#esp about how theyre still just dogs

[outerspace-iiinnerspace]

#she hates her family friendly PRT-assigned villain alias so much#and I love her for that#that name is Hellhound for those just tuning in#and she doesn't just hate it because it's assigned without her consent as a means of making other people comfortable#like that is a significant part but not the only part#she also hates it because there's nothing hellish or demonic about her dogs or her powers#she's making animals into larger and more capable animals but they remain animals#more than that they remain HER animals#calling her Hellhound and her dogs hellhounds by proxy just mashes her 'what the fuck did you just say about my dogs?!' button (via @thesolarsurfer)

[enden-k]

NEW CONTENT TO ANALYZE 🛐

For now have a very eepy fixation on the scene where Saran is wrapped around Vika. He's not even close to being physically similar to Vika. Does that stop him at all from being his own weighted blanket/being able to wrap himself around him? Not at all. The reason he has tentacles is to better wrap around Vika

(Something about how Saran seemed to be absentmindedly petting the scars, I wonder if it was due to the texture? Or just something he likes doing. Idk something about it is very intimate, for some reason, usually you'd see a character kissing the area so i guess it's because it's something i haven't seen before that IS a display of intimacy. Rolling it over in my brain. Like a rotisserie chicken. Good concept)

Also 'VIKA CONTROL YOUR TOOL' lmao. It's giving 'GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH' "It don't bite" 'YES IT DO-'. Protective Saran. Also a tasty concept. Good brain food too. Good stuff

(Also, the person who was saying that they liked Saran despite having some issues with eyes is so real. I have a horrible eye phobia. Eyes in general (specially eye contact) really creeps me out and every now and then there will be an illustration where i go 'ah yes this is the eye character. How the fuck did I forget that when IT'S HIS WHOLE THING' because genuinely you HAVE to be putting something in him! He doesn't creep me out! Genuinely i dont have any idea how Saran isn't just one walking trigger for me or why i enjoy him as much even when he does occasionally spook me

It's so weird! Fascinating! Genuinely feel like consuming Saran content (well. Your content in general but specially Saran related) has desensitized me somewhat to eyes. I even find myself particularly enjoying the way eyes have been drawn that day! Good characters good lore and now I can go a step above in my character analysis (in other fandoms) by watching their eyes without getting freaked out about it! Never have been so happy to have stumbled across someone's work)

-eepy 🦜. Still rotating the way they cuddle in my head. Saran is so attentive. So lovely....

imo, wrists are super intimate to touch (probably bc im very sensitive there and dont like them being touched unless its someone im comfortable w and trust); not to mention scars (esp if its SH)

saran stroking and tracing them gently is like him acknowledging them but not judging or pitying etc vika; not paying extreme attention/hyperfocus to them but also not ignoring them to the point of it becoming obvious. they are just a part of the person he loves. they are just there

also, saran just really likes to touch (so does vika) but very soft and gentle; hes the kind of person who will always gently run his knuckles down your face, hold your wrist and trace your veins or scars, stroke the back of your hand or palms, push stray locks of your hair behind your ear. its little but very intimate touches that say more than words could in this moment, more powerful than a bold touch imo

LMAO ITS FUNNY BC while im not scared of eyes at all or anything, im also just very uncomfortable and bad with being looked at/eye contact (i can manage when its a few seconds tho but i really do hate being perceived) but drawing saran so much and his many-eyes when theyre all staring straight at the viewer never fazed me lololol (prolly bc i stare at my own drawings longer than any of you, since i work on them n all)

i love how the eye-guy somehow managed to break through yalls fear of eyes tho!! saran was on his way to become a doctor before he died, does it count if i say bby still managed to "help" at least one a little bit even tho hes dead now? 🥹

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[lazaruspiss]

sladedicktalia??????? i am LISTENING

there's like. 5 fics. im so starved. i think theyre so hot and funny together!! im obsessed. also this got long so im adding a readmore. whoops.

SlaDick: classic enemies to lovers. they may try to kill each other half the time but they respect each other more than anyone else. OBSESSED with each other, Slade knows he's weird about Dick and couldn't care less but Dick is so in denial about it. they could both give explicit consent but be so antagonistic about it that it becomes unclear if "yes i want to have sex with you" is actually code for "die right now" and i think that's beautiful.

SladeTalia: they fucked! in canon! there was some bullshit plotline where Talia tried to give Slade Damian and pretend he was his son instead! ex fuck buddies who show up just to make each other's lives harder bc they wanna fuck so bad it makes them have stupid brain. also they're both hot as hell. i'm weak for big strong milf/dilf idk idk.

DickTalia: LISTEN TO ME. TALIA WOULD TREAT HIM RIGHT. THEY BOTH KNOW HOW EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING IT IS TO LOVE BRUCE. LISTEN TO M- ok aside from that. Talia is someone who tried so hard to be good, to choose to be kind. She loved Bruce because she saw how hard he tried to do good in the world. Her character has gotten considerably colder over time, in huge part due to a certain writer writing about her despite knowing nothing about her, but in universe i try and rationalize it as a growing cynicism stemming from both her father's gradually increasing cruelty and Bruce's failure to support her or commit to her or to even just respect her. She hasn't been shown to have very many people in her life who she can really trust and be close to. She used to have a good relationship with Ra's, she used to have Bruce, she's even lost Damian at this point. She feels like such a lonely character to me. And I think Dick would be able to see that, be able to understand it better than most. He's always had people who loved him, people he could turn to, but he's also ended up perpetually isolated for one reason or another. Dick and Talia both feel to me like characters who are so lonely the further they get in their lives. I could see a silent understanding there. The kind of people who would be able to find solace in simply sharing a space with each other. Neither of them like to talk about what they've been through, I think they'd like to have someone who just gets it. Trauma for trauma, you know?

SlaDickTalia: several angles available here.

1) Dick deserves some sexy older lovers who would wine and dine him and also rail him within an inch of his life and also kill for him. i am not immune to the aesthetics!! to the allure of a hot older duo double teaming their young spitfire partner!!!

2) corruption arc. u know u wanna.

3) Dick's fear of abandonment x the 2 most devoted people on the planet. if they were dating nothing bad would happen to Dick again, Slade and Talia just wouldn't allow that. smth smth, couldn't get rid of them if he tried <3

4) Bruce would hate it and that's always fun :3 not that that's hard tho, Babs is like the only one of Dick's partners that Bruce liked and that's bc he wants to keep it in the family.

5) healing.... sobs...... esp when it comes to feelings around parenthood. Those three have shit to work out and i think having some company would help.

6) They all need more people time but 2/3 of them don't get along with anybody so they're kinda stuck with Dick. that kid will forgive anybody if u bat ur eyelashes and behave well enough. He's also more likely to still see them as people despite everything they've been through, and when you're a military experiment and a semi immortal daughter of an immortal terrorist... It can be hard to find someone who looks at you like you still have a chance at humanity.

7) Slade and Talia playing a Cat Vs Dog type game with Dick in the middle. I think it's funny.

