#energized tomorrow.... knowing me probably not but still it was good to have a break from Everything.

[gayteddy]

stays up until 5am writing 4k of OC fanfiction that 3 people tops will ever see including myself. <3

[honey-on-your-tongue]

All That Could Be

Series masterlist

Part four

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: OMG I'm so sorry it's taken me over a year?!?!?!? What the fuck, that's crazy. I'm so fucking sorry that it's been so fucking long. Buuuuuut, as you all can see, I'm reviving this story and I have every intention of finishing it, babes. I LOVE YOU!!!

You find yourself staring at your reflection in a full-body mirror. You're wearing irrationally...pretty clothes.

A pair of black nylon tights, black combat boots, and a tight, short, red dress. The hem reaches your mid-thigh, the deep v-neck exposing the top of your breasts.

You glance up to meet your own gaze. You're wearing a thick layer of mascara, shiny lip gloss, smoky eyeshadow that makes your eyes look like feline and dangerous, almost like a lynx.

Elegant and deadly.

The doorbell rings, your heart leaps, and suddenly you're full of butterflies.

You spray yourself with your favorite perfume and take a deep breath before walking to the front door. You open it before you regret the whole idea, and you find Wilson there.

He's wearing a white button-up, no tie, casual khakis. He eyes you and you can see the blush that spreads on his cheeks.

“Wow,” he says, his eyes taking one last look from your head to your toes, and then he meets your gaze. “You look...wow.”

You smile almost shyly. “Thank you. You look very handsome yourself,” you reply, and he chuckles softly.

“You ready to go?” he asks, nodding at the stairs.

“Yeah,” you reply, walking out of your apartment. You lock the door after yourself and follow him.

You two walk to his car and he opens the door for you. You thank him and sit in the passenger side, buckling your seat belt as he gets in the driver's seat.

You get to the bar eventually. But the whole ride, you keep debating this. It's wrong, but the general intention is good.

The means justify the end, you decide. You're doing it all for Wilson, to help him. He's your friend, and you care about him. Deeply.

As you two walk into the bar, the smell of cigarettes, alcohol, and sweat fills your nose. The music is loud, booming, shaking your entire body. You lead Wilson to a booth at the far end, crammed and dim, the strobe lights flashing everywhere.

You sit down and he sits down across from you. A waiter comes by and you each order your preferred drinks.

You don't know if it's the lights, the smoke, the fact that you said you'd be someone else tonight or if it's you trying to stick to the plan, but an idea comes to mind. A stupid, stupid idea that you know you shouldn't go through with. And you still do.

“So,” you tell Wilson, taking a sip from your drink before placing it on the table. “I propose we set down a goal for tonight.”

“A goal? Like what?”

You bite your lower lip before saying, “My goal is to do something I'd probably never do, and not regret it tomorrow.”

Wilson raises his eyebrows. “Alright. Uh. My goal is to...forget about my divorce for tonight and just pretend it's not happening.”

You nod. “See? Perfect. Now, we set the rules.” You take a long sip from your drink and add, “Rule number one, there are no rules.” You smile. “You okay with that?”

Wilson nods. “Yeah, I am.” He drinks from his glass of bourbon, neat. “So, when you say you want to do something you normally wouldn't, what do you mean?”

You take a soft breath before smiling. “I don't know,” you admit, smiling playfully. “Probably some spur-of-the-moment sort of thing. Something stupid. Really fucking dumb.” You shrug. “Dumb sort of shit.”

“Ah,” he says. “How come?”

You shrug again. “What's wrong with a little distraction?”

The night draws on. You keep feeling guilty about this whole thing, about tricking him, about how you'll eventually have to break his heart.

So you drink it away. You try to forget it. Try to numb the feeling.

And Wilson keeps up with you.

Soon, you're both on the dance floor sticky from spilled drinks. You're jumping around and laughing, dancing from side to side. It's more of an ecstatic, too-much-pent-up-energy sort of dance in the beginning.

You don't know how or when or why, but from one moment to the next, you find yourself dancing with Wilson.

His hands are on your hips, your arms around his neck. Your eyes are locked on his, the flashing lights making your heart race. Or is it the booming music? Or the way he slowly walks you back until you're pressed up against the wall?

His brown eyes are blown wide with lust. They move to your lips and hold your gaze, his intentions very, very clear.

Do something I'd probably never do...

You let him kiss you. In fact, you meet him halfway. Your lips crash together, hungry and rough. His hands pin your hips to the wall and he presses his body to yours.

The atmosphere is hot, humid with the warmth of so many bodies pressed and moving together. You feel a sheen layer of sweat coating your skin.

It's so hot. So warm. You can't think straight and the music is loud. So much that you can't even hear that little voice in the back of your head yelling, don't! Don't! Don't!

You pull him closer, your breathing heavy as he slides his tongue into your mouth. You can taste the bourbon on his lips, can smell his cologne.

One of his hands moves lower, gliding down the side of your thigh. His fingers tease the hem of your dress before sliding under it, moving slowly to your inner thigh.

You keep kissing him, allowing him to touch you. Somewhere in the back of your head, you know this is a horrendous thing to do. A terrible, terrible idea.

And you still go through with it.

His hand reaches between your thighs, his fingers teasing your clit softly through your tights.

You gasp and moan into the kiss, spreading your legs slightly for him. He keeps touching you, his fingers precise as he plays with your clit.

You're soaked, your slick dripping past your panties and past your tights to wet his fingers. You whine against his mouth, slightly bitting his lower lip.

You feel him smile, his hand pulling your tights down enough for him to push your panties to the side and run his finger up your slit.

You moan softly, arching your back slightly.

“Fuck,” he sighs, kissing your neck. “You're so fucking wet.”

You blush a little but don't say anything. You throw your head back, letting him kiss and bite your neck, his fingers teasing your clit.

You can feel his cock, so hard, poking your lower stomach. You have the sudden urge to take him somewhere and have him fuck you, but you're not stupid enough to do that.

He traces your entrance with one of his rough fingers before sliding it into you. You release a shaky breath as a shot of pleasure runs through your body.

Carefully, he slides a second finger inside of you, curling them up, touching that spongy spot that makes your legs jerk. He presses his thumb to your clit, and when you bite your lip to keep quiet, he laughs, his voice thick and low.

“This will be the dumb fucking shit you do tonight. And you won't regret this tomorrow, right?” he asks, licking under your jaw.

You moan softly and shake your head. “No. Absolutely not.”

He kisses your jaw, his fingers touching all the right spots. Everything around you has become hazy, a dizzying array of lights and drinks and smoke. But all you can focus on is Wilson.

He grabs one of your thighs in his other hand, pulling your leg around his waist so that his fingers can go deeper into you.

You moan against his lips, nails digging into his back. “Oh, God,” you gasp, beginning to grind your hips against his hand. “Oh, God.”

Wilson chuckles, biting your neck, his tongue sliding over the mark he's surely left. “It's okay, it's okay. Relax,” he says gently. “Let me do what I wanna do.”

You mewl, back arching. “What-what do you wanna do?” you ask between moans and heavy breaths.

“I wanna make you come on my fingers, and then on my cock,” he says against your ear, the words rolling ring onto your skin. You can taste the liquor on his tongue, can smell his cologne and the sweet scent of his shampoo.

“Fuck,” you whine. “Fuck.”

“God, you're so wet,” he grunts. “So warm. I just need to be inside of you. Goddamn.”

His fingers move with precision, with a purpose. He's not rushing anything, not doing the typical guy thing of only getting you wet enough to stick it in you. He cares about your pleasure. He wants you to come, to enjoy yourself. And that makes something warm spread through you.

You can feel the ecstasy within you spread, like white-hot coils twisting around your womb, leaving you almost dumb from pleasure.

Just as you’re getting closer and closer, Wilson’s phone rings. He groans, kissing at your neck, and ignores the call. But the phone keeps ringing and ringing, and it’s really ruining the mood.

He pulls his fingers out of you, groaning at the loss of your cunt around his digits. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he says, releasing your thigh from around his waist and pulling his phone out of his pocket. He flips it open and exhales sharply. “House,” he groans into the phone.

You can’t hear what House says on the phone, but you see James’ eye-roll. “No, I’m busy.” A pause. “I’m…at a rave surrounded by sorority girls,” he says sarcastically, winking playfully at you.

You smile softly and laugh.

James grins and quickly says, “House, I’m busy. Goodbye.” He hangs up, putting the phone back in his pocket.

You two stare at each other for a moment and Wilson smiles sheepishly.

“We’ve had too much to drink, huh?” you say quietly, glancing down at the floor.

He nods, agreeing. “Probably. I think maybe it’s best if we…take a cab home.”

“Yeah, okay,” you reply, a little embarrassed, and awkwardly pull your tights back up your thighs.

Wilson grabs your hand with his clean one, licking your slick off his other fingers. “Shame,” he says quietly. “If House hadn’t called…”

You know what he meant. But your guilt is eating at you. Still, you manage a little smile at him. “Raincheck?”

He grins. “Raincheck.”

---

Taglist

@pigeonmama @thefemininemystiquee @acdassenza

---

Blog masterlist

[smalife1234]

What made me smile this week?

Monday, 11/18/24 - today we're supposed to go to school but we're so worn out and I was exhausted from chemo we decided to take a day off we did this to be energized for the next four days and honestly just to have a break, we did enjoy our day off and we did hangout for the majority of the day we laughed and played pokemon games and then we kept having fun recreating audios or just making faces with the audios me and luz did that perfectly lol! We mainly had a blast, but sadly, we did have to do dishes because Dad wanted to make dinner, but that means that we don't have to do them on Tuesday! Which is normally our day! But we did have a great day, and it was a well-deserved day off. We'll be going to school tomorrow! But we did enjoy this day and it definitely made me smile!

Tuesday, 11/19/24 - today, we go back to school, and in the first period, I had to work on all the questions of the online assignment since last Friday, I spent the whole class working on the pulmonary function test lab, lol. Still, they were pretty easy. We just had to give detailed answers, so it took me an entire hour and more to complete all of those questions. Then, in the second period, we had a huge test! It had 31 questions and I spent maybe 30 minutes on the test probably even more but I do not know what grade I got because it didn't tell us I just realized I failed lol, but I got through with that and started working on my course reflection summary paper as that's due today at midnight, I got it done for the most part I just need to edit it and re-read it over and over lol, shortly after we headed to lunch where I had saw that there was a sign saying were temporarily out of lettuce meaning no salad but there were wraps and I thought why not give it a try so I did and there was my favorite ranch there “caesar dressing” and I ordered what I would normally on the salad but instead in a wrap and I ate it and it was actually really good! I liked how much chicken and toppings there were in the wrap, but it was extremely messy, lol! But I did enjoy it and it did fill me right up! Then in the third period, we watched the last 15-minute video we had watched on Monday while I was out and it was pretty interesting then we talked about fingerprints for a few and continued to another lab we had to do fingerprints and put hot glue and then water on one side of a petri dish (don't know what that was about?) but then we had to analyze the fingerprints of our classmates and see what fingerprint sample there's matched to, so we did that and it took the rest of the class and were still not done so that will definitely lead into Thursday lol, but then in the fourth period we had talked about toxic friendships and then watched a TED talk video and had a sheet to answer the questions and then we shortly moved on to another assignment which was based on more questions paired with an article. And then we got home, where unexpectedly I started my period, which is weird cause I thought I would've gotten it on the 24th. My body is weird like that, and yes, I chart this because I got to an endocrinologist, and I just find this easier. Then we played on Subway Surfers and Pokemon TGC Pocket and then we enjoyed some yummy Alfredo or at least Willam Donny and Sydney did later that night :) Today has made me smile!

Wednesday, 11/20/24 - today we woke up and I had just gotten dressed and chilled on Instagram for a few until we had to leave for the bus we had an unexpected rain shower that morning so we had to grab an umbrella quickly and it sucked lol we soon got on the bus and had to put the wet umbrella on the bus floor or hold it directly over the floor, then in the first period I had reviewed over some youtube descriptions to see if they needed shaping up then we had to start an assignment that required six sheets of papers for the different client clearance forms I guess ol just for PLTW and so as of currently Im updating weekly smiles off of my computer and then I, ll get started so to chart I got started at 9:06 AM now its 9:57 and I've gotten every paper done! Wow, I work fast, but now I just need to work on the questions, which might take a bit, but they are due Monday, so no worries! In the second period, I got a yummy chocolate oatmeal cookie and we began a worksheet and a puzzle, then the teacher started talking about crazy police reports she, 's been writing for 25 years, she talked about one where a husband and wife were playing around and then he took her 50$ bra and fried in a frying pan with chicken lol it was crazy and now we're just working and I continue to update weekly smiles then I done the ed puzzle and got a 56 since I was so confused lol and then I had watched a mole conversions video, now I have been working on completing very old notes from September and October roll and I started around 11:07 and worked all the way until 11:39 lol but I've made great progress and so far iv,e gotten to the seventh of October! During this period we had worked on the rest of our fingerprinting activity and I got that finished then I finished the two sets of notes required and surprisingly this is the most chill day in her class lol since for the past 30 minutes I got to chill then in fourth period we had talked over our 2.00 summary discussion paper and then we soon worked on as assignment where we had to create a fake scenario while drawing out the texts and then the good friend responding on the other side, we did another assignment that contained 11 questions, shortly after we left school and then we came home and we just had a fun time hanging out! And now we are chilling, editing, and playing video games lol, even though I should really be editing lol! But I eventually filmed my little heart out in two videos in one night! That's a lot of work for me, and so I edited them until 10:45 Pmm. And they are both ready to go. Please look out for those videos. Come both on Thursday!

Thursday, 11/21/24 - Hey everyone today is my wife's amazing anniversary! She has hit 9 months as a quadriplegic. I couldn't be more proud and amazed by her. I love you, baba! Moving on from the wonderful achievement I am on my 61st round of chemotherapy! And my video and my wife's video are coming out today! My wife is coming out at 7:00 Am, I believe, and mine is coming out at 3:15 P.m.! So please enjoy! Now, in the first period, I began working on 3.1.7, cleared to climb, and then sent photos to Donny, and now I am updating weekly smiles so far. I started the assignment at 8:20, and I'll update you all when I am done, lol! Now I'm finally done at 9:34! And now it's time to work on my chemistry paper, lol, and now I'm finished, so I've done a lot of work in one class, and now I'll try and update the descriptions for today's videos!

Friday, 11/22/24 - today I missed school because I had a random bout of diarrhea a headache, and a sore throat so I just enjoyed my day the best I could I sat and battled on Pokemon TGC, and then shortly after I had just watched things on my computer and then we filmed Lu,z story and how she transfers in and out of her wheelchair and we provided a way more in-depth video soon hours later Willam and Donny came home from school and told me about there day after that they hadgivene me a yummy chair coated in chocolate, and then we just enjoyed the rest of the night before the weekends! Today made me smile!

Saturday, 11/23/24 - today is the weekend! I woke up pretty late but we had just chilled in our blankets for a few and then we watched Instagram most of the time, shortly after we had noticed Ember our cousin was over at our house doing crafts for her fundraiser and then we got some yummy dunkin donuts and a drink from mom and then we done a video for her fundraiser just a short three-minute video and then we hanged out for a few and then we got McDonald's we got a big mack and fries and a dr pepper! It was good, and we enjoyed the meal. Then we just had a fun time playing with Snapchat filters and had a great time hanging out. We had done a swap wheelchair challenge for a day, and it had been pretty chill, lol. We had a fun time hanging out most of the day! Today was chill and it made me smile!

Sunday, 11/24/24 - today is our 1st wedding anniversary! We have officially been married for 1 year! And I wouldn't choose to spend this day with anyone else! I love you, Emmie. For our 1 year, we had woken up, and we just hung out, and then we posted several edits on our Instagram pages! Please check those out! Then we hung out for a while and then we heard our mom cussing and yelling because of a battery that went missing and now we are again sitting on our wedding anniversary with something going wrong don't get me wrong I love my wife and I'm happy it's our 1st wedding anniversary BUT I would much rather have a calm nice day with friends and my wife rather than anticipating when our moms next screaming episode are you know? And we're editing and hopefully that goes well! And we'll just cut to the chase! We had a good day. We enjoyed the rest of our afternoon, and it did make us smile! I love you baba 💓 Happy 1 year to us! Now the most important Question?!

What made you smile this week?

Img desc #1: Emmie is seen in a grey short-sleeved shirt while smiling near a white clock door and white wall. She is seen giving off a big smile!

Img desc #2: doc is seen on Doc and Emmies date night she is seen smiling while in a beige-colored long-sleeved sweater.

Img desc #3: doc is seen smiling with a group of people. While smiling, she is wearing a white long-sleeved shirt and beige-colored sweatpants.

Img desc #4: Emmie, seen with a group of people, smiling while wearing a black long-sleeved hoodie and black sunglasses 🕶️.

Img desc #5: a beautiful sunset is shown near Doc's house.

Img desc #6: a black plate is shown with an empty packet of Cesar dressing and Cesar dressing in the packet is seen spread across the plate and a few bits of bread from the wrap.

[dont-call-me-baby-posts]

Blacking Out and Breaking Hearts - Chapter 8

Blacking Out and Breaking Hearts - Master List

Word Count: 4.4K

Warnings: A bit of the good old fashioned ~*sexual tension*~

Summary: Y/N is a successful musician, trying to navigate the world of stardom along with her complicated feelings for her best friend, Harry.

Alternatively: The one where it all comes out.

A/N: This chapter literally made me so mad, and I'm the one who wrote it 🤭 Let me know what you all think of the series so far! Things are gonna get good, just wait...

Chapter 8

The night went on. Eventually your thoughts cleared, embarrassment threatening to sneak in before you pushed it away with one more drink. You really let yourself get worked up during that game of Truth or Dare. But you all were having fun, harmless fun, and you couldn’t help it. You could normally do your best to silence the dirty thoughts that came into your mind around him, but tonight you had let the floodgates open.

“I have to go to sleep now, or I’m going to die.” Logan groaned. She was right. It was way too late, (or maybe early?), to still be awake. Your own eyes had started growing heavy, so you didn’t mind as you went to one of the many cardboard boxes near the foyer to grab a few blankets. Logan laid down on the couch, asleep before you could even tuck her in. You gave her a small kiss on the head, brushing the hair away from her face. She was going to feel like shit tomorrow for sure.

Layla and Max cuddled up on the other section, Layla having already grabbed them both a large glass of water from the kitchen. This is what you meant when you said she was the smart one. You headed towards the stairs as she forced Max to drink his down to the bottom, her boyfriend mumbling quiet protests all the while.

You threw one more blanket towards Harry, who’s arms weren’t moving quick enough to catch it. He bent down to reach it, wobbling slightly.

“There’s a guest room upstairs, I’ll show you.”

He reached out, grabbing your wrist, probably harder than he meant to. You paused, looking at him quizzically.

“Let me sleep with you.” He asked. He sounded like a child asking to crawl into bed after a nightmare. He pushed out his lower lip, giving his best puppy dog face. He should’ve known at this point you would do anything he said. “Please.”

“Yeah, sure.” You said. A hiccup mixed with a giggle rose from your chest. Harry kept his hand around your arm, leading you up the stairs.

The room was dark, aside from the hints of moonlight leaking in through the cracks in the blinds. You threw yourself onto the bed, accepting it’s embrace. The cool sheets felt nice against your face. Harry laid next to you on his back. You were exhausted, of course, but you somehow felt energized feeling his leg brush yours. You turned to face him. He turned to face you.

“Thanks for inviting me to your sleepover.” He said through a crooked grin. “I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.”

“Thank you for coming.”

“That’s what Hudson said after the fourth one, huh?” Harry quipped. You lifted your pillow, swatting him on the shoulder. You both laughed until your belly hurt.

“You’re not gonna let me live that down, are you?” You asked, covering your face. You felt like you could explode.

“Well it sounds like you won’t soon forget.”

You swatted him again, whining an exaggerated “stop”. His entire body shook with laughter.

“I’m serious!” He yelped, flinching away from your pillow coming towards him. “I could never compete with Hudson.” He mocked Logan’s voice as he mentioned your now infamous ex-boyfriend.

“I’m sure you do just fine, superstar.” You responded quickly, before your mind could wonder what he meant by that. You had to force yourself not to think of all of the ways that you were sure Harry could compete. You couldn’t help but look back on Hudson fondly, though, wondering where he was these days. Did he ever tell anyone about the time he went down on Y/N? His new coworkers, maybe, a barista at a coffee shop? You snickered drunkenly at the thought, imagining it play out. His friends probably told him he was full of shit. Maybe you still had his number… You should text and see how he’s doing….

“We need to go to sleep.” You decided, standing. You were at the point in the night where you were literally contemplating texting ex-boyfriends, albeit without any intentions of hooking up and getting back together. You needed to put yourself to bed before you did some stupid shit Bethany wouldn’t approve of in the morning.

Without thinking, you pulled off your pajama pants, leaving you in just your t-shirt and underwear. You gasped, realizing, before exploding with laughter. “I am soo sorry!”

Harry covered his eyes, yelling out in faux horror. You quickly pulled them back up, barely managing to do so without falling over.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Your house, your rules.”

“And anyway,” he added. “I really don’t mind. Really.”

You decided to be bold, letting the fuzzy fabric fall to the floor again. Harry pretended not to look, but you caught him shifting a sneaky side-eye your way. You jumped into bed, fumbling to cover yourself with the blanket. Harry sat up enough to take his shirt off, wiggling himself beneath the covers next to you.

“There’s another blanket if you want it,” you offered. Your boldness turned out to be temporary, and you suddenly felt as if you were sobering up. You felt exposed, like you wanted to turn into yourself and hide the body that you’d spent so many years hating. You felt that if he got one look at you, a really good look, then he would be able to spot all of the horrible things you always saw in the mirror and hate them, too.

“Do you want me to use that one?” He asked. His eyes met yours with a sudden intensity that your intoxicated brain could barely handle. You swallowed.

“No, it’s fine.”

Harry yawned, telling you again how much fun he’d had. There was a buzz between you, keeping both of you from getting anywhere near sleep.

You talked about how good it was to be in a real bed, away from the bus and the venues and the fans. Harry listened intently, the bags beneath his eyes only making him more irresistable. Any awkwardness there was a few minutes ago had gone, and you both chatted as if you were at lunch, or on a long drive. Harry reached out, taking his hands in yours again. He lifted your knuckles to lips, kissing each finger. His eyes didn’t stray from yours. You ordinarily would have looked away, but the lack of sleep and the alcohol didn’t allow it.

He stopped, keeping your fingers entwined.

“Do you love me?” He asked. Your heart started to pound, not knowing what to say. You’d been over this just a few hours ago. You weren’t sure how many more times you could answer this question without slipping, without saying too much. “Yes. Yes. A million times yes!” you wanted to say, “More than anything or anyone. More than anyone could ever love someone else in a million lifetimes.”

“You know I do.” You said out loud. He smiled.

“Say it.”

“Say what?” You asked stupidly. Your heart was in your throat, and you were surprised any words were able to come out at all.

“Say that you love me.”

“I love you.” You told him. And though you had said it a thousand times before in a hundred different ways, this time felt different. It felt.. real. He smiled, closing his eyes.

“I love you, too.” He said. And he did. He did, he did. And you knew he did. Fuck the voice in your head telling you you’d imagined it all. All the glances, all the hugs, the kisses on the forehead, the late night talks when you both should be sleeping. You knew all along, you always knew. He was the one who didn’t know. He was the one who told everyone you weren’t interested. He was the one who had no idea.

“Do you love Christian?” He asked. He looked serious, the glint in his eyes dimming ever so slightly. You nodded.

“I do. Or I did, I guess.”

“More than me?” He asked. The moonlight painted his skin light blue, and he looked like a painting. Like a masterpiece, like all of the most beautiful works of art in the world combined.

“Never.” You said. He smiled. You told him again, just to see him smile one more time. “Never.”

“I hate to see you cry for him. It kills me.”

You didn’t know what to say. He had told you all of this already. It was as if the conversation from earlier in the night was being replayed, but this time in an entirely different context. He was repeating all of the same things, as if you had missed something important the first time. It was when you rewatched a movie and noticed all of the tiny details you had missed the first time around.

“I thought you were mad at me. I thought you wanted him, and I was in the way.”

Harry continued when you didn’t respond, laying there dumbfounded and lost in thought. Was this really happening right now? All the fantasies you had played out in your head? All the things you vowed to never say, was it finally coming to light? You were getting ahead of yourself, taking a deep but shaky breath.

“No, Harry.” You responded, carefully choosing your words.

Harry paused for a moment, that same crease as always forming between his brows. He frowned. Your answer wasn’t good enough for him.

“Then tell me you don’t want him.”

The thrumming in your chest intensified. You could feel your heartbeat between your legs. Why did that turn you on like this? The way he demanded it from you, the intensity in his voice...

“Please.” It was gentler now, almost sad. His mouth was still downturned, making you want to kiss the sour expression off of his face.

“I don’t want him. I never did. I want…”

You didn’t finish. Harry scooted closer, dropping your hand and bringing his to your waist. He placed his hand just above your hip, swiftly raising your t-shirt so that his skin made contact with yours.

“Who?”

“...Someone else.” You barely whispered. Harry didn’t push you for more, but you wished he would. You wanted to say it, out loud. You wanted him to force it out of you.

“The way he looked at you. I can’t stand it.” He said. He was whispering now too, and his fingertips began moving along your skin slowly. “But I want you to be happy, so if that’s what you want... I won’t ruin it.” 

Harry hated the words coming out of his mouth as he said them, looking more pained with each syllable.

“I don’t want him, Harry.” You tried to sound stern, wanting to put his mind at ease. If you had to hear him suggest that you had feelings for Christian one more time, you just might explode.

Everything was silent. All there was was Harry’s breathing and your heartbeat like a drum in your ears.

“The things I wanted to do to you..” He whispered. His voice was so quiet you weren’t even sure you’d actually heard it. “When we were playing truth or dare. The way it felt to have you under me like that... I wanted to take you, right there.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. This is it.

Your lips were so close, it was unbearable. You pinched your legs closed to ease the building pressure between them.

“And fucking Hudson... Do you know what you were doing to me?”

A shy smile spread across your face.

“Maybe.”

“I knew it.” He said, a devilish grin on his face. “I knew you did.”

“I wanted to put him to shame, you know. You were really testing me.”

“You-“ you started to say, unsure how to finish. You just stared at him, any and all thought vanished from your head. You pondered what he was insinuating, imagining him going down on you the way Hudson had in your story. Putting Hudson to shame. Good god. How would he do it? Would it be slow? Would he take his time, leaving a trail of kisses on the inside of your thighs before finally...

“This whole night… I didn’t think I was gonna make it, Y/N. The way you looked at Christian, I couldn’t stand watching you cry. You’re so beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You’re like a sunflower.”

“And touching you, finally... I can’t take it anymore.”

His hand gripped your side where it had been dancing on your skin. He took a deep breath.

“Tell me again, that you don’t want him.” He asked. In this moment, just as you had since the moment you met him, you belonged to him. You would bend to his every whim. You would do anything, anything, he asked you to. You were in the palm of his hand, and it felt amazing. You imagined the way he must have been quietly seething at Christian for months now, the way he must have felt to see Christian pick you up and spin you around when you had last seen him. It made sense, the way his muscles tensed just at the mention of his name...

“I don’t want him.” You told him again.

“Then who?”

You were silent. Just say it, you thought. You’ve had enough of all the secrecy and the stolen glances. You brought your hand to his face, Harry almost flinching at your touch.

“Say it.” He whispered.

“You.”

You answered him, finally, after months of keeping it barely beneath the surface. It was like you had been holding your breath and had finally made it above water. Harry smiled, inhaling sharply. His hand pressed into your side again, harder than before. 

“Tell me again.”

“I want you.” You said. Your entire body shook next to his.

“You do, don’t you?” He asked, seeming genuinely giddy at your confession. He giggled, and you giggled too.

“You knew that already, though.” You laughed. It felt good, finally being able to tell him everything. No more secrets.

