#enjoy those godawful people

[stefisdoingthings]

they are so stupid. they fascinate me

[lonely-cowboy]

one and only ↠ arthur morgan masterlist. main masterlist.

pairing: arthur morgan x f!reader summary: although you left weeks ago, arthur still feels guilty for all he did (and didn't) do to you. he just can't seem to get you out of his damn head. word count: 3.7k warnings: none really? just sad arthur

author's note: AHAHAHA i'm finally back, and i present to you my first arthur morgan fic!! for more info on this request and a lil update on my comings and goings, look here <3

On a typical night, going to the saloon would’ve been a treat for Arthur. When he was able to spend a night out – some nights with the gang, other nights just with you– it meant he was safe. He didn’t have to worry about Pinkertons on his tail or whatever trivial chores Ms. Grimshaw had in store for him the next day. On a typical night, Arthur would’ve enjoyed the saloon.

But tonight was far from typical.

Arthur found himself huddled in a corner with a whiskey in hand, mindlessly fidgeting with the splintered wood of his lonesome table. Though his hat was tipped low to ward off any friendly patrons, Arthur’s eyes were focused on the bright moon outside. Its pale light filtered through the dusty window, casting shadows across Arthur’s rough features. 

Tonight, Arthur was not treating himself. He didn’t deserve such a thing after all the Godawful things he said to you. No, tonight, Arthur would punish himself. He would drink and drink and drink until he was so overwhelmed with misery that the only way to cope was with a good, hard fight. He’d find the biggest, sturdiest patron he could, sauntering over so audaciously that any right-minded man would already be angry with him. And without a word, Arthur would punch that man square in the face, waiting readily for a retaliating punch. After that, he’d let his hands drop to his sides, leaving him defenseless as he took punch after punch in punishment.

Tomorrow was sure to be one hell of a morning.

With a soft grunt, Arthur turned his gaze away from the moon. He didn’t deserve to look on something so pure, something with beauty only contested by yours.

Instead, he turned his attention to the crowd of rowdy drunkards and dancing fools, eyeing them for his victim. 

Lord, he deserved to be hit. Punched, kicked, bitch-slapped.

And still, none of it would be punishment enough for all he did to you.

Arthur cursed at the memory of that night only a few weeks ago, the night you finally left him. He didn’t blame you for leaving– oh, no, he could never blame you. You had every right to leave. Truth be told, he was surprised you stuck around as long as you did. 

But that night… he could never be angry at you for that. Not when you were oh-so-sweet, looking up at him with those big, helpless eyes and praising him with love he surely didn’t deserve. You were nothing but good to him as you confessed your fears of Dutch and where his needless obsessions would lead Arthur. You begged him to run away with you, leave the gang behind and quit risking his life every damn day. You were so desperate for him to leave, tears welling in your eyes as you clutched the front of his shirt… nuzzling your nose against his… peppering kisses along his lips and cheeks…

And what did he do?

Told you it was a nice dream, of course. Sure, he had his fair share of fantasies, mostly that involved a quiet life with you. But that was all it was to Arthur, a fantasy. He could never actually leave the gang. No, he could never. Surely you knew that, didn’t you? You knew Arthur well enough to know he’d never leave these good people behind. ‘course, you couldn’t understand, could you? You’d been with the gang barely even a year, you couldn’t understand the love he held for these people. These people who weren’t just his gang but his family. How could you ask him to leave his family?

And that’s when Arthur knew you were gone for good. The way you had stared at him then, pulling away from him as if he had just stabbed you in the heart– in a way, he had. The tears still trickled down your cheeks in steady streams, but your desperation was quick to turn to hurt, to anger. 

“Thought maybe I was your family,” you mumbled then. “I see I was mistaken.”

What a goddamn fool he was to watch you leave. Not a word of protest left his lips as you leaped onto your horse and galloped off into the night, so easily abandoning the life you had built there, your life with him. 

The first few days, Arthur was sure you’d return at any minute. He dodged Dutch’s requests to join in on whatever senseless plans he had, sending Charles or Javier in his stead and instead disturbing Ms. Grimshaw with questions of “Anything else I can do for ya?” Whatever it took to keep him busy and in camp, awaiting your return. 

Every minute of every day, his eyes were glued to the treeline, ears perked and waiting for the sound of horse hooves. One evening, Arthur had been fetching water from the lake when he heard the thundering of hooves, some surprised voices. Immediately, he abandoned the bucket, tossing it carelessly to the ground before sprinting back to camp. 

You were back! You had to be back, it had to be you.

Quickly was he proven wrong. It was only Charles, a large buck strapped to the back of his horse.The excitement hadn’t been in celebration of your return, no, only in glee that at least one of the men was finally doing his part around camp.

My, that’ll keep us fed for days!

Finally, someone’s puttin’ in the work…

Arthur turned away with a frustrated grumble. Where the hell were you? 

He made his way back to the shoreline to retrieve the forgotten bucket, though not without noticing the snickers and jeers from Bill and Micah. Arthur had made no effort to hide his desperation to find you; the two of them had seen him drop his bucket and rush to camp clear as day. 

Not that Arthur cared. So what if they laughed at him? He wasn’t ashamed for loving you the way he did. 

Eventually, Arthur could no longer keep himself busy with chores. Dutch oh-so-terribly “needed” him for this job, some train robbery that would take him far outside of camp. Reluctant as he was, the work kept him distracted for the week. 

Except at nights when he lay on his bedroll– listening to Sean’s snoring and John’s sleep talking– wishing you were there beside him. He’d lay with his arm slung around your shoulders, pulling you close as you rested your head against his chest. He would trace patterns along your soft skin as you rambled about an argument you had with a local seller over the price of peaches or the old letter you and Tilly had found from Uncle’s second wife. Arthur would watch you intently as you spoke, burying his nose into your hair while he pressed delicate kisses to the top of your head.

But then the job was done, and Arthur was back at camp thinking of you every second of the day, no longer just at night.

By then, Arthur began to doubt your return. He worried about never seeing you again, loathing himself for all the terrible things he said and wondering if those would be the last words he ever said to you. Arthur was never much of a religious man, but he prayed to God that wouldn’t be the case.

For a few days after that successful robbery, Arthur tried to keep a steady head. He tried to go about his business as usual, which only proved impossible when he was so distracted by you. So in a final attempt to put himself at ease, Arthur took a few days away from camp to just… spend some time on his lonesome. He occupied himself with hunting, fishing, riding, the usual. 

But mostly, he remained huddled in his tent with his journal in his lap. He focused on drawing but found that he could only draw you. He couldn’t help it. For Christ’s sake, he couldn’t even draw his damn horse who was standing right in front of him! When his attempts at drawing failed, he tried to write which proved equally as miserable. 

With nowhere to go and nothing to ease his worries, Arthur decided he needed to be punished for what he did. Maybe then you’d come back to him. And if you didn’t… maybe it would at least help him to not feel so guilty. He doubted it.

That brought him to the nearest saloon. And there he sat, scanning its patrons for someone strong enough to give him a good beating.

But his eyes were drawn instead to a young couple tucked away in a far-off corner, holding each other tightly as they swayed to the hum of music. Arthur watched as they clung to each other, away from the noise of the saloon and huddled away in their own little world. The moonlight fell beautifully upon the pair, revealing bright teeth that smiled lovingly and crinkled eyes as they shared a quiet laugh. Their love was radiating so purely off of them, making it as though they were the only two people in the world, the only ones they would ever need.

For a moment, Arthur thought he saw you. He could picture you sitting across from him now, the image so vivid with the way you would lean your elbows on the table just to be closer to him. You would watch him silently, though he could see hundreds of thoughts behind your eyes. And somehow, Arthur would know that one of those hundred thoughts was a desire to dance. So without another word, he would stand and offer his hand to you, the corners of his lips quirking into a smile as you beamed up at him and took his hand in yours. He’d pull you flush against his chest, one hand holding yours while the other found its place on your hip. You’d knock his hat back affectionately, complaining how you couldn’t see his pretty eyes. Arthur would laugh quietly, making some remark on how they weren’t that pretty, a claim you’d be quick to refute. 

But no, that couldn’t happen because now you were gone. His beautiful girl, the kindest soul had had ever known… The one so perfectly crafted to him he couldn’t even begin to imagine a life without you. Even now, when you were nothing but dust in the wind, Arthur couldn’t imagine his life without you. 

What an idiot, what a fucking idiot. 

Only he could be so foolish as to give up something as perfect as you. Goddamnit, he should’ve run away with you. He should’ve taken your hand and run. Run far, far away and never once look back. Sure, he loved the gang, but his affection for them could never outweigh what he felt for you. He knew then that he could never be as happy as he was when you were in his life.

“You fool…,” Arthur growled as he pushed away from the table and marched outside.

This late at night, the small town roads should have been empty but they were teeming with handfuls of people, workers scurrying to get home and families enjoying a cool evening walk. Arthur watched them from the saloon’s porch, leaning against one of its beams as he lit a cigarette. It was hopeless to think it would take the edge off. 

He released a billow of smoke from the side of his mouth as he glanced up at the moon. He could only hope that somewhere– wherever you were– you were looking up at it too, sharing this last peaceful moment with him.

“Thought that was you in there.”

Great. Now he was imagining your voice, the calming sound bouncing around his skull in a dull echo. Perhaps this was punishment enough, yearning for you in this way.

“I know you heard me.”

Arthur couldn’t help but be drawn to the sound of your voice, his eyes searching for its source despite knowing you wouldn’t be there.

Only… you were there. Standing in the road with your arms crossed protectively over your chest, there you were.

Jesus, he was hallucinating now? 

Arthur must have looked absolutely dumbfounded at the sight of you, your lips shaping into a small smirk. 

