#entry way landscaping ideas

[mrs-storm]

Exterior Siding Large gray three-story mixed siding house exterior with a hip roof and a shingle roof in a mountain style

[northlaneofficial]

Front Yard Mulch An example of a mid-sized traditional shade front yard mulch landscaping in spring.

[swashbucklerswan]

Kansas City Front Yard Mulch

Photo of a mid-sized rustic shade front yard mulch garden path in spring.

[rarasek]

Traditional Landscape Kansas City An illustration of a medium-sized traditional shade front yard mulch landscaping in the spring can be seen here.

[asksailorponies]

Brick Pavers (Detroit)

[psychoslave]

Concrete Pavers - Landscape

[stylesispunk]

"Silent Strain" | Part ii

Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

previous chapter | next chapter

summary: Joel and you knew that bringing a child into this mad world was a mistake, but he wanted to give you the best that was left of that world after all.

w.c: 9,8k

warnings: established relationship, age gap (Joel is 43 and Reader 32) angst, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mentions of miscarriage, fluff, not proofreading, sorry. (The events in this story happened 10 years after the outbreak.) paragraphs in cursive are reader's journal entries.

a/n: Let's continue with this story. This was supposed to be only three LONG chapters but will be divided into four. Thank you to the ones who read the first part and shared their thoughts with me, you have no idea how happy reading your comments makes me. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated.

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

August

“We lost Tess.

I don’t know what to feel after losing Tess. She was always the strong one, the one who knew what to do. I’m angry at her for leaving, but I understand. She believed in something—believed in Joel and me, in Ellie. Maybe that’s why I can’t find the words, because if I admit she’s gone, then I admit I have to keep going… without her.”

A few days later, the three of you were on the road in Bill’s battered truck Joel had managed to get running. The engine growled low, the sound vibrating through your bones as you sat in the passenger seat, trying to stay awake. The steady hum of the road beneath the tires, combined with the rhythmic sway of the truck, made it hard to keep your eyes open.

Joel kept glancing over at you, his eyes softening every time he saw you fighting sleep. He was quiet, his hands gripping the wheel tightly, the muscles in his jaw working as he navigated the broken highways. You could feel his concern, even without him saying a word. Every few moments, he would sneak another look at you, checking if you were okay, if you needed anything.

Ellie, meanwhile, was in the backseat, her head pressed against the window as she took in the world outside. Her eyes darted around, watching the overgrown trees that lined the road, the crumbling buildings in the distance, and the occasional abandoned car. Everything was new to her—every stretch of landscape, every broken-down sign. Despite the grim situation, there was a light of curiosity in her eyes, a small spark of wonder.

"Never thought I'd get to see the world like this," Ellie murmured, mostly to herself, but loud enough that Joel and you could hear. "It’s kinda… pretty, in a messed-up way."

You smiled faintly, your head leaning against the cool glass of the window. "There’s a lot of beauty left," you agreed softly, your voice thick with sleep. "You just have to look for it."

Ellie shifted uncomfortably in the back seat, her eyes flicking between the two of you. She hadn’t known Tess for very long, but she could tell Tess's death weighed heavily on you. "Hey," she said softly, leaning forward between the seats. "You okay up there?"

You didn't respond, your gaze fixed on the road ahead, the passing scenery a blur of green and grey. You felt numb, your hands resting on your lap, fingers interlaced tightly as if holding on to something unseen. The guilt was an anchor, pulling you deeper into yourself, further away from everything and everyone around you.

Joel’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, the leather creaking under his fingers. "She’s just… processing," he said, his voice rough. "We all are."

Ellie frowned, leaning back against the seat. "Yeah, I get that. But it's not like it's your fault, you know?" she said, glancing at you.

Your eyes darted to her for just a second, then back to the road. You wanted to say something, but your throat felt tight, your chest heavy. It was like there was a barrier between you and the world, and you didn’t know how to break through it.

Joel cleared his throat. "We just need some time," he muttered, more to himself than to Ellie. He understood the pain, the way guilt could wrap around your heart like a vice. He knew that trying to force you to talk wouldn’t help. All he could do was be there, steady and present, like he promised.

The truck continued on, the road stretching out before you, endless and uncertain. You could feel Joel's occasional glances, the weight of his concern pressing against your silence. He wanted to comfort you, to reach out, but he knew there was no easy way to heal the wound Tess's death had left behind.

Ellie seemed to sense the tension and turned her gaze back to the window.

"I want to sleep," you murmured, your voice barely above a breath.

Joel glanced at you, his expression softening, the hard lines around his eyes relaxing just a fraction. He nodded, understanding in that quiet way he had, not pressing for more, not asking questions you couldn't answer. “Okay,” he said gently. “We’ll find a safe place to spend the night.”

He knew you needed rest, needed a break from the relentless march forward, both on the road and in your head. He’d seen this before — people carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, burdened by guilt and grief that wasn’t always theirs to bear. But it didn’t make it any easier to watch you go through it.

Joel's hand tightened on the steering wheel, and he glanced around, scanning the road for a place that looked secure enough to stop for a while.

Joel spotted a narrow dirt path leading off the main road into the dense woods. It was risky — the woods always were — but it was also a place where they could hide, away from the prying eyes of anyone passing by. A place where they might find some peace, at least for a few hours.

He turned the truck onto the path, driving slowly to avoid the deep ruts and branches that stretched across the way. The trees grew thicker around them, the canopy overhead blocking out the last bit of fading light. The woods felt quiet, almost too quiet, but Joel knew that was a good thing. The less noise, the fewer chances there were of running into trouble.

Eventually, he found a small clearing, just wide enough for the truck to fit without being seen from the road. He pulled the truck to a stop and turned off the engine. The silence was immediate, almost a relief, as the engine noise ceased and the sounds of the forest took over — the rustle of leaves in the breeze, the distant chirp of crickets.

“We’ll stay here,” Joel murmured, glancing at you. “For tonight, at least.”

You nodded, feeling the fatigue weighing down on you even more. You just wanted to sleep, to shut your eyes and escape from the heaviness that seemed to settle in your chest. Joel got out of the truck first, moving to your side, opening the door for you. He offered his hand, helping you out carefully.

Ellie hopped out after, her eyes scanning the trees around them. “Seems quiet,” she whispered. “But I don’t think is a proper place for a pregnant lady.”

You couldn’t help but smile a little at Ellie’s comment, despite everything. “Well, there aren’t exactly a lot of options,” you replied softly, squeezing Joel’s hand for support as you stepped down.

Joel’s face softened as he looked at you, his hand steady around yours. “We’ll make do,” he said quietly, glancing around the darkening woods. “Just for tonight.”

Ellie wandered ahead a bit, her eyes wide and alert, taking in the surroundings. “I’ll check around, see if there’s anything useful,” she offered, trying to sound casual but with a hint of concern in her voice.

Joel nodded, his hand still holding yours, guiding you carefully toward the truck bed. “Just stay here and don’t give more problems” he replied, his voice taking on a protective tone.

Ellie gave a mock salute, “Yes, sir,” she joked, but there was an underlying seriousness to her words.

You let out a small sigh as you sat down on the edge of the truck, your legs feeling like lead. Joel crouched in front of you, his eyes searching your face. “You okay?” he asked softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion.

You nodded, though you felt anything but okay. “Just… tired. My ass feels numb” you murmured, trying to make Joel smile.

Joel’s lips curved into a small, appreciative smile, though the concern in his eyes didn’t entirely fade. “Yeah, I bet it does,” he said softly, no long after, Joel's brow furrowed with concern, and he reached up, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “You need to rest,” he insisted. “We’ve got a long way to go tomorrow.”

You knew he was right, but the thought of closing your eyes, even for a moment, felt impossible. “I just can’t stop thinking about everything… Tess, the baby, all of it,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel’s face tightened at the mention of Tess, but he quickly masked it with a determined look. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised, his voice steady. “We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

You nodded, moving a little bit to accommodate the pain on your back and legs.

Joel reached over, gently rubbing your back to ease some of the tension you were feeling. “I know it’s hard,” he said softly, “but we’ll take it one step at a time. We’ve faced tough shit before, and we’ll get through this too.”

You took a deep breath, trying to focus on his words and the comfort of his presence.

“I just… I keep thinking about what’s next. About the future. What if I’m not strong enough for this?”

Joel shook his head, his eyes meeting yours with a fierce determination. “You’re stronger than you think. We’re all in this together, and we’ll make sure the baby’s safe.

Ellie, who had been quietly listening, looked up with a sympathetic expression. “It’s okay to be scared,” she said softly. “But you’re not alone. We’ve got your back.”

You managed a small smile at Ellie’s words, feeling a flicker of gratitude for her support. “Thanks, Ellie.”

Joel squeezed your hand gently, his voice unwavering. “We’ll take this one day at a time. For now, try to get some rest.”

As you leaned against Joel’s shoulder, exhaustion finally started to overtake you. His warmth and steady presence made it easier to let your eyes close, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing lulling you into a much-needed sleep. You felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you closer, his thumb gently brushing against your arm as he tried to make you comfortable.

Joel shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, his eyes never leaving your face. He moved his other arm to support your head, cradling you as you slept. The lines of worry on his face softened for a moment, replaced by a rare tenderness.

Ellie watched the whole scene unfold with a quiet intensity. After a moment, she broke the silence with a soft, almost teasing voice. “You really love her, don’t you?”

Joel glanced at Ellie, caught off guard by her question. He hesitated, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face before he responded in a low, steady voice, “Yeah… I do.”

Ellie nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Good,” she whispered. “She deserves that.”

Joel’s gaze softened even more as he looked back at you, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “She deserves a lot more than just that,” he murmured quietly, almost to himself. He sighed, his eyes turning back to the darkness outside, staying vigilant for any signs of danger.

Ellie sat back, her gaze still on Joel, observing the shift in his expression. "You know," she said quietly, “I didn’t know you were this protective over her.”

Joel’s jaw tightened slightly, and he gave a small nod, his eyes still scanning the woods. "It’s different," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It’s not just about me anymore. It’s about keeping her safe, keeping you both safe. And the baby."

Ellie watched him for another moment, her expression softening. "You’re doing a good job, Joel," she said earnestly.

Joel gave a faint smile, though it was tinged with worry. "I hope so," he replied, his voice filled with a rare tenderness. He looked down at you, still asleep against his shoulder, and felt a surge of protectiveness, stronger than ever.

For a moment, there was silence, only the sounds of the forest around them. Then Ellie shifted her weight, wrapping her arms around her knees. "We’ll be okay," she said, almost as if trying to convince herself too. "We just have to keep moving… together."

Joel nodded, his hand gently caressing your arm as you slept. "Yeah," he agreed softly.

"I didn’t take you for a softie.” Ellie joked.

Joel let out a low chuckle, his lips curling into a slight smirk. "Don’t go spreading that around, kid," he replied, keeping his voice light. "Gotta maintain my reputation."

Ellie grinned, enjoying this rare moment of teasing between them. "Your secret’s safe with me," she whispered, her tone playful. "But I think she already knows."

Joel’s smile softened as he looked down at you, still resting peacefully against him. "Yeah, she does," he murmured, his thumb tracing small, soothing circles on your arm. "And that’s all that matters."

Ellie watched him for a moment longer, a glimmer of warmth in her eyes. "You know," she said quietly, "I think you’re good for each other. Even if you’re all grumpy and stuff."

Joel scoffed, but his expression remained tender. "Grumpy, huh? You got a lot of nerve, kid," he replied with mock seriousness, but there was a lightness in his voice.

Ellie laughed softly, enjoying the back-and-forth. "Hey, I call it like I see it," she replied with a grin, leaning back against her pack. "But seriously, it’s nice to see you… you know, care about someone. Makes all this less… bleak, I guess."

Joel’s face softened further, a rare warmth breaking through his usual guarded demeanor. "I care about her, more than anything.” he said quietly, his gaze shifting from Ellie back to you, still sleeping soundly against his shoulder. “Now, go to sleep, Kid. I’ll make sure you both are safe”

“Three.” She said, before turning his back to Joel “me, her, and the baby.”

Joel's expression softened even more at Ellie's correction, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah," he murmured, his voice low and filled with a tenderness he rarely let show. "Three of you."

Ellie settled down, pulling her jacket tighter around her as she prepared to sleep. She glanced back one last time. "Goodnight, Joel."

"Goodnight, kid," Joel replied softly, his focus returning to the dark woods around them. He kept one arm protectively around you, his thumb still tracing gentle circles on your arm, feeling the steady rise and fall of your breathing.

For a moment, everything felt almost… normal. Peaceful. The world outside was still dangerous, still uncertain, but right here, in this tiny clearing with you and Ellie, Joel felt like he had something worth fighting for again. A reason to keep going, to stay vigilant.

He glanced down at you, his heart swelling with an emotion he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years. "I won't let anything happen to any of you," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

the night wore out, and you woke up with a blanket wrapped around your body. It took you some seconds to realize where you were, until you saw Ellie sleeping next you. You immediately look for Joel, until you saw him, standing some feet away, holding his riffle on his hands.

You slowly pushed the blanket aside, careful not to disturb Ellie, who was curled up beside you, her breaths deep and even in sleep. The blanket’s warmth still lingered on your skin, and it took you a moment to realize Joel must have covered you with it sometime during the night.

Quietly, you got up and made your way over to him, your steps soft against the damp ground. Joel heard you approach; his posture relaxed slightly, but he kept his gaze fixed on the distance, always alert. As you reached his side, he glanced down at you, his expression unreadable in the shadows.

“Hey,” you whispered, your voice still thick with sleep.

Joel’s eyes softened at the sight of you. “Hey,” he replied just as quietly, his voice gravelly in the early morning air. “Did I wake you up?”

“You didn’t,” you assured him. “I just… I woke up and saw you over here.” You looked out into the woods, the thick trunks of trees barely visible in the dawn light. “You’ve been up all night?”

He gave a small shrug. “Someone’s gotta keep watch. Couldn’t sleep, anyway.” His tone was matter-of-fact, but there was an undercurrent of something else — concern, maybe. “You should get some more rest. Still got a long way ahead of us.”

You shook your head, moving closer so your arm brushed against his. “I’m okay,” you whispered, “but you need to take care of yourself, too.”

Joel huffed out a quiet laugh, though there was no humor in his eyes. “I’ll rest when we’re safe,” he replied, his hand shifting on the rifle. “But thanks for the concern.”

You reached out, placing a hand on his arm, feeling the tension coiled in his muscles. “Joel, you can’t do everything alone.”

His gaze flickered to yours, something vulnerable passing through his expression. “I know,” he murmured. “I just… I can’t risk anything happening to you or Ellie. Not again. Not after…”

He trailed off, but you knew what he was thinking — Tess, all the others they had lost. You leaned in closer, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his warmth seep into you.

“We’ll be okay,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his torso, leaving a trace of kisses on his neck.

Joel stiffened for a moment as your lips brushed against his neck, his breath hitching at the unexpected touch. His hand tightened on the rifle, but slowly, he relaxed into your embrace. He let out a soft, shaky breath, his free arm coming around you, pulling you closer.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice a little rough, "don’t go getting all soft on me now." But there was no bite in his words, just a quiet plea masked by his gruff exterior.

You smiled against his skin, feeling the way his body responded to your touch, the way his heart beat a little faster under your palm. "Just admit you love it," you murmured between kisses, your lips trailing gently up his neck, finding the spot just below his ear that made him shiver.

Joel swallowed hard, his fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt as if holding on to you for dear life. "You’re gonna be the death of me," he breathed out, but his voice was thick with emotion.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him. His eyes were dark, filled with fear, longing, and something else, something softer, more vulnerable than he usually let himself show. "I’m not going anywhere," you said firmly, your hand moving to cup his cheek. "And neither are you.”

He let out a shaky breath, his forehead resting against yours. "Goddamn it," he muttered, almost to himself, "you make it so damn hard not to…" He didn't finish, but you understood. You always did.

You smiled softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. "Not to what?"

Joel chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that was rare but welcome. "Not to fall harder for you every day," he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's eyes searched yours for a moment, as if weighing your words, his breath still coming a little too fast. Then, without another word, he leaned down and kissed you. His lips were urgent, needy, as though he was trying to pour all his unspoken fears and desires into that single moment.

