#emotional rant in the tags

[334iwatchshit]

please remember that luke skywalker adopted rey and fin a few years after marrying din djarin and and opening his jedi school on mandalor with their green rat son.

[hyperrealisticblood]

random thing i noticed while going through the character bios again: wally's bio now gives information about how his puppet was handled

there isn't any kind of sneaky wording here that would imply he was operated different from the others either, as frank is described the exact same way in his bio.

if it's true that wally WAS in fact puppeteered by someone and wasn't running around the studio by himself like some horrible gay homunculus, he was most likely puppeteered by ronald dorlaine, the creator of welcome home. wally is kind of the "kermit" of welcome home, and kermit was puppeteered by jim henson until his death in 1990. kermit was also referred to as henson's "alter ego" at times, his co-stars saying that it became hard to tell where kermit ended and henson started at times.

i think clown's mentioned the relationship between a puppet and their puppeteers being a topic explored in welcome home at some point (one of these mentions was pre-overhaul, so i'm not sure if it's still true), and has stated that there are going to be more human characters introduced. and since welcome home takes a lot of inspiration from the history of the muppets (and is why we need more horror media written by people really autistic about the topic covered), and "dorlaine" sounds so similar to "darling", it's possible wally may have been ronald dorlaine's "alter ego" in the same way that kermit was for jim henson.

i don't what what any of this implies or if any of this makes sense. i went on this whole rant because of one line of text. is anyone reading this. did anyone see that gnome run by. its so dark in here

[otlwoozi]

MAMA 2024 ALBUM DAESANG - FML

[royalarchivist]

Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?

Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.

Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?

Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.

Cucurucho: Ha ha ha

Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]

Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.

Cucurucho: Maybe.

Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!

Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]

Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!

[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]

[cacaocheri]

this was supposed to be one drawing!! ONE DRAWING!!!!!!!!! but every time i draw them i can't stop i need to keep going

[al-luviec]

zane + nya parallels

[haunted-xander]

tbh one of, if not my absolute favorite part about ffxiv, is the small little moments/sections where nothing super big or like. Plot Important happens, but that give both the characters and us, the players, some much appreciated down-time to just. Feel things. And to process what's happened and what's going on or to just. Let us exist, in the moment. In a much more grounded and human way than when there's Big And Important Things happening.

The biggest(imo) and earliest example of this is right after the Waking Sands get raided in ARR, and WoL turns to the church for guidance. The entire section of us helping them gather and bury our fallen comrades, and especially bringing Noraxia home to Little Solace so she can be laid to rest in her homeland, by her own people and in their own cultural ways, was so so important to me.

Because it wasn't just replacable allies cast aside for shock value anymore, it was real. These deaths were real and meant something. I got to actually process what just happened, and I got to watch Banana go through it right with me. And not only did it make it feel real, it also gave me a sense of closure. These people, these friends, are dead, but they also got to be treated with the respect they deserve and laid to rest properly.

And that, more than anything else, made me want to save the world. It's grounded and grounding. This world, and these people, meant something to me, the player.

And there's tons of stuff like that throughout the game, especially in shadowbringers and endwalker.

In shb we have, for example, Lyna venting her anger and frustration after the sin eater attack in Lakeland. She's on her knees yelling on the verge of tears while punching the ground, so furious at her helplessness and powerlessness, at everyone having come so far yet set back because some megalomaniacal tyrant deemed it so.

In ew we have Urianger being approached by Moenbryda's parents, who confront him about not confiding in them about his grief. When Bloewyda starts to scold him, he of course reacts guiltily, believing they blame him, only for him to be completely caught off guard when she instead goes in to hug him, telling him he should have let them grieve with him. And he just. Breaks down. He's been holding these feelings, this grief inside him all this time, and now that he is not only told it's okay to let it out, but by her very own parents at that, he just can't keep it in anymore. He cries for Moenbryda, right then and there, being held lovingly by her family.

And the thing is, these scenes aren't necessary, strictly speaking. The plot at large could go on without them, the events that happen around them are not changed by these moments in any way.

But still, they are so so important, to the world, to the characters, to the players. Everything feels real and impactful now, every death means something, every tragedy, every person, feels real.

And that, to me, is what makes this story so special.