“I’m real, I promise.”

Arthur’s chest blossomed with warmth, heat creeping up his neck in a bashful blush. How was it possible you knew him so well that you could immediately tell– just from a look– he thought he was hallucinating?

Arthur watched intently as you moved to toe the dirt road, your nervous tension clear in the set of your shoulders and pursed lips. He put out his cigarette quickly out of respect for you, his eyes locked on you even as he tossed it to the ground. He wanted to move closer to run his calloused hands along the skin of your arms or even just to feel the warmth of your proximity. But he remained glued to the porch, his boots suddenly too heavy for him to lift his feet.

A long silence passed as Arthur stared longingly at you, your attention focused on a particularly fascinating pebble that you nudged idly. Arthur wished you would just look at him, but he knew he didn’t deserve to lose himself in the comfort of your eyes.

The silence finally ended when you kicked your pebble too far, just out of reach. With your only source of entertainment gone, you looked up at Arthur. He could see the way your shoulders sagged, though from exhaustion or disappointment he couldn’t tell.

The look on your face was expectant, waiting. He supposed you wanted him to say something. It was only fair. He was yet to say a single word, and with the way he just let you walk away all those nights ago… He owed it to you.

“What’re you doin’ out so late?” Arthur rasped. “It ain’t safe for ya.”

“You know I can handle my own just fine.”

“I know.”

And that was the truth. Arthur did know how well you could handle yourself, feisty as you were. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do everything in his power to keep you safe. You didn’t need him, but he would always be there if ever you did.

Assuming, of course, you would have him around.

A garbled noise left Arthur’s lip as he struggled to find his words. It was so difficult when you looked at him like that, your brows pinched together with confusion. You didn’t look at him coldly as you should have, only with concern.

“You’re, uh… you’re still around,” he said.

You idiot, ‘course she’s still around, she’s standing right in front of ya!

“Sure am.”

You moved to the side as a pair of young men squeezed passed you to get into the saloon. It was then that Arthur noticed how exposed the two of you were. Being just off the main road and standing so far apart– your voices echoing into the night– he was sure everyone in town could hear your conversation. 

Pushing off the porch beam, Arthur took a step back and gestured to a set of wooden chairs shoved up against the saloon wall.

“Why don’t ya come take a seat, sweet–?”

Arthur cleared his throat, hoping it was enough to hide the way he so desperately longed to call you sweetheart. But you had heard. He saw it in your knowing smile as you trudged up the porch steps, taking Arthur up on his offer and sitting down gracefully. Cautiously, Arthur took the seat beside you.

From the way you were sitting– with your legs crossed tightly and your hands gripping your knee anxiously– Arthur could tell you wanted to say something. He dared not speak, fearing that if he did you might never speak to him again.

“It was harder to leave than I thought,” you admitted suddenly, your words coming out in one quick breath. Another pause. “Guess I understand why you couldn’t leave the gang…”

Arthur sucked in a breath as he scratched his chin nervously. “Darlin’, I shouldn’t ‘ave–”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. I get it.”

For a terrible second, Arthur considered ending it at that, choosing to be silent. Again. 

No, he couldn’t do that to you, not again. You deserved better than that.

“No, it ain’t right. I did wrong by you. I shoulda been better.”

There was a flicker of hope in your eyes, mixed with the lingering pain. 

Arthur released a steady exhale as he took a moment to consider his words. Why was it so difficult to talk to you? You had only ever given him a safe, comfortable space to talk, to be vulnerable. Why was he struggling so damn bad now?

“Tell me what’s on your mind, cowboy,” you murmured, the same way you always did when his long silences persisted. “Why’re you havin’ a hard time?”

Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He deserved to be yelled at, he deserved your anger. But here you were, patient as ever, speaking in the kindest of tones. Lord, he didn’t deserve you.

“I guess… I dunno. I don’t wanna mess this up. I’m scared, darlin’… So goddamn scared.”

“Of what?”

“Losing you.”

There it was, plain and simple: he didn’t want to lose you, ever. 

He could barely survive a few weeks without you, how on earth would he survive his whole lifetime? However long it was.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Arthur repeated in a whisper, turning away from you timidly. “I can’t.”

He let his hat hang low over his eyes, hiding from your intense gaze. Only seconds later did he see you out of the corner of his eye, peeking forward to meet his eyes under the brim of his hat. Carefully– as if trying not to spook a startled horse– you reached up and tipped his hat back.

“Can’t see those pretty eyes.”

Arthur risked a glance at you. You offered him a loving smile. 

In that moment, he let himself hope, hope that his worst fear might not come true after all.

“No need for all that, they ain’t–”

“Oh, hush now. They’re real pretty.”

“Ain’t nothin’ special…”

“They’re special to me. Ya know why?”

Arthur hummed in encouragement, his brows furrowing. He couldn’t believe there was anything that special about his eyes.

“’cause whenever I look in them, all I see is love.”

And when Arthur looked at you then, he looked at you with just that.

“Well… it’s ‘cause I love you.”

It didn’t matter if you left him, it didn’t matter if this was the last time he ever saw you. It wouldn’t change how he felt, would never, ever change the way his heart swelled with so much love at the mere thought of you that he didn’t even know how to handle it. He’d love you if you left, he’d love you if you stayed. He’d love you with every breath, even his last. And even then, when he was long gone, he’d still love you.

Arthur waited for you to speak, the anticipation clawing at his throat. He swallowed hard to avoid choking on his own words, but the longer you said nothing, the more he feared it would be of no use.

“I can’t afford to lose a love like that,” you whispered sincerely. 

Maybe you didn’t say it, but Arthur could see it in your eyes. The same love in his eyes was reflected in your own.

“Talk about my eyes all ya like… they sure ain’t as pretty as yours.”

Your smile widened, a visible warmth spreading throughout your cheeks.

Arthur shoved his worry aside as he stood from his chair, offering his hand to you. You didn’t take it immediately, staring at his scarred skin silently. Arthur was hit by a wave of insecurity; he was almost tempted to pull his hand away with a quick apology. But before he could, your soft hand slid into his, and you let him pull you to your feet.

Christ, how had he ever gone this long without your warm touch? Already, his heart was pounding faster. And you were only holding his hand! He was sure he might implode the second he pulled your body against his.

Thankfully, he didn’t.

You took a step closer to Arthur, your chest nearly flush against his. Your hand remained entwined with his, your other coming to rest on his shoulder. With some hesitance, Arthur snaked his hand beneath your shirt and placed it on your hip, pulling you ever slightly closer. His finger brushed against your skin, reveling in your warmth.  

Inside the saloon, music continued to play. Faint as it was out on the porch, that didn’t stop the two of you from swaying to the gentle rhythm. You then began to hum softly, so softly that Arthur could barely hear that sweet voice of yours. He leaned closer to hear you, his cheek coming to rest atop your head in a way that felt all too natural. He worried then that you might pull away, but you did quite the opposite.

You rested your head against Arthur’s chest, snuggling closer to his warm skin and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Your humming slowly died down as you focused on the racing beat of his heart. This was a different kind of music to your ears. 

With your humming gone, Arthur took it upon himself to keep it up. He mumbled along the words to the muffled tune, pressing kisses to the top of your head between every breath. Together, you stayed wrapped in each other's arms. Every now and then, Arthur added a flourish that had you grinning like a little girl, his strong arms twirling you around and around. 

As he pulled you back to him, you stopped short to admire his rugged features. A smile tugged at your lips, one that Arthur wanted to kiss right off.

Instead, he met your unyielding gaze, mirroring your loving look.

“I ain’t losin’ you again,” he muttered.

He spoke it as a promise, a promise that he would never let you go again. Because if he did… he could never live with himself. No, you were the only thing that mattered, the only thing worth keeping around. He would never lose you again, his one and only.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

Is there something bad about the dunmeshi anime? Or were you just referencing the godawful name change it got

oh no, the dunmeshi anime is great - i was just joking about the inevitable phenomenon where the anime adaptation causes a massive spike in popularity, with all the bad takes and discourse and capital-F Fandom nonsense that comes with the territory

don’t get me wrong, i love it when good manga get worthy adaptations and i love that more people get to enjoy them, but i’d be lying if i said that it wasn’t also a little exhausting whenever something like dungeon meshi takes off and a very specific brand of annoying nerd gets smug and lowkey racist about “wow finally an anime that’s good unlike those oriental pervert cartoons”

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I guess I get why people are conflicted about it in the context of Ed and Stede's argument in ep 7, but I think it's genuinely impossible to read their sex scene in ep 6 as anything other than completely romantic.

There are two conflicting ideas going on here -

Ed and Stede had sex at a very emotional moment, when they were both coming down from the trauma of watching each other get tortured and Stede making his first intentional kill despite Ed warning him not to, and it would have been healthier for them to wait and just talk instead.

The sex itself was entirely consensual, they both enjoyed it a lot and had a good time in the moment, and it was romantic even though it was too fast (in the same sense Ed kissing Stede in s1e9 was too fast).

And it's perfectly possible for both of those ideas to exist at the same time.

We get plenty of hints that them having sex isn't the best idea. Stede is obviously deeply conflicted when Ed comes to check on him, and Ed still wearing his shirt when Stede closes the curtains tells us that he's not quite as ready as Stede, who already has his shirt off.

BUT those little hints do not detract from the romance of the moment! Not at all!

Stede clearly and obviously waits for Ed to nod his consent, and Ed deepens their kiss. The entire bed when Stede closes the curtains is lit up purple, the color we know from s1 symbolizes Ed's love for Stede. There are literally fireworks. It's all set to La Vie en Rose, and I get not everyone speaks French (I don't blame you, it's a godawful language) but the specific lines in this scene are, in my opinion, the most devastatingly romantic in the whole song: "in life, it's him for me, me for him. He swore that to me for life."

