#eraqus denied her

[luxmoogle]

So what are your thoughts on the fairy godmother being a being of darkness? Her domain is dreams, she argues against maintaining the balance of light and dark with brute force, and seems invested in helping Riku specifically.

If you're implying that the Fairy Godmother has something nefarious going on then I simply don't believe that is the case.

By now I think it's clear in the series that neither darkness or light are specifically bad, the balance is exactly what is important. Union cross and Dark Road as a whole are good examples why the hard divide is so dangerous.

We also have a good example in Eraqus of a character who blindly follows the light and believes that all darkness should be vanquished, and where that took him in the end. Now Sora is repeating that same mistake always denying the darkness... ...and then we have Riku. Riku is one of the few characters in the series that have found that important balance between light and dark, and I believe the journey he went through is exactly what Sora also needs.

Now dreaming is a very prominent theme throughout the series. Dreams being just one step away from Death makes them a good link and pathway to Sora, where the Fairy Godmother comes into play with her magic having a tight connection with dreams. I don't think the Fairy Godmother can be set to either side the way most other characters can, she instead exists in a similar limbo of realms with Merlin and Yen Sid.

This limbo is very probably a coming theme in the series, the relation between being awake and dreaming, the sleeping realms, reality and unreality, fiction, data.. etc.

Riku has been living in a lot of limbo between the light and dark on his journey, as well as having a connection to the sleeping realms and to Sora, and therefore will probably once again be in the forefront in the coming series, him fitting very well thematically.

[xekutozoren]

My version of Aqua x Sephiroth (explanation rant updated with mush)

Felt like explaining how I got into it. It's interesting how Tumblr seems to support it quite a bit but Pinterest is like ??? to it.

I guess I initially just wanted a character that wasn't really involved in the main KH story to appreciate Aqua for who she is and what she does. Aqua seems to give a lot to others to the point where she sacrifices her own ideals and herself. And the in-game characters don't do much for her imo.

I do still support Terraqua so it's Sephqua in a universe where Terra never ends up reciprocating her feelings. I can't deny how many times I got annoyed at Terra for not really showing he cares about Aqua like, at all.

And then KH3 happened and a lot of stuff in it made me annoyed too. Examples include no apologies happening between her and the Wayfinder trio, Ven not showing much appreciation for her, her getting tossed around after vamping her up and bringing her back, the game shifting the focus onto Riku when she was finally pouring out her feelings, Sora and Kairi not even remembering her etc. I get that a lot of these things could have happened offscreen/isn't really justified but it still made me feel the game just kind of abandoned her/treated her as a plot device.

After seeing some fanmade content about Sephqua I tried exploring it myself. I admit that I haven't actually played/watched FF7 so I really only know Sephiroth based off his wiki page and existing Sephqua content. My interpretation of him is also a bit loose and more working off his KH2 almost non-existent screen time as an excuse for doing what I want with his character. At this point he would be similar to his pre-Nibelheim self with a touch of snark. He sees visions sometimes of his canon-verse self but hasn't gone through all of that in this universe and is still capable of redemption. He's merely "the darkness of Cloud" as the KH verse called it, trying to find his purpose in my makeshift universe. His age would be more ambiguous to make the pairing work better (though Aqua being stuck down there for 12 years makes up for the difference anyway)

And one of the biggest things was ANGST COMFORT FOR AQUA'S PAIN.

I like the idea of him meeting her in the Realm of Darkness, intrigued why she refuses to give up despite no one seeming to really care about her, etc. At first, he'd just treat her as something to pass the time and not really care about her well-being but that changes eventually. >w> He is also drawn to her strength both physically and mentally.

I imagine she would be guarded towards him at first but eventually let her walls down a tinsy bit. But then she'd be furious with herself for going against Master Eraqus' ideologies and being worried what he might think of her being acquainted with someone who's full of darkness. But she eventually learns to go after what she wants, not what someone else expects of her. I like that dynamic of Sephiroth teaching her to be more selfish and her helping him find his light again.

In the AU, I'd like to see something play out that didn't in KH, which was Aqua being saved after the others. Though it wouldn't really make sense how they'd reach Ven first but it would be satisfying to see the other two do something for her for once. Sephiroth would be with her getting out of there and have to earn the trust of the keyblade gang/get over the fact that he's with warriors of light. His god complex eventually fades overtime as his feelings develop for her.

I like the idea of the two of them learning each other's vulnerabilities overtime as well as how to trust each other. It would be really interesting to see Aqua helping Sephiroth uncover the truth behind his biological parents too.

Sephiroth's need for comfort with the lack of a proper motherly figure and Aqua's need for someone to properly appreciate and acknowledge her. They love each other for who they are, not who they're expected to be.

Another big thing for me is how their interactions would go.

At the beginning, Sephiroth would be awkward and Aqua would be the more affectionate one - he's a broken man after all and scarred by lies and betrayals. Aqua will heal those wounds one by one. c:

I'm a simple woman and like banter in relationships. > w < After he's more comfortable and settled in, Sephiroth would tease her a lot and Aqua would get embarrassed easily.

That and I notice Aqua likes physical affection like hand holding and head patting in the games so it would be nice to have someone like Sephiroth who I imagine would be more hands on with her after he learns to trust again.

Not sure if anything I wrote here made sense. I typed this up pretty late. Gonna leave it there with one more doodle.

Refs are from Positively Yours, hana and a username that I don't really want to type publicly ^^;

Thanks for reading my spam! ; A ;

[supahsaucemann]

Destiny Is Never Left to Chance

Only those who have power can decide!

Xehanort Prime

Master Xehanort's superego, lingering desire for power, and deep hatred of Sora and the weak . . . incarnate . . . melted off the original after he defeat, claiming to be the TRUE Xehanort

Read Below for the Fanfic lore of Xehanort Prime

This is the Xehanort everyone knows and hates

This incarnation of Xehanort was "revived" by Brothmancer

Lord Buttercream was enticed by the drama and insanity of the Kingdom Hearts universe and created a sorta "Castle Oblivion-like" pocket dimension, created by the bad memories of the Sora's friends for his entertainment. He also used Xavier, a true hero of darkness, to stir up drama in this world, hoping to see Sora's friends go after Xavier for being the spawn of Xehanort and the Heartless, blaming him for Sora's fate.

Lord Buttercream tasked Dr. Brainfreeze and Brothmancer to study the KH world and it's secrets to make this "stage" possible. They created replicas of there own and two of them where the REAL Young Xehanort, who was timetraveling his was back after his "defeat" in KH3. With his hatred and envy of Sora becoming the "Child of Destiny" still buring in his heart and he memories of said hatred, Brainfreeze and Brothmancer use them to recreate the Master Xehanort we all know and hated, dubbed Xehanort PRIME!

This incarnation of the old master STILL has his delusions of grandeur, STILL wanting the power of Kingdome Hearts to remake the world. He also had all of his memories, includign the events of Dark Road. He muses of Aqua's hatred for darkness, comparing her to Vidar, and even berating Baldr from the beyond for being too weak to summon Kingdome Hearts. Xehanort Prime also loathes his old self for surrendering to Eraqus and relinquishing the X-blade to Sora at the end of KH3, denying it ever happened and claiming his "revivial" was all part of his plan for conquest.

First Phase: Dictator Of Destiny

The first form is his usual garb, but with occasional flaming arms and legs of pure light. In battle, a mini Kingdom Hearts is seen on his chest, similar to the Heartless symbol on Ansem SoD. He's eyes will also glow pure white, unlike his golden Heartless eyes, indicating this is NOT under the influences of darkness, but something far worse.

Second Phase: Symbol of Perfection

His second form takes the appearance of "Kingdom Hearts" with his ugly mug merged into it. This is NOT the real Kingdom Hearts, but a replica also created by the Light Order to fool Xehnanort Prime into thinking he's obtained it's power once again.

Third Phase: HeartBreaker

The final form is Xehanort's face, broken after the previous phase. Now enraged, light heart veins spread, forming the faces of the main seekers in the shape of a giant heart. Xehanort Prime becomes angry and childish, claiming to be the Child of Destiny, takes his anger out on Xavier and Sora's friends. He could summons the seekers and light versions of the Xehanort Replicas and Demon Towers, which Xavier could use against Prime to stop his rampage.

[lightandfellowship]

IMO the thing about Hoder is that her thoughts, feelings, motivations, and actions are left somewhat ambigious by the game, both due to how little screentime she gets and the open-ended nature of Kingdom Hearts' storytelling. Because of this, there are multiple ways that you could interpret her character, and I would argue that, for the most part, these various interpretations are all equally valid within the framework of what the game gives us (because after all, it's not like the game gives us a lot to work with in the first place.)

Is her professed belief in the inherent light of people's hearts a genuine representation of her thoughts, or something she said to ease the concerns of her bickering classmates, knowing full well that her declaration was overly-optimistic? When she snuck off to confront Maleficent by herself, did she have battle on the mind, or was she just planning to negotiate with her? Who instigated the fight, a righteous Hoder or an enraged Maleficent? When she tried to inform her friends that Baldr needed help as she died, was she aware that he had been possessed by darkness, or was it unclear to her what exactly was wrong with him? When she asked Xehanort to house her heart in his and transport her to Baldr, was it truly because she was worried about her brother, or because she felt it was her responsibility as his sister to put an end to his chaos? When she offered Baldr an olive branch upon reuniting with him at the end of the game, was she hoping that her kind words would convince him to stand down, or was it all just a ruse to get close enough to kill him? Who decided to turn on the other first? Or did they turn on each other simultaneously, both equally driven by distrust and paranoia? Heck, what was her sibling relationship to Baldr even like? Because the game certainly doesn't show it to us in any greater detail. And considering all the parallels the game draws between her and Eraqus, just how much of her personality and ideals can we glean from Eraqus'?

Personally, I love flawed and messy characters, especially if they're women. Extra especially if they're technically on the side of good. So while I do try to strike a balance with how I interpret her, I can't deny that I have a fondness for some of the darker possibilities, pun not intended.

[swapauanon]

Except that's not how the Force works.

Canonically, the Jedi's "strict teachings" as according to George Lucas himself, are based off Buddhist teachings.

You ARE allowed to love people (contrary to what the Acolyte says), but forbidding attachments means you have to be willing to let go of them. Marriage is also forbidden, because a Jedi's first duty is to the galaxy, and having a spouse would be a conflict of interest.

Eraqus' teachings fell flat because he was asking Terra to reject and deny a part of himself, whereas the Jedi teach emotional control (not emotional suppression).

Anakin fell to the Dark Side because he IGNORED everything the Jedi taught him that went against his own hedonistic desires.

His love for Padme is based off a desire to own and control her. Once what Padme wanted went against what he wanted, he COMPLETELY forgot that he was doing all of this to save her life and force-choked her to death.

When his mother died, he completely forgot everything the Jedi taught him and killed all of the tuskens, INCLUDING the children who had nothing to do with his mother's death.

Even in the Legends Continuity, where Jedi weddings WERE a thing, Luke and Mara WAITED until they were certain that they would be able to put the greater good first before they got married. This is what allowed Luke to avoid falling to the Dark Side when his wife died.

If the Jedi's teachings WERE what caused Anakin to fall, then the fact of the matter is that the Jedi Order would have collapsed under its own weight WELL before Anakin showed up.

The simple fact of the matter is that Anakin Fell because he had no interest in being a Jedi. He just wanted power to fulfill his own hedonistic desires.

Had he NOT become Darth Vader and run away with Padme instead, I guarantee you that Luke and Leia would've both grown to despise him for his controlling parenting and resent their mother for not doing anything to reign him in.

Eraqus, meanwhile, would not make a good Jedi either. While he does not reject emotions the way fanon Jedi do, the fact is that his fatal flaw is COWARDICE. He used to be the first to flee from danger in his youth, and as an adult he resorts to violence first and foremost when Ventus tells him something that scares him when simply asking Ventus who told him that and what Xehanort was planning would've allowed him to derail Xehanort's schemes.

The Jedi Council do not jump straight to lethal force unless forced to. They can peacefully coexist with the Dark-aligned Nightsisters in spite of the Nightsisters being pretty evil, because unlike the Sith they mostly keep to themselves. When they do get into fights with them, it's because the Nightsisters started it.

And while people present the Mandalorian way as superior, they forget that the Mandalorian way is mindless bloodshed, constant posturing, and endless infighting that leaves their society on the verge of collapse the second they get rid of the ONE woman who was trying to make them a functioning culture.

