#enemy Luffy au

[charkyzombicorn]

Angst au where Ace and Sabo never adopted Luffy but adopted each other.

Enemy Ace & Sabo au?

Enemy Luffy au??

:)

You can now deem me as the official au idea giver-

Thank you for being idea giver Konton

Hmmmmmmmmm

In that scenario, Ace and Sabo never found out Luffy was being tortured. Luffy was beaten for several hours then Porchemy pulled out his sword to kill him but then one of the Bluejam cronies stepped in, said Porchemy was tired and shouldn't have to kill the kid, that he would take the kid and kill him so Porchemy didn't have to waste more energy. Porchemy was exhausted from punching for hours so he relented, and the cronie took Luffy ever-so-gently out of the ropes and outside. They asked the kid what he wanted to see, as a final request of they could give it. Luffy, barely awake but knowing if he didn't say something he would never say anything again, said "Makino". The cronie recognized the name.

So they went down the mountain, half expecting the kid to not make the trip with how much his bleeding was slowing down. But then they stood just outside Party's bar and checked Luffy's pulse - weak, but not gone. He gave the heavily injured child to Makino, who was white as a ghost and asking questions the cronie didn't have the answer to.

Makino got everything from the little first aid kit she'd kept since Garp started "training" Luffy, then started using a cut up bedsheets when the bandages ran out. Then once Luffy's bleeding was staunched she ran out and right for the mayor's house, hands and apron covered in blood. The mayor rang the bell above his house - announced Luffy was back and critically injured and to please donate any medical supplies, take them to the bar.

And the village was small, maybe sixty people in all, mostly elderly folks. But they all came in a drove to Party's Bar because while Luffy was always an annoyance he was always Their annoyance and they would do everything they could before letting any child of theirs die.

Luffy's recovery was slow - his wounds were infected, he lost so much blood, he was unconscious and fevered for days before he could get up long enough to eat something. But when he woke up and saw Makino and the mayor and all the villagers he could recognize he cried for a very long time.

--

Meanwhile, on the mountain, Dadan is panicking. Luffy had been missing for weeks, every time she asked Ace about it he would just say he didn't know and leave. Then she finally gets an answer - that Monkey D. Luffy, youngest grandson of Monkey D. Motherfucking Garp, was killed after refusing to give in to torture at age 7. And Ace looks at her in the eye nothing in his eyes holds remorse. Ace doesn't Care.

Dadan calls Garp. Garp is back as soon as possible, straight up the mountain. He tells Ace to tell him what happened to his younger brother, Ace says he wasn't his brother. Garp asks why not. Ace starts listing reasons - he isn't my blood, he's annoying, he's weak, he nearly got Ace caught. And Garp just says that to Garp, Ace is all those things. Ace asks then why Garp wouldn't kill him. Garp says because he makes exceptions for family, because he knows they care for him and he tries to care about them back. Just like how Luffy cared about Ace, for so long that he died without even telling pirates where to look for him. A hero's death, for Ace's sake.

Ace feels remorse, then, finally understanding what happened and not just what he wanted to have happened. And Ace feels impossibly worse.

Sabo suggests them being brothers, Ace says he's already let a brother die, Sabo says he won't die so easily but he lied

--

Garp eventually finds Luffy alive, heavily injured with new scars fresh on his skin, and Luffy begs him to let him stay with his village, with his family, with everyone that wanted to stay with him as much as he wanted to stay with them.

But Luffy can't be a pirate under any circumstances, so instead Garp takes him to Loguetown to train under Smoker in the hopes a younger, better marine can train Luffy without him almost dying.

[deadpoolsmom]

one piece au where Garp just out the gate claims that Ace is Dragon’s son

Like what are the marines/Sengoku gonna do - ask Dragon to verify? Track down the world’s most wanted man for a paternity test?

“Wouldn’t Dragon care / contradict this?” Dragon is intentionally not associated with his actual son, so 50/50 he’d even know. And what is he gonna care the government think he has 2 kids by 2 moms? He’s not gonna tell them anything. He’d probably let them believe that to fuck w them + so the son of another of their enemies lives free / isn’t targeted for his blood

“Portgas D Rouge was an associate of Roger and they were specifically looking for a baby” Well maybe she had questionable taste after his death. Dragon was already a Revolutionary at that point, so it’s not like the WG know what he is doing.

“Why does Ace use his mother’s family name?” He loves his mom and thinks his “dad’s” a deadbeat

“Why doesn’t Luffy then?” Same as canon. Garp still doesn’t know it and Luffy doesn’t care about dads

I don’t think it would necessarily solve Marineford or make it so that Ace survives, but I do think it would be extremely funny

[the-24-7-lawlu-library]

Poll Vote Enemies To Lovers

Hi lovely readers, I wish you all a great weekend <3

The Tides That Bind Us by lululawlawlu (M)

It comes to Luffy in recurring dreams—sometimes as clouded visions, sometimes clear as the tropical waters it supposedly rests in. The minute details are ever-changing as the tides, but one thing is always constant—a red string coiled around his finger. It leads him down into the depths of the ocean, pulls him toward the thrill of discovering the holy grail of sunken ships. What was once the pirate king’s is now waiting for him, so what is he waiting for?

fighting tides and chasing you by aloas (T)

Law drops his hand as he watches Luffy escaping, slipping through Law’s fingers once again. His figure grows smaller as the distance between them gets bigger, and yet Law is far from disappointed. This is only their 19th encounter, and Law knows there will always be a next time.

Through the Night by Sakuya_Serenity_Kira (T)

Law saved him. Law really knew, why he saved Luffy, why he had no choice to do so. And all he wanted was to stay with him. But of course, there was no chance. Only for a few days... he tried to carry his heart.

You wreck my plan, I wreck 'you' by KalonThorn (E)

A game of cat and mouse between two outlaws, where no one knows until the end who the mouse in this is.

The Duelists by KalonThorn (E)

Luffy decides to join the dueling club, where he meets one of the biggest prodigies in Hogwarts' history - Trafalgar D. Water Law. They soon begin to butt heads with each other, trying to up one another not only in spell-casting, but also in pranks and other insane stunts. 

Solar Eclipse by quackquackcey (E)

The story of the Hero and the Villain, and the accidental meeting that changed everything.~

Enchanted Ink and Devil's Helmet by quackquackcey (E)

A normal evening during closing hours of Luffy’s tattoo parlor turns sour, and somehow, two bitter rivals-turned-enemies are roped into a supernatural rollercoaster of a night, in which an old ghost comes to haunt them once again.~

Cats and Dogs, or Rather, Ducks by quackquackcey (M)

A story of how two people, who fight like cats and dogs, realize that perhaps, opposites really do attract. Or something like that.~

I hate you, at least I think I do by Anonymous (T)

Luffy and Law can't stand eachother they never could it was like oil and water till well, things change.

Prison of Deception by Orphan_Account (NR)

Luffy, a captain in the Marines, is tasked with guarding and interrogating the pirate prisoner, Trafalgar Law.

