#emotionally distant

[angel-on-the-cutting-room-floor]

[otakubimbo]

Hey! Can I request for an angst romance with the very first sentence prompt with Satoru? They break up but Satoru refuses to believe that it actually happened and that it was only a joke. Like, he is in denial about it.

Hi anon! You're my first official request so thank you! I hope I did this prompt justice for you. My heart hurts.

angsty romance prompt. "tell me it was a lie, tell me you're playing with me right now "

Warnings: None really, just angst and no happy ending, which yes is so unlike me but we ball! I didn't proof read cause it made me sad writing it.

“Tell me it was a lie. Tell me you’re playing with me right now!” Satoru’s voice was at a higher level than it should being at this café. The people around pretending not to be easy dropping on the conversation that you and the man across form you were having.

“Lower your voice, people are staring.” The hushed tone of your voice, attempting to not betray the facade you were putting on.  This wasn’t easy for you, breaking up with Satoru Gojo, if anything you were breaking your own heart.

“How do you expect me to react when my girlfriend brought me out to lunch to break up with me?!” His tone is harsh, in a way you have never heard before. You flinch at his abrasiveness, making him shrink back into his chair.

Satoru’s anger and disbelief confuse you. It was as if everyone saw the signs of this impending breakup but him. The relationship had been going downhill for some time now, how could he not see that? How could he not see what he was doing? How couldn’t he see what it was doing to you?

After a year and a half of dating, you told him, you told him you loved him and you meant it with every fiber of your soul. It had been six more months since then and he never said it back. You were understanding at first when he didn’t say it back, albeit hurt a little but you knew at least a little of his past and what he has gone through. You could understand that it may be hard for him to tell you he loved you, you knew he loved you because of the way he cared for you and that was enough.

Well, you thought it was enough. After your confession, Satoru didn’t immediately become distant, but it started with small things. He stopped texting you good morning and would only say good night. The small touches, the holding hands, and the comforting hugs became few and far between. Any time you brought it up, he would play it off like nothing was wrong, everything was fine. Then it became as if the two of you were barely even friends, it seemed he was always busy as if he never had time for you anymore. And it hurt, it hurt like hell and even then you kept pushing it off just hoping he would tell you what was going on behind those piercing blue eyes of his but he never did.

That’s what lead to today, the day of your 2 year anniversary. Truthfully, you hadn’t even planned on breaking up with him today but when you sat across from him in the same café that you had your first date at, his eyes never met yours. He didn’t hold your hand across the table, he didn’t kiss your forehead on his arrival, he wasn’t your Satoru.

You could feel the tears threatening to spill as you looked up at him, “Do you know what today is? Or why I asked you here”

His jaw tightened, “It’s Tuesday and I don’t know maybe because I’m your boyfriend and we go to this café a lot.”

Is this all a joke to you? Was he just a joke to you? He knows he hasn’t been the best boyfriend lately and that he’s been a bit distant but that wouldn’t make you break up with him. Would it? You were too kind, too patient, too pure for that, right?

“This is the café that we went to on our first date, two years ago.” You aren’t even facing him anymore when you say that, just reminiscing on a time when it felt as if you were just two kids in love. Satoru froze, not even realizing that he had forgotten. He had been trying so hard to keep you at an arm’s length after your confession that he had seemed to just push you away.  He didn’t even say anything as you turned to him, tears threatening to spill down your beautiful face at any single moment. What had he done?

“Do you even love me, Satoru?”

The question hung in the air, making his mouth go dry. He did, he loved you more than he should and that was the problem. His love for you scared him, you scared him. You didn’t know the power that you held over him; you made him weak. You were his weakness. But he was the strongest, he couldn’t afford a weakness, but he wasn’t strong enough to let you go either. Now here he was, unable to speak the words that have been written into his heart from the moment he saw you.

With a sad smile, you take his silence as your answer gathering your things and leaving you there. His heart shattered as he watched you leave out of the door, fading from his vision. Satoru’s worst fear came true, the strongest was defeated, the strongest was broken by you and it was all his own fault.

[misscaiacreates]

Avoidantly Attached: The Silent Struggle

I love you. I do. I'm just scared.

My eyes say "stay," but my heart's ensnared.

By shadows of a past that still whisper, "flee."

Your touch is a warmth I can't let be.

You call me your soulmate, but I can't take that now,

I need to heal, to cleanse, to figure out how.

To be the person you deserve, strong and whole,

Before we can truly join soul to soul.

Babe, I crave you, believe me, it's true,

But trauma's a wall that I've got to break through.

Flight mode's my default, my safety, my shield,

But for you, babe, I'm striving to heal.

Patience, my love, for the time that I need,

To untangle the chains of past sorrow and greed.

I'll run from our closeness, it's sad but it's true,

Yet know, in my heart, I'm running to you.

[senandikadini]

They are the same person in my book

[jack-of-arts-x]

Glass children build houses without windows

[smak-annihilation]

me to myself today during psychology class:

*they show us two near identical photos with a slight difference

ok so I have to choose between these two pictures and pick which I find more attractive, they are very similar but there is just something off about the one on the right, the left one is kinda hot so left

teacher: ok so I see most people chose right and there is aa reason for that. If you look closely you can see that the pupils of the one on the right are dialeted which is how people tend to look when they are with someone they love. The one on the left has a more distant, colder gaze so almost none of you picked it.

oh god is there something wrong with me? i was legit repulsed by the one that showed love. The detached one attracted me. OH GOD do i have a thing for people who don't like me??

