#i hate that he’s growing older because i want him to play forever

[kraeki]

Happy birthday to the only man that actually has “aura”

Who’s calm as you like except when he has to deal with English referees

Who’s not only a world class footballer

But also a world class model

And the best captain we could ask for ❤️🧡

[ferrarrigirl]

i beg for some lando x reader where he is a girl dad!!!!!!! love ur work 🫶

Full House

Pairing: dad!Lando x mom!reader

Summary: Lando and reader with their 4 daughters, there’s always drama in the Norris household. Slight angst, mostly fluff.

A/N: Im so sorry this took forever to write but I hope you like it xx

You had just retired to your room after finally finishing up the last of your emails for today. Trying to sneak in a quick nap before the rest of the family gets home. Maybe you should’ve checked the time because just as you got comfortable, the front door unlocks downstairs, followed by Layla’s loud voice, “You just always have to take everything I want. Couldn’t this be the one thing you left for me?”

You immediately jumped out of bed heading for the stairs. As your racing down the steps, you hear the younger of the twins, Ava, retaliate, “I didn’t mean to Lay, it’s not my fault.”

Both girls turn to face you seeing you’ve reached the bottom step. “What is going on girls?” You question, deeply concerned with the anger laced in both their voices.

Layla’s first to reply, “Ask her Mom, ask her why she had to go after the one guy I liked.”

“I didn’t go after him, I don’t chase anyone” Ava seethes through gritted teeth.

“Oh cut the shit, you love having every guy’s attention. You should’ve left Jake alone!”

“Layla, stop,” you scold, noticing Ava’s patience is growing thin. That never ended well. Similar to her dad, it took a lot for her to get angry, but if she did, it wasn’t pretty.

“No Mom let her say what she has to. She’s just mad no one wants her.”

“Ava! That is not how you speak to your sister,” you move to step between them. “Let’s take a break and talk about this when you’ve both calmed down,” you offer.

“Fine by me, I never want to speak to her again,” Layla glares at Ava, turns on her heel and heads up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door, hard. You move to step towards Ava, in attempts to comfort her but she slips under your arm. “Please don’t defend her mom,” Ava sighs and heads up to her room as well. It’ll be best to try and get through to them later you think, especially with Lan. They always seem to more receptive hearing it from him. You turn to your younger babies, the less of the trouble makers. “How was both of yours days? Better I hope?”

“Oh yea mum the best, but I wanna catch up on some reading before dinner, is that okay?” 11 year old Amelia pleads, looking up at you through her beautiful green eyes. How could you deny that. “Of course you can bub” you say, pulling your bookworm baby into a hug. “I’ll come get you when dinners ready,” she smiles, padding up the stairs to her room aswell.

“Now you, my sweets, come here.” You crouch down to your 7 year old, knowing she gets very anxious whenever her older sisters argue. As expected, immediately she’s in your arms, almost throwing you back with the impact. You pick Charlotte up and move upstairs, asking her about her day to try and distract her. You take her to Lando’s office and settle into his gaming chair with her on your lap. It was always your comfort room, something about the darkness mixed with the led lights soothed you. She fills you in on the few things she learned today, but mostly all the games they played, while she snuggles further into you. You hated that she got the anxiety trait from you, so anything you could do to help her out, you would. Lucky for you, your voice worked well to relax her so you spoke to her about your day and felt her ease up.

“I’m home,” you smile hearing the front door open and close, followed by heavy footsteps moving quickly up the stairs. Char jumps off your lap, running out and straight into Lando’s arms. “Daddyyyy” she exclaims, presssing a sloppy kiss to his cheek. Lando follows where she came from, leading him to you sitting in his gaming chair. He furrows his brows, notificing your smile doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Are you okay babe?”

“Yea-“

“Lay and A had a big fight and they yelled and screamed at each other,” Char quickly spills.

“Oh sorry mummy,” she pouts seeing your gaze shift towards her. “Wanted to tell daddy so he can fix it.”

“That’s okay baby,” you stand, placing a kiss to her head. “Do you wanna go play with Amelia while me and daddy talk? We’ll grab to help cook dinner.”

Halfway through your sentence, she’s already jumping out of Lando’s arms and rushing out the door. “I’ll take that as a yes” you giggle while Lando engulfs you in his arms.

“Talk to me love” he mumbles against the skin of your neck, making sure to leave a few pecks. He stays like that, rocking you side to side as you unveil the events that led you here. It’s a lot to digest. And it’s never fun knowing your girls are fighting, especially if it’s over a boy, but you both know you need to get to the bottom of what happened.

“Hey” he pulls back and cups your face with a hand on each cheek. “They’re young, they’re siblings. They’re gonna fight. We can talk them both out of it.”

You were used to the twins fighting. They always bicker, but never like this. “I know Lan but you should’ve seen how they spoke to each other. Poor Char was frightened too.”

He pulls you back in for another hug, “Love, you know how sassy they can be. I’m sure once we speak to them, they’ll get over it just as quick.” he reassures rubbing you up and down your back.

“Fine but your talking to Layla,” you mumble into his chest.

You feel his chest rumble with laughter under your head. “Lucky me.” Pulling back he places a soft sweet kiss to your lips, grabs your hand pulling you in the direction of the twins rooms.

He goes first, knocking on Layla’s door. “Mom not now.”

“Not Mom, its Dad.”

Lando rolls his eyes hearing his eldest groan. He can imagine her dragging her feet towards the door. She opens the door the tiniest bit and rushes back into her bed, tucking herself into her multiple blankets. “I still don’t wanna talk. I’m only letting you in to know if you beat Uncle Los today.” Layla loved going to golf with her dad, the only one of the family that seemed to enjoy it, especially when her and Carlos would team up against Lando.

“Well I don’t want to talk about golf so I guess you won’t know.”

“Ughh stop being annoying dad,” she says, voice now muffled as she turns shoving her face into the pillow.

“Hey if you tell me, I’ll tell you.”

A moment of silence passes, he knows she wants to talk about it. Heck if with anyone it would be with him. She contemplates it, but shakes her head. “It’s embarrassing.”

‘Lay, there’s nothing you need to be embarrassed about with me. You can tell me anything.” Lando moves closer to sit by her, rubs her back up and down. “i won’t force you to talk, but I need you to know this is what me and your mom are here for. No judgement with us, ever.”

He stays like that, comforting Layla for a bit, and once he realizes she isn’t ready to talk yet, he moves to get up. But immediately she senses him leaving and turns back around. She looks up to her dad with tears flooding her eyes, “No one likes me dad.”

That’s all it took, and the tears started flowing. She moved into his arms and surely the silent cries turned into louder sobs. In the moment, Lando didn’t even know what to say. He felt like he did when the twins were younger and he’d always look to you to figure out why they were crying, but in this moment he knew it was all him. He began with hugging her back and reminding her she needs to stop crying or she won’t be able to breathe. She slowly pulled back and began explaining seeing the concerned look on her dad’s face.

“Jake is the only guy I’ve ever liked. And I thought he liked me back too.”

“Okay..” Lando swallows, not expecting her to be so blunt about boys, but he urges her to continue anyway.

“We got along really well, he was really nice and all of my friends even told me they knew he liked me. And then, today at school, infront of all us, he asked Ava out.”

“I see, what did Ava say?”

“She said no, obvs. But still. She gets every guy and she doesn’t even have to try. If Jake can’t even like me now, when we’ve been getting on for so much longer, then no one is ever going to like me.”

Lando’s starting to get it now. Being a twin in highschool surely can’t be easy. Especially when these years can have a great effect on your self esteem.

“Baby, you can not put your self worth into the hands of a boy. You are so beautiful inside and out, smart, and hilarious.” “And amazing at golf,” he emphasizes to bring a small smile to her face

“You are going to find someone that loves you for you, but that isn’t something you need to worry about yet. I know it’s hard seeing Ava have it different but it doesn’t make you any less better in any way.”

“It’s just not fair Dad.”

“I know bub, it might feel like that now but come next week, next month, you and no one else are going to remember this. And if that dumb boy can’t see everything amazing in my daughter, he isn’t someone I want for you and you shouldn’t want that for yourself either. I mean there will never be a boy good enough for my girls but this once isn’t even getting close.”

She lets out some more snotty giggles and reaches to hug Lando again. “Love you dad”

“ I love you more. Now, do you see how Ava is not at fault here?”

“Yeah I do. I guess in the heat of the moment it was easier to blame her.”

“I get that, but let’s try and have a breath before going at each other next time? You girls are lucky to have a built in best friend, never let a boy get in between you two.” Layla nods, feeling guilty about her behaviour earlier and realising she must’ve scared Charlotte, she asks “Is Char okay?”

“She is bub, don’t worry. Anything else you need?” Lando confirms, he didn’t want to impose and give her some alone time before dinner.

“No that’s it. Thank you Dad.”

“No problem sweets,” he reaches down placing a kiss to her head. “Go get up and shower, you’ve got snot everywhere,” he teases, moving to leave the room.

“Wait, so did you beat Los?”

“Nope, got absolutely destroyed.”

“Omg I have to text him,” she says breaking into a fit of laughter as Lando shakes his head and opens the door to head out. “Yeah yeah be down in 30 for dinner.”

He heads down the stairs, joining you in the kitchen. “How’d it go?” You inquire as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and rests his head on your shoulder. “Good, she was just feeling a little insecure.”

“Ava was the same,” you inform. “She was upset Layla thought she would do it to her on purpose, but I told her she knew it wasn’t but was acting in the heat of the moment.”

“Mhmm,” Lando mumbles, placing a few kisses to your neck, “just glad we got through to them.” You both settle into each others warmth when you hear giggles filling the house. All 4 girls come tumbling down the stairs heading straight for you. Amelia and Ava immediately cling to Lando having not seen him today. They pull him away, fillling him in on their day, while Layla comes to you holding Charlotte in her arms.

“I’m sorry mum,” she pouts. You can see the guilt eating away at her, she was always a softie at heart.

“That’s okay my love, how are you feeling now?” You wrap your arms around the 2 girls, trying to provide her some reassurance.

“Much better, i apologized to Ava too. But I’m really sorry for causing a ruckus at home.”

“I’m proud of you baby. Do not let anyone get in your head and make you forget how special you are, especially not a boy.” You press a big kiss to her cheek, “I love you sweets.”

Before Layla can reply, Char is jumping out of her arms and into yours, “Me tooo mummy.” You giggle, reaching to grab her and move to the couch to join the rest of your family. You all cuddle under a large blanket and decide pizza and movies is how you’ll spend the rest of the night.

[grimmcheems]

Piltie Jinx💖🎀

I always thought it’d be interesting to see what would’ve happened if Powder had been left behind or caught at the scene when she triggered Jayce’s lab experiments, when I watched the show like a yr ago that was one of the thoughts that always lingered and I like to think she would’ve been more cut out for Piltover society than the undercity bc she was neglected so much there and I think she’d be more charming to Piltie citizens with her docile nature and intelligence.

No hate to the other characters or Vander but the girl clearly had problems and they all wanted to pretend like they didn’t see it so they could feel better about taking her in and looking after her. She was also weaker and more unexperienced than the rest but they all somehow expected her to pull her own weight in high stress situations.[This unintentionally overlapped with the trailer drop bc I was completely unaware they even released them when I was making this like two weeks ago.]

That’s a whole can of worms that I’d rather not open rn bc then it becomes a whole discussion on her trauma along with poverty and a bunch of other things having to do with the people that were around her. She is given the name Jinny bc they got tired of having to refer to her without a specific name, and becuase she begged Jayce to give her one and he blurted out the first thing he saw lmao.

Anyways. In this the kids and Vi basically leave her at the scene out of fear of getting caught and because they aren’t confident that she could have even survived the blast. They all think she’s dead and Powder experiences memory loss, so law enforcement dumps her on Jayce as a punishment and reminder of how dangerous his lab was and how lucky he is that she’s alive, but along the way Viktor sees her potential in becoming a scientific inventor of some sorts based on the items she had with her when she tried escaping along with the intelligence she displays and he adopts her and takes the load off of Jayce after his probation period form the academy. Her and Jayce have a sibling bond.

I need to draw more of this but her young self experiencing this and growing up in their thriving society and blending into their society. I added makeup on her to show how well she’s managed to integrate into Piltover society and because she indulges in the riches there so much that people even forgot she was originally form the undercity, she pretty much looks and acts like she was born there. The pinkish color she puts around her eyes is her remembering Vi and the purple comes into play later when Viktor’s sickness gets worse.

I originally only drew her as an enforcer bc I got inspired by an edited pin on Pinterest but also wanted her to be an academy student so it’s a bit of an awkward mix but I figured she probably picked up becoming an enforcer as a pastime and way to make money(idk if they make money lmao) bc she can’t rely on Viktor and Jayce to provide for her forever, and because Grayson sort of inspired her a bit (though she is subconsciously reminded of Vi when she’s around Grayson). She also has a funny dynamic with Marcus, with him already being a double crossing loser he tries to be this cool older guy around her and miserably fails every time but only because she’s still young and carefree and because he basically kept it under wraps that she was alive the whole time after finding out that she was Vander’s adoptive daughter. So I guess you could say he just has a fatherly instinct towards her but who knows.

Might draw more of this later and have better details but for now this is it oop.

[cstads-blog]

ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ | ᴄᴀʀʟᴏꜱ ꜱᴀɪɴᴢ 55

masterlist

summary: the story of you and carlos, growing up, falling in love and finding forever

a/n: i love this one sm. its pure fluff and its actually a dream. i hope u like it as much as i do, lmk what you think :)

—————————

1997

carlos was three years old when you were born. he met you for the first time when you were just a week old. your moms had been friends since they were little kids so naturally they wanted their kids to grow up together as well.

as reyes led her little boy into the house, your mom held you in her arms on the couch. when carlos and reyes reached the room where you were, he stopped in his tracks. the little baby in front of him absolutely mesmerizing him. he climbed up onto the couch next to your mother and just stared at you, eyes wide and full of admiration.

“do you want to hold her” your mom asked carlos, who eagerly nodded. he opened his small arms and you were placed in his grasp, your mother supporting your head, reyes taking a photo to capture the moment. your little finger grabbed onto carlos’ thumb and he looked up at both women in front of him with the biggest smile on his face.

all he wanted to do was hold you. you were his now. he established that very quickly, not wanting to let go off you. he followed your mom around the house, always wanting to be where you were. he was captivated by you, the small baby. his new friend.

——

2003

you were six years old, carlos was nine. he was still as mesmerized by you now as he was the first time he saw you. you were his, he was yours. while he was three years older with many more important things going on and his new found focus in karting, he never failed to make you feel seen. he spent more time with you then the kids in his class at school. he was often bullied for it, wanting to play with the little girl. but he didn’t care.

on your first day of school, carlos led you into the building confidently. he showed you where your room was and where to meet for lunch and after school. you listened to the older boy like his words were the most important thing you would hear all day. when carlos left you at your classroom, you hugged him tightly. he assured you that everything would be okay, and you trusted him.

at six years old, everything in life was quite black and white, you didn’t know much about the world or life, but you did know that carlos was always there for you. you didn’t want him to leave you.

——

2013

you were sixteen and in school. carlos was nineteen and a development driver for red bull, starting to live out his dreams. carlos was starting to figure his life out and you were crying over your first and now ex-boyfriend. you knew carlos had a race this weekend, so you didn’t want to call him and bother him with a seemingly trivial problem. and even if you wanted to call carlos, you wouldn’t.

the girls at school bullied you for your relationship with carlos. one day when carlos was on break, he came to pick you up from school. when he pulled up to the front of the school you were standing with a few girls you considered your friends. he rolled down the window and smiled at you, you returning the smile. they all saw the way the two of you were looking at each other and felt the need to comment on it. they bullied you for having a crush on carlos, saying he just stuck around you because he had to and that he didn’t really want to spend time with you or care about you. you tried not to let it effect you, but when you got in the car and carlos started driving away you couldn’t help but let the tears fall. carlos asked what was wrong and you told him about the bullying. he sat and listened to what you were saying. he hated seeing you like this, crying over him. he never wanted you to cry, especially not with him. so he told you about how a few of the guys on the grid would make fun of him when he would call you. sharing stories about this topic was somehow calming for you. and ever so carlos, he cracked a joke about how they’re just jealous because they don’t have their own carlos sainz to call their best friend.

remembering that moment with carlos, you picked up your phone and called him. he picked up immediately, he always did. he sounded cheerful until he heard your cries through the phone. you sat on the phone with carlos for hours, just talking about anything and everything, trying to take your mind off of your ex. the call even helped him relax amid his upcoming race. that was something carlos would always cherish about you, how you could calm him down in any situation.

you had fallen asleep on the phone with carlos that night, not getting to wish him luck in his race. but he did get to tell you one thing, even if he you couldn’t hear it.

“i love you” was the last thing he said before finally hanging up the phone.

——

2019

you were twenty-two, fresh out of university, trying to find your way in the real world with a marketing degree. carlos was twenty-five and had just signed a contract with mclaren. it was christmas and you were both back home, in his childhood home. you were sitting close to each other on the couch, trying to make room for both of your families. you cuddled into carlos, a sight that wasn’t strange to witness. as you got older, you and carlos had come to realize both of your love languages were physical touch. you weren’t dating, but you and everyone knew your relationship was more than just friends.

everyone could see it in the way carlos looked at you, like you were the most important thing in his life. like you had hung the moon and the stars. he talked about you all the time, to the point where it was annoying. he mostly told his mom about you. about everything you did, from where the two of you went to dinner to your work to the new apartment you were thinking of purchasing in madrid to be closer to him when he was home. reyes could see that her son was in love with the girl, he always had been. she just needed carlos to realize that.

everyone also could see how in love with carlos you were. he was the first person you would call when you got home from work or after a long day. you hung onto carlos’ every word like they were words spoken but god himself. you would relax in carlos’ embrace and he was one of the only people who could calm you down. you suffered from anxiety and no matter how hard anyone tried the only person who could truly help you was carlos. hearing his voice, feeling his touch. when you were home with your family, you just wanted to see carlos. you would sit with your mom for hours, but the only person on your mind was carlos. your mom could tell how much you loved carlos, she knew you did when you were young, never saying anything. she just needed you to realize how much you truly loved him.

——

2020

you were twenty-three, new apartment, new job and a new puppy. carlos was twenty-six, ready to start a new season with ferrari. it was new years eve and you were at a party that carlos insisted you attend with him. the room was full of drivers and their partners, a few you knew but many you didn’t, so you clung to carlos’ arm almost the whole night. not that either of you cared, he loved feeling your touch. he led you over to the side of the room where they had set up a makeshift bar with cases of beer and other drinks sitting around. carlos handed you a beer and took one for himself as someone walked up next to him. carlos embraced the man in a friendly hug before pulling away and taking your hand again. he introduced you to the man who was going to be his teammate next year, charles leclerc. charles was nice and welcoming, talking like you’ve known each other for years, instantly feeling comfortable around him. you stood around for a bit longer, talking to charles until someone announced that there were only ten seconds to the new year.

carlos led you to the patio where everyone was standing waiting for the new years fireworks. carlos wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you leaned into his embrace, letting one hand rest across his back and the other on his stomach. the small red dress you were wearing not doing much to keep you warm, so you kept as close to carlos as possible trying to gain some of the warmth he had. you watched as everyone quickly found their partner and started counting, anxiously awaiting a new years kiss.

