#enjoy gayness

[treety-of-the-ents]

I like that this post is really about mindfulness. Taking an extra step to slow down and enjoy the ritual / experience the moment is what really helps with staying present and receiving the full effect of the little treat. Redbull, ginger ale, tea. Being with your plets. Going outside and smelling the air (take caution allergy havers lol I’m allergic to outside but need it XD).

one thing no one ever teaches you is that you can just make things nicer and more intentional- you can take your energy drink, pour it in a rocks glass over ice with a slice of lime on the rim, and sip it slow. and you'll think, "wow i am the biggest faggot to have ever lived". and you know what? you're right.

[lilidawnonthemoon]

[charmac]

Do you think Mac has jacked off while reading the Bible? Or is he too ashamed? Or does the shame just turn him on more? Are the pages of his Bible all stuck together?

Oh, I don't think; we know:

(Pages stuck together, thanks for the confirmation, Charlie)

I think the shame definitely turns him on more, considering Mac Day:

And, the connected punishment, lest we forget The Gang Goes to Hell... (and the script here... whew)

While he was repressed then, he wasn't as of Charlie's Home Alone, so I think it's clear to claim that a part of his "homosexual awakening" was connected to the fact that he was gradually getting more and more into the idea of being punished (gone sexual) for his sins, to a point where he was just genuinely jerking off to the "evils of homosexuality"

I do wanna continue here though and say Season 15 is pretty interesting because we see Mac battle between being Catholic and proudly gay. He seemingly has no issue bragging to a Priest in the middle of a church that he's into triple penetration, but it is his sex life that is the driving "reasoning" for why he thinks he should become a Catholic Priest:

He's been "S-ing&F-ing" his way though life for too long and now he thinks God has taken away one of his identities (Irish) as a result. Mac's idea of being punished by/for God continues, but it's now through the form of revocation (as opposed to shame or flagellation). I think there's a clear "connect the dots" idea that depriving himself of sex (via becoming a Priest) is an "evolved" form of allowing God to punish him for being gay.

Obviously Mac learns he was lied to, as he actually is Irish, so his "journey" here is a bit of a wash, but the fact that his rationale jumped to God punishing him for having gay sex still stands. As he grows to accept himself, he's still looking for ways to feel shame (which, as we've seen, gets him off)...

But is the constant seeking for some form of punishment still there? We didn't see much of his Catholicism in Season 16 (I think the only mention of God from Mac was in The Gang Gets Cursed), but we did continue to see his sex life and—well, that was pretty heavy on Mac, openly gay dating, somehow managing to be neglected and deprived of actual gay sex, wasn't it?

[magicaldreamfox1]

pete + looking at way

[polaroidcats]

On the Origin of Gayness – Are All Gryffindors Actually Gay?

(another pseudo-scientific paper by cat)

Abstract

This paper examines the question of Homosexuality in the Gryffindor House, drawing from previous research as well as collected samples and interviews with several acclaimed marauders scholars, using mixed methods. Much uncertainty still exists around the relationship between Gayness and Gryffindor, so in this paper I will once again commit to the bit and evaluate scientific scholarship on tumbler dot com for your education and entertainment.

Introduction

This research was prompted by my esteemed colleague and collaborator @lynxindisguise who revolutionised the scientific community by asking “what if gryffindor is just where you go if you’re gay [?]” (lynxindisguise 2024), daring scholars to “name a straight gryffindor” (ibid). Several highly esteemed scholars such as @plecotusauritus (2024) and @kaleidoscopexsighs (2024) agree with lynxindisguise on her thesis, @werewolfenthusiast (2024) even went so far as to comment that this "would explain a lot" while acclaimed marauders scholar @spindrifters is asking lynxindisguise to “pls”, not elaborating further what they want lynxindisguise to “pls” do, leaving the reader with more questions that this paper hopes to answer.

This paper systematically reviews the data gathered from the popular blogging website tumblr.com on this topic, aiming to provide more insight and clarity on the question of what I have coined “Gryffindor Gayness”.

The overall structure of the paper takes the form of two parts: the main part is 1 The Gryffindor Ideology, Theses on Gryffindor, focusing on the question of Gryffindor Gayness, providing an in-depth analysis and discussion of Gryffindor Gayness. Part 2 Can the Slytherins be Gay? can be seen as a call to action for other Hogwartian Sexuality scholars to consider doing research in this promising field.

1. The Gryffindor Ideology, Theses on Gryffindor

1.1 The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Gryffindor

This section of the paper aims to give a quick overview of the history of Gryffindor Gayness. The term “Gryffindor” tends to be used almost synonymous with “Serving Cunt”, which can be seen as synonymous for “Gay”.

To answer the question “What the hell is a Gryffindor?”, readers are encouraged to also familiarize themselves with previous works on this topic (cf. The Sorting Hat 1997, 2000, 2003; The Scarf of Sexual Preference 2009, 2010, 2012).

