#endless ocean poetry
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l3l-diving-service · 4 days ago
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To My Dearest Sister | Poetry | Endless Ocean 2 | G | Player Character | AO3
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memoriesofthingspast · 6 months ago
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~ “if you’re glad i’ll be frank {🌊}” ~ tom stoppard feat. lonny breaux[? ; july’24] ~ 🎼🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸
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alexanthonymar · 6 months ago
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Denial
i keep having to jump-start my heart and pump oxygen into my lungs i absentmindedly turn blue  and have to keep reminding myself to breathe...breathe...breathe... 
my ribcage is collapsing in on itself  my tongue is dead my hands won't move my eyes see nothing but the tear in the fabric of this fragile reality  i had so carefully crafted for myself 
smoke has vanished, mirrors broken all Dreams are shattering  sweet Delirium, don't abandon me Desire turns into Despair Destruction rains fire  over this once sacred place where do i escape to now? Destiny, please have mercy Death, please take my hand take me far away from here
if it's the end of the world must i keep waking up?
am i just entranced by an angel? oh, but angels do fall, don't they... or maybe get thrown into the abyss by treacherous hands? surely that must be the case (it has to be, there's no way that-)
if i make enough wishes on falling stars will they come true? will i have to trap them  and chain them to me to make it so?  but if i do that, would i be any better than-? please understand, it's nothing personal i just want to reshape the entire world
in battles between gods rarely do humans survive and when it comes to defeating monsters  i think i was braver as a child at least back then i was built out of the certainty  that all the magic in the world would eventually give me a happy ending
i've grown up among the ghosts of all the past lives and broken  fragile things that haunt me  even now, and i don't wanna bury the one hope i have left  in my bloodstream
just let me live in the ocean  where the fire cannot touch me even if there's water in my lungs  i can learn to breathe underwater 
i want to know it all but i don't know if i wanna find out i want to ignore the warning, it’s not real, this isn't happening
maybe one day we'll all forget about this mess as with everything, it'll eventually fade but right now, i'm just gasping for breath 
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spittingwhys · 3 months ago
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Mark Strand, “Black Sea”
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armaansays · 6 months ago
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Your love is like an endless ocean...
✒️ Armaan 🌊
Peace for every scar life can possibly give.
~
~
🍂🍃🌧️🕯️
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euesworld · 2 years ago
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"This ocean of passionate flames in me seeks your eternity, one smile, one breath.. breathing life into me. This tumultuous ocean of rain in me seeks your soul, to make the flowers grow there.. and I'm well aware that I'm not quite good enough, but I do try, I do stare."
Staring into the void, the void speaks to me.. here is your eternity. And then she smiles - eUë
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wickedzeevyln · 3 months ago
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Star and Sea
To you whose throne sits in the halls of fire and light; To you who hang onto the mantel of the midnight sky; lower your gaze down below and see the gap between me and your empyrean heights. The seconds pale as they trickle down my wrist, the hands of the hours already mangled and still I twist, to you I beckon, a lighthouse aflicker with feverish longing, and this time, perhaps more than…
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utahimeow · 1 year ago
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even death will not do us part — satoru gojo
summary — your wedding day with satoru gojo is not exactly conventional.
pairing — satoru gojo x f!reader
warnings — slightly suggestive beginning, pure fluff, established relationship
word count — 3.9k
author’s note — for satoru’s birthday ♡ i put my heart and soul and blood and sweat and tears into this and i hope u can tell. it may be the best writing i’ve ever done, so if u read it, thank u and i love u. also it’s like extremely sappy so pls keep that in mind lol
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After a seemingly endless night, tendrils of golden sunlight come crawling through the blinds. They dance over your flesh that’s dotted with soft bites from your lover, and warm it like soft kisses until your eyes peel open.
Satoru’s already awake, ocean eyes gazing at you. A wave of memories of how he touched you so ardently the night before comes washing over you. After it, a wave of heat, his lustful poetry echoing in your mind until it pools between your thighs. Finally, the heat subsides into something warm, a gentle glow which settles within your ribs.
“Good morning,” your lover rasps, voice heavy with sleep. 
You reach out to him until your hand finds his face, your fingers grazing over soft pink skin, your thumb tracing the ridge of his cheekbone. He’s slightly puffy, eyes still ever so slightly droopy, but slumber is not the only thing that simmers in them.
“Good morning,” you reply, your words hoarse yet covered in honey.
For a while, neither one of you says anything, instead basking in one another. Satoru drinks in the sight of you laying next to him, gulps and gulps and gulps it down like it’s red wine, until he’s drunk. 
“Marry me,” he says. Time stops moving and your heart stops beating momentarily. Your mouth tries to move, tries to give a response, but every word you’ve ever learned suddenly abandons your memory. 
He laughs, so obnoxiously beautiful, but within his eyes that carry a millennium of history there is only pure sincerity.
It shouldn’t surprise you this much—his question—not when Satoru had long since carved a space inside your heart, and you in his. You’d been together so long that sometimes you both forgot you weren’t married, and Satoru had a habit of casually stating things like “when I make you my wife”, because it was undisputed that he would marry you.
Still, somehow you didn’t see it coming, and not like this. Satoru Gojo was a man of grandeur–always dramatic, always making a scene, always showing off in some shape or form, whether it was you or his cursed technique. The last place you would expect him to propose was in bed at ten a.m. after a night where he made you see God himself. Although, the more you think about it, this is where he is home. Where he bears the deepest parts of his being to you and where he may shed the weight of a society that idolises him as a god. Where he can ask you to marry him as just Satoru.
“Don’t go shy on me,” he says, still amused by your disbelief. 
“I-yes. Yes, I’ll marry you,” you say, sobbing out a laugh, launching yourself into his embrace and burying your face into his bare chest. 
“What if we did it today?” he asks, his voice reverberating through you until it almost puts you back to sleep.
“Did what?” you ask.
“Got married.”
Your head shoots up, your eyes flitting rapidly over each of his nonchalant features. Once more, you don’t find a single hint that he’s kidding. “You’re insane.”
“You love me for it,” he says, his face like a mischievous cat’s. “And I can’t spend another minute without you being my wife, so please, elope with me.”
Unlike Satoru, you were never exactly one for grand gestures. He knew you never had dreams of a big fairytale wedding with hundreds of guests or a giant hall, and it’s precisely one of the reasons why he’s asking this of you.
“The higher-ups are going to be pissed,” you say, leaning in close to his face until there’s hardly a hair’s width between your noses. 
“That’s the point,” he tells you. “Is that another yes, then?”
You stare into the depths of his irises, the ones that are swimming with adoration, the ones that have never changed how they stare at you, even after all these years. Not that you had any doubts before, but suddenly you’ve never wanted anything more. The feeling settles into your bloodstream, to your bones, to the very core of your being–certainty.
“Yes, Satoru, I’ll elope with you,” you say, and then your lips are on his. There’s a million words in the way he kisses you, ones that he would never be able to speak even if he tried, so he kisses you and kisses you in hopes that you’ll understand them. He kisses you like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. It is.
You part, sorrowfully, heads spinning, but then you remember you have things to do. 
“I need to start getting ready,” you say, and you already know exactly what his response will be–a groan, a whine, and him begging you to stay in his arms for a little while longer. 
He does just that. 
“Satoruuu,” you say, mimicking the way he whines your name. “The sooner I get ready the sooner we’ll be married. Isn’t that what you want?”
He pouts for the sake of pouting, then his arms loosen around your waist and you leave him with a peck upon his lips before tossing yourself out of bed. 
You spend the next hour and something at your vanity, having never imagined that your wedding day would leave you doing your own hair and makeup.
After Satoru brings you a cup of coffee and plants a chaste kiss to your temple, he heads to the bathroom to shower, leaving you to finish getting yourself ready. When he returns twenty minutes later, he finds you standing in your walk-in closet in only your bra and underwear, looking terribly focused. You don’t need to be a mind-reader to know he wants to tell you to go as you are—he refrains, however. It’s a miracle that he’s able to.
“You should wear that white dress you have. The one with the sleeves,” he suggests, flapping his arms and immediately you know which one he’s talking about. A plain white minidress with flared mesh sleeves and sweetheart neckline that you wore to a fancy dinner once. You fish it out, and Satoru approaches you as you step into it and pull it up your hips. Wordlessly, he zips the back up, holding his breath as he does. 
“I don’t think you’re supposed to see me yet,” you quip, giggling when you turn to face him. 