“I really had no idea. I tried so hard on you, Y/N. And I never have to try hard.”

“You’re lying.” You said.

“No, really.” He insisted. “You must have known how much I wanted you. You had to know.”

You shook your head. This all felt like a fever dream, like any second you would be waking up and things would be back to normal. This couldn’t possibly be real life.

“Will you tell me again, one more time.” He asked. The intensity in his voice had turned to sweetness, like sugar on your tongue. “I want to make sure I’m not imagining it again.”

Again? You wondered how long he had felt this way, if he had ever fantasized about you the way that you did about him. What did he do to you, secretly in his mind, when no one was around...

“I want you, Harry.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Let me kiss you.”

Harry looked at you. He was begging, desperate for the one thing you had fantasized about for months now. You wanted nothing more than to have him take you, to break in your new bed and your new house and not even worry who you woke up. 

And yet...

Your stomach twisted suddenly, unsure what to do. The answer was obvious, staring you in the face. But your thoughts were clearing, and sober you won the battle it had been fighting all night. 

“Harry…” you began, unable to believe yourself even as it was happening.

“Please. Please, I'm begging you.”

“Harry, you’re drunk.” You told him. And it was true. Past the shimmer in his eye you could see the redness still, the hint of liquor still in his gaze.

“I’ll die if I don’t.”

“Harry…”

It was silent. Again. You knew suddenly, deep down, that you needed to stop this before it got too far. Or else he would wake up in the morning and you would never see him again once he realized his mistake. He was wasted, and lonely, and tired. He didn’t mean it, not any of it. Or at least he wouldn’t once the sun came up and the alcohol left his blood.

Harry stayed quiet, hurt slowly making its way across his expression.

“Harry, you’re drunk. And I know you won’t mean any of this in the morning. I just- I can’t lose you like this. You’ll wake up tomorrow and-”

“I’ll wake up and feel just the same as I have this entire time.” He pleaded. His voice cracked, sounding defensive, shattering every bone in your body. You could tell now that this wasn’t just about the kiss. It was more than that. He was spilling his heart out to you and you didn’t believe him. And even though you knew you were right, he was still hurt.

“You said you wanted me. You- You said it.” He continued, pleading. He was trying to control his voice, to force all of the emotion out of it before it met your ears, but you heard it. He was in disbelief. He scooted away from you, just a bit, examining your face.

“Harry, I do. More than anything.”

He gazed at you. Waiting for more.

“But I can’t. You’re drunk and you’re going to wake up tomorrow embarrassed, wishing you’d never said anything. You’re… youre Harry Styles. And I’m.. I’m just me. You don’t want me. You don’t.”

He didn’t say anything. He looked devastated. And you were devastated, too, already wanting to take it all back. How could you have fucked this up so badly? How could you have ruined this for yourself, when you were this close?

Because it was too good to be true. That’s why.

He cleared his throat and rubbed the tip of his nose with a finger. He looked around the empty room like he wasn’t sure what to do next, avoiding meeting your eyes. He covered his face with his hands. He had offered you everything you’d ever wanted a more, and you had thrown it back in his face. You hated yourself fiercely for it.

“Okay.” He said finally. He leaned forward, kissing your forehead. You felt a tear escape from your eye, running across the bridge of your nose. He wiped it silently.

“Don’t cry. I can’t take any more crying tonight.” He said, smiling gently. He was too good. Too understanding, too patient. He was everything you wanted and everything you didn’t deserve.

“We should go to sleep.” He said finally. Your heart was breaking into a million pieces, each lodging its way into your throat and making you choke. He was so gentle, brushing the hair from your face. Everything you ever wanted, right here. He leaned forward, kissing you again, this time on the cheek. He lingered there, his lips burning your skin. You wanted to stay like this forever, his lips against your face and his hands on your body.

“Can I hold you? We’ve slept together before, so you don’t have to worry. It’s not- um, it’s not anything else. If you’re okay with it.” He was trying to be sweet, but you couldn’t ignore the way his voice sounded completely shattered, nothing like the way it was supposed to sound. His cheeks were hot with embarrassment. You nodded. He was right, you had slept together before, taking naps in cars or on couches. But this was different. He knew that, and you did too. But if you had just thrown away every chance you had at him, you could at least give yourself this. You tried to tell yourself it was innocent, the same thing you had done a hundred times before, but you knew it wasn’t. And when Harry woke up wrapped around you tomorrow morning, skin shiny with sleep, body tangled in your sheets, at least you would still have this. Nobody could take that away from you.

You turned your body, allowing him to come up behind you and hold you from behind. He pressed his body against you, his legs tangling with yours. You could feel his chest pressed against your back, his breaths deep but uneven. He sniffled quietly. You felt his dick against you where your bodies met, and it took everything in you not to press yourself further back onto him. You wanted to move your hips against him, feeling him harden against you until you both couldn't take it anymore and he pushed himself inside... 

He brushed the hair away from your neck, exposing your skin. He placed kisses below your ears, down your neck to your shoulders. You couldn’t help the tears flowing now, silently but steadily down your cheeks. Somehow, by some grace, you were able to fall asleep. Asleep in the arms you had longed to hold you for as long as you could remember. Everything you wanted, right here. And you’d thrown it away. You knew this moment would be done forever in a few short hours, and it killed you. But you knew you did the right thing. It was too good to be true. It always had been.

///

You woke up the next morning and instantly regretted opening your eyes. The sunlight was burning into you, making your head pound. Your mind was cloudy and confused, a weight across your abdomen holding you down. 

Harry. 

You turned, careful not to wake him, but wanting to appreciate the way his face looked when he was sleeping. So soft and innocent. His mouth was open, just barely, and his breaths were heavy and slow. You brushed a finger across his parted lips, and down his cheek. He was more beautiful today than he had ever been, you thought.

As always, though, the sleepy bliss began wearing off and was replaced by a pit growing in your stomach. What happened last night? It came to you in pieces, the belly button shot, Hudson… Layla and Max...

Oh my god.

The pit morphed itself into full blown panic as you tried your best to reconstruct the end of the night. What had you said to him? Was he even going to remember?

You told him everything, didn’t you?

No, he did.

“The things I wanted to do to you…” he’d said.

“Do you know what you were doing to me?”

“Say you don’t want him.”

Jesus Christ. This wasn’t real. It all was coming back to you, replaying in your mind.

“I’ll die if I don’t.”

No. This wasn’t happening. Not like this.

And then it really hit you. The way you’d turned him down, the way you had him begging for it. And you said no. What the fuck was wrong with you? You must have lost your mind. How many nights had you stayed awake, begging the universe for this exact thing to happen? And you had let it slip away, that easily.

Harry stirred, his eyes beginning to open slowly. He looked at you, you lying there staring at him, taking in his face with a shaking fingertip. You pulled away and sat up. The sudden movement made your head spin and your stomach turn, and you had to steady yourself so you didn’t throw up. You weren’t even sure if it was the hangover or the realization that was making you sick. You stood, grabbing the discarded pajama pants from last night and pulled them hastily up your legs. Harry stayed where he was, taking it all in. The sleep still lingered in his eyes, but a frown had made its way onto his perfect face. Don’t do this, you thought. Please don’t do this.

Once you were dressed, you weren’t sure what to do next. You just stood there, frozen, contemplating the millions of ways that you could make this right. Should you kiss him right now? Tell him you were wrong, so wrong, and ask him to give you another chance? Did he even remember what had happened the night before? Out of all of these options, you decided to do nothing at all. Instead you just stayed there, glued to your spot on the floor, eyes fixed to your feet.

“Last night was crazy.” Harry said finally, breaking the silence. What a fucking understatement, you thought. You weren’t sure how to respond. You eventually nodded.

“Yeah it was. Im, like, super hungover.”

Fuck. You needed to think of something to say, and fast. Something, anything.

“Yeah, I feel like shit.” Harry groaned, rolling over onto his back. He covered his eyes, shielding himself from the light. His voice was deep and raspy with sleep.

“Me too.” You agreed. The covers had slipped down his torso, exposing his bare chest. The rays of sunlight spilling into the room caressed his skin, and you wanted nothing more than to jump back into bed with him and feel him, to kiss every inch of exposed flesh. He sat up.

“D’you have a shirt I can borrow? I don’t really want to put that one back on, it smells like vodka.”

Why was he acting so normal? Like nothing had happened at all? You nodded, digging through one of your many boxes to find something he could borrow. You found a rumpled old One Direction t-shirt in the bottom, holding it up proudly.

“Does this work?” You asked with a laugh. Still, your voice came out pitiful and uncertain. You felt like you were tiptoeing across a tightrope, trying anything you could not to fall off of the edge. Harry laughed. He was doing that thing again, that thing where he made everything seem okay no matter how fucked up it all had gotten. He seemed so calm, so cool, so… normal.

“Actually, do you have that orange one? The one with all the fireworks?” He asked. His hair was disheveled, sticking up at every angle. He looked adorable.

“You mean my homecoming shirt? From highschool?” You asked. You couldn’t help but laugh this time, a real laugh. You must have misunderstood.

“Yeah. I like that one.”

You dug through the box once again, the neon orange fabric standing out amongst the shades of black and gray. You held the soft fabric, allowing yourself a split second to reminisce on that night so many years ago. The night you had danced with Matthew, and then held Logan in the bathroom when she cried because someone had split their fruit punch on her brand new dress from Forever 21. You never could have dreamt that you’d end up here, waking up next o Harry (fucking) Styles. You tossed it to him and he slipped it over his head. He seemed content, stretching his arms and letting out another yawn.

“You can keep it.” You said without even meaning to. “It looks good on you.”

Harry paused, his eyes narrowing for just a moment as he read your face. The pieces were coming together, you could tell. He let out a small “Thanks” before standing up. He walked past you towards the door, and you were half expecting him to at least stop on his way and wrap you in a hug. To tell you good morning and that you looked beautiful despite your smeared makeup and messy hair. But he didn’t.

He opened the door, gesturing for you to follow him, but you couldn’t. Whatever you needed to say, it needed to happen now. In this room. Before whatever spell you both had cast last night was broken.

“Harry, I’m sorry.” You blurted out. Sorry for what, you weren’t sure. For turning him down? For spending the entire night crying? For embarrassing him after he’d poured his heart out to you.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” He assured you. He smiled, but the expression didn’t meet his eyes. “Everything’s fine.”

You wanted to disagree, to tell him it wasn’t fine and it would never be fine. At least not until he took you, right here and now, the way he had said he wanted to last night. Not until you had kissed him, really kissed him. He didn’t wait for an answer, leaving you and your jumbled mind alone. Everything that had happened in here, everything you both had said... you could still feel it here. But with every soft step you heard echoing as he wandered down the stairs, you could feel that spark slipping further and further away. Until it had vanished completely.

KEEP READING!!

[dracowars]

Hiii can I request an imagine where Draco and the reader are old now and they work together (healers,maybe) but Draco used to bully her and be rude to her during Hogwarts years but she’s like this total badass now and he apologizes to her .

heal me | draco malfoy

pairing: healer!draco x healer!reader

word count: 2,7k

summary: where y/n has to work with the person she hates the most

a/n: paragraphs completely written in italics are flashbacks! i hope you enjoy it <3

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of blood

universe: harry potter

"Don't worry. Tomorrow everything will be fine again", you explain to the younger patient and his parents while taking notes on your clipboard. "Thank you for helping our son", his parents thank you before you get up and leave the room with them, the little boy already much happier than a few minutes ago when his parents brought him here.

At the reception they wave their goodbyes at you and you have a short chat with one of the assistants before you make your way to the laboratory where you have to get new Skele-Gro. Entering the laboratory you immediately go to one of the cupboards in which all kinds of potions and medicines are located and search for the Skele-Gro.

At first you do not even notice that you are not alone in the room and quietly swear to yourself when you just cannot find the medicine. A low chuckle sounds to your right and you flinch in shock, turning around only to see the one person you actually prefer to avoid at all times.

Draco Malfoy.

The son of one of the richest and most influential pure-blood families, the Malfoys, the biggest asshole at Hogwarts back then and now unfortunarely also your colleague at the St.-Mungo-Hospital.

On your first day here you were so happy to finally be able to fulfill your dream and leave your past behind you. You were finally away from Hogwarts, the place where so many terrible things happened and you could finally live a normal wizard's life. At least that is what you thought.

Until the very moment you ran into Draco on your first day. And not as a patient, no. He was also dressed in the green smock with the sewn on crest of a crossed wand and bone. The one boy that made your life at Hogwarts a living hell every single day was also working as a healer now. Just like you.

Rolling your eyes, you turn away from him and continue searching for your potion, ignoring the fact that you have to endure his presence. "Can I somehow help you?", his voice suddenly sounds close to your ear and you let out a startled gasp. "No, thank you. I do not need your help. I can manage this quite well on my own", you hiss at him, giving him a look that could kill. His hands shoot up in the air in defense and he takes a step back. "Okay, okay! No need to snap at me like that", he claims offendedly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nevertheless you notice his gaze on you while you keep searching around in the cupboard and you begin to feel really uncomfortable. Why can't he just leave you alone? You have been working at the hospital together for several months and until now you kept your conversations to a certain extent only if it was related to your work. But otherwise you do not exchange a word with him. Because you do not need or want to.

"What?", you scoff, turning around to face him again, a slick smirk on his lips that makes the blood in your veins boil. "Nothing", he shrugs nonchalantly, keeping his gaze focused on you. "Do you not have anything better to do than annoy me, Malfoy? Do you not need to rescue some lifes?", you confront him, keeping your posture as you give him your most annoyed expression.

"I have my break right now."

"And then you sneak around in the laboratory?"

"Yeah."

"What about you leave me alone and let me do my work?"

"What about no?"

"Merlin, you are annoying the hell out of me right now", you sigh while massaging your temples with your fingertips.

"Sorry that I am alive", he replys with a shake of his head, causing you to stop what you are doing in an instant. Alive.

"You are a shame to Hogwarts, Y/L/N", his evil laugh rings in your ears as he forces you onto the ground, your books all over the cold floor. His goons kick them further through the corridor, destroying most of the books that your family spent so much money on. Quickly you get up on your feet again, your knees shaking in fear.

"Leave me alone!", you furiously yell at them which is why they pause for a moment before starting to laugh out loud. "Why are you even on this school if you are not even able to protect yourself, Y/N? No, wait. Let me put it differently. Why are you even alive?", he giggles and his friends join in, pointing their disgusting fingers at you in amusement.

Tears start pricking in your eyes as they keep laughing at you. Completely alone you just stand there and let them have their fun, your head hanging low. Draco withdraws his wand out of his pocket and points it onto one of your books. "Incendio", he conjures and your beloved book immediately catches on fire.

"You will be sorry for that!"

"Uhm, hello? Y/N? Are you still there?", Draco waves his hand in front of your face and you blink a few times before slapping his hand away angrily. "Get away from me!", you tell him off and bring distance between both of you. With a confused expression on his face, he looks at you as if you have gone completely crazy. "Bad day?", he asks, wanting to seem sorry for you. He did not feel sorry for you. Not now, not then, never.

"I do not have a bad day. I just hate you profoundly and do not want you in my life, Malfoy", you explain with no emotion in your voice and shut the cupboard close loudly, making him flinch. With these last words you leave the room, even though you did not succeed in finding the potion, and slam the door shut behind you. Why are you the one being punished again?

Taking a long deep breath, you look down the empty corridors, straighten your uniform and set off to pursue your job. The one and only thing that can distract you now. Unfortunately, you do not get very far, not even out of the corridor, when you abruptly feel a firm grip on your wrist and get pulled back roughly. "Y/N! Wait-"

"What the hell, Draco?!", you yell and only get angrier when he does not let go of you and you have to free your hand from his grip. "What do you want from me?! Have you not done enough damage already?", you angrily bark at him, but he just sadly looks down at his feet. He lets you shout at him how much you want without uttering a single word. You stand in front of him, angry and breathing heavily. He has never seen you like this before.

For him you always seemed so strong and invulnerable, but now he sees your real self and how much he and his actions broke you. He has been watching you for all these months and how you thrive in your job as a healer. You were so strong and helpful and kind. He made many mistakes back at Hogwarts and he perfectly knows it. But he had enough time to rethink what he has done. The guilt has eaten him up as he never had the opportunity to apologize.

Yes, he did terrible things. He not only bullied a lot of students, but also doomed the headmaster to death and had to join the Death Eaters. Something he never wanted to. Just as he did not want you to hate him this much. He cannot explain why he did what he did when he actually liked you back then and probably still does. He loved how you would always run around with your books, how you would twirl a strand of hair around your finger when you were concentrating in potions or how you would speak up to tell the teachers every answer.

He knows what he did was wrong. But he lacks the words and also the courage to explain it to you. You would not understand him anyway and would loathe him even more.

"We are grown up now, Y/N. Can we not just forget what happened?", Draco pleads, but your reaction immediately makes him realize that he has chosen the absolute wrong words.

"Oh, so that is how it works for you Malfoys, huh? Great, when you are that grown up as you say, then why don't you just act like that and keep your distance from me, you damn asshole!", you scream out loudly and at this point you do not even care anymore if anyone else hears you. This man just makes you so incredibly angry when he thinks everything can be clarified with a few words.

"Listen to me, Y/N", Draco tries again, but you shake your head in disbelief. "You know what? I really thought I could not hate you any more. But I was wrong", you huff, turning around on your heel to finally get rid of him.

"I let you yell at me, why don't you let me explain it?", he desperately reminds you, his eyes basically begging you to give him a chance. "Do you really think that you can ever make amends for what you have do-", you start scolding him again, but get interrupted all of a sudden when you hear a very loud noise. The noise that an emergency patient has just been delivered.

Without wasting time you sprint off and towards the energency room, Draco following closely behind you. You spot how a man is being pushed through the corridor on a lounger in front of you right away and quickly run there to help.

"Oh! Good that you are here, Y/N!"

"What happened?"

"Serious Quidditch accident. He was badly battered by a bludger. Several broken bones and high blood loss."

"Take him to the treatment room immediately!", you command and you bring the injured player there together. Groaning in pain you lift him onto the hospital bed and you do everything possible to put an end to his pain. "Quick! We need some Calming Draught", you state and look around, but only a few seconds after your utterance the potion you asked for is already laid in your hand by no other than Draco, who has apparently thought ahead. You quietly thank him under your breath and give the patient the medicine so that he calms down.

Injuries in the wizarding world are often quick to heal, but there is still a lot of pain associated with them. That is why you do everything to make your patients feel better as fast as possible. "We should stop the bleeding from his wounds", Draco suggests while you are busy pulling out your wand.

"We need Blood-Replenishing Potion", you say at the exact same time as Draco and look at each other a little bit shocked. You turn back to the patient and continue to calm him down. You point the tip of your wand at his torso and cast a spell to to mend his broken bones.

"Brackium Emendo", you mumble and the spell works instantly, taking away most of the patient's pain. Just to be on the safe side, you also use Ferula to spare his newly generated bones while Draco is already holding out the Blood-Replenishing Potion to you. You take it and use it on the man, the other healers at your side to explain the next steps to the poor man.

After you have successfully healed him, you leave the room and let the other healers take care of the rest. Treating an emergency patient is always exciting but scary because you never know what to expect.

And what you also did not expect is that Draco follows you again and stops you by shouting your name. You heavily exhale and collect your thoughts before you turn to face him. "What is it now?", you ask, visibly annoyed.

"You did a really good job back there", he smiles, pointing behind him to the room you just left. Suspiciously, you look at him and raise your eyebrow. Then you sigh, putting your hands on your hips.

"Thanks. You were not bad either", you compliment him which he seems to be quite surprised about because his eyes widen for a moment. He smiles uncertainly to show you his gratitude and then scratches his neck in embarrassment. "So.. About earlier.."

"Draco. I really do not want to hear anything about it anymore."

"Please, Y/N. Just give me this one chance. At least let me explain! Afterwards you can still hate me as much you want to", he persuades you intensely.

"You have five minutes", you finally give in and drag him into an empty corridor to prevent anyone else hearing you. "I am listening."

"I know my behavior was wrong back then and I want to deeply apologize to you for that. It was not okay to destroy your supplies, to make fun of you, or to harm you physically and mentally. I just- I did not know how to deal with my.. feelings and the best way to get rid of those wrong feelings seemed to be to bully you. I have done terrible things, Y/N. And yet this is the reason why I cannot sleep at night. Because I am so sorry for everything and I know that you will never forgive me", he explains to you honestly, in a heartbreaking voice and although you try your best to fight against it, tears brimming into your eyes.

"I was in love with you, Y/N. Well, I still am", Draco suddenly admits and you could swear that - against your will and common sense - your heart just stopped beating for a moment.

Because what Draco does not know is that you actually had feelings for him as well. But that was before he even started any of this, when he was still watching you across the Great Hall and you would catch him staring. From one day to another he destroyed your hopes and suddenly started bullying you. It got worse day by day until your feelings for him turned from love to pure hate.

You loved each other, but one did not know about the other's mutual feeling and vice versa. And so two people hurt each other even though they were in love.

"D-Draco- I don't know what to say", you stutter out and do not dare to look at him, in fear that you will give in immediately.

"You do not have to say anything. Thank you for listening to me. I am sorry", he softly smiles, a comforting and especially real one, and lowers his head in defeat.

"It is really not easy for me either, Draco", you sigh, blinking your tears away. "I am not sure if I can ever forget what you did to me."

Draco nods dejectedly, understanding and accepting your decision. After all, he cannot forgive himself for what he did either.

"But I am ready to forgive you", you add and Draco's head shoots up immediately, locking eyes with you, not sure if he heard you correctly. "As you said: we have grown up and that means we can also learn to forgive", you give him a gentle smile.

A big and thankful smile spreads over his facial features. "I love you so much, Y/N. No- Not like that.. Well actually..", he babbles to himself. You gently put your hand on his shoulder to calm him down a bit, suppressing a giggle.

"Don't worry. I will see you later, alright?", you grin and and pat his shoulder softly.

"Y-Yes! Of course", he answers, not quite sure what to do with himself. He feels such an incredible joy inside of him, but just as strongly he feels fear. The fear that he might screw it up again.

While he is still deep in thought, you walk backwards and away from him. When he notices that you are retreating, he briefly shakes his head to get back to the here and now. "Thank you!", he calls after you, unable to move.

"See you later", you wave before you turn around and disappear into the next corridor, your heart almost jumping out of your chest.

Maybe this is the beginning of something new, of something more. The next chapter in your life.

A restart.

[euphoricimagination]

International Love-Haikyuu x Foreigner reader Pt.9

The score hit 15 by Fukurodani first, so the coach asks for a time-out.  I hand the bottles to the boys while they listen to the coach, who is telling them to keep calm and continue doing what they were doing. When the coach finished Tsumu look at me.

- Since when you and Bokuto are friends? - Says with a jealous tone

- Why are you cheering for him? WE are your team - adds Suna

- I don't think we’re friends yet, I just ask him if he really was in the top 5 and he said he will show me. I wouldn't count a wow as cheering but he's awesome, you can't deny that.

- .... True – Answers Suna

 - I will always cheer for you, you should know that. I have never seen him play that's why I'm a bit more amazed now.

- Fine. I'll trust you. Let's win this guys.

They go back to the court all fire up, ready to fight back. I can tell that Fukurodani noticed their energy, but they seem to get even more energized instead of intimidated, specially Bokuto. The match continues to be really close, neither team being able to break for more than 2 points. Both teams were giving their absolutely best.

It's was already late in the afternoon. The teams played 7 sets, Fukurodani winning 4 while Inarizaki 3. Both teams were exhausted after so many intense matches, half of them on the floor trying to gain their breath. The coaches tell them to stretch while we give them water bottles and towels.

- This were some good matches. Both teams were on fire - says the Fukurodani coach to ours.

- I couldn't agree more. It's hard to find teams to have a good practice.

- Completely true. I’m glad we came here.

- It’s sad that you have to go so fast – I say unconsciously when I was back at the bench, more to myself than anyone else.

- I’m sorry?

- what? Oh, I just think it’s sad that you travel this far for just a day of practice. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good practice, but you know… - I feel my cheeks starting to get red

- hahaha I get you. It’ss a rare opportunity to practice against an extremely strong opponent. Will it be hard to find a hotel now? If we find one, we can probably stay for tomorrow too – says the Fukurodani coach

- We are staying on a house near here, it’s quite big I’m sure we can fit the boys and their managers – says our coach

- We can sleep with Yn! - says Yuki

- That should be more than enough, let’s tell the guys.

- Wait, what? – I say, not expecting that my comment was going to get this far.

- Everyone come here! – calls our coach, both teams coming right after – so, we were talking with the coach and the managers, all of us agreed that this is the best we have seen you play so far. So Fukurodani, you guys are okay with spending another day here?

- We can? I thought that it was only for today - says Akaashi looking at his coach

- We thought too, but like Yn here told us, it would be a waste travelling so far for just a day of practice. So, you guys agree?

- If the coach thinks it’s okay, I don’t see why not. It was a good practice, Bokuto-san did better than normal.

- Okay, then go to the house and clean yourself up. Girls, can you prepare dinner in the meantime? - says the coach

- Sure thing! – says Kaori

...

We leave the gym in different groups. The teams forget about their rivalry and talk to each other like they knew were old friends. I go to Suna and the twins, we haven't been able to talk a lot today due to all the sets. I go behind Samu, who was the closer to me, and back hug him. He tenses up a little, but relaxes when he notices it was me.

- Hi chibi-chan - at that, the other two boys look back

- You guys did really good today

- But we lost anyway - says Tsumu with a pout on his face

- You can't always win Tsumu - I say going to him, he instantly opens his arms for me to give him a hug, which I do – Besides it was a good practice. You won 3 sets against a top 5 ace, isn't that good?

- But still, I wanted to win

- Well now you have an extra day to do that. You were close today - I say while untangle myself from his arms.

- By the way, how come you convinced their coach to do that? And why? - Asks Suna right before taking my arm to give me a quick hug. He really must be tired considering he usually don't initiate skinship.

- What the coach said was literally how it happened, I just said that it was sad them travelling from so far for a day.

- Sad them travelling or sad that Bokuto had to go? - Samu said, small smirk on his face knowing that his twin would react.

- About the travel?? I’m not ...

- Yn! Wait! – what a great timing Bokuto - I'm so happy we get to spend another day here! Thank you for convincing the coach - with that he grabs me and gives me a hug, my face going straight into his chest, moving his body side to side from excitement.

- Bokuto-san, let her go, you’re sweaty – Akaashi appears.

- But she's cute! And she said that it was okay earlier! - says Bokuto letting go of me at the same time. He ruffles my hair playfully.

- That doesn't give you the right to just hug her though - Adds Akaashi, before Bokuto could say anything I hear a scuff while a hand throws me back.

- Hell yeah! Don't touch our friend. What do you even want from her? - says Tsumu, squinting his eyes. I look to Suna and Samu for all explanation or something, but they look just as confuse by the actions.

- I just want to be her friend, she's nice.

- Well, you can't. I won't let you - says Tsumu

- Excuse me? who are you to decide with who I can or cannot be friends with?

- That's not the point.

- Then what is the point? Stop being so childish, I can be friends with them and I will if I want to. Nobody gets to decide that apart from me. Got it?

- Agh forget it. Stay with your new besties or whatever, you didn't want them to leave after all. Maybe you can convince their coach to take you with them since you're so comfortable with him.

- OK now you are just being ridiculous Tsumu - Says Suna - Out of everyone here you shouldn't be the one saying anything. You were basically the same when she arrived to school.

- Yeah, stop being insecure and let her have friends outside of us - Adds Samu, hitting his twin head – Now let’s go. Chibi-chan has more important things to do than deal with your insecurities right now.

Samu pushes Tsumu to the other way, forcing him to walk to the house. Tsumu is clearly not happy by this.

- I don't know what's gotten into him, but let us talk to the idiot first - Suna says ruffling my hair. He bows a little to Akaashi and Bokuto before going to the twins.

- Sorry for that. I'm not sure what happened - I say while looking at the two boys, who were clearly uncomfortable by the situation.

