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POTES GETS TRAUMATISED BY KOTOR!
i was gonna part 2 of this when I got to the end but i got to That Bit™ this morning and i need to tell everyone ever (im aware im probably towards the end of the game now but still plz dont spoil i assume theres more insane shit to come!!)
without further ado, sessions 7-9:
seven rhymes w revan so they better show tf up now
this game is so pretty esp when you land the ship
CARTH HAD A WIFE AND SON?????? CHRIST POOR GUY SAUL SUCKS
omg they never found the son that feels potentially relevant
'they didnt send a master bc itd draw too much attention' bastila, malak is obsessed with u rn i think that mission has been failed
wow so the council sent juhani with me just bc my vibes are so great
i might sound completely batshit insane for this but with all these redemption themes/talks i keep thinking abt 1. the fact i was so certain u played as revan 2. that revan is never given pronouns like ur supposed to pick their pronouns and 3. i have amnesia and im good at being a jedi (+ they clearly know smthn i dont). im not gonna say it bc i will look incredibly stupid if im wrong but do u pick up my theory. do u pick up what im putting down
ok that feels like the biggest reach in history PLEASE IM CLEARLY GOING CRAZY JUST SHOW ME REVANNN PLEASEEEEEEEE
i don’t even know if i have amnesia tbh but nobody’s given me a chance to prove i don’t
they could just be trying to make revan extra mysterious w the pronouns. i think im talking to carth too much, him not trusting anyone is making me not trust the game now im worried the lack of pronouns is there to hide their identity for some betrayal LMAO
oop i thought bringing zaalbar would be a good idea but apparently hes an exile. great
is stopping slavery even the jedi way cause qui-gonn sure as shit didnt do that in tpm
ZAALBAR'S DAD IS CHIEF??
i should bring Mission on this meet-zaalbar's-dad thing but shes 14 and i dont want to bring her into active combat scenarios ok
ok zaalbar's dad WAS chief. odds on him being this 'mad-claw'
A JEDI?
a grouchy hermit jedi!!!
why am i allowed to use the computer what previous user would make it usable for ME?????? SUSPICIOUS
what if im a wattpad character and revan is my older sibling or cousin
this is star wars, The Family Drama Franchise, im not ruling out that theyre my dad. my woke nonbinary dad
I LOVE THIS BUILDERS MYSTERY WHO TF WERE THEY. THEY MADE KASHYYK A FOREST!!! THEYRE SO COOL!!! I LOVE AN ANCIENT PEOPLES MYSTERY
was the builders my evil dad is this like assassins creed (everyone else has parental issues i'll feel left out if i don't have any)
big fan of how creepy the forest mandos are
im fighting little beasties and a massive beastie. this is just like jfo
well we dealt with a planet of slavers and helped with Zaalbar's daddy issues, now it's time to go to a new planet of slavers and help with Bastila's mummy issues!!!
DARTH BANDON (ill call him brandon out of disrespect) SHOWED UP AND IMMEDIATELY THREW A RANDOM GUARD INTO A TERMINAL INJURING 2 OTHERS. AND HE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL SIMS 2 TOWNIE bet hes lowkey mid
malak you will never replace your best friend revan with this brandon fucker. and revan is going to be MY best friend soon when i find them
massive fan of how imperial tatooine looks near the same as it did in kotor 4000 years ago. this planet is the true no.1 shithole ever
btw the 8th fast n furious was called f8 of the furious
im still so scared that revan's pronoun sitch means they're gonna be someone i know like what if revan is already my best friend CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIA SO I CAN RELAX AND AT LEAST RULE OUT THE CRACK THEORY OF ME BETRAYING MYSELF
whatever let's think about the fact i'm on the sand shithole. fuck this star map bastila where's your mum i want some soap opera drama
WHY DOES EVERYWHERE CHARGE ME 100 CREDITS
tatooine used to be a lush green planet??? arrakis who?
omg this guy knows carth does everyone on tatooine know my friends
HIS SON IS W THE SITH??????