3

2

1

the fireworks exploded in front of you, a beautiful display of silver and gold. everyone around you kissed their partner, leaving you and carlos standing there. you looked up at him to find him already looking down at you. he had a look in his eye that was asking you the question he couldn’t find the words for. you simply nodded, giving him all he needed before he leaned down and kissed you. it was magical. those fireworks they talk about when you kiss the person you truly love were real and you were both feeling them right now. it was a kiss filled with passion and love and longing, both of you wanting this for years. when you finally pulled away for air, the smile on your face unmistakable. the boy you had been in love with for longer then you could remember was finally yours.

——

2023

you were twenty-six and adorned in a white dress that would make anyone lose their mind. carlos was twenty-nine and waiting at the alter for you, his hair done perfectly and his suit fitting in all the right places. as you linked arms with your father, a tear began to fall from his eye. his little girl was all grown up, getting married to the love of her life in her dream venue.

as they walked down the aisle with your father, carlos was standing at the alter with his five best friends behind him. when he saw you he couldn’t help the tears that began to fall down his cheeks. you smiled up at him, not being able to hold back your tears either. when you finally reached carlos, your father hugged him and gave you to your soon to be husband.

you stood in front of each other, doing what you were told by the priest. when it came time for the vows, carlos read his first. they were the most beautiful thing you had ever heard. he perfectly summed up your relationship and his love for you. you read yours and carlos listened with the utmost love in his heart. you always had a way with words and that was evident in your vows.

the priest was finally able to allow you to kiss carlos, finally being married. carlos grabbed your waist delicately, as your hands found their familiar spot on his neck. the kiss was magical, just like the first time. all of your friends and family cheered for the both of you, happy to finally see you where they always knew you would be.

that was the start of your forever, with carlos.

——

2026

you were twenty-nine and heavily pregnant. carlos was thirty-two and an absolute nervous wreck about becoming a dad. this is always what the two of you wanted, to start a family, but now that it was happening you couldn’t be more nervous. as you stood in his parents back yard in spain, surrounded by friends and family at your baby shower, it all felt a little more real. you were standing alone at the drinks table, helping yourself to another lemonade, when carlos walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around you, lifting up your belly. you let out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding in. you thanked carlos for relieving the weight to which he just kissed your neck. you leaned into him, your feet beginning to hurt. you placed your cup down, turning around in his arms and wrapping yours around his neck. you both just stood there for a moment, taking in the few moments you had left just the two of you before you welcomed your baby into the world.

both of your moms looked at their kids, the utmost admiration in their eyes. their babies, were about to have a baby of their own. it was exactly like they had planned when they were younger, watching the kids grow up. they both always knew that their kids were destined for each other and cherished the day all of their dreams came true.

as they watched you stand there together, looking into each other’s eyes with everything you had they could tell that this was perfect. you and carlos, carlos and you. how it was always supposed to be.

this was just another chapter in your book of forever.

[gummysharklover]

KART HEARTS !

summary: ᯓ˚࿔ schlatt falls in love under a pseudonym // ᯓ˚࿔ request found here

notes: ᯓ˚࿔ FLUFF <3 ᯓ˚࿔ gn!reader (no use of prns) ᯓ˚࿔ use of y/n ᯓ˚࿔ streamer!reader ᯓ˚࿔ reader has older siblings and a good relationship with their mom ᯓ˚࿔ tipsy schlatt bein cute :3 ᯓ˚࿔ reader does drugs😱😱😱 (gets a little high) ᯓ˚࿔ not proofread!

wc: ᯓ˚࿔ 1.8k

You've always loved gaming. Growing up, you would sit on the couch and play games, commentating on everything and talking to whoever would listen about what was going on. You even talked when nobody was around to hear, sharing your stupid thoughts with your imaginary audience.

Then, one day, your mom suggested you stream, and your heart nearly exploded—you'd been wanting to stream forever, but you were always scared of what she would say. Now that you had her approval, you were determined to make it work.

You started with no viewers, still talking into your shitty mic as you played your favorite games. Then, one night, a few people joined, and you chatted with them for the remainder of the stream.

"What games should I play?" You asked them, unsure what would get you big in the streamer world.

Most of them had replied with Mario Kart, and that's how you came to be where you are now.

Weeks went on, your small audience kept demanding Mario Kart, and you kept telling them, "In a little bit."

Secretly, you dreaded playing Mario Kart, seeing as you always lost to your older siblings, but you were finally willing to give it a shot.

You start the stream, just showing your face, and you let out a joking sigh, "Okay, chat. You guys have been asking me to play Mario Kart, so here it is."

Your chat exploded with cheers and excitement, and you can't help but smile at their enthusiasm—maybe this wouldn't be as bad as you thought.

You were slowly rising in popularity, becoming one of the top Mario Kart streamers. And that's when you caught the attention of one certain Jschlatt.

Popping into his stream for the first time in what felt like forever, you were pleased to hear his voice as he raged about how Ted was going to drag him to "Smoggy Los Angeles."

Smiling, you don't look at the chat, content just watching Schlatt's dramatic facial expressions. And then he cocks his head in confusion, squinting as he reads the comments.

"Who the fuck is Y/n?" He asks, and your face falls.

"Seriously, chat. Who is that, and why are you freaking out that they're here?"

'Sorry,' You type, 'I'm just a small streamer who plays a lot of Mario Kart.'

He reads your message, "Mario Kart, huh?"

'Yes, sir,' You reply, and Schlatt knows he has to watch you play, but he can't just enter your chat—he suspects it'll ruin your stream because you two clearly share an audience. And, for once, he doesn't want to be selfish and take all the attention.

So, he makes a new account—a stupid one named "mkmaster47."

You look at your chat—someone you've never seen has asked you a question, and you grow nervous at its contents.

mkmaster47: you any good at this?

Schlatt immediately hates himself for putting you down without even trying to.

You laugh nervously, "I hope so. I mean..." You sigh a little, fidgeting with your hands, "I get first most times, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm good—"

A text-to-speech donation cuts you off. mkmaster47: "Sorry," It begins to read, "Didn't mean to make you nervous, was just asking a question."

You feel your heart rate slow down, "Well, are you any good at it, Mario Kart Master forty-seven?"

mkmaster47: i'd say I am.

You laugh a little, and Schlatt decides it's his new favorite noise, "I'll have to take your word for it."

And Schlatt spends the next hour of your stream watching in awe as you win every round.

He began tuning in religiously; it was just for entertainment—that's what he told himself. But, deep down, Schaltt had grown fond of you. Your annoyance when you got hit with a shell or got passed right at the end, and your joy when you win—he could never get tired of it.

"Chat," You smile, "I finally got the DLC for the original tracks," You practically squeal out of excitement.

mkmaster47: what was your fave ttack growibg up?

You smile as you read the name, giggling at the typos, having grown fond of this mystery person.

"Mk," You begin, and Schlatt lights up at the nickname you've given him, "My favorite track when I was growing up was definitely Mushroom Gorge. It was the only one I could beat my siblings at. What was yours?"

He tells you his childhood favorite, and you smile, "That was one of my least favorite tracks. I sucked at that one. Also, what's up with the typos, Mk?"

mkmaster47: tipsy

"Tipsy, huh? So I'm gonna take a guess and say you're twenty-one or older?"

mkmaster47: yesd maam

You laugh, shake your head, and turn back to your game, "'M gonna see if I can still body this track."

A text-to-speech comes through, "I'm sure you can, pretty girl."

And then your chat explodes.

"WHAT???"

"PRETTY GIRL? I SHIP SO HARD!!!"

"OH THEY'RE IN LOVE!"

Your face warms at the pet name, and you try to hide your smile, "Mk, you flatter me."

Schlatt watches as you flawlessly finish the race, coming in first place each time.

mkmaster47: have you evrr playrd with a lro streamer?

mkmaster47: pro steamer

mkmaster47: fujxc

One of the things you've come to adore about Mk is how much he makes you laugh, "No, I've never played with a pro streamer. I don't really know any streamers personally."

And Schlatt knows exactly what to do.

mkmaster47: i know a few

You cock your head, "Do you, now, Mk?"

mkmaster47: mhm

"Yeah? Like who?"

mkmaster47: tedjamin nivison is a close friuend ofg mine

You shake your head, "Liar."

Your chat is going wild, but you're only interested in what Mk has to say.

mkmaster47: not lyingf

"Prove it."

Silence, and you know you've caught him in a lie. But then your phone dings. It's a Twitter notification.

Tednivison mentioned you in a Tweet @/Youraccountname: How dare you call mkmaster47 a liar

Your eyes go wide, "What the fuck. Mk, who the fuck are you?"

And then you get radio silence from him the rest of the stream, leaving you to wonder.

You stayed up way too late trying to figure out who your mystery person is.

"Is it really Schlatt?" You had mumbled to yourself about one billion times. It would only make sense, right? Schlatt is a master at Mario Kart, Mk only started tuning in after the whole debacle with Schlatt, and he's close friends with Ted. But so much doubt crept into your mind. Why would Schlatt watch your shitty streams? Why would he spend so much money on donations for you? And why would he would he call you 'pretty girl?'

You're tired; you stream anyway.

mkmaster47: you look tired

You quirk a brow, "Shouldn't you be hungover or something?"

mkmaster47: i didn't mean it in a bad way. I just think you should rest if you're tired. Don't stress yourself out with this job. It'll catch up with you in the long run.

"Yeah? And how would you know, Mk?"

mkmaster47: I'm a streamer, doll.

You begin to sweat—is this actually Schlatt? Or are you psyching yourself out?

You gulp, "Yeah? And who might you be?"

mkmaster47: Hmmm... I'm not sure if I should tell you yet.

You roll your eyes playfully, smiling as you say, "Okay, Mk."

You play race after race, coming in second or third each time, and you curse yourself. You feel so self-conscious, knowing Schlatt might be watching you.

"Chat, I think I'm done with Mario Kart for the day. Let's just chat."

mkmaster47: What you wanna talk about, doll?

You try to hide your smile at the pet name, but your chat catches on.

Oh, they're in love.

SHIP!! I SHIPP ITTTTT!!

y'all are trending on twit😭

You check Twitter, and surely, the tag: "Y/n and Mk" is trending; you internally scoff, "This is getting out of hand."

mkmaster47: so, what? you don't wanna be in love with me?

Your face heats up, and your chat flames you for your coy smile, "I never said that," You sigh, "But... I do have a small crush on somebody."

Schlatt feels dejected. Of course, you have a crush on somebody, but he decides to dig deeper.

mkmaster47: and who might that be?

You shake your head, clicking your tongue, "Not gonna get that information out of me."

Your chat is going off, once again, the same iteration of "How could you not tell us?" And, "I feel so betrayed."

"You guys do know that I keep things to myself most of the time, right?" You giggle at the responses, and Schlatt finds himself grinning so hard his cheeks hurt.

After about an hour of talking, discussing Mario Kart, asking your viewers if they would be okay with you playing some other games, and not so subtly flirting with Mk, you decide to end your stream.

You're tired and stupid, and you decide to get a little high. You've been staring at your phone for what feels like hours; it's been about three minutes. You decide to open Twitter, and you feel out of control as you tap the button to start a message.

You: Hey, are you, by any chance, mkmaster47?

He reads the message but doesn't answer, and you panic.

"Why would I do that?" You mutter under your breath because, obviously, it's not him. Why would it be him? So you're rethinking everything—how disgusted Schlatt looked when people in his chat started talking about you, how he's never been the type to be outwardly affectionate, how stupid you are to think it could be him.

You turn your phone off and sigh, slumping down in your bed. You're unsure of what to do—you've made a complete fool of yourself, and you just hope Schlatt doesn't bring it up anywhere.

But then your phone dings. You grab it feverishly, unlocking it to see what the notification is.

Schlatt has replied, and you think you're going to implode.

Jschlatt: Maybe.

That's all you get. A simple "Maybe."

You: Maybe?

Jschlatt: You're good at Mario Kart.

You read the message, face dropping, as your heart rate spikes.

You: So you're him?

Jschlatt: Yeah. I am, pretty girl.

You: Prove it.

Jschlatt: Doll, you ask me to do a lot of proving.

You: I'm just shocked that you've been watching my streams for months.

Jschlatt: I've grown quite fond of you. Too bad you've got a crush.

Schlatt frowns at his own message, reminded of what he can't have.

You: I have some good news for you.

Then you have Schlatt nervous. He sits in suspense as he sees the typing bubble.

You: I've got a crush on you.

He smiles, whooping as he reads the message.

"Fuck yeah," He mutters, then he smirks with a plan in mind.

Jschlatt: Prove it.

Your jaw gapes.

You: No fucking way you just asked me to prove it.

Jschlatt: I did, doll.

You go on to prove that you do, in fact, have a crush on the man you've been crushing on for years.

Jschlatt: Simp lmfao.

You: I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now btw.

Jschlatt: I'm head over heels for you btw.

AHHHHHHHHHH streamer!reader my beloved

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day twenty-two: cunnilingus

>>> idk why i’m only here for yandere rough megumi sjdkfkffkg i mean he isn’t all the way yandere but it’s strongly implied, y’all enjoy!

>>> starring: megumi fushiguro x curvy!f!reader >>> cw: yandere-ish behavior, cunnilingus (f receiving) clearly, doggy, overstimulation, prone bone kinda, creampie, jealous megumi. >>> wc: 2.5k >>> event masterlist.

it really was his favorite place to be. being between your legs, face buried in your warm, wet and sweet-tasting cunt was so soothing and fulfilling to him he simply could not get enough. he wondered if he had an oral fixation specifically because of your pussy, almost concerned with how much he loves being on his knees wherever whenever just to get a taste of you. at the beginning of your relationship, megumi was a bit…nervous around you. it wasn’t like his mind wasn’t coursing with lewd thoughts about his pretty little curvy angelic goddess of a girlfriend, he just didn’t know how to tell you he craved your cunt on his face like normal men crave water. so yes, he had to come out of his sexual shell so to speak. but it seems this god forsaken get together at gojo’s was going to ease him out of it—and your cunt wouldn’t be his sweet release, it would be his sloppy playtoy by the end of the night.

not to say that megumi wasn’t pleasing you enough already, though, of course. he may be a bit routine about things, but he always took care of you. did you want him to be a little rougher from time to time? sure, but you’ve never been with someone so eager and passionate about eating you out either. that alone was worth his perhaps lack in kinkiness.

though your boyfriend has a bunch of his own ideas including a host of naughty things he wants to do to you as well as the ones spurring from his crippling jealousy. he’s not even quite sure where it comes from, gojo gave him everything he needed out of life and he never felt jealous of other kids growing up despite his unconventional upbringing. but when it came to you, he felt something sinister tug at him. maybe it was because you are so otherworldly beautiful that he can’t help but be on standby, waiting for someone to make a shitty comment about your body or stealing you away. maybe it’s because he knows he’s not doing enough to earn the pleasure of calling you his. but no one else could do any better than him, he knows that for sure.

so why is yuuta trying? he knows full well who you belong to—gojo’s famed favorite former pupil has you pulled aside, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your protective and sensitive boyfriend. it’s been years since you all had gojo-sensei’s class, but megumi still hated that yuuta okkotsu. his dad favored him as his successor over him, and even yuji took to him pretty quickly. those were reasons enough to hold a forever grudge, but watching the older man hold all your attention was driving him to murderous thoughts. having all the former sorcerers in one spot wasn’t a good idea—especially not when megumi had acquired an absolute babe in the time apart from his now young adult friends.

especially not when yuuta had you leaned against the wall, nervously chuckling to whatever he was saying, eyes darting around to look for your boyfriend. megumi was frozen in place, trying to settle the argument between the devil and angel on each shoulder. he could just approach yuuta and explain reasonably that you’re spoken for, and that he should keep it moving. but on the other hand, he thinks he should punch yuuta in the face because everyone knows you’re spoken for and that he’s your man. then he should drag you upstairs and fuck you sore and screaming until every person in attendance was uncomfortable. he can see you get increasingly anxious, so he makes the decision.

“c’mon okkotsu. you know that’s my girl.” you hear the ice drip from his tone. he’s not playing any games, and that’s clear by his unamused scowl and the way he folds his arms over his chest. you’re relieved to see him, smiling softly at the man you’ve always known to be your stoic and calm boyfriend. but the look in his eyes as he slides them over to look at you sends a shiver down your spine. yuuta chuckles nervously, blaming the alcohol and your cute dress for his lack of sense.

megumi growls at that, rearing his hand back to start a real problem. this was practically his house, he didn’t care about any potential repercussions—but your voice comes over him to invoke reason.

“hey hey, point made. he’s gone.” you know it’s true based off the shuffling of yuji and toge getting off the couch to ensure that yuuta and megumi are separated before it can come to blows. you lean into his chest, but his gaze only follows the group of boys as they shift upstairs.

his arms fall around your waist, and he wonders if he actually even heard what you said or if your voice alone was enough to make him hesitate. the rest of the party guests still watch the scene—wondering if it gets better or worse from here. some of them had experienced megumi’s temper before, some knew it was a horrific mix of nurture and nature, both his father and the man who raised him horrifically jealous beasts of nature. and the apple doesn’t fall far.

“go upstairs. find a room.” he snarls, daring anyone in attendance to speak up against him. your cheeks flush at his command. he’s only ever spoken to you with a gentle tone, with patience and understanding and all the warmth a man like himself can convey. but you’ve yearned for this other side—this gruffness in his voice and the unwavering dominance in his eyes. he doesn’t care that everyone’s watching—in fact, he wants them to. you nod eagerly, turning tail to find an unoccupied spare room in gojo’s giant house.

he only loiters behind long enough to let everyone watch you obey him—the prettiest woman in the universe, who could easily have anyone she ever wanted, caters to his every whim and order. he lags behind you just a bit, but you can feel his presence. it’s dark. he’s always been a distant, more guarded man. because of that, he’s always been regarded as cold. but his light never felt daunting until now. he never felt oppressive or controlling or possessive; you don’t have to look over your shoulder to know he’s close. it makes heat lick up your stomach walls and bubble down your legs as you wobble towards a room at the end of the hall that was sure to be vacant. you knock to be sure anyway, but megumi reaches around your waist to open the door anyway. his other hand grips your hip, pushing your forward with the pressure of his pelvis against your ass.

you gasp and stumble into the darkness, giggling a little in excitement as you find the bed. megumi’s fingers find the light switch, and you turn to look at his anger riddled features, something only jealousy could produce.

“yuuta okkotsu, huh?” he asks, pulling his shirt over his head. it messes up the spiky tendrils of his hair, but you don’t notice over the crazed look in his eyes. he’s pale and lean, dips along his slender abdomen indicating the strength hiding beneath. he fiddles with his belt next. “you have a voice. why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

you flush with embarrassment, anxiety rippling at your core to mix with the burning excitement. “i—i was try—“

“i—i” megumi mocked, licking his teeth. he walked closer to you, taking over that tiny little sundress you wore that was no doubt the only layer keeping him or anyone else away from your drooling cunt. it aggravates him. you look this beautiful out in public all the time—and it really didn’t matter if you were in this slutty dress or a goddamn burlap sack, anyone with eyes in their head could tell that you were an angel among mortal men. “you’re too nice for your own good. you almost got his ass kicked because you don’t know how to speak up for yourself.”

you bite your lip, nodding along to his scolding. you know you should apologize to him, but you can’t deny how much it turns you on to see him so angry. especially when he approaches you, pushing your sitting form in to a laying one so he could yank you by the hips to the bottom of the bed. he flips your sundress up, snarling again when he finds you bare—and soaking fucking wet.