- It's fine. Not really something you could control– says Akaashi, looking subtly at Bokuto – You are related to them or...?

- No, but the twins treat me as their lost twin or whatever. Don't mind them, while I love them, I'm not going to let him tell me what to do.

- That's good, I'm sure he cares for you a lot, but that isn't an excuse – Akaashi says while opening the door of the house.

- Soo...we can be friends then? - asks Bokuto, hope in his eyes

- Sure, you look nice. Go and take a shower, I will go with the girls to make dinner.

- YAY! Let's go Akaashi!

Akaashi gives me a little nod while following Bokuto. I shake my head at the weirdness of the whole thing and go to the kitchen. The girls were already there cutting some veggies, I say a little sorry for being late and start helping them. While cooking we talk a lot, from our teams to our favorite season. After a lot of hours with men, it surely felt nice having other girls with me. About 2 hours later the food is ready, so we go to look for our teams.

-Guys, food is ready, let's go!

The door opens and the guys start to go out. I walk with Kita and Aran, who are talking about some movie that the latter watch. While going down the stairs Aran and I start a little discussion about how good the movie was, and we say to Kita that he should definitely watch it.

We enter to the cafeteria and the guys tell me that they are going to sit with some of the second years of Fukurodani, offering me to join them. Before I could answer a voice call me.

- Ynnn! Sit with us! – I look at the table where Bokuto is waving his hand. I just laugh and look at the two boys that were with me, a silent understanding between the three of us. I go to their table and sit next to Akaashi, who handles me a plate with a little smile.

- Since we are friends now, we should get to know each other more, don't you think?

- Yeah, sounds nice. I'm not a good talker though. Sorry

- Don't worry! I got this.

With that he starts telling me about how he and Akaashi met, with Akaashi adding or correcting some details. A few minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look back to see Tsumu with a sad look on his face, Samu and Suna behind him, arms crossed and bored expressions.

- Need something Atsumu?

- I'm sorry for reacting that way, Chibi. I... I got insecure and thought that you would leave us for them. Which was dumb, because I know that you will always be our friend. I'm sorry.

- It's fine. Don't do it again though - I say rolling my eyes - I'm not the only one who deserves an apology, you know? –

- I know - Tsumu now looks at Bokuto und Akaashi - Sorry for treating you like that, Bokuto-san, I shouldn't have reacted that way towards you either. Sorry for making the situation awkward, Akaashi-san.

- It's fine dude! Let's forget it! – exclaims Bokuto

- Good, can we sit and eat now? I’m starving - Says Samu, who just sits on the table on one side of Bokuto.

- Please, making this idiot understand may be more exhausting than volleyball - says Suna while sitting next to me, dropping his head on my shoulder. I rub his hair a little knowing how tired he has to be.

- Hey! It wasn't that bad - Tsumu fights back sitting on the other side of Bokuto

- What even made you insecure Tsumu? You know that I wouldn't just leave you guys - I say putting some rice into my plate and Suna's, whose head was still on my shoulder.

- I don't want to-

- He didn't have frie-

- Samu! Shut up!

The twins started to fight with each other, everything coming back to normal. Bokuto and Akaashi were curious about my country, so I started talking about it with the boys adding their perspective about it. At some point of the meal Atsumu, Suna and Bokuto started talking about volleyball, while Akaashi, Samu and I where talking about some books and movies. By the end of the meal, nobody remembered what had happened.

We go back to our respective rooms after dinner, the two teams sharing the first floor while the managers have the second. Before anything else, the girls and I go to take a bath together.

-You had the whole floor for yourself? Wasn’t it scary? – ask me Kaori

- Yeah, it was a little scary, but it was better than any of the boys watching me.

- Talking about the boys…How do you do it? How are you soo relaxed when there are so many handsome dudes? – Yuki asks

- I could ask you the same, probably our answers are similar. Because let’s not lie here, your team is handsome too. Akaashi has to be the prettiest player I have seen.

- You’ve got a point there. Wait Akaashi? You like him?

- Me saying someone is handsome doesn’t mean I’m going to date them. Like, I think Tsumu and Samu are hot. Would I date them? No at all.

- Yeah, we definitely think the same about our teams.

After that talk we go to the room and put on our pajamas. The girls go straight into bed, tired. I lay on my futon, my body was tired aswell, but for some reason I couldn’t sleep. I decided to go outside to breath some fresh air, hoping it would help.

-Why aren’t you sleeping? Weren’t you tired?