[angstics]

long post rambling about mychem eagles —

there’s been a sort of depersonalization (probably wrong term?) push by artists and audiences to separate art from artist, and for the audience to see art as fictitious rather than biographical. im thinking about mitski. it seems much of mychem (gerard’s solo work too) is transparently “based on real life”.

talking about this because im thinking about “im her kind of girl, shes my kind of boy” and variations and how it is taken as a personal statement (or reflection or something). in eagles alone this line isnt the only one taken this way (the eagles references, “all along the coast theyre waiting”, “one good turn deserves another”, “everyone likes their picture taken”, “want you to set me on fire” etc all being band commentary) but there’s some nonsense (even one of the variations, “im her kind of dog, she’s my kind of cat”?), so there’s def a mix of fiction and non. it’s a good study of songs that live in the real-fiction area. suddenly thinking of that green day song about coming out. say what you will about green day, thats a wild song to put out in 1994. songs like these that speak to a certain experience that isnt totally universal… you know something that cant be a secret because it’s said out loud, but it’s a secret because you have an understanding that feels, well, intrusive. even with non queer stuff, like foundations. it is SO revelatory of what happened with the band, ESP since theyve avoided talking about it reeeeeally. but at the end of the day theyre still assumptions. even when he explicitly places HIMSELF, HIS STORY, in the song. IT’S STILL A SONG. IT WILL FOREVER BE JUST A SONG! WHAT IS TRUTH! is an interview truth? is a conversation truth? is your therapy session truth, is your diary? what is truth? what is truth? if art cant be truth what the fuck can it be?

i just started left hand of darkness so im on le guin’s authors note. she talks about this, which is probably why im thinking about it. she says:

“The only truth I can understand or express is, logically defined, a lie. Psychologically defined, a symbol. Aesthetically defined, a metaphor.”

well i dont know… maybe the artist understands as much as the viewer. in the sense that when art is created it isnt the artist’s anymore. who said that? probably gerard. so everyone is at equal footing. it is as true to the artist as it is to the spectator — more apt, the artist is a spectator. i guess im looking for intent (the encoding). it’s weird how we sometimes decode in order to know the encode, which is by definition unknowable.

WELL. all to say that i love that line (i love all of eagles) and im glad he said it and im glad it holds whatever meaning it has that he felt compelled to not only say it but to keep it for a while… it rules… i think about it all the time and im just so happy about it lol… but it is undeniable that part of the happiness is the person saying it - in 2 senses: that there IS someone and WHO that someone is. FINI

[bluiex]

Screw it my brain rot is so real and SO INTENSE right now Im sharing my thoughts on a Cyberpunk AU for Settphel

Definitely not taking inspo for Setts background from Cyberpunk ER hehe Sett being a street kid (because im in love with league species- there will be vastayans and things in this universe. so Sett is half vas, and his mom full) Whos mom works as a EMT, long hours just to pay the bills and for Sett to go to a corpo school Sett definitely fought a lot because he is street scum going to a corpo school, and half-Vastayan- bros got it rough out here Age 16 is when he gets his first chrome, fist enhancing chrome that make him as strong as like ykno, in league lmao so then theres The Pit, he frequents this after getting the chrome (illegally may I add) and starts bringing home money ofc he tells his Ma its from work, hes found jobs no need to worry Ma, you can start taking less shifts. now this is how it deviates from CPER, Sett actually stays in corpo school (doesnt lose his mom) he climbs that Corpo ladder. But on the side, he manages to take over The Pit and many other underground gangs while doing so. He ends up getting all the way to the top of the Corpo Ladder and becoming the CEO of one of the companies Gets his Ma a lovely cottage outside of the city, away from the struggles and dangers of living there. Esp now that hes got many people out for his head- needs his Ma away and blissfully unaware of his underground shit and safe

For Aphelios..

Nomad makes more sense for Aphelios the more i think about it Growing up way outside of the city, in the "desert" area, but it wont be a desert here, itll be the mountains in this universe lol anyways yeah the religion being very stigmatized. The Solari of the city, hate Lunari. So far the hate leaks into the common people cuz the Solari is in the city and everywhere So they stay in the mountains. Though growing up Alune and Phel are faced with the Corpos wanting to encroach on their land, keep trying to buy it and stuff like that. as they get older, the elders of the clan raising Aphelios to become their assassin, to slowly start killing off Corpos, the important ones, or as important as they can get to. While Alune stays back at the clan, learning everything she can to take over as the leader once the Elders are gone in this, Aphelios just chooses not to speak most of the time, only when he has to he will. Preferring to sign with his sister and anyone who knows it

This is where Sett comes into the picture, now being the main dog of Corpos now, his company wants to forcefully take the Lunari land (under Setts nose too, because Sett isnt the kind of man to take away someones home like that. and people still hold prejudices against Sett being half-vastayan and a former streetkid, so theyd definitely not tell the big man what theyre doing and just push all backlash and blame onto him) Aphelios is tasked to assassinate Sett at a some corpo "ball" (not really a ball its a formal party or something)

At this party, of course Sett is on high alert. He always is really, a lot of people want him dead. So when a strange man comes into the party, dressed to the nines- unfamiliar face- Sett is wary, keeps a keen eye on him all night. Whenever Sett isn't looking though, caught up in conversations, he feels eyes burning into him, but when he looks in the direction its gone. What a good assassin, being able to hide from Sett like that Peaks his interest greatly After awhile, skillfully playing a game of cat and mouse with this stranger, Sett is finally able to get to one of his private rooms and simply waits, his poisoned drink in hand on a plush armchair for the assassin to walk in and make sure the job was done

Much to Phel's surprise, when he sneaks into the room, Sett is waiting for him, the smuggest grin on his face he's ever seen.

[0ystercatcher]

i have no dog in this fight and its annoying to have to specify this but genuinely the way people really were eager to justify finding this guy annoying or creepy is kind of similar to th way tras are super eager to find proof of terfness in somewhat famous feminist women and the way the fandom people are eager to find bigotry in anyone who doesnt like their fave ship or movie. the grievances they use to hammer down on someone may or may not be true in the end but it doesnt even matter lol. all that matters is you found your punching bag and once the mob forms theres no way to undo it until they go away "forever" even though most of the time they come back esp if therye rich and famous. and then when its done its time to find another punching bag and the truth of whether they really did something reprehensible or not doesnt really matter people just love to pretend theyre being righteous and fuck in some cases it might be true but if your intention isnt to always get it right then youre fucked and youre fucking up other people for stupid reasons. its all just about the vibes though because this is all culture war in the end and about keeping your slogans high up in peoples minds even though cracks inevitably appear in any social justice progressive or even not really movement. because thats how the world works lol to every thesis theres an antithesis and you have to synthesize ideally for the better or die. but the longer you pretend that nothing changes and everything you said yesterday is still viable and true today the less real and useful your idea is. you have to keep moving.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

OKAY SO OBVIOUSLYYY I HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT KNIGHT!SUGU X ROYALTY!READER but also!!! satosugu x aroace!reader sounds so interesting!!!!!! i would love to hear about them!