“oh i see. you’re cute enough to parade around like this but can’t tell other boys you have a man?” he spits on your pussy, sliding it around your hood and lips with his middle and ring fingers. “i’ll help you find your voice.”

he shoves your thighs apart and keeps them like that, rolling his eyes as you squirm and writhe. it’s only in excitement, though. your hands find his hair to prove it as he dives toward your cunt, lapping at you eagerly. he can’t help but moan at your taste—no matter how many tried only he got to experience this moment, the way you look with his mouth suckling on your clit; brows draw up in ecstasy, lip already swollen and puffy from your teeth repeatedly gnawing into it. he couldn’t help but be obsessed with you, anyone would be—it was clear that pretty much everyone was.

but you remind him of your love when you clutch your thighs around his face, tugging his hair so hard he has no choice but to bury his face deeper, sucking and biting on your clit so roughly you whimper—big hands that always stay cool to the touch paw at the meat of your thighs to let you know just how much he enjoys being one that pleasures you. he needs to hear you scream his name—needs you to let everyone know who it is that’s got you seeing stars and arching off the mattress.

“meg—gonna cum, oh sh—“ your stomach burns, and you lurch and crumple to try to relieve it, but megumi holds you down. he grunts to egg you on, demanding your orgasm to come quicker as he nibbles on the very source of your pleasure, sending colorful orbs flashing across your vision as you wail his name. you’re getting there, but he knows you can get louder.

“don’t hold back now, do better.” he seems agitated as he hooks his arms around your thighs—pulling your cunt to his face without any means of escape. he slides his tongue back in your hole, intense jaded emerald eyes watching your contorted face of deliriousness. you were brainless already, chants of ‘megumi—megumi—megu—meg-megumi!’ roll past your lips as he slides his tongue along your entire slit, nose bumping against your swollen and oversensitive clit so hard he almost feels bad for all his old classmates and friends listening to your guttural cries. almost.

you’re weightless, suspended in space—floating in a river of unending bliss. it’s too much. you’re finally getting what you’ve always asked for and you can’t handle it—and his pants are still on. the only things tying you to the planet are: the feeling of his soft hair clenched tight in between your fingers, the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes from the sheer pressure of his mouth milking your pussy, and his delicious grunts of demand. you can’t deny him, and your hips clearly beg for more as they hump his face to push you towards your second edge in just a few minutes.

he hopes yuuta and all those other motherfuckers that have ever thought about toeing the line get the fucking message—you’re certainly being loud and clear. your vision darkens completely, mouth dropped in a permanent yell of his name. it’s perfect, and megumi lacks the patience to be gentle, for once. he shoves you back, lips glistening with your slick, cheeks red from his hard work and eyes flickering with a cold flame so hot your whole body burns for him.

he shrugs, shoving his pants down and tugging at the hand of his solid black briefs next. “face down, ass up.” you bite your lip in anticipation, rolling to your stomach in the pretty arch he requested. he nods at your obedience, getting up on the bed with you. his cool touch finds your hips at the same time his fat cockhead finds your entrance—and he’s pulling you down on him mercilessly. “don’t you dare quiet yourself. i want them to hear everything.”

his growl affects you almoat as much as his rough strokes, curved pale length stabbing through to your cervix without any breaks in between. megumi cursed under his breath, pulling your arms behind your back to ensure that you struggled to obey him. it was cute watching you turn your face in the covers so he—and everyone else—could hear your animalistic cries. he pins your wrists in one massive trap of his own hand, his other still leveraging a hold on your hip to keep you from escaping his brutal ruts.

it’s no wonder he’s a jealous fucking freak over you at all. your pussy was magical, soaking wet and beaten into the shape of him and him alone—you gripped him like his own personal mold. he couldn’t stomach anyone even thinking about having you in the way he has you right now. it messes with him that he can’t stop that—but maybe your gorgeous curses of his name will be enough to ward off such worries for a while. he fills you so perfectly you could never think about another man anyway—even if he was only soft and gentle and tender with you, a far cry from what he is right now, you’d never stray. but especially with this performance, with your brain jolting around in your head and nothing but fire and ice flooding your senses—you can only scream out your love for him just like he wants.

“that’s what i’m talking about. scream and cum, babe.” he encouraged, letting your hands go so he could yank on your hair. he tugs hard, and it sends electricity shooting down your spine. his voice is so raspy and needy as his cock twitches inside your walls—as unforgiving and tight as they were since you were fluttering close to your release. “i said cum.”

you gasp out, feeling him pinch your clit again, the final push you needed as you reach out for the headboard. he keeps you from crawling away by knocking you flat to the bed, hand sprawled across your back to make you take it. you’re a goner, only able to feel the ridges of his cock abusing your worn hole—scraping against the entrance to your womb from this angle. his speed dies down and warmth floods your cunt, making a dumb little smile spread across your face. he rolls his hips into your ass slower, riding out your high. he’s panting, running a hand through his sweaty hair before he leans over to kiss you. he’s still needy, eagerly finding your mouth and kissing you with a beautiful mix of passion and aggression.

it sinks in then just how rough he’s been with you, and his eyes flash with regret. his lips move to form an apology—but a knock on the door cuts him off.

“hey junior—you done? everyone’s traumatized. great work.” gojo snickers—clearly proud of his boy.

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 3? (read part 2 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. swearing, online hate, we’re getting to the angst now 🫣 arguments, charles is an idiot, arthur and joris being sick of his shit (but what else is new)

pairings. charles leclerc x arsty!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. again, i have no idea how much modern art sells for at auctions so don’t come at me if this seems unrealistic 🙏☹️ i also feel the need to clarify that y/n has 2 instagram accounts, one personal and one for art stuff ☺️

liked by joris_trouche and 51,196 others

y/nsart auction update! 🎨

tide - sold for €12,460 erode - sold for €9,500 wave - sold for €20,890 glint - sold for €6,300

this is nothing short of a dream come true for me. the support i’ve seen both on social media and at the auction (once again, thank you to everyone who stopped by!) has been beyond anything i ever could have hoped for 🩵

if you’d told me when i was a little girl that one day people would pay for art i’ve created, i wouldn’t have believed you. i’m so so grateful to have been given this opportunity to do something that i love and to share it with the world 💗 i can’t wait to see what the future holds!

view all comments…

username congratulations y/n! 💕💕

*y/nsart liked this comment

leclerc_pascale C'est tout à fait mérité. N'arrêtez jamais de peindre, ma fille, vous avez un don! / completely deserved. never stop painting, my girl, you have a gift!

y/nsart merci beaucoup 🥹 je promets de ne pas le faire x / i promise i won’t

arthur_leclerc congratulations petite sœur! / little sister

y/nsart merci arth ☺️

y/nsart also, ‘petite’? i’m literally older than you?

arthur_leclerc but you’re smaller 🙃

charles_leclerc toujours fière de toi, ma chérie ❤️ / forever proud of you, sweetheart

y/nsart 😐

charles_leclerc you’re still mad at me? ☹️

y/nsart if you wanted one of my paintings you could have just asked rather than wasting over €20,000. i would have let you have it for free

charles_leclerc i didn’t waste anything, y/n

username uh oh mom and dad are fighting 😳

username ironic how her highest selling painting was literally bought by her best friend 😭

username i guarantee you it would NOT have sold for that much if charles hadn’t been bidding

username i don’t want to be the one to say it but lately it kind of feels like y/n’s been using her friendship with charles as a way to promote her art…

username as much as i love y/n icl i think you might be right 🥲

username 🤢🤢🤢

username stop using charles’ fame to try and make yourself relevant! you’ll never be good enough for him babes 🥰

username the switch up on these comments from ‘fans’ is actually so embarrassing

username i know! it’s like as soon as y/n starts becoming successful everyone suddenly decides it’s not because of her own hard work but because of charles 🙄

username lmao how has she managed to make tens of thousands for that shit she calls art? i’m sensing a clout chaser 😂

username this REEKS of jealousy

username these comments make me sick. y/n has proved time and time again how talented and hard working she is. just because charles doesn’t know you exist doesn’t mean you get to hate on another girl who he ACTUALLY cares about. grow up.

*charles_leclerc and y/nsart liked this comment

username i feel so bad for y/n. no offence to charles but if he’d let the auction play out normally without bidding (although he does have a right to do so if he wants!) then she wouldn’t be getting all this hate right now 😔

comments on this post have been limited.

liked by pierregasly and 1,567,836 others

charles_leclerc back to work 🇳🇱

view all comments…

username no y/n like? ☹️

username is y/n with you?

username guys check kym illman’s instagram! he said charles turned up to the paddock alone…

username i mean, y/n could be arriving later right?

username if y/n isn’t there it’ll be the first race she’s missed since singapore last year 😳

username y/n has a life besides charles! just because she’s not at one race doesn’t mean they’ve fallen out or anything ☺️

username but think about it…neither charles nor y/n have posted anything to do with each other since the auction a week ago normally they can barely go a day without posting each other 🥴

username can everyone just stop talking about y/n 🙄 all she ever did was distract him anyway

username forza charles! ❤️

username he’s not even smiling :((

username because he knows ferrari are shit, it’s probably nothing to do with y/n

username i didn’t even mention her? 😭

joris_trouche i think you’re missing someone mate

username JORIS??

username HE KNOWS SOMETHING!!

username JORIS PLEASE TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

username i hate to be the bearer of bad news but y/n just posted. she’s not at the grand prix 🥲

yourusername

viewed by charles_leclerc and 9,637 others

replies:

arthur_leclerc oh shit arthur_leclerc what did he do joris_trouche just say the word and i’ll smack him for you 😁 ↳ yourusername please don’t do that 😭 yourfriend you don’t need him, mon amour ❤️ ↳ yourusername ☺️

you:

did i do something wrong?

we haven’t spoken in a week

charlie 🤍:

no, y/n

you:

you won’t answer my calls

charlie 🤍:

i’ve been thinking about what you said

i don’t want you to have to deal with hate because of me

you:

so you think ignoring me is the answer?

charlie 🤍:

i’m not ignoring you, y/n, i’m trying to protect you

you:

what the fuck?

charles, i don’t care what people say about you

charlie 🤍:

but i do

isn’t it for the best? if we aren’t seen together for a while, you won’t get any of the hate

you:

you really don’t get it do you

if you think i want you to cut me off to ‘protect me’ then maybe you don’t know me as well as i thought you did

charlie 🤍:

don’t say that

i just want everyone to see you the way i do

you:

and i already told you, i don’t care what they think of me

i only care what you think

charlie 🤍:

why?

you:

i’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet

charlie 🤍:

figured what out? [ seen at 4:11PM ]

y/n?

you:

i think it’s best if we don’t see each other for a while

bye charles

charlie 🤍:

what?! [ seen at 4:13PM ]

y/n come back [ delivered at 4:14PM ]

just tell me what you mean [ delivered at 4:20PM ]

please y/n [ delivered at 4:47PM ]

liked by yourfriend and 1,637,937 others

scuderiaferrari A DNF in Zandvoort for Charles. Now time to refocus ready for Monza 🔜

view all comments…

username what the actual fuck was going on with him today?

username i don’t know. i’ve never seen him so distracted 😕

username honestly a rookie mistake. if he’s going to be pulling shit like this then he doesn’t deserve his seat 🤷

username it’s just one mistake?? calm down 😭

username why do i feel like this has something to do with y/n…

username oh my god will you all shut up about y/n 🙄 they’re not even dating !!

username and? they’ve been best friends since they were 5 years old. if my childhood friendship broke down i’d be pretty fucking upset about it too

username we don’t actually know that they’ve fallen out tho…neither of them have said anything

username but isn’t it obvious? y/n not at the race, charles being distracted and sulky around the paddock? they’ve definitely argued about something

username charles i can’t keep defending you when you do this 💔💔💔

username how this guy has managed to keep his seat with all these mistakes i have no idea 😒

username hopefully y/n will be in monza to bring him some good luck🤞

➜ part 4

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Hey first of all, thank you for your writing! I enjoy reading your work a lot. I wanted to request an addition to the older sister! Reader AU where the avengers manage to catch a person who used to be a high ranking officer in the red room and has a lot of intel. They specifically requests to see reader. And reader goes in and the person is smug and taunts r about everything she did under dreykov and what dreykov did to r. (Hints to a lot of sexual assult trauma, if you dont mind) and r has gotten used to the taunts, having bward plenty during her red room days. Carol though who was outside in the interrogation room with r’s sisters is livid. She is very protective of r and so she comes inside the room angry. But as the person keeps taunting and saying demeaning stuff about r u still remain unaffected but carol cannot take it. I mean thats the idea I had, you could do whatever u want with it! Thanks again. And sorry for the longg request

Mine to Protect

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

There things in this story that be triggering of people, please advise the warnings!

Warnings: heavy description of past sexual experiences (usage of handcuffs, voyeurisms, power dynamic, ) implied sexual assault (uses it to taunt the Reader and Carol), original male character uses pet names from the reader, gross dirty talk, past trauma mentioned, self harm, death of an original character, mention of killing, Carol is hella pissed this this and protective.

Relationships: Carol x Reader, Yelena x Natasha x Reader (Platonic), Avengers x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3.0k

All of your life, you’ve known pain. The pain was physical suffering\ or discomfort. It caused great trouble, and it could be mental or physical. Pain in the Red Room was negative. It was mystery hands that held you down and took whatever they wanted from you. Hours spent at training, at the ballet bar, or forced to kill your fellow Widows because of an order given. You hated pain and all the negative thoughts that came with it.

However, your life changed. It wasn’t contained by the Red Room. You had room to grow, dream, and create the person Dreykov tried to destroy. Now, pain wasn’t always negative. There was pain that morphed into pleasure when Carol bit down on your neck and soothed it with her tongue; a warmth would fill your belly. Sometimes, you went a little too hard as you trained against Steve and felt each punch from the super soldier, but your laughter bounced off the walls. Other times, you brunt your hand when cooking with Wanda or lose an arm wrestling match with Maria. All that pain was good, a reminder that you were free.

You sat outside. The brisk New York fall air filled your lungs. There was an ache in your fingers as you played the guitar. It would take time for callouses to form on your fingers. You heard the door open and close, but it didn’t stop you from humming to the song you were playing. It was Steve, Tony, and Maria. Oh boy. Stopping, you put the guitar beside you and gave the trio your attention. “Why do I smell trouble?” You asked.

“It’s not me,” Tony said, sniffing under his arm. “I showered.” You rolled your eyes at the billionaire.

“Does the name Andrei Lebedev?” You kept your face neutral, but your stomach dropped. That name would forever be in your nightmares.

“Yes, he was part of Dreykov’s second ring. He disappeared when the Red Room fell. He’s been on Melina’s list, but we haven’t been able to locate and deal with him,” you explained.

“Deal with him?” Steve questioned. “So would kill him if you found him?” You huffed in frustration.

“Don’t act all high and mighty, Rogers. These men have power even with the Red Room gone; they are better off dead.” With a vacant spot, there was a fight to be at the top. You and some of the other freed Widows were working on eliminating them before they could gain momentum. You looked at Maria. “What’s going on?” She handed you a file.

“Lebedev was found in New Asgard,” you opened it and saw a mug shot. The man was 6 feet, 5 inches tall. He had striking blue eyes. Unlike the last time you saw him, his dark brown was longer instead of neatly combed. However, a faint beard outlining his jaw gave you the idea that he was going somewhere safe to shave. “He was looking for asylum, but Val thought he was acting odd and brought him in for questioning.”

“Once they learned who he was, Fury had him transferred to us for questioning,” Tony added. You handed back the file.

“What does this have to do with me?” You had a feeling you knew where this was going.

“He won’t talk to anyone, not me, Maria, or Natasha,” Steve said. “He’s asking for you.” Fuck. Of course, he fucking was. God dammit. Why was Wanda away on a mission?

“What do we want from him?” You asked. Killing him would be the easiest solution.

“Fury wants whatever information we can get from him before sending him to the RAFT,” Maria explained. “Will you talk to him?” You sighed, stood up, and grabbed the guitar.

“Let’s get this over with.”

*

Sometimes you used pain to punish yourself. Your time at the tower was perfect. Self-inflected pain was the best tool you used to remind yourself of the past. Of the blood you shed and the countless lives ended by your hand.

On the other hand, pain helped ground you. A pinch of the skin on your thigh, biting down on your lip, or fingernails digging into your palm. Anything to help you stay present, preventing your mind from slipping away.

You stared at the door that separated you from him, nails digging into your palm. Your sisters and Carol will be watching. There was no fighting them on that. Sighing, you opened the door. “My malen’kiy pauk (little spider),” it had been a long time since you’ve heard someone call you that name. You closed the door. Immediately, pulling the chair away from the table to sit down. “I’ve missed you so much,” he continued. “But our last meeting was a little different,” he moved his handcuffed hands onto the table. The clash of metal echoed in the quiet room. “If I remember correctly, you were the one handcuffed. No matter to me,” he leaned forward. “I do love a change in a power dynamic.”

You crossed your arms against your chest, placed your right leg over your left, and leaned back into the chair. You remembered that day. Andrei Lebedev was part of Dreykov’s second circle or the vtoroy. These men were trusted as handlers and could leave the Red Room on missions or requests from Dreykov or his inner circle. But they were still seen as less than. They aimed to become part of the pervyy, the men closest to Dreykov. Although Dreykov was the face of the Red Room, it was impossible to run it without help. These men had the same amount of power as him; their word was God because you knew Dreykov knew about the order. A majority of the members of the party were killed in the Red Room explosion. The men you were after were part of the vtoroy. If the Red Room remained, Andrei would be part of the pervyy. He was a cable solider, a little hot-headed, but Dreykov would have crushed that spirit into submission. As a mission success, the pervyy granted Andrei’s request: a night with you. It wasn’t the only time you laid underneath this main.

“Being an Avenger looks good on you, kotenok (kitten). It fills you out nicely,” he groaned, licking his lips. “I bet you taste just as sweet. Do you want to be a good girl again? Just for me.” Still, you remained unfazed, face neutral. Men like this loved to talk, to inflate their ego with their sexual conquests. With time, he would reveal everything.

“I think about our time together a lot,” he smiled. “Your moans were music to my ears. They helped me through many lonely nights.” Lonely nights? The phrase stuck out to you for some reason. How many nights was he truly alone? He was freshly shaved and showered; you figured Val wouldn’t give him time alone to do all these things before locking him up. The man disappeared without a trace once the Red Room fell. Not even Melina, with her contacts, could find him. Andrei was bright but needed to be more smart to avoid capture. Who was helping him?

“Come on, baby,” he whined, mimicking a child throwing a tantrum. “Let me hear that voice again. You were very talkative when we last saw each other. I miss it,” his fingers tapped against the table. “Tell me, pretty, can anyone make you cum like I can?”

No one could see how your nails dug into your bicep, nails so sharp you knew it would pierce your skin. Pain. It grounded you, saved you from slipping into memories of that night, and kept your face stoic when all you wanted to do was scream.

*

As Carol recognized the true strength of her powers, she practiced keeping her emotions in check. Anger was powerful. Her rage could bring down skyscrapers, collapse entire planets, and turn the milky way into chaos if she wasn’t careful. Through her space travels, she witnessed horrible injustices that boiled her blood, ground her teeth, and left her fuming. Still, she kept her anger in check. However, she was struggling. The way this pig spoke to you was disgusting and vile, and you were just taking it. The only time Carol saw you move was when you first entered the room. She wasn’t sure if you were still breathing.