- I could ask you the same, chibi-chan

~~~~

Part 8 - Part 10

Cursive words/sentences are in Japanese

Bold words/sentences are in English

[hisunya]

floch x his future s/o “my precious human.” an au, inspired by my headcanon & @bakachanx3 ‘s and @itwasreloading idea!

disclaimer; the au is written from the pov of they/them pronouns user. if yours are different, just think of yours while reading!

Floch wasn’t the type to be interested in anyone, especially during the mission. He was too focused on his own to care about others. This time was different. When he saw a person falling from the tree, he couldn’t care but run with his ODM gear. Floch wasn’t really thinking about the reason their equipment broke, but he knew that leaving it to themself is just a selfish move. So Floch left his formation, trying best to catch them. He fastly used his ODM gear, opening arms toward the person. They simply accepted his gesture, binding their arms on his neck.

They were almost home, it was a good thing. Floch tried to put her down on the ground slowly, to not cause any harm. He never actually saw them before, or maybe they just never catched his eyes. They were looking pretty, even he noticed that.

“Thank you… I mean, really thank you.” they said, after a few seconds of silence. Floch didn’t actually think of getting a credit for his action.

“Well, no hard feelings.” Floch answered, taking them from him. He just started to fix his ODM gear, ready to get back to formation.

Surprisingly, the person he just saved started to walk next to him, smiling brightly and thankfully. It was such a surprise, but Floch tried his best to not show his happiness toward it. He wasn’t the type of person to get easily excited outside, but inside of him he just got really happy. At first he was even ready to start a conversation, but finally decided to keep himself shut.

“Is there any way I could reward you your help?” they asked, breaking the minutes of silence. They were already high with ODM gear, but Floch heard them really good.

“I didn’t do anything to be rewarded.” he answered, keeping his face away from them.

“Still, you did great!” they shouted, but Floch left them behind.

For real he got really happy and felt appreciated. But he was the type to avoid someone praising him. Floch didn’t know why, he just felt embarrassed, so he left them behind. Those words were repeating in his head anyway. After they got back, it was dinner time. Or in other words, the worst time of Floch’s day. He was always sitting alone, and he never had a regular place to sit. Everyone had their group of friends, but he had none. That wasn’t messing him that much, but when he had a moment to think about his life, it was making him sad.

He entered as one of the last people around, stressfully looking for a free table to eat on. He found one, so he just sat with his dinner. Floch was thinking about the situation he just had before, glancing to see that person around. But he didn’t see them anywhere, he got pretty nervous. Not like he cared that much, but if they die anyway, him losing his time to save them was a pointless waste. Floch didn’t have a thing to think of anyway. Everyone was talking with someone, conversating about the mission they just had. But Floch didn’t have a soul to talk with, which was generally pretty sad.

Again, surprisingly, he felt someone sitting next to him, which made him realise who it was pretty fast. It was the person he saved before, smiling the same way, just sitting right next to him. Though, it was the first time someone ever sat with him at dinner, like intentionally.

“I noticed you’re sitting here alone. You didn’t deserve it, though.” they said, slowly blowing on their hot food.

“How can you know what I deserved? I mean, I just saved you. Probably anyone would do the same.” Floch answered, trying to hide his joy, he received within those words.

“I just know you are a good person. And sitting alone like a fool? Definitely not deserved.” they explained themself.

“Well, having no friend is a benefit sometimes. You probably have your group to sit with, why are you wasting your time with me?” Floch asked, trying to look carefree.

“Because you’re the one that saved me. My name is Y/N. What’s your?” they made a move first, trying to make friends with Floch.

Afterall it wasn’t that hard to gain some trust from him. Floch got pretty excited, just thinking about gaining a friend made him happy. But after a minute, he realised it may be just temporary. Maybe they just wanted to sit with him to reward his help? Tomorrow won’t be that happy. Y/N won’t be that devoted to him.

“Floch. Floch Forster.” he answered with a visible smirk on his face. They smiled back, but it was it for their conversation today.

Floch slowly opened the doors to the dining hall sleepily, getting everyone to know he didn’t sleep well last night. He did get some sleep, but it wasn’t enough to be energized for the day. Floch obviously spent some time wondering about Y/N he met yesterday. Actually they were on his mind for a long time, which made him sleep less. He knew that today he isn’t going to sit with them. It was just one time thing, of course he knew. But for some reason he was still kind of hyped by this situation. Like, he was thinking maybe they will sit with him? But at the same time he was almost sure he was expecting too much. Today he had to sit with some freshman soldiers, which were transported here a couple days ago. Even they had their group of friends. Floch had none, which made him sit next to them. He didn’t say anything, just started eating like he used to do every time sitting with unknowns. They were surprised at first, but then they decided to ignore Floch. Well, he wasn’t interested in making friends with them anyway, so the way the event turned was satisfying.

Then, he felt a warm heat on his shoulders, which made him fastly turn around. He saw them. The person he saved, looking at him with a smile on his face. He was really surprised, and also kind of amazed, but maybe not in the right way, because physical touch wasn’t something he experienced much.The warmth of their hands made him probably red on his face, because it was so unexpected. They sat next to him, placing their dinner on the table.

“Can I stay?” they asked, with a smirk on their face. “Are those your friends? I thought you’re sitting alone, that’s why I got here.” they added, looking at him.

“No, I sat on the first plate I noticed free. You really aren't going back to your friends?” Floch questioned, looking at them.

“You are my friend, aren’t you?” they smiled, leaving Floch with noticeable blush on his face. He didn’t really expect that answer. But it obviously wasn’t making him mad, or whatever. Forster was happy, because he finally gained a friend.

“I mean, if you think so. I’m not really a friendly type of person.” he tried to hide his excitement. Floch was like this always. He didn’t like it when people felt satisfaction, because of him. So he tries to act careless, which is not always working out.

“I think there is no problem with this. I mean everyone deserves a friend, they can always rely on. And you deserve it really much. I see a big problem with you sitting here alone.” they said, with a haughty voice. It sounded like something very important and serious.

“You can chill with no worries, I’m doing fine.” Floch cutted it off, maybe from some kind of excitement he got, when they were complimenting him that much. He wasn't a big attention seeker.

Or maybe he was, but it was deep inside him. Floch was actually scared to show how much attention he is interested in getting. He thought that showing this side of him will discourage people from him. Everyone that cared at least a bit took a big part of Floch’s heart. He was thankful to all people that even sometimes, showed some interest.

“I have a gift for you, or maybe just a return to your help yesterday.” they changed the topic, with a smirk on their face. Floch got really, really surprised. He absolutely didn’t expect anything, not even a thanks.

“Thank you, I mean… I didn’t save you to receive any gift or anything. I just think it’s a common thing to do. I saw you in trouble, so I had to help you get out of it.” he smiled, finishing his food. He should probably leave now, but he stayed. Stayed to talk with Y/N.

“Not everyone is so kind-hearted like you. Some people wouldn’t care to catch me, but you did. You deserve a solid thank you.” they explained themself, smiling. They were still eating their food, not like Floch who was already finished.

“It's impossible to call me a kind hearted person. I’ll probably do bad things in future, in particular to save people I love.” he said, making the situation seem more serious. Y/N got pretty interested in his words, but decided to not scrumb the topic. Probably it’s something deeper, so their question may trigger him.

“Well, we’re in scouts afterall. Each of us did bad things, but it does not ease you to be a good person. You are a good person to people you like. I can’t call you a bad person after things you did to me.” their explanations did well to impress Floch. He immediately started to discuss this topic in his head. Y/N seemed to be very intelligent and also not really straightforward. Talking to them made him feel really well.

“You have a point, but for me overall I’m not a good person. But thank you, anyway. You are such a good person, I mean… to me. Precious human, I’d say.” he confessed, leaning his head down due to embarrassment.

It was the first time he ever complimented someone like that. Those words were really big to him, and meant so much. Floch ever wouldn’t call someone like this, but it was an immediate thought. He just realised it is the right person to compliment deep from his heart. Not lie, be manipulative or whatever. Just be a good person. As they said.

Floch was already half-asleep, exactly the moment when he heard loud knocking on his doors. He was really surprised, but also annoyed at first. Who was interrupting his time, when he is supposed to rest? He somehow managed to put himself up again, only with his boxers, also. Floch wasn't aware of the way, the knocking person was Y/N. When he opened the door, the first thing he saw was a big plate, holded by Y/N. It was his favourite meal… Though, he couldn’t eat it for years. That’s because he left his mother's side to join the Survey Corps.

“Don’t ask me how I know, but isn’t it your favourite food?” they asked with a smirk on their face. Floch couldn’t help but just stand here with a confused face.

“How did you… Thank you.” he replied, without useless words. He was really happy but also surprised. Y/N was so dearly to him right now.

“That is an official thanks for your help that day. I finally did something to return your great action.” they explained themself, smiling.

“That was a while ago. Why are you still concerned?” Floch asked, opening the doors further, to make Y/N enter.

They sat down on the floor, because the table wasn’t big enough. But they didn’t mind. Y/N was slowly imposing the food. Floch was just looking, trying to hide his happiness.

“But for me it was a big thing. And I know you aren’t going to approve it anyway. You are just the type to keep yourself away from the merit.” it was surprisingly correct. Floch in fact was exactly like they explained.

“You are my precious human, so I will worry forever.” they said like it’s nothing smiling.

And that was the answer he wanted to hear.

[lizbotw]

Karasuno popsicle eating competition? 👀👀👀 (i saw you were bored so-)

Karasuno Popsicle Eating Competition

choco omg i loved this concept even though i was definitely not expecting it in the middle of fall, but also, i absolutely get. i spent all night thinking about this so thank you, you successfully cured my boredom, and now here it is, i finally wrote out all of my ideas. please enjoy because i had way too many thoughts about this ♡

Karasuno

100% Nishinoya’s idea.

What? He literally adores Garigari-kun popsicles. A proper popsicle enthusiast and therefore of course it would be none other than him that would come up with such a plan.

You would probably be walking home with the second-years after practice after a quick stop into Coach Ukai’s store to pick up snacks on the way.

Classic meat buns and crinkly packs of chips that always felt like they contained more air than well... chips—that’s what most of you had gotten. But Nishinoya? It was him and his trusty popsicle (soda flavored of course).

You had to stop too many times to keep track of because he kept devouring them before you could even blink and somehow the lucky bastard kept getting the ones with the sticks that qualify you to get another popsicle for free. You best believe he was cashing those in instantly.

You bumped Tanaka with your shoulder to get his attention, not taking your eyes off of the back of Noya as he disappeared up the hill and back to the store. “Why doesn’t he just buy a whole box of them at this point?”

“Mmm,” Tanaka hummed in agreement, hand deep in his bag of potato chips. He stuffed a few more in his mouth, crunching in thought. “Good point.”

Noya was never gone more than a few seconds and you didn’t even get the chance to reply before he came barreling down the hill, blue wrapper in his hand—prize secured it seemed.

The group didn’t resume walking just yet, waiting to see if finally Noya’s reign of exploiting Ukai’s store for free frozen treats would come to an end. (You were hoping the stick at the center of the popsicle would turn out to be blank, not have another cheesy message about how “You won an extra popsicle! Take this stick to any participating retailer to cash it in.”)

“Aren’t you tired of running back and forth?” That was Ennoshita, chewing on his meat bun and looking like he very much wanted to go home.

Noya pulled the popsicle out of his mouth to reply, tongue already stained blue. “Nope! It’s good cardio, plus I get a reward at the end!” As if to prove his point, Noya punctuated the end of his sentence by shoving the popsicle back into his mouth. It wouldn’t be long until he reached the stick and you guys would (potentially) have to wait another five minutes for him to repeat the process all over again.

“It makes sense to buy more than one though. We’re never going to get home at this rate,” Ennoshita grumbled. He was clearly too tired to be dealing with this or he would have dragged Noya away from the store by his ear a long time ago.

Before Noya could bring up the benefits of running up and down a hill in the middle of the night (on a school night nonetheless) again, Tanaka cut in. “Yeah, why don’t you buy an extra one for me, dude. Then we’ll match!”

It was like a switch was flipped and Noya’s eyes lit up, widening. “Dude, great idea!”

“Right? It was (Y/N)’s idea actually.”

“Tanaka, that was not what I said.” You were quick to defend yourself, casting a nervous side glance at Ennoshita who was already glaring daggers at you.

“Either way, I still think it’s a good idea. I’ll be right back-”

“Oh no you don’t.” Ennoshita grabbed a hold of the back of Noya’s shirt to prevent him from running off (he’d already gotten in position to run up the hill—getting two steps in before he’d been stopped—and if Ennoshita had been a second slower Noya would have gotten away completely).

“Even if you did get one for Ryuu, I don’t know if it’d be very fair,” Narita cut in. Clearly he was just being nice and thinking about everyone, but words had a tendency to get twisted when it came to matters like this, especially when the other second-years were involved.

“Yeah, what are the rest of us, Yuu? Chopped liver?” Kinnoshita finished off his meat bun and crumpled the empty napkin he’d been holding it with into a small ball in his hand to throw away later. He was smirking mischievously and you could tell he wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of free popsicles.

“True. You really should be offering to get all of us one.” Of course Ennoshita was the one to deliver the final blow. The trio could be real menances when they wanted to be and judging by the look they all shared, they were clearly enjoying poking fun at Noya.

And of course Nishonya took their words seriously, a thoughtful expression taking over his features. Sarcasm? Not detachable when it came to popsicles. “You’re right.” Uh oh… Nishinoya having that faraway look in his eyes was never a good sign. “And if I get it for all of you then… I should just get for the entire team!” His voice increased in volume as he spoke until he had the sudden epiphany at the end that he shouted. Energized by the thought, he made to go run towards the store again but seemed to forget the vice grip Ennoshita still had on him.

Nishinoya struggling against the hold and Ennoshita trying to pull him back so you guys could finally go home and work on your excessive amount of homework quickly turned into a yelling match. You should have known it would turn out this way...

It looked like things were about to get messy, so you decided to intervene, speaking hurriedly before someone lost a limb in the scuffle. “I think it’s a good idea. Let’s just all go ask Ukai now if we can have popsicles tomorrow for practice and then we can go home.” You said the last part looking pointedly at Ennoshita—listen, you were also tired so you knew exactly how to get through to him. How Noya could keep going like this after a full day was beyond you.

There were a few more moments of grumbling and arguing but eventually everyone caved and agreed. And thus you six made the trek back up the small incline to the store perched off to the side. (“No, Nishinoya, we can’t ask him to bring only soda flavored ones. Where is the variety?”)

The jingle of the bell had Ukai looking up from the magazine he was reading and he fixed all of you with an exasperated stare. “You six again? Don’t you have homework or something?”

It didn’t take much convincing to get him on board and he waved a dismissive hand, leaning back in his chair, cigarette between his lips, and opening back up his magazine. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get home already. I don’t want to be responsible for you getting back so late.”

He for sure delivered on his promise because the next day at practice you found a cooler hidden away in the storage closet in the gym. About an hour into a grueling practice session, he called for a break and revealed the surprise (thank god because Nishinoya had been buzzing with anticipation all day, almost spilling the secret several times, and you were sick and tired of it, please send help).

To say the team was excited was an understatement. The sweltering heat of the gym wasn’t exactly ideal and everyone was dying to go out into the summer sun—at least in the outdoors you had the chance of a light breeze whispering across your neck and relieving some of the suffocating tension of the weather.

Moving everything outside, you helped set up the cooler in the nearby school field.

Takeda was surprised that Ukai even considered doing something like this out of the blue and you overheard Ukai admit that he had been working the team pretty hard for the past few days and that they deserved a break.

The atmosphere was relaxed as some of the team members took up residence on the grassy field, sitting among the bright green and running their hands over the cushiony ground as they got situated.

Leave up to Nishoinya to completely ruin that.

Parking himself right in front of the cooler near the top of the hill and thus preventing anyone from gaining access to the mouthwatering treats inside, he declared, hands on his hips for emphasis, “We should make this a competition!”

Daichi was not having it. “Nishinoya, get down from there, we are not-”

“Challenge accepted!” Hinata and Kageyama were already glaring at each other, determination written all over their faces. (You’re pretty sure either Tanaka or Nishinoya told him some lie before about how eating an ungodly amount of popsicles would make him better at volleyball.) At this point, they were simply waiting for Nishinoya’s signal to begin.

“Now that’s the spirit! Let’s start!” And with that Noya stepped away from the cooler with a dramatic sweep of his arm, bowing low. That’s all the confirmation Hinata and Kageyama needed before they made a beeline for the cooler—you should make sure not to get in their way during this part because they are taking this very seriously.

Tsukishima would just scoff at their childishness, telling them to hurry up and move because they’re hogging all the space.

Tsukishima would not participate in “stupid competitions” of any kind, although he would take a popsicle (begruidngly so after Yamaguchi kept pestering him to do so; secretly he really wanted one though).

You could probably find Tsukishima sitting on the gym steps, rolling his eyes at Hinata and Kageyama. He was also the perfect distance away to throw snide comments at them without risking his safety. Just adding fuel to the flames from the sidelines—that was his role.

Yamaguchi would be perched faithfully next to him eating his own popsicle and Yachi would be leaning up against the side of the gym building since there was no more space left on the steps, talking with him. She kept getting over excited or focusing too much on the conversation though, so the sticky juice of her melting popsicle would be trickling down her arm before you could warn her.

She gets very embarrassed over the whole thing once you point it out and then when she’s busy flailing her arms in apology, that just gets the juice everywhere and then she feels even worse about it, and it’s a whole cycle from there.

If you wanted to join the trio, Tsukishima would not be willing to give up his spot on the steps, but if you kept bothering him about it, he’ll probably give in eventually to get you to shut up or you could take your chances trying to shove him over.

Yamaguchi would take pity on you and squeeze over a bit so you would have room, even though he barely had any space for himself.

Or honestly just go stand next to Yachi, she would be more than happy to have someone else to talk to. The only thing is you have to keep an eye on her melting popsicle or else the above scenario will probably happen except you’ll be right next to her when it does. I sure hope you didn’t wear your favorite shirt today.

Kiyoko is the unofficial referee for the competition.

She was appointed after a unanimous vote was taken between Tanaka and Nishinoya—yes, only those two got a say in it—and technically she would be the official referee if not for the fact that the official default for Karasuno is always pure chaos. Rules? There were no rules. Was this even a competition anymore? Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Does no one have any ideas for a prize for the winner? Why is Asahi on the floor?

Speaking of Asahi, he’s in charge of giving out the popsicles and supervising them in the cooler.

Noya tried to get him to join in on the real action of competing, but Suga and Daichi were absolutely against it because Asahi just looks like he would win. To them, that was automatically cheating (poor Ashai).

Kiyoko helps him out because she doesn’t have much of a job if the boys are doing whatever the hell they want anyway.

Please go hang out with those two at the cooler. You’ll have direct access to all of the popsicles (you now hold all the power) and you can actually relax and have a calm conversation—perfect for some lounging around in the sun. And if you did want to witness the chaos of the competition? Well you also have a front row seat to that. It’s a win-win situation honestly.

Nishinoya and Tanaka were, of course, a part of the competition with Hinata and Kagayama. Now the debate of whether the challenge was to eat as many popsicles as possible or to just eat a certain amount as fast as possible was up in the air because by God, they were doing both. That couldn’t be healthy.

Daichi originally started off just watching from the sides, shaking his head in disapproval and barking reminders at them to slow down lest they choke while on his watch.

Suga was next to him of course, eating his own popsicle and telling him not to be such a stick in the mud. He was enjoying this a little too much and honestly was already hatching a mischievous plan to join in on the chaos himself. Definitely cheers for everyone in order to rile up the situation further and then elbows Daichi in the gut when he tells him to stop encouraging them.

On one such occasion, as he rubbed at the sore spot on his side that Suga kept hitting, Daichi narrowed his eyes at the popsicle in his friend’s hand, taking special notice of it now. “Suga… what flavor is that?”

“Cherry. Why?” He continued eating innocently, although he had an inkling of where this was going to go.

“Didn’t you have two cherry ones already?”

“...maybe.”

There was a gasp of betrayal. “You know those are my favorite! You’re trying to eat all of them before me aren’t you!”

The bold accusation leads to them sharing a look and a tense beat of silence passing before they both sprint to the cooler, digging among the other flavors for the highly coveted cherry.

“It’s mine!”

“No, you have to learn to share!”

They inadvertently end up in the competition through this alone, grabbing as many cherry popsicles as they can and piling their arms high.

You have to remind them that the popsicles are going to melt if they keep that up and then there will really be none left, which then sends them into a new flurry of ripping open the packages and chomping down on the glistening red treat inside.

If you join in on the competition, I hope you have a big appetite because everyone involved is not slowing down anytime soon. They’ve doubled over due to brain freeze a few times already but that doesn’t seem to be stopping any of them. If you chicken out at some point, you will be socially outcasted. You have been warned.

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita are actually being normal and sitting a bit away on the grass, eating their popsicles at a normal rate (not scarfing them down like some people) and actually enjoying themselves.

Ideal group to join—lots of space to sit near them and stretch out on the field, good view of the uh… “competition” (can it really even be still considered that? what do you call the absolute chaos that’s going on there? honestly, why is no one stopping them? where are you, coach? isn’t this your job?) but still a safe distance away from the chaos, and lots of things to discuss. That’s right, these three know all the drama going on in school so sit back, eavesdrop on the gossip, and enjoy. You may or may not choke on your popsicles a few times because how do they even know these things.

Lean back on the grass and bask in the sunlight with these three—the good vibes are there. You’ll probably all end up laying down in the grass after you finish eating and just talking, poking fun at each other and rolling around in the grass in laughter at the latest antic or joke you’ve come up with.

Coach Ukai probably should have thought this over a bit more because it’s hard to get anyone back to practice after having this small taste of freedom (also tensions are still high after the competition so no one wants to work with each other anyway—let’s hope the grudges don’t last long), so he basically gives up for the day and dismisses “practice” early (it had already spiraled way past that at this point so the term was used loosely).

Everyone who was involved in the competition either never wants to hear the word popsicle ever again or they’re feral for more once the cooler is empty (Nishinoya).

Who would’ve thought a normal walk home would turn out like this?

[harryspet]

a long way down [3] b.barnes & s.rogers

[Warnings] dark bucky barnes x reader, dark steve rogers, violence, death, heavy angst, the walking dead au, slice of life, domestic steve, vaginal sex (wear protection, please)

A/N: I love how this was supposed to be a one-shot and now I’m finding all the ways to make this series longer and add more drama. 

ADULT AND TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD

In which your world is shaken again and you’re forced to run back to your first safe haven. 

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist

T H E  N E X T  S P R I N G 

“She recognizes you,” You said, watching Peter’s eyes widen as the baby smiled up at him. It was currently tummy time in the living room and the two of you laid beside her, watching her explore her environment, “That’s Uncle Peter, right Margot?”

You watched her little fingers wrap around her little toys as she proceeded to put them in her mouth to taste them. Six whole months had passed since she was welcomed to this scary world and she’d already grown so much, “It’s me, Margot. It’s me,” Peter spoke in a cute voice and the baby proceeded to babble something incoherent, “Bet you I can get her to say Peter before she says Mama.”

You rolled your eyes at that as you continued to watch her, “You will be saying Mama first, missy,” You told her though she was only focused on a bright orange ring toy. You could look at her little face for hours on hours. You hadn’t felt true love until you laid eyes on her. 

The long journey it took you to get here only made you love her more. You were lucky that she didn’t come too early. God forbid you needed a c-section or she was facing the wrong way. You wanted her to survive and that’s all you hoped and prayed for. When you lost too much blood and began to pass out, you were still happy knowing she’d be okay. 

You didn’t think you would make it. Sharon did her best to give you the best care she could but modern medicine wasn’t available to you. You were sick and on bed rest for the first two months she was alive so now you were enjoying the time when you could move around with her. During the time you were unconscious, Steve had made the considerate decision to name the baby Margaret after some long lost love. 

Margaret Rogers. 

You refused to call her that and decided on a nickname of your own choosing.

“C’mere, Margot,” You sat up, lifting the baby into your lap, “Let me show you something cool, Peter.” 

Peter sat up too, his eyes confused as you removed one of her little socks. She was still happily waving around the toy as you ran a finger down the sole of her foot. Her little toes spread out like a little fan, “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Peter declared and you giggled. 

“It’s called the Babinski reflex. It might go away as early as twelve months so I’m going to savor the cuteness,” You encouraged Peter to try it too and the boy seemed to swoon over Margot. You moved the baby into his lap, continuing to tell him about all the little milestones that Margot was passing. 

“She’s like a sponge, it’s amazing,” Peter said, bouncing the little girl in his lap, “Do you get any sleep?”

You nodded, “I’m up by five every morning but I’m used to it now. If she wakes up while I’m sleeping, Steve takes care of her. Luckily, she’s sleeping through the night.”

“Such a sweet girl,” Peter cooed, “I’m sure you’d never cause Mommy any problems.” You were lucky that Margot’s temperament was easy. She got frustrated like all other babies but she wasn’t very sensitive. You thought it meant she’d do well in a world like this. 

The two of you spent more time with Margot but your peace and serenity was interrupted when both Steve and Bucky returned home. You always got the feeling that they disliked Peter being around but that never stopped you from being friends with him. Peter probably cared more for you then both of them combined. 

“It’s getting late, son,” You heard Steve say, his deep voice trying to be as authoritarian as it could. Steve scared Peter, you could tell that much. 

“I’ll go then,” Peter rushed out, handing the little girl back to you. Margot seemed a bit upset at his absence and you held her to you in order to keep her calm. You knew it was useless to argue about this with Steve and you doubted Bucky would have your back. 

You stood up from your place on her baby blanket, using Margot’s hand to wave goodbye, “Say bye-bye, Peter,” The little girl only mumbled something incoherent, “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Margot. Goodbye, Y/N,” Peter smiled before walking out of the living room. The room went silent as Peter made his way to the front door and tension only increased 

Steve walked over to greet his daughter, lifting her from your arms, “Hello, honey-bear,” Margot’s mood seemed to lift again as she recognized her Daddy and Steve’s hard exterior softened. When they were together, it reminded you how alike they looked. He lifted the giggling girl, taking a whiff of her bottom, “You need a change, don’t you?”

“I can do it-”

Steve interrupted you, “No, I’ve got it. Daddy’s gonna change you, yes he is.” 

“Wash your hands please,” You told Steve who was too focused on the tiny creature. As Steve walked away to climb the stairs, your eyes met with Bucky’s. Although you liked that he was forced to face the consequences of his actions, you knew that he was still chasing your affection. He was facing his demons in order to get closer to you. 

“Catch anything good?” You asked, leaning down to collect all the toys. There was a lake just outside the compound limits that Steve and Bucky frequented for their “time to just be a man” where they liked to go fishing. 

“Nothing alive,” Bucky said, following you as you walked into the kitchen. You put the toys into the sink, turning the warm water on in order to clean them. Bucky leaned against the counter and you felt his gaze burning into you, “It’s still pretty peaceful out there, we didn’t run into any walkers. I was thinking we could go out there together, you could take a break like you deserve.”

“Go out there and do what?” You asked, your eyes not meeting his. 

“I don’t know, have a picnic or something.”

“Or something?” You scoffed, scrubbing at the toys, “Sounds romantic.”

Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line of frustration, “I’m trying here. I’m not good at … romantic stuff.”

“To say the least,” You added, “Bucky, I don’t need or want a break. I’m perfectly content right now.”

“You’re sure about that? You don’t have any other needs begging to be met?” You scowled at him, knowing what he was hinting at. Steve had barely touched you since you started showing and, after the rough birth, he wasn’t willing to rush into trying for a boy. 

“I’m sure.”

+

“Looks like both the girls are down for the night,” Steve said, letting out a sigh as he sat in his desk chair. Bucky sat in the chair in front of Steve’s desk, his feet kicked up on the desk. 

“What about Sharon?”

Steve rubbed his temples at the mention of the woman, “She’s been working late at the infirmary. She won’t tell me but I know it’s because my attention has been elsewhere,” Bucky was beginning to doubt Steve’s feeling for Sharon in the first place. It seemed Steve was ready to completely let the woman go due to her infertility, “I don’t really care if she doesn’t come back. Y/N and I can handle things on our own.”

Bucky only nodded, his mind already wandering elsewhere. Steve noted his friend's frustration and wondered why the man continued to bother with you. Even after all this time, Bucky still didn’t have anyone else on his mind, “What’s on your mind, Buck?”

Bucky’s fingers rubbed over his facial hair as he thought, “That Peter kid.”

Right away, Steve understood. It had been a topic they avoided despite knowing how each other felt about it, “What about him?”

“You don’t think he spends a little too much time around here? With your daughter?”

Steve didn’t believe Peter was any real threat to his family here. Steve saw him as a distraction for you. Someone who helped you forget your worries, “This is about her, Buck. You don’t want him around her.”

“Fine,” Bucky threw up his hands in defeat, “I think he’s getting in the way of Y/N letting me in again. She has Peter to be there and tell her everything's going to be alright so she doesn’t need me.”

“Tell her not to see him then. Matter of fact, tell him to stay away,” Steve spoke simply, the solution obvious in his mind. 

“If she knows I had something to with it, it’ll make things worse. I have to be the good guy in her eyes.”

Steve smiled, a lightbulb going off in his mind, “Shall I be the bad guy then?”

Bucky moved his feet, leaning forward in his chair, “What are you thinking?”

“I still need someone to replace you. Someone to travel and relay messages between our camp and my allies. Peter could fill the position for the time being,” Bucky didn’t think over it long before he agreed. All that was on his mind was winning you back and this would only help his cause, “I need to keep up appearances around here anyways. We don’t need some kid running around here with our girls, right?”

“Right,” Bucky said, his mind on you, “Thanks, Steve.”

“No need, Buck. We have to look out for each other. Besides that, I think it's a good time to ask you to be my second in command.”

+

Margot was a complete celebrity in Liberty. You couldn’t walk on the street without people coming up to wave or to get a look at her. Margot was good with strangers which only solidified her position as princess of this place. 

It was a sunny spring day and you had dressed her in a floral dress and a pink bow. You carried her in one hand and held a tupperware of deserts in the other hand. Sam wasn’t far behind but that hadn’t changed in the past year. 

“We’re going to find uncle Peter, yes we are,” You cooed to the little girl who was energized from her latest nap, “And he’s going to love the cookies we made him.”

You eventually got to the barracks where Steve’s group of soldiers usually stayed, you walked through the long lines of bunk beds to find his. As you passed some men, all of them burly and intimidating, they even waved hello to your little one. 

As you approached Peter’s bunk you found it empty, only a mattress sitting on top of the metal. All of his comics and textbooks were nowhere to be found. You searched around for the nearest person and found a group of older men playing some dice game, “Excuse me, do you know where Peter Parker is today? He slept over there,” You asked, pointing to Peter’s bunk. 

“Packed up early this morning,” The man said, “Think he got reassigned.”

“Reassigned where?” You asked.

“Something outside of the compound. Poor kid.”

Your heart started pounding heavily as you turned back to Sam, “Take me to Steve. Now.”

“He’s on duty-”

“Find him and take me to him, Sam.”

+

Margot was screaming in your eyes mostly because she sensed how upset you were. As soon as you approached Steve, he swooped the little girl into his arms, trying to calm her, “What the hell are you doing?” Steve asked. He came down from one of the watchtowers, a rifle still strapped to his back, as he saw you approaching with Sam. 

“Peter? Where did you send him?”

Steve sighed, “Y/N-”

“Where did you send him?” You shouted back. 

“I needed a new emissary and he volunteered to do it,” Steve stated simply. 

“By himself? He’s a kid, Steve!” Margot cried louder but your blood was boiling, “You’re going to get him killed!”

“We all have to earn our keep around here, Y/N. Some people put their lives on the line for a chance to live here and then people like you spread your legs for it. That’s how it works, sweetheart.”

“You’re a fucking monster,” You spat at him. 

+

Bucky scoured the camp looking for you for a good hour. You were sitting at the bottom of a big tree, staring out into a small field. Where the field ended, the wall began. Bucky startled you when he suddenly appeared and you were quick to try and wipe away your tears. 

He took a seat beside you, leaning his back against the tree. This area of the camp was peaceful, it was no wonder that you had taken a liking to it. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, your face in a frown. 

“I thought you didn’t need a break,” Bucky said, avoiding your question. 

“This isn’t a break,” You said softly, “You’re supposed to feel relaxed on a break-” As your voice cracked and the tears started falling again, Bucky wrapped an arm around your soldier. You leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” You tried to speak as you choked on your sobs.

“He’ll be back, I promise” Bucky stated, “Probably sooner than you think. The kid can handle himself.”

“He shouldn’t have to. Margot shouldn’t have to,” You said, “It isn’t fair.”

Bucky rubbed your shoulder, drawing lines on your skin with his fingers, “I know, doll.”

It was like losing your family all over again. It was worse than losing them. At least you knew they were dead. You wouldn’t know if he was alive or dead and, if something happened, you wouldn’t even know how it happened. There were so many things outside of the walls that could get you killed. 

You pulled away from Bucky gently, realizing how long it had been since you’d been in his arms. Looking into those blue eyes gave you a weird sense of familiarity. Of home, “Maybe you could talk to Steve? For me?”

Bucky nodded, “Of course, doll.”

You stared at his moment and Bucky noted the way your gaze traveled to your lips. Bucky reached over to wipe a tear from your cheek. He couldn’t hide how attracted to you he was, even when you were crying. Bucky placed a soft, hesitant kiss on your cheek, “Everything’s going to be okay. All I should worry about is your little one.”

You took a deep breath, nodding in agreement. 

It must’ve been the emotions or the off-balance hormones because, when Bucky leaned into your lips, you didn’t stop him. In fact, you welcomed that touch. The soft kisses soon became more desperate and hungry. Your lips were angry, demanding as they moved against his. 

It shocked Bucky as much as it did to you. Bucky was elated but he had little time to celebrate you being back in his clutches. You were hungry for something and he was going to make sure you were satisfied. 

Bucky pulled you into his lap and, as you straddled him you said, “Just this once.”

“Just this once,” Bucky agreed, knowing the opposite would be true. 

Your lips devoured each other and Bucky explored your mouth with his hands pulled down the straps of your sundress. As your breast sprang free, he palmed them his hand. The cold of his metal hand sent shivers down your spine but Bucky warmed you again with his mouth. He played with your nipple in his mouth causing you to bite down on your lips. 

Your hands ran through his hair as you savored the feeling. As he moved his mouth away, his head tilted up at you, “You’re so beautiful,” Bucky said and you rolled your eyes, leaning down to undo his belt and zipper. 

“Just fuck me, okay?” Bucky grabbed you by your ass roughly pulling you into him. He reached under your dress, tucking your underwear to the side as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how hard he already was and the idea of him filling you up was making your mouth water with anticipation. 

As you slowly impaled yourself on his cock, your mouth was agape. You realized how full he made you fill, how complete you felt. Bucky held your hips as you began to bounce up and down. Bucky groaned huskily, loving how your face contorted to different expressions as the pleasure went through you. 

As you tried to contain your moans, Bucky placed kisses along your jaw and then on your neck. He felt all your anger and sadness as you used it as motivation, moving your body hard against his. 

The two eventually met your climaxes together, your body shaking as you rode out the rest of the wave. You breathed heavily, leaning against his body. You tucked your head into his shoulder and Bucky simply wrapped his arms around you. 

“Say you won’t leave again,” You whispered.

“I won’t leave you ever again, doll.”

+

The next day you awoke beside Bucky. You watched him as he slept peacefully, his hand over his shirtless chest and his chest slowly rising and falling. That “just this once” had turned into four times which you were sure he was happy with. You had to admit that you didn’t have that morning-after regret that you expected. Bucky had done such horrible things to you and yet he managed to bring you joy like no other. 

You hated that you ran back after resisting for so long but, without Peter, you were once again feeling completely lost. Being with Bucky reminded you of simpler times and, despite the hell you knew it would bring, it was worth it just to feel that comfort. 

Suddenly, you heard commotion coming from downstairs, glass shattering and Steve’s booming voice traveled through the air. You shook Bucky awake as you  began to throw on some clothes, “Bucky, something’s going on!” You threw on some boots and Bucky put on a t-shirt before the two of you filed out of your room. 

You heard your little girl wailing and you followed the sound. You found the front door wide open and quickly ran out of it. As you moved down the porched steps, the sight before you stopped your heart. Steve was holding Margot in one hand and a pistol in the other. A pistol that was pointing at a begging and pleading Sharon. 

Bucky tried to grab your hand but you ran towards him, “Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Your eyes widened even more as you noticed that Margot had no clothes on except for a checkered dishtowel and her skin was wet.

Steve handed you the child but kept the gun pointed at the woman. By now, everyone had filed out of their homes and were watching the chaos, “She tried to drown our baby,” Was all he said, shaking with anger. 

“I-I would never!” Sharon shouted back, her hands up as she laid on the gravel, “Please-”

“I fucking saw you!” Steve shouted back and you felt Bucky’s arm pulling you away. You stepped back with him, knowing that if the gun went off that you didn’t want Margot anywhere near it. 

Your eyes connected with Sharon’s and there was only pure hatred there. She didn’t even look sorry for what she was being accused of, “I was helping! I was taking care of her! You know me, Steve!”

Steve didn’t believe her and you hated that you didn’t either. Was she really capable of something like this? All because of jealousy? Jealousy over a life that you didn’t even want. 

“You weren’t even supposed to be in my house!” You watched as Steve cocked the gun, “You’re lucky I walked in when I did. If you had gotten away with hurting my little Margaret, I would’ve dismembered you piece by piece and I would've enjoyed it. Consider this a blessing.”

“Steve, don’t-” You pressed yourself into Bucky, trying to protect the crying child in your arms as the gun went off and the blonde woman fell limp. 

Steve tucked the weapon into his belt, his muscle still tense, as he tried not to contain whatever emotions were coursing through him, “Early start today. Everyone get to work!” Steve shouted to every citizen who was listening, “And get her body off my fucking street!”

Silence fell over the small town of Liberty. 

+

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts and predictions!

[prompt-master]

Familiar New Beginnings

Hajime woke up that morning already feeling a barrage of unimpressed emotions. He knew his routine by now, had it memorized forwards and backwards. He would do chores around the island, check up on the others still in their comas, then have a video chat with Makoto to update on their status. Despite surviving the impossible, Hajime’s life felt surprisingly uneventful. There was a certain layer of dreariness that stuck to his daily life now. He tried his best to wash it off, but there was always leftover residue no matter how hard he scrubbed. Afterall, many of his friends were comatose, the four others were dealing with their own demons, and nothing in their routine ever seemed to change. He had hope that things would change… but it all felt so…

Hajime groaned, ruffling his hair in the bathroom mirror. If he wasn’t careful, he would sound just like Izuru.

‘And what is wrong with that?’ Speak of the devil.

‘I don’t know… everything?’ Just like that the conversation was over as quickly as it had begun.

