#ch tag: bal

[lightandfellowship]

[lightandfellowship]

Additionally, this set of lines makes it really seem like the star is Baldr specifically:

I was thinking about this star in the Final World…

In norse mythology Baldr and Hoder are twins.

Also:

[queersrus]

Fire theme

made with pyromaniacs in mind, but not exclusive.

excluding sun related names/words

tagging: @bpdxhoardic, @ponygirl-izzy

(nick)names:

pyr/pyre, pyra, pyro, pyry/pyri/pyrie, pyroess, pyroette, pyroetta, pyret/pyrett/pyrette, pyretta, pyrel/pyrell/pyrelle, pyroelle, pyrella, pyroella, pyrello, pyroello, pyrine/pyrene, pyrena, phoenix, prometheus, pyrrhus, polum'ya, plamya, plomien, pyralis fi/fy, fir/fyr, fire/fyre, fla, flam, flame/flaym/flayme/flaim/flaime, firess, firey, fiery, firette, firelle, firetta, firella, fiammetta, fiamma, flint, fintan, fuego, feu, feuer, fotia, foc, flamme, floga, fervor, flare, flash, flick, flicker ember, enya, egan, edan, eld blaze/blase/blaise/blais, bedelia, bridget, brandr, branton, brand, burn/bern, burna, burnaby, burnet, burnadette/bernadette, bal, bonfire tana, titus, tyson, tanwen, tanguy, tuli, torch, torrefy vatroslav, vulcan, vesta, vuur, vohon, vlam haphaestus, heat, heath, hearth, hestia, hagan, haco, hakan, haphaistos aodh, aodhnait, aodhamair, aguya, aithne, aiden, alev, agni, alight, ardor, afire, ablaze, aflame, ardent, arson logi, loki, liekki, llama, laga, lit, lighter calida, cinaed, conleth, conley, char, caut, cauter, cauteri, cauterize, cal, calc, calci, calcine igni, igno, igna, ignite, igniter, ignacio, inigo, ignatius, ild, incendio, inci, incini, incine, incinera, incinerate, infern, inferno, inferna, inflame kenneth, keenness, kindle mccoy, match, matches ogon, ogien geni, glow smold, smolder, scorch, singe, sear, scald

1st p prns: i/me/my/mine/myself

fi/fe/fii/firine/fireself fli/flame/flii/flamine/flameself i/igne/igni/ingine/ingiself(igniteself) bli/blaze/blii/blazine/blazeself bi/burne/bii/burnine/burnself pi/pyre/py/pyrine/pyreself py/pyre/pii/pyroine/pyroself py/pyrome/pyromi/promine/pyromaniaself ki/ke/kii/kine/kindleself smi/sme/smii/smoldine/smolderself sci/sce/scii/scorchine/scorchineself si/se/sii/sine/singeself si/sea/sii/searine/searself mi/me/mii/matchine/matchself li/le/lii/lightine/lighterself

2nd p prns: you/your/yours/yourself

fo/fire/fires/fireself flo/flamer/flamers/flamerself io/igner/igners/igniterself blo/blazer/blazers/blazerself bo/bur/burs/burnerself po/pyre/pyres/pyreself po/pyror/pyrors/pyrorself po/pyromer/pyromers/pyromaniers ko/kindler/kindlers/kindlerself smo/smolder/smolders/smolderself so/singr/singrs/singerself so/sear/sears/searself mo/matcher/matchers/matcherself lo/lighter/lighters/lighterself