'he must be a man by now' how old are you carth i thought you were like 30 at most. carth were you a child bride
when are we gonna run into someone who knows ME so i can dispute the amnesia allegations
AH! BASTILA'S BITCH-MUM JUST ASKED ME IF I TALK TO MY MOTHER LIKE THAT AND I GOT OPTIONS!! IS THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST MY AMNESIA???? AM I A REAL CHARACTER??????? GET IN!!! I HAD A MOTHER
i love how bastila n her mum havent seen each other in presumably like 20 years and yet their reunion was so immediately hostile
or more than 20 years who knows how old any of my companions are carth apparently has an adult son!!!
the only person i can trust is mission who is for sure 14 and the old men who are old man aged
thank god there was a guy who immediately told me the nonlethal option for the tuskens i thought i was gonna have to search for it
just did baby's first savescum cause i accidentally picked a dark side option and my friends were sad LOL
THE WAY HK47 SAID "shall i kill something for you? (:" LMAO IM IN LOVE W IT ALREADY
LMAOO HK IS ALMOST ALL THE WAY INTO THE DARK SIDE METER
having bastila and hk at the same time feels like having an angel and a devil on my shoulder every time they chime in on dialogue
i love them
MEATBAGS
"would you rather be caught with contraband that is very illegal or just a little illegal" "whats the difference" "about 20 years, master" HE IS MY FAVOURITE
love getting the murderdroid to do peace negotiations
hilarious that we're negotiating in our underwear
tatooine really makes you realise that this game is a walking simulator
LETS GO FIGHT A DRAGON
but respectfully. bc im a jedi
fun fact if you walk straight into the cave without using the hunter guy's mines then you will die and have to reload your save. not saying i know this from experience bc i just did exactly that and died or anything it's just a random fact i know
dragon: exploded
DARTH BRANDON??!??!?!?!
NOW TELL ME WHERE REVAN IS YOU SHITBRICKED SON OF A BITCH ok hes dead he cant tell me anything
bastila is drawn to landmines like a moth to a flame she loves getting exploded by them
BASTILA'S MUMMY ISSUES: SOLVED
i should be an intergalactic family issues counsellor. my character could've solved vaderkin and luke's whole thing in less than one film
bastila just PAID ME A COMPLIMENT INSTEAD OF NAGGING ME! CALL THE UH-- i guess star wars doesnt have the vatican just uhhh idk tell yoda when he's born
i love this game bc you get a very distinct feeling that they pulled '4000 years' out of a hat and didnt think about how the buildings or technology would be different. in 4000 years all that's changed on tatooine is how many towns there are but i guess it's the law of diminishing returns or whatever
WE’RE BEING TRACTOR-YOINKED???
why are we in our underwear. saul you pervert
what history between us
WHAT HISTORY SAUL. WHAT HISTORY
WHAT HISTORY?!!!!!!?!!????
what does he MEAN my loyalties are switching WHAT FUCKING HISTORYY
LMAOOO you can say the academy was on alderaan instead of dantooine thats such a good anh reference
THE JEDI ON DANTOOINE HAVE BEEN KILLED?!!?!!!! WHAT IM NO LONGER LMAO-ING
WHAT THE HELL CAN I HAVE A SECOND TO PROCESS EVERYTHIN
sorry carth i got you soooo electrocuted it was for the republic tho
seriously WHAT THE DANTOOINE JEDI CANT BE DEAD LIKE ??????? what????? no??? master tortimer???
LMAOOO HALF NAKED JOLEE IS GONNA KILL A SHIP
NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE LETS GOO!!
this is good we should get out of here but also can we ask saul and malak what the fuck he meant by history
presumably?? i was a sith before?? my amnesiacs??? like that seems certain going off saul's comments
god if the crack theory was right im gonna cry i dont even want to think abt the implications of that
at least my amnesia has been semi-confirmed. or i have an evil twin
LMAO JOLEE HAS NO ARMOUR PROFICIENCY ALL HE CAN WEAR IS HIS UNDIES. NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE CONTINUES!
“i have an army” “we have a naked old man”
rip naked old man times i have my equipment back
bastila thinks we can't fight malak but i literally have grenades we'll be fine
also i want to talk to him what the fuck did saul mean we had history. is MALAK my evil dad??? (i dont want 2 think abt the alternative option)
IM IN SPACE!!!!! IN A SPACE SUIT
what the hell do they put in these star wars games man, kotor is reaching jfo/js levels of "basically coke for me"
i cant think of a session nine pun i just wanna play it
CONTINUING ON FROM BEING IN SPACE LETS GO PUNCH SAUL IN SPACE
the crack theory can't be right its just a crack theory i'm not. like im just a normal woman i cant be ya know. i dont even wanna say it
SAUL PLEASE TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIAAA
omg YES WE GET TO KILL SAUL!! GAME OF THE YEAR!!
