#enjoy this small interaction uwu

[allastoredeer]

What funny for me it's when I see some people in radioapple fandom saying why they can't see Alastor as a bottom is because "he would never be a bottom because of his ego!" (and right under a post with b!Alastor content, the nerve)

Meanwhile Lucifer, King of all Hell, Sin of Pride personified, the man who stole Adam's first wife and claimed to do the same with the second, and had two songs about how great he is compared to others: am I a joke to you?

EXACTLY! Preach Anon!

Lucifer's ego is just as big, if not bigger, than Alastor's. I was rewatching the show recently, and during the "Dad Beat Dad" episode, literally the only person he was nervous, bumbling, or awkward around was Charlie (and Vaggie, to a certain degree considering she's Charlie's girlfriend).

In every other interaction he was smug, arrogant, indifferent, unimpressed, or downright dismissive. His whole song with Alastor was just him flexing his power and getting more and more insecure & angry about how "close" Alastor and Charlie were. I think people forget that Lucifer is the Sin of Pride, and you can 100% see it in his behavior towards the other characters. Obviously, he got closer to the Hazbin Crew, especially during the last song in the finale, but that doesn't make his ego magically disappear.

And I love that about him.

I find his huge capacity to love (both Charlie and creation) so endearing, but it's better and so much more interesting, when it's paired with the fact that his ego gets bruised so easily. He's the most powerful being in Hell, while also being insecure as fuck, while also being the personification of Pride itself. Is that not the tastiest, most delectable character to ever character????

Look, yes, Lucifer is depressed. He and Lilith got divorced. He and Charlie were estranged to each other for years. He lost his will to dream after being cast out from Heaven. He spent all his time making little rubber ducks, locked away in his room. But that doesn't, by any means, make the man humble.

If you look at Alastor and say he's got too big of an ego to bottom, and then turn around and make Lucifer the most bottomy bottom ever, then I say go back and rewatch the show, cuz you're missing a few very important factors. Especially if you're basing someone's capacity to bottom on ego alone. (I, personally, love it when prideful, egotistical characters bottom. It's so much fun).

Mostly just...hhhhhh, please stop stripping away all of my short-kings most interesting characteristics. I don't want a small, wide-eyed, easily manipulated little UwU soft boi. I want snarky, powerful as fuck, insecure, egotistical, provocative short-king who gets pissy when his daughter talks to a homicidal deer man with a silly haircut instead of him (while also being very soft, loving, and caring). He's multi-faceted, and that's what makes him interesting.

Once again, this isn't me getting after people who enjoy top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer. Do what you want, I hope you're having fun. Just don't go commenting below other people's posts with shit like "Alastor wouldn't bottom because of his ego," when Lucifer is just as much of an egotistical little shit as he is.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[tickels]

TOBY HEADCANNONS!!

I had these laying around somewhere and borrowed some hc from others from all over the place..

Tw: sh

Toby is FTM (he/him)

It's all about personality to Toby, considering he hasn't interacted with people before into the sender mansion.

When you mess with his hands, it clams him.

Toby has gloves to cover up his scars to cover up his hands

Toby carries a notebook occasionally to write down things that he might forget and how to approach each person he has talked too.

Toby can’t remember a single thing about his life prior to becoming a proxy. Despite this he still has PTSD from all the bad shit that happened to him. Stuff like the smell of alcohol and being inside of a car freak him out a bit but he has no idea why.

Clockwork and Toby use to be a thing. He rather not talk about it, it's a sensitive topic..

Toby rather enjoys other proxies company, unless they are have relations with someone he doesn't like or is uncomfortable with.

He doesn’t stutter as much as he used to when he was younger. He only really stutters when he’s stressed out or nervous.

This guy is a total pyromaniac and loves setting off fires for the fun of it. It reminds him of when he killed his dad. Even though he can’t remember his dad he has subconscious memories of something good (I.e. his dad dying) happening before a fire.

He’s not this uwu nice guy sweetheart everyone else makes him out to be. If anything, he’s kind of a dick... making cruel & sarcastic remarks at the expense of others, especially Masky. He is a pretty nice guy to his friends though.

Gash in his cheek, ever since he got it he has to tilt his head slightly whenever he eats to make sure the food/water doesn’t leak out.

When loving someone, he'll show them that by spending extra time around them watching movies, pleasuring them, stealing them things he'd think they'd like on missions and blowing off his other choices.

Because he is unable to feel pain, he likes to inflict pain onto others just to see how they'll writhe and scream when he twists their arm out of place or hacks through the muscle fibers in their calves with his sharpened hatchet.

Slender will let small yet painful slip through as a psychological punishment because he cannot feel physical pain.

He has self-harm scars from trying to feel something

He's allergic to cashews (idk I was bored)

Toby likes to work alone, despite working frequently with others.

He's sooo moody. You would think someone killed his sister.

Toby was once apart of the top 3.. because of some complications (may or may not be delt with the mysterious clockwork situation)

Toby's taste buds are fucked.

He likes to play videogames particularly online competitive games *cough* fortnite *cough*

Toby loves anything lemon flavored, because it's really strong enough to let him taste without being disgusted by it.

Toby is afraid of the dark (trauma related but doesn't remember).

Toby basically refuses to take medication if his life depended on it.

Toby developed a vocal tic of whistling, much to Tim's surprise when he taught him how.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 266. brb x oc

a/n: smut??? in the next chapter??? more likely than you think. (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

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/239/240/241/242/243/244/245/246/247/248/249/250/251/252

/253/254/255/256/257/258/259/260/261/262/263/264/265

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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-

Beatrice and Shells huddled together in the closet, their faces reflecting a mix of frustration and annoyance as they watched Miranda move about the bar as if she owned the place.

The unwelcome guest had a way of making her presence known, and it was clear that she was there to stir up trouble.

Beatrice let out a quiet groan, her voice filled with exasperation. "Oh, I hate this."

Shells, on the other hand, couldn't help but wear a mischievous smirk as she observed the scene. "Same."

Beatrice gave her friend a quizzical look. "You don't look like you hate it. You're smiling."

Shells chuckled softly, her eyes never leaving Miranda as she continued to cause a scene. "Babes, for God's sake, when do we ever have drama in the bar? This is like live entertainment. And I'm enjoying the show."

Beatrice couldn't help but share a small, reluctant smile with Shells. It was true that their bar was typically a place of…well anything but Miranda.Anything but a breeding ground for drama. But Miranda's unexpected appearance had thrown a wrench into their peaceful evening.

"God, I hope Aunt Penny gives her an earful," Shells muttered under her breath, her frustration evident. "Fucking bitch."

As they continued to observe Miranda's antics, Penny, approached the unwelcome guest with a stern expression. Her interactions with Miranda promised to be interesting.

“Can you hear anything?”

“No,can you?”

Bea gave her friend a look, “If you can’t why do you think I can?”

There’s a pause, then Shells muttered, “Good point.” after a few seconds of contemplation, Shells looked back up at Bea, “We should walk out. I wanna hear what’s going to happen. I can’t wait…but we have to be careful.”

Beatrice and Shells exchanged a knowing look, their curiosity getting the best of them. They decided to tread carefully and quietly, hoping to eavesdrop on the unfolding drama without getting caught. They made their way out of the closet and slowly crept toward a corner of the bar where they slowly walk closer.

They still couldn’t hear anything.

“Shells,”Bea begins, chewing her lower lip, “The bar is packed, we shouldn’t be sneaking around when there’s people wanting drinks.”

Shells let out a quiet sigh, her initial enthusiasm for eavesdropping starting to wane as she realized the challenges of the crowded bar. She turned to Beatrice and whispered, "Fine. This place is packed, and there's no way we can get close without being noticed."

Beatrice nodded in agreement, "I know, let’s just…play it cool,alright? We can do that. We are bartenders, we can be…cool with weird patrons.”

Shells,while clearly bothered, nodded with a frown. "Yeah, you're right I guess.” she flicks her gaze to Miranda, “But if she bothers aunt Penny in any way,Bea,I swear–”

“We both know Penny can handle herself.” she reassures, ‘It’ll be fine and–” as if on cue,Miranda turned to find Beatrice standing just a few feet away from the bar counter. The woman smiled sweetly, or as sweetly as a rattlesnake would do and tilted her head towards the brunette.

