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jgroffdaily · 6 months ago

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The New Yorker Interview

Jonathan Groff Rolls Merrily Back

The actor reflects on his journey in reverse: from his latest Tony nomination to his arrival in New York, waiting tables and dreaming of Broadway.

By Michael Schulman, Photograph by Thea Traff

June 2, 2024

Excerpts:

One of the problems with “Merrily” is its protagonist, Franklin Shepard, whom we first meet as a slick, philandering forty-year-old Hollywood producer. It takes two acts to arrive at the charismatic musician he once was, with a lot of mistakes in between. Putting effect before cause gives each scene a painful irony—but how do you get an audience to care about a guy who’s off-putting for so long? “Merrily” is back on Broadway, in a production directed by Maria Friedman, and it’s finally a hit. One big reason is its Frank, played by Jonathan Groff, whose natural warmth shines through even in the character’s older, sleazier incarnation. When this revival opened Off Broadway, in 2022, The New Yorker’s Helen Shaw wrote, “Groff’s silky tenor and angelic face elevate a part that can sometimes be contemptible—for the first time, I could see Frank as both the dreamer who believes in greatness and the glib charmer who believes every lie he tells.”

Groff, thirty-nine, is now nominated for a Tony Award, alongside Friedman and his co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez. He was previously nominated in 2016, for “Hamilton,” in the scene-stealing part of King George III, and in 2007, for the indie-rock musical “Spring Awakening,” as the rebellious schoolboy Melchior Gabor—his breakout role, opposite Lea Michele. Groff had come to New York three years earlier, as a stagestruck, closeted nineteen-year-old from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where he grew up among Mennonites and was obsessed with the original cast recording of “Annie Get Your Gun.” “Merrily,” with its themes of aging, idealism, and the vicissitudes of show business, has had Groff thinking about his own path toward stardom. “Doing this show on Broadway at this time, moving to New York twenty years ago, I’ve now lived the time frame of the show,” he told me recently.

We were talking at a bakery north of Washington Square Park. Groff had glided in on a bicycle. As we spoke, he frequently welled up with tears—he’s a crier—but regained his composure by focussing on a pair of googly eyes affixed to the wall behind me. For our conversation, which has been edited and condensed, I had an experiment in mind.

Let’s start with the extremely recent past. Three days ago, you went to the Met Gala. How was your night?

The big headline for me was Lea Michele was pregnant, and I sat next to her at the table, holding her giant train thing while she peed. She took it off, and I was holding that and her purse. I saw Zac Posen, who was at our table, help Kim Kardashian up the little tiny stairs, and I said to him, “Wow, that was such a sweet moment of the gay helping the diva.” I was relating to him, like with me and Lea. It’s a zoo of famous people. I was going to go to the after-parties, but my body was just, like, “No.” I hit a wall from the shows and the epicness of the week, with the Tony nominations. So I was home by eleven-forty-five, and in bed by midnight.

The Broadway production of “Merrily” opened last fall. You told Jimmy Fallon that Meryl Streep came to your dressing room, where you have a bar named BARbra, and she took a video of you and sent it to Barbra Streisand. Who else has been there?

The first thing that comes to me is sitting in BARbra in October or November, drinking whiskey with Sutton Foster. I came to New York as a teen-ager and saw her six times in “Thoroughly Modern Millie”—now she’s in BARbra, dropping in for, like, an hour and a half after the show, and it’s so full circle. Who else? Patti LuPone was there—another big one for me. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Martin McDonagh. Glenn Close sent back a bottle of champagne to be chilled in BARbra, which we drank together.

This show, like every Sondheim show, is very dense. Over the course of three hundred-plus performances, are there certain moments that have suddenly hit you a different way, or that you realize have a double meaning?

Double, triple, quadruple, infinity. I’m still having revelations, which really makes me believe that it’s a true work of art. Maria [Friedman] talks about how, with Sondheim’s writing, he “leaves space,” which is why it’s always new. He always needed to work with a collaborator, and she talked about the actor being an essential collaborator. She said the lyric he wrote in “Sunday in the Park with George”—“Anything you do, / let it come from you, / then it will be new”—is Sondheim’s directive to the actor.

The Tuesday after the Tony nominations, I got to the theatre, screamed with Lindsay [Mendez], screamed with Dan [Radcliffe]. [He chokes up.] Then I was singing “Growing Up”—“So old friends, don’t you see we can have it all?”—which has meant so many different things to me in the run of the show. At yesterday’s matinée, Dan and I were sitting on the roof singing “Our Time”: “Up to us, pal, to show ’em.” We’ve done it a million times. We look at each other, and Dan just fucking loses it crying. He had to look away from me. We talked about it afterward, like, “What the fuck was that?” I don’t know. Something just happened.