ALEXISSSSS TAKE A SEAT BELOVED here is ur drink… 🧃

OKOKOK IM EXCITED i was hoping u’d ask abt the knight au so i could hear ur thoughts hehe. since ur the reason it exists !! the god parent if u will…. aaa and the aroace!reader fic is v special to me too!! 🥺 that one is just a vague idea atp BUT ill get to that…

FIRST OF ALLLL knight!sugu x royalty!reader our beloved……. okok so i mightve mentioned some stuff alr but ill just run my general idea by u!! i have basically all of it outlined, just gotta get to writing </3

but basically; reader is kind of a brat. Very Much a brat. and sugu gets hired to act kind of as their bodyguard — which reader really doesnt like but sugu is just too patient and their attempts to annoy him so much that he leaves dont work LMAO … he also kinda likes the fact that theyre difficult yk its the Mother in him. he’s very boyfriend very protective very much a big ol tease

but then obv they grow closer <33 suguru really isnt anywhere near as straightlaced as he wants to appear, and both him and reader kinda have that Hunger to see the world yknow?? or to just break free of their chains. so reader brings out sugu’s more wolfish side and he eventually gets pretty lenient w sneaking them out of the castle, teaching them how to fight w a sword … etc etc. very much a Forbidden Romance but its not angsty bc i love them and i want them to be happy <33

HERE R SOME RANDOM SNIPPETS im gonna let this one cook for a while bc i need it to be perfect… putting my heart and soul into getting the alexis approval fr

”so you didn't pull your sword out of a rock?” you frown, already losing interest. lame. ”stone,” he corrects, unperturbed. ”and i'm afraid not.” he gives you a smile, barely concealed amusement swimming in his amber eyes. ”i pulled mine from an oak tree.” … ”wait, really?” ”depends,” he quips, brushing past you with a grin. ”how gullible are you, my lord?” (argh.)

he kneels. he always, always kneels. such a large man, all toned muscle and tall stature, broad shoulders and firm chest — kneeling at your feet. like a loyal dog, with a rustle of armor, a flutter of fabric, a sigh and a smile. suguru always kneels.

here it comes. effortless, perfected, your one god-given talent; an irresistible pair of puppy dog eyes. the voice that spills from your lips is hopelessly meek, pleading, so sweet you’d get cavities if you didn’t know how fake it was. ”take me outside, please?” you whine, lips jutting down into a slight pout, accompanied by a flutter your eyelashes —  suguru smiles. ”no.” a beat. frustration bubbles up inside your veins, trickling down to your wrist, and you grit your teeth. barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet into the floor. ”you’re supposed to listen to my every command!” ”still no, sweetheart.”

CAN U TELL IM A LITTLE ILL ABT THEM alexis this is all ur fault smh smh…… they mean the world to me

aaa and then!!! stsg x aroace!reader…. 👀 honestly i just realllly love blurring the lines between platonic and romantic love in my writing and thats kinda where this idea came from!! nothing’s written out or outlined, but the idea is basically just that stsg are an established couple + both in Love w reader + confess by a cold beach in the middle of the night :333 just those good ol coming of age vibes. and it obviously doesnt really go as planned bc reader is so hesitant.

i’m not sure when i’ll get to writing this one out esp since its so self indulgent pskdjdj bUT the focus will def be on reader’s feeling and the love they all feel for each other, etc etc!! ty for indulging me this one makes me v happy to think abt hehe

[shadowscommand]

i made a tierlist of how everyone feels about cats vs dogs. grinch is neither bc he likes reptiles, syd likes spiders/insects, domino likes fish, and zane never wants to have a pet. he hates having a pet. mace and d-day both still like and are cool w dogs (d-day less so, he might be strictly small dogs) but they rly just like how cats are chill on their own. nikto and yegor are from apartments they do not fuck w dogs at all they stink they shit wherever they want and theyre so noisy at night esp. mara and azur AGREE. nikto and yegor would never actually willingly have a cat but they are chill being in a house with a cat. mara and azur would love to have a kitty. raines is the only one with a cat preference to be slightly scared of dogs he doesnt like the unpredictability of untrained, big dogs. he will not Tell you he is scared of dogs (bc he doesnt think he is) but he is wary of bigger ones. he has seen what they can do to people. iskra and farah have similar views but it doesnt lead to them feeling fearful just watchful. gaz is just really picky about dogs for the most part he likes them but he hates a crusty white dog and he hates a noisy dog.

ghost doesnt gaf he doesnt want a pet. so it doesnt matter to him. but he wouldnt be opposed to petsitting for someone if necessary. bale n minotaur grew up w farm dogs so its just sort of what they enjoy most bc they could Play with them they can't play with a barn cat as much. golem really does enjoy cats but he finds training a dog to be very rewarding. velikan likes that you can play with a dog harder than you could a cat but he would carry a cat around like a baby. they are cute to him. alex and alice both just really like having worked with k-9 units so they gained a lil bias. lerch hates cats he doesnt understand cats at all. hes the biggest cat hater out of the four. krueger doesn't mind cats at all but he loves the various jobs dogs can do, esp since theyre such a help in the field either in tracking, chasing, or taking down combatants. its funny when people get scared of a dog. its not a quick kill. the rest arent as bloodthirsty as krueger about it but a lot of their love for dogs is just for how obedient they are.

frank is gone . they ate him all up .

[suffarustuffaru]

Heinkel Astrea himself >:D

YALL REALLY WENT FOR ME WITH THIS ONE.... OKAY. LETS GO.

Sexuality Headcanon: i think it could be one of several possibilities. he could be straight... he could be on the aroace spectrum... he could be bi and not even know... but we do know what he is for certain..... hes louannasexual................................................

A ship I have with said character: heinkel/louanna PLS THEYRE MARRIED OKAY......... louanna really looked at the astrea family Baggage and still went "im still gonna marry this man <3".... and like the way heinkel speaks about louanna T^TT "reinhard is me and louannas treasure..." "dont take away louannas way home"... LIKE FUCK MAN..... heinkel may be a piece of shit now but he took like those marriage vows of like in sickness and in health SERIOUSLY. its been like twenty years and hes been searching for a cure for louanna all this time. it drives me BONKERS...

A BROTP I have with said character: ......................im pretty sure you know what im gonna say LMAO. YEAH. YEAH. ROWAN AND HEINKEL?? ROWAN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BROTP THAT COULDVE EVER HAPPENED FOR HEINKEL. deadbeat alcoholic dads of extremely powerful teenage sons club??? theyre literally insane. i love how they first meet because its the most pathetic thing ever. like rowan just seeing heinkel half-dead in some ditch and just deciding to help this random ass guy??? rowan dragging heinkel away like when you grab a cat by its scruff??? heinkel going "this guy is smiling at me but its not mocking... i dont know what the fuck it means" because heinkel doesnt know what fucking FRIENDLINESS is anymore...... theyre insane. im excited for the development thats gonna come out of them meeting. they foil so much T^T

A NOTP I have with said character: anyone other than louanna :((((((((((((((( pls..... pls dont separate them shes already in a coma :((((((((((((((((((((((((( ......except ill make an exception for rowan and heinkel because. they have 95 mental illnesses and theyre ALWAYS making it everyone elses problem... theyd be so horrible together and i can only see it happening if theyre drunk and the world is literally gonna end. they are Terrible. but they Would be entertaining...

A random headcanon: heinkel gets sober in all the timelines where wilhelm is erased <33 because its like. wilihelm gets erased, heinkel and reinhards relationship is better, so its like.... things are a little better for heinkel now. obviously his whole complex feelings on reinhard are either lessened or erased entirely, but i also feel like heinkel got at least Some of his insecurities because of how wilhelm probably was as a dad. and bc wilhelms gone - WELP nice going heinkel half of your insecurities are gone!! so, well, maybe heinkel wants to be fully sober and present for reinhard now. he wants to be in reinhards life as his dad...

