#either way just VOTE for god’s sake
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lazarus-lazuli · 3 months ago
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it IS very disheartening to have to rehash all the same arguments we had in 2016. the only differences between 2024 and 2016 are 1) kamala is objectively a better candidate than hillary ever was (or biden for that matter but that’s neither here nor there) and 2) we have actual precedent now for how bad a trump presidency is PLUS a whole handbook of the shit his supporters want to kickstart once he’s in office.
there is very much a fascist movement in the united states rn and it’s gonna take a couple of decades to stomp out. because of that, in the meantime the presidential elections are gonna suck and be more about damage control than anything. but even if you’re understandably frustrated with the state of our political system it’s better to go vote for president so you can also support whatever good candidates and policies that are on your respective state’s ballot. it’s a much better option rotting away in your anger and guilt over being a citizen of an imperialist nation as if that’s a meaningful protest against the status quo.
and if your main concern is the us aiding israel’s continued ethnic cleansing of palestine you can go to a harris-walz rally and/or the upcoming DNC and protest your ass off. she already publicly announced her support of a ceasefire deal BECAUSE she kept getting heckled by pro-palestine protestors. unlike trump, harris is not a president who would be impossible to work with when it comes to left wing goals.
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redbuddi · 21 days ago
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okay but fr americans.... vote. like obv it is not and should not be the only vehicle through which to enact change, but it is still a way to move the needle a little bit. im genuinely concerned how many ppl are writing off the idea of voting entirely, not only specifically because of this election, but also because just philosophically speaking its not good to completely forego a tool for change just because it isnt as powerful as it should be. and thats what it is: a tool, and one of many.
if kamala gets into office a lot of people will still be hurt, but if trump gets into office even more people will be hurt on top of that! "oh so youll vote for someone who causes hurt?" well what else am I supposed to do? vote for the brain worms guy? not voting isnt going to help anybody, itll just hurt more people than could have been. obviously its a bad system. obviously it should be better. and obviously it should not be the only vehicle one considers to make an impact. but it still matters. kamala might not be perfect but for gods sake dont forget about project 2025 and the people who will be caught up in that! me and my friends and my family will all be affected. queer people, people of color, disabled people, and every other possible kind of marginalized group will be caught up in that. the system is broken and needs to change and we should continue to fight to change it, but until we get to that day when everyone is treated fairly we cant just forfeit our ability to enact change, no matter how small and incremental. i cannot emphasize enough that you have everything to lose by choosing to not vote.
and for those who still dont agree, those who think there's something up with my encouraging people to vote, i get it. i get why youre angry and you have every right to be. but i need you to ask yourself this: "will choosing not to vote do any good?" because if it doesnt matter either way people might as well vote just in case. a 0.000001 chance of changing anything is still better than complete zero, after all. and with so many lives on the line, why would you want people to give up that chance?
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etz-ashashiyot · 5 months ago
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I'm sorry, but actually I'm not over that comment whining about how several of the JVP ritual, uh, practices and bastardization of Judaism are being excluded and how we can't police people's identities.
Actually yes we absolutely can.
[Rant incoming]
Listen, I hate exclusion, alright? Inclusion is always the answer when it comes to people knowing who they are. Every obnoxious identity policing thing in the queer community that has divided us and ripped apart communities has been cruel, counterproductive, given platform to bigots, a distraction from the real issues bearing down on us, and honestly just dumb as a box of rocks. Okay? Okay.
But Jewish identity works differently, because it isn't about YOU. Becoming Jewish is about taking on Jewish culture and religion, a closed ethnoreligious culture, through the narrow path consented to by the collective Jewish people. There IS a path, but it is a highly supervised one. Otherwise it's just appropriation and cultural theft; something Jews have been subjected to for millennia. And if you do legitimately convert you do so because you love the Jewish people - the whole Jewish people - and want passionately to be a Jew for its own sake. You want to join our nation-tribe. You want to join our family.
And the crazy thing to me, the thing that still blows my mind, is that this is allowed! Even after millennia of appropriation, oppression, violence, expulsions, and genocides, Am Yisrael still accepts genuine gerim. It would be so understandable if they had closed the path entirely and tried to shut out outsiders who might bring in danger on their heels even if they themselves were not dangerous.
But they didn't. We didn't. To me this is a miracle, a blessing, and sign of true faith and hope. It is a privilege to be here.
Yet in the same turn, you gotta respect the process! You can't just declare yourself a Jew simply because you feel like it — it doesn't work like that. You can't just declare yourself an Argentinian one morning either without becoming a citizen first, even if you have Argentinian ancestry. And sure, if you do have some of that ancestry, you are connected to the nation, but that's different from being given a vote y'know?
Using a totally unsupervised, totally unsanctioned, brand-new neo-pagan ritual to unilaterally declare your membership in a tribe does not make you one of us. If anything, it proves why you never will be.
Now! Let's assume for a moment that we are referring only to the provably halachic Jews whose connection and backgrounds are beyond reasonable questioning.
You can never really leave the tribe, but you absolutely can apostasize. Plenty of Jews do it. There are plenty of Jews who find that Judaism is not spiritually fulfilling for them but something else is, and they convert out. There are halachic Jews who have walked away from Judaism in order to practice any other number of religions: Christianity, Islam, Neo-paganism, Hinduism, etc.
That is their prerogative, but by doing so they turn away from their people in a serious way and cannot be said to be practicing Judaism. There is of course room for many different types of Jewish practice, but conversely, there are practices that are too far removed from Judaism to meaningfully be considered as such. Otherwise, it's no longer a coherent group identity. And because Judaism is a collective identity, that actually matters.
The Jews as a people have decided that worshipping gods that are not Hashem is not within the realm of Judaism, which is why messianic "Jews" are not practicing a valid form of Judaism even if they are halachicly Jewish and/or have Jewish ancestry. Worshipping Jesus makes you a Christian or at least adjacent. That is a hard boundary.
And yeah — if you change the basic meaning of holidays, if you bring in lots of practices that are brand new and have no halachic or even historical basis, are often highly individualistic, and would not be accepted as Judaism by the vast majority of Jews, then it absolutely falls outside it. If I started practicing a religion that made little icons of Muhammad to pray to once a day and celebrated my ingenuity with pork roast and a nice glass of wine, I don't get to say that I'm practicing Islam.
These people are doing the Jewish equivalent. It is something else entirely. Especially because so many of these practices spit in the face of major tenets of Judaism and go against Jewish values.
To treat it otherwise is to treat it as an absolutely meaningless aesthetic rather than a living breathing ethnoreligious tribe of people who get to decide our own community's boundaries and practices collectively.
And for the naysayers who still disrespect Judaism and Jewish identity and peoplehood so much that they think that they get to define Judaism more than actual rabbis? Look, we can't physically stop you from calling yourself Jewish, but by the same turn, YOU can't force US to recognize you as one of us. You can be mad, but that's the thing about group cultural identities — that cultural group gets to decide whether they claim you or not.
[To be clear: this is not about politics — there are plenty of Jewish non-Zionists and anti-Zionists who are 100% Jewish. This is about this one specific shitty organization and this particular type of behavior.]
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a-ikuoliver · 1 month ago
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[prologue] — after another date ruined by your needy roommate, fifteenth to be exact, you hatch a revenge plot that'll either end with you moving out or finally scratching the itch that's been driving you insane.
w/c: 1.2k warning/s: f!reader, making out notes: i am having so much fun imagining annoying this man to death — don't expect serious storytelling here lmao inspo/acknowledgements: loosely inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days + what's your number (rom-com/chick flick vibes)
series masterlist | next chapter [tbd] ->
crossposted to ao3 • masterlist • wip updates & voting • kofi • askbox
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fourteen. that's how many times your roommate had called you mid-date, mid hookup, god, even mid-masturbation in the time you'd been living under the same roof.
"what could you possibly want?" you hope he can't hear your panting, hope he doesn't hear your dates chuckle, hardly muffled by your hand pressed over his mouth, your other tucking the phone snugly between your shoulder and ear, reaching between your thighs for your dates belt with your now-free hand.
"is that any way to speak to a friend in need?" you roll your eyes, his voice thick over the phone as he lazily spoke, you could practically hear that infuriating smile he always had plastered on his lips through the technology. your hips jump, the deep sound zapping through your nerves; already pent up from kissing after… you can't even remember how many months without a date ending like this.
breathless, you respond in a tone you hope has at least a little venom threaded through it, more than a little irritation, "spit it out, aiku."
"need your key, i locked mine inside." your body slacks on top of the brunet beneath you, defeat filling you, your head falling forward with a silent groan, "you're kidding, right?"
fifteen.
he chuckles at your despair, a deep sound that echoes down the line, sounding just as unapologetic as he truly is, "sorry, pretty, you'll be good, won't you?"
tonight might be the night you kill him.
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you'd had roommates before, accustomed to the arguments about chores, about mess, about bills, about noise, meeting eye-to-eye with oliver on every issue. the only problem with your apparent heaven-sent roommate? his habit of interrupting your dates, of cock-blocking you, leaving you at some level of unsatisfied the entire time you shared the apartment — some weeks it was bearable, more like a dull ache in your stomach, others having you about to claw and scratch at the walls.
"call me? we can do this again some other time?" leaning over the threshold, you press a final, sultry kiss to the brunet's lips, sliding a slip of paper with your number in it into his pocket as you did; your hope at a rain check diminishing the moment you step back, your date already tucking his belt back into its loops, thick fingers that were just gripping your thighs already tapping at his phone screen, the familiar pink and white flame symbol beneath his thumb.
you watched number fifteen slip through your fingers, probably the most attractive of all the men aiku had ripped away from you.
the final man, you decide.
you're almost certain your passenger rating had suffered dearly from all of your frustrated, angry mumbling as you sent hushed rant after hushed rant to your friends about how absurd your roommate is on your way back to the shared apartment (omitting some of the details about your intense need after making out for twenty minutes, mostly for the sake of your driver), most of them responding with meaningless gushing about how he at least was kind enough to give you free shows, the muscular expanse of his back something burned into all their minds after aiku crashed your pre-gaming session once after returning home from a game. one of them (uselessly) advising you to just bed aiku instead.
by the time the car had turned the final corner to your place, you'd stewed in your anger for too long, tossing your keys at oliver a little too hard when you face him, just after nine. he catches them (only infuriating you more, sure a vein is about to burst). he looks good, still in his clothes from the gym if you had to guess, a black shirt that clung to his biceps, and shorts that made his thighs more like tree limbs than human ones (only infuriating you more). he quirks a dark eyebrow at you, twirling the keys around his finger before sliding them into the lock.
"do you plan this?" trailing in behind him, dragging your feet as you do, you tug your keys back out of the door, too annoyed, too frustrated to even care about your roommate lifting the tight shirt over his head, gripping the collar at the back of his neck to pull it off, shoulder blades flexing and rippling with every movement, no matter how minute.
"plan what?" oliver shouts from his bedroom, keeping the door ajar, awaiting your answer as he changes.
"do you know how many men you've scared off?" you throw yourself down onto the couch dramatically, "have you bugged my phone or something? hack it so you can call me the moment i’m with a guy?" 
oliver's face splits into a grin, his expression only described as proud, mismatched eyes glimmering as he tightened the watch on his wrist, "hack you?" 
reaching for a decorative cushion, one you’d bought months ago to make the flat less of a bachelor pad, you bury your face in it, half to muffle your loud groan, half to avoid looking at him, now in slacks and a shirt you’re sure is a size too small, following every sharp plane of his shoulders, chest and hips, the top three buttons left undone to show off the tanned muscles beneath that he spent hours working on. the maddening sound of his laugh still invaded your senses, despite the stuffing around your ears.
it's like it was a talent, to sense when he was unwanted, when you were inches away from sating your craving, when all you wanted to forget all about his stupid face, his stupid deep voice, his stupid smug laugh. 
"maybe you have a sixth sense, like that kid who sees ghosts." 
"i think of it more as happy accidents." oliver dodges the cushion, his hand coming up to fix his hair as the other tosses the cushion back towards you, landing square on your chest as you groan childishly again at him. 
stupid face, stupid voice, stupid laugh, stupid reflexes. 
you track him as he moves around the apartment, eyebrows drawn down in a fiery glare as he tosses his shed clothes into the washing machine. the apartments tidy, you note, catching a glimpse of his spotless bedroom from the corner of your eye, his bed sheets crisp and pulled tightly over the mattress, pillows fluffed, every inch vacuumed and dusted.
the oliver you knew was never this clean, he pulled his weight but it’s not as if your apartment looked this brand new often. the oliver that had left no less than four sweaty shirts in the back of your car when he'd change after begging you to pick him up from training on your way home from work, the same oliver that had a varied collection of abandoned water bottles typically adorning his bedside table. this was different than tidy, there wasn't asign of mess anywhere in the apartment, counters freshly cleaned in the kitchen, still sparkling beneath the kitchen lights, not even a speck of dust along the top of the tv screen. 
it was immature, completely, utterly foolish, there's no other word for your decision, but it's impossible to talk yourself out of it as you study him, returning from the immaculate bedroom smelling musky, woody, expensive.
a happy accident he called it? your celibacy while he dates and fucks anyone he wants? while you suffer week after week with your ache growing stronger, your toys hardly working for you any more.
you refuse to see that arrogant, satisfied smile plastered on his face again.
