#ep discovery university

[harrie-cc]

Coastal Collection - Part Six

Happy July Everyone!!

I've been keeping this set quiet this month, but livestreams will resume in a week for the next instalment of the Coastal Collection. This month I focused on the items required for a bathroom. I did make a rather cool discovery this month that you can add on a wall decor slot onto an item to make wall decor items slot. You'll see in the image above that I've actually slotted on the hand towel that came with the Growing Together EP onto the side of the vanity. As far as I can tell all hand towels in the game slot in place, however sometimes not quite how you would expect as not all towels are centred on their wall fixes, but rather centred on the item overall. Of course its one of those nuggets of info you knew earlier, so all of my content would snap perfectly, but alas for some you will just have to shimmy into place with good old MOO!

Set includes:

Toilet

Sink - Left

Sink - Right

Sink Vanity Table (2 tile)

Sink Vanity Drawer (1 tile)

Bathtub

Shower (Requires Discover University EP)

Landscape Mirror

Portrait Mirror

You can find all the items by searching COASTAL in the BB catalogue search bar

All items are Base Game compatible, except for the shower which requires the Discover University EP to be functional. Unfortunately its an item that can't be made for base game as the required animations are pack dependant.

Now Available on Patreon Early Access

Public Release: 4th August

[agatharkn3ss]

the Tarot reading (spoilers)

We have today's clip from ep.7, where Lilia explains the layout of the Safe Passage tarot spread. In one of the promos, there is also a shot showing cards on the table in that same spread, so I thought I'll put the two together, just for fun!

In the clip it looks like maybe Lilia is doing a reading for Billy as he's sat in front of her? But the cards below seem like they would suit Agatha better (though I'll leave the psychic interpretations to you!). So maybe they all get a reading each?

(The card meanings taken from biddytarot.com)

Card 1: "You, The Traveller": Five of Wands [Reversed]

UPRIGHT: Conflict, disagreements, competition, tension, diversity REVERSED: Inner conflict, conflict avoidance, tension release In the Five of Wands, five men appear to be fighting each other, using their wands as weapons. However, on closer observation, their wands are raised but not striking or injuring anyone. It is as if there is no real purpose or outcome in this chaotic scene other than to create conflict and sow discord amongst the group. Each man wears a different outfit, symbolising their diverse backgrounds and belief systems, and suggesting that, because of their differences, they cannot find harmony and common ground with one another

Card 2: "What's missing, the reason for your quest": Two of Wands

UPRIGHT: Future planning, progress, decisions, discovery REVERSED: Personal goals, inner alignment, fear of unknown, lack of planning The Two of Wands shows a man, dressed in a red robe and hat, holding a small globe. The world is literally in his hands, marking the enormous potential before him if he can expand his horizons accordingly. He stands within the confines of his castle, suggesting that while he is contemplating significant opportunities, the man has not yet left his comfort zone to pursue them; he is still very much in the planning phase. His hand rests on an upright wand, and a second wand is affixed to the castle’s wall, a further sign that he is still not ready to venture out. In the background, the land is fertile while also rocky, promising that he has a good chance for success, so long as he can overcome the challenges that will arise.

Card 3: "The path behind, wounds suffered, lessons learnt": The World

UPRIGHT: Completion, integration, accomplishment, travel REVERSED: Seeking personal closure, short-cuts, delays The World card shows a naked woman wrapped in a purple cloth, dancing inside a large laurel wreath. She looks behind her to the past, while her body moves forward to the future. In her hands are two wands or batons, like the one The Magician holds. It is a symbol that what was manifested with The Magician has now come to completion with The World. The wreath is circular, symbolizing a continual cycle of successful completion and new beginnings because, as the woman steps through the wreath, she is completing one phase but beginning another one almost straight away. Around the wreath are four figures (a lion, bull, cherub and eagle), similar to those in the Wheel of Fortune. Both The World and the Wheel of Fortune speak to the cyclical nature of your life and your progression through its cycles. The four figures represent the four fixed signs of the Zodiac—Leo, Taurus, Aquarius, and Scorpio. They are symbolic of the four elements, the four suits of Tarot, four compass points, four seasons, and the four corners of the Universe. They are here to guide you from one phase to the next, bringing balance and harmony to your journey.

Card 4: "The path ahead, space for growth and discovery": Page of Swords

UPRIGHT: New ideas, curiosity, thirst for knowledge, new ways of communicating REVERSED: Self-expression, all talk and no action, haphazard action, haste The Page of Swords shows a young man standing with his sword pointing upwards to the sky. His body and the sword lean in one direction, but he looks the other way as if to see what else is happening around him. A breeze blows through the young man’s hair, and the clouds behind him appear to dash through the sky, bringing dynamic energy to the card. The ground on which the Page stands is green and fertile, suggesting that the Page’s ideas are likely to bring positive change and forward movement.

Card 5: "Obstacles": Wheel of Fortune (btw this card - and the Tower card - was also shown behind William Kaplan in Lilia's tent at the bar mitzvah)

UPRIGHT: Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point REVERSED: Bad luck, resistance to change, breaking cycles The Wheel of Fortune card shows a giant wheel, with three figures on the outer edges. Four Hebrew letters – YHVH (Yod Heh Vau Heh), the unpronounceable name of God – are inscribed on the wheel’s face. There are also the letters TORA, thought to be a version of the word Torah, meaning ‘law’, or TAROT, or even ROTA (Latin for ‘wheel’). The middle wheel has the alchemical symbols for mercury, sulphur, water and salt – the building blocks of life and the four elements – and represents formative power. On the outer circle is a snake, the Egyptian god Typhon (the god of evil), descending on the left side. The snake also represents the life force plunging into the material world. On the right side rises the Anubis, the Egyptian God of the dead who welcomes souls to the underworld. And on top of the wheel sits the Sphinx, representing knowledge and strength. In the corners of the Wheel of Fortune card are four winged creatures, each associated with the four fixed signs of the Zodiac: the angel is Aquarius, the eagle is Scorpio, the lion is Leo, and the bull is Taurus. Their wings signify stability amidst movement and change, and each holds the Torah, representing wisdom.

Card 6: "A potential Windfall": The Hanged Man

UPRIGHT: Pause, surrender, letting go, new perspectives REVERSED: Delays, resistance, stalling, indecision The Hanged Man shows a man suspended from a T-shaped cross made of living wood. He is hanging upside-down, viewing the world from a completely different perspective, and his facial expression is calm and serene, suggesting that he is in this hanging position by his own choice. He has a halo around his head, symbolizing new insight, awareness and enlightenment. His right foot is bound to the tree, but his left foot remains free, bent at the knee and tucked in behind his right leg. His arms are bent, with hands held behind his back, forming an inverted triangle. The man is wearing red pants representing human passion and the physical body, and a blue vest for knowledge. The Hanged Man is the card of ultimate surrender, of being suspended in time and of martyrdom and sacrifice to the greater good.

Card 7: "The Destination": Ten of Swords

UPRIGHT: Painful endings, deep wounds, betrayal, loss, crisis REVERSED: Recovery, regeneration, resisting an inevitable end The Ten of Swords shows a man lying face down, apparently dead, with ten swords in his back. A red cape drapes over the lower half of his body as a sign of dignity as he leaves this world. While the dark sky is ominous, the sun is rising on the horizon, bringing a renewed sense of hope and opportunity. The calm sea in the background also brings solace, suggesting that even in times of darkness, there is a sense of peace and calm to be found.

[absolutebl]

Love your blog! Do you have any recs for people (me!) who liked: Tale of 1000 Stars, Unknown, Moonlight Chicken, Secret Crush on You, My Beautiful Man, Be My Favorite, Sing My Crush, and We Are (Cute), please? I disliked My Stand In, Love Sea, and Only Friends. I tend to like character driven instead of plot driven stories, and please, no silly misunderstandings or misguided noble morons who break up because a parent suggests it!

Do I detect... a challenge? *rubs hands together* we are playing my favorite game.

Okay, likes:

Tale of 1000 Stars

Unknown

Moonlight Chicken

Secret Crush on You

My Beautiful Man

Be My Favorite

Sing My Crush

We Are

I crossed out the ones that don't fit the trend (outliers) and congratz your wheelhouse is:

moody, atmospheric, angsty, tiny bit cerebral, bit gritty, higher production value, soft focus, lower heat levels but yearning, bit of domesticity, acting chops

Dislikes: My Stand In, Love Sea, Only Friends

Okay not too far into angst, no nasty characters, no dubious tropes or anti-heros, no mame, no high heat, university or older. CHECK! Got it.

Ready?

Right in your damn wheelhouse:

The 8th Sense

(20 points to whoever knew that would be my pull out the gate)

One of the longest BLs Korea has given us (like Blueming) and it feels more atmospheric gay coming of age romance than strictly BL. It’s got a bit of an age gap, country boy/city boy, stellar acting, complex characters, and leads with great chemistry and tension. It’s a bit chewy and sticky and less perfect than most KBLs (do I detect a touch of Taiwan?) This one deployed BL tropes (messy eater, shoulder sleep, protective seme, there’s even some hyung-slinging) but front loaded them with painful backstory and then a ton of angst to drive the 2nd half. This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a BL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled (which is the only reason it didn't get a perfect score) but it does have a glorious ending and that counts for a lot.

I think you'd really love this one.

Trigger warnings - suicide, loss of a family member.

Blueming

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love (for BL), but if you want your mind ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately, we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and beyond plus a satisfying ending and come judicious and very elegant use of tropes. It is, in the end, simply a great BL.

Also Bleuming paved the road for 8th Sense and other gritty KBL to follow.

Love For Love's Sake

Isekai-based KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. I personally found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, but the consistency of tone, script, and immersion is beyond the norm for BL. You will drown in this show and like it that way. The leads have fantastic chemistry and it's ultimately highly rewatchable and utterly charming, which counts for a lot.

Trigger warning - suicide.

Unintentional Love Story

OMG the plot! Uke forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the PAIN in those gorgeous eyes. Gah. Okay, so: A boy loses his job due to trumped-up corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back, if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya).

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

You mentioned My Beautiful Man so if you're feel like that energy, grown up, watch this. It's a style of live action yaoi really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat than we usually get from Japan's HEA stuff, and that part is also very well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. However, that's angst for Japan. And you like angst. Honestly? It's great, but watching requires more patience than usual, even for Japan.

My Ride

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple.

It won't have the production values you're used to but it is a great show.

A Breeze of Love

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty, angsty, and pretty enjoyable." I liked it more than I thought I would, and think about it more too. 

Jazz for Two

This was basically what I wanted from Given and didn’t get. So I’m pleased. A solid enemies to lovers BL, where the sins of brothers' past haunts the present. Great optics, decent chemistry, and a tidy script even if tsundere characterization went a bit extreme in some cases.

Trigger warning - suicide.

Like In The Movies AKA Gaya Sa Pelikula

Karl, a student living alone, runs short of funds and ends up becoming housemates with Vald an out and proud chaos gay. This leads Karl into an identity crisis and journey of self discovery. This kind of forced proximity trope is really common in BL, but what Gaya does is handle it in a messy honestly queer way. It includes Vlad’s attitude in response to Karl’s shaken behavior and the frustration many out queers feel. For that alone it has to be applauded.

DNA Says Love You

DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but PLEASE have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming.

My Tooth Your Love

Earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten by an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues. They fall madly in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus crumbs = 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a unique premise, killer dialogue, there was a solid lead pair with charming chemistry, soft flirtation, delightful smiling kisses, and stinkingly cute domesticity. All that said, I wasn’t wild about some of the darker themes it explored, even though it did a good job with them. And while the sides were adorable, they were underused. In the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! Why so little of it? (Kabedon is My Kryptonite = also the name of my indie band’s first single.)

Trigger warning - parental abuse.

The Eclipse

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just good. We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

Never Let Me Go

Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t). Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs in 2023 this is one of the most successful IMHO. It's typically Thai in that it's a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. The Our Skyy 2 follow up is great too. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than 12.

Some real oddball and sophisticated suggestions

Addicted (original)

When Chinese BL was good it was very dirty good and when it was bad it was censored. This is the model for that statement: rich kid falls madly for the genius poor kid in his class, starts an aggressive pursuit, includes kidnapping for love, obsession, stepbrother trope, plus some cheating. I love this BL because of what I could have been. Just stop watching it after The Sex Scene. Okay?

It might not be right in your wheelhouse but what even fans forget about is how stunning the atmosphere is with this show. I mean we can feel the cold and the grunge. When they living poor it's REAL poor. It's a super immersive show. Unforgettable.