General Opinion over said character:

if i met him irl i would immediately pull a pridebaru and poison heinkel's drink. HOWEVER, i am also screaming and crying over heinkel's heartbreaking tragic corruption arc where he goes from a very earnest and hardworking person whos trying his best with all the shitty cards handed to him. and then he turns into *GESTURES TO PRESENT DAY HEINKEL*

i need him to get his shit together and have the most GRUELING, PAINFUL, NAIL BITING redemption arc of all time. he's just so fucking pathetic 24/7 it's like... like im sitting here and reading every scene hes in and im going, god hes like one of those sad dirty exhausted stray dogs you see backed into a corner and theyre just like growling and snapping at everything that comes close. like we vaguely know that its Possible for him to get his shit together at least a little bit (see: pride if), and we Know that heinkel used to be a very affectionate person to louanna and reinhard, and the fact that tappei said he'd make heinkel the mc if subaru didnt exist indicates that heinkels Probably gonna have some insane development, especially given the debut of the rowan-heinkel dynamic... i cant wait for it T^TT i just like how hes Terrible... but hes also clearly very human. what a well-written character. i hope he goes for anime onlys kneecaps in season three.

[draw-you-coward]

yeah maybe you reblogged that thing like 2 days ago but I'm going slow right now so if you still want to do the character ask thing, maybe mr Aloth Pillars of Eternity?

ogh im just happy to get one! lol

First impression: he's just a sweet lil lad. a sweet boy.. he seems so nice and shy and somewhat pathetic... i take pity on the lil squishy wizord in deadfire: damn aloth's old and cynical now lmAO

Impression now: this is tough bc i've slooowly started replaying deadfire and i forget most of my impression of him 🤔 I remember thinking that he makes a lot of very funny snarky comments and I liked how they gave him nervous stims esp with his hands. he just seems so done with all the bullshit and i feel that. I do wish he still had some of that sweet ladness left under all that cynicism though... but I think Rake thinks it's a little sexy

Favorite moment: bruh he propositioned Rake in the bathhouse literal seconds before tekehu did... i've been wanting to write a fic about it. besides that, there was a bit in the first game where rake failed a str check and aloth also failed a str check to help him and dislocated his shoulder and I just thought it was so sweet :-) so little rng things i guess... although i do like the comment he makes after you kill the memory monster in the wael dlc

Idea for a story: ok ok u know how i do like. vignettes. well i've been wanting to replay deadfire and sloowly make a fic abt their relationship? starting with the first time they enter the bathhouse maybe ahaha it'll be more playful in tone. my writing's improved a lot since i started the rake series and I still think about one comment I got that said they were so glad i was writing because barely anyone else did male watcher/aloth... 💀 i wrote like. three things and i still feel guilty about it sometimes

Unpopular opinion: oo boy! i feel like i stay so far away from fandom that i dont know what anyone thinks anyways LOL. ig just a general thing for me which is I'm not really a fan of romance? shippy stuff kinda gives me the ick 😅 For characters like aloth (esp bc i. dont like men lmao) I'm mostly drawn to their vibes and personality, and I really liked his whole wizard deal plus iselmyr and the abusive dad backstory ; i feel like there's a LOT of potential to dive into how that affects him that no one really explores

Favorite relationship: with edér :)) just two good ol boys. i like how theyre pals

Favorite headcanon: oo i dont really make these for characters esp if I like canon. i guess i'd like to further expand on how iselmyr functions for him, esp since in game it doesnt seem to follow specific rules or guidelines. does she come out when he's triggered? does she come out just to yell at me for friendly fire or to be upset when my unkillable ghost dog dies? how did he learn to function well in combat if she delivers attacks sometimes ("i dinnae con the spellybooks" girledfriend then woter u doing here? 😔) i guess i'd headcanon that there'd be a learning curve, esp since his first instinct was to fight/suppress her 🤔

from here pls feel free to send me more i love attention

[botseeksbot]

finished s7🖕

started off so so so good (so so so so so so good) but then it turned to suckkkkk . brocks writing just hasnt been great since s3 w a few good eps here and there but just turned to major suck when you see him w the ventures . guild operative and osi operative romance got too much screentime . still dislike 21 and i think him being the monarch's "best friend" just makes them boring . could have done smth irt him being alone w his wife gone and w a henchman he doesnt care for (<- the sudden jump of him loving 21 in s5 was so annoying) or smth . i feel the blue morpho could still work w that that would be fun a dedicated henchman working w a boss who will do whatever to rise to the top even if the boss doesnt like him . speaking of . total drop in the whole BM thing and kind of made it stupid to have him kill villains to rise the ranks but then they just have him do random ass jobs and hes level 10? kind of makes his whole speech in PfT in 6 abt GCI levels kind of stupid . the loss of focus on the ventures in general just does not appeal to me i like the monarchs and conjectech but im not watching the show for them . also did i mention how much brock sucks . should have been more focus in hank and dean esp of theyre gonna have deans speech in the finale (rly good actually did make me sniffle)

irt def more things to explore ik you are a gayboy . would have been interesting to see him come to terms w being a superscience experiment by bonding w jared bc i feel like jared would have some talk abt it not being so bad and bring up the positives (did like sirena's comment on the clone thing though) . rly funny he mentions jared in his speech but you never see them interact s7. his whole character has been a mess since s4 though (actually all the ventures have been but whatever) . this was a characterization that pissed me off though similar to his daddy in s4 for me . i like him missing hank and wanting to go back to being just them and him missing the compound . could have been really good if they actually focused on the family aspect of the show...!!! really wish they fucking did but they ruined my family...!!! that fucking osi dog...!!!

hank didnt really add anything im sorry that happened to you babyboy. hank gets focus but nothing really happens to him. not much to say but he was cute and sigh again a lot of missed opportunities for the Whole Reason I Watch The Show

rusty was more similar to his s4 character but not quite but still annoyed me except brock annoyed me more (major sucks btw) so rusty is safe from my wrath . idk where im going w this now . i wish it was more about the ventures . so many lost opportunities since s4 . everthing brock touched turned to suck i cant even appreciate him shirtless and bloody and killing people why are you such an osi doormst this season . brock sucks so much . rusty really adding nothing but was oh so perfect the 1st 3 eps . i want the family fuck off everyone else the monarchs should have stayed background/main antags or smth i dont need the focus same w billy and white my god i just want the ventures . so many things that could have been explored but werent so instead i have to see kimberly and the guild dude try to have a romance across several episodes w development and tragedy and everything but my ventures get nothing irt to any of them except ig deans speech that comes out of left field bc i havent seen the family interact in what feels like forever . also brock sucks

[jackienautism]

saw someone call re3make jill valentine a brat and i havent been the same since

(rant under cut. was just gonna rant in the tags but i reached the limit LOL)

take everything i say w/ a grain of salt. since i havent played the og re3 nemesis or re5 andits been a while since i played the remake. i just finished playing re1 though

ANYWHO. this person basically said smth along the lines of. old game jill was noble and kind yet still human. while remake jill ws just a bitter bitch w/ a shit personality. [jill voice] ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU /FUCKING/ KIDDING ME?

