#elf defense

[hypvalsqr]

i have very conflicting thoughts on elves.

[undertalehuman]

elf defense

just passed some self defense training place and there was a sign that said "self defense" but the s was scratched out so it said "elf defense" and now i’m just imagining an elf doing karate. maybe if i get some motivation and figure out how to draw people i might draw this

[coveredinsun]

i’ve seen gimleaf fics where they each try to find out how to court by the other’s traditions. and i love those, so i think they ought to be taken a step further. and i think the way to do that would be, naturally, to make bagginshield real. allow me to explain why. ahem. after the ring is destroyed, girlfailure legolas spends two weeks poring over The Ancient Texts and stressing because his one (1) friend who WOULD help him (that’s aragorn) knows jack shit about dwarves beyond the surface (no pun intended) (well gandalf knows things but gandalf is a bitch) (he would just smile at legolas knowingly and wish him good luck instead of giving him answers).

so alas, girlfailure “shit tier ass elf” legolas is left to like, idk, sulk or something in the garden he starts at the Bestie Residence in minas tirith. and after like 2 days sam’s had enough he’s like “dude your vibes are upsetting the plants.” and legolas is like “my bad bro. it just seems i know nothing about dwarves which i probably should’ve thought about before, by elf standards, getting hitched in vegas.” and sam is like “oh dwarves? just ask mister frodo ^_^ he knows tons about dwarves!” and legolas is like “what the shit? him in particular? why does he anything about dwarves?” and sam leans in reaaaalllllll close and whispers behind his hand, “well you see mister elf, mister legolas, sir, there’s always been a very healthy amount of rumors that go around in the shire about mister frodo’s uncle, mister bilbo, and the letters he used to exchange with a certain king under the mountain.” and legolas, who was THERE, is like

[candilee-joestar]

No shirt Sunday, sweaty dragoon time

[dark-elf-writes]

I would say about 80% of my time playing inquisition is spent trying to brute force my way up a cliff when the gentle incline that will take me to the top is about twenty feet to my right

[breadedsinner]

People in the tags saying they understand why dwarves are less popular like what is like to be such a coward.

[littlegalerion]

As a homesteader, I can say 100% Halsin needs some serious help. He is all about "nature has a balance, where all are cared for", meanwhile here I am, having to pull two drakes off one lady duck because, by nature, both will attempt to breed her as roughly as possible, even if it ends up injuring/killing her.

Also, by nature, my chickens have a strict pecking order. A good few get bullied as they are the lowest in the order. I attempted to introduce some young ladies to my less than a foot tall Sebright Rooster, and he was brutal with the bullying. I had to pull them out, he was so bad.

Nature is not a beautiful, idealistic lifestyle. It is survival of the fittest.

Perhaps Halsin needs to seriously rethink civilizations' role in nature. That we, as people of all races, differ from animals in that we can choose to rise above our basic desires and urges if we so choose. Chaotic change is normal among the wilds, but we can actually bring good change, despite however much evil is in the world.

That is our role.

[asstariontrash]

Tav Tag!

Inspired by @inaconstantstateofchange's entry -- big thanks to them for gently motivating me and also to @triumphingmybest for the very cool template!

I want to draw my Tav & talk about them more on this blog, but I wanted to introduce them properly first. Meet Hemlock, my godless Oathbreaker paladin who's nevertheless trying his best all the time:

I've been using #tav/astarion and #tav: hemlock on this blog to tag things that especially remind me of them, so if you're interested in more Hemlock vibes, give that a peek.

You can find a blank Tav Tag template here!

I am very shy but very eager to perceive other people's characters. Tagging @beaubambabey & @jellymellydraws in the softest, lowest-pressure way imaginable, and YOU, if you're reading this and would like to talk about your Tav too!

(also please behold my redemption Durge under the cut, because this was getting long:)

I drew Century already over here! Their tag is #durge: century. It was important to me that they be Very Pathetic At All Times; never more than 30 seconds away from dissolving into tears.

Hemlock is also a mess and also about two steps away from a nervous breakdown for most of the game, but at least he hides it better. He's just starting to crack, whereas Century has already been smashed to smithereens, you feel? (Astarion gets his teeth into both of them, for better or worse...)

I just really like characters who're in the midst of a faith/personal identity crisis, it fuels me.

[bloodsoaked-rainbows]

...