[xochimillilili]

Yeah yeah I do like fucking while borderline breaking them and making us hurt, but I also just above all love and want to have gentle time with him, a sweet loving time where we have some fun before bed in our own home we've made together

I want to cuddle and have our sweet little everyday evening of cooking and resting, maybe taking a walk, before being all snug and comfy like little pigeons in a cacoon or nest of all our plushies and softest blankets in bed. Slowly flirt and kiss before eventually halfway through watching a movie, my hands are under his shirt as we kiss and lick and bite at each other softly.

Both of us a fucking needy mess of love yous and moaning each others names and cute petnames, before I have him whimpering under me, taking my cock, hugging each other as we both make each other feel as good as possible. Cumming at the same time before cuddling and praising each other, knowing we have the rest of our night and life to take our time and take it softly

[deletedelight]

DAVEKAT YURI BEAAAMM

[randomfandomarts]

So... I was rewatching Inside out 2 and obviously there were so many things we can relate to, and so many details that really get down into it, but here's my favorite detail if anyone wants to hear it. And I'm gonna ramble about it so get ready- HERE WE GO

In the first Inside out, we can see that Riley's emotions are basically making her choices, like joy wanting her to be happy all the time and hardly letting the other emotions do anything.

In my opinion, this is like letting your emotions take over your choices and what you're doing instead of thinking it through with your brain (I dunno if that really makes any sense)

Like, you know how some people go by their emotions instead of thinking it through? Like some people let their emotions take over and thinking about it logically is just thrown out the window.

I don't know if that's one of the many things the movie was trying to put out, that's just my thoughts. But it makes sense since she still was just a kid, and kids don't really go by thinking about their situations logically and basically go by what their feeling.

And I'm not saying that having yourself being restricted to feel anything is good idea, obviously we should feel. But we shouldn't go by what we're feeling all the time, we should think things over before our emotions get the best of us.

And then comes Inside out 2! We see a much older Riley, and what I absolutely LOVE is these scenes when Joy says to anxiety (and herself too) that "We don't choose who Riley is."

And when Riley calms down, Riley WANTS to feel Joy. Like, she's older, and she doesn't let her emotions control her ALL the time. That's where her logical thinking comes in. Then Sadness points out saying "Joy, Riley wants you." NOW she brings in what she's feeling.

I LOVE that detail with my heart, like it's saying her emotions don't control her, but they're still a part of her. Like logical thinking mixed in with her emotions.

And yeah! I don't really know if that was something meant to be, it was just something I noticed from both movies. And you made it to the end of my lil ramble!

[ky-the-squiddy]

Every so often I come across people going on about 'queer is a bad word, I'm not a terf but we shouldn't use that word in community/academic/etc settings, don't call me queer' and just

Okay

You're not queer

I won't call you that, no one should call you that, and anyone that does is being an asshole regardless of their identity or minority status. It doesn't matter what reasoning you have behind not wanting to be labelled as queer, what trauma you may or may not have, what you've identified as in the past and present, and whether or not your preference just comes to not liking the vibe of the word for entirely inscrutible reasons. No one has any right to pry.

If you say you're not queer, then you're not queer, and that's okay.

It just also means that if I, a queer person, talk about the queer community, then I'm not referring to you. If an academic refers to queer history and queer texts written by queer people about other queer people, they're also not talking about you. If a corporation starts using 'queer' in their ads then they can eat shit because fuck 'em, they have no fucking right to use our words when they aren't and have never been one of us, but if a well-meaning ally uses 'queer' as a one-syllable shorthand for LGBTQIA+ in a verbal conversation, then there's no reason for you to get any more annoyed at them as you would if they used the word 'gay' instead.

You have every single right to be labelled or not labelled as you like, and I will stand behind you all the way. If someone is trying to shove 'queer' on you when you really don't want it? Then I will happily, metaphorically, deck them in the face for you. We are still family, whatever you choose to call yourself, and it's important that we stick together.

But

If you aren't queer, and you get frustrated when you see queer people talking about the queer community, take a deep breath, and consider:

They aren't talking about you

[creativesplat]

seasonal depression sucks. have a picture of Stan.

[fluffnflightillustrations]

My half of the art trade for Fai! The aftermath of the race-- 2nd place is still a winner, as far as Rukia is concerned.