HES ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK DID HE TELL YOU CARTH. WHAT THE FUCK DID THE WHOLE JEDI COUNCIL KNOW
CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME
WHY IS THE ONLY DIALOGUE OPTION LET'S MOVE ON. I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT
ah! malak! you bitch!
REUNION? VENGEANCE?? OH GOD NO
NO
ITS SHOWING ME THE EVIDENCE
OH IT WAS CARTH WHO SAID ABT THE MEMORY WIPING IT WASNT A LOADING SCREEN TIP
NO
WHAT
NO??????????? NO
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRACK THEORY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRAZY REACH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
wow revan (my???) eyes are fucked up
AGH HE CALLED ME REVAN
OH MY GOD
I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN
THIS WHOLE TIME. I WAS NEVER PLAYING AS SOME RANDOM CLOWN WHO IVE GROWN TO LOVE AS A CHARACTER. I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN
WHY IS THERE NOT A DIALOGUE OPTION TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK I NEED TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK
FUCK MAN ILL HAVE ONE IN REAL LIFE AT THIS RATE THERES NO WAY
i dont feel like im abt to cry but i kind of want to cry anyway what the HELL MAN
IT GETS WORSE EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME REVAN IM IN MROE AND MORE SHOCK
LIKE IVE BEEN PHYSICALLY GASPING ON REPEAT N SAYING NO OUT LOUD. IF I WAS HOME ALONE I THINK ID BE SCREAMING
there has got to be a speneva (space geneva) convention against this this seems so illegal
i literally cannot work out if this is better or worse than death. tbh it is death like the body lives but they stole my fucking brain man what the hell BASTILA I THOUGHT WE WERE FUCKING FRIENDS
oh my god she said "to capture revan… to capture you" WHY DOES IT HURT MORE WHEN MY FRIEND BASTILA CALLS ME REVAN
STOP CALLING ME REVAN MY NAME IS LEALA MACHAI THATS THE NAME IVE HAD FOR THE LAST 16 HOURS THATS MY NAME SHUT UP SHUT UP
NO STOP CALLING ME REVAN BASTILA!!!!
malaks a fuckin pussy he keeps running away
WHAT NO BASTILA DONT SACRIFICE YOURSELF DONT DO THAT STOP BASTILA WE CAN TAKE HIM IVE BEEN BEATING HIM 1V1 HES FUCKING EASY TO FIGHT COME BACK
NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER!!!!!!! THATS;. SHE LIED TO ME BUT SHES STILL MY FRIEND BASTILA NO CARTH I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER I NEED TO TALK TO HER
jesus mary joseph and the little donkey im revan. what the hell. im revan
this whole time
JOLEE IS STILL NAKED LMAO
yes mission! yes i love you yes it just matters who i am now yes exactly
CARTH DONT CALL ME REVAN I WILL START CRYING
thank you mission and zaalbar youre real ones
THANK U CANDEROUS
jolee knew but im not pissed off he wanted me to find out on my own and it wasnt his place to say, candy-o respects my/revan’s defeating his ppl and is the first person to make revan not sound like a slur
HK WAS MY DROID THIS WHOLE TIME?? HE WAS MY ASSASSIN DROID???????? LMAO AMAZING ok i feel less bad i can be revan if it means hk was mine all along
omg yay that means i DID run into someone i knew on tatooine just like carth and bastila!
tatooine must be crazy to do as the last planet lmao like does hk immediately go WADDUP MASTER and you cant even solve bastila's mummy issues bc shes not there. good thing i already did it
LMAOO CANDEROUS BEING LIKE girl its the force anything can happen its not just convenient
am i the force's specialest girl
yay carth listened to everyone and UNDERSTOOD THAT WHATEVER SHOCK HES FEELING I AM FEELING IT MUCH MUCH WORSE GODDAMNIT
agh no what the hell i just have to go about my day now?? i just have to work now????? until i can play the rest later?? when that just happened???????? i need bereavement leave
ive closed the game but im just blankly staring at my computer screen. what the hell. what the hell man
i have never felt so violated and traumatised by a bunch of pixels
somehow it feels worse that i basically clocked it but then was immediately like nahhh thats an insane reach, anyway! like somehow that feels worse than if i'd just never thought it was a possibility
what the fuck man what the fuck
POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!
ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags
warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):
SESSION 1
whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan
ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass
only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit
my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs
hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????
omg a jedi and an evil jediii
omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately
i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight
WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO
i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful
I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown
i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve
everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???
my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen
huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine
ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK
ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits
googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip
SESSION 2
i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point
all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….
why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword
maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE
was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted
why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia
why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???
carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not
a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project
mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school
SESH 3
tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games
ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won
REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!
why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????
lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident
"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER
BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??
CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber
if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho
whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate
SESH IV: A NEW HOPE
'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo
LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU
thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary
UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE
someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes
all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch
YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but
cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council
why can everyone smell my force juju so strong
THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA
why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor
bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow
malak is like evil aang
revan is so much shorter than malak omg
are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan
poor mission ):
WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???
im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me
kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong
IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!
does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's
damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident
A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started
master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil
even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN
'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??
omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3
HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??
i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever
they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin
he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila
OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!
omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi
maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia
seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA
also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me
im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now
FSESH FIVE:
big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line
oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues
well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening
yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians
oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho
wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them
i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc
ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????
cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????
I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS
if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid
anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to
"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord
bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart
THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???
omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year
OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA
ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia
also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was
master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda
LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL
omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!
I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO
omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have
im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin
omg hyperspace from star wars
THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???
am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout
maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow
[kiwi accent] six
carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me
also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out
i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out
THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????
lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes
there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now
bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades
this isnt a combat system this is a missing system
I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL
nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties
why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission
this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl
i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon
MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????
but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE
so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie
great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills
bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY
ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever
omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem
#going off the comments and the fact im at what i assume is the third act i think this playthrough will be less than 29 hours lmao#cause im 16-17 hours in and i assume korriban and whatever comes next wont take me 12 hours total LOL#i always finish games quicker than how long to beat says its my one single gamer skill#kotor#knights of the old republic#swkotor#talk is cheap
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— Get To Know Your Mutuals
I was tagged by @lubdubology, @flowersforbucky, @kedsandtubesocks, and @always-andromeda - thank you! 🥺💖 I loved reading more about you all!
what's the origin of your blog title? saradika is mando’a for little flower, and I thought that was cute! (and then eupheme is a greek goddess of praise/acclaim, I thought it sounded pretty & would be a fun name for a blog where I get to chat about how much I love the fics I’ve read! 💖)
favorite fandoms: my current faves are TNBF 😏💕, SDV, PPCU 💖, DP+W, TLOU, Marvel/X-Men - anything I’m writing for, really!
OTP(s)/shipname: ghoulcy, poolverine, characters x my friends OCs
favorite color: soft pastels and earth tones
favorite game: gosh so many - I am always down for a farming sim, but right now I am loving SDV, BG3, FO4, and anything animal crossing
song stuck in your head: ragged wood by the fleet foxes
weirdest habit/trait? cracking my knuckles
hobbies: writing!!! reading, crafting, napping
if you work, what's your profession? want to keep it vague but it’s a lot of spreadsheets and supporting sales
if you could have any job you wish what would it be? I would love to do anything creative - number one would be an author but I’d also love to be a ceramicist or crafter. OR a combo bookstore/coffee shop/art gallery owner!!
something you're good at: getting things done under pressure
something you're bad at: lots, but mostly letting my shyness /anxiety talk me out of reaching out/doing things
something you love: friends ideas & their fics, my partner, my cat, and time with loved ones
something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: lord of the rings for sure, fallout lore, animal crossing - any of my fave games or movies really
something you hate: being too warm (you know, on top of the recent political changes and also a number of things on here)
something you collect: omg too many things to list - right now I have a little collection of calico critters, and I also love tamagotchi and pretty books (and sometimes squishmallows!)
something you forget: that I don’t need to be constantly doing something, that it’s okay to slow down and take a break
what's your love language? gift-giving but in the me-giving-you-gifts way, and quality time
favorite movie/show: anything regency/victorian (esp p&p, emma, jane eyre, and north & south), when harry met sally, lord of the rings, fallout
favorite food: pasta & boba tea 🧋
favorite animal: cats!
are you musical? I would not say so
what were you like as a child? independent, quiet, always reading,
favorite subject at school? art and english, for sure
least favorite subject? math, it’s never come easily for me
what's your best character trait? thoughtfulness?
what's your worst character trait? non-confrontational - I’d rather chew my own arm off, thanks!
if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? that I could afford to work part-time
if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? I think a fave author like Austen or Tolkien, or Fred Rogers
recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): I have an on-going rec tag on both blogs, I would so suggest any fic shared with them!! 💖
(no pressure tags 🏷️💖: @citrus-moonlight, @tarabyte3, @celestianstars, @tarrenterror25, @moonlight-prose, @zoe-creates, @zloshy, @elflutter, @ozarkthedog, @sceletaflores, @vellichormybeloved, @obiknights, @avocado-writing and you, if you see this!!)
