#emotions make the best pieces

[bedlightwriting]

I didn’t know

When does it end, when does the hurt stop, when am I finally free? I see a piece of you in everything, in a movie we watched or a place we kissed, in someone who dresses like you. I didn’t know that it would end this way.

I need you like I need sleep: against my fucking will, I hate you but I want you more than I’ve ever wanted. I see you in every set of blue eyes and the way you looked breathless every time I close mine. This isn’t right, it never has been but having you wasn’t either, and I didn’t know. I don’t know if you took so much of my innocence that I can’t tell what’s right or wrong or if I’m just still not over you.

But I am, I know me and I don’t cry when I look at a sunset anymore. I’m happy again, but I can’t listen to that playlist or read that diary I started when we did. Every time I close my eyes, wishing for sleep I see a movie composed entirely of you, your eyes, your lips, you teeth and your tongue, the way your body rolled and that delicious look on your face that I wish I didn’t know. How am I to live without knowing what you taste like? How would I if I did? I don’t know what will happen, or even what I want to happen, but I crave you, I burn for you, you are missing from me and it all feels so wrong. I swore I’d never give you, or anyone, the power to make me feel like that but hypocrisy finds us all in weakness.

I remember the ache, the pain, the hurt, the countless nights I cried alone in my room, the fights, that text you sent me that broke me like glass. And most of all, I remember the walk to your car, I didn’t know, the sun was shining and my skin was cold, I still loved you and that’s all I cared about. We got in, and I didn’t know. you started, you asked me to promise I wouldn’t be mad at you, and didn’t continue until I did. I had a feeling, but I didn’t know, the air didn’t come as easy and my heart seemed to slow, my face burned with fear when you started talking, and when I asked what it meant and you said we should break up it was like a pebble lodged in the hole of a great dam. I knew the crash would come but I didn’t care because you were shaking, you were frail and your voice broke, I had never seen someone so ruthlessly strong look so small and broken. I enveloped your hands in mine as you spoke and the funny thing is that I think that gave you the strength to finish. I knew the way your voice grew in strength when I reached out. In that moment my cold hands didn’t matter, and the only thing I knew was kindness, I just wanted you to feel better. But I hated you for giving us so little time to talk, giving an empty promise that we never fulfilled to continue it later when I asked. When I caught your eyes I didn’t miss the view of a boy scared out of his fucking mind who had no idea what he was doing: I hadn’t seen him in a very long time.

An hour later I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t breathe, I thought, or rather hope, that I was going to choke on my own sorrow and not have to live another day without you. But it’s not like you were even there before, so it didn’t matter, did it? I finally had freedom to let go, though. Every day since, the lights brighter; the colors prettier; the sunsets more mesmerizing than ever; the food more flavorful; the pain a little smaller, i didn’t know I could feel like this.

It’s been months, and I’m happy, I don’t need you and I refuse to ever need you again, but I crave your touch like a drug. I close my eyes and I see all the things we never got to do, your hands on my body, tongue in my mouth, the way your lips part, the muscles of your arms working, the way your face might screw up, it’s all I see. It haunts me at night, I want nothing else from you, but if I could have one last moment of us together I would take it, regardless of consequences. Other people have grabbed my interest, but none of them compare to the way I want you. And I hate you for it; you’re a stranger now. And God, some times I can’t tell if I’m glad or if I wish I didn’t fucking know.

[badninken]

🧡🤍 BEPO 🤍🧡

[newttxt]

i was talking extensively with a friend about reiju’s delicate balance of caring/emotionless and her relationship with sanji

[szfiction]

This parallel makes me insane actually (and there is something incredibly Lawlu about it to me)

[corrodedparadox]

Started looking at a few of ur artworks and Im absolutely blown away with how unique it looks!

Starting as a beginner artist, was it hard to find ur niche and audience? Or was this something u never really thought about/ realised?

Funnily enough I had the opposite in terms of trying to find an audience when starting out. A lot of my earlier art was just a bunch of random furry ocs/nonsensical doodles/etc just trying to hop on whatever art bandwagon was going on to try and fit in and prove myself as an artist. It was only when I realized I wanted to create impactful art for myself, along with wanting my art to be something that can stand alone and not have to be influenced by context for the viewer to connect with it, that really let me start creating the work I make now. After shifting to more personal work I found people were a lot more receptive to my work, and I just managed to build my little niche over time. Peoples reactions to my current art definitely influences what I make now, but even then I always just created works for myself, and I’m very grateful people like it :)

I do consider the work below as one of my “cornerstone” drawings in terms of my development as an artist, it was my first work were I actually tried working a full scene, along with using it as a vent piece. Really set the tone and standard for all my other works

[lapiecelazuli]

"When Waka dreams of Shion, Waka dreams of her dancing in a field of sunflowers, along the beach, [...] in places free and unconstrained."

I got inspired by @17979 's After God fic to paint this :D Go read After God and the fic they're both so good!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49929859

[fujii-draws]

Thinking more about how Dusknoir uses his words to hurt Ribbons vs using physical brute strength on Aimilios.

It doesn’t matter how much of an act he put on infront of the Riolu. How he didn’t care, or how it was all according to ‘plan.’ Aimilios easily spots those lies out— giving the ghost-type a look of ‘We both know you’re lying.’ So, the cloaked Gripper has to settle on another method. Reaching, grabbing, maiming Aimilios as much as possible to make him scared. Strike fear into him. Something the aura pup isn’t used to because he was basically a sheltered dog before he joined the guild, and learned how to fight. And seeing how certain Pokémon and outlaws fought and went for the killing blow terrified him. So you can only imagine how petrified he was during physical confrontations with a 7ft ghost-type. Gripping the life out of him.