When you started the show, in 2022, at New York Theatre Workshop, were there kinks in your performance that you’ve since figured out?

I remember feeling shocked at being disliked for so long in the first half of the first act. It was very clear from the energy of the audience that they loved Mary in the opening scene—immediately, they’re on her side. I’m out here as a gay guy, playing this straight, two-timing Hollywood producer who’s cheating on his wife. I’m already having to feel confident in a way that I don’t in my everyday life, this sort of swagger. And the audience hates me. I remember feeling scared and self-conscious. Maria, in that preview process, really helped with that, because she talked about the value of when it’s real, and you’re not playing ugly just to be ugly. The one line that I really struggled with was “I’m just acting like it all matters so people can’t see how much I hate my life and how much I wish the whole goddam thing was over.” That is a really confronting thing to say.

People might say that this is one of the fundamental flaws of “Merrily We Roll Along”—that you’re confronted with this cynical, smarmy Frank in the first act, and you don’t really understand him until the show’s over. I can imagine going into this not knowing if that’s a solvable problem, because it hadn’t been for decades.

Well, Maria wanted us to find the truth. She really believed that these characters weren’t archetypes, that there’s humanity in the writing from beginning to end. I found it after that first week or two of previews, not being so afraid. The line that made me want to do the show was “I’ve made only one mistake in my life, but I’ve made it over and over and over. That was saying yes when I meant no.” I’ve done that a lot in my life, and there was something that felt like the closeted version of myself. George Furth and Stephen Sondheim—I can only imagine being gay at the time that they were gay. Even though Frank is straight, there’s so much repression that feels very familiar to me.

Except that you felt it at the beginning of your life and not the middle, as Frank does.

Yes and no. I still feel it. I’m still trying every day not to go back. I’m obviously out of the closet, so that’s a huge relief, but I’m always going to be reckoning with the Republican upbringing that I had. I’m always negotiating whatever homophobia I’ve got. It’s all in there, still. What we see as ugliness in the top of the show, to stand and say, “I want to fucking kill myself, I hate my life,” and not overdramatize it but try to find it in the most pure, truthful place—it’s still, every night, a meditation to go there.

Let’s wind back. In 2021, you played Agent Smith in “The Matrix Resurrections.” Any good stories about Keanu Reeves?

Getting to play Agent Smith really unlocked rage inside of me that I didn’t know was there. That’s helped me so much with “Merrily,” particularly in the first act. Learning the kung fu was, like, months of fight training. They called me the Savage, because I was so into it. We were shooting a big fight sequence with Keanu, and, after the first few takes, I remember Lana [Wachowski] at the monitor, like, “Jonathan, come over here. Who is that?” I was, like, “I don’t know.” And she was, like, “And what is that?” I said, “Gay rage?”

I’d never shot a gun before. I shot Keanu and thought I had peed my pants, because I had this hot feeling. You know when you pee yourself and it’s warm? It lasted about ten minutes and then it went away. I sat next to Keanu and said, “Keanu, I just had extreme heat from my groin for, like, ten minutes.” And he was, like, “You opened up your root chakra.”

You turned thirty that year [Hamilton]? How was that?

I remember it vividly. We were at the Public Theatre. There was a fire in the East Village, and the show was cancelled that night. I got a cupcake at the deli around the corner from my apartment, on Sixteenth Street, and ate it by myself. I can be a bit of a loner, so that was a happy birthday for me.

(On Looking being cancelled)

But, in 2015, Michael Lombardo was our executive at HBO, and I was crying into my salad at some restaurant in West Hollywood, trying to convince him to keep the show going, right before getting on the plane to come do “Hamilton” Off Broadway.

I loved Raúl Castillo, who played your love interest Richie on the show. I interviewed him around then, and he told me that, since he’s straight, you all had to teach him some of the mechanics of what gay people do.

Oh, yeah! God, I love him so much. I officiated his wedding in July.

Let’s go back to 2013, when “Frozen” came out. You voiced the iceman Kristoff and the reindeer Sven. How did that film change your life?

It’s funny—I remember recording some of “Frozen” in San Francisco. I would be teaching Raúl, like, how to lick my asshole while jerking me off—not teaching him, but sharing the ins and outs of gay intimacy—and then going into the recording studio on a Saturday and being Kristoff and Sven in a Disney movie.

When they showed me “Let It Go” for the first time, I was, like, Oh, my God, this will help millions of people come out of the closet. This is the gayest thing I’ve seen in my life! That was the thing about “Frozen”: I don’t think anyone who worked on it thought it was going to be a juggernaut. It’s so weird to think of this now, but when it came out it felt quite alternative, because there was no villain, really, and the love was between two women. Now there are, like, tissues with Elsa on it.