The kiss deepened quickly, his hand moving to the back of your head, tangling in your hair as he pulled you closer. You could feel the roughness of his beard against your skin, the way his heart pounded against your chest. There was something desperate in the way he kissed you, something that spoke of all the things he couldn't say, all the things he had lost and was afraid of losing again.

You kissed him back with equal fervor, your hands moving to his shoulders, then sliding up to cup his face, feeling the strength and the fragility all at once. His lips were warm, his breath hot against your mouth, and you could feel the way he was holding back, afraid to let go completely, but wanting so badly to let himself feel this.

When he finally broke the kiss, his forehead rested against yours, his breath ragged. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," he confessed, his voice thick, barely above a whisper.

You smiled softly, brushing a thumb over his cheek. "You won’t lose me," you promised. "We’ve come too far for that."

Joel’s eyes softened, his thumb gently tracing your lips as if memorizing the feel of them. "I love you," he said, the words coming out almost like a prayer like he needed to say them out loud to believe them. You felt a warmth spread through your chest, your heart swelling with emotion. "I love you, too," you whispered back, leaning in for another kiss, this one softer, sweeter.

A few hours later, you were back on the road. The sun had just started to rise, casting a soft orange glow over the landscape. You sat in the back seat, your journal opened on your lap, a pencil in your hand. You leaned against the window, writing carefully as the truck bounced over the uneven road.

You wrote to your baby, your thoughts spilling onto the page.

“It’s been a long road so far. I hope one day you get to read this, to know that even before you were born, you were loved. Tess… she would have liked you, I think. I wish she could be here, but I promise you this: Joel and I will do everything to keep you safe. I know it’s not the world I wanted for you, but it’s the one we’ve got, and we’ll make the best of it.”

You paused, glancing up as you heard Ellie’s voice from the front seat. She was perched in the passenger seat, her feet up on the dashboard, and she was peppering Joel with questions — as usual.

“So, Joel,” Ellie asked, her curiosity unbridled. “You ever have a pet?”

Joel shot her a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road. "Nope," he replied gruffly.

“Really? Not even a goldfish?” Ellie pressed, leaning in closer with a grin.

Joel huffed, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Not even a goldfish," he confirmed.

Ellie rolled her eyes dramatically. "Well, that's sad. Everyone needs a pet. I used to have a stuffed bear… I named it Captain."

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Captain? What kind of adventures did Captain go on?"

Ellie’s face lit up. "Oh, you know, saving the world, defeating the evil cat empire… normal bear stuff."

You couldn't help but smile as you listened, their banter a small bright spot in an otherwise harsh world. You looked back down at your journal and continued writing.

“And Ellie… she’s something special. Smart, tough, got a mouth on her, but she’s got a good heart. She keeps things… lighter. Reminds us why we keep going, even when it feels like the worlds against us.”

Ellie’s voice cut through your thoughts again, her tone curious. “Joel, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

Joel shifted in his seat, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Crazy, huh? Well… probably sticking around to watch you try to figure out a joke for three hours.”

Ellie laughed, a bright, infectious sound. “Hey, that was a good joke! You just didn’t get it.”

“Maybe,” Joel replied, his eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror, catching yours for a brief moment. His expression softened, a silent reassurance passing between you.

You closed your journal, tucked it back into your pack, and leaned back in your seat, feeling a little lighter. Despite everything, there was hope in these small moments.

The truck came to a sudden halt, jolting you forward in your seat. You looked up, startled, as Joel’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched. The road ahead was a mess — cars scattered everywhere, some piled on top of one another, blocking the path completely. The remnants of a long-ago traffic jam, abandoned when the world went to hell.

Joel muttered a curse under his breath and cut the engine, the truck rumbling to a stop. He glanced back at you and Ellie, his expression tense. "Stay inside," he ordered firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Without another word, he pushed open the door and stepped out, his rifle slung over his shoulder. You watched him carefully as he moved towards the edge of the road, scanning the area, his eyes sharp and wary. The wind rustled through the trees, the only sound breaking the stillness around you.

Ellie leaned forward, her hands gripping the dashboard. “What’s going on?” she whispered, her voice low.

“Road’s blocked,” you replied softly, your eyes not leaving Joel as he stepped closer to the cars, looking for a way through. “He’s just checking if it’s safe.”

Ellie’s brow furrowed, her fingers tapping nervously. “Yeah, but what if it’s not?”

You didn’t answer immediately, your stomach tightening with a familiar knot of anxiety. You hated moments like this — the uncertainty, the vulnerability. “We wait,” you finally said, though your voice was tinged with the same concern.

Joel moved carefully, his eyes sweeping over the surrounding area, every sense alert. He disappeared around the side of a truck for a moment, and you felt your heart rate quicken, every nerve on edge. You leaned forward, trying to keep your gaze on him through the windshield.

After a few tense moments, Joel reappeared, his face set in a grim expression. He looked back towards the truck, his gaze locking with yours. He shook his head slightly, signaling for you both to stay put.

He approached the edge of the road, where a gap between two cars revealed a narrow path leading into the woods. His posture was tense, his rifle raised and ready. He paused, listening, and you could see his muscles coiled, ready for any sudden movement.

Ellie bit her lip, glancing at you. “Should we…?”

“No,” you cut her off gently but firmly. “If Joel says to stay, we stay.”

Seconds stretched into what felt like minutes, and your hand found its way to your belly, instinctively protective. The air felt heavy, thick with anticipation. Then, a distant sound — a faint rustling from the trees, maybe an animal, or something else. Joel stiffened, his head turning towards the noise.

He moved further down the line of cars, his rifle up, every step deliberate and cautious. You held your breath, your fingers gripping the edge of the seat, silently willing him to be okay.

Ellie shifted beside you, restless. “I hate this waiting,” she muttered under her breath, her eyes darting to the window.

You couldn’t help but agree, the silence growing louder with every passing second.

You glanced at Ellie, then at Joel, who was still moving cautiously among the wreckage. Your instinct to help was overpowering, and you made a decision.

"I'm going out," you said, your voice firm despite the trembling of your hands.

Ellie’s eyes widened. "Are you sure? Joel told us to stay—"

"I know what he said," you interrupted gently but resolutely. "But I can’t just sit here while he’s out there alone. Stay inside and keep the door locked."

Without waiting for a response, you grabbed your gun from its place in the truck and slung your arrow bow over your shoulder. The weight of the weapons felt reassuring for a moment.

You stepped out of the truck, the cool air hitting your face as you scanned the area. The sight of Joel moving between the cars, his rifle up and ready, filled you with a mix of anxiety and determination. You approached him, keeping your movements deliberate and steady.

Joel turned sharply as he heard you approach, his expression a mixture of surprise and concern. “What the hell are you doing out here?” he snapped, though his voice carried a note of relief.

“I couldn’t stay in the truck,” you replied, your voice steady. “Ellie’s inside, but I needed to be out here. Let’s see what’s going on.”

Joel’s eyes softened slightly, though his brow remained furrowed. “You shouldn’t be—”

“We don’t have time for that,” you cut him off, your tone leaving no room for argument. “I’m pregnant, not broken.”

Joel studied you for a moment, then nodded reluctantly. “Fine. Just stay close and stay sharp.”

You moved alongside him, your senses on high alert as you navigated through the maze of abandoned vehicles. The air was thick with the scent of decay and rust, the remnants of chaos that had long since passed.

“Looks like we’ve got a narrow path here,” Joel said, gesturing towards the gap between the cars. “We might be able to push through, but it’s risky. You see anything suspicious?”

You kept your gaze moving, scanning the area for any signs of danger. “No, but I don’t like how quiet it is,” you replied.

Joel nodded, his grip on his rifle tightening as he led the way. The two of you moved cautiously, Joel checking every corner and crevice, while you kept watch with your bow ready. The silence of the forest pressed in on you, making every sound feel amplified and ominous.

As you carefully made your way through the narrow path, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of adrenaline and focus. Despite the danger, there was a strange sense of purpose in being out here, working alongside Joel to tackle the challenges ahead.

“Be careful,” Joel said quietly as you approached the end of the blockage. “We don’t know what’s beyond this.”

You gave a quick nod, your eyes scanning the area beyond the obstruction. The path led into the dense woods, a faint trail barely visible through the underbrush.

“I’ll go first,” you said, taking a step forward. “Stay close.”

Joel followed close behind, his eyes constantly scanning the surroundings. The two of you moved with practiced efficiency, navigating the difficult terrain with careful steps.

Once you reached a safer spot, you looked back at Joel. “We should make sure Ellie stays safe in the truck while we scout the area.”

Joel nodded in agreement. “Alright. Let’s head back and check on her.”

You made your way back to the truck, your senses still on high alert. As you reached the vehicle, Ellie looked up with a mix of concern and relief.

“Everything okay?” she asked, her voice edged with worry.

“Yeah, for now,” Joel replied, his gaze shifting back to you.

“We’ve got a way forward, but it’s going to be tricky. We need to keep moving.”

Just as you were about to get back inside the truck, a sudden, sharp crack split the air. The sound was immediately followed by a searing pain in your shoulder, knocking you back against the side of the truck.

“Shit!” Joel’s voice was a mix of shock and urgency as he turned, diving towards you. He pulled you away from the truck and crouched beside you, his face a mask of fear and determination. “Are you alright? Where were you hit?”

You winced, trying to focus through the pain. “Shoulder,” you gasped, your breath coming in short, painful bursts. “I—”

Another shot rang out, the bullet whizzing past dangerously close. Joel threw himself over you, pulling you closer to the truck. “Ellie, get down!” he shouted.

Ellie’s panicked eyes darted around as she scrambled to find cover inside the truck. “What the hell is going on?” she yelled, her voice trembling with fear.

Joel’s hands were already working to assess your injury, his movements quick and practiced. “You stay put,” he ordered, though his voice was gentler than the command. He ripped a strip from his shirt, pressing it against your shoulder to staunch the bleeding. “Ellie, stay inside and stay quiet. We need to figure out where those shots are coming from.”

You gritted your teeth against the pain, trying to keep calm. “Joel, we need to—”

“Not now,” Joel interrupted, his voice low but firm.

He moved with purpose, taking cover behind the truck and advancing toward the trees. You could hear the muffled sounds of gunfire as he engaged the unknown threat, each shot echoing through the woods. Your breaths came ragged, the pain in your shoulder a constant, throbbing reminder of the danger you were in.

Ellie peered out from the truck, her face pale with fear. “Is Joel gonna be, okay?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ignoring the sharp pain in your shoulder, you struggled to get out of the truck. Ellie’s eyes widened in panic. “What are you doing? Stay inside!”

“I can’t just sit here,” you insisted through gritted teeth, moving carefully but determinedly towards the edge of the truck. “Joel needs help.”

Your movements were slow and pained, but adrenaline pushed you forward. You gripped your bow tightly, using it as a crutch to steady yourself. Every step felt like a battle, but you forced yourself to keep going, the need to help Joel outweighing the pain.

As you reached the cover of the trees, you saw Joel crouched behind a large trunk, his eyes scanning the area. He spotted you immediately, his expression shifting from concentration to alarm. “What the hell are you doing out here? Get back to the truck!”

“I’m not leaving you,” you said firmly, your voice carrying a blend of determination and desperation. “I can help.”

Joel’s gaze softened for a moment, but he didn’t waste time with arguments.

You took the gun, nodding as you aimed it towards the area where you had seen the movement. Your hands were unsteady, but you focused on the shadows darting through the trees. With Joel’s guidance, you managed to locate the attackers, your aim steadying as you fired a few shots, trying to provide cover for Joel.

The sounds of gunfire continued to echo through the woods, but gradually, the attackers’ shots grew less frequent. Joel’s movements were precise and calculated as he picked off the remaining threats. The tension in the air began to lift, the immediate danger subsiding.

When the firing finally ceased, Joel emerged from his cover, moving quickly back to your side. “You shouldn’t have come out here,” he said, his voice rough with both relief and frustration.

“I couldn’t just leave you to handle it alone,” you replied, your breath coming in ragged bursts. “How bad is it?”

As you caught your breath, Joel’s relief was short-lived. From the corner of your eye, you saw Ellie running towards you, her face a mask of fear and urgency.

“They’re coming back!” Ellie shouted, her voice trembling. “They took the truck!”

Joel’s eyes widened in shock, his expression hardening with determination. “Damn it. We need to move, now.”

You barely had time to process the information before the sounds of footsteps and shouts echoed through the trees, getting closer. Panic surged through you, but you forced yourself to stay focused. “The journal!” you cried out, the thought hitting you like a jolt.

“What?” Joel asked not even processing the moment you ran out of his sight.

You sprinted back towards the truck, the urgency in your steps driven by the desperate need to retrieve your journal. The pain in your shoulder was now a distant throb compared to the rising panic. As you neared the truck, you could see the man who had earlier hurt you rummaging through the cab, apparently searching for anything of value.

Your heart pounded as you reached the truck. The man’s back was turned, and you seized the opportunity to grab your journal. Your fingers closed around it, and you yanked it free from where it had fallen.

Just as you were about to turn and run, the man spun around, his eyes locking onto you with a menacing glare. “Hey!” he shouted, recognizing you. His hand reached for his weapon, but before he could aim it, you raised your own gun, your aim steady despite the adrenaline coursing through you.

“Stay back!” you commanded, your voice firm, though it trembled slightly with fear. The man hesitated; the tension palpable as he assessed the situation.

“You shouldn’t have come back,” he growled, his expression a mix of anger and surprise.

Without another word, he lunged towards you. Reacting instinctively, you fired a shot. The bullet struck him in the shoulder, causing him to stagger back, a pained cry escaping his lips. He dropped his weapon and clutched his shoulder, glaring at you with fury and frustration.

You didn’t wait to see his next move. Gripping the journal tightly, you dashed back towards the cover of the trees where Joel and Ellie were. The sound of gunfire and shouting had intensified, blending with the thumping of your heart.

When you rejoined Joel and Ellie, the fury in Joel’s eyes was palpable. His face was set in a hard line, his jaw clenched tightly. He glanced at you with a mix of anger and relief as you came back, clutching the journal to your chest.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Joel's voice was sharp, cutting through the chaos. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

You tried to catch your breath, the weight of his anger hitting you hard. “I—” you started, but the words were caught in your throat. You knew he was right, but the urgency of retrieving the journal had felt so immediate, so necessary.

Joel’s eyes softened slightly as he saw the journal in your hands. “Is that really worth risking your life for?” he demanded, his frustration evident.

“Yes,” you replied firmly, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and resolve.

Joel’s frustration boiled over. Without warning, he snatched the journal from your hands and threw it to the ground, the impact sending it skidding across the dirt. The sound of the journal hitting the ground was sharp, and you watched in shock as it lay there, dust and dirt mingling with the pages.

“Damn it!” Joel shouted, his voice echoing through the trees. “This isn’t worth risking your life over! Not like this!”

You stared at the journal, your heart sinking as you saw it lying there, a symbol of everything you had been trying to protect. “Joel, no!” you cried out, stepping forward to retrieve it.

Joel moved quickly to block you, his face a storm of emotion. “Just... stop,” he said, his voice strained. “We can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep risking everything for things that can be replaced.”

The raw emotion in his voice cut through you, and for a moment, you could see how deeply he was affected by the constant danger. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure as you looked at him. “It’s not just a journal,” you said softly.

You bent down slowly, picking up the journal with careful hands, brushing off the dirt. You looked at Joel, your eyes meeting his with hurt.

Joel’s jaw was clenched as he watched you carefully retrieve the journal. His frustration was palpable, and though he wanted to say more, the sight of your hurt expression made him falter. His gaze shifted to the journal on the ground, and then back to you, his anger still simmering beneath the surface.

Ellie stepped forward, her voice cutting through the tension with a mix of authority and concern. “Stop, Joel,” she said firmly. “She’s okay, right? That’s what matters now.”

Joel’s eyes softened as he looked at Ellie, his anger meeting the reality of the situation. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Yeah,” he muttered, his voice low. “I guess you’re right.”

You carefully brushed off the last of the dirt from the journal and looked up at Joel. “I understand why you’re angry,” you said quietly. “I really do. But this journal...You don’t get it” you said, walking past him towards the new direction.