And the morning after, they're both clearly feeling great. Ed makes Stede breakfast while cheerfully humming, feels like opening up and telling him about the mermaid thing. They go on a cute little date, Ed seems genuinely happy Stede is getting famous (he's the one who suggests going to Spanish Jackie'z!).

It's only at Spanish Jackie'z, watching Stede having a great time with his fans and Jackie asking him if Stede knows about Ed's "wanting to be a regular guy" thing, that Ed starts panicking. He thinks that Stede will choose this over him and thinks he has to leave before Stede has a chance to leave him. Him saying that having sex was a "mistake" was said in the heat of the moment, and he clearly means that he wishes they'd just waited a bit longer. He's terrified his influence is "ruining" Stede in the same way Stede was in s1e9.

Like any other part of human relationships, sometimes sex can be consensual and fun and still not be at the right time. That's not a bad thing, it's just people being people and people are messy. I genuinely don't think Ed even really regrets having sex in the slightest; I think it was just an easy thing to latch on to as an example of how things were suddenly moving way too fast while he was panicking.

[wutheringmights]

Anyone ask for the commentary yet for the latest chapter >:3 *dies*

You’d be the first!

So this chapter is cursed. Let’s talk about that first. 

You probably noticed that my writing output has been in the gutter this year. I have not written half as much as I should have. There are two main reasons why. The first is that I finally decided to get off my ass and have a more enriching personal life. This means a lot more of my evenings and weekends have been spent exploring other hobbies or taking weekend trips. I don’t regret any of those, and they have really improved my life overall (but I do write more when I am a sad little shut-in).

The second, more pressing reason was that there was a very important wedding I was the maid of honor for. That means I have spent a lot of my free time this year planning a bachelorette, a bridal shower, and helping with general wedding prep. I honestly was not nearly as busy as an expert maid of honor would have been, but all of this took up so much of my brain space that I was having trouble being creative. Multiple times, I would go to a coffee shop with plans to write, only to spend the entire time stressing about buying a new dress or researching hotels. 

I did not realize how stressed I was about this whole thing until literally this week. The wedding is over now, and I am already biting huge chunks into the upcoming chapter. I just have so much more brain space to write. I feel free. 

All that’s to say that this chapter was primarily written the month leading up to the wedding, and my head was Not There. I was struggling to figure the chapter out, and that struggle is reflected in the quality of the prose. For that, I apologize, as inevitable as it was. 

I won’t make any major revision to this chapter, but I have plans to redo my proof-reading. There is an egregious number of typos in this chapter, more than I consider acceptable for a one person team of me. 

(That being said, my typos have gotten worse this past year; ever since AI was integrated into Grammarly and Google Docs, both have been godawful for helping me fix errors. I appreciate how lenient you all have been with my most blatant mistakes.) 

Now that all of that is established, let’s talk about this chapter.

This introduction to Proxi is really, really bad. I am frankly a little embarrassed that I went ahead and published it. While I had a vision for the first few scenes of Link trying to help Proxi and Jakucho’s aid afterwards, I didn’t realize until the day of writing that I actually had 0 plans for how Warriors and Proxi’s first conversation would go. 

I am not even joking. I have a bunch of plans for their interactions together afterwards (which will appear next chapter). But their first conversation once Proxi started to get better? None. 

So what little they talked together here feels like a waste of space. What’s worse, I don’t even know what I would change the dialogue to in order to fix it. My brain is blank. I don’t know.  It’ll probably hit me in a few weeks. This is the trouble with publishing what is essentially the first draft of a story. If my initial ideas are solid, it’s great. But when my brain farts, I’m screwed.

That being said, my favorite part of the past section is that first half where Link frets over how to help Proxi, as well as Jakucho’s speech about the fairies disappearing. 

I have been trying to subtly establish this era of Hyrule as being one that is shocking devoid of magic; having Jakucho mourn the loss of fairies and what omen that could mean feels like I am ruining things. Nonetheless, I just really like the idea of Jakucho having this small moment of wonder over seeing a fairy, as well as her verbalizing these fears that darker times are ahead. 

I think I just enjoy reading about older people having the same anxieties about the world as younger people. It’s more comforting to me than an all-knowing mentor. 

So this chapter has a lot of random names splattered all over the place. Me being me, I stole some of the names from other media and such I enjoy. I’ll point out any fun connections as I find them. 

So for Proxi’s list of names for Link, there’s two of note. The first is Grimshaw, which is the name of the male lead from Lightlark. Despite how much I talk about Fourth Wing on this blog, Lightlark is the bad book I am truly passionate about. 

The second is Wen-li, which is for Yang Wen-li from Legend of the Galactic Heroes. He’s the character of all time for me, and I will go insane if I think about him for too long.

This Proxi section was supposed to go on a little longer, but by the time it came to write it, I was 100% over this chapter. Luckily, next chapter will be a fresh slate and I can finally deliver on all my promises about Proxi’s return. 

I cannot emphasize enough how frustrating it is to know that I fucked up an important character’s return. It’s... sigh. C’est la vie. Whatever. 

Onto the present day:

So I have a particular problem with the present day section. The last chapter, this chapter, and the one I am writing now are all the same plot point in my outline. I severely underestimated how long the lead up to a Very Important Event was going to be. No doubt, I have probably made similar mistakes before. But I am trying to finish this story, so any time I have to draw out the pacing, I die a little on the inside.

I think I initially planned to just skim over how Warriors got to the castle, but then I realized that this was the politics stuff that is the supposed bread and butter of the story. But the reason why I wanted to skim over everything was (as Legend pointed out) fucking networking.

What’s worse, I got to this chapter and realized that, realistically, Warriors should have to spend at least a few months building up a cult of personality. This should be a (purposeful) multi-chapter arc. I don’t want to do that, so I tried to really emphasize how much Warriors was using his reputation as the hero and legends surrounding it to his advantage. Does it still feel unrealistic? Yeah, but we’re just going to have to cope with it. 

Sevas is named for the male lead in Ava Reid’s Juniper & Thorn, which was sitting on my desk when I realized the priest needed a name. 

Colonel Remarque is named for Erich Remarque, author of All Quiet On the Western Front. I think I had made a post name-dropping him around the time I got to this character.

Matthew Thorn... again, Thorn is for Reid’s book. Matthew was just the most bland name I could think of. 

Vlad Dubarry... so I was watching both Castlevania and Rose of Versailles and took the first and surname from both respectively. 

Between the conversation with the priest, the provost office, and Remarque, I was trying to give out a few more details every time to paint a clear picture without boring the reader by reiterating information over and over again. Unfortunately, I still managed to write three pretty boring scenes. 

That being said, I think the friction Remarque offered was interesting to write, even if I had to resist pointing out every single plot hole during it. 

So everything from the castle to Spirit being poisoned took me the longest to write. I knew it was boring, but I could not figure out a way to make it more exciting without omitting the networking stuff entirely. I didn’t really hit a stride with this chapter until I got to Spirit being poisoned. 

The entire time Spirit was being poisoned, I was rubbing my hands together maniacally. I have been searching for a good moment to have a true poisoning in this story and I finally got it. 

Also, I think if this chapter was of higher quality, someone out there would have realized that, for purely medical reasons, Hyrule had to technically give Spirit and smooch on the lips. There should be at least two very silly memes about this. But, alas. The quality.

You can tell I ran into the realization that, realistically, the Royal Guard’s structure would be more complex than I have alluded to previously. Very importantly, you can tell I realized that I should have mentioned the King’s Guard sooner if they were really going to be this powerful subsection of the Royal Guard.

I actually like how the idea that the King’s Guard is only super powerful in matters relating to the king, aka: Castle Town, and is pretty insignificant otherwise. The bureaucratic bullshit that must cause feels very real. But you can tell that I have no idea what rank that would make Endicott. I have been bending over backwards to not state that man’s ranking. 

That being said, his absence from Warriors’s social circle until now is kinda important. Put a pin in that. It will come back.

Also, Endicott is a name I stole from Over the Garden Wall. I picked it because it sounds like the name of someone important. I picked Roald at randomed.

I am really happy that a lot of you have been enjoying the growing distrust the Chain has for Spirit. Insert rant about how victims have to remain palatable in order to be emphasized with, and how tragic it is that the only person who seems to understand that is the person who traumatized him in the first place. 

I feel like I have been fumbling Time’s character a bit, and his conversation at the floor of Spirit’s bed is me finally getting back on track with him. I enjoyed writing that so much, from him trying to fold the scarf to him being upset that no one has learned their lesson yet, all while still not learning a lesson himself. 

There was going to be a comment somewhere that Spirit is in such bad shape in part because his lungs are weak from all that smoking he does, but I honestly don’t know if anyone but Spirit would make that connection. 

I also need to put Legend and Midna together more. They can be so snarky, and I want them to keep a running commentary of Warriors and Spirit’s bullshit like they are two sports announcers watching a football game.

I first imagined Spirit and Warriors’s conversation taking place on the parapet, and came to the same realization about the ladders that Spirit had. I’m glad I put them by the moat, though. The bit about the smell is probably my favorite bit of prose in the chapter. 

I also really like this conversation between Spirit and Warriors. It’s not as insanity inducing as their past bullshit has been, but it hits a few notes. I like Warriors showing off how much he understands Spirit’s abilities (via the jacket), as well as Spirit’s utter disbelief that Warriors is capable of caring for anyone but himself. 

I was also trying really hard to put more of their bullshit into subtext. I have a bad habit of having characters just state what they are feeling out loud, so I am trying to write more coded dialogue. It’s never just about a toaster, etc. 

