#ellie’s fucked up playthrough

[hawkepockets]

act 3 gale… 😔🫶

[dpimagines]

Blind Date

SYNOPSIS: Wade is set up with a friend of Ellie's and Yukio's. It goes better than anyone expected it to.

Warnings / Notes: Mentions of past bullying, Deadpool being Deadpool (But His Sweet Side, so Mildly OOC) / I'm super open to writing a continuation of this! This is uncharacteristically fluffy of me, so I'm craving the smut or angst we could get out of this. Shoot me a request if you have any ideas!

Yukio squeals. Wade’s used to her giddy noises, squeaks and giggles and the like. Ellie still cringes like it’s the first time she’s ever heard it, but she still looks at Yukio like it’s the first time she’s ever seen someone so beautiful every time she looks at her, so it balances out. 

“What is it?” Ellie asks, stirring vegetables around a sizzling pan. Wade somehow managed to invite himself to their fajita lunch, and smelling the food makes his stomach growl.

“Y/N!” Yukio exclaims.

“Where?” Ellie says, looking around. 

“No, silly, we should set Wade up with Y/N!”

“Why? Are you mad at her?” Ellie remarks. 

“She literally cannot help but romance Hancock on every Fallout 4 playthrough. Seriously.” 

“That’s your basis? A crush on a fictional character?” Ellie asks, and Wade could spot her amused-bordering-on-pissed expression from miles away. You must be special to her in some way. 

“Well, she… Y’know, she’s different.”

“You think she should settle for him just because of her mutation?” 

“No! No, not at all! I meant her personality! She’s so sweet and patient and stuff!” Yukio quickly says. 

“So why would we torture her by sticking her with him?”

“Y’know, you girls haven’t even asked me if I’d be interested. What if I think she’s a total butterface? What if I talk about my ex-fiancée the whole time? What if she’s too pretty for me? What if-?”

“You asking those questions means you’re interested,” Ellie cuts him off dismissively. “Fine, Yukio. You win. Go for it.”

“Texting her now! Yeah, she’s interested. Just let me know what you’re planning and I’ll tell her when and how to dress.”

“Oh, uh… Maybe a movie?”

“That’d be good,” Ellie says quickly. “That’s a really good idea.”

“She’s ugly, isn’t she?”

Ellie glares daggers.

“Never mind, not a movie. Dinner… At De Luca.”

“De Luca?!” Yukio exclaims. 

“Uh, yeah? That’s a place people go for dates around here, isn’t it?”

“It better be your treat, that place is expensive!” Ellie demands.

“Well, duh. You guys seem to forget that unaliving people pays incredibly well. Anyways, what’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing,” Ellie insists.

“If he doesn’t know, he might hurt her feelings,” Yukio insists. 

“He can ask her himself. Let her say it in her own words, share what she wants to share.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m gonna fuck this up,” Wade already knows. “But at least she’ll get a free meal out of it. How about tonight? The anticipation is already killing me.”

Yukio texts, before looking up and nodding. 

“What time?” she asks.

“Can she meet me in the foyer at five?” he suggests. She types some more. 

“It’s a date!” she cheers. 

“And lunch is served,” Ellie declares gloomily. 

“So, what’s the deal with you and her, then?”

“Ellie dealt with some bullying when she first got here,” Yukio explains. “It was mostly light-hearted teasing, but it was just too soon, and with some people, it kinda got out of hand. Y/N was a senior at the time and stood up for her. From then on, she’s admired her and is always looking for opportunities to repay the favor.”

“That is so fucking cute I could die,” Wade coos. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise.”

“Hearing that coming from you, I’m more concerned,” Ellie grumbles, pushing a plate towards him. “Just eat. And be respectful. Now, and then.”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Wade replies before digging in. 

A few hours later, Wade invites Yukio to give him one last once over before he meets you at the door, and her shadow has trailed along diligently. Yukio gives him some helpful pointers while Ellie sulks in silence, still not a huge fan of this idea.

“Lose the mask,” Ellie finally contributes.

“Lose the- No! If I’m paying this much for food, she better be able to eat it!”

“You didn’t seem to mind the price earlier. Besides��� She’s not like that. Yukio had a point earlier. Your face works in your favor, this time around. It’s everything else about you that you need to tone down a little,” Ellie argues. 

“Fine. But when she throws up, I’m calling you down there to clean it up,” Wade retorts, taking off the mask. He feels naked without it despite his suit and loafers. This is the nicest he’s dressed since his mother’s funeral.

��There we go,” Yukio says with a beam. “Perfect. Now, go! It’s almost time.”

“Thank you, my fairy godmothers. Wait, it’s not offensive to call you guys fairies, is it? ‘Cause I didn’t-”

“Go,” Ellie insists. He scurries downstairs. You’re not there yet, but there’s a young woman lurking around down there. He hesitantly joins her, and she looks at him with surprise before smiling. Wow, she’s gorgeous, so pretty that he starts to question if she’s a figment of his imagination.

“Wade?” you ask. Your voice sounds like Negasonic’s, so much so that it’s weird, but he brushes it off as best as he can.   

“Y/N?” No way, you’re stunning in a flowy knee-length dress and mary janes, your hair styled in an effortlessly pretty way. You might just be the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen. 

You nod, offering your hand to him. Your eyes say, “Shall we?” He hesitantly takes your hand. Your smile widens. He leads you outside. You trail alongside him to the car, letting your hands swing together, though not too much.

He lets go of your hand to open the door for you. You get seated, and he closes it, quickly making his way to the driver’s seat. 

“Sorry it’s kind of a beater, I can’t be driving anything too showy for obvious reasons.”

You shrug, but he can tell it doesn’t bother you.

“Not much of a talker, huh? I guess that’s why our friends thought we’d work. I talk, you listen, very cutesy…But I need someone to feed off of to be funny, so you better be up to the challenge.”

You giggle, covering your mouth. 

The drive to the restaurant is in awkward silence. He really doesn’t know what to say. He could ask you about yourself, but that might make you uncomfortable considering how little you’re willing to speak. He could start talking about himself, but that has the potential to put you off for more than one reason – either you’ll be disturbed by his life story, or he’ll come across as self-absorbed. 

The two of you enter and despite a wary look from the hostess, you’re seated relatively quickly. 

You’re brought ice water and bread. 

“Damn, this place is fancy…” Wade remarks as you sip your water. You smile sheepishly. “Hm… You seem normal. I was told there was something different about you. In fact, when Yukio had the idea to set us up, Ellie accused her of thinking you should have to settle for someone like me because of your mutation. I was expecting, I don’t know, snakes for hair, Silly Putty for fingers, something. I’m gonna start guessing if you don’t come out with it.”

Your sweet smile changes into a devilish smirk as you challenge him with your eyes. He realizes it’s more entertaining for the both of you if he does attempt to guess, so he gives it a shot. 

“Acid spit?” he asks. You shake your head. “Hiding a third boob in there?” he wonders, lifting his head and looking down for it despite your somewhat modest neckline. Your face scrunches up with amusement as you shake your head again. “Damn it. Can’t blame a guy for hoping. What about another face on the back of your head, Voldemort-style? That would be kinda cool.”  

You shake your head once more, though you’re clearly amused by his attempts to figure it out. 

“Wait,” he says, lowering his voice to a whisper: “Does your vagina kill people? Like that one girl on American Horror Story?”

“No,” you finally say, laughing. “It’s my voice.” 

“Whoa,” he murmurs. 

“Yeah, I can only speak words I’ve heard before exactly as I heard them last.”

“That’s why you sounded like Ellie earlier, when you said my name. She was the last person you heard say it.”

“Exactly,” you reply. 

“Well, that’s not so bad.”

“Most of the time,” you agree. “But I can’t always control my TONE!”

You slap a hand over your mouth as your fellow guests give you brief glances of concern and confusion. 

“Tone,” he says in a normal volume. 

“Tone,” you echo with a look of astonishment. “They call me Spirit Box.”

“Like the things ghost hunters use, right? That’s so cool. You must be great for espionage. Just bring you along as a secretary or assistant or whatever, then slap some headphones on you and turn up some instrumental music all the way ‘til you can get to a recording device and repeat what you heard.”

“I suppose so, but honestly most of the time I just hang out. I have some martial arts training, but when someone can choose between that and a human bomb, WELL, it’s not really a choice,” you explain. 

“Well,” he says for you. “I think it’s super cool. Normally, I get bored listening to other people talk. I doubt that’ll ever happen with you.”

“I might as well warn you- Damn it,” you swear. It’s in his voice. 

“What is it?”

“If I say this word I’m going to end up yelling it.”

“Uh, wanna type it out on your phone? I can read it.”

You blush, shaking your head. 

“Sounds are the same way. Even when I laugh it’s not MINE.”

“Mine,” he repeats, as you seem to appreciate it. “I don’t understand why I’d need a warning for- Oh. Gotcha.”

“I may be an alright… Talker to you, but I doubt you’d want to hear a man’s voice during sex!” Your eyes water as they avoid his in shame. Someone said that to you, and harshly. 

“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t repeat that,” he murmurs, reaching for your hand. You give it to him, your hands resting together on the table. “Besides, I’m pansexual, so, honestly… It’d be kinda hot. Best of both worlds.”

“No kidding,” you reply. It’s all Ellie. “That’s great!” you chirp in Yukio’s voice. 