“got a hot date tonight, aiku?”
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© all works belong to @a-ikuoliver, @gwen0m, and dlirious on archive of our own, do not plagiarise, translate, repost, feed my works into ai or recommend my work on other platforms, or bind my fanworks for sale.
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anothermansjeans · 8 months ago
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Kaleidoscope
aaron hotchner x f!reader
a/n: thank you to those who voted on the poll! i'll probably put up another one either tomorrow or the following day <3 inspiration from kaleidoscope by chappell roan !!
summary: to y/n, love is a kaleidoscope. as beautiful as it is, it's confusing and complicating, and it hurts so much.
warnings: not proof read </3 she's angsty (w/ a happy ending) mentions of guns, mentions of death (very little don't worry), mentions of throwing up, violence, hotch is a bit of a dick but he has redemption...?
word count: 3k
++
Love is a beautiful thing. It can bring light into your life. It's the brightest of colors, the most elegant of shapes. To put it simply, love is like a kaleidoscope.
Love is also a complicated thing. How it works– you'll never truly know. There’s change, but it also stays the same. It’s never confined to a shape alone. Again, in simple terms, love is like a kaleidoscope.
For Y/N, that was the easiest way to put it. When in love, it seemed as though her entire world shifted. It was a confusing and beautiful mess. The problem with this tilted and symmetrical mirror view though, was integrated in the blind spots. In Y/N’s case, that meant her judgment– one of the most integral aspects of her job as an FBI profiler.
She wasn't sure when she switched to her kaleidoscope view on life, but she knew it had to be around the time Hotch offered himself up as bait to the current unsub they were trying to catch. She was worried– she had a right to be. Her and Aaron had been together for a little over a year now– you could say they were in it for the long haul– and she didn't want to lose her love, her life, her future. She was on edge for the rest of the case, but the worst was the moment it was confirmed the unsub had Hotch.
The team was ordered to sit in the car. Stay in the car until they heard either the code word from Hotch or a confession from the unsub. Y/N knew to take orders seriously– she was almost as stern as Aaron at times when it came to protocol during undercover ops. The problem came when they could clearly hear things start to get rough and not only were they still missing a confession, but Hotch had yet to say anything. She was terrified. He didn't have his gun– the entire team knew he would've been searched the moment he walked in the high-end club the victims frequented– and the thought of him not being able to defend himself sent chills down Y/N’s body.
Again, she can't remember the exact moment it happened, but one minute she was in the passenger seat staring intently at the door to the club while listening in, and the next she sent a bullet through the unsub’s head.
She fucked up.
She knew she fucked up the moment Aaron made eye contact with her and behind the lividness, she barely found the love that resided. She wanted to explain herself. She wanted to tell him that the reason why she went in guns blazing was because he was going to get himself killed. She couldn't live without him. She didn't want to.
Unfortunately, that time never came. The moment they found themselves alone in the aftermath happened to be when the paramedic left Hotch after a quick check-up.
“You're lucky.”
His rough voice caused Y/N’s body that had been previously leaned against the ambulance to shift towards Hotch. “Excuse me?”
“You're lucky. If he wasn't the unsub and if he hadn't been assaulting me, you'd end up fired. Possibly arrested.”
“Aaron, you have to know–”
“You crossed a line.” His voice was raised, “when we got into this relationship we had a conversation. Keep it out of the field and away from the team until it is necessary for them to know.”
She scoffed at his words, “you're worried about the team finding out? We just had our one year anniversary two months ago. I live with you and Jack for God’s sake, Aaron. Your life is one of the most important to me– I would do it again if I had to.”
“You crossed a line,” he repeated, exasperation on his face. He was acting as if she wasn't understanding a word he said. “How the Hell am I supposed to trust you?”
Y/N’s eyebrows raised, “oh my fucking God.” She shook her head and turned her back to him, placing her hands on her head as she heard the low mumble she definitely wasn't supposed to hear.
“We were better when we were barely friends.”
What the actual fuck.
Tears began to burn in her eyes as she spun around and saw the look on Aaron’s face. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. She opened and closed her mouth twice before words spew out with a sob. “Well if that's what you want, agent Hotchner.”
She could barely look at him again, so she quickly walked away. She didn't speak to anyone. She sat alone on the jet ride back to Quantico and as soon as they hit the tarmac, she booked a hotel.
++
When the two mandatory days the team gets off ends, Y/N immediately calls out sick. The anxiety of having to see, hear, or even being in the same building as Hotch made her physically sick, and she was in no shape to be driving down to the office. She feels like a coward– she has this idea that a “strong woman” wouldn't just run away to a hotel when shit hits the fan. She thinks they'd stay and fight, or at least grab their stuff before leaving, but when she was in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet as the feelings from the last few days trek through her body, she realizes that she is a strong woman. She walked away from him. Albeit, she let him decide where their relationship stood after his snide comment, she was still the one to take herself away from the situation.
What he said hurt her. She knows she would follow his lead with whatever is decided in regards to their relationship. Even though it felt as if he made that decision right then and there. Even after the hurt that he caused her heart, body, and soul with his words, she always seemed to go back to her kaleidoscope view. Things seem to be changing… but they always stay the same.
++
She took another two days to herself. The second day in her hotel room was spent trying to gain the energy back she initially lost while her body found a temporary home on the bathroom floor, and the third was spent using her key to grab a few of her clothes from the home she shared with the Hotchner boys while Aaron was at the BAU and Jack was at school.
Jack. God, she didn't even want to think about how he may have been feeling. That boy felt like her own in every way that counted. She hopes Aaron broke it to him gently… whatever “it” is.
When she did come back to work, she was bombarded by multiple questions from the team regarding her whereabouts. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I must've gotten something during the last case.”
She spoke that lie with her full chest. She had to, especially in a room full of profilers.
When the interrogation was over, she was barely able to sit down before hearing the voice she had been dreading for almost a week. “Y/L/N.”
Hesitantly, she turned her head up to see Hotch at his office door. The nod of his head requested her to go in there and talk to him, and she immediately felt a turning in her stomach.
She counted as she walked up. Normally, she would be up there in less than thirty seconds. This time, she took a minute and forty two seconds.
“Yes?”
The look on his face looked pained with a mix of anger. “Why weren't you here? What if we had a case?”
“I was sick.” Her voice was soft. She really wasn't in the mood to fight.
“This is why we shouldn't have started any–” he cut himself off, a look of regret immediately flooding his face. “I meant that our relationship shouldn't be getting in the way of work. The team–”
“Aaron, I was really sick.” She was tired of his whole “the team” bullshit. Oh fucking well if they knew. “You know,” she continued as she stared at him, “throwing up in a hotel bathroom and all.” On instinct, his eyes not-so subtly panned down to her stomach, and a ball of fury must have risen up from the depths of Hell and found itself in her because maybe she was ready to fight. “Do not flatter yourself, Aaron.”
Her eyes were wild, and his paled expression knew he was about to have his ass handed to him. “I have no idea who you think you are. Yes, you are my boss, but you are– or were– my partner. Equals. You're allowed to get pissed with me, you're allowed to reprimand me as your subordinate, but you are not allowed to talk to me as if I foiled your little plan on keeping our relationship a dirty little secret to the team.” Taking a breath, she felt the tears she thought she had left back at the hotel make an appearance. “I understand wanting to keep things professional, but you lost that when you brought up our personal relationship in order to make me feel like shit in the field.
“I was terrified for you. Terrified! I never want to imagine losing you– Jack losing another parent, but that's all that went through my mind, and the fact that you're more worried about my professionalism, and me making the team realize we're together is extremely telling.” Feeling a sob making its way through her body, she spoke her next words with as much grace and dignity as she could muster. “I tormented myself these past few days thinking I was a coward running away from this fight, but I’m not. I’m letting you decide. Go ahead, be the coward, and I’ll find a way to understand. Maybe one day we’ll go back to barely being friends.”
She could barely make it out of his office before she completely broke down, and ran to the bathroom out of sight from everyone. However hard she tried though, the entire bullpen was able to see and hear her, and eyes immediately went to Hotch.
“What the Hell happened?” Morgan looked frazzled. No one has ever seen Y/N like this.
“Hotch, what’s going on?”
“Is Y/N okay?”
“Should one of us go to her?”
“Aaron.”
The last voice he heard was the one to pull him away from staring at where Y/N walked away to. Looking over, Rossi had a solemn expression and gestured to Hotch to follow him in his office.
“What's happening with you two?”
The question was a simple one really. Before the last case, Aaron would say that he and Y/N are happily in love. They found solace in one another, Jack loves her, he wants to marry her. He still does, that hasn't changed, but the moment he saw Y/N rush into the club putting everything at risk for him… it scared him. He knew he would have done the same thing, but seeing the way Y/N could so easily risk her job, her life, just to save him? He never wanted that to have to happen. So maybe the question was simple, but his true answer would be loaded.
“We’re together,” he opted out of explanation. He knew Rossi would understand.
“Yes, and?”
With furrowed eyebrows, Hotch tilted his head. Rossi had this look on his face as if it wasn't a shock that they were together. “and I screwed up.”
“How,” the older man was getting impatient.
Sighing, Aaron closed his eyes. “I said things. I made her feel bad and prioritized keeping us a secret and being professional.”
“You must not think we’re good profilers."
Aaron knew what he meant by that. The smirk on Rossi’s face said that he didn't even believe what he was saying. Deep down, he did entertain the idea that the team already knew about them, and the more he thought about that, the less and less his anger towards Y/N was originally rooted in spilling that secret.
When he hadn't said anything for a few moments, Rossi spoke again. “So what was the real issue?”
Shaking his head, Hotch scoffs. “She is so selfless at times it scares me.” Rossi’s silence prompted him to continue. “She risked so much going in that club and killing that unsub, but all she cared about was me. She told me she couldn't imagine Jack losing another parent and I just– it reminds me of Haley.”
A look of understanding washes over Rossi’s face as Hotch continues.
“This job kills, Dave. The only way I know how to compartmentalize when it comes to it is to stay professional and try not to think about the love of my life also there doing what I do and potentially getting herself killed. I don't think me or Jack could go through losing someone else.”
“Tell her that.” Rossi’s voice is stern. “Don't push away everything you two have built– which I’m assuming took about a year to build?”
“A couple months over.”
“And I’m assuming you love together seeing that none of us are ever invited over to your places,” the smirk on his face caused a light blush to appear on Aaron’s face. They really never were that subtle. “But Aaron, I think you're too old for me to say this but love is a crazy thing. It’s the nicest but also the most confusing thing. She will understand how you're feeling. It seems to me she already knows that feeling.”
Feeling a thousand times better but a million times worse after thinking about Y/N currently breaking down, Aaron makes a move towards the door to go find her, but is stopped when JJ gives both him and Rossi a weak smile.
“We got a case.”
++
It’s five days later and the case is still ongoing. Y/N’s been distant– rightfully so– and Hotch has been trying to find every moment possible to talk to her, but it’s dejectedly decided that won't be happening until afterwards. A break in the case had finally happened when they had come to the realization that the unsub had to be an officer on the case, and unfortunately that officer happened to be the one Y/N was currently riding with to a crime scene.
The team was at the precinct when Hotch’s phone rang, an incoming call from Y/N, and the dreadful sense of deja vu set in when he heard the voices on the other end.
“Where are you taking me?” Y/N asked. A slight panic could be detected in her voice.
“I told you… the next crime scene.”
“You'll never get away with it.”
The click of a gun could be heard and hot tears began to stream down Aaron’s face. “Try me, Sweetheart.”
“Garcia, we need that location,” Morgan could be heard behind him, but he was hyper focused on his phone. Mumbles and grunts were the only things heard on the speaker of Hotch’s phone followed by the sound of car doors closing. “Highland Bakery! Garcia says it's been abandoned for thirty years.”
Hotch was the first one out the door. It wasn't happening. Y/N would be safe. He refused anything otherwise.
When they reached the building Hotch had to remind himself over and over again to stay rational. He had to stay level headed and keep you safe, which is what he did. The moment the tact team went in there, Y/N was found half asleep, arms chained above her head, duct tape over her mouth, and cut marks along her legs. She was hurt, but she was safe. Hotch didn't even care about the unsub at that point, knowing the rest of the team was more than qualified to apprehend him. His main priority was getting Y/N to the paramedics as soon as possible.
Hours later sitting in a tiny hospital chair, Aaron held onto her hand for dear life. Her hand squeezed his, causing him to become vigilant, and when she opened her eyes, he immediately started to cry and brush her hair back. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Her voice was rough, and she sat up the tiniest bit before slightly moving her hand out of his.