LIKE. i dont know what goddamn gamesw e played but jill in re1? her personalitu is nonexistent!!!!! maybe its the misogynistic tendencies of the game maybe its the subpar voice acting and writing thats throwing me off BUT. i reaaaaaally dont think there's anything special that stands out abt re1 jill

i get theyre probably just bitter over them remaking a beloved old game or w=fuucking whatever but GOD@!!!!!!! sorry tht jill was rightfully being a little bitter bitch towards a group thats been making her life hell for th past who knows how many months! ILIKE. jill didnt watch almost all her friends and colleagues DIE and get betrayed TWICE in re1 JUST to act friendly towards anything associated with umbrella. yeah ofc barry def made up for it after doing what he did w/ wesker but GOD tyou think jill is going to easily trust anyone aftee that whole debacle? ESPECIALLY it being between 2 STARS members? aka people she THOUGHT she could trust without any afterthoughts? NO!

hr acting like an asshole makes sense for the trauma she experienced in re1 AND what she went through prior to re3! umbrella has purpoisely been making her paranoid due to the information she has and investgations shes been conducting iirc…. and they even make a whole ass bioweapon to track her down and kill her LOL I DONT THINK SHES GONNA BE VERY FRIENDLY WITH UBCS….. LIKE BE FOR REAL DOG an d also carlos' unnecessary dcomments and advances towards jill that she made VERY CLEAR were unwanted and uncomfortable? she has every right to be mean and retaliate

like. i think jill had every right to be a 'bitter brat' towards these people LMAO and even despite ALL THAT.... sjhe STILL decides to stick with the group and work with them…. because why? THE SAKE OF THE TRUTH GETTING OTU IS AT STAKEq!!!!!!!! at this point. jill def couldnt give LESS of a shit abt her own life. hell. look at how shes been living for the past few months! what matters is the whistle FINALLY getting blown on umbrella.... adn thats what she displays by working with UBCS! aka a group she has ZERO trust in! she shows how much she CARES..... albeit in the mosr destructive way but. this talk about lack of nobility and sense of justice is such bullshit LOL

and the funny thing is? SBE WAS RIGHT TO NOT TRUST THEM..... THEIOR MISSION WAS TO KILL DR BARD AKA THE ONLY PERSON IIRC WHO HAD AN ANTIDOTE TO THE VIRUS..... jill jhas MORE than enough reason to act wikth abhorrence when it comes to UBCS, so yeah, MAYBE its a bit frustrating rto wtahc the way she acts but FUCK does it make SOO MUCH SENSE.... she didnt go through + hasnt been going throughALL THAT just to be brushed off as unreasonably bitter

like yeah thr whole kindness thing was thrown out the window but sometimes.... that's what happens when you're put through a bunch of garbage out of your control...... it HARDENS you it WEARS YOU DOWN....... and jill experiencing this pipeline fits w/ all the bullshit she lived through

and just saying but it would’ve been Looooooads better and funnier if jill remained a little bitch for the entirety of the game. like. it’s just ? more in character for her, esp for what little character / context we’re given at the VERY beginning. her remaining snarky and shit would’ve made more sense… especially considering her situation AND how we’re meant to perceive her… she doesn’t seem like someone who’d just throw away her initial (CORRECT, BTW) opinion / instinct all because of one (1) save from some dude… it just doesn’t make sense

any normal human being would’ve acted the way jill did towards them?????? like? especially after reading about and only IMAGINING the intense and awful shit she must’ve been subjected to both while in and out of stars. i’m SORRY but one gesture (even if it WERE saving her life) from some random guy i just met isn’t going to magically erase all the trauma i faced from umbrella themselves???? like UGH god fucking hell. i understand that you can only make something such as a video game so long or so short but come ON man!!!!!! if you SERIOUSLY want to include this sort of development in a game like resident evil, ever heard of this thing called good pacing? FNSHCJSKKFS like??????? even within game this all would have occurred under 24 maybe even under 12 hours???????? it’s just. in no way in under ANY circumstances is this sort of change of opinion realistic! esp not for jill and what she’s had to go through! like [jill voice] BITCH your corporate overlords have been making my life HELL for the past who knows how long! i may be fine with Carlos the Person, but i am NOT fine with Carlos in UBCS. and until that title is separated from your name, i will Not be associating with you outside of this mission!

like it makes sense that jill would so quickly comply bc 1. her life is in danger and sticking w these guys may increase her survival thus getting the truth That Much Closer to exposure and 2. her cooperation may help tons of lives… and of course she’s not going to turn away from saving others. soooo. and just to clarify, jill’s own life is obv the LEAST of her concerns here. like. the only reason why she’d prob want to stay alive is bc. she has all this dirt on umbrella! dirt that NEEDS to reach the light of day! that’s prob one of the ONLY reasons why she hasn’t given up completely, the information that ONLY she has and so it HAS to make it to the people!!!!! if it’s Huge and Important enough for umbrella to create a whole ass fucking buffed BIOWEAPON bitch to hunt down the remaining stars members? yeah. i have a feeling it’s incredibly important for the world to know

and just. in a writing sense? i think it would’ve been much more entertaining if jill kept that act up until like idk they realized that hm. i don’t think i wanna be associated w these bitches (umbrella) anymore. regardless, on the other hand, i still can def see jill’s demeanor softening as the game progresses (esp after she bonds w the people themselves and NOT the platoon members. and after they help each other out) but like overall? i just. i can’t see her letting her guard down that easily! it just isn’t fucking right! or realistic! it’s a bunch of bullshit actually!

AND ITS ONLY WITH THE GIRLS TOO..... GIRLS CAN NOT ACT IN RESPONSE TO THEIR LIFE AND BRAIN ALTERING TRAUMA WKITHOUT BEING DEEMED AS ABUSIVE OR BITTER OR A BITCH..... THE SAME FUCKING THIGN HAPPENED TO THE FANDOM'S PERCEPTION OF MIA IN RE8 LMAO......

i WANT more girls to be bitter! to be upset! to be assholes! to be nasty! to be little shits! whether justified or not! i WANT more girls to be different from the cookie cutter safe depictions everyone EXPECTS a women to be! and don't get me wrong resident evil is FAR from accomplishing this goal LMAO i just believe jill is and COULDVE been such a great example

this went all over the place (i copy and pasted another note of mine discussing the topic while also adding new thoughts) but in conclusion: let jill valentine be a little bitch. there's nothing wrong w/ her being a little bitch. i ENCOURAGE her to be a little bitch. it makes sense for her character and what she's gone through, and while criticizing her demeanor is valid, taking her behavior out of (very much needed) context isn't ok or right. and sayinf that she lost all her nobility and sense of justice is just straight up wrong. jill did everything she did in the re3make BECAUSE she cared more for the lives of others, her own personal feelings clearly meant nothing, seeing how she still helped UBCS out despite her inital harsh reaction to them.

[vazelbeak]

Anyways i saw the leak so heres my thoughts on it!

The beginning part is cute. I LOVE the fly dogs and wish they weren't forgotten about.