Unlike you, Natasha couldn’t stop pacing. She would get to one side of the viewing room, turn around, and repeat the process. Not even Maria could get her to stop; Carol believed it had to do with Natasha still being upset with her girlfriend. The youngest of the trio was quiet, playing with the ring all three of you shared. A quiet Yelena was never good, in Carol’s opinion. She saw the blonde tense up every time the man said something about her sister. Andrei laughed. “Why don’t you undo these cuffs? We can put on a show one more time before the cart me away. If I remember correctly, zaychonok (bunny), you loved having an audience,” he groaned, eyes rolling in the back of his head. “My little slut. It got you so wet.”

“I’m gonna kill him,” Carol mumbled. All she saw was red. Unlike before, no one was there to protect you; no one was there to tell him to stop. But she was here now. You were hers to protect. She felt her powers itching at the palm of her hands, begging to let loose. It was getting harder to control it, this anger growing inside her. She knew he was still taunting you; maybe she heard Natasha or Maria’s voice, but it was becoming white noise. All of it was pointless besides one singular thought. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” To her surprise, no one stopped her when she left the room.

*

The door busting open startled you. The hinges barely had enough strength to keep it upright as your girlfriend entered the interrogation room, eyes glowing. Andrei was pulled to his feet and pinned to the wall by her forearm. You saw her entire body shaky. “Oh, is this the pet’s new master,” he teased. There was a shake in his voice as Carol was cutting off air into his lungs. “Tell me, do you pass her around like her old master, or do you keep her to yourself?”

“If you say one more word,” she hissed. “I will crush your windpipe.” You stood up, barely making a sound, but Andrei saw you.

“Oh, this is your lover, isn’t it?” He laughed, gasping slightly. “I’m jealous,” he taunted. “She is a gem—a queen among women. Tell me,” he whispered. “Can you make her scream like I can?”

“I won’t hesitate to paint this wall red with your blood,” you wanted her to do it so this nightmare could end. But it wasn’t the mission. “You can’t hurt her,” Carol continued, putting more pressure on his neck. The man gasped. “She is mine to protect, and I will kill all of you if I have to to keep her safe.” The man smiled, and for the first time entering this room, a chill went down your spine.

“Oh, you think with her living with Earth’s mightiest heroes, she’ll be safe; you are wrong.” Got him. It only took Carol intervening, but he was ready to talk. Gently, you placed a hand on Carol’s shoulder. Her eyes flickered to you.

“It’s okay,” you forced a smile. “Let him go.” You saw the internal debate happen in her eyes. Soon, she released him and threw him back into the chair.

“Power dynamic,” he said, rubbing his throat. A bruise was already forming. “I guess I was wrong about you two.” You sighed and sat down, this time closer to the table. Carol closed the door but stayed in the room, standing in the corner. Your arms were still crossed, and your nails again found the indent in your arm. “You got yourself an impressive guard dog over there. She needs a lesson in obedience.”

“I don’t own her, and she doesn’t own me,” you said. “Who helped you avoid detection after all this time?” He gasped.

“I’m offended you don’t think I could do it alone.”

“You aren’t smart enough, Lebedev,” you deadpanned. “So give me names, or my guard dog will attack.” His eyes glanced at Carol in the corner, and you saw him gulp in fear. Instead of talking, he leaned forward, faces inches apart, and you could feel his breath on your skin. A sharp pinch of your skin kept you present.

“Answer me this, kotenok (kitten). Do you feel safe here?”

“Is that a threat?” You countered.

“Merely a question,” he said. “Do you feel safe here with your sisters close by, Captain America as an ally, and Tony Stark’s super fancy AI keeping watch?” He slammed his hands down, but the sound didn’t scare you. Your nails dug deeper. “Do you feel safe?” He asked again. “Because Oriel Sergeev wasn’t the only person upset when the Red Room fell from the sky.” Oriel Sergeev? He was the man who created that ‘fun’ room.

“Who is helping you?” You asked again. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in the chair.

“I don’t kiss and tell; you should know that. The Red Room provided stability, a balance, and you and those cunts you call sisters broke it,” your jaw clenched. He huffed out a laugh at your reaction. “It’s only a matter of time before bad girls like you get punished.”

*

You watched Maria and a few other agents lead Andrei to transport. A body collided with you that almost sent you falling to the ground, but Carol’s arm kept you upright. It was Yelena. Her jasmine scent perfume invaded your senses, grounding you further. “Ugh,” you groaned. “I hated that. I hated the way he talked to you.” You chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

“You aren’t the only one,” Natasha said, and you looked past Yelena as the redhead joined the small group. “Carol beat me to it. I was about to go in there and kick his ass.” You heard Carol laugh behind you, kissing the side of your head. “Are you okay?”

“I’m,” you stopped before you lied to them. “No, but I will be,” you sighed, ending the hug with Yelena. “I think I need a shower, then I’ll start feeling better.”

“Do you want me to join you?” Carol asked. You shook your head.

“I just need a moment by myself,” you smiled. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” As you turned to walk back to your room, Yelena grabbed your hand. Spinning you back around and flipping your arm to show everyone the cut on your arm.

“Your bleeding,” she said, and you pulled your arm back.

“It’s nothing, and it will heal by the time I get in the shower,” you saw the unasked questions from all three of them. “I needed to ground myself when I was in there with him. That’s all. I promise I’m okay, and I’ll come to you guys if I need anything.”

*

A towel was tightly secured around your body as you stepped out of the bathroom. You hated the way his words crawled underneath your skin. No matter how frequently you scrubbed your skin raw, you felt his hands on you. There was a part of you that wanted to track down his escort van and kill him, to watch his blood stain the pavement. Or maybe have Melina take care of it. But you knew if one of the Widows took the job, it would get traced back to you. Still wet from the shower, you sat on your bed and picked up your phone. The number you dialed wasn’t saved in your phone. It was a number you had memorized as Widows kept giving it to you. She answered on the second ring. “My favorite Black Widow,” she said. “What do I owe the pleasure? Have you considered my offer?” You sighed.

“No, Valentina, I’m still not joining your team. I need a favor.” You were speaking as you could hear cars driving by.

“I’m not a charity, darling. Favors will cost you/” You nodded.

“I know, and I’m willing to pay for it,” you stood up and walked into your closet. “I need to put on a hit. His name is Andrei Lebedev. He is currently in SHIELD custody and on his way to the RAFT. I need it done without using any of the Widows you have employed, and not a single agent hurt.” Valentina laughed.

“You are making a lot of demands for someone not in charge,” you dropped the towel and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

“I always repay my debts, you know this?” This wasn’t the first time you’ve asked a favor from her. Her contacts ran deeper than Melina’s, and in this world, information was valuable. But you knew she would do it and come back to you when she needed something. The Widows that worked for her always told you what they did. You had enough dirt to bury the director, but it would hurt your fellow Widows.

“This will cost you, but I’ll get it done.”

“Thank you.”

“Aw, don’t go getting soft on me,” you rolled your eyes. “My offer is always on the table for you. That will never expire,” you huffed.

“Bye, Valentina.” You hung up the phone before she could respond. You refused to join her every time she asked, even when she proclaimed how much money you could make with your skill set. You feared it would be impossible to say no to her one day.

Two days passed when Maria announced that Andrei Lebedev was killed; no agents were hurt in the ambush. The agent’s eyes never left yours when she told everyone the news. Maybe it was bad you didn’t care if she believed you or not when you claimed you had no part in his death—effortlessly passing blame to whoever helped him. His death was one you never lost sleep over. Like you told Steve, these men were better off dead.

[normal-internet-user]

Okay, so can you do like a day in a life for child reader and bayverse tmnt (okay so I kinda want to see how they would react to y/n being the same height as the turtles

Also have a good day / night absolutely love your work 😄❤️👍

I actually really like writing sibling reader, I always giggle to myself while I'm writing this stuff, thank you for the request @bubbathebuzz 💕💕

DAY IN THE LIFE OF SIBLING READER

Where do I even begin to describe the chaos?

Every morning you are the first to wake up,

No matter what.

You even wake up before Leo.

How, none of them can figure out.

You beg to have a poptart for breakfast, and while you do get them occasionally, someone will ususally make you eggs and toast.

It's just not healthy for a child your age to have poptarts for breakfast everyday.

After breakfast, the boys have training, depending on how Splinter feels that day determines the type of training.

Your favorite type of training is posture or balance training because Splinter gives you a stick and your job is to hit your brothers on the ankles with it.

That's why Splinter only has balance training on weekends,

Since you have school the rest of the week.

Speaking of, Donnie makes it a point to tutor and help you with your school.

Which is definitly part of the reason you're the smartest kindergardener your teachers have ever seen.

(My little sister came up with a headcanon and I just had to share it, Donnie gives you a broken keyboard just to make you think you're helping him with his work, and you won't realize that it was broken untill you're like, 17, and you'll realize your whole life was a lie.)

Ahem-

If you aren't at school, one of your brothers is always keeping you busy,

They found out the hard way that leavinga bored toddler to their own does not end well.

It will forever be known as the "Paintball Incident" and I refuse to elaborate any further on the subject.

Mikey likes to play video games with you,

Leo won't let you play any 'mature' games until your older, stuff like Call Of Duty or Tomb Raider,

So you guys usually play games like Mario Kart, Stardew Valley, and Minecraft.

As it turns out, you are incredible at Mario Kart and are currently the house champion, and no one knows how tf you keep winning.

The entire fam goes into slight denial when you start growing up.

They kinda forgot you wouldn't stay small and wholesome forever,

So when you get to the age of, well, angstyness, shit gets wild.

Backtalk, sneaking out, rolling your eyes, Leo does not appreciate the attitude.

You not directly a jerk to any of them, just alot more sarcastic than you used to be,

But most of the time you're a really good kid.

Good grades, you do good in training, always have your chores done,

The whole nine yards.

(You are Splinter's favorite by default)

You are decently close with April,

You have sleepovers at her apartment, and she'll take you out shopping sometimes,

She's like a breath of fresh air compared to the chaos that is the Lair.

Casey is like that cool uncle that lets you do stuff you probably shouldn't be doing,

Like try beer.

One time, you were spending the night at April's apartment during hockey season, and Casey was there so you could all watch the game together.

April got up to use the bathroom, and Casey used to opportunity to do cool uncle things and let you try some beer.

You did not like it.

You choked slightly as the taste caught you off guard, "That taste like shit." you coughed out.

Casey scoffed, "It's an aquired taste, smalls."

"Thats code for, 'It taste like shit'."

Kareoke night is a regular thing on Fridays.

It usually ends with you passed out on the couch and one of your brothers carrying you to bed.

But it's your favorite part of the week.

If you end up growing to be around the same height as the boys', they will literally hate it,

You used to be so small 🥺,

They think it's unfair that you didn't stay that way.

It hits Splinter particularly hard when he realizes you grew up,

Because the same thing happend with the boys'.

But no matter how old you are, he is more than willing to be your person to go to,

Even if you are grown up, he's still you're dad.

(He still sings you to sleep if you have a nightmare.)

When you start patroling with your brothers, they are fucking terrified.

You can get hurt, alot easier than any of them can, so it's only natural that they're nervous.

You don't have a protective shell like they do after all.

If you ever get hurt after a fight, they are fa-reaking out.

Donnie's got the med-kit and starts checking you for everything from a concussion to lung cancer,

Mikey's panicing in the backround, while Leo just paces dramatically,

And Raph is currently beating the shit out of whatever poor idiot decided to hurt you.

Word spreads quickly amongst the criminals of the city to not go anywhere near you should they encounter the turtles,

Lest the be in mortal danger.

All in all,

It's chaotic,

It's fun,

And you know for a fact you have a family to back you up in anything you do.

.........................................

Fun fun. I love writing this stuff, it's makes me giggles lol

[koitarou]

|| fatherhood. ||

girldad!kiyoomi x fem!reader; wc: 1.2k of pure struggle; cw: reader is not present in the picture, imagine whatever happened to her, mid 50s kiyoomi, sad ish?, im thawing out cut me some slack, kiyoomi is a gorl dad missing you a/n: fuck you kevin hart, i wanted to watch a comedy movie and not BAWL. alexa play daddy issues

Kiyoomi guesses it’s been a while since he has missed you. 

Kokomi takes up every minute, every second he has to offer— not that he minds it. Maybe sometimes he hates it, hates being so preoccupied with her that forgets to miss you. The last thing he wants to do is forget you, even when he is old enough that his already greying hairs start to fall out.

You’ve been gone for long enough that he has forgotten what you felt like in his arms, how you smelled when he hugged you close to his chest. He hates that his senses are giving up on him.

But he hasn’t forgotten everything about you. He hasn’t forgotten the way you rolled your eyes at him whenever you disagreed, how you always latched onto his arm whenever you got scared watching a horror movie, how you kissed his forehead twice for each mole he has— because she does the same.

Kiyoomi is glad to have Kokomi in his life because everytime he looks at her, he sees you. It’s not a stretch when someone asks if he misses you and he says no, because he never will. He might forget what you feel like but he will never forget you, the you who gave him the best gift in the world, his daughter, his baby. 

The more she grows up, the more she resembles you. As he grows older, he sees Kokomi growing older and it’s bittersweet. He’s proud of her for everything she’s achieved in her life and proud of himself for bringing up his amazing daughter. It was tough at first, balancing his career and her, but with everyone's help, it was possible. It takes a village to raise a child, but what good is a village if it has no head. That’s what he felt like when he was just starting out, he felt lost without you to help him. He had his team, his village, to support him through thick and thin but he used to miss you. 

As the team grew and so did your daughter, he realised everything was indeed good. He feels proud of them as well, Atsumu, Bokuto, Hinata, Komori, everyone. 

He likes to believe you would’ve been proud too— of Kokomi, of the team. 

But he especially misses you today. Seeing your daughter off to college, he remembers your face glowing when you used to talk about milestones of your baby’s life and her going to college.

“Kiyo, she’s gonna be amazing I know it.”

“Yes baby, she will be,” “You have to lay off her though.”

“What”

“I know you'll be crying the day she goes to college and fussing all over her. Ugh, especially with boys”

“No, I won’t. Except boys, I don’t trust those hormone ridden monsters”

“Of course you don't, darling. Because you never were one, right? You were a toddler and straight up went to being an adult.”

And then you rolled your eyes at him the same way Kokomi is doing right now, “Dad, I’m going to be honest with you, I can’t swear off boys. I just can’t–”

“Yes, you can. Promise me.”

“Dad—

“Promise me that you’ll be my little girl forever, never leaving me, ever.”

“We’re literally standing in front of my dorm room. You’re gonna have to leave at some point.” She narrows her eyes at him, still holding onto his hand.

He notices that. There were a lot of things he saw of you in her but she was his daughter too, he notices the way she’s picking at her nails, a nervous habit she’s has had ever since she was 5. She doesn’t want him to leave, not with the grip she has on his hand. 

“You know I am here for you, right?”

“Yes, dad and I love you too.” Never good at words but they both managed, understood each other even though you weren’t there to do the talking for him.

“He’s bein’ mean again, y/n!”

“Tsumu you know he doesn’t mean that, he appreciates the thought you put into this gift.” “Yeah, I’m surprised he could think at all”

“Kiyo!– Tsumu, he means it’s great, he’s just affectionately dumb.”

He takes in a deep breath, the tingling sensation at the back of his throat feels familiar and he lets out a chuckle because he’s really going to cry now. Standing at her dorm room’s door, his heart feels heavy, and he’s looking at her now, ready to start a new chapter of her life, all on her own.

He cups her face and plants a kiss on her forehead, “One for me–” He kisses her temple, his hand holding the back of her head as she reaches out for a hug, “–and one for mom.”

She’s holding onto him tightly now, her fists balled up with the back of his jacket balled up in her fists, she mumbles, “I’m gonna miss you so much, dad. Promise to visit me, please?” 

“Every weekend, Kokomi, I promise.” He smiles and wraps his arms around her, cradling her head as he lets his jacket soak up her tears. He feels happy and he knows you would’ve been happy too and that’s all he needs to know.

Kokomi starts to draw back but he tightens his grip on her, and with a shaky voice, he whispers, “Give your old man a few more minutes more, please sweetheart.” 

Kokomi hums and they both stand there silently, until she breaks the silence with a ‘hey dad?’ and this time Kiyoomi hums in response, pulling away to look at her and finally let go.

“Mom would’ve been really proud of you.” 

Oh.

Kiyoomi doesn’t realise he is crying until he tastes the salty tears in his mouth and Kokomi wipes his cheeks, “And I am proud too. One more thing–” With a smile as she goes on her tippy toes to kiss his moles, “–One from me and one from mom.” 

Kiyoomi guesses it’s fine he didn’t miss you a lot, he never had to.

“And dad?”

“You weren’t serious about the ‘here every weekend’ thing though, right?”

“How much do you wanna bet at least one of your uncles will be here every weekend?”

Kokomi begins to whine in defiance to his response but is interrupted by a wailing Atsumu rushing towards them with Hinata, Bokuto and Komori in hot pursuit.

“Our baby’s all grown up!” Atsumu cries from behind Kiyoomi, sniffling and pushing him out of the way as he rushes to bring Kokomi into a bear hug and pats her head rather desperately, “Don’t forget about us, yeah?? And don’t forget us, we’re all here for ya. Also boy’s are disgustin’, ya won’t like ‘em anyways–”

“Why’s everyone obsessed with tha-”

In a flash, she’s squashed between 4 middle aged men bawling their eyes out and preaching they’re thoughts and views and promising to lay their lives down for her as she starts tearing up with them, telling them to take care of each other as well as her father since she won’t be there everyday.

Looking at this scene, Kiyoomi thinks his village did just fine. Plus he guesses it’s okay he didn’t get to miss you a lot because he believes it’s better to never not stop thinking about someone than miss them.

And he thinks– no he knows, you’re proud of him.

☆⌒ (ゝ。∂) ©️ all credits belongs to @koitarou 2022, do not repost, modify or translate my work on any platform. Plagiarism is strictly forbidden.

☆reblogs, likes and comments are super appreciated!

[tojikai]

Permanent Mark IX: Mistakes

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings:  pregnancy, mentions of abortion, insecurities, mentions of cheating

Series Masterlist

“Sometimes, our mistakes come back to haunt us...”

“You don’t plan on working for your parent’s company?” Satoru asked you as you played with his hair. He’s laying on his stomach with his head on your chest, and his fingers caressing your thighs. It was raining outside and the sky looked so dark yet the brightness in his eyes as they bore into yours lit up every corner of your bedroom. It’s been 6 months since you started dating officially and the other day, your parents came over, accidentally meeting him for the first time.

They got a bit upset that you didn’t even tell them that you were in a serious relationship, especially your Mom who almost did an in-depth, complete background check on Satoru. You remember how she once told you that if you were going to get into a relationship, especially if it’s a serious one, make sure that your partner will not cause any shame or taint your name and the company. She can’t have you marrying ‘just anyone.’

You hated how they always tell you what they want you to do yet never took the time to actually educate and look after you. You understand that they have been letting you off the hook for a long time now, allowing you to sit and look pretty even after you graduated college but you see it as them putting everything first before you. Your plan was to at least start a family of your own, and take care of your kid before you dedicate yourself to building the company because you know that once your mom gets her grip on you, it won’t be easy to get away from her.