Heck, just yesterday I saw a post that lists off a BUNCH of Force Religions the Jedi coexist with just fine.

Eraqus would not be someone who'd have a seat on the Jedi Council, unless he could learn to control his own fear and not act so impulsively.

(And before you start bashing Mace Windu: Note that he was pretty friendly with Anakin in most contexts, had intended to arrest Palpatine when he learned he was playing both sides, and only escalated to trying to kill Palps when the Sith in questions butchered four Jedi and started blasting evil lightning out of his fingertips. Frankly, the fact that Palpatine lived long enough to throw him out of a window is a testament to Mace Windu being too merciful for his own good.)

And before you try to play the "Clones" card, note that the Clone Army was forced on the Jedi, the Jedi regularly encouraged the Clones to think for themselves, and ANAKIN was the only recurring Jedi to treat the Clones as expendable.

Gee, it's almost like Anakin was the problem all along!

Okay but, I think it would be funny if Star Wars were to appear in Kingdom Hearts, because Star Wars very much strictly adheres to "light is good, dark is evil" while Kingdom Hearts goes for "dark is dangerous, but not necessarily evil by default".

So like...

Imagine it leading to a lot of confusion until they eventually figure out the issue is just a difference in what's defined as Light or Dark.

The KH cast define Light and Dark based off of fundamental and natural forces in the universe.

In Star Wars, Light Side is how the Force is SUPPOSED to be used, while the Dark Side is a perversion of the Force that is inherently harmful.

This, hilariously enough, means that any Jedi who's especially attuned to the Light Side of the Force would probably have an easy time using the KH version of the powers of Darkness without fear thanks to their excellent self-control.

The Sith, meanwhile, would all be on the fast track to becoming mindless Heartless thanks to their LACK of self control and constantly indulging their worst impulses to self destructive degrees.

(Look at Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens and tell me with a straight face that he wouldn't become a Heartless during the final battle if he was using KH's darkness in addition to the Dark Side of the Force.)

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

Terra Has A Younger Sister...?

First of all, to get context for later, my in-dream adventure pathway has made it so Terra has graduated to be a dream guide alongside Riku. This statement is true since 2 OCT 2021 (AEST).

Now for the explanation as to what's going on here? I will put most of what I wrote on my DA piece:

-------------------------------------------------

She likely wouldn't exist if she didn't show up in my dreams last night. This dream character showed up and claimed to be Terra's younger sister. She looked slightly different in-dream: She had more pale skin, her hair was black and more straight, and she was also wearing her hair down. I have revamped her look a bit to be more similar to Terra, as well as to more accurately express her short and snarky, 'entitled' personality (she was mean to me in the dream). She was wearing the exact same clothes in the dream as she's wearing here. I thought it was so interesting that when I woke up, I felt I wanted to develop her as an actual character. Her name is Tenebris Masakato. Tenebris: This actually means 'Darkness' in Latin. I thougbt since Terra is 'Earth' in Latin; she also got a Latin name. But because her parents literally named her darkness, this is why she turned into a really nasty person (basically taking the exact opposite road to Terra). Masakato: For each character that is a dream guide to me, they let me know their last names. Terra's last name in a dream was shown to be 'Masakato', so it only makes sense that this is Tenebris' last name too... I don't know if she'd be married to anyone.

Extra note: She had NO name in-dream; so Tenebris is one give to her by me today. Terra has been marked an official dream guide (now alongside Riku) since 2 OCT 2021 (AEST). Here is some backstory and extra facts that I have written up for his sister Tenebris: --------------------------------------------------------

Name: Tenebris Masakato

Age: ~2 yrs younger than Terra.

Overview: Tenebris means ‘Darkness’ in Latin… Her parents literally called her darkness. Whereas her older brother Terra left behind a life of darkness (after escaping his fate as Terranort), Tenebris leads a normal life (non keyblade-wielder) but has been continuing in a downward spiral into evil and corruption. Tenebris wears trendy clothes and cute accessories, and is a social butterfly, but looks can be deceiving. Through loopholes in modern day law, Tenebris can be a silent killer (hence why she is not accepted into any KH promotional materials by Disney). Due to their vast differences, Terra and Tenebris do not speak to each other. Overall, Terra and Tenebris are almost exact opposites of each other.

Extra fact: Her favourite colour is peach/nude.

Backstory: Tenebris is the younger sister of Terra. At the time when Terra first set foot on the Land of Departure to study under Master Eraqus, Tenebris came with him. However, Eraqus turned Tenebris away as he noted that her name was literally Darkness (in Latin). At the time, Terra and Tenebris were none the wiser about this and Terra wasn’t happy that his sister was denied occupancy. Tenebris went back home to be with her parents while Terra continued on with Eraqus. Terra meeting Aqua and befriending her made him forget about his sister and feel better about studying under Eraqus. Creating the bond of Eraqus as the ‘honorary father’. Back home, Tenebris went to middle school (high school – AUS), and this is when she started to change and show early signs of who she is today. She had a very ‘exclusive’, ‘status quo’ friendship group who would pick on other people. Tenebris only remained friends with these people for about 1.5 years, until a huge disagreement happened and Tenebris left the group (she was the troublemaker). In her upper years, Tenebris studied law and politics, as well as many other English subjects, with only one maths subject. This is the reason why Tenebris is very well spoken and lot sharper than her brother Terra. She also knows how to say the right words to appeal to people, but then can mistreat them, finding the right time to show her true colours. From Terra speaking to his mum on occasions, this is how he found out about Tenebris’ change and became shocked, realising the legitimacy of Eraqus denying her. Hearing that Terra recovered from his darkness underwhelmed Tenebris, but then angered her. Terra’s principals and beliefs were nothing like hers, and she often thought of her brother as a failure, saying bad things about him to other people that she met.

Opposites (Terra/Tenebris):

Terra – May not have been worthy of becoming a Keyblade Master back then; has potential now. Tenebris – Could have become a Keyblade Master (if a wielder) back then; evil and corruption has taken over her life today.

Terra – His darkness wasn’t his fault; he was tricked and deceived by others, and even then, not given ample opportunities to prove himself. Tenebris – She was treated well in her early life and given plenty of opportunities; the road to darkness was her choice.

Terra – Gentle nature, kind-hearted, genuine, soft spoken, slightly ditsy at times. Tenebris – Social butterfly, overly-enthusiastic, may come across as aggressive at times, deceptive, cunning, sharp, good with words.

Terra – Traditional outlook, traditional clothing. Tenebris – Modern/High-Corporate beliefs and principals, trendy clothing.

Terra – Has a few friends (Aqua and Ventus esp.); keeps them for a long time (if not for good). Tenebris – Has many people claiming to be her friends; only ‘uses’ them when needed; she's high profile but has no good, loyal friends.

---------------------------------------------

Tumblr extra: Here is a comparison in appearances for Terra and Tenebris:

[qourmet]

somewhere between canon & fanon. these are personal interpretations of characters excluding most of the org. 13 weirdos

sora: literal sunshine incarnate with a citrus twist that enables mischief, still believes in magic well into his teens even if he verbally denounces it

riku: the moon complimentary to the sun that accidentally tried to murder the sun in a jealous fit Once Upon a Time

kairi: would-be sunshine incarnate but can actually commit atrocities if sunshine incarnate were to get hurt

roxas: a bit on the aggro side and still retains traces of his emo phase but otherwise a chill dude to hang out with

xion: lost-lamb with nothing but good intentions, a bit of a malleable teen. if you don't keep an eye on her she'll start brooding in her head

axel: the older-brother type friend who feels really responsible on the outside but has nothing going for him on the inside, whose main virtue is that he's dependable. probably has imposter-syndrome issues

isa: the older-brother type you know has nothing going for him, but he's been in so many fights before you're too scared to call him out on it lest you get fucking whomped

namine: softspoken girl everyone seems to know but no one ever knows. on the klutzy side, ready to fend you off with a sketchbook that weighs more than it looks

repliku: absolutely aggro, but in the "diversity wins!" kinda way in that he's aggro with morals. you love to hate him, you can't live without him. pretends not to have a vendetta against riku but absolutely has it out for the dude

aqua: the older-sister type, who's actually dependable and actually has her shit together. feels bad depending on her because too many people depend on her, but responsibility comes naturally to her and she seldom sees any task as burdensome

terra: another older-brother type but with Himbo vibes. absolutely will yeet a baby for their entertainment. is the "do not" on the wiki-how for interacting with babies

ventus: takes after aqua in a lot of respects & accidentally becomes more of a maternal figure as opposed to a paternal one. gives off big-sibling vibes when with anyone younger than him, but when he's with aqua he wants to be spoiled. liable to having some obsessive qualities if he goes unchecked

vanitas: brooding, liable to throwing hands. more level-headed than most, but more naive than most, too. pretends that he's not naive by denying every claim made towards him, but is absolutely the kid that'll do "bloody-mary" if you look the other way

eraqus: where terra gets his Himbo from. on the naive side, but a man with responsibility so deeply etched into his being that he gives off an air of wisdom. has absolutely microwaved a fork before

xehanort: actually probably one of the most sane of the bunch with a flare for the dramatic. more independent than interdependent, but is absolutely resentfully dumbass-sexual

urd: always ready to throw hands. probably not a very strong sense of responsibility but enjoys when people perceive her as dependable. likes to know everyone's business, never tells anyone what business she knows

vor: no one has anything bad to say about her because she's inconceivably more responsible than everyone else, while simultaneously being one of the most gentle souls in the group. happy to give you what you need until you mess up the first time, but if you keep messing up her smile becomes more sinister. will let you die on-field if you made her mad that week

bragi: "watch me do a backflip" & lands on his back. totally capable of taking a hit, and gets hit more than he likes to admit. an air of cockiness surrounds him, but he actually doesn't think more of himself. swag kid

hermod: probably actually one of the most dependable in his group if not the most dependable. likes taking a team-leader position, hates it when people go rogue in whatever operation he's plotting. hates it when things go awry in general. not very flexible to what life throws at him

baldr: "the teacher's kid" tries to do everything in his power to dissociate himself from that title. inevitably ends up being really cool & likeable by pure force of will. will bromance you even if you're non-romancable

ephemer: no one really understands how he came into a position of power. he doesn't even understand it. he doesn't consider himself much of a leader, but you hear him debating something politics-related Once & suddenly understand. charisma incarnate with a dollop of whipped cream on top

skuld: will stab a bitch don't test her. most of her wardrobe is leather & black, the girl you didn't know if you wanted to date or wanted to be in school. unexpectedly maternal

brain: "i haven't slept in 6 days and i'm running on nothing but espresso" freak that gets emo when he's left alone with his thoughts too long. "i'm chill, i'm low-maintenance" is the least chill & most high-maintenance kid you could possibly know

lauriam: kinda oblivious, bad at taking hints. either talk straight to him or don't talk to him at all. you know this man smells like roses but you forget that roses smell like old women so it's a jarring juxtaposition when he walks by

elrena: ikemen-holic. she can keep a relatively straight face and amicable front but she's like sakura haruno in that her inner monologue is always violent and ready to rumble. don't be shocked if she has photo cards of idols. puppy love is a good look on her tbh

strelitzia: the type of girl you know who has crippling anxiety that's so bad it comes full-circle and she's an inextricably capable person for fear of being a burden on others. the type of friend who's scared to do anything on her own but can do the same task if it's for other people

yozora: if it weren't for the fact that the (read: his, probably) world was ending and the lives of thousands/millions of others were on his shoulders, this man wouldn't do anything ever. you'd sooner find him sleeping in his own car before you found him living up to the expectations bestowed upon him. let the man sleep, it's all he wants to do

[remmammie]

Hcs with Aqua singing in her sleep? Her English VA sings really well, which I found surprising: https://youtu.be/tBJeSLj9qwQ

The weather over here is crazy and now you've really made me want Aqua to sing me to sleep haha! It's short, but sweet - this idea is adorable <3

Aqua singing in her sleep HCs

I love the concept of Aqua having a gorgeous singing voice - it would suit her very well, I think.

But she strikes me as quite a shy singer. Maybe Eraqus gave her lessons as a kid or she just picked it up after being introduced to music as a child. She wouldn't be caught dead singing in front of anyone she knows personally and would still be pretty nervous singing in front of strangers.

Still, one doesn't have much control over what they do in their sleep, unfortunately, and Aqua has been caught a few times talking, walking, and even singing in her sleep.

People become a lot more active in their sleep when they're stressed, so quickly after returning from The Dark Realm and defeating Master Xehanort, people who slept near Aqua began to tell her about her adventures in the night.