[triglycercule]

i need the murder time trio to drink eachother's blood after causing an injury. that's so romantic in both my eyes and theirs. i need them to bite eachother and claw at eachother and injure eachother and hurt. and then when they try to patch eachother up make the injury hurt more before finally wrapping it up with a bandaid and a kiss or a lingering glance or DARE I SAY a hug (because imo a hug is much more vulnerable than a kiss). peak of romantism i dare say

i need them to use violence against eachother as a way to keep them grounded or to just let out anger towards eachother i need dust to gouge out horror's eye and then give horror his own to replace it. i need horror to squeeze killer's soul until he can feel the pain but in exchange killer gets to use a knife inside his head i want killer and dust to fight everyday and soon their bones will be littered with scars of the other's attacks I NEED THEM TO HURT EACHOTHER!!!!!!

they share pain and release anger and frustration and all that stuff onto eachother but dw dw this is how they love. but they do genuinely dislike eachother (because no matter how much they love one another they STILL can never manage to get over their differences and that's what makes them PEAK) but they also care for the other two and in their fucked up minds this is a good relationship. not because its not toxic because it definitely fucking is but because everyone is satisfied

i love murder time trio poly

[caffeinelemur]

Stolitz Communication Styles

I feel like I need to talk about this.

Stolas’ high education and verbal gymnastics, versus Blitzø’s lack of equivalent education, dyslexia, and difficulty expressing emotions, especially through words. Because it plays a huge part in why they haven’t been, and still aren’t, communicating effectively. Also both of them are neurodivergent as fuck and communication is a bitch for us anyway.

Specifically, this is a dive into that different classes/mindsets dynamic, leading up to a look at that text conversation at the end of Western Energy, and how it leads into their possible growth.

From the very start of the series, Blitzø shows that he has difficulty with writing/spelling and prefers verbal communication. (Even if we look outside the instagrams, which are not technically canon.) The first episode has the billboard that was entirely speech-to-text and not proofread, (he’s too uncomfortable writing that big of a message out, and he thought it was easier to just say it, and was thus not equipped to proofread or edit it, as that would mean he was capable of knowing how to write it out correctly in the first place), his text messages and notes are generally short and often full of typos and phonetic spelling, and his whiteboard is usually covered in doodles and small attempts at writing that varies in levels of spelling prowess. He uses pictographs to help in proving his point or explaining his thought process. He has trouble expressing himself verbally, as his true feelings are expressed through actions, but his direct, vulgar, and often angry or insensitive wording and tone make it difficult for most people to see past this to his actual true feelings, (not to mention he often lies to others and to himself about those anyway). Issues with tone and blunt speech are a big thing with neurodivergent people, autistic and ADHD people especially, of which I think Blitzø is both. Stan an AuDHD king.

Stolas is rich, highly educated, and spent much of his life, especially early on, reading books instead of socializing. His house basically doubles as a library. He said himself that he “loves words”, and got excited about reading legal documents. He uses flowery, posh language and carefully talks around other people using this skill. His emotionally abusive past, both with his father and with Stella, make him a careful people-pleaser, and so he’s constantly giving others the upper hand in a conversation, more give than take, in attempts to not anger or have his intentions misunderstood and then incite said anger. A common thing in both abuse victims and neurodivergent people, especially autistic people, which Stolas clearly is. He does also have issues with tone and knowing when he should and shouldn’t say certain things, and he can often misunderstand others’ points and questions, and then answers or responds too bluntly or literally. Hashtag Just Autism Things.

Blitzø is an imp, the lowest class alongside hellhounds, and was raised in a circus. He clearly did not grow up wealthy in any respect (as his father resorted to selling his son and stealing from the fucking Ars Goetia so quickly, though that could also be attributed to just being living trash), nor is he particularly affluent now, as his small apartment has literally one bedroom, for Loona, and he sleeps on the couch. He outright says he can’t afford art classes. He hasn’t had the same level of educational opportunities as Stolas. On top of that, he’s also dyslexic, based on how, when he does write, it’s either written phonetically, as he would say the word, or he gets letters flipped around. He can write coherently, he’s not illiterate, but usually only when he tries really hard. He mixes capitals and lowercase in the same word sometimes. He’s even worse at texting than he is at writing by hand, with many typos, and resorting to text-speak abbreviations and emojis to lessen the amount of time he has to take trying to type shit out, and, again, doesn’t proofread.