Alice, Alice, Don't You Know? by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead (T)

“You let your secret lesser hellhound eat the hat with your secret griffin feathers inside the lining, and you let your secret fireball brother send your stupid Alice brother with the hound?” Law shouted. “What the fuck, Sabo? How am I supposed to get your feathers out of Sunny and back to you without tipping off your brother?” “I’m sure you’ll think of something. That’s why you’re the best, Law. Better think fast, because I waited until he was five minutes out to call you. Thanks, Law!” There was a beep as Sabo hung up, and Law stared at the phone for five full seconds to process and scream internally instead of externally.

Sweets by Skypiea_Lulu (G)

Law hates his neighbor, he is loud, annoying and obnoxious, the problem is that he has to start socializing with him, but not in the way he expected.

The Alpha, the Omega, and everything in between by N_Moonbreeze (E)

The World Nobles were the only Alphas. The Omegas were their appointed servants, fit only to give up their bodies. The Omegas were to be given away and the non-existent Alphas to hide away. These are the ironclad rules of their world. After meeting one Monkey D. Luffy, Alpha Law ultimately decides that he doesn't actually give a shit about said rules. Until the same man, barely coherent on his operating table, utters one word that throws his whole world out of balance. "...alpha!"

-Mod Raiya

[fruityumbrella]

sanji trying to seduce zoro so zoro will marry him bc luffy bullied marines into forging papers that say sanji was legally adopted into his family, and sanji wants to be MONKEY SANJI on wanted posters almost less than he wants to be VINSMOKE SANJI. and robin already said she wouldn't marry him.

[r0semultiverse]

Imagine if having devil fruit powers in One Piece got you the label of “fruity.” They needed a name/label to call people who have devil fruit powers so they just start saying you’re fruity. If you’re strong as fuck with your devil fruit powers? That’s fruity as Hell!

[moongothic]

Hey so what are your thoughts on the theory that Dragon might actually the biological son of Xebec? I think it's pretty interesting to think about considering the implications it has (depending on what ends up being canon).

For example, if Crocodad is real and Dragon is Xebec's son, that would imply that Garp's biological child is... Crocodile.

Also, I think it works well with the idea that Roger knew Garp would protect his child... because he saw him do that exact thing during the God Valley incident for the son of Xebec. Another child born from a man deemed an extreme by the World Government.

It's an interesting idea but the only reason people keep on suggesting that theory is just that the really vague silhouette of Xebec we have seen kinda vaguely resembles Dragon on the hair-department (and people want Xebec to connect to some other character somehow somewhere, thus we have also have people ALSO suggesting Xebec is related to (or straight up just is) Croc, Buggy, Blackbeard and god knows who else)

And I just personally don't buy it.

Main thing is that Garp has made it explicitly clear that Dragon is his child, his very own son, multiple times (and as recently as in the brief Aokiji flashback where he complains about his son becoming a revolutionary).

The other thing is that Garp and Dragon look alike

Finding good panels to do comparisons is a bit hard, and the art can fluctuate a little bit (especially the hairlines for both characters) and when the characters aren't even doing the same expression it messes with the proportions a bit But generally speaking, they have similarly shaped hairlines and the same nose-shape. Hair texture too though it's less obvious since Garp has gone gray;; I would make a comparison to Young Garp but his nose is a different shape, but that just makes Young Garp look resemble Luffy so much more

Of course, I wouldn't put too much money on similar faces meaning things due to Oda's Same Face Syndrome, but really the only major differences between how Dragon and Garp look are Dragon's lack of eyebrows (or if he has eyebrows they're just really thin compared to Garp's bushier ones) and more hooded brows in general. In my mind, they look more alike than different and that very specific nose-shape alone says a lot

So I personally no doubt about Garp and Dragon being related, just as I have no doubt Garp and Luffy are related (and thus, by extension, Luffy and Dragon too)

It's also the fact that I see no point in Oda telling us who Luffy's dad is THROUGH GARP if they're not actually related, AND SO MANY YEARS AGO. Like, it'd just feel like a pointless lie, an absolutely useless plot-twist because like, while it would tell us a bit more about Garp, it wouldn't do anything to change Luffy and Dragon's non-existant relationship with each other, nor Luffy and Garp's. Like it'd be a twist for the sake of having a twist, throwing out nearly two decade old lore for what?

And I feel like Crocodad would make that even worse. Because suddenly we'd have to ask many uncomfortable questions about what kind of a relationship Garp has with his transgender pirate son. And if he considders his son-in-law more like his own family than Crocodile... fucking yikes, man. Like Garp is a flawed human being but I don't want to add that to the list of shit he's fucked up. Like despite everything, Garp is still understandable and likable (for me at least) and I just don't want him to get pushed over the edge like that

One last thing is that Dragon would've been 17 at the time of the God Valley incident (and Crocodile was 9). Like sure Garp could've lowkey adopted a 17 year old or just taken him in as a student, but still... He's a bit old to be taken in like that and for Garp to start considdering Dragon his own son

I just don't buy into the theory at all personally

[fangirlingpuggle]

Half asleep dumb One Piece AU/fic prompt where multiple straw hats are actual Gods.

Like Luffy is actually Nika sun god (whose parents are Dragon god of winds and Crocodile god of deserts and land) is seeing all these mortal who are pirates and there sense of freedom and decides i'm gonna do that, so sneaks down to earth, while dragging Zoro along of course (Zoro is child of Mihawk god of death and the underworld, Zoro is future God of Death and Perona future goddess of the underworld)

The think is mortals aren't meant to know gods are real so all the pantheon is trying to figure out how to get him back cause he's not really being subtle about his powers, luckily devil fruits are a thing so no ones really catching on they just think he has a really strong devil fruit.

Crocodile does meet him at Alabasta and then comes back like 'Look just let them do their thing he knows not to reveal anything even if he does it's Luffy who would believe him, besides things are pretty shitty done there he'll probably fix things'. He does send Robin (Goddess of knowledge) down to keep an eye on him.

Dragon: Are you sure this is good idea, I mean we aren't meant to directly intervene

Crocodile :Says the one with a cult in his name.

Dragon:....

Dragon:Look it's not a cult exactly

Other gods do disagree and do try to get him to come back, the other straw hats are very confused by some of their enemies but after a while Luffy they're used to weirdness.

Eventually all the pantheon accept this is a thing and we'll just let them do they're thing it's not like they're falling in love with mortals or anything....

And then they see Sanji and Zoro interact... and Robin and Franky... and then Law and Luffy met.

The entire pantheon are just there with head in hands.

[polarspaz]

NikaEffect AU

While under the influence of Nika, Sanji gains some interesting powers, but the most notable ability he obtains is his "Allure" The best way I can explain it, is like how Bugs Bunny gets so many of his enemies to play along with his hijinks. He can't outright control people, but he can overwhelm them and make them act in ways they never would.

A good example of this is when Sanji transforms for the first time.

Sanji and Zoro are bickering in the kitchen and everything seems normal until Sanji's heart starts to feel funny. He panics, thinking it might have something to do with his Germa genetics, but that fear is abruptly smothered by overwhelming joy.