Now we’re moving backward to “Spring Awakening.” By the time it moved to Broadway, in 2006, you were the twenty-one-year-old lead of the coolest musical in town. What was your actual life like?

I was so not cool. The show was cool, and the music was cool. I had people dropping me off joints at the theatre. And I remember fully understanding the stark difference between who I was playing onstage and who I was in real life, which was an extreme theatre nerd who wanted to be in the ensemble of “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and never would have imagined playing Melchior. It’s his gravitas. And trying to tap into that side of myself, which was a side I’d never experienced before.

Tell me about your audition.

I went to the open call and knew who Michael Mayer was, because he had directed “Thoroughly Modern Millie.” But it was “Spring Awakening” and I was, like, There’s a beating scene? This is so intense! They called me in for Melchior, then had me sing “Hey Jude” in a falsetto, and Michael was, like, “That was your falsetto?” And I laughed at him sort of making fun of me. Tom Hulce, who was our producer, told me years later that he moved my head shot from the “No” pile into the “Yes” pile because I had laughed at Michael in the audition, and he thought, This kid has the ability to let Michael roll off his back. We should bring him back in the next month or two.

It was, like, ten people up for Melchior. They brought me in first, because they thought they would just see me and cut me. But I had worked so hard on the audition material. I remember calling my dad the night before the final callback and saying to him, “I know I can’t be this character all the way yet, but I—”[He tears up again.] I really got to get my shit together! Why does this keep happening to me?

Because we’ve gone on an emotional journey.

I guess so, in reverse! Fuck me. [Pauses.] I knew that I had it inside, if they would just give me the chance. That’s all I was trying to say, but I guess I can’t stop crying while I’m saying it.

In 2005, you made your Broadway début, as an understudy in “In My Life.” Now, this was the weirdest musical I’ve ever seen. As I recall, there were dancing skeletons in a song about how everyone has a skeleton in their closet, a giant lemon that came from the sky at the end, and a girl on a scooter who turns out to be a ghost. And it was written by the guy who wrote “You Light Up My Life,” who then came to a dark end.

And his son!

Yes, his son killed his girlfriend. What the hell was going on with that show? Did you ever go on?

I went on for the ensemble members. I was so excited! I was in my first Broadway show, at the Music Box Theatre, walking in where it says “Stage Door.” And you couldn’t give away tickets to see the show. People were coming to laugh at the show from the audience.

Like “Springtime for Hitler”?

Exactly. And the cast had to do the show, even though people were laughing at them, which is devastating for the actors. But we formed a little family. It’s the plight of the actor. You’re just out there, like Sally Bowles in “Cabaret.” I was twenty years old, so I was lit.

Had you been waiting tables?

Yeah. The whole year before that, I was at the Chelsea Grill, in Hell’s Kitchen. The day I got to New York—October 21, 2004—I moved to Fifty-first Street and Ninth Avenue, before it was super gay, and I walked down Ninth and got a job waiting tables. A week later, I waited on Tom Viola, who runs the charity Broadway Cares, and became a bucket collector. I’d watch the second act of shows and then collect the money at the end. I went to hundreds of auditions, trying to get my Equity card. That, to me, was “Opening Doors,” from “Merrily”—that moment of sheer will and ambition and ignorance.

We’ve now reached our finale, which is 2004. Can you tell me about the decision to move to New York?

My mom was a gym teacher and my dad is a horse trainer, and they didn’t really understand anything about the performing world. But my dad grew up on a dairy farm, and he was supposed to take over and become a Mennonite preacher, which is what my grandfather was. My dad didn’t like cows—he liked horse racing, so he sort of rebelled and did his own thing. My mom always says that nurse, secretary, or teacher were the options for women in a small town at that time, but her passion was sports, so she ended up being a coach.

So they understood the power of fanning the flame of passion. When I was a kid and into acting, they drove me to play practice. They drove me to community theatre. My senior year of high school, my mom drove me to New York to audition for this bus-and-truck tour of “The Sound of Music.” I got that tour, and deferred my admission to Carnegie Mellon. I made ten thousand dollars after a year on the road, and I learned so much from getting to act every day. I wanted to take my ten thousand and move to New York, and my parents were super supportive: “If you feel like you need to go to college, you can always go to college. But take a gamble and move to the city.” I’d worked at this theatre in Lancaster called the Fulton Opera House, where I’d met this girl who wanted to move to New York, so she became my roommate.

To me, “Merrily We Roll Along” is about how difficult it is to stay in touch with the person you were as adulthood knocks you sideways and forward. When you think about nineteen-year-old Jonathan coming to New York, do you feel like you’re the same person? What’s changed?