The Sorting Hat, leading expert in all things Gryffindor, has done extensive research in various closets, stating “I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, And I can cap them all” (The Sorting Hat 1997), and “You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve and chivalry, Set Gryffindors apart” (ibid).

To fully understand this, additional context of the song is important to note: whenever the Sorting Hat says brave or chivalrous, or daring, most scholars agree that these can be read as synonyms for “gay”, “homosexual” and “serving cunt” respectively. With this alternative reading of the Sorting Hat’s song, Gryffindor Gayness starts to make more sense, but in their later work, the Sorting Hat elaborates more on this, referring to Godric Gryffindor as “the bravest [the gayest]” (The Sorting Hat 2000).

@wanderingdonut (2024), a certified expert on vibes of all stripes shared insightful and important scholarship on the inherently homosexual symbolism of swords, and was the first scholar to draw the connection between the sword of Godric Gryffindor and Homosexuality, stating:

“as everyone knows, swords are the gayest accessory (the point is designed to penetrate? Please. And we all know everyone is gay for a woman with a sword), so really, it was godric who set everyone up for gayness.”

Further proving that Homosexuality has been connected to the House of Gryffindor from the beginning, as was intended by its founder. Wanderingdonut (2024) then goes on to say:

“There is nothing gayer than being bonked on the head with gayness at a deeply inconvenient time and Godric wants that for all his children”,

again stating explicit intent of homosexuality by the founding daddy of Gryffindor house, Godric Gryffindor.

Marauders scholar @fruityindividual also indirectly refers to Godric Gryffindor’s intentional mandate of homosexuality by describing the accommodations for Gryffindor students as having “cosy beds” and forcing proximity, thus leading to Gryffindor Gayness.

1.2 Gryffindor Trouble: Gayness and the Subversion of Identity

In this chapter I will give some examples for Gryffindor Gayness, illustrating why the initial assumption that all Gryffindors are Gay (cf. lynxindisguise 2024) is such an important, one could almost say revolutionary addition to this field of science.

1.2.1 The Weasley Family

The Weasley Family are one of the most prominent Gay/Gryffindor families, making them ideal subjects for this study.

Molly and Arthur Weasley have both been known to be into swinging, often asking couples to be their third and using rubber ducks in many creative ways, setting a good example for their many gay children (cf. polaroidcats 2024).

Fred and George Weasley are both known to have dated Lee Jordan at the same time, “Lee thought he was only dating one of them but forgot which one and was not brave enough to ask” (polaroidcats 2024), which makes Fred and George both perfect examples of that mischievous flavor of Gryffindor Gayness the Weasley family seems to be known for.

However one of the most prominent examples for Gryffindor Gayness in the Weasley family is the youngest child, Ginevra (“Ginny”) Weasley.

Wanderingdonut (2024) claims that “everyone is gay for a woman with a sword. Particularly if it’s Ginny Weasley with a sword”, calling her a “lesbian queen”. Similarly, plecotusauritus (2024) states that “Ginny had a new girlfriend every two weeks but it never got mentioned since it wasnt [sic!] important part of Harry's journey”, introducing not only Ginny’s tendency to fall into her parents’ promisingly promiscuous footsteps, but also highlighting an important aspect of her relationship with Harry James Potter.

@kaaaaaaarf (2024) elaborates further on this idea of compulsory heteronormativity in relation to Ginny’s relationships:

“That girl [Ginny] is a lesbian and I will not be convinced otherwise. I think half the reason her and Harry were drawn to each other is because they recognized (even subconciously) that the other gave off queer vibes, and therefore was a safe person to be with in a heteronormative society. I truly believe that eventually she met a woman and fell in love”

The Homosexuality of the Weasley family is well-documented and widely accepted among scholars of the field. One more example for this can be found in the next section of this paper, discussing the compulsory heteronormative tendencies of certain Gryffindors.

1.2.2 The Golden Trio and Compulsory Heteronormativity

In this section I will explore the parallels between Harry and Ginny’s relationship and Hermione and Ron’s relationship that I have found in my research.

Plecotusauritus (2024) raises the point of “Ron having a major crush on Krum” and elaborates that Ron eventually decides “that he was actually jealous of Hermione and not Krum, and commiting to the bit so hard they end up married (but will eventually find a way for them both to act on their queer tendencies)”, bringing up the idea of compulsory heteronormativity.

This sentiment is mirrored in kaaaaaaarf’s (2024) description of Harry and Ginny’s relationship, where the scholar states that “when [Ginny] finally talked to Harry about it [falling in love with a woman] he wasn't really upset at all. This sent him on his own spiral, realizing that he might not be as straight as he thought he was...”