She flushes terribly quickly and wants to deny any chance of being caught singing in her sleep of all things, but she knows she has a tendency to do things in her sleep that she'd never do normally.

Any time anyone brings it up after these incidents, Aqua sternly tells them to be quiet and tries not to show how embarrassed the story makes her.

It has definitely become a point of teasing for Ven and Terra.

[themattress]

@ngc-5194: Hey, guess what? Your strawman burns easily. Nobody thinks other KH games are "unimportant spin-offs" because they're on different platforms for one another. They think they're spin-offs, important or otherwise, because the series has games called Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Kingdom Hearts III, and later Kingdom Hearts IV. Rabid stans like you just expect people to throw all logic and reason surrounding numbering, including how it's used in literally any other series, out the window for special snowflake Kingdom Hearts series, and get pissy when they naturally won't, then act all superior because you do.

And more to the point, yes, it IS bad writing to force someone to play or watch or read up on so many different installments to have the remotest grasp on what's going on in titles that are still numbered sequentially. Especially when the content in said installments is increasingly incoherent gobbldegook. Any reasonable person not familiar with KH will read your initial post and most likely go "oh Hell nah, there are much better and more accessible series I could be investing my time in than this." You aren't really persuading anyone; you're just shilling.

Cases in point?

to which i first must ask, what part of kingdom hearts does make sense to you then?

Disney meets Final Fantasy/JRPG/anime style and adventures ensue.

It's a weird concept, but once you accept it, it makes sense. You can do it without time travel and time loops, worlds and people actually existing in a computer simulation, multiple variations of characters including literal clones, characters who are also partly other characters, body-jacking, different layers of reality, memory loss, existential angst, tangled relationships between characters, previously established information going out the window once later information is learned, convoluted plot turns due to dreams and/or memories, characters dropping long-winded exposition dumps, detailed lore in written unlockable reports, overtly obtuse terms, characters never staying dead and no permanent consequences or sacrifices, and omnipotent villains behind everything as part of some contrived master plan. All of that stuff is why the KH series is so confusing to people.

there are many many people out there in this fandom who would be thrilled to talk to you about parts of the plot you found confusing. who have posts pages and pages long on minute details

You really think non-fans WANT to read that shit!?

That doesn't help newcomers. It scares them away.

strelitzia, someone deeply important to marluxia, larxene, and ventus’ backstories, is seemingly implied to be one of the main characters in kh4 and if you have no knowledge of union x, then you likely have zero idea who she is.

This is not really an example of the problem (that you deny is a problem) - Sora doesn't know who Strelitizia is either, so players wouldn't need to know her history since Sora is their POV.

it gives a lot of depth to xehanort and eraqus both.

No. It doesn't.

eraqus’ behaviours and motivations are given reason—not necessarily morally good ones, and certainly not ones that always provide justification for his actions, but actual fully defined reasons for it all.

Birth by Sleep released in 2010. Dark Road was a whole decade later. In all that time, I don't recall seeing anyone who cared enough to ask "what past incident made Eraqus become a zealot for light?" Because it wasn't important. Nobody wanted or needed to know because that wasn't the point of Eraqus' character, which was what effect he had on his students, the actual main characters. Nobody wanted or needed a spin-off about him and the fucking villain who ruined him and his students' lives.

as it has always been with kh, every game is important to understand the story.

And that's why KH fails as a series, and why every game that isn't KH, KH2 and KH3 has been stuck between 1 million and 2 million sales even when other series that have been able to surpass that easily. Why series that have been out for far less time and had far less installments still overall sell better than KH even when the Disney angle alone should have hypothetically made KH a much bigger success.

but you have to accept that they are important to the plot of the series. that they can not simply be ignored if you want to grasp the entire story of kingdom hearts.

And you in turn have to accept that for most people, the response to this will always be "then the entire story of Kingdom Hearts can go fuck itself, because this bullshit ain't worth my time when there are so many better options out there that don't operate like this".

yknow i could very easily accept someone not liking the mobile kh games if people actually gave... understandable reasons??

mostly i've heard that they're 'inaccesable'. which. they're in general more accessable since the console they run on is a phone, a device more people have than a ps4. though, granted, it is the offline version of both games only.

however, if you don't have a phone, have limited space on your phone, or are uninterested in a mostly unplayable game, all of which are understandable, there are cutscene compilations (ux (story important, all), dr) available on youtube too!

if the lots of reading is the issue then there is a completely dubbed version of the cutscenes of ux and you can easily find voiced playthroughs of both union x and dark road on youtube as well.

(for instance, here is a playthrough of dark road that i watched as my phone needed repairs by the time i had caught up with the series enough to move onto khdr. but, of course, there are many more options if you simply search up 'kingdom hearts [dark road/union x] playthrough' on youtube. find whichever one suits the kind of videos you like to watch best!)

if you don't have the time to sit through all of the cutscenes, there are summaries also avaliable! here is a video one for union x, and though unfortunately i can't find a similar one for dark road, it is also always acceptable to just read the wiki section on the story of the game! (here is the union x wiki section as well)

the other major complaint i've heard is that it's 'too confusing' or that the story 'doesn't make sense in parts'.

to which i first must ask, what part of kingdom hearts does make sense to you then? many many signifigant, heavily important parts of this series can be the most mind boggling things you have ever read or heard. so much so that we are known as the fans of that overly complex and insane disney game. that is what we are known for!!

and more to an actual point, there are many many people out there in this fandom who would be thrilled to talk to you about parts of the plot you found confusing. who have posts pages and pages long on minute details.

we are all fans of this weird ass game series and we all can. i don't know. help each other, newcomers and people who have been here awhile alike. us fans who like the mobile games are no different. we are willing to share and help and explain anything you need.

and as for the take that the mobile games are 'unimportant'.

strelitzia, someone deeply important to marluxia, larxene, and ventus' backstories, is seemingly implied to be one of the main characters in kh4 and if you have no knowledge of union x, then you likely have zero idea who she is.

the foretellers and the master of masters are being set up as potential villians in the next arc of the series. all of these characters were introduced in union x, four years before back cover released. and while yes, back cover gives the perspective of the foretellers more while union x is from the eyes of the keykids, there are many interactions with the foretellers in union x, beyond the scope of back cover, that are deeply important to the plot and establishment of their characters.

while yes, dark road has drastically less set up for the future in it, as all of the characters featured are now dead, it gives a lot of depth to xehanort and eraqus both. eraqus' behaviours and motivations are given reason—not necessarily morally good ones, and certainly not ones that always provide justification for his actions, but actual fully defined reasons for it all.

as it has always been with kh, every game is important to understand the story. you couldn't simply play kh1 kh2 and kh3 and expect to understand everything, and you can not expect to understand everything if you don't at least know surface level of the stories of the mobile games too.

you do not have to play them yourself. they do not have to be your favourite games in the series. if you are reading this and you hate them, you can stay not liking them even for all i care.

but you have to accept that they are important to the plot of the series. that they can not simply be ignored if you want to grasp the entire story of kingdom hearts.

[miss-tc-nova]

Unexpected Competition - Eraqus & Xehanort

Because I got a beautiful recommendation from my ever graceful queen @kingdomcarrots for Scala kid stuff, I suppose I’d better post some Scala kid stuff.