The old building was a welcome refuge, its once-abandoned state now offering a semblance of safety from the dangers outside. Inside, you set up a makeshift camp, trying to focus on tasks that would help you ignore the pain and tension.

Ellie had been quietly assisting you with cleaning and bandaging your shoulder wound. Her hands were careful, though her gaze occasionally flicked towards Joel, who was sitting a few feet away, his expression a mixture of guilt and frustration.

After a few hours, Joel finally rose from his seat, his movements deliberate. “Ellie,” he said, his voice firm but softened with an edge of weariness. “I’ll take it from here.”

Ellie looked at him with a mix of surprise and relief. “Sure thing,” she said, standing up and giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll go check on our supplies.”

Joel moved closer; his eyes focused on your wound. “You doing okay?” he asked quietly, his hands steady as he started to clean the area with a fresh bandage and antiseptic. His touch was gentle, despite the roughness of his hands.

You looked at him, the silence between you feeling heavy. “I’m fine,” you replied, your voice quiet.

Joel’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, the frustration and anger seemed to dissolve, replaced by a deep, aching concern. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I just… I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

You sighed, letting your gaze drop as you felt his hands working on your shoulder. “I understand,” you said softly.

Joel's hands paused momentarily, his voice carrying a hint of desperation. "No, don't give me that tone," he pleaded, his eyes searching yours for any sign of understanding.

You looked up, meeting his gaze with a mix of weariness and compassion. "I'm not trying to give you a hard time," you said quietly. "I know you’re scared. We all are. It’s just sometimes it feels like we’re caught in this endless cycle.”

Joel's expression softened, his fingers resuming their careful work. "I know," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t mean to take it out on you. It’s just... hard, you know? Seeing you get hurt, and having to face the fact that I can’t always protect you."

You sighed, wincing slightly as he adjusted the bandage. "We’re all just trying to survive. We’re all scared and doing the best we can."

Joel nodded, his eyes still fixed on your wound as he finished wrapping it, and placing a kiss over the bandage.

Joel finished wrapping the bandage and leaned in to place a tender kiss over the newly covered wound. The gesture was both soothing and deeply personal, a silent promise of his care and commitment.

You looked at him, feeling the warmth of his touch linger even as he pulled back. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your voice filled with gratitude.

Joel’s eyes met yours, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier,” he said quietly. “I was just... scared. Scared of losing you.”

Joel nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before he looked back up at you. “I just wish I could make it all easier,” he said, his voice carrying a note of frustration.

You took a deep breath, deciding to share something important. “The journal,” you began, “it wasn’t just any journal. It was from my sister. She… she gave it to me before everything went wrong. It’s all I have left of her. That’s why it means so much.”

He glanced at the torn pages. “I didn’t realize it meant so much to you,” he admitted, guilt heavy in his voice. “I didn’t mean to… to break it.”

You took a deep breath, finally looking up at him, tears in your eyes. “It was my sister’s,” you explained softly, your voice breaking. “We got separated when everything went to hell, and I never… I never found her again.”

Joel’s face softened, his eyes filling with a deep, aching sadness. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“I’ve been writing in it,” you continued, your voice trembling, “like I was talking to her. Telling her what’s been happening, telling her about… about you, and Ellie… and the baby. I wanted to believe that maybe, somehow, she’d find it someday, and know that I never stopped looking for her, that I never gave up.”

Joel’s expression crumbled with understanding and regret. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, his hand finally settling on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “I didn’t know. I never would’ve…”

“I know,” you replied, wiping a tear from your cheek.

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, a mixture of surprise and understanding crossing his face. “I didn’t know,” he said quietly.

You nodded, feeling a bit of relief in having shared the significance of the journal. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” He said, “You helped me so much when I told you about Sarah,” he said, his voice catching slightly. “I should’ve understood why this means so much to you. I’m sorry.”

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his. “We’re all dealing with our own pain and loss,” you said softly. “It’s okay. We just have to keep supporting each other.”

Joel’s eyes met yours, a glimmer of appreciation in his gaze.

As you spoke, a sudden, low growl interrupted the moment. Both you and Joel looked down to see your stomach growling audibly, the sound breaking the tension between you.

Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, and then a chuckle escaped him, his earlier frustration momentarily forgotten. “Well, someone’s hungry,” he said, his tone lightening.

You felt a flush of embarrassment, but the sound of his laughter was a welcome relief. “I guess this one is hungrier than me.” You say.

Joel’s laughter deepened at your comment, and he shook his head with a fond smile. “Guess we’ve got a hungry little one in there,” he said, his tone softening. “We should definitely get some food in you.”

Ellie, catching on to the lighter mood, chimed in with a grin. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll help,” she offered, heading towards the supplies.

“I think we’ve got some dried fruit left… maybe a bit of jerky.”

You chuckled quietly, shaking your head. “Anything will do,” you assured him. “I’m not exactly craving a five-star meal here.”

Joel nodded, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. “Sit tight, I’ll get somethin’,” he said, moving toward the pack he’d dropped by the door.

As he rummaged through the bag, you took a moment to study him—his face lined with worry, his movements still a bit stiff.

He returned with a small handful of dried fruit and a bit of jerky, holding it out to you. “A feast for a queen,” he joked softly, though his eyes were still serious.

You took the food with a grateful smile, feeling a wave of love wash over you. “Thanks, Joel,” you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. He nodded, his thumb brushing against your hand as he handed over the food.

“Just tryin’ to take care of you,” he murmured. “Both of you.”

You smiled softly, a hint of warmth blooming in your chest despite the cold reality of the world outside. "I know," you whispered back. “And you are, Joel. More than you know.”

"Oh, I forgot," Joel said suddenly, turning back toward his bag. You watched as he rummaged around, pushing aside supplies until he seemed to find what he was looking for. He straightened up, a small smile playing on his lips as he held out a slightly crumpled chocolate bar. "Got this at Frank's house," he explained, his eyes twinkling a little.

Your eyes widened in surprise and delight as you took the chocolate bar from his hand. "Seriously?" you asked, a grin spreading across your face. "You’ve been holding out on me?”

Joel chuckled softly. “Just savin’ it for when we needed it most,” he replied, his tone light. “Figured it might come in handy, and I guess now’s as good a time as any.”

You looked down at the bar, your heart swelling at the thoughtfulness behind such a small gesture. Chocolate had become such a rarity—a luxury, even—that you hadn’t even thought of it in ages. "This is… thank you, Joel," you said softly, your fingers tracing the edge of the wrapper. “You have no idea how much this means.”

Joel gave a small shrug, but you could see the hint of satisfaction in his expression. “Just want you to have a little bit of comfort,” he murmured, his hand brushing your arm briefly. "You deserve it."

You felt a lump form in your throat, a mix of gratitude and affection. “You’re sweet, you know that?” you said with a playful smile, tearing open the wrapper.

He chuckled, his lips curling into a small, sheepish grin. “Don’t go spreading’ that around,” he muttered, his gaze softening as he watched you take a small bite.

You closed your eyes, savoring the taste, the rich, sweet flavor melting on your tongue. For a moment, the worries and fears faded away, replaced by a small, simple joy. “It’s perfect,” you whispered, opening your eyes to meet his.

Joel’s smile deepened, his hand settling on your shoulder as he leaned in a little closer. “Good,” he said softly. “You deserve perfect, even if it’s just a piece of chocolate.”

And for a moment, in that quiet, fragile space, it felt like everything might just be okay.

Joel’s gaze lingered on you, his eyes full of warmth and a hint of something more. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. The touch was soft, tender, and you could feel the weight of his affection and apology in that simple gesture.

As he pulled back slightly, his expression searching yours, you heard a muffled, teasing voice from the other side of the room. “Gross,” Ellie said, her tone a mix of mock disgust and amusement. You turned to see her peeking out from under her blanket, a smirk playing on her lips.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound breaking the tension in the room. “Sorry, Ellie,” you said, trying to keep your voice light. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “Just keep it PG, alright?” she said.

You reached into your bag and pulled out a piece of chocolate, offering it to Ellie with a playful grin. “Here, Ellie. Since you had to witness that, you deserve a treat too.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in mock surprise, and she grinned as she took the chocolate from your hand. “Thanks,” she said, unwrapping it with a bit of dramatic flair. “I guess I can’t complain about a bit of chocolate, even if it comes with a side of grossness.”

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head at the banter between you and Ellie. “You two are something else,” he said with a smile, his earlier tension seemingly melted away by the lighthearted moment.

As you settled back with your own piece of chocolate, you felt a sense of calm and contentment that had been missing for a while. The simple pleasure of sharing a moment like this with Joel and Ellie, amidst the chaos and danger, made the world seem a little brighter.

Ellie took a bite of her chocolate, and her expression softened with genuine appreciation. “This is really good,” she said, her voice carrying a note of surprise. “Thanks for sharing.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your gaze meeting Joel’s once more.

As the night settled in, the room grew quieter. You could feel the exhaustion from the day catching up to you, and you rubbed your shoulder, still feeling the dull ache from the earlier injury.

Ellie yawned and stretched, then looked over at the lumpy couch against the wall. “Hey,” she said, her tone light and playful. “The pregnant lady deserves the couch.”

You raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, so now you’re feeling all generous?” you teased.

Ellie grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I mean, yeah. But only because I don’t want to hear you complain all night about sleeping on the floor.”

Joel chuckled from where he was standing by the window, keeping watch. “She’s got a point,” he added, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

You shook your head, feeling a warmth in your chest despite the soreness in your shoulder. “Alright, fine,” you said, pretending to be reluctant. “I’ll take the couch, but only because you insist.”

Ellie smirked. “Yeah, yeah, take it before I change my mind.”

You moved over to the couch, sinking down onto it with a grateful sigh. The cushions were worn, and it wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was better than the hard floor. “Thanks, Ellie,” you said, your voice more sincere now.

She waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t mention it. Just don’t hog all the blankets.”

Joel came over and draped a blanket over you, his touch lingering for a moment. “Get some rest,” he murmured softly, his eyes meeting yours with that familiar, protective look. “I’ll keep watch for a while.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of the day settle in your bones. “Okay,” you whispered, pulling you whispered, pulling the blanket up around your shoulders.

Ellie flopped down onto the floor nearby, wrapping herself in her own blanket. “Goodnight, guys,” she mumbled, already sounding half-asleep.

“Goodnight, Ellie,” you replied, and then you turned to Joel. “And… thank you. For everything.”

Joel gave a small, almost shy smile. “Get some sleep,” he repeated, his voice softer this time.

A few hours later, the darkness of the room seemed to press in from all sides. The only sound was the soft, rhythmic breathing of Ellie, fast asleep nearby. You had drifted off into a restless slumber, the exhaustion of the day pulling you under.

But suddenly, you were jolted awake by a sharp, searing pain that shot through your stomach. Your eyes flew open, and you instinctively curled forward, your hand clutching at your abdomen. The pain was intense, radiating outward in waves, and it stole your breath, leaving you gasping in the quiet room.

You sat up abruptly, trying to steady your breathing. The room seemed to spin for a moment, and you felt a cold sweat break out across your skin. You gritted your teeth, pressing your hand firmly against your abdomen, as if that could somehow steady the panic coursing through you.

Joel, who had been keeping a watchful eye from across the room, noticed the change immediately. He was at your side in an instant, his face etched with concern. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?” he whispered urgently, his hands hovering near you, unsure of what to do.

You struggled to speak, your breath coming in short gasps. “I… I don’t know,” you managed to say, fear lacing your words. “It just… it hurts.”

His brow furrowed, and his hand moved to your shoulder, squeezing it gently but firmly. “Okay, try to breathe through it,” he murmured, his voice steady, though his eyes betrayed his worry. “It might just be… the stress or the baby kicking. We’ve been through a lot today.”

You nodded, closing your eyes for a moment, focusing on the rhythm of your breath. The pain had subsided slightly, but a nagging fear still clawed at the edges of your mind. “What if something’s wrong?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Joel’s grip tightened, his voice firm yet soothing. “Nothing’s wrong,” he insisted, his tone filled with determination. “We’re gonna get through this, okay? Just breathe… focus on me.”

You looked up at him, his steady gaze anchoring you as another twinge of pain rippled through your stomach, less intense this time. You forced yourself to nod, trying to push the fear down. “Okay,” you whispered, trying to trust his words, even as the anxiety lingered.

Joel continued to hold your gaze, his thumb gently brushing over your shoulder. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” he promised quietly. “Or the baby.”

You nodded again, trying to let his reassurance wash over you, even as a lingering dread whispered at the back of your mind.

But then, just as you began to feel the fear subside, a distant sound broke the stillness — a soft, almost inaudible creak coming from outside. Joel's eyes snapped toward the door, his expression instantly shifting to one of alertness.

He looked back at you, his eyes narrowed with concern. “Stay here,” he whispered, reaching for his gun. "Something's out there."

You held your breath, every nerve in your body suddenly on edge as you watched him move toward the door, the darkness outside seeming to press in, waiting.

And in that suspended moment, you felt it — the unmistakable sensation that something, or someone, was coming.

"Hey, little one,"

"I don’t know if you can feel it yet, but I hope you’re okay in there. I felt a pain that scared me more than anything has in a long time. Maybe it was just the stress, or maybe it was you letting me know you’re still there, and making your presence known.

I wish I could tell you everything is fine, that we’re safe, and there’s nothing to worry about. But the truth is, it’s hard out here. Harder than I ever imagined. Every day is a fight, a struggle to keep moving, to keep believing that there’s something better on the other side of all this. And some days, I wonder if I’m strong enough to do it — to keep us both safe, to bring you into a world like this."

"But then… I think of you. I think of holding you in my arms for the first time, feeling your heartbeat against mine, and suddenly, I know I have to keep going. For you."

"I’ve made some mistakes — like going after this journal, even when it wasn’t safe. I’m sure Joel would say it wasn’t worth it, but I need you to understand… this is all I have left of my sister. She was strong, like I want you to be. And she would’ve loved you, just like I already do."

"I don’t know what the future holds, but I promise you this: I’ll do everything I can to give you a chance. To give us both a chance. I won’t let fear win. I won’t let the darkness take that from us."

"So stay with me, little one. Hold on, just like I’m holding on to you. We’re in this together."

Always. “

Tags: @jasminedragoon @orcasoul @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa @eleganthottubfun @lumpypoll @cuteanimalmama @thespookywookies @goodvibesonly421 @karaslqve @greenwitchfromthewoods

[gurugirl]

The Handyman | a check-in*

Summary: You and Harry throw a housewarming party and your ex shows up with some advice for whoever built the kitchen counter. Harry makes sure to prove to you how well-built his countertops really are.

A/N: Based on this idea! Previously posted on Patreon. Read the original one shot here.

Word Count: 3,613

Warning: smut, the tiniest touch of jealousy/possessiveness

❊❊❊

You hadn’t intended for your little housewarming party to turn into a whole thing. Harry said he’d help you invite people from town, a way to make more friends and get to know some of the locals a bit better. But then when your dad told your cousin that you were throwing a small party she let it slip to someone from your past. Van, your ex. She apologized, saying she didn’t think he’d be interested until he asked for more details. But you weren’t going to be rude and uninvite anyone because the house was big enough for everyone. And you did say “open invitation” after all.

“Y/n, it’s so nice to see you again,” Van pulled you in for a hug when he arrived. You put on your nicest smile and attempted to act happy to see him. And it wasn’t that you disliked the guy but the awkwardness of dealing with an ex you hadn’t seen in a while was a bit daunting.

“Oh my gosh. You too! I’m surprised to see you here. All the way out in the middle of nowhere!” It truly was a surprise. It was an hour’s drive from the city to get to your house. And even though your cousin told you she told him and he seemed interested, you half expected he wouldn’t show up.

You made small talk with him before excusing yourself to go to the kitchen except he followed you.

“This house really does look nice, Y/n. Did you have help with all this?”

“Thank you. And yes. I had someone help with everything. Harry’s been so amazing. Listened to what I wanted but he already had his own ideas which I loved so much. Kept almost everything original.”

Van ran his palm along the butcher block island and ducked down to check the construction of the cabinets beneath, “Who’s Harry?”