3rd p prns: they/them/theirs/themself

fi/fire/fires/fireself fi/ire, fire/fires fla/flame/flames/flameself fla/me, flame/flames ig/igni/ignis/igniself ig/ignite/ignites/igniteself ig/ni, ig/nite, igni/ignis, ignite/ignites igni/ignite bla/blaze/blazes/blazeself bla/ze, blaze/blazes bur/burn/burns/burnself bu/rne, bur/urne, burn/burns py/pyre/pyres/pyrself py/pyro/pyros/pyroself py/yre, pyre/pyres, py/ro, pyro/pyros pyre/pyro pyre/pyromania, pyro/pyromaniac pyro/maniac, pyro/mania, pyromania/pyromaniac, pyromania/pyromanias, pyromaniac/pyromaniacs kin/kindle/kindles/kindleself kin/dle, kindle/kindles smold/smolder/smolders/smolderself smo/der, smolder/smolders sin/singe/singes/singeself si/inge, singe/singes sea/sear/sears/searself sea/ear, sear/sears mat/match/matches/matchself mat/ch, match/matches light/lighter/lighters/lighterself ligh/ter, lighter/lighterself

titles:

the fire. the flame, the lighter, the match, the burner, the arsonist, the pyre, the pyro, the pyress, the pyroess, the pyromaniac, the kindling, the burning fire, the blazing fire, the smoldering fire, the scorching flame, the ignition, the igniter, the firewatcher, the fire starter, the firefighter

(prn) who burns, (prn) who blazes, (prn) who sets fires, (prn) who starts fires, (prn) who loves flames, (prn) who owns a lighter, (prn) who owns matches, (prn) who watches fire, (prn) who fights fire

this fire, this flame, this pyre, this pyro, this pyromaniac, this arsonist, this firefighter, this firewatcher, this fire starter

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

SO.

I am currently working on a multi-chapter C!Goldenheart fic focused on Ballister's time as Ambrosius's caregiver immediately following the events of the comic, in the hospital and at home to explore how their relationship was transformed from something painful to the beautiful old gays we know and love. Idk how many chapters it's gonna be but probably like. 3-4?

The thing is I get nervous about publishing only one chapter at a time of a multi-chapter fic because I never know if I can ever really commit to finishing it. Because of this I try to take the approach of a showrunner who doesn't know if they're getting approved for a next season or not lol-- by which I mean I'll try to tie up all loose ends at the end of each chapter but leave room for the story to continue. You know. In case I bail.

ANYWAY I have the first chapter completed now, and I was interested to know what y'all thought.

Something to add is I do have multi-chapter fics up, Parenthood Post Arm-Chopping and Aftermath of the Re-Knighting, but in the case of the first one, it is a collection of one-shots rather than a contiguous story, so there is no "ending" for me to worry about. The second, I uploaded both chapters at once.

Also I do already have a one-shot that touches on Comic Bal and Ambrosius in the hospital if anyone is interested (What Still is Yours) but I plan for this one to focus more on their relationship arc :)

[sneezingfetishftw-fics]

Spring cleaning aka I actually organized my stuff

Links to my works

Tags

I only got as far back as February of last year, for stuff I posted/reblogged earlier than that I'll have to come back and tag it later

General tags

#my snezfic = fics I wrote

#oc snez = original characters, not a fandom

#furry snez = includes furry content

#snezart = includes art

#podfic snez = includes audio

#snez wip = wip of a fic

Fandom tags

(*) denotes a fandom I'm not familiar with but still share content for

#snezbin hotel = ha/z/bin ho/tel

#hellasnez = he/ll/uv/a b/oss

#snez attorney = a/ce at/tor/ney

#ineffable snez = go/od om/ens

#strange snez = str/anger thi/ngs*

#disco sneezium = dis/co el/ys/ium

#snezgon age = dr/ag/on a/ge

#sneezers gate = bal/du/rs g/ate*

#tmsnez = the ma/gn/us ar/ch/ives

#ave/ngers snez = ave/ngers* (someone please help me with more creative title, also the asterisk is cause while I've seen some stuff years ago I don't keep up to date at all)

#our flag means snez = our fl/ag me/ans de/ath*

#i dont go here snez = I don't think this is oc but I don't recognize this fandom, or I haven't seen enough fics in this fandom to bother with a tag

[lightandfellowship]

Yeah. It's all suspicious. The timeline (roughly) seems to be something like this:

Darkness Baldr kills Heimdall, Helgi, and Sigrun. We don't know what happens directly after this, but we do know that Vidar "being unable to bring himself to kill Baldr" (paraphrased) was part of Darkness' plan, meaning it was in Darkness' best interest to have Baldr captured. I imagine it may have forced Baldr to pass out or something like that.