He and Izuru were… Well, it had gotten better that’s for sure. Just a month ago the two were constantly clashing with each other. They had argued over everything from moral differences to petty squabbles. At times they had even fought for control of their body, which looked downright scary to the others whenever they got a glimpse. Now… Hajime didn’t really know how to describe his relationship with Izuru. He doesn’t like him, but he doesn’t hate him anymore either. 

Not that it mattered much. Izuru wasn’t a part of his daily routine except for the fact that he was always in the back of his head observing. And Hajime was taking things one day at a time. 

What mattered right now was getting to the restaurant for breakfast, a quick meeting, and chore assignment. It wasn’t really necessary (Izuru reminded him of this every single morning meeting), but the mini tradition was nice. It was like a small reminder that they were in this together. The morning meeting really could make the difference between a bad day and a good day. Kazuichi slinging his arm around him, talking about stupid guy stuff. Sonia trying to work out the chore assignments but getting distracted with more fun conversation. Fuyuhiko pretending to be bitter and serious, but everyone could see he was enjoying himself. Akane of course would always be energetic as Hell. Hajime swore she could always pull them out of a funk with how much of a driving fight she had (even if she mostly used it for her hunger). Morning meetings reminded Hajime how lucky he was to have escaped with them. They reminded him why he was fighting. They reminded him although things currently felt dreary and repetitive, something good would come out of it. Morning meetings were simply wonderful.

At least, that’s what Hajime would have said a day ago. 

Because today’s morning meeting was garbage. There was no way to sugar coat it. He had barely gotten to talk to any of his friends, and although they made his favorite breakfast he was instantly handed a chore list that could only be described as annoying. After reading over the list, Hajime looked up at Sonia.

“Seriously?” The list consisted solely of the most difficult unwanted jobs, not to mention the fact that many were on opposite sides of the island. 

“I’m terribly sorry, Hinata-kun.” Her smile didn’t look sorry though. Before he could get too bitter, Izuru had to remind Hajime that her smile hasn’t been as bright ever since getting her despair memories back. She did a polite bow, one in that over exaggerated foreigner way, “the others have been incredibly down lately so I wanted to try and ease their workload.”

Hajime could already feel a hefty weight on him, “why me though?”

There was a shift in her eyes, a quick glance that she tried to hide, “I figured that…”

Of course she had, since she glanced at his red eye after all. If only she realized how uncooperative Izuru could be. Sure, he had the Ultimate Ultimate living in the attic space of his head but it meant nothing when all he wanted to do was watch. 

Regardless, Hajime nodded. Taking some load off his friends back may do them some good. He knows he heard Kazuichi screaming from a nightmare last night. Probably about the death machines he built. 

“But just this once”, he had said. 

He could practically feel Izuru mocking him in his dead toned way. Throughout the day of trying to get his chores done and ignoring Izuru’s sudden comments about being bored he would hardly get to see any of his friends. It sucked, but sometimes it had to happen, he supposed. They weren’t on an island vacation after all, they had to keep the island self sustaining. All in all… an incredibly lackluster day as he had feared. It was this brand of nothingness that left Hajime feeling vague within his own body. The lack of stimulation allowed him to fade out until the next chore was done. It was a numbness over his body as his brain went into autodrive.

And he hated it.

Feeling like he was floating, feeling like he has no control of his body. That reminded Hajime of how close he was to simply not existing anymore. In fact, sometimes he still wonders if he doesn’t exist. Maybe he’s just Izuru, and this is Izuru’s weird way of coping with everything.

‘Don’t be idiotic, Hajime.’ Izuru said, pulling him back into reality. Right. He was working on the farm. ‘You have survived one of the final trials between hope and despair, against Enoshima Junko herself. Yet you still doubt your own existence. How boring.’

Hajime laughed through his nose, pulling another root out of the ground. Izuru certainly had a strange way of cheering him up. Maybe Hajime was the strange one though, because it worked. 

‘Careful, Kamukura, you almost sound sentimental.’

There was a beat of silence. For a moment Hajime thought that was the end of the conversation. It wasn’t unusual for them to have short bursts of conversation that cut off suddenly. When he spoke again, Hajime wished he had the talent Makoto did. He wished he could see beyond Izuru’s tone to hear the meaning behind them. Even though it was the same flat, uninterested, soft voice he had heard a million times before, he felt as though there was something unseen within.

‘I have told you this before, but that particular trial was one I had set up myself. Your existence is a display of significance and impossibility. Do not disappoint.’ 

It wasn’t too odd to hear this sentiment from Izuru. In fact Hajime had heard it from the moment he woke up. His very existence was the defining reason Izuru gave hope a chance. It clearly meant a lot to Izuru, even if continued to claim he could feel nothing. Still, Hajime couldn’t help but wonder why Izuru was saying this now. Izuru didn’t say anything without purpose. Ah, he didn’t want Hajime to be moping around all day. That would be much too boring. Hajime decided to give Izuru some control over the body just this once, to let him play around in the dirt and with the bugs within. For a man who could do anything, he always found interest in such simple matters. It was almost charming.

Hajime must have nodded off at some point, because when he had come back into the driver’s seat not only was the crop work done, but so were several other chores on the list. Hajime couldn’t even process that for a moment, having to confirm both with Izuru and his own eyes multiple times to be sure. It was always odd blacking out and finding his own body had done something without him. ‘You didn’t have to do all that’ Hajime had said. ‘I was bored’ was all he got in response. Typical Izuru. 

Although Hajime could still feel the aches of labor throughout his body, he had to admit that the break was a welcomed one. Even if Izuru hadn’t intended for it to be a relaxing moment, Hajime supposed sometimes taking the backseat didn’t need to feel so life ending. After all, like Izuru said, if he could survive Junko, he could survive today. And tomorrow. And any day. 

Hajime’s step had a bit more vigor in it now. He felt just slightly more energized. He could tackle the few chores left on the list now. He was certain that without Izuru occasionally throwing in a comment, Hajime would fall asleep while cleaning. 

With the chores list done, he had to do some inspection on his comatosed friends. It was certainly a tough job to handle, but Byakuya - er… The Imposter-  had recently been showing some promising signs. For both The Imposter’s sake and his own, Hajime would keep this work flow going. He had to, even if he felt tired. Besides, the sooner he finished with that, the sooner he could call Makoto, and the sooner he could lay in bed and go to sleep. Just imagining that left Hajime feeling happy, maybe with some luck he could even convince Izuru to not interrupt his sleep out of boredom.

“Yo, Hinata!”

Strangely enough, outside the hospital was Kazuichi, seemingly waiting for him. As Hajime approached, Kazuichi pushed off the wall he was leaning against and jogged up to him.

Hajime placed his hands in his pockets, ignoring Izuru’s gentle scoldings about how that was rude and closed off body posture, “Hey Souda, what are you doing here?”

Kazuichi flashed a smile full of teeth, “The others decided to throw a dinner party, so I came to let ya know. Cuz y’know, you’re invited, of course.”

“A dinner party?” Hajime couldn’t deny the temptation. “What for?”

“We’ve been all working so hard ‘n stuff!”

“Ah, so it’s just an excuse to party.”

Kazuichi glared and pointed at Hajime in accusation, “hey hey we deserve to have this man!”

Hajime laughed, rolling his eyes, “well, I guess so. It sounds like fun, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves.”

“Hold on. What do you mean ‘you guys’?”

“Well... “ Hajime rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m pretty tired in all honesty. Besides,” Hajime glanced at the hospital, “It feels a bit wrong to celebrate right now.”

Kazuichi’s eyes widened, and he began waving his hands side to side, “you got to come!”

“I do?”

“Yes!” At Hajime’s continued confusion, Kazuichi took a step back to try and calm himself down, “It would be weird without you, we need you to join.” 

Hajime tried to wave his hand in dismissal, “I’ve done a lot of work today, Souda-”

But Kazuichi just clasped his hands together and began begging, “please Hinata!” he said. Geez, Kazuichi was always pushy when it came to this sort of stuff but… 

‘Enough. Just agree to go.’

‘We need rest. You’d be bored anyway.’

‘Rest is far more boring than a predictable dinner. Besides, you wish to go, so I see no point in refusal.’

Hajime sighed. How did he always get pushed into antics like this? “Alright, Souda, Alright, I’ll go.” 

Kazuichi threw his fits up into the air in celebration, “Fuck yeah! You won’t regret this Hinata!” before Hajime could make any more small talk Kazuichi ran off towards the island bridge. 

“I’m gonna tell Owari to bring the good booze!” He yelled.

Hajime cupped his hands over his mouth, “Don’t drink too much!” They still had work to do the next day afterall.

A dinner party huh? Seemed a bit out of the blue, but the others like to do little activities to keep morale up. He supposed this just had to be another example of that. Hajime yawned as he entered the hospital, already knowing that he would be up late tonight. They would probably meet for this little get together at around six or seven at night. And thanks to the simulation, Hajime was still used to ending the day around ten. Maybe he could convince Sonia to let him sleep until late the next day, Izuru did have Ultimate Psychologist on his hand after all. He could be incredibly convincing when he wanted to.

‘Absolutely not.’

Oh, c’mon. Hajime hadn’t even shared that thought with Izuru!

‘You’re predictable.’

Hajime rolled his eyes, getting to work at the hospital. Before he knew it the day was essentially over. There was little to no progress to report, but Makoto assured him that things were looking up regardless. Makoto assured him that every day. Although in this particular call, Makoto did seem to hold more kindness to his smile than usual. He told Hajime to take the day off tomorrow, which was odd. Hajime hasn’t taken many days off at all since waking up. The only exception was back when he and Izuru would fight more often. Why would he take a day off now? Perhaps Makoto could tell he needed a good night's sleep?

Either way, Hajime just had to survive the dinner party. And at least this would be genuinely enjoyable. It would just be him, his friends, and the bottles of alcohol around them. 

Akane greeted him at the door, “Hinata!” she yelled, smile bright as ever.

Kazuichi of course wrapped an arm around Hajime once he saw him, shaking him back and forth.

Sonia held both of his hands in hers, guiding him to the food she and Akane helped prepare. Honestly, he was surprised the food was still on the table. But it did look good.

Fuyuhiko had handed Hajime a glass, telling him he was certain Hajime would enjoy the taste of this particular alcohol. 

It was almost like they were a normal group of college kids on a friday night. They told stupid stories of their past, drank, and ate their hearts out. Occasionally Hajime would let Izuru take control to take a sip of a particularly bitter drink. But all in all no one got too wasted, mostly because Fuyuhiko wouldn’t let them. 

Hajime was laughing at one of Kazuichi’s many rejection stories when Sonia tapped a glass with her spoon. Moments like these reminded Hajime of why Sonia was titled after such an impressive talent. It wasn’t simply a role she was born into, she carried all the traits of elegance and leadership in her posture as she gathered everyone’s attention to her. Back straight, and kind smile, Hajime wanted to give his undivided attention. 

“Every day I feel so grateful to have become your friends,” She said, “we have all accomplished so much, and we only have more goals to seek in our future.” She turned to face Hajime specifically, “and we have you to thank for that, Hinata-kun.”

“Huh? Me?” Well that wasn’t right. In fact if Hajime hadn’t been so depressed as a teenager Izuru wouldn’t have existed. And then Izuru wouldn’t have helped end the world. And then he wouldn’t have put Junko into the Neo World Program. 

Izuru reminded him that if he had refused the project, Hope's Peak Academy would have simply targeted another student. 

“Yeah, you!” Akane smiled, punching Hajime hard in the shoulder, “We definitely wouldn’t have left without you!”

Fuyuhiko looked up from where he had been sitting with his arms crossed, “And these idiots would have never figured out the trials without you.”

“It was a team effort.” Hajime tried to stress, “We all have done so much-”

“Bro!” Kazuichi yelled, “Just let us appreciate you, holy shit!”

Hajime laughed as Akane filled up his cup with another round of liquor, “Seriously Hinata, do you ever loosen up? Maybe we need more food.”

Hajime took a sip, cringing a bit at the burn it brought his throat. Akane did always like the more intense stuff. “Did you guys throw this all together just to be nice to me?” 

It admittedly was nicer than looking back on the past as they had grown accustomed too after gaining back their old memories. Hajime had to remind himself often to look for the future instead, and it sounded like the others still want to as well.

Sonia’s smile fell from royal elegance to that of a close friend, “it’s almost midnight you know.”

“I wonder what the new year will bring,” Fuyuhiko was watching the red sky through the window, “can’t get worse than this bullshit.”

Fuyuhiko choked as Akane slammed a hand onto his back, “It’s going to be a great year! I can’t wait for coach to wake up! I’ve got so much shit to show him, and Minimaru ain’t as good at massaging.”

“So that’s what this is all about, huh?” Was it really New Years Eve already? Hajime felt like there was something else he was forgetting but before he could think more on it… 

“Is everyone ready to count down?” Sonia asked, eliciting sounds of approval (and cheers from one Kazuichi).

“Ten... “Sonia looked at her watch and took charge of the count. She really did make a good leader.

“Nine” All of Hajime’s exhaustion felt lost. It was a short few seconds, but everyone seemed so excitable. It was contagious.

“Eight” The others had gathered close to each other, letting Hajime get a full view of the carefree joy on their faces.

“Seven” He wished he could wake up those unconscious to join them. He’d have to work twice as hard this year to make sure they all got to celebrate together.

“Six” But that was what this was all about anyway. They were looking to the future, just as they had promised in the game.

“Five!” The excitement in their voices grew, Hajime just as loud with them. 

“Four!” Because it was more than just about looking to the future.

“Three!” It was about making the future.

“Two!” They were going to take the future in their hands and make it worth living through all that despair.

“One!” And Hajime couldn’t be more thankful to make this future with them.

“Happy Birthday!” “Happy New Year!”

Huh? What? Why did everyone else yell about..?

Everyone was smiling ear to ear. He could see they all had these smug proud expressions as if they’d caught him in the act. Did he..?

“Wait a sec,” Hajime looked at everyone’s faces one by one for any signs of the truth, “is it someone’s birthday…?”

He was met with blank stares. Shit, he must have forgotten someone’s birthday and now he looked like an idiot because he was the only one who didn’t know. Hell he didn’t know it was the 31st until a few moments ago!

Hajime fidgeted, now feeling bad for getting so caught up in work that he’d forget something like this, “I’m...who’s birthday is it? Why did no one tell me... “

Kazuichi was staring at Hajime like he was an idiot, and that was saying a lot, “Dude… it’s your birthday!”

“...Really?”

“Did you forget your own birthday?!” Fuyuhiko yelled, then he turned to Sonia, “I told you this surprise bullshit was stupid.”

“I thought it would be cute… ”

“Man… '' Akane looked flatout depressed, “I held back on eating the cake and everything and you weren’t even happy.”

“What?! No, no, I just-” Hajime pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling embarrassment redden his ears. “I really didn’t know.”

For just a moment Hajime retreated back into his head.

‘Did you know about this, Kamukura?’

‘Of course.’ Izuru had known everything from the moment they had woken up. And he’d known about the party since Sonia had handed them their chores list.

‘And you didn’t tell me..?!’

‘I thought that it would be amusing.’

‘Well. Are you amused?’

‘Predictably… yes.’

Sonia looked down at the floor with a defeated posture, she sunk down into one of the restaurant chairs, “I’m sorry Hinata-kun… the others said we should have just told you about the party but I thought that since… “

Kazuichi propped elbow up on the table, resting his head against his hand. Even he looked defeated, Hajime wondered how much effort they put into this surprise, “We thought since none of us have celebrated our birthdays in years that it’d be nice to make a big deal out of it.”

“Wait, hold on just a second everyone.” They were right, none of them had properly celebrated their birthdays for a few years, Hajime even more since he was quite literally erased, “This all is very sweet! I just… didn’t remember. Usually it’s colder around my birthday…”

It didn’t seem to do much to uplift the mood, but he could see the urge to tease Hajime for his forgetfulness on their faces.

“Really, all of you. This means a lot to me.” Hajime could imagine them formulating their plan for this party. Making sure he was out of the way, getting together to brainstorm different ideas. Not to mention the hand baked cake, he could only imagine what the kitchen must look like right now. He knows they must have put their entire hearts into this.  “I’m really lucky to have all of you.”

The others smiled at Hajime, glad to see that their efforts weren’t for nothing. At the end of the day, they had just wanted to make Hajime feel special. And although the surprise wasn't as big of a hit as they had intended it to be, they had the rest of the day to make Hajime feel as special as he really was. Now if only this awkward silence would go away-

“Pah...what’s with all this depressing atmosphere when there’s a perfectly good cake right here in front of us?!” Akane cried out, cutting Hajime a slice before cutting herself a massive piece. 

Sonia beamed, hands on her hips, “Owari-san is right! The party must go on!”

“It’s ‘the show must go on’, Sonia.” 

And just like that the high energy was back. It may have been twelve in the morning, but all of them were ecstatic as though it was just a fun afternoon. They even had gifts prepared for him, stuff they all had to create themselves since there weren’t exactly any stores open on the island. Sonia had put together a book for him, full of photos of them courtesy of Makoto and the Neo World Program’s leftover data. She left some space in the book for new memories when the others woke up. Akane had gotten him an assortment of pretty shells she’d found along the shoreline. She had also gotten him a rather gross looking squid, claiming she pulled it right out of the ocean for him. Kazuichi had gotten him a handmade phone. He said the internet doesn’t exist still, but he was trying to replicate as much of the fun as he could with his limited coding knowledge. Apparently Alter Ego helped him with that stuff. Fuyuhiko’s was a lot simpler, but he knew it meant a lot. It was a handmade bracelet of twined hay. At Hajime’s confusion, Fuyuhiko had lifted his sleeve to show a matching bracelet on his own wrist. Looking away with a flustered expression on his face, Fuyuhiko had said it was a way to show their brotherhood. 

Now Hajime poked at his cake. It wasn’t the best tasting cake he’d ever had. It was messy, and too sweet, and a bit undercooked. But somehow that’s what made it the best cake he had ever had. It was so… homemade. And that’s what made it really special to Hajime. As he ate more of his cake he thought to himself about how they wanted to make his first birthday in years special. Hajime began to dig through his mind for the last memory he had of someone putting in effort for his birthday with little avail. His birthday came right after New Years Eve parties. People were usually too tired to then turn around and celebrate some kids' party. He didn’t have any friends either. There was a reason he specifically was selected for the Kamukura Project. Hajime could have disappeared at any moment, and no fuss would have kicked up a storm. Not even his parents would have batted an eye. Sure, they had spent a monumental sum of money to get him into the reserve course, but that was also the exact reason they had grown to resent him. They spent a fortune to get their useless son an opportunity to become something, and nothing had even changed. Looking back, Hajime’s life had been a lonely mix of drowning in low self esteem and being uncared for. 

But now these guys...his closest friends… they were changing everything he knew about his life. Hajime didn’t know it was possible to feel so loved.

‘I have never had cake before’ 

Oh. That’s right, Izuru was still here. Like he always was. That was another change in his life. Did it have to be so unwelcomed though?

Hajime pulled back to let Izuru take the driver's seat for a moment, watching distantly as he picked up a fork and put it in his mouth.

‘The amount of frosting on this is offensive to the craft of baking.’

‘That must mean you like it, then.’

‘Indeed.’

Izuru continued to eat pieces from his cake. Hajime decided to simply let him, it wasn’t often Izuru found something that interested him. He’s sure in just a few more bites Izuru will give back control willingly once he gets bored of the overly sweet taste. He might as well let Izuru join in the celebration.. Wait… 

‘Hey, Kamukura, what about you.’

‘What about me? I am eating cake.’

‘But they’ve only been celebrating me.’

‘That is because it is not my birthday.’

That… did make sense. Just because their body was made on this day didn’t mean Izuru himself was. 

‘When is your birthday, then?’

‘I do not see why it matters.’

Moments like these reminded Hajime that although Izuru was a man who had everything, he’d only been living for a few years now. He was sitting here absolutely pleased and amazed with the idea of an overly sweet cake. Had Izuru ever celebrated his own birthday?

‘Just tell me. We’ll celebrate yours when the time comes around.’

‘You cannot throw a celebration for someone who feels nothing.’ Bullshit, Hajime thought. But he kept that one to himself.

‘Humor me, wouldn’t it be interesting to see what we come up with?’ Everyone deserved that chance. If Hajime, the unloved talentless reserve course student could get here, then why couldn’t Izuru? 

‘Very well. I first awoke on June Ninth.’

June Ninth. June Ninth. June Ninth. Hajime repeated the date in his head to commit it to memory. Just a month ago, Hajime would have scoffed at the idea of celebrating Izuru’s existence. Maybe his life hadn’t been so unchanging as he thought. Just a month ago, Izuru would have never cared about Hajime’s birthday. It didn’t seem like change was happening on the surface, but they were there. Slowly moving. Always making progress. Is this what hope meant? Would they one day become more than just headmates? Maybe they’d become… friends?

‘I’ll make sure you have a great birthday, Izuru.’

Izuru was smiling just the slightest. Or well, this smile was as wide as it could get when Izuru was the subject matter. ‘Focus on your own birthday for now, Hajime’ that was his way of saying happy birthday, ‘ensure that this year you do not disappoint me with your existence.’

For once Hajime had a strong feeling that he won’t.

[starrybethany]

I’m Sure - Adam Boqvist Imagine Part 3

Word count: 4.2K

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

He looks like the perfect mix of Adam and me. But ever since he started growing his blonde hair out, he’s started to look more like Adam. Sometimes when Holden isn’t acting like a grown up and he allows me to cuddle with him and run my hand through his hair, it brings me back to the times I’ve done the same thing with Adam.

I can’t help but feel flashes of guilt in those moments. He’s shown no interest in his father, but I feel the urge to tell him about him. I don’t want him to get hurt by never having a relationship with his father, but I also don’t want to push him to have a relationship with his father just to get hurt. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Now is one of those rare times when he lets me hold him like I did when he was a baby. I convinced him to watch a movie with me, one of those cheesy Pixar films that I know that he loves. He looks up at me from between my arms, staring up at me with eyes that match my mother’s.

When he was born and opened his eyes for the first time, I was secretly relieved that his eyes didn’t match Adam’s. I just knew it would hurt to have to see a mini-Adam every day. But Holden’s eyes being the same as my mother’s hurt just slightly less than it would if they looked like Adam’s, considering I haven’t talked to my mother in over a decade after a rough childhood. It’s part of the reason that when I decided to keep Holden, I knew I had to go all in and do everything I could to provide for him and give him the best life possible.

“Mom, where did you live before you moved to Colorado?” He questions. Even though he’s lived in Philadelphia most of his life, he’s seen the photos of his toddler self cradled in my arms, the Rocky Mountains decorating the background.

“Chicago,” I answer.

“And why did you move from Chicago?”

My chest tightens at the question, but I shrug nonchalantly. I can’t just say hey kid, I was trying to escape your father. Then he would have more questions and I would put a preconceived idea of his father in his head before he even met him.

“I needed a change in scenery,” I decide on instead. It’s the truth, I did choose to go to Colorado over other states because Alex and Dylan used to show me photos of how beautiful it is.

“And what did you do in Chicago?”

“What is this, twenty questions?” I laugh.

“I’m trying to get to know you,” Holden responds.

“I’m your mother, how are you trying to get to know me?” I tickle him, causing him to giggle. “I worked for the Chicago Blackhawks as a suites advisor.”

“The hockey team?” He furrows his eyebrows. I nod. “Whoa, that’s cool. How the hell did you get that job?”

“Language,” I warn him. “I did an internship with them my senior year of college and got the job offered to me when I graduated.”

“Oh,” he yawns, snuggling closer to me. “That’s sick, mom.”

I laugh, kissing the top of his head. “Yes, it is sick.”

~

I pour the mixed eggs into the pan, waiting for them to sizzle. A wave of nausea suddenly hits me, and I grab onto the edge of the counter, trying to balance myself and swallow the bile that threatens to come up my throat.

I take deep breaths through my nose but that only makes it worse as I smell the scrambled eggs over and over again. I move the pan off of the stove and quickly turn it off, rushing out through the front door to take in gulps of fresh air.

Unfortunately, as soon as I open my mouth, everything that I ate last night comes up.

“Are you okay, honey?” A tender voice calls out.

I look over to see my neighbors, a kind elderly couple, staring at me with concern from their front stoop.

“I’m fine,” I choke out, trying to hide my red cheeks behind my hair. “Probably just the stomach bug that’s been going around.”

They nod, obviously not believing the answer but deciding not to push it. I ignore the little voice in my head telling me that the last time I was this sensitive to the smell of scrambled eggs, an embryo was growing in me.

I enter the house again, seeing Holden planted on the couch in front of the TV. He watches with a questioning expression as I dump the eggs into the trashcan, practically throwing the dirty pan into the sink.

I turn to my son. “New plan, we’re having cereal for breakfast.”

~

“Holden!” I throw his bedroom door open in excitement, totally forgetting our golden rule of privacy.

“Mom,” he exclaims in shock, turning his phone off and flipping it over so the screen is face down on his desk. “Have you ever heard of knocking?”

“Sorry,” I apologize, knowing better. He’s getting to the age of porn and masturbation and that is the last thing that I want to walk in on- having the birds and the bees talk with him was hard enough.

When I found out that I was having a boy and not a girl, that was one thing that I was not looking forward to. And it was just as bad as I thought it was going to be…

“What are you doing home this early?” He glances at the clock.

“Oh, yeah, that’s what I wanted to tell you!” I grin wildly, remembering the reason that I rushed into his bedroom in the first place. “I slept in this morning, like I totally missed my alarm and even when I woke up after ten hours of sleep, I was still exhausted. Anyways, I called work and they told me that it was slow, so I decided to take the whole day off and then I went back to sleep for four hours. When I woke up I went to Target to get some groceries but they have that Starbucks inside and I’ve been meaning to try two different drinks lately and I just decided to try them both and-“”Now you’re completely energized,” he gives me a look of amusement. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“Let’s go out for dinner tonight,” I initiate, “We can go to that cute new restaurant downtown that I meant to try with Winston.”

“Sure, mom,” he rolls his eyes but slowly rises from his bed.

“Oh, and just remember, real sex is never like porn,” I tell him before closing his door behind me.

I can still hear his whine of, “Mom!”

~

“I think I’m going to try the chicken alfredo,” I announce, closing the menu with my order picked out.

“You always get that,” Holden points out.

“And? It’s always good. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” I shrug, taking a sip from my cup of Pepsi.

I take a moment to look at my new surroundings. This is the type of restaurant that Winston would love. He loves restaurants that have the brick interior- he always used to say that restaurants that looked like this had the best food.

Maybe I made a mistake breaking up with him. I mean, all he was asking was for me to be honest with him about my feelings. He was trying to do was build a future with me and Holden. Plus, Holden liked him. He’s getting to that age where he might not like all of my boyfriends, shouldn’t I hold onto one that he does like?

“So,” Holden coughs, causing my eyes to snap back to him. He looks uncomfortable, like he doesn’t want to say what he’s about to say or ask what he’s about to ask. “I have to do a project for school on my parents’ lineage. I know all of your stuff, but what about my dad’s?”

I pause, my eyes laser focused on the boy sitting in front of me. He needs to know. But is he asking because he wants to know or because of this school project? Will this school project lead to more questions about his father? I obviously have to tell him the truth, but I wish I would have prepared myself more for this. I could’ve given myself a pep talk in the mirror before having to tell Holden all about his father.

It’s my turn to cough awkwardly. “He’s one hundred percent Swedish.”

“Swedish,” he repeats, nodding. “Okay.”

I freeze. Is that really all he wanted to know? “Do you want a name or something?”

“No,” he shakes his head, drinking from his cup now. “I’m good.”

I nod silently, not knowing what else to say. If he doesn’t want to learn more about his dad, I’m not going to force him. I just hope this project doesn’t bring out some feelings of resentment towards his father or me.

~

I shift on my feet, trying to sooth the searing pain without actually taking my shoes off to give myself a foot massage. But boy, what I would do for a good foot massage right now.

Lia and Rachel giggle to each other and I smile at them fondly, remembering when I was their age and working to be able to my college tuition.

“Lia, I ordered you two more shirts,” I inform the young girl, leaning against the counter to ease the pressure on my feet.

“Thanks, Y/N,” she flashes me a smile. “Hey, what time does the new girl start work today?”

I give her a confused expression. “What new girl?”

“Didn’t Tiffany say anything to you?” Now her expression morphs into one of confusion. “She popped in a couple of days ago and said that she hired another employee and that she was going to start Tuesday, today.”

I fight back the scowl that begs to come out and bite back the nasty words I want to say about the owner. She’s been a shitty owner for as long as I’ve worked here, and this is a good example. A new employee starts today and she’s nowhere in sight.

“She must’ve forgotten to mention it to me,” I settle on saying. I make small talk with the two, catching up on their studies and what they’re doing in their free time. I like to hear about their time in college, it reminds me of all of the all-nighters I used to pull and the times I would leave fraternity houses completely obliterated. Of course, I’m not gonna tell these girls that.

A small girl, younger than Lia and Rachel, appears in front of the counter with a shy look on her face. I recognize the expression as one that the two girls had on their first day here, so I give her a big smile and ask, “Hi! Are you the new employee?”

“Yeah, my name is Marcella,” she introduces herself. I introduce myself to her and usher her behind the counter, giving her an apron with a new nametag on it and show her a couple of things on the machines.

“But I don’t want to overwhelm you on your first day, so you can just observe us today and try it tomorrow, okay?” I request. She nods, a relieved smile on her face. “I’m going to go to the back and grab you some extra shirts that we have until we can order some for you.”

As I shuffle through the boxes in the back, trying to find some that would fit the small girl, I can hear the three talking in the front of the café.

“Is she the owner?” Marcella asks in a hushed tone.

“No, she’s the supervisor, but she might as well be the owner because she does everything the owner should be doing,” Rachel responds. I smile at her answer, glad that someone is seeing the hard work that I put in around here.

“Is she, like, chill?” Marcella questions.

“Oh, she’s very chill. Like you can be on your phone, she doesn’t care, she’s on her phone all of the time too,” Lia says.

“But she’s on her phone because she has a kid,” Rachel points out, “You’re on your phone because you’re Snapchatting the boy that you’ve been talking to for the past four months.”

The three girls giggle with each other as I emerge from the back, two shirts in my hand. My eyes immediately take in Marcella, who’s phone is grasped in her hand now.

That’s not what catches my attention. What catches my attention is her phone case. Tommy Hawk stares back at me with a “miss me?” look on his stupid bird face.

“You a Blackhawks fan?” I try to keep my tone casual as I set the shirts down on the counter next to her, turning to occupy my hands with a spray bottle and a rag.

“Yeah, are you?” She inquires.

I swallow the lump in my throat that appears with the question. Act cool, act casual. She doesn’t know anything about your past, none of the girls do. “No, not really a hockey fan. Just used to live in Chicago and would see the logo everywhere.”

It’s not a lie.

“It is everywhere,” she giggles.

“Well, now you’re going to have to be a Flyers fan,” I give her a smile, hoping she doesn’t see through it to my anxiety.

And when Lia begins to talk about how the guy she’s been talking to is a big Flyers fan, I feel relief flood through my body that I’ve made it through this conversation and into the clear.

~

I’ve been avoiding this for two weeks now. I can’t even remember when Adam and I had sex, but I remember the symptoms from eleven years ago. Swollen feet. Sensitive breasts. Aversions to certain foods- like scrambled eggs. God, I feel like throwing up just at the thought.

But I can’t avoid it forever. I need something to confirm or deny my beliefs. And now, instead of sitting on the shitty toilet in my loft in Chicago, I’m sitting on the toilet that actually works in my condo in Philadelphia.

Time has gone by, but I somehow find myself in this situation yet again. Instead of two tests balancing on the edge of the sink basin, there’s three tests sitting on paper towel on the counter.

I feel less nervous this time than I was when I found out that I was pregnant with Holden. I mean, now I know that I’m a good mom, I’m a good mom to Holden. Sure, I’m not in the best place financially still, but I could find a way to make it work- I did the first time around.

But before I make all of these decisions, I need to find out if I’m even pregnant first.

My phone alarm goes off and I quickly turn it off, taking a deep breath. The nerves start to set in, and I bite my lip in fear.

No matter what happens, I’ll figure it out.

I rise with shaky legs, turning to stand in front of the counter, my eyes meeting the mirror. Slowly, they move down to the three electronic tests.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Fuck. I run a hand through my hair, lifting my gaze to stare at myself in the mirror. I’m going to be a mom again. I haven’t been a mom to a newborn in twelve years, will I even remember what it’s like to change poppy diapers and make a bottle? I’m older now- not that old- but still, will I want to wake up several times throughout the night to feed an infant?

I mean, at least in Colorado I had a steady boyfriend who willingly shared those shifts with me. Now it’d be me by myself. I’m sure I could get Holden to pitch in every once in a while- shit, Holden.

How the hell am I supposed to tell my twelve-year-old son that I’m knocked up? It’s embarrassing enough to be in middle school, but to have your mom be pregnant will make it all the more humiliating. And the age gap is going to be thirteen years, they’ll have nothing in common with each other. What the hell am I supposed to tell him when he asks me who the father is?

Guess what, kiddo? You two have the same biological father! “Mom,” the kid in question calls out from the other side of the bathroom door.

“Uh, just a minute, buddy,” I stutter, quickly shoving the tests into one of the cabinet drawers, burying it under some pads. He doesn’t go in my master bathroom in the first place, but if he did, I wouldn’t want him to find out about the pregnancy before I could tell him myself.

I throw the paper towel into the trash can and open the door breathlessly, the blonde on the other side of the door giving me a questioning look.

“Uh, you okay, mom?”

“I’m fine,” I answer, exiting the bathroom and plopping down on my bed, patting the spot next to me for him to take a seat. He does. “What’s up?”

“I want to ask you something,” he begins, picking at his overgrown fingernails. It’s his nervous habit, I’ve picked up on it over the past twelve years but haven’t said anything about it. I don’t want him to know that I realize it because then he can hide his emotions from me.

“Okay,” I nod encouraging.

“There’s this programming camp this summer, in Chicago, that I’d like to go to,” he stutters through.

My heart races at the thought of my baby boy in Chicago by himself. He’s grown up a lot in the past couples of months and I know that he’ll grow in the time that he has before he goes to the camp, but I can’t help but feel anxious at the thought of my son with no one to watch him in a big city like Chicago.

“It’s in June, and it’s only for two weeks,” he continues quickly.

“Honey... that’s in a month and a half,” I point out, “It’s kind of last minute to be bringing this up to me, don’t you think?”

“I know, mom, but I didn’t think I wanted to do it and I started thinking about it more and then I realized I really want to do it,” he pleads.

“I didn’t realize you were really into computer programming,” I state softly. If I don’t know about something that my son is so clearly passionate about, am I really that good of a mother?

“Yeah, well, it’s a, um, recent development.”

I nod. “Okay. We’ll sign you up for this camp tonight and then we’ll start getting you ready.”

“Thanks, mom!” He launches himself into my arms and I giggle with surprise, not ready for the sudden action. Nonetheless, I hug him back, cherishing the feeling of my older child in my arms.

“I love you, Holden.”

“I love you, too, mom.”

~

Later that night I lay in bed, darkness filling my room. As soon as Holden left my room earlier to play video games, I pulled out my phone, scheduling an appointment with my doctor to confirm the pregnancy and see how far along I am.

I reach over for my phone, opening Instagram. Adam’s follow request still sits there, untouched. It’s been weeks now, so I doubt that he remembers that he even sent it. Hell, I don’t even post that often, so if I confirmed it, he would barely be able to tell that he’s following me.

But do I confirm it for my son and our future, second child together? Do I message him and tell him that I’m 99% sure that he’s going to be a dad again?

I mean, his track record so far tells me that I shouldn’t do that. He doubted paternity when I told him that I was pregnant with Holden and basically told me to get rid of the baby. He didn’t bother to contact me for thirteen years, and when we did come into contact again, accidentally, he didn’t mention Holden at all or ask about him.

That tells me he’s still not ready to become a parent. It’s been over a decade and he hasn’t come to terms that he’s a dad and that he needs to step up and be there for his child- or children, now.

And I may be a bitch, but I don’t want to give him a chance to hurt this second baby. Even though Holden’s never shown any interest in getting to know Adam, what if this second child does?

What if this baby reaches out to Adam just to get told “sorry, I don’t want you and I never did.” I can’t imagine how much my heart would break for my child if that were to happen. So, with pain radiating in my heart, I decline Adam’s follow request. I’ve gone through one pregnancy without him, I can go through another.

~

Day by day, it’s getting harder to hide my pregnancy from Holden. I wanted to wait as long as I could, or at least until twelve weeks when I know it’s less likely to lose the baby, to tell him that I’m pregnant. I was eight weeks along when I found out but now, I’m fourteen weeks, beginning to show.

I’ve noticed that with this pregnancy I started showing a lot sooner than I did with Holden. My doctor told me that’s normal, that my uterus is already stretched out, so the baby already has space to grow.

I’ve been wearing baggy sweatshirts and T-shirts for weeks now, but I don’t think Holden’s caught on yet.

I stare at myself in the mirror, a prominent bump sticking out from my stomach. I can tell it’s only going to be days until I have to begin telling people about the baby, but I don’t have a few days with Holden.

I drop him off at the airport early tomorrow morning for his flight to Chicago. All he’s ben raving about for the past month and a half has been this computer programming camp- honestly, most of it goes over my head, but I smile whenever he talks about it to me because he gets so enthusiastic.

After seeing him lock himself in his room to play video games all day for months, it’s nice to see him be so passionate about something.

And I hate to tell him such big news right before he leaves for his camp, but if I don’t tell him now, he’ll definitely find out with his own eyes when he gets back.

I drop my shirt, walking hesitantly into the hallway and knocking on his bedroom door.

“Come in,” he calls out.

I open the door to find him hurriedly shoving shirts and shorts into his suitcase that’s laying on his bed.

“Hey, fold those properly so that you have more room in your suitcase,” I advise, taking some shirts from the luggage and folding it into a neat pattern. “And pack some pants, Chicago can still be chilly in June.”

“Okay,” he murmurs, rushing over to his dresser and pulling his pants drawer open.

“I want to talk to you about something,” I tell him, eyes focused on his back.

He freezes in his spot, a pair of black jeans in one hand and a pair of blue jeans in the other. “Okay?”

“Come sit with me.”

He slowly moves over towards me, sitting on the other side of his suitcase. “Okay.”

I take a deep breath, looking him in the eye. “I’m pregnant.”

“O-Okay.”

“Can you say something other than okay?” I question, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Well, is it, is it Winston’s?”

I shake my head, biting my lip.

“How far along are you?”

I squint in confusion, unsure of the sudden change from the questioning of paternity to how far along I am. “Fourteen weeks.”

“Do you know the sex yet?”

“No, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find that out at all,” I admit.

“I think we should find that out when I get back from the camp, together,” he responds nonchalantly, folding a T-shirt laying on the bed.

I can’t help but feel surprised. I thought he would be shocked, upset, angry, I don’t know, but have a stronger reaction than the one that he’s giving me. I guess this camp really is putting him in a good mood, though. It makes me worried of what his reaction is going to be when he returns to Philadelphia after Chicago.

Will he still have that casual approach, or will it finally hit him that it won’t just be the two of us?

“So, you’re okay with it?” I confirm.

“Yeah. It’s about time we get some change around here.”

I chuckle at that, reaching for another shirt to fold. “Yeah, well, we’re about to get a whole lot of change.”

Please fill out this form on what you want the sex of baby #2 to be!!

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

Fire Keeper: Chapter 16

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures.

Chapter 16 summary: You go with Aja, Krel, and Stuart to the moon to rescue Varvatos.

If there was one spell you were using more often it was the lullaby spell. You quietly sang to the baby in your arms. It was late and you had caught her crying. Thankfully she hadn’t woken any of the other babies and your lullaby was helping her fall back into a peaceful sleep.

Just as you put her back into the crib you felt your phone vibrate. You took it out of your pocket and saw that Toby was calling. You quickly left the house so you wouldn’t wake anyone.

“Hello?” You asked, answering it.

“Hey, Y/n, so my friends, Aja and Krel need help with something and I immediately thought of you.”

“Oh, I know Aja and Krel. What do they need? Is it another bounty hunter?” You asked, concerned. You had only known them for about an hour, but you had grown to care for the siblings. Your older sister instincts had kicked in.

“They need help finding their friend and since you were able to track down Glug I thought maybe you could help them out.”

“Yeah, I can figure something out,” you said. You knew you couldn’t ask Archie to help Aja and Krel, but you could look for their friend’s aura. “Text me the address and I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, and Krel said you might need a disguise.”

“Got it.”