“Baby, there’s nothing conventional about how we’re getting married,” he grins, giving your ass a tap as you walk past him to pick out your jewellery. 
Of course, he insists on putting your necklace on for you too, a dainty Tiffany chain with a diamond sun pendant that he gifted you for your birthday years back because he liked to call you his sun. Again, the feather-light brush of his fingers over your skin sends bolts of lightning shooting to your fingertips. It’s reminiscent of the way he made you feel a decade ago, before he had even kissed you for the first time, when his cheesy, cat-like smile would send your heart racing and heat rushing to your face. When butterflies would erupt in your belly and you felt like you were floating. For some reason you found it hard to believe that feelings like that would persist, but it is in Satoru’s blood to prove you wrong, and he did, and he does still.
You decide on a pair of glimmering white Jimmy Choo heels, but before you can even think to put them on, Satoru is on his knees, softly grasping each leg of yours so he can slip the shoes on and carefully tighten the straps one by one. It’s something that never fails to make you giddy–to make you question if you’re even worthy of this man (you know you are, after all he’d spent the last few years doing everything in his power to prove to you that he’s the lucky one between you). Still, you think it’s perfectly valid to wonder what you’ve done to deserve someone like this.
Satoru stands then, a perpetual smile upon his glossy pink lips. He’s in a pair of pressed black slacks that hug his thick, toned legs, and a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top buttons left open (because you always tell him you like how good he looks) and nothing to cover his eyes. You’re the only person he’ll be looking at today, after all. He’d die before letting anything obscure his view of you.
He takes your hand and raises it into the air and twirls you around, his eyes drinking in every detail of you, inhaling your sweet, angelic scent, and now it’s his turn to wonder how he managed to get so lucky, as if it doesn’t occupy his mind from the very second he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep. 
He’s still unlearning the idea that he’s alone because it was all that he ever knew from the day that he was born. He’s always had friends and caretakers and people who admired him and who depended on him and who worshipped him, but he was always there at the top, the closest thing to a god that a human could be—by himself. No one could possibly understand him enough to be by his side, not really. Then one day you came along and you slithered your way into the cracks and crevices of his very being and refused to budge, and you showed him that he’s not alone, that there are people who he can trust and depend on and people who he can love. 
He never lets go of your hand, pulling you close to his chest and grinning down at you. His eyes gleam with a mischief that’s all too familiar, one that’s got you instantly suspicious.
“Please don’t hate me,” he says but it’s without any real concern. 
You have an inkling as to what he’s planning, but you don’t even get the chance to open your mouth to question him because one moment you’re standing in the foyer of your home and the next you’re outside of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building. 
He predicts the way you smack his chest and whine out a mildly irritated “Satoru!”–it only makes him grin harder, because he knows how much you hate when he teleports you without warning, but right now he just can’t wait another moment (and neither can you) so you don’t have it in you to be genuinely displeased.
As he makes his way to the entrance, you tug on his arm suddenly to stop him after a certain realisation hits you. 
“Satoru, don’t we need a witness?” you ask. 
His eyes narrow in thought and he looks around, cartoon-like, before his face fills with resolution and he’s strolling away from the building with you in tow. 
“Excuse me,” he exclaims, and you follow his gaze to where an older couple are walking by, hands intertwined. They turn to him inquisitively, so he continues. “My gorgeous fiancée here and I are about to be wed. All of our friends were too busy today, so we don’t have any witnesses. Would you spare a moment of time for a young, smitten couple?”
You roll your eyes, but the grin smirk your lips betrays you. “We’re sincerely sorry for interrupting your day. What my insufferable fiancé here means to say is we would appreciate it greatly if you would be our witnesses.”
The couple take a glance at one another, silently communicating before they face you and Satoru once more, nodding their heads.
“It’s our day off, we were just going to walk around the city anyway,” the lady explains, her pale, weathered lips stretching into a gentle smile.
Thus, you waltz into the city hall altogether, and only now does it begin to settle in that you’re about to marry Satoru Gojo. The morning had gone by so quickly– you’d only been awake less than four hours, and during that time you never once stopped to let any of it sink in.
Now, it sinks in. All the way to your core, to the fibres and cells that make up your being. Inside your ribs your heart is swollen, filled to the brim with scarlet red until it overflows and paints everything around it, until every part of you, every seam that holds you together has been altered, touched by something that Satoru gifted you on the first day you met him.
Your lover seems to move in slow motion. Your breath is caught in your throat. It’s a dream, you’re sure of it. Then Satoru squeezes your hand, ever perceptive of your thoughts, and reminds you that it’s not. 
After gathering a pile of documents, a man in a suit takes you to a room that’s a smaller version of a court and begins to lay out the papers, simultaneously explaining each one’s purpose and indicating what you and Satoru must fill out. You provide him with your own documents–birth certificates and proof of residence, and then the two strangers who had offered themselves to you as witnesses give their signatures. 
Your officiant makes his speech in a professional language, far from the flowery words given by priests or family friends in churches or venues adorned with flowers and ribbons along every wall.
Lack of preparation means your vows are a repetition of a script written decades ago: you take Satoru to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
During Satoru’s turn, he hesitates. His eyes shine with a strange epiphany as he stares down at you. 
“...From this day forward, until the end of time. Even death will not do us part.”
There are no words in any language, dead or alive, that are adequate enough to describe the elation you experience. There is no concept, idea, or theory that would truly reveal the way that you are consumed by love for him. It runs through your bloodstream, intrinsic to your very being. 
The officiant announces that you and Satoru are husband and wife. Now you are one flesh and bone. He leans forward, kisses you, and it’s a promise of eternal devotion.
Outside of the city hall, where time no longer stands still but you still feel as though you are not inside of your body, your husband Satoru Gojo bows to the man and woman who made your marriage possible. 
Satoru Gojo does not bow. And while it is easy to attribute it to some god complex, to the product of his upbringing, as many do, those to whom Satoru has shown his soul know that it is rebellion. It is the denial of a convention he refuses to assimilate with, one he does not believe in, one which begs children to be grateful to those who have sown them as though they had the choice to be sown.
When Satoru Gojo does bow, it is not without good reason. Most often it is only when he owes someone his life—so he bows to the two strangers, whose signatures on a piece of paper mean that he is eternally yours.
Beside him, you bow too.
“Thank you,” Satoru says, then both of you straighten up to find the couple smiling before you. There is kindness etched into every line on their face, a fondness simmering in their eyes. Their arms are linked, and all of a sudden you’re looking in a mirror.
“Congratulations on your marriage,” the woman says. “I’m certain you will flourish together.”
“You know, young people are always getting into relationships, but seeing true love like what you have with one another… It’s a rare thing nowadays. Please cherish that,” the man says.
“We’ll be forever grateful for you,” you say. “Thank you.”
The four of you part, but the couple, whose names you do not know, now lives in a part of your mind that can never be erased.
The first thing Satoru does as your husband, as you walk down the streets of Tokyo with your hands laced together, is suddenly disappear into a flower shop as you pass by it, before emerging once more and handing you a bouquet of crimson carnations and white roses with a cheshire cat smile on his face.
“Your wedding bouquet,” he says.
“Oh, Satoru, they’re beautiful,” you muse, allowing your nose to absorb their earthy scent. “Thank you.”
You tug him by the hand that’s woven with yours, pulling him down to plant a kiss upon his cheek.
The next stop is a jewellery store, and you yelp as Satoru pulls you inside with him this time. 
“Pick whatever ring you like, baby,” he tells you as you stand before the glass case where thousands of crystals glimmer back at you, splayed out on a bed of white. “Just to wear until you pick your actual one.”
Blood warms your face. It’s not meant to be a brag. Even if he didn’t have generations of wealth in his bank account, he’d buy you as many rings as you wanted until you found the perfect one. For you, he would find a way.
Your eyes wander over every diamond, over gold and silver and platinum, and it’s not long at all before they all start to look the same. Not wanting to spend your entire wedding day inside a jewellery store, you land on a simple diamond-studded silver band and point it out to Satoru.
“That one?” he asks. 
You nod, a satisfied smile making your lips curl.
Satoru flags down the jeweller, a thin woman with shiny skin, requesting the ring you want. She tells him each of the five diamonds weighs 0.2 carats, making the ring a total of one carat, as if it’ll make a difference to either of you. He doesn’t ask her for the price, but she tells him it’s 550,000 yen—practically theft for someone from the Gojo clan. 