His heart dropped once she did that, and the words began to flow out of his mouth. “I love you so much, please tell me you know that.” He waited a beat as she gently nodded, which he took as permission to continue. “I’m an ass. I said things that make me hate myself because you deserve so much more than that. I was scared. I'm always scared when it comes to you and this job, but something just snapped at that moment and I realized how much we risk for each other. You say you don't want to imagine losing me, well I can't imagine losing you. I am so in love with you and so please, I promise to not be an ass about it but I also need you to promise to be safe.”
They were both crying at that point. “I’m still upset about what you said.”
He nodded his head quickly, “which is expected and valid.”
“And you need to get over the team knowing.”
“Already done.”
She lifted an eyebrow and gave a slow nod. “And I need you to know that I love you too.” He laughed and pressed their lips together, only breaking away to catch their breaths. “Next time you offer yourself up as bait to an unsub,” she began, her voice just barely above a whisper, “please use the code word so that I don't have to hear you getting hurt.”
With their foreheads touching, he brushed their noses against each other. “How about one just for us? So we both know when to walk away.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Any word you want.”
Y/N took a moment before a small smile made its way on her face. “How about… kaleidoscope?”
“Kaleidoscope?”
“Yeah. It reminds me of you. Of love.”
Aaron smiles with her and slightly leans back in to fit their lips together. Love is a beauteous mess with every emotion reflecting off of those you love. Love is a kaleidoscope.
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saint-vagrant · 5 months ago
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for the love of god stop with these Rational Thinkers' paragraph + italicised "VOTE!" posts. is anyone moved by this? i've seen "vote for whoever you like, but just vote" VOTE FOR WHOEVER BUT JUST DO IT? BRO! that's somehow more pathetic than demanding that you back biden or else you're too young and too old and too stupid and too academic and ultimately a traitor if you came to a different conclusion and act, to your best ability, in accordance with your ethics.
like yeah you'll do whatever and so will i, i guess. but it's psychically painful to see this totally coincidental influx specifically since october 2023. people calling leftists (well specifically anti-imperialists &/ communists) "russian/chinese/3rd party agents" who are "lying to you to stop you from voting." it's been worded as "your friends are lying to you." that is so cool. it's like 2016 in here. yday i saw "voting isn't about which leader will sign off on your glorious revolution" which is such a snide misunderstanding of... most things, i think? it's giving "proudly launching headfirst down stairwell." more than half the time i check out OP, they're openly a zionist, or end up there by default in the sense of being a bland milquetoast etiquette-obsessed "let people enjoy things" centrist who's so mistrusting of information or pattern recognition that if you possess either you're corrupted by "ideology."
why would it be necessary to lie? what purpose for a big convoluted conspiracy? for whom IS this simplistic, condescending, dispassionate shit anyway??? surely not for the people whose families are burning alive, thanks to the american government who robs and brutalises its own people in order to fund further massacres. because how could you look that person in the face and tell them "no, you don't know fuckall about how things run around here. now is the time for political decorum" ?? there must be such a sense of comfort in the idea that those people are "over there." like i think it's pretty unfortunate that a lot of these posts begin by citing some ~dramatic~ ~babybrained~ "take" committed by disgruntled "western" posters (who are spies) but when i heard the source, or when i go find it, it's by a palestinian or muslim person or just someone from whom it like, kind of makes sense why they feel the way they do! but then it's characterised in such a vague wussy ass way! huh??!!! like it seems very convenient to ignore WHO is organising/mobilising/criticising, WHO is protesting and abstaining, so that these posts come off more sound and reasonable than the leftist sleeper agents who appeal to emotion over sense. and i'm not even telling you not to vote! i'm wondering why it's so impossible to conceive of a reality where a marginalised person or group concludes that the health and safety of their community will be sought and achieved through other means. you really can't imagine that? that's dumb to you?
so i guess i, too, don't care what the hell you do with your precious little life, but it is So Fucked to talk down to people about genocide like it's a petty, inconvenient wedge issue we have to sidestep for the greater good. fwiw voting isn't wholly irrelevant to me, And Also, i understand being against a system means, for many, abstaining from its approved tools and pouring efforts into direct action. this is not a new approach! greater good is sought and achieved mainly and actively on the ground— not from above. moreover, there is no good greater than opposing and ending genocide for fuck's sake! jesus!
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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 5 months ago
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Hey hi hello to any fellow Brits reading this.
You probably know we have a general election coming up, which by the way, make sure you're registered to vote and have the qualifying photo ID.
And hey maybe you're a fence-sitter who doesn't want to vote for Labour for whatever reason.
Well, this post is giving you a reason to vote for Labour (or any party other than Tory if the candidate actually has a chance to win the seat).
You might have noticed that a lot of local and city councils have either gone bankrupt recently or are teetering on the edge, and that officially, it's the councils themselves that have been blamed, and uh yeah, that's horseshit.
The majority of a local council's funding comes from core grants given out by Westminster.
There's actually a limit on funding that local councils can raise via taxes, and like a whole lot of issues in the UK, that comes down to Margaret fucking Thatcher. It's also thanks to her that local councils don't have as much power over the local area as you'd ideally want them to.
(That's been eased a little since, but if a local council ain't got the money, they can't exercise that power.)
Suffice to say, local councils are very much dependent on funding from the central government.
And as you might imagine, 14 years of Tory government has just made it worse. From 2010 to 2020, that funding was cut by 40%.
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Wanna know why hundreds of libraries have closed down? Or why public services like bin collections are almost entirely ran by corporations? Or why bin collections are now once a fortnight rather than once a week? Or why council houses haven't been built? Or why public toilets are being closed? Or why you have to Tokyo Drift on the drive to work because it's been 2 years and no one's done shit about that goddamn pothole? Or why parks seem to now be maintained by Big Foot and by the way Big Foot has also declared bankruptcy? Or why local arts have had their budget of 17 paperclips and a whistle reduced down to 10 paperclips and no whistle? Or why your local museum is effectively a mausoleum?
It is all down to this.
Your local council runs on a shoestring budget because Tory rule has deprived local councils of the funding that they need.
If the Tories win in July, this problem is just gonna get worse and worse and worse.
More councils are going to go bankrupt; more public services are going to be cut or underfunded; more vulnerable kids are going to fall through the cracks; more local services will be privatised; more pressing issues will be ignored because there's no money left over to fix it.
You might not like the current Labour party, but hi hello welcome to harm reduction politics. Maybe a Labour government won't fix this, but another 5 years of Tory rule is going to break this country.
So for god's sake, get over yourself and your leftist purity bullshit, and just fucking vote for Labour as a vote against the Tories.
[Information for this post comes from this video by Tom Nicholas]
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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago
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Do you think part of what makes people feel like voting isn’t worth it because things don’t get better under democrats is because we can’t see what would have happened? Like I see a lot of people saying “well biden hasn’t made america much better so there’s no point” but it’s like they don’t understand that under a republican they would actively do everything they could to cause more harm. It’s like they don’t understand that 1. The president can’t do much, and 2. IT WOULD BE WORSE. like they don’t understand the possibilities. Idk people just frustrate me
I'm sorry, as I know you're just relaying what these people think and not claiming so yourself, but the whole "things don't get better under Biden/Democrats" line to which we are subjected so very, miserably often is a lie!!! It is demonstrably a lie! It is peddled by people who deliberately live in their echo-chamber leftist misinformation bubbles and either don't read the news, don't accept anything less than the Magical Socialist Revolution Now, and don't think partial or incremental progress (aka the only kind of progress that exists) is valid. "Biden hasn't single-handedly fixed everything wrong with America and the world after the most damaging presidency ever to exist and 250+ years of flaws, while other countries actually are their own actors with agency making complex choices, so we shouldn't vote for him" is a bullshit lie and I'm tired of it!!!
(Again. Sorry. This is not directed at you. This is just my frustration with this entire ridiculous situation speaking.)
We have had multiple elections now where people voted for Democrats, which resulted in abortion protections, protections for LGBTQ people, the biggest climate legislation ever to pass Congress/be signed into law (the Inflation Reduction Act), vast improvements in the job market, executive actions both large and small, improvements in labor and the economy, a general democratic system, a defense of the rule of law, a warning against fascism, and everything else that Trump trampled on in 4 years and will finish the job of doing if this godforsaken country is either right-wing-zealot or left-wing-zealot enough to put him back into office. (Like, people. Google is free. You're welcome to look up the improvements Biden has actually made, but that would harm your Narrative.) So much of this misinformation is also peddled by people who are proud that they don't have a clue how the American government works and/or deliberately lie about it: see all the claims that it was Biden's fault for not magically stopping a Trump-stacked SCOTUS, selected for the express purpose of overturning Roe, from overturning Roe. Because the president could just unilaterally overturn the Supreme Court with no problems at all if He Really Wanted To, I guess. Even if that is literally not the way it has ever functioned in history.
All the noxious Republicans in state legislatures passing anti-trans/anti-abortion/anti-voting laws ARE NOT SOMETHING BIDEN CAN STOP. If you're going to criticize him for not doing something, for God's sake at least make it for something he can do (like not calling for a ceasefire in Gaza, though I would argue he's already taking a more nuanced approach than the entirety of the American establishment during the War on Terror). And then vote for him when/if he follows it up, not just throw your hands in the air and scream about how you Can't Possibly Sully Yourself (especially when there is some very selective support going on here and a deliberate white-washing of how many orders of magnitude worse absolutely everything else in America and the world would be under Trump. So.)
I'm tired of it. I'm really, really tired of it. I've been trying to cut back on my politics posting because my mental health is bad right now and I often feel like a broken record screaming into the void. But. Yeah. Anyway. Whoof.
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moonyasnow · 2 months ago
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TWST OC Showcase: Lisle Ram
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Voice Claim: John Rubinstein (in his performance of Subaki from Fire Emblem: Fates)
Human Ambidexterous Sunshine Lands 179cm / 5'8 - #70d64b / 112, 214, 75 August 30th - Virgo - 18-19 y.o. 3d year - Junior - Class B, no. 21 Equestrian Club Best Subject: Summoning Hobbies: watching operas Pet peeves: Poorly performed mechanical repair Favorite food: Pizza Margherita Least favorite food: Ice cream Talent: Public Relations Floyd-given name: Blobfish Rook-given name: Monsieur Berger Cater-given name: Liss Signature Spell: Golden Touch With just a touch, he can turn anything to gold. Though not all the way through; if asked to turn an apple to gold, only about a centimeter will actually be gold. He can also create gold dust out of just air.
[ ~Based on Glinda the Good Witch from Wicked~ ]
Link to all my OC Showcases here!
A few quotes:
He does a mix of a chuckle and a scoff. "Yes…when monkeys fly, perhaps."
When Eliza rejects him for not being 180cm [internal narration] *Why you arrogant—* — "Well…everyone has standards. Some, many."
"Very well; I know when to step down." [internal narration] *As a display of my kindness, of course.* — "Everyone knows I would have won, had that boy not garnered the pity-vote. So in the end, the loss of one measly award does me little when I know it is rightfully mine— at least in spirit."
In a small mountain village by name Gillikin in the Sunshine Lands lived a husband, Elliot and wife, Carla, the owners of a small auto-repair shop. All they wished for was a child. Yet as they were both already middle aged, and in all their years of trying had not been granted one, they had begun to believe it was impossible. Everyone in the little town mourned with them. But then one day, a miracle seemingly happened. The wife was pregnant! The small town, quite set in their traditions, thanked their god for their friends' luck, and the miracle bestowed on them. Though both his parents' hair was brown, when the child was born, his hair was golden as the sunlight. The day of his birth, the town celebrated for the auto-mechanics, proclaiming the boy, who was given the name Lisle, must be a gift from the Seven, to have been born at such a late stage of their lives, when it was thought impossible for them to become pregnant at all due to their age. He was a beautiful little boy, everyone thought. And as he grew, it seemed beauty was not the only gift granted to him, for he soon outperformed his few peers in school, both in athletics, academics, as well as socially. He was polite, friendly, and kind. And even greater yet, when they discovered that he was a mage— the first to be born in the town in several generations. And when he was only seven years old, watching his parents at work in their mechanic shop, he used his Signature Spell for the first time when he turned a broken hubcap, the middle of a wheel, to gold, also fixing it in the process. The people of the town often came to him for help in solving problems, whether it be his classmates asking for help with an equation, or to turn something to gold; either to make it less prone to breaking, or simply for its beauty. He truly was the Golden Boy of Gillikin. Yet, although his parents from an early age both taught him to be humble, when all your life is spent surrounded by people who are, in practice, more worshippers than peers and equals, is it really so strange when you begin to believe you are what they treat you as? That the 'modesty' becomes mere pretense? A façade for the sake of others?