(Again, assuming) Vidar, Vala, and Vali make it to Maleficent's castle in search of Hoder and the rest, but only find Baldr. Confused and worried, they bring a passed out Baldr to Odin and explain everything that happened.

Odin, either sensing the darkness inside Baldr or putting two and two together when he hears about where Baldr was found, locks Baldr up on suspicion that he's been compromised by darkness (potentially even True Darkness). He maybe tells Vidar and company that Baldr is a likely suspect in Hoder and the others' deaths, but dialog in Episode 8 suggests that Vidar wasn't completely certain about Baldr's guilt, meaning Odin probably wasn't completely certain either.

Vidar decides to leave Scala and goes to inform Odin of this (for what purpose we don't know, because Odin has yet to tell him about Kingdom Hearts at this point) and here is where the discussion between Vidar and Odin about True Darkness happens. This discussion is split between two cutscenes found in two different episodes, but the end of the first cutscene APPEARS to lead directly into the second, implying that this is ONE scene.

Odin (ambigiously, for the purpose of hiding the Baldr twist) warns Vidar that True Darkness may be stirring after many years of absence. In the second half of this cutscene, he also makes it clear that a vessel of True Darkness must be killed in order to also kill True Darkness. Vidar reacts as you would expect, horrified and upset that sacrificing a friend for the greater good is even being considered as an option. Vidar says that "we've lost enough already" (Hoder and the rest) and that he won't be able to face his friend (Hoder, presumably) if anyone else perishes. Is there any other way?

This is when Odin reveals Kingdom Hearts as an option. Despite Odin reitering several times that Kingdom Hearts is forbidden, he still reveals way too much about how you go about summoning it, which makes it seem like Odin is aware of how his words are going to affect Vidar. Unfortunately, whether or not Odin actually intended for Vidar to pursue Kingdom Hearts, and what Odin's motivations for doing this could possibly be, are both firmly within the realm of speculation. Like you mentioned, the conversation ends with Odin telling Vidar that, rather than pursuing Kingdom Hearts, he must instead study the darkness and learn to recognize the differences between the various types. Which is what Odin presumably does with Baldr while he's locked up for a week, since Odin mentions later how it's his fault that things were going wrong because he failed to figure out in a timely manner whether or not the darkness threatening them was actually True Darkness.

This isn't confirmed, but the underclassmen in Episode 1 make no special mention of Baldr being missing for an extended period of time (i.e., it would APPEAR that Baldr not showing up for class was a recent development) meaning that Odin's conversation with Vidar may have only happened, like, a day before Odin sends the underclassmen out on their mission. Maybe even less. Which also means that yes, like you say, Odin already knew A LOT despite him telling the underclassmen that he was clueless (and the upperclassmen could hardly be called "missing" if Vidar, Vala, and Vali had only left a mere day or so ago). He knew that half of the upperclassmen were already dead, specifically that Hoder was dead, so his excuse about Baldr not being given the same mission so that he wouldn't become needlessly worried about his sister is just a blatant lie. He knew what Vidar and the upperclassmen survivors were up to (or at least, he should have had SOME IDEA given that he was the one who told Vidar about Kingdom Hearts in the first place). And he knew that Baldr was consumed by Darkness, having already locked him up (again, the Baldr absence excuse, blatant lie). It begs the question of what exactly he hoped the underclassmen would achieve on their mission. Perhaps he simply wanted them to locate Vidar, Vala, and Vali for him, or maybe he knew that the underclassmen would be essential to Vidar's plan of finding the seven lights. In the latter case, Odin was lying to and exploiting the underclassmen, giving them a false mission so that they'd have a reason to leave the protection of Scala and become vulnerable.

So yes, to summarize, you are absolutely right that something is off with Odin. Even if the answer is just that he's profoundly incompetent, he's still a liar and can't be trusted.