After picking out a matching plain silver band for himself, you and Satoru leave the store and continue strolling through the city. To everyone else, you look like no more than an enamoured couple like the millions of others in Tokyo, and while a part of Satoru feels like he wants to wander up to random strangers to brag to them that you’re his wife, another part cherishes this little secret between you two.
From the day he was born, Satoru Gojo’s wedding was to be a grand affair. Sorcerers from far and wide would gather to witness the expansion of the Gojo clan. It was to be a several day-long event, planned intricately by the higher ups without room for any say from the bride and groom. Satoru did not want that—not for himself, but especially not for you.
Now he laughs as he imagines the higher ups’ faces when they realise he has not only married but eloped behind their backs. Though he thinks he’ll keep his left hand in his pocket the next few times he pays them a visit, at least for a few weeks.
“What?” you ask. His grin spreads from his face to yours.
“Nothing. Are you hungry?” 
“Ugh, yes,” you say. Suddenly your empty stomach becomes even emptier, howling agonisingly loudly.
“Sushi Go?” 
“Please.” 
The nearest one is ten minutes away. When you get there, you sit in a booth next to the conveyor belt, with Satoru insisting on shoving himself into the seat next to you rather than across from you. As soon as his heat radiates into you, however, you feel like melting into him.
After ordering almost the entire menu despite your scolding, Satoru finds the ring boxes and pulls them out of the ribbon-tied bag from the jeweller. He takes your left hand, gently, as though you’re made of glass, and slides the glittering ring onto your fourth finger. He brings it to his lips, then his velvety lips kiss just above where the ring rests.
“Beautiful,” he says. He’s looking at your eyes, not the ring.
You twist it around your finger, lungs empty as it catches every ray of light that comes its way and tosses it back at your eyes. 
“It’s a little big, but I love it.”
“I’ll get you the perfect one, don’t worry,” he says. “To make up for no engagement ring.”
“You make me sound so materialistic,” you quip, taking his hand into yours and slipping the matching silver band onto his bony finger.
“Just spoiled,” he corrects.
You narrow your eyes at him, but it turns into hearts not a moment later. He makes it impossible.
“I love you, Satoru Gojo,” you say, holding up your hands as you lace your fingers together with his.
“I love you,” he says, and the smug, cocky front vanishes, and he bares himself, his true self, to you. “More than anything in this world. I’m gonna prove it to you every single day from now on.”
Your giggle is drenched in fondness. “You already do that.”
“Then I’ll do it even better. This is a promise of that,” he says, thumb stroking over the ring he put on your finger.
His eyes don’t hold an ounce of hesitation, of questioning, of doubt. Only truth.
Your food arrives, and you wish you could say you feel bad about how overtly gross you and Satoru are being, feeding sushi rolls to each other with twinkling eyes, but everything inside you is screaming with euphoria that you can’t bring yourself to care. 
You wipe a drop of soy sauce from the corner of his lips, and he stares at you like you put the sun and the stars and the moon in the sky.
Not to your surprise, you and Satoru don’t finish all of the food he ordered. One of the waiters offers to box up the leftovers, then returns with two paper bags and hands them to your husband, whose unoccupied hand takes yours once more.
He decides he wants to take you to the park. He’s not sure why. It just feels right, and all you want is to spend time with him, so you tell him the park sounds perfect. It’s only another fifteen minute walk, anyway.
When you get there, the emerald lawns are teeming with families, couples, friends. Children run as if they can fly, dogs chase after tennis balls like it is their life mission. Satoru whisks you away from it all however, taking you into the trees.
Nestled amongst the Japanese chinquapin and zelkovas, a cherry blossom spreads its branches out like arms, its blossoms like pink fingertips that flutter as the wind swims through them. Satoru sinks into the cushion of grass at the base of the tree, leaning his broad back against the trunk. Like a cat, you find your way into his lap and rest your head upon his chest, next to his heart. The way his arms wrap around you is instinct.
Sparrows and finches flit about the branches, dancing as they move from one tree to another. Two turtle doves perch together, huddling into the other even though the air is warm.
Even if you and Satoru do not stay bound together in this life, if death takes you or him early, one thing you know for certain—you’ll find him again in another life. Right now, however, you have him in this life, and nothing else matters.
dedicated to @ushiwhacka and @tetsuskei <3 i love u both
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sorcerous-caress · 1 year ago
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Type of romantic gifts they'd give you
[Bg3, fluff, nb!reader]
[Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Shadowheart, Astarion, Laezel, Halsin, Minthara, Karniss]
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Wyll
Flowers. Each bouquet conveys a different meaning and tells a hundred tales about his feelings for you. From the petal colours to the delicate ribbon holding the stems together, not a single detail was overlooked.
Enteries to both worlds. Invites to the most eloquent galas reserved for the noble class, elegent clothes and glittering jewellery. And warm heartfelt welcomes into the most popular tavrens for adventurers, even the dangerous ones greet you and Wyll with cold drinks and a warm meal.
A shoulder to lean on, someone to be your own hero. The royalty treatment becomes the norm for you, a quiet dance in your shared home, swaying slowly as the rain scatters against the windows outside.
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Karlach
Cheesy handmade coupons for hugs. Physical affection is a big part of the way she shows love, yet no hugs feel better than the ones she knows both of you want, rather than only her. These hand drawn coupons are to give her reassurance in a way that you also crave her embrace as much as she does.
Taking you out to her favourite spots. Introducing you to all her past and current friends. Absolutely involving you in every aspect of her inner circles and slowly integrating you into her world. She wants all the people that she loves to know each other, to be there, and to support each other. Friends, family, and neighbours, she craves a community.
Carrying your stuff. Be it your bags, equipment, or anything. She enjoys being strong for you, never letting you lift a heavy thing ever. Giving you her jacket if you get cold, even switching your shoes if yours are uncomfortable. Dress however you want, she knows how to fight after all.
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Gale
Homecooked meals. Frozen soup in food containers. You'll never go hungry with him around. Love is a major ingredient in each dish he makes, recipes passed down from generations. Restaurants' food becomes dull in comparison. No bakery dessert can compare to his home baked pie.
A picnic near the sea side. It's windy, the air is refreshing and nice. Waves come crashing gently, almost brushing against your feet before retreating back. Tara purrs in your lap, her wings warming your hand underneath it as you scratch her fur. Gale is by your side, telling you about a new discovery he made in his research. Content in staying by your side despite the crown laying at the bottom of the ocean in front of you.
Constellations seeming brighter, the sky looks as if it held twice as many stars than usual. There's a sparkle in his eyes, wrinkles at their edges from his smile.
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Shadowheart
Wine/non-alcoholic drinks and sweets. She has a taste for delicacies and sharing them with you. Whatever she picks, it's always somehow very rich in flavour, melts against the tongue, and the aftertaste is an experience by itself.
Takes you to her home, visiting her parents who welcomed you as if you were another child of theirs. For the first time in her life, she has a family, and she wants to include you in it. You are a part of it, after all. A part of her.
Nursing your sickness away, sticking with you through thick and thin. Even at your most ill of states. She doesn't pat an eye at you throwing up, sneezing, or not having the energy to shower. She helps you through it. She never judges you over it, unconditional love in its purest forms as she ensures your recovery.
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Astarion
Precious poetry he wrote himself. As much as he scoffs over anything too chessy, he can't help using his mother tongue and spinning endless lines about you in elvish in his private journal. On the rare occasion, giving you a glimpse through it. Pretending to leave his journal open by pure coincidence in front of you, on the exact page of the peom with your name on it.
The both of you traverse the underdark. He takes you to a special spot he found under a sussur tree. The blue glow of the silver branches lights up the edges of his hair like a halo, and your eyelids feel heavy with your head on his lap.
Stiching the holes in your clothes. Maintaining them in his free time and making sure they are cared for. Each piece that might hold a sentimental value to you or a precious memory receives special treatment from him. Sometimes, he stiches a joke or two into your undergarments that you don't realise until much later on.
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Laezel
Gifts you a sharp and expertly smithed sword. Silver in colour with various ruby red stones decorating the handle, it feels at home in your grip, specifically made for your hands.
Takes you as her guide through Faerun, let's you introduce her to the places you love, the things you like. You can tell her interest is genuine, he curiosity is evident as she tries everything you recommend to her.