Taking all of this into account, Blitzø is not going to understand a lot of what Stolas says when he uses larger words and talks around a point, especially since, unlike Stolas most of the time, Blitzø is very direct and uncensored when he talks (as in, no brain-to-mouth filter, but also he uses vulgarity in place of more eloquent speech), and when he is trying to say things with actual forethought, he ends up stuttering and has trouble finding the right words (ADHD brain fail ftw), and then gets angry at himself, and occasionally takes it out on others too (poor Moxxie). Stolas tries to talk around the point and backtracks his own words even more in stressful or emotional situations, giving more ground to the other, and this difference in stress response plays a part in their misunderstanding and inability to see from the other’s perspective.

In the first episode, during Stolas’ inopportune phone call, Blitzø thinks he’s being insulted when Stolas uses the word “grimoire,” because he doesn’t know it and always jumps to this conclusion, then has to get Stolas to stop using flowery language to talk around the point by telling him to “stop using your fancy ass rich people talk,” and Stolas has to change the way he’s been speaking to be more direct and clear. (He doesn’t retain this information for later, sadly).

All of this, to talk about the post-Ozzie’s text conversations. We know several things now:

1) Blitzø is not good with spelling and is more comfortable using pictographs to make his point, which you can’t do in a text. He’s also uncomfortable with honest emotional expression and has problems with tone.

2) Stolas uses overly flowery and complicated language to express himself, leading to paragraphs of talking around the main point in an attempt to explain his meaning, often to the extent that it’s extremely unclear what the point is that he’s actually trying to get to. This gets worse when he’s trying too hard to express himself or is thinking too much about the other person’s response.

3) They both have little experience with conversation of an emotional nature that’s not coming with some sort of protective front (Stolas’ open-ended people-pleasing statements, Blitzø’s use of false anger and vulgarity to push people away), so when they do try to say something without the mask, the other is unequipped for the change and misunderstands the intentions, especially when it’s through text.

Blitzø is uncomfortable with writing and especially with texting, and so says very little, using short abbreviated text-speak and emojis to express himself, like he would with his drawings. Stolas overexplains and writes paragraphs of vague statements and loquaciousness in an attempt to get a point across. These are very different approaches to the situation, and from the other’s perspective they come across differently than they intend, due to the conflicting communication styles.

So.

In the text conversations we see in Western Energy, Blitzø says very little, and doesn’t initiates the conversation. Stolas sends walls of text, overexplaining and going back and forth on his intent and the purpose of the text.

Now, we know that Stolas is trying to give Blitzø space and options, and clearly cares a lot about his feelings, and is going out of his way to make sure he’s comfortable with the situation. In doing so, he gives him several outs, minimizes the entire experience at Ozzie’s at his own expense (and therefore Blitzø’s, but he doesn’t understand that yet), and pokes at the idea of talking emotionally far too soon for Blitzø, who is freshly re-traumatizing himself from said experience at Ozzie’s.

Stolas, from his own perspective, is giving so much and getting very little in return (a common theme in his life). He would see this lack of reciprocity in communication as lack of interest or being upset. A common thing irl, it’s easy to read a “K” after a long emotional message as a negative or indifferent response, regardless of the other party’s true feelings. (Which is possibly why a lot of people get upset on Stolas’ behalf in this moment, thinking Blitzø doesn’t care as much about Stolas as Stolas does him. It’s a common thing to experience. It’s not true, though.)

Meanwhile, Blitzø already hates writing, is bad at expressing himself in general, and reads into everything as negative. He thinks that when someone says something he doesn’t fully understand that they’re insulting him or making fun of him, or he misunderstands the intention and wording to be an insult (tonal and indirect or vague speech issues), like with that first phone call with Stolas, the “that’s what she said” joke Loona made, and Crimson’s mention of hearing things about him. He has a lifetime of evidence to back up this thought process. He is constantly demeaned and insulted by larger Hell society, and was treated as unworthy and lesser since childhood. He also just fucking hates himself and blames himself for everything. He’s not gonna suddenly gush his feelings, especially over text. He’s also gonna read into others’ words extremely negatively, until the true meaning is explicitly explained to him. Which isn’t very likely in a text conversation, when he’s not going to ask for proper clarification and the other party can’t tell that he’s misconstruing the intention and so doesn’t know they need to explain more anyway.