It's intoxicating, he feels beyond drunk, and Sanji can't stop the laughter that starts spilling from his lips. He looks up to see Zoro frozen stiff in front of him, his face etched in slight horror and Sanji suddenly feels mischievous. He darts forward before Zoro can react and kicks him through the galley doors and onto deck of the Sunny.

He slides out after the Swordsman, grinning ear to ear in sheer delight, ignoring the alarm of the rest of the crew before going after Zoro again with another kick. He's trying to spar with the other man, but his new boost in abilities is making the fight very one sided. It's not helping ease the distressing amount of power that's now burning inside him.

"Boring!" Is the only warning Zoro gets before Sanji grabs his arms and spins. It takes a moment for Zoro to understand what is happening, but the fight has evolved into some kind of dance. His feet and body are moving in perfect tune with Sanji, like they've practiced this a thousand times before, but Zoro's never danced like this in his entire life.

It should disturb him more, not being in control of his body, but the sheer elation and joy coming from Sanji softens the fear. There's no malice to this, in fact it's kind of of enjoyable, being swept in this sheer high that's permeating from Sanji. It reminds him of bathing in the warm sun.

They only stop when Luffy declares he wants to dance too, and instead of snapping at him, Sanji just smiles wider, drops Zoro like a lead weight, before grabbing the Captain with a delighted chuckle. "Anything for my Mon cher capitaine!"

Zoro can only watch dumbfounded as Sanji pulls a flower from his hair, placing it between his teeth, and starts dancing with Luffy up in the sky. It's crazy to watch, especially with how Sanji takes full advantage of Luffy's ability to stretch, but it also shows that Luffy seems to be under the same effect Zoro was. Luffy couldn't dance to save his life, but there he was, pulling off moves he couldn't even comprehend with pure ease.

+Sanji other abilities include super speed, which he usually uses to make ludicrous large, delicious meals in seconds. (Yes, he is making the food cook faster too) -He can also float/fly. -The Nika power can last up to thirty minutes or an hour. When it's gone, Sanji is completely, and utterly wasted. He's emotionally numb and his body won't even move, meaning Zoro usually has to carry his ass to bed every time this happens.

-Why does this happen? No one knows. They try to find some kind of commonality to these sudden transformations but there seems to be no connecting factor, and for some reason, poor Sanji gets it the worse.

[denim-wizard]

My Little... Pirates? ((Aka I succumb to making a One Piece MLP AU)) ( part 1 // part 2 )

It always starts as a style experiment or practice drawing something new of some sort but tbh there is a darkness within me that is steadily brewing anyways HEY Y'ALL WANT. HEADCANONS? (this took me weeks to finally finish and post)

Introducing the pirate captain Monkey Do, first mate Zephyr Roar , and the fighting-cook Blackhoof Sanji (aka Devil Dancer) Coming up with names is Hard. Let's talk about these fools a little bit, with lots of headcanon to spare. Monkey Do ( aka Monkey D. Luffy) is our earth pony protagonist, and is largely unchanged. His cutiemark is a top down view of his iconic straw hat (or... is it? Some might say it looks a bit like a sun...) and his special talent is leadership. Earthponies are known for many things, and Luffy encompasses those qualities wholly-- he's loyal and strong, and has an endless appetite. an appettite that still contains a frankly concerning amount of meat. This little pony is not a harbivore. Zephyr Roar (aka Roronoa Zoro, or just 'Zoro' as Monkey Do calls him) is a pegasus who's special talent is the self invented three-sword-style. Yes he holds the other two with his wings. No he does not fly. Zoro's a real special guy like that. He largerly perfers to face his enemies on the ground, turning that pegasi speed into pure power. He's mean, he's green, and he thinks dust baths constitute as real bathing. Blackhoof, aka Devil Dancer (Sanji) is a unicorn who's special talent is cooking. His magic gives him a serious wallop in battle, and the old fashioned metal shoes let his superheated kicks pack even more of a punch. His natural magic is fire, and his time on Momoiro helped him learn real levitation, two traits that are just as powerful in the kitchen as they are on the battlefield. For all the stereotypes about unicorns that he breaks, Dancer enforces just as many-- he's prissy, wears fancy clothes, and he even shaves the fluffy fetlocks on his front legs to avoid contaimination while cooking. He's also got a taste for sweet things-- if the lollipop stick in his mouth was any indication. (if he still sounds like the godawful 4kids dub is for you to decide)

That's all I've got to say about these guys for now, and I hope you enjoy--I watched mlp as a kid and now that it's making it's resurgence I feel like I have a weird amount of thoughts about it. Headcanon and lore explanations my beloved. my ask box is always open, feel free to tell me who you'd like to see next. commissions open soon, hopefully

[iamumbra195]

Random One Piece incorrect quotes cause I'm bored

Some of these are modern au though

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

*Sanji's not there*

Usopp: HELP! I TOLD LUFFY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Zoro, pouring alcohol directly into a cereal bowl:

Zoro: And you thought I could help?

...

Luffy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nami : Wasn't Zoro with you?

Zoro: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

...

Law: I trust Mugiwara-ya.

Penguin: You think he knows what he's doing?

Law: I wouldn't go that far.

...

Sabo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Ace, confused: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Sabo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Luffy: edible

...

Nami: We need to get through this locked door. Usopp, give me your credit card.

Usopp: Here.

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks. Luffy, kick down the door.

...

Chopper: You know those things will kill you, right?

Zoro, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Sanji, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Luffy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

...

Robin: Why is Luffy so sad?

Nami: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Robin: And...?

Nami: He got Buggy

*Zoro cackling in the background

...

Zoro: Self care is actually getting into fights with randos in dark alleys.

Nami: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Kin'emon, trying to be poetic: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Usopp: Lmao self care is taking Luffy's birthday meat cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Luffy: If you touch my meat cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Sanji, losing his mind: WHY IS THERE FROSTING ON MEAT?

...

Franky, about Jinbe: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Robin: Are we stealing them?

Brook: New or used?

Franky, cackling: Wonderful responses, both of you.

...

Smoker: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Sanji: Shit.

Usopp: Wait, three?

Smoker: Yeah?

Nami: OH MY GOD ZORO FELL OFF!!!

...

Kin'emon: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Ashura: Is it me?

Kin'emon: No, it’s not you.

Denjiro: Is it me, Kin?

Kin'emon: It’s not you either.

Kanjuro: Is it me, Kin'emon?

Kin'emon, bleeding from several debilitating injuries:

Kin'emon, mockingly: Is IT mE kiN'eMOn?

...

Usopp: Can I be frank with you guys?

Luffy, confused: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chopper: Can I still be Chopper?

Franky, snickering: Shh, let Frank speak.

...

Sabo: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Koala: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Sabo: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN-CHAN WITH ME

Hack, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Law, walking into his submarine: Hello, people who do not belong here.

Zoro: Hey.

Sanji: Hi.

Robin: Hello.

Chopper: Hey!

Law: I gave you my vivre card for emergencies only!

Luffy, grinning: We were out of meat.

...

Sanji: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Luffy, drinking meat: Why do you say that?

...

Zoro: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nami: I only take cash or credit.