Just speeding through khdr cutscenes to find the darkness lore when I noticed something in chapter 7.

Vidar did make it back, and he very clearly told Master Odin everything about what happened. Then he gets told about Kingdom Hearts, which he wouldn’t know to fuck up literally everything to try and save Baldr. In that cutscene we also get the vibes of Baldr breached containment but now I’m not so sure. I think that Odin contained Baldr after finding out he was present and then sent the underclassmen out and contained Baldr on the same day make roughly every chapter a day.

So Odin lied to the underclassmen sending them to find the V gang while having Baldr locked up assumedly studying him like he told Vidar to do. He planted the idea of Kingdom Hearts in Vidar’s head and the underclassmen but for them it was more of an explanation as to what Vidar was doing.

I need to know who Odin really is, because everything he has done caused something to go wrong especially since I now think he knew what happened with the upperclassmen and Baldr and still sent out the underclassmen anyway without telling them anything, and this would mean that he already knew Hoder was dead when he gave the excuse of wasn’t going with them.

That’s just what I noticed and theorize.

[matrixpacker]

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[volturialice]

why cens*r (fandom) words (and why you might be doing it wr0ng)

what do censored words look like in online fandom context?

this particular type of self-censoring—on a word-level rather than systemic level—occurs when someone uses special characters, spaces, or other substitutions to alter an original word/name/title. this is usually done in a manner that leaves the word legible.

examples:

d*sney

av@tar

m.arvel

n/ickelodeon

gr ishaverse

the most common version you’ll encounter is the first one, in which one or more letters are swapped out for an *.

what self-censoring words does:

removes a word that would otherwise appear in search results (eg “hann!bal” does not show up in searches for “hannibal”)

removes a word that would otherwise be caught by filters set to filter out that word (eg “p*rple” is not caught when filtering out “purple”)

virtue-signals—it gives your followers a hint about what type of content you oppose or do not like (eg if I see someone use “j@ne” or “j.ane/b.ob”, I assume that OP doesn’t like jane or the jane/bob ship)

subcategory of virtue signaling: humorous virtue signaling (eg, “I hate ch*ese”)

In its most basic form, censorship is like a captcha—it exists to fool machines or search algorithms while remaining legible to humans.

But because of its usage in virtue signaling, for better or worse, censoring words now carries connotations of Serious ideological Disagreement. This is why humorous virtue signaling works: “I hate ch*ese” adds Serious Ideological Disagreement to my simple dislike of cheese, and implies that I think cheese is somehow Problematic™.

why censor words?

to keep your anti-X content out of the X tag, so that X Stans do not have to see it (and potentially target or harass you as a result. also, it’s common fandom etiquette to keep your hate of a given thing out of that thing’s tag—more on this later.)

to discuss hate speech without actually using hate speech and potentially attracting hate groups to your blog (eg “n@zi, t*rf”)

a serious drawback to censoring words

when you censor a word, it doesn’t show up in searches and it also doesn’t get caught by filters. people who are triggered by that word and blacklisted it to protect themselves are now going to encounter it in your post.

things to stop doing ASAP

stop censoring trigger words. seriously, stop. this doesn’t mean you have to type out slurs without censoring them, but do include a tag like “f-slur” or “misogynistic slurs” in order to help those who have blacklisted a given word. if you’re going to censor “t*rf,” I’d better see the “transphobia” warning tag on your post. and for the love of god, don’t censor tags like “rac*sm”

consider people with screenreaders, who are going to hear your special characters read aloud, and use them sparingly. “a.lice” is gonna sound confusing, but presumably less confusing than “@l*c#.” (people with screenreaders, feel free to chime in on your preferred methods of self-censorship!)

these days, about 90% of the time I encounter a censored word, especially a word that is specific to fandoms (a title, name, or ship), it seems like OP’s purpose is virtue-signaling. it’s hard to tell who is and isn’t aware that they’re also adhering to basic standards of community etiquette by keeping hate out of a tag, but occasionally someone does something that makes it painfully obvious how unaware they are: they tag the thing they just censored. if I type out “d*sney” but then tag my post “disney,” I defeat the entire point of censoring the word in the first place—unless my purpose begins and ends at virtue signaling.