“Beatrice.” she says, “What a lovely surprise to see you here.”

“Well…I work here.” she mutters, giving Shells a subtle glare when she walked past Miranda, almost flipping the bird but stopping when Penny held her shoulder, “I’m…confu-I mean, surprised, you are here.”

Miranda hummed, giving the bar a little once over, “Oh,I’ve been to places,” she runs her finger down the wood, then rubs against her thumb, almost disappointed to find no dust in it, “Places like these.”

Beatrice shifted uncomfortably, not eager to engage with Miranda any more than necessary. "Yeah, we've met before," she replied, choosing her words carefully. We had uh…dinner.."

Penny's eyes remained fixed on Miranda, her expression growing more stern. "I see. Well, what can I get you to drink?"

Miranda leaned in a little closer to Penny, her tone overly sweet. "Oh, I'll have a glass of your finest red wine. I've heard good things about this place."

“Wine?” the four women at the bar replied, poor Jessie was so shocked she almost dropped the glass she was cleaning.

“Yes,” Miranda says with a flick of her hair, ‘Wine. This is a bar,correct?”

“Yeah, a Navy bar.” Shells replies, clearly not amused by this woman’s antics, peeking from behind Penny’s shoulder like an angry child, “If you hadn’t noticed it yet.”

Miranda's condescending attitude didn't sit well with anyone, and her request for wine in a military bar raised a few eyebrows. Beatrice couldn't help but exchange a bemused look with Penny, who continued to maintain her professional composure, though her eyes showed hints of annoyance.

Penny, still unfazed, gave Miranda a tight smile. "Of course, ma'am. One glass of our finest red wine coming right up."

“Wait we have wine?”

“Shells, shush.”

As Penny began to prepare Miranda's order, Beatrice couldn't resist the urge to engage in some subtle banter. "Wow, Miranda,” she laughs, almost trying to not make this even more uncomfortable than it needs to be, “Most people come to this bar for a good, strong beer, not a glass of wine."

Miranda turned to Beatrice, her expression masking her irritation. "Well, I do have more refined tastes. Not everyone enjoys the common man's drink."

Shells couldn't hold back any longer and interjected with a sarcastic tone, "Oh, yes, because drinking wine in a Navy bar is the epitome of sophistication."

Beatrice shot Shells a look to caution her, but she couldn't help but bite back a chuckle. It was clear that Miranda's presence was testing their patience.

Miranda, sensing the sarcasm, decided to take it in stride, though her smile was more of a smirk. "I have a preference for the finer things in life, darlings. It's a shame not everyone can appreciate that."

“Well you–” Penny shot Shells a look, but since the boss had her back to Beatrice, the brunette couldn’t see her reaction. She only saw when Shells skulked back to the end of the bar, muttering to herself.

Penny turns just in time to meet Beatrice’s eyes, then slides down the glass toward Miranda, "Here's your glass of red wine, ma'am. I hope it meets your…expectations."

Miranda took a sip, her eyes narrowing slightly as she considered the taste. After a moment, she offered a curt nod of approval. "Not bad. It'll do for now."

Beatrice couldn't help but exchange a glance with Penny, both sharing an unspoken sentiment that Miranda's presence was far from the usual crowd they encountered at the Hard Deck. Beatrice clears her throat, “Well,I better go back to work–”

“Ah,ah,ah,”Miranda tuts, “Beatrice, please, I’d love it if you were my server.”

Damn,hearing from Miranda made Beatrice almost question what sort of server she meant.

Beatrice felt a wave of discomfort wash over her at Miranda's request. She wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of serving Miranda, especially given their previous encounters. However, she had to maintain her professionalism and couldn't outright refuse.

She wanted. But couldn’t.

With a forced smile, Beatrice nodded. "Sure, Miranda. I'll be your server for the evening. Is there anything else you'd like to order?"

Miranda's lips curled into a self-satisfied smile. "How delightful, Beatrice. I'll start with another glass of the same red wine, and then we'll see where the evening takes us."

‘...you…you just got this one though…”

“Yes,well,I love wine,dear.” she flicks her hand at her, “Now go on.”

Beatrice bristled and it took everything in her to not reply how she deserved. However, she had a feeling this was payback from the dinner, and Miranda knew Bea couldn’t talk back, at least not how she desired to.

Sheforced a polite smile and turned to retrieve another glass of red wine for Miranda. She couldn't help but feel a sense of frustration at the woman's high-handed behavior. While she prided herself on her professionalism, it was clear that Miranda was testing her patience.

And she was doing it on purpose.

As Beatrice returned with the freshly poured glass of wine, she set it down in front of Miranda with a smile that masked her true feelings. "Here you go, Miranda. I hope this one meets your expectations as well."

Miranda accepted the glass with a nod of thanks, her demeanor maintaining an air of superiority. "Thank you, Beatrice. I appreciate your service."

Bea bit her lips, “Mhm!Of course!” With that, Beatrice excused herself to attend to her other customers, taking orders and ensuring everyone at the bar had what they needed. However, she couldn't help but glance over at Miranda from time to time, observing the woman's interactions with the rest of the patrons.

Miranda was clearly out of her element in the bar, her refined tastes and condescending attitude setting her apart from the usual crowd. Beatrice couldn't help but wonder what had brought her here and why she had chosen the Hard Deck for her evening out.

As the night wore on, Miranda remained at the bar, nursing her glass of wine and occasionally engaging in polite conversation with other patrons. And they were…a bit confused by her as well. 

Beatrice returned after a while, about to ask her something but  Miranda turned towards her with a faint smile. "You know, Beatrice, I can't help but admire your ability to handle a place like this. It must be quite the change from your usual social circles."

Beatrice paused for a moment, taking in Miranda's comment. She had expected a snide remark or criticism, but instead, Miranda's words held a hint of genuine curiosity. "...Oh. Um…well not really? I…I know pretty much everyone here.”

Wait, was Miranda being nice?

Miranda raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by Beatrice's response. "You know everyone here? How...interesting. I suppose you've adapted to this environment rather well, then."

Nevermind.

"I've worked here for a lon time, so I've had the chance to get to know many of the regulars here."

Miranda took a sip of her wine, her eyes fixed on Beatrice. "Yes, I suppose that's one way to put it. I imagine your husband's position as a Navy pilot has given you a unique perspective on these...gatherings."

”....I…guess so.”

Miranda leaned in slightly, her gaze still assessing Beatrice. "And what about your husband?”

���What about him?”

“How does he like you,” she sips her wine, “Working at this bar?”

Oh,great. She’s going to that, then.

She maintained her professionalism, though it was becoming increasingly difficult. "My husband respects and supports my work. He doesn’t care I work at the bar."

Miranda seemed to take pleasure in prodding Beatrice. "I see. It must be quite the balancing act, juggling your job here with the responsibilities of being a Navy pilot's wife. Tell me, do you ever find it...challenging?"

"It has its moments, like any job, but we manage just fine. "

Miranda's eyes gleamed with a smugness that grated on Beatrice's nerves. "Ah, you have a support system. How lovely. And I suppose that's why you've managed to adapt so well to a place like this."

"Yes, I think so.”

Miranda's smile widened, and it was evident that she was relishing the interaction. "How fascinating. Well, Beatrice, I must say you have been quite the revelation tonight. I never would have expected to find someone like you in a place like this."

Beatrice's patience was wearing thin, but she remained composed. "People come here for all sorts of reasons, Miranda. I'm just here to provide them with good service."

Miranda's gaze drifted to the other patrons, her tone filled with a hint of disdain. "Yes, I suppose good service is a rare find in establishments like this."

At this point, Beatrice had had enough of Miranda's thinly veiled insults. She maintained her professionalism but decided to change the topic. "Is there anything else you'd like to order or discuss, Miranda?"

Miranda seemed satisfied with the effect she had on Beatrice. She leaned back in her barstool, swirling the wine in her glass. "No, I believe I've had my fill of...conversation for the evening. You may go attend to your other patrons." and she flicked her hand again.