...

Koala: Why are you on the floor?

Sabo: I'm depressed.

Sabo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ivankov, please.

...

Robin: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

*everyone looks ay Karasu

Karasu: What? How am I supposed to know?

Lindbergh: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Karasu: *sighs*

Karasu: You wouldn't be trapped

...

Vivi: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Nami: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Vivi: Yes!

Usopp: ... I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

...

Usopp: WHY. why did you give Luffy a KNIFE?!

Zoro, shrugging: He said he felt unsafe.

Usopp: Now I feel unsafe!

Zoro: ... would you like a knife?

...

Dragon: What did you do with the target's body?

Sabo : What didn’t I do with the body?

Dragon:

Sabo: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

...

Luffy, texting Ace: Ace! Help I’m being kidnapped

Ace: Where are you?

Luffy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Ace: I’ll call Gramps.

Garp, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Ace: Where’s Luffy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Garp: Luffy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Garp, who shaved his head:

Garp: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Garp: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Luffy: WHO ARE YOU?!

...

*Ace, Sabo and Luffy sitting in jail together*

Sabo: So who should we call?

Ace: I’d call Gramps, but I feel safer in jail

...

Roger: Garp, my old arch enemy.

Garp: ... I thought I was your only arch enemy?

Roger: I have a life outside of you, Garp

...

Zoro: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Luffy: The cow???

Zoro: What?

Sanji: *disgusted shudder* LUFFY, W H Y?

...

Usopp: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion berry?

Zoro: Nami can stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house and erase my debt

Luffy: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 billion.

Zoro: Good thinking.

...

Kin'emon: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Denjiro: You were flirting with O'Tsuru.

Kin'emon: So what? She's my wife.

Denjiro: You asked her if she were single.

Kin'emon:

Denjiro: And then you cried when she said she wasn't

...

Marco: What time is it?

Ace: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Ace: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Izou: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Ace, proudly: It’s 2 am

...

Luffy: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Law: You people already know too much about me.

Kidd: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

...

Sabo, an enabler: Tell Ace about the birds and the bees.

Luffy: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

...

Brook: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

...

Zoro: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

...

Law: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Bepo: Captain, no.

...

Law: Nothing in life is free.

Chopper: Love is free!

Luffy: Adventure is free!

Robin: Knowledge is free.

Nami: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

...

Usopp: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Luffy will and will not eat.

Franky: Grass? Yes!

Usopp: Moss? Yes!!

Franky: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Usopp: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Franky: Worms? Sometimes!

Usopp: Rocks? Usually nah.

Franky: Twigs? Usually!

Usopp: Zoro's cooking? Inconclusive!

Chopper: How did you… test this?

Usopp: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Chopper: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nami: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?

Robin: What about humans? He tried to eat Crocodile once

Everyone: ...

Usopp: I think I might be too afraid to ask

(Someone pls draw this one XD)

...

Betty: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Koala: *turning to Sabo* How tall are you?

...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's it, this took forever to write lol

[blacklegsanjiii]

•°♤°• (AllSan AU) Whenever an enemy is fighting Sanji, when they get a close range attack, they will GRAB that skinny waist of his and just flirt with him the whole way fight. (The Strawhats are not very pleased. ESPECIALLY Zoro/Luffy). Would be even more worse if Sanji was a woman. Robin/Nami will be DEFINITELY be kicking the enemys asses to the bottom of the Seas (If Sanji doesnt do it first).

OML. Sanji just trying to kick ass when someone randomly grabs his waist. He'll kick them off of him but it's been happening a lot and even Zoro and Luffy are getting pissed about it. Like extremely pissed. It's getting to the point Sanji is covered in more blood than normal thanks to the blows that Luffy and Zoro keep laying on these guys. Sanji is down to like three button ups because his others have absolutely ruined by blood and turned into rags and field bandages. It's awful.

Sanji is just yelling at them to stop because his clothes are getting ruined and they can't afford to replace them. Zoro and Luffy don't necessarily see a problem of Sanji having less clothes than normal until they've ruined all his jackets and suddenly Sanji's just down to his pants and dress shirts and people are getting more grabby. It's a never ending cycle of them being so excited to see him in less clothes than normal but also pure rage at people touching their cook.

Also Fem!Sanji would absolutely just watched the whole kitchen staff come out to yell at a table that got too touchy or mouthy. So she would definitely know the signs of people getting grabby. She learns to protect herself quickly but it doesn't really seem to deter the rowdier groups. Sanji is stressed the fuck out when she joins the crew because uh....everyone is grabbing her waist? Marines, her crew, other pirates, and warlords. Her captain's brother at one point. Robin and Nami are absolutely terrible when they see Sanji get grabbed. Most of the time she handles it just fine but sometimes Robin will kill them before Sanji can react or Nami will knock them out and steal all their money.

[diminuel]

Considering Crocodile likes the finer things life has to offer. I imagine he's a good cook (he's also paranoid enough to not trust many people to cook his food without poisoning him), but also if he's gonna eat it will taste good. I also see him as someone who has problems not being good or excellent at things, so naturally he at one point in time went on a whole hyper fixation induce time period where he got really good at cooking. Regardless eventually cooking becomes a nice relaxing part of his day, to destress and listen to music and he learns to love cooking. (He'd probably hate the monstrous appetite Monkey D's have though).

But when the kids get older, cooking becomes a time when they either sit/help their Baba in the kitchen. They talk about their days and work and anything else. If they had homework (do Crocodile and Dragon actually teach them or send them to school? Or they forever wild jungle kids?) they could do it then. Eventually when they are teens, I feel Crocodile makes it his mission to teach his children at least the basics of cooking. No child of his will not know how to season whatever they catch with spices or at the very least know when meat is cooked, what you can eat raw safely, and which mushrooms are the best.

This probably has varying degrees of effect. Ace probably has a tendency to overcook things by cooking them to hot or too fast. Sabo is fine. If Merry (Baby 2) is a thing (depending on AU) she might be the best or the worst. Luffy probably is okay maybe was taught some self restrain to cook one or two more complicated dishes that are his favorites Baba makes...I feel Luffy would have more restrain if cooking for others, by himself he'd just roast meat likely.

But imagine Sanji gets sick or hurt. The other strawhats are debating who should cook now, and without being asked or really thinking much about it, Luffy steps up and cooks for his crew, as his crew argues about who should cook. Luffy makes that one dish his Baba taught, that Luffy likes to cook. Maybe it's curry or something using those Alabasta spices as it's what Baba always liked to use or a simple stew to help Sanji feel better. But Luffy stepping up because he can and as Captain it's his responsibility to help his crew and Sanji shouldn't worry about the crew eating when he's not well. I don't know how the strawhats actually react to their captain doing this, but I feel it would be amusing.

Dragon should probably be banned from the kitchen. Burns everything. He can cook meat over a campfire, and that's it. The man burns his toast no matter what. Poor guy.

Oooh, I love it!

He does love to cook, but preparing Monkey D. appropriate meals is probably quite a bit harder due to the sheer quantity they consume.