I think it would make more sense if Striker was kidnapped and brough to Crimson since he may want someone . If Crimson is running out of money and Striker is trying to get money those feel conflicting. So if he kidnapped Striker (believable since based on prior fights he seems to struggle the moment he's outnumbered.) And threatened to kill him if he failed it might give more reason to the circumstances. (And if we want Crimson alive perhaps he can't afford to kill Striker after IMP has cut down so many of his men)

Fizz and Ozzies relationship being the worst kept secret feels conflicting in a way esp if the news dropped just tofat. Like Fizz hides the newspaper (and how were they found out? Like wouldnt this be a problem?) So maybe itd help if Striker looked at that news article when being told he had to catch someone important and then moves it down where we get the shot of Fizz and Blitzø fighting. Indicating to us its Strikers lucky day because the news just broke this guy is someone Ozzie might shell out quite a bit of money for.

The backstory I didnt like the choppiness of admittedly. I hope we get a more in depth one that gives especially Fizz's backstory more time to hit.

That or maybe he tries to steal Ozzies dogs (presuming Fizz to be his dog walker and because Fizz is still holding the leashes and in a fight with Blitzø theyre both pulled up with them?).

Their resolution feels like it was missing the issue. It wasnt just that Blitzo ruined Fizz's life its that he actively walked away when Fizz was severely injured. And Blitzø's "i lost something too" thing feels like its talking down to Fizz as though he wasnt there and close to Blitzøs family. I think maybe itd work if they made each other feel bad in a way that makes each of them reconsider their view of one another like:

Fizz: You hated that I was better than you so you decided to take it all away from me!

Blitzo: It was an accident!

Fizz: Oh boo hoo. Do you want a participation medal or something.

Blitzø then grabs Fizz's shirt both with tears in his eyes and seething with anger. " I lost things that day too Fizz! Where do you think this scar came from?"

Then we get Blitzos flashback and perhaps they dont bond over "nobody told me you came to visit!" (Which why is that tossed aside and why is nothing gonna be done to keep it from happening?) But instead misjudging each other and assuming.

Speaking of that since fire seems to be different colors based on rings, if that fire isnt visually different im gonna struggle to buy Blitzø not at minimum being afraid of human fire based on appearance because this:

Doesn't help. Unless wrath fire looks similar to human fire, (meaning because Wrath is orange Blitzo should presumably be scared based on appearances.) It also would bring to question isnt the point of the fire breathing trick the danger?

I could see this being a intended swap out. That they use human fire in shows bc it looks like wrath fire to minimize injury. But this means assumably the fire from the birthday cake shouldnt be green orange or blue (colors IIRC we saw and Blitzo wasnt bothered by) its not going against canon yet. The fire color will determine that.

Btw if Stolas loves words and reading contracts youd think he'd remember a spell from his book.

Next i hope Fizz's song sounds better in the show. It wasnt bad! Admittedly tho i wish they played into Crimsons men falling into the song because I can follow Crimson and Striker confused but everyone just standing their confused i feel drags down the scene a bit. A lot of the time moments like these work well if the people watching get into the song in a way where the rug is pulled out from under them when the song ends. For examples:

You're Welcome from Moans.

Just Can't Wait to be King from The Lion King

And arguably the I Have a Dream song from Tangled.

Now as for the end my main thing is Ozzies "youll never leave the palace without protection again" before Fizz even expresses being afraid feels infantilizing. I think it overall wouldve worked better if Ozzie sent Fizz to get milk alone because he doesn't want them seen together in a domestic context.

So by the end Ozzie says he'll never let Fizz go anywhere protection to which Fizz responds that he can handle himself (he and Blitzo did work together to get out of there) but he'd love if they went places as a couple.

Ill prob do a rewrite in the future but for now I wanna see how the final product ends up before i go into that!

[my313]

u spoil us so much w the dual endings !!! i always was a taehyun truther but i couldnt help but read the beomgyu ending too and i.. have so many thoughts maybe im just biased cuz beomgyu HDKDJJD

i feel like the gyu ending turned out as best as it could cuz i loved seeing yn walk beomgyu like a dog (like he should be after all that 😡) esp the fact that he never wants to not be around them and is actively changing his life for the better n for yn

also the scene in beomgyu’s ending with tyun confronting yn about how theyre still so obviously in love with gyu is insane…

these lines specifically made my stomach cave in i physically gasped like i was GUTTED

“and being in love with another man while you’re with me is unfair to me.”

“i want someone to love me without having to try. i just want them to love me, just because.”

agh nini !!! you are so amazing ty for writing 😭

to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter four: the end

pairing(s): kang taehyun x you, choi beomgyu x you

summary: the end.

genre(s): angst, fluff (who else cheered?), romance, angst with a happy ending

word count: 3.3k

notes (please read): y'all... did you seriously think that i, nini niningtori, the pushoveriest of pushovers, was actually gonna leave either taehyun or beomgyu shippers in the dust? BE REALISTIC! yes, there will be a taehyun AND a beomgyu ending. sorry beomgyu truthers, but you'll have to read through the taehyun ending to get to the beomgyu ending. i will mark where taehyun's part ends, so if you wanna end up with him, you'll have to stop reading there. anyway, happy reading! see ending for more notes!

“tyuuunn,” you whine into your phone’s speaker. you can’t tell how it's been since your final conversation with beomgyu, but now you’re drunk and all you can think about is taehyun. about his kindness, how happy he makes you feel, and how much you want to give him all of that in return.

“what is it, honey?” he coos. even in your inebriated state, you can hear the smile in his voice and it makes you wanna smile, too. 

“miss youuu,” you groan. he laughs at your childishness and you can feel just how much he’s doting on you. it’s a relatively new feeling, being cared for like this, but it’s one you welcome with fervor.

“let me pick you up from that stupid bar and you can stay the night. how’s that sound?” 

“mmm, hurry up,” you pout, and he just laughs again. god, you’re gonna feel so embarrassed by your neediness come tomorrow morning and he can’t wait to tease you. 

taehyun is so eager to see you, he almost gets pulled over twice while making his way to the bar. he just can’t wait to see how cute you’ll look in his arms, all whiny and grumpy and begging for affection. and he’ll baby you, like he always does, because you deserve it. when he had heard about your appalling history with beomgyu, he couldn’t believe how someone could treat a person as sweet as you so cruelly. truth be told, you do have a bit of a softer personality, but that only evoked the need to protect and cherish you in taehyun. he can’t fathom the idea that somebody would see someone so pure and decide to take advantage instead of nurturing that innocence. his friends keep saying he’s a sucker, and they’re probably right, but he’ll happily be one for you. 

he’s lost in his thoughts when he pulls into the parking lot of the bar you’re in, but his dopey grin drops the second he sees your dreaded ex stumbling away from the building. his face is red and he’s feverishly wiping away tears and snot. taehyun is a smart man, so he can easily piece together what must have happened. the thought that you were still thinking of taehyun in this moment comforts him. you had run into your ex and instead of running back to him, you’re thinking of your new boyfriend. what a relief. taehyun has always known you were still a little broken up about your split with beomgyu. he came into this relationship fully knowing that, but he liked you so much, he really didn’t care. maybe it was rash of him, but he thought it was worth taking a chance. he thought you were worth taking a chance and, so far, he had been correct. 