Began Beginning

Childhood best friends must come to terms with their own identities and true feelings for each other when a new boy comes to town, putting them into conflict with their families and ultimately, each other. For the first half of this show there’s a lot of sitting across from each other and talking about life choices over yummy food and then going to tourist spots (mildly boring and not particularly important to the plot). It changed tone about 2/3 in to be way more of a coming out family drama about forced marriages and homophobia. And then at the very end it changed again, becoming a full on soap opera with kidnapping, crazy characterization shifts, and rescue missions. All in all? It was a wild raw creature to consume as a binge. No kisses since this is Myanmar, but a very romantic end, so I think maybe actually worth your time? I'm certainly glad I watched it.

Stay Still

What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece, interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan.

On the lighter end but probably still in your wheelhouse

I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

To My Star

Hwang Da Seul directs this show about a neurotic actor (actual puppy) who takes refuge with a grumpy chef resulting in sparks, cooking lessons, and LOVE! It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. I adore this show so much. Limited use of BL tropes makes this feel more of a sweet contemporary gay romance between an actor plagued by scandal and the grumpy chef who adopts him, but the gentleness will appeal to fans of the BL genre.

Old Fashion Cupcake

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s a stunningly filmed late-in-life comg of age/queerness story packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity, love, and loneliness... and it’s beautiful.

Cherry Magic (Thai remake) - this is my We Are & SCOY match pull

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth that really worked for me. With no-fuss execution from a consummate team (at GMMTV) and an OG lead pair (proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up). Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right - not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it stand strong. I, personally, like the Thai BL slightly better than the Japanese live action yaoi, but I think that’s because I just really enjoy Thai BL's style and I LOVE TayNew. Also all the kissing was both present and better in this version. As it should be from Thailand.

Make a Wish

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and made of swagger. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It has sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

I thought about it but I'm not sure

still you can put these on your "maybe" list

Until We Meet Again

I Feel You Linger in the Air

La Pluie

Restart After Come Back Home

His the movie

Life: Love on the Line

Perfect Propose

Tokyo in April is

Love is Better the Second Time Around

Ocean Likes Me

My Only 12%

After Sundown

I Told Sunset About You

These might be a bit too cerebral, dark, and/or plot-heavy for you. But are worth it if you feel in the mood for something very chewy.

Currently airing

It's set in high school but it scratches the Unknown itch:

The On1y One

Sirs not appearing on this list but if you follow my blog and ask me for tips it's kind of required watching:

Seven Days.

Because everyone should watch it no matter what your taste. So there.

(source)

[laughable-umbrella]

here’s a detailed description of each of the 14 fears from the magnus archives, most of the descriptions are straight from gerry keay (my beloved) in episode 111 (so ofc spoilers for up to ep 111 of tma) ALSO ALSO ALSO the last one has spoilers for up to ep 134

the eye

the ceaseless watcher, fear of being watched, being followed, deepest secrets exposed, needing to know even if the discovery might destroy you, feeling that something somewhere is letting you suffer just so it can watch

the vast

agoraphobia, fear of falling, fear of deep water, of our own insignificance before the vast universe

the lonely

isolation, the fear that you’re just alone, maybe there’s no one else there at all and maybe you just can’t connect

the desolation

burning, the lightless flame, fear of pain and loss, fear of unthinking and cruel destruction

the corruption

disease, infection, disgust, rot, decay, infection, the feeling of your skin crawling or itching, being touched by something that might burrow in you, swarming and hollowing you out, leaving you full of holes

the flesh

this fear is mainly from animals, animalistic fear of the slaughter house, gets weird in humans, gore, the nagging feeling that deep down we’re all just electrified meat squeezing air at each other, body horror, new fear, began when labeled by smirk

the stranger

the fear of the unknown, the uncanny, the creeping sense that something isn’t right, the guy you saw that might be following you and might mean you harm

the dark

old and deep fear, what might be in the dark that you can’t see

the buried

opposite of the vast, small spaces, claustrophobia, crushing, can’t breath, you’re at the center of everything and it all pushes down on you, where the vast is loosing yourself in too much space, the buried is being trapped with out enough

the spiral

fear of madness, worry that your world isn’t right, that your mind is lying to you

the slaughter

war, not cruel like the desolation, or unstoppable like the end, just pure violence, not targeted or premeditated, you don’t know when or why, sometimes frenzied, sometimes calm, just violence for the sake of violence

the end

clean cut and simply fear of death, never tried to set itself up for a ritual because it would because that would mean a world with no people and no death, it’s knows it’s going to get everything eventually so why bother

the hunt

animalistic/ derived from animals like the flesh but it’s older, jon brought up that hunting and killing each other is just the way they work and it’s natural, but gerry reminded him that so is death

the web

spiders, control, your will not being your own, manipulation, being puppeted, the worry you’re caught in a trap you can’t see, never had followers set them up for a ritual

SPOILERS UP TO MAG 134 —>

the extinction: the terrible change, the future with out us, different from the end because it’s active, it’s seeks to create a lightless world that none of the other powers ever would, some think it would replace people with something new that can then fear annihilation in turn

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ep 2. what a shame | myj, jjk

sugar, spice, and everything nice ep 2. what a shame.

pairing(s): yoonji x reader x jungkook

summary: A previous meeting in the park has somehow led to "Operation Make Jeon Jungkook's Kinda-Sorts Girlfriend Admit She Like-Likes Him" and Min Yoonji is the lead operative. A criminal undercover, if you will. It goes... poorly.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; reader is revealed to be pansexual; Yoonji outs herself to JK; internalized homophobia; denial is a river in Egypt that Yoonji is drowning in; alcohol consumption; f/f/m love triangle? slow burn; there will be smut in the future; non-idol!AU - Yoonji's POV

--

Funnily enough, it was actually Jeon Jungkook who brought up his maybe-kinda-sorta girlfriend.

“Hey, Yoonji-noona! You wanna go eat lamb skewers with me?”

“Uh, I guess. It’s been a while.”

“Ah, yeah, since university for me… you used to invite me a lot back then.”

Oh.

“But don’t worry, I’ll treat you this time, noona! Come on!”

Which was how Min Yoonji found herself silently munching on grilled lamb skewers as Jungkook wolfed them down like he hadn’t seen food in three days. Apparently, he had just come from a workout, which was why he was in a loose black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His black track was jacket thrown over his duffel bag. His hair was half-tied back, still messy, almost sweaty.

“Slow down. The lamb isn’t gonna walk away,” she scoffed.

Jungkook froze. Mumbled a sorry, and ate one bite at a time instead of three. Now there was an awkward silence. A soju bottle on their table was half-gone, but Yoonji wasn’t really feeling the effects yet. Didn’t even feel hot yet in her acid wash charcoal hoodie. She was wearing slate blue jeans again, the baggy kind with paint stains. She glanced at Jungkook. He wasn’t looking at her. His plate was nearly empty. There were still four more on Yoonji’s plate.

She took one from hers and placed it on Jungkook’s plate.

Those big brown eyes went wide and he gave a confused look. “Hm?” Cheeks too full to give a good response. It was hilarious with the two lip rings.

“You look hungry.”

He struggled to take a huge gulp before gasping for air and shaking his head. “But what about you? Aren’t you hungry?”

“Clearly not as starved as you. Eat up.”

She poured herself more soju and sipped delicately. Jungkook continued eating, going back to not really looking at her. He was the kind of guy that needed space to say what he needed to say. Yoonji was the kind of girl that didn’t push for answers. She used a piece of lettuce to rip off a section of lamb and put it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Maybe he just wanted to eat out with someone.

“Hey, Yoonji-noona?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think I’m undatable?”

Huh? Chew, chew, swallow. “Aren’t you currently dating someone?”

Jungkook’s eyes shifted. Uncomfortable. “Uh … Kinda.”

She frowned. “You can’t kinda date someone. You either are or you aren’t.”

He lifted his head and peered at her under furrowed brows.

“Well, would you date me?”

Yoonji stared at him. Her past discoveries and memories flashed back in her mind’s eye. Music that makes you fall in love. Photos of his smile. His muscular body. His head on her shoulder. Yeah, I’ll totally eat lamb skewers with you! Let’s go! It’s great with it is noona’s treat! His arms around another woman, saying nice things and being clingy. Making a fuss about winning a claw machine plush that could easily be purchased with basically the same amount of money.

She replied hollowly.

“We’ve been friends for a really long time. If we were gonna date, it would have happened already.”

Jungkook half-smiled.

“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckled softly.

What?

But before Yoonji could ask, the fuck you mean, you figured, the young man tapped the empty wooden skewer on his plate and looked incredibly depressed.

“I think she’s mad at me. I must have done something,” he mumbled.

Yoonji blurted out the woman’s name so fast that it was nearly embarrassing. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice, sighing in confirmation and dropping the skewer to pick up his cup of soju. He gave the impression of like a kicked puppy. Big peepers included.

“What could you have done?”

His lips twisted and he shrugged, drowning his cup. “I don’t know. I thought you could help me with that.”

“Did you ask?”

He gawked at her like she had three heads.

She resisted the urge to bop him on the head and opened the other bottle of soju on their table, pouring him some more. “Okay, if you didn’t ask, then it means you either don’t have the balls to communicate or you already know what it is and don’t want to face the answer. If it is the former, then I’m sorry but you’re undatable. No one wants to date someone who doesn’t have the courage to speak up. It’s incredibly frustrating,” she huffed, nibbling away at more lamb.

He remained silent.

Yoonji made it through a whole skewer.

“So you know what it is, huh?” she finally said.

Those big peepers shifted from side to side again. A few strands of his black hair hung down as he chewed down on another skewer.

“Mmm… Kinda?”

This idiot. But, again, before Yoonji could get out her snappish remark, Jungkook suddenly followed up.

“What do you know about pansexuality, noona?”

She froze.

“W… What?”

“Pansexuality,” he repeated, looking spaced-out and pensive. “Although, she said she didn’t really like the term. She described it as sexual and romantic attraction not being affected by gender, as gender is a mental construct of an individual and could change throughout their lifetime.” His expression looked strained, as if he was being asked to calculate the magnetic flux of two intersecting wires. In short, attempting to comprehend a concept he had no clue about. It was going poorly. “To be honest, I didn’t really get it but I Googled it and it said something about how she could be sexually attracted to any gender and I…”

He sighed.

“I mean, I don’t wanna feel this way but it made me feel… less?”

Oh.

This was awkward.

Jungkook kept babbling even though Yoonji was too stunned to speak. “I was gonna ask Namjoon-hyung, but, I dunno… I’m kinda afraid he’ll scold me. Or probably recommend me books to read. I think I would end up more confused than anything. Hoseokie-hyung isn’t around, and I don’t really feel like asking any of the other hyungs. I don’t know if you’ll really get it either. But maybe you’ve met someone like that, noona.”

She was silent for a moment.

“Why would you say all this now?”

The living embodiment of a human Energizer bunny looked defeated. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I probably shouldn’t have said anything anyway. I just feel too safe around you. But I shouldn’t go on talking about personal stuff. I guess you wouldn’t understand, huh?”

Yoonji grabbed his forearm and squeezed it.

He looked startled, sitting up abruptly, looking down at her white-knuckled hand then up at her face with wide eyes and parted lips.

“Why wouldn’t I understand?”

Jungkook blinked at her. “Uh… well, you only like guys.”

She scowled. “Who told you that?”

“Um… er… uh, no one, actually, I assumed–”

She slapped his arm and glared. “Exactly.”

There was a moment of mute shock.

From both sides, really. The gravity of what she said suddenly sunk in, and Yoonji looked away, feeling her cheeks heat. She had never said it to anyone but to her closest friend Jung Hoseok, after all, and she certainly never planned to tell Jungkook. Indirectly, but still. He was a relentless teaser when he had ammunition, and Yoonji was not interested in being subjected to jokes about her sexual preferences.

“I’m sor–”

“You have a problem with pansexual people?” She suddenly snapped, years of underlying resentment slowly rearing its ugly head.

“No. I just know that I’ll never be enough.”

He sounded so sad that she suddenly forgot all about her own internalized digressions. They didn’t involve him anyway. She turned back and Jungkook was the one looking down, his shoulders drooping.