Beatrice took a step back, her polite smile never wavering. "Very well, if you change your mind, feel free to let me know. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

With a nod, she moved away from Miranda's corner and returned to serving the other patrons at the bar. She clenched her teeth so hard she could hear them creaking together, tossing the notepad on the counter and muttering ‘Break’ to Penny who just said nothing and let her pass.

Once she was out, she took her time to calm herself the best way she could.

And it was a bit hard.

Shells found Beatrice pacing outside the bar, smirking sympathetically at her friend, crossing her arms while leaning against the wall "You okay, Bea?"

Beatrice nodded with a forced smile. "I'm fine. Just fine.."

“You looked ready to murder her.” she says, “Not that I’d hate to see it.”

Beatrice huffed at Shells' comment,crossing her arms. "I almost did it,Shells. Almost. "

Shells couldn't help but be curious. "What was she saying to you, anyway? You looked pretty annoyed."

Beatrice sighed and leaned against the wall beside her friend, grateful for the opportunity to vent quietly. "She was asking about how I balance working here with being a Navy pilot's wife, same thing talked about before but…ugh, fucking hate her."

Shells rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Mood, me too. I mean, at least you’ll go back home in a few hours.” she shrugs, “Maybe she’ll leave then.”

Beatrice nodded in agreement, the frustration still simmering beneath the surface. "Yeah, you're right. She'll probably leave when the bar closes.”

“Mhm.”

“But…I’ve decided one thing.”

“Yeah? What?”

Beatrice inhales shakily, “I’m going to fuck the hell outta Rooster tonight.”

[eos0anemone]

Analysis: Genshin Impact Autistic characters - KOKOMI

This is going to be a section in my blog talking about which Genshin characters I think fit very well inside the autism spectrum. If we know Hoyoverse's record, we know that they're not autism friendly (*cof cof* cure for autism in Tears of Themis *cof cof*) but well, neurotypical people accidentally writing neurodivergent characters happens a lot, and at the end of day, it is free to our own interpretation how we see them.

I want to open this section with my favourite Genshin character: Sangonomiya Kokomi. I relate to her a lot (partially the reason why I'm convinced she's autistic) but keep reading if you want to know specifically why I think she is.

INTRODUCTION

Kokomi is a 5 star character, Hydro catalyst from Inazuma. Lorewise, she is Watatsumi's Divine Priestess; in other words, the leader of Watatsumi Island, a small town that relies a lot on fishing and agriculture to subsist.

In terms of 'waifu-uwu', Kokomi is your average overworked waifu who shows a shy demeanor, steady leadership but delicate presence. Is very feminine presenting, has a quirky military side and shows a soft spot for traveller, probably because she falls in love with him too (and yeah, I talk specifically about Aether because we know who thinks this way). A lot of western people, especially men, also reduce her to this stereotype common in Genshin Impact women.

However, we can take some more steps and see in depth everything that Kokomi has to offer.

HYPERFIXATIONS

One of the aforementioned cliches is actually true: Kokomi is an overworked woman, but not in the same way as Ganyu or Keqing, for example. While they overwork themselves because they seem to enjoy being occupated or feeling useful, Kokomi's job is a responsability that she actually doesn't wan't: just by reading her voice-overs (More About Sangonomiya Kokomi: IV), we discover that what she really wanted to do was study military strategy and become an adviser.

And this is one of the most interesting points about Kokomi: she loves military strategy. While some people reduce it to a quirky trait, I think it can be clearly interpreted as an autistic hyperfixation. Not only Kokomi is presented to us as a girl who is an expert on this field (Archon quest was so horribly written that it doesn't do her justice, but canonically she is very smart and a strategy master), but she also tells us on voice-overs that she loves military books the most (Chat: Reading), and wanted it to be her full-time job.

The least we can say is that it is her passion, one that fuels her motivation so much, just like how autism or writing fuels mine to the point of wanting to work on that field and enjoying it on my spare time or when I'm regulating myself.

BURNOUT AND MASKING

In relation to the last point, there's another reason as to why Kokomi preferred to be a military advisor rather than the island leader: social interaction.

As stated in both voice-overs and her quest, social interaction exhausts Kokomi to the point she 'gets negative'. She also tells us (Sangonomiya Kokomi's Troubles) that she's not good at communicating with others, and that putting on her Divine Priestess airs helps her with it. Kokomi is a clear case of a women who does masking in order to survive socialization with other people, and in this case, her being a figure of authority well-respected and loved by her people helps her a lot with the interactions she's forced to endure day by day. I see myself on this, because I too feel more at ease interacting with other people if I have a title that gives me clues about how others will be talking to me (being the class rep, an administrator...) but it still exhausts you, and usually it is even more tiring because you have to keep up to extra expectations. The 'getting negative' references being so burn out that you can't keep masking anymore, making you seem gloomy/uninterested/rude/clueless.

In Kokomi's quest Dracaena Somnolenta, we learn that when Kokomi is too tired of social interaction, she hides for a while on a cave where she sleeps and reads books in solitude. That is decompression. All autistic people need it to regulate their bodies and mind.

For Kokomi, this decompression time is very important, but also a secret she has. Social interactions represent a sensory overload for her, and we can see it on her dialogues during Dracaena Somnolenta, especially when we go find her to the cave:

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Oh... you noticed? I guess I haven't quite mastered the ability to hide how I'm feeling. I'll keep working at it... (masking)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: To be honest, I'm not really cut out to be a leader. At first, my dream was to read up on military strategy and perhaps become an adviser. (another hint to her hyperfixation)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Constantly communicating with people, trying to retain their morale, having to read between the lines, making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve... It's such hard work. (more masking, she has to force herself to do all these things because it doesn't naturally come to her)

(...)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I come here to just lose myself in a book and relax for a while... (decompression)

Kokomi also explains that she uses spoon theory to regulate her energy. Spoon theory is a method created by Miserandino and it is used to ration our energy during the day. So yeah, Kokomi literally uses for herself a method that is directed to disabled people; whether it is autistic individuals, people with chronic illneses and pain, etc.

In her case, she writes it on her diary, adding or substracting points according to the tasks she has done and the events that happened to her. Traveller, whether it be Aether or Lumine, seem to be an individual that Kokomi trusts and feels comfortable with; so much that their presence doesn't disregulate her, but actually does the opposite. I don't like to think of it as a romantic thing, but rather as a platonic neurodivergent bond that they both share with each other.

A cute detail is that she also speaks loudly about those energy points with people she trusts, like Traveller and Paimon. I think it's beautiful when neurodivergent people feel free to explain out loud the 'weird' things they do after enduring so much masking.

SENSORY REGULATION

Although I already touched the most important points as to why I think Kokomi is autistic, there are some others I want to emphasize, being one of them sensory regulation and disregulation.

Kokomi is clearly disregulated by social interaction, and uses reading books, resting alone and militar strategy as a decompression mechanism. She also enjoys diving, and as she says, it fills her heart with peace even if the world underseas isn't bright and sunny like the dry land. Water can be very pleasant for some autistic people due to the stimuli and the temperature (I, for example, love swimming but hate being wet and wrinkled afterwards), and I like to think that, when Kokomi is at her limit, she goes diving to calm her mind (this is a headcanon lol, unless I missed something on lore).

Kokomi also dislikes seafood (fish, crustaceans...) and it's funny because I also hate seafood due to it's texture and flavour. Her favourite food, Bird Egg Sushi, is described by her as both 'simple' and 'simple to prepare'. Now I could be analyzing too deeply, but autism and sensory problems with food usually go hand in hand, making us prefer the simplest food possible and avoiding dishes with too much things on them, strong flavours or unpredictable textures... So yeah, Kokomi also fits this.

JUSTICE AND MORALS

Kokomi is leader of Watatsumi Island and goes against the Vision Hunt Decree that Raiden Shogun imposes on Inazuma. As she states on her voice-over (About Raiden Shogun) she doesn't feel rightfully to categorize or criticize Raiden Shogun's actions as good or bad. However, as she fights against it for the welfare of her people, we can assure that she does fight back against things she considers an injustice, even if it burns her out; just because that's what is right.