“Harry owns a small company doing all kinds of work for people in town. He helped me restore the whole place and landscape. I mean, he basically did all the work but… yeah. He’s also my boyfriend.”

Van raised a brow at you, “Boyfriend huh?”

“Yep. Boyfriend. He’s actually here somewhere.”

He nodded as he inspected the window over the sink, “Not sure if you remember or not but I became an architect. Wish you’d have called me. I could have really done this place justice. Sort of feels like some of this could have been upgraded.”

“Oh? Like what?”

You caught Harry’s eye when he stood at the entry between the kitchen and the dining room as he spoke to a few people he knew.

“Well this window for example,” Van pointed, “I would have pushed this whole wall out, made a breakfast nook over the patio since there’s so much space at the front. Could have put in built-in bench seating and it would have given you so much more light in the kitchen and increased the value of the property.”

“I mean that sounds really nice but I wanted it to be original. Expanding the walls and windows like that sounds like too much. And I’m not planning on selling it so increasing the value doesn’t appeal to me.”

“I just hope he knew what he was doing. If someone’s not quite qualified you could have shoddy workmanship that shows later. Like all the cabinets and these new countertops,” he knocked on the surface, “might look fine now but give them a year and you’ll see if it’s up to par.”

Suddenly Harry was wrapping his arms around your front and kissing your neck as Van was then suggesting a rebuild of the staircase to expand the width. You placed your hands over Harry’s forearms and grinned at the feel of his lips on your skin. His distraction had almost made you forget that Van was still talking until he slowly got quieter as he looked between you and Harry and realized you were no longer listening.

Harry kept his eyes on Van as he pressed warm kisses to your neck. It was a signal to Van. You were taken and you were happy and Harry wasn’t some pushover. You were his girl and he was letting Van know.

“This the ex you were telling me about,” he whispered into your ear so Van wouldn’t hear it.

You nodded and giggled, turning to look at Harry when Van cleared his throat.

Harry stood up straight and put his hands on your shoulders, “Sorry to interrupt like that. I’m Harry, Y/n’s boyfriend. You are?”

“Oh, I’m an old friend. I’m Van,” he put his hand out to shake and Harry wrapped his big palm around Van’s with a nod.

“Nice to meet you, Van. Now, what were you suggesting I do differently?”

Van’s eyes widened slightly, “Oh… I wasn’t saying you should do anything different… it’s just that there were some ideas…”

You were no longer interested in what Van had to say at all when you felt Harry’s hand slide down to your hip. It felt like a possessive move. You’d never known Harry to be jealous or anything but that whole exchange had you seeing a bit of a different side of him.

“Definitely some good ideas, Van. But we’re happy with keeping things original. Feel free to have a look around at everything if you like. Only room off limits is our bedroom upstairs that’s locked, but otherwise, knock yourself out.”

Neither you nor Van missed Harry saying our bedroom upstairs.

“Okay. Well, thank you. Yeah, I mean I think you’ve done a great job here and…” Now Van was backtracking.

Harry nodded, “The most important thing is that Y/n is happy with how everything turned out and the quality of construction is the best,” he rapped his knuckles on the countertop, his brow raised at Van.

Van kept his distance until he left a couple of hours later, only hugging you quickly and telling you, once again, how nice it was to see you. You weren’t sure why he showed up in the first place. Maybe, being an architect, he was genuinely curious about the new house you bought and had help restoring. Or maybe he was hoping to rekindle something long gone but then was caught off guard by Harry.

“I can see why you love it here,” your cousin nudged your arm as she ogled Harry who was talking to a woman animatedly.

You laughed softly, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your boyfriend, obviously. Damn. Who knew small-town men looked like that? You’re living your Lifetime movie dreams babe. Old mansion, aunt’s inheritance, hot local who helped you fix the place up falls in love with you…”

You laughed through your nose and shook your head, “I’m not saying I’m not agreeing with you but… I would have stayed here with or without Harry. He’s just the cherry on top.”

“Oh, I bet he’s the cherry on top. So…” she looked around the space and then back at you, “He’s living here with you then?”

You nodded, “Yep. When we started dating it was just kind of the natural next step. I think my dad thought it was too fast but I didn’t want to be away from him at night anymore and he didn’t like it either. I suggested that he just stay and… well that’s really it. He’s here for good. Plus he put so much love into this house. It feels like it’s just as much as his as it is mine.”

You could admit, everything looked fantastic. Harry had made your home into something you could see yourself living in until you were old and grey. Something you were proud to show off to everyone. It was a labor of love, for both of you.

. . .

When everyone had gone, you were wiping up the countertop when your sponge was plucked from your hands and Harry pulled you back into his chest, “So Van thinks the construction of this counter isn’t well done?”

You turned in his arms and grinned up at him, “You know the construction is fine. It’s the best. Don’t worry about what he said. I don’t think he could tell from just looking anyway.”

“Did you like him a lot when you two dated?” Harry pushed you gently back toward the counter, your bottom hitting the edge.

“Why? You’re not jealous are you?”

Harry licked his lips and squeezed your hips before sliding his hands up to your waist and lifting you to sit on the smooth surface you’d just wiped down. You laughed and grasped onto his shoulders.

“Of course, I’m not jealous of Mr. Architect. But I do want to demonstrate how sturdy everything is. I’m not the type to cut corners, you know…” he dragged his big hands up your sides and one up your spine until his fingers found the back of your neck, collaring you with his big palm as he bumped his nose into yours.

You giggled and pushed your arms over his shoulders, “Seriously, Harry. I know how sturdy everything is. No need to prove anything to me.”

“Mmm… I know I don’t have to prove anything,” he smoothed his lips against yours gently, and slowly with the poke of the tip of his tongue at your plush lips igniting the furnace in your tummy that always simmered with need for him. But when he got like this… with his hands on your body and his mouth prodding at yours… the simmer turned into a boil.

You felt one of his hands travel down your hips and then to your thigh where he bunched the material of your skirt in his palm until he’d pushed the fabric out of his way and teased his finger up and down along the edge of your panties next to your crotch.

Spreading your legs for him you leaned back slightly and parted from the kiss with a laugh, “We gonna do this right here, Harry?”

He splayed both of his hands over your bare thighs and squeezed. His eyelids were heavy as he roved his pupils from where he was holding your plush thighs then up to your face, “Wanna?’

You couldn’t help but giggle again and bite your lip as you nodded.

“Mmhmm… Thought you’d want to. Given how wet your panties are right here,” he pressed his thumb over the crotch of your knickers, “Bet you need it more than I do, sweetheart.”

He smeared his thumb around the material of your sodden panties, wetting the pad of his digit before finding your clit and pressing into it. A breathy pant fell from your lips.

“What got you like this, Y/n? What happened, sweetheart?”

“Nothing, just you.”

“Me? Are you sure about that?”

“Always you, Harry.”

He grinned and pushed the fabric of your panties aside as he kept his soft green eyes on you, “What about me does this to you, hmm? You just like me so much that you start dripping?”

You felt your face heat up. Harry often liked to ask you questions that got you a little shy or embarrassed when you had to answer. And even though you should be used to it by now you still got a bit antsy. But fuck if you didn’t love it.

“Yeah. I really just like you so much…”

Harry’s grin never faltered as he kept his gaze pinned to yours and pressed his thumb at the entrance of your pussy, taunting it open until he had pushed it all the way in and you gasped. He began slipping it in and pulling it out, “I know you do. And I love how much you need me,” he continued fucking you with his thumb, “How your body reacts to me. Look at you, Y/n…” he dipped his gaze down to where he was thrusting his thumb into you, “Letting me fuck you with my thumb on the countertop I installed. Making a mess of my palm and I bet the quartz under your ass too. Almost shaking you need it so bad.”

You grunted and rolled your hips up against his thumb, pressing him in further and Harry groaned at your little pathetic wiggle.

Releasing one of your thighs he hooked a finger into the bottom hem of your blouse and pushed upward, “Arms up.”

Raising your arms overhead harry pulled the shirt from your torso and then pulled your bra down, exposing your tits one at a time until you were pouring out over the stretchy material. With his thumb still inside of you, he ducked down and wrapped his lips over your nipple, tongue first.

You moaned and closed your eyes when Harry moved to your other breast, pumping his thumb through your walls until it was all gushy sounding. He stood back, pulling his thumb from you and then bringing it up to his mouth, wrapping his lips around it to lick off every drop of you while his other hand worked at his button to get his pants undone.

There you sat at the edge of the counter with your legs spread and your wet pussy on display. Your panties were stretched to the side and out of the way but you could feel the elastic digging into the back of your thigh and your bum.

Harry pulled himself out of his pants, his gorgeous cock already at full mast and ready to split you in half. He cradled the underside of his shaft as he stepped in toward you and held your thigh in place as he smudged his tip into your labia, spreading your arousal through your crease. The dirty look on his face was heated, like he was about to overtake every part of you.

“Hold onto my back, sweetheart. Gonna fuck you on this well-made countertop now,” he smirked at you cheekily.

You would have laughed but you were already feeling his tip at your pulsing muscle and the anticipation of him stretching you open was making your head spin.

He rocked forward, his thick crown penetrating you and opening you up as he stuffed himself in. It took a few pumps of his cock in and out to burry into the hilt. He gasped when he felt your pussy devour him whole.

Your fingers clung to his back as he began to thrust, long and languid, wet and hot.

“Fucking hell… Got me so weak for you, sweetheart. So desperate to feel you around me all the time. Wanted to fuck you on this counter right in front of your ex-architect so he could see who’s fucking you these days, who’s treating you right…”

You moaned with every deep nudge of his cock through your wet channel. But when he ran his thumb over your clit you croaked out loudly, “Fuck! Yes…”

“See? Look how good I am to you… give you the best don’t I?”

You nodded, “The best, Harry…”

He crashed his lips to yours as he worked your cunt with his cock and his thumb and the languid thrusts turned into frantic jerking motions with his tip nudging into your guts, a hint of pain spreading through your insides at the way he bullied his thick length into you. He rocked his hips against you, the sound of smacking flesh and muffled moans between kisses filtered out through the open window onto your porch. Luckily you had no neighbors anywhere near so no one would know the kinds of things that went on in that old house every evening.

Your thighs were trembling with every swipe of his thumb at your clit and every dip of his cock through your insides.

“Gonna come for me already? Yeah? Fuck, baby…” he was swollen and leaking as he shoved into you. The feel of you wrapped tight around him was always heaven. His favorite.

You whined loudly, the build-up of your orgasm was unable to be stopped as you let him ravage your pussy however he liked. Pat-pat-pat… the sound of wet pussy getting fucked was a typical soundtrack in your house just about every night.

Harry ran a big paw over your tits and squeezed as he pounded into you. The counter under you never budging.

When your pussy began to squeeze and flutter and spasm and your mouth dropped open wide you let out a pitiful cry and dug your fingertips into the taut muscle of his back as you gushed on his big cock.

He only increased his pace as he fucked into you and watched your pretty face twist up in ecstasy. He loved watching you come. It only fed his ego to see such a pretty thing with your face all scrunched and lips curled and wet as you quivered in your orgasm.

He hissed to hold himself back as he felt your pussy slobbering arousal all over his dick. He’d have loved to unload his come right then but he wanted to force another orgasm from you before he allowed himself the satisfaction of coming yet.

When you felt him slow his thrusts you could hear him cooing at you, “Good girl. Fuck baby almost made me come you look so pretty like this.”

You lulled your head up to look at him and he smoothed his lips against yours as he stilled his hips, cock lodged deep inside of your tummy.

“Gonna have you bend over now, okay? Put your feet on this stool if you need it,” he dragged the stool next to his foot toward the counter for you. And with wobbly limbs, you adjusted your seating, turning over so your hips were face down against the counter top and Harry quickly placed his big palms on the round of your ass, pulling you apart so he could see your pussy and anus.

He inhaled sharply as he ran a finger through your folds and you jolted from being so sensitive, “Easy, sweetheart… This is gonna feel good once I get going. You ready?”

You nodded into the crook of your arm and let out a muffled yes as he nudged his cock against you again.

His fingers dug into the meaty soft part of your thighs before he split you open, burying in balls deep on first pass.

You grunted and braced yourself as he began to plunge through your insides, wet strokes of his long cock filling you and then pulling back to his tip on repeat.

“Ooh… shit, sweetheart. So fucking pretty…” he pulled at your ass cheeks and railed into you. You knew he was sweating already, he was giving it his all, using his strong muscles to fuck himself into you and panting breaths every time his balls smushed into your pussy.

You began to feel that fuzzy little prickle spread over your core with every stroke of his cock. The ridges of his bare dick always fit into your crevices and little spots like he was made to snug inside of you and get you off just like that. Your g-spot was never left unloved with the shape of Harry’s cock, his tip always dipping right into it with every pass.

He began to grunt with every glide of his hips, his cock being massaged by your warm walls making his balls tighten and his heart pound the closer he got to his end.

The sight of your pussy sucking him in, lips wrapped around his thick shaft and leaving creamy arousal along his length was just as hot as the way you felt encasing him. But of course, there was the scent and the sound as well. It was lewd. All his senses were burning and singing as he fucked into you.

“Ahh!” You moaned and began to push back against his thrusts, desperate for your next orgasm as it was approaching fast.

Arousal dripped down your inner thighs as he rutted into you, his pace growing sloppy and erratic as he could tell you were about to come.

And the moment you gurgled a wet moan and he could feel you clamping down he gasped and gripped onto your hips, moving you over his cock like you were a toy to fuck, he pulled your ass against his hips and then upward along his cock before slamming you against him again, smearing your pussy juice on the countertop as he did so. You cried out and convulsed around him as Harry finally pumped into you, pulling you back against him until he was stuffed into you as deep as he could reach and released every drop of himself into you.

He groaned as he came into your warm, cozy pussy, pumping strings of his come through your slimy arousal-coated cunt.

Harry made getting off easy. You’d never been one to come so fast or so easy but you were convinced his cock was shaped exactly like you needed. You reached back to take his hand as Harry leaned over your back and kissed your neck, “Pussy fucked and stuffed and countertop sturdy as a rock,” he laughed.

You giggled and arched your back to attempt to move yourself, the position was not the most comfortable after all.

Harry helped you down and held onto you so you wouldn’t fall and you both laughed again when you turned to face him, knowing you had mascara down your cheeks.

He cupped your face and grinned at you, “This is the best housewarming party I’ve ever been to.”

You pointed at the counter he’d just fucked you on and chuckled, “And that is the sturdiest kitchen counter anyone will ever see.”

Feedback/Thoughts | Ko-fi | Main Masterlist | Patreon

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like 💕

Tags: @yousunshineyoutempter @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swiftmendeshoran  @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince

@closureesny @angelbabyyy99 @damnasstyles @malwtilda @love-letters-to-uranus

@itjustkindahappenedreally @ssaama @onlyangellucifer @harryistheonlyoneforme @butdaddyilovehim-hs

@lc-fics @mema10 @hannahdressedasabanana @babegoalsreads @harrrrystylesslut

@elidoho @gotdrxnkonu @freedomfireflies @cathy-1997 @imgonnadreamaboutthewayyoutaaaa

@certainlysyko @tiredinwinter @princessaxoxo @angeldavis777 @kissfromadove

@lillefroe @monicaalexandraaa @hsonlyangelxo @brittanyzelazno @lemoncrushh

@golfrry @caynonmoondreams @danaehldy @babyyhoneyyy @mellamolayla

@ladscarlett @babyurthendofjune @heartateasee @littlenatilda @virgopr1ncess

[felassan]

The Art of Dragon Age: The Veilguard preview pages Part One, under a cut due to spoilers. Preview pages come from Google Books.

[Foreword]

[Part Two]

Life in the Tevinter Imperium.

Part One: Post-Inquisition

Top: Returning to Rivain with a precious quest object. Middle: Exploring Par Vollen, the home of the Qunari. Text: Halfway through the development of Dragon Age: Inquisition we created a series of illustrations we called “beat boards” (intended to cover a major moment or “beat”, they are more polished than a storyboard). They proved to be helpful as we brought the game together. As Inquisition was coming to a close, and a sliver of attention was being paid to the next game, we wanted to try doing beat boards right at the start of the game, rather than the middle. With a few general ideas like “We’re going north” and “Maybe there are Titans” and a sense of story momentum, we started creating exploratory beat boards, asking ourselves the simple question: “What would be cool?”