“I… We still see each other, but I can’t help it. Every time we have sex, I feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m not enough,” he rambled on and Yoonji felt a strange shudder having the confirmation they were actually fucking even though it was blaringly obvious. “Then I get performance anxiety,” he winced, muttering it below his breath although she heard him perfectly clearly. “I can see she regrets telling me. She’s never brought it up again either. I know it’s me. I know it’s my fault. I mean, it was my fault to begin with because her having more experience than me already intimidated me and I said that we should just be casual–”

“Are you a fucking idiot?”

Somehow, he had slouched down so low in his seat that he seemed smaller than her. Puppy eyes struck her in the heart even though Yoonji knew they should be directed at someone else.

“Why the fuck did you tell her you want to be casual? You never want a causal relationship,” she continued scolding. “And why the fuck do you say you feel less? It’s so obvious that she clearly likes your dumb ass! Are there any brain cells up there? If I were you, I would do anything to be with her all the fucking time!”

Silence.

Jungkook stared with wide eyes and a mildly frightened expression.

Yoonji breathed out hard, greatly annoyed.

“Do you…”

She glared at his hesitation.

“Do you really think she likes me?”

This guy is unbelievable.

“Have you talked to her about me?” Jungkook pointed out. “Would you consider her a friend?”

Uh. “Well… no. I don’t know her at all, actually.”

He seemed disappointed. “Oh.”

Yoonji scoffed. “It is not going to be hard to get her to admit that she likes you.”

-

“What are you thinking of wearing?”

“A… dress. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to wear?”

A light shrug. “You can wear anything. The important thing is to be comfortable and believe that your outfit expresses how you want to feel.”

Min Yoonji was standing on an escalator with Jeon Jungkook’s maybe-kinda-sorta girlfriend, wondering how she willingly got herself in this situation of standing next to a woman with more presence than a blue whale. After the dinner, Jungkook had apologized and even expressed gratitude for Yoonji feeling safe enough to come out, which she promptly dismissed. It was weird to make it a big deal and ten times weirder that it was him that now knew because it now made her and Jungkook closer. Not something she had been going for.

She hadn’t been going for… this either.

Currently, Yoonji was standing on a mall escalator, wearing sneakers and loose slate jeans once again, but this time with a black-and-white bomber jacket over a long sleeve white shirt. She had tied up her hair in a ponytail and left some front pieces hanging out.

The other woman had her hair up too.

Twisted into a black claw clip. Maroon faux fur jacket with a black velvet dress under it. The dress flared out around the waist and the irregular hem draped along her bare legs when she walked. Black heeled boots with buckles along that side that were shaped like bats. Yoonji spied a black sling bag under the jacket, tucked just under the woman’s chest.

That elegant hand held her cell phone and tapped away at it, looking thoughtful.

There were no additional accessories on her phone except for a plain black bordered phone case with a pop socket on it. A cutesy tuxedo cat head with green eyes. All the nails of her dominant hand were cut shorter now, although all in a gentle almond shape. Painted a shimmery chocolate brown. Her other hand still had the long nails and now Yoonji suspected they must be natural. They weren’t as decorated as the manicures in the salons. She had looked up prices in her spare time. Only for fun, of course. And, holy fuck.

Women spent a lot on nice nails.

Yoonji wondered why she had promised Jungkook to help him figure this out.

“Where do you wanna go first?” her calm, smooth voice asked.

Yoonji stiffened, stepping off the escalator. “Uh, I don’t know.”

A curious look. “You don’t like shopping?”

She paused. Actually… “I do. But usually I accompany my friend Jung Hoseok and pick up stuff when he visits his favorite stores. He’s at military service right now, though.”

“Ah, hmm.”

They stopped walking, standing in the middle of the mall. The woman remained on her phone, doing something silently. People walked past them, ignoring their existence. The silence was getting just a touch past socially acceptable and Yoonji found herself needing to fill the void.

“Thank you, by the way.”

Those dark eyes drifted back and now she found herself trapped in a now-familiar scorched gaze. Something about it. It wasn’t the color of her irises but the intensity of focus. Yoonji noticed she didn’t often look directly at people but it was hard to look away once she noticed the other woman wasn’t wearing makeup, or at least any she could tell. Just glossy lip balm. It became all the more noticeable that the strength behind those eyes wasn’t the smoke-and-mirrors of a done-up face.

“I… Hm, I actually don’t get to wear more feminine clothes that often,” Yoonji confessed, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. For… reasons. “I repair guitars at a music shop for a living. In the beginning, when the customers came in, they didn’t really take me seriously when I dressed more… girly. I guess it just became more of a habit to dress the way I do. It’s casual and comfy, though, so I like ended up liking it. But when it comes to feminine styles, I don’t really know anything. Makes me a shitty girl, huh?”

The gaze broke and the woman turned her head to the sea of passing faces.

Yoonji let out the breath she hadn’t known she had been holding onto.

“There’s no such thing. Eh, in general, people don’t really know anything,” Jungkook’s friend-with-benefits chuckled. “You are a perfectly valid, good girl. Look around you. People wear whatever they want. Just because something is trendy doesn’t mean it suits everyone or makes them feel comfortable in themselves. Even if it looks good on them, they can feel discomfort in feeling disconnected with their inner selves.”

That playful smile came back.

“Do you really need my help? I think you should come as you are to the date. You look cool.”

She felt her cheeks burn.

Then.

Oh, right.

The premise of this excursion. A date Yoonji was supposedly going to go on that she didn’t know how to dress for and enlisting the help of a female acquaintance. Normal circumstances. Yeah. Totally. And she was of course going out with a guy. Duh. She deliberately skirted around the details of said guy though, since, uh, said guy didn’t exist.

“I think I would be a bit out of a place at a fancy restaurant.” She named the nicest restaurant she could remember. A place her parents went to for one of their wedding anniversaries.

“Oh, is that where it’s at? A bit much for a first date.”

Yoonji mustered up the best shrug she could.

“Don’t you have to make reservations?”

“He’s the one who invited, so I guess he did.”

“Hmmmm.”

It was a very bemused, hmmmm, and Yoonji thought the jig was up.

“Here, take a look. I’ve been saving some inspiration. Tell me what speaks to you.”

And then the woman handed Yoonji her phone. She took it awkwardly, a beat too slow, but her fingers caught the cat-head-shaped pop socket and gripped tightly, glancing at the screen. It was dark despite the bright lights. Then, without warning, a perfumed presence slid beside her and reached over to swipe at the top of the screen, swiftly changing the brightness. One breath was all it took. Warm and spiced and resonating of bitter coffee. Not the type that indicated a constant drinker, but the aftereffects of a unique fragrance. Yoonji felt her entire body hastily meander between calming down and freaking the fuck out.

She loved the scent of coffee. Maybe even had a mild addiction.

But the other female was too close, too close, so close Yoonji could feel the softness of the faux fur press into her upper arm and feel a head hovering over her shoulder.

“You can wear pants even to fancy places,” the calm voice was saying, slowly moving through the downloaded photos of model-worthy women dressed elegantly and maturely. “You don’t have to wear black either. Brown or even a jewel-toned color could be nice. If you pair slacks with a softer texture, like a cashmere sweater or a chiffon top, it won’t feel so stuffy.”

The terms didn’t exactly go over Yoonji’s head but, then again, her head wasn’t working. “Shouldn’t I wear a dress?” she mumbled thickly, trying to get her tongue to work.

“Theres no should or should not in fashion.” Soft chiding. “I thought you liked pants?”

“I have nice legs,” Yoonji unexpectedly found herself blurting.

The world stopped.

Well, only in her head. It wasn’t untrue, at least Yoonji didn’t think so, deep down. Would it seem like unnecessary boasting, though? Or could she been seen as rude, attempting to get a rise out of someone her friend was supposedly casually dating? Was saying that crossing a line somehow?

“Oh, you’re cool with showing them off?”

Her cheeks felt warm. “I… I mean, a guy would like that, right?”

“Sure. A girl would like that too.”

Yoonji froze.

The shimmery chocolate-colored fingernail breezed past a few more photos. To ones of models in various skirts and dresses. “Then, what about these? Color? No color? Something tighter or looser?”

“I…” There were quite a few nice outfits but Yoonji’s head was still spinning. Get a grip! “Not too tight. I’m not that into color but I’ll try it. More minimal and classic. Stuff I can wear again.”

“Ah, like this?”

There was a photo of a woman in a library, or at least a set that seemed like a library. She was wearing a cream turtleneck with a few thin gold bracelets and a tweed brown-plaid maxi skirt with a simple thin black belt. The lighting was warm and low, giving the photo a dreamy vibe.

Still, Yoonji frowned.

Does she think I’m this kind of girl?

“No, something a bit more… fun.”

Before either of them could say anything more, a notification popped down from the top. It simply read, Jungkook, followed by notice of an image attachment. Then, just as rapidly, the notification was replaced by another. A message this time.

Can’t you see how bad I want you?

Between the immediate goosebumps that quickly swept over Yoonji’s back and arms, and the sudden, tch, next to her, she didn’t move a centimeter as the phone was taken from her. Surely… Surely Jungkook knew they were going out today. But, then again, how could he predict his lady friend handing Yoonji her phone to browse fashion styles? But texting those kinds of things in broad daylight? What was in the photo?

Wait.

Why did Yoonji want to know?

“Sorry about that. I think I have a good idea of what you’re after now. Let’s go.”

Fingertips flicked her wrist to get her attention. Yoonji scrambled after the faux fur, startled and embarrassed and curious and confused and in general wondering how someone would respond to that. How someone could respond to that. But she was, typing away, and Yoonji resisted the urge to look. The reply was short though, as the phone was shoved back into the sling bag by the woman’s chest. She looked back to glance at her.

Narrowed dark eyes and enigmatic smile.

“You alright?”

Her heart was beating so fast that it was hard to speak.

“Y… Yeah,” Yoonji heard herself say even though she was definitely not alright.

-

Let your hair down.

She reached up and pulled the scrunchie out of her black hair, letting it fall by her shoulders. She had never been afraid of whether or not she had femininity. Her mother liked fashion, so even when she was young, Yoonji had been put in fashionable clothes. Dresses. Skirts. Blouses. As she got older, with the influence of her interests, it became quite clear that it was easier to dress more practically. Her mother complained, but her brother always defended her, pushing her to pursue her passion of music.

Yoonji, too, didn’t see what was wrong with dressing more boyishly.

She never liked the idea that men had to be a certain way and women had to be a certain way. Proper and refined. It wasn’t that she always wore baggy clothes, but they were the most convenient to throw on and see friends. There was no point in owning extravagant clothing anyway, since the music shop she worked at was casual and she had to move around a lot.

It simply made sense.

So, now, Yoonji stood in front of a mirror in a dressing room clad a white sweater and a dark brown miniskirt with her hair down, and wondered if she was pretty.

She didn’t doubt how conventionally nice she looked in the mirror. She had pale, creamy, fair skin that everyone envied or at least they said they did. Dark brown eyes that perhaps weren’t big enough to be innocent, but rather striking against her complexion. When she was a child, Yoonji used to have a blunt bob with straight cut bangs. They had grown out to wispy curtain bangs when she was at university and she kept them that way ever since. Her black hair slightly longer than shoulder length, thick and slightly wavy, mostly from keeping it tied up. She wasn’t tall but not short either. A narrow frame she couldn’t help. During high school she filled in a little in the chest, but good genetics had compensated by long legs and shapely hips. By that time female classmates had begun to avoid her and whisper behind their hands, resentful and irritated, while male classmates tried their best to strike up conversation. It was around this time that Yoonji had begun to resent her female schoolmates and their underhanded comments. At least boys were honest. Stupid, but honest.

Meh, typical high school drama.

Even now, Yoonji often found herself not really wanting to make friends with other women. It had always felt like a constant competition. They would either look down at her for wearing loose-fitting clothing or become two-faced when she dressed up. Because Yoonji always preferred to be comfortable, she had stayed with the same group of male friends for a long time, which was also something apparently not a lot of girls liked. They called her easy, slut, all those nice things. So, yeah, eventually Yoonji had no female friends anymore.

Guys she dated didn’t like it either. Thankfully, she could just dump them.

As if she was going to lose her friend group over some dumb boyfriend.

She frowned at her reflection in the mirror and took off the skirt, feeling strange with it on. It seemed like something the grown-up versions of those jealous high school girls would wear. Her panties were plain black, seamless. She didn’t like the colorful ones. There was a black skirt, a long one with a bow at the waist and a wrap detail. This was nice, but she couldn’t get the bow to lay down well. Perhaps she needed a different top. There was a forest green one with a rounded collar that tucked better into the bow skirt. This was also nice but something still felt not quite her style.

