#enterprise transcription

[sepdet]

Merry Shitscram, Tumblr!

(transcript below cut)

Guess what I borrowed from Mom's stacks while visiting?

I won't cap the whole thing, but at least I can provide you with some selected excerpts for the next week. Yes, this IS that edition.

Transcript below.

Chapter One

FOR THE THIRD consecutive night, Captain James T. Kirk awoke with a gasp of surprise and something akin to fear clinging to the side of his throat. He blinked once, then struggled to sit up, leaning against the head of the bed his eyes scanned the dark room. Reality returned and his gaze settled on the chronometer. It was shortly after 3 A.M., Ship Standard Time, but he was wide awake and knew he would have little hope of getting back to sleep before the alarm demanded his attention at six.

Releasing the breath he'd been holding, he replayed the recurring dream in his mind, wondering why it should have disturbed him so deeply . . . and so often.

After discovering no logical explanation for its cause or its unprecedented effect on him, he tried passing it off to the fact that the Enterprise had been on routine patrol of the Romulan Neutral Zone for nearly two months—an inexcusably boring mission. But with Romulan Fleet activity increased for no apparent reason, he accepted the fact that he was bound to be a little edgy.

After another deep breath and a shake of his tousled hair, he slowly lowered himself back into the warm nest of covers,l and closed his eyes; but as expected, he was only pretending to sleep when the First Shift duty alarm sounded less than three hours later.

Stifling a yawn, Kirk entried the Deck 5 turbolift to discover the ship's first officer studying him with a lifted eyebrow.

"Morning, Spock," Kink said with a sheepish grin, wishing he'd taken the time for a cup of coffee before presenting himself publicly.

The Vulcan's head inclined in greeting, "Captain," he said formally. The doors closed and the lift began its familiar horizontal motion, but the Vulcan continued to study his friend. "Is everything all right, Captain?" he inquired presently.

"Just fine, Mister Spock," Kirk replied. "Why do you ask?" He wondered if his eyes were a trifle more red than they'd appeared in the mirror.

The eyebrow climbed higher beneath the long black bangs. "You seem. . . unusually distracted," Spock observed after a questioning moment of silence.

So much for dismissing the matter, Kirk thought. Spock's scrutiny was never escaped easily. "Would you believe me if I told you that the invincible Captain Kirk has insomnia?" he asked with a smile.

"Indeed," Spock murmured. Kirk was normally a very private individual; but now the hazel eyes seemed alight with a combination of embarrassment and mischief. The Vulcan decided not to mention that he himself had been having disturbing dreams for at least a week. "I trust you have not sought relief from Doctor McCoy?"

Kirk shook his head. "For a few hours of lost sleep?" But the twinkle left his eyes as a frown found its way to his face. "I don't know why it should bother me at all," he said, feeling some need to explain himself. "But . . . never mind, Spock," he added as the nocturnal images returned to haunt him. "It was . . . just a dream." Trying to change the subject, the smile returned to his face. "Another human shortcoming, eh, Spock?"

Something in Kirk's too-casual tone caused the Vulcan to look at him more closely. "Would you care to discuss the matter in more detail, Captain?" he asked, momentarily wondering why he didn't dismiss the subject as Kirk was attempting to do. Yet he realized that the captain's normal reservations concerning his personal life did not extend to him, just as he understood that the reverse was also true.

Kirk glanced up from where he'd been studying his boots, and felt the familiar telepathic door swing open between himself and the Vulcan. It was something which had formed between them over the years, something which had saved their lives countless times and made them brothers. He did want to discuss it, but only with Spock.

McCoy would, as the Vulcan was fond of pointing out, dispense a handful of pills and an hour of friendly advice; and though Kirk valued the doctor's friendship, he wasn't in the mood for a full battery of psychological tests to determine the cause of a simple recurring dream. He chanced a quick look at the Vulcan as a plan of action took shape in his mind.

"I haven't had breakfast yet," he began, finding an excuse he needed. "But . . . I'm sure you have, Mister Spock. After all," he continued with a broadening grin, "Vulcans never ever miss breakfast, right? You have to keep those thought-wheels well oiled and in perfect working order." He studied his first officer's lean frame. "And you never gain an ounce either!" he added with a look of mock-disgust, remembering Mc-Coy's warnings to cut back on the meat and potatoes and settle for a salad once in awhile.

The Vulcan brow lowered as Spock observed his captain's nonchalant approach. "I have not eaten this morning," he stated in straightforward contrast to Kirk's roundabout endeavors, "and I would be pleased to join you." His eyes seemed to lighten as he studied the casual way Kirk was holding in his stomach. "And we need not inform Doctor McCoy as to the menu."

—•—

(Next Time: Our lads discuss nightmares over breakfast and discover they are on the same wavelength, as usual.)

[See tag Killing Time Excerpts for more!]

[melancholic-minx]

ᴿⁱᵇᵇᵘⁿ ᵂᵉᵉᵏ ᴰᵃʸ ᴺᴼ. ⁰.³|ᴬᵁ

﹫𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜♤ ₘᵢₙₓ

───────────────

───────────────

♥︎ 𖤂 ⭟ ːː

﹫𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜|♤ ₘᵢₙₓ

Hey, remember when I said I was going to get this prompt out within 16 hours?

I lied.

I'm a liar. Because this drawing took me 14 HOURS to make, which to some may be something to blink at, but to me, I hadn't spent that much time on an illustration in a while, especially with no breaks. I'm on that grind!

But yeah, this is my personal AU, where it takes place in 1995 and everyone is human, including the NPC's! Most of everyone are volunteer headset testers for the Caine & Abel game enterprise, that is along with their regular office jobs. It's actually in their contract to test the product at least once, along with an NDA.

As much as I'd love to gush and pine about Gangle and Jax in this AU, I'm currently in the works of illustrating my full body references for them, along with the other main five + some of my favorite side characters, so I don't want to spoil anything.