“You’re pretty good friends with those two, huh?”

You nod. 

“Keeping a small circle helps with consistency,” you add. “But I’m a TV addict, so…”

“Me, too. That totally makes sense. Oh, we should look at the menus. I’ll order for you, if you want.”

“Please,” you moan, swiftly retracting your hand to cover your mouth once more as your cheeks flush. He laughs.

“I’m not repeating that, either. Hot,” he teases you.

“You’re mean,” you reply with a laugh, his laugh. 

“Please,” he says. “Forgive me.”

You smile in response before looking over the menu. 

“You haven’t said anything about my face,” he realizes.

“Oh, sorry. You’re very handsome.” You don’t even look up, still looking for something appetizing. “No prices. Yikes. What are you getting?”

“Uh… Seriously. You don’t wanna ask?”

“I think you should tell me when you’re ready. I meant it, though. I think you’re very handsome.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. “I think I’m gonna go with the seafood alfredo.”

The rest of the date goes swimmingly, the two of you conversing on various topics: TV shows and music you both like (and exchanging recommendations,) he shares his story (you fawned over him, maybe a little too much,) your careers (you transcribe classes at Xavier’s for students who are Deaf and/or have learning disabilities, he’s a…freelancer. You giggled at that. He doesn’t care whose sweet little giggle that is, it’s yours now,) and more. 

All good things must come to an end, though. Once dinner’s over, the two of you head back to the school. He walks you all the way to your room. 

“This was really nice,” you tell him. “Thank you.”

“It was,” he agrees. “Can I see you again? Maybe you could come up with a list of words for me to say for you, and I can say them for you over lunch.”

“That’s so sweet, Wade. I’d really like that, but I feel bad. Is there anything like that-” you cover your mouth again at the unmistakably pornographic tone, but he removes your hand gently with an amused smile. 

“Keep going,” he encourages you. “Like that.”

“Is there anything like that I could do for you?” 

“Well, you wanted to go on a date with me after seeing my face, so, you kinda already did.”

You open your mouth, but close it quickly. 

“What is it that you’re needing to say?” he asks quietly, like he’s trying not to embarrass you in front of someone else despite the two of you being alone in the quiet hallway, the only sound besides you both being the ticking on an old grandfather clock. You raise your hand, touching his lips. “You want to kiss me?”

“Yes, I want to kiss you.” 

Wade grins before taking your cheeks in his hands and uniting your lips with his for the first time. Neither of you wants to pull away, but air is an unfortunate necessity. 

You take your phone out of your purse, tapping around before presenting it to him on the Add New Contact screen. He eagerly types in his name and contact details, adding in the notes: “Just FYI after the whole Weapon X debacle I am hung like a horse and have an incredible refractory period. I only mention the refractory period because I’m pretty sure I’d explode if you even looked at it. Seriously, you are MAJORLY hot” 

He passes the phone back to you, and you look. You turn red before nodding in understanding. 

“Goodnight, Wade.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

[kittyclowns]

the game doesn't give you shit if you romance wyll btw

will probably end up romancing shadowheart on my next playthrough I'm a bit in love with her

[reilleclan-blog]

I just listened to a song talking about "keep quiet ur fears are too loud" and I can't get it out of my head. For one ppl are so fucking creative and two it set my stomach on fire cause I want to sing I want to experience shit. And I want to not always feel lonely as much as I do. But I have to work I can't even get a dumbass apartment cause I was 4K short of money I made. I can't feel loved I don't feel it from family never really did. The neglect out wayed everything else. And I'm still trying to get over so much. I visited my brothers a few days ago and some part of me feels like I'll be left by them. Then my mind started spiraling what if they struggled with stuff but I wasn't strong enough to help and support them. I'd rather be the one hurt than them. Yeah I know I'm letting my anxiety take over I can't not think about certain stuff I just push it away before the thoughts get too bad. Anyways I wish I could see them more often I miss them all the time. They are brothers from my dad side but we grew up like we had the same parents or tried too.

And honestly the song reminded me of Ellie being traumatized I kinda wish there was more times that showed her "in distress" maybe I sound like a sick fuck for saying that, but yeah tlou is wild. I'd say for the ppl that don't like heavy stories like that AT LEAST play it one good time.

Anyways I guess I'm done typing out my fears and wants for the night, my soul yearns for something idk what it is to fulfill her. What does she want :) lol idk but I know life can be taken away from me at any second so I'm just taking it a day at a time and I could still say I did my best I did what I could with how many obstacles were thrown at me . Ngl tlou and cyberpunk still make me feel so emo especially cyberpunk. That shit had me fucked all the way up after the dlc I love the game dearly but I'd really like a break. It's been 5months? Since I touched the game fully putting hours into it. I was planning to do a "evil " playthrough for PL ;-; I still miss my gf songbird also I'm sad a mutual deactivated their account I loved their so mi content a lot :,/

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY LOVES TLOU2

here are a fuck ton of thoughts and things i love and things that i've just noticed during my multiple playthroughs!!! i really love this game and i really wanted to talk about it lmao ppl so enjoy lmao!!! though if you know nothing abt the game... this might be very boring bc it's not like i give a lot of context to my thoughts😭😭whatever this was for me okay!!!!!!!!!!!

⚠︎ spoilers spoilers hardcore spoilers i am talking abt every death known to mankind i am not holding anything back type of spoilers ⚠︎

ELLIE

— i have a love/hate relationship with her<3 let's not get into the fact that i also kin her btw this is so irrelevant i adore her and i also kind of want to punch her in the face<333

— i love how much she fidgets. she plays with her fingers and she does this thing where she rubs her chin against her shoulder when she's nervous. it all just makes her so much more real. (i also.. do both of those things. ok no let's not get into that cough)

— when ellie and dina find a clicker crawling on the floor during day one and it very obviously scares ellie and then dina asks her whether she's ok like the good girlfriend that she is, to which ellie first replies 'yeah' with a shaky voice only to clear her throat and give dina a way stronger 'yeah'. as if she's trying to act a bit tougher yk? (ok here's a lil link from a gameplay if u actually wanna hear the difference)

— i love how much ellie fucks up. gonna talk abt the first game here too bc i want to. when she first meets david, she does well by getting the man to give up his gun but then a few minutes later we find out that david had another gun which ellie didn't know abt simply bc she didn't ask abt it!!!!!!!!!!!! she could've died just there.

and then later when david is telling her all about how joel killed all his men and everything, ellie doesn't hear the other man having a gun on her. boom she could've been dead right there. she only lives bc david is a fucking pedophile yayyy

it's just very clear that she is, in fact, a fourteen year old lmao i'm not saying that she should've actually done anything differently - i am actually very very happy with the way they portrayed her there.

and she's the same way in the second one too. she acts very very tough, but she's clumsy and she lets her guard down way too easily. AND IT'S REALISTICCC PLEASEE I'M NOT DISSING HER I LOVE THIS LITTLE DETAIL SOOO SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

on day two, when she finally reaches the hospital and she's met with her first proper wolf; ellie holds a knife to whitney's throat to ask about nora (the girl she's looking for) and when whitney does tell her the info she needs, ellie kind of zones out for a mere second but that's enough for whitney to yank out of her hold and it almost ends very badly. it's very stupid. even she herself says so.

and on day three, when we're finally met with mel and owen, ellie tries to do the infamous joel and tommy interrogation move. but she fucks it up so bad.

for those who might not know what the fuck i'm talking abt - the move includes having two ppl being faced away from each other, so you can ask one of them to write down the information you want without the other seeing the answer. and then you let the other person do the same, and if the info matches - they're telling the truth!! yayy!!!!!

ellie has both of the people in front of her, so owen would've been able to see exactly where mel is pointing lmao. and then she let's them both get way too close which ends up owen going for her gun and then everything just goes to hell. and she gets fucking nothing out of it other than three more kills.

she also lets nora to get to her, too. the latter brings up joel and the second ellie's gun lowers just an inch, nora smacks her in the face with a fucking platter and therefore is able to make a run for it.

another thing that goes well with this point is just the fact that she is very emotional. gets angry very easily and she tends to act very irrationally. #she's literally me

— have never been angrier when ellie put a knife to lev because ????? lev is THE only reason dina and jj and ellie herself are alive?????????? abby would've 100% killed all of them (rightfully so i'm afraid) but lev was the one that made her stop and now she's threatening to kill him????? be so serious rn ellie my dear

— i hated playing the santa barbara part and i died during the last fight way too many times simply because i was so afraid that i'd actually have to kill abby. i.. thought about not finishing the game lmao

— the last scene of the game............................. i cried so hard. i also cried when they showed us the 'fight' ellie and joel had during the night in jackson bc i was so afraid that that was their last interaction yk? so when we see joel strumming his guitar on his porch.... ohhhhhhhhh:(((( the fact that he says that he'd do it all again. ellie saying that she'd like to try and forgive him and joel crying??????????? just fucking shoot me okay this hurts so fucking bad

and joel bringing up dina ever so gently, being the old man that he is, he tries to show his support even though he knows that ellie probably doesn't even want it................

