#waiting to be let otu

[allastoredeer]

What funny for me it's when I see some people in radioapple fandom saying why they can't see Alastor as a bottom is because "he would never be a bottom because of his ego!" (and right under a post with b!Alastor content, the nerve)

Meanwhile Lucifer, King of all Hell, Sin of Pride personified, the man who stole Adam's first wife and claimed to do the same with the second, and had two songs about how great he is compared to others: am I a joke to you?

EXACTLY! Preach Anon!

Lucifer's ego is just as big, if not bigger, than Alastor's. I was rewatching the show recently, and during the "Dad Beat Dad" episode, literally the only person he was nervous, bumbling, or awkward around was Charlie (and Vaggie, to a certain degree considering she's Charlie's girlfriend).

In every other interaction he was smug, arrogant, indifferent, unimpressed, or downright dismissive. His whole song with Alastor was just him flexing his power and getting more and more insecure & angry about how "close" Alastor and Charlie were. I think people forget that Lucifer is the Sin of Pride, and you can 100% see it in his behavior towards the other characters. Obviously, he got closer to the Hazbin Crew, especially during the last song in the finale, but that doesn't make his ego magically disappear.

And I love that about him.

I find his huge capacity to love (both Charlie and creation) so endearing, but it's better and so much more interesting, when it's paired with the fact that his ego gets bruised so easily. He's the most powerful being in Hell, while also being insecure as fuck, while also being the personification of Pride itself. Is that not the tastiest, most delectable character to ever character????

Look, yes, Lucifer is depressed. He and Lilith got divorced. He and Charlie were estranged to each other for years. He lost his will to dream after being cast out from Heaven. He spent all his time making little rubber ducks, locked away in his room. But that doesn't, by any means, make the man humble.

If you look at Alastor and say he's got too big of an ego to bottom, and then turn around and make Lucifer the most bottomy bottom ever, then I say go back and rewatch the show, cuz you're missing a few very important factors. Especially if you're basing someone's capacity to bottom on ego alone. (I, personally, love it when prideful, egotistical characters bottom. It's so much fun).

Mostly just...hhhhhh, please stop stripping away all of my short-kings most interesting characteristics. I don't want a small, wide-eyed, easily manipulated little UwU soft boi. I want snarky, powerful as fuck, insecure, egotistical, provocative short-king who gets pissy when his daughter talks to a homicidal deer man with a silly haircut instead of him (while also being very soft, loving, and caring). He's multi-faceted, and that's what makes him interesting.

Once again, this isn't me getting after people who enjoy top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer. Do what you want, I hope you're having fun. Just don't go commenting below other people's posts with shit like "Alastor wouldn't bottom because of his ego," when Lucifer is just as much of an egotistical little shit as he is.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 5

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); oral sex f!receiving; anxiety; very toxic trauma revisited

Chapter Word Count: 15.8k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: a chapter i've been waiting soooo long to share!! ahh!! i have had the exact performance from this chapter in my mind for a long ass time. i would SO appreciate for you to watch it to get a glimpse of exactly what's been sitting in my mind for months. i will link it for all you to see :)

i hope you enjoy, loves!

The Talk On The Street that you witness in this chapter :) I've always imagined their irl Otus Supply gig from August of '17 as their first one in Covet!

-🌼🌼🌼-

You ended up spending breakfast and lunch with Elsie while shopping. Nothing replenished your cup more than spending time with your sister. 

And because she was away for her career ninety percent of the time, you relished in whatever time you could get with her. 

Though, you still hadn’t found anything to wear. You’d scraped almost every store at Kings Plaza, and you were about to just settle on something you already had at home. 

But you hadn’t let yourself get there yet. The main reason being, you wanted to find something that would make you look alluring. You didn’t have anything in your closet that matched this idea you had in mind. 

Because even if you couldn’t be with Jake, you were still a woman who was attracted to him. And naturally, if you’re attracted to a man, you want him to be attracted to you, too. 

So, you loved the idea of finding an outfit that would entice him.

You were afraid your plan wasn’t going to wind up working out too well, considering you’d gotten a text from Josh requesting that you stand close to the stage. He had mentioned wanting you to be close so he could see Elsie. He was so damn gone for your sister. It was ridiculous.

So, of course, when you’d received that text, you knew in your mind you weren’t going to leave Elsie all by herself at the front. 

So, here you were shopping for an outfit to make Jake’s jaw drop. 

Except for the fact that, so far, no store in the entire shopping center seemed to have the 

perfect thing.

Elsie was only halfway in the same boat on her clothes journey. She had found a top, but no bottoms. And try as she might, you knew Elsie had the biggest crush on Josh. On several occasions that day, she’d brought up how excited she was to hear him sing. She’d quickly correct herself to say she was excited to see them all play. And she’d kept asking questions about Josh specifically. 

And her outfit. . . She hadn’t said she had the same plan with hers as you did with yours, but you knew she did. The top was already a barely-there sparkly black one. It left almost nothing to the imagination, being mostly a sparkly bralette with a couple pieces of sheer  fabric to create a shiny, cropped opening that revealed her toned stomach. 

You actually weren’t overly jazzed to be seen next to Elsie tonight. You’d always felt she was prettier than you. And it never failed, she’d always gotten more male attention than you did. . . 

You had this gut wrenching feeling that Jake would only be looking at her, no matter how sexy you were trying to make your (currently non-existent) outfit. 

“Y/n, what about this?” 

You looked over from the rack you’d been flipping through pointlessly. It was Elsie’s idea to come in here for the pleather pants she was intent on wearing. She seemed determined to kill two birds with one stone and also find your outfit while in the store.

She was holding up a sequined black bustier. It was hot, but it seemed too obviously sexy. You didn’t want it to seem too apparent that you were trying to look so good. You needed it to be a more subtle kind of alluring. 

You scrunched your nose and shook your head. “No, too much.”

She rolled her eyes. She was tired of you shooting her options down. But you didn’t want to just buy something because she thought it was best. You wanted to feel totally confident in what you were going to wear. 

Then, you turned your attention back to the rack that had already proven  it wasn’t holding what you wanted. You just didn’t know what to do at this point. 

Your attention was pulled away when Elsie squealed. She’d found the pleather bell bottoms she had been intent on finding all day. 

You smiled at her, but your heart fell. You were not feeling too good about tonight. Maybe this shopping trip was a sign that you really shouldn’t go. 

You didn’t want to look like a dumpster fire in something that just didn’t fit the vibe. You went to tell Elsie that you were going to wait outside the store and her face softened at the plain look of sadness on your face. 

She knew how you let tiny things build up until they were one big thing that made you feel inevitably hopeless. And today had included several little shitty things on top of the one giant thing that had been playing on a loop in your mind since last night. 

You couldn’t believe you’d yelled at him. It honestly hurt your heart to think of how you’d reacted to the situation. You could have handled it better, but you still weren’t sure how else you should’ve cut it off. 

It shouldn’t have even been happening in the first place. You’d crossed a line that you were already feeling tempted to cross again. . .even when you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. 

You hadn’t talked to Elsie about it, which was strange. There were no secrets between the two of you, but you didn’t even know how to broach the subject with her. The last time you’d talked to her about Jake, you’d thought that you hated him. 

And now. . .you knew for a fact you didn’t hate him. You didn’t know what you felt for him, but it sure wasn’t anything close to hatred.

He’d pissed you the fuck off on multiple occasions. But as you’d reflected this morning, it seemed that recently, he had decided to change his ways. You could hear Josh’s voice now saying something along the lines of: 

“He was hurting. How he’d acted before, that’s not him. Give him a chance to show himself.” 

And now, in your heart, you knew that the Josh in your head was right. When someone had been wounded as Jake had been, and had years stripped away from his life for virtually no reason. . .they’d definitely be entitled to acting angry and unlike themselves. He’d been through a lot.

You just didn’t have all the patience in the world for it as the beginning of your childhood had been less than sunny, and you didn’t ever remember being so rude to people who didn’t deserve it. All you’d been was kind to Jake in those first interactions you’d had with him. But it had seemed anytime you wanted to make things good between you two, he made sure to squander it with his pissant attitude. 

Let it go, y/n, said the little voice in your head that was trying to reason with you. What has he been like recently, hm?

The voice in your head sounded an awful lot like Josh and Elsie. You grinned to yourself. They really would be the perfect pair. They were both so rational, so effortlessly wise and generous.

You and Jake, however? No way in hell you would be a good pair. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you two argued over the smallest, dumbest things— like pizza toppings (literally). That would make for an absolutely insane, headache of a relationship. 

But would it, y/n? The voice echoed again. What if when you put your guard down you figured out that you two could actually bring out the best in each other?

You gave it a little glimpse of a thought. 

Pfft. Yeah, right.

It didn’t even matter. It couldn’t happen.

You felt Elsie come and sit next to you, her tattooed shoulder lightly hitting your bare one. “What are we gonna do about you?” 

You laughed outright, because damn. It was funny how her question applied to literally your entire life right now. 

You looked at her, answering for the current situation. “I think I’ll just end up wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt,” you were frowning when you said it. And even if you had been smiling the biggest grin you could muster, she still wouldn’t have believed you. You didn’t even believe you—you just had a habit of saying things you didn’t mean when you were in a bad mood.

“Um, absolutely not,” she corrected, her voice gaining the same sense of sass that your mother had always possessed, before she’d left. “You are going to find something. Whether I have to drag you by your hair to do it or not.”

“Els. . .there’s nothing. We’ve looked and looked.”

“We haven’t looked at that store yet. . .” She nodded her head over to the store right next to the one you were currently sitting in front of. It did look like it had some cute stuff, just by looking in the windows. “Let’s go look there, okay?”

-🌼🌼🌼-

And what do you know, you ended up walking out of that store holding every damn piece of your outfit. 

“The older sister is always right, you know,” she nudged you, smirking. “You don’t have to admit it right now, but I will be waiting.”

You scoffed. “Oookay,” you walked out of the door to the mall, and headed to the car. She stayed right beside you. “You were totally right when you dated Keith for five years straight, even though he was nothing but a fuckin’ asshole who cheated on you and only ever treated you like trash.”

She gave a thoughtful look. “Fair,” then she shoved you, and you almost lost your balance. You both laughed. “But leave the past where it belongs.”

You instantly felt the need to fill her in on what happened last night. You didn’t fully want to, but you knew you had to. You wanted to leave the past where it belonged; move forward and let Jake be nearer to you, but you just couldn’t let yourself get there. And surely Elsie would have something wise to say to encourage you. She had been your main go-to person for your entire life. She had to be caught up. Even if you already knew she would find a way to boss you about it while giving her sage advice.

“It’s so weird you say something like that,” was all you remarked in that moment.

You stopped at the passenger side door. Elsie had driven your Jetta to the mall. All through college, you two had shared the car. She claimed to miss driving since she didn’t get to do a lot of it with her current job. And you were never one to pass up the opportunity to not drive, being totally opposite her in that regard. Passenger Princess all the way.

You got in after she unlocked, and you each threw your bags in the back simultaneously. 

“Starbucks?” She looked over at you as she slipped her sunglasses on her face. 

Your eyes lit up as you said, “You already know the answer to that.”

Once she got to driving, she finally answered your initial statement. 

“Okay, what was it weird that I said?” She stopped at a red light, and let her fingers tap against the wheel while she turned down the ending notes to Elton John’s rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.”

“The thing about the past,” you bit at the side of your thumb, a nervous habit you’d always had. She slapped your hand away from your face. 

“Quit.”

“Fuck you,” you responded.

“Fuck you! You’re gonna chew your whole thumb clean off someday and I’ll be right there telling you ‘I told you so’,” she went when the light turned green. “Anyways. . .”

“I’ve been thinking non-stop all day about something,” you continued. “It’s fucking ridiculous, but I need your help.”

Before you could say anything more, she’d made it to the Starbucks line. Already knowing your order, she placed them both quickly and scooted up to the window to pay and grab them.

And finally on your way back to the apartment, she responded. “Just spit it out, y/n,” she glanced over at you. “And my help isn’t ridiculous. It’s the best you’ll ever get.”

“Mm,” you replied sarcastically. “It has to do with my roommate.”

“Oh, fuck. What did he do now?” She replied, showing her humor at your annoyance with him. “Look at you slightly wrong? I'm excited to meet him, by the way. It’s actually one of the things I’m looking forward to most. Gotta see this villain in my sister’s life with my own eyes.”

You narrowed your eyes at the side of her head. “For your information, he’s a total jackass. I wish you’d just listen to me and understand that fact. But nooo, you must defend how awfully he treats your poor sister,” you grumbled. “And mock your poor sister at that.”

“I’m not going to hold anything against him when it’s obvious he’s the same as you, y/n,” she peeked over at you. “He reacts at other people when he’s had shit thrown his way.”

“Same as me?!” You shockingly answered, not at all believing she was comparing his assholery to anything you’d ever done. “I’ve never been a jerk because of my own life circumstances. Ne-ver.”

She snorted. “You obviously don’t remember being a particularly bratty 10-year-old. Oh, and 11-year-old. . .and how could I forget you being an occasional shithead 12-year-old,” You just sat in your seat, completely unaware of anything she could be referring to. “Your emotions with mom leaving after dad already had. . .they hit you hard, sis.”

“How do you remember how I acted? You were only a year older,” you rationalized. “If I can’t remember myself acting like that—which I really don’t, by the way—, how could you remember? We were both too young.”

She shrugged her shoulder. “We coped differently. . . Way differently,” she pursed her lips. “I had to be the protector, the defender. Even if I was only a year older, I felt responsible for you. I mean, even after we went to live with Grandma and Grandpa I felt that way. And you treated me and everyone else like fuckin’ dirt.”

“I don’t—.”

“Ask Grandma or Grandpa. Or better yet, both!” She seemed genuinely desperate for you to understand. And you were actually starting to get a few flashbacks you’d suppressed. “You did some terrible things as a kid to try to, what I can only assume now, protect your heart that was already hurting from a mother abandoning you.”

Suddenly, you had a jumbled mess of memories come back to you. Your mom was there at the beginning of the montage of moments, and you were screaming at her and crying for her not to leave. Then, there were instances of you screaming very similarly at Elsie for God-knows-what, retaliating at your grandparents for seemingly nothing. Why had you. . .?

“Why did I forget?” You felt tears climbing in from the back of your throat. “I mean, we all know I don’t like to think about mom, but. . . That’s all just how I reacted to her; it was my life after. She wasn’t even there. I just don’t—how could I. . .?”

She looked over at you, her own tear dripping down her cheek. She set a palm on your thigh and gave it a loving squeeze. “That’s just it. She wasn’t there with you, but she had marred you. You were distraught, y/n. And understandably so. She was your mom and she left you,” she rubbed a thumb against the wheel, sniffling. “Some kids repress and compartmentalize shit until it’s almost gone when they’ve experienced mass amounts of trauma,” she paused. “That’s you,” she motioned her head to indicate who she was referring to. “And then there are some who can't forget a damned thing, no matter how hard they try. Me. It’s an extremely unfortunate gift.”

Now the memories were actually flooding your mind at an uncomfortable speed. You didn’t like what you were remembering. It wasn’t pleasant, and it included a lot of screaming, pulling of hair, slamming doors, breaking precious things, and . . . 

You suddenly had a cold chill run up your spine from one particular reapproaching memory.

“Did I slap you?”

She chuckled. “Once or twice.”

“It’s not funny, Elsie,” you reminded her, feeling extremely guilty. “I can’t believe I . . .” You shook your head. 

“It was a long time ago, sis,” she continued to rub your leg. “I’ve moved on. Anytime you did any of that stuff, I moved on as soon as you’d done it.”

You wrinkled your brow and felt a couple of teardrops hit your bare thigh. “But. . .why?”

“You were in pain and somehow, I just knew it. Even if I was just a kid, I’d been forced to be the one to take care of you, become the adult, I guess. I knew then it wouldn’t be fair for me to hold something against you that you probably didn’t mean. I knew the only reason you were acting that way was because someone else had hurt you,” she shook her head. You heard a sniffle come from her. Her voice was wet when she spoke next. “It wasn’t all your fault. It was mostly mom’s. You just didn’t know how to react to it.” 

And for the rest of the ride to your place, you were extremely pensive. There was an empty feeling that accompanied the tears that were still sitting at your tear ducts. You’d occasionally get this weary feeling of not being enough, feeling empty. And you knew that so many of your struggles with control and worry—your affinity for anxiety. . .it all came from your inability to be a child and your lack of a mother. She truly had left you so broken. 

You had a feeling you knew why she’d chosen now as the time to tell you all of that. Hearing it all allowed you to put your own (or rather someone else’s) current life events into perspective. 

Your tricky ass sister. Why did she always have to bring so much sense to everything? Could she just let you be irrational for once?

You felt more tears grow in your eyes, now feeling guilty for an entirely different reason. 

“I know why you told me,” you cried. There was no denying that you were full-on blubbering at this point. “Sneaky ass bitch.”

It made Elsie giggle through her own tear-fest she was having in the driver’s seat. “You’re welcome.”

And, in normal fashion for the two of you, you started dying laughing in the midst of sobbing.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You looked out the window, nearing the apartment. The trees, the skies, people laughing—those were beautiful things. Any memory associated with your mom was not. You despised just how much your mom could get in your head. 

She’d hurt you so much. The things that had happened before she left, the way she’d left, the way you (now) remembered reacting to the pain as a child. You pondered how all of these things combined were most likely the reason you hated to think of her. So, essentially, these happenings from your past were the reason you shoved everything else in your life down . . . You’d gotten used to doing it when things got too uncomfortable to think about. 

And dammit, if it hadn’t worked so far; you weren’t even close to being ready to let her enter your mind for too long. 

But Jake? You couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong you’d been to judge him. Hearing what you had from your sister made you feel ready. Ready to open up to the idea of him. 

Whatever that idea may be.

Once you got back to your apartment, you used all your energy to shut out the bad thoughts and closed off any lingering thought of your mom. When she’d suddenly popped up in the midst of you remembering events from your past, you were instantly disgusted and saddened at the sight of her. 

You could see her so clearly in your memories—it was too much.

And, you would rather not ruin your day by feeling the heaviness only your mom could bring.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You’d tried on your outfits, and afterwards, you two had put on bikinis, deciding to sunbathe. She was gearing up to head out of your home to the apartment pool when she stopped at the door. 

“So, the thing you wanted to talk about with Jake, and the past. . .was it you being annoyed with him again? Like, did we fix that?”

Thankfully your roommate was gone, so if you wanted, you could divulge the information that had been on the tip of your tongue without any worries that he’d accidentally hear. 

You shrugged. “I mean, we fixed the whole ‘me giving him grace’ part. I needed that.” You added, “Since I used to apparently deal with things way worse than he’s dealt with his shitty breakup.”

“It wasn’t way worse, y/n,” she tried to reassure. 

“He has never really screamed at me or done anything even close to hitting. I could never imagine him getting physically angry with me. Maybe other people,” Your cheeks heated, thinking of the guy in the record store. A knowing smirk came to your face. “But not me,” you looked off for a minute, deciding to tell her what you’d thought about that morning in bed. “And lately I’ve realized that he has actually really been changing his ways. He’s been a completely different person for the past few days.”

“Okay, wait, who’s ‘other people’?” She air-quoted, eyeing you, growing her own smile. “And changing his ways, how, exactly? I believe it; I bet he’s healing. . . Spill the tea.”

You shook your head. “Maybe another time,” you looked down at your feet and sighed. “I do need you to know one thing. . .,” you rubbed your tongue against the backs of your teeth, deciding you just had to tell her. “What if I told you that, hypothetically. . .I don’t know, we made out last night?”

Her eyes bulged, and she took a step closer to you. “What?!”

“Hypothetically,” you reminded her, for no reason at all. Since it was definitely not hypothetical. “If we like dry humped in my bedroom and shit,” her mouth dropped open. “I really don’t need your advice. I just. . . Well, earlier, I was going to ask if the past things he’d done made a difference in anything, but. . .,” You trailed off, getting stuck on your sister’s stunned expression.

“I’m sorry,” she held her thumb and pointer finger to her forehead, closing her eyes. “I'm just letting this all sink in.”

“But, I mean, the past wasn’t really a factor at all. I didn’t need validation with the whole ‘he was an asshole, so is it okay?’ thing. I don’t even really know why I used that wording,” you watched as she looked down, shaking her head. Her eyes were still humongous. “But you told me what you told me and I needed to know all of that for several reasons. So I guess I worded it that way for that purpose without even knowing it?”

“I don’t fucking know, y/n. You say shit weird sometimes. You usually speak before you think,” she looked over you. “And now it sounds like you’re acting before you think.”

You gestured your hands at her as if to say ‘ta da!’ “And therein lies the problem.”

“Well, shit. . .,” She looked at you, surveying you. “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, I came to my senses and I made him leave last night—.”