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damn
#don’t know why me as a non horror/blood/gore/violence/etc fan#decided to start watching y/eIIowjackets alone at home after everyone else is asleep#and also at home which is bigger than my apt obviously lol and where i have my own room#im probably fine like i’m just unsettled by it so it was just an interesting choice LOL#esp like pretty much knowing what i was getting into#anywayyyyy i didn’t know any of ye/IIowjackets was on netfIix#i’ve acc wanted to watch it for a while ever since seeing stuff on tumblr LOLOL#one of the tags of a show i haven’t watched but keep unfiltered bc i don’t mind seeing things from it#so i have been spoiled but i think that helps for me who is relatively not a horror/etc fan lol 😭#idk if this classifies as horror but it does classify as smth i usually would not watch 👍#so why am i watching it idk still LOL it’s rly interesting thooooo#i love making the window super small and also completely blocking the screen except the captions#when shit is going down <3 LOL#anyway time for me to get ready for rotting in bed and continuing reading this h/eartstopper fic#to hopefully not have too bad a time sleeping lololol#me when i did this to myself#jeanne talks
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au where asriel comes home early
#this came to me in a dream but i dont remember the rest#i just think it would be pretty interesting if asriel comes home since im assuming the game#takes place over a series of days until he comes back from college#i havent kept up with deltarune since chapter 2 came out so i dont remember much abt the theories around asriel#esp what ralsei is supposed to be- im kinda suspicious of ralsei actually since he didnt mention the roaring until#the end of chapter 2. plus we dont know why hes able to go between dark worlds without freezing so im a little sus#plus noelle points out that he looks like asriel so it makes me wonder if ralsei knows abt that or ow he would react to that information#and when noelle points it out she gets cut off because she says ralsei turned to face them as she was thinking that. hmmmm#im also curious if we actually get to see asriel and what he looks like so im looking forward to that#my art#myart#doodles#utdr#deltarune#ralsei#asriel dreemurr#deltarune asriel#kris dreemurr#deltarune kris#deltarune fanart#au#i dont think id actually call it an au its more of a one off but if anyone wants to take this and run go for it ^_^#its probably already been done at some point anyway lol
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then 😭#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me 😔#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl 🥰 we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good 🤤 i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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First order of business.
Divorce Timeline.
#wip#my notes#GONNA. file it under that even though i'm being vague. but these are sketches ect ect#you see this is why i set up that poll actually. trying to figure out what direction to take#w how i wanna draw the alfonse who would become lif. this in between stage as a whole#is REALLY tricky to parse out. and god if you though alfonse's hair was fucking annoying. oh god. oh fuck.#SOMEHOW. THIS IS WORSE. IT'S SO FUCKING DIFFICULT.#if this alfonse seems absurdly tall esp in that last sketch. well it's just a sketch but also#details kept at minimum. i imagine alfonse is all geared up. heels and all (... possibly insoles.)#and moe was in the midst of getting ready/dressed. so it's flat on its feet here#man. i'm almost in the back of my mind thinking about just how stark the visual difference becomes#between degal and sissel in dunmeshi. the way you see degal change so much. and sissel stays almost hauntingly the same.#that visual storytelling between them drives me absolutely insane actually. the metaphor of#someone who you were both in the care of and made to take care of AND by all means should have been 'your age'#grow up and way past you. but for some reason. you haven't grown at all. yet you operate as you've always have#by force if you have to.#if. it seems like a dubious connection to make. in the context of whatever moe and alfonse have going on#know that it's on purpose with intent. to kill.#the thing about the moefonse dynamic. is that each have just the right things wrong with them.#that either make them click together perfectly if a bit strangely but overall it's good for them#or. on the flipside. they just make each other SO much worse. infinite spiral of So Much Worse#and this is the bad timeline so let me cook. please. pretty please.....#but also for as fucked up as i wanna get comics as a medium are just so uniquely special in the way that#i tried drafting the dialogue out. really didn't know WHERE i was going. then i started sketching#and it's like alfonse himself appeared in a divine vision on the page. like ohhhh he WOULD say that#AND. IMPORTANTLY. in the most indirect direct way possible. it's so fascinating the way it all clicks like that for me#i've talked enough though i wanna LOCK IN. just. needed to get it out of my system/get in the game ect ect#moe tag#moe lore#my art
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
#caluuart#genshin impact#genshin#art#arlecchino#god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass.#also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh.#wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below:#for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up.#it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway#which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life#I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she#-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still.#I just find that pretty interesting.#also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :(((#clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get#the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure-#-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man.........#on a lighter note :)#I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a-#-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6#I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from#UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music.#anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!