he parks and stays in his car. if he were a petty person, he might ignore beomgyu and just walk right by him with his arm wrapped around your waist. taehyun, however, is a good person. so good, in fact, he waits for beomgyu’s friend to pick him up before leaving his car to find you.

when he enters the bar, he scans the crowd before he finds you sitting with your friends. your phone is to your ear and it only takes a few seconds for his own to ring. he smiles when he sees your contact photo (the one you both took on a date to your favorite frozen yogurt shop) appear on his screen. he rejects the call and watches you pout before striding over to you and placing his hand on your shoulder. you turn around with a scowl, but your features immediately melt and you grace him with a toothy grin. you excitedly squeal and wrap your arms around him. he matches your enthusiasm as he peppers your face with kisses.

beomgyu, who has very unfortunately come back to get his phone, watches it all and it’s enough to make him nauseous. he’s in such a daze as he watches you two that he barely registers his own friend honking at him to hurry up. he sees the afterimage of you leaning into taehyun’s touch and accepts the fact that you’ve truly moved on and won’t be coming back. he replays the last conversation you had and he decides he’ll hold onto your words forever. they’re all he has left, after all.

-

you’re so used to taehyun’s apartment that even though you’re so drunk you’re seeing stars, you’re still able to navigate it with ease. taehyun sits you down on his couch and kneels while removing your shoes for you. 

“so chivalrous,” you giggle. 

“anything for my princess,” he replies cheekily with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. 

“why are you so nice?” 

“because i like you,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“i like you, too.” you whisper with a blush. your gaze becomes heated and he cups your cheeks while gently guiding your face towards his. his touch is soft, and his lips? even softer. 

he doesn’t push for more. you’re drunk and vulnerable at the moment, so he graciously grabs some of his clothes for you to change into and waits for you to come to bed. when you do, you plop down and he pulls you into his arms. you smile at his earnestness. he locks his arms around you and, for the first time in your life, a man is making you feel so happy and secure you can’t help but melt into the feeling. you feel safe. you feel loved.

“i really like you, you know?” he whispers into your hair, and it’s all you can do to keep your heart inside of your chest. 

“i know. i really like you, too.” and you do. things with taehyun are still new, but as his breathing slows, you realize this is how love should be, and you think you want to be with him for a long, long time.

beomgyu's ending

when you wake up, taehyun’s arms aren’t wrapped around your waist like they usually are. you assume he’s just gotten up to start breakfast, which is a new tradition you two have started. when one of you wakes up before the other, they tend to baby the hungover one, which is, honestly, usually you. taehyun never complains, though. you were surprised to find that it’s actually in his nature to nurture, even when he vehemently claims otherwise.

you walk out of his room, clad in his hoodie and sweatpants, half expecting to see him slaving away in front of the stove, but you’re unprepared to see him sitting listlessly on his couch. he doesn't even seem to notice you when you walk in. strange, you think.

“good morning, babe,” you greet with a serene smile. when he is broken from his reverie, he does not match your smile at all, though.

“good morning,” he says awkwardly, devoid of any of the affection you’re so used to seeing.

“what’s wrong?” you ask, genuinely confused. something must have happened. you wonder if something went wrong with the big project he’s been talking about for work. you hope that’s not it — he’s been far too stressed about it, so you would give anything for that not to be the case.

“i… i don’t think i want to talk about it,” he replies.

“are you sure? maybe it’d make you feel better,” you try to reassure. you’re pretty much convinced it is about work now. 

“i don’t think it would, actually.”

“oh, baby, it’s gonna be alright. whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together, okay? i’ll help you with whatever i can.”

“i don’t think you can help me with this,” he laughs bitterly. this confuses you. why is he acting so weird? you’re trying to find the right words, but he beats you to the punch.

“we need to talk.”

“...about what?” 

“about beomgyu. you said his name in your sleep,” he says flatly. your heart sinks. oh no.

“... what?” you ask, but you kind of already know.

“i said, you said beomgyu’s name in your sleep. you were crying, too, actually.” you’re silent at this. the tension is so palpable, you completely freeze.

“i… i’m so sorry,” you try. “i didn't mean —” 

“i know you didn’t mean to. that's the problem. you never mean to, but i’m not concerned about your intentions,” he sighs. “i knew from the beginning that you missed him. i thought i was okay with it, too, but i know now that i’m not. and i can’t be.” 

“what are you saying?” you ask, lips trembling and eyes watery.

“i’m saying that i don’t think you’re over him. i know you know that, but i don’t think you realize just how hung up on him you still are.” you’re speechless at this. “listen, i like you, i really do, but do you like me?”

“of course i do! i really, really like you!” you insist, tears brimming in your eyes. nobody could ever say you don’t like taehyun. it’d be impossible not to like him, actually. there’s so much to like about him, in fact, if someone asked you to name every good thing about him, you wouldn’t even know where to start. 

“you might like me, but you love him. even when you’re with me, you can’t help but think about him, right? and if he were different, if he did everything i do for you, you'd take him back, right?” he looks a bit hopeful, but he already knows your answer. that’s enough to make your tears fall. 

“but he didn’t treat me the way you treat me. he has never made me as safe as you make me feel,” you answer weakly. 

“but he can,” he shoots back. “and i think you know that he would if you let him. even if he doesn't, you’ll always wonder what could’ve happened if you had just taken a chance, won’t you? and you can’t do that if you’re with me.” he’s right, and you know he’s right. so far, you’ve been trying to push thoughts of beomgyu out of your head, but his words have continued to haunt you. all the happiness taehyun has given you is incomparable to anything beomgyu ever has, so why do you miss him so much? 

“do i just take him back then? after everything he’s done? that’s unfair to me.”

“and being in love with another man while you’re with me is unfair to me,” he explains patiently. you still at this. you've done to taehyun exactly what beomgyu had done to you. the worst part? you didn’t even realize it until now.

“i’m… i am so sorry. i didn’t mean to be unfair to you. i tried, i swear i did. and if you’ll let me, i’ll keep trying.”

“i don’t want you to keep trying. i want someone to love me the way you love beomgyu. i want to be with someone who loves me without ever having to try. i just want them to love me, just because.” you have never thought about it like that. yes, your feelings for beomgyu had the privilege of taking years to grow, but you never had to force yourself to love him. you just… did. and now, as you look at taehyun, you realize you always will. but taehyun is so, so good. you can’t bear to not have him in your life.

“b-but i don’t want to lose you,” you plead between your tears. 

“and you don’t have to,” he says softly. “we can still be friends, right? i like you too much to not have you in my life, even if it’s not the same as it is now.” you furiously nod in agreement. even now, he’s so incredibly kind and patient that you can't believe it. he’s giving you an out and he seems to understand you without you having to explain.

“always,” you say with a sob. he pulls you into a hug and you can’t help but kiss his cheek for the last time. “thank you.” 

“of course, i just want you to be happy,” he says with a smile.

“why are you so nice?” and you must’ve asked him this question about a million times in the duration of your relationship, but you can’t help but ask one last time.

“‘cause you deserve it.” he replies simply as he pets your hair. “now go. he needs you.”