Top: On a secret mission in Tevinter. Bottom: Receiving an assignment from the Inquisitor

The Red Bride's grave.

Top: An old Warden that was avoiding the Calling. Bottom: The first attempt at designing Weisshaupt Fortress. Text: Northern Thedas - Designing the cultures of northern Thedas was like a fun speculative-archaeology project. We were starting with fragments. There were occasional props, characters, or journal entries that hinted at these cultures, and we had to reverse-engineer living, breathing societies from those fragments. The most important aspect was to design them in a way that respected our fans’ engagement with the material but also attempted to exceed their imaginations (or at least do them justice).

Top: In an ancient magical city, some buildings that would have collapsed centuries ago are kept frozen in time. Bottom: Infiltrating the Archon’s throne room.

Middle: One of the first ideas for a player base was a secret lair in Minrathous’s forgotten undercity. Bottom: The very first concept art of Minrathous. Trying to capture the elegance and pride of the Imperium.

Top: The Divine sends out ships to hunt Solas in the hopes that his capture will restore peace to Thedas. Bottom: A Tevinter magister, a Chasind witch, and a Ben-Hassrath commander plot against the player.

Top: A war room in the captain’s quarters. Bottom: We explored making the player base mobile. It would give us water access to most of the regions in northern Thedas.

Top: Early on we explored the return of the griffons – in this case, using them as mounts to hunt dragons. Bottom: Something in the depths has scared the dwarves enough that they’re fleeing to the surface by the thousands.

A coastal town in Rivain.

Top: Elves from all over Thedas answer a mysterious call to Arlathan Forest. Bottom: Exploring a possible endgame scenario where Solas has summoned a Titan in the middle of Minrathous.

Top: Solas returning like a regal figure out of the distant past. Bottom: What if we return to the Fade and rescue whoever was left behind? How would their time in that alien landscape change them, and what insights could they offer into Solas’s plans?

Top: The part runs into their Tevinter counterparts, and they have to work together to survive. Bottom: Solas interrupts your mission, wiping half your team off the board and forcing you to make an unlikely alliance.

Top: Your ship is stolen, and you have to sneak into enemy territory to get it back. Middle: Journey to the heart of darkness to find Colonel Kurts… er, Solas. Bottom: We created piles of sketches and line work to explore story beats. We could iterate quickly and throw things away if necessary.

Top: There are multiple factions in Veilguard. To make sure they were always recognizable, from their buildings to their belt buckles, we began with shape.   Middle: We had explored Tevinter’s shape language in Inquisition, so in their case, it was a matter of expanding on what was established. Some shapes just felt right (like Wardens and the pointed arch). Bottom: A residential Tevinter interior.

Various captions on this page: An upward-pointing triangle for the mages’ college. We explored some sturdy shapes for the dwarves. The Wardens’ pointed arch could be turned upside down into a shield. Rivain has a been a neutral faction, so the circle worked well. The Necropolis factions started with a half-circle “crest”. A downward-pointing triangle for Tevinter. Ben-Hassrath started with an X shape language.

[no captions]

A wealthy Tevinter mansion. To show off, most of the house is built on top of a floating stone slab veined with lyrium. Visitors try not to think about what would happen if the magic was interrupted.

Slice-of-life illustrations like this weren’t prescriptive, but they helped to explore the feel of certain regions we had only ever heard references to.

Rivain is a trade center. It’s one of the places where you’ll see the greatest overlap of cultures.

[no captions]

Tevinter is a complicated place. While there are lofty towers and powerful magisters, we also wanted to explore what the daily life of Tevinter might be.

Top: Peaceful beginnings, gentle giant gardeners, and curious spirits. Middle (1): The spirits saw the dwarves as they tended to the Titans, and they wanted to try making bodies for themselves. Middle (2): The spirits made physical bodies for themselves from the “flesh” of the Titans. The first elves were born, and the first war began. Bottom: A brutal war raged on between the elves and the Titans, only ending when one elf (Solas) rendered the Titans “tranquil”, capturing their souls.

Top: The elves brought a powerful war trophy home. Middle (1): With the Titans rendered tranquil, dwarves lost their connection to magic. They fled into the bodies of their fallen homes. Bottom: With the power that came from the captured Titan souls, the elves built the greatest empire Thedas would ever see.  

Top: Solas fought against the self-proclaimed gods, earning the title “the Dread Wolf”. Middle: The gods drew upon the power of the Titans’ souls to gain more power. The imprisoned souls became twisted with rage. This became the Blight. Bottom: To contain the Blight outbreak, Solas performed a desperate blood-magic ritual. He bound up the magic of the world behind a Veil and powered it with the blood of the evil gods. Text: Black Codex – There was a top-secret document on BioWare’s network that contained the objectively true history of Thedas called the Black Codex. Each culture had its perspective, its own emphasis and style, and over time more was added and taken away. It was decided to reveal a lot of truth in this game, so early on we wanted to illustrate the Black Codex. This would help to act as a visual guide to the events that formed Thedas as we know it.

Top: What remained of the elven empire collapsed. The early human empire of Tevinter discovered it in shambles. Bottom: Eons later, the Blight reached out to power-hungry Tevinter magisters through their dreams. They were lured to the Golden City, but the magisters found it already blackened by the Blight.

Various captions on this page: At this stage, just about anything goes. Writers and artists both have ideas for what kind of characters they’d like to try, so we dump them all out on the table. We created some comics to explore the tone of the story. Some of these characters were designed specifically for that purpose. The Heir of Andraste: Finding the last living descendant of Andraste, a rough-around-the-edges warrior living among the barbarians. The Gladiator: A Tevinter gladiator that has earned her freedom. Her arm’s protected by mail made of keys from all the slaves she has rescued. She wears her former shackles as rmor: a reminder and a threat.

Various captions on this page: The academic and the mage college scholar forced into the field. Initially we work from very simple premises, often only a couple of words, like “happy necromancer” or “Qunari assassin”. An awakened darkspawn mercenary. Text: Early on we thought about creating a new set of advisors for your ship. It’s satisfying to revisit characters from previous games, especially if time has passed. It’s a chance to try and make their story visible. In this case, we see a Morrigan that has embraced her new gift, who can offer insights into the mysteries of magic and the ancient elven world. This version of Dorian is like Mathis from Casino Royale, someone who can advise you through all the ins and outs of Tevinter culture. Smuggler Admiral Isabela can get you into and out of just about any port in Thedas.

[cluelessteam]

Whispers Through Time: {~A New Arrival~}

Summary: After being mysteriously transported into the world of House of the Dragon, a modern-day woman poses as a seer to gain entry into the Targaryen court. Armed with knowledge of the future, she secretly warns Rhaenyra and Daemon of looming dangers while hiding her true identity. As she grows closer to both, romantic tension builds, but so do the risks of her deception. With Daemon's suspicions rising and Rhaenyra’s trust deepening, the reader must navigate her lies while trying to alter their tragic fate—before everything unravels.

Characters: Rhaenyra & Daemon

Pairing: Rhaenyra x Fem!Reader x Daemon

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1293

Chapter 1 --- Chapter 2

The biting chill of the wind gnawed at your skin as you stumbled through an unfamiliar landscape, its vastness stretching out before you. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when the world around you had shifted, but the change was undeniable. Your memory still clung to the familiar buzz of the modern world—the sound of car engines, the hum of streetlights, and the constant tap of your shoes on concrete. But now, all that was gone, replaced by a stark silence that only heightened your disorientation. The horizon before you seemed endless, filled with tall hills covered in thick mist, and in the distance, a looming structure—a castle—stood proudly, its towers piercing the dreary sky.

This couldn’t be real. It felt too surreal, like a dream pulled from the pages of some historical fantasy novel. You had always been fascinated by the medieval period and Westeros in particular, but that fascination never prepared you for this. And yet, everything felt too vivid to be a dream—the sharpness of the cold, the heavy scent of damp earth, the distant call of gulls swooping down from the cliffs nearby.

Your breath caught in your throat, and a familiar panic began to rise. You could almost feel your heart pounding, each beat growing louder in your ears. Logic screamed that this couldn’t be happening. You were walking home after a long day, when—there! That light. The blinding flash that enveloped you and carried you here. You clenched your hands into fists, grounding yourself, and let the question form properly: Where am I?

Slowly, as you took in your surroundings, the faintest flicker of recognition sparked. That castle, those towers—it looked eerily familiar. The realization hit you hard, and your knees weakened. This was not just any castle, but one you had seen countless times in books, on screens. Westeros. You had somehow, impossibly, been transported to the world of the Targaryens, Velaryons, and the Seven Kingdoms.

"Gods…" you whispered, though you weren’t sure if you were calling to them or cursing them. How could this be possible?

Panic began to bubble up in your chest, but you bit it down. Now wasn’t the time to lose your head. Whatever force had brought you here, it clearly didn’t care about your confusion. You were stranded in a world you had no right to be in, with no clear path home. But you were nothing if not resourceful, and survival instinct kicked in fast. First things first: you needed a cover story.

You looked down at your clothing—your jacket, jeans, and shoes entirely inappropriate for this world. You’d stick out like a sore thumb if you didn’t do something, and quickly. And then, as if fate wanted to test you immediately, you noticed a figure making their way toward you—a villager, maybe, wrapped in furs, their weathered face twisted in confusion at the sight of you.

Without hesitation, you pulled the hood of your jacket up, hiding as much of your appearance as possible, and let an idea form. You needed to be someone important, someone with a skill that would grant you entry into the castle ahead. You thought of the people in this world—superstitious, often lacking in medical knowledge, and prone to reverence for those who claimed to possess sight beyond the ordinary.

A midwife. A seer.

That was the way in. You straightened up, quickly rehearsing a story in your head. You could remember enough of the history of this time—enough about the impending conflicts and players involved—to convince someone of your abilities. And if you could do that, you might just survive.

The villager had reached you by now, his eyes flicking over your strange attire, suspicion evident in his gaze.

"You… you lost, stranger?" His accent was thick, the words harsh against the wind. He looked you up and down, frowning deeper as he noticed your modern shoes.

Clearing your throat, you adopted the air of someone who belonged here, someone important. "I’ve come from far away," you began, your voice steady, "I am a midwife, and a gifted seer. I’ve been summoned—by fate itself—to serve the realm."

His eyes narrowed. "A seer, eh? And who exactly called ye?"

You squared your shoulders. "Not who. What." You let the pause linger, allowing the weight of your words to sink in. "There are things at play in this world that go beyond your understanding. I see them—glimpses of what’s to come. And I’ve come to ensure the safety of those in power, to warn them of the dangers that await if they do not heed my counsel."

The villager hesitated, doubt still clouding his expression, but he seemed unsure now, weighing your words. Superstition held great power in this world, and the idea of turning away someone who claimed to have foresight was a dangerous gamble. Finally, with a curt nod, he motioned to the road leading toward the castle. "You’ll want to speak to the men at the gates, then. They'll decide if yer needed."

You gave a small nod in return, keeping your expression controlled, though relief washed over you. You began to walk, your thoughts racing. You had taken the first step, but getting into the castle was just the beginning. Once there, you would need to convince people far more powerful and skeptical than a simple villager. Rhaenyra, Daemon, the Velaryons… the very people who would shape the future of Westeros.

As you approached the castle’s towering gates, the sheer size of the fortress became overwhelming. The walls stretched upward, casting long shadows over the ground. Your breath quickened as the guards came into view—men clad in armor, their hands resting on swords as they watched you approach. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself.

One of the guards stepped forward, his face stern beneath his helmet. "State your business," he demanded, his voice rough and authoritative.

"I am a midwife," you repeated, keeping your voice steady. "A seer. I have been sent here to serve the realm, to offer counsel to those in power." You met his gaze directly, hoping to convey confidence. "I see things—glimpses of what’s to come. And I know that there are dangers on the horizon. I must speak with those who rule, for their own safety."

The guard raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. "A seer, eh? You’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word at face value. We get all kinds at these gates."

You expected resistance, and you had your response ready. "I understand your doubt, but let me offer you this—" You leaned in slightly, lowering your voice. "There will be an attempt on the life of someone in power here soon. It will come from within, not without. If I am wrong, you may throw me to the wolves. But if I am right, you will have failed in your duty to protect this castle."

The guard’s expression faltered for just a moment, a flicker of uncertainty passing across his features. He glanced at his fellow guards, then back at you. Finally, with a curt nod, he stepped aside. "I’ll let the master-at-arms know. If you’re lucky, you’ll get your audience."

You stepped through the gates, your pulse quickening. Inside, the castle was a maze of stone corridors, each more imposing than the last. Servants moved quickly through the halls, and you kept your head down, trying to appear as if you belonged.

Your mind raced with the enormity of what lay ahead. You needed to get close to the right people—people who would believe your story. And the first name that came to mind was Rhaenyra Targaryen. The heir to the Iron Throne, a woman of strength and ambition. If you could win her trust, you’d have a chance.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics that feature badass Louis. If you enjoy our rec lists and want them to continue, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Bite | Mature | 10,980 words

Louis is a vampire hunter, and Harry is too happy being his prey.

2) Don't Call Me Angel | Mature | 16,648 words

Manhattan is a dangerous playground for the rich and entitled Alphas of New York. Those same wealthy Alphas are robbed after spending one night in the presence of a blue-eyed Omega and Officer Styles is assigned to the case.

3) Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool | Explicit | 18,705 words

“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to Harry's innuendo fire. “You know I only fuck you, not with you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.

4) Death Wish | Explicit | 22,067 words

Louis hates vampires, he lives his life trying to kill as many as he can, night after night, year after year. He hates them. Then why the fuck is he kissing one? Again. “I mean it, Harry.” Louis says, into his mouth this time. “You need to get the fuck away from me.”

5) The Games We Play | Explicit | 23,488 words

Louis is a political lobbyist who chose his career over his personal life a long time ago and has never regretted it. Then he met Harry.

6) The Voice Of Range And Ruin | Explicit | 25,470 words

It seemed as if the freshly formed Omega Uprising had always been a step or two ahead of the Commandant and the rest of the reigning Alphanian officials. The idea had been floated that there must be someone working with them from the inside, reporting back to them on the government’s plans so that they could be prepared. That person had yet to be discovered, and the Commandant and his surrounding forces had finally had enough of this game of cat and mouse. Harry understood. He agreed. It needed to come to an end, one way or another.  “Your job is to navigate their landscape and gain entry into their forces. You will pretend to be one of them and gain reliable intel for us. It’s clear that no one else has been capable of doing it, and you at least have some semblance of experience in this field. This has gone on for too long, Harry. Enough is enough.” He made direct eye contact with his son, holding it. “I’m counting on you.” 

7) Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent | Explicit | 28,832 words

Where Harry is leading an army to overthrow the king of Cheshire and Louis is one of the volunteers who joins them along the way.

8) You Fill My Lungs With Sweetness (Can I Be Close to You?) | Explicit | 29,884 words

Busy picturing Harry’s stupid face on the stupid dummy, Louis goes through a series of kicks before returning to a low guard and cycling through punches. Harry’s still talking, gesturing with his hands as he rounds Louis, standing to his back. “You do a few butt-shaping exercises, tighten this up a little bit,” he smacks Louis’ arse and the omega freezes while Harry cheerfully continues, “you could pull this off.” “You know what?” Louis snaps, lifting on his tiptoes to get the leverage so he can wrap his arm around the alpha’s neck, forcing him to bend in half while Louis locks him in a chokehold. “Pull this off,” he snarls. They stagger over a few steps, Louis gritting his teeth as Harry tries to break free. “Is it because Payne hates me?” he complains, voice edging on an annoyed whine, “Or is it, like, an omega thing?” Too late, Louis realizes that Harry has got a grip on his leg and this time as he pulls against Louis’ hold, it loosens, the alpha lifting him in the air before slamming his back into the mat, breaking Louis’ grip completely. Harry kneels on the mat, hovering over him with a sneer, “Don’t kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way.”

9) Just Let Me Adore You | Not Rated | 34,913 words

The one where Louis and Harry shouldn't make sense. Where Louis' past and Harry's present intermingle and no one is thinking straight.