His first brush with others who were more of his caliber was when he, just out of Primary School, began attending a very fancy school quite a bit away from his hometown: Shezan Academy; the finest magic academy for students his age in the Sunshine Lands. To attend at all required stellar results on an entrance test, as well as a hefty admission sum, to be allowed to attend. He passed the entrance test himself— though with somewhat lower marks than he was expecting...though he probably was just having an 'off' day— but as for the admission fee... When he asked his parents about it, he learned that the younger half-brother his father would sometimes speak of, the one who left town when he was young and he didn't speak much to anymore, was the owner of one of the biggest Jewelry brands in the world; 'Ram's'. After this, the brothers got in contact with one another again; if nothing else, at least so that their children might know the rest of their family. And so it was that in his 11th year, Lisle first met his cousin, his senior by two years, Briallen Ram. They looked so similar that they could have been siblings. But what set them apart was their personalities, backgrounds and lifestyles. When his classmates heard his surname, 'Ram', they associated the name with his uncle, and believed he was related to him. They were right, in a sense, but not in the way they thought. Because he quickly learned to dodge the question of how exactly they were related— and the fact that his own parents have a tiny auto-repair shop in some tiny town. He began to feel ashamed of his parents, and of his origins. His father was just a mechanic, meanwhile his uncle was a literal trillionaire! He had full belief that he was great, now beginning to grow a belief that he was meant for far better than the 'backwater' he was born in. And if he was going to keep up his good image in front of his peers, he needed to hide where he came from and who his parents actually were.
Coupled with the newfound shame of the 'poor' rural background he hailed from, and the hidden sense of entitlement fostered in him by his upbringing, seeing his cousin who was so similar to him, yet who he percieved to be 'worse' than him, leading the life he thought he deserved... It planted the first seeds of envy in him. And Briallen did not help matters. She could tell he had some kind of negative feelings toward her and found it funny. So the few times they did interact, she basically terrorized him. Prodding at his insecurities, showing off her fancy fur coats and genuine pearl necklaces, saying she was off to hang out with some famous people. Lisle then, at some point, began to try to...while not exactly OVERcompensate for his rural background, at least compensate. He began to act as this nice, 'princely' person; someone who could definitely not have come from some mountain town. Someone sophisticated, elegant, intelligent, and very helpful. And after doing good deeds for his classmates lead to them doing him good deeds in return, or even just speaking well of him to their teachers and leading to him receiving higher honors as a student, he began to realize how important connections were. And after all, he could only attend this school at all because of his father's connection to his uncle. No matter his talent, no matter how great he was, things wouldn't come to him if he wasn't popular. And with time, the more people sung his praises, the more they called him kind, thoughtful, and wonderful, the more he believed he was. He was every great thing they called him. The only thing at odds with his image was, again, his background...however, one day, he would no longer be poor, living in a rural town hidden up in the mountains. And as they say: 'fake it til you make it'.
But. He does love his parents. It's not them he's ashamed of— it's their shared 'poor' background, since it could pose a problem for his future prospects. One of the reasons he wants to become great and successful is to be able to provide for his parents; buy them a big, beautiful house somewhere scenic and make sure they never have to work another day in their lives. He sees keeping quiet about them as the necessary evil for the sake of fulfilling that dream. Although, despite it not being them, but their background, he's ashamed of...in practice, there isn't much difference. He still asks his parents not to come visit him at his school, or speak to his 'friends'.
And...something else happened as he was growing up. Something that made him feel...strange, at first. He was finding that all his peers were starting to develop crushes, and romantic and physical attraction. But whenever someone talked about a person they had a crush on, no matter what their gender, appearance or personality were...Lisle just could not see it. Never. Not one single time. But instead of pondering about if he might be the one who's different, he just wrote it off as no one being attractive enough to him. And it only further cemented his view that none of his peers were as great as him, if those were their standards.
Due to his parents being quite old when they had him (they're now in their early 60s) he has an appreciation for old music, and has a record player in his dorm room.
For a rough example of how the people of Gillikin treated Lisle growing up, think Gaston from the 1991 Beauty and the Beast.
At NRC:
When he had just turned 16, he got a letter. One he had been anticipating; a letter informing him he was to attend one of the greatest Mage schools in the world, located on Sage Island. Seeing the address it had been sent from was all he needed to know. He had been planning for, what he thought was his inevitable, tenure at Royal Sword Academy for many years. For there was no other school that could possibly fit him better.
So when he actually opened the envelope and saw written in big, bold, black letters: 'Night Raven College'... He was...shocked. To put it lightly.
Him, going to a school like that? With a reputation for unruly, uncooperative hooligans, who had lost every single Spelldrive game against Royal Sword for nearly 100 years in a row, all due to their inability to cooperate with one another? He'd watched himself, in all his research of Royal Sword, how the NRC team had multiple times broken out in a brawl amongst themselves only minutes, sometimes even seconds, into the start of the match.
It had to be some big joke.
There was no way he was fit for such an awful place!
So he was in a BAD mood when the Black Carriage came for him. Though being sorted into Octavinelle, the Dorm associated with a 'spirit of benevolence', did improve his mood somewhat.
And so he started to see him being sent to NRC as a 'challenge' somehow. Basically, he had to not become upset by this and prove he can still be 'good and kind' even in the midst of people he considers to be worse than him on the very basis of them being sent to NRC. He wasn't like them. He wasn't supposed to be there: he was 'supposed' to be at RSA. So he didn't need to even consider the possibility of him being anything like them.
Eventually, not too far into his Freshman year, he had managed to become the Housewarden of Octavinelle. The previous Housewarden— that is, the one before the one holding the title when Lisle was first enrolled— had gone onto his 4th year without picking a successor, making the former Vice Housewarden the new Housewarden by default. but he really did NOT feel fit for the role. And, having already gained a reputation for himself as being very befitting of the Dorm's spirit, Lisle was picked to be the new Housewarden.
He was secretly at least somewhat disgusted with nearly everyone he met at that school. At any joint events, he would socialize almost exclusively with RSA students. At least, as much as he could get away with it and not make anyone from his own school believe he preferred them. If anyone asked why he was schmoozing with them so much, he'd say he was just doing it to 'keeps tabs on the competition'. It disgusted him to have to, in his mind, sink so low as to 'lie' about doing something worse than he actually was, all to stay in the good graces of people he did not care for and thought were below him.
With the exception of one person. His seatmate in that year's Freshman Class B, one Cater Diamond. Now, Lisle hadn't had anyone he could consider a 'true friend' before. His 'friends' were always merely acquaintances closer to his level he associated with for his own gain, or those below him who he kept around out of charity. But somehow, something with Cater just 'clicked'. They got on like a house on fire, becoming quite close. And upon witnessing Lisle when he wasn't acting, seeing him be a petty, whiny, selfish drama-queen, he didn't think less of him. Or maybe he did. But he still wanted to be Lisle's friend.
That was...strange, to Lisle. He'd always hidden those parts of him, to the point of convincing even himself he didn't have them in the first place, all because he was sure they were things no one would ever truly like in another person. They were 'bad' traits. He'd been expecting Cater might turn into one of those 'convenient friends', with a mutually beneficial arrangement, who stuck to him because of what he could gain. So he was touched when Cater said that 'despite being way worse of a person than I realized, we're still cool. It's kinda refreshing to see, even.' Lisle even started tearing up a little, though quickly tried (and failed) to not draw more attention to it by proclaiming he 'needed to go fix his eyeshadow.'
And once on a school break, when it was clear— to Lisle, at least— that Cater wasn't too thrilled about going home for the week, he offered to let Cater go to Gillikin with him. And so Cater became the first, and at that point only, friend of his to ever know the truth about his parents.
And on the very opposite side of the spectrum... The person...or rather, the floating tablet 'sitting' on his other side... He showed up in person one time. Only once. And Lisle took one look at him, heard his name was 'Idia Shroud', making him the son of one of the richest families in the world, and was overcome with a feeling of pure...bafflement! Beffudlement! Disgust!
Here he was; someone who had everything Lisle wanted; wealth, a well-known family name, a guaranteed good future-- and he was presenting himself like...like some corpse! Like a gloom cloud personified!
Lisle is not entirely unconvinced the look of pure distaste toward Idia he couldn't keep off his face contributed to Idia never again showing up for class in-person.
They were at one point paired up for a class assignment. Everyone else in class, whom Lisle had quickly won over, shared words of sympathy with him for being 'forced to work with someone like that'. And at once, he put on the facade of the kind classmate, thanking them for their concern, 'though I'm sure it won't be all as bad as that.'
Lisle ended up joining the Equestrian Club. After all, knowing how to ride would definitely enhance and play very well into his 'princely' image. And to his joy, the horse he was assigned to ride was a pure white mare named Lady. He was sure it must have been meant to be. As far as he saw it they were both diamonds among coal, two pure, beautiful beings stuck in this place infested with ne'er-do-wells.
Eventually, Lisle started to realize that Idia truly had great potential; a good bone structure, was fairly tall, and the naturally blue lips and flaming hair coupled with his pale skin could actually work really well if he just put some effort into it. He will not admit to having realized this after Idia was kidnapped and almost forcibly married to Eliza.
But he started getting an idea... If he were to, say, give Idia a makeover, to make him look actually presentable, then 'the gloom-cloud' as he now referred to him as in his head, might feel grateful, possibly even indebted, to him. Not only would that stroke Lisle's ego and make him feel better about his envy toward Idia's wealth and position, viewing himself as a 'king-maker' of sorts, being owed a favor by someone that powerful would be sure to do wonders for getting him a foot in the door in the right rooms in the future.
So suddenly he started being nicer to Idia, saying he wanted to help him become more popular. And Idia, of course, wanted no part of it, even as Lisle kept insisting that people would like him more if he simply put in some more effort into looking presentable, and not insulting people so openly.
"After all, people love a good story of rehabilitation."
Despite how good Lisle usually was at maintaining his kind facade, Idia just had a way of absolutely infuriating him. And so once in a moment of heightened emotion, after having had a long day already, Lisle dropped his mask and was completely honest to what he truly thought; about him, about everyone at NRC, about him being at NRC at all.
And somehow, learning this guy who'd been trying to 'help' him was actually kind of a terrible person but felt the need to always hide it, who felt envious of him and was trying to feel better about himself by proving he was somehow 'better' in a way... Well, he didn't like him any more than he previously did. But he sort of understood him now? That all of this was just his way of trying to make himself feel better.
But then after that, Lisle just kept coming back. But he was actually honest this time??? He even thanked Idia. Sincerely! Saying he felt so much better since he was able to drop the mask and just vent at Idia. So now, in return, he was going to try even harder to 'help' him. Dragging him off on walks sometimes to get a minimum amount of exercise, teaching him how to cook simple, healthy meals, and opening his blinds to show him non-arteficial light.
Idia's 'Um, WHAT?! I literally never asked for that! In fact, that's the opposite of what I wanted!' did not phase him in the slightest. Instead, Lisle got closer and held Idia's jaw delicately in his hands, looked him right in the eye with a genuine expression and telling him: 'I see promise in you. Truly.' Idia just kinda stopped. He didn't know what to say or how to respond to that.
And with time, all the things Lisle did to try to help Idia became no longer as Lisle treating him like a 'project', and no longer as much out of gratitude, but instead...just out of care. The way you'd want someone you care about to stay healthy, so you scold them for only eating snacks or going out in the rain without a coat or umbrella. He basically became Idia's hype-man, too.
The day Lisle gave him a small platonic goodbye-kiss on the forehead was the day the code file containing idia's perception of his and Lisle's relationship glitched out and has been unable to be opened again ever since. He has no idea what's going on.
Upon the start of his second year, with the arrival of four new students in particular— Azul Ashengrotto, Jade and Floyd Leech, and a girl whom Lisle had no idea how Crowley allowed to be enrolled, Junia— his status as Housewarden of Octavinelle came to an end. The Headmaster Crowley himself told Lisle that there was nothing he could do about it, despite the sudden re-delegation of the title very much not being the way it usually went. Lisle immediately suspected bribery.
Although... There did exist a clause which was not very well-known, saying that if at least a 3/5 majority of a dorm disagreed with the new choice of Housewarden, the new could not be appointed. And Lisle was still very, very popular with those in his year, and the now third-years.
But Azul proposed a deal to him. In which Lisle would still be allowed to continue giving out help to the rest of the Dorm, as well as students from other dorms, without it being seen as 'infringing' on Azul's business. In exchange, he could be the Vice Housewarden.
Lisle knew that any beloved figure only becomes more beloved when faced with a 'villain'. And so he denied the offer to be Vice Housewarden, so as not to be seen as 'complicit' to the 'new regime' yet still exchanged his title of Housewarden for the promise of being allowed to freely offer his own services. He thought it was better to be seen as a gracious leader felled by newly arrived 'malicious forces' than an ineffectual leader who could not manage to hold off the foul business practices of one of his own 'subjects'. It would garner him more sympathy from said 'subjects' in fact, for him to now be on the same level as them.
Though as he, being one of the oldest, and definitely the most popular, was deemed the leader of the Equestrian Club, it could have been worse.
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More sprites:
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So :)
On a scale of 1-10 how much have I destroyed the expectations you had of him
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(I made this meme to keep myself from spoiling a mutual and I've been wanting to post it SO BAD but it'd SPOIL THE SURPRISE!)