the solution to this is to use “d*sney” in the body of my post and “anti-disney” in the tags. anti-X tags have a few purposes: to keep hate out of the X tag, to potentially help you find other fans who dislike X, and to ensure anti-X content can still be caught by filters.

in conclusion, 

know why you’re censoring a given word. 

if your intent is to minimize harm, you may not be achieving that simply by swapping in an asterisk. and if your intent is not to look like an idiot, you’ll want to avoid mistake #3 above.

further reading:

what is a grawlix?

voldemorting

[germanyballartsandanimations]

🥛likes, shares, shares to stories, saves and comments are highly appreciated!🥛 Currently still in my hiatus, have the tbh creatures collab with princussy sussy baka @princedoesstuff muah muah amogus as compensation DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW THEM THEY'RE VERY VERY CHAD WILL POST THE SECOND PART NEXT WEEK BECAUSE IM FUNNY HUH this was actually super cursed to do i'll never recover from it We dont speak of the last slide...🗿 my brokeass wanted maphilindo tgt in the next post heehee 😐 🦵🦵🦵🦵 YIPPEE U can use this for icons idm!!!(ive seen ppl use it alrdy lmao 👀) credit to me and princussy is much appreciated tho 💅✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ Okay i gtg eat lunch for a bit now AAAAAAAA hope you enjoy this... rip my feed 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 /j CH USA SUPREMACY Have a great day/morning/afternoon/evening/night ahead!!! Tysm for passing by u sussy bal⚽️ Tags: #countryhumans #countryhuman #countryhumansusa #countryhumansamerica #countryhumansrussia #countryhumansfrance #countryhumansuk #countryhumansunitedkingdom #countryhumanschina #countryhumansjapan #countryhumansgermany #countryhumanspoland #countryhumansitaly #countryhumansart #countryhumansdrawing #countryhumansfanart #countryhumansmeme #art #digitalart #drawing #fanart #artwork #medibang #medibangpaint #fingeruser #tbhcreature #yippee #meme #sendhelpohmygod #artistsoninstagram (at Felling Happy and Wonderful) https://www.instagram.com/p/Chv8oMMJ_0M/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ajw720]

Actually one thing does not exclude the other. The question of that fan is legit and the excuse of friendship is silly. Ben could be his BFF in the world and still be publicity for his album, paid in cash or favors (especially the latest). I guess when he (his team) got sweet $$$ from Le/vis, Bal/main, Ch/an jewels and all the brands, and didn't use the #ad tag, he could say that the're all very good friends! Sure Jan. Did he play for free at the Bal/main show? Of course not, but there's no tag.

D is promoting B/en as compensation for his role in this nightmare.  Plain and simple.  Friendship my ass.  

[lightandfellowship]

Was Odin testing Xehanort here?

I’m starting to wonder if the Child of Destiny is supposed to have the ability to banish darkness/dark entities from people’s hearts.

I say this due to Odin’s wording in the scene where Xehanort strikes Baldr down:

Odin: This is our only chance.

Odin: Xehanort, rid him of the darkness!

I used to misremember this scene as Odin encouraging Xehanort to deal the finishing blow on Baldr, but no, judging by Odin’s phrasing here, he was actually asking Xehanort to save Baldr from the darkness.

But isn’t that a strange thing for Odin to ask of Xehanort? Odin is no doubt a much stronger Keyblade wielder than Xehanort due to his experience and age, so if banishing the darkness from Baldr’s heart via a Keyblade was ever a viable option, wouldn’t Odin have done that himself? Either here and now or before everything went wrong? Why is he entrusting that to an underclassmen who’s still in training? Especially when the spirit of Hoder, an upperclassmen on the cusp of graduating into a Keyblade Master, is standing right there? (I have to imagine he can see her there the same way Xehanort and Baldr can, especially when you consider similar scenes from KH1 and KH3.) Like, it makes sense for Eraqus to ask Xehanort to banish Baldr’s darkness, because Eraqus is desperate and doesn’t know any better, but Odin?