Warriors was also having such a night of self-discovery. First he had a little moment to freak out about how much his sincere attempts to help sound like manipulation. Then he realized that he would probably never be fully exonerated from his past. Big night for him.

Being unable to fully fix your past is part of the reason why I buffer against the idea of Warriors having a redemption arc. That implies a certain amount of undoing that is just not possible. I don’t know if I am putting that well. However, I am concerned that I am letting my Catholic upbringing color my perspective.

That being said, if Catholicism was a thing in Hyrule, Warriors would be that and be plagued by Catholic Guilt

He’s Catholic coded.

Irish Catholic, to be specific. There’s a difference. 

Anyway, Four. When Four showed up, I was going to have this bit of dialogue where Spirit would allude to knowing about Vio (and therefore, Four) having a relationship with Shadow. It would have been nestled in a larger, coded bit of dialogue where Four would obliquely imply that he was starting to suspect what the Hot Mess is. I cut it because A) Spirit is so socially inept that he cannot do subtly like that, and B) Spirit’s spirit senses would not give him the ability to know about Shadow. 

I also did not want to commit to Four figuring it out first, if at all. 

I have so many ideas about what Warriors the Symbol means to the people of Castle Town that I will hopefully be able to elaborate on in this upcoming chapter.

Realistically, Hyrule Castle should probably be more like a fortress. But again, I have been watching The Rose of Versailles, and I just really liked the idea of the castle being this symbol of opulence during a time of poor economics. The people are struggling but the nobles are thriving, babes. 

Also, Endicott is so much fun to write. He’s like the true antagonistic version of Lincoln. That man was enjoying making Warriors squirm, and I was having a blast writing it. The sexual favors line? I was utterly delighted. 

Realistically, Endicott probably could have been replaced with Whitestone. However, Whitestone is still on the front and I don’t regret putting him there to be Wind’s superior during his short stint as a soldier. (Even if I still think I could have cut out Whitestone in favor of giving Impa more to do.)

I also feel bad for killing Meemaw off so suddenly, but I was enchanted by the idea of her name having to be crossed off because the death was that  recent. 

I also was going to have Endicott spare Warriors for unknown reasons, with the reveal that Ganondorf had been bribing him coming later in the story, However, I was so worried about this seeming too-easy for Warriors that I decided to reveal that detail early. 

Okay, King of Hyrule stuff.

I’m trying to play at this idea of Zelda’s reputation not matching her actual role. Earlier in the story, Warriors describes her as a socialite with no political sense, and Zelda derisively thinks that of herself as well. Then that bit about her being the face of the kingdom is supposed to contradict that perception. She can’t just be a socialite if she had been the mouthpiece of the king since she was a child. 

There’s supposed to be multiple mistakes going on here: Warriors assuming the worst of Zelda, a sexist perception of Zelda by society as a whole, and Zelda feeling worthless because she knows she’s just a symbol. Not sure if I conveyed any of that well. 

Reuenthal’s dementia was caused in part by a stroke, but he also has a condition called prosopometamorphopsia, which is a form of face blindness where faces become distorted the longer you look at them. 

Fun fact is that I generally knew that there was some kind of condition that had made Reuenthal isolate from other people, but I did not pick prosopometamorphopsia until I read this article from the New Yorker. I won’t go as far as to say that I wrote an accurate version of the disorder; I definitely played up the emotional distress it causes for dramatic effect. That is probably problematic, so please do not trust this story as a definitive source on it. 

This also went unsaid in the story, but I imagine that because every daughter in the royal family is named Zelda, they probably go more by their middle names. I almost named dropped one of her sisters as Zelda Artemis, just to be mean.

The last line “A week later, everything went to hell” is, admittedly, very silly. I had a whole section describing what that meant written, but it seriously sucked. I am in the process of rewriting it now, and it’s already so much better. Plus, now that I have another chapter to hit these plot points, I can explore a more daring version of my original idea. Very excited for it. 

That being said, I would 100% cut off that last line and probably improve the chapter by 3%.

And that’s the chapter! Again, I am so sorry that it was such substandard quality. I promise that the next chapter will be better. 

In other news, can I get your opinion on something. Ever since polls came out, I have wanted to do a little census poll on how many people know about CTB, read it, or choose to read it. Just to gage how big the actual audience is. 

On one hand, I think it would be interesting. On the other, it’s a practice in vanity that is very antithetical to how hard I try to be nonchalant about everything. I don’t know. Let me know what you think. 

[roe-sesandthorns]

unfiltered thoughts on deadpool & wolverine

first, lemme just say I enjoyed the movie. it was a first movie-in-cinema experience after a looong while and I saw it in 3D. granted was a bit unwell so mayyybe that influenced my experience idk.

spoilers under the cut

is it an enjoyable movie? YES. absolutely. i liked the comedy, liked the characters, liked the plot (generic but we'll get to it)

there was obviously a lot of love and care in the movie, for ALL the characters - not just the main ones but also the variants of older marvel movies (or non-movies) like Electra, Blade, and Gambit.

the fight scenes were as always amaaaazing

the dynamic between wolvie and dp was beautifully done

basic premise of the movie works wonderfully. especially given the previous movies as well as the in-universe explanation.

they handled the multiverse thing a bit better than the other ones. there is a legit reason for deadpool to go through the multiverses looking for wolvie to fill in the gap Logan left in his.

speaking of, i was confused how deadpool was in the 616 timeline (which, still fucking bitter they decided to use that for the MCU shitshow) for the meeting with Happy and then 6 years later in the 100005-whatever-the-fuck of his universe if both of those happened after the second deadpool

OR the meeting w Happy was before deadpool 2 and then he goes back and creates the alt timeline which leads to 10005 or whatever. the second option makes more sense so that's what i'm going with.

still confused about how deadpool changing the timeline affected the Logan universe or if they merged cause Logan's death cause the destablisation but wouldn't deadpool's timeline be a new one with some other anchor being - possibly deadpool

anyway, they very strongly claimed that deadpool wasnt the anchor being - which, so many misdirects in the movie that deadpool leans into as almost a mouthpiece for the audience and then they pull the bait-and-switch

sidenote: the misdirects were well done, it didn't cheapen the "twist" or surprises. deadpool's (and our logic) was the obvious track before they flipped it. so no gripe there. it was a good use of calling out the thing then adding a twist or surprise.

anyway the anchor being and the timeline TVA stuff was (as usual) a bit annoying and hard to follow at times logically BUT this is also a superhero movie and it DOES obey its own in-universe laws so the problem I have with Marvel's TVA shit is a personal opinion and not a reflection of the movie itself.

also the movie (through deadpool) IS aware of how godawful the multiverse shit in Marvel has been - and honestly, I agree w DP - fucking stop w the multiverse shit Marvel. it's not fun anymore cause you dropped the ball a long time back. (Multiverse of Madness, anyone?)

I had mixed feelings about wolverine's backstory on the initial watch

they hyped it up as him doing this unthinkable thing and him being irredeemable and then they are like oh no, he just didn't answer when they called. and it was like.... okay, and? I kept waiting for there to be more or the story to be different. the real revelation was that he had started killing people. and killing indiscriminately using the xmen uniform. this was given in the middle of a crucial high tension point

i see the appeal in doing it this way - logan was hiding his REAL sin deep within himself. he wouldn't offer it up to someone especially not someone he had just met hours ago. and in hostile territory. that's not him.

secondly, the impact of the revelation I feel was supposed to be more earthshattering than it ended up being. it was meant to be a huge shock. but after seeing him claw through people (and deadpool) repeatedly taking kill shots and after so much DEADPOOL level of Rated R violence, it landed a bit too softly for the moment to make an impact.

it was later as I thought about it that I was like, oh shit yeah like that was a big ass deal and his whole relationship w charles and the guilt he feels etc... that emotional weight didn't land in the middle of the moment. especially cause it was immediately followed by him quipping at Cassandra and trapping her

so was it true? must've been cause she was in his head.

does he feel the guilt the same way? that's what he says.

does that show in the aftermath of the moment? kinda, when he decides to spare her for charles.

but idk, it just didn't hit the way they might've wanted it to hit. Maybe allusions to him being a murderer or something before? set it up? his mistake was catastrophically world ending or at least world impacting. the loss of the x-men was not set up previously or alluded to soooo it rings a bit hollow.

maybe dropping a few hints before the reveal would have helped.

ALSO, sidenote but how tf did humans end up killing ALL of the x-men?? that seems v unlikely given that they are the fucking X-MEN. idk maybe i missed something.