Reads to you, each night she'd indulge your curiosities and read one of the many githyanki literature disks you've accumulated. Her voice never tires, she pronounces each word with care and emotion. It's beyond soothing, even her comments inbetween narrating the story never fail to make you smile.
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Halsin
Blessings of nature extend to you as well. The birds don't fly away when you approach, the tree branches don't get caught in your clothes, and the bugs take a polite detour around you as they crawl. He shares the love he received with you.
You've never seen so many children rush to you before, look up to you with respect, and search for guidance. He grants you the opportunity to raise the ones who will hold the torch after us, to imped your wisdom upon them, and help shape a better future.
Never growing cold again, buried deep against his soft fur as gaint bear paws hold you so softly. Despite the pouring snow outside, you sink deeper into his warm embrace. Cute round ears flicker in the corner of your vision, and you can't help but rub them alongside his soft belly.
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Minthara
jewellery, each one is unique and more expensive than the last. Various earrings with pearls and necklaces with glittering diamonds. Even a special one that hugs your neck deliciously, with her name on it. Body accessories hugging your curves and wrapping around you. A pair of matching rings.
Takes you into her heart, behind the iron walls, behind the mazes of ice. Shows you her tender beating vulnerable flesh, the small kindness she protected so fiercely and hid from the world. Her true love, yours for the taking and yours alone.
The disembodied heads of your enemies in a gift box wrapped for you, everyone who has ever wronged you has their skulls displayed on the shelves. She becomes your blade, your sword and shield.
.
Karniss
Prayers. Offers them to you as he kneels, talking in a hushed tone as he begs a greater being for your safety, for your heart, and for you love. For their blessings upon him to shield you from the darkness, his split mind making him seeth in anger and hatred at all those who dared hurt or question you.
Brings you to his nest, a small cave with tight webs shielding the entrance. He teaches you how to slip through them, holds you close as he lifts you in his arms and makes passage inside. You're a very welcome addition to his home, his sanctuary.
Gifts you his venom regularly. Whether it's a kiss as his fangs slip past your soft lips and bleed venom down your throat, or a bite into the soft flesh of your neck that injects it directly into your veins. He builds up your resistance slowly so he may protect you from himself and anyone who tries to steal your life away.
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sunlighthroughthe-ashes · 7 months ago
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i just want to take a minute to appreciate how beautifully sketched out sunjae's character is: every line is drawn with so much love. so much gentleness.
we're used to seeing male k-drama leads that are aloof, tsundere-esque; cautious with their feelings; stereotypically "cool," model students — the list is endless. by contrast, (stunning good looks aside), sunjae is ordinary — he's a below-average student, he's a little petty, most definitely over-dramatic, impetuous; hot-headed: what sets him apart are his feelings for sol. what sets him apart is his limitless capacity for love — how he lets it swallow him whole without a word of complaint.
korean media is often concerned with outward veneer, a perfect "persona": sunjae comes like a breath of clean ocean air. he isn't afraid to be vulnerable; to open himself up to hurt — to remain kind, considerate, attentive; despite being slashed by the claws of an ambivalent fate.
his personality is crafted with so much tenderness: the rough-hewn magic of authenticity. he might be a little childish, but he's so beautifully human: so sincere in his love for sol. so unafraid of anything that may happen because of it.
to make love an act of liberation: rebellion and service all at once — this is what sunjae does. he makes love a living, breathing force — one that marvels at its own existence, just as you do.
nothing can compare to the liquid poetry of his eyes (byeon wooseok, the actor that you are!): capable of containing entire realms of emotion; within a single look.
it's so rare to witness a character fall in love and fall in love with them yourself as you watch it happening. to see them as an embodiment of all that is good in the world: softness, light, comfort.
this is who sunjae is for me: the purest hope.
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thegleamingmoon · 6 months ago
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Beloved.
Chapter 1 - Meeting you.
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🪷✨ ❛ In every world, my heart would bloom for you. In every moment, in every lifetime, amidst the stars and the endless ocean, in every heartbeat and whispered breeze, I would choose you always and forever. ❜ ✨🪷
*********
The golden rays of the early morning sun filtered through the intricate carvings of the Padmanabhaswamy Temple, casting a divine glow upon its magnificent structure. And there she was, draped in a simple yet elegant saree as she walked through the temple's corridors, her footsteps echoing softly against the ancient stone floors and like every other day, the air was fragrant with the scent of jasmine and sandalwood, as the devotees murmured their prayers, lost in their own worlds of devotion as the girl walked into the inner sanctum, where the majestic form of Lord Padmanabhan lay in eternal slumber.
"Dear lord, please look after the world like you always do. I pray for the good health of my family and dear ones. May you always be with them and keep them happy." This was what she usually prayed for. Nothing more, nothing less. But today was different, she had come here to seek solace in the divine presence of her beloved deity but she still felt restless for reasons unknown.
The strange sensation grew as she moved out from the sanctum to the temple premises, she felt as if someone was watching her. Turning around, her eyes met those of a man standing a few feet away. He was tall and handsome, with an aura of mystery surrounding him. His complexion, very much like the clouds filled with rain and eyes, deep and penetrating that seemed to hold the secrets of the universe.
"Namaskaram", he greeted her with a warm smile, his voice gentle and calming.
"Namaskaram," she replied, curiosity piqued by this stranger. "Are you new to the this place? I haven't seen you here before."
"Yes, I am new to this city." he said, his eyes twinkling with hidden knowledge. "I’m Aravind. May I know your name?"
"Bhadra. It's nice to meet you, sir", she replied and saw his smile grow wider, making his eyes twinkle with an emotion she couldn't comprehend.
"It's nice to meet you too, Bhadra. And we can drop the formalness." He said as she shyly giggled. It was sweet to hear her name in his beautiful voice. She thought, mentally facepalming to bring herself out of her mind. Something was really wrong with her today.
As they walked through the temple grounds, Bhadra found herself more intrigued, drawn into a conversation with Aravind. They talked about the temple, the city of Thiruvananthapuram, its history, and the legends that surrounded it. He spoke with a depth of understanding that left Bhadra in awe. Hours passed like minutes, and soon the sun began to set, casting an orange hue hue over the temple.
"What brings you here? And how do you know so much about this place?", Bhadra asked, unable to contain her curiosity.
Aravind smiled mysteriously. "Well, I have always been connected to this temple."
"Tell me about it." She looked deeper into his eyes, only to find a glimpse of her own secrets that were kept away from the world.
Bhadra lived a simple life, tending to the temple and helping those in need. She didn't remember a time when she was not insanely drawn to the deity. She had always looked up to the blue-hued god who slept on a thousand hooded serpent. She saw him in the vast sky, in her delusional thoughts, in the poetries she wrote, in the songs she sang and in almost everything she did.
She would dream of peacock feathers, moonlit nights and beautiful dense forests where gleamingly blurry visions of her beloved flute player would greet her with bliss and confusion. She would hold on to them to this day and maybe forever, without any expectations but just pure, boundless love that she had.
"Maybe those visions are trying to tell you something? You still get them don't you?"
That deep voice of Aravind broke her chain of thoughts as she looked up at him perplexed and maybe a little annoyed.
"Did you just read my mind?"
He just replied with a cheeky smile as he brought himself dangerously close to her, "Perhaps I just understand you better than anyone else, Bhadra. I have always done so." he gently whispered, only making her confusion grow.
"And I have always wanted to tell you that I love to hear you sing, even though you don't sing often. Your voice melts like honey into my ears. I can listen to it everyday." He looked into her eyes, his gaze intense and unwavering.
"How do you say that when you have never heard me sing? Who are you, Aravind?", she asked finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "You seem to know me in ways that no one else does."
He chuckled even as his eyes were moist, "Oh I have heard you countless times. You, my dearest, are much more than you think of yourself to be."
"What do you mean?"
"As much as I want to explain, I can't. He sighed wistfully. "It's sad, but I have to leave now. I will return soon, Bhadra. Until then, promise me you'll take care of yourself."
"Why?" She clearly didn't understand a thing. It didn't seem fair, or so she thought. This man had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, mysterious but familiar, only to say he’d disappear again, leaving her with countless questions. Yet, somehow, it all felt right. Despite not wanting him to leave, she could only hope that he would come back.
Adoring the curls that framed her soft features one last time, Aravind stepped back. "Until next time," he voiced, extending his hand. Bhadra grasped it firmly, losing herself in his eyes as she tearfully bid him goodbye.
"Moley," she heard her father's call and turned around. "I'm here, Appa," she yelled back, hearing his hasty steps as he reached her.