Please enjoy my piece from the @khparkszine which was an absolute blast to write. And no, this is not part of my most recent series of madness. 

~~~~~

           The headband slips into his silver hair and Xehanort complains, “Why am I wearing these again?”

           “Don’t be a spoil-sport, man,” his friend, Bragi, replies. “Everyone’s wearing them.” His gesture to their four friends reveals he’s right: they are all wearing mouse ears.

           “Cool. So, peer-pressure.”

           “You know it!” Finger guns wave at the oppressed.

           The colorful, magical world of Disneyland—it’s a surprise visit for the herd of students, but one enjoyed nonetheless. So far, they’ve encountered a variety of characters and ventured onto rides of all sorts, from story-telling tours to exciting coasters; not to mention a ride picked by Hermod early in the day. The mistake was assuming it was a peaceful log flume. By the end of it, they had all been drenched and Vor was thrilled to have a photo of everyone’s shock at the sudden drop. The perpetrator was not allowed to live down his pick of “Splash Mountain” and everyone turned on Urd as well when she pointed out that none of them noticed the red flags either. Yet in spite of splashing surprises, none of them can deny that the day has been fun.

           Currently, the hoard is adventuring into Tomorrowland, passing by the Astro Orbiter for now, but the following building on the left catches some eyes.

           “Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters,” Bragi hums, reiterating the entrance sign’s yellow lettering.

           Urd waves towards the empty line where only a handful of people trickle through. “The wait’s not very long.”

           “Let’s go!” Without waiting on her friends, little Vor makes a mad dash through the queue.

           The rest of the group follows through the space-toy-themed halls, eventually coming across the white sign that stirs up some excitement.

           “Operating instructions: aim laser and pull trigger,” Vor reads aloud. “Aim for the ‘Z.’ Bonus points when lit.”

           Immediately, Eraqus’s face lights up. He’s come to the same conclusion that Xehanort has. “Wait! This a game?!”

           Silver eyes meet stone-grey with a look their classmates have seen a million times and can only describe as “trouble.”

           From day one, Xehanort sought out the competition, the marker against which he can prove himself, which he originally found in the aristocratic Eraqus. At first, it was the sheer rivalry of a nobody against nobility, but Eraqus lost, and lost again, and again. And then he won. The blueblood’s current win rate is only one out every four games and yet he never seems to lose any sleep over it. He comes time after time to challenge Xehanort and he never makes it easy—he loses often but not by much, always keeping the original challenger on his toes. The pair have become unlikely friends in their time spent clashing, but Eraqus never lets a challenge go untaken and Xehanort always has to prove his slogan of “I never lose.”

           The boys’ most recent competition at the Frontierland Shootin’ Exposition, in which they made their friends keep track of targets hit, had resulted in one of those blue-moon ties. Xehanort would argue that he won, having hit four of the moving train targets while Eraqus only managed to hit one. The latter would then shoot back that Xehanort’s declaration meant he missed at least three stationary targets and, in the end, nobody was satisfied. This new game, though, could prove to be the comeback they’ve each been waiting for.

           “Uh oh. There they go again,” sighs Hermod, not that either of the competitors are listening as they hustle through the ropes. To their displeasure, the line forces them to hold their horses and wait their turn at the challenge. This gives Vor the chance to point out the large animatronic waving around a blaster.

           “Who’s that?”

           Bragi tilts his head. “Considering his chest says ‘Lightyear’ I’m guessin’ that’s Buzz Lightyear.”

           The space ranger tells his audience of their mission to defeat Zurg. Xehanort hardly pays attention, too busy staring at the sign of targets—triangle, diamond, square, and circle respectively—that he swears must mean something.

           The line passes by the boarding bay and the boys eye up the “battery-powered” vehicles; passengers sit two to a cart, get locked in, and are sent into the darkness to earn their scores. The youth in white eagerly awaits his turn. Meanwhile, not about to let on how excited he is, the opposition pretends he’s already got this in the bag. Even if he thought there was a chance of losing, Xehanort would never show it.

           Up next, Eraqus scoots in and the ride operator ushers in the boy in black second. Sharing a car with his foe was not in Xehanort’s plan but, given that foe’s affinity to bend the rules, at least they’ll start on an even playing field.

           With enthusiasm, the blasters are pulled from their holsters and examined. A couple test shots show that Xehanort’s sights are barely off, but it’s nothing he can’t adjust for. Buzz Lightyear reminds them to aim for the “Z” targets and the adventure begins.

           Right around the corner comes a pair of bots. Eraqus begins fervently but the silver-haired boy takes a closer look. The boxobot on the right has one of each target—a perfect opportunity to test a theory. After a second to adjust his aim, each target takes a couple hits.

           Noting his score, Xehanort muses, “So that’s it—triangles are worth the most.”

           “Thanks for the info.” Eraqus gives him a devious smirk. Taking hold of the joystick on the console and jerking it towards him, he shifts the whole ride towards the left—Xehanort didn’t even know it did that. That fox hasn’t missed a beat aiming for the triangle on the back of the boxobot’s hand. Barely thirty seconds in and the enemy is already pulling tricks, jumping his score much to his irritation. Xehanort focuses instead on the targets he can hit before the car enters a hall full of toppling batteries.

           Zurg approaches from around the corner, flashing his gun at the players. While he wears two tempting square targets, Xehanort recalls something about targets being worth more while lit and aims for the easy neon circle on his right. Once it’s out of reach, he begins to realize that the targets thus far have favored Eraqus’s side of the vehicle and that advantage may not change. That boy always had a ridiculous amount of luck on top of his veiled talents—another reason he’s such a challenging rival.

           There are a couple of squares on the left in the next hall but, just as the sights are lined up, the car abruptly jerks—this is Eraqus’s doing. Annoyed but refusing to let his score drop, Xehanort shoves the saboteur himself, trying to get him off the controls. Eraqus, smushed up against the side panel, gives up his subversion and returns his full attention to boosting his own score.

           The following room is full of alien monsters, again favoring Eraqus’s side. Having won control of the car, though, Xehanort turns the vehicle all the way around, aiming for a lit diamond above his head. He’s proud of that move, until he realizes he gave away a high target’s position to Eraqus.

           The following tunnel is vastly different from the rest of the ride: pitch black with streams of light zooming past—but a familiar orange flicker stands out. Just short of smacking his best friend in the head, Xehanort aims.

           “Nice spot!” Eraqus jeers.

           These flashing blasters make it impossible to hide a player’s aim. “Quit cheating!”

           “I’m just playing the game!” Shoving the arm away, the black-haired boy aims straight up at another hidden target.

           Darkness gives way to another room featuring Zurg and Buzz Lightyear. A glance has Xehanort’s confidence swelling—he’s winning, but there are still enough targets to close that gap if he doesn’t pay attention. However, the young man’s focus on the glowing circle on Zurg’s chest is thrown when Eraqus turns them around to face another vermillion bot with a circle. Xehanort is about to jerk the car back to the more exciting scene behind them but the circle flashes and a new target pops up: the triangle.

           As fast as their trigger fingers will let them, they fire away until the target is out of range. The pair gets a few more hits on Zurg and the diamond rocket before they enter the next room. In the narrative of the ride, the little green men celebrate that Zurg has been captured and put back in his box—which is where the last circle target sits.

           Final desperate attempts are made to raise their score before they near the exit and Buzz Lightyear speaks to the space cadets once again.

           “Mission accomplished, space rangers! It’s been an honor serving with you! Check the status board to determine your ranking. And don’t forget to holster those blasters.”

           “Aw, is that it?” Eraqus puts his blaster down. “What did you get?”

           Xehanort’s eyes drop to the yellow score displaying all nines. “I think it maxed out. What about you?”

           “Same.”

           “What? That’s it? So there’s no way to tell who won?” Xehanort protests, taunted by the glowing score. He’s absolutely offended that, twice today, he hasn’t come out on top as the clear victor. “Lame.”

           “Guess that’s one more tally on the draw column,” sighs Eraqus.

           The pair disembarks their ride and scurry off the moving walkway. There’s a large board displaying score ranges and informing passengers of their ranks. The fact that the top rank says “+999,999” is interesting.

           “That was so much fun!” Vor announces. Pointing to the board, she adds, “I made it into level six! Bragi barely got into level five.”

           The offended boy seems to disapprove of her tactless declaration, and turns to the others. “What did you two eager beavers get?”

           Urd and Hermod join the group and they all begin to amble down the long hallway.

           “We maxed out,” Eraqus tells them.

           “You got level seven?” Bragi asks with an arching brow.

           Xehanort scorns, “Yeah but Eraqus only did because he was cheating.”

           “I didn’t cheat. You’re just mad it ended in another draw.”

           “You deliberately tried to sabotage me.”

           “If it was cheating, they wouldn’t have put it in the game.”

           The bickering continues until they emerge into a room lined with screens. Curious, Xehanort follows Eraqus towards one.

           “What’s this?” The boy in white jams a finger against the glass. In response, it displays various pictures of the attraction vehicles. “Look! Here we are!”

           Up pops an image of the two. Apparently, this was taken during their argument in the pitch-black part of the ride and they look ridiculously serious. Another finger points to the green sign over Eraqus’s image stating his rank and “1,159,600.”

           “Hey, I got ranked number nine! And you got…Aw man!”

           Xehanort was eighth with 1,218,100, successfully achieving his comeback.

           Not exactly a gracious winner, he smirks. “Looks like I’m better than you at shooting too.”

           “Beginners luck!”

           “You’re a beginner too!”

           From behind them comes just two words that interrupt the argument. “Uh guys…”

           They look back to Hermod who’s sporting a pitying smile. Both sets of eyes follow his point up. Above all the meandering visitors is a scoreboard reading “Today’s High Scores.” In their respective places are “XNT” in eighth and “ERA” in ninth. For their first try, the boys really cleaned house.

           “Holy crap,” awes Bragi.

           Vor puts in, “That’s amazing!”

           Xehanort swells with pride, always ready to take a compliment. Even Eraqus is smiling at his hard work.

            “Yeah, it’s kinda scary how good she was, like a professional sniper,” Hermod chuckles sheepishly. “I was so busy watching her, I didn’t even get into level four.”

           What?

           Silver eyes bolt to the board again. Nothing’s changed; he and Eraqus are still at the bottom of the board. And then his gaze travels up where he finds the disturbance that freezes his blood. At the top of the board—with a score more than double either of theirs—are the initials “URD.”

           Eraqus and Xehanort whirl on the girl wearing the smuggest triumphant grin. The others rarely intrude on their games, not really wanting to get mixed up in all the madness, but there she stands, gloating over the boys with a sneering simper.

           Looks of disbelief are exchanged before, without another word, the pair race back around to the entrance to take on the game again.

~~~~~

Nova’s Kingdom Hearts Masterlist

[dunedan-estel]

Armoured Aegis 1! A short piece of Terraegis writing below the read more!

She was thankful for the dark hue of her helmet’s visor, for the sun bouncing off the arid earth and golden sand would have blinded her. Not that it would have mattered - Aegis had already turned a blind eye to her gut instincts about Xehanort, too busy denying the existence of his dark aura to even see the truth. After all, why would Mater Eraqus be friends with such an evil? Yet the gnawing only grew, as did the untrusting scowl that etched her features whenever she saw him. She should have spoken up when she met up with Terra at Master Yen Sid’s tower, when the retired Master had first implied Xehanort was up to something. What would it have accomplished if she did? Another rift? Xehanort had given Terra hope straight after his darkness first appeared. Xehanort gave Terra support.

What would she have accomplished if she took that away? 

Part of her hoped their situation now would never have happened, but another part of her suspected it only would have happened so much sooner.

At the time she didn’t realise that was why she never spoke of it. And now she walked up to Terra, his body language full of guilt, as a last source of support. Whilst she, herself, was filled to the brim of that same emotional burden. Being a good friend was, clearly, much harder than it looked. And being a supportive lover only made it more complicated - making decisions because she didn’t want to see Terra hurt more than he already was only to find out what she was trying to prevent happened anyway. 

Aegis hated herself for that. Not that it was anything knew - doing anything she thought would help only for it to backfire. How anyone wanted her around she didn’t know - but they probably saw something in her she couldn’t. Though, what they would see now she didn’t know. And she didn’t want to know. 

She came to a stop next to Terra, her armour dematerialising. The sun was hot against her skin, eyes narrowed for some sort of protection against the sun, and sweat beaded on her brow. Terra’s sigh didn’t escape her ears, though she pretended not to hear it. Aegis’ thoughts weren’t on knowing what was going through his mind - she was more concerned with his wellbeing. Terra had been through a lot mentally and she wasn’t going to demand answers or to tell her how he was. 

She pressed her left palm against his right with bated breath. His arms were at his sides, his shoulders tense. There was a second of no reaction before his fingers slotted themselves between hers. His grasp was tight with sincerity.

It was enough to know she was welcome. And she would do whatever she could to help him through this next step.

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Just a silly little something for @cureaesthetic​ 

"Bragi told me you were in here, baking, and I didn't believe it."  Vor skidded to a stop, bracing herself against the kitchen counter, sock covered feet making it hard to maintain traction on the smooth floor. With the tone she'd used, "putting Dire Plants in the blender" could have been substituted for "baking" for as foreign as she had deemed the concept.

Eraqus spared her a small, fond smile. Vor was only the youngest of the kids in their class at Scala by a few months. but her small stature, cherubic face, and attitude had firmly fixed her status as the baby of the group, and, for the most part, let her get away with much the others couldn't. "Do you want to lick the spoon?" He offered, holding up a wooden spoon and showing off a sluggish tan batter that dripped off the end back into the large bowl he was cradling, seemingly oblivious to any insult that Vor had tried to lob his way. 

"Do you need a taste tester to prove it's not poison?" Vor asked with faux earnestness.

Eraqus ignored her once more and went back to stirring. "I'm making cookies for Xehanort's birthday."

"It's his birthday?" Vor froze abruptly in the middle of hoisting herself up on the counter, distracted from compiling additional jokes about Eraqus attempting to be domestic, causing a heel bruising landing from her jump. "How come I didn't know? Are we planning a party?"

"I'm planning a little something." Eraqus answered evasively, becoming fully engrossed in stirring the already blended mixture in the bowl.

"And you were telling the rest of us...when? Presents just don't pick out and wrap themselves, you know," Vor huffed, engaging in a second, more successful attempt to jump up and sit on the counter.

"It was just going to be a him and me thing. After our chess game tonight." The bowl was set on the counter next to Vor, who looked into it with the fascinated horror of one watching a Heartless eat. Eraqus opened a cabinet and ducked his head behind the door without ever making eye contact with his friend. It took talent. Vor fulfilled her role as annoying younger sibling figure by letting out a long "oooh" full of implication that had Eraqus turning pink. "The cookies. The surprise is going to be the cookies. I'm going to let him win the game, say we should celebrate, and then pull out a platter of cookies."

"Why not a cake?" Vor asked, using the left behind spoon to poke dubiously at the contents of the bowl, mostly liquid, much too thin to be called dough. 

"Snickerdoodles are his favorite dessert."Eraqus emerged from the cabinet with a bottle of red-brown spice with a homemade chicken scratch label in hand and pulled the bowl away. "Remember Christmas when Master Odin brought us the gingerbread keys? Xeha picked all the tines off his key and then started dividing the rest into same size strips? I teased him for playing with his food and asked him if he didn't like gingerbread. He said he liked it, but it wasn't quite as good as snickerdoodles." 

"Nobody but you remembers that, but that's fine because it's really cute. Just like it's cute you want to impress him by making his favorite on your own instead of asking Urd to make a cake. I still have questions though."

"Can I stop you?"

Vor swung her legs, relishing the banging noises her heels made striking the counterfront. "No. Why didn't you tell me or any of the others that Xehanort's birthday was coming up? Even if you wanted a little private party-" She paused for a fraction of a second, obviously struggling not to make any joke or sound effect. Eraqus appreciated her restraint. "We could have all done something together too."

Eraqus shook spice into the bowl and started mixing again. Frowned, added more spice, and resumed. The process was repeated. "I'm not actually sure if it is his birthday. It probably isn't. It occurred to me we haven't celebrated it, and it's been almost a year since he washed up, so I thought it was time. I thought a little dessert, a little trinket I made for him, a badge since he doesn't have any accessories, and then when he says it isn't his birthday, I can get him to tell me the real day. We can all plan a party for then, or pick a day if that's part of his amnesia. "

Vor made a noise in a pitch that likely communicated more to Scala's dolphin population than the boy next to her. "If your crush gets any more adorable, I'm going to die. You do realize the cinnamon goes on top of the cookies, though, right?"

"It can be mixed in too," Eraqus defended himself.

"I notice you didn't deny the crush. I also noticed that you are definitely not  holding cinnamon. It's too red."

Eraqus looked down at the bowl, alarmed and skeptical in equal measure, and then at the little bottle he had been liberally mixing into his cookie dough. "Cayenne pepper," he read with the intonation of a man headed to the gallows.

"Cool. So how long should I let you mourn before making 'spicy evening' jokes?"

[guiding--x]

@dcvotion asked: “ i always trust that you’ve got my back ” //For Aqua~

Meme /// Accepting

Aqua didn’t think that he had any idea how much that reassurance meant to her. The look in his eyes made it seem like anything but a throwaway comment, his expression shining bright with his genuine nature, but it was said with such nonchalance. Like she should have known the extent of the faith he had in her. 

As if, even after everything, there was no question about her loyalty to him. That drive to teach and protect and bolster. 

There were certainly others who had done more to remove themselves from the good favor of others. Traitors and liars and all sorts of untrustworthy individuals that Riku had crossed paths with over the years. Those who would use him and manipulate him. Hide the truth, either because they couldn’t trust him, or because they knew that what they were doing was wrong. He had stepped into the darkness enough to know what sorts of people hid in the shadows. But that couldn’t stop her from second guessing herself, either. 

