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Anyway recently a new friend of mine looked at me while we were having a drink and he was like you have a really nice smile ...! Like it was something he hadn't realised before and recently another friend had sent a picture of us to another friend and I spotted her completely unprompted reply saying I, me, not him, looked radiant, or something. And before then I thought I looked kinda stupid in that picture and then I looked after seeing that message and I was like oh, well maybe I do look nice. So what is the truth.
#personal#my stuff#i always interpret it as - yes im a little ugly like regular ugly so just normal yknow like everybody so not really ugly but flawed and i#also know i look young and a bit weird maybe well certainly i think because of that and NAYWAY#im jsut. regular..not very pretty. because i cant style myself in that way. im blind tonmy own face. i guess im just. young looking. i dont#want that.#especially as i grow older#not in some cute way just YOUNG#arrhdhdjskskfjjrd#aneyay what i meant to say is that i interpret that as - i look regular-ugly-good and in thise moments i look genuinely good - better than#normal - than you'd expect at. a glance#yes it is insecurity spill time. YES. this IS my personal diary.#anyway well whatever some people will still like yoi even of youre not of amazing amazing looks#but sometimes im just like - what do i even look like what do people even see how do i even 'fit' next to anyone?#also that friend did once say imply something along the lines of when she was drunk that she feels more comfortable next tome bc im not as#styled-puttogether-feminine-pretty as her other friends my acquintances#and well anyway the sting is gone i alreadybknew or suspected that#but yknow lifelong insecurity - and yknow they are very pretty. and more feminine. and yes i do believe that thats why i wasnt in the gotda#whatsapp group#ANYWAY.#because italians are sexist? im joking...#i am. but damn.#anyway..movin on.#maybe i should just focus on getting fit.#anyway dont. no. she meant that response and thats nice.
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