She also shows a great worry about all her people. If it's raining, she thinks about the fishermans who may not be able to return. The soldiers that died under her charge are in her mind even when she has agreed to not talk about them out loud. That should ideally be the average prototype of a leader, but just by watching Raiden Shogun we can agree that it is, in fact, not it. Seeing Kokomi, a woman who dislikes social interaction and burns herself to fulfill her duty, being at the same time so empathetic, considerate and kind to her people is something I see in a lot of neurodivergent people. The urge to please and help others the best you can do, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process; not healthy at all, but so pure at the same time.

Kokomi also says something interesting on one of her voice-overs (Chat: Fish) which is that 'respect must be given to the will of every creature'. It is no mistery that she loves sea creatures so much, and I also think that the reason she dislikes seafood is because of this same thought about respecting all lives in nature. Not a very important point, but worth to mention.

I think I covered all the points I wanted to talk about, but if I forgot about anything, I'll update the analysis and add it.

There are a lot of characters I want to talk about apart from Kokomi (Albedo, Alhaitham, Sucrose, Freminet, Fischl, Noelle, Chongyun, Shenhe...) but I will take it slow to bring them all here. Autism spectrum is so colorful and endless that each character has significant but different traits, and I'll cover them up little by little.

This is the end of the post, I will return tomorrow with more things to say.

But here's a little cute Kokomi ❤️

[uchihakeimei]

Helloooo, hope it's ok if I reply here! Also I forgot to apologize in advance for my terrible English, hope it's understandable!

What a relief to find someone who actually understands Kaiser! He's one of my absolute favs together with Rin and Isagi, but I never really spoke much about him since I noticed the fandom has a bad habit of misinterpreting him. AND Kaisagi in general. No, Isagi is not his soft-uwu toyboy, he's a badass, a menace and if anything, it's him that would put Kaiser in his place. And yes, they totally hate each other. Like, super hate. And that borderlines on obsession from Kaiser's part. (Ngl, that's my favorite part in all Isagi's ships, how he's unbothered, moisturized, living his best life, and the counterpart is decaying in their obsession in beating him. God, he's such an icon.) Their mutual disdain is what makes the ship so balanced, and also the reason why I dislike Kainess, I don't really appreciate the power imbalance and how submissive Ness acts around him. He deserves better than that. Oh, how I would love to see him leave Kaiser in the dirt to fight alone: that would be such a great character development for both of them. Ofc I'm not judging anyone who ships Kainess, it's a perfectly valid ship! I just love both Kiis and Rnis cause they check all of the boxes of the chemicals in my brain. And when the Kaiser flashbacks drops? I'm gonna go absolutely crazy. I need to be the worm in his brain and understand him in a much deeper way than Kaneshiro ever could.

(Also, I love your headcanon about their alternative jobs. I tried to come up with something for Rin too, and I concluded that he definitely could only ever work in front of a computer, where he would never have to interact with people - and traumatize them with his weird bullshit, lmao). (Oh, and Kaiser would be an even worse boyfriend than Rin, let's be real. One small argument and he's dumping your ass to ""find himself"" like any mediocre fuckboy).

Yes, despite my BLLK obsession I'm keeping up with other mangas! I've been reading One Piece since I was a child, but lately I got invested in Chainsaw man, Choujin X, Kagurabachi, Bungou stray dogs and My hero academia, too. What about you??

Of course, it's totally okay!!

And hello fellow Kaiser fan, great to meetcha!!

And yes. A lot of people mischaracterise Kaiser- either as an Isagi simp (most common in fanfictions) or a complete asshole with no depth.

KaiSagi characterisation tends to be even worse (which, this is NOT me criticising authors at all, people are entitled to write what they enjoy!), but either Kaiser or Isagi gets reduced to a desperate simp trying to get into each other's pants (mostly I have seen this with Kaiser, actually) and that's not very likely.

The charm of KaiSagi is their mutual hate, and the ways they overcome that!

And yes. You hit the nail right on the head! Such unbalanced ships, like KaiNess (SasuSaku or NaruHina from Naruto) are the one kind of ships I can never get behind. Whether it's love or hate, it needs to be mutual for me to enjoy it. Power unbalance is not my thing but different strokes for different folks and all that

And yes, Kaiser currently obsessed with destroying Isagi while all Isagi wants to be is no 1 is a delicious flavour and Kaneshiro is cooking

I need an explanation. Of everything regarding Kaiser. That flashback needs to be longest flashback in the manga. I want a biography I can write a thesis on.

(True!! He definitely isn't a people person. He will most likely be doing a job that requires minimum human contact lol)

(And yeah, Kaiser is such red flag, we'd need rose colored glasses to date him 😝)

Hehe. Fellow CSM fan!! My fav is Denji, and I am eagerly awaiting Season 2!

And although I haven't seen the rest of them, I have they are very good anime as well!

My absolute favourite would be Naruto, as I have been in that fandom for years as well. Apart from that, I am currently keeping up with Solo Leveling and Windbreaker!

(Although listing all the animes I have watched will require a separate post, I watch a lot of them!)

Ps: Your English was lovely, no worries!!

[cogaytes]

i saw the woobification thing! although i havent interacted with the fandom long enough to get a concrete feeling of how far it goes with, well most of the characters, but tam and linh specifically. curious what u think abt it and if u could clear it up a bit!

the best comparison i can think of is low key the way white people in the kpop fandom tend to talk about the idols? where there's this weird idealization of them as soft and sensitive but refusing to show that part of themselves because they're too dark and mysterious and bad and whatever. but a lot of the time they do that in a kind of feminizing way which plays into that stereotype of asian men not being masculine; for instance, i've seen people in both fandoms post about how tam/an idol "still enjoys feminine things like makeup." obviously i am in favor of breaking down the gender binary around activities, but when you're headcanoning just tam as someone who acts less masculine and not doing the same for other characters like fitz or dex it gets kind of weird! i also see him headcanoned as short a lot, but in a "uwu small angry cinnamon roll pouty face" way that kind of woobifies him? and i guess in general the parallels just rub me the wrong way a little because they remind me very much of the low key fetishization of kpop idols (how they get written as shy and uwu and sensitive and emo).

there's also a huge tendency to headcanon tam as mlm/transmasc (which inherently isn't bad! i'm queer and nonbinary and i love headcanoning characters as queer and nonbinary too! but i feel kind of weird about how tam gets so consistently headcanoned as gay and trans), which also happens a lot in kpop fandoms. and again, nothing wrong with trans/queer headcanons or even trans/queer headcanons of asians folks specifically, but i think there's kind of a pattern of people immediately deciding asian men have "lgbtq vibes" and it's got some funky implications.

i guess i'm saying people need to think very hard about what about asian men makes them want to hc them as trans/queer and what that says about how they think about asian/lgbtq men. because asian men tend to be seen as less masculine/more feminine and softer than white men, and it kind of feels like people headcanon them as trans/queer because there's an association of softness/femininity with queer men and with trans men. which is also playing into a shitty transphobic/homophobic stereotype as well as a racist one. folks also tend to feminize him more when shipping him with other male characters, which kind of implies that there needs to be a masculine and feminine man in mlm relationships.

just gonna close off by quoting some stuff i've seen in posts, not to call anyone out specifically, but to demonstrate how pervasive an issue i feel it is:

"loner energy" "dramatic emo" "skater grunge aesthetic" "my chemical romance"

"tam is the moodiest...person ever"

"his shove his feelings in a bottle mentality is showing"

"he keeps his curiosity under lock and key hidden underneath his prickly attitude"

"his s/o's parents probably wouldn't like him [at first] because of his exterior, but love him once they realize he's really just a lovesick puppy for his s/o"

"is never turned off by feminine activities"

"tam and dex both scream gay to me. like they are either gay or aroace because i just can't see them liking women"

[allastoredeer]

The ship name switch actually comes from manga/anime fandoms! I haven't been in any recently, but back in ye old days people could get very intense about who tops and who bottoms and switches were practically unheard of, so the names were kinda necessary. NaruSasu vs SasuNaru for example. You won't believe how much people fought over positions, it even got parodied in some japanese media. On a slightly related note, are you okay with top al content where the characters are properly portrayed? Or none at all? No judgment, we all should enjoy the fandoms however we like ^^

Oh 👀 that makes sense I wouldn't have heard about it then. I watched a handful a anime, but the only one I dipped my toes into was My Hero Academia, and even then, I didn't go that deep. I read a few fics, but that was the extent of it.