She could still hear Ven’s voice in her head. It was soft and small, incredulous, and carrying enough hurt for himself and Terra when they felt she had betrayed their trust. 

“You’re awful, Aqua.”

And it had stuck with her. And her failure in keeping them safe. And breaking her promises to Master Eraqus to protect them. And losing herself, along the way, swallowed up in the very darkness that she had resented. 

Aqua still felt that she had plenty of reasons for Riku to deny her such belief. Shun her teachings and question her ability. But there he was, smiling at her so kindly, the shine of his gaze bright and reassuring. She mirrored his expression, smile gentle as she reached out to gently rest a delicate hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad; because I do. Always.”

[discountdyke]

also i think ppl are willing to overlook a lot of actual bad writing in kh bc “haha kh is craAaAaAazy!!!” but its like. soras relationship with kairi is almost completely shown by characters saying “kairis important to you!” and him being like “kairi...my friend...” like its definitely worse with her and riku bc u really have to take their friendship on faith bc i dont think they are EVER shown being friends. in kh2 shes a vehicle to reunite her two male friends, the reason sora cries when he sees riku and not kairi isnt as much about intentional homoerotic subtext as it is just having a completely flat character thats just there to move the story along. omg we have to save kairi, omg kairi got kidnapped, omg kairi just got fridged to further soras character development! shes not a character shes a plot device. its literally just blatantly bad writing and i dont understand when ppl are like “omg she has a keyblade shes such a strong female character”. like even aqua who is physically strong and has her own playable story isnt a strong female character bc her arc revolves around the three men in her life. go after terra, go after ven, do it all bc eraqus says so. and then get saved by the teenage boy deuteragonist. quite frankly its pathetic and im so tired of it being excused bc the plot of kh is convoluted or just flat out denied.

[destinychose]

FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS.

Ven’s relationship with Master Eraqus is a complex one. As he has no memories of his past or his time with Xehanort, he considers the man his father and loves him dearly. He constantly seeks his approval, desperate to make his Master see that he isn’t just a child who needs protecting, that he can be trusted with the same level of responsibility awarded to Terra and Aqua. Despite loving Eraqus as one would their own father, he is extremely frustrated that he is constantly treated like he’s incapable of making rational decisions for himself, that he’s not strong enough to venture out into other worlds like his friends do. As time wears on, the feeling that he’s being caged and coddled continues to grow, but he is bound to his home out of respect for his Master and the unspoken fear that he really isn’t strong enough to leave on his own. He is but a ticking time bomb; when Vanitas cleverly gives him the right incentive, Ven finally abandons the cage which has held him for too long, uncaring of the consequences of his escape.

Following the revelation of his origins, Ven’s frustration towards his Master morphs into anger and hurt. Now understanding why he was kept so close to home despite his repeated attempts to convince his Master to allow him to visit other worlds, Ventus feels betrayed and he begins to question if Eraqus ever truly loved him, or if he merely feared what Ven might become were he able to grow stronger. However, he begrudgingly understands that fear, as it is something he feels himself with the knowledge of Xehanort’s plans to use him weighing heavily on his mind. Before Terra steps in, Ven was prepared to allow his Master to put an end to him if it meant avoiding being used to hurt his friends and the worlds he finally got the chance to visit.

As of his KH3 verse, Ventus has no knowledge that Master Eraqus has passed due to Xehanort’s manipulation of Terra, as he was flung into a portal to Destiny Islands before the end of the battle between student and teacher. Despite all that transpired between them, when he eventually learns of his Master’s death, it causes Ven immense grief and pain, something he struggles to deal with in the months following the final battle.

Ven considers Terra his own personal hero and views him as an older brother. He looks up to him in everything he does, oftentimes mimicking his speech or the way he holds himself— in his eyes, Terra might as well be the reason the sun rises and sets. He is loyal to a fault and quite often blind to Terra’s shortcomings, refusing to even entertain the notion of his best friend being anything but this invincible figure he’s built up in his mind. While his Master and Aqua begin to notice the stirrings of darkness within Terra, Ven remains willfully blind to it. He seeks his approval, to an even more intense degree than he does with Master Eraqus and Aqua, and is often looking for new ways to impress him or garner his praise. Ven is extremely dependent on Terra ( a dependency which comes into being as he begins to heal after his split with Vanitas ) and is willing to do whatever it takes to prevent his fear of being left behind from ever occurring, which is what enables Vanitas to effortlessly manipulate him into abandoning his home despite his Master’s wishes. Despite the imbalance due to their gap in age, Terra and Ven have a real bond, even if it resembles that of a younger and older brother rather than true, equal friendship.

As Terra begins to show signs of falling into darkness, Ven is crushed. For a while, he refuses to accept it, responding to any accusations with anger and blind disbelief as it conflicts with the image of his best friend that he’s had built up in his mind for the past two years. As he starts to uncover evidence of it himself, the steady, heart-wrenching realisation that his Master and Aqua were right begins to chip away at the perfect image of his best friend. While it’s not enough for him to completely denounce his friend, he begins to question himself and the person he thought Terra to be. He’s never given the chance to reach a conclusion before his clash with Vanitas.

To Ven, Aqua resembles a motherly/sisterly figure in his life. She is sweet and caring, which he takes great comfort in when experiencing distress ( whenever he suffers from nightmares, Aqua is the first person he turns to without fail ), but there are often moments where he finds her attempts to protect him overbearing. She’s a stickler for rules, which is often at war with his chaotic, rebellious side, which does create a small amount of distance between them. Despite that, Ven admires her magical ability ( which rivals even that of their Master ) and regularly marvels over her sheer skill and agility when in combat, to the point that he works on his magic in secret in an attempt to impress her with his improvement. As with Terra and Master Eraqus, Ven strives for her approval and wants nothing more than to make her see that he doesn’t need her protection from every little threat that might present itself. If he has questions he wants answering in order to sate his curiosity, more often than not he will turn to Aqua. If she doesn’t know the answer herself, there’s a high chance she’ll know which book he’ll need to read to find the answers he’s looking for.

After Aqua is made Master, that prior distance between them increases, made all the worse as she casts doubt on Terra’s motives. Torn between wanting to stand up for his friend and being unable to deny that he is beginning to notice the truth behind Aqua’s words, Ven is left in turmoil, a firm wedge driven between the three of them. In the midst of his confusion, his reaction is to lash out at Aqua, something he never gets the chance to apologise for as Xehanort’s plans come to fruition and he clashes with Vanitas, shattering his own heart in the process, resulting in his fall into slumber.

As of his KH3 verse, Ven’s focus is to defeat Xehanort and find Terra with Aqua’s help. He no longer cares about what happened in the past ( even if it is a conversation the three of them need to have in the future ); while it may be naïve of him, he wants nothing more than to go home and return to spending their nights beneath the same stars once more. No matter what it takes, he wants the three of them to be together again.

[mimiplaysgames]

in the shape of a star (2/5)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua Rating: T Word Count: 9,324

Summary: They have their home, and they have each other. What they need to build a new life is to find proper footing. But some things are still too difficult to talk about.

Read on AO3

A/N: Ohhh I really didn’t mean to take this long to update this one. But I’m so ecstatic to finally get out a new chapter, it took me a good month to write it and for now, I’m proud of it. I hope you like it! So many, many, countless thanks to @holyteapotofrussell​ for beta-reading this piece and making sure characterizations and other deeper layers are a good fit, this work would not have survived without your help, love, and support. <3

***

anti

When she brushed her hair, she did so alone - without the mirror, without anyone watching. After the bristles glided easily and she felt finished, she’d pat it flat, smoothing out the ends just in case she missed a knot or two. If there were any loose strands, they’d be damned.

It was a still night, the curtains drawn with no wind to disturb the glass, and no whispers behind an unseen reflection of her mirror, which to this hour stood pathetically underneath a discarded bedsheet. No sound disturbed her, and it would have been peaceful silence if she didn’t have thoughts - until there was a soft knock on her door.

Terra opened it for himself. “Hey.”

And Aqua couldn’t help but smile. “Hey.”

Interrupting them was a loud bang, like a lamp falling over, tussling some furniture. She tensed up, expecting something to endanger the safety of her room, maybe even another episode - the last one with Terra was something she still could not put to rest.

Aqua was ready, a list of spells reciting in her mind. But Terra’s quiet chuckle gave her the indication that everything was as normal as it should be.

There was laughter down the hall, a squeak and a giggle. Ventus was fine.

“It sounds like those two are going to keep me up all night,” Terra said with an exasperated smirk. “You know, I’m glad that Cheers came to us.”

Part of her agreed - Chirithy’s arrival meant that Ventus slept happily, soundly.

And through the entire night, bless that cat-thing.

But part of her didn’t want new adventures. Something was still… weird, and she wished to have her family together without any fear, without wondering if she had to prepare for any surprises.

She kept those thoughts to herself.

“They’ll be asleep before you know it,” she said. Call it denial but it was better to count their blessings and hope there were more where they came from.

“How are you doing tonight?” He stayed at her doorframe, head peeking in like he was testing the waters, to see if he was trespassing - not that he ever could, he was the one thing that brightened up the night.

It was slick of him to ask that question when so many others would have been more accurate to how he really felt: Are you okay? Has anything scared you? Do you need me to stay with you? Would you like to come to my room?

Maybe even: I need you, too.

Aqua nodded slowly in response, rolling her words in her mouth before she spoke as much as she fiddled with the brush in her hands.

Yes, of course she wanted him to stay. There was no denying that she wanted to be near him.

But no. She had rejected his offer for three nights now and she hated it. But still, no.

There were things that she didn’t want him to see. Not just yet, anyway.

“I’m doing okay,” she said. “I’m thinking of staying here for tonight.”

She should not make herself into a burden when she was already compromised: a Keyblade Master without a Keyblade. It wasn’t Aqua’s style to need this much, so the best defense for now was to steel herself and fight her battles like nothing had changed.

Except losing a Keyblade was a huge deal so she had to get creative in order to look like she still had her life together.

Needless to say, her boys weren’t very impressed with how she was doing so far.

“Okay.” His voice was respectful but his eyes… disappointed. He rubbed her doorframe, like he was comforting it, and she might as well tell him it was obvious the gesture was really for himself. “If you need anything-”

“I know where to find you.” She smiled. Who knew if it was convincing.

“Yeah.” He patted the doorframe once, and forced a smile. “Good night.”

“Night.”

He closed the door behind him, and she waited for the sounds.

Footsteps faded away, first over to the left, with muffled voices to check if everyone else was tucked in and ready for sleep. Then to the right where a door opened, and before it closed, the sound of a loud flick of the light switch. Light that crept under her door was now darkness.

She threw herself out of her chair, to lock her door before she cast Reflect on it, protecting her from whatever stood waiting outside in the hallway.

It wasn’t enough of course. She cast Reflect on her mirror, the bedsheet covering it just as necessary.

She cast Reflect on her closet.

To her bathroom door.

The window.

This was her new ritual, and she dared darkness to be brave enough and break through. She sat on her bed with her legs crossed, like she was ready to calm down now but there was no telling her heart that it could finally breathe easy.

The light from her ceiling glared on, suffocating the glow coming from her bedside lamp. They were brand new light bulbs, too fresh to make any physical sound yet they were still louder than sirens and they kept her up every night because they did their job too well.

Aqua wanted to be in Terra’s arms; she needed to hear his heartbeat, needed to see that his eyes were still blue.

Needed. It was time to do away with that.

Eventually, her body would do what was natural when it was exhausted enough, getting her to pull the covers over, getting her under the drone of sleep.

When her body eventually did its job, she saw what her mind dared her to see: a black horned monster, its blue veins pumping with energy, its snarled teeth trapped behind bandages, hovering right at her door without an introduction.

She made sure to lock it; she swore she did and here it was anyway.

The monster turned her lights off, and most of it disappeared in the shadows, its yellow eyes still hovering in space.

Aqua could not move her body, and she willed the monster away - there was still strength there, all she had to do was get up, it shouldn’t be this hard. She fought it before without a Keyblade and could do it again.

It floated over to her bedside and there it was, face to face with her, heavy breaths counting down to when it would start.

At first, it almost reached to touch her, but instead its fingers grasped the fabric of the bandages crossing over its mouth, struggling at first to take them off but finally succeeding. It said her name.

Aqua…

All the while a cat with red eyes watched on by her windowsill.