I love the idea of cooking time being family time too (and yes, I do imagine that the kids get sent to school. Maybe Dragon wouldn't be too fussed about it but the jungle can't teach them everything they need to know so Crocodile would insist on school.) and that the kids would learn to cook.

And yes! Luffy cooking for his crew when Sanji can't is so good and I do think they'd be rather shocked about it because he never lifts a finger to cook otherwise so they just assumed he couldn't do more than put meat over a fire (which is generally the thing with Luffy, also in this AU I think. He doesn't share information that isn't relevant or do things that aren't necessary - why cook if they have a cook, why navigate if they have a navigator, etc etc).

Dragon's banned from the kitchen for more than one reason. Not only does he seem to be cursed to always burn his toast (maybe he actually IS cursed *lol* Garp has probably made enough enemies for one of the other curse aimed at his bloodline or firstborn to stick) but the curse will infect Crocodile too! (It's not because Dragon is so distracting, with wandering hands and kisses pressed against his neck~) If the kids don't want burnt food they have to get Dad out of the kitchen *lol*

(When it's Dragon's turn to watch the kids on his own they all know it's time to go hunt for food and cook it over a campfire X'D If they need something else they can go to Makino *lol*)

[mydearlybeloathed]

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ♡

navigator!zoro and swordswoman!nami headcannons

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 ♡

➥ all gender neutral

[zoro, romantic] "do not kiss me again"

[usopp, romantic] "i once told you i'd kissed a thousand women..."

[zoro, nami, platonic] "they're cheating, you know"

[nami, romantic] “kiss her you fool���

[zoro, romantic] “brazen”

[nami, platonic/romantic] “she’s my friend”

𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐄 ♡

moodswings

how zoro, sanji, and luffy deal with a pms-ing reader... f!reader

too sweet

nami, zoro x gn!reader

their mermaid lovers

mermaids and pirates should be sworn enemies by default... but you decide to spin that precedent on its head. various x mermaid!reader

big brothers, little sisters

aka an older sister fulfills her childhood wish for a big brother various x sister!reader

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ♡

nothing yet...

𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘 ♡

are you still sad?

luffy had always been more observant than you gave him credit for. f!reader, opla!luffy

i remember thinking i had you

you'd always had a feeling luffy's dreams would outgrow you, but when that day finally arrives, you're not as prepared as you'd thought you'd be. now he's willing to take a chance to make his dream come true, fully believing you're right behind him. you have a decision to make: risk everything for the boy who means everything, or set him free of your doubts. gn!reader, multi part fic, opla!luffy

you can talk to me, but you already know

a mission to recover your prized research from your greedy ex-employer goes awry when you, the crew's pacifist, decide to join the fight in the name of saving your beloved captain. when you awake from your near-mortal injuries, luffy demands to know why you put yourself in danger, and you're not sure you can answer him. gn!reader

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈 ♡

flavors of home

in which even though you've been rescued, you're homesick. a certain pirate chef is more than willing to help cure the ailment. f!reader

we are never getting back together (?)

in which you, now a successful singer, and sanji, now a pirate, reunite unexpectedly when you return to baratie for a one night only performance.f!reader

the one where you say no to the cat

your daughter really wants a cat, and you're adamant that the answer is no... until it starts to look like a yes.wife!reader

𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎 ♡

get some sleep

you just can't get to sleep thanks to a terrible rainstorm terrorizing the ship. luckily, your tossing and turning inspired nami with an idea: just go sleep with the swordsman. f!reader

got me spinning like a ballerina

in which zoro doesn't dance, but he has no issue in watching you twirl yourself off your feet. so long as you twirl back to him when your feet get tired. f!reader

sail again

once upon a time, you'd weaseled your way into the demon pirate hunter's confidance, and maybe even his heart too. but one bounty gone wrong leads to you being left behind, and you just can't understand why. f!reader, apothecary!reader, multi part fic, opla!zoro

is she divine, is it the wine?

the grace of the sword and the stage come together as the strawhats' swordsman and dancer fall in love. zoro x fem!dancer!reader

quality time

you and zoro train together every morning, so it was only a matter of time till one of you got hurt (spoiler: it's not zoro) gn!artist!reader

once upon a dream

Long ago, you were cursed to one day sleep for an eternity—unless you’re presented with true love. You thought destiny couldn’t find you on the high seas, but when you're sorely mistaken, it's up to a certain swordsman to get his act together and rescue you from eternal sleep. sleeping beauty au, princess!reader

𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐏𝐏 ♡

coming soon...

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 ♡

im a quilt of all the ones I've loved

nami thinks theres so much of you wrapped up in all of her, that not even distance or time could change the way she feels. or in which three little bits of you now make up the patches of nami's person. f!reader

[crepes-suzette-373]

[Part 1]

The Totto Land plot in the "defective quadruplets AU" (explanation here). I had wanted to make it as drawings/comics, but it got very long, so this becomes a fanfic instead. Assume that everything before this point, and anything that I gloss over, happens exactly as it is in the original series.

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

Sanji blinked slowly at the high ceiling of the lab. His whole body hurt and his face stung to point of numbness. He barely registered the medics approaching, their shoes crunching on the debris scattered all over the broken floor tiles, and when the stern voice of his older sister rang out, it sounded like it was coming from worlds away through the throbbing in his head.

He let Reiju pull him up and lead him away. He never expected anything other than suffering and torment upon returning to this place called Germa, but there were moments, when he closed his eyes, that he thought he saw flashes of hope at the back of his mind.

Blink.

A child Niji was holding a dead rat in one hand and offering him a living rat with his other.

Blink.

Never mind the dead one, Niji would never touch living rats.

Blink.

Yonji was asking him if he ever tried making medicine instead of cooking. Wasn’t the only difference between them their tastes? Food is good, medicine is gross, but you have to mix stuff together to make them both.

Blink.

That’s can’t be. All Yonji ever wanted to do was beat up Sanji and call him weak.

Blink.

He was able to keep up with Ichiji in a swordsmanship bout. Ichiji still won at the end, but Sanji wasn’t immediately pummeled to the ground the moment the instructor said “begin”, and Ichiji even said he did okay.

Blink.

That had to be a dream. Ichiji had always been impossibly strong, and Sanji never stood a chance against him.

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

Reiju led him to her room, and applied a face mask that hurt like hell but fixed his appearance. Only temporarily, she’d said, and he barely listened to her half-heartedly scolding him for returning.

“Reiju,” he interrupted, “Tell me, were there ever times—you know, back then—when they weren’t so…so terrible?”

There was silence, and it was a moment before Reiju replied, simply, “Yes.”

Sanji sighed. “So it was real. I almost thought I’d dreamed that up,” he said flatly. He didn’t know what he was expecting to feel from the answer, but he still felt as hollow as before.

“They’re still like that, even now,” Reiju spoke again, “If it’s any consolation.”

It wasn’t. He was still trapped in a marriage he didn’t want, with the lives of everyone in Baratie and his very future as a cook dangling over certain doom by barely a thread. He thought of Zeff, the man whom he owed his life to. Sanji would rather endure a million beatings than allow the man, who was his father in all but blood, to die.