10) Not Everything is So Primitive (Oh, but I’m Giving In) | Explicit | 35,809 words

“Okay, hold your bloody horses, I’m coming,” Niall rips open the door, freezing at the sight of Harry, bloody and disgruntled, standing on his doorstep, “What the hell happened to you?” “My husband,” Harry grumbles, pushing past Niall and walking into his entryway, “He tried to kill me,” Harry pauses, turning to Niall and grabbing his shoulders, “He tried to kill me with his fucking car.”

11) Burning Soul | Explicit | 39,513 words

Louis is a rogue Omega wolf, all he wants is a new start. Will he allow himself to fully embrace what awaits him, or will he run again, too damaged by past hurt?

12) Soaked In The Blood Of Angels | Explicit | 40,867 words

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape. Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago. This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

13) No Easy Choice, But You're Mine | Explicit | 45,603 words

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

14) Falling Without Caution | Explicit | 50,350 words

Louis Tomlinson, a wanted criminal, was captured by the FBI after years of chasing. Instead of being locked up in a high-security prison, he was offered a deal. What was supposed to be the end of a decade long chase turned into a morally grey circumstance for Agent Styles.

15) Let Your Damage, Damage Me | Explicit | 57077 words

A low and dangerous growl was ripped from the future King’s chest. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” the alpha snarled, eyes dark and nostrils flared. Even as anger rushed through him at the alpha’s brutish display, Louis felt breathless at the intense gaze of the man that was going to be his future mate. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to be under all that. He will be inside me, all muscles and rage.’ Louis felt his cheeks heat again, but refused to be cowed. So he put his best smirk on display, the one alphas despised to see, the one that assured them all he had the upper hand. “Thought you were expecting me, dear husband. I’m your future mate.”

16) Men of Steel, Men of Power | Explicit | 58,849 words

“You’ve been watching me,” Styles said. Louis swallowed around nothing. He tried for light. “You’re the newest addition, people are bound to be curious,” he said. “Sure,” said Styles, in a somewhat condescending tone. “I’m not that daft, I do notice the curiosity regarding my clothes. That’s not what you’re doing though, hm?” Styles’ gaze was intense, and Louis could feel it burn on the side of his face, but kept his eyes stubbornly on the coffee cup. “I,” he said, licked his lips. Took a deep breath, tried to look open, confident, dominant. Alpha.

17) Somethin' Bout You | Explicit | 59,855 words

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

18) The Face Of Love's Rage | Explicit | 67,421 words

“What if I tell you,” the princess said slowly, “I can get you five kingdoms and a lover?” Harry’s brows rose. “Only five?” he said mockingly. “And a lover. Don’t forget the lover.” “I have a lover.” “Do you?” the omega tilted her head, smiling, “I think right now, you have a consort, two friends, and a hostage. If you marry Julien, you will lose a friend and gain another hostage. Do you want him as a hostage or as a friend?” Harry’s temper was about to snap and break all hell loose. His hands itched to do something with the wild creature in front of him, with her untamed spirit that seemed to mock his authority and challenge his very presence. Abigail Tomlinson, with all her secrets and sins, defied not only his status, but everyone who dared to get in her way. Always making everyone aware that the only reason she was still there wasn’t because Harry let her, but because she wanted to be. Seven kingdoms, two sinners and one big secret.

19) Through Struggles, To The Stars | Explicit | 80,582 words

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what's right.

20) The Rose Of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,182 words

Jack the Ripper au - Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended... A darkness is brewing, and it's finally come to collect on the promise it was made.

21) Gloria Regali | Not Rated | 100,985 words

"I am very proud of you," Louis admitted, his eyes displaying his conviction, "you are very brave and ridiculously determined." Harry looked at him, as he shook his head, reaching out to his hand, he held it, "Trust me, it is not enough." "What makes you say that?" "Because if it was, you would have been married to me."

22) The Galaxy's Edge | Explicit | 113,921 words

In which Louis is a bounty hunter with a messed up past. Harry is a prince who just wants to prove himself. Niall and Zayn have too many things to figure out together. And Liam just wants to take care of his family. Things never quite go as they are planned during a simple rescue job.

23) Run Like the Devil | Explicit | 139,152 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry stops pouting, but his frown is still fixed in place. “Are you sure?” he asks. “You know it’s your soul you’re signing away.” He sounds…sad? No, that’s not right, but there’s something. Christ. This is the most incompetent demon Louis’ ever met. If he hadn’t seen the red of his eyes he wouldn’t believe he was a demon at all. How’d he get this job if he isn’t trying to convince Louis to deal? Or is it just another trick? A ploy for sympathy? “I’m sure,” Louis says. “Come over here and kiss me.”

24) Only You Can Be My Alpha | Mature | 212,387 words

In a world where one was either an Alpha or an Omega wolf, Louis found himself in a body that could be neither. Born an Omega without the expected characteristics of one, he felt broken, choosing to live as Alpha a lifestyle as he could. Harboring a serious lack of respect for Alphas and their authority complexes, Louis managed to get himself banished from his home, forced to wander the unforgiving woods for years, facing the elements and fighting enemy rogues each time they arose. Unbeknownst to Louis, in a tribe to the southwest of his home, there lived a dysfunctional Alpha, the orphaned pack leader Harry, who had never felt satisfied enough with anyone to settle down and continue his royal line. Living their lives apart thus far, the both of them assumed that they might be alone forever, making the best of things despite this even though it hurt. Chance, luck, or maybe fate brings Louis to this tribe when he’d least expected to receive kindness and shelter from a stranger, and when he arrives, something in his soul pulls him to Harry like a raging river current. The two don’t get off to a good start, but everyone around them can sense the chemistry—and in time they do too.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[sensualnoiree]

As we approach Wednesday, September 4th, 2024, the astrological landscape is marked by a profound shift in energy. Mars, the planet of action, assertion, and drive, forms a quincunx with Pluto, the planet of power, transformation, and the underworld. This quincunx aspect sets the stage for a day steeped in psychological tension, where the desire to act or assert oneself may clash with deeper, more subterranean forces of change and control. The quincunx, by its nature, asks us to reconcile energies that don’t easily see eye to eye, often manifesting as a need to adapt, adjust, or find a new perspective.

Later in the day, Mars leaves behind the communicative, quicksilver sign of Gemini and enters the sign of Cancer, where it is traditionally considered to be in its fall. Here, Mars’ fiery, forward-moving energy meets the watery, emotionally-driven terrain of Cancer. This transit marks a two-month period where our actions and desires are no longer purely logical or detached; instead, they are deeply intertwined with our emotional needs, our desire for security, and our instinct to protect what is dear to us.

Aries Rising

For Aries Rising, Mars’ shift into Cancer brings the focus squarely onto your home, family, and inner life. You may find yourself driven to protect and secure your domestic environment, yet the quincunx to Pluto suggests that this period might also unearth power struggles or deep-seated issues within your career or public life. The key here is to find a way to balance your outer ambitions with your inner needs, recognizing that true power often comes from emotional authenticity.

Taurus Rising

For Taurus Rising, Mars’ entry into your 3rd house turns your attention toward communication, siblings, and your immediate environment. Mars in Cancer here may manifest as a need to defend your ideas or protect your emotional boundaries in everyday interactions. However, the quincunx to Pluto indicates that there might be a deeper, underlying tension related to your beliefs, long-term goals, or philosophical outlook. This is a time to carefully consider how your everyday words and actions are aligned with your deeper truths.

Gemini Rising

For Gemini Rising, as Mars leaves your 1st house and enters your 2nd house of resources and values, the focus shifts from personal assertion to securing your material and emotional resources. The quincunx with Pluto in the 8th house suggests that this period might bring up issues related to shared resources, intimacy, or financial entanglements. The challenge lies in navigating these waters without becoming overly protective or reactive, finding ways to assert your values while honoring the complex dynamics of shared power.

Cancer Rising

For Cancer Rising, Mars’ entrance into your 1st house brings a surge of energy and assertiveness, yet it’s colored by the sensitivity and protectiveness of Cancer. You may feel a strong need to assert your identity or protect your personal space, but the quincunx to Pluto in the 7th house of relationships suggests that this period might also bring up power struggles or transformation in your close partnerships. The lesson here is to navigate these dynamics with emotional intelligence, recognizing when to stand your ground and when to allow for change.

Leo Rising

For Leo Rising, as Mars moves into your 12th house, the focus turns inward, bringing up themes of retreat, introspection, and perhaps confronting your own subconscious drives. The quincunx to Pluto in the 6th house suggests that there might be underlying tensions related to work, health, or daily routines that are calling for transformation. This is a time to be gentle with yourself, recognizing the power of rest and reflection in facilitating deeper change.

Virgo Rising

For Virgo Rising, Mars’ move into your 11th house brings a focus on your social circles, friendships, and long-term goals. You may feel a strong desire to protect your place within groups or to assert your ideas within a collective context. However, the quincunx to Pluto in the 5th house of creativity and personal joy suggests that there might be an underlying tension between your social obligations and your personal desires or creative expression. The challenge is to find a balance between these areas, recognizing that true fulfillment often requires both personal and collective engagement.

Libra Rising

For Libra Rising, Mars’ shift into your 10th house of career and public life brings a focus on your ambitions and how you assert yourself in the world. Yet, the quincunx to Pluto in your 4th house of home and family suggests that this period might also bring up power dynamics or deep transformations within your private life. The key is to navigate these energies with grace, finding ways to pursue your ambitions while also honoring the deeper emotional needs that arise from your roots.

Scorpio Rising

For Scorpio Rising, as Mars enters your 9th house, the focus shifts to your beliefs, higher education, and perhaps travel or spiritual pursuits. Mars in Cancer here may drive you to protect or assert your beliefs with a deep emotional intensity, but the quincunx to Pluto in your 3rd house suggests that this period might also bring up tensions in communication or your immediate environment. The challenge is to stay open to new perspectives while remaining true to your core beliefs.

Sagittarius Rising

For Sagittarius Rising, Mars’ move into your 8th house brings a focus on shared resources, intimacy, and the deeper layers of your psyche. Mars in Cancer here might manifest as a protective or defensive stance when it comes to what you share with others, but the quincunx to Pluto in the 2nd house suggests that there might be underlying tensions related to your personal values or financial security. The lesson here is to navigate these complexities with a balance of emotional depth and practical wisdom.

Capricorn Rising

For Capricorn Rising, Mars’ entry into your 7th house of relationships brings a focus on partnerships and how you assert yourself within them. Yet, the quincunx to Pluto in your 1st house suggests that this period might also bring up power dynamics or personal transformations that challenge how you relate to others. The key is to navigate these dynamics with both strength and sensitivity, recognizing that true power often lies in mutual respect and emotional honesty.

Aquarius Rising

For Aquarius Rising, Mars’ move into your 6th house of work, health, and daily routines brings a focus on how you assert yourself in these areas. Mars in Cancer here may drive you to protect your well-being or secure your work environment, but the quincunx to Pluto in your 12th house suggests that there might be hidden forces or subconscious patterns at play that need to be acknowledged. This is a time to be mindful of the deeper emotional currents that influence your daily life.

Pisces Rising

For Pisces Rising, Mars’ entry into your 5th house brings a focus on creativity, romance, and what brings you joy. Mars in Cancer here may manifest as a protective or nurturing approach to these areas, but the quincunx to Pluto in your 11th house suggests that there might be tensions between your personal joys and your social obligations. The challenge is to find a balance between following your heart and fulfilling your role within a larger collective.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)

[youareunbearable]

Its late and im tired so please excuse if this doesn't make sense but lately, I've been thinking about Angry Aredhel must have been

Like realistically, when has this woman made a single decision about her future for herself, and in the few times when she did, when did it not end in tragedy

She must have been so angry, so frustrated and wrathful at her lot in life. She was meant for other things, greater thing! She was a disciple of Orome, the Maiden in White, one of the best hunters in his group along with her cousin.

Yet here she is, caged and trapped like a pretty little canary in a wire house. Stolen from her purpose because of her eldest brother's blind loyalty, her father's stubborn pride, her second oldest brother's blinding grief, and her baby brother's terminal bravery. She's across an ocean, escaped one cage for another by her tormentor and abuser posing as a husband.

The bastard won't even name their child.

She must have be so angry, stuck in that endless darkness, the forest must be such a familiar landscape but so different, twisted and wrong like looking into a warped mirror.

Shes grieving outside her "home" one night, having managed to convince the trees to part their branches just enough that she can glimpse a star or two so she can bask in the starlight. Its been a year since the birth of her son, and nothing has changed. Eol won't look at the boy, and she can feel herself drifting. Without the ability to see the passage of time, without the Light of the Trees or with the Sun and Moon chasing each other across the sky, things are blending together and she feels adrift.

At least when they crossed they ice, they were able to watch the stars move across the endless dark.

The starlight warms her skin, as weak and distant as it is, so she basks. With her eyes closed and face tilted up she feels like a lizard in the mid day sun. Behind her, she hears a noise, a twig being deliberately stepped upon. Aredhel whips around, raising her glowing lichen lamp, wondering if its her husband or one of his servants come to take her back. She feels a little feral at the idea of being dragged away from the pitiful starlight.

A wolf, with a pelt as crisp and clean as the snow dusting Himring's mountain top, slinks into the soft glow. Its fur takes on an almost sickly colour in the green luminescence. The wolf settles at the edge of the light, resting on its haunches as it observes her.

Aredhel thinks she's beautiful, for it is a female wolf. Even in the weak lamplight the beast's silver eyes seem to glow on their own, piercing her very fea and enticing her to come forward, to come closer. There is a power within the she wolf, one Aredhel craves.

The white beast introduces herself as a member of Orome's hunt, and Aredhel believes it, for the she wolf looks like the perfect hunter. The wolf asks her what she, as a fellow hunter, is doing out so far away from her kin and cub.

Momentarily surprised by the ability to speak, for not even Huan can speak so freely, Aredhel responses. She shares her desire for light, her frustration with her "husband," and how she wants a different life for her son. She never wanted this, and she wishes she had the ability to take control of her own fate.

The wolf is sympathetic to her plights, and offers to help her free herself and her child.

"You do have the ability to change your own fate, young one. Asking for help is something no one else could have done for you."

So Aredhel leads the wolf back to Eol's house. They walk through the entry way, both hunters are silent as the dawn as they go. Aredhel heads towards the master bedroom, but hesitates at the door. She can see Eol on his side of their bed, snoring lightly as he does. She hesitates, seeing a vision of what will happen once he realizes she's gone. Fire, doom and death follows her, poison and a flash of fang would flicker in him before he strikes her down for disobedience, for stealing away the son he won't even name.

The wolf nudges her aside, ghosting past her into the room. Aredhel's throat closes up and she slinks away, heading towards Lomion's nursery. She leaves to go strap her sleeping infant son to her chest, then grabs some supplies from the kitchen in a bag. Not even hearing a mouse skittering in the walls, let alone her wolf companion, she steels her nerves to check the master bedroom one more time.

As she passes her bedroom, she can see through a crack in the door and her breath freezes. Standing over the now corpse of her husband, maw dripping red from the freshly torn out throat, the white wolf looms. Aredhel stares transfixed, she can almost taste the blood between her own teeth, feel the rush of the kill, ache of her gums as tendons and tissue would rub against them. The wolf turns to look at her, silver eyes wild, white fur stained with her kill. Aredhel feels the air return to her lungs, she feels lighter and free, a little giggle slips past her lips and the wolf peels back its lips and bares its dripping fangs in a smile.

Aredhel leaves the house, fleeing on foot and all the while she can hear the wolf following her, keeping pace and shadowing her in the darkness, and at some points, ahead of her, leading her out of the woods. Running like this, oh she hasn't done this in years!. The wind snapping at her hair, branches and leaves kissing her cheeks and arms, the rush of a completed hunt with another one ahead of her feels like her first real breath in a long time. It feels like days later, and seconds, heartbeats, when she can see the treeline, dawn's hazy reddish glow peaking through the trees.