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are u a big movie fan??? are u excited for nosferatu coming out !!!! sorry im geeking out over this movie and cannot stop talking about it eek
i am a huge movie fan!!! i actually have a degree in cinema studies hehe :3 i am cautiously optimistic for nosferatu!!! i love robert eggers, i think he’s such a visionary so i trust him with such precious source material. the trailer didn’t get me as hyped as i had hoped, but it’s alright! i also love bill as monsters,,, so i am vvv excited to see his count orlok eeeee (*/ω\)
#film is my second love; literature is my first#my cat is named wesley after wes anderson HAHAHAHAHA#but anyway yes!!! i love film#like so so so much#hollywood has been pretty fucking disappointing since 2019-ish#and i'd consider nosferatu (2024) to be more of an indie production than a hollywood one#esp with focus features involved but ANYWAY#my point is: i really hope it's good :( films have been immensely disappointing in the past few years#minus a handful of true gems#let me know what u think of the film when u see it anon!!!#i probably won't be able to watch it until the new year waaaah#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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/obey me! vent/
#jessamine rambles#before i start. pls keep in mind that this is fully subjective and could just be a 'me' problem. i just want to get this off my chest#ngl i've been contemplating on whether i want to stop playing obey me. both the og game and nightbringer#idk i've been playing the game since its first month and while it's given me a lot of joy + memories + chances to befriend other ppl. i'm#pretty burned out. not to mention TIRED of my consistent disappointment with the game#the main story.....where do i start?? i actually enjoyed s1-s3 despite my qualms with the fillers and pacing but s4 disappointed me. i was#rlly looking forward to simeon's storyline and the new characters but ultimately. the devs tried to squeeze too many things into one season#not to mention that there is a notable difference in how the characters are written. i.e. beel's hunger and asmo's beauty#being watered down to running gags instead of the complexities explored in the old dg stories and chara songs#gameplay-wise. i was there when the devs raised the rewards price of the event urs and removed the demon ssrs completely#but nightbringer was the last straw for me. the amount of time it takes to grind for two games. knowing that the og app has essentially bee#abandoned by the devs?? not to mention that while the plot is interesting. i haven't touched the main story ever since the coma arc#i will give credit to the devs for improving the event stories by choosing to focus on 1-2 demons. but it has always felt like a quantity >#quality situation. esp if i were to compare it to my other fandoms#it also doesn't help that i'm currently at a point of my life where i'm questioning if i could use my time on obm for better things#seeing how the game is giving me less reasons to believe it is worth my time#idk this may also be a short-term phase since i DID get back into twst after a long hiatus and i recently got into whb#which btw has felt like a breath of fresh air despite my frustrations with the bugs and current gacha#but yeahhhh........as much as i love the obm characters and fanfics. i'm just tired#at this point i feel like the only reason why i still play the game is due to the nostalgia and so i don't waste the years of grinding#aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#this is what i get for being the type of player who only plays a few games so they can rlly dedicate their time and passion to it#that's all
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came to the startling realization just now that there are people who actually think light was totally fine and all his evilness came from the death note. ermmm. loud incorrect buzzer
#i definitely agree that the death note's power probably made him worse. but he was bad before that guys....#i mean i guess i cant totally get mad at those people since the yotsuba arc does show us a light w/o memories of being kira who is like.#pretty ok and is like n-no i could never be kira!!1! :(( so i could see how someone who isnt reading too deep into it could think that#but like. as far as i can recall we dont get tooooo much of light's inner thoughts during that time#so honestly you could totally assume for a lot of moments that he's just doing his thing hes ALWAYS done of pretending to be nice/''normal'#its hard to say. but i really doubt that light was totally good beforehand is whats supposed to be intended LOL#esp since like. he came up w the new world thing IMMEDIATELY after getting the death note#we know he was thinking about stuff like that beforehand. we can argue about semantics of how much of light's corruption is from the note#itself but you are not gonna sit here and tell me that just touching it instantly makes you evil. cmon now thats just not true#he sucks with or without the death note. it just gave him a tool to enact his suckery. it enabled him#serena.txt#death note posting#also i saw someone claim that the author said somewhere that L didnt mean his statement about light being his one true friend#LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. sorry buddy you never said that in the text itself and wrote shit that very much indicates otherwise so you're not#allowed to say that after the fact. death of the author + the final arc you wrote was bad + you're homophobic so why would i even listen to#you + L + ratio#L viewed light as his friend. sorry!#infizero.analysis
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HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT THAT CRITROLE EP WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! im SO glad we had the set up of the last one so we could have the big thrills of this!!!!!!!!! this had everything!! it had ira's bad (and good!) decisions! it had sam's out of pocket wacky can shenanigans!! it had deception and sneaking! it had badass plays and some.. eye-catching talents 👀 it had gross shit that's kinda actually sad if u think about it! it had walking (running) away from explosions (NOT a sunglasses moment this was a loserfail) it had .. terrifying parents. it had imodna momence !! :D it even had some unprecedented wins for our typically fighty/flighty adventurers!!! i will ABSOLUTELY be watching that again come monday!!!!!!!!!!