MUAHAHAHAH YOU FOOLS (affectionate), YOU FELL FOR HIS FAÇADE
Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade
@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138
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destinygoldenstar · 2 months ago
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☀️This Jake Stan Is Routing For Him To Take REVENGE☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 11 “Lights Out”
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(EDIT after reaction, again. There's ONE POINT in this reaction where I just... BREAK, Get so bloody pissed. It's personal stuff I got triggered by. So... be aware when that comes. You might know what scene it is.)
Jake gets slay pass.
I don’t make the rules. Jake gets slay pass. And he better use it
🔥OPERATION GET REVENGE ON ELLIE IS A GO🔥
And at the end of last episode Jake said he wanted revenge, so YEAH. I'M SUPPORTING HIM WANTING THAT.
I don't hate Ellie, but what she did was screwed up. Gaslight your friend with their personal trauma and ruin their relationship with someone, all for your own personal benefit? Yeah. YOU BETTER BE SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN TONIGHT.
SHE BETTER PAY
Okay I'll specify. I don't THINK she's going, that would be way too obvious and easy. So it's a, "I don't necessarily have to win, I just have to make sure you lose" situation.
Jake doesn't have to get Ellie eliminated. He just needs to make sure revenge is served hot.
And don't go after Gabby. She did nothing wrong.
I will make it clear, cause last episode it might have been confusing how I worded it: Jake is NOT 100% 'the victim' here. He was stupid, he's the reason their evil plot even worked in the first place. Being traumatized is not an excuse for impulsive behavior. Being gay is not an excuse, either. I'M AWARE OF THAT. But did he do anything to DESERVE this prior?
Did he target you? No?
Did he personally go after YOUR relationship with your partner for the sake of the game, Ellie? No?
Did he ever treat you like shit? No?
SO WHAT THE HELL?
Oh god, I'm already fueled up with fire and my eyes are crusty cause I woke up an hour ago. It's morning where I'm at. I know. Weird for me.
So lets get into it and see some chaos unfold.
*I got an ad for an ice drink*
Okay even the episode itself is telling me, "GOLDEN, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN."
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"I said I'm sorry."
Oh my god we're jumping right into this. Here we go.
"Do you have any idea what you did? You got Tom mad at me AND you voted him out!"
"Do you think I get some sick pleasure from this?"
"Maybe you do!"
"I feel terrible, Jake."
"Oh don't pull that crap with me!"
"You can't just say 'I'm sowwy' and expect me to forgive you for something that HURT ME THAT BADLY."
...
Flash back to every time Jake said sowwy and didn't get forgiven.
BUT despite the hypocrisy, I'm still on his side in this argument. I'm sorry. He has every right to be pissed.
"God will those two ever shut up?!"
YOU CAUSED THIS. YOU TOLD ELLIE TO DO THAT TO HIM.
YOU SHUT UP.
"And you two, why should I ever trust you again?!"
YOU SHOULDN'T.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED THEM AFTER THE FIRST BETRAYAL.
"Wow, Ellie's mad that someone lied to her."
"Wow, what a damn hypocrite you both are. Who would've thought?"
They're BOTH stupid, okay?
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Miriam's just walking by completely out of this XD
"Eh I'm chilling. Where's my coffee? Elders can drink coffee, right? I'm just chilling and making white noise out of this."
"Smell that? That's the smell of tension."
...I need to get a Febreze in my room.
"And none of it is targeted at me!"
...
HOW?!?!?!
HOW IS NO ONE AFTER YOU?!?!?!?!
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?!?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE THE BIGGEST TARGET ON YOUR BACK!!!!!
YOU MADE THE PLAN. YOU BETRAYED SEVERAL PEOPLE. YOU CAUSED THIS FIGHT. YOU DECIEVED EVERYONE IN THAT ELIMINATION.
HOW IS NO ONE AFTER YOU?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
"Don't you get it Golden? I'm the villain! Therefore I'm completely excused for everything I've done!"
SURE. EXCUSE THE BEHAVIOR OF THE ONE PERSON WHO ORCHESTRATED THE WHOLE THING.
SURE.
"You know this is your fault, right?"
THANK YOU, MIRIAM.
"I know."
I know too. She DOES feel guilty, I'll give her that.
"You know, at one point, I thought I could trust you, and maybe I was too quick to judge you. But you've proven you're just like Grett, Fiore, and Alec. You're a no good trouble maker. Anything to win money, right? Shows your character through and through."
👏
THANK YOU. CALL HER OUT ON HER BULLSHIT.
THIS IS GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD CALLING OUT.
"Okay, I'm not about to be shamed for wanting to win. As if you don't?!"
Oh come on Ellie. You know she's right.
LISTEN TO MIRIAM. She's calling you out to try and HELP YOU BE BETTER.
She's not saying this to hurt you.
"Why would you vote with them in the first place? They betrayed you."
THANK YOU. FACTS.
"After we voted out Fiore and Alec, who would've been next?"
Depends. Depends what the challenge was and what the relationships were.
"Alright, fine, it would've been you."
"See why I did what I did?"
Yes.
But you could've done it WITHOUT HURTING PEOPLE.
"It doesn't bother me that you kicked Tom out. It's a game after all. But maybe you should've done things in a way where they wouldn't get hurt."
👏
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
YOU COULD'VE JUST STOLE THE FUCKING IDOL.
"It was the only way, Miriam. I'm sorry."
NO IT WASN'T.
Are we SERIOUSLY going to say "But Ellie was just playing the game, so it doesn't count."
Was Jake and Tom's relationship 'just a game?' She didn't have to go the personal route. She could've just stolen that motherfucking idol and all her problems would've been solved.
Yes I'm still calling that out. Add that to the counter I did.
But look, I'm SO HAPPY that Ellie at least got called out on her bullshit... even if that got twisted in her favor.
There's slandering people and intentionally hurting them, and then there's calling them out when they did something wrong because they care about you and want you to be better.
MIRIAM WAS CLEARLY DOING THE LATTER.
SHE CARES. SHE WANTS TO HELP YOU NOT MAKE THESE MISTAKES AGAIN. LISTEN TO HER.
I hope this episode at least ends with Ellie taking what Miriam said to account and realizing she was right. That would be WONDERFUL.
I know you're better than this, Ellie!
PLEASE ELLIE. SEE THE LIGHT.🙏
"There is no light, so it's impossible to navigate without a flashlight."
That sounds like a safety hazard.
"Two of them contain drained flashlights."
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Um... I count three, your honor.
That's an animation error.
"You will have to trust each other to share items as you make your way to the surface."
OH I KNOW WHERE THAT'S GOING...
It sucks cause I think both Jake AND Ellie need that immunity more than the others.
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UM, THAT'S LIFE THREATENING. WHAT?!
IS THAT A SCORPION?!?!
*Gets a 'take your style quiz' ad*
No THAT's the monster. Gotcha.
Why am I getting so many ads today?
"Trust others? I can't name one person I trust here."
Okay, yeah, she has a point there.
"Two of them are backstabbers, one of them is pissed at me, and the grandma is a grandma."
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YEP THAT'S A SCORPION
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Oh, BYE ELLIE XD
Is this cause I gave Jake slay pass?
I know HE didn't do this, but uh...
"You know, Golden told me to get revenge on Ellie, well here you go."
I DIDN'T MEAN KILL HER.
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Well shit. Let me guess, Ellie has the batteries.
"We can find the exit without a flashlight!"
What are you gonna use? The wall? Idk how helpful that is.
Oh, Ellie doesn't have batteries. Okay... how is that gonna work, then?
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*SQUIRMING* THAT'S TERRIFYING...
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IDK IF I SHOULD CHEER CAUSE ITS FIORE OR FEEL BAD FOR HER CAUSE ITS A KID-
"I'm not leaving you!"
AW WAIT, SHE CARES ABOUT HIM?! WHAT?!
"Why did I feel worried when Alec got attacked by the scorpion? It's like I... cared about his well being? Weird."
Well... I'll be damned.
I thought didn't care shit about Alec. Huh.
Villain found family.
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MY GUY. YOU ARE A BEAST.
FIGHTING A BEAST.
"What's wrong? I heard screams around here."
XD
THE DEAD PANNED WAY SHE SAID THAT.
"Oh. You. See ya."
XD
OKAY, THAT'S DESERVED. HONESTLY.
"There's a scorpion here."
"More reason to dip."
"I'm gonna DIE."
"See you in hell."
...actually, it would be fucked up if you left him to DIE, so...
But ditch him afterwards.
"This way!"
*Doordash ad*
"LET'S GO GET DOORDASH!" XD
"Not another scorpion, please..."
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OH IT'S WORSE THAN A SCORPION MY GUY XD
"...kinda wish it was now."
XD
"Give me your flashlight. I can guide you along the way."
Uh, how do I put this? NO.
"Do you think we're gonna trust you?"
"Cause uh, I think I learned something from last time!"
"I can't steal your flashlight! I'm small! If I try to run away with it you'll catch up to me quickly."
Uh, yeah no. Still not buying it.
"I hate to say it, but the girl's got a point, Jake. Give her your flashlight."
"But-"
"Just give it to her."
Oh my god Miriam...
LET ME GUESS, SHE'S GONNA DIP, AND THEY'RE GONNA SAY IT WAS JAKE'S FAULT
Even though JAKE was the one that was NOT trusting her, and MIRIAM was the one who agreed to it.
"It's obvious I'll do my best to leave them the first chance I get. They're the fools for trusting me again."
Yeah, they're... oh my god.
If it's entirely Jake's fault, MAKE IT ENTIRELY JAKE'S FAULT, is all I'm saying.
If you want to paint the narrative that Jake is a gullible moron who believes EVERYTHING he's told. Fine. Then swap the dialogue here and have Jake be the one to suggest giving the light to her. Then I'll believe it was entirely his fault. THAT'S NOT HARD.
If you want me to hate Jake, MAKE ME HATE JAKE.
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OH HEY!
I thought you guys were eliminated! What are you doing here?
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OH SHIT...
Um...
I didn't think we'd be dealing with MURDERERS...
Holy shit this just got a lot darker.
"When I found out at the hotel that Derek and Trevor were exterminating the animals in the forest, I was about to take justice into my own hands! But I remembered that the last time I tried, things didn't end well..."
"And how did you know it was them?"
"I may or may not have threatened the hotel receptionists so they would tell me the truth."
Oh my god Gabby, I love you XD
"I did all your spy work for you! You're welcome! Torture always works!"
(No it doesn't)
"I wanted to call the police! But with my record, I knew they wouldn't listen to me, so I remembered that you're a cop."
So Gabby's a delinquent...
Honestly I'm not surprised.
Also Tom was a spy, where'd you get this from?
"Then what are you? A ninja?"
XD
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ENTIRE TIME.
"I saved your life. You should thank me."
Facts.
"I can't believe I'm forced to work with you again."
I know. It sucks. You really should ditch him.
"Calm down. You're acting like Jake."
OH SHUT UP. YOU DESERVE IT.
"Listen Ellie, I still think back to the early days, when we were the two outcasts of Team Purple-"
LA LA LA LA LA, I'M NOT LISTENING.
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
YOU HAD YOUR SHOT ALEC.
YOU HAD THREE SHOTS, ALEC.
THREE STRIKES. YOU'RE OUT.
I'M NOT LISTENING.
"What do they teach you in school nowadays?"
Bunch of useless shit, let me tell ya
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Ditch him. Ditch him. Ditch him.
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YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!
OH THAT'S SATISFYING!!
OH I LOVE THAT
Why is Ellie being such a girlboss this episode? XD
And after I swore revenge on her at the start too
"Bye Alec."
"Oh fuck you."
XD
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.
YOU DESERVED THAT.
Ellie is seeing the light and I'm gonna be proud of her if she does!
"I think we should take the path to the left."
You guys can SEE the light, right?
Fiore can't really trick you with the light source, can she?
"Gays and boomers first."
AYO. THAT'S OFFENSIVE.
"You did put the batteries in, right? I can barely see a thing."
Again, Jake is the 'moron' quote on quote, but he's the one questioning this shit.
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NO JAKE
Oh please tell me he didn't DIE from that.
Fuck you, Fiore.
I don't care that you're a kid. Fuck you.
"You meant for this to happen, didn't you, you brat?!"
Is Miriam gonna beat her ass? PLEASE.
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XD
YES! GET. HER. ASS. MIRIAM.
GET HER ASS!!
"I should call child protective services on you, you know?!"
Is that directed at Miriam or me cause I'm routing for Miriam to hurt you?
Would love to see that in court.
"Did you attempt murder on Mr. Jake... whatever his last name is?"
"Um, I'm a kid your honor."
"I'm going to take that as a yes."
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OH. HELLO.
THIS IS CONVENIENT.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
"Like you care."
And here we go.
He's still mad at you. For good reason.
"No thanks, I'd rather be in the dark than-"
*Ad on a hurricane*
He'd rather be in the dark than in a hurricane. Honestly, fair.