Fighting over who tops, bottoms, and switches is so silly. An argument can be made for any character being a top, bottom, or switch, because sexual preference/positions isn't something that can determined by a handful of personality traits. There's no check-list a characters has follow to be "deemed" a top. Or a bottom. Or a switch.

At the end of the day, it's literally just what the fan prefers for that pairing. And I think the more people accept that they can like specific dynamics without having to argue for their right to like it, the better and less-toxic a fandom will be. You should never have to defend why you like a character, or a ship, or anything else, because sometimes you just like it. You vibe with it. No other reason required.

As for the top!Al content, it can be kind of tricky to deem something as "properly portrayed" when, technically, everyone's portrayal is going to be different, and every portrayal isn't going to be 100% in-line with the show.

I think considering something as properly portrayed is wholly dependent on the fan and how they relate to the show and the characters. No fanfiction or fanart is going to be completely true to the show or characters. I don't even think that's possible XD Fans inject so much of themselves and their experiences into fan-content, that every portrayal can be considered properly done given the right audience.

But, if top!Al and bottom!Luci were written in a different way--maybe something that didn't UwU-ify Lucifer so much or make Alastor out to be this big, domineering alpha-male--I think I could like it.

I'm very picky with characterization. There are some details I can easily overlook, but depending on how certain things are written, it can take me out of the story so badly I can't even force myself to finish reading. (Believe me, I've tried. I found a Spideypool fic once that was so well written it was love at first sight. The humor was on point, the plot was intriguing, the dynamic between them was fun, but there was a small, little, itty-bitty detail in their interactions that kept popping up and it took me out of the fic so bad, I couldn't keep going. I tried to finish the fic, multiple times, but I never got very far.)

Funnily enough, when I was first scouring the internet for content after the show ended, I actually bookmarked a handful of top!Al and bottom!Luci on Twitter. But with how it's currently being portrayed across the fandom, any enjoyment I had for it has soured. I just don't vibe with the majority of top!Al I see now.

I've always liked bottom!Al though, and I've been seeing a lot more content for it lately! I've been eating well 😋

[strawberry--bride]

The results are in!

// Yesterday I posted a poll where you guys could vote on which DL boy you would ship with Sharon and these are the results...

In last place ーー Laito and Kino with 0%

Laito I can understand but honestly I kind of enjoyed the few Sharon and Kino interactions I've had on this blog. 🙈 While Kino would obviously abuse her kindness, I also think their dynamic is kinda cute idk??? Is it just me???

In fifth place are the Tsukinami brothers, Ruki and Kou with 1.6% each.

Sharon has had a few cute interactions with Shin, but I haven't interacted too much with Carla, Ruki or Kou muses. And if Sharon did interact with Kou, it was also under the presumption that she's already dating Subaru.

In fourth place are Reiji and Azusa with 4.7% each.

Reiji is too strict/serious for Sharon imo, but I think she pairs up quite nicely with Azusa? Although I don't necessarily see their relationship as a romantic one, but more so Sharon acting as a caring, older sister.

Third place goes to Yuma and Kanato with 7.8% each.

Okay, I know, I know. Sharon and Kanato look really nice aesthetically since they're both small and like to wear a lot of pastel colors. But let's the real, she would probably not survive very long around Kanato. She might survive a couple of weeks by bribing him with sweets but then it's game over for her lol.

As for Yuma, that's totally my go-to ship for Sharon when it comes to the Mukami's. I absolutely love the farmer boy x foodie girl dynamic. uwu Also the height difference is an added plus!

In second place we have another tie between Shuu and Ayato with 10.9%.

Shuuron was the OG ship of this blog so that one's hardly surprising to me. I think Sharon would be a nice fit for him too with how caring she is. (Also have you seen those thighs? A++ lap pillow material right there)

Ayato is the real shocker. I know he's a boobs guy and Sharon does not lack in the chest department, but I have barely interacted with Ayato muses. I'm honestly not sure if I can see them together but you guys clearly think there's potential. :p

And in first place - by a landslide - we have Subaron reigning supreme with 48.4%

I guess you guys love this ship just as much as I do. uwu While I don't rule out the possibility of shipping Sharon with one of the other boys, or even an OC, my go-to partner for her will always be Subaru.

[lynntbw]

I feel like an outsider in the lgbt community or more specifically the trans community and I know this might come off as me being hard to please but I legit I don’t feel like I belong cuz outside of being lgbt I have pretty much nothing in common with the vast majority of them I’ve seen(longish post btw)

-I’m not into a lot of the music that’s popular in these circles(hyperpop, house, metal, and most harder rock in general aren’t my thing)

-I don’t like loud concerts/clubs because the noise is just too much for me

-I refuse to participate in drugs and quite frankly we need to have a talk about how people romanticize drugs because it’s a serious issue

-Although I am on occasion willing to play some video games i wouldn’t call myself a gamer

-I don’t know or do anything involving coding or engineering

-This one I admit is a bit of a nitpick but even among the ones that do enjoy watching cartoons I’ve yet to come across any who are interested in animation the same way I am like rarely if ever do they talk about golden age stuff much it’s usually just anime, dramedies(mostly 2010s and later), baby shows, animated sitcoms, or stuff they’re nostalgic for and while I don’t dislike most of those things it does annoy me a bit how other things tend to be ignored.

Also while I can tolerate some things society has deemed cringe I do have my limits and I know this isn’t all trans women but the uwu puppygirl shit is painfully cringe and I hate how prominent it is on pretty much every platform I go looking for fellow trans fems not to mention the rather disturbing fetishes I’ve seen(especially incest like wtf is wrong with you) and I’m tired of holding my tongue or pretending to be someone I’m not just because I want to make friends and don’t want to be perceived as transphobic.

Ignoring Twitter since I was already on there and knew it wouldn’t work the first platform I tried to search for transfems on was TikTok but it didn’t take long for me to realize that it’s got the same issues most others have, more recently I’ve also tried multiple discord and reddit servers but all of them were like this(+ some were way too comfortable with right wing beliefs and/or zionism), tumblr isn’t as bad but ngl i feel like I’m talking to the void more often than not since I pretty much never get any interactions beyond brief small talk.

I’ve officially given up on looking exclusively for transfem spaces and am now hoping to find LGBT inclusive spaces that don’t feel the same as everything else cuz I hate being so lonely all the goddamn time, for the record I live in a mostly conservative small town so I don’t have anyone irl I can talk to about this and the few irl friends I did have all ghosted me.

This isn’t a sympathy begging post or anything like that I know I’m not entitled to these things and that far more important things are going on right now I just needed to get this off my chest.

[chubb-e-feeder]

Haii, im new in america and omg theres so many cute chonky peeps, and the food is so big its almost like the american government are feedists its amazing. Any tips on getting in the loop around here? In florda keys rn and i want to get w some cute feedees and feeders uwu

Hey there, welcome to the states! Glad you're enjoying yourself so far, just watch out for the Horrors.

I wish I could give you advice from my own personal experience here, but unfortunately I've never had the opportunity to do any feedism stuff in person.

Engaging with the community here on Tumblr can be really good, but most folks are a little guarded about their location, which I think is super reasonable. Still, a lot of really cool people here!

If you're really set on meeting up with someone irl, feabie is probably your best bet because it uses your location. One small caveat about Feabie though is that it sucks and I hate it. But hey, you might have a better experience.