"I knew you'd be here," he said with a warm smile lighting up his kind eyes. "It will be dark soon. I want you to come home with me." He gently caressed her head, and she nodded in agreement.
"Are you okay, kanne? Were you talking to someone here?" He asked, concerned.
Bhadra turned to her side, only to find nobody there and smiled in despair and surprise. It all felt too real to be one of her delusions and too elusive to be reality. She wanted to tell her father about the mysterious person she met but she knew that it would be difficult for him or anyone to believe. So she chose to remain silent about everything that happened today.
"No, Appa. Let's go home" She replied as she followed her father on their way back home.
Today was different indeed.
**********
Moley/Kanne - a way to address a daughter or a little girl in Malayalam.
A/N - Wanted to write something like this for the longest time. This may have some cliche moments but this work by far, is the closest to my heart. And I may turn this into a series if y'all wish. So let's see. I hope you enjoy reading it <3
Tags- @krsnaradhika @houseofbreadpakoda @harinishivaa @achyutapriya @kaal-naagin @sambaridli @sambhavami @yehsahihai @ramayantika @khushireadsandrambles
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memoriesofthingspast · 1 month ago
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syneilesis · 1 year ago
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[fic] if only for a moment
if only for a moment
Love and Deepspace | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x Main-Character!Reader | T | 3.6k words | ao3 link (with correct formatting)
Rafayel waits. And waits. And waits.
A/N: Another LaD fic!! This time it's Rafayel. Several elements of this fic are inspired by and loosely based on his story anecdotes and bond story, plus that Deep Sea card line backdrop. So more spoilers in this one, I'm afraid. I think you need to be aware of them in order to follow the flow of the fic. But if not, here's what you need to know: basically Rafayel accepts a visiting professorship at the University of Linkon to reunite with the MC/you. And the prose poetry interspersed are loosely situated in the Deep Sea card lineup setting (you can search in YouTube for the scenes. This one is a brief glimpse of the scene). That princess/knight(??) dynamic is yum yum.
If possible, please read the version on AO3. I formatted the prose poems there as if they're really prose poetry, so I'd appreciate it if you check that out. (Though there isn't too much difference between the formatting here and there, I did make the effort of coding a little 🥺)
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy, and I am sO STOKED FOR THE OFFICIAL RELEASE. rip my wallet 💸😭
JUST LOOK AT THIS MAN AND BELIEVE
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There’s a type of berry in a distant land that produces a rare shade of ink that matches the color of your eyes. It takes a hundred of them to create the right hue and volume for the art that he wants to make. It comes to him in a dream: endless desert, then fireworks of verdant sparks that coalesce into stem, leaf, and, finally, fruit. Rafayel remembers that land, so much different from the iridescent blue of ocean underwater, and the acrid gold of the barren desert. His mouth filled with the succulent sweetness of the dream, the lingering sandpaper roughness of the berries on his fingers. He already knows the name of the artwork even before he’s begun—Waiting, Missing. The ache in his bones gaining form, an intangible thing taking flesh.
+
Under the ocean surface, time is muted, a deafening thickness that surrounds you with its ambiguity. On land, however, it is linear, and fast, and in a matter of blinks, Rafayel’s visiting professorship nearly wraps up.
He’s only glimpsed you once or twice. Thrice at most. The university is big, but not big enough to warrant a dearth of fateful encounters. The first time he saw you it was at a coffee shop: walking along with your friends outside, your voice mellifluous and festive wafting through the trellis of the café entrance. You were talking about him—well, about Lemuria to be specific, but these days any talk of Lemuria inevitably draws in his name.
He’s committed your schedule to memory, and yet it just seems impossible to capture a moment with you. Even just a brush of shoulders, or of sleeves—an asymptote of contact. Just navigating around your orbit, but never truly meeting.
What would it be like—finally talking to you? You in front of him, face to face? Rafayel imagines the ache of waiting fading into the background until it’s completely gone. He yearns for that feeling, the release of it. A conclusion—or maybe even a beginning.
+
i. take my hand, he told you under the glow of the lustrous moon, the only source of light that contoured the secretive valleys of his face. i want to show your highness something. there was a country, he said, beyond the undulating monochrome of the desert, blanketed by lush trees and shrubberies and flowers that buildings were made in betwixt and around them—a nation of trailing and winding architecture, a marriage of the natural and the manmade. you wanted to ask why he’d planned on taking you there, and the only answer you got was a curt turn of his head and the profile of a masked man layered by shadows and distance. it would have been nice, you thought, if the moon poured light upon his hooded gaze.
+
Eventually he begins to frequent the café. Twice a week at first—he doesn’t want to come off strong right away, of course—and then making his way up until he’s hanging out there more than his own studio. He schedules his visits around your classes, always during the ones when the probability of you dropping by the café is high and he can ‘coincidentally’ be around the same area. It’s gotten to a point that Thomas calls him out on it, and nags at him to focus more on his painting. The next exhibit is immediately after his visiting professorship after all.
“From where I’m standing,” Thomas says, “you’re not painting at all.”
Rafayel ignores him.
Five minutes later, he says, “Not painting is part of the painting process.”
Thomas rolls his eyes, but he leaves him to it.
At the café, Rafayel attracts curious looks. A few attempt to approach him, but he pretends not to see them. They linger around the periphery, like moths to flame.
And then something happens: the entrance door chimes, and you swan into the coffee shop, earphones and denim overall skirt, the kind of rosy-cheeked image Rafayel finds on teen magazines, wide-eyed and earnest. You fall in line and order when it’s your turn, and your eyes sweep across the packed café searching for a vacant seat until they finally land on him.
Rafayel’s heart stumbles.
Up close, the baby fat on your cheeks still gives you the appearance of being younger than you actually look. You turn a polite smile his way, and his heart stutters again—but this time it is taken as a warning.
“Hi,” you say, tentative. Any hint of recognition absent. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
+
ii. you're counting the steps of your inevitable parting. you're at the edge of the desert, far away from your home and its familiar scents, oriented towards a direction that promised a future sad memory, the gentle warmth of his hand, the downward denial of his gaze. this longing that grew out of your bones, aching during cold, aching during heat, aching when he looked at you with such tenderness he had to hide it through the sharp tug of your joined hands, the long strides that opened up a lonely distance. intimacy was dangerous, knowing was dangerous, the bowels of his heart like a solitary flower on a high peak. what would you do to such loneliness?
+
Memory isn't always an infallible thing. The human brain cannot hang on to every moment of your life, though Rafayel wishes it were so. But still—to think that you would forget him, and it hasn’t even been a century. You were like a phantom thief stealing his heart in the night—no recourse, no resolution.
To wait is to be in agony, the burn of yearning locked within the heart. Rafayel has been waiting for a long time, and the only memory scorched in his heart is fire, the blaze and its blinding, all-consuming want.
What would you do to such want?
+
You have a blurry childhood, Rafayel discovers. After the first Wanderer descended on Earth, the incident strummed your memories like a stringed instrument that tired of the same chord, over and over. It had bothered you at first—not being in control of your own memories—but eventually you had learned to live with it.
“Grandma and Caleb—my childhood friend—helped me through the process,” you tell him, stirring your iced mocha with its straw. “I owe them a lot.”
Eyes cast down, but still the melancholy shadows remain in your expression. Rafayel folds his arms on the table, and leans closer.
Around them only a few people occupy the coffee shop at this time. How fortunate for Rafayel to catch you during your break while every other student is trapped in class lectures.
“There’s no use in dwelling upon what's already happened. Even sharks have to give up when their prey escapes. When you remember, it will be all the more joyous, no?”
The smile you give him is crooked, disbelieving.
“If I remember.”
“You’ll remember.” Because there’s no other choice, for you and for him. Rafayel cannot bear being shelved in the history of your smile and happiness. Waiting can only be endurable if there’s an endpoint.
+
In his studio, Rafayel begins his next painting.
+
iii. the berries tasted sweet, with an edge of sourness that clung to the bottom of the tongue. it had the exact shade of your eyes, a detail that rafayel brought up the moment he plucked it from the shrub. raising it to align with your eyes, comparing them with his artist's meticulous gaze. maybe when this is all over, i'll go back here again to extract ink from these berries, and paint a portrait of your highness using these to color your eyes. he never showed you any of his paintings, merely mentioned them in passing, and you constructed a dream of him from the throwaway words that left his covered lips. i'm not used to sitting for so long, you reminded him, and he glanced at you, then at the berry between his fingers. my memory is enough, then handed you the fruit.