“No. Not now.” You traced the bridge of his nose, making his eyes flutter shut. You admired him; even with the turmoil inside your mind, you always made space to marvel at his beauty. “I thought she was going to ask me to draw my family tree.” Satoru laughed, kissing the valley of your breasts, coaxing you to join him. It’s still fun now because it hasn’t happened yet but knowing how far your mom can go, it’s not a laughing matter at all. Your mother is not a bad person, just a…bad parent. She thinks of you as a pawn for her company, making sure that you’re suited for it when the time comes.

That’s quite contrary to how your Dad treats you. He’s responsible for the freedom that you’re having, and even if he’s not always with you, he never forgets to call you or check on you. You understand that what your mom is doing is because of all the things she wants to reach and prove to everyone. You just happened to be included in the materials that she needed to accomplish them, unfortunately. And you didn’t realize that it will comprise your personal and private life even as you grow older and become your own person.

“There’s nothing you can do. Abort it. Or you won’t get a single penny from us. I’ll throw you down with the regulars.” Your mother’s threats are not empty ones and you are sure of it. Even your dad turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed at her harshness. Not once has this been mentioned, no matter how badly you acted and no matter what you did.

“That’s too much. Your daughter’s already here and working. What more will you ask of her?” Your father finally spoke, obviously not agreeing with your Mom’s decision. Despite your mother’s attitude, they never fought much even when you were little. You used to think that maybe they’re just too busy with this company to even argue, but looking at it now, you can’t help but think that maybe it’s because your father always chose not to reason with her. Not getting anything from your Mom is not a problem, you have your dad. And it’s not like you couldn’t do anything either. Now that you have a real responsibility, you know you’d do your best to adjust. You can’t forever be like this, anyway.

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of them. Y/N and the baby.” Satoru swallowed thickly, thinking of a way to get you out of the situation without being disrespectful, even as your mom threw him a sharp look. “You literally dumped my daughter and now you’re telling me that you could take care of her? Boy, I don’t trust you one bit.” Your mother snarled, looking Satoru down. You felt him slightly flinch, floored by your mother’s brutal honesty. You remembered how you told them that Satoru broke up with you, but never mentioned that he cheated on you. You could only imagine how harsher your mother would be if she knew.

Satoru took a deep breath, obviously taken aback by your mother’s words. He could see how different you are from her. You can be stubborn at times but you never look at people in such a way that could make them question their worth. He glanced down for a second before standing straighter, squeezing your hand but before he could answer your mom, you decided that it wouldn’t lead the argument to a better path. The only way to settle this down is to let your mother know that you’re firm with your decision.

“I won’t do it, Mom. I’ll work with the regular employees if you want me to. But this is my kid, I decide what I will do with it.” Your voice was shaking but even so, you did your best to stand up to your mother who could only look at you with annoyance. For some reason, you cannot let go of the growing life inside you. Shoko already told you that you’d have to be smart with your decisions, especially when it involves the baby. She reminded you of the situation and you understand how heavy it is but it’s not enough to shut down the warmth of happiness that fills your chest every time you think about how it could change your life.

Maybe after all the wrong things that you’ve done, you could finally do something right.

“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into, Y/N?” Your mom sounded desperate as she sighed, shoulder slouching as her brows pulled up and bumped together. She looked more worried now than mad, like how she always gets when you get yourself into trouble. But this time, this is not mere trouble; it’s connected to you and your whole being. You know that you have another option and you're not overlooking that but right now, your choice is to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Mom." You took a deep breath as you blinked three times in a row, preparing yourself for whatever consequence it is that you’d have to face for being insolent after all the years of freedom that they have given you. You can see your mother shake her head as you look down at your feet. Satoru's body relaxed for a short while before he changed his stance, ready to leave.

"Are you two together again?" Your father asked, glancing at Satoru for a second before looking back at you. Your father’s not showing any signs of hostility towards Satoru and you know that it’s only because he has no idea why you broke up. You shook your head before your ex could answer and you could almost hear him sigh. You know that he's still hoping even if he wasn't telling you. But you're done with all of this. You cannot have yourself overthinking about the sturdiness of the relationship when it's built up on its own ashes after it burnt down to the ground.

"No. But he wants to be present—" Before you could finish, your mother's already cutting you off, her anger skyrocketing once again as she hears you make excuses for the man who carelessly stomped on your heart. "Then where will it lead you? You'd only end up falling back in the palm of his hand even if you don't want it. You know better than to settle for someone who'd throw you away so easily." Satoru winced, remembering how your mother refused to talk to him properly at the hospital if not for the sake of her image.

"You don’t understand, Mom." You exhaled, not caring if your voice broke. This situation is too much for you. The only preparation you made was about the baby. You didn't think they’d interrogate you about your relationship with Satoru too and you blame yourself for it. You should’ve known that they’d ask about the father if you tell them that you’re keeping it. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself that you purposely avoided thinking about what’s going to be the agreement between you and Satoru. You don’t want that kind of topic because it only reminds you that your child might never have a whole family and it’s breaking you.

“Just know that I’m not taking any of my words back.” Your mother held her head high despite the prominent frustration on her face. You can see your father reaching over to rub her back but she quickly turned to make an exit. You didn’t expect your mother to back down quickly, but you thought that maybe she was thinking about your state too. Your father shook his head, deep in thought as you felt Satoru’s hold on your hand loosen up a bit as he turned to you to scan your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, not letting go of your hand before he looked over to your father when he heard you hum. He was probably thinking of how to excuse the two of you to leave. It was eerily quiet and you could only watch your shadows on the tiled floor as you replayed the previous scene in your head. You unconsciously reached to pat your stomach, wondering if it could also feel the quick beats of your heart.

“If you need anything you can call, Y/N. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d have to beg—” Your father was interrupted by Satoru as he stepped forward, “It’s okay. I…I won’t make her do something like that. I’m just…just owning up to my mistakes.” Your father probably thought that you had to ask Satoru to stay with you for the sake of your child. You understand if he thought that it was the case. After all, what they know is that Satoru was the one who left. Knowing how they view you, your parents most likely assumed that it was you who made a problem.

“Why did you leave my daughter?” Your eyes widened when you heard how your father asked Satoru so directly. In an instant you were holding his arm, pulling him back as you tried to put your thoughts together to make an excuse for what happened. “We fell out of love.” You quickly answered, making Satoru look at you with a puzzled look. You cannot let your parents know. Not when you’re having a kid with him. You know that the baby is just as important to you as it is to Satoru and you could only think of how your parents would probably try to keep it away from him if they found out.

No matter how you think of it. You don’t think it will be fair to him if they step over his rights of being a father to his own child.

“I…I feel sick. C-can we go now?” You added quickly, squeezing Satoru’s arm tightly but not letting your father notice it. You hate to lie to him but this is for the better. It’d only cause more chaos if they found out. Your biggest fear is not raising your child with separated parents but it is raising your child without even knowing who his or her father is. “Do we need to go to the doctor?” Satoru held you by your arms, letting you lean on him, unaware of what you were trying to do. You simply shook your head and looked at your father who was already on his feet, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Sit here, I’ll call a doctor.” You almost cursed when he spoke the idea but instead, you shook your head, insistent on just leaving before everything gets worse, “No. Maybe I just need to rest. Can we just go home?” Your eyes flicked between your father and Satoru. You felt bad that you were worrying them but what else could you do?

”Alright, uhm…I’m sorry for what happened.” Satoru spoke to your father, not really knowing what to say after the situation with your mom. You could see your father shaking his head at him, “Just make sure she’s safe. Y/N, call me. You know your mother’s just like that but she loves you.” He reminded you, walking closer to give you a hug. You only nodded your head, feeling your father rub your back to comfort you. “I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry.” You pulled away with a hum, stepping away to let Satoru once again support your body.

It felt like all the tension escaped your body the moment you heard Satoru bid goodbye to your father. You could feel your muscles loosening as you quietly sighed in relief, letting your ex walk you out of your Mom’s office. You heard your fingers crack as you clenched your fists when you stepped into the elevator. It was the same elevator you and Rie talked in and you couldn’t help but flinch at the memory.

“How are you feeling? Your father was right, we should see a doctor.” Satoru tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you pressed your lips together. You suddenly thought of what it’d be like if you were to run into Rie here. If you get stuck in the same room as them, you'd claw your way out of the walls just to run. It’s almost as if your heart was reminding you that he’d never choose you over her.

He’d only choose you if she wasn’t one of the choices. Your lips twitched downwards as you looked away, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

"What are you thinking about?" He spoke in a soft voice beside you, watching your face in an attempt to read whatever is bugging you. "Nothing important." You took a deep breath, blinking fast as you shook your head. Out of all the times that you've been in this elevator, this is the slowest ride so far. Satoru took a step closer to you and you can tell that he just wants to get out of the building as well by the way he keeps shifting his weight on his two feet. Halfway down, someone got in and you had to force a smile and a greeting as countless thoughts run inside your mind.

The moment the elevator door opened to the lobby, Satoru was already guiding you out. His hand was resting on the small of your back as you tried to look calm even with the quick big strides that you were making. It felt like the building was slowly closing in on you. Like it's starting to get smaller and narrower the longer you stay inside it. You don't know if anyone heard what happened inside your mother's office but you thought that it's best if you avoided everyone's eyes.

You didn't know that among those eyes that are watching you walk down that building with the father of your child are the eyes of a woman whose heart you also ruined. Rie watched from afar as you and Satoru strode past the glass doors before making a turn to where his car was parked, wondering how you are walking so casually with him as if the guy didn't betray your trust and crush your soul.

"That's the boss's daughter. You know her?" The woman dropped the stack of paper in front of her as she shook her head, not wanting to associate herself with Y/N anymore. But Satoru, he still got her heart thumping. Even after he spilled everything to Rie about why he wanted to leave her, she still couldn’t help but hope that maybe he’d come back. Maybe he’s just guilty, maybe he just felt bad for what he did to you.

“Are those the papers I signed earlier? Why are you doing this in the lobby?” Your mother’s voice suddenly boomed behind Rie. Stepping back a bit to the side, she made way for her as she checked the papers. “I was just helping her sort it out, ma’am since I don’t have much work in my hands.” The employee answered, watching the way your mom’s eyes scanned the documents for a bit before they turned to Rie. The woman’s features are strong yet beautiful, they’re nothing similar to yours. It only led Rie to the conclusion that you must look like your father. You look a lot less fierce than your mother. Rie bowed her head a bit when her eyes swept her up and down.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Rie smiled politely, greeting your mother as she turned to face her fully. To be honest, Rie was a bit nervous when talking to her because of how serious she always seemed. She could already tell why you can’t stand living in the same house as her but what Rie couldn’t understand was how you weren’t scared enough to follow every word she says. But then again, parents—no matter how strict they are, have the tendency to spoil their children. And you’re an only child. It’d only make sense if you grew up getting everything you want even just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

“Do you…” Rie isn’t dumb. She’s aware of the possibility that you might’ve told your mother about her already. The question is: which version did you tell about her? The woman who your boyfriend cheated on you with? Or the woman your ex-boyfriend cheated on with you? Either way, Rie knows that she’s not winning because this is your mom. There’s no way she’d take into consideration that Rie got betrayed too.

“Do you happen to know my daughter?” Your mother continued, almost confirming Rie’s initial thoughts about you telling her your story. “A friend? A former classmate?” She inquired further, doing her best to plaster a friendly smile on her face. She notices how Rie looks so tense just by talking to her. It was a harmless question really, but after talking to so many people all her life, negotiating and sealing deals, your mother could easily read someone’s expressions and actions.

“Not really, ma’am. Just…through an acquaintance. I knew her through an old high school classmate.” Rie smiled, enveloping her right hand with her left just to check the temperature, something she does out of habit when in such situations. She can see your mother nod before her eyebrows scrunched up as if she’s deep in thought, “The doctor?” Your mother tried to guess, referring to Shoko and Rie only nodded, not wanting to drag the conversation long. She’s already uncomfortable around your mother, and she made it worse by asking about you.

“I figured. She helped Y/N a lot when she was at the hospital.” I know that. I was one of the reasons why that happened to your daughter. Rie’s eyebrows furrowed for a second at the thought. She remembered seeing Shoko with your parents in the waiting room when they got there, it felt like everything happened only yesterday. She realized that her romance with Satoru was cut too fast and too short. It still stings but she knows that she’d take him back in an instant if he ever changes his mind.

“So, you know Satoru too? And the tattoo artist.” Rie almost wondered if your mother was a mind-reader. An annoying one. “Y/N said they’re classmates.” She tapped her long nails at the top of the marble table. It sounded like the ticking of the clock and it all felt like a time-gated interview that would cost her something if she didn’t answer on time. She nodded again, avoiding your mother’s eyes as she pursed her lips. She can see her nod from the corners of her eyes.

“Oh well, you guys do what you should be doing. I’ll get going now.” Rie almost let out a sigh of relief as she heard the clacking of her heels fade away into the distance. She can hear her friend giggling as she closedsher eyes, taking a deep breath. She really thought that she was going to confront her about you. Even if she knew that you and your mother were not that close, she’s also aware that your mother would do anything to make sure that you’re not being stepped on.

“You know Miss Y/N?” Her friend asked, placing the papers in front of Rie. “Not personally. The guy with her is an old friend.” Rie followed the direction where your mother went, both curious and scared as to why she’s intrigued by her. “Ah, I see. Miss Y/N’s nice. She only started training and working here a couple of weeks ago.” Shaina smiled at Rie which she returned with a forced one.

“That man’s her ex. But I heard he’s trying to win her back even though he dumped her for someone else not long ago. At least that’s what the rumors here say. Don’t mention it to anyone.” Shaina hushed, eyes darting around to check their surroundings. Rie could only block out all the compliments her friend was saying about you. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to know about your life. She’s still not over everything and to see you looking so okay with Satoru following you around didn’t help at all.

It wasn’t the kindest thought but how else is she going to feel when you’re the reason why she’s hurting? She still regrets letting Satoru go with you that day.

_______________________________________

“Thank you, I’ll just call you when I need something.” You murmured as you reached for your seatbelt before Satoru beat you to it. His brows furrowed at your words, “I can’t leave you, you’re not feeling well. What if something happens to you and the baby?” He slouched in his seat, eyeing you through the rearview mirror. As much as possible, you still try to keep your distance from Satoru, constantly reminding yourself that whatever you’re doing right now is just for the sake of the life that you two made. Nothing more.

You know that what your mother said is not impossible. Being with him can only make you fall back into him.

“I lied. I just wanted to leave.” You told him directly, watching as his mouth slightly opened at your confession. You fidgeted with your fingers before clicking your tongue and reaching for the door. “Are you sure? I can stay with you, my work can wait—” Satoru was cut off when you let out an annoyed sigh as you turned your head to the window. “We don’t live together, Satoru. You stay with me for the baby but that doesn’t mean that you can just go in and out of my flat as you please. You’re not my boyfriend.” You opened the door to step out, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

Satoru had to stare at your back as you walked inside your building, throbbing pain in his chest and a tight feeling in his throat. This wasn’t new to him ever since he tried to win you back but it still hurt. It’s been something that he’s kept in him for so long because he knows that he doesn’t have the right to complain but these days, Suguru has more access to you and your everything than him. It hurts to see that everything that he’s lost is now seemingly making its way to somebody else.

Satoru doesn’t know the depth of what you two share but he’s aware of how deep Suguru’s feelings go for you are. He doesn’t know what happened on all those nights that you were needing him but Suguru was the one beside you. He doesn’t know anything about the two of you anymore and it scared him. It’s like karma biting him back in the ass twice as hard after what he pulled on his best friend five years ago.

“Suguru, you free?” He spoke on the phone, looking again at the number that he unknowingly dialed as he looked at the doors of your apartment building. He hoped that you’d step out of it and take back everything you said and instead ask him if he wanted to stay. He knows that you’re still upset about what happened earlier and Satoru wants nothing but to erase all those thoughts from your mind. But how is he gonna do that when you locked him out?

“I’m about to close the shop, why?” He can hear Suguru doing something in the background. Satoru needs to talk about it all or he’ll end up losing his mind. If he finds out anything that would destroy him then he’d let it destroy him. It’d be unfair if he were to counter it when he’s the one who caused it. He’s left with no other option but to stay quiet and understand.

“Let’s go out for a drink. Y/N’s mad at me.” Satoru chuckled at the ache in his chest. It’s not the ‘You annoy me’ type of mad but the ‘I can’t stand being in the same place as you.’ type of mad that you’re feeling for him. It’s agonizing to think that the person who used to love him with all her heart and more is now closing herself away from him.

He can’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself from him.

“She always is.” The sound of the door slamming shut can be heard from Suguru’s line and Satoru took it as a cue to start his car again. “Alright, let’s just meet there, send me the place.” Suguru continued and Satoru could only hum, and thank him for agreeing. He quickly sent him a message before proceeding to drive. It was a cold and silent war the two of you are going through. Satoru has his white flag raised high but still, he continues to charge toward you, wanting nothing but to be on the same side as you again.

Reaching the pub, Satoru was thinking of how to ask the question in his head without aggravating the other. It’s been there for weeks now, and now that he’s seeing that his situation with you is not improving at all, he knew he had to talk to his friend. There are times when you’d call Suguru when he’s around and he feels like a third wheel; like he’s listening in on a conversation spoken in a language that the two of you understand.

He asked Shoko about it already but the only answer that he got was “We stayed with her when you were gone.” but it was never about Suguru alone. She’s the on who suggested Satoru talk to the two of you but he doesn’t want to stress you with that. If there’s something that you aren’t telling him, then it’s fine. He won’t force you to tell him, like you said, you’re only letting him in because of the baby.

“Hey,” He tapped Suguru’s shoulder as he walked by him to sit on the other side. He looked around, licking his lips as he nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as crowded as he expected it to be. He still doesn’t know how to talk to Suguru about this. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he was so insistent on knowing about it. It’s not like it would change anything. A positive and negative response is just equal at this point.

“How’s Y/N?” Suguru pulled up his sleeve, leaning on his elbow as he pushed the drink he ordered for his friend. He’s got a feeling that this hang-out isn’t just for catching up. Eyeing his best friend and his stance, he could tell that he was about to ask him something. Spending more time with you brought you, him, and Shoko closer together; him especially. You were close before but now, it feels as if he’s seen everything already. In a span of two months, you made him feel as if he’s been missing you his whole life.

It was like you were making up for the lost time that he was supposed to be with you.

“She’s doing good. I just dropped her home.” Satoru scratched his head as he chuckled mirthlessly before proceeding, “She locked me out again.” He shook his head, before looking up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He can tell that he feels sorry for him. He’s looking at him with sympathy, probably thinking if he should tell him words of comfort or just say ‘you had it coming.’ But instead, he just sighed and took a gulp of his drink.

“You know it’s not going to be easy.” Suguru shook his head, leaning back as he traced the body of his glass, there was a short moment of silence before Satoru’s deep intake of breath cut through it, “I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” Suguru felt bad for his friend. He knows that what he did was wrong and the damage he had caused to you may be beyond repair but the way he’s dedicating his everything just to be with you again when there is no certainty is undeniably admirable.