“You made him leave?!” She seemed even more shocked by that. 

“Well, yeah,” you affirmed. “It can’t happen. There’s no way in hell it’s a good idea.”

“And why is that?” She glared at you. “I thought you weren’t going to hold his shit against him anymore.”

“It’s not because of that,” you reassured. “First of all, we’re roommates—.”

“And that makes it hot as hell to pursue it,” she interrupted, a giggle at her lips. “And they were roommates,” she said, just like the Vine. You gave her a look. “Sorry. Go on.”

“I can’t risk losing Josh if something doesn’t work out.”

She shrugged and nodded, “I get that. The whole losing Josh thing. . .,” You raised a brow at her. “I meant that I wouldn’t want to lose my best friend either! That’s why I get it. No other reason.”

You tossed your eyes at that. “Mkay,” you disagreed, but you didn’t torment her with that. “And I can’t get in the way of him living out his dream like his past girlfriend did.”

“Who’s to say that would happen?” She countered.

“I just know it would,” you tried to answer in a way that left no room for argument. “And I’m not going to risk that either.”

“Y/n—.”

“Don’t question that he’d do that. Because he did it before and he’ll do it again.”

She slanted her eyes. Her mind was going a million miles a minute, you could tell. She had her thinking face on, getting a rebuttal ready.

“Did he want it?” She asked, tapping her chin.

“What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Did he want it? Kissing? Sex? Whatever. Did it seem like he wanted it?”

“I mean, he initiated the first kiss,” you decided to add a part that had repeated at least fifty times in your mind since it happened. “And he rubbed his hard fucking dick against me while telling me that I did that to him,” you blushed, retelling it. 

“Fuck,” her own cheeks got red at that, eyes getting big again. “That’s hot.”

You nodded, having to agree. And just hearing it coming from him. Hot damn. He was sexy as hell, and hearing him talk filthy had done something to you. There was a reason you’d replayed it more than a few times since. You smirked and nodded your head. “Right? And you don’t even know what he looks like.”

She looked pensive again. And after looking at you for a solid minute, you got annoyed.

“What are you thinking?” 

“Maybe you need to humble yourself,” she stated plainly. Your jaw dropped at that. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, but I’ve had a pretty good dosage of humbling today, if I do say so myself.”

She crossed her arms, her face still squinted at you. “No, I mean. . .what if he doesn’t love you like he loved her?”

Your heart fell to your knees at that, but you weren’t about to admit it to even yourself, or let it show that the words had hit you like a ton of bricks. You didn’t need him to love you, but dammit if that didn’t hurt just a bit for God knows what reason. 

You kept your features stony in your response. “What are you saying?”

You had a little flashback to him saying nearly the same words last night. And for a brief moment, you were back in that time. Your cheeks started to flame. You tried to shut it down before it went any further. 

You focused on your sister.

“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”

“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she gasped at your insult to her idea. You leveled her with a stare at that. “And you know it.”

“I do, I do,” she reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”

“You think I could do that?” You couldn’t believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 

“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She blinked at you. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”

You were absolutely blown away that she was suggesting this. She was the level head in all situations, always being the one to offer the most sound advice. 

Her face said she was hiding something, though. Was there something behind this? What did she know that you didn’t? 

“What are you scheming?” You inquired, extremely curious. 

She placed a hand to her chest. “Me?! Scheming against my precious little sister? How dare you assume that.”

You rolled your eyes. “This isn’t normal for you; you know, to advise risky things and shit. 

She glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Afterwards, the two of you got the sun you’d wanted. The apartment you lived in had a nice pool out back, and thankfully you’d made it out before a hoard of people had the same idea and came out to enjoy the sunshine on this nice, hot summer day. 

You’d laid there for about 20 minutes, and had made it a point to talk about almost anything but your enticing, long-haired roommate. 

But, Elsie being Elsie, had to bring him right back up. You wanted to avoid any mention of him, since your thoughts were incessantly badgering you with images of him. But, she seemed set on not letting him leave the conversation either. 

“I really am so excited to meet Jake,” she said, letting her back face the rays, her skin already browning well. She had an advantage since, recently, she’d been in several places for her job that had even more sun than New York.

“Yeah, okay, Els. I’m happy for you, but let’s not talk about him. ‘Kay?” You were still laying on your back, your thirty minute timer almost up for your front. “I’ve talked about him enough for one day.”

“We barely–.”

You gave her a look, bringing down your shades to show her your brows that were creased and your eyes were basically pleading.

“Fine, but I have to know something.”

You sighed loudly, and looked back up. You closed your eyes against the sun’s harsh light. “And what is that?”

“Does he look just like Josh?” 

You giggled at that. “Oh, so it’s about Josh? Yeah, let’s talk, Els. Pour your heart out.”

 She set her lips in a flat line. “Shut up. I don’t mean–I just wanted–,” she growled a huff. “You said before that they were twins, so . . .”

“Eh, I guess,” you relented, and compared the two. Yes, they definitely had similarities. But they had enough differences that you weren’t sure you’d be able to say they’re twins in a line up. “Jake looks like Jake, and Josh looks like Josh, but then sometimes they look like each other? I don’t know. Twins are interesting,” you figured you could explain a defining feature of your roommate’s to explain his appearance. She really had no clue what he looked like. “I mean, for instance, Jake has longer, wavy hair, while Josh’s is so curly, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied, way too dreamily for it to be normal at all. “So curly.”

And when you turned around on your back, lying in silence next to Elsie, all your mind could think about were the beautiful, sharp features of Jake’s face, and every other piece of his body you seemed to always catch yourself looking at. 

You really did wish he was ugly.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Your mind was driving wildly out of control  with Elsie’s words. 

You couldn’t believe she’d recommend you doing something so thoughtless. 

She’d since left to go see your grandparents. And you’d used the hours since she left to let the idea sink in a little. And if Elsie thought it would be okay. . .surely it would be, right? She was never one to steer you wrong. She’d always told it like it was and helped you out when you needed it most. 

The more you thought about it, it seemed more like normal Elsie advice than you’d initially figured. She’d always been a fan of you letting loose just a tad bit. You barely ever did, and it drove her crazy how rigid you could be. She always said you were ‘in your head’ too much. And she was definitely right about that. 

What if you had been thinking too much about all of this? What if it wasn’t as much as you stressed about it being? 

She was probably right when she said he didn’t love you like he loved the girl from his past. There was no reason for Jake to feel that deeply for you. You definitely needed to be humbled, though, because you’d made up your mind that something was a certain way when there was literally no proof to validate it.

Had Jake been kinder to you as of late? Yes. But it absolutely didn’t mean anything more than just showing you that he was healing. And healing a decent enough amount to show you a better version of himself. 

But he had wanted you in your bed last night. You knew that for sure. With the way he was talking, and moving his lips and body. . . Your thigh still tingled with the feeling of him pressed against you. 

So, would it be so bad? If you finally made the move your body had been desperately wanting for the past month?

You were taken from your reverie when your phone started ringing from where you’d laid it to charge on your bed. 

You raced over, thinking it was probably Elsie calling to ask about something related to tonight. 

But, no, when you’d seen the name Lacey on the screen, you knew what you were about to hear. 

“Can you work my shift for me tonight, y/n?” She sounded like she was on the subway. It was so loud with so many voices on her end of the line. “I had something come up.”

You shut your eyes in complete and utter annoyance at your co-worker. She was so irresponsible. The only reason she worked at the B&G was because her uncle owned the place. Otherwise, she would have been out of a job a long time ago with how many times she’d called in or dropped the ball on something.

“Lacey. . .,” you started, trying to mask a groan at her.

“Please, y/n? I have to be at this thing tonight. I totally forgot about it.”

You heard a scream in the background and Lacey giggled. She quickly masked it. You could only imagine that she was at some party. It was a Saturday evening, after all.

You pulled the phone away from your face to see the time. 

“You really called me 20 minutes before your shift started to ask me this?” She mumbled a barely there ‘sorry’ which made you roll your eyes. You knew she wasn’t sorry in the slightest. “Fine. But you owe me.”

You’d wanted to respond with ‘Well, I have something tonight, too,’ but you had decided against that very quickly. You were the type of person to help anyone out, no matter how it inconvenienced you. One of your biggest pet peeves was someone who refused to be helpful, so you were not going to be that person. Even if, ironically, that happened to be the exact type of person you were currently helping out. 

She gave a quick ‘thank you!’, and then hung up to continue doing whatever she was doing. 

You were devastated. If you worked her shift, you were going to miss most, if not all, of the guys’ first show. You’d been so anxious to see it for weeks, and ever since you’d laid in your bed this morning, and convinced yourself to go, it had been the thing you’d been looking forward to all day. 

All thoughts that concerned the possibility of having sex with Jake left your mind as you could now only be pissed about having to work on a night you really didn’t want to.

You plugged your phone back in, quickly sending a text to Elsie that you’d be late. Walking over to give your outfit one final glance in the mirror, you saw a frown on your face as you stared into your own downturned eyes. You wanted so badly for Jake to see your look. After all, you had browsed for hours to find the perfect fit to impress him. 

The sun shone through the double paned  window in your bedroom. The thin rays of the late afternoon sun highlighted your skin, which had gotten a decent amount of bronze from laying out with your sister. Your makeup looked impeccable. You’d worked so hard on it. Your eyes were smokey, your cheeks contoured flawlessly, your shining highlighter drawing an eye to your cheekbones. You’d used a dark red lip color that never failed to make you feel appealing.

And your outfit. . . you could see so much of your skin. That had been the goal. You wanted him to see a lot of skin. 

The ensemble included a tanned, low-cut bralette that was padded to perfectly accentuate your chest. The tops of your breasts were exposed, making an impressive display of your cleavage. You’d even used some bronzer and highlighter in the middle crease and around the curves to make them look even bigger. Then there was the black leather belt with a patterned silver buckle around the waist of your black corduroy skirt, pulling it to a point that showed how toned your waist was. And the skirt came to rest only about an inch below your tight ass. You knew if you bent over, you’d be just one miniscule movement away from being exposed. 

Your skin heated at the idea of Jake possibly seeing your ass again. He had liked what he’d seen before– you knew this from his reaction in the hallway alone. 

The look was finally completed with a pair of black cowgirl boots (which you’d already had for God knows why) that had about a three inch heel. You’d also had time to put gentle curls in your hair before Lacey had effectively ruined your night. Your big gold hoops showed through.

You knew you looked damn good. And, at this point, you didn’t have time to change, so you were going to have to wear this outfit (that definitely wasn’t work-appropriate) to work. 

You turned off your curling iron and the lights as you got ready to leave. Then, you went ahead and put food in Stevie’s dish. 

And as you locked the front door, you decided that if the store wasn’t too busy, you’d shut down early to get to the show.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Unfortunately, the store was way busier than it usually ever was on a Saturday night. 

Of fucking course, you thought, going about cleaning up after the customers who put records in the wrong bins. Afterwards, you would check them out, with their massive collections, to leave. 

And the cycle went on and on. 

Around 6:30, something snapped you out of the process of ringing someone up at the register. The girl you were bagging the records up for raked her eyes over someone who’d just rung the bell of the shop, which signified the arrival of new customers. 

You looked over, ready to welcome in your new guest when you saw who it was. 

Jake was frozen next to the door, his big brown eyes only on your body as the girl nudged her friend. Your skin grew hot at his gaze. It felt validating that he couldn’t take his stare off of you. Your outfit had done exactly what you’d wanted it to.

You heard the girl say something under her breath about ‘the sexy guy at the door.’

And dammit if she wasn’t right. He looked particularly fine tonight. 

It didn’t help that seeing him brought Elsie’s plan back to the forefront of your mind. You could only think about how badly you wanted to cross the line and fuck him. You knew you’d be thinking about that every time you were around him until you acted on it. And at that moment, it was all you wanted to do.

His arms were covered by a black blazer with pinstripes, a black button down underneath. His shirt was open, all the way down to the top of his abdomen. The skin was beautifully bronzed, per usual, and glistened the slightest bit from him walking in long sleeves in the summer sun. 

And his thighs. . .God damn, they filled the black jeans he was wearing so well. 

Your customer’s voice asking for the total snapped you out of your trance, and your eyes landed back on her young, freckled face. 

When you got them finished checking out, they continued to stand there, ogling Jake. You were annoyed at their ridiculous behavior, and decided for all parties involved, it was best to get him out of the store. 

You clicked your heels right on over to him. And like always, his cologne infiltrated your senses and made your knees weak. You ignored it.

“What are you doing here, Jacob?” You challenged his presence, putting your hands on your hips. You were trying to act tough like you hadn’t just been fucking him with your eyes. 

His eyes darted to where your hands went, and then he grazed his eyes from your hands all the way to your blushing face. He licked his lips, and messed with a sheet he had folded in his right hand. 

He cleared his throat, “I just wanted you to have a setlist for tonight. Also, Elsie’s already there,” you weren’t surprised. She was always one to show up way earlier than she needed to. “And she mentioned you were stuck at work, so I came here to give it to you.”

He handed you the piece of paper he’d been holding, and you reached to get it. Your hands met briefly. It sent shockwaves into the pit of your stomach.

You nodded, trying to ignore the feeling. You bashfully replied, “Thanks,” peering briefly at the paper in your hands. “Why?”

“Just important to me that you had a copy,” he told you, stepping closer to you. His body was just centimeters away from your own. It set you aflame. You looked up at him through your lashes. “Also, I don’t know what the fuck happened last night, but please don’t let it be the reason you don’t come tonight,” he reached a hand up to tuck a curl behind your ear. “I really want you there.”

Your stomach swarmed with butterflies at him being so blatantly open with you. You were not used to this behavior from him. He was usually so closed off, you were fine with taking the bare minimum. But right now, after being so vulnerable last night, and after having you reject him, he was still standing in front of you, asking you to come see him perform. 

“Okay,” was all you could breathe out, looking between your bodies at how close they were.

After that, he gave you a fleeting smirk. 

And, as soon as he’d appeared, he was gone, out the door.

All you wanted was to follow him. The store be damned, even if it continued to be busy, you refused to miss too much of the night’s show.

-🌼🌼🌼-

That was why, an hour later, 30 minutes before close, you were turning lights off, barely checking to see if records were where they belonged. 

You had just finished checking out your (decided) last customers of the night, and while there weren’t anymore in the store, you wanted to take the opportunity to get the hell out.

Consequences be damned.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You’d sped in your VW to Baby’s All Right. It hadn’t taken long at all to get there since the venue was already only about 5 minutes from the B&G.

You’d texted Elsie telling her you were on your way early, to which she’d sent several clapping emojis, making sure to tell you she was at the very front, on Sammy’s side. 

The place was loud when you walked in. It was music you knew. At first, it sounded an awful lot like “Evil” by Howlin’ Wolf. And then you heard the beginning tears of an exquisite guitar solo. 

You almost tripped on your heels, you were walking so fast, ready to get in and see the magic Jake was creating with your own eyes. 

It was slightly difficult to push your way through bodies as smoothly as possible, since there were so many of them in the small room. The people seemed to be friendly enough to let you through. They were mostly too distracted by the boys playing to seem to care. 

You made it to Elsie in record time. She jumped and clapped her hands when she saw you, mimicking the joy from her text. 

But you only shot her a small crack of a grin. You had rushed in here for one thing—one person. And you easily let your eyes find him. 

And fucking hell, if he didn’t play like some sort of rock god. Your body heated as you watched him slide his fingers up and down the frets, and effortlessly make the beautiful notes fly from his cherry red guitar. 

You were amazed, to say the very least. You could officially claim that Sammy had been correct when he’d commented on Jake being a ‘living legend.’ He truly was incredible. 

Elsie bumped you, and you looked over to see her smiling so broad. She loudly whispered in your ear, “They’re killing it!” When you nodded and then leaned away to pay attention to Jake again, she pulled you back in, giddily telling you. “Josh asked me to stand close. He told me he wanted me where he could see me.”

Damn, Josh had grown some confidence to tell her that. You weren’t surprised he could activate it, since he was already naturally so charismatic. There was a huge possibility he had been running on adrenaline, because it seemed he was now for sure. 

You shook your head, tickled at her glee over your sweet best friend. 

“Oh, and Jake keeps checking over here for you,” she said. You questioned if he was really looking for you, but then she added, “He asked me at least three times before the show if I’d heard from you about when you’d be here.” 

Your eyes got huge at that, suddenly feeling nervous that he had been waiting on you. Though, of course, your mind sent a question to distract you from what you were feeling. 

“We exchanged numbers a long time ago, so I know he has my number. He could’ve asked me,” you stated, copying her loud whisper. “Why was he asking you?”

She smirked. “I think he’s a bit nervous. Has a good ‘ol crush on you, baby sis.”

You were confused by the contrast of his demeanor with you at the store, and the sort of shyness he was portraying to not contact you himself. 

He was so different from any other man you’d ever interacted with in your life. You never knew what he was thinking, whereas other men were so blatant about one thing. Jake was mysterious. And now, rather than making you irritated at his unpredictability as he used to, the mysteriousness was beginning to be one of your favorite traits of his. 

It kept you wanting more.

The shroud he’d covered himself with was tempting. There was so much to learn about him. And you were deciding quite rapidly that you wanted to learn every part of him—his mind, his body . . . All of it; be the one to pull back the intricate cover. 

Elsie went back to watching Josh closely, and you caught him giving her several grins and glancing over to see her. He smiled very wide when he saw you, and you beamed back at him, letting your thoughts flee for a moment, feeling the moment with your friend. You were so proud of him. 

You felt eyes on you, and when you found Jake again, Elsie’s words were confirmed. He was settling his eyes on you, not taking them off of you for a few steady moments. 

You felt your skin heat. Your tummy did somersaults at him looking at you while also playing the guitar like his life depended on it. He slid his hand smoothly down the neck of the guitar, and you imagined him—. 

You shook your head, having to look away from him for a brief moment. 

You flicked your eyes around to the other guys, who were all performing their hearts out. Who fucking knew they were hiding these incredible talents from you?!

You then heard Elsie loudly say Josh’s name, earning her a smirk from him. She was so smitten. 

But you couldn’t say much, because after  smiling at the very talented frontman, who just-so-happened to be your best friend, your eyes gravitated to Jake, of their own accord.

And you watched the way he rocked to the beats of the end of the song. It looked so similar to how you’d imagine his passion in bed. And those little faces you’d seen him make while playing?

Damn.

The ending notes to “Evil” rang through the crowded room, and the rest of the crowd erupted in cheers for the tribute song.

You reached a shaky hand into the pocket of your skirt, for the setlist you’d looked at a million times already. You saw the next song was one called “Talk On The Street.” You weren’t familiar with the tune, so you knew it was most likely an original of theirs. You were excited to hear their stuff, and a full song.

You were sad you’d missed the first four and a half songs because you’d had to work on behalf of your lazy ass coworker.

You cast your eyes past your curly headed confidant filling up the air with his good-natured humor. Your sight was drawn to Jake, whose back was turned as he meticulously messed with stuff on his amp and guitar. You didn’t pay attention to what Josh was saying, only really caring to observe Jake’s movements.

“One for good measure!” Josh finally said into his mic, attracting your line of sight as the audience yelled along with him, his hands raised into the air. “Yeah, that’s really off the hook.”

Jake finished getting the stuff behind him arranged for the next song. When he turned around, the bright smile on his face made your tummy flip. He was just so cute. And seeing him so genuinely happy made you feel so happy. 

He did one little strum, looking over like the big brother he was to make sure Sam was ready. 

And then, the song suddenly sparked to life. The way he strummed and manipulated the strings on the guitar—the steady concentration to his craft; it was truly like home for him to play. You could tell how easily it came to him, and you couldn’t help but feel so turned on by how in tune he was with his instrument. 

 He caught you looking at him, as he spared a glance over at you. Your face heated. He kept doing it, letting his gaze go to you and stay on you as he played his instrument so seamlessly well. It was one of the most erotic feelings you’d ever experienced, him looking at you while he played his guitar so well. 

He beamed again, in the middle of playing. He was reflecting the glee that was so apparent, all throughout the crowded room. You could just assume how much joy he was feeling at being able to finally live this dream he’d had for so long. 

He continued to hone in on you. It was like you were at the end of this invisible line that his eyes were connected to. The more he looked at you, the more confident you felt at the prospect of bringing up the possibility of having sex with him. . .just once, like Elsie had said. Perhaps doing that would get this feeling he’d created in you out of your system. 

It just felt so natural how he kept finding you with his eyes. It was almost as if you were a steady line for him to locate. He smiled a time or two when he’d look at you, making your stomach erupt in butterflies at the freedom in his expression. For the first time as a woman, you felt free— watching him. 

He went on to begin the shred of an incredible, literal jaw-dropping solo. Like, your mouth was absolutely opened in adoration. You weren’t sure if it was possible to look reasonably pretty when you were in such amazement. But you couldn’t help it. His talent had you stuck in place, with your mouth hanging in a grin at his ability. 