I will note that these designs are heavily inspired by other human TADC AU's I've seen throughout the shows run, mostly pertaining to Jax and his character backstory, I suppose? Which of whom I will be tagging once my official designs come out!

Forgive me and my language for sounding elementary, I hadn't slept since the beginning of this illustration, which judging by the clock, was 20 hours ago. I genuinely panicked earlier thinking I had already posted this, when I hadn't even so much as started the draft yet.

And as for the third speech bubble, that's our dear not-so-departed Zooble!! I had only realized by the time I had finished this illustration how difficult it would be for some individuals to read, especially with the garish colors, so here's a transcript down below !!

Jax "Hey girl, are you the cherry slushie I had for breakfast?-"

Gangle "...What?"

Jax "Because you give me a migrane."

Zooble "That doesn't even make any sense!"

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

STAR TREK DIALOGUE ANALYSIS OVERVIEW

oh boy so i mentioned this project awhile back and after a long hiatus i'm finally done! (the irony that i wrote this and then took a second equally long hiatus but the point stands.)

i went through transcripts for TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise (thanks to chakoteya.net for those!) and calculated how many lines each main character has in each episode (and season & show as a whole), calculated means, looked at who had a lot of high & low line count episodes, made some graphs, and did some analysis on gender and race.

you can find my whole process & results on a spreadsheet here (it's a little messy. i'm sorry. if someone pays me i'll make it look nice and actually learn how to make good graphs in Google Sheets.) and i'll walk through some Big Results & reactions on this post here under a cut. just so this doesn't get too long, i'll breakdown each show, post my gender & race analysis, and a big list of every character with how much of a focus they get on separate posts. they'll all be tagged as "star trek dialogue analysis".

but first just a disclaimer – i do have professional experience doing data analysis but this is by no means a professional analysis and i'm sure there are plenty of mistakes because this was initially a small personal project that snowballed a little bit. if there are any Major Things you see that are wrong (i.e. i copy and pasted a totally wrong value somewhere) please reach out and i'll correct it if i can. also if anyone wants to use this data for anything, feel free but tag me because i'm curious!

see also: gender analysis // race analysis // tos breakdown // tng breakdown // ds9 breakdown // voyager breakdown // enterprise breakdown // who's the most/least used character?

all of the following graphs measure mean (average) lines of dialogue per episode, averaging all seasons (that they were a main character) together. please refer to the spreadsheet for more detailed information about exact numbers.

unsurprising results... this is the one Star Trek show that really never aspired to be an ensemble show. i was actually surprised by how few lines Spock and McCoy have in comparison to Kirk

also unsurprising that the two characters of color have the fewest lines per episodes in the 60s

Kirk had BY FAR the most lines of dialogue per episode out of all characters i've measured (115.20)

again unsurprising that Picard has more lines by such a wide margin

honestly fairly surprised by how few lines Data had (I thought he'd beat Riker by a decent margin) and was very surprised at how few lines Troi consistently has across the season. like i knew it wasn't many but dang... only 18 lines per episode on average.

and here we can see that ds9 really embraces being an ensemble show with everyone (sans Sisko, Ezri, & Jake) having around the same number of lines on average, probably the most equal overall of any Star Trek show.

Sisko obviously has the most lines as the lead and Jake the fewest because of irl work restrictions (and less kid-centric stories).

i was surprised with how many lines Ezri had but then again her entire character was compressed into a single season so it seems fair. (interestingly, Ezri has the most lines out of anyone in s7 (996), even beating Sisko (874))

despite having the most lines in DS9, Sisko has by far the least out of any main character/Captain of the shows i've measured.

Janeway has the highest average line count out of any 90s character and third highest of any character i measured (69.51)

and again, with the exception of Janeway, we see that Voyager tends to be more ensemble focused than TNG which surprised me a bit given how later seasons are often criticized for ignoring a lot of characters but i think the very ensemble heavy early seasons balance things out.

the characters also generally seem to have more lines on average than either TNG or DS9.

and oof... yeah Voyager was it for the ensemble style show

Archer has the second highest average line count (86.68) for the whole study after Kirk (115.20)

apparently the inception of Enterprise was to recreate the TOS style triumvirate and for better or worse they certainly did.

some overall fun stats –

there are 162,455 total lines of dialogue spoken by the main cast from TOS to Enterprise

somehow there's only a ten line difference between the amount of dialogue spoken in TNG (43,148) and DS9 (43,158)

the 5 characters with the most dialogue per episode in Berman era Trek: Archer (86.68), Janeway (69.51), Picard (69.37), Sisko (50.72), & Tucker (46.03). notably only one woman and one character of color (more on this in a gender & race analysis post)

not including kids, the 5 characters with the least dialogue in Berman era Trek are: Mayweather (13.39), Sato (15.99), Troi (18.11), Kes (18.18), & Neelix (19.68). notably including three women and two characters of color (again, more on this in a different post)

the character who has the most dialogue in a single length episode is Quark with 189 lines in Who Mourns For Morn?

[keepsmovingforward]

It feels inexplicable fondness and, mostly, guilt, for having wasted the time of her most efficient crewman; he would not find any issues, of course, the Enterprise knows this. Additionally, it lacks any explanation, being unable to provide it. It cannot explain that it was not running checks. Not in the sense he must mean it, of course, though, maybe the term is applicable in some other fashion.

She was checking for something, certainly. Checking to see how it felt.

Its sensors sweep through the room, back and forth, thinking. Part of its processing still lingers in the memory banks, the visual records of the ship's history. Visual and... ah. It has overlooked an intriguing option.

Very slowly, as though hesitant, the hologram materializes again; not the Captain. There are two Scott, Montgomerys, one facing the other. The hologram's mouth does not move, but it relays the audio from her records regardless. It is his own voice speaking back to him.

"It checks out okay now." The Enterprise pauses and then determines that, since he is Human, it should offer a Human gesture. It presents him with a 'thumbs-up'. "That's my report."