JOEL

— joel giving his name and lending a hand to a complete stranger after playing the tough guy for over 20 years only for it to blow it up so fucking terribly in his face is just.................... awful my heart still hurts btw

— yes i think he deserved it yes i love him yes i cried so hard that i needed to pause the game

his death didn't really come as a surprise though,, not to sound like some pick-me but i did assume that they'd be fireflies bc........... oh i wonder that was the Big Thing Joel Did In The First Game That Could Come And Bite Him In The Ass yk?? he took away the possibility of a vaccine and he also killed a hospital full of people like joel is not a good man lmao I STILL LOVE HIM THOUGHHH

— joel taught ellie how to swim:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( and then just the whole museum thing aaaaaaaaaaaarrghhhhh yes i cried during this part too. i love how much more open he is at that point, like he's more than comfortable talking about sarah and it's just soo:((((((((((((((

and ohhh the way joel looks at ellie when he's handing her the tape:(((

and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the fact that joel kept the little dinosaur pamphlet too:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((everything hurts please send help

— joel vs abby and the group + the moose vs the wolves statue in the museum yeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

— joel reading the comic book that ellie is into to have something to talk to her about................................................... i'm so sad

THE JACKSON CREW

— i LOVED JESSSEEEEEEE btw during my first playthrough i was just thinking abt what a cool guy he is and how i hope that nothing happens to him and then he got shot in the face literally in the next scene yeah that was just so amazing thank you game)

and aaaaaahhhh his little enterance was such a big surprise to me!!!!! ok i think it was for everybody actually,, i think that was done really really well

— AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE DINAA!!!!!!!!!!!! i think she did nothing wrong i think she's perfect!!!!!!!!!! i loved loved loved how gentle she was with ellie until the end,, she loved ellie sm:(((

— tommy.............................................. now that was heartbreak. i can't even descibe the hurt i felt when he brought up abby again......... and when he snaps at ellie for not wanting to go after her....... ouch ouch ouch that genuinely hurt so fucking much bc i loved tommy so bad!!!! i do think that he is in the wrong, i think that he is mostly just bitter about maria fucking leaving him so he's now trying to idk take back time or some shit. i'm not saying that he should be grateful to be alive but... he should. abby could've fucking decimated the whole group (she almost did) and now you're here still obsessing over her

— maria is so hot btw thanks for listening to my ted talk

ABBY

— i love her<3 and i think the only bad thing she ever was did was that she killed jesse (rip my king i loved him sm)

— :33 if you have anything bad to say about her i will not hear it.

— if i ever happen to see another 'who's winning' poll with abby and ellie with ellie fucking winning i am burning down earth because what the fuck are you guys on. even after being strung up on a pole under the californian sun with no food and nothing to drink, she almost won against ellie. who btw had a knife.

and the threater fight????????? abby only had her fists and bricks and bottles while ellie had her ENTIRE BAG including her knife and a shotgun and a bow and trapmines and she still couldn't kill abby????? yeah cmon now abby would fucking eat ellie for breakfast

— but yeah i fucking love abby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think her storyline is so fucking good and i just overall think that uhh she's a better person than ellie<3 sue me okay sue me i still love ellie but man you cannot deny that abby didn't have a redemption arc while ellie litERALLY STILL WENT AFTER HER IN THE ENDDDD??????????

the way abby turns against the wolves and takes lev under her arm is just soooo:(((((((( they mean the world to me

— omfg and when abby teaches lev what the word 'cool' means but he then messes it up later, saying 'cold' instead😭😭THAT'S MY SONN FR!!!!!!!!!

THE WOLVES (aka the washington liberation front aka the w.l.f)

— i hate owen. i hate owen with every fiber in my body. gets mel pregnant and then just decides to up and leave yeah okay pussy. "we're allowed to be happy." YEAH AND SO DOES MEL ASSHOLE BUT NOW SHE HAS YOUR KID INSIDE HER DURING A FUCKING APOCALYPSE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BY ANY CHANCE

i'm sounding like a proper mel pussy rider rn i promise u that i don't actually care that much abt her i just think that... no matter whether owen likes mel or not - he has to take some fucking responsibility for getting her pregnant

btw i have NEVER read a room more wrong than the boat scene. is that bc they're straight?? idk man i was genuinely so upset with owen and with the way he was talking to abby and just the way he was acting and then they.. do That. what

also. he never asked abby about the fuCKING BRUISE AROUND HER NECKKKK???????????????????? kys man i am an owen hater until i die lmao

— the wolves having a goodbye saying of "may your survival be long" and "may your death be swift"

so when nora tells abby the first line as they part in the hospital but abby replies back with "and may my death be swift" is the most insane foreshadowing in the world because only a few hours later ellie arrives at the hospital, beating nora to death in a very slow and a painful manner:3

GAMEPLAY

— INCREDIBLEEEEEEEE genuinely think that the gameplay is fucking extraordinaly i love the weapon sway i love getting oneshotted by a shotgun i love going prone (and yes i keep wanting to say prone bone don't look at me) i love using a bow while laying down on the ground???????? i love breaking glass i love rope mechanics

— SEATTLE DAY 2 WHEN ELLIE IS ALONE AND SHE FINDS A LETTER SAYING THAT FIVE WLF PPL HAVE DESERTED THE GROUP AND ARE NOW ON THE RUN + ELLIE GETTING ATTACK IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING ON THE WORKBENCH SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the little things leading up to that are fucking amazing 1. ellie makes noise no matter how she gets into the building - she either breaks glass or if she gets in from the basement, there are bottles set up by the door so when she opens it they all fall, letting the wolves know that someone is coming 2. there are still growing tomatoes in the apartment, a very tell-tale sign of yk.. somebody living in there lmao 3. ellie finds a locked door and it's just so crazy to think that there are actually people inside that room

hearing the footsteps when you think that you're safely in a you know A Pause Screen was fucking terrifying it scared the shit out of me i loved it

— love the fact that you can hide under things but what i love even more is that enemies do check the places!!!!!!!!!!!! they crouch down and they check it and they fucking pull you out from whatever you're hiding under and that is also fucking scary as shit lmao

— the fact that both big groups have their own Things: the wolves have the dogs (lol) and the seraphites like to communicate by whistling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's very fun and innovative

plus points to the whistles bc they're even worse while you're playing grounded bc the game doesn't tell you what whistle is what whistle like it does while you're playing it on normal. you gotta remember them yourself if you want to get ahead<333

— overall i love how realistic the combat is?? like the weapon sway is fucking horrid but... that's the point of it, isn't it?? like none of these people are meant to be fucking sharpshooters and you're all bound to miss a fuck ton bc that's just the way it is. and that also makes hitting headshots sooooo much more satisfying too oh my god i love that

— AND I LOVE HOW GNARLY THE COMBAT IS!!!!!!!!!! dismembered limbs and bits and pieces of their people's bodies sliding down the walls after you shoot them with something heavy rrraaaahhhhhh

and the way the blood pools after you kill somebody??? like you can actually see it spread on the ground it's so fucking sick and if you happen to step in it, you leave bloody footprints behind you as well

— the way people cry out when you kill a dog:(((( the way they call their name yeahhhh.... and i do actually love that they put dogs in the game like it's fucking awful and it feels so fucking bad but it's real isn't it?? and like i don't really know if any other game has done smth like this too i think it's a very interesting thing. and the fact that they're very, very hard to deal with.. bc it's not like you can fucking sneak up on a dog now can you???? so the game just forces you to think of new ways to do things!! plus points for making the player feel bad by showing the dogs through abby's eyes later too (like u can play ball with a dog named 'bear' knowing that... you have most definitely killed said dog a day before as ellie....)

— stalkers are fucking terrifying. literally almost shat myself when i first met them. i love it. an absolutely fucked up concept like wdym there are mfs in the room with me who aren't really attacking but just.. looking at me from behind corners and shit???????????? fuck you game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a very very good design imo!!!!!!!!!!!

— i think it's very fun how the game developers used space. everyone who has played games that are even remotely similar to tlou are used to scouring every crook and nanny of an area assuming that they're gonna find loot but here... there's just a lot of empty space lmao it sounds annoying and it is, but that doesn't make it a dumb little thing i think it just makes the game even more realistic.

— they do this in the first game too but man the attention to detail is insane. you know you actually have to move SLOWLY if you want to be quiet??????????? like typically the fact that you're crouching down is sufficent but not in this one. simply crouching down is just more for like taking cover,, the enemies and esp the clickers will still hear you perfectly if you're trying to 'sneak' around without slowing down your movements!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's a very neat mechanic. this also made me almost quit the game when i first played it because i didn't understand it lmao

MORE OVERALL THOUGHTS

— LESBIAN ELLIEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A FEMALE LESBIAN MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love that she's not bisexual either, like they very clearly even state that she is NOT into men lmao and i fucking love that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— BUFF ABBBYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODD SHE'S SO FUCKING AMAZING AND SO HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i remember seeing all the hate the character got just bc of her physique like ok cowards just say that you're afraid of women lmao

— LEV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A TRANS CHARACTERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this sounds like bare minimum and i hate that i have to praise it so bad i wish we had more trans characters but oh my god i love him so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i just love his storyline so much too wahh he's my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— exceptional soundtrack!!!!!!! i really fucking love it i think the music adds to the scenes so fucking much and gustavo and mac did such a good job with it i owe them my life

— GOING AGAINST TOMMY WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING BTW!!!!! when i finally realized what day i was on and where exactly i was i just... paused the game to rethink my whole life. having told that tommy is one hell of a sniper throughout the first and the second game only to let THE PLAYER go against him.. FOULLLLLL THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLEEEE

and i loved that he was used the same move he literally taught ellie earlier in the game - to shoot against cars to attract the infected and to make the players life even worse:33 thanks tommy:3333

ANDDDDD manny's death...... oh my fucking god. that's just another thing i really love abt the game,, like how easily people die. it only took a second for tommy to pop a bullet into his head and it just happened so fucking fast and you don't really have any time to even think about it bc then you already have to move forward. there's no time to mourn or anything.