You perked your cheeks up, and shook your head at him as he continued to look for you, even while tearing up the guitar. He wanted you—needed you—to watch. And watch him you did. You let your eyes drop to trail over his dampened red chest, shining perfectly under the lights. 

The room was extremely warm. You felt for the guys as the bright stage lights shone down on their sweaty faces. You could tell Jake seemed to naturally get sweatier than the others. It was obvious why as he put every ounce of energy he had into his cherry red guitar. 

He leaned down over his guitar at one point, his body bent as he focused intently on playing his heart out. The face he made as he looked down, looking so eerily similar to how you could only imagine him looking while. . . 

You gulped, letting your eyes wander his body as he stood back up.

You watched his hips move in tandem with the guitar, only imagining how he could be using his body to meet yours rather than the hard body of his guitar. He caught your stare, and pinned you with his own. It was intense; he knew where your eyes had been. And he held you there as his hips thrusted to meet nothing but the hot air of the room. 

And the worst part was he wasn’t even trying to turn you on, it seemed. He was just doing his thing, enjoying how you were there to meet his gaze. It felt very personal. It was as if you were the only two people in the steaming hot room. 

He looked back to his guitar briefly, his lower lip pouted and his eyebrows drew together at the attention he gave the strings. He was looking down at the guitar the same way you wanted him looking down at you beneath him. His gaze intense, wanting nothing more than to please the strings—no, play the strings just right. 

You moved, feeling wet arousal meet the dark lace of your thong. And as he flipped his hair back, strands still stuck to his sweaty face, you knew putting those panties on had been the right fucking idea. 

And, of course, in no time, his eyes were on you again. He was not letting you go, save for the occasional review of his strings that were getting played so fuckin’ well. You wanted your body manipulated by his fingers the same damn way they manipulated those strings. 

He continued to move his hips to meet the air. His thick thighs were straining in his jeans, as he flexed them with the movements of his pelvis, which matched the melody he played perfectly. 

You squeezed your thighs together, and then he caught your gaze one more time. It felt like he was about to let you in on a secret. Yes, he was still focused on the song, but it seemed he was more intent on making sure you were focusing on him.

Then, his upper lip quirked in the sexiest way—and fucking hell.

You were done for when he threw his guitar behind his head like it was positively nothing. 

You felt yourself drip into your underwear at the sight; you were completely taken. 

How could a man be so fucking talented? He made everything he did look good as hell, but this? This was other worldly. His agility and strength. . .his stamina. 

Your thoughts were going haywire as your eyes made their way to his round ass in those black skinny jeans. And if those jeans didn’t hug him just right. . .fuck. You sucked in a breath. You felt a bead of sweat trickle between your breasts. 

You watched his arms flex, so tanned. So perfectly toned. His fingers moved on the frets like they normally would. They’d memorized the grooves years ago, it was obvious. His movements were so intentional. But this time, he couldn’t even see the instrument and it still sounded flawless. 

His attention to the craft—his skill. . .it made him even sexier.

His body was in tune with the guitar, moving so much. Then, he turned, bringing the guitar back where it had been laying at his waist. His hair seemed to fly in slow motion around his head as you watched him. And he was even sweatier (of course), which was a blessing and a curse to see. 

You stood there, watching him play out the rest of the song, completely awe-inspired and horny. His smile; his beautiful, shiny brown hair; the glint in his eyes as he once again scanned your figure. Your mouth dropped open for the umpteenth time that night, and your heart beat erratically in your chest. 

He had officially left you speechless and wanting more. 

There was no denying what you now knew you absolutely needed: Jake Kiszka in your bed.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The eclectic collection of music playing was loud and all around you as you sat at a booth with Josh, Elsie, and Sam. Jake and Danny still hadn’t shown up from backstage. Apparently they were talking with the man they’d recently found to be their manager, along with the manager of Baby’s All Right. 

You tried to stop stealing glances at the door that Josh and Sam had come from. You were anxiously anticipating seeing the man who’d destroyed you from the stage. But you tried your hardest to ignore the want to see him, and focused on Josh talking across from you.

He was so animated, his hands waving around. All of his teeth showed with his big, bright smile as he told little stories from their earlier rehearsal. Elsie sat between you and the singer, her chin resting in her hand as she listened intently to every word he said. He’d occasionally look over at her, and he’d grin, his eyes dreamy.

Smiling at them, you weren’t sure why neither of them had ever told the other how they felt. It was so obvious to everyone else. You noticed this fact as Sam, who sat on the other side of Josh, kept watching them, too, occasionally throwing looks at you, a knowing smirk resting on his face. You’d give him the same grin back. 

You were fidgeting as you watched, your fingers drumming against the table and occasionally twiddling together. You decided to put them under your legs, and when you did, you realized the backs of your thighs were sticking to the seat with sweat. Your knees were bouncing with the same unkempt,

nervous energy.

Glancing over at Sammy, you caught his eye again. You decided to take the opportunity to talk to him to fill the time. 

“So,” you began, his eyebrows perked up. He turned towards you, his arms crossed on the table. “You’ve been hiding your talents from me, too, huh?” 

He gave one of his classic laughs, the sound a vocal vibration rather than an actual laugh. “Well, I guess you could say so,” he winked. “I’m also in charge of playin’ the keys for a few of our songs. You just didn’t get the chance to see or hear that tonight.”

You opened your mouth with a grin and a gasp. “I can’t wait to witness that.” Then, you added, “I’m sure it’s freaking incredible.”

He stuck out his bottom lip, and then shrugged with a nod. “Yeah, it is.”

You felt some of your nerves dissipate as you talked with him. He was someone that could make you feel calm instantly, just as Josh could. You peeked over at him, seeing him taking a break from talking to let Elsie say something.

You snorted at Sam, and shook your head at him. He spoke sincerely, “I’m glad you were able to come tonight.”

But before you could respond, Danny came and sat down next to Sam. He’d brushed his black curls back, neatly into a ponytail. 

He joyfully greeted you as soon as he saw you, “Y/n!” He reached out a fist to fist bump you. You squeezed your hand out from under your thigh, and reciprocated, bringing your hand back to you with an explosion. “What’d ya think?!”

“It was unbelievable!” You excitedly responded, tucking your hand back where it had been. You kept your focus primarily on Danny, refusing the urge to give in to the temptation to look for your roommate, who hadn’t come with him. “I still can’t believe you were all concealing that magic from me for so long.”

And just as you said that, you felt the booth next to you dip, still keeping your line of sight on Danny and Sam. But you knew just who it was in the booth with you as the person scooted closer—you could smell his delicious cologne. You blinked, your stomach dipping a few times as you felt him come so close. You didn’t want to initiate any conversation with him; you weren’t sure you could trust yourself to not trip over your words. 

“Speaking of magic,” Sam continued, filling the space. He looked at Jake, who was now situating his body to mimick Sam’s, as he leaned onto the table. “I’m glad you decided to do the guitar-behind-the-head thing tonight. That was fuckin’ sick, Jake.”

You nervously went to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and you ducked your head down to look at your thighs. When you did, you felt said guitarist’s thigh fit against yours. The sight of his thigh pressed to your bare one was enough to make you grow goosebumps. You let your eyes move over to his jean-clad lap. He then moved a bit to rub his hands down his thighs. You watched as his long fingers gripped his legs. You wanted him to touch yours the same. But, they didn’t. You followed his hands, which went to wrap back together on the table. He rubbed a thumb run smoothly over the top of his other hand. 

“Yeah,” he responded, then cleared his throat. You let your eyes find his face. You were so close, your eyes in direct view of the side of his tanned cheek. You could see every freckle, every scar on the smooth skin. “Figured it was the right time to pull that old trick out of the bag.” 

You weren’t ready when he moved his hand back to brush through his hair, his elbow coming back and almost connecting with your nose. You backed away just in time. He felt you jerk away, and he turned his head to you. 

When you caught his eyes, so close, you could see every fleck of the Amber in them, making his brown eyes that much more alluring. He looked concerned, and brought his hand up to your shoulder. The feeling of his skin on yours made your chest heat. “You okay?” He questioned, searching your face. 

His genuine concern was new to you, and it was as almost too much. All you could think about was the idea of his hands on other parts of your body. You didn’t want to look away, but the thoughts were becoming too much. “Y-yeah,” you honed in on your thighs again, distracting yourself. 

And when you looked down, you noticed him scoot the slightest bit away from you. And instantly missing the contact, you couldn’t stop your body from moving back over to him, reconnecting the side of your leg to his. 

You noticed him still just a bit at the action on your end, and then he relaxed into it. 

Danny broke the static in your brain. “How do you think it went, Jake?” 

“I,” he cleared his throat again, and at the same time, one of his hands came to rest on your thigh. It sent shockwaves to your brain. “I think it went pretty fuckin’ well,” he squeezed your thigh, then rubbed his thumb against the silky smooth skin (because, of course, you’d shaved everywhere to near perfection). His thumb drew shapes against your thigh, while his pinky skirted against the inside of your thigh. Your panties drew wetness. You were trying so hard not to show any reaction in front of the guys. 

You decided you’d take a drink from your Mojito, trying to get your senses loose, so you wouldn’t be so hyper focused. 

You felt a bit of the condensation from the outside of the glass drip against your leg. You clenched your legs at the feeling, trying to keep it from going into the crack your thighs made anytime they were pushed together. Jake reacted to this by smoothing his hand to the inside of your thighs. You focused hard on swallowing your drink as your tummy somersaulted, and your pussy clenched. You kept the skinny straw in your mouth, hoping it would mask whatever your face was surely doing. 

“Y/n,” Sammy said, bringing you in. You flicked your eyes up to his face, blinking once and setting your drink on the table. He seemed completely unaware of how Jake’s hand continued to move. “What did you think of Jake’s thingy?” 

Your eyes bugged a little, and you coughed on the drink that was still trying to make its way down. You tried swallowing, but the minty taste was burning your throat. And it just got worse when you tried to respond. You held a hand to your mouth, and decided it was probably best to excuse yourself. 

You needed to get away from Jake before anything else possibly happened in front of his brothers, anway.

You pointed to the back where the bathrooms were, and pushed against Jake to let you out. He got the clue that you needed to refresh, and moved until you were standing on your heels beside the table. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Using your hands as a bowl to gather water, you rinsed your throat once more with the sink water in the single stall women’s room. 

You dried your hands with a paper towel, and fixed some smudged mascara with it before you checked over yourself once more. Your outfit was holding up, still making your figure look tight. Grinning at yourself, you reached into your shirt to lift your boobs up, then smoothed your hands over your short skirt. 

Deciding you were good to go, you went to leave.

But when you pulled the door open, Jake was standing on the other side, his hand up, ready to knock. 

His hand slowly went down, and into one of his front pockets, his bicep flexing as he did so. You noticed how he licked his lips and took you in fully. 

You let yourself watch him as he watched you, admiring just how fucking beautiful he was. His long hair swooped to touch his shoulders, his tan and toned biceps snug in his fitted black button up. . . 

But— you were tired of this game. You didn’t want to just stare at him all the time. What you wanted was to finish what you’d stupidly cut off in your bedroom the night before. 

So, in a confident act, you stepped slowly, back into the bathroom, and made it obvious you were waiting for him, as you let your own gaze stay on him, eyes roaming his body. Your skin grew aflame as his lust-filled eyes found yours.

He stepped towards you, cautiously, as if prey were approaching a lion. But his stare was still intense as he followed you in, not afraid as prey might be, but confident and hungry for more. This had you suddenly starting to feel like the prey that wanted to be fucking devoured. 

You needed him. Now.

“Fuck me, Jake,” you tempted, voice so sultry and raspy. You were completely outside of yourself. There was no stopping this. You needed it. 

And that was all he needed. He took one last step into the bathroom, and shut the door harshly behind him, making quick work of locking the door. You studied his form, covered in black. His thighs looked so thick and ready to be straddled in his tight jeans. 

But, considering your situation, you weren’t thinking you’d get to do that tonight. Dammit. You backed up to the sink, knowing that was the only way you were going to make this possible. You were going to have to sit on it. 

You leaned against the porcelain, waiting for him. You bit your bottom lip when your eyes traveled down to see his hard cock that was stretching his jeans to the point of almost busting the zipper open. 

How was he already so. . .? He came to stand in front of you, and pressed his hips against yours, and you felt wet arousal gathering at the pressure from him. You needed that same pressure inside, filling you up. Your skin grew white hot at the thought.

“You knew just what the fuck you were doing with that little outfit, huh?” He told you, lowly in your ear.

He then did exactly what needed to be done, and lifted you by your thighs to sit you on the white porcelain sink. It was at a strangely perfect height for what needed to be done. It was like the restroom was made for this. 

You spread your legs, preparing to let him in, and all it did was make your thong moisten more. Your skirt rode all the way up to your waist. His eyes pored over your body and he came to stand right where you wanted him. He grasped the back of your neck in one hand, calloused fingers massaging the softness of the skin on your neck. He took five seconds to let his eyes behold yours, and then dove in. 

His lips met yours, which opened, ready for his tongue to entwine with your own. He readily let his tongue enter your mouth, and your eyes rolled back as it glided over and around yours. It fit so well in your mouth, you could only imagine what else would fit well in other places. You wanted—no, you needed more. 

You reached between your bodies, and held his belt buckle in your hands. You used your grip to bring his front even closer to yours, and when the front of his body met your lace-covered pussy, you couldn’t hide the soft whine that so easily came from your lips, and into his mouth. 

He groaned back, bucking his hips into you. And this time, the whine was louder— more of a mewl. He fed off of this, his tongue not leaving your mouth for a second. You pulled away, wanting his tongue in other places. 

Understanding, he let his tongue go all the way to the deepest valley between your perky breasts. He used a warm hand to untuck one breast from its place in your lacy top, and the nipple hardened on the spot. He leaned in to suck the soft nub into his mouth. He twirled around it, bringing a high pitched squeak from you. You heard a husky chuckle against the flesh. 

Then, he moved on, and licked down to the bottom of the deep v, all the way up to the edge of your jaw. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and pulled him in of their own accord. And he once again let his hips thrust up into yours. 

“Jake,” you cried. You reached to tangle your hands in his long brown locks. And just as you went to bravely roll your hips into his, he did the same. 

His soft lips still against your jaw, the two of you moaned loud. You were so relieved to be in a place that was quite literally bumping with music. 

He then backed away and took initiative. He unbuckled his pants and you made quick work of removing your panties. And when your bodies came back together, his dick was somehow still covered. 

You backed away, turning your eyebrows in as you saw his American Eagle boxer briefs that were stretched to hold his swollen dick. 

“Take off your fucking boxers,” you spouted, going to do it yourself despite your instructions. 

He pushed your hands away, his expression matching your own. “I have my own priorities.” 

And before you could snap back, he was getting down on his knees, still covered by his jeans to position his face at your leaking entrance. He grabbed your ass and pulled it closer to him. His breath felt hot against your wet and waiting folds. 

He then took the time to do the same thing he’d done when you started making out, and he gave your pink pussy the same lengthy gaze he’d given your eyes. 

It should have made you angry that he wasn’t starting on you yet, or just doing what you wanted first. 

But, instead, it made you have to bite your lip to hold back your whimper. The way he stared at your most private area was nothing short of intimate—romantic, even. 

Then, he peered up at you, this softness in his Amber-brown eyes as he did so, drinking you in. 

You felt yourself release more wetness as you observed him. His eyes were so open, so willing. When you sent him a small, sweet smile, he returned it, making your stomach erupt with a sort of secret intimacy. 

Once you’d had that quiet moment, he took that as a cue to begin. 

His perfect tongue licked from the end of your pussy, nearest your ass, up to the clit. And when he got to your bundle of nerves, it twitched in anticipation for his attention. He let his tongue swirl around it a few times, then nudged at the bottom of it with the very tip of his tongue, over and over. 

“Fuck,” you whined. You needed something to hold onto, so you grabbed his hair, pushing him closer into you. He hummed against you. You felt more wetness come from you, but he didn’t let it stay for long as he must’ve felt it against his chin and went to savor it with his waiting tongue. 

He continued on, and you let loose. You rocked your hips up to meet his tongue, every time he found your clit with it. Your body was vibrating with pleasure, as you felt the intense release coming so quickly. Your bud throbbed with need and he was so in tune, he wrapped his lips around it, sucking delicately while still letting the point of his tongue tease against it. You felt it coming as he did this, your impending orgasm just there— your clit throbbed with little jolts of need. 

You were close.

You fucked your pussy into his face—hard, his tongue finding your clit as it spasmed against him. You felt every nerve ending in your body set fire as you came, tensing, his mouth quickly moving to catch your wet release.

You came down from it slowly while he continued to lap at you, and you kept running your fingers through his hair, encouraging him to keep going as you felt more of your orgasm release onto his tongue. 

You looked down at him, realizing you hadn’t let yourself do that the entire time. And suddenly you knew you had to see it happen, just once. Because the sight of it right now, him catching every last bit of you, was enough to make you nearly faint. His eyebrows were concentrated just as they had been when he played his guitar so intricately. Maybe you’d need to let this happen again. 

You snapped out of your daze when you realized what you needed most in that moment, you still hadn’t gotten. You tapped Jake’s shoulder, and pushed yourself up into a more upright sitting position. 

He peered up at you, moving up from his position, his underwear tented even more than before. 

You reached your arms out, and wrapped them around his shoulders to bring him into you. You needed to feel him against you, inside of you. 

“I need you,” you breathed out, meeting his lips with yours as soon as you could. Having him here, so near to you, with the taste of you on his tongue—it all had you sighing into his warm mouth. 

He pulled away once more, and before you could get too disappointed, you opened your eyes to see he was stripping himself of his American Eagle printed boxer briefs. 

You would have giggled if the moment wasn’t taken over completely by you finally seeing his thick, tanned shaft for the first time. It bobbed in front of him, his precum leaking  from the tip. 

Your mouth was watering at the sight of him. 

You suddenly wished you weren’t in a cramped bathroom for your first—no, only—time having sex with him. You wanted to see all of him right now. His toned chest, his bare stomach—all of him, all at once. 

He tilted your chin up, so you could meet his eyes. You knew your eyes looked slightly sad. You couldn’t help feeling let down at the prospect of fucking him in a bathroom. For some reason, it seemed so wrong to do it like this. 

His expression was downcast. His eyebrows were turned in as he searched your face for more. “Y/n. . .,” he moved his hand from your chin to cup your cheek. “We don’t have to do this.”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. You weren’t sure how to say what you were thinking without it sounding like you viewed this as any more than it was—just sex. 

Yes, y/n, you reminded yourself. It is just fucking sex.

When you opened your eyes, you schooled your features and just let yourself live in the moment. “It’s nothing,” you reassured, both in response to your reaction and to remind yourself what this was. Nothing. It didn’t matter where you were, how not completely naked he was . . . “I want this, Jake. I promise.”

“We’re not going to do this if—.”

You shushed him gently, and put a finger to his lips. They were so velvety soft. All you wanted to do was kiss them again. So, you moved to put your arms around his shoulders once more. Feeling the head of his cock nudge between your folds, you bit back a moan. You were suddenly lightheaded, body buzzing with its want for him.

“Fuck, Jake,” you sighed, seeing his own eyes burning with wanton need. You smoothed your thumb over his cheek, leaning in to—.

“Y/n?!” You jumped when you heard Josh, his fist knocking heavily on the sturdy black door. “Sam said you choked, and I wanted to make sure you were okay!”

You hurriedly leapt off the sink, almost falling on your heels if Jake hadn’t reached out to help to steady you. 

“I’m-I’m okay, Joshy,” you responded in a much-too-cheerful tone, pulling your underwear up your legs, and your skirt over your ass. Jake started pulling his clothes up as you did. You were sad that this was coming to such an abrupt halt. “I was just taking a breather from all of the chaos!”

It was probably wrong to play on your anxiety, but you couldn’t think of any other excuse. And it wasn’t totally a lie. Your brain had been Jake-induced chaos when you’d started choking on your Mojito. 

“I’ll see you when you’re done,” he shouted, trying to fight the music for dominance. “But I gotta go find Jake, too. He said he was going to the bathroom, and now we can’t find him anywhere.”

You glared at the missing twin who was standing right in front of you. He was looking at you with a strange expression as you talked to Josh. He rolled his eyes at your look. 

You turned to comb through your fingers through your hair in the mirror. You caught sight of Jake, his face telling you just how much his disappointment matched your own at this being cut short. Although, there was something else lurking behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Your eyebrows dipped, studying him.

Still holding his gaze in the mirror, your heart beating so erratically, you responded, “I’ll help you, just give me a sec!”

He shouted back an ‘okay!’, and presumably went to continue looking for Jake. You took your eyes away from Jake in the mirror and turned on your heel, swallowing hard to face him. Your mind was going haywire with thoughts of your oblivious best friend and your smoking hot roommate who was looking extremely dispirited. 