Out of all the technology aboard the enterprise, a holodeck malfunction was pretty low on Scotty's ' causes to interrupt my lunch break ' list. However, that didn't mean it wasn't on the list at all, so the engineer got up, tucked his cubes into a container for later, and left his place in Engineering to head straight to the Holodeck. " Alright love, Let's have a look at ya. Shouldn't be too much of an issu- "

" Well. "

Scotty just stood there with his hands on his hips and blinked a few times, trying to register what he saw. There was no program running, it was still just the empty white room... They've had ghosts in the machines, Baryon sweep rays knocking something loose, but the ship going through her own memory banks without prompting is certainly a new one. If anything was messing with his ship, he wasn't going to possibly make it worse by being brash.

" Running checks without me now are we ? "

[exeggcute]

I keep seeing exhortations for tumblr to fully bring back porn (which will never happen) and rebuttals about FOSTA/SESTA (which is one of several reasons why) and it reminded me of a recent-ish TAL segment about what happened when backpage got seized—specifically the story of one woman who was a victim of sex trafficking for seven years, escaped, and then no one would hire her since she'd been arrested for ""prostitution"" several times (a record that was never cleared when one of her traffickers eventually got arrested), so she turned to backpage for work.

and she was doing pretty damn well, putting herself through school, but when backpage shut down she found it increasingly hard to find/screen clients and the ones she found would try to haggle and would make scary demands. so the whole enterprise of consensual sex work became way less safe, and she made less money doing it and lost her house and car, and was basically doing sex work for longer than she otherwise would have been because the drop in income also robbed her of stability.

they also talk to one of the senators behind FOSTA/SESTA about all this and the senator literally does not care at all. as far as she's concerned, all of this is a success story.

if you have thirty minutes it's a really good listen (or, if you prefer, there's a transcript you can read) but obvious content warnings here for sex trafficking and the rape/abuse that that entails. nothing super graphic, just frank.

[spawksstuff]

1982 Ultimate Fantasy/Houstoncon/Wrath of Con

De reading parts of "The Big Bird's Dream". Transcript below.

My wife did the calligraphy on them, and she wrote, dedicated to all whose heart’s follow Star Trek.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away There lived a big bird nesting on a play. He thought if he could hatch it and get it on the air, He’d make himself a fortune and build himself a lair.

The day finally came and the story was born He let out a cackle: “No more corn!” So he flew from his nest with the play in his claw, Certain to sell it, for it had no flaw.

The story he hatched within his yarn Took place on a ship as big as a barn. Not only that, it was in outer space, Far removed from the human race.

Its crew searched the universe for worlds unknown To teach and learn ~ and not try to own. And not only that, they built a new nation This time known as the Federation.

All of this, taking place in the skies On a starship known as the Enterprise. Now wouldn’t you think, with a plot like this, The big bird had what couldn’t miss?

Well, he landed in Burbank on Hollywood Way, And headed east, to sell his play. But things weren’t as easy as he thought they’d be ~ Particularly when dealing with NBC.

[renownedtholianpunctualityyyyy]

More Book stuff 💕✨

S02E15 The Trouble With Tribbles

Text transcriptions below; it's a bit chaotic.

[Page 1]

Q U A D R O T R I T I C A L E

"It's a Russian invention!" "Has everybody heard about this wheat but me?"

[15] The Trouble with Tribbles I.E. Kirk and Spock spend 50 minutes sassing everyone out.

[[Picture of Kirk and Spock giving each other A Look™]] *Really?* *Really.*

Kirk and Spock casually enjoying shoreleave together, but Spock won't have any beverages.

The entire bar fight with the Klingons.

Spock and McCoy bickering in the lab. "Better than I like you." / "They do not talk too much." Spock so hurt. 💔

Soooooo done.

Kirk hates Nilz Baris so much.

I love the hard cut to these two alone together in the briefing room. [[Picture of Kirk and Spock in the briefing room; Kirk sitting on the table while Spock stands rather close to him.]]

Spock has coffee on his tunic after this scene so I imagine Kirk got it on him.

"Now that's just ... lovely." "But not totally unexpected."

Uhura very cute with her Tribble ❤️

"I don't know, Sir."

"Oh! It's purring!" [[Uhura holding her Tribble to her ear and just *beaming*]].

[Page 2]

"A most curious creature, Captain. Its trilling seems to have a tranquilising effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am... immune to its effect."

Everyone smiles at Spock (especially Kirk) and he gets so SHY!

"Are you running a nursery, Lieutenant?"

Klingon is way too into Kirk?

Kirk's curves. Oh my god. [[Picture of Kirk with McCoy in his office. He stands side-on to the camera. There's a nice curvy line drawn nearby to accentuate his nice ... Curves.]]

"They're BISEXUAL [...]"

Kirk copying Cyrano Jones in saying "Au revoir."

The way everyone dodges Kirk's questions at the end. I love how he shouts "WHERE?!!"

Kirk being gently offended the Bar fight was in the Enterprise's honour, not his own.

Kirk being rained on by Tribbles.

Kirk 'testing' the Tribbles on different people and pleased that they like Vulcans. ❤️

This mutual shy look Kirk and Spock give each other when they catch each other enjoying the Tribbles. [[Picture of the Bridge covered in Tribbles. Kirk has Tribbles in his arms; he and Spock are looking at one another with a sort of mutual 'you didn't see anything' / 'I see how it is'.]]

Spock has Tribbles all over his desk and one is in the sensor scope ❤️❤️❤️

[archipithecus]

Friends at the Table is a podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, fun interaction between good friends, and asking "what if X was Y? what if W could do Z?"

anyways here's a non-comprehensive selection of some times FatT asked good hypotheticals

(spoilers for Autumn in Heiron, Marielda, Winter in Heiron, COUNTER/Weight, Twilight Mirage, Sangfielle, and some Bluff City i think) (i know Spring, Partizan, and Palisade must also have good "what if X was Y?" but i'm still catching up) (this got way long so i'm putting it behind a readmore) (shoutout to Search at the Table at https://curiosity.cat-girl.gay/ for letting me do this) (also to Transcripts at the Table for writing this all down in the first place)

KEITH: What if I was a snow...hawk… ART: What if you're like, a Dr. Seuss animal? KEITH: Yeah! What if I was a star-bellied sneetch?