— the point of it all being the vicious cycle of violence. the game just fucking hammers down it; ellie vs abby, joel vs the fireflies, the wolves vs the seraphites - it's just retaliation upon retaliation. and in the end abby is the only one who truly breaks out of it

— ellie's iconic quote from the first game "i'm scared of ending up alone" becoming real. she doesn't have joel, she doesn't have dina or jj, doesn't have tommy or jesse either. it's just her and the old, empty house.

— ellie losing the fingers she uses to play the one song joel taught her..................................... she really doesn't have anything, does she?

— THE VISUALSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHH MY FUCKINGG GODD IT'S ALL SOO BEAUTIFULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the overgrown city thing soo so much i think it's just so gorgeous when moss and plants and vines just grow all over everything and the grass is long and wahhh

like aaaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!! this is soo cool!!!!!!!!!! sorry if the quality is fucking garbage but aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i want more games in settings like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— MORE ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flies. you can hear flies flying around before you're about to run into an infected place. and if it's not flies, than it's the stench - ellie makes notice of the bad smell around her yk signaling that there are rotting corpses and stuff laying around

— THE LITTLE SIDE STORIES THAT YOU GET TO READ ABOUT ARE SOOO COOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you find all these papers and letters, all different stories depending on what chapter you're in. you get to read about boris the archer who loses his shit when the wolves kill her daughter, and who ends up locking alive people into a room with spores bc they didn't want to go against the wolves. and then you get to read about a wolf who gets saved by a seraphite, and who ends up actually joining the other side!!!! idk i think they're such an interesting little feature to add to a game

— THE FIRST PROPER ENCOUNTER WITH THE SERAPHITES IS CRAZYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here's a little link bc u really need to experience it okay i can't really put it into words even after playing it a few times that still makes me flinch lmao again

— to go with the point above: i think the horror/thriller aspect and the pacing of the game is just fucking brilliant. you've just gotten out of a fight and are now hoping to catch your breath but then as you're walking through the dark woods, you hear whistles??????? and then a hanging body?????????? but you don't see anyone else and you're just like????????????????????????????? and then the arrow happens and it scares the fuck out of you yay thanks game (affectionate i think the scare is very good i love getting jumped)

— you can find safes with a bunch of goodies in them, and while there is always a piece of paper with the code on it, you can actually just listen for the right clicks and you can open the safe without ever finding said piece of paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOUGHS ABOUT GROUNDED (so far.. i'm more than halfway done with it)

— this is the hardest mode you could play on: there's no hud (you cannot see your health AT ALL and the only way to see how much ammo and stuff you have is when you go to your inventory, meaning that you mostly have to keep count of your bullets on your own)

— there's little to NO loot at all. i've had to go through areas with TWO BULLETS AND A BRICK yeah that wasn't too fun i won't even lie

— idk whether enemies actually have more health but you do have to consider that body shots don't do all that much,, so headshots are crucial

— a single shot can kill you:3 you don't have a big health bar to start with but considering that you're bound to take a hit no matter how stealthily you're trying to play - you're not even at max health for the most of the time.

— YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING PATIENT. at first i thought that running would have to be the way to go in quite a few areas just bc there are so many enemies and so little resources but that does not work. at all. you're very likely spotted (and they can fucking hear you) and most of the doors in the areas need you to kind of push them open? so that takes time too and well yeah if you're spotted that you can't fucking do that lmao

so going in guns blazing is obviously not an option either because you just don't have the ammo for it actually wait if this is coming off as me just sucking at the game by not having any ammo i'll have u know that i am actually doing relatively well i beat my first boss on the first try okay let me be

you have to make use of the few bricks and bottles that you find and you really have to master the Dodge move... smhh fists and knives it is bUT THEN AGAIN IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN GO AGAINST FIVE PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND DOGS WITH A FUCKING KNIFE NOW CAN I anyway i'm fine i'm doing okay actually don't talk to me

— but i am loving it. despite how hard it is at times, i definitely feel proud for even making it this far and i am very happy with how i'm doing. i'm also watching a gameplay on the side and the differences between the way he's playing and the way i'm forced to play are very funny!!!!

— oh!!!!!!!!! and one of my favourite things abt grounded is that you can't use listening mode at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not a fan of it anyway but it does come in handy when you're in an area with a lot of enemies and a lots and lots of cover. not being able to get an understanding where somebody is can definitely be scary lmao i have uhh gotten shot in the head just as i take a corner bc well.. i didn't know... he was... there..... hgasghahgsghahgsahg STILL VERY FUN THOUGH!!!!!

— i'm pretty sure that enemies can also hear you reloading your gun if they're close enough lmao

++ OKOK THIS IT FOR NOW LMAO!!!!!! this felt really really good thank you for reading if you have actually reached the end,, i genuinely love talking about this game and all the small little nuances of it!!!!!!!!!!!! if u ever have any questions about it... or just wanna share ur own thoughts abt it my inbox is always open:333333 LOVE YOUU!!

[nfcv-saltmine]

this article is a fucking disaster but HOOOOOO THERE'S SO MANY THINGS WRONG IN THIS PARTICULAR AREA

Haha, like what? :) The fact that this is proof that they do not give a single shit about anything? :) Other than using pre-existent material to tell their own stories with their own characters? :)

It's funny, actually. This was meant to happen, when you think about it. The first Netflixvania created a legacy of "we know nothing about the source material so we do whatever the fuck we want!". Of course a sequel would follow that legacy... except now, the original show counts as "source material". :) That's what we call karma, guys. ❤️

No more needing a human to practice devil forging, now a machine can do it. Goodbye the devils forged being beasts with the intelligence of a dog, except for ONE fly-guy (wich the capacity to talk and reason is a mystery), and being very very loyal to their creator. Hello devils who can talk and sing and still have their human minds and are designed to be more humanoid and "beautiful" and who's loyalty to their master is feeble (even fly guy was loyal to isaac, but let's be fair, you can hardly be loyal to a fucking machine). Goodbye Morning Star, hello the random whip that we have to pretend is important now. Goodbye "lol crosses confuse vampires that's why it hurts them", hello "actually it DOES hurt them because crosses are holy". And hello... this.

I don't know if they are going to make a "haha your father was so dumb" joke about Alucard's name in the show itself. It wouldn't surprise me, I can easily see Richter say it and Alucard glaring at him in a "god you still think you're funny" way. :) But honestly, whether or not they do it, it doesn't matter. Because this right there... this is the proof that Bradley don't care. This is the proof that he either did not watch the show he's making a sequel for (like Ellis did not play the games or even watched playthroughs of it ❤️), or he did with his brain turned off. Maybe he found Alucard and Trevor's relationship to be so fucking funny all he wants is recreate it in his show. :) Because clearly, that's what we're gonna get. Literally the first thing Alucard did when he appeared at the end of Nocturne was mock the Belmonts. It's only going downhill from here.

Forget about the games being clear about Alucard choosing to go by this name (the FIRST thing you see when you go on his wiki page is his BIRTH NAME.), he didn't need to go this far to realize that... because the fucking show made Alucard HIMSELF state that he's going to go by Alucard now, the "name of his mother's people", to oppose his father!! Every. Single. Nfcv fan knows his name used to be Adrian. BUT THE GUY WHO IS WRITING THE SEQUEL DOESN'T? It is such a CLEAR evidence to me that, just like Ellis for the first show, the writers of Nocturne don't give a shit about the material that came before them. They didn't bother making proper researches and taking notes. They just wanted to tell their stories!! With their characters!! They don't care about the inconsistencies they create in the process.

See, as much as i hate NFCV with a burning passion ❤️ I still would have had more respect for Nocturne if it had followed what had been established by it. Because this far, all it kept from the first show, is: every girl being either a fridge or a #girlboss, Belmonts being awful and jokes to be mocked, Alucard being a cunt to Belmonts, CHURCH BAD theme, and bad, often mean-spirited writing. Oh and "Alucard is the coolest fr fr".

God this is going to be an awful season. I cannot wait to see Alucard and Annette team up to shit on Richter and his trauma.

[gay-mafia-stickball]

This latest episode was heartbreaking in so many way and it gave us a lot to unpack.

For starters, Ellie actually getting to interact with another kid was so amazing and made it even worse when it ended as it did. Also, watching Joel slowly open up quicker and quicker? Fuck, man, it took three episodes for Joel to even acknowledge Ellie as cargo, and within a day of knowing Henry, he’s offering a trip to Wyoming. If that’s not progress, I don’t know what is. I also wanna talk about how powerful it was that they made Sam deaf. Obviously, I didn’t play the games, and I’ve not gotten very far into watching playthroughs on YouTube, but I do know that this was another deviance and they absolutely played their cards right. His deafness was so clearly not a plot device, it was just another aspect of sams character that helps us delve so much deeper into his person and gets us that much more attached. Another person I want to talk about is Kathleen. First off, the casting was literally perfect. She seems like she would be such a soft character, with a very loving face and voice, but then she goes in and murders in cold blood and hunts down her brothers killer, and the audience can hardly disagree with her, can they? It’s such a hauntingly beautiful narrative, and the way it ended was just the only way it could have gone: unfinished. She can’t complete her goal, she can’t complete her sentence, and she’s killed by the very thing that destroyed her in the first place. And then when Henry is forced to kill his own little brother for the sake of Ellie- that was pure poetic cinema. This episode is all about a life for a life, and Henry becomes intimately acquainted with this. Michael’s life for Sams, Sams for Ellie’s, and finally his own.