“You’re gonna ask me something,” Suguru stated rather than ask. It only made Satoru smile, chuckling as he nodded his head signaling that Suguru’s assumption was right. Suguru doesn’t plan on lying about anything. You two already talked about what happened, you didn’t try to deny it or even ignore it. If anything, the day after that, you both opened it up to each other.

“It wasn’t a mistake, I know what I was doing.”  You plopped down on your couch in front of him as he tried to predict what you were thinking. Suguru was aware too but the thing about intoxication is you don’t really have enough control over your body. Especially when you’re hurting. And also when he’s pining. Your desire to forget and his suppressed feelings for you were intensified by the alcohol and that’s why it happened.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong-” He started, leaning his elbow on his knees as he heard you sigh, clicking your tongue as you put down your cup. “Stop blaming yourself, I let it happen too.” You closed your eyes, thinking of how it would affect Satoru when he finds out. Sure, he cheated on you. And yes, you’re not together anymore but Suguru is still his best friend. Betrayal is betrayal and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, you know that its consequences are bound to catch up to you— even if you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt him when something happened between you and Suguru—if you don’t fail to make things right..

“If he asks you about it, don’t lie.” You swallowed, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “I’d tell him about it, I just have to figure out how.” You added and it only made Suguru wonder if you’d take it all the way with him if he asked you to. He wondered if you’d agree to be with him if he told you how he feels for you. But he won’t. He already feels like he took advantage of you because of what happened. Acting on his selfish feelings will only prove how bad of a friend he is to Satoru and to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was less drunk, I should’ve—” Another click of your tongue made Suguru stop yet again. You sighed as you stared at him, shaking your head, “I told you not to blame yourself. I initiated it.” You reminded him, but it only made him feel more guilty, thinking that he should’ve never given in. No matter how much control he lost over himself. As if that was an easy thing.

“I was thinking of telling him about it already, you know?” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers as you recalled your thoughts earlier before you and Suguru decided to talk. “But I realized, it’s not like we started dating. And it’s not like he’s still my boyfriend either.” You explained, glancing up at him just to see his reaction because you’re not really sure if you’re making sense. “But then again, he’s still your friend. It’d be even more disrespectful if we tried to hide it from him. We’re gonna have to tell him about it soon.”

Suguru nodded as he looked at you, your eyes glued on the carpeted floors as worry and disappointment became more prominent in your features with each passing second. Suguru knows that Satoru is more than curious about what happened while he was gone. His ex-girlfriend spent time with his best friend almost every day. If Suguru was in his place, he’d probably worry about it too. It’s not like there was no trust in their friendship. But knowing that your best friend used to harbor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and probably still does, is something that could create such thoughts.

The plan to confess everything to Satoru didn’t change, but your pregnancy happened and all of a sudden it’s the least important thing. So many things were changing and taking place that your initial plan to talk to Satoru got buried under them all. Suguru can almost see the consequences of that negligence right now.

“You still have feelings for Y/N?” He asked casually as if he wasn’t bouncing his leg up and down under the table due to anxiousness. He took a big gulp of his drink, preparing himself for whatever answer he may get. Satoru promised himself that he wouldn’t start a fight. That’s why he chose this space, thinking that maybe it could help him keep his emotions in check. But obviously, Suguru knows him better than that.

“I’m going out for a smoke. We should talk outside.” He stood up from his seat, not waiting for Satoru as he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Satoru stared at the back of his head as he followed like he was trying to read his thoughts, desperate for answers as the long walk to the parking lot burned his patience. Suguru went to the farthest end, near the fence where no one could hear them. Had Satoru known that he’d be like this about it, he would’ve met him somewhere else instead.

“Why won’t you just say it to me? Something happened, right?” Satoru clenched his teeth as he watched Suguru pause his movements before putting the cigarette packet back in his pants. He couldn’t even bother to smoke now that he can feel his best friend’s rising temper. He wanted to protect Satoru’s feelings and you from whatever he might say or do if Suguru admits the truth. But it was like he can almost hear your voice, reminding him to just say the truth instead of stacking up the lies.

“Yeah.” Satoru’s hand clenched as he looked away, swallowing away his wrath as the images of you and Suguru doing it in the bed you once shared played before his eyes. Did you think like this when he was away with Rie too? It’s driving him insane. The thought of it, the idea of it was squeezing his heart, shattering his very core as strings of whispered curses rushed past his lips. Satoru can almost hear your voice calling out Suguru’s name and he can already taste the blood in his mouth.

“When?” Satoru tried to keep his voice calm but failed. There was a big difference in the lighthearted tone of his voice from when he was talking inside the bar to now. “How and why did it happen?” Every word that comes out of his mouth keeps getting louder but Satoru cannot control it. Not when the thoughts of someone else making you feel the same way he did was racing inside his head. “I know I’m not her boyfriend anymore, but what the fuck, Suguru?”

Satoru was panting as he spoke the last part. He can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he clenches them. He waited for his friend to answer, patiently and then, impatiently. He doesn’t know when he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, quickly grabbing his collar to pull him harshly. Satoru’s eyes were blown wide as he breathed heavily, eyes full of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

“It happened sometime after you tried to get back with Y/N. She was drunk and I was too.” Suguru started, eyebrows furrowed as he remained unmoving even as Satoru’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He’d seen this coming. Of course, he’d get angry. Finding out that your ex did something like that with your best friend is revolting. Some may even consider it unforgivable. Suguru is in the wrong this time and he’s got no plans but to own up to them. No matter how shitty Satoru treated Y/N, he still doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

“And you never told me? I asked you multiple times if there’s something going on between the two of you.” Satoru’s teeth started to tingle from how hard he was clenching his jaw and grinding his molars together. It was starting to get painful and he could feel his hands get colder as his knuckles started to feel numb from the friction with the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“I’m sorry—” Suguru was cut off by a punch from Satoru as he briefly let go of his shirt before pulling him back again, slamming his body against his as he let out all his frustrations through his words, shaking his friend as he glowered at him with bloodshot eyes, red with anger and the strain from fighting back his tears. Suguru couldn’t bring himself to punch back but instead just let his friend shake an answer out of him.

“Did you plan this?”, “Is this Y/N’s way of getting back to me?”, “Will you ever tell me if I didn’t ask?” The questions kept pushing their way out of Satoru’s lungs, taking his breath away with them, and leaving him panting. “What did you do? Tell me everything.” Satoru glared directly at Suguru who was now wiping the blood off his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he hung his head down in shame.

“I…I touched her.” Suguru started but was quickly cut off by Satoru’s growl, “How?” He tried to steady his breaths as he took a step away from his best friend as if controlling himself not to throw another hit on him for the sake of the answers that he was trying to get out of him. It was hard. Especially when the images of the woman you love being pleasured by someone else keep flickering before your eyes.

“We didn’t do it, Satoru. I touched her but she didn’t touch me. I left before something worse could happen—” Curses flew out of Satoru’s mouth as if Suguru just gave him the dumbest explanation ever. “You think that changes anything?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes are now more sad than angry. Satoru shook his head, mouth twitching as he backed away, letting go of Suguru’s shirt.

“Were you just waiting for me to fuck up before you pull some shit like this?” Satoru chuckled, looking at Suguru like he just caught up on his plans but Suguru knew that it was nonexistent. What happened between the two of you just happened. He’d never plot something like this against his friend. He’d never thought of it. No matter how much he wanted you, he never wished ill about your and Satoru’s relationship.

“I wouldn’t do that to you—” Suguru was once again interrupted when Satoru grabbed his shirt again, with both hands this time. “But you did! You know how vulnerable she was!” Suguru flinched, his brows pulling together as he let his friend let all his anger out. He cannot blame Satoru for thinking that way. Suguru knows damn well that anyone who’d hear the story would think that he took advantage of you and the situation you were going through.

“Did you think it would make her love you? Did you think that after all these years, that’s all it would take to make her love you?” It was painful to hear those words because Suguru knows the answer to them. Not once has he and Satoru talked about their feelings for you even if it was not a secret to them and Shoko. “Don’t think that just because I fucked up, you can love her more than I do. You cannot take my place, Suguru. You weren’t even able to get her back then when we weren’t together, what makes you think you’d get her now?”

It was now Suguru’s turn to throw a strong punch at his friend, sending him staggering backward. To get angry at him for the betrayal that he did was one thing but to bring up the past that he was struggling to forget every day was another. Thoughts of what ifs and what could’ve been haunted him from the moment he gave you away. And to hear about it now is just another bullet in his heart. The first sentences were hurtful enough even though he knows that he deserved it.

“You know why she never fell for me!” Suguru spat back, panting as he stopped himself from throwing another punch. He should be the one being beaten because of what he did but he just can’t let it go. He’s been keeping it all to himself for the sake of his friendship with Satoru and you. Suguru decided that if he was going to remind him of it then, he might as well repeat to him why he got you too.

“I loved her first!” Suguru shouted, finally letting go of all the words that he’s been dying to say. In all those moments that you were with him, in every tear that he wipes away from your eyes part of him regrets just giving up on you. He couldn’t count how many times he wondered if surrendering was the right choice he made.

“I really like Y/N, you know?” Satoru threw the small pebble across the road, letting it tumble on the hot pavement before coming to a stop under the streetlight as it hit its pole. To be honest, Suguru doesn’t know how to respond to him and that’s why he kept quiet, waiting for Satoru to say more about his feelings for you. Suguru can already feel how complicated it would be if he told him his.

“And you do, too. Right?” Satoru chuckled, elbowing his side. Suguru looked at him, there was nothing but seriousness on his face. He can’t find it in himself to laugh when he’s aware of how profound his emotions toward you are. And knowing his friend, Satoru might downplay a lot of things but Suguru knows him too much to not understand the underlying meaning of his statements.

“I…” Suguru heard the air passing through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, Suguru didn’t like how he hesitated to tell him the story as if it was something so big of a deal. Satoru is a man who speaks his mind, so for him to pause before saying something to Suguru made him feel like he was about to open up about a serious topic.

“We…something happened between Y/N and I.” Satoru sounded very steady as he let the sentence flow out of his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been rehearsing just to tell Suguru. “Look, I’m not trying to one-up you or anything. It just happened, we were hanging out and you were busy.” Satoru turned his body to him. All of a sudden everything was just quiet. The distant sound of cars speeding down the empty street in the middle of the night was loud even if it was out of sight.

“You know I was trying to pursue her,” Suguru replied, sighing heavily as he untied his shoes just to do something with his hands. He felt helpless after what Satoru said and he was already subconsciously admitting his defeat. Satoru shifted beside him, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head slowly, making Suguru chuckle.

“I…You never told me. You didn’t tell her either. It was never confirmed, how am I supposed to know?” Satoru doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Suguru. He had a feeling that he liked Y/N more than others but he didn’t think that he was that serious about it. He cannot find it in himself to let you slip away too.

“Look, It wasn’t intentional. Had I known that you feel like that for her I would’ve—” Satoru turned his body to Suguru, stopping himself when he saw his best friend looking down. With his lips pursed, Suguru turned to Satoru. He was expecting him to have an angry look on his face, a look of betrayal. Satoru wanted him to be mad at him for being so careless with his feelings but Suguru just smiled at him. A light chuckle escaped his lips as he stood up, tapping Satoru’s shoulder in the process.

“It’s cool. I’ll get over it.” His hand instinctively reached out for the lighter in his pocket, pulling it out to play with it as silence took over everything. “Just…make her happy. Don’t play with her, Satoru.” Suguru glanced at him briefly over his shoulders. Satoru could only sigh as he watched Suguru’s back. He knows that Suguru is a nice guy, but he can’t help but feel like he should’ve been more observant of how he treated you.

“I know you’re thinking about giving way, Satoru. You can’t do that. It’ll only get awkward for the three of us; especially for Y/N, you know?” It took everything in him to make the conversation sound as light as it can be; in contrast with the heavy feeling in his chest—almost as if he was being dragged down by the ground. Almost as if it’s wanting to swallow him whole.

Happy crushes shouldn’t feel like this.

Just like back then, Satoru couldn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say when his best friend just slapped him with the truth that’s been lurking in his shadows all this time. He knows that he’s got no business talking about how Suguru wouldn’t get you when the only reason that kept him away from you was Satoru. Had his best friend not held back from you before, would you be stuck with him now? It’s almost as if it was a butterfly effect. Things wouldn’t be like this now if you were with the better man.

Satoru wouldn’t want to hear that from you, though. He doesn’t want to hear you regret not noticing his best friend first when he could’ve been the better option for you. Satoru would only get this selfish with you. Even when he doesn’t have the right to. It’s just too painful to think about how he’d probably never be enough for all the love that you are ready to give. He’s not worthy of it but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t work for years just to be deserving of it.

“Don’t tell me that you love her more, you’ve done too much to convince me of that,” Suguru added, wiping the corner of his mouth as he panted, calming himself down. To be perfectly honest, he was already over it all. He wasn’t praying for his best friend to fuck up just to get a chance with you. He loves you but he’s way past the stage of being jealous of Satoru. But it’d be a lie if he said he never wished it was him to sleep next to you during the first months of your relationship.

He just slowly got over it. Realizing that seeing you every day, smiling and fine is enough for him. Realizing that he’d be able to be close to you, to look after you, even as a friend is enough for him. But they were right. It’s easy to fall back in love with someone you already loved before—very easy.

Because if it’s not, he wouldn’t be putting his heart on the line, the moment Satoru messed with you. He wouldn’t be holding your hand as you fall asleep beside him at night, with tears streaming down your face as you whimper your heartbreaker’s name. He wouldn’t be breaking his barriers just to make sure you’re getting all the attention you need even if it means crushing his own heart again. Suguru isn’t dumb. He knows that you don’t plan on getting into anything serious with him but that became fine for him too. A sad reality that he woke up to every day but is only accepting today.

You only wanted the comfort and kindness that he gave you. But you never wanted his everything as you did with Satoru. Like he did with you.

You just didn’t want to be lonely, and he just happened to be there with you.

“I know I’m wrong, Satoru. It was a moment of weakness, what else can I do?” Suguru muttered, jaw clenching as his nails dug into his palm. “Bringing up the past wouldn’t fix it. I don’t even know how to make this shit up to you.” His voice almost broke at the last part.

Satoru just stood there, looking at him as a single tear rolled down to his chin. He quickly ran a hand through his face, sighing violently as he looked away from Suguru. It’s like a crash from the wrath that he was feeling earlier. It still hurts. Knowing about what happened that night is a thorn in his heart. Something that he wouldn’t bother to pull out even if it killed him—even if he was stepped on too.

Because if one looks closely and traces all the events that had happened and are happening now, he would always be the main cause.

It was his actions that led everything and all of you to this mess. Suguru watches as Satoru straightens his posture, running a hand through his hair as his lips quiver ever so slightly. “Was Y/N planning to tell me the truth?” Satoru spoke, turning to his right as his eyes looked straight ahead. There was nothing but sorrow in his light blue eyes as he bit his inner lip.

“Yes. It’s been bothering her but she cannot find the right time.” Satoru sighed loudly, nodding slowly as he slightly turned his head to look at the ground between him and Suguru. “Don’t stress her out because of this, if you’re mad just take it out on me,” Suguru added, worried that Satoru might confront you about it. “And don’t suspect her of anything else, Satoru. You know she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She’s pregnant with my child, what makes you think I’d do that to her?” Satoru emphasizes the term of possession. As if trying to prove something with it, when in reality, that’s just him reassuring himself. He’s agitated by the fact that Suguru could tell where his accusations are going. He pushed them all aside, not wanting to think like that about you.

“I know what’s good and bad for her,” Satoru added quietly, too drained to start anything again anymore. Suguru could only watch as Satoru walked away from him, quick to find his car and eager to go back to you.

—---------------------------

Three knocks at the door made Y/N’s eyes widen in shock as she looked back at it. Turning off the stove, she trudged towards the door but not before peeking through the hole. Seeing the father of the growing child in her womb, she opened the door. Her blank face faltered at the obvious redness of Satoru’s eyes.

“Why?” Y/N questioned but still stepped aside to let the man in. Satoru sighed at the warm air inside the room. It’s always warm near Y/N. He thought letting the comforting atmosphere that he was feeling despite the cold welcome that you gave him. It’s like he’s already contented to know that you are still letting him around you, to be near you even after all that he’s done. Maybe you’re only doing it for the sake of your baby but it still made Satoru hopeful.

“Nothing. I had a few drinks. Are you cooking?” Satoru gave a small smile as he stepped inside, peering at the kitchen as he changed the topic. He knows that you noticed but he can’t have you stressing about anything now. It’s not easy to hide the evidence of how much he poured his feelings out while he drove. Stopping at the dimly lit parts of the street just because he can’t see anything in front of him.

“Yeah.” You closed the door, not taking your eyes off of him as he walked to your kitchen, removing his jacket on his way to place it on the couch. Your eyes followed the clothing, staring at it blankly for a few seconds, before shaking your head, blinking as you snapped the thoughts out of your head.

“Why are you here?” You walked to the kitchen, seeing him turn the stove on again. He glanced at you briefly before focusing on the dish again. “I figured you’d probably want something to eat.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to sound collected. “I was thinking about calling you to ask if you want something but you don’t like fast food nowadays, right?” He smiled at you, tapping the spatula on the lip of the pan.

“M-hm.” You hummed pulling a chair out to sit, “Where were you?” You reached over to grab the apple sitting inside the basket in the middle of your kitchen table. You heard the stove turn off before Satoru laughed lightly, “I went drinking with Suguru after he closed his shop. Just a light drink.” His hand brushed your shoulder in a soothing manner as he walked behind you, grabbing a plate.

“Why? Did you miss me?” He teased as he tried to carefully put the food on the plate before putting it in front of you. You scoffed, “You wish.” You grabbed the spoon and fork that he was handing out to you, hearing him chuckle. He continued to move around your kitchen, placing a tall glass on the table as he poured you some orange juice. You chewed your food as you watched the vibrant color fill the transparent glass.

“Did he miss me?” He asked you, making you look up at him. He was staring at you with eyes softer than before. There was a hint of tiredness behind it but the glimmer of affection is what made you sigh. “He?” You raised your eyebrow after swallowing, giving him a small smirk as you stood up to grab the glass in front of him. “What makes you so sure that it’s a he?” You sat back down, rubbing your stomach as you gave a small smile. Thinking about it now, you’re excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“I just feel it.” He shook his head, holding back his smile. “What if we get twins?” You looked down, voicing out your thoughts as you got lost in your head, thinking about how you’ll buy little clothes and shoes for your little one and how you’ll paint a room and decorate it. In the corner of your eye, you could see Satoru pulling out the chair beside you. You looked at him to see him leaning his head on his hand, watching you in awe.

“That sounds nice.” He breathed out, feeling lightheaded because of the growing intensity of his feelings for you. Just when he thought that it couldn’t get any stronger, you showed him that there’s always more of you to love. Satoru prayed in his mind, talking to the heavens above that one day he could call you his again.

“We should think of a nickname, you know?” His hand slowly reached out, caressing your stomach as you put down your utensils. His hand is warm and it almost made you forget all the events and thoughts that you experienced earlier. There was comfort in his touch as you turned to your side to give him more access.

Satoru knelt down in front of you, placing both of his large hands on your tummy. He looked up at you, watching your eyes for a moment before scooting closer until he was in between your thighs. He let out a long sigh before pressing his forehead on your stomach.