#lynx speaks#cr spoilers#now to expand upon these!!! i am THRILLED that there has been a more overt notice of orym's hex 😏#thats what i've been excited for for aaaaaaages i adore orym esp when he gets a little more fucked up#what can i say im a bit of an angst fan myself :D#fcg gave ira SUCH a bad time tho like CMON BBYYYYY 1 MINUTE ?!?!?!?!?!! yall r LUCKY yalls r cool af#also tho.... ira actually saving fearne like 👀 i see it!!! i think simply everyone likes fearne and everyone would save her 😎#and team infiltrate i loooved imogen's use of that damn .. what was it called ? the damn static bomb that was sick as hell!!!#and hey!! both teams got in and out without anyone catching on that it was bells hells helping!#is that a first for bh? cause it sure feels like it TBH like the feywild malleus key stunt did NAWT go this smoothly#even with the bumps they had they did terrific frfr#esp with imogen setting up oryms badass fighter play and launda and chet setting each other up for success#and it does FEEL like imogen is more powerful on ruidus just from the plays she makes like the static spell and how it set Everyone up#to protect them all and keep their enemies in bad positions so that bh had good positions#they barely got hits and orym and chet took the brunt of it#they got out everoa and themselves without too much hassle and i'd say team mcfuckin 'splosion did pretty fucken well too#more damage on their side but. thatssss not their fault thats mainly on ira (and fcg 😂)#gosh. goshhh. what a good fucking episode. and sorrowlord zathuda. and liliana. fuck bro.#zathuda is SCARY#and liliana i meaaaaaaan. hun what did u THINK 🧐 imogen meant when she told u to run?? 🤔 'did she know' u know the answer to that.#i was definitely excited cause. we knew the volition were gonna fail in killing liliana. but i felt in my heart that she was gonna#feel betrayed by imogen. despite creating the scenario in which imogen must 'betray' her.#i LOVE fucked up mothers cant waaaaait to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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listened to that pd anime op song and now i want to animate to it. which means ive spent the last hour watching random anime openings and taking notes o(-(
#my post#IT HAS TO BE LIKE AN ANIME OP OTHERWISE IT JUST WOULDNT BE RIGHT#and like yknow i Know what that looks like but do i understand the formula of it. why is has that distinct look to it. no so i have a page#full of notes#there are a few like distict Parts ive noticed#MC bits- where you get to see the mc(s) its like the closeup shot. usually of them standing there w a pretty bg but can have movement#ensemble shots. like establishing the fact that theres more than one character yippee#villain shots that flash for like a second each to show this show has Bad Guys oooo#stakes- shows what it is theyre fighting for or trying to accomplish#Big Battle Sequence. because this show has Action in it!#backstory/dynamics! love these bits#and of course: The Spoilers#so much spoilers#esp in mp100 good lord 99% of the openings for that show are vaggue spoilers that make no sense until you rewatch#IM STILL LOSING IT OVER THE FUCKIGN. BROCCOLI. anyways#i also tried to use deathnote for this but um that op is Insane. and also so not pd vibes but also its insane
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you are umasou
#I watched it today it was so good#im not big on dinosaur stuff but i like how it was used to approach the predator/prey conversation especially when both sides are sentient#instead of just defaulting to well since predators are meat eaters their actions are automatically immoral so their role in the story#has to match. and then when your characters /are/ meat eaters you just step around that whole topic#heart knows he has to kill and eat so there’s no avoiding it but even he knows he has agency over that#hell he even decided to hunt by himself so umasou doesn’t have to see him kill and eat another dinosaur a day after meeting him#and maybe its because it’s a kids movie but it also doesn’t make a big show over the act of hunting and eating. it doesn’t dwell on it#like yes you can clearly see them ripping into guts minus the graphic details but it doesnt go out of its way to censor it either#its played straight just like hearts mom having more kids like nobody asks who the father is or when that happened cuz it doesn’t matter#what matters is she still loves heart and encourages her kids to greet their big brother and they do!!! it’s sweet#Beckon was also an interesting touch bc they make it clear the only reason he doesnt eat umasou is bc he cant and not that he wouldn’t#but he’s still a funny and interesting character and that doesn’t get in the way of how we see him too much#same for baku he was pretty polite with heart esp from the start when he asks him if hes abandoned implying he would be prepared to#look out for him from the start. and at the end when he decides to spare him. I dont hate him at all hes just intimidating#you are umasou#doodles#I wanted to draw smth more detailed but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go with the cartoony art style#or smth closer to realistic?? so this is like. some sort of compromise I guess
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maaannnn The Fatigue has been so bad lately i just want this day to be over so i can sleep. theres literally not anything else i could do... but i have to wait...