Tl;dr - episode five was beautiful and I’m crying

[forevergazingatstars]

Today I did something I thought I would never do

I beat The Last of Us Part 2 on grounded mode.

I started playing this game in 2022, about 5 months after I had beaten the first game. Both of these games have always been very close to my heart even before I had the chance to play them.

While I know part 2 is not nearly as beloved in the community as part 1 and, in my honest opinion, I definitely prefer the story of part 1 to part 2. However, ever since I beat part 2 for the first time, I've found myself drawn to it time and time again. I've played through this game on at least 5 separate occasions and spent over 100 hours in it. To put it bluntly, this game feels so good to play.

Maybe going agaist the intentions of the game makers, but shooting people has never felt as good as it feels here. People usually say they hate shooting on controller, but Naughty Dog did a phenomenal job at making the gun play actually feel responsive and good. Like as much as the story makes me want to rip my hair out, there's nothing quite as satisfying as getting to blow peoples heads off afterwards.

Now to get to the point, you might be asking "why'd you say you thought you'd never beat grounded?" to put it in simple terms, I am a level A coward :D just the idea of having to go through this 20 hour game without listening mode terrified me. I do not like dying nor getting spooked by an enemy popping out of nowhere. Also I was convinced that if I ever did make it all the way to the rat king that that would be it and I would be stuck there forever.

Well, what ended up happening was that in April of this year I beat the game on permadeath, which meant I had every single other achievement in the game and I thought "FUCK IT I'M GIVING GROUNDED A TRY" and then I failed miserably.... I ended up not even making it to Abby's section, I got stuck in the mall fight on Ellie day 3 and I just got so incredibly frustrated that I quit.

However, then a couple months passed, and I did have one trick up my sleeve. My first attempt of grounded had been on the normal version, not grounded+. I had wanted to not beat the game on grounded+ just to prove to myself that I could do it without the extra help, but sometimes you have to admit that you need help so again I tried with all my great guns and upgrades.

I will say, my thing about being afraid of not having listening mode proved to not be that much of an issue. The main emotion I felt while playing was not fear, but pure frustration and rage. God this game is so ANNOYING. Like you'd think the gap between survivor and grounded wouldn't be that bad, but it felt like night and day. I kept getting stuck and dying and my main strategy just ended up being to run for my life :D I know grounded isnt even near the hardest gaming challenges and maybe it was just a skill issue but man did I spend hours in some fights not making any progress at all.

Now you might be thinking, what about the rat king? I am happy to say that I BEAT THAT FUCKER FIRST TRY. I wish so badly that I had gotten it on video, because I have never been that locked in during my entire life. It felt like I had become Abby in that moment and I was channeling all my rage into killing that thing. Actually, I struggled wayyyyy more with Ellies bloater fight than the rat king, which was very surprising considering it's the other way around usually.

When I had beaten Abby in the final fight and I was watching the last few cutscenes, I got a bit emotional and teary eyed, which honestly surprised me a lot considering how many times I've played this game. Even during my first playthrough I only cried during the beginning when Ellie was going through Joels home. Maybe I was just happy the suffering would finally be over? I mean I do relate to Ellie on the level that I've also lost my father. Maybe my emotions were heightened because of the struggle and the 6 month journey it took me to get here.

To end this extremely long post I'd just like to say that if you ever think you can't do something, just try it anyway. Even if you end up failing, it's important to challenge yourself and besides, you can always try again. I know beating a video game isnt the coolest thing in the world but I am so proud of myself for not giving up.

[justagalwhowrites]

It’s interesting how people see things so differently. Like with Tommy, to me their wedge isn’t because Joel wanted control to protect Tommy. To me it was because Tommy had a bit of a hero complex and thought joining the fireflies would make him feel like the hero again. (He was a soldier which can say a lot, also the reason he was in jail that night was bc he punched a guy to help a waitress and it also wasn’t his first time in jail either. Joel had to bail him out multiple times.)

Tommy did hate what they had to do to survive and they did have a big fight but he left because he wanted more than “just” survival and Marlene made the fireflies look good, like the good guys. so he joined them. But then he just ended up killing people with the fireflies and once he realised that he left again lol

Seeing as Joel had to bail Tommy out multiple times, it definitely gives you the feeling that Joel had to take care of Tommy a lot. Plus Tommy works for/with him so he took care of him in that way too. Obviously nobody knows because nothing was ever shown but i can imagine Joel did shitty things to make sure his little brother is okay, just like he did for Ellie. Joel does anything for the people he cares about.

Obviously having that thrown in his face and Tommy running off to join a terrorist group is gonna cause a wedge between them.

And then Tommy dropping off the face of the earth, not contacting him again and Joel later finding out he’s been safe and perfectly fine in Jackson? Yeah that’s a slap to the face. There’s definitely ways Tommy could’ve let Joel know that he’s safe and in Jackson but he just didn’t. And then obviously bad talking Joel to Maria while Tommy himself has done terrible things? Tommy didn’t want Joel to be in his life anymore and definitely not in Jackson.

Anyway this is my long Tommy is actually an asshole rant lmao

Also, with Tess. I honestly don’t think Joel wanted to love her. In the game the only indication was that they had some tiny flirty dialogue and that’s it. I know everyone now takes the show as canon but in the game, tess doesn’t even say that “I never asked you to feel like that” or whatever. They survived together, they trusted each other, they were partners and friends. It doesn’t always have to mean or be more than that. obviously the show tried to do some dramatic romance and feelings shit but it just wasn’t there lol

Plus we know Joel didn’t really date much before the world ended either, he was a single dad for Sarahs entire life and heavily focused on work and his daughter. Clearly romance wasn’t a huge part of his life, so why would it be after the end of the world and losing his entire family?

Thanks for coming to my ted talk about unpopular the last of us opinions lmao

Hi Bestie!

I love this interpretation! It's actually not really off from what I think of Tommy, too, actually! I just think his hero complex really clashes with Joel's drive to protect him. I don't think Joel CONSCIOUSLY wants to control Tommy, I just think he feels safest when he has control and/or has a good lock on someone's motivations. Tommy wanting to play hero puts him at risk and I imagine Joel pushed back on that really, really hard quite a bit. But yeah, Tommy just fucking off to Wyoming made me so mad lol (which is part of the reason for the Tommy arc in Lavender) But I think can also be at least partially explained by Tommy and Joel clashing more and more as years went by in the QZ, with Tommy getting more and more pissed off by FEDRA and wanting to lean into his hero instincts and Joel not able to shake the fear of his brother getting himself killed.

I will say, my Joels are definitely a lot more based on show Joel than game Joel! I have watched game playthroughs (I am... very bad at video games lol) but HBO Joel is definitely my man. Though yeah, his relationship with Tess in the game was definitely more ambiguously flirty than an unambiguously romantic relationship of any kind. But I don't think his lack of a romantic life immediately pre-outbreak is a fair indication of what he wants in general. Single fatherhood and working a ton of hours means you're going to limit your social life. He was clearly interested in romantic - or at least sexual - attachment at one time because Sarah exists.

That being said, I certainly don't think he'd show up to the QZ and be like "priority one: find a girlfriend." But I do think it's reasonable that he'd stumble into it eventually, either through a smuggling contact he got closer to than he intended or just a woman he was sleeping with because hey, sex!, that became something more.

This has been so fun! I hope this has shed some light on how I write Joel because I've thought a lot about this stuff over the last year. I love hearing your thoughts, thank you so much for sharing!!

Love you!

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

GODDD YOUR BRAIN. a lot of what you said is stuff ive been thinking about for literal years and esp now with my most recent playthrough of 1 and 2. the video was great and i also found a pdf for orientalism that i will be picking through as i have the time for it. ive had a post in my drafts ive been working on for a few days. specifically about how the crimson raider leadership (excluding moxxi and including the vault hunters) is comprised entirely of corporate settlers and how that still absolutely fuels their ideology when it comes to the bandit clans. tannis, zed, and pierce are all dahl, marcus has been both siding every conflict since the beginning of mankind, and roland and the ENTIRE military force of the crimson raiders (excluding the vhs) are atlas leftovers. and ofc its seen as necessary because there needs to be bodies between them and hyperion so every injustice against the planet is forgiven. its hardly even mentioned. even moxxi, who is pandoran born, profits in just. outright massacring the population with her fighting rings. (the underdome was sponsored by every corporation, including the shield manufacturers.) the desire that the raiders have to protect pandora just feel like protecting the. thirty or so people who live with them because everyone else is seen as not worthy to the point where mass execution and displacement is encouraged. im not going to talk about bl3 because im a bit rustier on it at this point but in FFS thats an issue brought up at the very start of the dlc: the crimson raiders are losing power and arent needed anymore because jack is gone. like they arent doing any great help to the planet. theyre not even wanted by the end of 2. side tangent but the two things that stand out to me the most on first thoughts are: destroying the eridium mine supplying sledges men in one (after already killing him and half the settlement) and doing straight up environmental warfare in 2 when freezing out the bloodshots. its just unnecessary cruelty. im sorry for taking so long to type this out i have. untreated adhd 😔

No no no it's okay speak your mind!!!