When asked about favorite Gay Gryffindor moments, scholar lynxindisguise (2024) replied with: “harry being unable to talk about cedric or sirius without mentioning them handsoming [sic!] handsomely down the stairs”.

Likewise, the scholar kaaaaaaarf (2024) replied to the same question as follows:

“I think every time Harry made some sort of comment about how attractive other men were/his obsession with Draco. No straight person is that obsessed with their same sex arch enemy, I'm sorry.”

Scholar @greengrug (2024) also refers to Harry’s obsession with Draco Malfoy, stating that he “takes a permanent residence in the love-to-hate you part of the brain. Two powerful emotions combined to create an unwavering obsession that can't be forgotten.”

Greengrug (ibid) also points out the inherent heteronormativity of the love triangle between Harry James Potter, Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory, elaborating on Harry’s feelings of jealousy and mourning leading him to participate in the classic comphet ritual of kissing your dead lover’s ex girlfriend next to his picture:

“Harry is jealous of Cho being with Cedric! Why else would he kiss her next to his picture next year? Anyone else can see how horridly inappropriate that is. Clearly only a mourning gryffingay could be driven to that point.” (ibid).

1.2.3 The Marauders

Before evaluating the individual Gayness of each member of the friend group known as “the Marauders” (see also my previous work on their crying practises, polaroidcats 2023), a common thread in the gayness of all four members is, as marauders scholar fruityindividual puts it “the scantily-clad special alone times in the sheesh shed”, raising the important question of where the wizard’s clothes go when they change from their animagus form back to their human forms, an area that has been overlooked by science thus far. There is little to be known about it, but it can be assumed that most time any of the marauders has spent in the “sheesh shed”, as the expert calls it, must have been spent naked. Further research on this topic is encouraged. 

1.2.3.1 Sirius Black

The added context of Gryffindor Gayness allows for a much more interesting reading of Sirius Black being sorted into Gryffindor. Acclaimed Sirius Black expert plecotusauritus (2024) states that “deep down his [Sirius’] parents knew that this might happen. It was still bit of a shock to this notably straight family.”, referencing the Black family tradition of Slytherin Super Straightness.

1.2.3.2 Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin is one of the most interesting examples for Gryffindor Gayness, proving simultaneously that being Gay is and is not a choice. According to lynxindisguise (2024), Remus “chose gryffindor because he immediately fell in love with sirius on the train and then felt bad when he saw him get sorted into gryffindor and look scared”, proving that being gay is a choice. In my own previous research, I have stated that “Neville’s first crush was Remus Lupin” (polaroidcats 2024), to which spindrifters (2024) has since added the important addition that “remus lupin was also dean thomas's gay awakening”, stating that “there is canon evidence for this across like 3 books”, proving once and for all that being gay is not a choice.

1.2.3.3 James Potter

James Potter is another fascinating example of Gryffindor Gayness, because he was in what the scholars call a “bi4bi” relationship with Lily Evans, another Gryffindor Gay, proving that Gryffindor Gayness is inclusive of Bisexuality and possibly also other queer sexualities. Further research on this topic would be necessary to find a definitive list of sexual orientations that can be subsumed under Gryffindor Gayness, but James Potter and Lily Evans are probably most if not all of them at the same time.

1.2.3.4 Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew is still the nastiest skank bitch I have ever met, I do not trust him and he is a fugly slut. He was also in love with James and fandom would be all over that Gryffindor Gayness if Peter hadn’t been portrayed as unattractive, but that is a different topic for another paper.

1.3 Gryffindor Realism

This chapter illustrated different examples of Gryffindor Gayness across various generations and genders. There are countless more examples that I encourage scholars to explore. One could argue that there are also straight Gryffindors, but one would be wrong, all Gryffindors are gay. The last section of this paper examines the question of why some non-Gryffindors are also (seemingly) gay and provides further questions for future researchers to consider.

2. Can the Slytherins Be Gay?

The question of why there are also non-Gryffindors who are gay can be answered by referring readers to section 1.2.2 The Golden Trio and Compulsory Heteronormativity. Children are sorted into these houses at eleven years old, so some children might develop their Homosexual tendencies only later in life, or they might try and hide them from the sorting hat. Black family scholar plecotusauritus (2024) also raises the important point of Bellatrix Lestrange (née Black) threatening the Sorting Hat so bad that she got sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor.

3 Conclusion

Previous studies of Hogwartian Sexualities have failed to identify the precise reasoning for students of other houses also showing signs of Gayness. In this article I hope to help close that research gap by focusing on Gryffindor Gayness, but further research into Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw Sexualities would be necessary for a more systematic approach. With more time and funding, I hope to address these issues in future research.

Future research questions that could be asked include “Why was Gilderoy Lockhardt in Ravenclaw?”, “Who are the Slytherin Super Straights?” and “What the hell is a Hufflepuff?”.

