#ends are sad but felt nice

[boggysbitch]

made me laugh, made me cry

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

May I offer you some wizbands in this trying time? Plus a short comic ft. the rest of the polycule below:

The other tavs are Othello ( @laiostoudenn ), Heron ( @oathweave ), and Theo ( @irilya96 )

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dervampireprince]

I just rewatched moonknight and your audios are literally the only thing keeping me alive in that somewhat dead fandom THANK YOU 😭😭🙏

i do feel adrift making moon knight stuff still so thank you

[gemharvest]

thought i have been mulling over in my head can yuou fucking humor me for a moment

[kanene-yaaay]

The Only One Monster

Kanene's Notes: I started to write this fic like oiuygtfrdfghj an month ago and completely forgot about it as it was burried in my drafts so that is the fun fact of today kjhgfghjkl This was not written for Jiang Cheng's birthday but it is a convinient time so. :D

Warnings: None. Only Familial tickles, since I know some aren't comfortable with that. Around 2.500 words (probably? I forgot to check). Ticklish Jin Ling and Ler Jiang Cheng. A tiny little bit of angst and hurt/comfort.

[~*~]

"Hush, now. Enough." Even in a harsh tone Jiang Cheng brought the kid closer to his chest, heart tearing and brittling with each sniffle. "It's just a nightmare. Is that the behavior of a future sect leader?"

"Jiujiu, stop." His voice was low, so different from his usual snarking words, who would never run out of cutting words, matching him complaint from complaint, shout to shout. Hearing it, Jiang Cheng froze before pulling his nephew even closer, curling all around him as if he could protect them from the world.

He slowly rocked them from one side to another, a hand rubbing his back lightly, just like his jiejie used to do when they were kids and Jiang Cheng ran to her with tears in his eyes. So alike their little A-Ling now. Pressing his lips to the top of his head, the adult held a sigh.

His sister would know what to say in his place. She would comfort with touches soft and caring, with a smile so brilliant that made everything vanish in the pure light of it, so truthful and caring that would leave you wanting to smile too. Jiang Yanli would never say such cutting words, never made her own son sound so small, even if he was (already) almost hitting his shoulder.

But since she wasn't here anymore, he would be. With a too broad hug and a thougher touch, with a lotus pork rib soup that didn't taste the same, with the same lullaby she sang to them with a much rougher voice and all the sharp edges he kept turning and twisting away from his dear waisheng who deserved more than the harsh words of his fool jiujiu.

"What can those dreams even do to you now, brat?" He scoffed, and maybe it was the sleepness of being woken in the middle of the night, of having his entire family in his arms, but his words were softer, the memories of his sister much less hurting than the usual. "Can they hurt you here? Is there anywhere safer than Lotus Pier?"

Jin Ling sniffed and bright, teary eyes turning to look at him, getting away from his chest just enough to do so. "But what if they get in, jiujiu?"

Jiang Cheng grinned and let Zidian send unharming and bright purple sparkles across his arms, in the exact same way that would make A-Ling as a baby squeal and try to chew the ring. Nowadays there was no chewing, but the growing young still stared at it reluctantly amazed. "Let them come, A-Ling, and they will be the example why no one dares to challenge the Yunmeng Jiang Clan nor my family."

With his sleeve (the robe was already ruined anyway) he cleaned the tears and snot, pinching Jin Ling's nose lightly, putting him immediately back to the scowling and trying to push him away with a whine.

"Jiujiu! Weren't you just talking about protecting me?" A knee found a way to the bottom of his ribs and Jiang Cheng very much gracefully did not send the boy back to his room for the disrespect. "Don't complain when I decide to not come here if I need you again!"

Jiang Cheng scowled.

"It's that so? See if I'll try to protect you from the monsters next time you come banging at my door in the middle of the night."

Jin Ling harrumphed exactly like his father used to when they're both teenagers and went back to lay on his chest, burrowing in the warmth as the adult rolled his eyes and laid a hand on his back, rubbing it softly, making him melt even more on the embrace. Both knew he would never have the heart to send him away, night, morning or any other moment.

Sleepness began taking over them, laying as an extra cover over them and Jiang Cheng barely heard his next words, even with his enhanced hearing.

"Jiujiu, is there a monster you've never been able to defeat?"

Way too many memories flashed in his eyes, of darker times and too many battles he could've never won and suddenly a spark of anger flashed in him, wishing nothing more than to push it and them all  the away from him. Wasn’t his efforts enough? What did Jin Ling begging doubting him now? 

But then there was a memory, that only exhaustion could bring with so much softness and so little grief. 

Yanli smiling, a hint of mischievousness in her eyes that only made his curiosity burn brighter as she let go of his bandaged hand and got closer to his ear, whispering: "There is a monster here in Lotus Pier, A-Cheng, one that not even A-Niang or A-Die could win against."

At the time, he gasped and widened his eyes, appalled by this very idea. Their parents were giants, with unending power that was above anything, untouchables, undefeatables. "Not even with Zidian?"