Not that Yoonji knew what her femme style even was.

These were all pieces picked out by Jungkook’s maybe girlfriend.

“Let your hair down.”

“What?”

A raised eyebrow. “In order for an outfit to look good, you have to style it the way you would wear it. You can’t get the whole picture and it becomes much harder to make a decision. So, let your hair down.”

There was another one, a black-on-black pinstripe blazer dress with two intricate silver buttons holding it closed. Very cool and feminine with an edge. Yoonji found she liked this one a lot however it made more sense for a corporate meeting than an imaginary date. She was a little sad to take it off.

Let your hair down.

She wore a simple bra too. Nothing crazy. Just one of those without a wire and no lace. Too itchy for her sensitive skin. There was a sheer aqua mint top next and a strappy black dress paired with it, successfully hiding the bra lines while leaving the billowy sleeves with the single ruffle at the cuff visible. The muted color looked nice against her skin. Her dark hair laid nicely against the gauzy aqua fabric. Carefree and a little messy. The dress had a few pleats, giving it a fuller skirt that made it easy to move.

The flash of a memory.

A manicured hand gripping hers.

It doesn’t mean anything.

But it could.

Yoonji closed her eyes.

Coffee. She smelled like coffee in a sweet, luxurious way, as if Yoonji had just bitten into a fruit and nut scone in a coffee shop. But there was that rock-and-roll dangerous vibe too. Industrial. Raw. And then there was those piercing eyes that seemed scorched. She had endured but with emerged with scars. Intense. She clearly presented feminine but there was something just not about her. They had been so close. So close. If Yoonji had turned her head, just so, then that heady coffee perfume would be right by her nose and those eyes would shift and stare back, inviting her to the darkness.

Their lips would brush against each other.

She would whisper her name.

Low and in wonder.

“Yoonji?”

There was a knock on the dressing room door.

Startled, she hastily stepped back from the door. Nearly collided into the rack of clothes and the damn mirror. Thankfully, she didn’t, although her hands planted into the wall and ricocheted her off, making her stumble slightly in her socks, almost tripping over her sneakers.

“This has nothing to do with your date, but I saw this striped sweater and I thought you might like it. Wanna try it?” the calm voice behind the door asked.

Yoonji gawked at the door.

Then she tiptoed over and opened it slightly, seeing the dark red fur coat, black velvet dress, and bat boots holding out a dark grey and black sweater. Thick horizontal stripes, oversized, drop shoulders, and cropped. Then her face appeared as the offered sweater lowered. Observant gaze with those scorched eyes and glossy full lips that were oh-so-kissable.

A half-smile.

“Anything work out?”

Her body was half-hid by the door. The other woman didn’t try to crane her head over to see more. She just stood there, holding out the sweater, half-smiling, on the line between teasing and curious. Yoonji glanced from the sweater to that half-smile.

“That looks like something you would wear.”

The half-smile became a full smirk.

“Maybe you like my style.”

Yoonji didn’t say anything. She reached out, but the sweater was pulled back a little. She frowned, faltering, and then the sweater was hooked onto her outstretched arm, the woman’s hand lightly resting on Yoonji’s wrist.

“Do you want to try something else? A different size, maybe?”

I did not just think about kissing her.

“I… I’m almost done. Just need to change back.”

“Mmmm, okay. I’ll be waiting.”

-

They were standing beside each other, waiting for their drink order. A paper bag sat in a chair by the table they were standing next to, unofficially officially claiming it.

They were currently in an awkward silence after Yoonji had picked a fight earlier.

“Wanna get something to drink?”

A distracted look. “Sure. I’ll treat you.” A head tick at the paper bag in Yoonji’s hand. “You’ve spent enough.”

She saw the phone with the tuxedo cat pop socket being tucked away in the sling bag once again.

“No, I’ll pay.”

“It’s just a drink.”

Yoonji waited until the other woman looked back in mild confusion.

“I wouldn’t want to owe you.”

A pause.

Then a half-smile.

“Ah. Okay, then. Lead the way.”

Yoonji went to the counter to receive the drinks. An iced Americano for herself and a Thai tea boba for her shopping partner. They sat down, busying themselves with their habits. Punching the straw in. Mixing up the physical ice even through the barista had already done a good job of that.

The calm voice broke the metaphorical ice first.

“What did you end up getting?”

The woman had come back to the dressing room as Yoonji was buttoning her jeans and told her she would be waiting outside the store since she received a call. She had simply answered back, sure, and known exactly who was on the phone. Somehow. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Even as she emerged from the doors, she could see the body language of the other female. Predatory. She was speaking low, and softly, before noticing Yoonji and cutting the call short.

For a moment, she thought about not answering the question but instead she sipped her iced Americano and answered. “The aqua shirt and black dress. And the sweater you brought in last minute.”

“Ah, cool. I thought you would go for the blazer dress.”

Yoonji stilled. “I wasn’t sure what outerwear to wear with it. My only nice coat is a long black wool coat my mom got me last winter.”

“Understandable.”

The silence was less awkward now. Still not great, no thanks to herself. Yoonji chewed her lip. A bad habit. She wondered what the phone call was about. It was too invasive to ask though. Add that to the text she had seen earlier and… surely that was crossing a line. Is he down bad for her that much? She tried not to think about it. How couldn’t he be? Caught a glimpse of how that stylish hand was placed possessively over her Thai tea boba. For a split second, Yoonji imagined those shimmering chocolate fingernails digging into a neck with a defined jaw, right under an ear with three piercings.

She suddenly became acutely aware that she was being stared at.

Yoonji looked up.

Scorched eyes across the table.

“How long have you known Jungkook?”

She straightened, clutching her iced Americano for chilling moral support “Uh…” Thought about it. “Over a decade, I guess. He joined the group through Taehyung and Jimin. But we didn’t really talk one-on-one until a couple years ago, when he stopped by the store I work at and asked to see some guitars. Wanted to get one tattooed, I think. That was what he said anyway.” She shrugged. “I dunno if he did, though.”

“I think I’ve seen a guitar tattoo on his sleeve.” A slow sip. Chew, chew. “I haven’t really inspected him thoroughly, though.”

“Haven’t you?” Yoonji heard herself say before she could stop herself.

Pause.

Chew, chew.

“You really don’t like me, huh?”

She tried to backtrack. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be cold. It’s just how I am.”

“Is that so?”

Yoonji found she couldn’t look forward anymore. This mission was so far a fail. She tried to salvage it somehow. “I mean, don’t you dislike me? Your boyfriend having a female friend and all that.”

A soft chuckle. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

What? “… What?”

“He says he’s not sure he wants to be in a committed relationship yet.”

What the fuck? Yoonji furrowed her brows and shook her drink roughly, trying to make sense of it all. “You’re kidding me. Jungkook? That airhead had the audacity to say that?”

“That’s what he told me. Feel free to ask him yourself.”

This wasn’t making any sense. Then, it clicked. It won’t matter even if I get her to say that she likes him. His need for constant validation is killing this before it even began. Whether or not Yoonji thought Jungkook’s insecurities were rational didn’t matter. He hooked up but never got too serious because it didn’t feel right yet. There was always something. I just know that I’ll never be enough. What a dumb thing to say. And, of course, if he voiced that the supposed cause was his partner’s sexuality, something she couldn’t help, then, yeah, of course.

They would be stuck in limbo like this.

“For the record, I’m glad he’s friends with you.”

Yoonji lifted her head, seeing an enigmatic smile.

“I quite like you.”

This was a complete mission fail.

“After all, you asked me on a date. It’s pretty rare for a girl to ask me on a date.”

Heat flared over Yoonji’s cheekbones. “I… I didn’t…”

A head tick, causing her hair to fall against her cheek. “Not once have you gushed about this supposed first date you’re going on. You don’t seem excited or nervous about it at all. Pretty unusual if you like this guy. But maybe you don’t know him that well and met him through an app. Then there would be some level of fear, I hope, unless you have nerves of steel and a black belt in taekwondo I don’t know about. There’s no apprehension though.” Yoonji felt her grip on the cold drink get colder and colder as her lies were broken through. “But let’s say you are going on this date and all you wanted was a second opinion. You never once asked me to view any of the outfits I picked out for you. Maybe you only wanted a free stylist, then. If this was purely transactional, then, why ask me to spend more time, sitting down and getting drinks at a café?”

Abort, abort.

But Yoonji was more frozen than the melting ice in her coffee.

“And you always get cold and distant when I mention I’m fucking Jungkook.”

That shadowed gaze.

Those predator eyes.

That fucking smile.

“But you don’t like him like that, right?”

She willed her mouth to say something but her brain had run out of ideas.

“I…”

Then Jungkook’s not-girlfriend said something that completely obliterated any capacity to form a sentence.

“What a shame.���

-

Min Yoonji was alone in her apartment, drinking a beer.

Getting drunk.

She was way past the days of being shit-face plastered out in bars and throwing herself in taxis to arrive home alone so she could throw up in the privacy of her own bathroom. Running from her issues by making her mind numb to the world. Yoonji had been – still was – good at it. She had a high tolerance. Some would call it lucky. Some would call her an undignified woman. She hadn’t cared either way. She had been young but self-aware enough to know exactly what she was doing and did it anyway. When she had her revelations, it had been easy to quit cold turkey because Yoonji had known damn well it was all in her head and all she had to do was fucking do it.

Also, she was getting a bit too old for dumb youth to be an excuse anymore.

Hmph.

Some of her past bad habits she completely avoided, however, alcohol was a central part of Korean socializing, so Yoonji had chosen to repair her relationship with it. Thus, she could now drink freely knowing her limits. But she rarely drank alone, and rarely that much when she did. A beer here. A glass of wine there. Some whiskey on lonely nights, vibing to the silent melody of the moon at four in the morning.

Yoonji sat at her small dining table and wondered if she should crack open another beer or held straight for the whiskey.

It was seven in the evening on a Friday.

Got home from work to start off the weekend and now she could not avoid it any longer. Her thoughts swam wildly in her head. She had been trying to keep them under wraps during the work week. Didn’t think about them. Hoped they would go away. They did not. It had been a long, long time since Yoonji had been read to filth like that. Certainly never with such precision and on purpose. Sure, sometimes arguments with previous flings would accidentally hit the nail right on the head – using them only for the physical aspect to avoid emotional connection, for example – but it had always been in anger and high tension, so Yoonji had always been able to play it off.

She couldn’t play off being caught in such a blatant lie by Jeon Jungkook’s definitely-not-but-definitely-was girlfriend.

There was no comeback. She hadn’t done anything at the café. Couldn’t. Couldn’t act. Couldn’t even say a word, only stared dumbly as the woman smiled, bowed, and excused herself to take care of personal business.

Jungkook, probably.

She willed herself to throw up at the thought.

Instead, Yoonji got up and went to go get the whiskey.

It wasn’t that she had never had relationships. She had, and deep ones at that, but upon reflection she could point out the exact reasons why she had entered – and exited – said relationships. To feel loved during a loveless time. To run away. To get access to guitars and learn about them. She loved, but Yoonji had always known it was the crude, fleeting, conditional love that would never last. Love with a purpose. She was never fully invested enough in them, always hiding her true self because, well, people can only betray you once they know all the deep, dark stuff. Hence why they were all only men. Specifically, the kind of men that wait for emotional depth to come to them rather than seeking it.

The kind of people that didn’t know how to recognize internal scars.

Also why she never told any of them that she was attracted to other people other than, uh, men.

Yoonji poured herself a healthy amount of liquor and went back to sit at her small dining table of four chairs, placing the glass on a cork coaster she bought over ten years ago. She always told herself that she simply didn’t need to tell them. Everything was fine. And yet for some reason it always felt like lying, even though it didn’t really matter.

Except it did.

Case in point, Jeon dumbass Jungkook worrying about not being enough for his hot-ass not-girlfriend, which was simply such ridiculously bone-headed thinking that Yoonji growled and threw back half of her whiskey, scowling at the thought.

It bothered her.

It bothered Yoonji that someone could confidently tell another such a deep secret like sexuality. To someone they were only casually fucking, no less, even though there was nothing fucking casual about the two of them. It bothered her to know that her feeling was right, the idea that someone could be bothered by that information even though it presumably didn’t matter. It bothered her that it was Jungkook, not because he was wrong but because if… maybe if he had already known about Yoonji’s personal tastes, then he might have been able to take it in stride. Maybe if she had been brave enough to say it out loud… And most of all, it bothered Yoonji because to know such a beautiful and clever and intuitive woman of that caliber could be rejected simply due to her sexuality…

Where the fuck does that put me?