Okay she saved him.
See, she ain't gonna leave you for dead.
Aw, Alec being so worried about Fiore though...
Damn. They actually have a bond. Who would've thought?
"Go for immunity! We can't let Ellie or Jake win."
I hope Jake DOES get immunity. HE NEEDS IT.
"And don't even get me started on what annoys me the most about you..."
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Ellie looks so done.
"UGH, consequences for my actions SUCK."
"Bruh? Why you pissed? I only took advantage of you, triggered some PTSD, betrayed your trust, lied to you, and ruined your relationship for my own personal benefit to win money. You ask me, you being pissed at me IS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR."
"I WAS THE PLAYING THE GAME. THEREFORE, IT DOESN'T COUNT."
I imagine they were there for hours of Jake just nonstop ranting.
"I hope you know, Ellie, I am PISSED at you. And Golden told me that she wants me to give you karma. Well here it is! I WILL NOT SHUT UP FOR THE REST OF THE TRIP."
"Tom warned me about you, and I decided 'Huh, you know what? Ellie isn't such a bad person.' Of course Tom was right. He's always right. And now, because of you, he won't ever talk to me again! You were never hurt like I was. You don't know what it feels like to be cheated on!"
Honestly, EVERYTHING he said there was just FACTS.
Ellie, you screwed him up beyond repair. That needs to be made clear to her.
Though I will say this: Trauma and being gay is not an excuse XD
He IS wrong on that front.
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Oh they made it. Cool.
Who gets the immunity though?
Talk it out? Please?
"Only one of us can win..."
"If you give this to me, maybe I'll forgive you."
Yeah, he does need it.
The opportunity is open, Ellie! Redeem yourself!
COME HOME. COME TO THE LIGHT. GET YOUR FRIENDS BACK.
"You know what? You can eat shit and die."
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WHAT?!?!?! ELLIE NOOOO
NO YOU WERE DOING GOOD
WHY?!?!?!?!
"And 'BOO HOO, AWWW, I GOT CHEATED ON'. GROW THE HELL UP JAKE."
WHAT THE FUCK?! 😠
"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama. You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."
😠
"Tom probably saw it too."
DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO HIM.
"You have no right to shame me."
YOU HURT HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!
"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."
BULL. SHIT. 😡 THAT WAS FIORE AND ALEC.
"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."
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*Paused the Episode on this frame*
...
So, this is being written TEN MINUTES after I paused the episode in that frame.
What happened in between that ten minutes was that I PAUSED the episode, got out of my seat paced around my room in rage, SCREAMED THE F WORD, I'm lucky my family isn't home at the moment so they can't hear me, and I left the room and paced around in my kitchen to calm down because I felt SICK, HURT, TRIGGERED, and ATTACKED.
Not the writer's fault. They don't know. But... OMG
YOU. YOOOOOUUUUUU
YOU CANNOT DO THAT
I am VERY EMOTIONAL in this segment if you can't tell.
YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.
YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.
Maybe in a separate post, when I cooled my head, I'll talk about WHY this scene hurt me so much.
But my reason is not actually based off the characters. Roles swapped, I think I'd still react this way.
Bottom line is, remember when I said earlier that Miriam was calling Ellie out to help her?
THIS ISN'T THAT. THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE CALLING JAKE OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT', THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE GIRLBOSS MOMENT'. THIS IS SHAMING.
This is SHAMING someone with serious mental problems that need help.
This is not 'Oh, Ellie's ROASTING Jake right now, what a powerful moment for her! Hell ya, he deserved it!'
THIS TRIGGERED ME.
I actually KNEW this scene existed before I watched the show. But I had no context, didn't know what episode it was, didn't know when it showed up, and I didn't remember the exact dialogue. But it was in a clip of a reaction that was cheering for Ellie doing this.
I won't give names, I won't throw hands, that's not their fault if they see it that way. This is just VERY PERSONAL FOR ME.
I won't give massive details, because it's so personal, but why it triggered me? I HAVE BEEN THERE IN MY LIFE.
I HAVE BEEN THERE YEARS AGO, MULTIPLE TIMES, WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE DOING THIS SHIT TO ME. Acting JUST LIKE how Ellie does here, towards me.
It caused me a lot of problems growing up. My family AGREED with the people doing that, so that was not fun. They said 'I needed to hear this. I deserved it.'
So I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. This shit does no favors to the person you're 'roasting'. If anything, this makes the behavior you're calling out WORSE. They act even MORE like this whiny bratty type as a way to cope with the thought that everyone hates them!
ELLIE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
THAT HURTS PEOPLE.
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S JAKE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE JAKE. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.
I'm not saying Jake is innocent and doesn't deserve calling out. BUT, THAT'S NOW HOW YOU DO IT
EVERYTHING Ellie said in that was just... ANGERED ME. IT ANGERED ME.
I gotta calm down. I'm sorry. I gotta calm down. Peace.
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(That time card isn't an exaggeration)
I'm calm. I'm okay. I went for a walk. I got some lunch. I'm good.
Fuck you, Ellie.
I can finish the episode.
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Oh.
I thought Ellie was gonna get immunity. Guess not.
Wow, actually, thinking about it, she would've gotten immunity, something good for her game, if she DIDN'T waste time saying all that shit to Jake.
She could've just said "lol nope", shoved him, and then LEFT.
And she would've gotten immunity.
But no. She had to psychologically damage Jake instead. That was more important.
'For the game' my ass.
"Once again, Ellie proved what a backstabber she is. But at least this time, she didn't get away with it."
I don't want to say 'for no reason', cause you WERE being a bitch to her. But at the end of the day, you vote her off...
Unless she sides with the villains again...
Shit...
Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhh shit.
I think this is it for Jake.
"Am I nervous about tonight's vote? Yes. I feel like I have no control. It all depends on Fiore and Alec."
That's true. They could vote Miriam. Or you.
Cause you and Jake are sure not as hell voting together after you both pull that shit on each other.
"In just a few short days, me and Fiore went from enemy number one to being the ones in control."
I know. That's crazy.
You guys orchestrated the whole thing, confessed that, and no one went after you. That's crazy.
Oooooooohh god...
I'm actually feeling kinda hopeless.
I think I know who it is.
'JAKE'
Yeah...
'ELLIE'
Should've went for the gold.
'ELLIE'
'JAKE'
Aaaaaaaannnnnd I know Fiore's handwriting at this point.
It's over.
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*Long Depressed Sigh*
...I knew it.
We didn't get revenge. Goddammit.
"Whatever. I don't care."
"Spoken like a man who cares."
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"Miriam, I'm so sorry to be leaving you. Maybe if I had taken things differently, none of this would've happened."
Yeah...
"Thank you so much for supporting me. Everything from my grandmother to Tom..."
Oh come on, don't make this sad for me.
"Don't fret, kid. I thought I wouldn't open up to anyone here. But you were patient with me, and taught me that I shouldn't judge people so quickly."
Yeah. He's chaotic like that.
"You may be down, but you're not out. Play your butt off Miriam. We'll see each other when this is all over, okay?"
Yes. Win for them, Miriam.
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Awwwwwwww💗
...damn. I'm gonna miss that trainwreck.
"These people voted out Tom and Jake. They've fooled me time and time again. They think my days are numbered, but they don't realize who they're messing with. No more Mrs. Nice Gran."
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS
GRANDMA'S GONNA SLAY!!!!
Aaaaaaannnnnddd that's it.
Welp, all my favs are gone.
That's usually how it is, so I don't really care about that sort of thing.
Damn, Jake got a bad ending.
Either bro gets therapy, or he's coming back more hostile and broken and distrusting of everyone around him than ever before.
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In that sense, I think Jake left the show with the worst outcome 😢
Part of that IS his fault, I admit. If he had just cooled off for two seconds and listened to Ellie, he would’ve survived and gotten a friend back. But no.
So as much as I hate the scene, I admit I DO LIKE the idea of Jake getting called out for his bullshit. In any other circumstance, HE WOULD DESERVE IT.
BUT HOLY SHIT ELLIE, IF THAT WAS YOUR INTENT THAT WAS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT.
I can totally imagine that Jake comes back in a future season and he’s this bitter, hostile, whiny, “Don’t trust anyone. Everybody is out to get me. Everybody is an enemy who wants to hurt me.” And being even MORE unpleasant for his peers than he is in this season. (Except with Miriam) And a deeper layer being him acting that way because of self loathing. “Ellie was right. I am a dick. I don’t deserve to be loved at all. I’m going to be alone in the end.”
I would hate it, that would probably be obnoxious depending on execution, but I think that would be a consistent writing transition. (Again, kinda like Teruko)
So… I didn’t think I was gonna like Jake as much as I did. I mentioned before but I saw some out of context clips, some of them being only about hatred towards Jake and that calling out scene. So I thought, cause I didn’t know context, “Oh, he’s probably this massive dickhole of a person.”
And then I watch it for myself and look where we are. I love this trainwreck.
Not in the sense of “Cinnamon roll baby girl did nothing wrong and his trauma excuses him of all his actions” Cause uh… hell no.
It was just very refreshing for me to have a character whose experiences and issues actually make them hard to deal with and messy and ‘annoying’. Especially for someone like me who didn’t have exact experiences but also acted like that years ago until I got help.
There’s a GREAT VIDEO that really fits this topic, I’ll put it here. It’s about flawed characters and the discourse surrounding them.
youtube
(This also works for Ellie, and other characters in this show too.)
I defended him when no one else did. Till the end. I did it. I did the impossible. Hello. I’m a Stan.
Fuck you, Ellie. Fuck. You.
Okay I have two different takes, objective and subjective.
Subjectively I think I hate her now. Just cause of that scene being WRONG on so many levels.
But objectively I see her POV in the sense of “She’s too far gone”. And Jake was giving her shit. And she didn’t want to listen to Miriam. I said this last time. This is a cool concept for a character and I’m down for it.
But yeah, she’s too far gone.
Right now, if I was being subjective she’d be an F tier just for that scene alone.
/j. CALM DOWN.
But she is one of the more interesting and intriguing characters left, and I do think she has a chance to win still.
In Total Drama, they usually DON’T let villain/morally grey characters win just because that’s an ‘unpleasant ending’. Unless it’s Heather, but even then that’s… debatable cause of the season.
But you know, this is an indie show. They can do whatever they want. So who knows.
Miriam’s gotta get revenge on her though. She’s our only hope.
Jake passed on the slay pass to Grandma Miriam, and trust me. SHES COMING FOR YOU ALL.
If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.
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phoenixyfriend · 1 year ago
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Ko-Fi prompt from @kayasurin:
Just rant about the stock market, whatever you want to say about it!
'just rant' is such a prompt for uhhhh my distaste.
LEGALLY NECESSARY DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed financial advisor, and it is illegal for me to advise anyone on investment in securities like stocks. My commentary here is merely opinion, not financial advice, and I urge you to not make any decisions with regards to securities investments based on my opinions, or without consulting a licensed advisor.
So here are a few things:
1. Stocks are unreliable.
For the layperson, there is nothing that can be done about the direction a stock takes. Unless you are a majority shareholder, or one of several who can work in concert, you cannot affect the direction a company takes, which means you cannot affect the decisions that might cause a stock to increase or decrease in value. This is a rich man's game. The average investor is just along for the ride, god help them.
Between Random Walk Theory, the dart-throwing monkeys study, and the fact that mutual funds do not beat the market, there is just... it's a crapshoot. Anyone who tells you to invest to make a lot of money is drinking the Kool-Aid. You can invest to make a small return, to keep your money in a lot of places in case your bank gets digitally robbed or whatever your worries might be, diversification is good for safety nets, but for pity's sake, don't expect to become a millionaire, and be aware you can lose a lot, even listening to experts.
2. Stocks can be manipulated, and it's ridiculous and stupid and fucks over perfectly normal companies
Do you remember the GameStop reddit thing? I do. If you don't, please take a quick look at this record of the GameStop stock price.
See that spike in 2021? That was Reddit.
This post did a great job explaining it, but you told me to rant, and so I shall.
A large investment company had decided to make a lot of money for their clients by destroying GameStop. They did this by selling more shares than they actually owned (more than actually existed), force the market to absolutely tank the price, with plans to "buy back" the stock once it was dirt cheap, thereby making a profit for their company. This is a common form of stock manipulation called shortstelling, and investors had been doing it to GameStop for years, without the general public noticing.
Except Reddit did notice. And they decided to Fuck It Up, buying up stock at higher and higher prices, forcing the stock price to skyrocket, and the mutual/hedge funds still had to buy them back, but now it was at a massive loss, and it made headlines across the country because of how incredibly ridiculous it was.
The things to note here is that the market can be manipulated without any regard to the actual profits or health of the company, and that attempts to do so can backfire spectacularly.
3. Returns are minimal
There are two ways to earn money on stocks. The first is returns on capital investment; you buy the share at $10, sell it for $20, and you've thus received $10 profit. This is part of the incredibly unreliable bit I mentioned, because you cannot control the direction the stock takes, and generally can't predict it.