[He bursts into tears.] I can’t tell why I cry! When we were about to start rehearsal for “Merrily,” I would listen to “Our Time,” and I couldn’t sing it without crying. And, when I think about that version of myself—I think it’s because that person who brings you here does diminish. Maybe it’s the grief for that person. The whole reason that I’m here now is because of that person, but that person no longer exists.

But that person is still in there, somewhere. That voice is so quiet now, but it’s still driving my choices. You have to make choices. You get older, that pure inspiration dies, but it doesn’t have to go all the way away. I think that’s the whole point of the show, why it goes backward. Maria says that Sondheim put all of his regret into it, so that we could have less regret for ourselves. And perhaps the reason it ends with these people, with these versions of ourselves that we remember when we see it, is that it’s an invitation to remember and honor that person.

Why does that make me cry? Is it grief? Is it joy? I don’t know, but I’m so grateful for that purity and that optimism. The first month that I was here, feeling so lost and confused, I pulled the Bible that my Mennonite grandmother gave me off the bookshelf. She gave me that Bible before I left town. I was alone in the apartment thinking, What the fuck am I doing in New York? Or not even “what the fuck”—I didn’t swear until “Spring Awakening,” and when I would sing “Totally Fucked” I would get beet red. And I remember putting the Bible down and thinking, This is not the answer. This is not making me feel good. And then running to Central Park and standing in front of the Bethesda Fountain. I was nineteen, and I was, like, This feels better—but, like, What? Who am I? What am I doing here? I know I want to act, but I’m so scared. And gay. But it was something—some voice, some passion, some inspiration. Some something brought me here.

#jonathan groff #merrily we roll along #interview #Lancaster #in my life #spring awakening #Hamilton

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princess-of-hells-littles · 7 months ago

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The Magictastical Backflipping Master List (The Caregivers)

Hazbin Caregivers:

@the-spider-cg

@cannibal-auntie

@cherri-babysits

@caregiver-carmine (Currently inactive, please respect this)

@cg-sir-pentious

@papa-kitty

@cg-zestial

@husky-babysiter

@bigsisniff

@princess-of-hells-littles (flip)

@queen-of-hell-lillith (flip)

@the-radio-flip (flip)

@mamamimzy (flip)

@tiny-teevee (flip)

@duckciferthecg / @altlucicg (flip)

@mama-vaggie (flip)

@the-radio-demon-caregiver (flip)

@velvetebabysitvibes (flip)

@enmmyheavenscg (flip)

@bratboyadam (flip/multimuse)

Helluva Boss Caregivers:

@verosika-maydays-caring

@bees-babies

@caregiver-moxxie

@blitzbabysits

@fizzy-whizzy-cg

@your-hellhound-babysitter

@celestial-prince-cg

@octavias-owlettes

@mayberries-daycare

@wackford-cg

@strikerthecg

@ozziethecg

@bigbrother-striker (flip)

@caregiver-fizzarolli (flip)

Broader Hellaverse (aka OCs/non-canons):

@babysitting-hellhound

@fluffycreaturebabysits

@the-wolfie-cg

@riko-babysitz

@the-beatle-namedh0pe

@rae-angelofdeath

@m-and-m-daycare

@dreaming-gaurddog-flip

@cloudscaregiverservice (flip)

@littlest-owl-prince (flip)

@crowthejuicebox (flip)

@big-brother-hez (flip)

@rhea-de-la-bahia (Little)

Beyond the Hellaverse (aka Other Fandoms/Personals)

@Big-Brother-N (Murder Drones)

@rika-caring-services (Pokemon)

@pinkiepiecg (My Little Pony)

@ender-is-smol (IT)

@spider-caregiver (QSMP)

@carerboo (MCYT)

@qpeek-da-bandit (Non-Fandom OC)

@loves-caregiving (Non-Fandom OC)

@big-sis-uzi (Murder Drones)

@mamarabbitsmusical-emporium (Steam-Powered Giraffe)

@artificersshelter

@unclelamb

@the-golden-robot-boy-pepsi (Steam-Powered Giraffe)

@that-goddess-auntie (Epic The Musical)

@cg-deer (Non-Fandom)

@l1ttl3-l0tus-fl0w3r (Flip) (Undertale)

@eda-the-mama-owl-lady (The Owl House)

Razzle, Dazzle, KeeKee, and Fat Nuggets

@razzle-little

@dazzle-littledragon

@kittykeekee

@fatnugget-agere-esa

#hazbin hotel agere #cg!charlie #hazbin hotel roleplay #hazbin hotel rp #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel #themasterlist

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number1daisukefan · 28 days ago

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"C'mon. A quick look won't hurt."

[plain text: "C'mon. A quick look won't hurt."

Hey everyone! This is @yellow-computer-mouse's Mouthwashing sideblog :]

[plain text: @/yellow-computer-mouse]

That's my main, so I like, ask, and follow from there! Go check it out! I post about UTMV, Epic: the Musical, and WoF! :)

I'm a minor, so don't be a weirdo! Please!!