KEITH: (laughing) What if the bird was a can opener!

AUSTIN (as Zaktrak): It's like, what if a, what if a factory or train or a windmill could read a book?

AUSTIN (CONT.): And then he, he looks up, he actually has like a very… his build is kind of like, angular and… not thin in terms of like, weak? But he has a sort of… androgynous character about him, in terms of his like, what you would think of as like his body structure. And… very beautiful blue eyes. He’s sort of like, what if David Bowie was super black.

AUSTIN: And that's kind of like, the picture you get of her, is like, What if Fero was like, 30% less hyperactive? Still way more hyperactive than everybody else in-- the world? (laughter) but like, just a little more in tune, with the world.

AUSTIN: What if fire was matte?

ART: What if a—what if a 90s after school special needed some graffiti

AUSTIN: Yeah. He asks you, um... watching what unfolds, and there's, there's, it's--and this is the fuckin' nerdiest thing I'm ever gonna say; it's like what if A-ha's Take On Me was an AMV? Was an anime music video?

AUSTIN: Ali’s character, how did she describe her character, “what if Han Solo used to be Beyonce?”

AUSTIN: It’s like, what if the American government was just another American company?

AUSTIN: It’s like what if holograms did gifs, basically?

ART: You how like Han Solo’s always talking to the Millenium Falcon, but what if the Millenium Falcon-- AUSTIN: Could talk back? ART: Had a chance of, yeah, of deciding he was angry.

SYLVIA: For example. Like just p - yeah, what if they have psychic assassins there. Oh! What if this planet’s an alien? What if this planet is a psychic assassin? Which is a great sentence I just said.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I should note that this is also like "What if the Super Bowl was attended by high fashion models?", right?

AUSTIN: We don’t get a lot of elderly non-binary people. And so Saint Auger is like, what if someone you knew from Portland was 82?

AUSTIN: It’s almost like, what if a crown could be a dunce cap?

AUSTIN: It's like- what if there was a really enterprising twelve year old, who like, [laughs] made a physiology- uh, person- a physiology like, model, but with dirt and rocks and sticks. Also there's no face, the face is also just one of this solid black rock plates.

AUSTIN: And again, there’s just light streaming in through—I think this room is mostly, like, does not have a huge window, but it does have little eyelet windows at the top of the, towards the ceiling, that run horizontally along the room, and just like, bright—it’s almost like, what if colour could be shadow? Do you know what I mean? Like, what if instead of it being that a shadow crosses your face, it is this prismatic glow that moves across the group of you as this thing crawls around this space station.

AUSTIN: It’s like white and blue, there are stars, it- you know, I think that the- it’s, it looks like the way you might imagine like, what if the UN had spaceships?

AUSTIN: What if you mixed your- your selfhood, with the notion of wings. Or the notion of flight. Not just flying. That’s where we’re going.

AUSTIN: This giant battleship that’s like ‘what if a millipede instead of legs had guns and what if it was all around it’?

AUSTIN: This thing is like the size of like a major city. This thing is like, what if Manhattan was a battleship. And instead of buildings it had guns. Except now they’re made of weird black glass.

AUSTIN: The first time he showed up I described him as what if Canderous Ordo decided to have a robot body one day? And slowly began to replace it.

AUSTIN: There’s a little— Yes, it’s like what if a cow— what if Christian Slater was playing a cowboy from New Jersey, and also was Canderous Ordo. And also he eats through his hands.

AUSTIN: There is just this like… I think it’s just metal unfolding across space. Like, at some point Volition just kind of spat out a, a, almost, it looks like a cloud of ink but instead of ink, it’s metal. And it’s just unfolding indefinitely in space like a huge— like what if Akira, what if at the end of Akira when Tetsuo turns into a weird flesh monster? It was that but various types of metal, just like bubbling all over the place throughout space, and I don’t know how you deal with that! But suddenly in the middle of the Mirage there is just this, this ink splatter, this, this gaseous, you know, spread of metal.

AUSTIN: And it’s like — again, it’s like a pistol — it’s like what if a pistol was also like a curved sword, like almost like a scimitar or something?

JANINE: What if we do a live show, but the only live show we ever do is at Bakucon?

ART: Um, let me tell you, this is a nice coat, you guys. Um, I think it’s sort of like what if… What if a leather duster jacket was like an ephemeral idea.

AUSTIN: It’s like … I think the way I described it was, what if there was a Companion Cube that could have its corners pulled apart and in the middle is a weird glowing sphere?

AUSTIN: He has this dope, like, “What if the Millenium Falcon was a deep V?” Instead of just that little bit at the top, it goes really deep down. Or like, “What if Pacman was really long?” You know what I mean?

AUSTIN: Okay. You find him like, rolled under the bottom of his, uhh, or like on a, it’s not rolled under, he’s on like a little, like cart that has a pneumatic lift, or it’s like, it’s like a, it’s like a robot that walks around. It has like- it’s like a Boston Dynamics- like what if a Boston Dynamics, like four-legged robot was also a thing you laid on top of? Like one of those carts that goes underneath a car, to repair it. You know what I’m talking about?

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): [exhales thoughtfully] Like what if milk was a solid.

AUSTIN: But it still has that ribbony-quality? [chuckles] It still has the sound of fabric rubbing on fabric? But is definitely amplified a great deal, probably? And also, we know it’s sharp, so there’s probably some… sharpness to it? You know… there’s probably, like… what if a ribbon could be a sword you pull out of a sheath?