+
In the few weeks of meeting with you Rafayel forgets that his visiting professorship is ending soon and he has to give out his last lecture. Thomas had asked him what his topic would be. At that point Rafayel had no answer. But now he has.
“I’ve been hearing you talk about Lemuria every now and then with your friends.” He props his cheek on his hand, tilting his head slightly and giving you a charming smile. “Interested?”
You blink. “How did you know?”
“Oh, I’ve seen you a couple of times here, and I happened to hear your friends chat about my lecture. Your points were almost accurate, I’m in awe.”
“The visiting professor—that’s you?!”
Rafayel pauses, the slosh of his drink nearly spilling on his frozen hand.
“You didn’t know?”
Sheepish, you say, “Honestly, I didn’t make the connection. Is that why plenty of people have been glaring at me as of late?”
He releases a frustrated sigh, eyes rolling heavenward.
“In any case, my final lecture is on Friday next week. It’s titled “Memory and Meaning in Lemurian Art”. Why don’t you drop by and listen, and you can tell me what you think afterwards.”
You retrieve your bullet journal to check your schedule. It’s colorful, filled with stickers and doodles that Rafayel finds endearing. Then the excited moue on your face drops into a frown, and Rafayel can foresee the next words that will come out of your downturned lips.
“I’m sorry,” you say guiltily, “but I have a major test that day, and I need to get a high score in order to pass the course.”
Rafayel exhales, long and weary, but ultimately shrugs off the apology. “What a shame, but I forgive you. Just don’t fail your exam or else my magnanimity would be all for nothing.”
+
He calls Thomas that night.
“I’ll disappear for a while once the professorship is over.”
“Hey, wait, what do you me—”
“You’ll be happy to know that this is for my next painting.”
A beat. “Okay … but for how long?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?”
Then he hangs up.
+
He’s trying, he really does. The lecture ends to a resounding applause, and it’s mechanical how he answers the questions posed by the audience. But he’s trying, he’s trying. There’s no specter of you in the sea of faces in the auditorium. You’re at the other end of the university compound, sweating your way through your exam. He genuinely hopes you’d pass, for your sake.
Thomas had booked his flight to another country, where he’ll traverse to a land that he’d visited many times in his dreams and had woken up with a filmy, sweet-sour tang at the roof of his mouth. He’ll leave the morning after the closing dinner party the faculty has prepared for him. There isn’t time to pack much, and no time to tell you goodbye.
Rafayel guesses that it’s only fair: how would you feel waiting for him at that café, the chair across you empty, only the sunlight pooling from the window as your companion?
+
iv. parting, somebody once said, is such a sweet sorrow. much like those berries in that ever-green nation, a lingering sourness remained underneath, the sting of it reminding you every now and then. he was already mourned for even before he left. tell me what it's like—the ocean. he was elusive, untouchable in his grief. you'd heard through whispers, the story of his migration, the drowning before the drying, the unwanted journey. grief brought him to you and grief would steal him away from you, you knew, down to the cells of your body and the hopelessness in your blood. —and yet. and yet you wanted to have a taste of it, anyway.
+
The ever-green land is no longer green, or lush, or alive. Time corroded it into memory, sepia-faded, wizened. Past. The berries he’s searching for don’t grow here anymore. Everything here is empty, barren, helplessly so.
Rafayel hasn’t accounted for such development, but he should have known. Disappointment stings at his chest, and bitterly he turns away and stays at the next town over. At a family-run restaurant situated near the outskirts, he looks over the wide windows, across the highway road, beyond the jagged horizon. The painting won’t be finished, then. Another tragedy, pressed flat next to the forgetting, to the waiting, and his home.
The chef personally serves him his order and, after a shuffle of hesitation, brings up a question.
“Young man, you came from the direction of the old country, yeah?”
Rafayel meets his inquisitive gaze. “Yes, why?”
“It’s been a while since we had someone visiting that place. There’s nothing in there anymore, it’s been that way for years. Why did you go there?”
Rafayel is reluctant to say, but at the guileless set of the older man’s face, he concedes.
“I was looking for berries. The ones native there. They produce a shade that I need for my painting.”
At the mention of the fruit, the chef’s expression lights up. “Oh! I see, I see. You’re in luck, son. We grow them here at the farm. Plenty of those for everyone. How about I give you some? It’s rare meeting someone who still remembers the old country, it’s almost fate. How many did you say you need?”
Fate. Just like the time of your first meeting, as if the universe had gifted you to him. Just like the time of your parting, of your forgetting, of his waiting. Fate as a connection from you to him, red and burning brightly.
He doesn’t want to seem eager, but he knows he’s failed from the way the chef toothily grins at him.
“A hundred or so.”
The chef falters at that, jerking slightly back. But he accepts it with a nod, an avuncular smile making its way across his kind, powdery features.
“That sure is a huge number, but I think we can work something out.”
+
His painting takes a month to complete, inclusive of the time spent making the ink from the acquired berries. Sometimes, Thomas watches him paint, quiet in the background. His stays usually don’t last—a quick flash that Rafayel nearly misses, or deliberately ignores. But during the final stages of the painting process, Thomas hands him the exhibit details.
“I’m just thankful you’re on time for this one.” He sighs, relieved, then leaves.
Alone, Rafayel creates. Brushstroke after careful brushstroke, each varying by pressure and angle. He lets each layer of paint dry before moving onto the next. The berry ink—the color of your eyes—the solely different element of this painting. Center, central. The focal point. The beating heart. The years and years of waiting and longing. The form and the flesh. Alive.
This, too, is an endpoint.
+
v. can i see your face, just this once? your hands grazed his mask like a ghost wanting to touch. rafayel stayed still beneath your desirous fingers, observing, waiting, his own fingers twitching towards his dagger. even in the parting he could not let go of this distance. hopeless, hopeless. your highness would get nothing out of seeing my face. he's wrong, his eyes never left your face, and he's wrong. he didn't stop you from your grasping of his mask, and him—finally—bare and beautiful yet a little sad. you're wrong, you said, tracing his slightly parted lips with a trembling finger, you're wrong. it is everything to me.
+
The gallery is packed. No surprise there. It’s almost boring, in a way. Waiting, Missing hangs at the farthest hall in the floor, special and intimate as it should be. Thomas knows him well; otherwise, Rafayel would have whined at him to hell and back just so he could be granted this demand that is in reality a mandate.
He’s hiding from the throngs of journalists and art critics alike and sequesters himself in a corner that has a clear view of the painting. Loosening his collar and tie, Rafayel breathes and closes his eyes, leans tiredly against the wall. A few more minutes, and he’ll slink out of the building, reputation be damned.
He melts into the shadows whenever somebody passes by. He has neither time nor energy interacting with people today. Watching them through half-mast eyes, Rafayel stays in his secret place and studies with weightless detachment the people looking at the painting.
He’s made a bet with himself about the opinions of his followers and admirers. Who thinks what and why. It makes for great entertainment. The last time, a fresh-faced critic praised Rafayel’s technique as “innovative and a soul-rending reflection of the prodigy’s character.” He had laughed and laughed for hours until he couldn’t breathe any longer.
Another walks by, and before Rafayel retreats further into the corner, he glimpses a familiar gait and a familiar face.
His heartbeat races. He’s never told you that he’s holding an exhibit today. After the professorship Rafayel failed to maintain communication with you, convincing himself that it’s for the best that he protect you from afar that day onwards. It didn’t help that he had to leave as well. At the same time, you never made an effort of reaching out, and Rafayel thought that it was back to square one again, that waiting, that yearning.
But here you are right now, elegantly dressed, like someone gliding out of a dream. Rafayel swallows, his hands shake. You do not have someone else with you, and your eyes are brightly focused on Waiting, Missing, and for a fleeting moment your expression flickers into longing, strange and old and battered and sad, that it compels Rafayel to take a step forward—to you.
“Hey.”
The curious look vanishes; left no traces in your delighted face, as if it wasn’t there in the first place. “Rafayel!” you exclaim. “Long time no see! Congratulations on the exhibit; these are all beautiful.”
Outwardly he smirks, belying the torrential emotions he’s currently going through. He cants his head a little, works his charm on you. “Impressed? No need to hold back your compliments.”
Laughter, prismatic and crystalline. “Yes, yes. Especially this one—Waiting, Missing. What an interesting title. At the center, what paint did you use?”