Yoonji was not down on herself in terms of looks, but she knew that she lacked that kind of cool assertiveness and razor-sharp introspection. And, okay, maybe she didn’t know all the deep shit about Jungkook’s lady friend, but it was obvious she very comfortably lived life the way she wanted, aggressively so, which was precisely why Jungkook was attracted to her. Of course, he would have a boner in the presence of self-actualization.

If I…

She nursed the rest of the whiskey, sighing.

She thought about that Instagram post. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it meant something. Music that makes you fall in love. Idiot. She chewed the side of her lip. Maybe it was just a compliment to a friend. Yeah. How could it be anything else? It wasn’t some mushy-gushy shit. He hadn’t acted low-key weird at the time. He was too awkward for that. Or maybe it was because Yoonji had been dating that asshole guy at the time and she herself hadn’t noticed how her friends were faring due to being too occupied with that emotional rollercoaster. Fuck. But who cares if it meant anything? Not Yoonji. Yeah, definitely not me. The whiskey burned in the back of her throat. She barely noticed. I can admit it. I dated guys because they’re more physical than women. They don’t fucking scare me with that emotional shit. She found her way back into the kitchen and poured some more. The sting of alcohol. Sure, there are girls who only want to hook up but they’re emotionally intelligent and I don’t need to be known. So what if it was cowardly? It was okay to be cowardly. And it wasn’t only women, Yoonji knew. She knew that she generally avoided dating any and all genders that displayed deep emotional intelligence.

There isn’t much to me. You could figure it out if you listened to my songs.

She remembered Jungkook nagging her to post on Spotify, maybe even try and become an independent artist. But, no, no. Yoonji was stoic. Cool. One of the guys. None of that emotional shit.

I think I like her.

That was so fucking scary. Fuck. Feelings were so fucking scary. Like? Like-like? She reeled at her kitchen counter and it had nothing to do with the whiskey. That would be complicated shit. Not to mention the guilt. No, no. She was cool. She had always been cool. She didn’t outwardly show her emotions much. That was how they could be protected. That was how…

I’m not supposed to feel this.

And it was a difficult yes-and-no. Even if she knew it made no sense, she had still grown up with the idea of boy-meets-girl. Not girl-meets-boy-who-meets-girl-that-becomes girl-on-girl. Oh, shit. She pushed her whiskey glass away, shaking her head even though she was alone. Yes, alone. No nosy Jungkook poking his head over her shoulder and asking what she was up to. No Jungkook grinning extra wide as Yoonji piled meat onto his plate and calling her his favorite noona. No Jungkook taking her hand without hesitation to run to their destination, not worried if someone will say something. Who cares? Who cares? Yoonji scolded herself for thinking about him. I’m only doing that to avoid…

She shuddered, sinking down to the kitchen floor, the thoughts spinning, spinning.

What a shame.

Those manicured hands.

The casual head tilt.

Those scorched eyes.

I can’t think about you like that.

-

ep 3. take your time. sugar, spice, and everything nice

--

min yoonji masterpost | masterpost

[mikuni14]

4 Minutes - Ep 1-2

I haven't had much free time to keep up with all the series lately, I was planning to catch up and influenced by @my-rose-tinted-glasses enthusiasm I decided to watch 4 Minutes first 😘

So, ok. I love it.

First of all, I'm writing this before diving into the 4 Minutes tag, so I have no idea about the most popular theories. I have a few of my own working theories, but I don't feel like writing about them right now hehe. I will write what I like tho!

very good execution, but it's BOC, so no surprises here

aesthetics, actors, everything is 💯💯

I really like the mystery, suspense, crime, ambiguity, confusion, slow discovery of new plots, a certain kind of darkness that already created the delicious vibe in DFF ✨ I also like the pleasure and satisfaction I feel as a viewer, when I see something that I suspect might happen, it happens and the series doesn't force the opposite, doing stupid, illogical or ooc things, just to shock and surprise me (looking at you GoT). For example, I knew that Title wasn't found dead in this field, and when it turned out that he was alive, it didn't take away my pleasure from guessing it in any way. I love it when a show lets viewers guess what's going to happen and respects their intelligence

no matter what universe, Jet plays a complete dick who is in conflict with Mio's character ✨

Mio, Mio, Mio, Mio!! 💖💖💖💖 I gasped when I saw him, I'm literally conditioned to love this guy. He's ruthless and uncompromising again, gosh, my heart 💖💖💖(fair warning: I'm going to be insufferable about him, so be prepared 🤡)

the sex scenes are as bold and high-quality as ever

traditionally for BOC we have a juxtaposition of rich and poor, corruption, tragic choices caused by poverty, exploitation, overworking, fulfilling the expectations of ruthless parents, wealth as well as poverty being the source of crime

Bible plays a poor rich boy, which I really like. I also like his pairing, which wasn't at all predictable and obvious, because I'm probably the only person in the world who can't stand his pairing in KP (please don't hate me)

luckily Bible is a Cat Person and it shows, because he uses a Special Voice to talk to the kitty. The cat is relaxed, which is an exception in BL series 😑 (isn't that his cat? they seemed close 🥺)

of course I must comment on the BL in the BL series. So… yes! It's good! Bible as Great is wonderful but then again I didn't expect anything else from him. Tbh I was worried about what his partner would be like, whom I didn't know. Jes turned out to be sensational, first of all you can see his experience, he's 32 years old (!), as Tyme he's an absolutely captivating mix of an intimidating professional at work and adorable baka when he's just some dude liking a guy 😄 I really liked how the series is serious for the whole 1st episode, most of the 2nd and then suddenly there's a scene of Tyme smoothing out his feathers in a peacock mode, emphasizing his figure and shapely butt to look nice for his crush, it was so funny and cute. Also when he awkwardly tried to flirt with Great, the faces he made when he realized how clumsy he was lmao. I love the kind of men in BL shows who are strong and masculine but who turn into fluffy, awkward teddy bears 🐻 in the presence of their loved ones. When I saw Tyme in ep1 I thought he was going to be a stereotypical seme and I'm so glad the show lets him be a normal person.

It's interesting that Great gets a second chance every time he does something wrong 🤔 And I wonder why he sees a future with Tyme? This kind of future? Hm.

Overall I love 4 Minutes, I'm officially hooked. It's very interesting, intriguing and spicy, there are a lot of plots that are starting to overlap and connect, the series has actors that I like (some I even like a lot! just seeing Mio and hearing Bible speak English accounts for like 74% of my enjoyment lol), it's not afraid of controversial topics, the series doesn't treat viewers like children, the execution is at a very high level, Jes and JJay show infatuation at first sight in a very convincing way, the romances started very interestingly and I've watched the Tyme/Great scenes a few times already.

That means 3 series to obsess over in a week! Lucky me! ✌

(I might edit this post by adding some gifs later)

[estrella-zoe39]

i love dumping random shit onto my tumblr anyway weird discussion of the most random fandoms combined go! mostly discuses love as core themes of stories.

i think my favourite pieces of media are those that just dont make sense if you dont view them as a love story. i came across this discovery as i was watching code geass ep 17 when lulu goes insane when he realises the one thing thats in his way is also the person he trusts completely. there is no other genuine explanation other than love for the reasoning of his reaction in that scene. with shirley he had this mellow yet sorrowful reaction when he realised he couldnt be with her anymore. not saying there wasnt a part of him that didnt love her but with suzaku? he goes berserk. whatever he felt couldnt have happened if he didnt love suzaku.

other good examples of this are frieren, orv, and house. there are more my brain is just kinda fried rn and i think these three are good examples of like. varying levels of how explicit the message is. (theyre all obvious af tho)

ill start with frieren because i think if youve even like. heard about it youll know but himmel and frierens relationship really is the core of like the entire story. a boy who loved too soon and a girl who loved too late. frieren just isnt. frieren when you take that away. frieren at its like core is about love you cant just remove that because then the story wouldnt be the same it probably wouldnt even exist!!! and im sure everyone knows this its just surprising how frieren isnt officially a romance manga considering its entire premise

another example is orv which is a bit harder to know if youve only read the webtoon. orvs story just wouldnt exist if hsy didnt love kdj. if she didnt write yjh and then kdj wouldve died, plain and simple. and if kdj didnt love the story back then he wouldve also died. hsy, yjh, and kdj at their core are their love for each other. hsy spent 12 years writing a book everyday just for kdj to keep on living and in kaizenix she waited 50 years for him. yjh spent the entirety of orv learning how to love from kdj, through fighting alongside him, through protecting him, through seeing him die, even when he learned he wasnt real he still believed him, and in the end yjh was the one who let kdj be known in every universe. his mission was something that he only could brave through if he loved kdj. and he did. speaking of kdj, i think its very obvious to everyone but his self-sacrificial nature is due to him only knowing that as a love language. something else is how without kdjs love, orv also just wouldnt exist. if his love for twsa, for the chars, for STORIES, didnt exist, he wouldnt be alive. if he didnt keep on molding twsa, to be alongside every yjh and co, to suggest new plot points, he wouldve never came to love it.

onto my last example, house. now i think you gotta be a very specific type of person to catch them (its called not being homophobic) but man are house and wilson like. house the show itself. their love defines the show, from the first scene to the last. he only took that first case which started everything because of wilson. half of his stupid antics are because of wilson. his love starts and ends at wilson because he knows wilson will be the one person who will always be there consistently for him. because no matter what happens, like house getting sent to trial by tritter, or house failing to save amber, they will be together, whether they want to or not. so when wilson is diagnosed with cancer, he breaks. the one person who he thought would always be there for him. isnt. in fact, he'll die first. and so, he does everything. he listens to wilsons stupid fucking ideas because he needs wilson to be there for him, he needs wilson at his grave, not him at wilsons. thats why he gives everything to wilson, his vicodin, his attention, and even his life. the only reason he dies is so he can be with wilson. none of this actions can be done without love in them, absolutely none. i think my favourite quote of them is "if house chops down a tree, and wilson isnt around to hear it, did it really fall?" it just sums up their stupid, needy, insane, and romantic dynamic so much.

all of these pieces of media need love in them to be them, so i hope ive loved them more than they could ever want, despite some of their flaws 🩷🩷🩷

[theanxiousghostartist]

TMAGP 22 Spoilers (theories and reactions)

Pre Case (Lena & Gwen):

Gwen got away! Yippee!

It's really interesting that she called [Error] the "watching figure." Definitely solidifies the Eye energy (literally lol) coming for them.

Also, Lena calls both Ink5oul and [Error] "externals," I wonder if this is what avatars are being called in this universe. Perhaps because they don't know what they are?

I love Lena's reaction! Honestly, I'm wondering about how much dangerous work she was put through by the OIAR.

So Gwen's keeping the title but not the work? I wonder if Lena will slowly provide her information Elias-style and she how she reacts...

Also, a ministerial visit is coming up. I wonder if the people visiting are more involved with the Externals.

Gwen doesn't really argue with Lena about the job. I wonder if Lena is trying to scare her away from further investigating. For now, at least, it seems to have worked.

Mrs. Kelley??? Lena is/was married???

Case:

The case is a letter from Hans Berger to Dr. Richard Caton from December 1924, with Augustus narrating. Both Berger and Dr. Caton have conducted/are conducting experiments to study the brain, more specifically - they are taking data of brain signals. Herr Schmidt is the subject of Berger's experiments, which involves adding metal coils under the scalp and recording the signals with various devices. Berger would ask questions about the self, and when Schmidt would answer, Berger and his wife/assistant, Ursula, would record the results. After the initial results were in, Berger contacted Konstantin M. Bykov about his experiments with finding and separating the "self" (I got Stranger vibes from Bykov). After Schmidt's consent, Berger continued his experiments using silver wires now, which gave similar results to the first experiment. After a Buried/Eye type dream, about a deep, dark ocean full of dark secrets with unknowable radio signals overhead (perhaps the Web is involved too?), Berger made a new device with a telegraph to translate the signals, and experimented again of Schmidt. This time, there were rhythmic noises that got faster when asked questions about the self. Berger then put these questions into the telegraph while waiting for Ursula to finish recording the results, which led to quick signals from the telegraph, that translated to something that was alone asking for help to get out (presumably the wires). Schmidt suffered a seizure and died, with the wires forcing themselves out of his head.

This case gave off a lot of Eye and Buried vibes - Berger seeking knowledge buried in a person via burying wires into Schmidt's head (Schmidt was also "imprisoned" during this experiment as he was strapped to a chair with a variety of leather straps). The discovery of the Self also read very Stranger to me.