***

The only cure for a bad night’s sleep was tea in the morning. Despite her pounding headache, Aqua prepared herself with three open books for a hard study on how to brew the best.

She was not the resident tea expert - that title went to Terra - but she liked to play an aggressive game and wanted to impress. The books were spread on the countertop: one for tea with fruits, one for spices, and one all about the philosophy of brewing different types, at what temperatures, and for how long.

Aqua chose the hard route by creating a new brew instead of following a simple recipe - last night had defeated her, and she really needed to win at something that didn’t make her feel like she was a lost cause.

She opened the cupboard for two mugs to find that she only need one.

The Master’s mug, this enormous ceramic perfection with a painted, curled mustache near the rim. He loved drinking out of this, the joke being that if he ever wanted to change his style, he could always do so in the mornings with a side of coffee. The size of it made it more like a chalice than anything else that was proper for a kitchen.

It was one of the things neither of them could bring themselves to throw away.

Terra claimed it for himself now, toying with the idea of growing out facial hair but never following through with it.

In the Master’s chalice, she mixed her concoction: ginger tea with turmeric and orange slices.

She checked each of her books one more time, making sure that her equations were correct, that she brewed something worthwhile. She took one little sip - meh, it was decent enough, and now she was nervous that he wouldn’t like it.

Voices floated near the dining room - it was curtain time.

Ventus spoke first, his tone anxious, like he was desperate and needy. “I don’t know, man… You know Aqua. She’s going to kill you.”

“Ven,” Terra replied to shut him up. “What else do you-”

A sigh.

“Everything’s going to be fine, buddy,” Terra said, and she was certain what followed was a rustle through Ven’s hair.

Years later and it was still second nature for all of them not to take Ventus seriously. She felt bad for him.

The door opened and only Terra came through, making her wonder if Ventus was now sulking - if he was, he didn’t turn to either of them anymore. He turned to Chirithy.

“It smells great in here,” he said as though he didn’t suspect that Aqua heard anything.

Which put her in an awkward situation - ask for what they were talking about, or keep it a pleasant morning?

…Was she really that traumatized that she had to be worried over what Terra was up to? She should (and would) trust him.

“Look what I did,” she said instead, displaying the chalice proudly with a half-full teapot over the bar that stood in between them. She didn’t say anything else, giving him the opening to volunteer the information himself.

He did not. He smirked. “Let’s see how well you performed, Master.”

The rim of this quirky mug approached his lips, a huge caricatured mustache now donned across his face right under his nose, like a portrait of an era from long ago. It almost made him look like Master Eraqus; she really should take a picture.

His sip was purposefully loud, the smack of his tongue vibrant as he tested the flavor, a gentle swallow when he finished - he did all this without ever breaking his gaze on her, and Aqua found that she quite enjoyed the way he looked at her, and she definitely noticed how comfortable it was to stare back.

“I’m actually quite impressed,” he said as he set the mug down.

“Seriously?” She didn’t think it was anything special, so she grabbed it and brought it to her own lips.

Hm, oddly it tasted better. Maybe she always thought his tea tasted amazing because he always shared it with her.

His chuckles interrupted her drink. “Facial hair looks good on you,” he said.

“You’re not as clever as you think you are.”

“I am.” He took the mug back. “You’re stealing from me.”

Laughing almost felt normal, like they hadn’t lost anything and they didn’t have to be afraid of losing again.

He stopped himself from drinking more to stare in awe of her smile.

Then he shrugged it off and darted his eyes somewhere else - to the floor - as he sipped, sinking into a thought that took some of his joy away.

“What is it?” she asked.

If anything, she was grateful he didn’t try to lie about it. “I’ve decided what I want to do.”

This day was always going to come, she knew it. The easiest, most joyful days were always the first to slip away and she told herself the entire time she anticipated it that it didn’t mean they would be separated. She had to believe that.

“Let’s hear it.”

He brought himself to look at her in the eyes. “I want to train with Riku, take as much time as I can with him before he leaves.”

It made sense. It also meant that he chose Riku as his Master.

“He’ll be good for you,” she said.

Something about the way he avoided her gaze told her that there was more to it. “Aqua, I’ll be meeting him in Destiny Islands.”

“You-” She inhaled. “You won’t be training in the castle?”

“No.”

All she was able to will out of herself was to stare at her fingers, reminding herself that every student of the Keyblade deserved privacy for their personal growth and it wasn’t anything personal.

“It’s not anything to do with you. It’s just…” Tears formed behind his eyes and he blinked them away. “Every morning, every night, every moment no matter how distracted I am or how detailed I plan a better future, all I have left to come to is myself.”

“Terra…” Ever since they came home, he had a nasty self-hating habit and most of the time she wasn’t confident that her words would comfort him.

How many times would she tell him that she was proud of him? How many times did he say that she had no reason to?

And what was the point for all this self-flagellation when she understood him more than he realized?

She nearly told him - nearly - but there was something as thick as tar that glued her mouth together. She didn’t tell him that she failed, too, that darkness took her, that she got angry, that she attacked her friends and allies.

If she said anything he would ask why it happened, and there wasn’t a single word in the dictionary to soften the blow.

“Listen,” he said, bringing his hand close to hers, stopping himself from asking her to take it. “Either way, I want you to be the one to test for my Mark of Mastery.”

Her eyes met his. “You sure?”

“Yes. I want - no, I need you to see me at my best. Please.”

She understood the words he wasn’t saying: he needed to reassure himself that they were equals. In her eyes, they still were.

“I will.”

Her normal Terra was back - eyes filled with determination, with hope, with the vow that he would succeed. “There’s one more thing.”

She scoffed. “Okay.”

“I’m also going to be training with Merlin.”

“Oh.”

This she didn’t expect: him training with a stranger when magic was her expertise. She almost asked him not to go, almost spit a long resumé of how skilled she was and surely she could teach him if he was interested.

Which meant that Terra would spend more time away from home, too. “What would you be working on?”

“Oh you know,” he said, trying so hard to make her feel better. “Taming these powers some asshole who cheated death left behind for me to deal with.”

He failed.

Aqua supposed that in spite of how long they had existed apart, there were still journeys they had to take alone. Maybe sooner in the future, they would all be inseparable again.

Or was that too unrealistic to believe? Since when did her Mark of Mastery promise that adulthood would be this hard?

His fingers brushed hers, hesitant at first then relieved when she reciprocated, giving her a grip so tight as if he was the one who kept her standing.

“I promise,” he said, lowering his voice to a soft whisper, “I’ll be home every day before the sun sets.”

Terra smiled once more, stroking her thumb with his, searching her eyes, her lips, her forehead. “Just one more thing.” He brushed through some straggling strands, matching one side of her head with the other, making sure she was well-kept.

She might as well melt into mush and keep him here for at least one more day, at least to prepare a proper good-bye, but Aqua stood on her own two feet so he could start his soul-searching guilt-free. “Keep your Gummiphone on you.”

“You’re such a mom.” He gave her a gentle squeeze before letting go, the ghost of his warmth still on her. She cupped it with her other hand as if to keep it. It didn’t work.

At least he humored her by showing his Gummiphone tucked in his pocket, before handing his mug over. “I’ll allow you to have the rest,” he said.

His footsteps echoed in the entrance hall before they were muffled by the outside, and shushed by the time he was too far away. He bid his farewell to Eraqus’ memorial first before summoning his armor, the last sound he made a burst of fire as his glider took him to the sky.

The tea was still hot, but it had lost most of its flavor.

***

It would have been difficult for anyone else to find Ventus in such a large castle - however Aqua knew him well. If he wasn’t playing around in the training grounds, hiding in the highest loft of the library, or pigging out in the kitchen, then he was in his room.

How right she was, hearing voices coming from behind his door.

She knocked. “Ven?”

“Just a sec.”

He rummaged, and she heard the snap of a bedsheet. Timing herself to the movement of the fabric, she walked in, just in time for him to double check that his mirror was completely covered.

“Thanks,” she said, wishing her boys didn’t have to be so careful around her.

Chirithy stood on his table next to a carefully placed stack of books so worn out that the leather started to peel. It wiggled its ears and groomed its paws, and it was endearing enough that it almost looked like a house cat.

For as much as Ventus was the eternal child in their trio, he was way more tidy than Terra. Souvenirs from the Master’s adventures littered his walls and bookshelves, all neatly arranged so that they each shined without being shadowed by another. Aqua wondered if Ventus remembered each one’s story - she certainly didn’t.

“You talked to Terra?” Ventus asked, cautiously in fact, like he expected a fight out of it.

“I did,” Aqua replied, her tone suspicious. “Everything is fine.”

This confused him a little. “Okay. So what now?”

“That’s what I came to ask you.”

He made himself comfortable on his own seat, and if she didn’t have to burden him with huge existential questions about the direction of his future, he would have probably expected this day to be spent with another fun run in the woods, like any teenage boy would want to do. He still liked his poop and fart jokes (and Terra still laughed at them).

But Ventus was also the most determined, and she and Terra often made the mistake of underestimating him. He perked up with all the confidence of someone much older.

“Well, there’s a lot of questions I want answered.”

Immediately she leaned forward, her shoulders straight and ready for the responsibility. “Shoot.”

He chuckled nervously, his hand deliberately massaging his neck. “Um… I don’t think you’ll be able to help me with any of them.”

“Why not?”

“Well, unless Realm of Darkness gave you a history lesson about my past…” Ah. Of course. “It sucks not having anybody to talk to about it,” he said, and Chirithy stopped its grooming. “No one alive, I mean. Xehanort must have known something, though. It didn’t hit me until after he died, but now I don’t have anyone to ask.”

“… You want to leave, too?”

“I don’t know,” he said too quickly. “Maybe. One of these days, yeah. But there’s also…” He lost the words, and placed a hand at the top of the book stack. “I was supposed to read these and write the Master an essay. He postponed the deadline so I could watch your Mark of Mastery.”

Then he turned to her. “I kind of remember what it was supposed to be about, and I want to do the right thing and finish it first. Will you read it when I’m done?”

“Y-yeah, sure, if you think it would help.”

“…Why are you so surprised? Aren’t you my Master now?”

It left her with a breathless, dry laugh. “Am I?”

He shrugged, like it was the most obvious decision he could have made. “I can’t think of anyone better.”

“Ven,” she said, her hand running through his hair. There wasn’t a good enough thank you for such a compliment. Not to her anyway, all she had was a meek nod.

Then the responsibility, the honor, of being his Master dawned on her - she would have to develop an academic plan for him.

But what of? In the silence that followed, she thought of her Master and his strict lessons, half their time spent in archaic books and the rest in sparring. Philosophy was processed, digested, and repeated instead of debated. Sometimes they had formal lessons in behavioral manners, politics - even history if they were lucky.

Much of it wasn’t really relevant when all she had was her education in the darkest nights.

“If you really want to write the essay,” she finally said, “we’ll start with that.”

She took the one at the very top, the most worn with a thick cover threaded by ancient hand-made methods from before book printing was a thing.

“Affairs of the Heart by the Master of Masters,” she read aloud. “Ugh, I remember when Terra and I had to read this one.”

“Isn’t it awful?”

“The worst.”

Ventus shook his head with disgust. “I wonder if the entire thing is a lame excuse for a joke.”

She snorted. “What do you mean?”

“Thou shalt neither succumb at temptation and ne'er be fray y'est thine heart be ill-fitted with worrys,” he imitated with a deep, exaggerated voice, using his hand as a puppet.

“I don’t think y'est is a word, Ven.”

“Whatever.”

“The teachings have failed you?” Chirithy said, surprising her - she completely forgot it had been witness. It’s so much like a cat sometimes: watching, ignoring, maybe even judging.

“You could say that,” Ventus said with a nervous smirk, desperately and silently pleading at Aqua for permission to say more. “I mean, I don’t want to say that my Master was a bad teacher. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to protect myself at all. He practically raised me and I owe him a lot-”

“Then what is troubling you?” Chirithy asked.

“I wasn’t prepared to be fighting my own shadow.” He leaned back, his hands supporting his head to give off the casual impression that nothing was really bothering him (it was). “He had a face and emotions, his own view of the world… Nothing I’ve ever read gave me the impression that was even possible.”

Chirithy wiggled its ears, cocking its head. “Therefore your teachings about the light were incomplete?”

“Not at all.” He straightened up like a lightning bolt. “I knew very little about the darkness and after everything that happened, I think a Keyblade Wielder should know more about it. I mean, I don’t know where Xehanort got the idea to split me in two. Why me?”