~~~~

After dropping Mao off at Douxie’s you arrived to see Aja, Krel, Eli and Toby waiting.

“He should have been here by now. Those Durians are always late!” Krel whined.

“And this is all one big rescue mission for your geezer friend?” Eli asked.

“For Varvatos, yes,” Krel corrected. “He's being held at a bounty hunter outpost on the Earth's moon.”

“The moon? So flipping cool!” Toby exclaimed. “Although, probably not so much for your friend.”

“Wait we’re going to the moon?” You asked.

Krel, Toby and Eli turned to you. “Oh, hey Y/n. Thanks for coming,” Toby said.

“Um, yeah. I’m here to help.”

“Thank you,” Krel said. “Our friend Varvatos is trapped on the moon in this Bounty Hunter’s guild and we don’t know how big it is and Toby said you could help us find him.”

You smiled. “Yep, I just need you to tell me about him.”

“We can talk on the way there,” Krel said.

Aja paced behind you, talking on the phone. “I told you, we're at a sleepover with our friends Toby, Y/n, and Eli.”

Aja sighed. “Y/n does. I'll find out more and report back. Tomorrow.”

Aja hung up and turned to Toby and Eli. “Thanks for covering for us. Did you bring the gear?”

“As requested,” Toby said, patting a box. You jumped as a spaceship appeared behind him.

Eli gasped. “Awesome!”

“Sauc-er!” Toby joked and you shook your head, smiling at his pun.

“Greetings, Your Majesties. Your chariot awaits. Ah!” The green alien yelped as the ship sputtered.

“That doesn't inspire confidence,” Krel muttered and you nodded.

“And how long is it going to take us to reach the moon... in that?” Aja asked, jumping onto the ship.

“Assuming we make good time, 20 to 30, tops,” the alien said as Krel hopped on after his sister, with the box. He almost fell backwards, but you caught him with your magic. You levitated onto the ship.

“Wow! Minutes?” Eli marveled.

The alien laughed. “Very droll. Ha! This one's a comedian. No, not minutes, hours! So, if you have to use the john, do so now or forever hold your pee.”

“Oh dear,” you mumbled, slightly regretting your decision to help out. However, you weren’t gonna chicken out now, you really wanted to see the moon.

You hopped into the ship and took a seat.

“Who’s she?” The alien asked.

“I’m Y/n. The sorceress, but, uh, you can’t tell anyone that last part. Toby thought I could help, so here I am.”

“Well, I’m Stuart. Welcome aboard,”

~~~~

You yawned, waking up to hear the same song playing that you had fallen asleep to. “How long have I slept?” You asked, confused. In your sleep deprived state you had expected yourself to get a lot more, but the song was still playing.

“Most of the journey,” Krel said.

Aja groaned. “Why do I feel like I've heard this song a thousand times?”

“Ah, ah, ah! It is Uncle Stuey's turn to pick the music,” Stuart said.

“But I'm the-“ Krel started.

Stuart cut him off. “Yes, yes, king-in-waiting. It's a nice try. Out here, rules of the road, thank you very much.”

“But there are no roads,” Krel protested.

“I'm so bored!” Aja groaned.

“Are we there yet?” Krel asked.

“No,” Stuart said and you sighed.  

“Are we going to be there soon?” Aja asked.

“No,” Stuart replied.”

“How much longer?” Krel asked.

“Not for a while,” Stuart answered vaugly, which was beginning to annoy you.

“Like, ten mekrons?” Aja asked and you wondered what a mekron was.

“No.”

“Twenty mekrons?” Krel suggested.

“No!” Stuart snapped.

“Thirty mekrons?” Aja asked.

“We'll get there when we get there! Oi!” Stuart yelled. The ship settled into silence again and you decided it was time to try your hand at entertaining the kids.

You did a few magic tricks, mostly creating things with magic, but they were entertained nonetheless.

~~~~

Krel chuckled. “Huh.”

“What?” You asked, turning away from the game of chess you had created using magic.

Krel gestured out the window where you could see earth and the sun rising behind it. It was a beautiful sight.

Aja yawned, as Krel woke her up. “If you're waking me up, we better be there,” she threatened.

“Come on! You're gonna wanna see this,” Krel said excitedly.

“Oh, lively!” Aja breathed.

“You know, for a dump heap, it's really quite beautiful,” Krel admitted and you gave him a look.

Aj smiled. “Or as Vex would say, glorious.”

You continued to admire the planet when you heard gas hissing from Stuart.

“Ah!” Krel cried.

You plugged your nose. “Really?”

“Ah! Stuart!” Aja scolded.

“That was rank, even for you,” Krel said.

“The fact that you'd assume immediately that it's me, it's really very offensive,” Start said as he pulled down towards the moon's surface. You marveled at it.

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the first sorceress to step foot on the moon,” you said excitedly.

Aja patted your back. “Lively.”

Stuart called you over to the computer screen. “According to the computer, there appears to be an anomaly in quadrant two hundred and forty five, here in sector fourth five.”

The spaceship docked, and you, Aja, and Krel rushed out of the spaceship. You were glad to finally be out of the cramped ship.

Aja gasped. “Get me out of here!”

Krel        took a deep breath. “I can't take it anymore!”

“I can breathe!” You cried.

Aja jumped to the ground, but she instead hovered in the air. “A moon with low gravity. So lively!”

Krel jumped after her. “I got you, I got you!”

Aja sighed. “Great, but who's got you?”

Stuart jumped up to get them and he sighed contentedly as they floated to the ground. “Ah! I forgot how much I love it here. You weigh less, you've got none of that unnecessary oxygen clogging up your respiratory system.”

They reached the ground, landing in front of you. “Y/n how are you breathing?” Krel asked, suddenly realizing the lack of oxygen.

“Magic,” you said vaguely. “I cast a spell when I realized we were going to the moon.”

Krel nodded as the four of you continued walking.

“Zadra's ship! Alpha must have taken it when he captured Vex!” Krel stated excitedly. You and Krel had exchanged life stories on the long ride over, so you knew what he was talking about.

“Then the intel from that hammer guy was right. They're here,” Aja said.

The siblings went to walk away, but Stuart grabbed them. “Yeah, whoa, whoa! Easy there! This is the Hunter's Guild Lunar Outpost, where the most dastardly bounty hunters in the galaxy refuel and reload. It's also got a temporary prison. Humans would call it a drunk tank.”

“Oh yuck!” You exclaimed, you did not want to deal with a bunch of intoxicated aliens.  

“I get it! It's a rough crowd,” Aja said, shrugging off Stuart's hand.

“Which is why we're going to stick to the plan, thanks to Toby and Darci,” Krel said, spinning the box and tossing it. He held his arms out for the box, but it took awhile for it to fall. He sighed. “Let's do this.”

Krel took out the mole mascot costume and he put it on while you put a large black cape around you to hide your face and body.

“Oh!” Krel cried as a cup hit him when you walked in.

“Bounty hunters are a touchy lot. You have to stay alert.” Stuart warned.

“You try staying alert without any peripheral vision,” Krel pouted.

“Psst. Zeron Brother, 12 o'clock,” Aja warned. You looked to see a weird coyote looking thing.

The Zeron guy pulled a dagger on the robot. “I didn't order this.” He cut the robots head off and you shuddered. “Heads up, comrades. I have a drink I call the energizer. Light it up, Tronos.”

Tronos laughed. “With pleasure! Bottoms up!”

“Heh, rough crowd,” Stuart chuckled.

“Psst, keep them busy,” Aja ordered as the two of you went to find Varvatos.

The two of you eventually found him after you looked for an aura similar to Aja and Krel’s.

You approached the cell and Varvatos growled. “You enter this cell, Varvatos Vex promises you will only be hastening your own dismemberment.”

“That wasn't the reaction I was looking for,” Aja said smiling.

“Aja? Queen-in-waiting!” Varvatos exclaimed.

“Shh! That guard could come back any mekron,” Aja warned.

“Varvatos thought you were-- What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Krel and I thought a little rescue mission might make for a fun summer vacation,” Aja explained.

“A suicide mission is more like it. This place is replete with bounty hunters! Varvatos did not train you to be this foolish,” Varvatos reprimanded.

Aja grinned. “I'm glad to see prison hasn't changed you, Varvatos.”

Varvatos sighed. “This prison is a fitting punishment for what Varvatos did. Now go, and leave him to rot.”

“Haha, I didn’t come to the moon just to see it. Krel told me all about the amazing Varvatos Vex, I’m here to save you too,” you explained, hoping to encourage the poor Ackaridian.

“And who are you?” Varvatos asked.

“She is Y/n. A sorceress, but you can’t tell anyone that last bit,” Aja explained, obviously losing patience.

“Don’t worry, Aja,” You soothed. “We’ve got this.”

Aja grumbled. “We don't have time for this! As queen-in-waiting, shouldn't I decide what's a fitting punishment?” She cleared her throat. “By order of the Akiridion-Five throne, I grant you a royal pardon. I overturn your banishment and sentence you to the protection of House Tarron. Come home, Varvatos. We need you.”

Aja didn't wait for Varvatos to answer, she blasted the key pad, but it didn’t open the door.

“It's no use. The diavelant laser grid can't be deactivated without the prison guard's key,” Varvatos explained.

Aja began to scream. “What are you doing? You'll alert the guard!” Varvatos warned and you realized what Aja was doing. You began to scream too.

“I'm getting the key,” Aja said.

You didn't have to wait long for the guard to come. “Hey, what's with all the noise down here?”

You and Aja hid and when he walked to Varvatos’s cell she attacked the guard.

Unfortunately the guard fought. Back and you did your best to blast them without hitting Aja. The guard growled when your magic skimmed him.

“This is some rescue, really,’ Varvatos said.

Aja huffed. “A little patience? Or did you forget that part of your warrior training?”

Soon enough the two of you were able to kick the guard towards Varvatos’s cell. “No touching!” Varvatos warned as the guard fell into the wall. He then fell to the ground unconscious. Aja got the key and freed Varvatos.

“Varvatos was wrong to doubt your tactical prowess. It is most impressive.”

Aja smiled. “You taught me well. Wait, you're missing something.”

“Varvatos' serrator?” He laughed as Aja handed him his protractor like weapon. “Oh, how he has missed you, sweet mistress of death!” He kissed his serrator.

“I can't tell if you're happier to see me or your serrator,” Aja laughed. You began to lead them out of the dungeon, but Varvatos stopped.

“Wait. Wait one delson. Where is Zadra?” He asked.

“Come on,” you interrupted. “We need to go, I can hear fighting.”

The three of you made your way to the bar. “A room of Foo-Foo fighters. A battle of the ages!” Varvatos laughed.

“There they are!” Aja said, ignoring him. You ran over to Stuart and Krel.

“Glorious!” Vex yelled, as he watched the fight between what appeared to be all the bounty hunters.

A robot that looked like a rabbit found a gun and started firing it while you hid. “Die, die, die, die, die, die!” It yelled.

“Vex, wow! Looks like someone's been getting beefy in the clink. Really digging the lats, brah. Boom-boom!” Stuart joked.

“Hello, Stuart,” Varvatos said, but he didn’t seem too excited. His eyes lit up though when he saw Krel. “Your Highness!”

Aja interrupted the reunion. “Run now, reunions later.”

“Varvatos approves of this plan.”

The rabbit robot continued yelling. “Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die--“ Varvatos jumped out at him. “I'm dead.”

Varvatos grabbed the rabbit and began to spin it around. “Now come get some!” Varvatos challenged.

“Let’s go!” you called, creating a shield around your group as Varvatos took care of the bounty hunters.

“Varvatos thanks you for the light exercise,” he called as you left the bar. You burst out of the doors only to stop when the low gravity made you run slower.

“Varvatos Vex!” The coyote bounty hunter yelled. “Your death is mine!”

“Glorious!” Varvatos yelled only to be slowed as he exited the building. “The gravity here is most unhelpful.”

“Kleb!” Krel cursed.

“Yah! They're mine!” Coyote guy slammed the doors to the bar, keeping the other bounty hunters out.

“Hurry! He's right behind us!” Aja called.

“If we want a shot at outrunning these guys, we should take Zadra's Stryker,” Krel said, pointing.

“Hey, what are you trying to imply about my ship?” Stuart protested. You ran towards Zadra’s ship only to stop when it exploded.

“Ah!” Krel sighed. “Oh, but I'm sure we can make it work.”

“You three, go ahead. Varvatos Vex will hold him off.”

“We came all this way, we're not leaving without you,” Aja said.

“Alpha killed Varvatos' family. Varvatos must end this.”

“Now give Alpha a glorious death,” Aja encouraged, running off.

You made it to the ship and helped Aja up.

“Is no one gonna back up Vex?” Stuart asked.

Aja shook her head. “The Zerons killed Vex's family. This is his fight.”

You hopped into the ship to help get it ready, just in case you had to make a hasty getaway.

You heard shouting outside.

“Do you think he's winning?” Stuart asked. You heard something hit the ship. “It sounds like he's winning.”

The lights outside the ship turned off and you heard Varvatos grunt.

“Any idea what's going on out there?” Aja asked, concerned for her friend.

“Still too dark to see,” Krel said.

It got quiet. “I’m going out there,” Aja said.

“Me too,” Krel agreed.

“Here,” you cast a spell that lit up the hanger. Aja nodded to you and left.

Eventually they came back and you smiled at them. “Who’s ready for the up to thirty hour journey home?” You asked, sarcastically excited.

~~~~

You watched the window as earth steadily got closer. While space was fun, you really missed earth.

“Varvatos must admit, he is looking forward to returning home. If you were to grant him that honor, despite his own failings.”

“Hey, we've all made mistakes and we've all lost people that meant the world to us,” Krel consoled.

“But the three of us are a family,” Aja said and you smiled, it was sweet seeing them happy. You were glad you could help.

Stuart cleared his throat and you all chuckled. “And Stuart,” Aja added.

“And Varvatos will not fail his family again.”

You watched as Stuart pulled you closer to Arcadia and you were excited to see your home. That excitement suddenly disappeared when someone shot at you.

“Somebody is shooting at us!” Varvatos yelled.

“But who?” Stuart asked.

“Maybe it’s the government lady,” you suggested, falling as Stuart did his best to make a crash landing.

You coughed as the door opened and Stuart fell out. “Uncle! Uncle! We come in peace. Ah! Ouch.”

“I thought you were an enemy ship! I could have killed you!” An Acaridian who you believed was Zadra said.

“Well, you... you definitely tried,” Stuart pouted.

Aja cleared her throat and Zadra came over to her.

“What? You said you were at a sleepover,” Zadra said.

Aja laughed sheepishly. “I am sorry. I feel bad about that.”

“You have no idea how much I worried! I nearly took up knitting!” Zadra said and you laughed.

“Such is the pain of raising teen-agers,” Varvatos said as he came out of the ship.

Zadra narrowed her eyes at Varvatos. “I didn't ask for your opinion, nor did I authorize the rescue of a traitor.”

“He's family. We had to rescue him,” Aja protested.

“We will discuss your actions later. For now, I fear a far greater battle lies ahead,” Zadra said ominously. You heard your phone beep from your pocket and you checked the message.

You sighed. “As much as I’d love to stay and hear about this great battle, I’ve got to get going. Thanks for bringing me along.”

“Any time Y/n,” Stuart said.

“Thank you for assisting,” Varvatos said.

You smiled and turned to Aja and Krel. “If you need anything just call me. I’m here to help, okay?”

“Thank you, Y/n,” Aja said, hugging you.

“Of course. Just send me a text if you need to. I’ll be visiting my brother Jim in New Jersey next week, but I’ll still be available to talk.”

“Bye Y/n, thank you!” Krel called as you walked away. You turned and waved at them before settling in for the long walk in the heat to the bookstore. You were glad Douxie had air conditioning.

~~~~

“Where’s my darling?” You asked, walking into the book shop.

“Up here!” Douxie called and you followed his voice to his living room. Mao was curled up with Archie next to Douxie.

“Aww, see you had nothing to worry about,” you said, gesturing to the adorable kitten sleeping peacefully.

“At first she was a little hesitant, but she warmed up to him,” Archie said.

“Of course she did, I never had any doubts.” You took a seat next to Archie and leaned back into the couch. It was pretty comfy and his home was so cold.

"So, what was the errand that called you out in the middle of the night?" Douxie asked.

"I went to the moon," you said excitedly. "I made friends with these nice kids who are from a planet far from here. They needed to rescue their friend from a bounty hunter's hide out on the moon. It's a long story."

Douxie chuckled. "Huh, who knew."