So, he isn’t going to initiate a text conversation unless it’s for a serious reason. He clearly doesn’t use it as a method of conversation as much as a quick way to get in touch with other people and exchange information (ex- his seemingly “impossible to misunderstand” text to Loopty in C.H.E.R.U.B. & his conversation about the portal with Millie in Seeing Stars). In Blitzø’s eyes, Stolas says "hey this is/isn’t happening", and he says "ok got the info" and he moves on from there. Information exchange. Then Stolas starts trying too hard, after Ozzie’s, to take his feelings into account without fully understanding Blitzø’s feelings to begin with, and starts backtracking and talking around the point again. He already got Blitzø’s reply, but then backtracks, which doesn’t give Blitzø the direct information he needs, leading to him misunderstand the proffered options as a dismissal instead of a clear confirmation with the option for him to refuse. Blitzø already is going to have issues reading/fully understanding the long wordy messages Stolas sends, he isn’t going to understand the nuance that Stolas’ specific phrasing is trying to say, and is going to see a “but you don’t have to/only if you want” attempt at giving him autonomy and boundaries, as a “don’t/I don’t want you to” full negation.

Stolas is also downplaying their experience at Ozzie’s, which is not only negating his own traumatic experiences with being shamed and insulted (not the healthiest mindset), but also minimizes Blitzø’s feelings and experience then as a result. Blitzø is going to see this as confirmation that it wasn’t as important/emotionally painful to Stolas as it was to Blitzø. Stolas making light of a situation that started a breakdown for Blitzø just proves to Blitzø that he’s the one overreacting, and that Stolas does find him less important, as the entire situation was already about Stolas valuing him less, in his eyes.

Stolas trying to overexplain and backtrack in the lack of access to Blitzø’s own thoughts is hurting them both in this situation. None of his pushing and flip-flopping is going to make Blitzø more eager to initiate a conversation or respond more, especially through a form he’s uncomfortable with using. And this makes Stolas feel unheard and undervalued, which leads to him try even harder, which leads to Blitzø shutting himself off even more, and so on. A lovely miscommunication feedback loop.

And knowing all of this is what makes that last text so important.

Blitzø initates the conversation for the first time. He writes what is, for him, a full sentence, with an emoji. He’s expressing himself as best he can, and is showing his actual feelings in the message. He’s going out of his way to say something to Stolas.

Which then… Stolas overwhelms him with more emotions and words. He’s not comfortable with emotional conversation and too much at once would freak him out, and the immediate upfront honest thoughts Stolas sends in the wake of Blitzø’s own emotional expression aren’t what he necessarily needs or wants to deal with, especially so soon after that worldview-shattering realization, the following guilt spiral, and the subsequent opening up that the first text is.

Yet he then, in spite of these hurdles, starts to reply.

But he gives up.

We don’t know for sure what he was going to say, but an easy read of his thoughts would be: he tried to express his feelings again in some way, was failing to do it right, was overwhelmed with feelings he didn’t know how to handle, and angrily gave up. Probably cursing himself out for even trying.

It’s not callous or uncaring or lacking reciprocity. It’s the full opposite. He’s trying so hard, but failing again. He cares so much and is incapable of expressing it verbally and unable to receive similar care in return.

Look back to the other time he tried this hard to write something emotional. The letter for Fizz. The love letter. And see how that situation went? He got overwhelmed, angry at everything and at himself for thinking he could try at all, and it all ended in fucking disaster. That he blames himself for. That he hates himself for. But here he tried to do it again anyway, while thinking, again, what happened to Stolas was his fault. That one message means so fucking much.

To Blitzø, the idea of visiting Stolas in the hospital was out of the question entirely, and him being asked to so immediately and candidly would make his guilty brain fall over itself even more. He’s never been allowed to visit his loved ones in the hospital, and the entire reason they were hospitalized to begin with was because of Blitzø, so how could this situation be any different? He wasn’t allowed to visit Fizz or Barbie, people who at least at one point he believed cared about him, so he’s definitely not going to be allowed to visit Stolas, who he already thinks doesn’t really give a shit.

That text was the best he could do at that time.

To really communicate effectively, these two need to sit down in front of each other and actually explain where they’re coming from. The lack of knowledge of the other’s position and situation, both in their past and currently in this relationship, is hurting them, and making understanding each other more difficult. The class difference and the differences in upbringing, despite both having garbage fathers and fucking meeting each other as children, are impeding their understanding and view of the other. Both Stolas’ obliviousness toward the actual differences in station and opportunity between him and imps as a whole, and inability to realize Blitzø’s personal difficulties with communication (based in the same place he’s blind to), and Blitzø’s (valid) disdain for the upper class and his view of the stronger, and especially of Stolas, as too good and important to bother with him and too powerful to feel actual pain, are the things they need to fucking address.