Moving on...

as a deadpool AND wolverine movie, it delivered. there were some really amazing moments - the danceoff obviously, the cameos, the misdirects, the action sequences were amazing

am I a bit tired of seeing the "lose vanessa - save the day and vanessa - get back w vanessa" cycle for the third time? yeah. I mean I get he loves her and all but it's a bit too cyclical to hold impact. like cool, again? really?

again, not a plothole, a personal preference.

would have loved exploring more of wade's dalliances like shiklah or even Death. would;ve been cool.

not that I am mad about a decent mostly healthy relationship and a stable love interest in a Marvel movie (v tony stark-pepper potts coded)

speaking of stability, or lack thereof, I felt like this movie in particular did not delve as deeply into deadpool's unique mental headspace. i was hoping sometime they would bring in the more debilitating aspects of his mental health (the boxes, the hallucinations, the suicidal/self-harm tendencies) but I get that it might be a bit too grimdark for Fox/Disney

would've been nice to have a bit more of that aspect of his character

although who's to know maybe MCU wade's support system helps him be a bit more well adjusted

also why the emphasis on Peter? is it for a joke cuase he's just some guy? is it a cheeky peter parker jab? is it both? it's mildly funny so i don't mind. just meh about - again, personal preference.

ok something that's more objective:

i think there were too many 4th wall breaks. it was fun, the references were amazing. some of them were really good. loved the opening one, the one where he smashes the camera, and some other moments.

but after a while it felt stale or too much. the jokes did hit. it's not like they were unfunny like the rest of marvel's humour

some of the deep cuts were D E E P but it's not even about the content. deep cut references are a staple for the character.

but just the frequency of the meta jokes and the 4th wall breaks was a bit excessive?

but then again, deadpool isn't deapool if he isn't a bit annoying or excessive. my guy's the arachetype for a comedic motormouth

the woke-jokes were funny but not as edgy as he could go. I felt like the jokes were a bit too tongue-in-cheek to make them almost cringe? but whatever. they played it safe and i'm not mad about it.

as a movie, it felt a bit too attention grabby in the wrong way. there was a "aren't i so clever" or smarmy marvel overtone of "look at us being self-referrential and allowing you to laugh at us becuase you've been joking about our products being shit but when we allow ryan reynolds to do it we beocme edgy and cool and don't u wanna buy more now? look we got so much to sell you? did i tell you RDJ is coming back? which, holy fucking shit fuck that shit it sucks "

maybe it's just my anti-marvel agenda idek

still, sometimes just having fox's logo in the back rather than pointing it out is enough ig

for someone who was and is so tired of Marvel, it was a refreshing movie

i enjoyed it, it was a decent movie, a good deadpool movie not as good as the previous two and a GREAT deadpool and wolverine movie. does that make sense?

i never really cared for wolverine much in the past decade but this movie made him cool again, which was awesome

the teamup and dynamic was great

marvel needs to learn to give people who love the characters (not just their own but OTHER characters esp the oft forgotten ones) and want to do them justice more creative control and let them tell the (hopefully self contained) stories rather than focusing on playing join the dots behind the scenes OR try to catch attention through shock value

it doesn't work. it's like jumpscares in horror. you pay attention for a second cuase you're startled but the real impactful horror is the one done through themes and story - not a loud bang.

altho i have a feeling that the lesson marvel is gonna take is about shoving more and more (esp obscure) cameos in a work than actually doing justive to characters and stories

oh, also. it goes to show that the two best received (so far) movies post Endgame have been the multiverse ones with nostalgic characters

MCU's """sacred timeline""" is fucked because of them. people want to feel what they felt like watching the older more self-contained stories like the x-men or the tobey spidey movies

it's not jsut nostalgia, it's about story and characters and HEART.

phase 4 is proof that marvel doesn't have a heart.

parting thoughts: the only interaction i want from deadpool and the main MCU is with spiderman. preferably andrew garfield but i'll take holland in a pinch.

I have hope that as long as ryan has the reigns his deadpool projects + appearances will always have heart.

And I have NOT touched on how GAY (non-derogatory) the movie is and I think I need another long rant for it cause goddamn the movie is queer af and I love it. the euphemistic van scene alone GODDAMN.

it's like ryan and team were NOT here to play - deadpool is queer, get with it or perish. love that energy.

Edit: the set pieces holy shit. it was a gorgeous movie that was shot amazingly and the practical effects and CG were ON POINT. LOTS of attention to detail.

[smokerswifey]

Okay this might be a hot take but bear with me.

Their is nothing actually wrong with Graylu

They're both adults with no weird age gaps, they aren't related or anything and they are quite good friends and are both pretty people so ig it's normal for some ppl to ship them .

It's just not some peoples cup of tea but at the end of the day there is nothing technically, morally or ethically wrong with it.

I think the reason that I don't fw with graylu like at all is because of their godawful fandom.

Maybe not all of you lot, so don't feel targeted but a bunch of the fandom are kind of assholes.

Harrasing gruvia or nalu shippers and bashing natsu and juvia just to invalidate your ship.

Plagarising gruvia and nalu fanarts to make it graylu, when that's actually extremely disrespectful to the original artists.

Creating weird and frankly disturbing theories about natsu and juvia being "rapists" like bloody hell.

Then crying and acting innocent when gruvia and nalu shippers retaliate or defend themselves acting like they're the "bullies" when a some of you guys start a lot of crap as well.

Not saying that gruvia and nalu shippers haven't acted idiotic before but some of you aren't elping your case by acting like morons as well.

Like jesus they're all literally multiple blogs dedicated to hate on Juvia and imagine disturbing shit about her like do you even like graylu or do you just hate Juvia lmao ??

Anyways sorry to the normal graylu shippers tho it must be annoying to be grouped with such moronic people and you guys probably can't even enjoy your ship in peace .

I used to tag anti juvia post on the graylu tag to get back on some graylu shipper who kept harrasing us on twt and tumbr but I now realised that it was petty and low and that I was stooping to the level of those deranged morons so I will now stop.

Would love to hear more about why you like graylu and everything cause even as a gruvia shipper I am genuinely interested to know.

OK I'll shut up now, bye :D

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiiiiiiii how are you? Id like to request a farah with a extremely hyper energetic and bubbly reader🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hello! I'm doing fine! I went to my country house for the first time this year and grilled some sausages and meat with my parents, so I had a pretty good day today!

Farah with an Energetic and Bubbly Reader

It would most definitely be different from what she’s used to, being surrounded by serious, and mostly grumpy people at all times. But it’s not like you could blame them either, they’re at war and need to be alert, not having the time to be cheerful. SO having you along is definitely a breath of fresh air. Someone, who doesn’t think of all the bad things that could happen at any point in time. You’re always up for an adventure, even if Farah doesn’t always have the time for them. Don’t get me wrong, she’d love nothing more than to explore the world with you, go inside every forest and every cave just to see some cute animals and maybe pet them, but she can’t unfortunately. Even so, she can appreciate you being this bubbly, it’s nice. You may talk a lot, but that’s alright, sometimes she’s too tired to talk anyway and lets you take the lead. Not having to think about all the godawful things war brings with it for a few moments is nice, especially if it’s because of a loved one. Besides, you’re always in a good mood, and it rubs off on her as well, leaving her smiling and thinking about the time you pet a cat and ushered her to do the same as you held the mammal out towards her. You having a lot of energy can be a bit exhausting to her at times, though. Sometimes, when she’s tired, she just wants to rest a bit, but you always wanna do big things with her. She’d love to, again, but she can’t always. But once all of this is over, she’s gonna take you to an amusement park. Not because she’s never been to one, definitely not because of that, but because they seem like something you would enjoy. However, on those days where she has a bit more energy as well, you’re more than welcome to dance with her, or maybe even race each other to the top of one of the hills nearby. Farah wants nothing more than to share her country with you, especially the good things such as the culture and the landscape, so she would never say no to the both of you going outside when you can, provided the times are a bit more peaceful. If she’s feeling especially playful, or if you’re being too energetic, Farah will tire you out a bit by play fighting with you. Good luck trying to beat her. She may play fair with you, but that doesn’t mean she won’t go all out trying to get you to calm down a bit. However, she will apologize if she accidentally hurts you, such a thing was never her intention.

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

Hello! I come from your Wattpad and I don't know if this is allowed because I didn't see her under the characters you write for for Twisted Wonderland, but I stumbled across your Twist Oc and she's brain rotted my thoughts since. I was wondering if I could get headcannons of Cynder in a relationship with the reader, or just anything with her in general.

Plz ignore if it's against your rules, and thank you in advance!

I didn't think anyone would ever request Cynder so this is really unexpected but I'm so glad you like her! She's my pride and joy so I hope you enjoy these headcannons!

Warnings: gn reader, talks of short life spans.

Request: Yes.

Words: 731

Cynder Lynn

Being a closed off individual even before arriving at Night Raven Collage, the fae wasn't interested in petty companionship in any form. And that especially included those with short life spans. To be in a body of a hundred years was to be in a body you could feel dying.

Of course, Deuce, Ace, and (Y/n) thought otherwise. And that wasn't Cynders opinion to change.

“Hey, can we sit here? Cool, thanks.” The ginger plopped down at her table in the cafeteria before she could even usher open her mouth to form a proper answer. Typical of Ace, really. So, she closed her eyes and went back to her book after a moment, leaving the question unanswered.

Her first conversation with you was when the two of you happened to be paired up together in Crewel's class, the both of you situated in front of a brewing pot.

“Don't add that into the potion. You'll cause an explosion. Heart of a rat and the bones of a bat don't mix. Use a pelt of a frog instead as a substitute.”

After the first conversation it's like Cynder kept being pulled into them, one after the next. And soon enough, she was conflicted. Because she'd realized she'd started liking these little conversations. And your little smiles. She noticed the dimples of your cheeks or the way you'd subtly snort when you laughed too hard.

Life was full of hardships. And knowing her heart wanted to be around a human, a being with such a short life span, was a hard thing to face. But the heart will do what it wants. And she will face the pain later on.

When the two of you do establish a relationship, it likely would've been you to confess to her first. Unless she's undoubtedly certain you're showing an interest in her romantically, Cynder won't open her mouth to it.

As for the relationship itself, Cynder is happy to accompany you anywhere to do anything. Though her main interests lie in nature and the stars. She can name every constellation in the sky.

Though her favorite things to do with you are hikes, stargazing, drawing and painting, picnics, cuddling, watching movies at godawful times in the night when you both should really be asleep, and holding your hand when you walk.

Please, grab her by the horns and rip her down into kisses, she loves it. She loves any little quirk about you and everything you could ever offer up. Because those small little details especially are what makes you you.

Cynder likes to wrap her wings around you both when you're cuddling or stargazing, or anything really. She likes a good scratch on her wings too, the scales with puff out on you if you do so.

Being around her means being around the rest of Diasomnia a lot though, so I hope you don't mind the diasomnia folk that much.

She's a very good cook and most of all likes making many many stupidly small pancakes for you, though she can cook just about anything she puts her mind to.