Aredhel gives a joyful cry and runs faster. That laughter bubbling up inside of her finally bursts past her lips once she breaks the treeline. The sun on her skin is warm and bright and all she wants to do is laugh and cry and scream until her throat is raw and her tears run dry. But she has to keep moving, she has Lomion still with her, and she is too close to the woods to feel truly safe yet. She walks north, and east, not really knowing where she's heading but knowing that she'll cross into her cousins' land soon. As she walks, she soon realizes that she hasn't seen or heard from her she wolf in a while. Stopping, Aredhel turns to look back, but no where can she see that brilliant white coat, or any tracks that look like wolf paws. She squint, looking back at the distant treeline and sees nothing but shadow. She mourns for her companion, wishing she could have wished her well or at least thanked her for her help. She wonders if Orome set the wolf to free her, not wanting to see one of his hunters in chains.

Its about mid morning when she comes across some of her cousins men, and they're horrified. They ask if she's ok, of she's hurt, they take her to a nearby stream even though she insists she's fine, that she wants to see her cousins.

When she sees her reflection she's scared for a moment. All she can see it blood, dried and crusted down her throat, staining her lips and chin. There is red all along the collar of her white dress, her sleeves, but her hands are clean, and so is her son still asleep strapped across her chest. She looks into her reflection, not yet comprehending. Silver eyes that seem so familiar stare back above the red, above the proof of her freedom.

She bares her bloody teeth in smile.

[the-swift-escape]

A Fine Team

Part 1 of (N/A)

Summary: The reader and Loki are sent on a mission at an art gallery, their objective is to pose as husband and wife to gain entry into a hydra auction. The reader has been falling for their friend for some time now and doesn’t think that he could ever feel the same.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Author’s Note: I’m thinking of making this a multi-part fanfic, not sure how long but I have a few ideas for the plot. I’ve never written any fan fictions like this before and I’m mostly trying to get back into the groove of writing again.

Word Count: 3,422

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The art gallery is filled with a warm glow of light. The walls are paneled with a dark wood and the floor is a shining marble that echoes with each step of heeled feet. There’s low classical music playing but no one is dancing. The guests are either too occupied by the exhibition or conversation with their peers. If you didn’t know better you wouldn’t even suspect anything abnormal about this event. Just a bunch of old money socialites viewing art they’re hoping to bid for in the auction later tonight.

Unfortunately for you, this is a mission, not a social event. Loki is not your date, holding you close against him as you view a landscape piece. He’s not whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He’s observing the people around you, and he’s playing a part. He is your mission partner, not a lovesick newlywed. He is your friend, nothing more. When you think about the press of his hand against your lower back and his lips close to your ear, your heart clenches. It feels like the most exhilarating torture for him to be so close yet so far. He has no idea how hard it is to suppress the blush rising to your cheeks and you want to keep it that way so instead you watch an older man in a dark red suit jacket look at his watch.

“There he is, it’s almost time for the auction. Don’t lose sights,” you whisper, pulling your lips into a smile as you turn toward Loki.

“He couldn’t be more obvious if he tried,” Loki says while pushing a strand of hair behind your ear and your breath hitches and you pray he doesn’t notice.

“You guys are disgusting, I can’t believe I have to watch this,” Tony’s voice comes through your ear pieces.

Loki rolls his eyes, scoffing, “Would you rather me hold a knife to her throat, Stark? Would that be more in character?”

“For you? Absolutely,” Tony says pointedly.

You clear your throat.

“If you two are done having your dick measuring contest, the target’s moving,” You whisper harshly.

The man in the red suit goes to the back of the gallery and flashes his watch to a young bouncer. He looks at him with an over polite smile. He’s nervous, this must be the new kid that Hydra set to work this event. Fury was right, they didn’t see the avengers as a threat. To be fair, the intel was fresh and the event was just arranged a few days ago. They just hadn’t checked the museum staff for any spies yet.

Nat looks at you subtly from the bar as she abandons her spot behind the counter and heads toward the back room. Her hair is dyed a dark black and is swept into a braid. She has a completely different face, courtesy of stark industries, but she moves with the same practiced ease of Natasha. She touches the bouncer’s arm and lean towards him. His eyes go wide and he hastily steps aside and follows her past the velvet rope. When they turn the corner you hear a door close through her mic and then you hear a few grunts and you swear you hear a sharp cracking sound.

“You’re all good, auction is about to start,” Nat says her tone calm.

“You’re brillant, Nat,” You shake your head in awe and hold onto Loki’s arm.

His suit is a dark green. The material cool to touch and fitting across his arms. His dark hair is swept back into an elegant loose bun. His face is at ease and you feel your heart stutter as his green eyes sparkle with the chandelier light overhead. You’re wearing a long gown the same color as his suit, the neckline is revealing but not too revealing to warrant any unnecessary glances. The thin straps on your shoulders are beaded with gold and the details on your bodice are dripped in gold, to match his cufflinks. He insisted on your outfits matching perfectly. ‘To sell the illusion’, he said.

“You look lovely, my dear wife,” He says as you pass a small group of lower hydra operatives.

“I’d hope so, I picked it out just for you. Now that we’re married it doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to impress you,” You laugh airily as the two of you approach the now clear hallway.

You make a show of batting your eyes at the man beside you as a few of the operatives turn to look at the two of you. Loki wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close, giving you a featherlight kiss on your forehead. When you turn the corner down a darker hall you both stop and press your backs against the wall, waiting to hear footsteps. None follow and you relax against the wall and look over to see Loki looking at you with a wolfish grin.

“You play this part beautifully, darling.”

You roll your eyes at him, trying to hide the start of a smile on your lips.

“You can turn it down a notch, Loki, all these rooms are sound proof according to the blueprints we got from Fury. No one is here to hear your flirting-“

“Except for us, Reindeer Games, you’re making me sick over here,” Tony complains and you can’t help but laugh.

“Careful, Loki, y/n may have to kick your ass if you get too frisky. This is a mission after all, what would Fury say?”

Nat’s smirk is evident in her words. You wish you could stop the hope from rising in your chest when Loki doesn’t seem too interested in defending himself. But then it’s crushed just as fast and you see his smile drop and he raises one eyebrow.

“I’m not flirting, I’m staying in character. There’s a difference. I suppose that’s why I was chosen for this mission over you, Stark. I’m simply more professional.”

“Yeah that’s the reason, definitely not the fact that I’m an extremely famous billionaire, philanthropist and the owner of one of the tallest buildings in New York. Which just so happens to have my name on it. But you’re right, Rock of Ages-“

You hear a door open down the hall.

“Will you two shut up,” you hiss.

You look at your diamond encrusted watch. They must have just got done appraising the piece you’re here for. You see a supply closet out of the corner of your eye and grab Loki’s wrist and pull him silently into it, turning your ear piece on mute. The room is cramped, the space taken up by cleaning products and a rack of boxes and towels. You can’t help but press Loki against the door as you hold your hand over his mouth. Your heart is racing. It sounds like there’s about five men in the hall. Stopped right in front of the closet door. In the small glimpse of light peaking through the door from the hallway you see Loki’s eyes shut tightly, his eyebrows furrowed.

You listen in on their conversation but it’s mostly small talk. All they say that rouses any suspicion is that they’re meeting at a hotel a few months from now. As their steps echo down the hall they say their goodbyes. Hail Hydra.

You let your head fall against Loki’s chest and take your hand from his mouth. He reaches up to his ear as he breathes heavily.

“Darling, if you wanted to get me alone, I could’ve arranged that much earlier.”

His voice is as smooth as silk, if a little breathless. You try to chuckle but you feel like floating. Your skin pricks as you look up and realize how close the two of you are.

“If I wanted you alone, Laufeyson, it would have already happened,” You counter, trying to slip into your usual banter.

It’s harder when it’s like this. When it’s so close to the truth but it just isn’t. You want him, but you know there’s no way he’d have you.

Loki opens his mouth to reply, smirking, but he stops short. You’re close enough to hear the muffled noise from his ear piece and Loki clears his throat when you pull away to turn the volume up. You nod at him and he opens the door to the closet.

“Hello? Am I just talking to myself here?”

“No, Tony, sorry. Had to focus, heading to the auction room now,” You respond.

Loki offers his arm and you take it, avoiding his eyes in hopes of just appearing focused. The two of you reach the auction room and slip in unnoticed. You find the place marker with your aliases and your paddle number and take your seat in the back.

The auctioneer hasn’t gotten to your item yet but you pretend to be interested and whisper to each other when it’s time for Loki to put his paddle up. You bid low enough to lose but high enough to where you drive the price up on some of the smaller items. An hour or so passes with you and Loki waiting to see the painting you came here for. Every time he raised the paddle he’d steal a glance at you, pleased with how frustrated some of the older attendees sounded when they had to place a higher bid.

You couldn’t help but marvel at how far he’s come since the battle of New York. You were one of the only people that was able to connect the fact that Loki’s eyes were the same color as Clint’s when he was being mind controlled. Before Loki ever joined you’d brought it up multiple times but no one ever really took it seriously. After he arrived at the tower, and he opened up more, in his own ways he confirmed that your theory was correct. He hasn’t told anyone what happened that lead him to that point, though. Luckily, he’s adjusted pretty well and if some of the avengers still don’t like them- they have a begrudging respect for him. Loki and Bucky bonded and formed an interesting friendship, with what Loki has told you it seems that they’ve helped each other readjust to freedom in a way. Wanda has also helped Loki open up more, they tend to spend some time every few weeks training with their magic. Clint still keeps his distance but that’s not a scar that’s going to heal quickly, you don’t think.

Loki tears you from your thoughts, tapping the inside of your right wrist. He’s staring straight at the painting you’re here for. It’s a 1940s battlefield landscape. But you’re not here because of the art itself, you’re here for what’s sewn into the canvas. You know that Tony is listening in as the auctioneer announces the piece.

“Showtime, newly weds,” Tony comments.

According to Fury’s intel there’s a note with coordinates to a hidden hydra base that has been thought to be inactive since just after the war. There’s been whispers of a resurgence of the winter soldier program in a top secret location. This might be the key to finding the headquarters.

Loki waits for a few people to bid before placing his first one in. If you can get your hands on this painting it could completely destroy the last of the winter soldier program, if you don’t win then this mission will be a hell of a lot more difficult. He puts his paddle up again and rests his hand on your thigh, his fingers dipping just inside of the dress’ side slit. He keeps his face straight and you assume someone’s looking but you can’t take your eyes off his hand. Your breath is shallow but you try to focus, giving his hand a pat when you think he should bid.

The general protocol is that the highest bidders are given directions to a safe house where they can make the exchange. Hydra transports the item there in heavily guarded vehicles. Which the team will be tracking via the Quinjet. You feel your knives strapped to your thigh, all night you’ve been itching for a fight. Maybe it’s the pent up frustration from your ruse or just the fact that you’ve been surrounded by hydra agents all night. It feels like torture to blend in with them but it’s honestly not even close to being one of the most difficult missions you’ve gone on. It’s tame in comparison to most, little combat and little interaction with the enemy. The hardest part is keeping your heart in check when Loki’s touching you like that. You’re starting to realize how incredibly distracting it can be.

“Sold to number twenty-five!”

The auctioneer announces the winner and you realize it’s not you.

“Shit.”

“What’s up, (y/n)? Did you get it or not?” Tony pries.

“They cut the bidding short. Two men came in and delivered a note to the auctioneer,” Loki explains.

You didn’t even notice. How did that happen?

“It must’ve been rigged, get out of there, we’ll see you at the jet.”

You slip your hand into Loki’s, the cold of his fake wedding band nipping at your skin.

“Let’s go, honey. I have a little surprise for you back at home,” You tease seductively.

His green eyes cut to yours, you swear that for a moment there’s a flash of something there. You just can’t quite put a name to it. Loki’s tongue brushes over his lower lip, bringing your hand up. He leaves a lingering kiss on your matching ring. The look in his eye paired with the graze of his mouth on your skin sends a strike of electricity through your veins. He gets up, leading you to the door.

“Shall we?” He makes a show of letting you exit first after you exchange the customary hail hydras with the organizer and his bodyguards.

When you get into the hall the two of you pick up your pace.

“Now, what?” You hiss at Loki.

He grins mischievously.

“Now, darling, we have some fun.”

You can tell he’s thinking what you’ve been feeling, this has been too easy. Now, at least, it’s getting interesting. You really wish you had a body suit under this dress but maybe if you’re lucky you’ll be able to make it to the jet before you have to do any real damage. You get instruction from Tony to take a few turns down the hall to a back exit that leads to an alley closer to the meeting point.

The night air is breezy and goosebumps form on your arms. The stars are bright and the moon is little more than a sliver. Your heels echo softly on the pavement as you walk. Loki is close enough to where your hands brush once in a while as you walk. Each time it happens you feel yourself being pulled further into his orbit. There’s something magnetic about Loki, and most might say it’s because he’s a god or because he’s like a predator. Coaxing his prey into a false security, but you don’t see him that way. You see a man, a god, that has been through awful things. Like anyone else, he has struggled. He is hard to crack but when you’re able to see what’s underneath the calculating front he puts up, he’s not that different from the rest of the team.

“You did good in there, Laufeyson, I think you’re getting the hang of this whole avenger thing,” you bump his shoulder with yours, “who knows, maybe you’ve found your glorious purpose.”

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t think that the other avengers share that sentiment.”

Your chest pangs, because it’s true.

Then his face hardens, glancing back the way you came. You hear some low voices cutting through the night and before you can react, Loki is grabbing you by the waist. He’s spinning you around and the world is tilting on its axis. You close your eyes thinking something bad is about to happen.

Your back hits the wall and one of his hands is on your waist, the other supporting your head, guiding it to back gently. When you open your eyes he’s looking at you and he silently shushes you. Loki leans in close to you and his nose is brushing yours and his gaze drops to your lips. Your heart is pounding in your chest and your skin is tingling. He’s so close and his breath smells like whiskey. His cologne is coating the air between you and it smells like the forest and it’s warm and welcoming and it’s so hard to pretend like you’re not in love with him when he’s so close.

“You look truly divine,” He breathes.

“You don’t mean that,” You whisper back, shaking your head.

The footsteps are getting closer and closer and you screw your eyes shut. You have no idea what to do now that you’ve lost contact with the others and you can’t think straight. Loki always leaves your mind cloudy and usually it doesn’t effect your mission but you’ve never been in such a compromising position. He’s intoxicating and it takes all your willpower not to lean into him further. Not to press your lips to his or wrap your arms around his neck.

“Yes,” he leans a fraction closer, “I do.”

Then he’s pressing you further into the bricks and his fingers are brushing against your cheekbone. You open your eyes and he looks at you and his pupils are blown wide. Then he kisses you and it’s so soft. He’s kissing you like you’re going to disappear, like you’re made of glass. It’s fragile and you can tell he’s braced for rejection and even though you’re terrified that this is all for the mission somehow you melt into the kiss. A low noise is pulled from him as you slide your hands through his hair, it falls from its slicked back bun and the strands are falling against your cheek. The moment is everything you’ve ever dreamed it would be and still it’s so much better.

The whole world is slipping away and you ears are buzzing and you realize you need to breathe. You pull back, leaning your head back toward the cool night air and then his lips are on your neck and you feel weightless.

“Believe me, (y/n),” he whispers against your skin, his breath cool, “I could never lie to you.”

The sound of your name makes you whimper as his lips move further and further down. The footsteps are long gone, you realize. You should go, both of you should go meet the others at the rendezvous point. But you can’t move, it’s like you’re stuck to the spot and all you can focus on is this, this mischievous god against you and how his hands are chilling your skin and setting it on fire all at once. The way his tie has come slightly loose and how his cheeks are reddened. He’s disheveled and you never thought it would be for you, because of you.

“Loki-“ You choke out.

“(Y/n), come in. Can you hear us? Where are you, agent?” Steve’s voice breaks through the static in your ear piece.

Loki pulls back abruptly, the voice of your captain breaking through the moment. His eyes are wide as he looks at you and your heart sinks. He regrets it. You just lost your best friend. You sober up quickly and slip from Loki’s grasp and maneuver around him, looking down the alleyway.

“I hear you, Cap. We’re not too far from the museum, had to take a detour. On our way now.”

“We got eyes on the truck, good work you two, you make a fine team.”