More under the cut! (DNI, tags, userboxes, etc)

Tags!

🌺#mmm mouthwash 🤤 - art tag! this is also my Mouthwashing tag on my main (disused now that I have this blog) 🌸#precious cargo - save tag! 🌺#shut up and eat ur cake - yap tag! 🌸#crew members! - friend tag! 🌺#transmissions? - ask tag!

DNI (do not interact - I will block you if you violate this)

🌺Proshippers/Comshippers/Neutrals 🌸Zionists 🌺Radqueers 🌸Anti-furries (from people who believe all furries are zoophiles to people who just think it's weird) 🌺TERFs/SWERFs 🌸Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, transphobes, right-wingers/centrists, racists, etc.) 🌺Anti-agere/those who believe all agere is NSFW 🌸NSFW accounts. It's fine if you post it occasionally /gen, but I am a minor!!

BYF (before you follow - quick heads-up! probably won't block you, but please respect this)

🌺Please don't interact if you post mainly about shipping Fresh Sans! I'm not gonna be mad if you didn't know, but as a Fresh kin who was romantic/sexually repulsed, it makes me uncomfy. You're fine if it's just an occasional thing, though! :) 🌸On the same note as above, please don't bring up X-Gaster around me! You can post about him, but don't bring him up to me. Again, kin stuff (Cross Sans) 🌺I may be really excitable or super quiet. I promise that I'm not upset at you at all! If you're worried or I make you uncomfortable, you can tell me :)

PLEASE COME BE MY FRIEND

🌺Alterhumans/Nonhumans! (therians, fictionkin, otherkin, otherhearted, etc!) 🌸Selfshippers (As long as it's not pro/comship, go right ahead!) 🌺Systems (I don't get involved in syscourse- it's not my place) 🌸Those with commonly stigmatized disorders 🌺People who are "cringe" 🌸Kin doubles 🌺Sourcemates (UTMV/WoF/Epic/Mouthwashing) 🌸In general, anyone who isn't on my DNI!

I am part of a median system with a lot of Mouthwashing fictives, and have a couple filter tags we'd like to be used! The lists of triggers will be updated as we learn ^^ We'll use them ourselves, and it would be nice if mutuals/friends could use them as well! /nf

More info on our pronouns.cc!

#daisuke don't look - Anything possibly triggering for Daisuke!

🌺Talking about the vent. 🌸Art of the aftermath of the vent, specifically if it shows Daisuke with a large gash on his arm.

#jimmy don't look - Anything possibly triggering for Jimmy!

🌺Jimmy slander (saying things like "Sorry you had to draw Jimmy, is your hand okay?" "Fuck Jimmy club," etc. Use your judgement!) 🌸Anything that might trigger his anxiety relating to this (aggressive posts about Jimmy)

Also feel free to use these for things you think Jim or Grant would like!

🌺#jimmy likey 🌸#curly likey

That's it! Be free :)

Yimpy blinkie by @autothiest, userboxes by me! (ftu with credit)

#shut up and eat ur cake

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natsuki-bakery · 3 months ago

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⁎˚ ఎ Ranfren Agere Headcanons ໒ ˚⁎

caregiver nyen with sebastian? or just sebastian agere hcs

•When regressed, Sebastian exhibits an intense fascination with old technology or retro gadgets. He might be drawn to vintage video game consoles or outdated computer systems, reflecting a childlike wonder and curiosity about technology

•When feeling particularly small and scared, Sebastian might express his fears about Nyen to a trusted figure ( especially Luther ) , seeking reassurance that Nyen won’t hurt him. Hearing that Nyen won’t, and that they actually care in their own way, might slowly ease his fears

•Sebastian becomes more playful and energetic, seeking Randal’s attention for fun activities. He might challenge Randal to retro video games, engage in silly pranks, or ask him to participate in imaginative play

•Quirky Humor : His sense of humor becomes more playful and whimsical, embracing slapstick or childish jokes. He might engage in humorous antics that fit his character’s style but with a more innocent twist, like playful pranks or silly puns

•Sebastian regresses by creating elaborate imaginary worlds or scenarios, much like children do during playtime. He might pretend to be a hero in an epic adventure or create elaborate stories with his friends, blending his adult experiences with childlike imagination

•His regressed state could involve a renewed obsession with collecting items, such as rare comic books, collectible figures, or nostalgic memorabilia !