Cynder isn't very fond of large crowds of people, though if you want to go to a party she will reluctantly go. She also isn't that good at speaking up on how she feels about subjects but give her enough time to trust and consult and she'll open up like a book.

She likes picking you up with her tail too. And being dragon Fae she can do so with relative ease. One moment you'll be walking and the next you'll be off the ground being held by her tail. Be careful though, because her tail is relatively sensitive.

Due to Fae not needing a lot of sleep most of the nights are spent with her curled up with you, deep in thought. After all, in her long life span this is just a fleeting moment in the hundreds of years she'll live.

But Cynder is quite sure it'll be the best hundred years of her life she's lived. You'll live on in her memory, forever.

[redwineconversation]

Olympique Lyonnais Behind the Scenes (Episode 5)

This covers the month of January. Better late than never but alas some of us have jobs that we want to keep and cannot be chronically online. The Behind the Scenes translations is one of those times where I wish I was technologically apt because then I could just upload the video and add subtitles, alas, neither OLPlay nor my technology skills will ever make that happen.

I have no shame in confessing to this - I didn't want to do this one because Carpenter is in it and I am so irked by all the fucking Arsenal fans/stans suddenly thirsting for her to join their godawful team after the abuse she is has gotten from Arsenal stans the past two years. To act like she should join that club after what those people have said / done is so completely tone-deaf. Likewise, suddenly using "le clean sheet" every time your goalkeeper does their actual job is not as cute/funny as you think it is. It's annoying. It's so fucking annoying.

I will also save those godawful stans the time and say that Lyon / Carpenter do not address Carpenter's engagement to van de Donk as Lyon is a serious club who doesn't use a player's personal life as a marketing ploy. The purpose of the Behind the Scenes is to get to know the players' mentality and thoughts about the month's events.

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; @OL Comms I feel like chipping in to contribute my Starbucks fund is the least you could do considering all the free work I am doing for y'all; how amazing would it be if some of you would actually get the mental help you so desperately need; y'all know the speech.

OLYMPIQUE LYONNAIS BEHIND THE SCENES (EPISODE 5)

Ellie Carpenter: We had a lot of games. We had Champions League games. I think it was a much needed break for everyone.

Selma Bacha: We really needed to have a break, because there are players who went straight into the World Cup so they didn't have a lot of rest. Everyone benefited from the break. For me, I went to Tunisia, where my family is originally from. So I had a great time with my family. And then we started up again. The break was short.

Damaris: It was good for everybody I think to go home, to be with our families and friends. Just to push football aside and enjoy ourselves. Yeah, that's always a good thing.

[OPENING CREDITS]

[TRAINING FOOTAGE FROM GIRONA]

Sara Dabritz: We went to preseason camp. It was really good. We spent a lot of time together. We had a nice hotel. It was intense but it's like that in camp. But I think it was good for us to prepare for the [second half of the] season.

Carpenter: The training camp in Spain was a nice way to come back at the start of this year to train well, to get the basics back, get back in the gym. And it was also really fun for the team morale. The camps with the team are always really fun. We have to work fun but also enjoy ourselves off the field.

Bacha: It was hard because you come back from break and you have to dig deep and work hard. So it was really hard because we had a fitness test over there.

Carpenter: The worst moment was probably the running test we had to do, the 1.5km [1 mile] sprint test.

Bacha: Honestly, that's when you realize that Olympique Lyonnais is a family. You can see it in the video clips, we're encouraging each other. The cohesion was top.

[TRAINING FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: My favorite moment was the team cohesion activity with the golf carts. Honestly it was so good. We had to do stuff - well, we had to do funny things. It was the best part.

Carpenter: Driving around the hotel trying to find clues, that was very fun.

[TEAM COHESION ACTIVITY FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, we knew we had Paris FC as soon as we got back from Christmas break. After having been off we thought it might be hard to come back and play against a top team in Europe, in France for sure.

[LYON - PARIS FC GAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: We got right into it. We know that those sort of games, they're going to very very big games because Paris FC is a really good team who has really improved and recruited really well. And honestly, it was a big game. We had to work for that win, so the game was won on mentality.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Paris FC has shown that they're a great team, they're a top team in Europe, doing well in the Champions League and, yeah. The intensity was high. I think you could feel that everyone just came back from holidays but we'll fight, until those last five minutes when we did score.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: Ah, Ada's goal, that's just Ada Hegerberg. That's it. There's no other forward who can do that. Honestly, when we celebrated - even I spoke in English, I said "what a goal". [Hegerberg speaks English when she's annoyed, which is why Bacha brings up the linguistic switch] Her shot was really incredible. You can watch it over and over. If you ask her tomorrow to do it it, she will. And it's true that she's the kind of player whom you can count on in big games. Everyone should have an Ada on their team.

Damaris: Yes, it was a magnificent goal. Speaking for myself, I was far back. It was a long ball, I headed it forward. I saw the ball stay there and I saw Ada [Hegerberg] call for the ball. When you're behind, you can see everything. Right before she took the shot, I was like "well, that's going to be a goal."

Carpenter: Yeah, she's a big game player, she scores big goals. So we needed that in that moment and she did that. So it was very cool.

[LYON - PARIS FC POSTGAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: Honestly, it's good for us and it gets us going. I think we've been really good since the start of the season. And when I talk with players on other teams, or other coaches, they tell me that Lyon this year is unbeatable, so I hope it continues like that and we'll bring all the trophies home.

Damaris: The work we did for that game, we worked really hard. I don't think we were really efficient but we had a lot of opportunities to score.

Carpenter: Yeah, I think it was important that we started the year off with three points and continue our perfect streak in the league.

[LYON - MONTPELLIER COUPE DE FRANCE GAME FOOTAGE]

Dabritz: We had the game against Montpellier in the Coupe [de France]. I remember Amel [Majri] scoring a magnificent goal. It was a right on target.

Majri: Yeah, I saw Lindsey [Horan], she won the ball back. I called for it, she passed it to me. I think Ada [Hegerberg] was besides me asking for it as well, but I don't know, I think I was focused on what I was doing. So I just took a shot and it went it.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: Yeah, it's really great. Good on her as well because you can see she is starting to get her rhythm back. It's not easy when you're not playing all the time. Here, honestly, I'm just so happy for her. I hope she continues like that because she's the sort of player we really need.

Carpenter: Yeah, I love playing with Amel [Majri]. Yeah, I think she's one of the best players in the world I've seen or played with. [is she though...] She's an amazing talent and you can see what she's capable of now when she's getting back to the top of her game.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: The team is in very good spirits at the moment, and you can tell that on the field. Off the field, we're a very close group and we work for each other. And on the field, you can see we're very connected. We're just enjoying ourselves out there, we're not too much pressure [on ourselves], we're just trying to play good football.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Majri: So really, when I went to call for the ball, I could see that even if I got it, I didn't think I could do much with it. So I said to myself, "Amel, leave it", so I left it and there was Ada [Hegerberg] and then a goal. And I thought - well I'm not going to lie to you, when I left I thought to myself "I hope she gets it". And to be frank she was doing great work before, because Lindsey [Horan] got past the opponent, and she [Hegerberg] just shot across. Honestly, it's a great goal.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Majri: Yeah, I'm happy because it's always nice to implicated in the build-up to a goal. I think that what I bring in terms of the style of play, I try to be involved in the ball movement, moving with the ball, moving without the ball. And I have good sensations, I feel good. Beyond that it's also the fact that I have been playing in consecutive games. But in terms of full games, I think it's one of my best performances since I have come back.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: I guess playing a team one week after the other, twice in a row, it's quite difficult. It was a different Montepellier we faced at their home as well, away. Yeah, it was a tough game, it was one we had to grind out. Yeah, we knew they were going to come out different, like after beating them in the Coupe [de France], we knew it would be a completely different game since they're at home, and they totally showed that.

Bacha: We know that the league and the Coupe de France have nothing to do with each other. We know that Montpellier is a very, very aggressive team. And we knew that playing at their stadium was going to be hard. But here, yeah, it was really hard.

[MONTPELLIER - LYON GAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: The night before the game, I was really focused on myself. I knew there were people coming to watch us, members of my family. And then, corner. It comes back to Eugenie [Le Sommer], who gives it back to me, and I was like - I knew exactly where I wanted to put it. So I pulled it in and placed it on Vanessa [Gilles]'s head. So really, really happy.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: It's that left foot, it's my left foot. What can I say. But beyond that, I work really hard. I know that I always want perfection. Because I know there are games where the crosses aren't good, but I really want perfection.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: My second assist for Ada [Hegerberg], it's vintage Ada-Selma. It's that connection that I think not a lot of people have. Honestly, with her, I know where she wants the ball and - honestly, I don't even have to look up. Because I cross, but I already know where she is.

Carpenter: Yeah, Selma [Bacha] is a great crosser, a great assister. Yeah, they're perfect, those crosses, pinpoint. If it wasn't for her we probably wouldn't have gotten the three points. So it was great to have her service [LOL at the Franglais here - the correct word would have been contribution], it allowed us to score goals.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: I remember that it was a very intense game. But it's always like that against Montpellier. It's always a game which comes down to the duels, to aggression. They came back with that goal, it was a game which was a little [Dabritz mimes going back and forth] But then we won it and that's the most important thing.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: We gave it all on the field. And it's normal to have games which are more complicated than others. And yeah, Montpellier is a good team, I can admit that.

Bacha: That's why I said that Olympique Lyonnais, the mentality - honestly, there are few players who can walk on to this team and say they already have that mentality. [@/any team other than Lyon. A blood lust isn't innate. It's learned behavior.]

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: We went to Austria for a Champions League game. Those are always special games for us. It's a particular game, playing the Champions League, those games are seen as the highest level.