The only thing that could come to you to say was, “I don’t want Josh to know.”

Jake scoffed at that and rubbed his forehead. He finished buckling his belt and ran a hand through his chestnut locks. “Fucking figures,” he responded harshly. 

“It’s not—,” you rubbed your forehead and groaned. You remembered his assumption about you and Josh, long ago when you’d established the rules. That wasn’t it at all. But how could you even begin to explain your thought process? You didn’t want to venture into that with him. Especially right now. You countered him with a pleading look. “I don’t want anyone to know, Jake,” you reasoned, adjusting your boobs in your shirt. 

He watched you do this, only momentarily, before his eyes hazed over with hurt. He pursed his lips, icily replying, “Of course you don’t.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You wouldn’t ever want—no, you know what? Just go out there,” he brushed another hand through his hair. You watched every movement wistfully, wishing you could go back to having your hands tangled in the waves. “I’ll miraculously appear in a few minutes. Just go.”

You wanted to clarify it for him. Make sure he knew your heart in all of this. But you didn’t even understand where you were. You wanted a good fuck, yes, but why did you want it so badly from Jake? Was it only because he was sexy as hell? Or was there something lying underneath the surface that you were scared to address? No, surely not. You suppressed all of this for the time being, watching your heels as you went to the door. 

Once more, before leaving the small room, you chanced one more look in his direction. He was still so close to you it was making your head buzz and your heart pound, thinking of everything that had just transpired—everything that almost had. But his features were set, his mouth in a firm line and his eyes stony. 

You sighed, wanting to say so much, but not even knowing what you could say. You didn’t know what this was. You just knew you didn’t want this to be the last time. You still wanted this with him. The feelings you’d had, how close you’d been to him. It was so fucking amazing, and you got to see a soft, hidden version of him that you wanted to witness over and over again. You didn’t want to give up on the idea, but you didn’t know where in the hell his head was. 

You huffed and exited the bathroom, ignoring the pounding in your chest that was telling you to go back in and somehow fix the situation. You only hoped it could somehow weave itself out. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

For the rest of June, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. 

Everything he did, you watched. He was just as pretty as he’d been before your stint in the bathroom—even more so after seeing him the way you had, being with him like that. 

Although, at that point, it wasn’t going any further than simply looking at him. Due to him being distant, once again, you were stuck with only getting a glance at him every now and again. Admittedly, it was ridiculous.

You didn’t know how to act around him. It was almost like you were back at square one—him being aloof and you not knowing what to do about it. You didn’t know what to say, so you’d tried putting New Girl on a few times when he was home to try and entice him to sit with you. At the very least, you just wanted to be near him like you’d been before. 

But he never came to sit with you. He’d stay in his bedroom. And if he had to come out for anything, all he’d offer was a little nod as he passed through. It was obvious he didn’t want anything to do with you. 

Had you hurt his feelings? It hadn’t been that serious. Right? How could it have made him so upset? 

Was it the opposite? Had he decided it was a giant mistake and this was how he was handling it? From the way he’d been with you that night, it seemed like that wasn’t very possible. . .but you wouldn't put it past him. If you were being honest, being with him seemed almost too good to be true. 

But, either way, whatever he was feeling, he was acting real mature about it.

So, when you’d go to watch the many other shows they’d been booked for in June, you stood near the back to watch and didn’t stick around afterwards to say hi. You’d text Josh that they’d done a great job (because every time, they seemed to wow you more and more than before). But, you didn’t want to force Jake to interact with you if that wasn’t what he wanted. 

But he was so goddamn electrifying when he’d perform, he never failed to undo you from his spot on the stage. And after every show, you’d go home and try your hardest to take care of it. But it never came close to how his mouth fulfilled you. 

By the end of the month, you had become more irritated with him than anything. Why did he have to handle the situation like a damn child? If it was disappointment he was feeling, it wasn’t like you hadn’t been extremely disappointed as well. But the difference was, you weren’t going to sap around and treat him like he barely existed. 

Though, despite him ignoring you, he was still all you wanted. You craved being with him. 

You were stuck on your desire to try and pursue it. You still wanted to fulfill the unadulterated lust that presented itself anytime you laid eyes on him. Your body would flare up with hot flames anytime you would think of the night at Baby’s All Right, see him on stage, or when his dark eyes would connect with yours at home. 

But you weren’t even close to touching on that with him if he wasn’t going to try to talk to you in any other circumstance. You’d wait until the next time he came to you with something. You weren’t going to poke and prod at him—you would let him come to you first. 

Because God forbid you piss Jake Kiszka off any fucking more than you apparently already had.

Jesus. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

July began with you starting a four week summer class on campus. Since you’d been struggling to care for writing as much as you once had, Elsie had advised you to take a writing course so you could work on relocating your passion for the craft.

And God already knew you could use something to distract you from your nonstop thoughts of your roommate.

When you’d shown up on the first day of class, you’d actually noticed a guy you’d dated your sophomore year of high school, Theodore. 

He’d moved away at the end of that year, so you had never been able to take it any further than a little teenage romance. He’d been a part of a lot of your firsts, including your first time. 

So, when you saw him, you were flooded with all sorts of memories and how close you’d felt to him once, a long time ago. Seeing him felt like taking a time machine to a carefree time in your past. And maybe feeling like a girl with no cares in the world—maybe that was what you needed to find your passion for writing again. 

Theo had always loved the art of writing with you. And thinking back on it, the other people in your life had quite loved how he could calm you when you could become too much. Save for Elsie. She’d despised that about him, claiming you needed to be able to fully be yourself with a partner. 

She had been happy when he’d moved away for that reason. She had been insistent that you’d blossomed into your own when he’d left.

But maybe having him back in your life would be just what you needed. Get your mind off Jake, and back where it belonged. 

He didn’t notice you until you were packing up after class, and he came over to you. 

You were just slinging your backpack over your shoulder when he approached.

“Y/n?” He asked, seeming excited to see you again. 

And you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t really awesome to see him as well. You winked at him. “I noticed you when I walked in. I was wondering if you’d eventually see me,” you grinned.

The biggest smile spread across his pale cheeks. Though, it didn’t do the same thing that Jake’s smile would do to you. It did feel nice for a guy to seem happy to see you, though. 

“Why didn’t you come sit with me?!” He leaned an arm on the professor’s podium. “I was back there all by myself,” he threw a thumb at the back of the room. 

You giggled. “I didn’t know if you’d recognize me.”

“I could never forget those big beautiful eyes,” his own eyes squinted with a smile. You knew you were blushing. He was still so sweet. He had the same boyish charm you’d fallen for as a girl.

You stepped out from behind your table, straightening your shoulders. You wrapped your backpack around them, and weren’t even thinking of your roommate when you asked him what you did next. 

“Why don’t we get together sometime? Maybe study, help each other out with the class?” 

He seemed genuinely surprised you’d ask. “I don’t think you need my help, you genius girl, but I’d love to see you outside of here.”

And again, he had you blushing. What was the harm in having an extra friend around?

-🌼🌼🌼-

After you left campus, you headed to the coffee shop where you were meeting Josh to catch up. It had been a while, with the band taking up so much of his time.

You were a little late getting there after standing to talk with Theo after class. But you knew it was fine as Josh was notoriously late. 

When you arrived, you ordered your drink and waited at a table in the back for your friend. 

And almost as soon as you got comfortable, your head snapped up at the sound of a child laughing. It always caught your attention, as you relished in seeing a child’s joy. You didn’t get the chance to feel such happiness as a kid, so you enjoyed seeing it in other children. 

But this time, when you looked up at the sound, the little girl connected eyes with you. Her eyes were still bright with her giggles, and you smiled back with a wave. The tall woman with her appeared to be her mother, who was also grinning wide at her child’s amusement. She was shaking her head, besotted by her child. 

Your heart clenched at the sight and sound, and you couldn’t put your finger on the exact emotion you were feeling. Watching this seemed to flip a switch in your brain that had grown dust over time due to being disregarded.

You turned away, letting the pair have their serene moment. You looked down at your chipped black nails, messing with them as you let your thoughts roam to your own mother. You hated thinking of her, and nothing ever really made you. Not even seeing a mom happy with her kid, but this time felt different. 

You hadn’t really taken time to ruminate on any thoughts of your mom after talking to Elsie about your childhood the other day. But you felt yourself going down that path now. Talking to your sister had brought up a lot of lost feelings. 

Were you only feeling jealous of the child? Was that the feeling that had pinched your heart? Since the absence of your mother was like a scabbed over wound, now broken fresh in your mind? 

You peeked over at the mother-daughter duo once more, and you realized it wasn’t necessarily jealousy. It was a deep seeded longing.

Your youth had been cut short by your mom leaving. You felt as though you’d lost so many essential pieces of you when she’d abandoned you. You wished you could find some way to experience that feeling of love that had been so lacking. 

You decided to put it out of your mind for the time being when you saw Josh enter the establishment, who seemed just as enamored, grinning and dancing with the vivacious child.  

Then, he caught your eye and you shared a sad look. His face seemed to say ‘I know.’ And for some reason, all you wanted was for Jake to be the one sharing this heart-rending moment with you, rather than his brother.

Strange. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: or is it so strange?... hm... please make sure to tell me what you thought and what you're looking forward to most! i love hearing from all of you <3 (ps: i promise sex is coming soon lmaooo)

Talk On The Street that reader witnessed!

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity

[aliciavance4228]

Here Are Some Things From Greek Mythology That Are Purely Nightmare Fuel

Note: Long post because Greek Mythology is completely fucked up.

-Many of the monsters:

The Lernaean Hydra (a serpent with nine heads, that can continually regrow severed heads).

The Chimera (a hideous amalgamation of a lion, a goat and a dragon)

Cerberus (a vicious three-headed dog that in some myths had a back covered in living serpents).

Orthrus (Cerberus's two-headed, serpent-tailed little brother), and various other creatures definitely count.

Perhaps the worst is Typhon — father of the above along with the Mother of All Monsters, Echidna — Typhon is described by some writers as being as tall as the sky itself, and having a hundred dragon-like heads, all of which screamed and breathed fire. It's not hard to see why almost all the gods had a collective fear when he appeared, and fled Greece, leaving Zeus to face the creature by himself.

And then there's creatures like Scylla and, even worse, Charybdis, once beautiful women turned into eldritch things of pure horror. Scylla we at least know is horrifying to observe, looking like a giant, beautiful women from the waist up, with a scaled tail below, and the heads of six rabid wolves snapping at her waist.

Medusa, whose face was apparently so frightening that anyone who saw her turned into stone. Much like Scylla and Charybdis above, she also used to be a beautiful woman before the Gods transformed her, except when she was a monster from the beginning.

-Prometheus' fate of being chained to a rock and having an eagle peck out his liver each day. He endured it for hundreds of years before being released.

-Similarly, the fate Chiron faced before he sold his immortality: living forever, with the maddening poison of the Hydra eternally burning through his veins.

-The fate of mortals unfortunate enough to piss off the gods:

Actaeon, a man who accidentally walked in on a bathing Artemis, who turned him into a deer and had him killed by his own dogs.

Erysichthon, who chopped down one of Demeter's trees, was infected with eternal hunger and eventually ate himself.

Phineas, son of Poseidon, was randomly gifted with the ability to perceive past and future. This access to knowledge threatened the gods so Zeus struck him blind and further punished him with starvation by being attacked by Harpies every time he tried to eat. It’s a good thing that Jason came along and, with the aid of the Argonauts, was able to kill the Harpies so Phineas could eat again- some depictions have him so starved that he’s horrifically thin.

So, you're friends with Aphrodite, and she want to marry you, eldest son of Nereus, old man of the sea. That's good, right? Well, dad says no. You tell your girlfriend that, and even though it's not your fault, she turns you into a polyp.

-Ephilatus and Otus tried invading Olympus. They eternally drown in the center of a waterfall, tied by snakes to a pillar, while Fate watches them as an owl. Ouch!

-Some of the evil people whom Theseus defeated:

Procrustes, who tied his victims to a bed and either stretched them on a rack or chopped off body parts if they did not fit.

Sinis who bent down two pine trees with his great strength, tied the hands of passer-bys to the tips of the two trees, and then let go.

Sciron, another bandit, was tame by comparison, but still pretty terrifying—living on a cliff overlooking the sea, he posed as a kindly old man and asked travelers to help him wash his feet. If they accepted, he'd wait for them to kneel...then he'd kick them off the cliff. Depending on the version, they'd either fall to their deaths or be devoured by a giant turtle that lurked in the waves below. Either way, Sciron very clearly did this for fun.

Phaea, who terrorized Crommyon, had a gigantic man-eating sow for a pet that accompanied her on her raids on the eponymous town. Sure, Theseus killed her, but the fact that this old lady had a big-ass pig for a pet should say something about her personality.

-The Minotaur's young victims were imprisoned in the labyrinth and force to run for their lives until the beast catches and devours them or they drop dead of exhaustion, hunger and thirst. It's like the first teen slasher flick.

-The future Olympians were able to live and grow in Cronus' stomach. How exactly? Squick indeed.

-Antaeus the giant, who was building a temple using human skulls.

-A non-mortal prisoner of Tartarus was Arke, Iris' lesser known sister. It was said that during the Titanomachy, Arke had betrayed the Olympians in favor of the Titans and became their messenger. When the Olympians won the war, Zeus not only cast her into Tartarus along with the Titans, he also tore her wings off for good measure.

-Princess Elera was impregnated by Zeus abd then hidden. She gave birth to a giant named Tityos... and died during chilbirth.

It is written that once he came of age he tried to force himself on Leto. Fortunately, Artemis and Apollo heard their mother's cries of distress and killed Tityos by raining arrows upon him. As his afterlife punishment he gets sent off to Tartarus to be forever eaten alive by eagles not unlike Prometheus but without anyone freeing him.

-King Diomedes, who fed humans to his flesh-eating horses. In a Karmic Death and/or Ironic Death twist, he himself was fed to them.

-Oedipus; Imagine marrying your own mother and unknowingly having intercourse with her! Horrible! Then, to top it all off, Oedipus gouged his own eyes out after he discovered all of this. Honestly guys put the blame on Freud for all the "Joe Mama" jokes.

-The rape of Callisto. She was raped (once she realized who her attacker really was and what he was going to do she fought), by Zeus disguised as his daughter Artemis. Callisto was a follower of Artemis and one of the goddess’s favorite companions.In other words, Callisto was raped by a god in the form of her best friend. Callisto is cast out, turned into a bear, separated from her son for 15 years, and upon seeing him after those 15 years, is almost killed by him. (In some versions they are only spared by one killing the other or killing each other by Zeus literally invoking Mama Bear in turning the son into a bear cub, upon which all fighting ceases).

-Athena's birth. The clanging produced when Metis forged Athena's armor gave Zeus a massive headache, and he was willing to do anything to stop the headache...ANYTHING, including go to one of his least favorite people in the world, Hephaestus, and have him split his skull wide open. Then, Athena burst out of Zeus' bleeding skull, fully grown and armored, and letting out a battle cry.

-Her mother, Metis, was fated to give birth to a son more powerful than Zeus. So he turns her into a fly and swallows her whole.

-The Graeae. Dear Gods, the Graeae! Spooky old witches who only had one eye and one tooth among them. They shared both items among themselves and even fought over both! Even worse, some versions say that they were half-human and half-swan.

-Medea. Where to start? First, she killed her brother and threw his diced up corpse into the sea bit by bit to make sure she and her boytoy Jason escaped her father, the king of Colchis. When Jason dumped her for a princess, she then decided to murder the princess with a cloak that instantly turns the wearer into a fireball. She also kills Jasons' future father-in-law, and finished this up by killing the kids that the couple had together. She makes her get-away by flying into the sky on a chariot driven by Dragons. Finally, Medea manages to make peace with her father afterwards by killing her uncle, who had deposed the father as king. She is Nightmare Fuel for anyone who goes through messy divorces with psychopaths.

-Lycaon. He (or his sons, depending on the version) knew full well that Zeus makes a habit of dropping by in disguise to see if kings and hosts behave as they should, so when the big guy did show up, they suspected he might actually be Zeus. So what do they do to put him to the test? Why, kill a child from the next village over and serve him up as food. So Zeus turns them into the first werewolves, in some versions even noting that nothing about their behavior changed.

-The myth of Hades and Persephone has many interpretations, but the original, ancient tale is pure horror at its finest from both the perspective of Demeter and Persephone. Persephone is out picking flowers with her friends and strays from the group when she spots a narcissus, which is really a trap laid out by Hades to ensnare her. When Persephone plucks the flower Hades bursts out of the earth in his chariot and pulls her in while she is vainly attempting to fight him off and screaming for help, but they plunge to the earth before anyone can come to the goddess's aid. Hades arrives in his kingdom with his justifiably terrified bride-to-be and drops the bomb that they're getting married on her while the poor girl is still trying to process the fact that she was just snatched from her home, her beloved mother and everything else she's ever known, and is about become her abductor's wife and queen of his kingdom.

-Hera was a notoriously jealous goddess. While Zeus's infidelities were hardly admirable, her responses to them were nothing short of horrifying. She would wreak cruel vengeance against the women he slept with, including those who didn't know their lover's true identity and even women her husband raped. Not only that, she's incredibly malicious to his children, even though it's obviously not their fault they were fathered by the King of the Gods.

-In the Dionysiaca, we have Typhon spelling out to Zeus all the lovely things he plans on doing to the Olympians when he takes over.These include, but are not limited to...

Chaining up Poseidon with the same chains that Iapetus is bound by.

Sending a bigger, stronger eagle (possibly Typhon's own offspring) to peck out Hephaestus' liver to avenge Prometheus.

Trapping Hermes in a jar forever.

Forcibly marrying off Artemis, Leto and Athena and letting their husbands rape them.

Forcing Hera to marry him (Typhon) specifically.

-Think about what poor Leto had to go through when Hera found out she was pregnant with Zeus' twins—Hera basically tells Leto she's banned from giving birth literally anywhere on Earth, starts spying on her as she desperately searches for someplace to give birth and in some versions sends a freaking dragon to chase Leto as she wanders. And just when Leto finally found a haven (sometimes provided by Poseidon at Zeus' behest) to give birth, a massive storm happens and the Goddess of Childbirth (sometimes Hera, sometimes her daughter) refuses to help her, leaving poor Leto to desperately cling to her patch of land and give birth, hoping that the storm doesn't wash her away. Fortunately, she succeeds.

-Hades has a helmet that makes him invisible and according to some even intangible (meaning he can go through walls while wearing it). While he IS one of the nicer ones, that does beg the question... How does someone know that he's down where his job is and not, uh, right behind you?

[chronotsr]

No. 2 - G2, The Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl (July 1978)

Author(s): Gary Gygax Artist(s): Erol Otus, Dave C. Sutherland III, David A. Trampier (cover) Level range: Average of 9, preferably 5+ players Theme: Standard Swords and Sorcery Major re-releases: G1-3 Against the Giants, GDQ1-7 Queen of the Spiders, Against the Giants: The Liberation of Geoff, Dungeon #199, Tales from the Yawning Portal

On the heels of being more impressed with G1 than I expected, will G2 be similarly impressing? Time to find out!

The intro blurb is mostly a repeat of the text of G1, including admonitions that running stock is for villains. Our motivation remains: figure out why the hill giants did that, no matter how fucking dangerous it is. Interestingly, the other main objective of G1 (give 'em a bloody nose) is not relevant here, because that teleport means that the frost giants aren't a threat to the villagers themselves. In fact, the room teleportation schtick kind of means G2 is filler? Like, the big reveal that the G series leads to the D series is not really impacted by the events of G2. So, oops!

Conveniently, the magical chain teleports out outside the rift so you can once again have a secret cave HQ. I feel like you have a responsibility as a GM to have a giant counterattack to at least one of these caves.

I really like the imagery of the descent into the rift here. I mean, I don't think this illustration really does it justice, imagining the deep blue color of light barely passing through the ice and how that gives the area beneath the surface an eerie oceanic glow at all times other than noon -- that's some good vibes. Gary opts for green, which is a fair enough choice. Unfortunately, Gary is more interested in simulating the mounting climbing than vibes, which means that at least one of your party members is going to fall face first into the snow drift below. Gary "generously" caps the damage at 10d6 (avg 35 dmg) -- a level 9 fighter, to be clear, has 9d10 hp (avg 45 hp) and a level 9 magic user has 9d4 hp (avg 23), so that's not ideal. Also recall that you recover 1hp per full day of rest normally, so if you fall and survive you're probably still fucked unless your cleric has a lot of spells left. I'm also pretty sure your cave HQ is above the cliff face, so, risking the descent seems like suicide to me. You're going to lose people and even leaving to heal them back up is simply taking another chance at oblivion. Take the stairs.

If you have the audacity to slow fall down, you will be blown 75ft off course in a random direction. Very cool Gary!