So Augustus has only been in 3 episodes so far:

• 4 - slaughter violin requires blood - prerequisite to Grifter's Bone ? (TMA)

• 18 - talking corpse (first case with tape recorder and compelling; confirms Alice's story)

• 22 - experiments, seperating self, something wants out

I have a theory about this:

So Augustus is the most rare computer entity, with many theories (including my own) saying that he is Jonah. I wonder if his cases that he is reading are a way of communication when he gains semi-sentience. First (ep 4), a sacrifice is required, perhaps a warning about what is to come with the Institute, or perhaps it is what it is required to free him. Next (ep 18), a confirmation of the supernatural forces at play and that something from TMA came over to the OIAR universe. Even the supposed dead can talk. Now (22), he wants out. He is buried in information and battling with the self. He wants out.

Post Case (Sam and Alice):

Sam found out about Alice tinkering with his computer and is angry about it. He is right in one regard - Alice does sound hypocritical by saying the Institute stuff is crazy but then goes on saying how the computer is setting him up. However, I am on Alice' side. Like she says- she's trying to protect Sam and stop him from going insane, like Colin appears to be (he probably knows a lot about what's going on, and thus is not actually insane, but just seems to be). Alice does have ulterior motivation, however - she wanted to get close to Sam again. Maybe romanticly, maybe platonically, but she wanted to get some kind of relationship with Sam, which is why she's being so protective of him.

Although from Sam's side, it seems that her protectiveness was overbearing when they were dating. Sam views what Alice sees as protective as controlling. This might be related to their pasts:

Sam - We know his parents were pretty controlling with his schooling (especially since he was "gifted") and his career (I believe it was said that his parents pushed him down the law path), so naturally, when he has freedom, he takes advantage of it. Therefore, when Alice's protective instincts kick in, she ends up coming off as overbearing and "invading on his privacy and freedom."

Alice - We know she grew up as an older sibling to Luke, which is probably where the protective instict comes from. She (judging from their established relationship) seems to have been very protective of him for a while now and may have acted like another parent for him when they were younger. She shows she cares by basically being an older sibling, more specifically, being extremely protective. At times, she thinks she knows what is right for someone else and will push them down the path she thinks is best for them. She's trying to help, this being done without any malice whatsoever, but she can get too overprotective.

While Sam values freedom and choices, Alice values protection and keeping her loved ones safe.

Post Case (Sam & Celia):

Sam says Alice "pushes his buttons," which makes sense, as they value different things. Sam calls Alice a jealous ex, which is interesting to me. Is this all he sees her as? Not a friend, but someone who is jealous of Sam and Celia? While Alice is jealous of Sam and Celia, that doesn't seem to be her motivation. However, I understand that Sam is angry (which he has every right to be), and he probably didn't mean this as harsh as he puts it. He clearly values Alice and their friendship. I hope the two can make up.

It's really interesting that Celia associated Sam's conflict with Alice as him continuing to investigate the Institute. Perhaps it's again the freedom vs. protection values? Or just her trying to slip it into their conversation?

I appreciate Celia asking Sam if he's sure about investigating the Institute and giving him time to think or back out.

"Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood."

THE BOYS HAVE BEEN MENTIONED!!! WE HAVE OFFICAL MENTIONS OF THE BOYS!!! BY NAME!!!! JON AND MARTIN!!!! LETSGOOOOO!!!

Right now, I'm thinking that Celia is slowly revealing information from her universe about the Institute to Sam (possibly after fact-checking it in the OIAR universe).

[vaspider]

Last night, I turned off ep 4 of Discovery out of disgust and went to watch Fallout.

I put up with a lot, but you don't drydock a fucking starship in atmosphere and Utopia Planitia is on Mars, for fuck's sake. It's not sitting in the fucking hills of San Francisco where you can see the Golden Gate Bridge out the window.

[Below there be spoilers.]

For 4 seasons, I have defended the FUCK out of this show. For 4 seasons, I have genuinely loved most of Discovery, and I've loved it enough to make me keep watching it even when we only found out that one character basically had a full-body prosthetic in the episode where they killed her off, and when the Red Angel turned out to be the hokiest answer ever, and when Disco fell prey to the storywriting trope I tend to call Skywalker Syndrome (you know, the one where there are only like 6 people who matter in an entire galaxy and anybody who matters has to be related to them somehow).

But I can't fucking put up with what they're doing to Discovery.

It started with the decision the writers made - for the sake of POINTLESS DRAMA - to have an Admiral look at two captains about to go on an Extremely Crucial Mission, which they told us over and over again was Extremely Crucial, using a term nobody had ever heard before like we were supposed to know or care what that meant, "why don't you two try to get along" when they asked who was in command of the mission.

Okay, look, first of all, absolutely not, and you're a shitty admiral if that's what your response is. SOMEONE is in command of this mission. And second of all, if you're the admiral and that's what you said, then who is the one in trouble when things go to shit bc there is no clear chain of command? YEAH. IT'S YOU. Holding one of your captains responsible for making a decision that you wouldn't have made, and for "not listening to the better decision," and taking his ship away? That's bullshit. You put two captains at odds and then you hold them responsible and not yourself?

Dude, you fucking suck, and this shit ain't Starfleet. It ain't even acceptable under the "oh no we're post-Burn and getting our shit together." This is basic stuff. There's a chain of command for a reason.

Then you have Saru suggesting that Burnham make her Extremely Recently Ex-boyfriend, a convicted criminal who stole crucial technology from the Federation and tried to break the universe, her Number One bc Saru is resigning his commission to become an ambassador. Her never-been-Starfleet ex-boyfriend. Yeah, sure, I'm sure that's the Very Best Idea that a Federation and Starfleet idealist like Saru would suggest. Let's put this guy who has never worn a uniform and has been very loudly Not A Team Player and has no idea how Starfleet works and hasn't done his Time In Grade one heartbeat away from being in command of the Discovery. I'm sure that will be GREAT for crew cohesion, having this dude who has not put in the time just leapfrog his way past everyone who has been busting their ass for years and who literally left their entire lives behind, centuries in the past, to land in the XO spot because "he works well with you" and "he knows [this season's antagonists] and how they work."

Thankfully that didn't fucking happen, but having Saru even suggest it felt like a profound betrayal of Saru *as a character.* File that under He Would Not Fucking Say That.

I can't even enjoy Leoben's actor, and i can't even enjoy him being from an alien species that somebody dug up from one episode of DS9, because he is not just an asshole but he's an asshole who has no respect for anybody or anything. Star Trek's assholes are always the ones that you can at least understand why they are the way they are, and you can excuse it because they are Federation Idealists or they have such great skills or respect for an ideal that you might not understand but you understand that it's important to them.

No. This guy is just there to be a dick and make Burnham look cool and reasonable and nice by comparison, and he's 90% of the time incompetent as fuck. Like, one time his ideas are good, but when his ideas are good, it's only because he's been disrespecting chain of command so hard for so long that he has info he shouldn't have. They made him suck so much that I can't find ANYTHING about him to like, AND I LIKED LEOBEN.

"But at least we've got our gay relationship-- " Nope! They broke up one of the queer relationships pretty much right away, and the other one gets zero screen time and might as well not exist. They don't even really interact at the one party we've had. It's almost painfully obvious that they're avoiding having the two of them together.

"Maybe I can tough it out to see Tig, I love Commander Reno-- " Nope. We've gotten one scene in which she predicted the breakup of the baby gays.

It really feels like they took away all the writers who know and love Trek and understand what makes it good, and filled the writers room with people who are just standing around and peeing on the show Bible while saying "THIS WILL MAKE GOOD DRAMA."

I'm sad. I hate this season, and after suffering my way through s3 of Picard out of hopes they'd answer the goddamned question finally, I'm not putting myself through this again.

I used to love this show.

[telomeke-bbs]

BAD BUDDY FILMING LOCATIONS 13

Barring any surprise discoveries, this write-up will call time on all of my Bad Buddy location posts – I've had notes for this tucked away for more than a year now, and have been putting off writing it up partly because I didn't want it to end, and also partly because (frustratingly) there's one final location I still haven't been able to track down (😬 more on that later).

But now it's time; more than two years after Bad Buddy aired I really should put my location posts to bed, and I was motivated to set digital pen to virtual paper by an Ask from fellow BBS fan @honey-beebs (linked here). Lucky Bee is heading to Bangkok right about now and will be looking up BBS locations while there, so I hope my posts will be helpful! 💖

This write-up, Part 13 in the series, profiles mostly odds and ends – minor locations that I found late and/or couldn't manage to fit into any other location post. So there isn't a theme here, but it's all BBS-related so hopefully Bad Buddy location fans will still find something interesting in this.

To start things off: the scene where Pat helps Pran look for his lost earphones (beginning at Ep.4 [1‌/4] 10.29) is the only outdoor one with an overt reference to rugby (Pat is still in his rugby kit after practice) that was filmed at Rangsit University (RSU):

(above) The boys search for Pran's lost earphones at BBS Ep.4 [1‌/4] 10.58

All other rugby scenes (plus a whole lot of outdoor university scenes as well) were filmed at Bangkok University's Rangsit campus. But the location of this one scene is actually the grass verge in front of RSU's Faculty of Architecture:

(above) The tree in front of the Architecture Faculty, below which Pat and Pran search for Pran's lost earphones

Proof of the above is the building that we see in the background of the scene, behind Pat and Pran – that's the Chinese-Thai Institute of Rangsit University, with its unmistakeable roofline and parade of columns, on the other side of the road from RSU's Faculty of Architecture:

(top) The Chinese-Thai Institute of Rangsit University (opposite the Faculty of Architecture); (bottom) the map location of the Chinese-Thai Institute in relation to the Faculty of Architecture‌

Elsewhere on campus, the covered car park where Pat serenaded Pran with Nanon and Sizzy's Love Score (Ep.8 [1‌/4] 15.52), spied on by a furious Wai (Ep.8 [1‌/4] 16.57 and Ep.9 [1‌/4] 5.19) is also where Pat, loving Pran on the down low, waves to Chang, Korn and Mo before getting into his car where Pran is waiting (Ep.12 [3‌/4] 4.54):

(top left) Pat serenades Pran in his car at Ep.8 [1‌/4] 15.59; (top right) Wai sees Pran getting into the car of his sworn enemy Pat at Ep.9 [1‌/4] 5.21; (bottom) Pat waves to Chang, Korn and Mo from the covered car park while Pran stays horizontal and out of sight in the car (Ep.12 [3‌/4] 4.54)

These scenes were filmed at the ground floor covered car park of the Faculty of Optometry (Building 12/1) at Rangsit University:

(top) Location of the Faculty of Optometry on the map; (middle) the ground floor covered car park of the Faculty of Optometry is on the left of the photo – in Bad Buddy the perforated cladding is visible at Ep.9 [1‌/4] 5.21 and Ep.12 [3‌/4] 4.54; (bottom left) a look into the car park; (bottom right) the building opposite the car park, that we see behind Chang, Korn and Mo at Ep.12 [3‌/4] 4.54

‌

Another covered car park in Bad Buddy was the airport car park in Ep.12, that we got to see when Pat sent Pran off to further his architectural career in Singapore:

(above) Pat and Pran at the airport car park (Ep.12 [3‌/4] 7.32)

Despite the airport signage at the top right of the image, this wasn't the car park at Don Mueang (or Suvarnabhumi for that matter). It's actually the same car park as the previous filming location (the ground floor covered car park of the Faculty of Optometry), just over at the other end facing the basketball court:

Corroborating details are the large V-shaped struts and the ramp next to them, that we can see behind Pat and Pran at Ep.12 [3‌/4] 7.32.