*15 minutes later

ha! those lines look like loss comic lmao

[everythingimnot]

if I don't get more attention I'm gonna have to make a clown out of myself again and that never works out in my favor

[xtrablak674]

The Breakthrough

[Originally posted on my Blogspot on Wednesday, December 17th at 10:35am, posted without any edits.]

After a long phone call with my Aunt Mary and confirmation with Paul, I have come to a breakthrough about my relationship with my grandmother. I just begin to understand that my grandmother superficially did all the right things as a parental figure, but was severely lacking in intimacy. So lacking that during the seven years I lived with her after my mother died I never felt like her home was my home, but that I was a guest in her house. I don't mean this in a nasty or negative way, this was/is how I truly felt. I never truly felt welcomed there.

So it makes so much sense that even though I know the tasks of being a dutiful grandson, I never felt the inclination toward those duties due to my feeling uncomfortable at my grandparents house. This dynamic primarily centered around my grandmother who dominated the relationship between my grandparents. My grandfather always receding to the background, I have never truly got to know the man.

My Aunt Mary had called to report on my grandfather's health issues and to inquire about the last time I had called my grandparents. I was very candid with her that with my grandmother's past behavior that had really debilitated an already tentative relationship, I didn't feel the need to interact with her other in the most passing polite fashion. I was also clear with my Aunt Mary that calling their house was in essence calling "her" house because if "she" was home even if my grandfather answered the phone he would subsequently hand the phone to her. Something that for years irked me especially if we were in mid-conversation, but I realize that he just defers to her. Which does nothing but keep the distance between me and him, and puts the focus on my interaction with her, which especially after the incident is stilted, tense and uncomfortable.

I let my Aunt Mary know that after I left her house at 17/18 I never looked back, never asked her for any kind of financial support of any sort. I did request the bonds my mother had left me, but that was money from my mother, not her. I explained to my Aunt Mary how deeply hurt I was by her statement around the selling of the land issues when she threatened to "write me out of her will". I was insulted by the gesture, because I have never asked for a dime. I didn't even request to go live with her, that was my mother's wishes. And as soon as I made my own money I never looked back.

I concurred with my Aunt that they are not getting any younger, and I was very disappointed that my grandmother chose the route of rudeness, nastiness and disrespect as opposed to respecting the sacristy of our hard worked on relationship. But she made a choice and I know she is not at the age where she is changing and my Aunt agrees she will never admit to any wrong. I am not a child living in her house. I am an adult and I choose the relationships I will have. If the relationship is not one that is mutually beneficially, I frankly can do with out.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[tismeandmylife]

why are fathers so awful??

[grungasgirlexistence]

I don’t feel happy but I don’t feel sad. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Am i supposed to feel like I’m on the verge of any emotion but not quite there? I guess I have to take them so I don’t really have a choice how it feels.

[faiell]

waiting for the dream to end

[hinamie]

all i have left

[amilynh]

This is exactly my read on this as well. She didn't say she never wanted or hadn't wanted kids: she DODGED the rest of the question. What she said was entirely true about how she **got Noah**, and it left out all the previous thoughts about, attempts at adopting, becoming a foster parent...she left all that out.

As she does about personal and emotional stuff that feels vulnerable to her.

I don't think Liv saying she wasn't always sure she wanted kids is at odds with what we know about her. It wasn't her saying she never wanted kids, and it meshes with what we do know - that she wanted a family but was afraid of her genetics, afraid she wasn't good enough, that she didn't get serious about having a child until s9 (when she's what like 40? Almost?) and was immediately shut down and by the time Noah turns up she's pretty much entirely given up on that dream and let it go. She's not gonna say all that to these two women she's still just getting to know and who technically work for her; saying she wasn't always sure is a gentle way to express a lifetime of struggle and disappointment and loneliness without making herself too vulnerable. And what does Olivia hate the most? Being vulnerable thank you for coming to my TED talk

[myownprivate]

Gai Barone - An Emotionally Distant Guy (Zerothree Exclusive)

[specshroom]

I want to smother him.

I want to be clingy and overbearing with him but only in private, like the personal solitude of his room.

I want to cling to him as he lays in bed, trying to do something else like read or play a game.

I want to mold myself into his side, kissing his neck, stroking his chest, rubbing my legs against his.

I want to distract him with my affection. I want him to become flustered at the stark contrast between public and private affection and how he's the only one who knows there is a difference in the first place.

When I tease him about being flustered and he tries to push me away with his hand out of embarrassment, I want to grab it and kiss his fingers all the way down his arm.

I want him to give in despite being embarrassed. I want to kiss all over his face as he huffs in defeat after the rather pathetic attempt at a struggle.

I want to mumble a little "I love you s'much" into his warm cheek as the skin heats up even more at the confession and my lips on his skin.

I want him to have an internal struggle, trying to man up and say it back. Only to weakly mumble out, "Whatever." as he places his hand over his bright red face.

[almondpiglet]

detach deflect distract dependent