Ah. Rafayel inhales before answering. “It’s actually ink. I had to make it from a hundred berries. It was a tedious process, but I wouldn’t use anything else. It has to be this, you see.”
“Whoa, no wonder you’d been radio silent all this time. You were creating this masterpiece.”
He hums, afraid that, if he speaks, he’d reveal too much.
“Well …” You throw a playful glance at him. “Shouldn’t we celebrate your success?”
His breath catches. “I—”
Before he manages to finish the sentence, a journalist calls out to him and that summons plenty more, swarming him with no chance of escape. It pushes you out of his peripheral vision, and Rafayel wants to shout your name, but you smile and gesture at him to entertain them first. You mouth, I’ll be back, and wander around other paintings some more.
When he finally succeeds in shaking the journalists off, he seeks you out and stumbles upon you near the exit, where there’s fewer people to pile on him.
“Excellent,” he says, sidling up beside you. You turn to him and smile, and there’s that lightning-flash of something again. For one unbelievably surreal instant, Rafayel thinks that despite your hazy memories, maybe you’d been waiting for him all this time, too.
And that thought emboldens him, moving closer and closer until your bodies almost touch. An asymptote of contact. But this time, he has mustered the courage to close that unbridgeable gap.
Rafayel offers you his hand. “Let’s get out of here?”
You stare at his hand then at his face, his eyes, and a meaningful moment stretches between you and him. But even before the idea of retracting enters his mind, you grab his hand joyfully, grinning ear to ear. His heart warms, full with everything.
You squeeze his hand, ready to go. “Lead the way, then!”
+
vi. a kiss is a greeting and a goodbye, and rafayel tasted of ferocious tides even if you'd seen them only in dreams. his eyes closed, as though savoring his last moments with you, guarded till the bitter end. would that i could ask you to stay—with me. but he shook his head—a final rejection. maybe in another life. there was nobody to watch you cry, in the after.
+
Rafayel is working on a new painting—a portrait this time. The model squirms on his couch, obvious about the discomfort of posing for too long. He huffs a laugh to himself, hidden by the canvas strategically placed between them.
“I heard that,” you grumble.
“Shush, you’re breaking my concentration.”
“If that already breaks your focus then I pity the rest of the art community.” A beat, then: “Is it done?”
“Patience, my dear muse. You need endure it a little more.”
“Hmph, fine. But after this you’re treating me to an all-you-can-eat buffet.”
“All right, all right.” He shakes his head, fond. “My muse, so demanding.”
Something sweet touches the edge of his tongue, succulent with a hint of tartness. Like longing. Except now, it’s layered with something new and exciting. Something like a new beginning.
In the far distance, the sea murmurs, lit fire by the setting sun.
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yuomizuu · 23 days ago
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⋆.˚ ᰔ . to be with you, is to sit in autumn sunlight !
[ kazuha. ] — just a couple of random hcs that suddenly came to me! it has truly been a hot minute since my last post but regardless, hope you enjoy the zuha brain rot folks ^3^
w.c: 945
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➴ kaedehara kazuha.
if there’s anything that kazuha enjoys doing—apart from writing poetry, resting upon a warm rock, or indulging himself in a bit of sake—it’s your presence.
whether it’s taking a leisure stroll through the streets of liyue together or simply listening you talk to your heart’s content, kazuha finds your company to be as pleasant as a gentle autumn breeze. when the alcor is buzzing with an endless revelry that continues on into the late hours of the night, kazuha will seek you out, quietly taking your hand and leading you elsewhere, away from the festivities to instead pursue a secret rendezvous of your own.
if he’s not particularly keen on leaving the ship, then he’ll steal a bottle of sake and two cups and instead bring you up to the ship’s nest, enjoying each other’s company as you both silently admire the rolling ocean waves across the horizon.
but it’s also important to remember that kazuha is someone who enjoys his own solitude from time to time as well. therefore, his most prominent forms of love languages would probably fall into words of affirmation. you recall the time beidou had referred to his manner of speaking as having flowers come out of his mouth instead of actual words and honestly, you would have to agree. countless times has this charming wanderer left you with nothing but a racing heart and a hue of rose tinted cheeks from just a few cherry-picked lines.
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
“the sunlight is bright, the leaves are vibrant and yet, your eyes, your smile… when you look at me in this moment, the brilliance of flowers and daylight seem dull, as if i’m staring into the heart of a blooming star.”
“… kazuha!? where did that come from all of sudden??”
“hmm… just thinking of some lines to use in my next poem dove.”
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
kazuha will seldom chose to call/refer to you by your actual given name, not because he finds it awkward, but he simply prefers to use his own terms of endearments with you. the most frequent of which being ‘my love’ and ‘dove,’ however don’t be surprised if he suddenly throws in a new one into the mix. the times in which your name is spoken by his lips are the quietude moments beneath the viel of stars at night in which he recites poems to you in your honor or softly proclaims vows of forever being yours.
each time the young ronin prepares to set off on another journey, ready to follow wherever the winds take him, he leaves a token of himself with you. this token can end up being a variety of things: an item he procured on his previous travels, a simple flower or leaf ( though to him, they are anything but simple ), or even the red tassel on him with the ornamental maple leaf where his vision is tied to. whatever it is you end up receiving, it serves as a reminder that even though he may travel great distances, he will always return to you.
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
“they do say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.. so you need not worry my love. a part of me will always be with you, but i can only be complete if i am by your side.”
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
as if the token itself weren’t enough, kazuha will undoubtedly continue to keep in touch with you via written letters. he does this special thing where depending on the nation he’s currently traveling in, he’ll pick a local plant speciality and seal it with wax to the envelope — a way of letting you know where he was in the world. sometimes he’ll simply muse to you about his travels, writing about all the wonderful sights he’s seen and is certain you would enjoy. on days when kazuha is missing you more so than usual, his letters will consist of haikus/poems centered around you or just going on a lover’s tangent about how much he adores you.
you also write to him, and of course, kazuha finds immense happiness each time he receives your letters. if he’s having a hard time falling asleep at night, he’ll read through your letters, hoping your words alone will manage to lull his restless mind to sleep ( and they do ). back home, he’ll fold them into origamis in order to preserve them and from that alone he’s able to recognize what letter of yours it was in and what you’d written in particular. ( beidou is constantly finding random origamis scattered around her ship sometimes www )
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
“hey [name], mind giving this to kazuha and reminding him not to misplace them around the ship unless he wants a drunken sailor stepping on them?”
· · ────── ꒰ঌ·♡·໒꒱ ────── · ·
when the time of your fateful reunion finally arrives, it feels akin to a homecoming for kazuha ( although he would argue that it is exactly that because well.. you are his home ). the moment he sets foot onto the familiar grounds of liyue, his eyes seek you out instantly, knowing that you would be waiting for him just like you always do. some days he’ll surprise you, silently walking up from behind and wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck and planting a series of kisses — ones that are so gentle and feather-like, it felts as though a butterfly had landed there. slowly, they’ll trail up until he reaches your ears where he whispers to you his greeting and how happy he is to see you.
you can most definitely expect to be showered in all his love and attention for the next few days so hopefully you won’t find yourself tiring of him too quickly :)
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hotheadedhero · 5 months ago
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Hi! I was wondering if I can request bayverse Donatello where he finally manages to have enough courage to ask out reader but because he took to long reader is already dating someone? I want the angstiest angst that you can make 😇 also can it be like a one shot?
AN: Oh, honey, you're singing my tune. Had to consult with my angstiest of demons for this one, so I hope it succeeds 😜 (Love your pfp btw <3)
Consequence of Dilatory Behaviour
Donatello x Reader
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Warnings: angst
If anyone were to ask Donatello why he loves you, he wouldn’t know how to answer. At least, his words wouldn’t do him justice. The answer he could try and provide wouldn’t come close to demonstrating those reasons. You just seem to radiate this celestial vibrancy everywhere you go, and his calculative mind sits on pause just long enough for him to bask in this full-body wonder that comes with your presence. Day in, day out, you’re an entity with his heart on hold. 
This is why he commits any energy he has spare to making you happy. He wants you to experience the same joy he gets when you do as little as enter a room. He almost makes it his mission to get a good laugh out of you and when he makes you laugh louder than anyone else, he gets this sense of accomplishment. Either he’s imagining it or you genuinely find him that funny. In hindsight, you do share a similar humour. You share a special bond altogether. It’s how and why you’ve always been regarded as a coordinated duo straight from the get-go. Wash and Zoe. Vision and Wanda. Mulder and Scully. Wall-E and Eve. Much like some of these couplets, he desires to move past friendship and onto something more. He only wishes he had the grit to speak on it.