[ST POLTEN - LYON PREGAME FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, you never know really, when you go to other teams, other countries, how the pitch is going to be. Yeah, the pitch wasn't great. But we made the most of it and we had quite a good game.

Bacha: A stadium which was ... [Bacha laughs] It was a complicated game. No, playing on that pitch was complicated, it was a bit hard. But we started strong. We attacked from the start, even if we were starting to feel the tiredness. But we attacked from the start and were playing simple. And honestly, we were very efficient as well.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE]

Dabritz: And yeah, we played a really good game, with a lot of goals and a really good performance from the entire team.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: [forcefully] We never underestimate a team. When you play simple and individually you're clean, technically you're clean, and you're all on the same wave length, honestly there are not - we're good.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Getting players back from injury, it's always nice, especially when they're providing assists and scoring goals. That's even better.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: Yeah, it was a good goal. [laughs] We really enjoyed ourselves on the field, we had nice combinations, we were explosive offensively. At least I think so. So we were really happy after the game.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

[TRAINING FOOTAGE / COUPE DE FRANCE LYON - FC NANTES FOOTAGE]

Bacha: Yeah, it wasn't an easy game because maybe in our heads, even if I think it's not really like that, but instinctively it's human nature and we underestimated them. FC Nantes came in with their game plan. They're a really good team, I was surprised. The first half was difficult. I think it's a little bit because exhaustion is starting to creep in. But the changes at half time did us some good and we were really efficient. The coach [Sonia Bompastor] yelled a bit at half time but it's normal. It's like that.

Carpenter: Yeah, I think fatigue comes into play there. I think it was our fifth or sixth game in a run. They were a different team, we hadn't really played them before. I think we can put that first half behind us and I think we really came out better in the second half. But yeah, I think we ended the game better than we started.

[LYON - FC NANTES GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Yeah, it was so nice to see Delphine [Cascarino] make her return from her ACL. Obviously it's such a long rehab, such a long journey. It's tough to have an injury and go through something like that, and it's her second one as well. But I think she's done an amazing job. You can see in the way she's come back, she still has her speed, has her footwork.

Bacha: It was a really good moment for Delphine, the return against FC Nantes. We saw her struggle, her mentality is just incredible. It's really hard to have the ACL injury happen twice, to have missed the World Cup when we were expecting her, we wanted her there. Now she had the mentality, she dug deep. I'm really happy to see her back because it will really do us good.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D / LYON - SLAVIA PRAGUE GAME FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, we knew we were first in the group and obviously qualified, but we also knew we needed to put out a strong performance [they did not]. We wanted to keep the flow going for how well we're doing this month [of January]. On game day, obviously not everything went to plan. Obviously I think fatigue played a little bit in that as well, but that's not really an excuse. We should be better. We had 10,000 people come and you know, the more people that come the better, at least for us. We want to perform well, put on a show, for them to come back again.

Bacha: First of all we have to thank the fans who come out and support us. They're becoming more and more, so we need to thank them and for them to continue coming out and supporting us. After, it was hard because - well personally, I could feel the exhaustion. Then Slavia [Prague] was playing with a really low block. They came to get something at Lyon, even if we were already first and already qualified. At the end of the day we're Olympique Lyonnais. It's not acceptable to have played that sort of game.

LYON - SLAVIA PRAGUE GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Yeah, it was very frustrating. I think games like that, you want to play the next game very quickly after so you can have a good reaction.

Dabritz: We were a little disappointed because we weren't happy with our performance. We wanted to show to the public that we can put on good performances, they came for us. That's why we were a bit disappointed. Beyond that, we want to continue, we always want to improve, progress. We always want to give our best. But it's not always possible.

Bacha: I'd rather it happened to us then than get to the quarterfinals and you're knocked out I hope it will serve as a lesson to us.

Carpenter: No team is perfect in the world. Some teams have draws or a loss and it's not the end of the world. I think we need to remind ourselves that we're also human as well. Not every game is the best game. January is probably the biggest month we've had in a long time. We knew we had a lot of games, we had to get points, play well, perform. I think as a team we did that great, especially as we have some injuries at the moment as well so we had to adapt. I think the team has held up well. We're ready for February.

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Ambush

And for now, back to the very start!

Real talk, part of the reason I was putting this off is because it STILL gives me such conflicted feelings regarding the Jedi & the clones relationship. And about Yoda, who is not my favorite but I hesitate to say I DISLIKE him because I do think he has fascinating angles but also I want to dropkick him like a little green football much of the time. I don't tend to talk about him much because I get Rambly.

However, his turn will come in a second, first things first: VENTRESS. Honestly it's still hilarious to me how if I had actually watched this show as a kid this woman would have single handedly led me to my sexuality like 7 years earlier than I managed it.

One of the clones kneeling to present Yoda with the communicator is SO cute. When the clones interact with beings much smaller than them........... I feel. But okay the first Complicated Feeling with Yoda is that I genuinely like him during the moment when he's marveling over the beauty of the moon and being a little playful. Kind of like I genuinely like him in the Original Trilogy when he's being a touch senile. Which just drives home how much I do not like him during most of his serious moments where his whole reputation for wisdom is used mostly to lead the plot around or say shit like his 'when our loved ones die we should be happy for them' advice to Anakin which, shockingly, didn't improve his Anxieties.

And he acknowledges the clones as individuals! It's a really sweet scene actually, and it starts the show out with the confirmation that yes these are people, they are full people with individual personalities. And then it gets helpfully ignored and Yoda never shows any concern about the clones as individuals again. Especially with the decision to retcon Jek in as one of the clones that Yoda straight up decapitates without pause or reflection.

Likeeee, this really undermines the feeling of the scene and sets an entirely different tone for Yoda's character to me, because it's such a strong moment in episode, so for it to never really come up with Yoda in particular again it's just. It's a weird decision, character tone wise.

Anyway this kind of ended up making me more resentful of Yoda in the long run? Because we get the immediate and obvious proof that he knows the clones are individuals, all of them unique and valuable, and then he proceeds to keep leading the Jedi through using them as tools for the rest of the war and ends up executing one of these same clones years later without pause or concern. If they had threaded this through a little more and given us more scenes like this it might not feel so stark? But that's also a big issue with the writing of the Jedi in general, where they lightly brush against the moral issues of the clones and then suddenly go "OH LOOK, LIGHTSABERS" and ignore it for 20 episodes.

My headcanon way of interpreting this is that Yoda was still very open early on but soon enough he starts realizing how many clones are going to die in this war. Each of them unique in the force. And since he's not really willing to push back against the Senate, for a variety of reasons, his other option is to just. Retreat back emotionally from the clones as individuals. Can't be consumed by negativity if you simply refuse to feel those bad things!

That said 'the force resides in all lifeforms' - increasingly loving this kind of drop in now that we know anyone can learn to use the force to some degree.

Another thing I enjoy is that I think that Yoda is actually really served design wise by the early season TCW animation. He looks good when he's stylized in the wood carving fashion.

This is much more of a flashy fight episode than a plot one, but any time clones are onscreen of course I can collect a pile of Thoughts about them. We also get a lot of battle droid comedy relief because they may be godawful fighters but at least they're funny. I think it does work better several episodes into the watch than it did as the very first episode, because watching the TCW movie (which was mostly excuses for long fights) and THEN this was a slog, but interspersing with other episodes that had a bit more substance to them made it feel like less of one.

Still. Vibrating about the clones even more in this watch because of having Hidden Enemy be so early on and calling attention to the clones horrifying situation makes my complicated feelings on Yoda acknowledging their individuality once and never again SO much stronger. Just. GAH. MY BOYS?

On a final note. Shout out to this fucking. Face. Ventress makes when she gets her lightsabers back.

Ventress the instant she's called 'young one': >:<

[astralprisms]

Random OC ask, summer game! ⛱️☀️🌊.

What your OCs or favorite characters would be doing on a beach? In case they absolutely can't go on a beach, what other summer activity do they enjoy?

Bonus level - once answered, pass this ask to 3 other people's inboxes!

This is so cute!

I hate that my first thought for Xa'rok would be "hot dog eating contest" but that was my immediate first thought. They'd probably win, too. This is a weird regional thing in summer but hey, bragging rights?

Skaro would get one of those beach recliners and lay back under an umbrella and listen to the water (drowning out the godawful sound of Xa'rok shoving hot dogs down their throat at light speed).

If the Emperor was there I feel like he'd take a nice floating stroll along the water and feel compelled to pick up shells but try very hard to resist the temptation and pretend he was above it all.

[phantomdoodler]

hey bud, youre totally right about the age thing, but as someone nearing their 30s with a progressively worsening illness… I do really have to say that I enjoy being older. like, on the mental side of things I seriously feel like I understand and know things better? and this also feels like a painful ironic joke because what’s a bedbound person gonna do with all this knowledge. yeah I fear the future of my disease too, but I also really, seriously love how much I’ve learned, and I’m only gonna learn more, even with this godawful brainfog stopping me from thinking or even reading sometimes

I dunno… just wanted to give my two cents as someone who feels both ways about aging!

I get what you're saying - I would never want to be in high school or have to live with abusive family members again. Some things are better, of course.

I've just been in my 30s for a hot minute and it's so, so tiring to see people talk about how Anything Is Possible as if doing things doesn't require more time, energy, or money than adults are permitted to have without inherrited wealth or a whole lot more vacation time than anyone gets here.

But I probably just have baggage from no one listening all those years I spent trying to explain that everything required of me wouldn't actually work the way people always said it should 🤷🏻‍♀️ It's the apparent attitude that none of these difficulties exist in the first place that gets to me when I've had to fight tooth and nail for each and every diagnosis.