As if life hasn’t given him enough burden to carry, Luffy came bounding at the Germa’s cat carriage, grinning and cheerfully chattering away like usual. How Sanji wished it could be like all their previous adventures, where they could throw themselves at the enemy and fight to the very last spans of their lives. This time it was different, and no amount of desperate fighting could get them through it.

So Sanji hardened his emotions, to whatever extent it was capable of, and landed a kick on his captain. He echoed the horrid drivel that was drummed into his ears all day long, even as every word tasted like poison on his tongue, and rained flaming blows on Luffy, desperately willing the stubborn rubber man to leave. Every hit was like a blow to his own soul, and he was certain his heart shattered at the utter disgust Nami-san directed at him through her tear-filled eyes.

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

Multi coloured unwanted guests barged in on Sanji while he was preparing food for Pudding.

He said nothing and kept working, all the while anticipating the usual slew of mockery for his unroyal-like behaviour. None came, however, and the only sound came from utensils clattering and food sizzling and bubbling on the stove.

The silence made his chest tighten, and every few moments his eyes darted towards his three intruders, watching for any dangerous movements. There was still nothing. The trio had seated themselves at the small dining table in that kitchen, and were just sitting there doing nothing.

His hands began to tremble, unwittingly. He had to steady his right hand with his left to lift the pot of pasta from the burner. He drained the pasta and, as he stirred it into the sauce, he glanced back at the table. A shiver ran through his body when he saw that there was only two, now. Where did—

“I want that,” came a low voice from his other side.

“Gah!” Sanji screamed and nearly dropped his spatula.

Niji had made his way over unnoticed, and was pointing at the burger patties still cooking in the other pan. “I want two,” he spoke again.

Sanji stared. Niji stared back.

Completely bewildered, Sanji could only say, “It’s not done yet.”

“Then I want that,” Niji said, pointing at a plate of sandwiches to the side.

Still very confused, Sanji waved a “go ahead” gesture, and went back to finishing the pasta. Somehow that weird little interaction stopped his tremors and, even if he couldn’t say he was no longer tense, he was able to proceed without hiccups.

Moments later, the sandwiches were still untouched and Niji doesn’t seem to have even moved a muscle when Sanji returned from getting a plate of buns and lettuce for the burgers. Shaking his head, Sanji turned off the stove and lifted the pan of patties.

Niji looked over, then. “Is that done? I still want two,” he said. He glanced slightly at the buns and toppings on the other plate, and then added, “I don’t want the bread and green stuff. Or any gross sauce.”

“Yes, yes, now go away, you’re bothering me,” Sanji replied without thinking. His insides were already recoiling the moment the words left his mouth, and he waited for the angry expletives to come. He was surprised when Niji instead immediately returned to the table without another word and sat back down. 

There was no time to dwell on it, though. He made a quick check of the roasting meat (still a little more to go), flipped the grilled fish, and then began arranging the burgers. The best one went into the bentou box. He put the lopsided ones on a plate and the remaining patties on another. After a moment’s consideration, he ladled a portion of curry in a saucier, and placed it on the plate of meat patties alongside condiments in little soufflé cups. He brought three sets of knives and forks alongside the plates to the table.

”Whatever happened to ‘royals shouldn’t cook’?” Sanji mumbled quietly to himself as he laid down the plates.

He was heading back towards the stove, when from behind him he heard Ichiji’s voice, “You already did the cooking. The food can’t be unmade.”

Sanji hadn’t been expecting a reply, and he instinctively directed his attention to the table again. Yonji was stuffing his face with the burgers and Niji quietly eating his meat patties—Sanji couldn’t help raising an eyebrow when he saw Niji had poured on the curry. Ichiji wasn’t eating, and he just sat there looking at Sanji with his arms crossed.

Why? Why why what why what…?

A dozen formless questions spun in Sanji’s head as he and Ichiji held eye contact. Then it became too much, and Sanji almost ran back to his cooking as though in escape.

In many ways it was. Cooking was his solace, and going through the motions helped his nerves settle back down, even with the gleaming gold around his wrists serving as a reminder that one of his last few comforts could be taken away from him any time.

In the middle of placing sandwiches in the bentou box, a thought made him pause: Niji hadn’t touched those for some reason. He glanced at the table, and saw that Niji had finished his portion and was just sitting idly again. Sanji looked down at the sandwich plate, then at the empty plate on the table, and it suddenly dawned on him that Niji didn’t take the sandwiches earlier because he had been waiting to be served like the stupid spoiled prince that he was.

Sanji could only huff. “I give up, this is crazy.”

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

It wasn’t until the bentou box was packed and ready that Sanji realized that what he had been making was the typical menu for the crew aboard the Sunny. Between the unwelcome presence of certain individuals—who all still haven’t left yet—and his jumbled emotions, he hadn’t been thinking as clearly as he should be while cooking. In fact, come to think of it, he probably hadn’t even been thinking at all, and was only moving out of pure instincts.

Even though he didn’t prepare the meat in a Luffy-sized portion, it was still way too much for someone like Pudding. As he was mulling over the food, Ichiji’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“By the way, Sanji, we don’t actually have hostages in the East Blue.”

“What?!”

He whirled around so fiercely he knocked over the bottle of wine. It fell back on the counter with a thud, and normally Sanji would’ve worried about it falling to the floor, but he paid it no mind.

“What do you mean there’s no hostage?” Sanji asked, his voice rising in a mix of hope, fear, and rage. “If this is a trick—”

“Our ships are all here; we don’t have anyone assigned to target that restaurant of yours,” Ichiji said, his voice flat and toneless as usual. “Big Mum’s crew gave us the picture and information and let us handle the rest. I do not believe they sent any ambush parties over themselves.”

“If you’re worried, do you want to give them a call?” Yonji asked, holding out a dendenmushi that had materialized from who knows where. His tone was light, and the corners of his mouth was turned in a slight smile as he spoke.

Sanji exploded.

“You’re telling me, now, that you’ve been making empty…you’ve been threatening me…and it was all nothing?!” The words came in a mad rush and he was stumbling and slurring over them in frothing rage. “You think this is funny, don’t you? Playing with people’s lives? Why are you even telling me this?”

He wanted to scream, to hit them, and he also wanted to cry. He thought of the cruel words and punches and the burning pain of electricity searing his body. Luffy’s expression burning determination, even with his bruised and battered body, and the haunting expression on Nami-san’s face. Everything he went through, everything he did…what was the point of it all?

“People die when they die,” Ichiji stated matter of factly, “All we needed was for the wedding to proceed as planned. You’re getting married tomorrow, so I don’t see any difficulties in telling you this.” He tilted his head a little, and then said, “I’m sure you’ve heard that your crew mates have been caught, yes? We might be able to negotiate to bring Cat Burglar Nami with us after the wedding. I’m sure having a familiar face around would make you feel more comfortable.”

“If you touch Nami-san I will rip you to shreds,” Sanji snarled. “I can’t believe this. You also threatened to kill all the hostages if I fought you. What was that about?”