If that child in F.R.I.D.A.'s dream was fucking Ludinus I'm going to scream.

[orcelito]

So the funny thing about my veilguard game is that I'm almost definitely overleveled. I just went and fought the blighted dragons in the wetlands, and... eh. Before this id already fought and killed the revenant dragon in the crossroads, which was a bit of a challenge. I even needed to use 2 potions for it. But I still killed it no problem. The wetlands blighted dragons were pretty easy in comparison.... though I Will say, fighting *two* dragons at once was a fun, unexpected surprise. Kept me on my toes a bit!! I still didn't need to use any of my potions, though

[iwishiwereapigeon]

i really wanna aim for a cute styro tonight

[majorasnightmare]

zevlor when he learns that the only reason the entire grove didnt get slaughtered is because an onfire tiefling girl made a frownie face at the assassin he paid to kill kagha: 👁️_👁️

[tidalruush]

When I was younger I used to wake up and make sure that I didn't have pointed ears for some fucking reason

[modern-inheritance]

Debrief, Snippet #3 (no edits) (Back to Valaria)

“That is not an answer to my question, ma’am.” Arya’s eyes flashed and narrowed, only for the briefest of moments. It was time to light the fires again, remind these highborn fools who they dealt with. “And my rank is Major. I would appreciate that my accomplishments be properly acknowledged.”

The amusement vanished from Valaria’s face, cool frost replacing it in her voice. “No, Major. I do not seek to imply that you are, as you put it, a whore.”

“Then why this line of inquiry?” Arya flicked her gaze to Däthedr. “It has no relevance to the matters at hand. I raise a formal objection.”

Still. Still. Islanzadí did not look up from her notes. “Lady Valaria, your reasoning?” The queen scrawled something in the margins, shuffled the page to the back. 

“It speaks to the Major’s state of mind during the mission, and the cohesion of the unit. If there were unrecognized or unclaimed relationships, physical or otherwise, between members of the guard and the Major, it stands to reason that it could have opened the door to jealousy and distraction.” Valaria casually swooped a fringe of her hair behind her ear, eyes flashing with the barest trace of triumph. “The Major has a…history, of acting rashly in some situations, most frequently when members of her guard or the…other members of her Varden squads were involved–”

The words left her mouth before Arya could stop them, sharp and hot and spitfire. “That sure sounds a lot like you’re implying I’ve whored my way through the Varden, Lady–” 

“Major!” Däthedr’s staff cracked loud on the roots, his voice amplified to drown out whatever came next. “Restrain yourself.” Arya snapped her teeth shut with a harsh click, fully aware of the unfortunate timing of her slip. Bored her eyes through Valaria’s forehead and tried to ignore the smirk on the woman’s lips. “Lady Valaria, please continue.”

She bowed her head in the man’s direction. “Thank you, Lord Däthedr.” She returned her gaze to the young elf before them. “As I was saying, the Major has a long history of outbursts that frequently occur when it involves members of her guard or members of her Varden squads. It is no small stretch, then, to be concerned of the consequences such relations could have should they have been occurring during these courier missions. It should be known if they were a factor.” 

Again, uneasy silence fell. Arya refused to look away from Valaria, that infuriatingly smug look glimmering through the mask. She heard Izlanzadí put aside her pen, a soft shuffle of something else being placed on the desk. Another moment of contemplation.

“Your reasoning is valid.” The queen’s voice was neutral. “Objection overruled.” 

Arya glared up at the elf lord, for a handful of seconds dropping all pretense of polite and proper decorum her infuriating culture required. For that time she let Valaria see the fire in her eyes, the raise of her lip and the bared ancestral dragon’s teeth that replaced the dull canines and premolars that most elves sang forth instead of their natural weapons. 

Let this woman see the face of defiance, of fury, that Durza saw. 

Victory in defeat. Lady Valaria of House Teorann, lord of the city of Kirtan, took a minuscule step back from the wild child prodigal daughter of Du Weldenvarden before she could smother her reaction, her own eyes flaring wide for the briefest moment before she pulled down the mask again.

[dark-elf-writes]

Help I started the Kane Chronicles and poor Carter being stuck with a passive aggressive god in his head is so fucking funny.

[invinciblerodent]

I appear to have no midpoint between "writes nothing for five years" and "writes 23 pages within like two hours".