"Not even with Zidian, until today, no one can even approach it in combat without getting caught by its claws."

Jiang Cheng gasped and held her hand, trying to pull her closer, behind him. "I will get him, jiejie! You don't need to worry because I will win. I will."

There was a chuckle behind him, both fond and playful. "You're very brave, A-Cheng. Do you really want to face it?"

"I want! I will protect us, jiejie!"

And his voice, as it always did, was already leaving his mouth before he could even think about it. "There is one."

Jin Ling froze in his arms, face quickly turning up to face him, eyes wide. Jiang Cheng simply stared impassively back. "There is?!"

"Yes. It's an old monster that wanders across the humans and lands, with the power to possess people. Many families have been attacked by it and many other will fallen victims in the future. There isn't a single disciple from the biggest or tiniest sects or villagers and towns in the cultivation world that haven't heard about it." He stopped, narrowed his eyes and frowned in a thoughtful expression. "Maybe the Lans, living all the way up in the mountains with their thousands of rules."

(Somewhere, in Gusu Lan, Wangji sneezed, stopping momentarily his meditation and using the opportunity of distraction to help his son keep being awake for the lesson, softening at those bright giggles he continued to let out.)

"It can be here in Lotus Pier, too?"

"It already is."

"What?! Right now?!"

"Yes, I said. Are you becoming deaf at such a young age?"

"More like you're becoming crazy with old age! You're making no sense! How can a monster be here and no one is doing anything about it?"

"I truly must be getting crazy. I just now imagined that my waisheng decided to be disrespectful, forgetting the education I gave him and is asking for me to break his legs."

Said waisheng scowled at him, as if he was being unreasonable. "Jiujiu, there is no time to joke. If Lotus Pier is being targeted then I can help, I will grab Suihua and-"

"It's here." Before the younger could move, Jiang Cheng locked his arms around him, words grave. "It just got into the room."

"It WHAT?" Jin Ling clued on him, voice high and scared, hands gripping his robes so tightly that for a ke Jiang Cheng almost lost his façade by snorting, only being saved by Jin Ling who kept staring at every wall and object with growing alarm.

"Yes." And before anything else could be said, Jiang Cheng burrowed his hands on the back of the boy's ribs, wincing at the shriek it resulted. In a neutral voice, he continued. "Oh no, A-Ling, it got you."

"Wha-! J-J-JIHIHIHIUJIHIU!" Jiang Cheng began tazing his ribcage and he squealed, falling into an uncontrollable giggling fit as those dancing fingers scribbled over each bone and poked the space in between them, focusing on those awfully ticklish spots that always made his giggles higher and louder. "W-whahahahahaha-ack! Whahahat is thihihihis!"

"The tickle monster, obviously." Jiang Cheng was helpless for the grin that suddenly pulled on his lips at the sound of that laughter, strident and unstoppable, chasing away any cold from the night. Jin Ling began shaking his head and flailing around like a fish, squirming for freedom. Instead of that, however, he only managed to lift his arms enough for the other to start attacking it with scratches and prodding, snorts taking over the laughter as he decided to lightly dig on it. “Didn’t I just tell you? That is the only monster I can’t save you from.”

“NohohohohoHOHOHOT-” The loud giggling became a shrill when Jiang Cheng started to drum the center of his armpit restlessly with his thumbs, the other free fingers lightly wiggling on his ribs once more. “NOHOHOHOHOT A MONSTER! Eek!! JIUJIU!”

“It is.” Freeing his hands he began spidering and skittering his fingers all across his back, increasing all his squirming and wiggling around tenfold, the cackling laughter giving space to a snickering, giggly and squeaky chuckle, better for breathing. “What do you think then, A-Ling? You offered to help, do you think you can defeat it?”

“Ihihihihihihit’s yohohohohu! Snk! Yohohohou!!”

There was a spot on the back, right next to his sides, that would make Jin Ling squeal and guffaw like crazy, leaving even his ears as red as his vermillion mark with how much he was laughing. Jiang Cheng wasted no time before concentrating in scribbling and squeezing every single inch of that spot over and over and over again, summoning the laughter to fill the air with mirth.

“Is it?”

At the answering nods from the kid - his smile so big and bright and so, so similar to his jiejie that Jiang Cheng almost teared up - Jiang Cheng stopped his tickles, letting his hands rest on his sides. For the way Jin Ling kept snickering and jolting from side to side every time his fingers did much as lightly, just barely, almost not touching, claw at it, the ghost tickles were probably running wild at his nerves. 

He let him get enough gulps of air, those shiny eyes looking back at him with a mix of anticipation and joy, so much different from half shichen ago. 

“So it is me, then. I might as well change my question in this case.” Jiang Cheng let out an evil smirk, chuckling slowly and lowly. “Do you think you can defeat your jiujiu, A-Ling?”