“That’s your punishment. You kicked me for the sake of that kitchen girl.” It was Niji who responded this time. “As royalty, you can’t attack your big brother for the sake of that kind of lowly servant. If you want a match, I’ll take you anytime.”

“I stopped associating myself with this miserable lot ages ago.”

“But you are our brother,” says Yonji, who was idly poking at the dendenmushi on his hand, “What else would you be?”

Sanji gaped at Yonji like he was speaking gibberish. Then he cast his eyes towards the other two. There were none of the twisted smirks he’d seen on their faces the other day. All he saw were vague looks that seemed like on the border of forming expressions, but didn’t quite fully get there.

“What—what is wrong with you? With all of you? Why are you acting like this?” Sanji choked out. Their calm, matter of fact manner somehow deflated his rage. He almost would rather they berate and hit him again, because he could kick and fight and vent out all his feelings. This, though, only made him feel like he was losing his mind.

Three faces glanced at each other around the table, and then almost in unison they said, “This is just how we’ve always been.”

At those words, Sanji recalled in his memories the echoes of his own tiny voice asking the same question, “Why are you like this?”

 “This is just how we are,” three equally tiny voices gave the same answer.

There was a vision at the back of his mind, then, of a view framed by the metal of an iron mask, and three pairs of little eyes peering at him through bars of steel. The same three pairs that were directed at him, in the present, except on the faces of grown men.

Wait… eyes?

Sanji blinked. He didn’t know how it never registered until then that Ichiji and Niji weren’t wearing their dark glasses and goggles. He also hadn’t noticed before that their hair were different, too. Ichiji’s wasn’t sticking up like a chicken’s comb, but loose and relaxed, and he thought it looked a little like Reiju’s hair. Niji’s hair was also not in that…whatever that weird style he usually wore, which Sanji had mentally dubbed “the banana”, but draping down his face like waterfalls. Yonji’s hair doesn’t have that little tail at the back of his head that looked like a duck’s butt.

What could this possibly mean—? No, that’s not important. He could puzzle over this later. He had to find Pudding immediately.

This whole time, with the looming threat on Baratie, there was nothing he could do besides let himself be dragged around and placate Big Mum enough to plead her for mercy. Now that he knew Baratie was safe, he could save Nami-san and Luffy. Pudding had helped them get in; surely she could also help them get back out.

With the explosive bracelets still on, Sanji himself still had no chance of leaving. Besides, after what he’d done he didn’t deserve to return to the Sunny. The least he could do to atone for it was to get all the Mugiwara crew out of there safely.

This was no time for flowers and wine, but Sanji still grabbed the food before rushing out. He had prepared that bentou to make up for the dinner Pudding had missed, after all. She could always have it later. The portions… no time to worry about that too.

He sprinted through the chateau, all the while somehow trying to keep the food from being jostled too much. However, when he made it to Pudding’s room, the stupid talking door would not let him in, saying that Pudding was busy.

Busy? Busy with what? With who?

For a moment, Sanji felt a little fear creep into his heart and considered returning later. If one or more of Big Mum’s other children was inside… No, he had every right to be there, as the bridegroom. He could always say he wanted to discuss the wedding, or… other private matters. His mind wandered a little at the thought, but he shook himself out of it. More important matters are at hand.

Pudding’s room had a window overlooking the balcony. He could take a quick look inside to see what’s going on inside before deciding what to do next. As he got closer, he heard laughter. His heart lightened a little. It doesn’t seem like she was busy with something too serious. Maybe he could get her to let him in through the window—

It was then that Sanji discovered that the girl he thought to be his single source of hope in this whole ordeal was, in truth, poison coated in deceivingly sweet layers of custard.

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

He visited Reiju in the infirmary, after making sure to immobilize the guard outside. He told her, with his head held in his hands, about what he’d overheard Pudding say. In turn she revealed to him his bracelets were fake, and told him to flee immediately.

“It’s truly a pity for our brothers, but at this point, death would be more merciful than this sad excuse of a life they’ve been living,” Reiju said.

“What do you mean?” Sanji asked.

“Remember what you asked me before, if they ever act unusual sometimes?”

“Yes,” he replied, immediately straightening up. That had slipped his mind in the confusion. “Actually, I just saw them act weird again. They… they told me Baratie is not in danger.” As he talked more and more words rushed out, “… Ichiji’s not wearing his sunglasses. Niji too. And he wanted food. And they didn’t call it rat fodder…”

Reiju smiled sadly, listening to him ramble.

“I don’t know if you remember,” she interrupted, her voice soft, “Every once in a while you managed to keep up just a bit better…”

“I do!” Sanji almost shouted, “I think… I thought… I thought they weren’t terrible to me if I can do well, and I tried so hard, and…”

The memories that he thought he’d forgotten floated back to the surface. Now that he spoke it out loud, he did vaguely recall that those three were ‘different’ on the days that he thought he didn’t fall so far behind. He remembered the flash of memory from the day before, of successfully putting up a proper fight in swordsmanship class. He was beginning to remember other moments too, like occasionally tying with Niji or Yonji during track running.

“…but it wasn’t ever good enough in the end,” he said, looking at Reiju. “And that wasn’t even why they’re like that, was it?”

His older sister then told him the story of their mother, how she fought Vinsmoke Judge over his insane plans, and how she took a drug concoction that destroyed her body in desperate attempt to save her children.

“The drug she took took effect on all of you, but only you were born as a regular human being,” Reiju said. “Those three… On those days that they changed, it’s not that you did better, it’s because they’re the ones who lost their abilities.”

“Lost their abilities?" he echoed. "What do you mean? How?”

“I don’t know. Their enhancements would just regularly come and go without warning. In the end, they weren’t the perfect war machines that father wanted, but they weren’t regular humans either. Those brief moments were probably the closest thing to ‘normal’ they could ever be.” Reiju sighed. “As I said, Sanji, death would be more merciful to them. Living this kind of halfway existence is not really living. Escape and let Germa be destroyed. It’s the only thing we deserve.”

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

Sanji left the infirmary with his mind in a fog. When Yonji showed him the manufactured Germa soldiers, he had been sick to the core, but never in his imaginations did he expect Judge to be so… so insane as to do that to his own wife and unborn children. Had it not been for mother’s sacrifice, Sanji himself might have been…no, even with what mother did, if anything had gone differently, it might have been Ichiji or Niji or Yonji in his place. Sanji would have been on the side doing the tormenting, then, and he’d never have been any the wiser.

What a horrible thought.

The blond slumped to the floor. Those three… He had always thought of them inhuman monsters, and knowing that he’d been mostly right didn’t give him any satisfaction. They didn’t become like that willingly, did they? Something had been ripped out of them before they were even fully conscious, and they could only live on with whatever mangled mess of their hearts that were left.

“This is just how we are”, they had said. That really had been the truth, after all. In all these time he’d been half convinced that he had dreamed up those moments were they were decent, or if they’d been pulling a trick him, but no—it was truly their nature, and he didn’t know if it was possible for them to be any different. 