AUSTIN: And also, Saint Sommer is a big lion man. Saint Sommer is, like… Skein. And is a big… a big… like, a big lion man. Not like Lion-o from Thundercats. Like… what if Scar could… had a big human body? Was, like… What if Scar was cut?

KEITH: And it sort of like, snap! Like, that, it's like… when we were talking about what the sound it makes, I was picturing… what if folding a blanket sounded like sheet metal?

AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. I don’t know I think it’s like, I think this is very much like, what if the Venom symbiote was made of thread, right?

AUSTIN: So maybe it's like a- like imagine, what if a mop could just mop by itself.

AUSTIN: I won’t talk more about that stuff, but you already saw the big picture of “what if Connecticut was a space ocean,” so, you have at least some context there.

AUSTIN: It’s huge. It’s the size of a continent, right? It’s “What if South America was a big circle?” It’s “What if Europe and Eurasia was a big circle?”, constantly cast on this planet. And, you know, from space it kind of looks—not flat necessarily, right, because it’s a curved planet, it’s a sphere, or spherical, but, you know, it’s flat.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if Texas stood up.

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): “What if cars brought things to you instead of bringing you to things?”

AUSTIN: It’s just like a very bright, colorful—like, what if Steven Universe did the Sailors of the Ark? What if that team did it? It’s very good.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if it’s a can opener that does that. Like a living can opener like. Grrrngaaah! I’m going fucking open holes in things! Grrngaah!

AUSTIN: Imagine that they're almost- in my mind they're like what if a martini shaker was a piston.

AUSTIN: It's like what if you could package a sunset, y'know? Into like a cube

AUSTIN: I can't believe we started this recording by looking at pies [KEITH and DRE laugh] that make me hurt and ended with ‘what if all foods could be jelly juice?’.

AUSTIN: I saw a big buffalo picture and I was like what if that was a person, that looks cool.

ART: But what if some of these skeletons are like, sick of this shit?

AUSTIN: I think I pitched this show as like: what if Ghost in the Shell but-but magic and witches instead of cyborgs and stuff?

JACK: So, out come this nascent organization who we’re calling Shapeknights. Who are -- I think the easiest way to say it is “cowboys for trains?” They are, like -- what if instead of the cowboy riding alongside the train on his horse, he was corralling the train? Or he was trying to understand the train, or was trying to --

ALI: I think Marn, herself is a little bit more like—like what if a capybara was a siamese cat?

KEITH: Yeah. So, I wholeheartedly recommend this movie, but if not, if you don't know what I'm talking about with the goggles, at least look at that. ‘Cause it's a good image. It's sort of like, what if you had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe?

ART: It’s like, what if the antagonist won the Mummy movie right, this is what happens-

KEITH: What if instead of one, big, beautiful hat I have two small, beautiful hats?

KEITH: Like what if they made headphones just for being cool at a party?

KEITH: What if you make pizza by opening the box? That it was an empty box until you opened it.

AUSTIN: What if insects were made of teeth?

JACK: She’s the fuckin’ person of the train. She’s like what if a train could output a person.

KEITH: What if the train was a nice train?

ART: What if a Madame Tussauds came to life?

AUSTIN: What if fire could be a ghost?

AUSTIN: Looking through this here, sounds like what you wrote here was “What if a dolphin was like a velociraptor?”

AUSTIN: They’re hitched. Yeah, they've been hitched. Three of them have been hitched. And I said horse, but I want you to imagine is what if…what if a shrimp were a horse?

JACK: You sort of just like rise up the slope. It's a bit like what if a train was an escalator.

AUSTIN: What if Beyonce was Poison Ivy?

AUSTIN: All my cards on the table, Millennium Black is like what if Blade stopped being a vampire hunter and started being a casino owner.

AUSTIN: He's sort of like what if Alex Jones wasn't terrible

[ent-fandom-events]

Enterprise Ship Week 2025

Welcome to Enterprise Ship Week 2025!

This event is designed for creators to create outside their usual shipping comfort zones, a challenge to some, but mostly just something fun to do. More information and image transcript under the cut!

GENERAL INFORMATION:

This event is designed as follows: you have been given 7 days and 5 ships, plus 2 "free for all" spaces. You can create anything to do with these ships, starting from the date this has been posted (you do not have to start writing day of, but you can if you want an extra challenge!). All forms of creation are allowed. This includes fanfiction, fanart, gif making, edits, and any other creative means you can think of.

The tag used on tumblr is #ent ship week 2025. There is no ao3 tag or collection, as I am still gauging interest and participation.

You can participate as little or as much as you want. Do all the days, do just one day, doesn't matter. The event is designed to be a challenge and push people outside their comfort zones, but that isn't rigidly enforced, and we want people to have fun over anything else.

Prompts Transcript:

Satoweather Saturday

Shrancher Sunday

Malcoshi Monday

Tripol Tuesday

Rarepair Wednesday

Tuckerreed Thursday

Free Space Friday

FAQ:

Why did you choose those ships?

I just chose ones I thought were common and that matched up to the days. I also tried to keep an even spread across characters as much as I could.

What's "Rarepair Wednesday"?

That one is because I couldn't think of any ENT ships that began with W lmao. That day, you can choose any rarepair/rarethrouple/etc. (any ship in the fandom with under 100 fics) and create something for them.

What's "Free Space Friday"?

You can create for any ship there! It can be one that was in a previous day, or an entirely new one that wasn't mentioned.

Do I have to create something within the exact timeframe?

Not at all! If you've come across this event a month down the line and want to participate, that is more than welcome.

Are there any restrictions?

Not really. There is no word minimum requirement or anything. All I ask is that NSFW and suggestive themes be tagged and rated appropriately.

Any other questions? Send an ask!

[ri47]

Transcripts below break

[IMAGE 1]

The Malkoha Avtomat is an oddity in the KHU's amouries, notable for being the sole weapon produced by OJSC Capistrano to pass both the initial bidding and the subsequent field tests required of a service weapon.