-

and needs you, he does. beomgyu is currently lying in bed, thinking about the scene of you and taehyun all in each other’s arms. that scene will haunt him forever, along with every unsavory word and action he’s ever said or done towards you. he doesn’t mean for the tears to fall, but they do, anyway. he’s stuck in this endless purgatory before he hears sharp knocking on his door. heeseung must be back for god knows what. hopefully, it’s not to tease him again, but he knows once he sees his teary eyes, he won’t let it go. 

“oh, fuck off,” he yells, pulling the covers over his head, but the knocking doesn’t stop. eventually, he stalks over to his door and swings it open. “i said, fuck—” his words die on his lips when he sees you standing there looking as beautiful as ever. your eyes snap up to meet his and he can’t help but feel his breath catch in his throat.

you look very small in this moment, with your arms folded and your foot tapping, almost like you don’t even know what you’re doing here.  

he beckons you in before you can leave.

“what… what are you doing here?” he asks tentatively as he offers you a seat on his couch. you don’t take it. your eyes, however, study him mercilessly. he is suddenly all too aware of his current sloppy appearance. he tries to discreetly fix himself up by smoothing out his hair and clearing his throat. he hopes you don’t notice how insecure he feels right now, but you do. of course you do, how could you not? you know him far too well. 

“what you said last night… do you mean it?” you ask quietly.

“i did! i mean, i do. i really do,” he answers panickedly. you have to know how sincere he is. what is this? closure for you? 

“i’ve thought about it,” you begin slowly and he gulps. you’ve thought about him? “and i think… i think i’d like to try.”

“what do you mean?” he’s trying not to get his hopes up, but he’d be lying if he said his heart isn’t racing faster and faster with each passing moment.

“i mean, i think i want to let you try. but i won’t let you walk all over me. not anymore. if you think i’m the same person i was before, you’re wrong. i’ll give you one chance, but you’d better—” you don’t get to finish your sentence before he’s taking you in his arms and holding you so tightly you almost can’t breathe.

“thank you,” he says shakily, kissing the top of your head. “i love you. and i promise, i swear on my life i will be better. i’ll do whatever it takes. just don’t leave me again, okay?” he can’t control his tears now, and neither can you. 

“okay,” you say so softly, he almost doesn’t hear it, but thank god above that he does. 

after what feels like forever, beomgyu, finally releases his hold on you. his misty eyes scan your face and his treacherous gaze keeps finding its way to your reddened lips. he’s silent for a few seconds before he says:

“can i kiss you?” he asks so meekly you almost can’t comprehend that it’s the beomgyu you know and love.

“mhm,” you answer, and before you can say anything more, his lips are on yours. you didn’t know a kiss could be teeming with so much emotion. you didn’t know a kiss could be filled with such an ache. he’s gentle, like you’d break with even a modicum of more force, but the kiss is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced in that you’ve never felt more worshiped in your life. he’s holding you reverently, like you’re the most precious thing in the world. and, to him, you really are.

“i just realized something,” you remark after breaking away. he looks like a man starved wirh the way his eyes are alight with a hunger you’ve never seen before.

“what is it?” he asks, still a little nervous that you’ll come to your senses and leave him for good.

“i didn’t tell you about taehyun. you didn’t even ask.”

“should i have asked?” oh god, were you cheating on taehyun right now?

“i guess not, but you need to know he’s my friend now. if we’re gonna be together, you’ll have to be okay with that.” 

beomgyu doesn’t know how to feel about it. truthfully, it’s making him incredibly insecure, but he feels he has no right to make demands. not when you’re being so merciful. however, he wants to try to communicate with you. that’s what being a healthy relationship should be like, and he’ll try his damnedest to make sure you two get off on the right foot, too. this time, at least. 

“to be honest with you, it makes me a little… a little scared. i don’t want you to leave me for him.” you gently cup his cheek and he leans into the touch, grabbing your hand as if he’s afraid you’ll drop it if he doesn’t hold it there. 

“i won’t do that. i would never hurt you like that. and taehyun is a great guy, you might actually like him a lot under different circumstances. i’m not saying you have to be friends with him, but i would like it if you gave me a chance to prove to you that he and i can be friendly without you having to be insecure.”

“okay,” he says with a smile. because how could he say no to you? 

-

loving beomgyu was never the problem. you’ll always love him, that much you know, but you were honestly just nervous that he’d fall back into his old, shitty habits. he hasn’t, and thank god for that, but new problems have arisen that you sincerely did not anticipate. for example, the fact that he constantly wants to be with you. that could very well be because you told him his friends were shitty and they made you feel bad, so he’s in the market for some friends who won’t actively make his life worse. it’s not a bad thing, per se, but it’s funny how much a man who previously seemed to only barely tolerate your presence can’t seem to get enough of you. it’s flattering, really. 

“baby, can’t you just stay over again?” he whines.

“no, beoms, i have to work early tomorrow morning and you’ll just keep me up all night,” you reason.

“i won’t! i promise, i won’t!” he exclaims.

“that’s what you always say,” you snort. “yet i’m somehow always late to work the next day.” 

“i’ll be good, i swear!” he sounds so desperate you almost wanna believe him. 

“yeah, right,” you say with a shake of your head. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“what if you moved in? or i can move in? that way, we’ll see each other more and i won’t have to keep you up all night because i’ll know i can just see you the day after!” he seems extremely proud of himself for cooking that one up, but you’re still stuck on the moving in together part. this is a serious, serious step in your relationship. one you had not even hinted at taking, even during your first go together and that had been almost a full year. 

“are you serious?” you hesitantly ask. 

“so serious,” he answers. 

“... fine.”

“and you’ll stay over tonight, right? to celebrate.”

“... fine,” you relent. he actually audibly cheers at this. god, you almost regret agreeing. 

notes pt. 2: hi... i hope both endings were satisfying! if not, i did my best. anyway, feedback is always craved to a disgusting degree. love u guys!

[taglist]

@my313 @woncheecks @superbbananananana @zzhyuu @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @defnotleee @everythingvirgoes

masterlist

[landofgay]

thank u @lostghosts for tagging me!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Named after Poison Ivy from the cramps 😎

2. When was the last time you cried?

Probably really not that long ago I cry a LOT especially lately lol. I'm depressed 😎😎😎

3. Do you have kids?

no but I want them so bad lately it's evil esp considering me and bf both know we can't have any for awhileeee. but THEYRE SO CHUBBY CUTE ARGH

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I was never really in any sports lol I just go for walks

5. Do you use sarcasm?

constantly

6. What's the first thing you notice about people

hair and possibly facial hair

7. What's your eye color?

Hazel!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

idk about happy endings but I do prefer comedy to most movies. or cheesey low budget shit

9. Any talents?

I'm really good at talking too much and having a big vocabulary that no one in this little hick town seems to comprehend

10. Where were you born?

The Island ;^)

11. What are your hobbies?

ehhhh. reading?? idk I don't have hobbies lol. I play video games and read

12. Do you have any pets?

YES my baby fluffy mona and my hairless nakey Lenny and also Joey is there and I love him (The Dog)

13. How tall are you?

not as tall as I used to think but still tall. 5'7 or 5'8??

14. Favorite subject in school?

maybe math depending on the type of math

15. Dream job?

LIBRARY but my stupid towns library is only open 20hrs a week 😭😭😭😭

idk who to tag so anyone can do this and say I tagged them if u want!!! ❤️❤️❤️