Another interesting detail: monsters in classic DND have a pretty short attention span and will lose you fairly quickly if you flee around a corner. This is particularly amped up here to a breezy 4 in 6 odds of success, due to blizzards blocking chase.

Anyway, we're into the room by room, so let's do some room by room shit.

There is a kind "spiked heads of our enemies at the gates" situation, with corpses mutilated and frozen in transparent ice as a warning to not intrude. Honestly that's badass. What's not badass is if the players have the wherewithal to try and free the corpses (for loot or kindness), most routes lead to the treasure being destroyed and the roof collapsing -- probably instantly killing your squishies.

The hill giants from G1 are lolling about waiting for an audience, so points for continuity. I have to imagine they're freezing their asses off, though.

There are yetis here? Which, going on the graphic and the listed intelligence score in the MonMan, I have to conclude are sentient bipedial apes but like, NOT like the Frost Giants. Actually apparently the average yeti is smarter than the average frost giant, so I guess it's a Diogenes situation where they choose to live in a shitty cave when everyone else has a nice cave?

The 5 hill giants visiting the Jarl have 1k to 6k gold fur cloaks, which like. Imagine a 6,000 gold cloak. Not only is it got to be huge (Hill Giants are 10.5ft tall), for it to be worth 6k to a vendor that's got to be a one-piece fabric cloak off a particularly rare and good condition animal. I guess the players could use it as the world's fanciest comforter?

The official appearance of a Remoraz! These are awful creatures. They swallow you whole and then superheat their insides to cook you. Nasty side effect: its outsides become furnace-hot and destroy nonmagical items and burn people to death. Look at this horrible thing! And of course it's guarding the swankiest loot to date -- a +2 Giantslaying Sword and a 3 Wishes Ring. It's been a weird trend lately that the best loot is, not owned by the leader of the Giants? The best hoard seems to always belong to Some Guy. Naturally this awesome loot "sinks into the ice" if you use a fireball, because this adventure has an addiction to telling the wizard to fuck off. Note that the sword being lost punishes the fighter for the magic users' decision. Note also that the Remoraz going into superheat mode doesn't do the same thing? It sucks. This clause sucks. Cut it. The actual room itself is kind of neat, the implication is that the Remorhaz melted a spherical hole into the ice to make a den, which is awesome.

Another iconic Garyism: ". They have had audience with the Jarl, and after a special wassail to be held on the morrow they will depart for home with a treaty scroll." Translation: They're goin to have a drinking party tomorrow to celebrate a treaty signing.

And like, one room later, we get "leman", which means lover, and "durance vile", which means long imprisonment. The text implies that basically, she's a hot butch storm giantess being held in chains until she agrees to fuck the Jarl. Gary, simply ask a tall woman out. You don't have to be weird about it.

Rather than torches, the feast hall is lit with jarred fire beetles, which is kinda cute

There is a thick iron bar that "transports whosoever is standing on the floor to the entrance of Snurre's Hall [G3]". The iron bar is a lever, obviously, but is this a lever-operated teleporter? An elevator that goes straight down? G3 eliminates the elevator theory, since apparently you can arrive here via pegasus and there are caves one can access overhead. So it's a literal teleporter, and at least how I'm reading it makes it sound more science fiction than magic. Weird.

On the whole, G2 is a massive step down from G1. G2 lacks the factionalism of G1, punishes players for damn near anything attempted, and is broadly less imaginative than G1. It's a pity, really, because it's a far more interesting locale on paper, but the reality is that you could generate a cave like this by scribbling randomly. Meh. Next time we poke G3, and hope hope hope that it's more like G1 than G2.

[truths33k3r4]

( TW for minimal description of surgery, ptsd, trauma, mentioned needles, mentioned torture )

CHAPTER 11 - A Steady Hand and a Racing Heart

Lotus’ eye lids twitched and slowly slid open as consciousness swept through her body once more. Her fingers and toes tingled the smallest bit as she tried to stretch her tight muscles, but a quick flat pressure clamped down onto her left thigh, cutting off all movement. 

She took a deep breath through her nostrils, shuttering and nearly gagging at the fumes of antiseptic and rubbing alcohol. 

The bright light beamed above.

Something was holding her down.

Her mind began racing, just barely syncing with the rapid rhythm of her heart.

The flames of the past began burning into Lotus’ mind, filling her thoughts with a deep smaug.

‘ “ Lotus. You are safe. “ ‘

The calm voice of Donatello echoed to her. 

‘ “ Leo won’t hurt you. YOU CAN TRUST HIM. “ ‘

The smoke and sparks of her past slowly extinguished by the reminder of her present.

‘ I AM SAFE. ‘

She chanted those words over and over, almost like a mantra or a spell that she needed to repeat in order to keep it protecting her.

‘ I AM SAFE. I AM SAFE. I AM SAFE. ‘

All of a sudden there was a second voice she could hear. At first, it was muffled and joined with a low ringing sound, but that quickly faded to reveal it was Leonardo’s.

Lotus slowly turned her head so she could see the blue-clad mutant. 

“ L..lleooo? “

“ ~ OTUS! ~ Oh crap~ Uh ok~ ON’T MOVE. “

‘ “Don’t move” ???? Is that why he’s holding down my leg? What’s happening??? “

“ Wha’s goin on?.. Where.. where am I againn? “ Lotus slurred.

Leo’s eyes widened in panic. 

‘ HOW IS SHE AWAKE? She was exhausted!! I used the Lidocaine! She shouldn’t have felt anything!!  Wait. Ok, wait. Maybe she’s still numb.. She’s just- awake now. But that doesn’t mean the Lidocaine didn’t work.. ‘

Leo decided to test something out. 

He slowly and cautiously twisted the tweezers still in the incision in Lotus’ leg. 

“ -OW! “ Lotus’ face twisted in pain as her eyes opened wide. “ WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY- AKH! “

Leo stopped.

Time slowed as understanding crashed down on Leo like a tidal wave.

‘ She can still feel her leg.. the lidocaine wore off.. ‘

As Lotus’ eyes filled with fear, Leo’s became overwhelmed in dread.

He began going through every mental checklist, every article, every book chapter. What could he have done wrong? He followed all the steps to a tee! WHAT WENT WRONG??

‘ How did the Lidocaine wear off?!!! I administered the right amount!! I did everything correctly. EVERYTHING! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING???! ‘

Leo cursed himself for not using laughing gas or something to sedate Lotus, but it was far too late for that now. 

And even if he had… would it have worn off just as fast?

Leo cut off his thoughts dead in their tracks as he brought himself back to the present.

‘ Ok.. Breathe Leo.. State facts. That’s what Don would say. State.. Facts.

..ok..

..Fact: I have a completely awake patient now.

Fact: The lidocaine has worn off.

Fact: That means I’m HURTING HER.

Fact: SHE’S AWAKE AS MY TWEEZERS ARE STUCK IN BETWEEN THE MUSCLES IN HER LEG. 

.. Ok maybe stating facts won’t help.. ‘

Lotus still had her eyes set on Leo as she witnessed the mental battle being fought in his head. His eyes darted back and forth, his lip quivered, and she could’ve sworn he muttered something about Don.. 

And then her consciousness betrayed her. 

Being aware of her surroundings also meant she would now be aware of what was happening to her body. A hot, searing burn quickly slithered up her leg, mixed with an icy sting of something.. moving.

..Something was moving.. IN HER LEG..

“ Ow!- ow- OW!! Agh- “ Lotus winced hard and gritted her teeth as the cold burn grew.

Leo’s breath became sparse and quick as he turned his head to Lotus.

He took a shuddering inhale.

His grip on the tweezers tightened.

‘ PLEASE LET THIS BE QUICK. ‘

“ Lotus.”

Lotus’ unblinking lavender eyes looked up to his.

She was terrified.

And it was his fault.

His voice refused to hold it's form in order to speak, so he simply mouthed the words,

“ I’m sorry. “

As quickly as he could, his wrist twisted and yanked up.

Lotus’ head buried into her plastron as a scream burst through her throat. She tried to grab for whatever it was that was causing the pain radiating from her leg, but Leo’s vice-like hold stayed firm and unmoving. 

“ AAAGKHH!!! “

‘ I know- I know- I’m sorry!! ‘

Lotus’ body tensed harshly as her toes curled deep into the surgical table, crinkling the flimsy surgical blanket underneath her.

Memories and nightmares smeared over reality, flashing Lotus back to being strapped down.

Gagged.

Poked.

Prodded.

ALONE.

Shadowy forms approached her with needles, saws, and scalpels. 

The items gave off a small shine like the menacing smiles on the forms’ faces.

Another scream crawled out of her mouth as Leo tried again to pull the implant out.

‘ WHY ISN’T THIS OVER. I GOT OUT. WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?? WHY AM I STILL BEING TORTURED????!! I’M NEVER GOING TO BE FRE- “

“- HANG ON, LOTUS! IT’S ALMOST OUT! “

She shot her eyes open.

The shadows melted away.

The restraints faded.

The darkness vanished.

She no longer saw sinister scientists, but instead, a very focused, very scared mutant turtle.

His eyes didn’t glow with evil intent, but with..

..tears.

His hands were both shaking under the tight grip.

He looked just as terrified as she was.

Lotus tried to breathe again, but all that escaped her mouth were dry coughs. 

Her throat burned.

“ I’M SORRY, LOTUS, I’M SO SORRY. “

Leo jerked his head down to his shoulder and tried to rub off the blurring tears. 

He tried so hard to choke back the sob trying to weasel it’s way out, settling for shaky, sparse breaths. His heartrate sky-rocketed with adrenaline and stress, but he put all his focus into keeping a steady hand.

‘ PLEASE.. COME ONNNN..’

With one more final agonizing pull, the implant jittered inbetween the tweezers’ lips.

IT WAS OUT.

With a light *clink* it landed into the small surgical dish next to Leo.

He swallowed hard, and timidly looked down to Lotus.

Her head remained nuzzled into her plastron, while her whole body trembled in pain and fear.

‘ I DID THIS TO HER. ‘

Leo rubbed his wet eyes on his other shoulder.

“ .. I got it, Lotus..It’s out. “ Leo whispered.

Both Lotus and Leo heaved a weighted sigh as they turned away from the other to wipe away their tears.

Lotus’ body still shook as she tried to slow her breathing.

Leo, too, tried to calm himself down.

Lotus rose her head, looking to Leo with questions in her eyes. ( The same look as a child to their parent at the doctors’ office. )

‘ Is that it? Is it done? ‘

Leo’s brow tightened as his face became solemn once more. 

His grip that remained on her leg tightened with his expression.

That was answer enough for her:

‘ THIS ISN’T OVER. ‘

Whooooo that was a longer one! :)

Hope you enjoyed!

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[thatcheeseycandle]

//SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 29 OF IN PURSUIT OF SELF SINCE YKNOW REACTION POST

Preparing myself as I read this BEHHAHDHD

I LOVE HOW THE TITLE CARD IS THE SAME ONE FROM THE CROWNED ENGINE YAYDYSHDVC

Ohg osg OH NGOBOONNOO CLUNC ASLTLE GET OTU GET OTU MOVE

.

MS PARSONS YOU LITTLE. YOU MY GOSH YOU JUST ABANDONED CLUNC ASTLE. NY GOAHAHDDHHA

Oi OI OI OOOJOJIII BLUE OETER WOOOOOOO BLUE PETER LETS GOOOOOOO

Ngl I almost felt bad for Clun Castle on this bit HEHAHAHHAHDDHWH LIKE I KINDA RELATED TO THAT BIT WHERE YKNOW YEAH NOT BEING IMPORTANT YADAYDADYAYD THAT YEAH

OI GREEN ARROW GRENE AOREOQODID YEHAHAHAHAHDHDHHHHHH LETS GOGOO

HEHAHSHWGEGAHAHAHHDHD VERY DRAMATIC ENTRANCE AND POOR GORDON HELWPDHDHDHSHHA

YEAHAHAH EVENING STAR THEY GOT YOUR BACJ WE AINT LETTING TYDFIL DIE ON US NOW IM TELLING YOU LOT WE ARENT

Oh goah OH NO STH IS HERE *INSERT HIS THEMEAONG CAUSE IT PLAYED IN MY HEAD AS I READ HIS NAME*

Oh no.. OH GOSH CLUN CASTLE RUN. YOU GOTTA RUN FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS AND ABOVE YOU HAVE TO RUN NOW ITS FIGHT OR FLIGHT YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE FLIGHT SINCE THERES NO GOING BACK NO ONE AINT GONNA BE THERE DIOS

FATHER FIGURE STH HERE HES HERE EVERYONE WOOOOO YEAHAHHAHS FATHERLY TRUST LRTS GOGOGOGOODJSHF

Oh gosh OJ NO HERE WE GO WE GONNA SEE THE GDC (Gold dust constructs) BUZZ AND BRAWL WE GONNA SEE THEM GO ALL OUT

Dr Hendrick GREAT NORTHERN LOOKS CLEARLY DEAD WOULD YOU ATLEAST GIVE HIM SOME OF YOUR ATTENTION LIKE DIOS- BEHAHSHEHSHS

Ooguugughrgb Mallard poor lad:( LISTEM LISTEN THEY GOTTA FIND OUT IT WAS MS PARSONS CAUSE DIOS IM LITERALLY JUST CHEERING THEM ON TO FIND HER AND JUST GO ALL OUT

IMAGINE LIKE ROOSTER AND QUICKSILVER AND YKNOW SILVERFOX FINDING OUT LIKE COME ON OF COURSE THEY'D TEAM UP TO VERBALLY BATTLE IT OUT WITH MS PARSONS (Though I think Rooster might go physically battle it out WHO KNOWS BAHEHAHHDHSBD)

"I tried to save him. It failed. I decided to return him to his family" I WILL CRY. HERE GOES THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER ERVYONE THIS IS THE START STRAP ON THOSE SEATBELTS TIGHTLY

aaweeweeaaaAQEHAHDHEHEEUEUDYD GADWALL PECKING HER HAND ITS JUST OSUUDHHGGH

them THEM>>>>

YEAH NO CRAP SHERLOCK OF COURSE ITS GADWALL?? (Seriously though NEVER THOUGHT THAT HERBERT WOULDVE BEEN GADWALL THIS ENTIRE TIME LIKE BEFORE READING THIS NEW CHAPTER AS I READ THOSE CHAPTERS WITH HIM AND MALLARD IT MADE MORE SENSE THAT GADWALL WOULDVE BEEN IT)

Oh gosh OGHDOGOGOSOASAAAAAAAA

I CALLED UT IC ALLSELD ITTTTTTTTTT WELL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND ALL GENDERS HERES PART ONE OF THE GOLD DUST CONSTRUCT REUNION LETS GO GOGOGOGOGOGOO

DARLING PEONY DIOS- Oh god SCOT SCOT LOGOFKY AWYAY LOOK AWAY. LOOK. A. WAY. LOOK AWYA DIOS

SOMEONE SGIELD THEIR EYES THEY CANT SEE NORTH DEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA

NONONONONONONONONOO PEONY DEAR PLEASE NONONONOONO

Rooster ROOSTER ROPAAOEDT NAOAOODIFODOOO

SCOTSMAN GET YOUR HAND SOFF HIM DIOS HE DIDNT KILL MY GOSH IM NO NOONONONONOONONONONONONONOOO

Red loqiuid.. RED NNONONONONONOOOOBOOBONONONOOOOOCONONONONOMOO SCOT YOU LIYYLE NO NONONOOBOBABS DIOS JUSKO NO THIS CNANTNO NOBOONONOOOO THIS CANT.

MALLARD BANDAGE UP YOUR HEAD YOUR LITERALLY BLEEDING. PEONY GOD SOMEONE SUPPORT PEONY RN.

Oh dios well HERE COMEA COPPERNOB- GO STEPHEN YEAH GO GOOGOGOGOGO

Wait wait HWAT STEPEHENS EH HAS A WHAT NOW. WHATATTA

JAW DROPPEDBAT THIS

GET HER OSCAR GET HER SLAM HER DOWN DO IT GOGOGOGOGOGOO DO IT KNPCK HER OUT KO HER RN

. Ms parsons YOU LITTLE AAAAZS YUP IM GONNA TUROW THIS PHONE SOON /NSRS

Wait what WHAT IS OLIVIA A GDC???? WHAT WAIT WAIT HOW. SHE LITERALLY. WAIT. SHES. WAIT. OH NVM WAIT I THINK THATS JUST MS PARSONS BEING LOKO YEAH DW DW YEAH.

YEAH YEAH GO ALL OUT OSCAR GOG GOOGOGOGO LIGHT HER UP GO YEAH YEHAHAHAHH

. oscar yknow sharing is caring SO SHOW THAT VERY UH THAT VERY CRAZY WOMAN ON HOE MAD YOU ARE DONT HOLD BACK

Ay AYAYAYAYYY AY AY MR CORBYN LETS GOGOGOGOGOOGOOO YEHAHAHAHAHH

Wait. Golden warden.. OKAY YEAH I BETTER NOTE TGAT DOWN YEAH MR CORBYN IS APPARENTKY A GOLDEN WARDEN YEAH NOTED

Oh dear lord OKAY YEAH PREPARING MYSEL

Ojay uh. DO SOME 4TH ING DR HENDRICK??? DO SOMRTHING RN LIKE ANYTHING DIOS YOU GOT GOLD DUST VILES RIGHT???? USE EHM

.

NO NO I AM NOT NO IM NOT GONNA MAKE THIS EVEN SADDER BY REMEMBERING NORTH WAS LIKE OLIVIAS FATHER NONONONONOO

No. OKAY THIA. UNO. I WAS KINDA RIGHT ON MY THEORY OF POLLY'S GOLD DUST KINDA KINDA FADING. DOS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. MY GOA NO NO NO THIS NO. I KNOW PEONY I KNOW ITS BAD BAD.

Oh? OH??? OH THEYRE GETTING MARRIED?? THEYRE GTETTING REAL REAL MARRIED OH MY GOSH????

Ay AY AY AY AY WAIT WHAT DIOS OH GOD WHAT. HE. HES WHAT. THE TRACKS THEY. HES IN THE. MY GOSGSB

Tydfil you and me YOU AND ME TYDFIL. YOU AND ME.

Ouguguh Tydfil my gosh :(( YOU CAN TRUST THOMAS BELIEVE ME DEAR

WOOOO THIS WAS. A VERY VERY EMPTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. NGL I GOT SURPRISED AT KING EDWARD FALLING INTO THAT BIT SO YEAH IM YEAH

Well WELL BRAVO TO REDWYVERNWRITES YET AGAIN FOR THIS FANTASTIC CHAPTER /POS

When the title said "Conflict and Revelations" IT REALLY DID MENA IT HHEHAHAHAHAHA

In all seriousness I nearly lost my words in the middle of reading it CAUSE MY BRAIN STRAIGHT UP STARTED TO LAG DUE TO THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS IN THIA AND HOLY WAS IT WORTH MY TIME IT REALLY WAS AMAIZNG /POS

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Nickelodeon era of shows, who is your favorite character from each of the late 2000s to 2010 Nicktoons shows (notably the longevity of Nicktoons around this time began getting less with only a handful from this point onward getting more than 2 seasons, Nickelodeon getting more reliant on SpongeBob around this time, and Nicktoons often getting moved to the Nicktoons channel for burning off episodes if didn't match SpongeBob's ratings instantly became a frequent occurrence at this point) you've seen like: El Tigre The Adventures of Manny Rivera, Tak and the Power of Juju, Back at the Barnyard, The Mighty B, The Penguins of Madagascar 2008, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Planet Sheen, and TUFF Puppy?

Now that i knew but nick being shitty to their cartoons was a constnat. Something they ALWAYS did this is just where, with nicktoons in place, they started being way faster about it. Had to put up less pretense.

El Tigre: The boy himself. He has an intresting dynamic of not being a villian or a hero (more anti hero), that really could use more exploration in a possible revivial or fanfiction (Wink wink), as the show generally lead to the good side and din't have manny do crimes too often. But he's still charming, funny and likeable kid with an intresting power set. As for the show it's pretty good, a bit broad for it's concept, but it works, with nice over the top comedy and gorgeous animation. Jorge Guteirez always brings it and I need to watch his other show and his film at some point.

Tak: Hal sparks kid only because he's hal sparks. I have an attachment ot the guy since I watched him on I love the 80s , which I also need to rewatch. Tak.. not so much. I hear the games are geninely solid 3d colllectithons and nick could do to rerelease them or have updated versions ala rehydrated, but the show takes a possible epic fantasy show with some goofy humor.. and turns it into "Kid with a lot of power fucks up a lot"

I've watched cartoons up to present day and while I fell off nick due to lack of cable and previously being awful at putting stuff on streaming (they've gotten better), so you have to wait some time and they can spread a season over years in some cases (*cough* loud house *Cough), I did watch for a long time.. and I was just.. not intrested in this at all. I'd seen it so many times. Just above el tigre does it better, as the villian or hero choice lets Manny get away with more shit than say Otto Rocket. And thus it dosen't work here: everyone's either vaugely filled otu or a dick, the mythology isn't really well built, and any hope of another action show is gone... I don't mind comedy in my action, the golden trinity of superhero shows i've covered here and the previous CN list should make that very clear... but I mind wasting another good fantasy show on this shit, especially at a time when the bar was sky high.