“Mama and Dada will be fine.” He whispered quietly and you almost didn’t catch it. He sounds so vulnerable, so miserable. He’s always sounded like that but this time there was more pain lacing his voice. He kissed your stomach, letting his lips rest there for a couple of seconds before completely wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing the side of his face against you. He was like a child, looking for solace.

And so you reached your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it as you feel him pull you closer. You let your hand run down the back of his neck to his shoulders and back. He looked up at you with glassy eyes. You almost got worried when he suddenly gave you a small smile. Was he so happy that he started to tear up? You thought, feeling the warmth spread on your chest.

Without noticing, your hands gently moved from his shoulder blades to his face, cupping his cheeks as your traced his jaw. His eyes closed, leaning into your touch, holding your hand in place as he savored the feeling. When was the last time that you were this affectionate with him? He missed it so much that he almost felt like crying again.

All his questions and sentiments from earlier are now gone and replaced by the longing feeling in his chest. It has been so long that he almost forgot how good it felt to be held in your arms. This is what he’s been craving all this time. Before he ruined everything, this was how you touched him. He settled for someone else’s touch, having forgotten how loved he feels with you.

If you give up on getting what feels right for you, you’ll end up having to make do with what is available to you.

Realizing all of this now made Satoru think that he has had that “It’s not really what I want but it works.” moment in his life with Rie. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asked you, enveloping your hand in his. They were cold and you wouldn’t miss the slight tremble in his flesh. You don’t exactly know what happened but you got an idea of what he talked about with Suguru while drinking. You let your teeth dig in the skin of your lips as you bit it. Guilt and shame crawling up your throat. You feel bad about it, even more now that you can almost feel Satoru’s body begging to stay near you.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch. Please.” Satoru needs it. He needs to know that you’re with him. Even if not with your whole heart, Satoru needs to know that he’s not as helpless as he really feels when it comes to you. He needs to know that there’s still a little bit of hope that he could cling to.

“It’s fine.” You murmured, letting him kiss your knuckles as he whispered ‘thank you’s’ on them. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I’ll let Mama eat now. ” He spoke to your stomach again, making you laugh a little. You wanted to snap at him when he showed up at your door unannounced but all of that is gone now.

He stood up and sat on the chair letting you eat in comfortable silence as he softly spoke of his plans for your baby. It’s like he’s had it all thought out and listed. Even when you were still dating, you didn’t think that he’d be this excited. It made you wonder if everything could’ve been prevented had your pregnancy happened earlier in your relationship.

On the other hand, it made you scared; not for yourself but for your child. If you had your baby earlier and those events still happened, you wouldn’t know what to do. Would Satoru do that if he already had a kid with you? It made your guts churn as the stinging throb in your chest made it harder for you to swallow.

Time flew by, faster than it usually does. Maybe it’s because of Satoru’s head on your chest as his hand caressed your lower stomach, whispering gently to the growing life inside you. You didn’t have it in you to deny him or push him off. Not when you can hear all his pain in his voice. You know that your mother’s statements about your relationship with Satoru isn’t entirely impossible but you’re giving it your all not to spiral down again for the sake of your child.

When the morning came, you woke up to the smell coming from your kitchen. The sky looks kind as the rising sun shone a gentle light on your windows. You rubbed your eyes, wondering why Satoru’s up so early. You can’t even remember how you fell asleep last night. The last thing you remember was the warm touch of lips against your forehead, paired with the light touch of his hand on your tummy.

You were about to get up and wash your face when the door to your bedroom opened slowly. The creaking sound halted your movements as Satoru peeked in, smiling before letting himself in when he saw you awake. “I was going to ask you if you feel like having your breakfast here. I know you were not a fan of breakfasts in bed.” He chuckled, closing the door carefully before walking to you.

“Still not a fan of it.” You laughed as you stood up, stretching. Satoru pushed your hair back, away from your face. You sighed as you closed your eyes, your eyelids still heavy from your slumber. You heard Satoru chuckle, pulling you to him and letting you rest your head on his chest. It felt like all tthe tension from the other was just leaving your body today. You mentally thanked yourself for letting Satoru sleep over. The way his palm rubbed up and down your back soothed you. “Let’s go eat. This little bean is hungry.” You ushered, pulling him out of the room.

You spent your breakfast taking small glances at Satoru, occasionally catching him staring lovingly at you, something he never bothered to hide or deny whenever you ask him why. There was more than enough food for two people but you didn’t mind, given the increase in your appetite.

“Just leave the plates on the table. I’ll be washing them.” He spoke to you as he poured more milk in your glass. You hummed, thanking him as he passed it to you. Satoru changed a lot ever since he found out about your pregnancy. When he’s working, he texts you ever hour just to ask if you need anything. You remember how annoyed you were during the first few weeks. You still get annoyed sometimes but not right now when he’s literally serving you like a queen.

“You’ve been doing so much already. This is my house.” You spoke to him, setting down the half empty glass of milk in front of you. Satoru’s back is facing you as he washed the plates. His arms was on full display in his tank tops and you can’t help but notice how his muscles flexed everytime he moved. You took a deep breath, reminded yourself that it’s just because of pregnancy hormones and picked up your phone to distract yourself before he could he even glance back at you to answer.

“And that is my child. I’m not letting you do anything if I could do it for you.” His answer made you laugh. He wiped his hand as he completely turned to you, watching you throw your head back. Satoru wished that it would always be like this. He doesn’t care if you won’t give him answers to his questions, he just want you to be this happy even when he’s around.

“You got a point.” You drank the rest of the milk in your glass as he pulled the chair in front of you. “Let me get you a new place.” He spoke suddenly, making you look up from your phone. “It has to be more spacious than this one so the child can run around or play.” Satoru wanted to offer to buy a home for the three of you, but he doesn’t know how you’d react to that, considering that you only want him around for the baby.

“I can get one. I have savings.” You heard him sigh softly, pursing his lips as he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that.” Satoru got used to picking the words when talking to you. He understands that you’re very sensitive nowadays and he knows that he can’t afford to have you lashing out and locking him out of your apartment again.

“Why not? It’s fine by me. I’ll be living there too.” You tried to reason, surprisingly calmer than how Satoru thought you’d be. “You won’t let me sleep over?” Satoru tried lifting the mood a bit, the small smile in his lips caused you to smile too. “No. What if you bring your girlfriend? I don’t want her near my child.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him and now, it’s his turn to laugh at your little drama.

“Who said I’m getting a girlfriend?” He threw his head back like you just said the funniest joke on Earth. “It’s not impossible!” You defended yourself, letting a small frown take over your features as he leaned forward to watch your face before speaking again, “I’m determined about trying to make it work with you. I won’t get a girlfriend, Y/N.” There was a tone of assurance in his voice and for some reason it calmed you down.

“There’s no guarantee to that. What if someone comes along? There’s no way to stop yourself from falling for someone.” You talked more seriously to him, leaning back on your chair and thinking about how it would be if Satoru were to have someone in his life. You don’t like it. You don’t like how the thoughts are making you feel. Maybe it’s because you don’t want your child having to fight for his attention or maybe it’s because you don’t like the idea of your child spending time with Satoru’s new girlfriend instead of you.

What if your child becomes closer to them than you? There was an image of them walking away from you in your head and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You thought about how his new girlfriend could make your child feel like they were his whole, real and happy family. Then your child would probably feel like it’s better to be with them than alone with you and you don’t know if you could take that.

“Hey. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not going to happen.” Satoru’s hand felt warm against yours but you couldn’t help but snatch it away, furrowing your brows at him, truly annoyed this time. “I don’t care if it does, but my baby is mine.” You clenched your teeth before leaving the kitchen and slamming your bedroom door.

Satoru just sighed, finally used to how fast your mood can change. You’d probably come out later when you’re hungry and if you don’t Satoru’s already ready to prepare whatever your cravings to lure you out. A couple of minutes later, his phone started to ring and he was grateful that it was only Shoko. He doesn’t know how he’d talk to Suguru again after what happened.

“How’s Y/N?” Shoko immediately spoke when he answered, “I know about what happened yesterday. It’s not the best season to ask Y/N.” She quickly added and Satoru nodded like she could see him before answering, “I didn’t tell her, I won’t. Don’t worry about that. And she’s fine. She just walked out on me while we were having a conversation, probably thought herself into a bad mood again.”

“Thought herself into a bad mood? You just said that you were having a conversation. It must be something you said.” There was a hint of protectiveness in Shoko’s tone and Satoru bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We were talking about the possibility of me getting a girlfriend and I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t because I’m still hoping to work things out with her. Then, she probably thought about all the ways that it could affect the child and got angry.” He explained with a heavy sigh and a scratch on his head.

“That’s valid, though.” Shoko spoke from the other end and Satoru hummed, “Yeah, I understand. I just gotta think about how to put her mind at rest about those kinds of things.” He  stood up to put away and wash the glass that you left on the table. After that, Satoru could only hum and agree to all the things that Shoko was advising him, knowing that it’s all for your good.

“I’ll drop by her apartment some time. My schedule’s kinda getting better. Tell her I said hi.” Shoko said before saying goodbye. Satoru could almost see her with a cigarette hanging between her lips from the way she sounded.

Satoru bit his upper lip as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He’s been thinking about going back to your mother’s office to apologize for all that has happened until now. He wants to let them know that he’s sure and resolute about getting you back again. He knows that your parents don’t trust him, but he’s determined to change that; not only through his words but also his actions. He wants to do all that he can just to prove it to you and to them.

_______________________________________

Two Weeks Later

“How many meetings do I have left for today?” Your mother asked her assistant as she struts out of the business partner’s building, completely ignoring all the greetings and bows that she was getting as she fixed her earring. “Three meetings, ma’am. I already moved the two from tomorrow afternoon to today, and the overseas meeting is the only one left for tomorrow.” The girl beside her spoke, making her nod as they walked past the glass doors to the car waiting for them.

“Good. It’s because I doubt we’d get back in time if the first one’s an overseas flight. The traffic sucks.” Your mother uttered as her secretary closed the car door. She has been worried about you ever since that day in her office. Her husband’s words only made her think about it more. She knows that she was harsh to you, but she’d never forgive herself if something happened to you or your child.

Your mother doesn’t like showing you how she really feels whenever you get yourself in trouble. She’d rather have you thinking that you have to pull your own tail if you mess up than thinking that you got someone to cover up for the mistakes that you make. You’re already independent, now she can see that you’re also trying to be responsible for your actions.

She was about to get her phone and send you a text just as the car started to move, but only a few shops away from the building that they just came out of, a familiar white hair caught her attention. “Slow down for a bit.” She commanded the driver who instantly obeyed, watching from the rearview mirror as your mother tried to get a clear view of the outside.

It’s Satoru, in front of an establishment, appearing to be waiting for someone as he typed away on his phone. Is he meeting with you? Friends? Maybe business matters. Your mother thought, leaning back, contemplating if she should tell her driver to keep moving or step out for a bit just to greet him. And of course, to ask about her daughter too. Your mother has already decided about greeting him when a girl rushed to Satoru, grabbing his arm as she stood close to him. Too close for comfort. Yet, he doesn’t seem fazed.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at the sight. It was the girl that you went after in her office, the errand girl. She knew that she’s not just an interesting woman to you. And she’s definitely not just an acquaintance of Satoru. Not by the way he pulled her away from plain sight to a more hidden spot in between the buildings.

“Move the car forward a bit. Don’t let those two spot us.” Your mother spoke sternly to the driver, not taking his eyes away from Satoru who  is now facing the woman again. It made your mother’s blood boil. Even with his back turned to your mother, she could see how the tip of the woman’s shoe is almost touching his and her hands still gripping his arm. Now, that is not how close you stand to your acquaintances.

She tried to search for her phone in her bag but she couldn’t afford to take her eyes away from the enraging scene in front of her. “Hey, you.” She hurriedly tapped her assistant’s shoulder multiple times, “Film it.” She ordered as she gave a bit of space for her. The girl quickly pulled out her phone and did her best to get a clear shot of the two.

There’s no way in hell that I’d let you fool my daughter again.

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[1989withstyle]

Whenever I see Tarry fics, it always makes me happy to read because y’know what? Yeah their not a perfect couple by any means but Tim and Darry get each other in a way most people don’t. They understand having to play the role of both brother and father. Of wanting to do more for their siblings, but can’t due to circumstance. They keep their families together even if they don’t always believe that themselves.They’re path together is filled with bumps but they’ll figure it out in the end because they always do.

Then contrast that with Paul and Darry and yeah…there’s no way those two ever had a chance. Paul has too much anger and hate inside, and Darrel loves the gang and his brothers too much to ever leave them.They’re falling out was bound to happen and bound to be nuclear when it did. To the point that whatever fond memories they had of each other became ruined beyond repair.

MEANWHILE theres Keith Matthews and Darry, two boys who are opposite in every way. Two-Bit is the lost boy who seems set on being forever sixteen. Whereas Darry ‘Superman’ Curtis has had to grow up in ways the other boys didn’t. The two grew up side by side, closer than even Steve and Soda at one point. Yet when High school hit things changed in ways neither of them expected.Darry grew up to become the Golden Boy of Tulsa,the Captain of the Football team, and furthermore one of the few greasers who has a chance of leaving Tulsa. The kind of guy that everyone is desperate to follow after.

While Keith Matthews becomes Two-Bit, a no good greaser to most who causes all kinds of trouble. Who’s too lazy to even clean up after himself, much less try hard in school.The two play their roles so perfectly that from an outsiders perspective you wouldn’t even know they were friends. They both know better though, especially when on certain nights Two-Bit sneaks into Darrel’s room. The two laying together and whispering all sorts of secrets to the other. On those nights Darry starts to act more his age and smiles, the same smile that makes Two-Bit feel things he know he shouldn’t. It doesn’t help that when Darry laughs at one of his jokes, he can feel something stir deep inside of him. Especially when he looks at him with such soft eyes, to the point that Two-Bit thinks he’s prettier than any blonde he’s ever fooled around with.

When the Curtis parent’s die, things shift between them once more. Except unlike in high school where they could wait for each other, one day Two-Bit turns to find Darry’s miles away from him. Both physically and mentally, Darry’s older in a way that Two-Bit could never be. He has more important things to worry about now, and Two-Bit understands like he always does. Except Two-Bit has always been wiser and more observant than Darry when it comes to people. He knows whatever they could have had, can’t ever happen now. Especially since Two-Bit is too self aware of himself to know that he won’t ever be the partner that Darry needs. Not this Darry at least. This Darry needs someone that can support him, not someone to take care of.Yet that doesn’t stop him from trying as he’s desperate to hold onto Darry for as long as he can. Trying to crack a joke or two to see just a small glimpse of that smile of his. Trying his hardest to try and remind Darry that he’s still there.Until the day he eventually gives up and stops waiting for him.

The two care and love each other BUT I can’t ever see them lasting as a couple. Honestly them even becoming a couple is a huge stretch. They’re not just best friends, but they’re not quite a couple either. They are a secret third thing that they could never figure out. Unfortunately for them they spent too much time trying to find the answer,that the small opening for them has long since been closed. Don’t get me wrong their still friends, but they can’t ever be anything more.

(P.S: this was heavily inspired by the very long rant I sent to @pumpkinsy0 about these two. Their a real trooper for reading it all 🫡.)

[kisses4tom]

PT 2 OF TOM AS A DAD PLSSS

ᡣ𐭩 DAD TOM part 2!

───────────────

HEYY OFCC 🤭 SO MANY PPL ARE REQUESTING THIS ACTUALLY!! 😭 here is part 1

To be quite honest with you guys, I don't really know what else to add 😭, but I'll figure it out and make something up along the way! 💕

I hope it lives up to your expectations because, I will not lie, I ran out of ideas for a few of them 😭 yet I hope you like it either way! 🫶🏻

I also mixed various topics and scenarios for a little more inclusivity! especially because I made a lot of these hcs for a teen daughter

Obviously Tom is gonna be a girl dad 'cause what else would he beeeee 🤭🥹

───────────────

he would keep almost every drawing she's made throughout the years

HE WOULD LEND HER HIS YELLOW DOG PLUSHIE‼️‼️

when she's older he would love to get matching tattoos if she wants, but he's definitely getting one dedicated to her (did y'all know Bill and Tom have a matching tattoo with Leni? 👀)

definitely making her a photo album

if anybody says that the baby looks more like him than her mother he would act so proud istg

"Yeah, Y/n's genes said BYE!"

he would become her personal Instagram photographer

whenever his daughter brings a boy home he would be so sus of him and maybe even tell them to keep the door open 💀

DAD REFLEXES 🤭🤭‼️ so hot istg

he would get dragged into tiktoks and learn some dances together 😭

when the baby was younger, her mama would surprise Tom with matching fits and he would be sooo gitty and happy

always keeping an eye out for her in public

if he's talking to some people and he hears the smallest noise coming from his daughter, he would immidiately put everything on pause and make sure she's okay (if that makes sense idk) or he would turn to look at her

he would try to attend as many school/dance recitals as possible, but with work it's a little hard for him to find time (at times)

is she plays a sport he would cheer the loudest for her

if she ever comes out as an lgbtq+ member, he would be very supportive and just act casual after her confession

when the baby was just born and he had skin-to-skin contact with her for the first time, he got emotional

he would wake up in the middle of the night and feed her himself so you could rest (currently in between tears)

the band is OBSESSED with that child and always play with her whenever they have a chance

Tom knows he can rely on them as babysitters

why do I feel like him and Bill would FIGHT to choose who holds her

"Tom you always have her come onnn let me have her this timeee"

he's so protective of that child

when she first started walking he’d kneel down and open his arms towards her

he would also scoot back so she could walk more and then let her fall in his arms (imagine him picking her up and kissing her cheek after 😭)

istg he would bring that child everywhere (especially when she's older)

he would make sure to dedicate her an episode/scene on Kaulitz & Kaulitz where he talks about fatherhood and his story

he's veeery supportive of everything she does

whenever he's live on Instagram or TikTok with the band he would call his daughter over and prank her with filters or something like that

he loves dressing her up, but hates changing her diaper

he usually doesn't enjoy shopping, but he would bring her everywhere and spend time together

he's such a quality time dad

when texting, he would send pictures of his honest reaction LMFAO😭

he would make sure his and Gustav's daughter are like little cousins (spoiler alert: they are)

his daughter will grow up with "do you need a stepmom by any chance?" questions 😻

if Tom and the baby's mom broke up, co-parenting would be pretty hard on him, as he loves that child so much it hurts him to know he can't see her for some time

he would probably bring her to some meet and greets with fans (both now and back in the day)

fans would give him so many gifts for her

sometimes he gets emotional knowing she won't stay a baby forever, but he's still very excited to know her character and mess with her more

when she was a baby, at the beach he would dip her feet in the water

when she's older he would splash the hell out of her and push her in the water

if you have more ideas leave them in the comments so I can add them! 🤭

[gabessquishytum]

This has been haunting my head forever, but as we all know Robert Smith was the leading inspiration for Dream in the comics with more than a bit of Neil sprinkled in there (and a few other goth rock bands like Bauhaus' Peter Murphy) and I just can't get over the image of a goth rockstar Dream.

It's the late 70s, and our boy Dream is riding a creative high of LSD and pedal effects to the top of the pops. They're calling the band he fronts, name and members are up to you or whoever takes this idea on, Goth bc they're too dark for New Wave but are just upbeat enough to steer clear of Televison's particular brand of Post-Punk. It's a newer label but a fitting one considering how dour and moody the genre has gotten since Ian Curtis's death. One he despises as he claims he's very happy with his current success and how his life is going.