Above all, I would say in any interaction, here or elsewhere, it's important to recognize that you're dealing with another person, and you need to respect them. Y'know, don't be pushy, don't be a creep, and assume boundaries exist around just about anything unless you get direct confirmation otherwise. Lots of people have lots of different ways they enjoy this kink, and your enjoyment or interest in doing something does not guarantee theirs. You might've noticed that I tend to lean into darker aspects of the kink, but I do my best to avoid exposing folks on the more wholesome side of things to that stuff. It's in everyone's best interest here to foster a safe, respectful, and inclusive community. And if you're looking for a feedist partner, chances are they'll appreciate your role in doing that.

[crabbarts]

Ough Zeke if I could send you all these soft asks I would they're so adorable 🥺🥺🥺 but I'll settle for 5, 10, 12, 13, 18, 19, 20, 23 uwu have a lovely day <33

wahhh sara you're the sweetest 🥺 thank you for the asks and I hope YOU have a lovely day!

5. who do you feel most you around?

IRL I feel the most myself around my sister! We have some deep talks and she's very good at talking me through tough subjects. And in the online space, I feel like I can truly be myself with you! 💚💚

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

I'm going to see my best friend on Sunday! We're going to visit a Japanese bakery that we haven't been to before, but their bun and dessert selection looks impeccable,, I'm hoping to get one of everything on the menu 🤧

12. how are you?

I'm doing really well, thank you <33 I have a lot of ideas for art, my shoulder and neck have been feeling better these days, I've been reading some new books, I'm less stressed on the employment front, I'm having a great time rn!

13. what’s your comfort food?

Any creamy and/or cheesy pasta tbh... homemade mac & cheese, fettuccine alfredo, carbonara, mentaiko udon,, ough those creamy pastas are the way to my heart

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

Ooooo well, I do still love stuffed animals, I like admiring them in stores or in claw machines, but I don't really like buying them. I don't have much space in my room for plushies and I don't like sleeping with more than one or two of them. I have a stuffed horse named Cinnamon that my parents gifted me when I was three, and I still sleep with her next to my pillow (she's very threadbare)

19. most important thing in your life?

Hmm this is a hard one...currently I think connecting with other people is the most important thing in my life. I've been socially isolated for the past year or so, and I've been very lonely and depressed at times, so now when I do get out & about I really enjoy making small talk with strangers or complimenting people's outfits. Like I really do understand the importance of social interaction after being cut off from it for awhile 😅 even a few sentences exchanged with a stranger can make my day feel so much richer, if that makes sense.

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

I'm pretty satisfied with what I have atm! (aka nothing's coming to mind atm, sorry sara 😅)

23. favourite piece of clothing?

OOH this is tough,, I want to say my patch jacket, which I've had since 2018, it's covered in Amazingly Curated and Thoughtfully Placed patches and it's getting very heavy and stiff,, but I also recently thrifted a sherpa-lined acid-washed 80s style denim jacket that is so comfy and just warm enough for spring, I've been wearing it almost every day when I walk the dog and I feel so cool wearing it...ig I'll have to go with my patch jacket but the acid washed one might dethrone it someday soon

[oodlyenough]

I finished Oxenfree II after, I dunno, maybe four or five short sessions of play. I had intended to replay the first game beforehand, but ran out of time before release, lol.

Thoughts (spoilers for all of both games):

I enjoyed 2, but I can't say I enjoyed it nearly as much - if I had, it wouldn't have taken me a week and change to play through, I think.

The art was gorgeous as always, perhaps moreso. They made small QOL improvements that I appreciated hugely, like the map getting marked up, the task list, and ESPECIALLY the little icon telling me if the dialogue would continue when I walked to a new part of the map. The climbing was simple, but fun enough. I deeply appreciated the ability to change the font and text size of the speech bubbles, because I found the default hard to read on.

Some parts were spooky - loved the community centre turning sideways, etc, some good jump scares, the dreamscape stuff was cool. Loved the idea of the time bubbles you got to walk into, and how that was used in puzzles (albeit quite sparingly).

Some less positive stuff:

I liked Riley fine, and Jacob was ok, but that's about... all I felt. They both felt a bit like placeholder characters. I think there is just not as much immediate pathos generated by "two coworkers" as there was between Alex and Jonas, stepsiblings meeting for the first time who both have a lot of baggage.

I also think having a majority of the support NPCs be voices on the radio was a mistake. I enjoyed those conversations, but I had to be reminding myself to check in, and it all felt a bit remote. As Alex, I felt responsible for the whole group, even when I wanted to throw Ren or Jonas or Clarissa off a tower because they were infuriating me. There were different personalities, and also that meant there were different character dynamics to explore and combos you could play with in replays. The NPCs interacted with each other as well as Alex and the player had to manage all of it. Riley felt like she was the centre of a lot of single spoke relationships.

Also, while the parenting as a theme is fine, it's just... inherently going to be kind of remote to me, I guess, as a childless woman with no interest in being a mother. VS I felt the first game dealt with grief in a way I found more accessible, despite never having lost a sibling (or indeed having any siblings to lose, lol).

After the buildup with Parentage (and stories of burning people?!?!), I felt disappointed they were just a hippie uwu cult.

The Alex reveal was my fave, and my interest piqued once we knew she was involved. I see people are a bit mixed on her involvement but honestly I loved it, lol. The downside was introducing her meant I was like "ok, will there be a choice between saving Alex or saving Riley/Camena/etc?" and I knew I would choose Alex no question.

Not quite what happened! I was fairly satisfied with my ending, which was:

-befriend Jacob, but leave him behind (I was worried about Athena! lol)... it was a little unfortunate that Jacob and Riley felt a bit distant as a result, but I loved Riley and Alex getting alone time, so whatever. -leave Olivia to the ghosts

The problem with the sacrifice decision was I did not feel the game gave me any compelling reasons to save Olivia, outside of "Olivia is a teenager so you have a duty of care". Sure, in real life I think letting a depressed teenager go into the void with her ghost parents is a bad call -- but this is a story, and in this story, they have done nothing concrete to make me the player feel attached to Olivia, as compared to how I feel about Riley and Alex, two characters I've now spent hours with. Perhaps I'd have sacrificed Jacob if he was around, but... he wasn't, lol. And maybe not! Because I the player have reason to like Jacob, and no reason to like Olivia.

In the first couple scenes with Rex, I thought perhaps he was Riley's child who had died, and that the death was part of why Riley in present day was a mess and an alcoholic with minimal relationships etc. In retrospect, I think that could have been a very interesting device. The downside I suppose would be that there would then be no reason for Riley not to stay in the void with Rex, making the end dilemma moot.

Still, it was rewarding to see Alex and co leave the island. The game prompts you-as-Riley to be mad at her, but lmao, it's Alex, it's my girl, I don't care. I also thought it was sweet that they had Clarissa as the one who lingers for her. Aw.

Overall, I would give this maybe a 7/10... I don't regret buying or playing it, but I don't feel compelled to replay and try other routes. Oxenfree 1 on the other hand I've played probably 6-8 times and will continue to play again every year or so when it gets dark and cold and spooky outside.

[goat-shoe]

Coffee, Cereal, and Coincidences

CapOut meetcute. Slice of life/coffee shop AU, 1,247 words.

may or may not be inspired by @stellar-mouse's flutterdrop coffee shop au drabble >_< ;; enjoy some capout uwu

☐ Cheerios ☑ Cornflakes ☐ Dried strawberries ☐ Banana ☐ Milk World's first cereal party.

The note was forgotten, face-up and flat on the surface of a lone, greasy table at the edge of the Starbucks that Charlie liked to stop by on the way to class.

It was busy today, much more than the usual gaggle of students on their way to a noon class. Waiting customers filled the tables and booths in the small space. All chairs taken... Save for one, in the corner.

Charlie sits down beside the abandoned shopping list. And at first, it means nothing to him - he assumes it to be a crumpled receipt, in fact. He fiddles with the paper of his own receipt between his fingers, rolling it back and forth, crinkling the paper.

He grows bored of that quickly.

Charlie turns, and side-eyes the abandoned note on the table surface. Already intending to snoop, he realizes it is something far more interesting than just a receipt:

World's first cereal party.

They cover their grin with an open palm, snorting in quiet amusement. It looked like they were reading a love letter, to any outsider. Cerulean hair, tied into a messy bun; ears decorated in gold; a blue, sleeveless turtleneck, under a big fuzzy coat. 