"Arcadia has a lot to offer." You smiled brightly, it warmed your heart that Douxie didn't even hesitate to believe you. You had really fallen for him. He was just so great.

~~~~

The two of you continued chatting for quite a while longer until you grew tired.

The past few days had been very eventful for you and it has been over a month since the eternal night so you were out of routine. Not only had that made you tired, it was the crying babies who currently at your household. You adored them, but you where definitely much more tired than normal.

Archie and Mao cuddled up close to you and Douche brought you a blanket and pillow. He understood what it was like to be exhausted and he wanted to do his best to help you feel better. Unbeknownst to you he really cared for you. He really liked you.

****

Thank you all for reading, I really appreciate all of you and I hope you have fantastic weekends and stay safe! Next half chapter will be you visiting Jim in New Jersey, so stay tuned for that next week!! 💕

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

P.P.S. I'm totally open for requests on fluffy half chapters! If you have any ideas for the half chapters send them in and I'll do my best to include them.

[f33itan]

💛⚜️Pᴀʀᴛ 1: Tᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ɪs Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ⚜️💛 (From my Wattpad)

A/N: Ok, this was something a mutual of mine said here on Tumblr, and I decided to write a oneshot about it. Might be very VERY slight angst, nothing bad enough to actually be put under that umbrella though, anyways, enjoy this, and ty for the reads! :)

CW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEGRADATION, AND MORE FOUL WORDS THAN USUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

B/N: Your Mother's boyfriend's name

M/N: Mother's name

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

"Oi, Y/N! Go get me another pack of beer from the store!"

"Yes father!" Damn that pig looking bitch. I'm just some fucking girl, trying to protect her mom from this demon of a person! Heck, he's not EVEN a person! He's the devil himself!! Man, I wish dad was here...

When you were in about 7th grade, your real father got killed in a massacre a couple cities over. He was not only a police officer, but a great father and husband as well. He treated you and your mother amazingly, and you thought life couldn't get anymore perfect, but soon that all went down hill. After his death, your mother's health depleted and she felt empty inside. She needed somebody else to make her complete. She decided to call an old friend from high school, and next thing you know he moved in. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but soon enough he was beating you guys mercilessly, enough to leave large bruises and scars whenever you didn't do exactly what he asked, in your eyes though, it was more of an order. You hated being ordered around, but you hated your mother getting beaten around even more. It seemed like a blessing that he hasn't tried to rape her, but god knows what he'll do, he's unpredictable

With all of this happening, you decided to tell him you were doing some "extra curricular" classes in college, but what you were actually doing was taking the Hunter's Exam and learning nen. Your biological father was kind-hearted and fun to be around, but he was also strict and sometimes a bit harsh, though he always meant well. Before his passing, all three of you would go out on the weekends to train, exercise, or do something that would enhance your body power and brain power. Because of this, all of you were exceptionally smart, and bodies all well toned. Sometimes your excursions would be going to a park and practicing a sport, driving to the snow and sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and every once in a while going to another state to zip line, try animal encounters, or take a family friendly class in that state's heritage and customs.

Since you were accustomed to hard core training and events, you thought the Hunter's Exam was quite fun, and was a test to your skills. After that, you were scouted out by a strong nen user by the name of Biscuit Krueger. You and her had lots of fun training, and with her pushing your limits to the utmost best, you turned out to be a specialist.

(Whenever I imagine myself in Hunter x Hunter, this is always my nen type and stuff LMAO)

Your power was called, Black shadow. You could have up to 10 weapons on hand, completely subjected to doing your bidding. These weapons were linked to you through blood, and they were surrounded with a substance that appeared to be black mist. The weapons you most preferred to practice with and use were your katana, blood string, and scythe. You could also make a weapon yours by cutting a fingertip and letting the blood drip onto the weapon, altering the appearance then gaining that black "mist", showing that it was now yours. The downside to this technique was that those "shadows and mist remnants" were your sleep. The darkness in your mind and the shadows all around you were taken and used for that power. In turn, you were always tired, yawning, and had bags under your eyes. Another plus side though was that you had a nen created chamber that had every weapon you owned. A girl can have some fun toys, can't she? You had tools for torture (whenever you took an opportunity to try it), many varieties of weapons, and of course, more snacks. But unlike B/N, you didn't have just fatty snacks. You had regeneration potions, healthy snacks, and special nen created "snacks" to help with different things, which all of these you had collected through pulling some strings. Your mother was worried, but you said it was all just college things. Yeah, just college things..

Ill make that pig bitch pay for what he has done to my mother!

Feitan POV -or whats going on with him- :

"What time, is it.."

"8 AM Fei!"

"Shut up, green eyes, too loud."

"Oh Fei don't be rude! It's mean!"

"That's, the point."

"Oh wait, Shalnark, what this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This... gold string?"

"OI SHALNARK, FEITAN, COME ERE' REAL QUICK!"

"Phinks, what, do you, want-" Phinks just ignored his question and pointed to the TV.

This is Channel 12, reporting live from York New City Town Square. People all over the city are claiming to be seeing a string tied to their left ring finger, leading them to some unknown destination! What is this string? Who put it there?-

"AY AY IM ON TV! THE STRING THINGY JUST LEAD ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND NOW WERE DATING! SUPER AWESOME!"-

I apologize for the interference, but this string appears t be leading people to.. partners? Soulmates? Find out tomorrow morning, this is Amy Starwick from Channel 12, signing out.

"What. The. FUCK."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS HOLY SHIT FEITAN YOU HAVE A SOULMATE!!"

"Nope-"

"YESS YOU DOOOOOOO"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHEERY BITCH-"

"No❤️" Since Feitan was on his last nerve with Shalnark, he decided to stomp over towards Chrollo in the main room, but Chrollo just chuckled.

"Wanna go find your soulmate? See if that things real?" Feitan just stared at the ground, lightly shifting his feet.

"Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Just, doing it, out of, curiosity."

"Mhm, curiosity, go find them." And with that, he was dismissed. Feitan wanted to say it was curiosity, but deep down he had this feeling there was something else, but what was it? It made his stomach tingle and he didn't like it one bit. He tried to ignore all of this, and just shrugged it off...

꧁꧂꧁꧂TimeSkip to Next Day꧁꧂꧁꧂

Your POV + some Feitan POV:

"Alright, today's the day, he'll be at his work, and on his break, i'll set the plan in motion.." Both me and mom don't like him, and I don't know about her, but I sure hate him, every ounce of him. The plan is simple: 1. Capture mom's boyfriend, 2. Take him to an abandoned building, 3. Torture him and get all of the answers I need, and 4. Kill him. His break is at 12, and he usually goes to get takeout every other Friday, what a pig. I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

Time: 11:30 AM

Ok, I have everything ready. Fully energized to the utmost extent, Elixirs to bring him back in case he passes out too early, and- what? He's leaving for lunch early? PERFECT! You ran behind some buildings and hid in a two-way alleyway, waiting for him to pass by...

Here we go..

One..

Two..

THREE!

You covered his head with a sack, and took his phone out of his back pocket. Before heading over to your post, you laced the inside of the sack with some sleeping powder and pressed it against his nose and mouth. Within moments he passed out, and you typed in what you hoped to be his password, which was correct. Around 12:30, you were going to text one of his coworkers that he would be "going to a restaurant across town, and ditching work for a day, not wanting to see his stupid good for nothing girlfriend or his dumb daughter." You knew he called you both this because of going through his text messages when he wasn't looking or when he was sleeping. Little did you know that somebody was watching you from afar.

"Hmm... So, she, my, what do people, call it.. soulmate? Seems, interesting..."

Time: 12:00 PM

"Jesus, I new he was a fat ass but I didn't know he weighed this much!" You were tugging him from his legs through the back ways of York New. You wanted to find a secluded area, where once you were done with him you could just toss him somewhere for the birds and maggots to eat. After walking for what seemed like hours, you came across a set of abandoned buildings, specifically the one you laid out some extra things. A couple extra weapons, some towels, a change of clothes, a chair and some rope, a couple of flashlights, and of course, some snacks. Lucky for you, the douchebag you've been dragging around like a rag doll was still out cold, so you picked him up and tossed him on the chair, tying his wrists, ankles and neck to the chair.

"Maaannn, this is boring!! When the hell are you gonna wake up?!" As if on queue, you saw his eyes start to flutter open, and you immediately grabbed your box cutter. It wasn't a weapon used by your nen, but it was quite effective.

"What.. who.. wait- Y/N!? WHAT THE FUCK?! UNTIE ME NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!!" you didn't notice it, but Feitan was watching from the building over.

What, the fuck? Why she kidnap him? That pig? Why? Confusing, gotta keep, watching.

You shoved the box cutter into his left cheek, and you bathed in the glory of hearing his screams of pain.

"How does this feel, you bitch? Everything you've done to my dear mother, everything you've done to me, and heck, YOU WERE PROBABLY BEHIND MY DAD'S MURDER DURING THAT FUCKING MASSACRE!!" B/N noticed the tears in your eyes, and took this to his advantage.

"So what if I was? Both of your parents were pathetic anyways."

"NO THEY AREN'T! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY MOTHER'S LIKE THIS NOW! YOUR THE FUCKING REASON FOR EVERYTHING SHITTY THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!"

"Heh, hehe.. hahaHAHAHA! YOU KNOW GOD DAMNED WELL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE PATHETIC! WANNA KNOW WHY I GOT WITH YOUR MOM!? BECAUSE SHES HOT. AND SHE HAD GOOD MONEY FROM YOUR FUCKING DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO?! YOU KNOW WHY I TOOK OFF EARLY TODAY?! I WAS GONNA RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND MAKE YOU WATCH, THEN KILL BOTH OF YOU AND RUN OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR MONEY!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?! I DON'T HAVE ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. REGRET. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAD, YOU SOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE NERVE TO DO THIS, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!!"

You couldn't handle this anymore, tears were falling down your face rapidly as you grabbed the duct tape and closed his mouth shut.

"I don't give a fuck about what you say.. I'm going to kill you here. This is your grave. Someday, I'll join you in hell, and when I do, I'll torture you again, and the Devil will laugh. You just watch and ducking wait you, you.. PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG ASS SLOPPY ASS NASTU FUCKING BITCH!" With that, you grabbed a couple super worms in each hand and shoved them into his ears. Even with the duct tape, you could hear his screams of agony as the worms dug deeper into his ears. You then got our your katana and slashed him across the stomach, and shoved even more worms into that open wound of his. Quickly, you poured a large bottle of the elixir you had brought over him to keep him from dying so quickly. Box cutter still in hand, you carved small lines all over his arms and legs, then ripped off the tape to hear his desperate cries. You imagined he wanted to be dead, but you didn't care. His pain and you pain mixed together and you just started laughing. You through your head back and let yourself laugh. all of the pain this man has caused you and your mom will be repayed today.

But the pressure and stress was too much to handle. Your laughing of victory soon turned into screams and more tears, as you let yourself fall to the ground, not even noticing you didn't hit it hard, something had caught you, or someone..

What the shit am I doing?

Am I really going to kill him?

What's wrong with me?

What will mother think?

What would dad do?

What am I doing with my life?

You soon snapped out of all of those negative thoughts though, as you noticed something caressing your face lightly.

"Rest, now. He, won't die, so quickly. I'm, Feitan." You were a sniffling and crying mess, so all you could do was rush into Feitan's chest and cry. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had no idea what he was doing, for he had only seen this kind of skin on skin contact in movies. So, he did what those people in the movies did.

"Don't, worry... It's all, going to be.. okay."

Word Count (Including author notes, etc) : 2251

-Wrote February 3, 2021-

Unedited sorry about that lol-

Part 1...

[kpopaddicted06]

My lucky day - one shot

Summary: I just meet him, I don’t even know his name but my heart beats faster just thinking about him.

pairing: Stray Kids’s Lee Minho x reader

genre: strangers to lovers au

type: fluff, slight angst, slight comedy

words: 3.9k

warnings: none

A/N: Hey guys!! This is my first time writing something, so please bear with me (also english isn’t my first language). Hope you’ll like it and feedback is always welcomed! Thanks for taking time to read it!

I was awakened by my annoying alarm at 6:30AM. I got out of my bed and entered the bathroom that’s inside my room, took a quick shower and then prepared to go out for a walk in the park with my dog Kkami, before my first class starts today. I was dressed in a white t-shirt, blue jeans, a black leather jacket and my favourite pair of black sneakers. I got my phone, the key of my apartment and put the leash on Kkami; finally at 7:02AM I left the apartment after I made sure to lock it.

The park was quiet this morning and the sunrise was coming up. Inside the park were only a few people jogging because it was still early in the morning. I like it when I’m outside with Kkami, it’s so relaxing and it energizes me for the day. I was near the middle of the park when I heard a few voices laughing a bit too loud so I turned my head in the direction of where the sound was coming. There I saw a group of boys, probably about my age. They were really good looking, and I didn’t realise I was staring at them until when I realized one of them looking back at me with amusement in his eyes.

Fuck I got caught staring! This is so embarrassing...

I felt my face turning pink from blushing out of embarrassment. The boy was still looking at me, but now he had an unreadable look on his face. I started to walk faster and left the park earlier than usual.

When I got back home I put some food and water in Kkami’s bowls and made a sandwich for myself. While I was chewing it my mind got back at the boy from earlier and at how handsome he really was. I was thinking if maybe I would meet him again in park another day. When I finished my meal I put the plate in the sink to wash it later. It was 8:30AM already, I was having my first class at 10AM so I took my backpack from my room, said goodbye to my cute little dog and left the apartment. I decided to walk instead of taking the bus today as I had enough time, so I could buy my favourite drink too, a latte macchiato from the coffee shop that was on the way to my college.

When I entered the shop, the smell of coffee hit me and made me smile instantly. I got in line to order, there was only one person before me so I didn’t have to wait for too long. I told the worker what drink I wanted and paid for it. He told me it will take 5 minutes to be done so I waited patiently on a chair. While looking out the window, I heard the ‘ding’ from the door announcing another costumer coming in. I turned my head in the direction of the door just to see the same guy from earlier in the park, accompanied by just a few of his friends, now coming in. I immediately turned my head so he won’t see me, but to my luck my name was called because my latte was ready, so I had to go to the counter next to them. All their heads turned and looked at me for a second but only he made eye contact with me for a moment before I heard somebody clear their throat, the poor worker was still waiting for me to get my drink and leave. After I got it I bid my goodbye and left quickly, but not before stealing another glance at that boy just to see him already looking at me but this time he was giving me a smile, making me realise he was looking really cute, like a bunny. Seeing his smile made my lips curve almost automatically in a smile mirroring his. Seeing me smile back at him, he sent me a wink and then turned to place his command when the boys called him but unfortunately I didn’t catch his name. After leaving the coffee shop I was a blushing mess because of that cute guy and I don’t even know his name...

I walked to my university with that boy’s smile still in my head, and I didn’t even heard my best friend calling my name a few times.

“Why are you so happy in this morning? Did you got your day off from your job?” Dahyun asked me sensing already that something good happened because I’m usually grumpy in the mornings.

“No, actually is something better!” I was grinning at Dahyun who was still waiting for me to say the reason of my sudden happiness.

So I started to explain my two encounters from this morning with the mysterious boy who’s name I still needed to find out.

“OMG! Which were the chances to meet twice already? But why didn’t you ask for his name or number the second time you meet? What if you won’t see him again? What if you only had this chance to make your first boyfriend so you won’t die alone?” Dahyun started to ask a lot of questions, but I cut her off offended when she said that I need a boyfriend so I won’t die alone.

“Hey! I won’t die alone just because I don’t have a boyfriend, I have my baby Kkami! So don’t start with your theory that a boyfriend would make me happier!” I say loud and smake her arm to shut her up, already feed up with her suggestions that I need a boy in my life.

“I was just saying that again because your smile was so bright when you told me about him, I can see clearly that you like him already... You know I just want you to be happy, because after your brother left in Europe your mood was down and you were smiling less...” Dahyun was looking down not facing me anymore, she knows I’m getting sad when I’m thinking about my brother who left because he didn’t like living here where our parents would nag him from everything he was doing wrong.

“Ok maybe you are right.... I should try looking for him maybe tomorrow at the park and ask his name at least.”

“Yay!! You will finally make a boyfriend so I can tease you about it!” she was grinning like a fool at me now. I just looked at her with my best dead glare I could muster up and left for my class that was opposite of her because we are in different majors. I could hear her saying “sorry” and a “see you later” while laughing at my reaction.

I finished my 10-12 class and left in the direction of the canteen where I will have my lunch with Dahyun. At the lunch she was still teasing me that I finally took interest in a boy and that she’s proud of me for growing up because I’m her baby and I was so close to beat her up so she could shut up already. When I finished my food I was so happy I could leave from Dahyun because she was starting to give me a headache when she got too far talking about my sex life.

I finished my classes for the day at 4PM, I took the bus home so I could arrive faster to feed Kkami, leave my backpack home and go to my workplace. I’m working at an arcade from 5PM to 9PM from Monday to Friday and in weekends I’m working from 8AM to 2PM.

I like working there because my boss is really good and lets me play games and eat food for free, and all the work I need to do is supervise the people so they won’t break the game machines and to serve them the food they buy.

It was a quiet night because it was Tuesday, and the most people that are coming here are kids and they have school, so it’s busier in the weekends. It’s boring because only a few people are inside playing games right now, so I decided to go on my social media account to distract myself so the time would fly faster. After 2 hours on my shift, a group of boys walked in and my heart skipper a beat when I saw it was the same group I meet in the park and the coffee shop this morning.

They all greeted me at unison and I shyly greeted them back while asking if they would want something to eat while playing games.

The one who answered me was the boy I had in my mind the whole day.

“I want 8 packs of ramen and 8 cans of Coca-Cola, please.” He was flashing me his charming smile while locking eyes with me. Oh God…not only he is gorgeous but his voice was like music to my ears.

“O-of course, that would be $67 and I will bring it to you when the ramen it’s done.” I said smiling shyly and embarrassed from my shuttering because his gaze on me made my heart beat like crazy against my rib cage.

He was smiling wider after my response. “Thanks, pretty.” He said while giving me the money. Then he left to join his group of friends, leaving me there with my face all red like a tomato probably, after hearing the nickname.

After 20 minutes I got all the ramen done for them and I put all 8 packs on 2 trays and started to make my way to them but I was struggling with so much ramen and almost dropped one on the floor, but to my surprise a hand catched it before that could happen. Before my eyes was again the good looking boy who just saved me from my struggle. He took one of the trays without saying anything to me and helped me give them to his friends. When we were done he came with me to put the tray back.

“Thank you for helping me…” I said while biting my lower lip and looking down because I couldn’t make eye contact due to my shy personality.

I felt two fingers under my chin trying to raise my head up so I could look at his face. He was closer than I expected, I felt flustered and I could feel my blood going up to my cheeks. Up close I could see his beautiful dark brown eyes that were shining. He has very long eyelashes, his lips are plump and look so soft, making me want to kiss him to confirm it but I snap out of my staring when he says “It’s rude to stare, you know?” I cough and murmur an apology at that. “Do you need something else?” I ask as I try to put some distance between us, but he doesn’t let my chin go and he gets even closer than before. “Yes. I want your name and number.” I swear my heart just stopped beating right at that moment and I forgot how to breathe. The guy I just meet today and catched my interest wanted my number... I can’t believe my luck today! “Well my name is Y/F/N and about my phone number, before I give it to you I should know your name too, don’t you think so?”  I ask more confident now because I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. “Of course. My name is Lee Minho and it’s a pleasure to meet you three times in a day already, beautiful.“ There goes my confidence right out the window because of that stupid nickname, making my poor heart suffering too much for one day already. Even his name is perfect and suitable for his God like looks. I gulp and try to look unaffected by his closeness. “Give me your phone then, Minho.” He hands me his phone, our fingers brushing in the process and I blush a little again. I save my number and send a message to myself quickly to have his number too, then hand his phone back to him. “Thanks. I will message you later, Y/N.” I liked the way my name sounded coming out of his mouth. After that he went back to his friend to play games, while I kept stealing glances in his way to see him sometimes.

After another hour or so, Minho and his group of friends left and the place became quiet again. Until my shift ended I eated a pack of ramen too because it was free thanks to my kind boss, so why not. After I finished cleaning I got my things and left home. Kkami jumped on me when I entered my apartment, happy to see me again after so many hours alone. I feed him again and left to take a shower and change in my pajamas. When I was done it was already 11PM so I went at my desk to write at my easy that’s due in a week. While I was writing I got a notification. A message from Minho! I unlocked my phone and opened the message.

I can't believe he just asked me out on a date! OMG!!

After the message from Minho I couldn’t focus on my task anymore, so I went to bed and sent a message to Dahyun, informing her about my date on Saturday and ask her for help, to which she of course agrees. The rest of the week went faster now that I was waiting for my date. While doing my shift at work, I observe it’s almost 12PM, which means that I should still have 2 more hours of work to do, but I asked my boss for permission to leave earlier today, to which he agreed, saying he would handle the arcade and I promised I would work 2 more hours tomorrow and thanked him. The clock was 12:00PM now so I quickly got my things and headed home where I will meet my best friend to help me get ready for the date.

Dahyun did my make-up natural and my hair in curls. She picked for me to wear a baby pink summer dress with white sandals, since it was May now, so it's warm enough outside for a dress. When I was ready I looked at my reflection in the mirror and I thought I looked good enough for a first date.

"Thanks for the help, Dahyun!"

"You’re welcome and good luck on your date!"

We hugged each other and I left my apartament after taking my purse, letting her stay over with Kkami because she wanted to study but couldn't at her home, as her 8 year old sister would bother her, that plus she wanted to hear the details of my date as soon as possible. When I arrived at the set place it was 3:03PM already. Minho didn't say exactly where we would meet in the park but I got a feeling he was referring to the place we first saw each other a few day ago. But when I got there I didn't saw him nowhere. I was about to reach my phone to call him when I felt a hand on my waist. I quickly turned to see who it was and I was welcomed by Minho’s beautiful smile.

"Hi. You look gorgeous."

"Hi! You look handsome too." I got a better look at him, he was wearing a white shirt, black jeans and sneakers. His hair was parted and I could see his forehead, he was wearing earrigs and a chain to complete his look; in conclusion he was breathtaking. He took my hand in his and started to head out of the park.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." He said smiling, but I could sense he was a bit nervous about the surprise he told me about.

He took me to the mall and I thought maybe we will go to eat something or see a movie, but I didn't expect him to enter an Animal Coffee Shop. He looked at my face searching for any hints of dislike to his surprise, and when he saw my happy expression he started to talk.

"First time I saw you was at the park, you were walking with your dog, that by the way is very cute, and the second time we met was at the coffee shop so I thought this place would be perfect for our first date. What do you think?"

"I love it! So what’s your favourite animal?"

"Cats, I love cats! Actually I have 3 at home!" He looked so excited to talk about his cats and I loved listening to him talking about them. We continued to talk about our animals and then about us. I found out that he's 3 years older than me, that he always hangs out with the other seven guys I saw him with before because they’ve been best friends for a few years already and that his major is in dance. I asked him to show me his dancing skills and he promised to show them on our next date, to witch I happily accepted. After we played more with the animals and finished our coffee, which Minho ended up paying for after we had a little argument about who’s gonna do it, we left the shop, promising him I’ll pay next time.

After our amazing time at the animal coffee shop we walked by the Han River and he bought us ice cream. I felt very relaxed and comfortable all the time we talked. I opened very easily to him and I felt like I’ve knew him for years. He is very funny and I realised he has a 4D personality. Minho walked me home after some more time spent by the river.

"I had a great time today, thanks Minho!"

"Me too. See you next week. Good night, princess." He said, then leaned to kiss my forehead.

"Good night." I murmured shyly and I could swear I heard him whisper a "cute". After that he left and I entered my apartment where Dahyun jumped on me and started asking a ton of questions like always and I told her that I had a great time and we are planning already our next date to which she was really happy to hear. She spent the night with me so we could talk more and have a movie night, which I regretted agreeing to because I had to work the next day.

Me and Minho have already been on four dates and all of them were incredible. On the second date we went to karaoke so he could show me his dancing and to hear his singing. I was shocked and very impressed because he's really talented and I could see his passion and love for what he’s doing. On the third date I meet his friends and ended having a game night with them all. I learned that all of them are dancing and singing, and that they’re really funny and kind. I really liked his friends, and I think they like me too since they invited me to their movies night next Friday. On our fourth date we went to an amusement park where Minho won me a bunny plush.

Now it was the time for our fifth date and I could see that Minho was a little bit nervous, and I didn't understand why. We were at the Han River to have a picnic and Minho looked like he wanted to say something but he’s hesitating, he looked lost at the river so I tried to help him.

"Minho?"

He snaped his head in my direction even more nervous now.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to say something? Because I can see how nervous you are. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I talked softly to encourage him to speak. He noded his head and a sight escaped his plumps lips.

"I actually have a question to ask you..."

I noded my head for him to continue. He was chewing nervous on his lower lip, then suddenly took my hands in his and locked eyes with me.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” He looked in my eyes hopeful.

“Of course!” I said smiling and blushing a little bit. Then he started leaning in and my breath got caught in my throat. He was close that I could even count how many eyelashes he has, I could feel his breath on my lips and at that moment I closed my eyes anticipating the feeling of his soft looking lips on mine. Minho closed the remaining distance between us and the moment I felt his lips on mine, I felt butterflies in my stomach. His lips were soft and gentle moving against mine, I  was  captured in the feeling of his lips like a speel that was put on me, so I could only focus on the kiss. When he started putting more pressure and titled his head to deepen the kiss my mind just went crazy. I kissed him back with the same passion he did and I could feel him smile against my mouth. When we broke the kiss to catch our breath we stayed with our foreheads against each other.

This was our first kiss and I realised that he wanted me to be his girlfriend before we kissed, I thought that’s really cute from him.

“I like you, Y/N.”

“I like you too, Minho.”

He kissed me again but this time was shorter that the first and when I leaned back to kiss him again he turned his head so I kissed his cheek instead. I pouted and he laughed at my reaction and started to smooch my cheeks saying that I’m cute.

“I will kiss you later don’t worry, but first you need to eat because I put a lot of effort in cooking those dishes.”

“You cooked all this? Because you know, the last time I saw you trying to make something you almost burned down the kitchen...“ I raised an eyebrow at him. He blushed a little embarrassed at the memory.

“Well, I got help from the boys too...”

“Oh! I missed seeing you struggling in the kitchen with the boys then. That’s a shame!” I laughed louder when I saw he’s pouting from my teasing and I kissed his nose before I started eating. At that moment his pout was replaced by his cute bunny smile.

“Wow! This is actually really good! Thanks for cooking for me Minho, I really appreciat it.” I smiled happily at him.

“I’m glad you like it, princess.” The smile he gave me was so genuine that I could feel his feelings for me from it, and that warmed my heart.

I feel really lucky that Minho entered my life, because he’s making me really happy. Seeing his smile makes me want to keep him happy forever. I really like him and I can say that I’m already falling in love with him even after just one month of knowing him. I can almost say that I love him and I can see his feelings are the same for me from the way he looks at me and his gestures thowards me.

masterlist

[masseffecthoe]

Forbidden starfruit

Wanted to write a little one shot, plotless porn... so here’s part 1/5 :)) Some plot wiggled itself in, oops. I just wanted the reader not to be a goody two shoes, couldn’t find any fanfics, so I wrote one. Classic story.  Y/N is not evil, but definitely on the morally grey, leaning dark side. Seduction to the grey side if you will.

Spam me any ‘seduction to the dark side’ stories with OC/reader tho, Poe, Kylo, anyone. I crave MORE!

Summary: Poe meets a stranger in a bar. They bang.

Warning: uum the no pants dance. sucking the oyster.

EDIT: AHAHAHA OMG the paragraphs didn’t paste in order!!! FFS... fixed it now >.<

Probably ooc, probably some wrong tech/lore. Wrote for fun.

I like mood boards.

The bar was packed, the music loud and energizing. People were either chatting on the margins, tables full of drinks, or enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Poe checked the time again, remembering to keep his expression relaxed. The informant was almost four hours late, something must have went wrong. Or he'd changed his mind, or perhaps he never existed. It was not everyday that they received intel about the First Order from a supposed deserter - the possibilities were endless and the factors unprecedented.

Everyone thought it might be a trap, but the chances for it were dwindling by the minute. Surely if this was some kind of ploy something would have already happened by then. He took another short sip of his drink - his second cup of ardees already - trying to stall for as long as possible. His eyes wandered over the crowd again, a small smile forming on Poe's lips. It was nice to see them having fun, aliens and humans alike, no worries of the oppressions of the First Order. Or the constant pressure for duty in the Resistance. He felt like he could be a part of that, in a simple pair of trousers and a white T-shirt he could pass as one of the party goers and pretend, for just a selfish moment, that he was carefree.

A flash of red caught his attention and he turned his head, dismissing the previous heavy thoughts. The source of the vibrant color was enticing, the silky fabric of her crimson dress hugging all the right curves as the woman made her way to the opposite side of the bar. Skin glistened in the brighter lights from behind the bar. Two drinks were placed before her and he noticed she was accompanied by another woman, the pair clinking the glasses and gingerly sipping on the neon colored liquid.

Her friend whispered something in her ear and she turned towards him, piercing eyes meeting his for a split second, landing straight on him as if guided by some unknown force. It lasted but a moment, the two women giggling between them the next.

"Something caught your eye, Black Leader?" Poe let out a small sigh and shook his head ever so lightly. He was not supposed to answer and in fact, they were not supposed to use the channel at all, except for an emergency if the whole operation had turned out to be a trap. Chatting about a stranger in a bar did not sound like an emergency. Still, a silly smile played on his lips. How long had it been since he'd done something so... mundane, like going out drinking and meeting a woman who was not also his colleague in the resistance. "Heads up, she's coming your way."

Poe panicked for a moment. He was on a mission! Even if the chances of the informant coming were close to none and at that point and they were about to call it a day, he was still on duty. For about another 15 minutes maybe. The woman could spook the mole, or worse, get caught in some twisted First Order plot that made him waste time and credits in a bar on some nondescript outer planet... Ok, there was probably no evil plot and a beautiful woman was drawing closer.

"Hi. Mind if I sit?" She gestured to the stool beside him. Her voice was smooth and pleasant and she seemed to strain a bit to be heard over the noise. She was pretty, but there was something more to it, something in the way she stood tall and proud, those sharp eyes, playful and wise at the same time.

"I'd be a fool to refuse." Her smile widened and she sat gracefully on the cushion, his eyes immediately drawn to her backside. He snapped them back to her face, but the all-knowing smirk on her plush lips told him he did not go unnoticed.

"I'm Y/N." He reached to shake the outstretched hand, her skin soft against him, but she had a good grip, not as delicate as he'd imagined. His name passed his lips before he could think of an alias, or a reason to use one.

"Poe." He could almost hear Temmin's scoff on the other end of the comms, even if they hadn't been turned them on.

"Nice to meet you, Poe." She almost purred his name and he had to remind himself that they were on a Resistance mission. Focus! "Now tell me, who had the audacity to stand up a guy like you?" He raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask she continued. "I saw you coming in a while ago. Was mustering my courage to come over, but you looked like you were waiting for someone. Didn't want to cause any trouble." Somehow he doubted the last part. He couldn't place the mischievous little glint in her eyes.

"Not used to being the one to make the first move?"

"On the contrary. I've learned in life you have to seize what you desire." Her eyes traveled slowly across him, right hand playing with the rim of her glass.

 "You risk someone else stealing it from right before your eyes. Like I'm doing right now, I suppose. Your date missed the chance, and here you are with me instead."

"Turned out in my favor I'd say." He let his own gaze wander, from the soft features o her face, down the curve of the neck and all the down her low cut of her dress, the valley between her breasts exposed to him.

"We shall see. We've barely met after all, but the night is young." It really wasn't that early anymore, midnight was just hours away. "Tell me about yourself, Poe."

"What would you like to know?"

"Are you a local? You don't look like it, though." There was that look in her eyes again, playful but observant, not letting anything escape her.

"I'm not, I'm from Yavin."

"Long way from home." He shrugged, sipping his drink to give himself time to find an excuse. He'd already given his real name, probably shouldn't follow with 'Resistance pilot' right after. 

"I'm a freighter pilot."

"Ah, hauling goods across the galaxy. You must have seen so many place!" He was not expecting her to be so enthusiastic about it, but he welcomed the attention. For once someone was interested in just him, not the star pilot of the Resistance.

"You wouldn't believe half of them." She scooted over, or maybe he just thought she did, wished it so, but she felt closer nonetheless, lashes fluttering as she fixed him again with her eyes. Her voice was low, like they were sharing a secret, despite the music still blasting around them in the bar.

"Well, what it the strangest place you've seen?" He tried to quickly excluded some of the more famous ex-Empire location and obviously Resistance related ones, but truth was he'd only ever traveled for his work. It was fighting the First Order here and looking thought jedi sites there, endlessly searching for a trace of the Luke Skywalker, one day after the next, it was always related to the conflict between light and dark.

"Probably Telos. The sheer determination to build up a chunk of a planet just to keep it together... it was an impressive sight, motivating." She hummed nodding her head.

"I've always wanted to travel and see everything. So many different ecosystems, cultures, creatures... I get a little sad when I think I'm never going to be able to discover them all."

"You travel a lot then?"