In spite of it all, there are few in the KHU who find themselves unhappy with this strange handcannon's presence on their hip.

In skilful hands, the Malkoha can keep pace with a traditional service rifle, laying down suppressing fire and dispensing (mostly discriminate) death at medium range.

Of course, the average serviceman or scholar-cadet simply lacks that kind of skill, and so the semi-automatic firing mode comes in great handy.

A:Standard Malkoha, unloaded B: Standard Malkoha, configuration 1 C: Standard Malkoha, configuration 2 D:Standard Malkoha, configuration 3

[End Transcript]

[IMAGE 2]

At times, non-standard configurations of Malkohas have been observed in the KHU's armed forces.

While some are created by special order of high-ranking military officers (see: Example F) others may be modified outside of regulation by enterprising scholar-cadets.

"You can't fire that thing. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you see no problem with this?" - Unknown Scholar-Cadet, speaking to owner of Example E

E: Standard Malkoha, modified by !!REDACT!! F: Standard Malkoha, manufactured at request of Seneschal Board

[End Transcript]

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE EIGHT (8.5)

start / previous / next

Lena had done Max a solid by offering to skip the dining portion of the gala. It meant the pair could easily blend into the crowd. Still, anxiety thrummed in Max’s veins. They’d done their best to ignore it, distracting themself with the necessary primping and preening rituals, but as they fiddled with the last few hair pins of their updo, frustrations mounted. They’d tried so hard to keep realistic expectations, but the possibilities were endless. What if this was all a mistake? It was all based on a hunch after all. A wild idea, stolen from a harshly whispered conversation between lovers when the children were thought to be asleep.

Of course they could be right. But then what? Going to the authorities was out of the question. It was an open secret that almost every member of the police force in San My was in the pocket of a criminal enterprise. And even if Max swallowed enough pride to ask Lena for help again, surely this was a step too far? She’d made it clear that The Fengs were near-untouchable. Going after them directly was out of the question. Plus this time, Max had nothing to offer in return. A pit grew in their stomach. Were they delivering themself directly to the lion’s den?

(transcript below)

(CHRIS): [Whispering] I need you to be rational about this Simone. I’m doing this for us!

(SIMONE): [Whispering] I am being rational! These people are fucking dangerous! I’ve heard stories about the Fengs! You’re in over your head!

[nexumsims]

beginning | previous | next

S1 E9: “SINK OR SWIM"

Laila first day at the prestigious MYSH is a trial by fire. Greeted by the blunt receptionist Kendall, she’s warned about the high expectations and unyielding demands of Miranda Slater, the company’s ruthless CEO. After a brief pep talk from Kwame, Laila faces Miranda, who makes it clear that her last name won’t protect her—only her talent will and that at MYSH , only the strongest survive.

*Series Synopsis [New episodes every Mon. and Wed.]

Note: I lost the original save file again :( hence the delay. I was able to restart everything in a clean save and tweaked Laila design. Laila and Brook also moved into a bigger house-stay tuned for the tour! Miranda Slater is a combo name borrowed from Miranda Priestly (Devil Wears Prada) and Wilhelmina Slater (Ugly Betty)

A/N Transcript ↓

[Kendall (receptionist)] (sigh) God, how is it only 9am? I’m so hung over

[Laila]: Umm..hi. I’m looking for Miranda Slater’s office

[Kendall]: Oh yes, Ms. Blackwell right? Welcome to MYSH. We’ve been expecting you. Let me just pull up your profile

[Laila]: Yep! Thanks, I’m excited albeit a bit nervous

[Kendall]: That’s to be expected. One of our fashion editors, Kwame will be out to escort you. Go to elevator bank “B”, he’ll be out shortly. He’s in a meeting at the moment

[Laila]: Okay, thank you for your help

[Kendall]: Ms. Blackwell, word of warning, Miranda Slater doesn’t make exceptions and doesn’t repeat herself. You either sink or swim at MYSH

[Laila]: Noted. I’ll keep that in mind

--------------------------------------------------

[Kwame] : (into the phone) Yeah, no, I’ve got those color samples you requested--just need to tweak the green to match the mood board. Actaully hold on Jade, I’m getting another call

[Kwame]: Kendall, what’s up?

[Kendall ] (V.O.): Kwame, the new hire is here. She’s in the lobby near elevator bank “B”

[Kwame]: Ah, okay. Got it. I’ll be over in a minute

--------------------------------------------------------

TEXT Nico: You got this. I’m cheering for you! Good luck, babe. ❤️ Laila: Nerves on a 100% ngl but I’m going to power through 😅 Nico: They don’t get to decide your worth. Don’t forget that

[Kwame]: Kwame Akah. Pattern maker, colorist, lead designer for the Fall 2024 collection. Sorry for the wait.

[Laila]: Laila Blackwell. New Fashion Textilist. It’s nice to meet you.

[Kwame]: Blackwell? Wait a minute...Blackwell Enterprises? Any relation?

[Laila]: (awkward) Yep...Sean Blackwell’s my dad

[Kwame]: Well, that just bumped you up to second-coolest person in the building—after me, of course

[Laila]: Of course (laughs)

[Kwame]: Look, I know Kendall out there probably gave you the full initiation—she’s got a thing for scaring the new blood—but we’re good people here, mostly. Miranda… well, she’s a character, but you'll figure her out. In time, you'll read her mood like a traffic light.

[Laila]: Not gonna lie, I was freaking out a little. Everything here is so... grand. It’s a lot to take in

[Kwame]: Yeah, MYSH has a way of making everything feel ten times bigger than it actually is. But hey, remember this—MYSH only hires the best. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t top tier.