Also some additional things I didn't have the place to say in my answer:

One, you could very easily interpret bl1 and particularly bl2 as an extended metaphor for American destabilization and subsequent media treatment of the Middle East. Except Gearbox themselves is parroting the in-universe perception of Pandora as a "barren wasteland where nobody lives", i.e. the myth of terra nullius. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

Two, 2 specifically has an anti-colonialist narrative. Handsome Jack is a colonizer and you oppose him. But within this opposition is a DISTINCT subtext of "yeah he wants to kill off the bandits of Pandora but he also considers the Normal People, like Salvador and your friends to be bandits!", not "bandits are also humans with dignity". I'm not sure if the former is the conclusion the writers want you to arrive at, but it kind of feels like it.

Three, if I remember correctly the first time a tink (xenohuman/mutant) was not presented as part of the subhuman orientalized faction was fucking New Tales. And I think there was one in Debt or Alive as well (including a tongue in cheek joke about how calling your enemies slurs is kinda bad actually). Yet again, either the writers can't comprehend someone disabled in a not-"cool scifi" way being human, or the Borderlands universe has ridiculous amounts of ableism and baseliner supremacist (can you tell I love Rimworld's terminology for this sort of stuff) sentiment. But homophobia isn't real so that's funny haha right guys??????

As for 3... yeah there isn't much there. Ellie tells us that Pandora has been drained of all resources, Tyreen tells us what I already addressed, fucking Vaughn man. I'm sure I could say smth more coherent on all that but I can't rn, brain fried.

Then there's the Looters and Frostbiters and Devil Riders, who for gameplay purposes are reskinned bandits for the DLCs, but they aren't stated to be bandits for... what reason exactly, aside from geographic isolation (all the other bandits across the galaxy are universally homogenized so...)? I mean, frostbiters even associate into clans like bandits do...

And I do highly suggest you read Orientalism, it's a foundational text in post-colonial studies for a reason, but I find that it also applies incredibly well to media analysis :)

[hawkepockets]

everybody loves big pyjamas gale

[insomniamamma]

Ok, some thoughts on episode one of The Last of Us under the cut:

I’m going to preface this by saying i know next to nothing about the game. I’ve seen gifs of it here, but that’s where my knowledge ends. Once Pedro’s casting was announced I decided that I was not going to watch any playthroughs. I wanted to go in with fresh eyes as much as possible. OK. Disclamer done. Here are some thoughts I had in no particular order.

I loved that they showed outbreak day through Sarah’s eyes. She’s just going to school and doing ordinary things. There’s hints around the edges that something is happening, but nothing direct, and I thought this served to crank the tension up to eleven. Sarah is our window into this world, and I love that we only know what she knows.

Also, the sweetness of the relationship between Joel and Sarah and Tommy. They only give us a little but it’s enough to see how much these three care about each other. I love Tommy mooching leftovers out of Joel’s fridge. That’s such a baby brother thing to do.

I love that the focus stays narrow as things inevitably go to shit. The world is coming apart and we see it happening through the windows of Joel’s truck while they’re trying to get out of town.

Even when they abandon the truck the camera is right on Joel and Sarah. IDK I was white knuckled through the first 30 minutes.

As soon as that FEDRA lady started promising that little kid all the toys he wanted to play with I was just like oh no.

The QZ. Yikes.

OK. I’m just gonna take a minute to scream about Pedro Pascal. The difference between how Joel carries himself pre and post breakout is so fucking stark.  I’ve seen several gifsets that show pre and post breakout Joel side by side and the difference in body language is incredible. Pedro can do so much with so little. There’s no need to explain Joel’s grief and withdrawal, it’s etched into every movement and facial expression. The shot of him cradling the dead child the same way he held Sarah and throwing him onto the fire, the absolute lack of emotion. Holy fucking shit. Pedro needs to get all the awards for this show and we’re only one ep in.

Ellie. I’ve had Ellie for one episode and if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. Seriously though. I love this scrappy little girl. What’s the Troubled Bird meme about being 5oz’s of whoop-ass? She is twenty pounds of murder in a ten pound bag and I love her for it. I’m sorry, but when she pops out of that door and tries to stab Joel and he just launches her into the wall? I’ve got to imagine that his first thought was what the actual fuck?

I love her ok? I love her foul mouth, and snark and the fact that she’s the willing to fuck with Joel after knowing him for tens of minutes. I can’t wait to see these two bounce off each other some more.

And Tess. As I said before I know nothing about the games. But I’ll tell you right now that I love this lady. I have a feeling this is going to hurt me later on though. I love the relationship between her and Joel, there’s no I love you type histrionics, it’s all implied.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll probably post more nonsense as it occurs to me.

[write-and-buried]

I'm thrilled that you're enjoying all of us spiraling down the tlou rabbit hole but also-- may we hear your thots ? 👀👀

FUCK YES

So, spoiler free. After i finished the episode i went grocery shopping and accidentally bought fifty bucks worth of comfort cheese.

TLOU SPOILERS (EPISODE ONE & GAME) BELOW THE CUT

OK, In no particular order;

The way they introduced the concept of a fungal pandemic was amazing, the absolute dread that opener inspired was absolutely amazing, and I really commend them for adding that little bit of world building.

Speaking of dread - the way we just follow Sarah about her day, the little hints of the world rapidly going to hell around them with her being an innocent child who is none the wiser, was amazing. The old lady twitching out of focus in the background was hella effective.

Oh god. Joel & Sarah. Their relationship is perfect. The way they caught this sliver of one day of their lives and you already know so much about them, that Sarah has definitely been raised in a loving environment, feels comfortable and safe with her dad, and that they are extremely close. It's magnificent.

Im gonna jump around a little here, but the bookend deaths in this episode were EXTREMELY effective. Joel killing his neighbour with a wrench out of necessity, the way Sarah reacts (reasonably and terrified) and almost looks at her dad differently. Ellie, who watches Joel brutally murder someone with his bare hands, which it could be argued he didnt have to do (this guy could have been bribed) and she looks like she trusts him more.

TESS!! Oh god. TBH I never really paid her much attention on my playthroughs, but MAN they did us a favour by fleshing her out - the softness and intimacy she displays with Joel, the sarcasm.

THAT scene; I knew it was coming. I knew I would cry. I didnt know id cry so hard id have to pause the show, get up and have a cigarette to calm down.

ELLIE;

Bella Ramsey is perfect in this role. They have such a command of the character, the sarcasm, you already get the feeling that she knows she is alone in the world, and is trying to hide it as best she can. But Ellie is just a kid.

The scene of her immediately getting yeeted into a wall was absurdly funny and shouldnt have made me laugh.

She places her trust in strength, and that's going to come back in Winter.

JOEL;

Oh god Joel.

Lets talk about two BIG changes they have made, right off the bat. He is more sympathetic, and more unhinged.

The drugs, was a surprising choice, but one that makes complete sense. He is truly a wounded animal, medicating and lashing out at any given opportunity.

I love that they have him as Tess's attack dog - because thats exactly what he is. A German Shepherd with PTSD.

His blunt, dont give a fuck attitude is absolutely spot on, and the way he carries himself, single minded and focused is so spot on.

THEY HAD NO RIGHT FOR OUR FIRST SHOT TO BE OF A SHIRTLESS SNUGGLER - THAT WAS RUDE AS FUCK

LETS GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY - ALWAYS KEEP HIM WET. THE SLICK BACK HAIR, THE WHORE STANCE, THE ABSOLUTE FERAL LOOK OF RAGE ON HIS FACE, I AM DESPERATE TO FUCK THIS MAN.

POSTCARDS;

RATION CARDS AND PUBLIC EXECUTIONS THAT'S WHERE MY BABIES LIVED I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

In short, I loved it. I thought it was a wonderful first episode, with enough nods to the game for people who have played it, without leaving those who havent completely in the dark.

[redux-iterum]

not related to warriors or the redux at ALL but i would absolutely LOVE to hear your thoughts on the last of us if you were willing to share!! honestly i don't think i could've ever asked for a better video game adaptation, i shudder to think what the original movie back in, like, 2015 would've looked like

I am very glad you've given me this opportunity. Thoughts under the cut.

So I just gotta say, up front, the story in the game is magnificent. It totally earned its place of being held up as one of the best stories in gaming history. Several scenes still make me wanna weep (I even hear someone say "baby girl" and my heart has a knife-wound immediately). When I heard they were making a show, I was very afraid - I don't think it's controversial to say that games being made into shows or movies just don't work out at all, ever. The Last of Us, the game, is especially one that, if you ruin it, you have fucked yourself over harder than the dudes behind the final season of GoT. I thought that you will never win over people no matter how good the show is, because the game is just so much better.

BOY AND FUCKING HOWDY WAS I WRONG

This fucking show! Is so good! Its version of the story, dare I say, is better than the game! I don't know how they fucking did that. It seems an impossibility. But their additions and translations and pacing are incredible! I'm watching a playthrough of the game right now for the story to compare, and I'm boggled to realize I prefer how the show did darn near everything! These goddamn writers made me care about Bill! How the fuck is that possible!?