"When the job allows me." She paused and bit her lower lip, drawing Poe's eyes like a magnet. "I'm a glorified errand girl, but I get away with some little excursions." She leaned a little closer still, he could see a faint scar right below her eyebrow, easily missed with a trick of the light. He could feel the genuine excitement in her voice. "I strayed a bit off course once to this planet in the Belderon sector, Lola Sayu. Don't think 've seen anything quite like it... half of it is missing, blown up ages ago, but the atmosphere formed around the missing part, encapsulating it. It made this giant ball, yellow and purple mashed together.

"The Belderon sector? What were doing all the way there?"

"Ok, ok, I strayed a lot off course, like a week maybe, but I just had too see it."

"Seize what you desire..."

"Exactly! We only have one life and we never know when it might end. I plan to make the most of it." Poe stared at the woman for a long moment. She was bright and smart and oh, so beautiful - it was more intoxication than his long forgotten drink. A mouthful of fresh water after days in the desert, her view of the world, simple but joyful, gave him a surge or energy, of hope. Temmin's voce in his ear was low, but the words were exactly what Poe needed to hear.

"You deserve a break, Poe. Our contact ain't coming and we are to leave only in the morning. See you at the ship tomorrow. Black Two, out."

He wasn't sure who leaned in first, but one moment her hand was on his thigh and the next his own hands were cradling her closer, pulling her off her stool and onto his lap. His senses were assaulted all at once, the loud music, the sweet taste of her mouth and the flowery perfume he hadn't notice before. Her lips were soft but the kiss was relentless, both devouring one another, her body pressed so close to his.

She smiled, a little curve of her lips that stirred things in him, that promised passion and a reckless abandonment, and took his hand to pull him along. He craved for more, more kisses, more skin, so he followed without a second thought. She skipped across the street and they hastily made their way to her room on the first floor, stealing kisses in the doorway and on the stairs.

He pressed her against the door as she was locking it, her ass pushing back deliciously. His mouth fell on her shoulder, hands going up her sides, slightly pulling on the fabric of the dress, making her body shiver in anticipation. The damn thing had to come off. Her arms lifted as if thinking the same, so he backed up and pulled the dress over her head with ease. His fingers traced the expanse of her back and hooked on her lace thong pulling it slightly. With a small gasp she turned, eyes dark with lust, only in heels and the flimsy little piece of red lace. Poe couldn't remember a time he had been more turned on.

He kneeled and lifted her leg over his shoulder with little warning. She gasped as his fingers traced the lace, already seeping wet and ready. The thong was pulled aside and his mouth was on her, sucking and biting eagerly, his tongue circling her bud, lapping at her flowing juices. She moaned loudly, her fingers twisting in his hair.

"Not fair..." She panted from above, but her hips bucked towards him. He smirked and pushes a finger inside her, then a second, lifting his head to look at her. She was gorgeous, ragged breaths and knees trembling as he pumped his fingers vigorously, thumb stroking her clit. The obscene sound of her moans and dripping pussy filled the small room, tantalizing. He got up, mouth clasping over a nipple and she arched her back pressing to him, head rolling back against the door as the walls clamped over his digits. Poe backed up barely an inch to look her in the eyes as he brought his fingers to his mouth, needing to taste her one more time. She let out a straggled breath, half sigh half moan and roughly pulled on his T-shirt. "Clothes off. Now."

"Yes ma'am." He was happy to oblige, his dick straining in his boxers, already damp with precum. His clothes flew off unceremoniously, their hands bumping as they both pulled on the fabric, rushed to unzip his pants and pull down his boxers. Hand on his chest, she backtracked him until his legs hit the bed then pushed him on it. Her hands traced up his legs, crawling in between them, eyes never leaving her prize as she laid kisses up his thighs, nails scraping at his skin, closer to where he needed her the most. He took hold of her upper arms and spun them around so she was caged beneath him.

"Not fair." She breathed out a moan as his dick rubbed against her folds. He wanted her, needed her like air.

"Next time."

"Deal." He pushed inside her in one swift move, rougher than he intended, but she let out the most erotic sound he's ever heard, a loud and lewd groan, ringing in his ears as her body purred. Her words slurred from her pretty little mouths in short breaths.

"Shit, Poe, you're driving me, insane." She had no idea what she was doing to him. His mouth was on hers again, drowning her moans as he rocked his hips, plummeting in her core. Her shaking arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer like her life depended on it. He hooked one arm beneath her knee and pulled her leg up, spreading even more, going even deeper. It was raw and desperate, passion in its purest form. Her nails dug at the skin on his back, his name chanted from her lips like a prayer as his rhythm turned merciless. Thank the gods he'd told her his real name. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, nipping and sucking at he tender flesh.

Her eyes rolled in back of her head and his entire body shook above her as her pussy milked his dick with greed, clamping around him like a vice. Their breaths mingled, their skin sleek with sweat, but tingling still. With the last sliver or power he had, Poe rolled on his back and pulled her with him, her leg slipping over his, her hand on his chest. He was still in a daze, but looking at her she was not better, eyes half closed and unfocused, her fingers drawing lazy patters on his chest. He remember bringing her hand to his lips before falling asleep.

He woke up first, Y/N still curled over him, hair sprawled on the pillow behind her. She had pulled a silky sheet over them some time after he passed out. He smiled, lips pressing gently on the top of head. He pulled her closer, almost not believing she was real. She stirred, letting out a contents little sigh, but didn't wake up.

Poe enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms a moment longer, his brows more furrowed by the second, his lips pressed in a thin line. He had to go soon and he didn't know when he would see her again. His hand trailed the smooth skin on her back, not wanting to leave the bed, taking in every detail of her beautiful face. When the sun had finally fully risen there was no more time left.

He went to collect his scattered clothes, his mind running a mile a minute, thinking of how to tell her he was actually in the Resistance, wondering his she will react to him lying about his work, about his identity, but most importantly if she would want to see him again. Gods, he hasn't even left her room yet and he was already dreaming of when he'd hold her in his arms next. Poe smiled, he felt like a teen again, the only care in the world the affection of his lover.

But the world was cruel and he was not a silly boy back on Yavin. He found his T-shirt thrown all the way near her side of the bed and as he bend down to retrieve it, the holopad on the nightstand beeped loudly three times before a robotic voice boomed in the small chamber, the dark figure projecting from it chilling his blood.

"Y/N, I assume the traitor has been dealt with already. You better be on the Supremacy when I arriver to continue our training. You have an hour." Poe's breath caught in his throat, his mind so overwhelmed it first went blank then exploded with the possibilities and implications. The idea that he'd spent the night with one of the First Order's top assets... Did he steal something off him? Had it been a trap? 

His eyes fell on the holopad again, the blinking light showing she had a message. From fucking Kylo Ren! She was training with Leia's kid, she was dark side.

She was evil.

But she couldn't be, could she? 

Poe was so lost in thought he didn't even hear her as she stretched in bed behind him, the yellow glint in her eyes catching in the morning sun as her gaze fell on him.

Chapter 2 >

[ilguna]

Metanoia - Chapter Six (f.o)

Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.

Word Count; 6.2k

Warnings; swearing

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

If for whatever reason, you’d ever have to be a spy, you’d be absolutely fantastic at it. Not only are you quiet, but you’re fairly secretive. You’d be good at a job like that, infiltrating the enemies lines and gathering information just to bring it back to the person who wanted it.

Although, you’re not the one doing that right now, it’s Neysa. She’s the one gathering information from others and bringing it to you to assess as you try to work out this now oh-so complicated plan. It’s so bad, that you might even have to go back on your word about double-alliances.

You throw the blankets off of you, slipping off of the bed. You take one glance at the clock to check the time to see that it’s two in the morning, you’re going to be right on time. To wake yourself up a little bit, you go into the bathroom, turning on the sink. You gather a handful of water before splashing it onto your face.

Using the towel to dry off your face, you toss it onto the counter and then head to leave the room. The door opens automatically for you, and the walk through the hallway is short. You can see the silhouette of Neysa’s body standing by the tv in the living room.

One of your ankles pop, which makes her turn to make sure that it’s you. You can see her shoulders sink a little bit, relieved that it is you, and not someone else. She won’t have to explain why she’s standing in front of the tv on low volume at one in the morning.

“So?” you whisper, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Haymitch says that Peeta says no.” Neysa tells you.

“No surprise there, it was worth a shot. Katniss is probably holding him back.” Which is a good thing, your intentions aren’t to be friends with them, if you get in, you can kill them and then get out.

If they both have managed to set history, then that means that they have to be taken out, it’s as simple as that. They shouldn't be allowed to stay alive longer than a couple of days. You know that Brutus is already on edge, you can only imagine how Gloss and Cashmere are.

You three are like a pack of wild wolves.

However, as you four will be working towards the same goal, it’s for different reasons. They’ll likely want to do it so they can get it off their backs and be able to survive without the worry of Katniss or Peeta sneaking up on you guys. As for you, you can’t just settle with being a two-timing victor.

If you can take out both Katniss and Peeta, then the crown would be pure gold. You’d be looked at differently for the rest of your life. People would practically bow at your feet. If you can take down the people that have broken records, then you’re no one to mess with. 

And on top of that, you want to take down Finnick too. That’s three fucking kills that would make you a ton more deadly and looked up to. The boy who won at the youngest age, and a pair of tributes from an outsider district that got twelves. Just the thought of having power like that in your palms sends a shiver down your spine.

You’d be a living legend. Infamous, people would know your name for years to come.

(Y/n) Rosecelli. Victor of both the sixty-sixth hunger games and the seventy-fifth Quarter Quell. She went up against twenty-three other tributes and came out a winner on both occasions. On top of that, she also took out three record-breaking victors. One of whom was the youngest victor, ever, Finnick Odair. And the only two tributes who have ever received a twelve, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark.

You can see it all now.

“Well, what about Finnick?”

“Said he’d talk to you in person today.” Neysa says, “Will you tell me your plan now?”

You smile a little bit, “Infiltrate the enemy’s alliance. Wipe them out. Go back to my original alliance. Three simple steps.”

Neysa is thinking, until a smile starts to slowly spread over her face, “Smart girl.”

--

Getting out of bed this time is much harder than it was the first time. You would rather just lay here for a little while longer and stare at the ceiling. For once, this feeling of dread belongs to you and not anyone else. And you have a faint feeling on why.

You’re about to be interrogated to hell by the one person you hate the most in the world. He’s going to ask you why you’ve changed your mind so quickly and if he should be weary of anything. And then he’ll ask if he should even trust you, especially after you made your goal very clear; kill everyone and win.

He won’t be dumb enough to accept blindly, which will be a pain in the ass, but you suppose it could make it more fun as well. Having him look over his shoulder, keeping one eye open when he sleeps. Always anticipating your next move.

Why not play with your prey a little bit?

The dread is replaced by your own enthusiasm. You pull yourself out of bed, going to the bathroom to take a shower. The water is burning hot on your skin as you scrub yourself clean with nice smelling soaps. You allow yourself to wash your hair today, since you’ll need to be looking your absolute best today for the interview. Greasy hair isn’t the best quality to have.

When you’re done, you scrunch your hair in one towel, while drying your body with another one. You pull on comfortable clothes since you’ll be changing soon anyway, and go back to your hair immediately after. With a few detangling sprays, the brush goes through your hair as if there were no knots to begin with.

You squeeze out any excess water into the sink. You look as good as you’re going to for now, and you practically skip your way out into the dining room. Only Neysa sits there, coffee mug in her hand. The avox is by the table with food.

“Coffee,” you tell her, she nods and moves into the kitchen to grab it, “Room for creamer, please.”

You take your seat across from Neysa, loading up your plate without a word to her. You begin on a roll, occasionally dipping it into your stew. Every movement feels as if you’re in a hurry. You have to slow yourself down considerably, giving yourself a time limit for when you can take another bite.

When the avox comes over with the coffee the way you like it, you thank her. They’re human as much as you are. If there’s one thing you’re not fond of in the Capitol, it’s the way they use district people as servants for something they’ve done. No matter how bad, they don’t deserve to be treated like that. Not to mention, there are much worse jobs than this for them to take, too.

Actually, the avoxes aren’t the ones picking them out, it’s the officials that run all that for Snow. They’re the ones assigning people based on what they think they’d be good at. Hell, you think that some avoxes aren’t even people from the districts, that it’s people from the Capitol too. Which is weird, considering that the Capitol is supposed to be the favorite.

“Amias will be coming up in thirty minutes to get you.” Neysa says, “Eat quickly, just don’t make yourself sick.”

“Sure.” you say, resuming the pace that you had been going originally.

It’s only ten minutes later when Edmond is coming into the room. He hesitates by the doorway, and then he cautiously takes his seat at the table. Five minutes after that, Brutus is bounding into the room without a care in the world, also taking a seat. The only person that is missing is Theo, thank god.

You’re glad that you haven’t been forced to listen to his fucking voice, it’s an absolute nightmare to deal with.

Once you’re done eating, you ask for another cup of coffee while you wait out the last ten minutes. Today is going to fly by as if it’s not actually happening. It’s the last day of ‘peace and quiet’ before tomorrow, the beginning of the games. It’s like sitting on the edge of your seat.

There’s literally endless possibilities on what the arena will look like tomorrow. You haven’t got a single clue on what it might be. All you do know is that it’s going to be special and deceiving. It’s how the last Quarter Quell went with Haymitch. While you were rewatching the games, they included Haymitch’s games.

Your only guess as to why is because it’s the most recent Quell. They’re throwing you a bone of sorts. Let you know that it’s going to be hell from start to finish. Things are not going to be what they seem.

The landscape was beautiful, the animals, the air, the water, the land. All of it was something out of a dream, it looked like. Until dream turned to nightmare, when the animals turned out to be rabid, and the arena was nowhere near friendly. And that was the year there were forty-eight tributes instead of twenty-four. Not only were the tributes doubled, but everything inside of the arena was working against them.

Haymitch had gotten lucky when he won. His stomach was spilling out of his body, he was quite literally holding it in. As for the girl he had gone up against, she was missing an eye. Blood was running down her face as if it was a new established river. The both of them should have been dead, but one of them threw their weapon over the cliff. It hit the forcefield, and came right back at the girl, nailing her in the forehead.

It’s the only reason why Haymitch had won. He realized that the forcefield was there early on into the games. Utilized it and stuck by the cliff for the rest of them. The girl was just unlucky that she was still standing there when the weapon came firing back.

The sound of an opening door makes you glance over your shoulder. And just like Neysa had promised, Amias stands at the door, “Ready to go?”

You finish off the rest of the caffeine, you now know why Neysa has been so adamant when it comes to drinking this stuff, it really does keep you energized. You set the mug back down before skipping down the steps to Amias.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

She opens the door for you, but doesn’t follow you out just yet, “Brutus, be down there in at least three hours from now, showered.”

“Got it.”

Amias closes the door after that, and the two of you head over to the elevator. She takes care of pressing the buttons, bringing you guys down to the floor where you need to be.

“What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Get you dolled up so you can make an impression on sponsors.” Amias says.

You roll your eyes, “No shit. What am I going to look like?”

“You’ll see.”

Resisting the urge to get snotty with her, you lace your fingers together and stare straight ahead. The elevator doors open, and she takes the lead, bringing you through the hallways. It’s not as empty as it usually is, there are a few people walking around already.

They look like Capitol citizens, so your best guess is that they’re prep teams and stylists. Although, the stylists typically treat the prep teams like they’re under their boots, so the prep teams run the most errands while the stylists sit back and do anything else. The stylists’ jobs are more important though, so it’s no surprise.

Anyway, that doesn’t really matter.

Amias brings you into the room where you had been for the tribute parade. The two guys are already waiting by the chair, looking at you skeptically, until the one that normally does your hair, perks up considerably.

“You washed your hair! Good, did you use all the products they had?” he asks, coming over to feel.

“I thought I’d leave the aftercare to you guys, since I don’t really mess around with that type of stuff.”

“Good decision.” he says, then he looks at Amias, “We’ll let you know when she’s ready for the outfit.”

“I’ll be back soon, (Y/n)” Amias says, leaving the room.

You’re directed to the chair, and the one who does your hair doesn’t really hesitate with getting to work. The other one sits back for now, rummaging through all the makeup that they have on the vanity. He’ll open a pallet, look over it, and then set it back onto the stack that just seems to grow taller and taller.

You watch patiently as your hair is messed with. He starts off with blow drying it, which takes a pretty long time since he’s not using the hot air. He’s got plenty of time to mess around and do what he wants. He leaves it fairly damp, coats his hands in product, and then spreads it through your hair. He doesn’t bother brushing your hair before moving on to the next product.

The hair and makeup are probably going to take forever, which is why Amias slipped out of the room. The tribute parade outfit didn’t take nearly as long or had a hassle like this, because it wasn’t as important. People can hardly see you when you’re on the chariots anyway, since you’re so distanced.

As for the interviews, people are going to see you up close and personal. Every detail that is fucked up will be critiqued harshly, which leads to bad publicity. It takes away sponsors, it dissipates Amias’s good reputation, and suddenly you’re not a favorite anymore.

You just want to get through with getting ready, so you can skip to the part where you’re standing in front of Finnick. You’re quite curious about what he might say now. How he’ll handle everything, and if he’ll take you up on the offer.

Neysa was sure to specify that you wanted both Mags and Finnick as allies, but only to mention it to Finnick so he could make the decision. You were hoping that you wouldn’t have to talk to him face to face, and have the mentors communicate for you guys, but it will be easier to convince him. Maybe you can even play innocent, apologize and say it’s one big act.

As if he or anyone else would believe that now. They know who you are, they know how you won your games. The only thing that you’re genuinely good at--besides everything else that you’re good at--is the fact that you’re deceiving. But you can’t be deceiving to an audience that already knows your plans.

You can sure as hell try, but that will tear away all the work you’ve made. Sponsors will likely go down the toilet. And honestly, since you depend on sponsors to get you by--and you’ll definitely be doing that this year because of the arena--then you can’t really give that up.

Wasn’t a good plan anyway.

You watch as your hair is parted into two, the top half, and the bottom half. The top part starts at your temples, and he pulls it into one ponytail at the back of your head. He then pulls out a ton of bobby pins, beginning to pin a bun in place. When he’s done with that, he pulls some hair out in front to frame your face before using hairspray to keep the top half in place.

He moves onto the bottom, making your hair into loose curls. After each section, he’ll use more hairspray and then move onto the next. This is when the makeup guy finally comes in, getting to work.

You close your eyes to make it easier for him, knowing that you probably won’t be able to see yourself in the mirror in a while anyway, “What time is it?”

“Only two or three hours before interviews start.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Half past one.” the one doing your hair answers, “I’ll be done with your hair soon, and then go and get Amias while you eat something.”

You can’t believe that time has flown that fast. You’d be super surprised, but you did get out of bed by nine, which is pretty late considering all the early starts you’ve been getting lately. Amias more or less threw you a bone by letting you get up that late. 

Brutus is lucky that he doesn’t have to go through as much as you do. He doesn’t even have hair to be messed with.

“Did you see the scores last night?”

“Of course I did, can you believe it?”

“Are you going to sponsor either of them?”

“Are you stupid?” he asks, and then pauses to think, “They’re going to be dead within the first day.”

“Who do you think would be dumb enough to go after them?”

“Me.” you laugh.

“Well--” the one doing your makeup sounds like he doesn’t believe it, “You’d really go after Katniss and Peeta?”

“They’re not that good.” the hair guy says, “Especially not Peeta.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Hair guy laughs, “You only like them because of their love story. Plus, they’re a couple of teenagers, they may be youthful, but they don’t have that much experience.”

“Who do you think that they’re allied with?”

“After we saw what Katniss did last year--probably Mags. I mean, can you really see her with anyone else? She chose a child as an ally and skipped over Peeta entirely.”

“I guess you have a point.”

They’re not wrong, Katniss did get with a child, and you saw her around Wiress and Beetee the first day. And then later on with Mags at the fishhook station. You think that was just before she went to the bow and arrow station. You can hardly remember it because you were still training with the idiot in body armor.

He wasn’t very good at his job.

Anyway, if Katniss is paired with Mags, then that inadvertently pairs her with Finnick too. Which then drags Peeta into that mess as well. It makes sense for them, but you wonder how Johanna and Blight pair into all of this… 

Finnick could have very well been acting like that to throw you off his trail, though. So you should take all this information with a grain of salt. Finnick is a good liar, you’ve seen him in action quite a lot since volunteering. 

But if Johanna and Blight are in this, then that would mean that Peeta brought them in. He seems to have more sense than Katniss does. She chooses the weaker people--people who can’t really fight back if she wants to overpower them. And she doesn’t seem to do that because she does plan to fight them later on, it’s because she wants to look over them.

As for Peeta, he paired with the careers. He’s smart, getting with people that can protect him. When he had first come in with Katniss, his first place to go to was Brutus, Cashmere and Gloss. Then Johanna, and later you during lunch. Like he was trying to set down a base with you guys on purpose.

Well, they did what they had to do. They knew none of you, unlike you guys. You’ve heard about and known each other for years. They’re new to this whole victor thing. It’s a shame that they won’t live to be able to see the rest of it.

They finish hair and makeup at around the same time. You’re given food that isn’t messy and would mess up your makeup--even though he had sprayed a ton of setting spray to keep it all in place. You eat enough, leaving yourself slightly hungry so that you won’t feel nauseous on stage.

Amias comes in ten minutes later with the hair guy. In her hands is a dress-length bag that’s concealing it from sight. Hair guy pulls out a moving closet that’s just a few metal poles on wheels. She hooks the hanger on, and then unzips the bag.

Your mouth falls open, “Jeez.”

Amias looks at you, “Do not disappoint on stage tonight. This is the best dress I have.”

You give her a look, “As if I ever disappoint.”

“Spray some of that glitter in her hair again,” she tells the hair guy, “She’ll need it tonight.”

Your face is covered with what looks like cardboard, while the hairspray is added. Amias pulls the dress out of the bag, there is no zipper, the back is open enough to the point where you can just step in. They hold your hands and arms while you step in, then they pull it up and over your body.

It’s a mermaid dress, the type that’s skin-tight at the top but flows at the knees. This one is a little looser though, allowing you to move without problem. It’s silky on the inside, but a little rough on the outside because of the glitter. When you rub it and take a look at your hands, nothing transferred.

The dress is held up by spaghetti straps that cross in the back to make an x. There is no plunge, it dips a little to show off cleavage, but that’s where the line is drawn.

“Grab her the white heel-less shoes.” Amias says, she pulls out Tanith’s necklace, putting it on for you.

They bring over a pair of shoes that look basically the same as the black ones you wore for the reaping. No heel, but they are heels, designed to keep you balanced even if you lean back. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be careful with how you move around.

You let them put on the shoes for you, since you don’t have that much of an option. Even with the shoes on, the dress still hits the floor, and there’s a little bit of a train in the back.

They slip in matching earrings, bracelets and the ring that you had gotten from the tribute parade to please whoever threw the gift at you. It’s a hope that they’ll sponsor you when you’re inside of the arena because of it. It makes you look considerate and humble, which you don’t really care about.

They’re like a hurricane with how they move around you. They tweak, they adjust, they take a step back. Amias orders them around harshly, she’s strict on what she wants. She’s obviously got something envisioned and she won’t allow it to be fucked up by a couple of morons.

“How much time until interviews?” you ask.

Makeup guy takes a look at his watch, “Thirty minutes.”

“Am I done?” you ask Amias.

“In a hurry?”

“I’ve got something to do, and it has to be done before interviews since we’ll be standing on stage after them.”

Amias looks over you one last time, “Yes, you may go. Pull up the front when you walk, don’t bend down, and don’t touch your face or hair. If you need something to play with, stick with the ring and necklace.”

“Thank you.” you say, giving her a wave as you slip out of the room.

In the hallway waits a couple of people already. Cashmere, Gloss and Brutus primarily. They all stand together in a half circle. Gloss looks over by chance and catches you.

Following what Amias said, you pull up the front of the dress as you walk over, being sure to give a look around to see if Finnick is out just yet. You can’t imagine that he really needs a lot done to him. The guys always get let off easier.

A great example, is whatever the fuck Brutus is wearing.

“You’re kidding me.” you flick the silver armor that he has on.

After, you’re quick to make sure you haven’t chipped your nail polish. It’s fine, it’s probably got some strong coating knowing Amias.

“Nope.”

“You’re basically wearing what you had for the tribute parade.” you scowl, “I guess you can get away with whatever you want.”

Brutus shrugs.

You look at Cashmere and Gloss to see that they’re wearing similar sequin outfits. You make a face, nodding since it makes sense that they’re matching. They’re siblings after all. Cashmere takes this as a nod of approval and sends a smile your way.

“You look amazing.” Gloss says.

“I know.” you say, looking around again.

There he is, eyes locked on you. He uses his index finger to beckon you to follow him, going around a corner. You let out a laugh, and then look to the others to see that they’re waiting to see what you’re laughing at.

“I’ve got to use the restroom, can you believe that? I’ll be back in a second.” you tell them, before leaving them.

You pass by a couple of people in the hallway, and with the way that they stare, you feel like you’re at a high school prom all over again. Junior year after you had won your games, the way that people looked at you was never the same. As if they were afraid to approach you or something.

You did win prom queen that year, though. And then the year after that, too.

You take a wide turn around the corner as if Finnick is going to pounce on you the second you round it. However, he’s pretty far down the hall, arms crossed with a smug look on his face.

“What happened to being too good for an alliance with me?” he asks, he looks amused and cocky.

“I came to my senses,” you flash him a white smile, “I realized that it might be good to have you around, after all.”

“It has nothing to do with the fact that Katniss and Peeta got twelve’s?”

You can’t lie your way out of this, he’ll know, “Partially. Forget hanging around with Cashmere, Gloss and Brutus. I want a place in whatever you have.”

“Fat chance.” he says, and you can feel your smile fade a little.

“Why not?”

“You know why. I don’t want you killing my allies.”

“Want them all to yourself?” Your eyebrow spikes up, “Tell me Finnick, are you going to be able to protect them when they rush towards the cornucopia tomorrow?”

Finnick opens his mouth, “They can take care of themselves.”

“Let’s see, you’ll be taking care of Mags, and Katniss will be taking care of Peeta because he’s nothing but a sack of flour--how ironic. If you have me there, I can basically be a bodyguard.”

“Until you kill one of us in our sleep, right?” Finnick watches your face carefully, “You’re mistaking me for something that I’m not.”

“Everyone is going to kill each other one way or another.” you say, “I won’t have to do it early on, that’s the whole point of alliances. I keep you guys around until we start to turn on each other.”

“What if we don’t have those intentions?” Finnick asks, there’s an edge to his voice.

You open your mouth, “What are you planning?”

“Tell me, (Y/n), are you a loyalist?”

You can feel yourself become stiff. Loyalist, a term normally used for people who would follow the government no matter what happens. In that case, it would the Capitol and the districts. It’s no secret that District One and District Two would follow the Capitol because you guys are treated like loyalty, as for the other districts...

There’s a deeper meaning, especially after what happened in the last games. Not all the districts like the Capitol or President Snow and his precious Hunger Games. They would do anything to cancel them, and after what Katniss pulled with Peeta, there have been a few people fighting back, Neysa and Edmond were whispering about it over dinner last night.

Loyalist. Loyalist. Loyalist.

There’s a much bigger plan going on here.

You snap your mouth shut, which has since opened after that question. You press your lips together tightly as you stare at Finnick’s face. You feel like a robot with how you don’t move.

Loyalist. It would mean that they’re planning to go against President Snow, right? It would mean that there will be people who stay loyal to the Capitol, and the people who wouldn’t be.

You can’t lie, you have had a fantastic life in District Two. But you’re human and you realize that other people are too. Just like how you hate how the avoxes are treated, you hate how some of the other districts are treated too.

But if an uprising is what they think is going to solve all of this, you don’t like them at all. They’re going to screw up the way of life for too many people. District Two is happy how they serve the Capitol, no one will fight with them. And if you’re wrong about that, then there aren't very many who will.

However, would you fight with them? If what he said is real, would you fight with them?

“You are bold.” you continue staring at Finnick with an open mouth, unsure of how to actually approach this, “And careless for asking me a question like that outright.”

Finnick’s face twists now, “Are you, though?”

The thing is you don’t know. The hunger games is all you’ve ever known. You’ve never lived any other lifestyle.

“Yes or no.” Finnick insists.

“I’m not going to answer that question.” you decide, “Because I don’t know what you’re up to, and I don’t want to. Forget the alliance thing, I change my mind.”

You start to walk off, but Finnick catches your arm, “I could tell you.”

“Why would you want to?”

Finnick lets go, “Because having you on our side could be useful.”

“Useful for what?” you lower your voice, “Getting everyone else in District Two to follow behind all the other rioting districts?”

He’s clearly surprised that you understood so quickly.

“We have nothing to complain about, Finnick. We’ve got the good life.”

“And everyone else? What about the people who don’t have the good life? The ones that fight to live everyday? What about them?” he asks.

You nod slowly, thinking, “Well, I’m not a loyalist and I’m not too fond of being considered a traitor either.”

“You’re after the glory of being a legend, right?” Finnick asks, you take a step back, “This is better than that. People will know that you were the first person from District Two to hop on and lead. You want people to look up to you, here it is.”

You want to tell him it’s not the same, but the words don’t appear in your mouth.

Finnick is looking past you now, and you turn to see who he’s staring at. Haymitch Abernathy, his eyebrows are drawn together, “Interviews have started.”

“Thanks.” Finnick says, and the two of you watch as he disappears behind the corner again, “Don’t make the decision now, but if you do want to join us, come and find me inside of the arena.”

You look at him, “You’re going to run to the cornucopia, I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not. Which is why I think you’ll make the right decision.”

You scoff, “Right decision? You know what you’re asking, right?” and then you laugh, shaking your head as you pull up your dress so you can walk away, “How do I know if any of this is even true?” he doesn’t say anything, “Exactly, this could be some sort of sick ruse just to draw me in to kill me and get me out of the way. I didn’t come here to be killed, I came here to win. And you’re going to have to fight me for it.”

You shake your head at him one last time before turning around and walking back to the main hallway. There are a ton of people waiting now, but you don’t spare any looks. Brutus is waiting for you by a tv, which holds both Cashmere and Gloss.

“They’re doing it together?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Yeah, since they’re siblings and all,” Brutus takes a look over your face, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” you say, “I’m ready for all of this to be done now. No more meddling, I just want to be inside of the arena.”

“Tomorrow.” Brutus says, “Then everyone can pay their dues.”

You smile a little bit at the thought, “Anyway, are we going up together?”

“No, we’re not.” Brutus says, you watch as Caesar starts to wrap up the interview.

“Better get ready.” he motions for you to go down the hall.

You do, being sure to hold up the front of the dress as you go down. Amias is standing in a little alcove with a mirror. She adjusts a few things, wishes you luck and then you stand in front of the doors.

There’s a cheering of the crowd before Caesar starts talking, “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome one of our favorites! You know her as the girl who blew her competition out of the water! Let’s give a warm welcome to (Y/n) Rosecelli!”

The doors open, you can see Caesar has his arm outstretched towards you. The spotlight meets your eyes, making it difficult to see, but you don’t dare to move your hands from the fronts of your dress. You’re just puzzled as to why he said the second thing.

‘Blew her competition out of the water’? Since when? As in you did so well during your games, or something you might have done during this week that you weren’t aware of? It’s weird to know that the Capitol gives tributes nicknames, you’d think they’d run out of them.

Gloss and Cashmere, the brother and sister duo. Beetee, the genius. Finnick, the peacock. Johanna, the deceiver. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire and Peeta Mellark--loverboy.

You never got to know yours. 

You take Caesar’s hand when you come up the steps, giving the biggest smile you can to the audience, “Caesar!”

“(Y/n)!” He meets your enthusiasm.

The two of you wait until the audience has settled before actually starting with the interview. When you look over your shoulder, you can see that Cashmere and Gloss are waiting up on some small walkway. You’ll be standing there for an hour when you’re done with this interview.

“How does it feel to be back in the Capitol after all these years?” He begins, “You know, we’ve missed you and your business.”

“It feels fantastic, really. Like I’m back in my second home, the Capitol has this welcoming feel, especially for me. If it weren’t for my favorite students back home, then I would stay here forever.” you give a big smile, “I might even consider it, after I win.”

Caesar laughs, the citizens cheer at the sound of that, “You’ve got your mind set on the big win?”

“Of course I do. And I promise to make this year much more entertaining than my first games. No abrupt endings this time.”

More cheering, enough so that Caesar has to watch the clock so it doesn’t take up too much of your time, “You said that you have students, what ever do you mean?”

You laugh a little, “I mean my two tributes who won, Tanith and Zavian. I’m hoping they’re watching, but knowing Zavian, he’s likely avoiding the television until I’m off.” you give a look to the nearest camera, “As for Tanith, she’s on the edge of her seat, fingers crossed that I don’t blow this.”

“You could never!” Caesar says, “You’re too good to even be on here.”

“I wouldn’t say that, Caesar.” you laugh with him.

“Is there anything you would like to say to Tanith or Zavian?”

You pucker your lips as you think, “Well, I just want them to know that I will uphold my promise. I will be coming home, even if it might kill me. I will be walking out of that arena alive.”

“That’s a bold statement.”

“I’m a bold person.” you say.

While the crowd cheers, Caesar is obviously thinking up other things to ask you, “Should we expect any surprises?”

It feels like you have a flashback to the hallway, to Finnick telling you not to make your decision right then and there. It was open-ended. It was an invitation to go and see him whenever you’d like inside of the arena if you come to your senses. As if he’ll take you in with no question.

“Maybe.” You say, “Because we both know that the arena will be a doozy, there’s no telling what might happen inside of there.”

Caesar nods, liking that answer.

There’s a faint beeping, which is a signal that your interview is over.

“Thank you for your time (Y/n), it was a pleasure having you.”

“It was a pleasure being back inside of the Capitol after nine years.” you give a wave to the audience.

“Everyone, please give a big round of applause for (Y/n) Rosecelli, our favorite star!”

Star. That’s your nickname.

You’re a Star.