The other way is dividends, which like... profits made over the previous quarter (after paying employees, bank loans, rents, etc.) can be either reinvested to grow the company, or paid out to shareholders. But if you invest $150 in a single share of Walmart stock, your quarterly dividend is $2.25, which is $11/yr.
So unless you're investing hundreds of thousands of dollars, or get really lucky with what you choose to invest in, dividends aren't going to get you much of anything.
And when your stocks do give you healthy dividends, it's because there's money left for shareholders! Which, if you remember a few lines back, is left over after paying employees.
If an investor wants a return on their investment, and they can vote to change policy, and policy that pays employees dictates that they get a smaller dividend, do you think that the investors are going to vote to pay their employees fairly?
Yeah, didn't think so.
4. Rapid, Consumptive Growth
There was a really good post recently that described how and why the Chicago School of Economics, colloquially Reaganomics, has completely fucked over the entire US economy by encouraging the absolute worst state for the market to be in, which is seeking eternal parasitic growth. I urge you to read that one if you can, because the bloggers did a good job. Basically, screw Reagan and screw the Chicago school. The economy still would have been a capitalist hellscape without them, but they sure did hasten it!
(Prompt me on ko-fi!)
103 notes · View notes
catchyhuh · 11 months ago
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do any of these bitches respect personal boundaries
leave these fuckers ALONE. but know they won’t be leaving you alone,
lupin:
lupin is very much the most touchy, and probably the most okay with being touched in general. and if you AREN’T good with being touched? lol. good luck around this fucker
its not even a conscious thing he does, because if it was, by god, he’d have FULLY weaponized it by now to annoy EVERYbody
it’s comfortable for him, more than anything. he’s on his feet for HOURS at a time, y’know, and the poor thing’s never had to work retail, so leaning on another person kinda gets that weight off anyway
however, he does recognize like, everybody ELSE has personal boundaries, so he catches on when anybody stands a bit too close, or leans over his shoulder to see what he’s looking at. by habit it makes him trust the other person less, or, if it’s somebody he already trusts (i.e. jigen or fujiko) then he KNOWS they’re trying to mess with him
jigen:
voted number one easiest (and cheapest!) way to get your head blown off! do not touch him
he’s not going to start yelling at some random person for leaning on his arm or anything, but he doesn’t waste any time pushing them off, with varying degrees of  the gentle “i know you don’t mean to make me uncomfortable but do not do that again” guiding them away push, and the “don’t wanna cause a scene but if you try that again you’re going to be a stain on the wall in 2 seconds” harsh shove
as you probably guessed, the only person who HALFWAY gets away with it is lupin. he usually just leans forward or backward out of the way if he sees it coming and he’s not in the mood, which has the bonus of getting to watch lupin fall flat on his face if HE wasn’t paying attention. the only person who fully gets away with it is, as you also probably guessed, goemon because he… rarelyACTUALLY we’ll get into it when we get to goemon anyway
however, jigen DOES dish out the boundary breaking bits on occasion, usually (if not always) to gloat or establish that he’s winning in this particular situation, and he’s GOING to make YOU uncomfortable about it!
fujiko:
reasonable about it. fujiko, like lupin, is great at reading people, but he just doesn’t really think too much about the fact that people usually don’t like you all up in their grill. fujiko, however, does, so there’s a great tactical balance
she’s not just touching random strangers, but she IS aware of the positive and negative pressure stuff like that has. so like you may have noticed with a lot of things with her, miss mine WEAPONIZES the comfort/discomfort that comes with touch in different situations
fujiko is a naturally touchy person with the right people, but that’s more for her sake than anything else. and i’m not bullshitting this part either-- if you watch anything where they actually try to write her with a personality beyond hehe sexy lady, fujiko is always putting a hand on someone’s shoulder, hugging them (and meaning it!), kind of gently guiding people back away from things, kissing cheeks when she’s excited, IT’S ALL REALLY CUTE AND NOT JUST RESERVED FOR LUPIN! 
goemon:
goemon is… a strange example, because mentally, he’s even more resistant to his boundaries being broken than jigen is, but rather than simply draw his weapon, he tends to freeze up a bit. like oh, um. mhmm. yeah you’re welcome. please get the fuck off of me at your earliest convenience
it’s (as a lot of things are) likely a holdover from his training/general lifestyle. physical touch leaves you susceptible to being attacked, or even worse, pinched, because lupin and jigen and fujiko KEEP DOING THAT JUST BECAUSE THEY KNOW HE GETS STANDOFFISH,
HOWEVER, like we halfway established, jigen always has full permissions, and vice versa. mostly because in the event goemon is truly, actually upset and not just (somewhat) jokingly threatening to gut him like a fish, jigen can read the signs before goemon has even said anything, and leaves him be. but really, all the times that goemon has really TRIED to make jigen uncomfortable by getting in his space could be counted on one hand. goemon has other, STRONGER methods for getting back at that motherfucker :)
all in all goemon is hands down the most likely to leave you the hell alone, exclusively interacting with you from a safe, yet not rude, distance. he only ever gets touchy on very, very specific occasions with people he knows very, very well, so unless you are literally inches away from getting cartoonishly crushed by a piano two feet in front of him, he’s not going to just be grabbing you
zenigata:
it depends very much on the mood you catch him in. if he’s just like, doing whatever, having lunch or something, and he accidentally bumps into you, he’ll apologize and step away. if he thinks you know even a fraction of information about lupin however,
it’s the same kind of slidey scale with his comfort on having HIS space invaded too. it’s more a matter of weird pride that he gets kind of stiff and grouchy when certain people get up in his space and start touching him, but again, if it's just some polite stranger unrelated to anything that just taps on his shoulder and leans into his space trying to ask for directions or whatever, he’s not that bothered
the main takeaway here is that upon a casual meeting, he might not immediately, actively grab you by the shoulders so hard that your spine pops twice and get so close to you that the brim of his hat is touching your hair, but the chances are never, and in fact FAR from, 0!!
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miminmimikyu · 5 months ago
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can we actually talk about how kino Afro is as a antagonist? He's the polar opposite of Issho who was set up as a nasty fella, while also being the cancer that's killing rakugo. "muh tradition" without Issho's new wave eye. "muh respect" but without Issho's two-way respect towards Akane. "muh artform" but only a certain way without Issho's eye for the artist. "muh king of comedy" but not a master of rakugo.
You are so right anon! ( sorry for the ensuing wall of text.).
Yeeeeeess, wow he’s such an effective villain. My blood boils every time Zensho barges into a chapter. He’s so over-the-top 1000% unlikeable (while just realistic enough that I’m sure a lot of people know a less exaggerated real-life Zensho). And at the same time I find him so fascinating as he’s in Issho’s corner but, as you said, his behaviour and ideas about rakugo are completely opposite to Issho’s. That strange contradiction that they’re superficially similar (and on good terms?) but actually ideologically opposites is just… ✨fascinating✨
I went back and read volume 1 (and 2.. and.. ) and it’s interesting that his first appearance made him out to be a Issho-lite, seemingly less irrational (HA!). Or perhaps a mouthpiece for Issho's views. Even Shiguma’s description of Issho’s personality seems similar to Taizen’s description of Zensho's.
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But nope, couldn't be more different. That “honesty/lack of falsehood” means different things here. Both of them may speak harsh truths, but Issho’s harsh honesty is underpinned by his philosophy and respect for the artform, which Zensho's isn't. Going by his Karaku cup critiques and Kaisei's inner thoughts there's actually a correlation between how harsh Issho's honesty is and how much he respects a rakugoka. Akane's conversation with him showed that he won’t betray his principles even in the face of his “enemy” (Shiguma)’s apprentice.
Zensho? Perhaps his rakugo itself is akin to holding up a mirror of truth to the audience, but he sure as hell told a lot of lies this arc. And all of his "honesty" seems to be going to people he doesn't treat with respect. Every core principle of the Arakawa school goes out of the window the second one of Shiguma’s apprentices is mentioned. Maybe his personal vendetta has blinded him to the fact that his behaviour towards them is completely incompatible with the Arakawa school itself. We don't really see him interact with many others but Taizen also calls him “fickle and unfair”, and combined with how badly he speaks about his own apprentices, I wouldn’t be surprised if he treats every single person below him badly.
I'm sure his rakugo brings the house down and art is everything at Arakawa. But. He favours hierarchy over talent, abuses his power and crushes new talent (especially Shiguma-related), he’s resting on his laurels (e.g. raising one shin’uchi) rather than figuring out why his students aren’t making waves, blames everyone but himself, poisons the stage for other performers and above all: He doesn’t even look at their art! His judgement precedes the performance!
It’s all "reputation" and "Issho" with him. Perhaps he's been able to get away with it because of overwhelming rakugo ability. Not for long though, going by the looks Ikken and Taizen are giving him.
Were it not for this weird “notice me Issho aniki!!!” vibe he really seems to be more suited to hang around with those conservative shin’uchi from the Rakugo Federation who were bitching about Kaisei and Akane. (who wants to bet he doesn’t like Kaisei either). But it doesn’t seem like Issho is paying attention to him at all, not even after his little atmosphere-poisoning stunt at Maikeru’s test.
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God this so funny (babes Issho’s not going to respect you for that!)
Anyway, I can see the following happening during Maikeru’s test:
a) Zensho actually listens to Maikeru’s rakugo. It makes him come to some personal revelation about his own behaviour, but he digs his heels in and decides to vote against Zensho “for aniki’s sake”. Then gets chewed out by Issho. b) Zensho doesn’t actually bother to look at Maikeru’s art, causes a big stink when it is well-received by everyone else, and he is chewed out by Issho c) Fairytale ending where Zensho listens and changes his ways (no way in hell).
Whatever happens I really hope we get to see what is fuelling his really irrational behaviour before he’s bodied by the Arch Four.
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accirax · 5 months ago
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initial thoughts on DCAS episode 12
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on another episode of "making myself sad about Grett," we learn that Grett has learned to interpret any general statement as an attack on her appearance/person. fuck you, Yul. and also Grett's family.
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so true Connor
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heheheh, i called that it would be to/at alternate Gabby >:)
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oh nice, Connor is one of those cool CEOs that takes pay cuts in order to give his employees higher wages--
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WHAT
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why are you running like that you fucking nerd (/aff). i don't even have to specify who because it's just that apparently bizarre.
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totally makes sense that Alec is fine with Riya "winning immunity" because she'll just give it back to him. he's got his head in the game as always.
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i always love to see the villains scheming, but this may actually make more sense for Riya than her current real plan. Alec has been proving time and time again that he's good at, like... everything. everyone should be really worried about him winning if he makes it to the end. i don't know if Riya could beat Ally either (because i don't know what the challenge will be), but she should be thinking about taking Alec out before the endgame. although, she does have to worry about taking him out in a way that won't leave a grudge, given that Alec has proven that he won't root for a former ally just to be petty.
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Usain Bolt is now canon to the DCU. no, not that one.
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wow, Gabby really is Tumblr Girl! (/j)
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at first i thought Alec might have been buttering Connor up in this scene in the hopes that Connor would simply give him the immunity if Connor won it. it's true that Connor probably would have given it to one of the heroes, though, just for strategy reasons. still, this is not helping any hopes Alec has of rekindling a friendship with Connor.
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i do NOT trust food made by Marcus and Nina.
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just admit that you're besties, you tsundere fool.
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i'm not trying to argue that Derek is the greatest dude on the planet or anything, but, notably, i feel like this is one of the only times we've seen him look genuinely sad.
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this is a funny speech conclusion from the millionaire guy.
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i guess??? this is the reason???? why they were targeting Gabby?????? i'm still confused, honestly. can we take this as a soft confirmation that Tom and Aiden never believed in that idol Gabby lied about having?
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you do not understand how worried i was for the sake of my power rankings at this moment.
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yay, we finally get to learn what the updated tiebreaker policy is! looks like it will be going to a head-to-head challenge instead of doing a Survivor-style revote -> rocks. Still can't believe that we had a tiebreaker and Yul didn't lose it, though.
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KING BEHAVIOR!! god, i wish the DC winner was determined by jury vote. Alec has absolutely played the game most deserving of winning thus far. then again, if there was a jury vote at the end, people probably would have started gunning to take him out already. so, maybe i should be grateful.
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i'm glad that these two have made up, both because Gabby needs and deserves more friends than just Ellie in her life, and because it shows how Gabby has grown as a person. instead of just wanting to get revenge on those who have personally wronged her, she wants to use her passionate heart to target those who are making others' lives miserable.
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about time!
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"if i can't spend time with my gay crush, you can't either!"
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i still don't think i've actually processed that Tom won't be in the next episode. like, damn. it was a good choice, though. if they were going to send a hero home, i'm much happier to see one part of the love triangle get axed than have Ally randomly go out.
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i assumed something like this would happen, but i was not expecting them to actually visibly kiss. yay for the... krisrek shippers? if they exist?