•Sebastian often asks innocent, sometimes naïve questions about Nyen’s behavior when he’s regressed. He might ask others why Nyen is so angry or why they act the way they do, trying to make sense of it in a childlike way

•Comfort Food : During his regressed phases, Sebastian craves comfort foods associated with his childhood, like specific snacks or meals. He might express strong opinions about the best candy or the ultimate cereal, reflecting a nostalgic attachment to these foods

•The six buttons on his black shirt are a source of fascination when Sebastian is regressed. He might button and unbutton them repeatedly or just trace their outline with his fingers, finding the repetitive motion soothing

•Little Sebastian often touches or adjusts his white ruffle collar when he’s feeling anxious. It acts almost like a security blanket, giving him something familiar to hold onto in moments of insecurity

•Regressed Sebastian might display a heightened sense of vulnerability and trust. He could lean more heavily on his friends for emotional support, showing a need for reassurance and guidance in a more innocent manner

•He frequently references or quotes from pop culture of past decades, showing his childlike engagement with media he grew up with. This could involve discussing old TV shows, movies, or music with a sense of nostalgia

•His regressed state might lead to awkward or innocent interactions with the more eccentric characters in the Ivory household. He could display a mix of confusion and genuine curiosity, trying to relate to their odd behavior while maintaining his own sense of normalcy

If you're in the basic criteria , are DSMP fans, vivziep0p fans , h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl blogs, nsfw/k!nk blogs, anti-agere blogs, or anti Christians/Christianity blogs : just dont interact !

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cams-cozy-corner · 3 months ago

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Circe moodboard. Yeah that’s all folks

#sfw agere #sfw age dreamer #sfw age regression #sfw little blog #agere moodboard #Circe agere #epic the musical agere #fandom agere #got lazy with this one but blahh #art in the middle once again gigis. I’m just not @ing

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oakthefrog · 9 months ago

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Intro/Pinned Post

Basics!!

Pronouns: he/they and any neo/xeno pronouns Gender: transmasc/enby Orientation(s): aroace and gay (mlm)

I'm autistic :D I'm a therian I age regress

IM A MINOR!

Details abt C!Oak (a rp version of myself for some plots :3)

ASK BOX: OPEN

DNI: basics + anti agere/petre, anti furry/therian etc, NSFW

Fandoms/Interests!!

Shorts Wars, The Owl House, Toon Turf, Hilda, TADC, Undertale, Spiderverse, DHMIS, heartstopper, Epic the musical, heathers, BMC, MCYT, To Kill a Mockingbird

Projects/Other Blogs!!

Shorts Wars RP Blogs I run: FD , Joe Caine , Darth Schlorpo Sunday

other RP blogs masterpost

Other Blogs (where I'm not in character): -Vent Blog -Age regression blog -Therian blog

Lone Void (my web comic) - Read the pages and other stuff about it here

#intro post

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ashwithapen · 1 year ago

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⚠️ this post is edited and updated regularly! last edited: 5 july 2024

⚠️ note: this blog is the parent blog of the sideblogs @wolfdogmisty and @ourstarsys, so if you're confused as to why this blog would interact with you, check the sideblogs! :)

✦ ˚　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦

ᯓ☆ strawpage!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

hi, my name is ash! here are some things about me...

⤷ 18 | they/star pronouns ⤷ autistic, adhd, hsd, osdd-1b (system sideblog) ⤷ agender, greyromantic, bisexual, & queerplatonic ⤷ intp, aquarius, hufflepuff, 5w4, etc.

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some things i do...

⤷ write! i'm an author :) (prose, poetry, plays...) ⤷ compose music (i use musescore) ⤷ film & edit videos (check out my youtube channel) ⤷ play guitar and write songs

im SUPER into soundtracking & symbolism in music as well as abnormal psychology!!

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recently: i wrote an original soundtrack for a book

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i hope you enjoy :)

— ⭑

below the cut: tags, WIPs, fandoms & interests, and more!

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ᯓ☆ tags!

#drabbles: shorts

#poetry: poetry

#life writing: life writing

#creative non-fiction: creative non-fiction

#fiction: fiction

#get wipped lmao: anything about my WIPs

#ash writes (as well as any of the above tags): original work

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#ash.txt: for when i have stuff to say

#ash answers: where i answer asks take a wild guess

#don't give me ideas: writing ideas & prompts

#write that down: things to come back to/reference

#oo shiny: stuff i liked a lot

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#composing: i write music scores sometimes

#insane mashups: sometimes i combine songs and create monstrosities and that's okay

#music!!: where i yell about songs/artists i like & other music stuff

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ᯓ☆ WIPs!

heart beats fast; colours and promises

Viva La Ávila

tales, second edition

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ᯓ☆ fandoms & interests!

ranges from obsessed, to involved, to generally liking. listed alphabetically. i will probably post/reblog about mainly the ones in bold as they are my current 'favourite' interests, but anything is free game.