Ever since he was hauled away from Zou, he despised the constant reminder he faced that he still had blood ties to the Vinsmoke family. It made him feel like he was smothered in thick sludge, weighed down and dirty at the same time. That interaction earlier, though, in the kitchen... It had been truly bizarre, but he had to admit—it wasn’t all bad.

Ichiji revealed the truth about the Baratie and they offered to let him call the restaurant. His heart lurched. Were they… trying to make him feel better? Niji and Yonji called him brother, too, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  There was no mocking, no berating—it just was.

Sanji didn’t dare hope—tried to force himself not to think—because he knew it would only hurt all the more, but he couldn’t stop that little voice inside that told him maybe they were trying to be his family, in the only way they knew how. Perhaps the faintest glimpse of what might have been, if life was much kinder to all of them.

He pulled at his hair. Maybe Reiju did have a point, that death would be mercy compared to this kind of warped state of living. Besides, even if he wanted to do anything about Big Mum’s plot, there was nothing he could do.

A lumpy looking individual came waddling by just then and snatched a piece of meat from his food basket. In a flash he remembered Luffy declaring he would starve to death if Sanji doesn’t return to feed him.

That stubborn rubber man always meant every word he said.

Sanji kicked away the greedy lump, took back the meat, and fled the scene.

Making sure all of the crew made it out of there safely was what he’d initially set out to do after all. First, he needed to find Luffy. Then, feed Luffy. After that, the Mugiwara captain could probably manage on his own. Sanji would deal with whatever were to follow as they came.

[to be continued]

*VS*VS*VS*VS*

It's my first attempt at writing something that is a little longer. I hope you enjoy.

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

Idk what kind of AU you’d have to write for this to make sense but

Time Travel fic where all the Straw Hats go back to a little before the start of the series with all their skills and power-ups intact, and then for whatever fic-specific plot reason there’s some new actually dangerous threat in the East Blue

Which is how Ace, who recently joined White Beard, finds himself in a pickle and before he can even really dive into the fight some random green-haired swordsman and a blond dude in a suit proceed to absolutely demolish the enemy coming after him and his crew

And while Ace is standing there trying to figure out Friend Or Foe these two obscenely overpowered randos just turn to him like “Sup Ace, how ya doin, we have a message from your brother.”

And Ace, naturally, freaks the fuck out. His brother??? No, not his brother, Luffy is only sixteen. He’s not allowed to get into any real trouble for another year. He PROMISED. No.

And these two dudes (who say that they are, in fact, pirates and that Luffy is their captain) proceed to reassure Ace that Luffy is keeping his promise and they’re all sitting around twiddling their thumbs until he’s old enough to set sail, but in the meantime they decided to run a couple errands for him and that includes tipping Ace off about Blackbeard. (How?? Does Luffy know??? About Blackbeard???? Never mind the apparent treason how does Luffy even know that Teach exists?!?!?!)

And then they just. Fucking leave. They don’t explain how they know his brother or how they’re both so bullshit strong despite Ace having never heard of either of them before, they don’t even really tell Ace who they are. They just tell him one of his friends is going to murder the other and also his brother says Hi. Then they turn and walk away.

Ace doesn’t see them again for a little over a year, when the Straw Hat Pirates finally show up in the Grand Line and — yup, there they are, the blond dude and green dude and his fucking brother, who is, if his wanted posters are to be believed, the new emperor of the sea despite having only been a pirate for less than six months.

Ace gets him by the neck and proceeds to throttle him while demanding to know what the fuck is going on, and that little rubber asshole just laughs.

[earthlyruins]

"beauty and the beast au where zoro's the beast and sanji's—" okay sure yeah but what about when sanji's the beast and zoro's the beaut.

zoro's good with kids and good with math. we've seen this. we've experienced it. he play fights with the kids regularly and helps out with stocks and sales of local shops

think of link twilight princess... big brother swordsman

also better than All of the knights in the village. this includes a very certain red, blue, and green haired trio. they're all very bitter about it. among other things

zoro's also the only person to ever use three swords so like. there's that. everyone thinks he has a few screws loose. he doesn't. or so he proclaims

insert kuina backstory... he makes a promise to himself to become the greatest swordsman in the world. it's just that he's, in a word, broke. and also a little sentimental but don't let nami hear him say that

judge is the head of this mini military and is very adamant on trying to recruit zoro to siege the palace on the hill. for Some Reason.

nami conspires with zoro that it's because he has some long lost enemy up there. Little Does She Know

meanwhile sanji lives alone in the castle, cursed. but not in the way you'd think. rather than a hulking beast, he's pretty much the same if not for the fact that he has a helmet on his head. thanks, dad.

thinking about the rest of the straw hats being little dancing singing objects. that was more or less an accidental side effect of the curse (sanji took off his helmet once, and it knocked luffy into a candle and ussop into a clock and well.)

he's slowly starving (hence why he tried to take the helmet off). the cook who cannot taste his food. throw in a wilting rose metaphor and when the last petal falls is when he dies

fortunately he has an old man by the name of zeff who literally won't let that happen. also all his friends that will fight death to keep sanji kicking

quite literally in some cases

so that's why when nami goes missing trying to explore the mysterious castle and zoro immediately goes to follow her, zeff practically knocks down his door to set the fear of god in him

too bad zoro doesn't believe in any god

but hey fine he won't hurt the creature in the castle. creature. period. zeff hits him over the head with a baguette

zoro finds nami and also sanji. decides in a split moment to announce he'll trade places with her. she is sitting on a couch. unharmed. she wouldn't have Been harmed. nami proceeds to call him a fucking idiot

sanji laughs at him, and zoro refuses to leave out of spite. he learns that sanji is a priss and a prince or sometimes a princess depending on the day, that he has a brilliant passion for cooking (whose skills are similar to a certain chef back in the village), and that when he laughs, zoro finds himself laughing too.

discovers sanji's dream of the all blue, and zoro finds himself telling sanji about his dream of becoming the greatest swordsman, of wado, of kuina

and eventually, Eventually, he finds out the details of sanji's curse. why he sometimes can't dredge out the energy to get out of bed (and why it's getting more and more frequent these days), and why he can't take off that helmet when the key is right there. and what the flower is all about.

proceeds to Book It when sanji tells him about judge and his brothers. except he doesn't tell sanji this, so sanji is sitting around in the castle, heartbroken and wondering Why he's heartbroken, while zoro is marching back to his village, Pissed

zeff pulls him aside though and they go and find reiju after zoro tells him that sanji's condition is worsening

zoro comes Back but this time with sanji's real dad and sister in tow and after a lot of tears and yelling (at zoro) ((and zeff)) (((then at zoro again))) they devise a plan on how to take judge down.

zoro plans on beating up ichiji niji and yonji simultaneously which sanji disagrees with. specifically because he wants to be the one to kick niji into next week

yadayadayada insert fight scene bc this is already ungodly long and judge gets exiled and imprisoned. niji gets drop kicked. the helmet comes off just as the timer runs out (thinking that the only way it could come off was to not only have someone fall For "the beast" but to have said beast love himself too. which zoro did. #love)

happily ever after. sanji eats and cooks and zoro fights and they take care of each other and find all blue. okay goodnight