And if the adjacent basketball court looks familiar – it's arguably most famous because of its appearance in SOTUS S2, when Kongpob and Arthit were shooting hoops there in a one-on-one bet. (And that was also when Kongpob found out Arthit was a great shooter – see SOTUS S Ep.4 [4/4] 8.22. 🤣)

The court also appeared a couple of times in SOTUS Season 1, but its scene with Arthit and Kongpob's matchup is perhaps the most memorable one. 🤩

‌

Still on the RSU campus, the South Technology University Library was represented by (no surprises here) the Rangsit University Library (Building 7). This is also the building on whose forecourt Pat and Pran's favorite wonton noodle stall is located:

(top) Location of the RSU Library on the map; (bottom) a view of RSU Library (Building 7) and the forecourt in front, that housed the wonton noodle stall

In Bad Buddy, the South Technology University library scenes are all indoors:

(top) Pat keeps the Engine gang distracted while Pran hustles the Archi gang back out of the library at Ep.2 [1‌/4] 5.58; (bottom) Pran apologizes to other library users for reacting too loudly to Pat's teasing at Ep.3 [2/4] 3.30 (actually the same location as the one above, just from a different angle)

Matching images of the RSU Library with corroborating details:

(top) This photo from RSU Library's Facebook (linked here) has a lot of matching details – the RFID gate scanners, the ceiling lights, the bookshelves, the shelf labeling, vinyl floor pattern, orange-red ottoman, green exit sign and what looks like a book-scanning station in the bottom right can all be seen at BBS Ep.2 [1‌/4] 5.58; (bottom) this photo on Google Maps by P. Hirancharoennon (dated April 2019, linked here) is actually a match for BBS Ep.3 [2/4] 3.30, just viewed from a different angle – note the same dark red sofas that curve around the columns, chairs in the far background that match what Pat and Pran are sitting on, the ceiling lights, the computers for OPAC (library catalog) reference and the yellow-orange poster of what looks like a clock on the right

‌

This scene of Pat applying ointment to Pran's shoulder at Ep.7 [2/4] 3.05 (re-living the tending to my stricken lover trope and calling back to Ep.4 [3‌/4] 7.07) is one of the few in BBS that actually shows wet weather (remembering that the series was filmed at the height of Thailand's rainy monsoon season, although we don't actually get any scenes of PatPran in the rain):

This scene was filmed at the elevator lobby of Chana City Residence, and may possibly have been one of the scenes originally planned for the rooftop that were rained out on that fateful last night of filming (see the Behind-the-Scenes video จนกว่าจะพบกันใหม่ครับเพื่อน! | แค่เพื่อนครับเพื่อน | BAD BUDDY SERIES linked here):

Anyway, proof of the location can be found in this scene in Oxygen The Series Ep.12 [2/4] 13.57:

The full-height window frames, wall paneling and red fire alarm panel are a match for what we see in Bad Buddy.

Oxygen The Series filmed a lot at Chana City Residence, with the building name prominently displayed in the ground floor lobby scenes (see Oxygen The Series Ep.12 [3‌/4] 5.17 for one example). This confirmed its location, and thus the matching end wall of the elevator lobby also confirms the location for Bad Buddy's scene above at Ep.7 [2/4] 3.05.

‌

Pat and Pran's motorbike ride in Hua Hin was filmed at one of the side roads perpendicular to Khao Tao Beach:

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.11 [2/4] 13.15 – Pat and Pran set off on a motorbike ride toward Uncle Yod's bar

In the distance behind Pat and Pran we can just make out (on the left, half-hidden by a tree) the island of Ko Singto (also called Ko Sai) with its distinctive, leonine silhouette.

The truck ride to and from Chatchai Market (scene beginning at Ep.6 [3‌/4] 0.28) and PatPran's mud-play (scene beginning at Ep.6 [3‌/4] 4.00) were also probably filmed along the same road because we can see the same kind of barbed wire fencing, and Ko Singto also appears at Ep.6 [3‌/4] 4.04.

(top) PatPran in Uncle Tong's yellow Datsun; (bottom) Pran slaps some Hua Hin mud on Pat

(top) Uncle Tong, Pat, Pran and Junior head off to Chatchai Market; (bottom) Ko Singto in the background on their return

The exact side road (more like a dirt path) isn't traversable on Google Street View (and with increasing development of the area it may not be around for much longer anyway). But other Street View captures show similar barbed wire fencing in the general vicinity:

(above) This image from Google Street View showing similar barbed wire fencing dates to January 2017 and can be viewed at location 12°27'50.4"N 99°58'36.0"E

Noting that the road heads toward a hill looming inland (visible at Ep.6 [3‌/4] 0.28), triangulating off the map pinpoints an approximate location:

(top) The approximate location on Google Maps; (bottom) a dirt path viewed from 12°28'28.7"N 99°58'24.9"E, that is a likely candidate for the location (the trees in the distance are a match for what we see flanking the road at Ep.11 [2/4] 13.15)

‌

So PatPran's motorbike ride ended up at Uncle Yod's beach bar (location already identified in this post here – it's the Anchor Bar and Restaurant at Khao Tao Beach). However, the approach road to Uncle Yod's Bar is also visible on Google Street View – the location coordinates are 12°28'03.7"N 99°58'35.1"E, which brings up a match:

(top) Bad Buddy Ep.11 [2/4] 14.09 – Pat and Pran at the entrance to Uncle Yod's bar; (bottom) a screenshot from Google Street View of the approach road to the Anchor Bar and Restaurant

‌

The filming location for the music video to Pat's theme song Secret (sung by Kacha Nontanun) was already identified in this post here (it's the legendary rooftop of Chana City Residence):

‌

The music video for Pran's theme song (Just Friend?) stepped away from Bad Buddy and was a mini-movie unto itself:

The video was filmed in a location that had nothing to do with Bad Buddy the series – the Prince Palace Hotel Mahanak in central Bangkok. Visual proof of this is within the video itself, at timestamp 2.33:

(above) Nanon scribbles "แค่เพื่อนมั้ง?" (meaning "Just a friend?") on the hotel notepad, which bears the name Prince Palace Hotel Mahanak

From the interior details we can tell that the music video for PatPran's theme of togetherness (Our Song) was also filmed at the same hotel:

(top) Music video for Our Song, timestamp 2.11; (bottom) music video for Just Friend?, timestamp 2.07

Although the images above do not show not the same space, there are enough similar details in both (e.g., the armchairs, the green wainscoting with its gold-trimmed wainscot cap and the window framing) for us to conclude that both videos were filmed in the same building – the Prince Palace Hotel Mahanak.

‌

One final location that was referred to in Bad Buddy didn't actually have any scenes filmed there – it's the street in Singapore where Pran's condo was supposed to have been located. The address was identified on a postcard on the Ep.12 memory board (see this link here for more detail):

(above) Pran's postcard to Pat from Singapore, on the Ep.12 memory board

Although the details in Pran's address are mostly fictitious, the street is not. Lorong Limau in Singapore actually exists:

(top) Map location of Lorong Limau; (bottom) a screenshot of the neighbourhood around Lorong Limau

Lorong is the Malay word for street, and Pran's full address in Singapore is Blk 94, Lorong Limau #86‑05, Singapore 320047. Except for Lorong Limau and Singapore however, the address is wholly made-up.

This location is nowhere near the Marina Bay Sands (so Pran really couldn't have seen it from his apartment window). The neighbourhood around Lorong Limau is known as Kallang/Whampoa and it is considerably less flashy than residences bayside (although it is still central and convenient). There is also no Block 94 nearby, nor is the unit number #86-05 a real one, because the 86 refers to the floor level and there are no buildings with as many floors in Singapore at time of writing.

OK, so maybe Pran stayed here for a spell and then moved to within sight of the Marina Bay Sands sometime later? Not completely far-fetched, because we know that by the time of his Ep.12 break in Bangkok he had been working on a new tower for Marina Bay (and it would have had to have been a pretty prestigious project to be sited in that locale, meaning that Pran could well have afforded swankier digs if his career was on the up and up):

‌

And this is probably just a coincidence, but guess what's happening with the Marina Bay Sands? 🤣

Planning approval has been given and construction is expected to commence some time in 2025.‌ Yay Pran! 🤣

‌

Anyway, these are all the locations that I have for now. I've not been able to track down every location in Bad Buddy, nor am I going to try. For example, I'm not going to stress out over unidentified interior spaces like Ajahn Pichai's office in Ep.1 and Ep.3, and InkPa's dark room in Ep.10:

(top) Ajahn Pichai's office at Ep.1 [4/4] 6.19; (bottom) InkPa's dark room confession at Ep.10 [3‌/4] 17.05

These were likely filmed within the same buildings that represented their series counterparts anyway, so Ajahn Pichai's office is likely at RSU's College of Engineering, and the dark room in RSU's Digital Multimedia Complex (Building 15).

Likewise, I'm not able to say exactly where on campus the 112 Chemical Store is (where Bad Buddy made a potent political statement) as there is no Google Street View down that back alley.

But because of this TikTok video by TikToker @‌markydoge, I know it has to be somewhere in the environs of the RSU College of Engineering. 🤩

It's probably near the white tiger mural and workshops, because the air-conditioning condensers and buttressed walls that we see just before Pat pulls Pran into that alleyway are similar to those that we see when the Engine boys chase down Wai at the beginning of Ep.1 – and because the roofline of the Engine workshops can be seen behind Korn and Chang in their pursuit of Wai at Ep.1 [1‌/4] 0.51, the location is also anchored on the map. 👍‌

‌

HOWEVER, there is still one fairly important location that remains unidentified and that continues to frustrate me – and it's Pat and Pran's family hardware stores.

(above) Ming and Chai watch Pran's dad set up store right next to the Jindapats' one at BBS Ep.1 [1‌/4] 4.54

I've searched far and wide but just cannot find the location, and it's all the more frustrating because there are so many clues:

The store belonging to Pat’s family looks like it is actually a construction material shop; the shelves and the items all around have been there for some time, and not likely to have been put together just for Bad Buddy.

The store belonging to Pran’s family looks like a covered vehicular park or outdoor storage, masquerading as a shop though.

The general location of the shops is likely to be not in Rangsit (where a lot of other filming happened), but rather somewhere closer to central Bangkok (though not right in the city center either). This is because the planting on the road divider outside is very well-manicured (which is more a feature of central Bangkok), and the lamp-post has markings similar to those on central Bangkok lamp-posts. But there aren’t any tall buildings visible, so it’s not likely to be in the absolute city center either, where skyscrapers are everywhere blocking the sky.

I've been scouring maps of Bangkok and trawling Google Street View, but have not been able to find a matching location. If anybody out there has any leads, please do let me know! 😍

And that's a wrap for BBS locations! For now, at least (unless I can find the above – I won't stop trying). 😍 In the meantime, if any Bad Buddy fans have questions about BBS locations that you think I might be able to help with, do send me an Ask or message and I'll be more than happy to share my two bahts' worth! 💖

‌

[P.S. – here are the links to all the filming location posts:

Part 1 – The legendary rooftop, PatPran’s student apartments, their high school, the white arches behind the Engineering Canteen, the Zero Waste Village and various seaside scenes, their honeymoon suite, the hospital where Pat was treated for his gunshot graze, and the high school reunion.

Part 2 – Pat and Pran’s family homes, the Flagpole Bar, the car park fight location, and the Jae Si Curry House.

Part 3 – Various locations at and around the rugby field, including Pat’s photoshoot with Ink, the rugby bleachers, the iced milk tea (and green tea wave) picnic table, InkPa’s photography picnic, the old bus stop and the new bus stop. Also Khun Noppharnach’s pharmacy.

Part 4 – Pat’s Engineering Faculty (in and around Rangsit University’s College of Engineering).

Part 5 – Pran’s Architecture Faculty (Rangsity University’s School of Architecture).

Part 6 – Various F&B and commercial locations (eateries, shops, malls and a market). Also the setting for Pat, Pran and Wai's fight at the base of PatPran's student apartment building, as well as the scene where Pa says to Ink "Anyone taller than me is fine".

Part 7 – Pat’s post-graduation apartment and Pran’s residence in Singapore.

Part 8 – Various campus locations filmed within Rangsit University’s Digital Multimedia Complex, including the auditorium and the Freshy Day Song Contest.

Part 9 – The LogTech Building and Pran’s architectural office in Singapore.

Part 10 – Locations for the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy special episodes.

Part 11 – The apartment for rent that Pran went to view in Ep.2, the elevator scene with Pat just after the viewing, and Wai’s apartment.

Part 12 – PatPran’s elementary and high schools, as well as the location of Pa’s near-drowning.

Part 13 – Random locations (Pran searching for his lost earphones, the covered car park where Wai spied on Pat serenading Pran with Nanon's Love Score, the airport car park, the SouthTech U Library, PatPran's rainy day ointment interlude, their motorbike and truck rides in Hua Hin, the approach road to Uncle Yod's bar, the filming location for the music videos Just Friend? and Our Song, and Pran's street address in Singapore).

Will update this list if I can track down the hardware stores! 🤣]

‌

[newcrests-townie]

So, I did a thing.