#i hate it so much im too tired all the time. i do not know what it feels like to not be tired. i dont remember the last time i wasnt tired.#i dont think i was ever not tired genuinely. even as a little kid i remember being tired to my core#the kind of tiredness you feel tingling in your bones dragging on you everywhere you go and in everything you do. its always with me#i wanna clarify that this is a symptom of the type of thalasemia i have and not exactly chronic fatigue syndrome though. but comparable.#i just wanna say that so ppl dont get the wrong idea. but yeah.#i havent really gotten a proper break in weeks and like. i NEED those breaks i feel like my body genuinely cant keep going like this#so i just need to be officially off the clock so i can go sleep and hopefully i can get some legit rest in the coming days#idk fingers crossed bc i fear ill collapse otherwise LOL! (not funny)#and all things considered i have a pretty cushy gig rn! esp considering i dont pay rent and stuff since im like a live-in sitter#but i dont think i was built to be able to hold down any type of proper job. and this wont last forever. i dont know what ill do from here#im too eepy
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(song added by me)
#i am so Unwell rn what the fuck.#/pos So Fucking /pos#so the art ask was from u as well....elijah ur so secretive and suave this is Too Much for a girl to handle#willelmax in the arcade and byler valentine cards ur too sweet to me i actually cant Take This :')#you're right our friendship IS on another level esp now because i've never felt So Connected to someone its insane#im a little surprised but it makes sense that its you yk#like you're so naturally sweet and kind and amazing at ur core so OFC it was u#and good job i can never listen to (you) on my arm without thinking of you /pos /pos /pos /pos#this is at the TOP of on the list of the pretty little things i've been given#ik i sound like a broken record but its so insane how much i love you. i didnt know i could bond w someone over anon sm and i JUST. idk#its something abt me never getting something like this and idk never ever feeling so cared for....#you deserve all the pretty things and someone who never lies to you and someone who wants to be on your arm so bad that they write a song#about it and someone who cares about you so deeply that they think about you at night and smile so big that it hurts and someone who loves#you so much that it hurts physically and someone who thinks of you now when he listens to songs sometimes and someone who cares#about you so intensely that when he's reading messages from you she feels comforted and your words are smtg that's on repeat in her head no#and someone who wants to mail you flowers so bad because you made him feel so amazing and someone who recognises how much you deserve#and wants to give it all to you so bad and someone who loves you as much as you deserve.#and i wanna do all that and be that person so bad and i'm gonna send you a daily ask now because you mean so much to me#and you deserve someone who makes pretty things for you too and someone who tries so hard to show it#and im GONNA. im gonna try So Hard.#you'll probably get so sick of me but believe me i'm gonna make you feel as special and amazing as you made me feel. believe me.#anyway yeah. i care about you a totally normal amount#if you read all of this just know i love you so much it hurts sometimes 💗💗#my feelings towards this are : 💖💝💓💞💘💕💗⚡☀️✨⭐💫🌟#elijah my heart my love letter my special and awesome best friend my heart anon elijah#<- better tag for u because you deserve it so fucking much#elijah <33#<- ur old tag too so u can look thru my blog and see this whenever u want#heart anon#<- for me. so i can look at this for hours and find it easily so that i could complete loving elijah hours daily
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