Donnie can’t even blame the situation on being a thinker. Yes, that’s true but he’s still proven to be a man of action. He was the first of his brothers to dive out of that plane without a chute. He blindly tested mutagen on himself without thinking about its ramifications. There have been so many near-death experiences that he’s willfully jumped into and, yet, this is the one instance that he can’t. Any time he entertains the idea, a nameless force pulls him back into a chokehold.
He’s living up to the stereotype that turtles are slow-moving. Slow and steady wins the race? Seems not. It’s hardly a race because he hasn’t even started running yet. This is a solo song he’s been singing to himself for the last year, which sounds unpleasant - hence why he never attempts to put it into words - but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’ve given him so much without realising it: the gut of a lion, the tranquillity of ocean shores, the ease of being someone he can be around without any worries.
To put it simply, you’re poetry in motion. He’s always been a fan of literature but poetry has become a lot more appealing since you’ve been around. He still can’t quite explain why it is as magnificent as it is, why it feels like there’s something hidden deep beneath it that he hasn’t yet discovered. There are just so many beautiful intricacies to these words and how they paint pictures that illustrate the writer’s feelings. He spends some of his nights trying to put his own verses together, taking this inspiration and running with it in his mind, such as how you’re the comfort of dusk adorning the captivating light of a sunrise. Perhaps it’s best to leave it to the professionals.
One famous poet in particular has caught his attention the most. When he thinks of you, he thinks of a quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson, ‘If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever’. He can’t manifest this into reality and prove it, however, which is why he chose to make a flower out of spare metals. A garden can’t continue for eternity but a flower made out of unperishable materials can at least live close to such; something to personify his endless love for you.
An argument might be made that he’s obsessed and maybe he is. Or, less obsessed and more so enchanted to the point of devotion. Maybe he’s a hopeless romantic at heart. Although, he’s beginning to think it isn’t hopeless after all. As of late, your hand lingers on his arm just a moment longer than it normally would. You laugh with a more elongated chime. When you make eye contact, there’s this lazed glassiness that makes him warm all over.
You seem to be a lot merrier. Donatello has always revered you as a bright spirit but you’re extraordinarily more animated than usual. Whatever it is that has you so additionally elated recently, he’s become gluttonous for it. It feels selfish to be indirectly reaping the benefits of your happiness but he finds himself unable to help it, nor can he stop it. You always enrapture him with everything you do and this brilliant ray of sunshine you emit has him drawn in like a moth to a flame. His rose-tinted glasses have him convinced that it has something to do with him, so naturally he has to fly closer.
That’s right. After months of pining, he’s finally going to shoot his shot. First, he wants to add some final touches to the flower he’s made. It isn’t all that big - probably as tall as the width of his hand. All he’s had at his disposal is whatever he found lying around the sewer, so he’s put the effort into making it look as pretty as possible. Contrary to belief and despite his anatomy, he’s actually incredibly delicate with his touch. He has to be with the kind of work he does. The last little details are proudly set and, like clockwork, you come bounding into the lair and head straight for him. He’s quick to hide it in his pocket before you have a chance to see.
And as you stand opposite one another, you both blurt out, “I’ve got something to tell you,” in unison, Donnie somberly, you energetically.
The two of you laugh at each other and call a jinx before laughing again. Your elasticated smile makes the turtle’s face hurt with one of his own. What could possibly have you so fidgety with positive hysteria? He supposes he’s bubbling with a frenzy himself but he’s intrigued to find out why you’ve come storming into the lair.
“You go first,” he offers.
“Okay, okay, so I didn’t want to say anything just in case it didn’t work out but I’ve been seeing someone,” you ramble ecstatically. You only stop for a dramatic pause, to catch your breath, before excitedly proclaiming, “And now we’re dating!”
Seeing someone. Dating. The words make it to Donatello’s ears but the reality is that he’s now drifting. White noise blares so loudly that everything starts ringing. He can hear every breath that passes through his lungs, every beat of his hurting heart as it plummets to his stomach. His eyes shift out of focus and even you in all your magnificence disappear for the first time since he’s known you.
To be dilatory is to be slow to act. So absorbed in his procrastination, he failed to see this creeping possibility until it unveiled itself to him at the last second - the second he finally gained the courage to speak out. In this same second, he realises the source of your upscaled mood. Of course. That makes so much sense. More sense than him believing it had anything to do with him.
“No need to be so shocked,” he hears your voice again, followed by a laugh. “I’m not that undatable.”
“No, no! It’s not- no, just-” There might as well be an earthquake with how much his lips are trembling. He tries to catch himself before he falls, before you can catch onto the source of his stuttered mumbling. Donnie sucks in a breath along with a laugh in a futile attempt to lighten up. “I’m just surprised you kept it a secret this whole time.”
Your eyes shine up at him with your smile, so brightly that it stings his vision rather than enlightening him as it usually would. “I wasn’t going to take that chance and jinx it.”
“Congrats," he manages to breathe out. "I really am happy for you."
“That means a lot to me, D. Thank you.” Your fingers land on his forearm and he tries to keep it from shaking. Luckily, you pull away before his muscles convulse and wave your hands up. “But that’s enough about me. What was it you wanted to say?”
His hand clenches in his pocket and he can feel the flower’s metal creaking against his tendons. It wouldn’t be fair to say anything now. He could live with risking rejection because you could still be friends. He would have spoken his peace and things would resume as normal. Now? It only stands the chance of making things awkward. There’s no point in trying to dismiss your question either. He’ll only make himself seem suspicious and you’ll badger him for information. You have your ways and, unfortunately, he has a hard time keeping things from you when you get investigative.
Donatello pushes the middle of his glasses closer to his face and discourages your curiosity with a warm, trusty smile. “It’s not nearly as exciting as your news but I found a website for that movie you wanted to watch.”
“That’s great!” It seems you’ve taken the bait. “We can watch it tomorrow?” Your hands clasp together and you blink up at him sweetly. “I just wanted to give the news quickly before my next date tonight.”
“Sure. Have fun, okay?”
You nod intermittently and give him a quick peck on the cheek before darting off. As you take your leave, every step feels like a manifestation of you getting further away from him. It isn't as though you're disappearing from his life but you might as well be. He just can’t seem to get a hold of himself. How did the last couple minutes of conversation beat him down so much? How could he have been so foolish to let you slip through his fingers like this? If he were more straightforward, brazen, or charismatic as his brothers, he wouldn’t have dawdled on the idea. He would have just gone for it. He would have taken action. This could have been different. You could have been his. Or, at least, he could have let his mind be rid of these thoughts.
He takes the small flower out of its hiding place, now misshapen from being cramped up in his pocket and his deathly clutch. It still holds its meaning. His love for you shall remain eternal. The only difference now is that this undying love comes from a broken heart, missing pieces and bent out of place just like the little flower. The idea of throwing it away is marginally tempting but he’d feel too guilty, as if he was trying to throw you away. He couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. Even if would guarantee easing his heavy chest, he still couldn’t do it. You mean too much to him. You always will.
Instead, he gently places it on his desk where it will forever remain to collect dust.  Tennyson comes to mind once again with his arguably most famous quote of all, ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ He would like to take consolation in these words but it isn’t as though he had the proper chance to love you or show such. The rug was swept away from him before he even set foot. 
Donatello slowly descends onto his chair, staring at the flower, and in this moment, he thinks he understands the dark underlays in all of those poems he’s read. He reckons that the layer of mystery he was so fascinated by has finally revealed itself to him. His eyes fall shut and his head rests back, and he allows the silence to swallow him whole as he solely expresses to himself and only himself as he has always done this whole time.
Love breaches the stronghold of man’s chest, but melancholy is the derisive sensation of emptiness that comes with knowing this love has nowhere to go.
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euesworld · 2 years ago
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"You couldn't be more beautiful if you tried, even if you had a thousand skies in your eyes.. which you do, much more than that I think. Each with their own sun and moon, or moons.. sunrises, sunsets, in the hues of you."
Her Majesty sadly ravishes me lavishly and she's a bad bitch you see, there are worlds in this girl as she sails my soul like an endless sea unfurled - eUë
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