[sunbeamstress]

i jumped on the Walking Dead train really late, but i got to finish the show with the fans and i thought it was excellent. it also marks the second or third time i've binged a piece of acclaimed media that became noteworthy for fucking over its fans - the last time was when i beat the mass effect trilogy, a decade late. i thought that was excellent too.

of course it's a lot easier when the game you're playing already has the patched-in ending option and all its DLC, and walking dead was definitely easier to get through since when season 5 ended, i could go right into season 6 without The Cliffhanger

it's clear that the show i watched wasn't the show that AMC presented. scrubbed of its social media gaffes and godawful pacing, it was honestly a thrill ride. it takes a little time to stumble its way through the first two seasons, and the third is definitely more of a slow burn of dread, but if you can punch your way through those you're rewarded with a tense thriller that rarely wastes its time - every scene demands your attention and reveals something new. the moment my life settles down again i want to binge-watch it all over again with a friend.

in my early/mid twenties, i'd fallen in love with an artsy little tech-fetishist webcomic about a few kids struggling to avert the end of the world. you might have heard of it, it was called Homestuck. it would go on to balloon into a very different sort of work from the one it began (i miss the Amiga graphics and quotes from poets/novelists), but also it was the first time i looked around to realize i was in the middle of a fandom. and in those days it wasn't a lovely sight.

my problem was i hadn't been inoculated against this sort of thing yet. from the moment i discovered the MSPA forums, it was impossible for me to experience homestuck without also crossing over to get a life feed of how the fans were enjoying it, and that was uhh, complicated. i have a lot i could say about Andrew Hussie as a creator and maybe one day he'll get his very own rambling not-quite-essay from me, but i maintain that i didn't get to enjoy Homestuck the way it deserved because i am the sort of person whose opinions can be influenced by others. you are too, don't judge.

i hold fast to my conviction that the best way to enjoy something is to enjoy it pure and alone, or with at most perhaps two friends whose tastes you can trust. all too often i've seen people try to make it through the walking dead, or better call saul, or mass effect, or homestuck, or anything, while tapped into the overwhelming torrent of fandom opinion.

it actually makes things worse.

as the internet is fond of saying: the walking dead was a hell of a lot better without a bitch in my ear telling me it sucked.

there's a lot to say about how they reused the same ol' same ol' plot: zombos force the crew to move, they get settled in, then they solve some zombo-related problems until the newest batch of Desperate And/Or Corrupt And/Or Treacherous Humans comes to prove that actually we were the monsters all along

except it's fucking dope? they bare-knuckle brawl a shitload of walkers in a prison and take it over? and then they fight a war with the neighboring town??

Terminus, to me, is a singular point in the show that stands out in my mind. it was the moment i was like "oh shit. i think actually like this show." nevermind the way they began cranking up the horror factor (watching them slit that guy's throat in the horse trough was wild), but then Carol shows up and fucking Judge Dredds the place?

and then we see Rick turn from do-gooder cop to feral den mother who is willing to rip a guy's throat out and fjksdhgfjkhgjkhg oh my GOD how did you people not like this show

and then:

it was genuinely incredible watching Rick's role in the universe transform. we see him as an agent who is only ever acted upon: first by the emergence of walkers, then by a revolving door of people he can't trust, people he shouldn't trust but does, and people who have a funny way of doing the right thing just when you expect them to fail you the most.

but it's no way to live a life after the world has ended, and he has to get tough. his role changes, quite quickly, from agent to actor, and now he is the one with the control. he's the one sniffing out your bullshit, doing that unhinged lupine head-cock of his, and sending you to hell at the end of a colt python.

maybe if i was a man, i'd feel a little of what the fans seemed to have felt when Negan showed up. maybe i would have put myself in Rick's place, and found a little vicarious pleasure in the feeling of being a respected leader, building a new home with my bare hands; maybe i would have experienced disappointment or defeat or whatever the moment a bigger guy with a bigger gun shows up.

but what i saw was a hornet's nest being stirred; the natural reaction of a world much bigger than you just when you've begun to think you might control some of it. negan wasn't some Bigger Guy, he was a symbol, a walking metaphor for how things are always going to go when men like rick try to purchase peace with violence. if it wasn't Negan it was going to be someone else. i adamantly believe the fans hated negan because negan was holding up a mirror to them.

when i go on about this show, i genuinely do love all of it (even the nightmarishly slow seasons 9 and 10), but the images in my head all come from season 5, especially when they raid the hospital back in the city. the walking dead does not disappoint with aesthetics. the sets were phenomenal.

long, dramatic shots of broken chain link fences, sun-baked highways, half-abandoned urban streets with boarded windows and nothing left but graffiti. honestly feels a little like my childhood. i'm an urbex bitch at heart and i never wanted ANYTHING so desperately as the chance to get in there with Carol and Aaron and Maggie et al, and go plumbing the tombs of Atlanta for rocket launchers and medicine.

and while i never want to see backroads or quaint country towns ever again in my life, i won't deny that the backdrops of rural georgia and virginia gave the walking dead a unique visual language, a kind of run-down western vibe that really helped cement the feeling that these were just regular salt-of-the-earth people, forced to do extraordinary things. most of my dreams now usually have the same hickory and pine trees that dotted the countrysides.

i don't really know what i was trying to accomplish when i began this post (it's the only way i know how to write baby!) but to summarize, i fucking loved this show. i genuinely hold it to be one of the seminal works of modern zombie horror and also just an incredibly good survival soap opera about what it means to be alive in a world that has violently rejected you. i'm genuinely glad i gave it a chance and i'm so grateful my brother recommended it to me. i love you, bro.

[tsukimon02]

VENT- Will delete later

Sorry for any negativity once again, but I’ll be frank: I have a LOT to unpack and a lot of negative feelings on my mind regarding my experience with G**shin (sorry for weird censoring again, don’t want this popping up in search results) OC X Canon community on Twitter and godawful people I encountered.

This is going to be very vent heavy but I don’t know where else to turn so again, I apologize for negativity and strong use of swearing language, I just gotta get this off my chest because I have so much anger and frustration I’ve been withholding for so long.

Do I miss being on G**shin OC x canon Twitter? Sometimes, yes, I do, because I genuinely enjoyed connecting with other fellow G**shin OC X Canon creators and learning about their OCs and ships. The people I encountered on the other hand, god, I wish I never fucking interacted with.

Long story short, we did become close and formed a little circle but they just ditched me without saying anything. To say I was furious was an understatement, because I genuinely felt betrayed and was triggered because I had been backstabbed in a similar manner from so-called “friends” IRL, multiple times, so I blocked all of their asses then they started acting like a bunch of pissbabies that I did so. Then again, I’m not surprised that they reacted, considering that most of them were barely past minor age (like 18-20 at most) and acted like toxic middle schoolers when things don’t go their way.

What’s worse is that one of said backstabbing bitches got all butthurt that I put their name on my DNI list and they manipulated my friend into messaging me to remove it because “it made them uncomfortable.” That’s the biggest bullshit lie I had ever heard in my life, especially since that bitch knowingly spread a PSA that they knew was full of lies and shit taken out of context about another friend of mine and they basically bullied them out of the G**shin OC X Canon community, and that bitch had the nerve to play the victim and paint my friend as a villain. It wasn’t just this fucking bitch that caused problems.

Another person I had the misfortune of also being friends with also let their friend group bully a friend of a friend out of the community as well because they took his words out of context and painted him as a villain. It gets worse, they straight up accused a 15 YEAR OLD of “copying” their OC just because of a similar color pallete and were shipped with the same character. And ofc they did play the victim card, like what the fuck-

It’s because of these bitches that I no longer felt safe doing G**shin OC X Canon on Twitter and deactivated. I miss sharing and talking about my OCs and ships but the fact that all of those backstabbing bitches are still there makes me uncomfortable. I want to speak up and call those fuckers out, but knowing them, they’ll just play the victim card and everyone will instantly forgive them.

I fucking hate those fuckers and wish I never interacted with them in the first place. I wish them all a Go Fuck Yourself and hate their guts so fucking much.

[absolute-flaming-trash]

Heya Riri! I'm sorry but I guess you're gonna have to be a Mahito stan therapist now. 😂 Well, okay. So, i loved the latest JJK episode. I really do. My heart was absolutely crushed when I saw Mahito so afraid and desperate to get away with his life. I know that he deserves it considering what he's done, but at the same time, I just want to protect him 🥺 next week is gonna be rough. 😢 But thank you for hearing/reading my thoughts. And here's a hug and headpat from a fellow Mahito simp. In fact, here's a hug and headpat for every Mahito simp out there... We're gonna need it 😭 P.S. I too find it amusing when people hate on him. But yeah, it can be annoying to see people post hate on his char tag 😣

Heh, I appreciate the headpats and I'm sure others do as well.

I won't lie I genuinely enjoyed the sequence mostly because Mahito feeling emotions he never has before is my favourite flavor of angst when it comes to him, and I hade an amazing conversation with @after-witch on why it's so tragic as well.

It's because of how new he is.

Yeah he did godawful things and delighted in the misery he caused, but he's never felt helplessness before.

Every single time he has felt anything relatively close to it, he has been able to use it to his advantage, like when he used his domain expansion for the first time during his fight with Nanami and Yuji earlier on.

But in this episode not only is he experiencing the absolutely crushing sensation of despair, he's experiencing it at a low point when he has no time to process it properly and absolutely nothing left to defend himself with. No more stockpiled humans, barely any strength. The only thing he knows with absolute certainty is Yuji's promise to kill him no matter what.

Justified? Oh totally, but also beautiful in terms of role reversal and imagery? Extremely.

Do I still want to put him in a jar and shake him? You know it. Especially with those whimpers he made, pure wet dog behaviour.