And it's all thanks to @simmrundrstories post on Twitter 💙

Here's the map of my Simiverse! 🗺️🌎

It's based on the painting that came with Discovery University EP and been made on Inkarnate website.

Note that It has no relation to our real world, it's purely how I imagine worlds in my own game 🤓.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 26 - A Hairy Mystery

TW: Discussions of in-universe false allegations of S.A. towards animals and/or children. Discussions of addictions, and what might be actual S.A.

This episode is a doozy, both canonically and due to the analysis I conduct.

From the first seconds of the episode, we can note one very important detail:

The episode's narration is not censored by Kerubim, as is usually the case, but filtered through Joris's very limited understanding of sexuality and other adult things, and metaphors alluding to those.

Which results in this being a very dark episode in every single way possible and kinda batshit insane, when thought about for too much.

This is the same house as the one we'll see in Episode 50, Deadly Charm.

During Episode 50's time, the two of them share this house. This may suggest that the two episodes happen relatively closely, timeline-wise. It would make sense, considering the fact that in both of these episodes, Lou investigates crimes.

This investigation sounds like how long a war that would result in the birth of a very cool huppermage would last.

This episode will be hellish to translate... First of all: all the little text on these images? Just gibberish. Also, it's the same gibberish copypasted in all the newspapers.

However, we have some juicy stuff in the big text blocks: real text, with more context for the ep, besides what we see through Joris's ~imagination~

Big text on the top:

"LITTLE CAT (??? something something)

LITTLE CAT WHO DRANK MILK WAS NICE, FRIENDLY AND WELL-BEHAVED, WHICH DOESN'T/DIDN'T---

THIS BY PUTTING LAXATIVE IN THE BOWL OF HIS SWEET SELF"

Big text on the bottom:

"HE LOOKS LIKE A BEANPOLE(???) -----------UN"

Firstly: the newspaper name says "BOTA" instead of "BONTA"... Not even a spare letter "N" for the starving public?

The text on the left is, for some reason, upside down, and the letter N is in my transcription only because it makes more sense than W. What is says is: "EST U(N)E FIOTTE"

Translation: Someone (a female judging by "une") is (I am about to quote google here) "a homophobic(?) swear word for men(??)."

I'm sure someone in Ankama was very giddy to have snuck this in, but god, I wish I knew what this really means.

Don't worry. There are worse hidden texts in this episode... Like this next one.

I guess that what Kerubim is accused of is. Uh. not... literally eating a cat. It's something... different. Or eating the cat and also doing other things to the cat. hm.

I guess for Ecaflips, doing this to a cat, is not just an animal thing but also uh. a kid thing.

...Idk if I ever wanted to know this much about the World of Twelve. Man.

To pause from the insanity of this episode so far, I want to point out, that, both here, and in the episode 50, which we had established, takes place close to this one, Kerubim and Lou are very close to marriage/consider each other fiancés (in episode 50, she is referred to as his wife, despite them not being married).

So... I am assuming both of them take place before Ecaflip City! We're making some real discoveries here, folks.

This episode was funnier before I knew this was Kerubim's twitter callout arc. Now it's just sad.·😭

Also, in a better circumstance, I would comment on how cute it is that Kerubim says he likes cats (or babies, considering that for ecaflips... yeah. man. this episode is making me say insane things.) that much.

No wonder he's going fucking insane.

The first one is a reused text asset from the first episodes that says "MAISON DE NERUBIM CREPIN". What she is writing seems to be "RMCP"

The second one is, uh. Yeah.

Judging by the paintings, I suppose this episode takes place after Vax's Art (ep10) and Bashi the Shark (ep7).

I know these are just reused assets, but also — it's Ankama's own fault that they gave me this to do theorizing with.

Jesus fucking Christ, here we go. Twenty pages of analysis incoming:

He had a very interesting evening. Getting drunk (as usual), gambling (as usual)...

But having a woman "ride" him, while being very, very drunk, too — is this also, in fact, usual? Hopefully, it was a literal riding, horse-style.

Judging from Lou's phrasing and reaction, as well as this episode's whole thing so far, it was probably not.

Which is... not good at all. Yeah.

We'll never truly know, with Joris's unreliable narration in this episode. But I am sad to report, that I don't think it would be out of character for Kerubim to... have these things happen to him, and be okay with that.

And it's in-character for Lou to view Kerubim's habits of getting drunk and gambling everything away, while having ambiguously-nonconsensual (on his side) relations with women, as punishable evils on his part, good old "shit boyfriend" behaviours.

Instead of, y'know, self-destruction.

...Okay, I think I am ready to present something to you, so here's a refresher for my earlier liveblogs, in the form of the six tenets of theorizing about their final break up we established:

She left sad, and unlike many other times, without any anger for Kerubim.

She left Luis with him to watch over him.

She also left Luis because he couldn’t go with her, but that could mean many things.

She left after Ecaflip City, obviously, and at that time, their relationship seemed the healthiest. (Well, as healthy as it could be.)

Unlike all the other times, Kerubim didn’t go searching for her. It seems this separation was final in a way no other was, and there had to be a reason that he didn’t go and try to make up. An unsolvable issue.

Both Luis and Kerubim blame Kerubim, and the first one uses this to make the second one angry.

I think it's time to make to finally reveal my Divorce Theory:

I think Lou left Kerubim after regaining her memories, and realizing that they're just bad for each other.

She often manipulated him using his insecurities and fears of abandonment, which are the result of his childhood traumas. She hit him, and disregarded, or at times exacerbated, his various mental health issues.

While he has cheated on her many times while being completely sober, without any regard for her personhood and feelings. He's gambled away her memories.

Yes, they loved each other, but they were horrible together.

And I think it's a very sad realization to have about someone you've been in love with for your whole life:

That all you've ever managed to do is hurt each other, and make things worse.

...Now that I'm done with sad divorce theories, let's finish up this episode.

The newspaper that shows miss Kitty behind bars, has all the same text as the newspaper where Kerubim is behind bars, so I won't include it, but this?

This has a plot twist:

"EM ILIE EST U(N)E FIOTTE"

...Emilie, if you're out there: years ago, in Dofus: Aux Trésors de Kerubim, someone called you a bad word.

And I hope it was a joke and not some office drama. I really do hope so.

...My reaction to this whole fucking episode, Keke.

My exact reaction to all of it.

This is the face of a parent who knows that he will have to assess the damage. A second plane has hit the fucking pentagon level damage.

The "will he be asking me what "riding" means now?" "will he be asking me why "you ate a kitten" allegations got me into prison?" level damage.

Actual nightmare.

[adri2-brgr]

Hi everyone ! My name is Adrien and first of all, welcome to my blog !

Music has, for as long as I can remember, always been a part of my life. My dad loved (and still loves) to just sit down and take time for him to just enjoy his favourite songs, which is an habit I share with him.

I know it sounds really cliche but I do mean it when I say that I try to listen to everything. If I had to narrow it down tho (which is the case), I would say that some of my favourite artists as of right now would be the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kaffetorsk, Nujabes, Luv Resval, Snorunt, Ziak, Saez and Aoraki.

As for what I want to talk about for my first blog, I decided to share a little tip with all of you (I'm amazing I know) !

So today's subject is...

...about the concert hall ''La Laiterie'' in Strasbourg !

Most of you have probably been there once or twice to experience a concert or two, given than some rather big names already performed in there (Muse, Radiohead and, more recently, Fave or Ziak to name a few). What you may not know, however, is that sometimes some concerts are free ! Yes, you read that right, free ! As in, cheaper than cheap ! Obviously most of the bands you'll be able to see for free aren't really well known, but it can lead to some amazing discoveries !

If you enjoy discovering smaller bands and listening to music you might have never discovered before, it can be a good idea to check La Laiterie's website from time to time to see if any free concert catches your eye.

For exemple, I think it was in May of this year, some of my friends and I went to check out a band named ''Howlin Jaws''.

We knew nothing about those guys except that they made rock music... And what a good surprise ! This post is already long enough as is, so I'll try to keep it short. Their music has a 2010's garage band aesthetic that I personally really dig. They also take a lot of inspiration from The Beatles in regards to their musical universe. I highly recommend listnening to their album Half Awake Half Asleep (specifically Blue Day and Lost Songs) and their EP Burning House (particularly She's Gone).

Discovering this group was a really good surprise, so if you like to discover smaller artists I highly recommend checking La Laiterie's announcements from time to time !

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Best BLs on iQIYI

Love For Love's Sake

Korea 2024

This isekai KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. While I found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, this is certainly much better than early KBL in terms of consistency of tone, script, and immersion. Highly rewatchable and charming, which counts for a lot.

Blueming

Korea 2022

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL, but if you want your mind ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, this is a great BL.

Laws of Attraction

Thai 2023

This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character in all BL. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. There are several "singing incidents" and this pair is a little weak in the chemistry arena, but it's tons of fun. All the triggers tho.

Love Tractor

Korea 2023

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, just all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. But (and you knew there was a “but” coming) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different and too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

Unintentional Love Story

Korea 2023

A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya).

Bon Appetit

Korea 2023

Romance between an office worker the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd.

My Only 12%

Thai 2022

Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) and strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still I recommend it for the killer softly domestic couple chemistry.

A Breeze of Love

Korea 2023

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it.

Between Us

Thai 2023

Featuring the hugely popular side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again, WinTeam, adaptation of the y-novel Hemp Rope. It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series. That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities. It’s fine.

Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul

Thai 2022

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than it’s ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that aired on iQIYI (or was taken off the platform) after that date. Some stuff on iQIYI is also on other platforms and if I loved it, I listed it there not here.

This is part of a series continued here:

[pidgeeepombo]

°•*RADIO SILENCE*•°- Alice Oseman

°•book review•°

Hi my dear space readers! How are you?

Firstly, I'll say: this post will have many >MANY< SPOILERS!

It's just a personal opinion about this book that I love so much, and I have no one to talk about, if you want, comment your opinions about it too! Oh, and English isn't my first language, so sorry for any grammatical errors! And sorry for the long post btw🌷

Well, I finished another osemanverse book, Radio silence. And I have many considerations to make.

But first of all I wanted to say WHAT AN AMAZING BOOK. MY GOD ALICE IS A LEGEND! I just love it

So, this book took me much longer to read than it took me Solitarie, even though it was shorter, the beginning of the book took a while to capture me, but as I read and understood Francis's feelings more, seeing the construction From her friendship with Aled, the revelations about Carrys and also the entries into the universe city, I simply fell in love with the book.

I even think that Francis and Aled are my favorite characters.

(I already say that i love this book?)

I was able to identify with Francis (even though my academic life is much more similar to Carys' in terms of grades) and I thought it was really amazing How the author brought up this theme of "do I really have a real personality or do I Am I just pretending to everyone??" this is just incredible.

Besides, reading this book makes me see how HORRIBLE internet fandoms can be. The discovery that RADIO was ALED reminded me a lot of the events in "I was born for this" (another book by the same author)

My memory is horrible, I just know that on one page Aled and Francis were just being happy and a few pages later I was in tears. The scene where Francis says sorry to Aled gave me strong crying spells in the middle of class.......... (In fact my friend who sits next to me started reading this page with me, she told me that "I would never read anything I was reading again because I only read sad things" while he looked at me almost crying)

By the way, Omg, IS SOMEONE PUTTING CAROL LAST'S OLD LADY IN AN ASYLUM??? SHE'S A TERRIBLE MOTHER, MAN SHE KILLED ALED'S DOG, I ALMOST THROW THE BOOK AT THE WALL IN THAT PAGE #ihatethatwoman.

I confess that I miss seeing Aled's view of the events a little, since his only points of view in the book are in the Universe City eps. but I think that at the same time the universe of the city was the only way that Aled had to express himself, and as Daniel says in the book that it seemed that the universe of the city was the only thing that Aled really liked to do, it also gives the feeling that he was “trapped in his own world”, as is also mentioned in the book.

Aled Last shows us even without a POV how depression separates us from others. And how narcissistic mothers ruin their children's mental health (I hate you Caroll)

And Francis shows us how everything other people expect from ourselves shapes our personality. Even though we convince ourselves that we know ourselfs.

One of the phrases I liked most in the book was: "I can take some aggression from time to time. I'm strong. I'm a star. Cyborgs live and fall apart, but I'll never fall apart. Even when the dust of my bones flies over the walls From the city, I'll be living and I'll be swaying, I'll wave and laugh." -universe city ep 132 (book: radio Silencio by Alice oseman)

Sooooooo this is it! Bye space readers! See yaa on another post!✨

Art by @aliceoseman!💖