Instead, it almost seems like Odin was hoping for a miracle, hoping that Xehanort would, somehow, have the ability to banish Baldr’s darkness. If Odin secretly knows who Xehanort is, knows that he’s the chosen child who was sent away to Destiny Islands, then maybe the prophecy states somewhere that the Child of Destiny is supposed to be able to save people from the darkness, and Odin was hoping that Xehanort would demonstrate that ability here and now. Both as a means of saving Baldr and as a means of proving that Xehanort is, in fact, the chosen one as they suspected. Keep in mind this detail from the finale Q&A where Nomura says that Odin was entrusted with a task that aligns with the Blue Robed Figure, implying that Odin is somehow involved in all of this Child of Destiny stuff (excerpt taken from KHInsider, translated by Goldpanner):

Q9: What did Master Odin mean at the end when he spoke of a "teacher" and a "cruel fate"?  A9: Master Odin himself once had a master who taught him, naturally. His master entrusted him with a certain duty - parts of this align with that of the blue robed figure. This will be revealed in detail in Missing-Link, which depicts a later period. 

(Odin mentioning his teacher during this scene is exclusive to the Japanese dialog, as far as I know.)

But of course, Xehanort is not the chosen one, didn’t have the ability to banish Baldr’s darkness, and thus couldn’t save Baldr in the end despite his best efforts to do so, instead choosing to just kill Baldr when he ran out of options. So when Odin responds to Xehanort killing Baldr with “Destiny can be so cruel.” maybe he was referring to how unfortunate it is that Xehanort wasn’t the Child of Destiny after all like they were hoping. Because if he WAS, then maybe all of this could have been prevented.

Of course, this then begs the question: "Why didn’t Odin try to get Xehanort’s help earlier in the story?", but maybe it’s like the Power of Waking where you have to learn it through your experiences and it’s not something you just inherently have access to. Maybe a high-stress, high-stakes situation like this is the only way to manifest the ability. I don't know.

I think this might also give more context to Xehanort removing Vanitas from Ven in BBS. If Xehanort thinks he’s the Child of Destiny, and discovered that the chosen one should have the ability to remove the darkness from people’s hearts, that might have motivated him to try and demonstrate that ability to prove himself. But since he probably doesn’t actually have that ability, the separation process was flawed and resulted in two imperfect halves of a whole, with Ven falling into a coma and his heart becoming fractured.

[lightandfellowship]

The fact that Xehanort dedicated most of his life to researching Kingdom Hearts and ultimately concluded that you needed both light and darkness in order to properly summon it really makes Vidar's plan (find 7 lights) and potentially Baldr's plan (plunge 13 lights into darkness) sound like misinformed bullshit that wasn't actually going to work at any point. Which makes sense given that Odin was like "yeah we only have legends about Kingdom Hearts so we don't actually know for sure what the fuck you're supposed to do to summon it."

I just find this really funny because it's entirely possible that Baldr could've succeeded in getting his required 13 darknesses and nothing would have happened.

[lightandfellowship]

An aspect of Hoder's death that I find pretty compelling outside of just the effect her death had on the cast + the events of the game is the fact that her brother and friends seem to just be guessing at what she would have wanted or what she would have done in their shoes. And quite possibly guessing incorrectly. Which highlights one of the many tragic elements of death apart from the death itself: the dead not being able to speak for themselves.

Vidar turns to Kingdom Hearts because it might save Hoder's brother and he thinks that's what she would want. After all, her brother is someone precious to her who she's willing to protect with her life, as she demonstrated in Enchanted Dominion when she sacrificed herself to save him. But saving her brother via Kingdom Hearts means potentially harming the worlds, their residents, and the entire universe in general, and considering Hoder chose to confront a super powerful fairy all by herself to try and save Aurora, a random stranger she had only just met, endangering innocents for personal reasons sounds like the kind of thing she might seriously disapprove of. But it seems like Vidar, Vala, and Vali never considered that possibility, assuming that it was just a given that Hoder would risk the entire world for her brother.