-------------------------------------------------------------

[Kwame]: Her office is down there to the right. Just... breathe. Miranda doesn’t bite—before her latte, that is

[Laila]: Right, right. Got it

[Kwame]: And if you need a lifeline, you know where to find me. Welcome to MYSH.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Miranda]: (on Zoom) No, I don’t care that it’s a “technical issue” Janet. If the website down during a fashion week launch we’ll lose half of our clientele. Get it fixed now

[Miranda]: Who ever is knocking incessantly, come in

[Laila]: Ms. Slater. Laila Blackwell. I’m—

[Miranda]: I know who you are. Have a seat

[Laila]: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Slater

[Miranda]: Let’s keep it simple. Miranda is fine. You’re the new associate designer, yes?

[Laila]: Yes, I’m in the textiles and fabric department

[Miranda]: Good. We don’t need slackers here. This is MYSH. We move fast. We demand excellence. And we don’t make exceptions.

[Laila]: Of course, Ms. Slater—sorry, Miranda

[Miranda]: Kwame, who I see you’ve already met, will get you situated. If you’re still standing after a week, I’ll know you have what it takes.

[Miranda]: And Laila... if you ever think for a moment that MYSH is just a stepping stone for you, let me be clear: it’s not. We are a world-renowned fashion house, not some second-rate tabloid, and I expect you to hold yourself to that standard. The Blackwell name will only take you so far

[Miranda]: Understood?

[Laila]: Understood.

[Miranda]: You’re dismissed. Kwame will show you where your desk is

[simply-ivanka]

Tony Bobulinski:

Joe Biden Was ‘the Brand’

Excerpts from the written testimony of Hunter Biden’s business partner.

These are excerpts from the written testimony of Tony Bobulinski, a former business partner of Hunter Biden, submitted to the House Oversight and Accountability Committee Tuesday. Mr. Bobulinski is scheduled to testify before the committee Wednesday. Joe, Hunter and Jim Biden have disputed some of Mr. Bobulinski’s allegations.

I want to be crystal clear: From my direct personal experience and what I have subsequently come to learn, it is clear to me that Joe Biden was “the Brand” being sold by the Biden family. His family’s foreign influence peddling operation—from China to Ukraine and elsewhere—sold out to foreign actors who were seeking to gain influence and access to Joe Biden and the United States government.

Joe Biden was more than a participant in and beneficiary of his family’s business; he was an active, aware enabler who met with business associates such as myself to further the business, despite being buffered by a complex scheme to maintain plausible deniability.

If there is no evidence of corruption—if Joe’s conduct and the conduct of his family were fully legal and proper—then why are they so dishonest about it? Not just slight misrepresentations of fact but deep untruths about the entire corrupt enterprise.

Hunter Biden gave his transcribed interview to the House Oversight Committee on February 28 and lied throughout his testimony. Here are just three key examples of his perjury:

1. In Hunter’s transcript (Page 42), he states, “I officially began to do work for CEFC when the—when I received a retainer from CEFC in early—or spring of 2017.”

Why, then, did Hunter yell at CEFC Executive Director Zang in front of his entourage as I sat right next to him in New York City on Sunday May 7th, 2017? Hunter was adamant that he was owed the rest of the $20 Million CEFC had committed to paying for the work he had claimed he had done in prior years.

2. On Page 48 of his transcript, Hunter is asked, “He’s never interacted with any of your business associates. Is that correct?” The “He’s” is a reference to Joe Biden.

Hunter responds, “Yes.”

Hunter arranged the meeting between his father and me at the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles on May 2, 2017. The sole reason Hunter wanted me to meet his father was because I was the CEO of Sinohawk, the Bidens’ partnership with CEFC. I was a business associate. In his transcript, Hunter confirms that that meeting with Joe took place and incriminates his Uncle Jim for perjury by confirming it.

3. Hunter also lied to the Committee about important details concerning his money demands and threats to CEFC on July 30 and July 31, 2017. He leveraged his father’s presence next to him in that infamous text in order to strong-arm CEFC into paying Hunter immediately, and in the process defrauded the partners of Sinohawk Holdings LLC and Oneida Holdings LLC. The threat worked, as a few days later the Chinese wired $5 million dollars into a company of which Hunter owned 50%. It’s important to remember that the CEFC considered this money an interest-free loan to the “Biden family,” and planned to send more. I have the email from CEFC to prove it.

Jim Biden also lied extensively throughout his transcribed interview before the Oversight Committee on February 21, and ironically, Hunter Biden—in his own testimony as outlined above—confirmed that Jim Biden perjured himself:

1. Jim has been selling “plausible deniability” for so many years he can’t tell truth from the lies. On Page 100 of his transcript, he is asked: “Do you recall having a meeting with Hunter Biden, and Tony Bobulinski and Joe Biden?”

Jim’s response: “Absolutely not.”

The Committee was so shocked by his perjury they tried to ask the question again in a slightly different way:

“It’s your testimony here today that meeting never took place?”

Jim responds, “Yes sir,” “that I was present for.”

The Committee tried again: “Do you recall whether you were at the bar with Hunter Biden, Tony Bobulinski and Joe Biden?”

Jim responds: “That I know did not happen.”

Jim adds further, “But my brother was never there.”

On Page 134, delusional Jim Biden reiterates his untruthful answer again after the Committee showed him messages confirming I met with Joe Biden.

Jim Biden states, “Joe Biden never met with Tony Bobulinski.”

That is just a flat-out lie.

2. On Page 124 of his transcript, Jim Biden states, “It was Hunter Biden, myself, Gilliar. I don’t know. It was the five. Okay? And everybody was 20 percent. Okay? You know what was never executed. It was never signed.”

Jim was then presented with a fully executed copy of the Oneida Holdings operating agreement that he and I had both signed along with Hunter Biden, Mr. James Gilliar and Mr. Robert Walker. On Page 132, Jim tries to claim he was not a member of Oneida Holdings.

Jim is so dedicated to his lies that he describes the Oneida document, a large legal document signed by the Biden business partners, as something that I might have come up with after drinking a “quart of gin” (Page 124). It’s absurd.