They did make changes, but I love all of them. Especially when it comes to characterization. This Joel, I absolutely adore. Which, I wanna go into that real quick, because the comparisons between the two versions interest me greatly:

Joel in the video game was, to me, characterized as he plays in the game - that is, an unstoppable monster that the NPCs should be and are terrified of, because he can and will kill everyone to make things more convenient for himself. He gets stabbed in the gut and as soon as he gets one dose of antibiotics he hobbles out into the snow and the enemies run away from him; the protagonist equivalent of a boss fight just arrived, and they are not going to fucking engage. He is grumpy and stoic and terrifying, and it takes a long time to get through to his actual humanity, what little he has left.

That characterization works very well for a game, but the show is not a game. It needs a human being to be the protagonist. No one is going to support game!Joel in a TV show. So they softened him and dented his iron wall a good amount, and I love that. He's a person - he's old enough to have bad knees, his hearing is failing, he damn near weeps telling his brother about his desperation to keep Ellie safe - and what a compelling person he is. I loved him already, but the instant he started giggling over a stupid pun Ellie made, he beat out game!Joel by a wide margin for me. I just adore this version. He's a human being, not a playable character. It's perfect.

On another note, it is INCREDIBLE that I know everything that's going to happen in this show - I have watched multiple people do multiple playthroughs of the first game, I know this shit backwards and forwards - and their little adaptive flairs still make me wanna cry. Sam and Henry in particular killed me (I'll talk about that some other time because this is long enough), and even all these new characters that they made for the show have me so invested that, whether or not I can guess where they're going, I'm desperately hoping for a peaceful end for them. I will say that the scene that I cry at every time (the end of Ellie's confrontation with David) was probably the only thing I didn't find to be better than the game, but it still hurt and I am happy for that.

I have a lot more thoughts, but this shit is a textwall now, so I'll leave it at this: 123/10, will cry again.

[otometrashqueen]

The Last of Us Part 1 and 2 Musings *Spoilers abound*

I finished up watching playthroughs of The Last of Us Part 1 & 2 this week and holy hell! SO good. So many feels.

I totally sympathize with Joel for not wanting to lose Ellie, but I also understand that Ellie felt robbed of her purpose for not dying in order to create a cure.

But honestly, what were the odds that her death would actually result in a vaccine?? She would die and they would have a starting place for immunity maybe? or understand how Ellie developed her immunity perhaps, but I feel like it would have taken more than just Ellie's sacrifice to develop a cure. I could definitely be wrong, but those are my thoughts. SO I'm probably more in the Joel camp as far as the ending of Part 1 goes.

Part 2 was, wow, A LOT. There is so much unpack there.

I was glad that Ellie eventually found out the truth and Joel was finally honest with her.

Joel teaching Ellie to play guitar was everything.

Also, Ellie having her own place and space was really good to me. I assumed that she would stay with Joel, but I liked that she had her own independence, but Joel was always close by if needed.

I liked that Joel was finally living near Tommy, I have a special relationship with my brothers, and we live pretty separated from each other so I liked that Joel got to have his brother nearby finally.

It seemed that Joel was more at peace in Jackson, for all the terrible things he did, he's our special boi and it was nice to seem him looking a little more relaxed and play the dad role to Ellie, whether she wanted him to or not.

LOOK AT HIM, HE DESERVES EVERYTHING <33

AND THEN THEY KILLED MY BOI :((((

I honestly was so shocked, that even when the next scene happened and Tommy comes to see Ellie. I was like, "Oh ok this where he says Joel is in a coma or something." BUT NOPE. T.T

It was a great and terrible thing that they did. A really bold piece of story telling and much respect for that, but I was screaming at the screen much like Ellie here.

This beautiful, flawed man, I was so upset, like for a whole day I was mad about it. I moved onto acceptance and I was very satisfied that Ellie hunted them down one by one.

Tommy going by himself before Ellie and Dina was dumb, especially after he had tried to talk Ellie out of it. The girls were going regardless of what anyone said. Tommy should have owned up to that and they could have helped taken care of each other especially having a singulair purpose to avenge Joel's murder.

What's incredible about this game is that it made me not care about the group that came after Joel, they killed my post apocalypse father, a daddy if you will. You don't mess with my daddies >:)

I found satisfaction in each of their deaths, even when we were forced to switch perspective to Abby, which I hated BTW, I HATED IT, but that's why it was so good right?! But even then, and I'll probably get in trouble for this, but I really didn't care when Owen and Mel died, I know, I'm a terrible person, but like fuck them for real. Fuck that stupid love triangle with Abby and Mel and Owen. I didn't care. I was too invested in Ellie, even though her story mirrored Abby's a bit.

I had mixed feelings about the ending as many did. I think Ellie should have either stayed with Dina or finish her revenge journey. The fact that she settled down just to pick up Abby's trail again later seemed a little wishy washy to me well then when she found Abby, she couldn't finish the job and lost her guitar playing fingers in the process.

So she had effectively lost Dina for nothing and did not avenge Joel and lost her only means of connecting with him, the guitar.

Now I can see her returning to Jackson to look for Dina, if she's even there, effectively leaving behind Joel's guitar and her revenge. And Dina could take her back, but like they what's the point of her going back after Abby???

Just to let her go, which at that point I was ok with because she had Lev and I was more invested in the Lev than Abby and I wanted Lev to survive for real.

What I was hoping was maybe Abby and Lev convincing Ellie to go with them to the Fireflies and maybe devise a way to find a cure that DOESN'T murder Ellie, if that's even possible. She fulfills her purpose, doesn't die which also preserves what Joel did to keep her alive and Ellie breaks the cycle of revenge. It would have made her losing Dina still shitty, but make more sense.

Ah well, what the hell do I know? It was a great and terrible journey and I'm happy I made it through. It makes me even more excited for what the show is going to come up for us. :)))))

Me too Joel, me too <333

[moon-ursidae]

ALRIGHT YA’LL KNOW THE DRILL HERE

there will be spoilers for all of the last of us part 1 and all of the last of us part 2 under the cut!!

i’ll be sharing my notes and thoughts as i play each session!!

again SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT SELECT READ MORE

PLAY SESSION 1 (i am horrified)

i just want to start by saying that i already know a decent amount about this game. i never thought that i, myself, would be playing these games, so i watched playthroughs when they first came out. since then, spoilers have been plastered all over the internet. so. yknow. i’m aware of what i’m getting myself into. ANYWAY to the session log!

total play time: 6 and a half hours

HERE WE GO YA’LL

i haven’t opened the game yet AHH

i know the music is gonna ruin me

my heart is beating so fast

i’m configuring settings and i hear water oh god

FUCK IT’S THE BOAT

AHHHH

OKAY THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

I HIT START AHHHHH

C H I L L S down my body just seeing the neck of the fucking guitar

i’m already tearing up from joel telling the story to tommy

THAT’S PEDRO PASCAL

THAT IS PEDRO PASCAL BITCH

IN THE CAR WHEN HE LOOKS TO THE SIDE BC ELLIE STARTED STIRRING AWAKE??

THAT IS JUST AN OLDER PEDRO BRO

ANYWAY sorry i just understand very much why they offered him this role

STOP THE CUT TO THE LAST CUTSCENE WHEN THE FIRST GAME ENDS I’M CRYING

AND THE MUSIC

FUCK YOU

this looks fucking amazing.

the fucking music. GUSTAVO. GENIUS BRO.

this is fucking gorgeous. i am taking my fuckin T I M E

STARRING ASHLEY JOHNSON TROY BAKER AND LAURA BAILEY I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

WOOOO

THAT SHOT?? HIM WALKIN INTO TOWN?? JESUS F U C K

ARE WE ALREADY AT THE FUTURE DAYS CUTSCENE????

omg omg she’s listening to the song she sings in the trailer i think A H H

and the bandages on her arm where her scar is 🥺

the way that joel tucks his shirt in now omg such a dad

THE SAVAGE STARLIGHT POSTER🥹

THE STANCE™️

THE WAY THAT MY DAD DOES THIS SAME FUCKING THING WHERE HE’LL GO TO TELL ME A JOKE HE HEARD AND FORGOT IT

I’M GONNA C R Y LATER

HIS AWKWARD LIL STEPS TO THE DOOR TO GET THE GUITAR STOP

“you wanna hear sumn” JOEL PLEASE I’M GONNA SOB

troy has such a nice voice! and also to voice act while singing simultaneously?? crazy

THEY ARE SO-

UUGGGHHHHHH🥺🥺🥺

it’s always in the prologue that they showcase Joel being a dad and i’m like damn this is how me and my dad are and they’re like “would be a shame if something bad happened” and i SOB

“you kissed dina?” TEA

THE WAY SHE’S LIKE 😶

okay i already very much like jesse he seems like such a nice guy!

again i know what happens just let me have this goddamnit

ELLIE HAS A PS3 THAT’S WHAT’S UP BRO WHAT GAMES YOU GOT??