You look at Loki for a second. You can’t read his expression as he straightens his tie and fixes his hair. He wipes his lips, erasing all the evidence of what happened just like that. As if it never happened, couldn’t happen. Not with you, at least. You sigh.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

In silence you head to the rendezvous point. The tension thick between you. Maybe all he’ll ever be is your partner. Maybe you were naive to think that it could seriously be more. It was just the heat of the moment and it should have never gotten that far. Maybe you could learn to live with that.

[g1rlken]

┏ 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ┐

part3.

Alex turner x fem!actress reader

an: this part gives slightly “the Peter” by Taylor Swift vibes

word count: 3.6k+

Warnings: mention of depression

-

It was difficult to keep on going on your whim, time and time again looking for reasons to belittle or make it difficult for y/n to work on this project. She absolutely regretted come to this godawful grassland for the world’s pettiest man’s song. Not that he hadn’t moved on, y/n would see him: hand around shoulder, slipping down the waist as he’d laugh with one of those model stand ins. Every meal. The common dining area of the hotel they stayed at, Alex was the charming machine to all these lady guests of his. She couldn’t keep on distracting herself talking to the rest of crew, small talk was fine and longer conversations were embarrassing. She felt ambushed talking about her acting hiatus because the general narrative was that she got way too into her own head, she probably did but what business was that to the intern Sam who was a disguised coffee guy. She kept on telling herself and everyone else that the ‘whole thing’ wasn’t a ‘big deal’ but god forbid someone mentions an award function, her tone would immediately get guarded as if she was being tested. As if she was on that stage again being a laughingstock. Too much. She didn’t talk at all, hence decided to order room service for almost all her meals.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Y/n exclaimed slumping her shoulders down. There was a rain forecast on their original location so they changed production to a planned cliff, second day of the same shoot and the municipality shut down entry to the place because of supposed lightning forecast. It was taking forever to finish this godforsaken music video.

“They said they’re closing it for a week.” Richard informed her with a sigh, bummed out himself. Too much time on production as it is, getting to a peculiar location as such. From the centre to outskirts through the hilly roads it was already such a hustle only to find the place shut down. “The studio said we might as well extend a while for the location since we came all this way.”

The whole crew was growing increasingly restless on this project, no more than y/n and no less than Alex who was apparently enjoying the sights. A smirk on his face, clicking a picture of the no entry sign for the joke of it, snickering as he did so. It just fuelled her annoyance. “Cant we just shoot here? We drove four hours to come here!” Y/n proposed pointing to the open grass landscape, the whole place was just gigantic dunes of grass and grey skies. The first two days of shoot, it was beautiful. With more and more delays it was the most daft place ever.

“We have done the landscape part we need a cliff shot now…” Richard trailed off with a sigh, “Look, guys, let’s stay positive yeah? We can maybe find a new location”

“We can’t, they close the roads by sundown remember? It’s already 2, I don’t think we can make it.” Alex added into the conversation, his tone was laced with amusement so bad it made y/n infuriated but she didn’t say a word given he was a master of creating a scene. Absolute zero fellowship in him, he was enjoying everyone else’s suffering coming all this way just to spite her.

“Don’t we have a pass for it? With the shooting permit?” Y/n inquired about it, such remote locations generally allow access to a shooting team on permit.

“Guess who forgot it at the hotel?” Giving a disappointed look to Sam, the coffee guy/intern.

Deadpanning her face y/n rubbed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Disappointment clouded her problem solving abilities “Don’t we have any cliff other equivalent location in this stupid place?” She said with a scoff. Every place looked identical anyways.

“What a great idea!” Alex exclaimed ironically joining his hands together, his classic taunting was about to follow “How about we find her a park bench, will that be cliff equivalent for you?”

It had already been a lot of days of this mockery and a miserable time here. At hotel, the locations, failed shoots, his constant jabs were resulting in a lot of piled agitation. “Shut the fuck up.” She said blatantly.

Richard widened his eyes as did the crew, they were busy in finding network to make the maps work and Google nearest new locations but this was rather difficult to not be moved by, Alex too, “excuse me?” he was taken aback to say at least. Raising a brow he leant forward as to express his offended demeanour.

“The whole crew is really tired, we all woke at 4 am. Packing, equipment, dress, make up-to drive all the way here only to not shoot. If you can’t contribute stop irritating people who are actually working.” She told him off crossing her arms, shifting her weight on one leg.

“Is that so? What are you doing except for whining?” Alex said with a bitter laugh.

“This is stupid” she shook her head, instantly deciding to not engage anymore given she was here for work not engage in petty conversation with him besides in front of the whole crew it was anyways unprofessional. “You’re unreasonable” she waved her hand in mid air, crossing her arms as she was turning away.

“You haven’t changed a bit. Go on go leave, you’ve never had it in yourself to stay when things get difficult.” Alex scoffed, absolutely unfiltered in front of the whole crew perhaps purposely harsh.

“Alex, I’m being professional here you don’t have to go that far.” She replied with a frown on her face, surface level comprehension of his words which she knew would hurt so much, they already were but she wanted to be removed from this conversation before he made matters worse.

“Oh you’re being professional now?” To him, anything to do with her wasn’t professional. For exaggeration, if she even breathed in his direction he was agitated. Just a huge grudge to not see beyond professionalism. “Such a professional in everything you messed up your most serious two year long relationship.”

“I know it wasn’t mutual and I regret you were hurt but this isn’t the place to have that conversation now-“ she tried to reason with him in a subtle way, instead of biting back like him she could’ve approached with bitterness of how it’s been half a year since they parted, how he was seemingly moving on yet constantly berating her for leaving.

“You don’t get to decide where and when we have this conversation? You’ve already decided enough for me.” He said mockingly, his gaze fixated on her as he stared her down. He wasn’t aware for the root of his hurt and anger, originally he knew it was because she left him yes. But other than that, the fact that she felt like just waltzing back into his life through small talk or the fact that she didn’t waltz back into his life. It was the later. She decided to break up without of a second thought because she deemed it right for him, thinking she was a burden. She decided to leave for him and all he wanted was her. Back then and even now he didn’t know what he was trying to prove to her but it was surely drifting her father from him and he didn’t know how to stop that so he just let his anger out, “Tell me, is it better now? You learned to cook did you? You take your own meds on time…if you actually do? You attend all possible award shows you’re nominated in?” He scoffed, reminding her all such things he was helping her through and she refused him. He couldn’t stomach that she wanted to heal without him and it was a rather low blow when he mentioned the award show thing, she didn’t attend award shows at all even now. He kept tabs even after the break up because It brought him a sort of reassurance that she wasn’t completely alright, not without him. He loved her so infatuatedly he didn’t know how to act.

Y/n was sick to her stomach as he went on and on, in front of everyone just spewing out her personal miseries. “You don’t get to play the martyr just because I didn’t want your help.” To think that man that once hand fed her all which he cooked, with so much love, the man who set alarms to remind her for her medicines and the award show thing. He knew it was and still is a sensitive subject for her, he put her in the exact same situation like back up at that stage again. Right now amongst the camera crew, it was just a handful of people and y/n felt increasingly uncomfortable yet he didn’t stop talking.

“I’m not playing the martyr but I didn’t asked to get left either.” He said emphasising on the word ‘didn’t’ right back at her. He wouldn’t say it but this whole lashing out was not because she didn’t want his help but because she didn’t want him and that still word.

“It’s been…” she paused, “six months.” It was really hard to see him say all that so easily and she could barely formulate words trying to fight back tears simultaneously. Just how could he show indifference so such extent.

“I’m aware.” He scoffed changing his stance looking away for one second, contemplating if he should go on because he did take a not of her quivering voice she always did that when she was about to cry, he could recall from their time together and that reminder just fuelled him even more. He knew her like the back of his hand back then, even now, yet she walked way. “You were scared I’d leave you if I got to know you were depressed but when I chose to stay you were even more scared and left me. It is so difficult to love let alone work with you!”

“Work, yes of course” she nodded slowly registering the hurt of his words bit by bit because he was going further from far. “I’m going to go revise…” she told Richard, rest of the crew as well. All who’d been witnessing this conflict awkwardly and painfully silently. Y/n couldn’t look at anyone’s faces as she walked back to the trailer, it was a bus in itself because the whole crew travelled together but if the universe had any ounce of mercy left for her nobody would join her this very moment. Her ears were numb to the silent background, she thought Alex would have the last word surely but he didn’t. She walked the longest walk back to the trailer, closing the door behind her. There was a heavy feeling in her chest, the mechanical setting of sadness. Her heart racing, mind replaying the whole ordeal. Every word, everyone’s surprised faces. She wanted to break down, tears already brimmed her eyes but then again if they were to resume shooting on a new location the very same day her eyes would be so puffy and displaying that to the makeup crew. After everything they witnessed, absolutely not. She paced back and forth air drying her tears, trying to divert her mind. She did. She thought about the dreadful night of their breakup again, she must’ve put Alex in this very situation back then. His pleading, begging voice. The man who was on his knees for her who wanted her to do anything but leave, just how right now she wanted him to do anything but keep talking. But well, both things happened and the later was the consequence of the first one. She had nobody but herself to blame and the inherent guilt crept right back in.

-

Thankfully, there was no resumed shooting later that day given the rain check was really bad to commute to another location as well so the crew all returned back to the hotel. Four hours, just staring out the window. Fixated completely y/n didn’t even look at anyone the entire ride and nobody approached her even. Straight into her room at the hotel, for dinner she ordered just room service. After an awaited long breakdown in her room she couldn’t go down and have dinner with the rest of them, the breakdown session was as it is evident on her face plus everything was so awkward after the whole ordeal. Everyone looked at her with agitating sympathy, as if her dog had passed.

She opened the door to “Room service!” knock, taking the food in, not exactly meeting the eyes somewhat hiding her face as if she was some alleyway dealer. “Thanks.”

“Miss y/l/n, I’m really sorry for what you’re going through.” The room service guy told her out of courtesy and also genuine compassion.

“What?” She was immediately confused, what exactly was he referring to?

“The whole…your ex-I was there.” He explained, not sure how exactly to term Alex lashing out on her in front of everyone. But he wanted her to know his sympathies lay with her “I was assigned by the hotel to the filming crew as a local here” he said referring to why exactly he was there in the first place.

“Oh.” Y/n nodded, wonderful. This whole interaction had the same feeling of a funeral when someone explains how they’re related to the person in subject however in this case y/n was full well alive. “Yeah…thanks. Thanks a lot.”

“For the record, I’ve seen almost all of your movies and I have loved you in every single one of them and your order is the most easiest order to make. So you’re not difficult to love or work with I’ll have you know.” He tried to be hospitable and also as a fan, he felt really bad for the actress in question. His heart was there, trying to offer kind words but it just made y/n feel ambushed.

“That’s-that’s really sweet.” She nodded with a small smile regardless. What a time! Even absolute strangers feel sympathetic to her and Alex who-no. “It means a lot…”

“Always. If you need anything, the restaurant is open till 11.” He said politely and pushed out the empty cart out of her room and bid her goodnight.

Just as she was about to close the door as the cart moved out, a foot stepped in the middle refraining her from closing it completely so she opened it instead to see who it was. “Hi.” Alex said as he tilted his head forward, he didn’t think she’d actually open the door to him.

Y/n just took a deep breath, visibly raising her guard she did not have anything to say him at this point and she couldn’t believe he had something more to say. She just stood there, trying to appear stiff but with just the first glance he could tell she had been crying. Crying really bad. He wanted to apologise, after a lot of thinking over the words shared he felt like he crossed a line. Especially with what he said, he said in front of everyone. He messed up. Apologies came cheap, he didn’t know what to say. “The shots from yesterday came in, it’s good. It’s great. Beautiful-you were beautiful.”

Tears were already formulating her eyes, just at the sight of him. The casualty of his tone after what he did, she wanted the slam the door in his face so that’s what she attempted too. Slowly closing the door but he stopped her again, “please, can we talk”

“Just go…” she sighed averting her gaze from him so he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. He leant a bit lower to see her face, conforming the tears she was trying to hide. He wanted to reach out and hold her but he was just out here in the lobby. He experimented professing further and she did let him inside, dejectedly moving aside y/n just didn’t want to see his face anymore.

Getting inside Alex softly closed the door behind him, anxiously she was pacing back and forth. He once made fun of her, he called this method of hers “air-drying tears, love?” he asked. She did not want him here in the first place so he didn’t breach that boundary, stopping by the small of hallway to her hotel room a few steps by the door.

“Why are you even here?” She asked firmly as she had been successful to air dry her tears back. It wasn’t pride, maybe on the prideful spectrum but she would not cry in front of him even though it hurt like hell.

“I know I can’t make things right after what I said today, I shouldn’t have said that. Especially not in front of everyone like that-you, you were at work.” He said in a calm tone leaning against the wall, “I’m sorry…I’m really sorry.”

“Okay.” She nodded without even looking at him, barely acknowledging his words because she was fixated on not breaking down at this very second.

“That’s it?” He asked, not frustrated just underwhelmed that his genuine apology accounted for so much less? “Okay?” He couldn’t tell if she was okay with it in a true sense or if she was being passive aggressively ignorant about it.

“What do you want me to say?” Y/n asked scrunching her brows as she crossed her arms.

“We are not at the best terms, I know. We both messed up, you were trying to be civil. Today I crossed a big line, I know. I really want to just make things right-“

“Then why don’t you just leave?!” She stopped his self serving closure set apology mid way, “You are here in the first place just to spite me aren’t you? To give me a hard time and so far Alex, you have been very successful-“ she was so angry, she couldn’t hold her her tears anymore as they streamed down her face breaking her voice.

“Hey, hey” he cooed softly as he approached her in small steps. Ever since he saw her face, evidence of a long breakdown on it he had wanted to just pull her into his embrace. Now she was crying again and he couldn’t fight the urge as he gently placed his hands on her shoulder to soothe her.

The familiarity of his touch, his consolation punched y/n back to the good years just him and her and they rarely had these moments where she would be falling apart but she knew that if she did, he’d be there. Just like how he was here. But this time it wasn’t healthy, this wasn’t right even if it felt so. She pulled herself away from him shaking her head as she sat on the bed of her hotel room crying into her hands.

Hesitantly he followed her, this was all so instinctive. “Y/n…” he trailed off as he knelt in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed. She had covered her face with her hands so he tried to gently remove them as to see her face. “It’s alright, you’re alright.” He soothed as he finally got to see her weeping face. He kept on wiping her tears as new flew down her face. “You are so much stronger than this, you’ve been okay before. You’ll be okay again, just breathe.” This is what he was perfect at, piecing her back together. She held the colour only his paint brush knew.

This scenario was almost like an extremely long déjà vu, this exact scenario y/n had been here so many times. Him comforting her, so willingly and so warm. As if it was worth being this hurt, she couldn’t get words out through her crying, that perfectly but she didn’t have to for he already knew. To be loved is to be known and he knew her like she was the last thing he’d ever know, the last he’d learn. “Can I hold you?” He asked softly, eyes expectant for a yes.

Nodding she hesitantly met his eyes and she recognised Alex for Alex. After so long, she didn’t think about anything else but the familiarity of the lover she once held. The one who was holding her now. He stood up and sat beside holding her, enlacing his arms around her. A warm embrace shielding her from an awful time he inflicted on her.

She returned his embrace as well, his hand rubbing her back in a repetitive motion her weeping dying down but he didn’t let go. He didn’t want to.

Alex nestled her closer to him, words unsaid and a vague understanding. Neither of them broke the cocoon of warmth. It almost felt like a fever dream to y/n, she wasn’t aware of any reality she’d let herself be in this situation in. But here she was. Slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms. He could tell she was, he settled the two of them in a lay-down position on the bed. He didn’t think she could fall asleep and he also didn’t want to move. With her small grip at his shirt with the two of them cuddling he figured she wouldn’t want him to leave either.

He planned to leave silently once she was sound asleep, as time went on he didn’t realise when he drifted off to sleep too. Just holding her in his arms, cuddling the two of them slept on their grievances entangled with one another.

—

HIII!!! I’ve got like two more chapters left to this pls let me know what you think or I will d!3 and don’t forget to drink water xx

@indierockgirrl @turnersverse @ladydraculasthings @libertyybellls @kelizai @sagegreensimmr @supernaturalandpain

[asksailorponies]

Front Yard in Boston