Blitzø already got this worldview fucked with, between seeing Stolas worry so much over his daughter, and then actually getting badly hurt. He now knows Stolas can care, and that he can feel pain, and that makes him at least peripherally aware that he’s able to be emotionally hurt.

By Blitzø.

Stolas, meanwhile, is vaguely at the point of comprehending he holds more power in their dynamic because of their differences in status, and him holding the key to Blitzø’s entire business and livelihood. He now knows Blitzø didn’t think he wanted anything other than sex, because of his hasty and overly selfish attempt at keeping him around. And it was a sex deal! He realizes he was wrong for holding that over Blitzø and that his actions and words in the past helped cause the misunderstanding that he didn’t care for Blitzø past getting sexual favors.

Stolas is gonna try to fix this power imbalance by giving up the entire premise of their current relationship, in the vain hope Blitzø will understand and then reciprocate his actual feelings, while Blitzø is now vaguely trying to actively prove he gives a shit about people, even while unsure of Stolas’ feelings toward him, and the result of these intentions clashing is gonna be a goddamn mess, unless miraculously they can communicate around the inevitable misunderstanding.

Please somebody let them explain themselves and have the other fucking listen.

They both love each other, but are fucked up from trauma and are neurodivergent, so they express themselves differently and can barely figure out their own shit, let alone explain it to the other. Get therapy and try new communication styles.

But they are slowly learning. They have the tools and ability to figure this out if they both try. It’s not futile. It just might take some fuck ups and more time to fully get there.

Sincerely, an AuDHD emotional abuse victim that sees themself in both of these idiots and wants to scream.

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Shadow 2024, Day 1, Woods

Man I need to write for First more. Anyway! Another one done and polished, nice and soft and technically a continuation/missing scene from one of last year's one shots that I'm really glad to be able to finish and post. As always the reader pov is gender neutral (can lean either side to whoever is reading) and can be read as romantic or platonic and in or out of an LU context, though I am mainly writing for an hypothetical iteration of First in LU since he is not officially in the comic but a lot of people accept him as part of the official Chain (the author included), and really that's what we have aus for lol. (Also uh, possible TW{?}, just to be safe for those who are squeamish/can't handle graphic descriptions: OoT Dead Hand and it's lore is it's own warning and I do reference it. As always mind your safety and health dear readers. ) Enjoy your reading!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Long, pale, thin arms bend in shapes not meant for a human body, too many joints bend with sickly cracks, thin fingers adorned with elongated, winking crimson claws hook around your arms and legs, too many limbs that should not belong to a single being reanimated through a sickness of the world holding you in place with indomitable strength fueled only by rigor mortis and hunger no matter how hard you struggle. A stabbing pain upon your skull rips a howl from your throat, a sound better suited to a dying animal than a human being, in the corner of your eye you see the thing slowly slinking closer, once pale robes a mottled, dusty gray, bloodied from the life force of previous victims and fellow tortured souls.

You are a pinned butterfly upon a board, frozen with a primal terror as the claws lacerate through flesh digging, tearing like a rabid dog's teeth upon an unfortunate deer, the things wide, staring eyes meet yours from the top of an impossibly long neck barely supporting it's elongated head, instinctively your struggle renews itself. Gagging at the sickly sweet smell of rot and sick, the scent of metal thick in the air squeezes the breath from your lungs, a cocktail of desperation and helplessness flooding your entire system.

("H—")

It died starving, and hunger still settles over it's decaying features. A broken jaw contorts and twists in a cold, toothy mimicry of a human grin, grotesque and unnatural between the rotted gums and exposed teeth, burning it's stark, decaying and sunken features into your mind.

("—ong?")

The putrid corpse's too blunt, too human teeth sink into the hollow of your collarbone, tears through skin, rips through tendons, it cracks and grinds through bone and meat, something sinks into your pores and it burns. Something too thick to be saliva, closer to tar as it nests beneath your skin like an infection, eating you inside out and you scream and scream and scream-

"Wake up!"

Your eyes snap open as you bolt upright, a scream bitten down with practice from one too many nights traveling in a group haunted by the things called nightmares and insomnia from a life of fighting.

It's just you, the nightly whispering of the woods, the crackling of the fire and First.