But he's not happy. He hates playing to the newly forming stereotype of his fans, but he isn't. Celebrity Marriages hardly ever last and his relationship with his novelist wife is crumbling around him. He loves his son but the touring schedule is killing all of his free time. He's also pretty deep into substance abuse but he wouldn't admit it to his big sister let alone the random journo who has a camera in his face while he's trying to catch a 5:30 am flight to start his newest tour. He's just burnt out and creatively stuck as the label tries to pigeonhole him into this new subgenre, which he doesn't want anymore. Life, his life, can't be doom and gloom forever even though that's where it looks like it's heading. Forever being hailed as the Nightmare King.

Meanwhile, three radio stations over, Hob Gadling is desperately trying to hang onto life. He's a bit older now than when he first broke out onto the music scene as a rambunctious coat rider of the Sex Pistols, but he's still going strong. Punk has always been his outlet. Life sucks and you keep on living despite it. It tried to kill him not long after he debuted with substance use, but he powered through it and got clean. His wife died in childbirth, but he stuck around to raise his son. He even took a three-year hiatus and completely missed how much the sound had changed from his younger years. Even as post-punk has risen in popularity and the friends he knew have either died or changed their sound completely, he won't give up hope! Punk's not dead and neither is he. No matter how long his hair gets or if he grows out of his leather jacket.

The two meet rather coincidentally. Hob just happens to be opening for Dream on the Europe leg of his tour. Unsurprisingly the tension around Dream's band has become a powder keg and when he finally snaps and fires his guitarist, his bassist also leaves. With half the band gone, Dream considers calling it quits right then and there. Fuck the new album, fuck the last fifteen or so dates. He wants to go home. But Hob sees how close they are to finishing the tour and puts his foot down. They will finish the tour! So he offers up his services to Dream. He's not bad with a guitar and if Dream can cover the bass, then he'll play all night if he has to. Because out there on stage? That's life and he wants to keep making people happy and give them something that might transcend time and space. To never die bc his name is there among the annuls of rock history.

And in time, Dream will come around to his new friend. He will learn to appreciate the zest for performing and living his new friend has. He will also think he has the greatest body known to man and will forever laugh at the terribly done anarchy A Hob has tattooed on his ass, but that's neither for here or there. For now, Dream pulls himself together and gets his bass out from the dark pits of hell the roadies call gear storage. For the show must go on.

Oh god I want an entire novel length story around this. It’s fantastic! I have so many thoughts about these two!!

Hob is falling in love with all the new sounds that he’s hearing. He spent his time on his hiatus being a suburban dad, and now he’s back on the scene is just feels amazing. He can’t get enough of Roxy Music and David Bowie and Elvis Costello. And he’s determined to drag himself back up among those names! He’s got so many ideas of where punk can go! And he’s fascinated by Dream and his band. The lyrics are a little dark and wallowy, but Hob understands that actually people need to hear that. Life in the UK isn’t easy, particularly for young people. They need something loud and desperate and real. Little does he know, Dream feels like what he’s doing is so far away from being real. He feels likes such a fraud. He can’t get off the hamster wheel except by shooting up and passing out.

Hob recognises all of this in approximately 0.5 seconds after meeting Dream. It makes him pretty sad, but he’s determined that he’ll lift Dream out of his funk. If nothing else, he’ll make him love music again.

So when Hob said he was OK with a guitar, he was lying - he's actually a bit of a genius, and it's fair to say that Dream falls a little bit in love with him about half way through the sound check. Instead of hiding in the dressing room and licking his wounds over the band breaking up, he actually watches as Hob opens for him. Hob is very classic punk, it's all very "fuck the government, fuck me up the arse" kind of stuff, but Dream doesn't get bored for a single second. Hob is just that entertaining, and his riffs are insane. Dream itches to write a song for him. And when Hob ends the set with a jokey little song that his five year old son allegedy wrote the lyrics for (lil Robyn is very punk, just like his daddy) Dream’s eyes actually get a bit misty. It's probably all the smoke.

And there's really no time to get emotional! Dream’s drummer, Constantine, thankfully didn't walk out with the rest of them. So somehow, with Hob’s virtuosic guitar skills and sheer determination, plus Dream’s refusal to fail yet again, they actually make a really decent show. Dream feels a tingle of the old spark that he used to get when he first started out - it probably has something to do with the way Hob upends a bottle of water all over his head half way through the show and grins like a maniac.

After the show they crash in a local hotel. Hob calls his kid from the payphone and Dream wishes that he had the courage to do the same. Instead he takes some pills so he doesn't have to feel the high from the show gradually wearing off into nothingness. He doesn't know why Hob comes and sits next to him in the dark, pressing against him from thigh to shoulder. He stays for the whole of Dream’s trip, in fact, humming something quiet and classic. Dream feels quite ashamed of himself, and for the first time he thinks that maybe he'd feel better without the drugs. Maybe.

As the tour gets off to a slow start, Dream starts to notice that Hob is having some kind of positive effect on him. Just little thing. They get breakfast together, so Dream actually eats something, which is unusual. Their little arguments don't get out of hand, because Hob never lets them escalate. When Dream is angry and spitting at the world, Hob is sure to point of something positive. Not that Hob doesn't get sad, too - he just deals with it differently. He goes for long walks, and turns off the news when it gets bad. He gets himself a snack when he's irritable, and laughs about it afterwards.

Dream writes him a near impossible guitar solo and it feels like a "thank you".

They have a sweet, unexpected first kiss. It's 2am and they're standing at the edge of the road, waiting for a mechanic to come out to their broken down tour bus. There's no one around to see, so Dream rests his head on Hob’s shoulder. He's sore, and weary. Hob turns his head slightly and tucks an arm around him, and it just happens. They kiss. It is, of course, the first of many.

And you can bet that Dream kisses that anarchy tattoo a million time, too.

[steveshairychest]

tw: mentions of death

Eddie will forever be grateful that he got a second chance but now he's starting to feel the consequences of his immortality.

Steve's old enough to be his dad now. His hair is almost completely grey at 45; he says the stress of babysitting 6 kids really sped up the process. Eddie still thinks he's the most beautiful person alive, he's aging like fine wine right before his eyes and he's so glad that he gets to spend every second of his immortal life with Steve.

He just wished they'd grow old together.

Dustin's kids think it's weird that their dad is friends with someone who's only just 'freshly 21' but Eddie thinks it's weird that they've never questioned why the man they've known since they were infants hasn't aged a day. He's starting to realise that children are very oblivious, especially if you bring gifts everytime you visit.

He still DMs for the party except now their children join in too. They like to remind Eddie that his rules are very outdated. He gets a disappointed frown from one of his friends when he kills their kid's character just because they annoyed him.

He thought explaining his eternal youth to his friend's kids was going to be the hardest part but he was wrong.

The hardest part was watching all his friends die.

It never got easier. He held their hands, whispered words of comfort as he listened to their hearts slowly stop. He cursed his abilities in these moments; wished he couldn't smell the illness in their blood and hear their hearts get weaker and weaker as they grew older.

Steve went sooner than he expected.

It came on so suddenly, he had no time to prepare himself, no time to figure out a way to go with him.

"See the world for me." Steve whispers to him. He's smiling, he's fucking dying and he has the audacity to smile at Eddie.

"I don't want to live in a world without you." Eddie's voice cracks and he scoots his chair closer so that he can gently rest his head on Steve's stomach. Steve weakly plays with his hair, that stupid smile still on his face.

"Always so dramatic." Steve traces Eddie's face, runs his fingers over his eyes, his nose, his lips, the scar on the side of his face from the bats; something that feels like a lifetime ago. "I love you, Eds, I won't be mad if you find someone else. Just make sure you visit and tell me about them." Eddie's sobbing now, his body shaking as he cries and grips Steve's hand tighter. He can hear it. He can fucking hear his heart slow. It's a sound he'll never be able to forget.

"My heart belongs to you... in this life.. and the next." And then he's gone.

Eddie's ears ring and he knows he's causing a scene, knows that screaming Steve's name won't magically drag him back from whatever place he's gone to, but he can't stop. He has to be forcefully dragged out of the room which is a struggle because Eddie is stronger than the average human.

He hates the silence, hates that he'll never hear the calming, steady beat of his lovers heart. He doesn't sleep for weeks, it feels wrong to sleep in their bed without Steve. He doesn't eat, can't even bring himself to open the fridge and drink the last bit of blood Steve had put aside for him.

It gets to a point where Dustin's oldest kid, Julie, comes to visit and finds him curled up on the floor, hunger so bad he's unable to move, to speak.

"Steve wouldn't want this." She chides and force feeds him the blood from the fridge. He doesn't know when Dustin told her about him, doesn't really care at that point. All he can do is sob weakly as Steve's blood fills his mouth and brings him back from the edge. "Come on. We're going to visit dad."

Dustin's in a retirement home now.

He'd gone downhill after his wife died and the kids had their own lives, they didn't have time to look after him 24/7. Eddie would have taken him in if he'd known, but he's been in a state of limbo for 2 months now. He'd collapsed on the kitchen floor a week ago and would have stayed there if Julie hadn't shown up, his body can withstand neglect a lot better than he thought.

He's missed Robin's 70th birthday.

He's missed the birth of Mike and El's 4th grand kid.

He's missed the release of Will's final book in his series.

He's missed so much life while mourning Steve. He didn't realise so much could happen in just 2 months.

"Hey, dad, I've brought a visitor." Julie says softly, making sure not to startle Dustin. He's sitting on the small lounge next to the window, an old fantasy book in his hands, and seeing him sit there brings back memories of when they were younger. When Dustin used to come by Steve's house just to be near Eddie, to remind himself that Eddie was okay. They'd sit in the bay window in Steve's lounge room and read together for hours. Steve would walk by and flick the lamp on for them because they wouldn't even notice that the sun had set.

He can still see that little kid in the old man in front of him, he's hidden under the wrinkles and grey hair, but when his eyes light up and his smile takes over his face, Eddie sees the kid that he risked his life for. "Eddie!"

Julie leaves them to talk, says that she'll grab them all a cup of coffee. Eddie declines. He hasn't been able to drink coffee since Steve died. It reminds him too much of waking up to quiet humming from the kitchen and coffee flavoured kisses.

Dustin scolds Eddie for neglecting himself, for not calling him or coming to see him so that they could mourn together. It feels strange to be scolded by someone that you used to babysit.

"He told me to move on." Eddie says quietly, bitterly. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him."

"You don't have to forget him." Dustin scoots closer to Eddie on the cramped lounge and makes him look him in the eyes. "You're going to be around for a long time, Eds. You can't be that stereotypical vampire that mourns his long lost love for centuries."

"Maybe I want to."

"Steve would strangle me when I see him next if I let you do that."

When I see him next.

That makes Eddie ache. Will he ever get to see Steve again? Can he even die? He doesn't want Dustin to leave him too but he knows Steve is probably lonely wherever he is. He never liked being on his own for very long.

Eddie leans against his friend's shoulder and sighs shakily. He doesn't want to cry again. He's tired of crying. "I feel hollow, Dustin. I think Steve took a part of me with him."

"He was always quite greedy when it came to you."

Eddie smiles for the first time in 2 months. "He was, wasn't he. He always stole your time with me." He playfully jabbed Dustin in the side and it felt good to laugh with him, to smile and see the familiar twinkle of joy in his friend's eyes.

When they stop laughing and the room fills with a comfortable silence, Eddie asks quietly, "Do you really think you'll see him again?"

Dustin hums and leans back into the lounge, a knowing smile on his lips. "You'll see him again, Eddie. I know it."

Eddie scoffs with a smile. "Why? Because you're old and wise?"

"Precisely."

Eddie knows Dustin is just saying what he wants to hear, what he thinks he needs to move on with his life, but a small part of himself hopes it's true.

He hopes that after he's seen the world, he'll be able to tell Steve all about it.

[prettyboykatsuki]

the itoshi brothers (and how bluelock handles betrayal as character motivation)

✦ or why i don't think sae hates rin afterall.

✦ a / n ; this absurdly long and absurdly extensive. my bad. also sorry if this is obvious to some people, sometimes it takes me a few reads fdfksj

i want to preface this by saying - i'm not really very invested in the itoshi brothers. or at least i wasn't originally. the character im usually most taken with is isagi, but i've sort of been wanting to dissect sae because i can't fully wrap my head around his character. and when i want to understand a character, i usually end up going through a re-read of their chapters and arcs - to get a feel for them and all.

sorry for the thick paragraph, but tl;dr this is the first time im really analyzing these two so if this is obvious to everyone else please ignore me asjdskjds

anyway. the analysis.

there's two things that need to be examined when taking a look at the itoshi brothers. the first being their relationship before sae took off to spain, the second being how bluelock sets up concepts like betrayal for the sake of improvement.

firstly - i think we need to address saes character on a base level. sae is shown to be relatively detached in general. whereas rin has forever been more of sensitive character - sae is critical and level-headed. i suspect this is partially accredited to his role as older brother.

but you'll notice that sae is significantly more gentle to rin. he's a good older brother, both encouraing rin to do well and play soccer with him. even if he lacks that sort of finesse with teammates.

from the beginning, rin idolizes his older brothers character. every goal he has is in some way relating to pleasing or impressing sae. it's not unusual for him to do as a younger brother, especially one who was obviously doted on by rin. it's very clear that rin loves his brother deeply and feels a need to earn his favor nearly always.

there's this conversation they have in ch.124 that really drew me to this conclusion and sort of shifted my perspective on this relationship. i had always figure that sae had experienced something in spain that we, the audience don't know. it's very bluelock for characters to change drastically due to some crushing defeat (case and point kunigami)

but i hadn't take into consideration what that event would've changed in these twos relationship where maybe i should've. the thing is that sae is always concerned about how rin will fare without him.

in this chapter, sae asks rin what he thinks about or considers with playing soccer and rin responds with something along the lines of - he's not really thinking. he uses instinct and has confidence his brothers passes to him. sae is of course critical of this.

aside from the very obvious affection that this two share - sae goes onto tell rin that he's going off to spain soon. he once again, encourages rin to do his best and not fall behind while he's gone. rin responds with of course, and promises to become best in japan while sae goes onto become best in the world.

from there, we see rins life as he continues to grow up while his brother is in spain for several years. rin is shown to feel a little bit lonely, but keeps his promise of dedicating his entire life to football. not only is he a good team-player, he spends his free time practicing alone because he has full faith in the promise that he made with sae when they were young.

whats noticeable to me is the way rin describes playing without sae as constricting or inconvenient. the sport doesn't quite feel the same without sae around, but rin continues to practice because he values his relationship to his brother.

it's coming directly off of a win that sae returns home and sees rin practicing, and it's here i had a realization about the nature of their relationship and their driving force.

and it's here where i really put together what the actual consequence of saes spain trip was.

but before i get to that, i want to touch on the way bluelock as a series handles the concept of failure and motivation. because there are two seperate instances where a character has some sort of major event happen to them - whether that be a kind of betrayal or a massive failure and that drives their character to improve farther.

the first one being kunigami and his transformation as the hyena. the second and imo - the more important one, the relationship between reo and nagi.

to keep it brief - nagi essentially 'betrays' reo by choosing to go with isagi and separate himself from reo in order to improve. while nagi doesn't entirely understand it as a betrayal (because he still considers reo a close friend) it is indeed a crushing moment for reo - who makes it his goal and his ego to be a player that nagi can play with.

in laymans terms - it's betrayal of a pairing that provides character development and is often used to highlight the intense bonds between two people. to be motivated by someone instead of something can only speak to how much you value that person, and want to play with them, right?

and that's where i want to pick up with rin and sae.

there are so many details about this scene to nitpick. so many things i want to shed light on because i just find it so interesting when i look carefully. sae returns home while rin is practicing on the field, and rin is incredibly excited to see his brother.

but it's obvious both to us as the audience and to rin that sae has changed somehow.

you can just tell that sae looks exhausted, where as rin has the same same expression as he did four years ago.

there are so many things in this panel that i think are worth analyzing. the fact that rin notices that sae has lost weight as a marker of just how much sae has changed. what he's been through.

and more specifically what sae says in order to summarize his experiences in spain.

"turns out the world is huge. there're players way better than me out there. i..i've changed my dream."

now, my understanding of japanese is none so i can't compare this to the raws. but i want to discuss the phrasing here with a little more nuance - specifically, i want to talk about the way sae has phrased the sentence.

you'll notice that sae does not say "my dream has changed". he instead says "i've changed my dream." and i think this is a testament to what happened to him in the fours years he was abroad. sae wants it to seem like its a choice he's made, if only to convince rin that he's fine with it. it's obvious that sae likely experienced whats very common for characters in bluelock - which is the mortifying realization that he was practically nothing in comparison to his peers.

we know what the means for sae as individual, in that he was deeply discouraged by what he understood as reality. but what does that mean for sae as an older brother? particularly an older brother who dotes on his younger brother.

rin is very against the idea of sae playing as a midfielder, and tells sae to his face that he doesn't want to see sae like this. he recognizes that saes change is actually stemming from a sense of defeat, and is against the idea of sae giving up his dream. and you can see in saes expression that he's saddened at rins reaction - thought he might've predicted it to some extent.

he's insistent on the fact rin doesn't understand, but hearing rin say "you're not the same brother i shared a dream with...!" causes the façade to crack momentarily. in the minute that sae is covered in shadow, we see his approach to rin changing.

and i think it's here i realized what the sudden attitude change was about.

sae goes onto to challenge rin to a one on one duel. he tells rin, that if you're able to win against me here then ill continue to believe in that dream. he absolutely crushes rin in the match, and when that match is over - rin finally confesses it outright.

its this moment where it all finally clicked for me that saes response here was entirely intentional. and the reason i know that to be true, and that the way he talks to rin here is insincere is because of the way he hesitates.

we get an entire panel where sae simply stares at rin and is silent. this isn't a gut reaction. we intentionally get to see the briefest moment where sae is hesitating to say all of this cruel shit to rin. because he knows rin will never stop idolizing sae or hoping for that dream.

and you'll notice the way he's using this moment to drill something in rins head for later on. he says something explicitly i want to talk to about

"don't use me as your reason to play football ever again."

its this moment that confirms it for me. this, on top of the fact we don't get to see saes expression when he says the last part. he's turned away from rin entirely - when he had been facing rin for most of this conversation.

that's the thing, though. sae to some extent, is familiar with the cruelty that soccer on the international level has to offer. in the early part of the manga, you see him have a similar reaction to bluelock and egoism as a concept. sae is intrigued by it and supports its core tenets to some extent, because he's seen professional soccer at its most brutal.

when you think about it, what reason does sae have to be so intentionally cruel to rin about not wanting to play football? if he was really so indifferent to rin, what reason would there be to crush him to that extent? wouldn't the appropriate response be just that, indifference?

sae's disposition is never naturally cruel. but his whims and feelings adjust based on input. he plays soccer and thinks very heavily about his moves. so if his experiences is telling him that he is no longer fit to be a striker, then what does that make of the promise he made to the younger brother he adored.

all of that to say, i think sae wants rin to become a striker and wants to continue playing soccer with rin. but he believes that if rin remains attached to him the way he is - he will never reach his full potentional. and in order to bring that full potential out - he's willing to be the catalyst and subsequently the villain rins story.

i think all of it, and the intentional salt in the wound is a mechanism for rins development which sae achieves by the end of u20 almost.