13 reasons why (show, haven't read book)

abnormal psychology (neurodiversity)

avengers + avengers adjacent (mcu, haven't read comics)

avpm, avps, avpsy (musicals)

bo burnham (musician + comedian)

c418 (composer)

circe (book)

cream crew (content creator group)

crywank (musician)

dream smp (livestream series; i don't support dream/dream team)

e7i (musician)

epic (musical)

generation loss (interactive livestream + adjacent media)

good will hunting (movie)

greek mythology

hamilton (musical)

harry potter (fuck jkr)

hazbin hotel (tv show; i don't support the creator)

heartstopper (show, haven't gotten to read the graphic novels yet)

heathers (musical and movie)

heroes of olympus/percy jackson (books, still watching series)

how to train your dragon (movies + show)

how to train your dragon soundtrack

hozier (musician)

jacob collier (musician)

james marriott (musician + streamer)

john powell (film composer)

magnus chase and the gods of asgard (books)

modern baseball (band)

mom jeans. (band)

my hero academia (show, haven't read manga)

nimona (movie, haven't read graphic novel/web-series)

origami angel (band)

rainbow kitten surprise (band)

sherlock (bbc show)

sleepy bois inc. (content creator group; fuck wilbur soot)

song of achilles (book)

soundtracking & symbolism in music

star wars

studio ghibli (movies by the animation company)

the 1975 (band)

the star and the sun (book; still reading)

the oh hellos (band)

toby fox (music, haven't played his games yet)

qsmp (livestreamed minecraft server)

why don't we (band; old fan)

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ᯓ☆ extras!

⤷ as mentioned, i'm the host of an osdd-1b system @ourstarsys ⤷ my co-host, Misty, also has a side blog @wolfdogmisty ⤷ i also own @jesterjac (agere)

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averagecontentenjoyer121 · 1 month ago

Text

This is the first chapter of my take on the Epic Musical story :D The main idea of a banished Athena story being inspired by Coqeuxari.

I hope whoever reads this enjoys it as this is really the first narrative writing I’ve done for myself, so I can put all my writing effort into it.

Feel free to talk about in the comments whether you liked it or not and why that is. Also I have ideas for the entire story I just have to flesh it out so if you want to ask anything about the story go ahead and I’ll try answer unless if it’ll spoil any surprises I want to add

Decided to post this directly here for right now as I had a AO3 account but forgot the password so I have to make a new one.

Anyways

One war

One decision

One Man’s desire

Chapter 1: Troy

During the late hours following the Greeks retreat from Troy its citizen came forth. Stepping out of gates for the first time in ten years was a strange feeling to these men and women. As they exited a strange sight lay before them. A construct of grandeur, of worship, of deceit. They gazed upon the giant brutian horse at its feet resided a being in a drunken stupor. Sinon proclaims the being as its consciousness breaches the blockade of alcohol surrounding his brain. He slurs his words into a barely understandable statement, “Da rest ov a men eft me ear o ells yeahs dis orse is to orgive oos for da estruction of yeas atue ta atena.”

“Good sir care to repeat what you’ve said.”

“Ifa’s ant oondand meh den ja shupid.’

“Appears the god of wine kissed his lips sir.”

“Clearly, perhaps whatever he’s said could be true?”

“I dunno sir, we’s can’t understand a word he’s said.”

“Get the prophet. If he can read the stars then surely he can read the contorted mouth of this man.” A man is usher forward by the crowd. Still bitter from the death of his child by the Greeks, he begrudgingly kneels before the man who’s liver had been battered as if punctured by acid. “A izah guy dat Ager megnom iled ah kyled ov. Erphaps oos ain’t ain amaged,” the man repeated the phrases that he told the other men in the crowd through breath that suggested his insides smelt only of fermented grapes. “ The Greeks have left this equine as a peace offering. It is meant to replace the statue of Athena they’ve decimated.” The crowd of men responds with an inconsistent mermer of, “ I knew that’s what he was saying.”

As the victors drudge the pine stallion inside their walls that repelled all attacks the Greek threw will now be the prison of 4000 men, women, and children. As twilight encroached upon the land the noise of praise, feast, dance, and victory filled the coffin. Inside the horse sat the Greeks finest executioners. The 10 year drag left them desperate enough to sit within the humid and damp body of the wooden structure in a ploy to inter the city and break out allowing for a festive slaughter. This disparate act was conjured by the very goddess whom claimed to value the Trojan no more than 12 hours ago.

However atop to mount in the throne room of the great olympians a pitiful scene unfolded. “Father!” Roared Ares whilst clutching his bleeding side as golden droplets fell to the floor, “Can’t you see? That pompous child of a step sister whom I share dominion with has caused a mortal to injure me! By her hand through his, she punctured my flesh! She must be cast down for overstepping your declarations! No god is to have involvement within this war, is that not what you’ve said!” Ares lashed about whilst spitting and hissing these words.