“Your light has and will always be bright and powerful, Ventus,” Chirithy chirped with suspicious confidence, before lowering its head. “It is ripe for the greedy, and I have seen the strongest faith break apart and cast the biggest, blackest shadows.”

“Have you really?” Aqua intervened, now that they’re on the subject. It kept its own past so close to its chest that catching it on the act of speaking was a golden opportunity. “You have any other unmatched and infinite wisdom you’d like to share, Cheers?”

“Like?”

Aqua rested her elbow on her knee, her chin in her hand. “Tell me about where you came from. Who taught you to speak?”

“I was made scientifically, in a flask,” it said flatly. Maybe as far as sarcastically.

“Okay then,” she nodded. “Well, I’d love to chat when you’re ready to be serious.”

“I have doppelgangers who all share my name,” it continued. Ventus found this particularly funny.

“Yeah, sure,” she brushed it off, turning her attention back to her new student. “Ven, I get it, I really do. I wasn’t prepared for the Realm of Darkness, either.”

“Really?” Now who was being cynical. “I don’t think I would have stayed human if I was down there for that long… But you’re a Master, so of course you survived.”

It stung more than he realized, more than Terra would ever comprehend, more than Chirithy could measure, but Aqua kept herself calm.

She simply didn’t know how to tell them that the savior they all saw in her was really an imposter.

“I’m just saying,” she said, surprising herself with how steady she sounded, “that I don’t want to follow the same path as our Master. If you think you’ll find answers outside, then you deserve to know. I won’t stop you.”

Ventus’ expression left Aqua wishing that one day soon, they could talk about the future without the baggage of the past. He was almost shocked, like this was his first taste of being treated as an adult, and he liked it.

Then there was a shift in his eyes, and she could tell that he didn’t know how to walk the talk or where to begin. She didn’t know either - should she really allow him to leave when he wanted or should they wait until he was Master before embarking on a treacherous journey first?

“I’ve got time to figure it out,” he said. “I don’t even know what I’m looking for yet. I’ll stay here for now, at least until Terra’s done with his training.”

“Why is that?”

He said too much. “No reason.”

“Ven, you know I don’t like bullshit.”

He flinched. “Promise not to get mad.”

“I can’t make-”

“Swear on this stupid book,” he tapped Affairs of the Heart, “that you will not get upset.”

She sighed, lazily putting her hand on the ancient tome. “I promise.” Not a second too soon, she let go.

Ventus took his sweet time to respond. “We thought it might be a good idea to always have one Keyblade wielder in the castle at all times.”

“That sounds sensible.”

He was relieved - too relieved for her taste. “Really?”

“Huh.” It wasn’t for the castle’s sake. It was for hers. “I don’t remember needing bodyguards.”

He squirmed. “You promised.”

Her lips pursed to the point of soreness and she desperately wanted to assure him that yes, she wanted to smack him on the side of the head with that book.

But she had to admit watching his reaction was pretty funny. “Focus on your essay. I’ll ask for it in about three days.”

“I- I can’t read all of that in-”

“Finish it.”

She left him there, gently shutting the door behind her and overhearing him tell Chirithy that maybe she might be scarier than Eraqus. Aqua didn’t actually commit to such a tight deadline, but she’d wait a little longer before informing him.

It seemed the moment Terra made his decision was proof that they all had to own up to their duties, and that their vacation of peace and reconciling was over.

Aqua walked down a hallway far enough to be sure she wouldn’t be heard before whipping out her Gummiphone, scrolling through contacts. She understood the basic concept of how to use it, but it was still foreign enough that it wasn’t second nature just yet. What a strange new life she woke back up to.

She found it, easily enough: Ienzo, Radiant Garden. She made the call, and a video screen lit up, his entire face on display.

“Master Aqua,” he greeted. He was always so polite. “I’ve been expecting your call since we last spoke.”

She hated the words that were going to come out, but it was time to take that first leap of faith into the abyss. “I’m ready to find my Keyblade.”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “I’ve already conducted a survey among the team and prior Organization members. I apologize again that I have no memory of it, I was so young.

"But anyway…” He cheered himself up. “You’ll be happy to hear that yes, when Xehanort was found, there was a blue Keyblade and a set of armor by his side. Though I’m sorry to say that he experimented with it.”

She told herself that starting was going to be the worst part, and it would get easier after she swallowed the bile building in her throat. “Can you elaborate?”

“Not on any human, mind you.” His hand waved in dismissal at the camera. “He merely wanted it to cooperate. It wouldn’t respond to him, it was as good as dead.”

“Good.” Her Keyblade, her own heart and soul bound to a weapon, made her proud.

“However, all the failures of making it spark discouraged him, so he locked it away.”

“What does that mean?”

His eyes were far away now, gesturing to someone off-camera to leave him be for a minute. “He was very protective of it and didn’t want to give anyone else a try.”

Protective would be the last word she’d ever use to describe Xehanort, but this wasn’t really just him, was it? This was also a white-haired Terra, someone who apparently didn’t understand his own past, attached to a relic that reminded him of feeling.

It made her think of how doting Terra was to make her smile, and how enchanted he became when he succeeded.

And then she imagined a white-haired freak begging some inanimate object to give him the validation of a greeting.

She didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Okay, where is it now?”

“No one knows,” he said somberly. “I’m afraid I don’t have a better answer for you…

"What we do have is a shelf of journals, including personal diaries and notes about his scientific experiments,” he continued. “Perhaps the answer might lie inside?”

“No,” she said and instantly regretted letting it out of her mouth. No, no, no, no. She didn’t want to know anything about any of that: creating Heartless, locking people up, flirting and deceiving, backstabbing people who thought they were his comrades, all with Terra’s face and hands.

This was exactly why she didn’t want Terra to help her with this either. It was best to leave Xehanort buried and not do anything to revive him - especially giving his thoughts any respect of existence. Why did the old man go and make things this complicated?

Taking a leap of faith was supposed to be like dipping into cold water - unpleasant and maybe painful at first but the temperature should level after a while.

This was more akin to jumping into acid now.

Right when proper words had failed her the most.

“I completely understand if you don��t-”

“You misunderstand me,” she corrected, and she regretted that too.

***

Terra kept his promise.

He came home right before the sun set behind the western mountains, when there was still enough light to filter through the stained glass. It barely took fifteen minutes after he arrived before it finally got dark - but not fifteen minutes too late, exactly as she needed him to.

Aqua gave in and asked Ienzo to ship Xehanort’s journals. Now it was anticipating having to read them, and wondering what kind of horrid images she would have to expose herself to, and why why why.

She thought she had virtuoso though, and powered through dinner in spite of the storm brewing inside of her - which of course her boys noticed.

Ventus thought she was angry with him. Terra thought she was mad at him.

It wasn’t until after dinner, when Terra approached her, that Aqua realized the minutes had betrayed her sense of time - at least the library was a pleasant place to spend them.

Open books littered the shelves and she already forgot where they belonged. Right now, she was too busy flipping pages from the one in her arms.

Terra put down a satchel with its flap pulled back. It was filled with raw, cloudy crystals, like he had just picked them out from some mines.

“Crystal magic?” she asked.

“Merlin wanted to start with something simple.” He had his arms crossed, bracing for whatever she had to say that would upset him. She didn’t mean to make him feel this way, especially to the point that he dug for conversations to lighten the mood.

“I wouldn’t consider crystal activation as simple.” It was bizarre that they would start with this - even she had a hard time bending hard minerals to her will, and she was better at this stuff.

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

Awkward silence settled in. She was supposed to chuckle at that.

So Terra, nervously rolling his lips, scanned through the titles of the books around her, closing them and making a stack.

“You’re reading about spirit guides,” he said, not as a question but as an observation. “Interesting. Is this about Cheers?”

“He’s a punk and won’t answer my questions.” She scoffed at the realization that she was probably fooling herself. “There isn’t a single mention of a Chirithy in any of these books.”

“I see.” He sneaked glances at her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. “Is that what’s bothering you?”

“No,” she said weakly. She supposed she couldn’t avoid it anymore. “If I want to find Stormfall, I’ll have to read through Xehanort’s personal diaries.”

“Oh, Aqua.” The horror in his voice confirmed her worst fears. “I’m so sorry.”

“There’s no guarantee that I’ll find what I’m looking for, either. I could be exposing myself to nonsense for no good reason.”

He leaned forward, his fingers bracing her shoulder and she remembered that he was warm. “What can I do to help?”

“Oh-” She shook her head and it made him feel worse. Terra always hated to be left out, and this was especially touchy considering the guilt leaking out of his eyes. “Terra, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to…”

“Read them.” He sighed. There was a question at the tip of his tongue, something he attempted multiple times to ask but zipped himself up. “… Do you not feel safe around me anymore?”

“What?”

“I’m asking since you won't…” He barely looked at her, whatever he was thinking of embarrassed him. She bet it was because she wouldn’t sleep in his room anymore.

“Of course I do, that’s not it at all…”

If only she had the gift to inspire with her words, to talk about these things without hurting his feelings. Both of them lived with shackles on their ankles from their past transgressions, heavy enough to sink them because it mattered that much that they’d drown if they didn’t tread lightly.

It was an awful way to exist. “I’m not getting better,” she said.

“I think it’s my fault because of the situation with the stupid chandelier.”

That was only partially true. How could she let him know that being around him made her breathe easier? “It’s not. There’s just some things I think is best to fight alone, you know?”

He bitterly scoffed. “I wish you would tell me how I can help.”

“Look at me.” She wondered if sometimes it hurt him to do so. Her fingers gently grazed his, welcoming an embrace so he could be comforted by the things she was terrible at saying. “I will have to read some very upsetting things, and there will be days when I won’t be okay. I’ll need you to listen when that happens. I’ll need you to be a shoulder for me.”

It sounded weird to ask him to do that. It used to be that they would promise things like to tell the other when they’re wrong, to always split the food in equal thirds, to pass the exam together. She stood on her own and he did just fine, too - like they were equals. Asking for his strength didn’t used to be status quo but she could see how desperately he wanted to be there for her and how much brighter he was when she let him in.

He squeezed her hand tighter. “I’ll do my best.”

In the meantime, she would shoulder herself that night, to try again and sleep on her own before dumping loads on her best friend with anything else that would add weight to his burdens.

Soon enough, even though she made (triple) sure that her barriers were solid and tall, someone turned off the lights in her room as soon as she got into bed.

Someone sat at her vanity table, shadows cloaking enough to hide the identity but leaving a silhouette.

Someone breathed.

Someone shifted comfortably in her chair, watching her.

Close your eyes, said a female voice.

Aqua wouldn’t, she’d die if she did.

The figure stirred when she refused, and crept closer to the bed, soft footsteps thudding on her carpet.

Once again, Aqua was a hostage in her body.

Her own face corrupted with golden eyes sauntered into the moonlight, looking down with disdain and curiosity.

Close them, her double said with the demand for appeasement, as if darkness required a toll to let her move.

Her anti-self firmly pressed a scaly, frigid finger to her lips to shush her whimpering, before clasping a claw stained with a bitter red over her eyelids.

***

Ironically, her favorite pastime was only something she could do in the dark.

Aqua had spent years forgetting that the darkness was capable of doing anything beautiful, its one and only good deed being its necessary presence when it let the stars out.

With her boys, it was easier to go outside and rely on their cues on whether danger lurked near. It never did in the Land of Departure; she knew this and yet somehow she still found ways not to believe it.

Their night time picnics took place in the safety of huge lanterns that lit the way through the training grounds, the dark mountains far enough away to look like an unassuming painting. Of course, it would be easier to see the stars in the forests, where artificial light had no power, but Aqua needed constant reassurance that nothing in the shadows would swallow her back to hell.

That was always the point - stay in the light and she could prepare herself for what was coming. Aqua prayed that one day she could be ordinary again, just to be able to camp in the wild like she used to.

Tonight, Ven’s laugh made it seem like night never existed in the first place.

With a stick, a string, and a few molted feathers, he madeshift a cat toy for Chirithy - though it was entirely unamused and it squinted enough that it might have been annoyed. Terra tossed snarky comments that Ventus should find someone his own size to pick on (Terra was out of the question, much too big and much too strong).

While it was pleasant to enjoy a picnic with her boys like the old days, something about it didn’t feel so normal - Chirithy would always be a living reminder that the Master was dead, and maybe that was a blessing: she could spare herself the grief of expecting him to join them.

She grabbed a wrapped rice ball from the basket - each was filled with spiced chicken, to Terra’s delight - and bit into it.