Back at the Barnyard: This one I remembered as being.. eh. Pretty weak first season I noped out of the show after.. but any time I caught a later episode... I saw a changea nd wish i'd gone back. Just from out of context vids i've found while season 1 had it's gems that are featured it fucking lost it as it went, including a full on war with weird al (Who did a LOT of voice acting back then and should keep doing it, he was great as milo murphy). So a show I didn't think much of but seemed to get a lot better once it stopped being a bland imitation of am ovie few people saw but is apparently good and started just embracing i'ts looney tunes esque madness.

The Mighty B: Don't really have one. This one was eh. I know some hate it, I thought it was okay and like many of these shows it got better but no one got to see that because nicktoons. It was nice to see amy pohler in a cartoon, hope she does it again, but overall like Tak , and a lot of the weaker shows from here on out, it comes out as a weak copy of stuff the network had done better: grossout, hero whose goofy but isn't like by most people but a select few.. there just isn't anything to what I saw of mighty b that makes me WANT to go back versus barnyard, which geninely improved and simply shed it's more standard trappings for something far more fun.

The Penguins of Madagascar: A spinoff.. honestly better than the movies. At least the ones i've seen and I really LIKED 2 when I saw it one time in a theater, so it's a compliment. (I hear 3 is really good). Like most film based spinoffs Nick has done, it takes a second to get going but was a lot of fun in highlight. I can see why kiean carlyle (Fan animator and youtuber whose covered both suite life shows (with the new video finishing the saga having just come out), wizards of waverly place, mighty med, labrats and mighty med and labrats) did a retrospective on it and need to watch that. The show isn't one of my all time favoirites, but it works really well and honestly WAY more than it should. A spinoff that just has "the characters the audeince took to" (the lemurs and the penguins) and no real ties shouldn't work.. but it does because the penguins are that strong and them doing various heists or other shenaigans work. Jullian and Maurice work as comic relief and having seen their show, work well enough on their own too. And Marlene and the Zookeepr were great additions. They let marlene be the voice of reason/love intrest without having her be boring. Granted getting Nicole Suilvan to play her helps, but the show was really good. Top notch stuff.

Fanboy and chum Chum: Their crazy totally amazing MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. Yeah this one has an annoying theme song and like about half the shows in this block is a poor xerox of stuff that worked better in other shows. yet... it's more mediocre than bad. This may be THE most hated nicktoon, with only our next contestant rivaling it from what I can tell.. but it's just.. okay. It's not good, it dosen't really have anything going for it and most of it's gimmicks are taken from other shows , but it's not so bad it's good or high tier awful either. it's just a lame copy of better stuff trying to be spongebob or ren and stimpy or even regular show without any of the pizzaz those had. It's what an AI would make if it made a nicktoon. It's not really wroth hating it's just... there.

Planet Sheen:

Now for the oppisite. Fuck this show, First off I found out later it was supposed to be it's own thing.. and woul'dve worked better that way, with a pizza dude getting shot up into space. That.. sounds more fun and most of the cast would've worked. Making it a jimmy neutron spinoff.. was a terrible idea. The show had more to tell so instead of just.. reviving that if they wanted more jimmy neutron with a revivial/spinoff, they instead shoved Sheen into a concept that dosen't really work WITH sheen. Granted part of it is, especiallya fter revieiwng the christmas special recently.. sheen is more layered than he tends to be remembered. Even I forgot his nice well of sarcasm. Sheen in Jimmy Neutron is fucking weird... but he's often the straight man in their comedy trio to a degree I forgot. Carl really is the weird as fuck one, Jimmy is a man of science and can be the straight man to his doofier best friends, but can also get caught in his ego. Sheen tends to be the one calling jimmy out when Cindy isn't present or calling cindy out when LIbby isn't early on. Here.. he has none of that. He's just an obnoxious idiot who cheats on his girlfriend, also wanted to make out with carl (which isn't innacurate but of all the tthings to pick up on form jimmy neutron, and didn't use carl because of executiv emeddling. This one is the worst nicktoon so far.. simply because Nick tried to cram too much generic bullshit into it. It COULD'VE worked. Idiot stumbles into glory isn't new, but it would've worked better with a protagaanist they didn't dumb down in a new property. I dont' know why Nick made a terrible spinofff to a show they clearly don't care about, and I wish they hadn't.

TUFF Puppy: Kitty and Dudley tie.. both because they purdy, and because they play off each other pretty well when the shows working at it's best. Overall this show is just.. fine though. Not a bad get smart reboot, doofus with some talent lead and cat suited sensible sidekick, but like , say it again A LOT OF THESE SHOWS, it feels like reheated leftovers. It's just not AS bad because there's some creativity. For as much as butch hartman sucks, and he does, he can make a decent cast. He was half assing it a bit more here, but I suspect it's also because he didn't have say steve marmel to help iron things out. But as a broad comedy it's fine. It's nothing amazing, but it's not AGRESSIVELY medidocre like the bulk of shows around this time. It's stuff w'eve seen before, idiot, woman as foil, weird techie, chief whose goofier than he lets on, but it's also not bad. Maybe it's the furry in me... probably ti's the furry in me, but it also just has a lot of fun stuff to it. I can't really hate it like I did planet sheen or eh it away like most of these shows. It did try a little. Not a lot and it shoudl've tried more as it could've been really great, a new darkwing duck.. but it wasn't half bad. again Grey and Jerry do a LOT of the lifting. THe voice cast for this one is fantastic. But i'll take "it's eh but it has really good perofrmances " over "let's make the generic ideal of what a kid wants" anyday. CN hit a rough patch too, we saw it, mostly trying to follow nick's footsteps.. but nick REALLY slid in quality as it went with only a few bright spots. And what good shows it did have it gave up on too fast. and it just won't stop doing it either.

[raging-ale]

;; PROMPT 004 !

an offering -- alejandro felt in that moment that he really didn't have much to offer to anyone, truly. having grown up on his own, tossed around from family to family and never having anyone stick to him due to whatever problems they seem to not have been able to how they will call it solve. alejandro knew that now things were different, he had a lot to lose now and so much to offer. turning to look at the statue of his father - remember the first moment he looked upon it and there was so much hate that wanted to unleash, so much blame - refusing to accept being the son of ares, only wanting to take the powers to be able to get to hopefully meet the man that he blames for all the suffering he's been through.

TW: blood, self harm, suicidal thoughts, & death mentions.

waiting for everyone to have left so he was left alone, he now he stands before the statue of his father, with a smile on his face, proud, honored to have the blood of ares coursing through him. there was still a lot to understand and learn but he knew that both his mother and his father were watching over him now. images of otus and ephialates flash before him, the memories of that day - having almost died, been almost taken to live a death of torment all because of his father reminded him of the single moment that his father shown up, helping him in a battle he felt he should have lost. it was his anger, his fear of being alone, of his now new family around him, those he cares about and will protect with everything he has. hearing his father's voice - his mother - both of them together - proud of him made him keep fighting.

"father?" he said softly as he stood before the statue. "i didn't get to thank you for helping me.. showing yourself when i feel like you didn't need to.. okay, no fuck that - you did need to, you owe me so fucking much and i .. " he paused, feeling his anger rising up, his hands balling into fist - nails once more cutting into skin as he began to bleed. not caring who was around him in that moment, he closed his eyes as he felt that fear coming up all over again. "i could have fucking died!" he yelled, echoing the temple around him as his eye flashed an angry red. "i know you are hearing me, i know you are proud of me like you said - but why is it so hard to be your son? why does it have to hurt? i am working on controlling it, but it's not as easy as some people are making it out to be." he paused, slowly bring out his bloody hands out before him. images of his past come flashing forward. the men he's needed to kill to stay alive, the amount of blood he has in his hands truly reflected so much. having yet never told anyone truly about his past - scared that he will lose them all and see them as a monster - he already feels like some might see him as such. rage coursing though him, bloodlust craving, a war in his heart always ready to burst.

there it was, tears flowing as he fell to his knees - feeling so defeated in that moment. all the hard work he's been putting through has felt like it's been fading away. the nightmares have been feeling more and more real, the anger bubbling up inside him, so much pain. those thoughts of ending it all were creeping back in, just to ease the pain for once and for all - but that promise he made to his mother is what truly kept him going. hands pointed out as the wounds began to heal fast, the son of ares let out a soft sob to himself. "i am fucking scared and i can't show it to them, i have to be strong for them and -- " alejandro closed his hands once more and punched the ground under him, letting out another yell as he sobbed.

sitting there in front of the statue of his father, minutes go by - lost in his thoughts, lost in the memories old and new, he began to feel himself being brought back to himself with the voices in his head, different voices this time. his friends, his new family - telling him to stand up, keep fighting - one by one he heard their voices, the demigods close to him, then the voice of his mother rang in his ear and filling this pain with a soft touch of love. "i wish i could have gotten to know her.. i wish i would have had a mother... a father... i hate that i was so alone... but ... i ... i have a family ... now.... and i'll fight for them!" standing up, tears staining his cheeks, he looked back up at the statue of his father. "thank you.. for this pain, for this anger - because without it i will be dead. without you... i will be dead by now."

slowly alejandro warped his hand around the necklace he always worse since he was a child. a necklace given to him having his initials on them. a thin gold chain with a spear head hanging in the middle. "this is all i have left of her.. this was all i was able to be given from her." his voice calm, gentle as he stepped up closer to the statue. "i -- " taking a deep breathe, alejandro reached back and took off the necklace from his neck. bringing it up to really get a good look at it once more before kneeling down once more. "as the son of ares, i promise to make you proud, fight in your name - let those that come to harm anyone that i care for, anyone that needs protection, i will fight for them. rip their heads off their shoulders, bring them fear for even thinking about trying to challenge me." taking the sharp end of the necklace, he digs into his palm, cutting himself deep and coating it with blood before placing it down as his offering.

"your blood runs through me and with the love of my mother - you two will always be the reason i live - i thank you for being... my father, even if i hate you sometimes." he couldn't help but laugh to himself as he started to stand up. "i really hope to meet you in person.. fight you, kick your ass -- just like i hope you want to meet me... " there was this fire inside him as spoke. there was still so much work to be done, so much control he needed to figure out - but he knew that he was going to be able to control all aspects of his life one day. "oh and one more thing." he flipping the statue off with a smile on his face. "fuck you, asshole." it was playful, not angry - just hoping that it would give his father a kick. turning to leave, he whispered to himself. "love you, papa... " never having said that ever in his life - it just felt right in that moment, feeling like he was truly there with him, comforting him, like a father would have done. "love you both..."

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

All right here we go! 

Spoilers below for chapter 71 of PN

Oo nice, marinette POV is always fun in this

Ough little baby… not feeling mixed enough sounds difficult :(

Oh jeeze poor thing, wow yeah she kinda just lost it all in one go

Damn Fei almost succeeded in what hawkmoth has been trying to do for 1 year in like 12 hours

I’m going to be homeless, miraculous-less, I’m going to have to perform on the streets for money and wander through the streets lost and hungry until I eventually die in a trash can.! Always love marinette catastrophizing 

Ok but if panthera was there then you two could panic about both losing things together!! It would be great fun. 

Christ you really capture marinette’s constant state of high alert amazingly its honestly really funny

French. My god. French. Someone could speak French.

Marinette had found her.. her Shanghai savior. NO GIRL SHE STOLE FROM YOU BUT THIS IS FUNNY AS FUCK

IT GOT FUNNIER HELP CALLING HER A CASH COW????GIRL PLEASE I’M LOSING IT ON A SUNDAY MORNING

Ha idiot, yes Fei you have morals accept it. I know in the Shanghai special they basically had Marinette's epic aura of kindness remind Fei of her dad’s ideals, but i’m curious what’ll happen here

Fei forgor that to scam people you have to be certain type of person. Which she is not. 

Nah you got me tricked for a second when you mentioned Rose saying something at the start of Juleka’s POV i was like “girl what we get a rose POV??” but alas

Make Juleka visit Scotland and then I can comment on inconsistencies and shit the internet lies about, it would give me great joy

Bird employee?? Mr Cheng is so cool

The gorilla uses sign language?? Why did i not know this. That’s cool af

Hey Marinette is says gullible on the ceiling look up. Girly really trusts the first person she could communicate with directly after being mugged

Marinette and her slight of hand tricks return again!

Fei being baffled by kindness repaying in its own way is so much fun

Nah not the way Juleka and Adrien are bonding with Mr Cheng before Marinette does it-

Bastille is fun, i enjoy this bird

Guard cat Juleka is so real

Everything. She looked at herself in the bike mirror. Her damaged face, her ruined hands that were meant for outreached protection and kind generosity– gnarled into the claws of a thieving demon. Fei closed her eyes, remembering the emptiness of what should’ve been around her wrist, and remembering the emptiness of where her father should’ve still been standing. This paragraph goes so hard, i love it. 

Nah Fei pleeek talk to someone girly your so sad rn

Marinette is so little and darling

Juleka didn’t trust the darkness. Not to someone alone. Not to someone that wasn’t her. Emo ass motherfucker (but also valid AF)

No because why am i still so suspicious about Adrien finding out. Like girl please. 

NO BECAUSE THE SUSPICION IS GETTING HIGHER GIRLY IS GOING TO SNEAK OTU

Mr Cheng panicking- oh dear, someone please give the guy a hug

Hey. how does Fei expect Marinette to pay her when she already stole all her money. 

GIRL STOP TELLING EVERYONE HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE TO YOU PLEEK

Wait no girl she needs the earrings. Girl please. Fei why. 

HUH WHAT PLAGG CAN JUST LEAVE??

This is so awesome and silly style and i love it

Alright, chapter 72 now, I’m rolling this into one review cause I’ve got the flow

NEVER MIND THE NEW CHAPTER IS 30K I WILL SPLIT THESE

chapter 71 was banging, loved it cap! now the monster that is chapter 72 shall be slain

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[mxstball]

@bluesthebest from ask

Whelp. Blue looked far more excited than she was expecting. Now, Blue was right next to her excited for the latest update.

"Yeah, sorry about waiting until now to tell you. This feature was extremely confidential until recently because of how it works." She did feel a little bad the whole time, but it was far worth it in the end. "Anyway! So, it's a new Pokédex feature that Professor Cherry of Hoenn and I made. You know how I've been traveling to different worlds and dimensions through Ultra Space? It turns out that there's an entire multiverse out there, filled with creatures that may or may not even be Pokémon!" Leaf sounded giddy.

"Here. Let me show you one." Leaf pressed a few buttons on her Pokédex, and, not only the style change, but the variations of the creatures did as well. Not only were there Pokémon that Blue was likely familiar with, but also entities and creatures that would seem completely foreign to him. Leaf touched one in particular.

Species: Rathalos, the Fire Wyvern Estimated Type: Fire / Dragon This male-only wyvern is known for its ferociousness and territorial claims. Some say that there are special Rathalos who can bring the destruction and ruin to the world with the beat of its wings.

"This picture of Rathalos is a special one that a friend of mine has. His name is Red, and he's such a cutie!" Leaf chuckled. "Oh! Anyway, this feature is called the Interstellar Dex! It's a Pokédex that not only logs the Pokémon of our world, but it also records Pokémon and creatures from other worlds. There are so many things out there that don't even really qualify as Pokémon that Cherry and I just HAD to find ways to learn about them. Heck, even in certain worlds, the Pokémon that we ARE familiar with can be EXTREMELY different from world to world. So, we made this to try to learn more about them! The best part? The Interstellar Dex doesn't even require you to catch them, either. Just interact with them, battle them, talk to them... the more you're around them, the more the Pokédex learns about them, like big Red here! Of course, catching will make the process faster and more instant, but not everything that you find otu there can be caught... that or you may not want to in order to respect the ecosystem there. So, this was a happy medium for us. Hehe! Isn't that awesome?!"

[legends-of-time]

Thorn Bush (Doctor Who Story)

Chapter 41: Captain Jack Harkness

Masterlist

A/N: My first full Torchwood episode! I've only done a few flashback scenes that they've shown of Jack's past but this is the first time Kathy's interacting with someone from Torchwood other than Jack. To try and save confusion, our Jack is simply referred to as Jack but the original one that Jack stole the identity from is Captain Jack.

——

20th January, 1941 AD/CE

Kathy is bouncing her knee up and down anxiously as she sits at the table in The Ritz dance hall, Cardiff, waiting for Tosh and Jack's arrival. She's pretty sure she's got the date right considering that the real Captain Jack Harkness is here, saying goodbye along with comrades before they head off to the mission which will kill the captain and her Jack (past him) will assume his name. Her current Jack is with Estelle Cole in London, the woman who's the old woman that appeared when Torchwood met the fairies and will then go on to be killed by them.

Around her, the dance hall is full. The windows are heavily curtained and the chandeliers are lit as it is night time. A four-piece band Buzzy Taylor's Band plays clarinet, piano, drums and double bass. The song is upbeat Air Express (Ken Mackintosh and his orchestra). There are seats and tables around the dance floor and people on a balcony up above. There is a banner hanging across the entrance that reads 'Kiss the Boys Goodbye' and a good few women obliging making the thirsty soldiers in uniform very happy.

"My love is true and just for you. I would do most anything at any time." The woman on stage sings.

Then there they are, future Jack with Tosh at the bar before George Bridgers (RAF, 24, boorish, thick-set, cheery with a regional accent) grabs Tosh and pulls her out onto the dance floor. Tosh looks incredibly uncomfortable and desperate to get away from him as he quickly twirls her around the dance floor, attracting startled looks from onlookers. They are dancing slightly messily on account of Tosh's inexperience and George's alcohol intake. 

"Come to me, my melancholy baby."

Jack goes and taps George on the shoulder. "Do you mind?" Kathy hears him say as she approaches them.

"I'm only borrowing her, mate." George retorts.

"'Her' is standing right there." Kathy snaps as she pops up beside them.

"Kathy!" Tosh exclaims in surprise while Jack flashes an excited grin.

George scoffs. "Listen lady—" 

"Hey, hey, the lady said no!" Jack interrupts.

"I didn't hear her."

"Maybe you need your ears unclogged then." Kathy quips back.

George steps forward aggressively causing Jack to quickly shove George back.

Jack turns back to Kathy and Tosh. "Come on, girls." 

Kathy spots George rushing over. "Jack—"

George yanks Jack back around and throws a punch. Jack turns away but the blow still glances his chin. This results in a scuffle causing another, rather familiar, American RAF Captain to put a hand on George's shoulder. Kathy keeps back, knowing she doesn't need to be involved here.

"Cut it out, kiddo." He says.  

George stops in his tracks, breathing hard. There is a hint of amusement in Captain Jack's eyes as he surveys the scene. He wears a Group Captain's uniform with a USA flash on his arm. He also wears a Distinguished Flying Cross medal.  

He turns to Jack. "Sorry about that. The men are a bit lively tonight. It's last day of OTU tomorrow. Apologise to the gentleman, George."

"I was only dancing." George retorts.

"I think it was your fist he didn't like, not your foxtrot." Captain Jack retorts.

George grimaces before turning to Kathy's Jack. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You barely got me." Jack replies causing Kathy to roll her eyes. Yeah, like that's going to help.

"I think the lady also deserves an apology." 

"I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Tosh answers.

"Let's get a drink, George." Captain Jack says before turning back to Jack. "Hey, are you a volunteer too?"

"Yeah."

Kathy watches closely as they shake hands and both begin to speak at the same time, "I'm Captain—"

"You go first." Jack offers.

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness. 133rd Squadron." Captain Jack introduces. Kathy watches how Tosh's face is flooded with shock while the smile freezes on Jack's face.

"Look this way, please." A voice speaks and it's Bilis, the ever-so-camp manager lifting his 1948 Polaroid Land camera. Captain Jack turns to the camera and smiles as Jack continues to stare at him in shock. Bilis takes a photograph of Jack, Kathy, Tosh and Captain Jack.  

Kathy grimaces at the sight of him, knowing what this man is up to.

"One more for the record, sir. I insist." Bilis removes the developing polaroid image from the back of the camera, then goes to stand between the two Captains whilst an employee takes the second one. Anachronism alert. "Thank you, gentlemen." Bilis leaves.

"I should be heading out." Jack tells the captain.

"But I didn't catch your names." Captain Jack argues.

Kathy steps forward, sharing a smile and a handshake with the captain. "I'm Katherine Davis and these are my friends, Toshiko Sato and Captain James Harper. 71st."