JAK AND DAXTER SLAY

UNCHARTED 1 & 2 SLAY

this taylor guitar is gorgeous bro AH

the pictures on her corkboard above the bed🥺

i wish we got to see and know more about cat she looks like a cool ass character

is that the toy she stole for sam?? i thought she left that at his grave? so it may be a new one to remember him by? i dunno

DINNER BREAK BEFORE I CONTINUE

okayyyy to the outside… where it’s snowing…. and ellie is wearing this outfit…

and joel and tommy are out scouting…

FUCK

i love how slowly through the environment it tells you how jackson survives. through community. it’s gorgeous worldbuilding.

FIRST CARD HELL YEA

IS THAT BUCKLEY??? AHHHH

AND GUSTAVO!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

HE’S PLAYING A VERSION OF THE LAST OF US THEME AHHHHHHH

I HEAR MARISHA RAY AND MATT MERCER?? AHHHHHHH CRITICAL ROLE CAST COME THROOUUUGGGHHHH

it’s also really wonderful to see kids being kids during this. especially for their age. they’re too young to deal with the bullshit that comes along with an apocalypse world

PEOPLE ARE SHIT TALKING ELLIE BRO THEY LITERALLY STARTING HUSHING EACH OTHER AS I APPROACHED LMAOOOOO

there are so many people at the bar at fucking 6:30am ya’ll

“i don’t wanna hear what that bigot has to say” as you fucking should ellie

also maria is so pretty!!!!

and dina is patroling w ellie?

sooooo many great signs here 🥲

“bigot sandwiches” SHE’S SO FUNNY

CARD #2 BRO YEEEAAAA

“we’re fine” BC THEY HAD THE TALK ON THE PORCH AND 😭😭😭😭😭😭

DIIIINNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

“i’m not even playing!” THERE SHE IS FERAL ELLIE

“i hate this kid so much” okay and i love ellie

“you wanna fuck em up?” THEY’RE SO MADE FOR EACH OTHER YOU’RE JOKING

THE SNOWBALL FIGHT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE AHHHHH

DINA IS SO GOOD W KIDS 🥹

THE SPARKLES IN THE SNOW?? GODDAMN

DO I HEAR KHARY PAYTON AT THESE STABLES??

they even included the detail of farriers dude there is someone cleaning this horse’s hoof

AND YURI LOWENTHAL WOOOOOO

shimmer acquired ✅

I DON’T WANNA LEAVE JACKSON DUDE

and the music seems so ominous like HSKAHSKAHSOS

FUCK IT’S THE CABIN

I SAW MEL

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS EARLY?????

PLAYING AS HER?? THIS EARLY???

THE FABRIC ANIMATION ON HER SLEEPING BAG??? INSANE

listen i have nothing but raging and wholesome love for laura bailey but this one is gonna be difficult

her performance is phenomenal don’t get me wrong. this is just gonna be hard

THIS EARLY??

also they all start exiting a garage

joel rode the horse out of the garage

ellie lives in a remodeled garage/shed

and abby walks out of the garage w owen

idk if that’s a connection at all but just something i noticed i guess

owen also gives me weird vibes idk

this feels wrong being on the stick as abby

yooooooo that’s a really cool camera trick to convey her perception of heights and her fear

the snow and scenery look fucking gorgeous oh my god

FUCK of course he wanted to show her JACKSON

FUCKIN HELL

AND OF COURSE HE SAW JOEL AND TOMMY GO ON PATROL

MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

“assuming he’s in there, how do we get to him?”

I KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT AND I’M SICK TO MY FUCKING STOMACH

AND NOW I HAVE TO LEAD HER TO JOEL???

F U C K DUDE I’M KAVSKABSKSH

i genuinely am so fucking anxious dude

like my hands are sweating and my stomach is turning over and i’m gonna vom bro

this is ALOT of dead folks oh my god

DODGE?? fuck yea

OH MY GOD THE WAY SHE STOMPED ITS HEAD AHHHH

this game is definitely more brutal damn

GOD THE INFECTED ARE SO MUCH SCARIER

“where’s the patrol?” NO WHERE. LONG GONE. SOOOOOOOOO GONE.

ellie and dina are so cute together

THE BONG💀

honestly eugene sounded pretty fuckin awesome i would wanna go out like him too

GOD I LOVE SNOWY ENVIRONMENTS

“i was thinking of inviting joel over for a movie” i- wh- 😭😭😭😭😭

cheesy 80s action movies??? MY KIND OF GUY BRO!

ALSO PLEASE NAUGHTY DOG STOP GIVING HIM MORE HUMANITYYYY AND GRAVITAS IT HUURTS

“you wanna meet up after?” “uhh.. okay. i’ll play guitar for you.” ELLIEEEEEEEEEE I SEE YOU

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

i was wondering when we would see infected

dina worried about ellie dying bc of infection and ellie’s like “deal.” 😶

oh shit this storm is picking up HELLA

EUGENE WAS A FIREFLY

i wish so badly for them to go more into joel and tommy’s time after outbreak day jfc

ANUTHA CARD

ANUTHA PS3

damn i wish we had a ps3 in the library

i love the new weapons upgrade system

like you physically see the gun change and add shit onto it

so dope

DAMN! eugene had WEED bro

but this also means….

it’s super close now..

“smash bradi’s cooch” BRO NOT THE PLAY ON NAUGHTY DOG GAME TITLES

omg plz the way she breaks the joint jar

THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I MEANT TO LOOK AT BEFORE THIS CUTSCENE GODDAMNIT

their chemistry is CRAZZYYYYY dude i feel like i’m intruding on their time

THE WAY ELLIE LOOKS AT HEEERRRRRRR

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHERRRRRRRR

THE WAY SHE FLICKS THE JOINT AND GRABS HER FACE WAS SMOOOOOOTH AS FUCK

oh no. ohhhhh no. i am now abby. oh fuck.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

A HORDE???? THIS IS HORRIFYING OH MY GOD

THE FENCE IS GONNA CRUSH MEEEEEEEEE

i have to pause. it’s joel. i-

FUUUUUCK

FUCK. HER REACTION WHEN TOMMY TELLS HER ITS JOEL. FUCK.

LAURA BAILEY IS SO GOOD

AND THE WAY HER VOICE GETS SHAKY?

LAUUURRRRAAAAAAAAAA

TELLING THEM WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE AND THAT’S GONNA LEAD THEM TO THE CABIN AND FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MAN.

GOOODDD LAURA’S ACTING. JESUS.

AND THEN CUT TO ELLIE AND DINA AHHH

WAIT I THOUGHT SHE TOLD DINA SHE WAS IMMUNE LATER???? IS SHE GOING TO RN??

SHE IS. OH MY GOD.

i’m lowkey glad she doesn’t believe it

“tommy and joel didn’t show up”

NOT PREPARED

FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE INSIDE THE HOUSE NOW

i literally feel sick to my stomach i’m so worried for him and tommy and ellie bro

tommy’s being so nice to them offering them supplies and everything too GOOOOODDDDDD

FUUUUUCK THE WAY THEY ALL LOOK UP AT HIM WHEN HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS JOEL

FUUUUUCK THE SHOTGUN

when i tell you that i am so close to losing my dinner i am not joking

THE EMOTION IN HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKED AT ELLIE

HE LOOKED SO TIRED BUT SO SCARED FOR ELLIE

i am pausing. jesus fucking christ. (stopped for a good while here bc obvious reasons)

it hurts me knowing that ellie didn’t even have the strength to even stand up when dina found her and joel and tommy.

tommy coming to check on her😭

she looks about as bad as i do rn

my poor sweet ellie🥺

tommy’s so awkward bc he’s probably like “does joel want me to treat her like a daughter? do i carry on what he started? do i try to forge this relationship with her?” and struggling to tell ellie that they may not be able to afford going to seattle if it means that ALL of jackson would be vulnerable. bc he doesn’t like it either. he wants to go for abby too.

FUCK man.

THE HUG.

F U C K

THE HEADSTONE STOP

the lil chair and wind chimes outside🥹

all the flowers out front??????

he really had an impact on jackson🥺

her hand shaking at the door FUCK

HE HAD A COWBOY HAAATTTT😭😭😭😭

HIS OWL MUG 😭

IS THIS PAGE OF HER JOURNAL WET WITH TEARS?? AND/ OR TEAR STAINED???

THE MUSEUM PAMPHLET A H H

her drawing of him oh my god i’m C R Y I N G

you can tell he loved her so much. there’s pieces of her all over the house.

HE NEVER FINISHED HIS CARPENTRY PROJECT

THE MIRROR IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM IS OFF THE WALL AND COVERED. JOEEELLLL.😭😭😭😭😭

it looks broken as well. maybe i’m reading too much into it. maybe not

THE PICTURE OF HIM AND SARAH IN A WHITE FUCKING FRAME I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

AND A PICTURE OF HIM AND ELLIE NEXT TO IT

no one look at me. no one talk to me. no one perceive me. oh my fucking god.

his jacket and how ellie just stays there. oh my god.

THE WATCH.

THE MUSIC.

I’M FUCKING DONE DUDE.

is that his fucking shirt from the night he lost sarah. i fuckin-

NAUGHTY DOOOOGGGGGGGG

the idiots guide to space book and readers on the bedside table😭😭 SO HE COULD TALK TO ELLIE ABOUT SPAAAACE

bless maria’s heart dude. i love her

SEATTLE DAY 1

omg she’s telling dina the story about the hunter that tried to drown joel in the hotel

alright i’m stopping here before going forward bc i’m fucking exhausted emotionally and physically haha

jesus fucking christ is how i would summarize that first session. jesus fucking christ.