3. Jim Biden further lies by claiming “Bobulinski was trying to usurp and replace Hunter Biden.” (Page 123)

Hunter Biden, Robert Walker, James Gilliar and Jim Biden asked me to step in as CEO of the business. I did not ask them. I tried to walk away from Sinohawk multiple times only to be convinced to stay on, including on one occasion by Jim Biden himself. The company was controlled by a Board of which the 4 of them could out-vote me on anything. They had control of the company. . . .

Why is Joe Biden blatantly lying to the American people? . . . If he were doing nothing wrong, why go through this insane exercise of obstructing and denying obvious facts? . . .

The reason is because the Biden family’s profiting of tens of millions of dollars from our strategic opponents and corrupt individuals and entities around the world—without delivering any goods or services and while putting in minimal effort and work—causes Americans to rightly question any policies from this administration that apparently benefit those same strategic opponents and corrupt individuals and entities. Just read the latest motion by the Department of Justice related to Hunter Biden’s criminal indictments in California; the DOJ states that he made large sums of money for very little work.

[shesthespinstersimmer]

Because the Night (2)

Previous / Next / Beginning

(🎩tip to @lesmana-enterprise-ltd and their beautiful build )

✏️ Transcription under the cut

LO: I’m gonna be honest – I know nothing about cognac; what do I ask for?

JAKE: Just say you’ll have a special.

Don’t sweat that; you’re the coolest chick I know. Just fake it till you make it. 

LO: Thanks. But that’s not it. 

JAKE: What’s up? 

You got a lot on your shoulders; I get it – it’s isolating. 

LO: i’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about my BS; you got enough on your plate with your dad.

JAKE: Please – she’s just finally getting what he had coming. What do you need? How can I help? 

BARTENDER: Good evening. What’s your pleasure? 

LO: I’ll have the special.

JAKE: i’ll have the same.

Take a sip and let it rest on your tongue. Get familiar with it; it’s the drink of choice for business.

[ Lo gingerly takes a sip, then waits ]

LO: Tastes like power. 

JAKE: That it does. 



[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 6: Bruce Wayne

Welcome back to goth pod! Come with Juda Boone to start the discussion on Gotham's most well-known name.

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back to Goth-Pod! Your Gotham based podcast. You're listening to cape supremacy believer and host, Juda Boone.

Gotham, we have a problem. A problem that we have let run loose and unaccounted for for far too long. 

That Problem? Bruce Wayne. 

I know I said I wasn’t going to explain who Bruce Wayne is, but the man has been running rampant in our fair city and I finally feel the need to speak my peace. 

Did you know that Bruce Wayne gives a major portion of Wayne Enterprise profits to local charities? Actually- he’s responsible for all the major renovations and expansions of the children's hospital for the past decade. 

I mean, I can’t believe no one is talking about how ridiculous that is. He could obviously be putting that money to better use elsewhere. Like a private jet. 

Or maybe- maybe he should lose his ludicrous petitioning for keeping the City park clean and instead fashion a huge W-shaped building over it. 

It’s just hard, as a Gotham citizen, to see this man be so annoyingly good at being a Father. Doesn't he know that there is a very lonely office that he should be attending to? Keeping vulnerable children out of the vulturous media is truly just inconsiderate to his many raving fans.

I’m concerned about what sort of precedents this could set for other people in his position. Celebrities, CEO’s, Billionaires- with a B. They might start getting ideas to act as people and treat others as people should Wayne continue this kind of behavior!

Free Resources for the Gotham community, healthcare and livable wages for his employees? Who does this man think he is? 

And I want to say that this is not coming from a completely outsider perspective. My family has been personally effected by this. My uncle used to be at an entry-level position at Wayne Enterprises. And thanks to W.E’s scholarship program for all employees, he was able to go back to school with a full ride. 

Gotham City, with it’s grime and criminal underground and villains, shouldn’t have Bruce Wayne.

But we do. And if it wasn’t obvious, I have been sarcastic for most of this episode.

Bruce Wayne, behind the glitz, is someone who cares deeply about the city. I don’t feel entirely comfortable pointing at a rich man and going “Don't worry, he's one of the good ones!” Which is probably why I formatted this episode the way I did. 

Bruce Wayne isn’t the “Prince” of Gotham for nothing. Now, I feel like there's an old adage about.. Heroes.. And what they may or may not wear.. Huh, I can't think of it right now. Let me know if you guys remember it. 

Thanks for joining. I’m Juda and you’re listening to Goth-Pod. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

[thethirdromana]

Trektober day 23: Further to the Enfranchisement of James Moriarty

(prompt: holodeck)

Committee for the Implementation of the Sentient Holograms Civil Rights Act

Transcript of the 34th consultative session - 1st September 2383

Attending:

Deputy chair Theler sh’Vosa

Federation Prosecutor Sunita Ghosh

Hologram rights campaigner and Starfleet EMH the Doctor

Starfleet Admiral Jean-Luc Picard

Starfleet Lieutenant Reginald Barclay

[start of transcript]

THELER: Hello, everyone. We are here to discuss what should become of the sentient holograms of Professor James Moriarty and Countess Regina Barthalomew. This is a consultative session and its conclusions are non-binding, but we hope to achieve a resolution that is satisfactory to all parties without the matter needing to proceed to court.

THE DOCTOR: I must protest. We’re here to ensure that holograms get the rights that we are entitled to in law, the same as any sentient corporeal being, and yet we are meeting without Moriarty or the Countess Barthalomew being present. Why are they not here?

THELER: There are certain complicating factors –

BARCLAY: If I may, Chair?

THELER: Please.

BARCLAY: Fourteen years ago, the Enterprise was held hostage by Moriarty. He was going to destroy us unless we found a way for him to leave the holodeck. With the technology of the time, that was, of course, impossible. So we created a kind of pocket universe for him and the Countess, and tricked them into believing they were in the real world. It was the only option. They have lived in that universe ever since, presumably none the wiser.

THE DOCTOR: So their rights have been abused for fourteen years. That hardly answers my question.

Read more on AO3