With a sudden move, lifted the boy (lately he had been claiming to be ‘too old’ for this and the sect leader was secretly happy at the opportunity) who screamed bloody murder (what a dramatic brat) and immediately began kicking and throwing himself in high pitched crackles as Jiang Cheng decided to actually claw at his sides, actually getting hit on his chest twice (the disrespect) before shoving his head on his stomach and blowing a raspberry at it.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE NOOOOOHOHOHO! GEHEHEHET OOHOHOHOHOHOUT!” Jin Ling felt his eyes close, entire body buzzing with the tickles, snorts, squeals and screech falling from his mouth with no hope of being held back, head throwing backward with the force of his laughter, trashing and squirming around by instinct while holding his jiujiu’s hands in a firm grip. He shrieked when he was moved again, now resting on his lap, almost not listening to the (so rare and delightful) playful voice making his smile grow even bigger. “YOHOHOHOU’RE BEING MEHEHEHEAN! BAHAHAHAHAD JIUJIHIHIHIHIU!!”

Jiang Cheng scoffed in unbelief. “What am I now, Fairy?” Suddenly he grinned again and Jin Ling squealed again in anticipation, trashing more. “The nerve. Actually, I should warn the servants to not bring me my breakfast this morning. Tiny brats who refuse to show any respect are my favorite meal.”

“BAHAHAHAHAHAD JIUJIU! BAHAHAHAHAD!”

The raspberries stopped and Jin Ling took a few giggling breaths before he felt one of the hands on his grip moving.

“Nohohohoho,” he snickered, eyes still closed, trying to pull those hands back into a hug or anything that would stop it from going to the next target. A wiggling finger lightly tickling his armpit quickly weakened his hold, however, and soon that hand was snatching his ankle, making him do a half spin on Jiang Cheng’s legs. “Thihihihihis not ahahahaha fair fihight!” 

“Oh, so if it was a fair fight you think you would win?”

“I would!” Especially because his jiujiu would never try to hurt him, so he was technically right. “Yohohu’re getting ohold!”

“You-!” There came the affronted voice that made him snicker for another unrelated to tickly reasons. “You’re literally begging me to go for the legs.”

And suddenly everything made sense. Unfortunately it was already too late, before Jin Ling could struggle enough to tear his ankle away from the grip there was already raspberries shaking and tickling with an awfully unbearable feeling every single nerve on his sole. He could only shriek when a ‘nomnomnom’ sound began following little nibbles on his toes, everything else in the word disappearing except the tickles and how much he was losing himself in laughter, every muscle finally going limp and tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.

Jiang Cheng gave him a last raspberry and huffed fondly, almost snickering when he realized the kid lightly pushing him away with a frown that didn’t last at all in the face of the remanescent giggles and smiles as he adjusted the younger back on his chest and brought them both back to laying on the bed, kissing his forehead and combing his hair softly.

“I’m getting revenge, tomorrow.” Without opening his eyes, he snuggled more in the embrace. “You’re too silly, jiujiu.” 

Jiang Cheng actually snorted. He was pretty sure that was an opinion that no one else would agree with his waisheng, but it didn’t matter. For once, he thought that they both would be able to go back to sleep again and find no nightmares. “Go to sleep, A-Ling.”

And they both did, falling back to a restful, soft sleep.

[theflyingfeeling]

...😭

[maitanii]

idk why people tell kids not to cry??? like, you need let them cry, they need you to let them cry. they have to know that it’s okay to express their emotions and that crying is completely normal and not something to be ashamed of.

[arsenicflame]

hi so, checking in (sorry, its personal bullshit again, ill get back to the fandom stuff you actually wanted,,,, eventually)

things. are going bad. like, really bad, like last january bad. like im about to lose all my personhood again bad. im hoping its still just going to be a small blip and things will start upticking soon, but. im bracing for that not to be the case. it feels different to me

i vaguely mentioned earlier in the week taking a bit of a step back, and ive decided to extend that into a full break. my queues probably going to run out before im back, though i have slowed it down some. thatll be the only noticable difference for 99% of people. i wont guarantee any dm responses on here, but ill do my best for the couple of people who have me on discord

i didnt really want to do this again but it gets messy in my head, and ive found the best way to control the clawing beast of attention and need and the things that make me want to be a person i dont want to be is to cut it off at the source. its not nice, and it hurts, and it definitely kills the chances of making friends but. i promise you its better than the alternative.

ill see you when i see you, i guess. i hope its soon. i hope this isnt how it feels to be. i hope the feelings that have existed this week go dormant again. but itll be what itll be. i can't change that

[mini-uzzy]

RAAAAHHH RAAAAHHHHHH!!!

[kohakhearts]

theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[suoulfillem]

just finished watching sense8 and i :(

[dolichomorph]

manifesting a new bee!chloe in season 6 🕯️🙏🕯️

[thismission]

major ofmd s2 spoilers but it’s kind of beautiful in a way to see the youngins call That character dying a “typical” bury your gays trope, in a show that is specifically about queer love filled with queer characters who have happy endings, where both casual and passionate gay affection is shown again and again, and always portrayed as something beautiful and tender and good to be embraced