They look beautiful.

The doorbell chimes as yet another customer enters the shop, albeit with coffee already in hand.

~

Doug freezes.

He's not a coffee fan, actually. In fact, the drink in his hand is an apple cider- a special treat for today's errands, he had decided. The regarding checklist which he foolishly left behind while waiting for his order, lost in thought.

And now- minutes later- he returns just to be paralyzed by the sight of some handsome creature reading his shopping list. The sunlight spills through the window behind him, casting onto the cool blue hue of their hair- a shade that somehow comes with such warmth, maybe it's the gold along their ears.

The shop's bell dings again, and a new customer shuffles in, shoving carelessly past Doug. He fumbles over himself, moving to get out of the way, sheepishly closer to the holder of his shopping list.

But, as though the tapping of his converse on the tile were a boulder tumbling down a mountain cliff, Charlie looks up before Doug can prepare himself.

They're looking at him. He feels like a deer in the headlights, under their gaze, their oblivious smile. They're looking at him and aren't going to look away- does he look weird? He's sort of dressed weird, as he usually is. Plus- he's staring at them.

....

Charlie offers the stranger an odd smile. She looks down at the note in her hands. She snickers, and looks back up at the other.

"Is this... your cereal party?" She asks.

The flush that had been creeping up Doug's neck now engulfs him with uncomfortable, humiliating warmth. His face is strawberry red. He opens his mouth to speak, but there's no words.

Without a single coordinating brain cell, Doug charges forward, snatches his grocery list back, and exits.

He doesn't look back.

-- -- --

Doug's bedroom ceiling is covered in sports posters. Full-body shots of all the classics... Babe Ruth, Steve GaRuscky, Stanley Bekowsky... Their tall, limber bodies caught mid-action, flexed with focus and power. And yet, they each stand poised, delicate, in a moment of simultaneous passion and effortlessness. Like ballerinas on their music boxes; like the angelic infants of the Sistine Chapel. Only, with baseballs.

Doug lays atop his bed. He is too wracked with guilt to enjoy a cereal party tonight. No- he doesn't deserve to have a cereal party, with the way that interaction went. Did the world know the flailing humiliation inside of him? Or was he just another jerk in a coffee shop. Another jock stepping on blue hair.

Doug closes his eyes. He lays his forearm over his face. He doesn't want to keep replaying it: the way he shattered their smile. (Did he even see them react? No- he didn't. Arguably worse than if he had, the way his mind tortures him.)

He closes his eyes shut tighter as his roommate hollers from the floor below... Tony has his boys over tonight. Doug rolls over to grab his earplugs. But reaching for his nightstand, his eyes land on the inspirational dog posters that cover his closet door. A whole league of puppies, cheering him on.

If you're going to dream, dream big. There is a way out, even if the fence is a tall fence. X-RAY PUPPY... CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL!!!!

They're right.

Doug feels the tension in his chest and in his mind ease. The ropes of torment begin to untangle, like a dirty dog's fur under dog conditioner.

Doug pushes himself out of bed, abandoning the ear plugs. He grabs his coat, and heads for the door before Tony and his boys get busy.

-- -- --

When he arrives at the Starbucks, it's nearly empty. The cool-blue evening light colors the room, and seemingly the mood of the two employees in sight.

Following the ever-shifting plan in his head, Doug forces himself to march up to the counter, and order another apple cider. A small one. He does this so his presence is not suspicious, and to avoid conflict, though he is wracked by another load of guilt for getting himself two treats in one day.

It's halfway through the order that something catches his eye... At the same table he sat this morning sits a crumpled piece of yellow paper. A sticky note, he assumes.

Doug completes his Starbucks order, sustained only by the pressures of social convention. But once he's free, he- inconspicuously- slides over to the note, and leans to sneak a peek at it.

Dear cereal guy, You may never read this, but I love the idea of a cereal party! Maybe get some more fruits in there, or a couple of those newfangled, tooth-rotting sugar cereals. You look like you could use it. XOXO, Charlie ♡

His heart seizes in his chest and he might throw up. His whole body jumps when the barista calls his name. In a panic, he shoves the note into his pocket, and fumbles to come and grab his drink. He tries to- wants to- smile at the barista, but he can't make eye contact. He's red all over again.

Saluting with his drink, Doug scrambles for the exit, and heads home.

Now he just has to make it past Tony and his boys with his sanity intact...

-- -- --

The next day was the same as the last for Charlie. The events of her classes and job had sent the encounter with cereal guy to the far back of her mind.

But as Charlie walks down the street in the chilly morning air, her brain reminds her of the stranger from yesterday. A giggle bubbles out of her, caught by the agile palm of her hand. It was an interaction too rich to forget, one she had to leave her own kind of "thank you" note for. The world is beautiful, wonderful, and cereal is just one of many things that make it that way.

They pull open the door to the Starbucks. And as their eyes sweep the place, a familiar face catches their gaze, sitting in the corner of the shop.

Charlie beams. And Doug turns red again.

[dexmckinnery]

Let's continue the small talk we're having with asks like the old days, haha! I enjoyed asks blogs a lot, it was a blast! Tho at least in the Homestuck fandom things where kinda segregated from fancharacters and canon ones (I come form ages where having OCs interacting with canon was like a sin and let alone self inserts like I do myself, we were seen as lesser creative people...) Giacomo's name in Japanese is literally the word for pineapple in Spanish, Piña (I'm from Mexico, I lost my mind to see some of the characters are named after food in Japan lol). And I see now about the references you took for him, I always wondered how people rip the 3D models, still I like the lil flab on him uwu (I'm a overweight gal and finding characters to relate is hard ;w; )

Haha, sure thing! XD

Yeah, ask blogs were great, it’s a shame people aren’t really doing them any more because something I enjoyed a lot was interacting with other ask blogs... the upside is that I can make Giacomo a side blog and not have to worry about not being able to send out asks as him XD;; It’s a bit easier...

It’s interesting, the OC interacting with canon thing... the only fandom I did that for really was Bokumono (Harvest Moon) and it was generally accepted, so I haven’t experienced people being seriously against OCs as such... but with Bokumono, you’re expected to have OCs I suppose! Especially now the games have character creators...

Yeah, hahaha! XD I love they just went all in on food names this time. Like Rika is Chilli... and is basically an anthro chilli pepper (that hair), I think it’s charming. ¦D I can see they’ve tried to translate the names faithfully... but it’s a shame some has been lost in translation. Giacomo really is a pineapple when you think about it... the yellow stocky body with spiky hair on top... spiky exterior, sweet interior... checks out, huh?

I mean, you CAN see it in the game, you don’t need to have the models XD You can see it in his pose when you battle him and it pauses the cam on him holding out the ball at you.

You can see it when he first comes in sitting on top of the Starmobile

And you can see it at least when he talks and gestures

In any case, that’s the inspiration, regardless. XD Here’s the funny “stumbling on the Starmobile” one people can never see up close as a bonus

The more you know, hahaha

On how to rip them... I’m not sure how people get the files out of the games, but the raw files were shared on the forum of model resource... I had to convert the model using a script somebody had written so it could be opened in Blender, then use... Switch Toolbox I think... to convert his textures to PNG so Blender could read them... I don’t actually have a Windows OS new enough to be able to import the models fully textured (a Python incompatibility =() and when I do, the model loses it’s rigging... so I had to tell this file where to find what texture, which is why it’s not perfect... I then had to use Switch Toolbox to take the model’s armature and convert all the animations for it into something that Blender could see with a plug in... it’s all very hit and miss thrown together, but it works well enough that I can see the animations on the model and turn them around in 3D, which was good enough as reference for making plush and drawing for the ask blog... I really hope somebody rips him properly soon though. XD

Edit;

Here’s Team Star lined up with each other! Eri is SERIOUSLY tall... she’s taller than Larry and Larry is TALL so... If you consider Mela and Penny to be 5′02″, it makes Giacomo 6′00″, Larry something like 6′03″ by that scale, standing up straight instead of slouched, if I remember right... Ortega 4′07″ and Eri a whopping 6′06″! I’m not sure they considered what their heights would be when scaling them in game, hahaha XD

(Fair note, these numbers are speculation and worked out by laying a height chart over them and trying to be reasonable to Ortega, they’re in no way canon since I’m pretty sure we don’t have a reference point number to base it on!)