“Correct my adulterine brother,” snarled Athena through her beaked lips, “how strange, you enter the palace exclaiming woes of which you blame me. Yet you’ve overlooked the shortcomings within your plea. For how could you have been injured by a mortal partaking in the war without being a part of it as well, or perhaps you were,” said Athena as a snide smirk etched itself upon her face. “ How dare you! I wouldn’t have had to fight your lousy champion if he hadn’t speared my dears hand as she attempted to save our child-“

“There you go again speaking without thought. You’ve now admitted to your wife having been part of the war too, uxoricide through stupidity-“

“How dare you feathered lout proclaim that I’ve harmed my dearest!” Ares shouted as if it were a war cry.

“Perhaps I could get you to come forth with the names of the rest of your posse. Would save me time having to present evidence,” laughed Athena. Ares stood his armor rattling with a rage encased within his godly flesh. The rage of all the fallen in hades. A rage that if released on a mortal or army would be more devastating than any split atom. He stood there in silence as Aphrodite rushed to him having sensed his peril of which she had never felt before. “ My great boar what ales you! What’ve you done you unrequited orinth,” hissed Aphrodite. “ Why not ask your doltish pig, of whom I’m sadly related.”

One word was spoken. One word with range like thunder. One word which held the force of the greatest storm. One word which was spoken from the one that the trio was annoying, “SILENCE!” Zeus thundered, “Daughter, who might the rest of the guilty be?”

“The children Leto father,” chirped Athena. “Thank you, I’ve heard enough of your insolent bickering. It was giving a headache equivalent to the one that birthed you,” said the now tired and defeated sounding Zeus, “ You all have crossed a line I clearly set. Of which the punishment Ares suggests is fitting until you’ve each proven that you deserve to reside within this palace, as currently I see three pups arguing over the corpse of a rat.” The trio stands there in silence as they accept what will happen to them next. “Hermes!”

“Yeah pops?”

“Inform the twins of Leto of my decree so that they don’t question why they’ve been stripped of divine power.”

“Alrighty,” Hermes exclaims cheerfully, seeing this only for its hilarity. He then zips through the archway leading into Olympus. Following soon after a bright golden light fills the throne room. Once the light fades only Athena remains, “why have you left me father?”

“I expected better from you Athena. You are my most prized offspring, and yet you’ve fallen to the same height as mortals. Perhaps if I gave a visit to your favorite human you’ll understand that we’re not like them.”

“ Father WAI-,” the same light surrounds Athena as she is cast from Olympus to the base of the former Greek camp.

(Now watch Horse and the Infant then just a man)

Odysseus approaches the camp ground he slept at two days ago before tonight, as he heads towards where Eurylochus had landed his ship. As he passes through the charred ground he can’t help but think back to what he’s done. Then suddenly a hand jets towards him. He unsheathes his blade and readies it to strike whoever was foolish enough to sneak up on him. Right before he strikes he sees the face of his mentor. Before he can stop Athena throws him over her shoulder out of reaction. Odysseus now puzzled and with a dirt covered cape asks Athena what she’s doing here. He then realizes that she looks different. Less feathers, and lacking her distinct beaked lips. Also, she’s now missing her giant owl wings. He moves to speak when Athena reaches out for his shoulder. As her hand makes contact he’s shocked to feel its warmth, its weight, its mortality. He shutters as he croaks on his words. Athena explains her situation to him after which Odysseus wraps an arm around her shoulders which are a head taller than him and says, “ You can ride with me and crew back to Ithaca! It’s the only right thing to do when your life long goddess friend is now mortal and now requires the same as me,” he smiles with the dorkish grin he wore when she first met him all those decades ago.

“ I. . . Uh saw what my father had made you do from here, do you wish to speak of it or. . .”

“Nope I’d rather move past that as soon as possible.”

“Alright little man,” she says while staring down at Odysseus who’s 3 feet shorter than she is.

“Aight Atty,” Odysseus says through a smile of a kid annoying his mother.

“I thought you agreed never to say that again,” she says, scowling at him.

“And clearly I’m no little man anymore.”

“Hard to tell from up here,” she says smiling as they approach the bow of Odysseus’ ship.

Odysseus boards the ship followed by the giantess which caused confusion among the men on the ships until Odysseus interjected that she was an Amazonian warrior who he’d been friends with for years now. Eurylochus Examined her, unsure of her presence being Odysseus’ right hand. Polities ran up to Athena grasping her hand and eagerly shaking it, “ I’m so happy to meet you, any friend of my best buddy Odysseus is a friend to me,” polities said with a somehow even more dorkish smile surrounded by the stubble of a beard, as his head band covered his forehead.

POV: how it feels to post 1500 words of a fan story

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