And while Baldr's motivations are kinda complex and can be interpreted in a number of ways, it wouldn't susprise me if part of the reason why he wanted to purge the world and kill the upperclassmen was for the sake of getting revenge on Hoder's behalf. We know he blames the upperclassmen for not saving her, and it was the evil of the world that drew Hoder to the castle and got her killed in the first place. (There's also the element of "Baldr blames himself for her death but he can't handle the guilt so he's going to blame everyone else instead as a coping mechanism.") Once again, someone close to Hoder is risking the lives of countless others for her sake, ostensibly (though I'm sure Baldr is just telling himself that he's doing it for her when really he's mostly doing it for himself, unleashing his grief and wrath upon the world that wronged him.) And it's not just strangers at risk this time, her friends are getting killed one by one, all because her brother thought they deserved it for failing to save her. I don't think it's a stretch to say that Hoder didn't blame her friends at all for what happened to her and had no interest in getting "revenge" on them.

What makes Hoder's situation interesting/unique though is that she technically does get several opportunities to speak for herself after she dies, unlike most characters who die suddenly and prematurely. Once in the Underworld after her spirit gets temporarily brought back to meet with Xehanort and Eraqus, and several times after that when she's hiding in Xehanort's heart. But for most of these scenes she chooses not to speak, and when she does finally reveal herself and speak, it's during a scene where all of her dialog was potentially just a ruse to get closer to Baldr in order to take him out, and thus it's hard to say exactly how genuine her words were. Even when given the rare and precious opportunity to express her true feelings and desires post-death, she remains quiet, or chooses to speak but potentially with ulterior motives. Which actually fits how she acted in life as well. So maybe dying was never the problem, maybe part of her tragedy is that she never would have made her feelings clear even if she were alive. Which I think is a pretty interesting character trait for her, a character who values actions over words, a character who doesn't seem to be too concerned about explaining herself or being understood by others, a character who would rather just take matters into her own hands instead of clarifying her wishes to others who could act on her behalf...and the tragic accidents + miscommunication that occurs because of those secretive, proactive, and independent aspects of her personality.

Anyway, I have to imagine she kinda resents seeing her loved ones do these really terrible things in her name. Especially since she probably thought that her sacrifice was going to be the only one, no blood on her hands except for her own, only for that death to cause ten others. And as I've seen other people speculate, this probably contributed to her choice at the end to intervene. All of this tragedy happened because of her, because of her reckless actions and because of her friends and brother's love for her, and she needed to take responsibility for it.

"Dying was the worst decision I ever made." <- Hoder, probably

[lightandfellowship]

Sister tragically dies.

Brother does not handle it very well.

Affects the brother so deeply that the Nobody/Heartless creature they summon to protect them and fight for them ends up looking like the sister.

[lightandfellowship]

[lightandfellowship]

Fear of abandonment and not belonging seems to be a recurring theme in KHDR.

Xehanort is an outsider to Scala. He always looks annoyed/uncomfortable when people bring it up, and quickly changes the subject.

Vor decides to leave her friends because she questions if she truly belongs with them. She also thinks that her friends eventually leaving her is inevitable and unavoidable.

Eraqus reacts very strongly to Vor leaving him, even going so far as to try and bring her back home himself despite her wishes.

Baldr's fear of Hoder abandoning him results in him following her to Enchanted Dominion.

Baldr asks Xehanort if he really thinks he's "like them" and tries to exploit Xehanort's fears of being different.

Xehanort and Eraqus end up alone in the end, with all their friends "leaving them" in one way or another. Though they react differently, this loss affects them both deeply.

Eraqus and Xehanort end up embodying the fears of abandonment and not belonging respectively: Eraqus fears Xehanort leaving him and being left alone, Xehanort fears not being accepted by Eraqus.