[birklurks]

Hi Birk,

I just wanted to say that I agree with the asker of your last ask, and the tone of your answer was what prompted me to send this.

We've interacted briefly in the past, and I know we've probably not seen eye to eye because of that, but I've followed you and genuinely enjoyed your engagement in the Naruto fandom (even though it's a fandom i tend to lurk on the outskirts of, my main interests lie elsewhere). That being said, it has been saddening to see how bitter you appear to be when discussing the fandom now. Surely this aggressive bitterness isn't sustainable? I do understand the comment debate - and I'll admit I probably don't have much of a stake in it because I live in very small fandoms - and I respect you for sticking to your guns and your beliefs. I wish that this was done with a little less open hostility that at times seems to come across like an attempt at making others feel guilty for how they participate in fandom (whether this is intended or not).

I'm truly sorry if someone has at one point made you feel like the way you engage in fandom is wrong. I really am.

Hi there @temporary-dysphoria​ 👋🏻,

Yes, of course I remember you! 🤗

You are the person who wrote this post based on your... whimsical, interpretation and application of “copyright law” (which was actually rife with unsubstantiated fear mongering hyperbole and misinformation 🥴).

BUT, I genuinely (no joke) have to hand it to you - when I respectfully reached out to ask you for citations to back up your fanciful claims, at least you were honest enough to admit that:

"The original post was done in 10 minutes based on my memory alone and a quick google search". 

So, kudos to you for that! Although, you also said you would get back to me about my request for weighted authorities and substantiation... (which of course, you never did... probably because they don't exist 😬). 

So unfortunately, you're batting a 0% average here when it comes to credibility.

That being said, I never assess any person based on a one-off interaction. So, let's see what you have to say. 😊

(Birk reading... scrolling... reading some more..... DONE.)

_________________________________________

Ahhh, so this is another one of "those" asks.

To start, the thing that never ceases to surprise me about people on Tumblr is how singularly focused they are on "tone" or how something is “framed” rather than the actual SUBSTANCE of what is being said. Which I know is silly, because the reason for this is excruciatingly obvious: 

In the context of fandom, folks send me asks like this (making lackluster attempts to try and spin my posts as indicative of some sort of degenerative “bitterness” that is supposedly “saddening”), because they cannot honestly, competently, and rationally address what is really going on without acknowledging the ridiculous, rude, and highly inconsiderate nature of the behavior I am unabashedly mimicking without any “uwu” sugar coating.

I mean honestly, what about my tone really prompted you to send this ask? 

Does one person plainly stating the glaringly obvious (albeit, quiet) parts out loud, and holding up a mirror to the realities of silent lurkership make you that uncomfortable?? 

And most importantly - why can you freely lurk, but not me??

“I wish that this was done with a little less open hostility that at times seems to come across like an attempt at making others feel guilty for how they participate in fandom (whether this is intended or not).”

This is genuinely puzzling.... “open hostility”?? 

Are you serious? 😦

All I’ve ever done over the past 5 months is hold up a mirror to the glorious nature of voracious silent lurkership for what it objectively, FACTUALLY is. 

I am an “equitable” silent lurker now. I get everything I want, when I want it, how I want it, and as much as I want it at the expense of everyone else’s extraordinary labor, sacrifice of time and effort… for absolutely nothing in return. 

That is just a fact.

If you think the statement (or mere reflection) of a glaringly obvious fact = “open hostility”, I seriously question how you could possibly communicate in any context with other rational adults (in any setting other than a carefully hyper-curated 100000000% validating internet echo chamber).

As for my posts coming across as “an attempt to make others feel guilty” - huh??

Why is that on me?? All I’m doing is holding up a plain 1:1 mirror here. 

If people feel guilty or uncomfortable by what they see in that mirror, maybe they should think about why that is. That’s on them.

Because I sure as hell don’t feel guilty. Far from it. Why should I, when fandom has unequivocally taught me that nobody owes anyone anything??

So of course I’m having a ball!! As a fellow lurker - aren’t you??! 💃🏻🥂✨

As for this odd blurb:  

“I'm truly sorry if someone has at one point made you feel like the way you engage in fandom is wrong. I really am.”

What a weird (and frankly, inapplicable) sentiment to express to someone who is just existing and having the time of her life enjoying the endless benefits of effortless silent lurkership no differently than you do. 🤔

But you know what - if sending me thinly veiled, patronizing fake platitudes make you feel better, then by all means go to town, I guess.🤷🏻‍♀️

At any rate, once again -  I do genuinely respect the fact that you had the balls to send this ask as an identified user. It’s more than I can say for the overwhelming majority of unprincipled cowards in my inbox.

[ducknotinarow]

"Hey, Usagi-sama?" Leonardo stops him for a moment, a small smile on his face. "So, uh. Someone told me I should give you this." Gently tugs him closer, planting his beak against his lips for a soft, gentle kiss. It lasts for a few until he breaks apart, smiling more. "It was me." ( uwu 2k3 :3 )

| muse interaction

It was the same no matter what when ever he and Leonardo met again. There was a airy feeling to the ronin's chest when ever his eyes rested on how Leo's beak seemed to curve into the smile he held when first seeing them. How he always held this gaze towards him. The rabbit glad years of training made it easy to control his emotions to a degree or the fact his fur was as white as snow would give him away. Instead he kept the feeling buried away. Leonardo was his dearest friend after all. Even if every parting was making it harder and harder. Or how he took special care of the sword they gifted just to the rabbit.

His tells were as subtle as Leo's foot steps could be. His ears lifted and twitched at the mere sound of their voice, furred cheeks fluffed a little at compliments. Needing to tell his heart it meant nothing it was simply praise for another sword wielder. Usagi been in love before and it hurt, he rather be able to keep this friendship if he must hide how he feels. Feelings will fade right? No. Because every time he sees them its like the emotions simply only grows. It's far beyond any he felt before it was deep. Maybe that's why excuses to train with Leo were always taken, it let him watch the ninja and there graceful moves. Let him moving in close, stare into that fierce look in their eyes. Wins often waved back and forth today? it was Usagi's. A slight smirk to his mouth as he gently used the end of his blade to tip Leo's chin up at him.

"It seems this win is mine Leonardo-san." Smile relaxed as he pulled it away and sheathed his katana back. Watching the turtle move to stand accepting their lost this time. "You'll just have to try again next visit spent." Usagi offers. He wished he could make these stays longer and maybe he could but that might give away his heart's intent.

"Hey, Usagi-sama?"

Leonardo moved to stop Usagi, aware he was planing to head back home after their sparing session. That damn smile once again on thier beak tugged at his heart but he met it with his own smile in turn a slight tilt of his head as he waited for Leo to speak on.

"So, uh. Someone told me I should give you this."

"I hope it's not another sword, not that I don't treasure the one you already have given me," Usagi goes to say merely joking but, he dose soon freeze and tense when he feel Leo's hand son him and how easily they tug him towards themself. Mind was blank for a mere moment, thankfully or he might have missed how their beak pressed in against his mouth suddenly.

Usagi's heart stalled in his chest and his hold on his sword fell letting it hit the dojo floor of the turtles home. Eyes soon closed as he enjoyed the feeling of their beak to his mouth. It was softer than he thought it be. Not are hard or rough as the rest of Leonardo's skin. Time felt like it froze in that moment as soon Usagi felt Leo break from the kiss. But not the hold they had on the ronin left to let his eyes part a little trying to gather what had happened.

"It was me."

Usagi felt like his face was burning hot, know well enough the white of his fur was betraying him and painted red from how he was blushing. He never excited Leo to be so bold. "I thought ninja were all about trickery?" he simply cracks before setting his hands on the side of the turtles face and pulling them back in. Capturing their beak in another kiss, because he wasn't going to wait anymore but instead follow the lead Leo set.