Captain Jack looks interested. "71st? That's where I'm hoping to be posted. What's your poison?"

"Maybe later." Jack declines. "My friends and I were in the middle of something." 

"Sure."

——

"Why does that man have your name?" Tosh immediately questions once they're out of the room and in an empty corridor. "I'm lost enough here without you holding back on me."

Due to Tosh's lack of questioning about how Kathy can be here as she seems to know her in the future, Kathy can only assume that, unlike Jack, Kathy had been (or will be) rather open about who and what she is. 

Jack hesitates causing Kathy to sigh and say, "Come on Jack, give her something here." 

"It's not my name. It's his. I took his." Jack admits. "But I didn't realise he was so hot." He laughs, then shuts his eyes as he takes in what's happening. He turns to Kathy all accusatory, "Why didn't you tell me?" 

Kathy smirks. "Spoilers." 

"You even suggested I take his name." Jack retorts.

"You do realise I only do that cause you told me I will?" Kathy counters.

"Jack. Kathy." Tosh hisses.

Jack sighs. "I know too much."

"Then share."

"You wouldn't want that. Trust me." Jack replies before he changes the subject with, "We have to get back. What's in here?" He gestures to her bag.

"I've got half the equation in here. The other half's back at the Hub." Tosh admits. "If I can find some way of getting these figures back to base, then they can combine them and open the Rift and bring us back through." 

"I know a place we can do it that will be empty." Kathy tells them, gesturing for them to follow her.

Kathy knows she needs to help them, particularly Tosh, in getting the coordinates back even if they may not fully succeed especially as Owen will activate the rift manipulator due to what happened with Diane. Ianto will try to stop him. Although his choice rescues Jack and Tosh, it will set off a chain of chaotic events leading directly into the story. 

——

As they move along the corridor, Tosh suddenly stops, looking back. 

"What?" Jack questions.

"I thought I heard my name." Tosh explains, her eyes flickering around the corridor as if trying to find the source. 

"That'll be Gwen. They're looking for you both now." Kathy tells them. No harm in giving them a little hope.

"They must've had a rift alert." Tosh says. "I set one up."

"Yeah, anyway, in here." Kathy lets them into Bilis Manger, the Manager's, office. There are distinctive objects in the office a grandfather clock, a drinks cabinet, an ornate lamp, and a selection of antiques all from different periods. There is a portrait of Bilis on the wall. There is also a name sign on the desk which reads BILIS MANGER. 

"No-one here. Good." Jack says.

Tosh puts her laptop on Bilis Manger's desk and opens the lid as Jack stands guard at the door. The laptop powers on. "It works."

"Your battery is running low." The machine tells them.

"Brilliant timing." Kathy remarks sarcastically.

"Just take down everything you've got in case it dies." Jack instructs as he fiddles with Bilis' nameplate on his desk.

"Here. I write while you read at the equation." Kathy offers, remembering Tosh's difficulty with the fountain pen.

Tosh hands it to her and they quickly get to work.

"Your battery is running low." The screen is fading whilst the warning message overlays the equation just as Kathy writes the last little bit. 

"Your battery." The laptop dies.

"You got everything you need?" Jack asks.

"I just want to get the exact coordinates of the dance hall, so I can integrate them into the waveform equation. Then we need to get the information back to the Hub." Tosh says.

"One step at a time." Kathy says. "First, I know who you can ask about that. He—"

"What are you doing in here? Who are you?" A voice suddenly asks causing them all to spin around to find Bilis standing there. Tosh slams shut the laptop.

"I'm Captain..." Jack pauses a beat, remembering, "...James Harper. And friends Katherine Davis and Toshiko Sato, mathematician." Jack introduces. 

"I'm Bilis, the manager. You're not in full uniform, Captain." Bilis remarks. God, he really is creepy.

"On leave. Forty eight hours."

"That's an interesting camera." Tosh observes. 

"It takes photographs instantly." Bilis explains.

"Funny, you would've thought that they don't do that yet." Kathy quips. 

"And I didn't know they made an attache case out of metal." Bilis retorts. Tosh hugs her laptop. "Where did you get it?"

"London. I'm from there." Tosh explains simply.

"I should go back, dear. They're coming for us now." Bilis warns.

——

"Pearl Harbour." Tosh reminds them as they make their way down the staircase, back to the crowd of people. Upbeat music plays next door in the main dance hall. 

"You're in January 1941, Pearl Harbour doesn't happen for another 11 months." Kathy tells her as they come to a stop on the stairs. She knows it's not that much of a reassurance.

"Granddad stayed in London but he was persecuted. If I stay stuck here, what will happen to me?" Tosh questions still panicked. Kathy doesn't blame her.

"We'll take care of you." Jack says.

"This period. You look like you fit in. Like Kathy does. Have you been here before?"

Jack realises that Tosh is truly scared and needs the truth. "Yeah. I can't explain but I served in the war in 1941. I was undercover. I needed a false identity, so I took his name." Jack explains.  

The first time anyway, before he became immortal, when he first met Rose and Nine. It's weird to think that, according to Jack, there's another her running around out there. 

Jack's second stay is happening with Kathy right now as he waits for the Doctor after becoming immortal. 

Captain Jack walks past them in the foyer bar area on the ground below unaware, chatting with those around him. 

"Who were you before you took his name?" Tosh asks. She receives no answer so changes her line of questioning. "Why him?"

"Kathy suggested it. Said it was convenient."

"Not yet I haven't." Kathy sing songs, drawing a smile out of Jack.

"But if you chose his identity to steal, then he—" Tosh realises, unable to finish the sentence.

"Dies, in battle." Jack finishes.

"When?"

"Tomorrow." Kathy answers. They look at Captain Jack in the bar below, laughing with his men. 

Kathy's eyes catch Tim another RAF who's merely 19 and would be described as a lanky upper-class youth. "Now, he's the one to talk to about the coordinates."

They quietly make their way downstairs just catching the end of George Bridgers' diverting tale, "And I say, look, love, it's raining bombs and fire, so get down that cellar. And she says, I can't, there's rats down there." The men laugh.

Tosh sidles up to them, planting herself next to Tim. "So, who's the best navigator here?"

"Tim." George answers. "He can't fly for toffee, but at least when he goes down, he'll know exactly where he is." George obnoxiously cackles causing Kathy to roll her eyes at him.

"Why don't we chat over here?" Tosh quickly pulls him away. Tim doesn't put up much of a fight, not that Kathy blames him, as George whistles after them as Tosh and Tim head for the corner table and Tim pulls out a chair for Tosh. 

"I give the public schoolboy a fortnight." George remarks.

"That boy's come a long way in five weeks." Captain Jack intercedes. "As long as you boys remember your training, you'll be all right." He turns to Jack and Kathy (though Kathy believes it's most definitely the former). "Glad you came. Shall we sit down?" 

Kathy glances towards Tosh. Seeing she's alright, Kathy shrugs and joins the group for a drink. 

——

There's only so much Kathy can take of those such as George and is thankful when Tosh gestures to her and Jack to come over.

"I've got what I need." Tosh tells them. "Now all I have to do is find a way to leave a message for the team on something that will last across time."

"Okay." Jack answers and they begin to move away but then Audrey of all people blocks their way all flirty and nosey. 

"I haven't seen you two here before." She remarks accusingly. "Katherine, are they friends of yours?"

"They are." Kathy answers. "Welcome friends."

"She's after Tim." George unhelpfully adds, sauntering over and drawing more attention to the conversation. "Why else would she let him bore her to death about navigation? 

"Maybe she's a spy." Audrey accuses.

"The Chinese are on our side, aren't they?" Another pilot, Smiler (Kathy recalls him standing at the bar, fluffing his beer and watching the pretty women) says. Kathy really not liking how she and Tosh are almost being circled right now.

"I'm Japanese." Tosh corrects.

Audrey scoffs. "You're hardly an ally, then."

"Leave it, Audrey." George interrupts with the most helpful thing he's said all night.

Audrey ignores him. "So, whose side are you on? What's in the bag?" 

"If you must now, sknows decoder for the British." Kathy interrupts, remembering Jack's defence. She doesn't want to let this interrogation go on any longer than it has to. "Her work is too secret so I doubt she appreciates you questioning her."

"Without ladies like her, we'd have no way of defending the country." Captain Jack says, handing Kathy and Jack their drinks he has offered to get earlier. "To Toshiko."

"Toshiko." They all cheer.

"I need Bilis's camera." Tosh says, pulling Kathy and Jack to the side. "Photographs last, don't they? Kathy?"

Technically it's only part of the equation that'll be taken but it's better than nothing and they will still get the rest of the equation to the others, even if Bilis scratches out the last few numbers, as nothing will stop Owen with Bilis' timepiece, so Kathy nods.

"I'll go with you." She offers. "Jack, you can stay here."

"Sure you don't want me to come with you?" Jack asks.

Captain Jack hears this. "Oh, you can't run out on me. I've just got you a drink." He says to Jack.

"We're fine. You carry on." Tosh encourages. 

Jack glances wordlessly at Kathy. She can see the question in his eyes. She nods. He must stay with him.

——

As Tosh uses Bilis' camera to take a photograph of the piece of paper that now has the latest figures worked out in pencil, Kathy's eyes flicker around the room and that's when she notices the grandfather clock and Bilis' portrait is now missing. She fidgets nervously at that, staring at the blank space.

She's so focused on it that she startles as Tosh does when Bilis says, "Starting to be a habit."

They turn just as the photograph comes out of the camera to which Tosh quickly yanks out. Bilis smiles, taking the camera from her hand.

"We just wanted to try it out." Tosh says.

His eyes take them in. He smiles creepily. "This little beauty is very unusual and rare, not unlike yourselves." 

And now this is their chance to just get the hell out of here. 

Kathy lets out a fake chuckle. "I didn't know you were such a flirt Bilis. I apologise for our trespassing." She grabs the piece of paper with the equation with one hand and wraps her other hand around Tosh's shoulder, urging her to move forward. "We should join the others. Captain Harper is waiting for us." 

They reach the door quickly once Tosh gets her surprised feet moving.

"Of course, but I can think of better things to photograph than numbers, my dear." Bilis calls after them.

This unsettles Tosh, causing her steps to stutter but Kathy swiftly moves her on.

"Do call again!" 

——

Kathy helps Tosh place the photograph inside the plastic which held the unwritten birthday card for Tosh's grandad. 

Before she places it inside an old disused electricity junction box, Tosh freezes.

"Oh no, Kathy."

Tosh shows her the photograph. Showing that the full equation isn't on there, it's been cut off in the corner. Kathy winces. She knows she should've either taken the photograph or kept an eye out for Bilis and Tosh may have taken a better photograph but Kathy can't risk changing too much, not when dealing with such an anomaly that is Bilis Manger. Making sure everything plays out as it does in the episode, Bilis will be defeated and won't be lying in wait for another go.

"We can get the rest to them, Tosh. They'll see this and keep searching." Kathy reassures her. "But right now I think there's going to be—"

The air raid sirens start and bombs start falling. Kathy grabs Tosh and yanks her towards the entrance where the lights have been turned off. They dive into the dance hall as a bomb lands outside and blows through one of the curtained windows causing screams from the people inside.  

Bilis directs them to the basement air raid shelter. Captain Jack stands in the middle of the room, trying to help. Their Jack stands on the staircase going up to the upper floor yelling, "Katherine!" and "Toshiko!" up them.

"We're here!" Kathy yells as they are jostled along by the panicking crowd, making sure not to call him Jack in front of the actual Jack.

Jack saga with relief, hurrying over to them, putting his arms around them, and guiding them towards where everyone else is heading. As Tosh tells Jack about how they weren't wholly successful in their mission, Kathy glances back at Captain Jack who watches them go.

——

The basement is blacked out but some oil lamps have been lit, Kathy grabs one. Couples hug. As they pass them, Kathy sees Smiler pull the "You could be the last girl I ever kiss" with Audrey before the two kiss. Kathy tries to not roll her eyes at that. The key word being tries.

"I've got to finish the message. Pencil will fade. I need something else." Tosh tells them. "Kathy?"

"Blood will be the safest bet. They'll be tins and that over here that'll protect it." Kathy pulls Tosh to the corner of the room. All around them are pools of light, unsteady breathing, some tears, some laughter.

Kathy finds the storage cupboard in the corner and opens it. There are tins of coffee and tea inside. She empties a coffee tin and hands it to Tosh.

Tosh grins. "Airtight. This'll do."

And she gets out her grandfather's unwritten birthday card from her bag. Then she cuts her finger on the rough edge of the tin until it bleeds. Tosh kneels down, dips the pencil in her own blood and starts to write the remaining part of the equation on the card by the light of the oil lamp. 

The band player has brought down his clarinet and is playing 'The White Cliffs of Dover'. A woman sings along, her beautiful voice echoing in the near darkness. Some people hum along softly to the song while Tosh continues to write in blood on the card. Captain Jack stands very close to their Jack as they talk quietly to one another as Tosh seals her note in the coffee canister and hides it in the corner. 

The all-clear sounds which is rather a good thing as Smiler has his hand inside Audrey's blouse.

"Let the dancing continue!" Bilis cries joyfully causing everyone to cheer.

"I've finished. The rest of the equation is hidden in there." Tosh tells Jack as they emerge from the corner. Her left hand is still bleeding which Tim notices.

"What happened?" He asks, concerned.

"I slipped." Tosh lies.

"I've got a first-aid kit in the van." Tim gently leads her out.  

Kathy shares a look with Jack as Captain Jack lingers nearby. She flashes him s small smile before leaving the two alone.

——

Kathy sits with Jack and Tosh at a table at the edge of the largely empty dance floor knowing this is it. The rift will open at any moment and Jack and Tosh will leave. Kathy's sad that they'll have to go, she enjoyed her time with the two but she knows she'll see her current Jack soon and she'll soon see Tosh again in less than a century. 

The band strikes up 'A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square'. "That certain night, the night we met, There was magic abroad in the air." 

The band plays and the woman sings. Slowly, Captain Jack walks across the dance floor and passes the few couples who are dancing together until he reaches their table. 

"There were angels dancing at the Ritz, And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square... I may be right, I may be wrong." 

Jack looks at him in amazement as Captain Jack takes his hand and leads him onto the dance floor.  

"But I'm perfectly willing to swear." 

The men are shocked as the two dance in each other's arms. The dance floor clears and people stop, mesmerised and transfixed by the beauty of these two men dancing slowly together, cheek to cheek, their eyes shut... Oblivious to anything but each other.

"Who is he? Really?" Tosh asks softly, entranced. "You know him more than any of us."

"Jack's so many things and I don't know all of it yet," Kathy replies. She knows there's time before he became immortal and turned up in 1869 when he knew her as well as this Jack's present in the early 21st century. She knows her current Jack, the one who's waiting to confront Ten for leaving him behind on Satellite Five. 

Jack pulls back and they look each other in the eye, searing intensity. Just as the two captains are about to kiss the dance hall door bangs open and a bright white light appears. Kathy and Tosh run over to him, the letter yelling his name and telling them they need to leave. Kathy ignores the people around them and instead focuses on Jack. She can see he doesn't want to go. He wants to be with the Captain. 

She grabs his arm to pull his attention to her. "You need to go, they need you." She knows not to make any promises that she'll look after Captain Jack, that they'll be alright because it wouldn't be the truth.

Kathy can practically hear Jack's heart-wrenching as he looks at Captain Jack. "I have to go... It's my duty."

Captain Jack nods. Jack begins to walk away from him while briefly brushing his hand against Kathy in the form of a goodbye though he doesn't look at her, he doesn't look at anyone except the bright light that Tosh anxiously waits by. He's halfway there when he stops then turns and strides towards Captain Jack, pulling him into a passionate kiss. They lose themselves in each other. They pull back and look at each other.  

Tosh yells for Jack again. He pulls himself away and walks back over to Tosh. He stands there, looking back at the Captain who salutes him before both Jack and Tosh vanish before them.

Kathy ignores all the stares and the mutters of shock and instead puts her hand on Captain Jack's arm and smiles sympathetically before pulling him out of the room, away from everyone's gaze.

——

"Do you think Kathy's alright?" Tosh asks Jack as the both of them sit in his office after returning from 1941 to their present day. She swirls the glass of brandy that she holds in her hand after toasting to the lost Captain. 

Jack's sigh is full of emotion before turning to Tosh and flashing his usual charismatic smile that Tosh, after travelling to the past and learning more about him, sees right through. "Of course she is, you know she's out there right now. It's just been longer for her, she took the long way round."

——

Kathy chews her lips anxiously, gripping the telephone tightly as she waits for the person on the other side to pick up. 

"Mom?" Carlyle's voice crackles through the receiver. 

Kathy smiles softly as she replies, "Hi Carlyle, I just thought I'd check in, see how you're both doing." 

Carlyle clears his throat, speaking in a cheery voice, "Everything's alright, we're fine, you don't need to worry." 

Something in his voice makes her feel uncomfortable though can't quite tell what it is.

"I know, I know," Kathy huffs, laughing slightly though it feels forced, "it's just the two of you are always so busy these days, I hardly get to see you both."

"I'm sorry. You know how it is. So many things to see and do." Carlyle replies, continuing to be evasive.

"Of course, it's just..." she hesitates for a moment, "you will tell me if anything's going on, right?"

"Yeah. I would. Of course I would, mom." He assures her.

"Ok." Kathy replies despite feeling the opposite.

——

Carlyle puts down the receiver and lets out a heavy sigh. "I think we should tell her." He says. He stands in his and Ashildr's home, which is a 1500s-style building that's been repaired and renovated many times over with a mishmash of alien tech. 

They've been here since the station was built in 1848. They found the alien foxhole and knew they needed to help it, better it. It's been their unofficial home since then. Their house is like the whole street, the place is run-down and grungy but still highly functional: spaceship parts piggyback off tree-house extensions and alien inventions. The street is hidden out of the view of the public due to the Lurkworms creating the telepathic field needed. Existing at the heart of central London. On the street, his wife works as a mayor for their existing refugee camp. They only get pulled away from it to keep up the pretence with Kathy that nothing's going on.

Ashildr scoffs from where she lounges next to the fire. The alien tech they have would mean that the house could easily be heated without needing a fireplace but Carlyle likes the rusticness of it. "Why? She probably knows anyway."

"More the reason to tell her." Carlyle argues.

"Would she approve?" Ashildr retorts, voicing the concern that's always in the back of his mind.

"Why wouldn't she?" Carlyle counters, fighting his doubts. "We're giving a safe haven, a sanctuary for over twenty alien species. Mom would be proud of that."

Ashildr lets out another huff, standing to face him. "Kathy wouldn't be any help to us. How could she be? She's too focused on the characters from that TV show. Always running after with stars in her eyes and that tunnel vision is blinding her from what matters. Things such as our refugee camp."

"She's my mother. It's been nearly a century since we started. I can't continue keeping this from her. She's already getting suspicious." Carlyle persists, feeling tearful.

"Who cares?"

"But–"

"What do you think they'd say if they knew our punishments?" She strokes the striking tattoo that whorls of black ink around her neck and collarbone, representing her alliance with the Quantum Shade. "You know what she's like, her and the Doctor, always that moral high ground yet what do they actually do? Nothing. They judge others. That's not us. We help others like us."

There's a knock on the door and a voice calling, "Mayor Me."

"Yes?"

Rump enters. "We have a group of Sontarans claiming asylum."

"Thank you, we'll be there shortly." He leaves and Ashildr turns to Carlyle, gently stroking both of his upper arms. "I know you think Kathy would be sympathetic but, other than Strax, when has she ever been kind to a Sontaran?"

"You're right." Carlyle admits.

"Of course I'm right. I'm your wife, I'm always right." She grins before pecking him on the cheek. She pulls back. "Remember. This is your anchor, your purpose."

He sighs and nods. She smiles, pleased. She smooths down her hair, straightening her clothes and wrapping the scarf around her neck, readying herself to meet either friend or foe.

He watches after her with pride. All that she's been through and lost, she still stands there as strong as ever and ready to face the world.

Yet, he can't help but feel that this is going to end badly.

——

A/N: It's difficult for Kathy to change the main thread of this story which leads to the finale as she can only change so much but I didn't want her to be just sitting on her hands or make it seem like it so I had her assisting Tosh as Jack is busy with the original Captain Jack.

The scene at the end with Carlyle and Ashildr 👀 Anyone who's familiar with season 9 might know what's going on there.

Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

[relicruined]

v doesn't try and hide the way his brows chased his hairline when the other mentioned maxtac, but he kept himself quite to allow the other to continue speaking - waiting to allow him to finish before he would speak. v wasn't a fan of most media himself, but he kept that to himself as well -- this man lost a friend, and v knew how that felt. so, he held continued to hold his tongue - crossing one leg over another, elbow resting on his knee, as he let his gaze flicker down to the hologram that the small shard produced; studying it with a steady gaze as the fixer continued. "i'm sure i can get in and out no problem," he started once the other finally finished, leaning back against the chair that he sat in, "but - maxtac are the big kids on the playground," he reminds him. "most mercs don't fuck with 'em 'less they got some kinda death wish." v wasn't most mercs - not these days, anyway. names on his wrap sheet like adam smasher was a lot of weight to throw around. "assuming this got big kid on the playground eddies at the end? or 'least some shiny prize for troubles?" hazard pay. he didn't feel it was unreasonable - any other merc hector might've fished otu of the pond would either run from the job, or see the amount of eddies upfront and jump at it - only to not come back. v might've been good at what he did, but he wasn't indestructible; the relic taught him that. and some of it was pure dumb luck.

For a few moments, the room seemed devoid of life.

V had been invited here, clearly, by the giant of a fixer and it isn't until V is situated in an open chair that Hector walks in, idly fiddling with a shard in his hands and his bengal cat, Rook, flopping down onto the nearest seat to catch some rays of sunshine by the window. His movements, harried and anxious, are noticable. There's something clearly eating at him and it's only when V speks that his eyes snap to the other.

Hector words, however, are quite sudden. "How interested would you be in sneaking into a temporary Maxtac base set up in Corpo Plaza? Near the police station?" More information was bound to be needed, so the man slots the chip into the table between them, bringing up a nice little hologram of the location itself.

"Some of my guys were able to get this chip off a corpse. A corpse of a client, to be exact. A friend. She was media, probably one of the last honest ones in Night City." It feels weird to be talking about something that wasn't his sister, but the woman had gone silent, no reports of a rampaging psycho...which means she clearly had some semblance of sanity left in her. Not fully gone.

"She was compiling a series of deets revolving around a budding gang trying to make a name for itself out in Watson. There's already reports them them shoving Maelstrom out of well-known hideouts, All Foods included. Apparently goes by The Riders." He pauses, letting the info catch up with the merc. Rook yawns and stretches, belly up. "When my guys found her body, it was a clean shot to the head, no other wounds. it isn't the gang's stype, but this encrypted shard was found and Maxtac written all over her reports. I want you to pop by and give it a looksee."

[megatraven]

i was WRONG i thoguht it implied in mac’s route that eveyone other than her is bi but diego.... diego is the token straight in the group i cant beleive it

[thewonderingsorceress]

Where I’ve been

Just an explanation but I should be back on this weekend

So I didn’t want to talk about it at first because it was too much and I was too stressed to even think. 

I thought I’d give you the highlights though about why i’m on an doff. 

- At my job i am threatened every day to be fired over not capitalizing a letter, for something being slightly off center etc etc like it’s that ridiculous. BUt this person is also expecting me to work overtime without pay so I am workgn all day every day even on weekends. 

- EVerything has gone up and i have no raise so I am literally living pay check to pay check. 

- My dad also owns my car and there are pipes tha tare cracked that he wont let me get fixed until they completely break or else he’ll get the car towed and just take it and he’s done this before and becuase he also owns it he can. I am terrified to drive because i have to avoid pot holes and i live in a city and even the high ways have pot holes  and he has a tacker on my car

- My cat has so many health issues right now and we were doing fine but then all the sudden he wasn’t fine again and we’re back on all these expensive meds. He already has a lower life span because fo this issue but now i’m just waiting for him to die at this point 

- My birthdya was very recent and i hate it in general because my parents made it about them and always made it a horrible day but even from afar they managed it this year

- I now no longer have garaunteed parking at my lot despite paying almost 200 a month because they changed management of the lot

- my apartment refuses to change otu my refrigerator though this is the 3rd time the freeezer has popped open with nothing much in it and ive lost hundreds in food 

- I had food poisoning which i still feel icky about on top of everything

[plush-rabbit]

Mistletoe

A/N: I kinda just went with it so I hope you still like it even if its not exactly what you envisioned(*ノ_<*)

Amajiki Tamaki:

Tamaki doesn’t actively avoid mistletoes. He’s not trying to get under one but he isn’t avoiding them at all costs. He’s been under a few with others but he was either given a quick hug or a peck on his cheek by his closer friends. He would prefer to just not be under one in order to avoid awkward moments.

He stands alongside you. You’re both at a party hosted by a mutual friend and mistletoes are strewn above the ceiling. You mention grabbing a drink and he follows you, preferring to stay by your side rather than be alone but as you two make your way to the drink section someone yells out the word mistletoe and by instinct he looks up and you two are indeed under one.

He likes you- of course, he does. You make him feel at ease and he always feels good when he’s around you. Even when you hype him up, it’s probably one of the few times where he doesn’t feel like he’s being taunted. He doesn’t want the first kiss to be in front of others. That is- if you do like him or even want to kiss him. He won’t force it and now his thoughts are rambling and he’s growing hotter by the second.He feels you tap against him, your hand gently patting his arm and when you point up you have this grin and he wants to turn around and press himself against a wall and hide. You exclaim that you don’t have to kiss- a simple hug would be enough but he stammers under his breath that kissing you wouldn’t be awful and he’s regretting a lot of his life choices. 

He freezes, shoulders raising close to his earlobes as he waits for your reply, tilting his head and rubbing a hand across his neck as his lips pull into a thin line. It’s a short interaction- one that lasts for less than a minute but with people watching, a few hollering words of encouragement, it’s like time is moving uncomfortably slow. He wants this to get over with- even a hug would be fun and he can feel a choking sensation at the thought of getting rejected but then you lean into him and peck at his lips- it’s feather light, like even you were unsure of your choice- a few people cheer and he stays in silence watching as you breathe a nervous laughter, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him away.

Tamaki is incredibly jittery the moments afterwards. Your touch is electrifying, sending the hair on his arms on end and he covers the lower half of his face with his free hand, the smile on his lips peeking between the gaps of his fingers, and when your hold on him tightens, he micis it, giving your hand a squeeze. The rest of the night is spent next to you, trying not to act too eager at every opportunity to move places.

Monoma Neito:

As loud as Neito is, he’s also handsome. He’s been under mistletoes. He doesn’t seek them out, they just happen to be there when he walks under someone. It’s usually a quick peck. Lowering his head and brushing any stray hairs away from the person’s face as his lips press against their temples. Oftentimes, if the person isn’t comfortable with that it’s a hug or a high-five. 

You two just happen to be walking around a building. You’re nudging him with your elbow and hurrying along before he can do the same to you and it’s a light atmosphere between the two of you. He jokes and ruffles your hair, avoiding the quick swat of your hand and neither of you are paying attention until you happen to stop in your step. He stops next to you and follows your finger when you point upwards. A mistletoe.

There’s no one around. It’s just you and him and he certainly won’t snitch if you want to avoid the kiss- heck, he’ll even offer a hug. But he’ll be lying if he says he doesn’t want to kiss you. He hopes you’ll choose the option to kiss- even if it’s just a quick peck. He swallows nervously and lets out a shuddering breath. 

He likes you. He’s been vocal about it without having to say the words and while he knows that you know, he doesn’t want to force anything. He clears his throat and shakes his head. He tells you that he’ll keep his lips sealed- complete with the zippering motion and tossing it over his shoulder. He snorts when you “unzip” his lips, there’s a dark blush coating his cheeks and then your lips are against his and he makes a chuckle worthy squeak and he can feel your smile against the kiss.

Neito is going to hold the kiss over your head. He’s ecstatic to learn that you also like him. An arm is thrown over your shoulder as he continues the conversation that was interrupted by his voice is tight, the red hue never leaving his face and when you nudge his side, he squeaks. He’s not over the kiss, living on the high that it gave him. He’ll laugh nervously, scratch at his head and ask you out on a proper date.

Shinso Hitoshi:

Hitoshi doesn’t care for mistletoes all that much. He’s been under them but given what his quirk was and how people in his youth would twist it, he had never done the ‘tradition”. He doesn’t mind- he found it rather odd anyways so when he attends a party where there are mistletoes all around, he’s not triggered by it but he is apprehensive. The last thing he wants is to relive those old memories.

The party is filled with people. He stood alone- often accompanied by a passing friend who waved bye once a song started to play. And then you come up. You bring him a plate of snacks and stand next to him. Once the party gets too loud to actually hear what words are being said, you two wander off. You’re both in a somewhat secluded area where you can still hear the music vibrate across the floor and then he catches a glint of something and peers up. You call his name as you follow his gaze.

You stand under a mistletoe and he’s surprised that there’s one this far away from where the actual party is but he supposes it would make sense to plaster them wherever people could reach. He has control over his quirk but he’s still nervous to talk. Of course he wants to kiss you but he doesn’t know if you want to kiss him. He doesn’t want to force anything on you and when you call his name he sighs and says that you both don’t have to- he won’t hold it against you. He misses the way you frown and pinches your cheek eliciting a yelp from you where you tap against his chest. And when he pulls away, you grab his face in your hands and kiss him.

The kiss is soft, it’s pressed against his lips and lasts for a second too long and when you pull away, his lips are still puckered, eyes half lidded with  deep hue creeping up his neck and then you grin at him, it’s wide and kittenish and he’s shaking his head in embarrassment. You don’t stop looking at him and it’s making him increasingly nervous and then you wrap your arm around his and make him sit with you in a secluded area for the remainder of the party.

The kiss stays on his mind forever. Or at least until the next day. Hitoshi thinks about it all night. It wasn’t his first kiss but it means something more now that you did it- that you took initiative and kissed him. It keeps him on edge and he’ll be a bit flustered around you, rubbing at the back of his neck and tripping over his words. 

Shishikura Seiji:

Seiji has been pulled under mistletoes before but he has no real emotion towards it- it wasn’t unpleasant, it was just an experience. It’s an odd tradition that he gives only a side glance to and leaves it as that. He sees no real meaning for it other than for people to land under one in hopes that their crush or significant other would land under one as well. And then he finds himself under one with you.

The cafe you two are visiting is themed for the holidays. Above each table hangs mistletoe and he gives it a simple raise of his brows and sits down, commenting on the plant that hangs overhead. When you ask if he would like to kiss, he shoots you a pointed look that holds no real negative emotion and stammers otu how it’s a public place. You laugh and wave a hand at him- you tell him you both can sit and leave once the drinks are done. Begrudgingly, he agrees.

He wants to kiss you but the thought of asking or doing it because of a holiday plant makes him click his tongue. There’s a part of him that regrets not taking up the offer on kissing you. It’s small but it screams louder as you both exit the cafe- the opportunity now lost. As you two walk, he mentions nothing of the cafe and the mistletoe nor does he protest when you take his hand and begin leading him somewhere. You pull him aside in an empty corner and he’s confused, an arm behind his back simply out of habit and as he’s about to open his mouth, you explain with a simple kiss. 

He grows increasingly flustered the longer the kiss lasts- even if it just lasts for a few seconds. At his expression, you start to apologize, mentioning how you must have read the signals wrong until he starts to ramble, and it’s a mess until you’re left laughing in his chest and he’s clearing his throat as he wraps his arms around you. You ask for another and he gives a quick glance watching for any onlookers until his face is cupped in your hands and you press your lips against him. He reacts immediately, a small choking noise in the back of his throat as his hands come to your waist. 

He thinks about the kiss constantly. It was sweet and you initiated it and it leaves Seiji breathless. He’ll find himself staring at your lips more often and having to physically make himself meet your eyes. He’ll bring you a cup of coffee and hand it to you in your hands and with arms behind his back and eyes that meet yours, he asks you out.

Yoarashi Inasa:

Inasa oddly isn’t a fan of mistletoes. He thinks it’s cute- a nice way to get affection from someone you love and he’s certainly gotten affection from one but he’s all right with them. He doesn’t seek them out and he doesn’t avoid them. He’ll most likely laugh it off with a wave of his hand and either hug or peck at the person.

You two are out and about. Walking aimlessly as you hold onto his arm- for safety measures of course, there’s a large crowd in the streets- and you enter upon a holiday themed area. It’s cute and you two have time to spare. He makes sure to keep you close to him and profusely apologizes when you bump into his chest. There’s a small woodsy-type area and before he knows it, you two are under a mistletoe. He takes a sharp intake of ait and looks down at you, mouth pulled into a thin line and he’s uncomfortable.

He wants to kiss you but he doesn’t want it to be like this. He doesn’t want it to be because of some little plant. He clears his throat and being under the mistletoe makes him feel like he’s under a spotlight so he’ll grab your hand and try to explain his feelings without hurting your own. He really does like you and his voice is starting to rise, a panicked look on his face and then you peck his nose.

He stops. He’ll freeze and a dark hue will tint his cheeks and he’s clearing his throat and there’s a smile that stretches across his face and he nods silently. Holding his hand out to you and he’ll kiss at your knuckles and swing your arms as you walk to a more secluded area. He’ll bend down, ask for your permission and once granted, he’ll peck at your lips, soft, feeling nothing more than a simple brush of his lips against yours and when he pulls away, he pulls you into a hug.

Inasa will most likely take you back to the spot afterwards and properly peck at your lips. Something short and sweet and he’s left jittery, exclaiming loudly about how happy he is that he got to kiss you and buying you something warm to drink. After the good experience, he’s going to point out any mistletoes that he happens to see and ask for another kiss.

[beomglocks]

test me ; c.yj

pairing: teacher!yeonjun x (of age) student!y/n (fem)

plot: no plot im pretty sure its just smut, part 2 of teacher’s pet

w/c: 1.7K

warnings & other: smut, jealousy, teacher!yeonjun, of age student!y/n, implied cheating, yeonjun possessive, does this count as public sex?, kinda public sex?, revising this at 4am so if there’s still mistakes iM SORRY

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after what happened the other day with beomgyu and yeonjun you thought you had won. getting yeonjun jealous was one of your many hobbies. although he'd encourage you to find a new or better one. what you didn't know was that yeonjun was not gonna let himself get played that easily.

see, yeonjun is possessive. if he's fooling around with you, you're his now. messing around with him the way you did, did not slide with him. he had thought about what you did all weekend long. even though it was something minor like flirting with another teacher, he couldn't wait for monday to arrive. he felt bad not giving attention to his actual girlfriend but messing around with you was much more exciting.

he was glad you were already legal or else he'd be in real trouble. even though having sexual encounters with one of his own students would cost his job at least he wouldn't be sent to jail. the thought of getting caught was exhilarating. he could only imagine fucking into you on his desk roughly when all of a sudden someone walks in.

he liked the idea of humiliating you like that but realized that he was the only that was allowed to see you in that much of a vulnerable state.

with that, monday arrived. you had forgotten about the way you riled up yeonjun a few days back. you figured he wouldn't be too mad about it so you decided to erase it from your mind. clearly you were wrong.

you weren't dressed too crazy today either, just a cozy sweater and some jeans. the hallways were busy as always but this time there seemed to be a common topic of murmur.

"did you see mr. choi today?" "oh my god he looks so hot." "i can't believe the teachers are allowed to come to school like that as if they aren't already good looking enough." "i want him to fuck me so badly."

you tried to keep your face and mind neutral as you walked through the halls. it's not a secret that the teachers at your school were good looking and were a casual topic among the students but why the hell was yeonjun suddenly trending?

you bit the inside of your cheek thinking about how suddenly everyone had his name in their mouths. you shook your head to get rid of these jealous thoughts bubbling in your brain and started trying to get to class.

you were barely past the threshold of the door when you hear yeonjun's stern voice, "you're late." you have to physically stop yourself from gaping at his appearance. his pink hair was pushed back to showcase the glory of his forehead but the killing part in your opinion was the leather pants.

you're not really sure how he was allowed to dress up to school like that but you thanking the heavens that no one told him off about it. your eyes not so subtly wandered to his crotch area and you almost got on your knees right then and there. the leather clung to him for dear life and showcased his toned thighs and not to mention his dick. god, his dick was literally on full display. the cocky bastard probably wanted the whole world to know he had the biggest cock ever. if he was gonna dress up like that might as well wear nothing at all.

you shiver, thinking about the ways in which he would take you right on the desk beside him-

"y/n," yeonjun's voice rips you out of your thoughts. "if you could take your seat?" you blink at him dumbly but regain yourself, two can play at this game.

"yes sir," you purr. he watches you closely as you stride to your seat. yeonjun liked to act like a closed book but you knew him, he was trying to get back at you. you weren't exactly sure if you'd be able to handle it but you're willing to show him you can try.

he starts the lesson like normal but the whispers beside you are more interesting. "i think i can see his dick print," whispers someone near you. you look to the front of the class and grin.

it's was really a good thing the leather pants were tight, it truly didn't leave any room for the imagination. you licked your lips, lost in your own thoughts when yeonjun calls you for the second time today. he was really starting to get on your nerves since he never ever calls on you. "y/n when your done daydreaming can you answer this question?"

you feel heat rise up your neck and cheeks. why the fuck did he call you out like that? surely you weren't the only one not focused on the lesson. you bite back a snarky remark that would've helped your pride and instead just answer his question.

after that, he thankfully leaves you alone for the rest of the hour. you're sure he knows you're not actually paying attention to what he's saying. screw english, at this point you want yeonjun to teach you a different kind of language.

the bell rings and strangely the girls in class take their time getting out of the room. you watch them eye yeonjun up and down and give him flirty goodbyes before finally leaving. the thing that irks you is that yeonjun is entertaining them. you scoff as he winks to a group of girls and tells them to have a nice day.

you look around and notice you're the last person in class so you decide to get up and leave. yeonjun catches you before you can get out. "where do you think you're going?" he remarks. you roll your eyes and remove his hand from your arm. "i'm leaving?"

"after that little stunt you pulled friday? i dont think so," he growls backing you up onto the door, shutting it closed. "oh? wouldn't you rather go at it with one of those other girls?" you look at him bored and he raises a brow at you. "someone's jealousy is showing," he quips.

"i'm not jealous," you defend. yeonjun leans closer to your ear, taking your lobe into his mouth. he licks a stripe along the side of your ear and kisses it making you shiver from his heavy breaths. "you sure?" he whispers. you sigh shakily and he moves to walk back to his desk. he settles himself in his chair, looking over at you expectantly.

you slowly walk over to his figure. he chuckles, eyeing your actions. you drop your bag on the floor by his desk and situate yourself on his lap so that you're straddling him. he places his hand on your thighs as you lean down to kiss him. you whimper when you feel his hands travel to the front of your jeans while he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. you open your mouth and he wastes no time letting his tongue explore it.

you sigh and find yourself grinding on his crotch. you really can't help it since you can practically feel his cock on you as he gets hard. he moves his hands from your zipper back to your thighs, gripping them roughly. "mm baby," he grunts out in a warning tone.

you don't listen and keep grinding on him, gradually getting quicker in your movements. you're pretty sure you're getting your panties and jeans wet with your cum but you don't care because damn this feels good. at this point you just wanna reach your high, you don't care if yeonjun scolds you afterwards.

yeonjun pulls away from you, scanning over your face. there's a string of saliva from him to you and your eyes are hooded looking down at him. "you're so needy today hm?" he pokes your lip in thought. "i guess i shouldn't have treated you that way today."

"yeonjun please," you whine. you try to grind on him more but he stops you. "take off your pants," he orders. you do as told and get back on his lap. the leather pants feel cold on your thighs making you shiver. "well go on baby," he's smiling up at you evilly. "junnie," you whine again.

he ignores you, watching you make a mess of yourself in front of him. the friction of your panties rubbing against his pants gets you feeling hot instantly. "ah- im s-so close," you mumble. your vision is kind of hazy but you can see yeonjun staring at you hungrily. "don't cum yet."

you smack his chest weakly and he chuckles lowly. "alright." he lifts you up and set you down on his desk. you watch him lower the leather pants and he sighs from relief. "the things i do for you," he smirks. he slides off your panties, licking his lips at how wet you are.

"can you hurry u-," he shuts you up by pushing his dick into you quickly. just by that alone you feel yourself about to cum. "faster," you moan. he complies, thrusting into you at a quicker speed than before.

the sound of skin slapping against skin rings throughout the his classroom and it makes your head spin. it's been a minute since yeonjun fucked you lik ethis but you're glad he's doing it now. you really did feel yeonjun deprived.

"do you feel me?" he teases, placing his cold hand on your lower stomach. you nod, frantically not really caring about whatever he was talking about. "jjun-"

"yeah," he breathes in reply.  you let otu a silent scream as you reach your orgasm. the way you clench around his dick makes him moan loudly.

"fuck im gonna cum too," he moans. he pulls his dick out of you and pumps it quickly, making himself cum all over your thighs and lower stomach. after a moment of trying to come to your senses, you flinch as try to get up but he stops you. "leaving so soon," he grunts while pulling his pants back up.

"im just surprised mr. c hasnt shown up," you dont think much of it when you say it but yeonjun frowns. "i told him we were gonna be busy," he mumbles walking back to his chair. you can hear the shift in his voice, "whats wrong now."

"y/n dont test me, you're mine."