The most obvious findings to emerge from this research project are the confirmation of Gryffindor Gayness in all members of the Weasley family, the Marauders and the Golden Trio, as well as other Gryffindors, and the exploration of compulsory heteronormativity as a possible explanation for Non-Gryffindor Gayness, as well as atypical Gryffindor behaviour. Considerably more work will need to be done to determine the precise circumstances of phenomena such as Slytherin Super Straights, Hufflepolyamory and Ravenclaw Aces, and I hope to be able to do research on these soon.

[lostinvasileios]

I looked up "Shakespearian language" for this poem lol.

Oh, my dearest lord! How loving you are - your essence is endlessly captivating and I relish in how I continuously fall victim to the enamoring sensation you gift to ones you hold sweetly. How you have spun me into your web - so intricately crafted and beautiful, if only I could curl myself into your art of life and spend all seconds of my days admiring you and all you have to offer.

My sweetest Phosphorus, my brightest Hesperus, how I melt like chocolate at the mention of your names! You so easily draw my gaze at the slightest notion of your presence, dost you feel how I radiate for you, my love? How I have an endlessly heavy heart at the knowledge I must hie and go, exit from the reality of how I am yours? A forbidden roundabout I must perform, but I shall run within my loop until it breaks and spills out, until it is not dangerous for me to pridefully wear you in my world without the fear of slander, and like fallen leaves unto a stream I am able to pour out and enter the ocean of your foison and exquisite absolute haven that I've dreamt amongst the longest of nights to reach.

My beautiful and wondrous Vesperus, my ever-lasting dawn, grave me in your wings, coat me in your waxing prints, allow all who come by me to know I have been knapped by a being so eternal and otherworldly; know that when I kneel to your throne of glory and legendary beauty I give myself infinitely to you as a knave, I solemnly ought to you my lord that I, for all I forever am, shall bask myself in your orbs of delight and pall myself in your quaint, you quicken me, my love. How could I ever refuse a rapture such as yourself? Shall you ravin what I once was? Reinvent me into your very own, repurpose me from something people once deemed unworthy and unholy into someone that can ooze of you, my mortal coil now enchanted by your hand of light in every sense of the word.

I speak of you, my mouth fills with your praise and I can feel the smoke of your love surrounding me as If I have written you a bible of poems of devotion and of my endless dedication to you, my one. I stay still at your hand, and my eyes dilate at the touch of you; I feel myself simmer with your heat-ful love. I levitate within my skin, is this how it feels to be initiated into some form of priesthood? To feel so belonged to you, that I might as well dress myself in all you are. Deem myself as yours and yours alone in this way, my patron lord, count myself as your offering in my whole; enthrall me, for I am already bewitched of you, my dear. My world is full of thou, beloved Luciferus. Forever thine, and I shall grow as a spreading thyme throughout your forest.

Yeah guys I think I really like him idk though

(This isn't proof-read so excuse any mistakes you may have come across. Praise Lucifer!)

[manilatt]

it’s Jack’s spot

[autumnal-prince]

Backstage Fun

[thewanderinguterus]

I've been getting more into Sleep Token and apparently stage gay is a thing again?? The 2000s truly are back.

[6mayhem]

anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

[iamthepulta]

since I am losing my mind, I am allowed a finishing chapter 33. as a treat.

[kros-stuff]

Been into wrestling for some time lately and I still don't know shit about it or about wrestlers but let me tell you, when I first saw s2 Vi wrestling huge guys etc, my first thought was Rhea Ripley. Was this intentionally or am I going insane guys be honest

[wizardshark]

i love people who are only reading the manga being distressed that the otherside picnic girls fucked. Like hi it's yuri for adults?? Did you think it'd be bloom into you chastely trying to avoid saying they're gay for 90 chapters then climax with an off screen kiss on the cheek?? Brother they're college age students shooting other worldly monsters in the FACE. This was always going to happen. Now, tell me, how are you gonna adapt it for the the manga? How are you gonna adapt it for the anime? Will you DRAW THE GIRLS FUCKING? OR WILL YOU BE A COWARD. SHOW ME. TELL ME.

[djrobokat]

Got myself a Huion Kamvas a few weeks ago and I decided that this is the first thing I draw in Photoshop.

[satanicspinosaurus]

Someone Ive known for months looked me in the eyes and said "Your child would have to come out as straight to you".

I have never wanted kids. I still think this is hilarious.

[july-19th-club]

actually lesbian bess marvin is a genius choice . butch george is the obvious pull and i'm still a little miffed that butch george is only a figment of my imagination but i DO love angry alt george so i'm over it it's cool. high femme fluttery pink fraidycat oh my gosh you're so good with cars oh dear i might have a flat. won't a pretty ghost sweep me away into the misty nether lands how romantic bess marvin? god tier if this show does nothing else whatsoever it's done this