And with Ribbons, she’s used to fighting like her life depends on it. Amnesia or not, that part of her never went away. It’s why she’s able to dodge and fight skillfully despite being dubbed as a small, tiny runt of an eevee. And why she’s the one screeching and biting Dusknoir like no tomorrow when he grabs her partner again during the Stoneship fight without hesitation. Physical strength doesn’t scare her. It means nothing after living in such a harsh future.

That being said, the point where Dusknoir realizes this— him beginning to rip into her during their first confrontation near the portal with Primal Dialga, a few feet away, is what shatters her. Being regarded as one of the most easily manipulated Pokémon Dusknoir had the honor of dealing with, and how easy it was to get her to turn on her grass-type brother. And such a delightful show it was to behold. It was laughable how even her own partner was somewhat onto the ghost-type. But her? He practically had the Eevee wrapped around his finger. And it’s the first time Aimilios witnesses her terrified. Scared. And why he gets in-front of Ribbons and yells at Dusknoir with an aura strong enough to shut him the hell up. Fists clenched as he shielded his partner from the wraith’s words.

[ms-all-sunday]

okay preemptive media anaylsis of the robin goodbye scene. (paused just as it started)

this scene had to be sanji because of the skypeia flower action, because this arc is about mentally ill people and those that love them and sanji truly does fucking love robin. the reason it hits with sanji specifically is he occupies a level of "not manly" due to his relationships with women and wearing his own heart on his sleeve that he can be nothing but genuine, and there's an assumed naivety to that, (to some degree there is) but robin herself believes him (unlike nami) that isn't the problem here.

robin must face sanji (someone who does not hide his emotions when it comes to her) to face what she's going to do. much like the usopp "i should leave the crew" moment, it's the point of no return coming from a want to punish herself. one of my favourite things about sanji as a character, is his ability to show love in ways that are completely nontraditional for men, and he screams after her. it had to be him because he is emotionally intelligent enough to identify that loss and hurt in ways that any other character (besides nami) wouldn't be able to express in the same way. she must face unconditional love and reject it based on her own belief that she is unlovable.

theres the water river flowing between them and as sanji crosses it its too late

[3rd-breakfast]

I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand [no children // the mountain goats]

I commissioned the amazing @rennybu to draw an inverted version of this amazing piece, this time of my dnd character Iamek Molenda in his younger years and his now ex boyfriend Gelen Charev. These two went through a lot together and it took Iamek some time to realise that they weren't good for each other at all before he managed to leave - Gelen never forgave him for that

[tetzoro]

the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.

[stealingyourspins]

(Click for better quality)

Ninjago Mermaid AU- Zane.

Species: Narwhal. Chosen because of their ability to withstand cold temperatures plus their color pallet.

Zane is a Marine “spy” Robot used by researchers to record and collect data of Merfolk in their natural environment. Made in a partnership with Borg Industries and Julien Laboratories, he is a revolutionary advancement in the robotics field, going past a simple language learning model level to becoming a true AI in the 25 years of development. Zane’s expedition is simple: to help marine biologists to study Merfolk and blend in the best he can.

(Alt version with no spots under the cut and non transparent versions)

[crescentfool]

🍊🫐 throughout time!

[badolmen]

On the topic of ‘bad mascot horror video games for kids’ the exception to the rule (or rather, something that understood the assignment) would be My Friendly Neighborhood.

I don’t want to spoil anything if you haven’t booted up the game before, but just…don’t be fooled by jumpscare compilations or the character design. From the opening cutscene this game grabs you by the fucking throat. The mechanics have thought put into them, the voice acting is top notch, and christ the fucking story - a complete story, one that has an end that isn’t promised in future ‘chapters’ or left ambiguous.

Yes, it has jumpscares from goofy muppet monsters, but they’re not cheap tricks. Once you learn how the game works they’re easy to avoid or at the very least anticipate - not to mention they’re survivable with the healing mechanic. And just when you think the scares are done, when you’re well into the game and have all the tools you need to navigate around potential jumpscares, the final act dunks you into the deep-end with the actual horror and nightmare fuel puppets.

I’m not sure how much the game as a whole qualifies as ‘horror,’ but it’s certainly being lumped in with the Whatever-Mascot Horror Game of the Week genre. Which is a shame because My Friendly Neighborhood is leagues ahead of those other games. It has more in common with survival horror than it does with mascot horror in terms of gameplay and tropes. It’s literally just the ‘monster’ designs leading people to assume its another Poppy Playtime clone complete with half baked story and repetitive, unimaginative gameplay loops. And that’s so far from the truth -

My Friendly Neighborhood is like if Sesame Street and Resident Evil had a beautiful muppet baby that opened its eyes to have an existential crisis when confronted with the horrors and apathy of modern capitalism.

[buttercupshands]

My emotionally immature ass still doesn't understand a thing of how people can pity characters

Not like I don't try to understand it! I just... Can't? Understand that??? At all???

Like why would you pity a character for their sad backstory or whatever, and poof suddenly a character is pitiful as hell, and suddenly they're understandable because a person can call them a wet kitten under their care

And that's something I can't do for some reason

And again, not like I didn't *try*, it's just a thing I can't understand at any capacity other than 'some people do that to show their affection of that character, that's their way of caring

Granted talking to more people makes you understand them better! Doesn't help much! But it's something!!

[sea-buns]

Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?

You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.

You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.

You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—

you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."

Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.

[storiesoflilies]

i just read “the vegetarian” by han kang last night and i have so many thoughts and feelings about it, but i just don’t have the literary analysis brain to properly put it all together in a coherent way.