“I’ve been procrastinating,” she said to Terra who sat next to her on the checkered blanket, low enough that Ventus wouldn’t hear.

He nodded, a half-eaten treat in one hand that he immediately ignored. “Have you read anything?”

It had been several days that she left the journals in a neglected pile in the Master’s office.

“Yeah.” All she did so far was peek into one, figuratively tossing a coin between the chance that it would be written with Terra’s handwriting or someone else’s…

It turned out to be someone else’s, the word ‘heart’ written on the page she pulled open. She shut it immediately because she couldn’t handle the nausea.

Terra didn’t ask for more information, forgetting he had food in his hand as his eyes glazed over and left the picnic he was supposed to be a part of.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked.

“No.” He shifted, leaning away like his first instinct was to avoid her and she hated how guilty he seemed all the time.

Then, after a time, he forced a smile - he really was good at giving himself silent pep talks to bravely face whatever he was worried about. “I saw Nami today.”

For having their lives ruined for years, it was honestly good that he had such a trusted friend in Naminé. “How is she?”

“She’s good.” It was strange that he was nervous to speak about her, sitting on his legs in an awkward angle that it couldn’t be comfortable.

“Terra.”

“Yeah?”

“What is it?”

By now, Ventus was quiet, joining them on the blanket in the hopes of getting himself something delicious, but whatever appetite he had abandoned him in the presence of such tension. Chirithy crawled onto his lap, and to anyone else they looked like a boy keeping his stuffed animal close for comfort.

Actually, on second thought, he too was bracing himself for what was coming. Ventus knew something.

“Okay,” she commanded, “let’s have it.”

Rice fell in tiny clunks on the picnic blanket, like specks of snow. Terra didn’t notice. “I asked her to…” He cleared his throat. “To rechain some of the memories that are disconnected from me.”

Her heart stopped. “Excuse me?”

“Riku was with me, I didn’t do it alone.” He held his free hand up in surrender.

“I didn’t-” She snapped, trapping her breath because she needed something to punish. “I didn’t ask for this.”

“I know.” He looked past her, the courage to address her directly fleeting. “I only wanted to help.”

“And what do you think it’s going to do to you?” She dropped her rice ball and it splattered. “Did you think it was a good idea?”

“Aqua,” Ventus objected, his brow furrowed like he was the one offended. “This is Terra we’re talking about. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

“Oh, but hurting himself is fine.”

“You’re not getting any better.” Ventus leaned over, his hand drawing his points in the air, his tone slicing as sharp as mountain gusts. “And we both knew that you shouldn’t be without a Keyblade. He said he was trying to help you out, or are you deaf?”

His words cut deeply enough to make her wince, and she wondered if it was a whiplash she started herself.

Was she doing it again, seeing Terra in such an awful way that she had to assume the worst? Was she going to have to watch him turn his back on her like he did before?

One of the things she regretted the most was refusing to hear what Terra had to say for himself that day.

“I didn’t mean it that way-”

“She’s right, Ven,” Terra said, waving his arm. “I should have said something to her before I did anything.”

If her words were going to continue to fail her, then she had nothing left except to crawl toward Terra, and lock him in her arms so tightly that it said what she needed to say better than she was capable of. All she had left was to hope that he heard her correctly.

He heard her right, taking her waist with both his arms, protecting her from herself. “I’m sorry. You won’t lose me again.”

***

Whatever it was that kept her company late at night - her mind, really - was the worst friend she ever had.

There she was on her bed, again, preparing for her routine: start with casting Reflect, pace back and forth, and then stare at the ceiling until she stopped remembering anything else before the sun greeted her.

It was bad enough that her boys noticed her deterioration, and they hadn’t even seen what she was doing by herself when she closed the door.

When awake, she wanted to sleep so badly but when asleep, she begged to be wake up. A proper Keyblade Master should have a little more self-control.

However, Aqua didn’t consider herself enough of a proper Master to really know what she was doing. Her hands kept finding her Gummiphone, fiddling with her contact list, and then dropping it back on her bed.

She was sick of nights like these. She texted Terra: Are you awake?

Almost immediately: kitchen. lights are on.

Indeed there was one path of lit hallways taking her straight to the kitchen, the sky through the upper windows blackened from the clouds.

He sat on a stool at the middle counter, head buried in his hands with the teapot steaming by his side and the Master’s mug filled to the brim. His thumb massaged his temple, and he didn’t give much of a response when she entered and found her place next to him.

“This is my second cup,” he sighed as he passed it toward her. Considering how huge it was, it was more like his fourth. “It’ll help you better, I think.”

It was chamomile tea even though he hated the taste of it. As she sunk a huge gulp, she tasted all the experimentation he did to make it pleasant: lavender, almond milk, and honey. He even added vanilla extract to make it sweeter, which meant his insomnia was quite serious this time.

“Delicious as always.” Warmth filled her throat and solaced her chest down to her core, as though it was telling her that sleep wasn’t a fantasy.

Terra did not reply. With elbows pressed onto the marble and his mouth leaning on his hands, he looked elsewhere - at the wall across from them. His pupils shivered as hard as his eyelids, his thoughts fighting a difficult battle all by himself.

Aqua traced her fingers on his arm. “Terra, where are you?”

Whatever he was thinking imprisoned his full attention, but it let him mumble, “I have memories that aren’t mine.”

A sick feeling of I told you so bubbled in her stomach, mixed with imagining the horrid images he was remembering, and fear of the sorrow that was threatening to barge in. He didn’t deserve to experience this, and yet this was something Terra would have always chosen to do: spare her from the same.

“Please stay with me,” she said, both hands wrapped around his forearm now, gently coaxing him back to reality where it was safer.

He blinked as though a strong light beamed into his eyes, and several more times to stop the tears. Sighing, settling into the stool, letting his shoulders relax, he turned to her, taking her fingers in his, and he looked at her like he actually saw her.

“I’m here.”

Two words from him was enough. She handed the mug back and helped herself to leaning against his bicep, which was more comfortable than her pillow.

Terra took a huge swallow, his thumb gliding across her knuckles - ever since he grew into himself and passed through adulthood, his hands had become humongous. She used to amuse herself with thoughts that he needed a hand just as big to hold.

Of course, hers were dainty in comparison even though they carried weight far heavier than most.

Yet despite how much he dwarfed her, they still fit perfectly together.

He swallowed again, before croaking, “They’re still in the Master’s office, right?”

She nodded into his arm.

He steadied, leaning away to address her directly. “Let’s take care of them.”

Indeed, those journals were still in their same positions on the Master’s large mahogany desk, almost perfectly stacked out of neglect.

Terra opened one of the books on the top, and only glanced through it before snapping it back closed.

Whether what little he read disturbed him or not, she couldn’t tell.

“Do you still need them?” he asked.

That was probably the most cynical question he had ever asked her. “No.”

“Good.”

On the opposite end of the Master’s office was the fireplace, cleaned of soot. Terra didn’t need to mention it when they both thought of the same thing.

If a fire was built out of curses, would it still be considered a hearth?

It cackled and spit when the hard leather hit, and it would take a couple of burns to melt all of the clumps but the point of this ritual was to throw their shackles overboard and watch them combust. Every journal aflamed burned more knots from her shoulders.

She had a fleeting desire to touch the fire herself, and see if it could burn away the nightmares, too.

“I feel so much better,” he said, on his knees. “You?”

For her, the warmth lasted for only a few moments. “I’d still have to go back to my room, and I don't…” She scoffed. “I don’t even know what to say about that.”

“You should sleep here.”

In between the fireplace and the rest of the office was a rug on the floor and a long, supple couch surrounded by coffee tables and footrests.

She hummed. “That would place me far away from you guys.”

“I could stay with you,” he offered and realized it might have been an embarrassing thing to say.

“Terra-”

“You know what, Aqua? I have to be honest. I really want to be with you for the night.” He rolled his lips and held his breath for her response, but didn’t let her say anything more. “Maybe I shouldn’t even ask but I don’t understand the point of not saying anything - I just needed to get that off my chest.”

“Terra,” she said more sternly (but with a smirk) to warn him against interrupting her. “I want you to stay with me, but…”

Her eyes wandered the office. The fire shone a bright light against the furniture but as much as it was healing, it left heavy, glaring shadows. She had to walk to the entrance and turn the rest of the lights on. “I don’t want you to be bothered by the lights.”

“I won’t be.”

“And there’s just stuff I have to do now before I can even relax.”

“Then do them.” He shrugged, a warm smile welcoming her home. “Do what you have to do, I don’t care.”

She shook her head. “I don’t like needing anything. I needed and needed and needed so much for so long and nothing happened, and now it feels like I’m losing a game I don’t want to play.”

“But if you’re taking care of yourself,” he came closer to her, his arms crossed, “isn’t that more like winning?”

She was going to say that he didn’t understand what she was going through, when the straightening of his mouth stopped her. Something in his mind hung on to him, and it hurt him, and he was about to free himself and let it go.

“What if I told you,” he said, “that I needed you? Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

Nerves trickled up his arms. “It’s harder to sleep without you.”

She fiddled with her fingers. “I feel the same way.”

He cleared his throat, putting on a brave face to stop himself from chuckling. “Then please spare me from another awful night.”

Those were words that she could have said but pride was a sensitive, whiny thing.

She shut the door in front of her, and checked to make sure it was locked twice. With that secured, she murmured her Reflect spell to cover the entire doorway.

“Ah,” he tisked. “Can I play your game, too?”

Aqua stammered a laugh. “The windows, please.”

“Say no more.”

He traveled opposite from the door, and took extra care that his Reflect spell stretched beyond the windowsill. In the meantime, she worked on putting a barrier over the fireplace, before heading towards the biggest piece of furniture in the room.

“The wardrobe, too?” he asked.

Aqua wasn’t the type to feel particularly shy, but in this moment, she second-guessed herself.

“Sorry,” he said, briskly opening it to fetch a black rag and then giving her the cue to help herself.

“What is that for?”

He wrapped it around his eyes, tying a knot that scrunched his hair. It was thick enough to block the light pounding from all around him, and he squeezed her hand with his to remind her that he chose to stay with her. “You’re doing me a favor, so it’s the least I can do. Now we’re even.”

His fingers played with hers, and if they had feelings, then they were smiling.

“Am I going to have to keep you from knocking into things?”

“Maybe,” he drawled like a child. “I’m used to this, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spent quite a long time looking at nothing but darkness,” he softly said, his voice getting distant. “I don’t really need to see. I don’t really need to touch you either to… feel your presence near me. I can tell where the furniture is if I’m close enough. It’s really familiar.”

A cold nausea swept over her.

If this was how it was for him all this time… Was it the same that fateful night in the Realm of Darkness when the monster attacked her?

What was it called again… the Guardian? Terra just couldn’t see that it was her he was ruining, or was it something else…?

“Aqua?”

True, he didn’t need to see her to understand that something was bothering her. His head leaned over to listen to for a cue, and when he didn’t get any he lifted the rag to find her with one eye.

She stood still long enough that her hand went limp in his.

“I hate this,” she said.

He didn’t understand what she meant, and as though she had transferred pain into him, he started to slip his fingers away. She held them tighter as reassurance.

“Is it just me,” she breathed, “or was it easier for us to be ourselves before the Mark of Mastery? Tell me I’m not misremembering how we used to be, I just hate the way it’s been so hard to talk about anything.”

“Y-yeah. I know what you mean.”

“I want us to go back. I want to tell you things I wouldn’t say to anyone else. I don’t want us to have to hide anything.”

He nodded sadly. “I want the same.”

“Then let’s start over.”

“Aqua,” he chuckled. “I have too many special memories to start anew, but…” He tugged at her, leading her to the couch where he leaned against the backrest and brought his ankles to one of the embroidered footrests, accommodating his body until he found peace.

All of the paper succumbed to the flames and left a void where something could replace it and keep the hearth going, but that was the point. They were not made of wood; they were stronger than that, and they should be able to withstand what hellfire rained on them.

She followed, tucking his hand against her chest as she settled on the couch and laid her head on his lap, which prompted him to lift one thigh higher to support her neck. He began tracing circles in her hair and rubbing his thumb on her forehead.

In her position, she watched him pull the rag back down to cover his eyes.

“Then let’s start with,” she whispered, “what you saw when you met with Naminé. Where is Stormfall?”

He sighed, his body slackening despite the nature of the question. He let go of her hand to bring it around her waist and held her closer, as though she was too close to the edge.

“There was a long, white hallway with many doors…”