The knight's stoic posture relaxes, softens a little, stern features creased as concern flickers through twin azure flames, the moonlight turning his hair the same shade as wheat fields in summer. "My apologies for waking you, I could not bear to watch the terrors interrupt your rest any for any longer."

You breathe in the sight of the hero, of the woods of Twilight's era with it's dark trees shedding honey and maple scales onto the ground as life went to slumber and the smell of birch and maple and hawthorn and attempt to quell your shaking. It's a futile effort, you're shivering from the late autumn breeze like as if the woods' leaves had taken a human shape, the memory of the empty eyes and a sunken skull and fine strands of human hair clinging to a decaying skull sinks it's claws into your mind. "There's no need. It was probably for the best." Your gaze drifts around the camp as you palm around for your quilt knocked over in your struggle, the firelight allows you to see the other boys, and you distractedly note your long dagger is right where you left it; it helps loosen the hold the hooks that night left on you, you swallow thickly. "Did I wake anyone up?"

First shakes his head, your shaking fingers meet fabric and your distracted mind is yanked back to reality when the motions of using it's warmth and weight as a shield against the world are already done.

It's not your quilt, painstakingly made with Malon's help and teachings inherited from Sun on one of the quieter moments you and the Chain had in each era since you've started traveling with them. A mark of friendship that served as a balm for difficult days.

(A little after Sun confirmed you were not a threat, to the relief of your cautious companions, a little before you had found First half delirious with duty not yet fulfilled and death stolen from a mortal body and blood loss and dragged him from the brink with meager medical knowledge and later back to the Chain on your back.)

It's First's cape, as red as the feathers of his and Sky's loftwings, soft and warm and carrying the scent of breezes through hylian fields and leather and metal.

There's a quirk to his generally stern, elegant countenance as you turn your shocked eyes to his, as amused and warm as he's allowed himself to be. First's hand falls over yours as you make to remove it, cautious and with as much care as a bird landing on someone's hand, you can't help but marvel a little at it, the part of you that would either jump for joy or break down into sobs from pride were you not so tired. First was the most distant of the Links, drifting just on the edges of the Chain, with a kind heart that had chunks ripped out both by cruel fate and still bled to this day; he could be cold, of course, but anyone could see how weariness had been carved into the lines of his being. A spirit made to never be broken but not never damaged, who never had a chance to heal.

"You need it more than me." He rumbles softly, insistently. You catch the glimpse of the discoloration on his wrists as his hands reach to readjust the scar, not unlike the tears marring your arms and your heart aches a little.

You've both come a long way.

You stop your motions with a small sigh and as soon as the knight is done, you pick up your discarded quilt, determined to return the favor. You know it's his turn to keep watch, as him, Warriors and Time generally swapped the second turn between themselves (much to your exasperation and the Chain's), but there's no reason he can't continue doing so comfortably.

"Join me? It's chilly and it's not like I'll be going back to sleep anytime soon." You offer, offering him the blanket in turn.

First tilts his head and gives you a look, it's a bad excuse, it's only mid autumn after all, the campfire, and you're both well aware that he's withstood worse than the fall winds between his imprisonment and crossing the skies atop Vermilion.

Still, he nods, the ghost of a smile clings to the edges of his face as he sits by you. Allowing you to wrap the quilt around his shoulders, facing the fire and the woods. "Of course."

You smile, it's a small thing of broken glass and haunted nights, but it's there.

Between the crisp, cool autumn air, the return of your smile, the one who unwittingly guided him back to his fellow heroes and the knowledge that he's not alone, that's more than enough for First.

The two of you spend the rest of the second watch quietly chatting, First about his time with his fellow knights, before the imprisonment, about Orville and the ballads and legends of his time, you trade him stories of your own home, myths and legends, tales and stories you've grown up hearing and reading in your childhood into your adulthood. At some point you drift closer together, his chin atop your head and your head on his shoulder.

It's peaceful.

Neither of you have nightmares that night.

(A gentle hand hesitantly finds it's way to your head, lighter than a feather, clothed in butterfly scales and diamond dust, it brushes softly through your hair. The pale figure smiles, careful fingers softly rest over First's sleeping face, and the being's eyes soften, clearer than the sky on a summer day, a hum leaves the pale entity's slender throat, and the world follows in symphony.

Content, She does not linger.

The wind through the trees sound like singing.)