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poor guy :/
another episode that i'm pleased with! ... but how the hell did Yul not go home?! it's got to happen next week, right? like, i know that Alec is a genius or whatever, but it's not like the entire season can go his way. the villains will have to fracture someday. until then, though, uh, #villainsweep. still rooting for Alec, even if i think Jake will win. see you next week!
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hello-nichya-here · 4 months ago
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Who would Michael Jackson vote for, in your opinion?
Ah, I see we were recommended the same clickbait video XD
Until the Bad Era (so around 87-89, aka Michael's late 20s) he was a very devoted Jehovah's witness, meaning he had to follow certain rules. No christmas, no blood transfusions - and no voting, for anyone of any political party, ever. You were not gonna see him being too overly patriotic either, because things like saluting the flag are seen as a form of WORSHIP, and are thus unnacceptable in their eyes.
There's a reason the song of USA for Africa had no flags around, just the artists singing "We are the WORLD." Why his biggest hits about injustices tackled it in a GLOBAL scale. Why he always responded to accusations of racism by showing love to people of all different races and nationalities.
It wasn't just because he was a nice guy with love for everyone (but don't get me wrong, that was part of it). He literally did not have permission to get too into US politics. Even when he was next to freaking presidents he was always polite and friendly - but never expressing any explicit support or disapproval of him, his political allies, or political rivals.
Now, the Jacksons were known for ignoring their religion when it was convenient (the brothers sleeping around with groupies, Joe having a whole other family, The Jackson 5 having a christmas album, etc) but Michael notoriously had a problem with all that. The song "Superfly Sister" is basically him judging his family, with lines like "Mother's preaching Abraham, brothers they don't give a damn."
He almost didn't release the Thriller video and wanted every copy of it destroyed because he "got in trouble" for the supernatural, horror-movie theme. Even when he decided to go for it, he still felt the need to start with a disclaimer on how it was just a music video, not an expression of his religious beliefs (and ending with a cheeky "This is fiction, any similarities to events or people, living, dead or undead, is purely coincidental" because Michael's gotta Michael).
He only stopped being a Jehovah's witness/was kicked out by them because he didn't like how they were interfering with his art - he was literally told to try dancing without moving his hips, because it was "obscene." He realized he got to a point where anything and everything he did would make someone mad, and dediced to just do as he pleased instead of fighting a losing battle.
He still continued living pretty much the same lifestyle and expressing the same beliefs (the only big differences I've seen is that he became a lot more okay with the fact that he was a horny straight guy like any other, and that according to his daughter he's one of the few people in the Jackson family that doesn't treat people not being straight as a huge taboo and treated her attraction to women as fully normal right away).
Even after he had spent YEARS looking into other religions, including lots of talks with his brother Jermaine, who had converted to Islam, Michael was still pretty much behaving like nothing had changed and he was still a Jehovah's witness - hence his family basically burying him as one because everyone knew that was still Michael's religious belief, even if he had been shunned by them.
I am honestly going to be very surprised if it turns out he ever voted for anyone, as that seemed to be one of the beliefs he never let go of - for God's sake, the man cried after celebrating Christmas for the first time, in his 30s, because he felt he was doing something wrong.
Now, please don't misunderstand what I'm saying, Michael had VERY strong feelings on lots of things that were/are relevant in political debates - but whenever he expressed his concerns on a topic, he'd often go out of his way to DISTANCE it from any political affiliation.
For exemple: Earth Song is all about the planet being destroyed and all the suffering it leads to, which, yes, is an issue that is more left-aligned, but once again, Michael deliberately chose to make it a UNIVERSAL thing, expressed it through MUSIC, and while he donated a lot of money to help the cause, he never showed support for any politician that had a simmilar concern as part of their campain. The music video even ends with the planet being healed through a miracle after everyone affected falls to their knees and prays in the midst of their grief. It shifts the focus from any possible association with some kind of anti-captalism sentiment to make it simply about a devout man's own spiritual belief that humanity doesn't have the right to destroy what God created. It blurs the lines so he can do something that the left will cheer for, without angering the right.
The most openly political thing he ever did was show full support for Nelson Mandela (aka a foreign leader) as well as respect and admiration for MLK and Roosevelt in the song "They Don't Care About Us" (aka two important figures of America's past that were already dead) - and remember, that song in particular had videos both in the US and in Brazil. Once again, he makes it all about GLOBAL issues, trying to be, in a way, "bigger" than US politics so no one can figure out who he's supporting, assuming he supported anyone at all, which is unlikely.
Now, I know someone is inevitably going to ask "But weren't Michael Jackson and Donald Trump friends? Doesn't that mean he'd make an exception on his 'no voting' rule and likely support him over both Hilary and Biden?"
Michael hung out with Trump casually many, many, MANY times and has been to several of his properties (if I'm not mistaken he even lived at Trump Tower for a while). HOWEVER he explicitly told a friend, in a private phone call that he had no idea was being recorded, that he warned his father to not get Trump involved in any of the Jacksons business because he was NOT a smart, competent business man like Joe said.
Worse yet, at the end of his song "Money", Michael mentions a few important names, like Rockefeller and TRUMP, making his thoughts on their character crystal fucking clear through it all (and keep in mind, this was AFTER Trump defended him of the false accusations of pedophilia):
"I'll never betray or deceive you, my friend, but If you show me the cash, then I will take it If you tell me to cry, then I will fake it If you give me a hand, then I will shake it You would do anything for money Anything, anything, anything for money Would lie for you, would die for you Even sell my soul to the devil"
To me, it's pretty clear that, while Michael was clearly willing to be friendly with Trump, he was not blind to the fact that the guy is far from a saint, is no mastermind, and is very greedy, to the point that Michael did NOT fully trust him - and was willing to say so both in private and in public.
Any republican that tries to say he would 1000% be one of them just because Trump (who did not even have a political career when Michael was alive) is constantly telling stories about "My good friend Michael Jackson" is as delusional as any democract that thinks "Earth Song" means he would never ever support him.
If Michael Jackson ever bothered to vote for anyone, he kept quiet about it. At most, he'd let his music do the talking - "Slave To The Rhythm" was him being sympathetic to the struggles of women, "Little Susie" was about how neglectful families can full on kill their children, "Song Groove" was him making it clear he was pro-life (though he said he wanted to be careful with how he'd approach it because he didn't want it to be a guilt-trip or offend anyone, and the song didn't come out until 2012, three years after his death, despite being written in the 80s), "Black or White" was about not being racist, "They Don't Care About Us" was speaking out against police brutality/people in power neglecting their responsibilities and/or abusing said power, etc.
Considering "This Is It" was meant to be his final tour so he could solve all his money issues and chill somewhere with his family, I doubt that he'd say a word about who, if anyone, he'd voting for in this election if he were alive today. He was done with being a public figure.
Not to mention: Michael was NOT stupid. He always went out of his way to be the artist everyone could like (again, see him not wanting the anti-abortion song to offend or guilt-trip people, and it eventually being shelved to avoid the headache). He would not openly support a democrat and piss off the conservative half of his US fans, and he'd not be crazy enough to think people wouldn't drag him through the mud if he supported mister "We'll build a wall and make Mexico pay for it" and then went on to sing "The world must come together as one." It'd never fucking happen, he had more than enough problems to deal with already.
Plus, he very famously did not like being told what to do, so if either side tried pressuring him into supporting their candidate because he HAS to vote for SOMEONE, they'd be met with whatever the polite, super nice euphemism for "Fuck you, I'm Michael Jackson, I do whatever I want" is, because I'm pretty sure he had one.
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damagedintellect · 4 months ago
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Craig Tucker x Fem!reader
💌 Craig Tucker is a mother fucker: Chapter 10  💌  
Summary:  You want to say that it wasn't your fault buuuuuut it kinda was. You didn't think much of it as you casted your joke vote for the "Hottest guy in school" and in hindsight you should never listen to Clyde but it was pretty funny at the time. Craig just wanted a peaceful junior year and you can't blame him for that however waking up the morning after a party, in his bed, being told that you two were dating wasn't exactly your definition of peaceful either.
Notes:  I was always too scared of the fandom to post it back in the day but I wrote this before Creek was made canon so let's just say Craig is bi for my sake because I've had a huge crush on him since forever. My S/O pointed out that Craig is just Trafalgar Law but with a guinea pig instead of a polar bear and I haven't been the same since I have a type and it's them.
💌 Word count: 3,538 💌  <= Previous | Chapter 11 =>
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"I-I think Craig just dumped me."
The tears started to form in your eyes as Clyde ran after him leaving you alone. You're not even quite sure if the water works were to sell the act that you've kept up or if it was because you were so taken aback by this whole endeavor but you'd like to think it was the former rather than the later, period the end, or at least that was what you were going to keep telling yourself. This was supposed to be a harmless dare just some stupid bet so how in the hell did it end up like this. You aimlessly paced back into class pretty much running on auto pilot.
Everyone got quiet for a moment but then returned back to their conversations only glancing at you occasionally. Stan looked at you from across the room rubbing the back of his neck probably debating if he should say something about earlier. You didn't know how to answer Stan's question and you definitely did not want to answer him with all eyes on you. If Stan had asked you a few months ago maybe you would have answered differently but you didn't say anything. Which probably made Stan feel worse but you were also feeling numb. You're not sure if it was because they heard what happened or if the look on your face was enough to assume what did between you and Craig but no one seemed to pry. In a way you were glad no one tried talking to you after that but at the same time maybe being left alone with your thoughts was not a great idea.
It was weird, a few months ago all you wanted was nothing more than a chance to get closer to Stan. You just wanted to be more than a passing face in the halls, to get to know him better and be his friend and the opportunity handed itself to you on a silver platter and you didn't want it anymore. Strange how it seems to always work out like that. On the other hand back then you didn't want anything to do with Craig Tucker and well it seemed like the world had other plans for you both. You thought about this during your next few classes. You never realized just how much the little things he did meant so much to you. Those sarcastic narcissistic smirks that used to pissed you off so much turned into soft grins almost like he was trying not to smile because he didn't want to give anyone the satisfaction. The way he never asked to hold your hand he would just do it and it just felt right. Not to mention you both could sit in comfortable silence with each other. So much has happened over these past few months. With the final ring of the bell you came to terms with the fact that you didn't want things to "go back to normal" normal didn't sit well with you. You enjoyed his company damn it and you weren't going to take no for an answer. You knew what you had to do
You had to find Craig.
You had to at least try to sort this out before it was too late. You scurried around campus looking for him and when you saw him at the end of the hallway Bebe stood right in front of your vision. You tried to look past her making sure to keep an eye on Craig. "(Y/n)! Thank god I found you. We need you to sub in." You were craning your neck to look around her, it was hard with the crowd of students shuffling in and out of the halls "Bebe can this wait, I need to talk to Craig he-" you turned back to see him with Jenny. They were laughing about something and he was smiling. A smile you don't remember him ever making for you. You grit your teeth feeling deflated at the sight of them. At the thought that genuinely everything betweenyou was a lie.
"You know what? Fuck Craig! What does the squad need?" You cursed yourself for being too much of a coward to confront him. You had such a short window of time as it was and now you didn't care. It really did sound like the squad needed your help plus you needed a break. A break from all the lies and pretending. You were able to live without Tucker before and you're stubborn enough to bet that you could live without him now.
Bebe blinked for a second studying your face "What happened with Craig? Wait, have you been crying!" She reached up to grab you cheek and you lightly pushed her hand away.
"Yeah, Craig broke up with me during theatre but that's not important right now. What does the squad need?"
"Oh my god! What an asshole! Where is he I'll-"
You groaned holding her back as the was rolling up her sleeves looking like she was ready to attack someone "Bebe no, the last thing I need you guys to do is get involved. Again." You looked back at where Craig used to be then back to Bebe, he was already gone "What was it about subbing in?" she gave you an apologetic look but continued "Heidi twisted her ankle and we have a game next week. We need you to fill in for her." You sighed yeah this might as well happen but wait, "Isn't it Halloween next week?" You pulled out your phone to confirm this theory as you and Bebe made you way to the gym for practice. "Exactly! That's why Token is throwing a Halloween party after the game. Were you not paying attention during lunch?" Bebe looked back at you but then remembered "Oh that's right never mind."
At least this would help you get a certain someone out of your head.
Spoiler alert! It didn't.
The next day the school caught wind of your break up and everyone was back on their bullshit making up rumors about what they thought drove the nail in the coffin. In a way it made you feel a little bit better knowing that if you guys did break up right after all the rumors subsided it would have been just as annoying as before. At least you had a few month of quiet in between, you know in hindsight. After that it seemed like Craig disappeared or at you thought until someone pushed past you with enough force to make you stumble forward. He didn't even look back to you until you called him out.
"Hey watch where you're going Tucker." He glared at you for a moment spitting "You're in the way (L/n)" under his breath but you still caught it.
After that you didn't see him in your classes mostly because you were finally paying attention to the lessons. You didn't notice him a side from theatre but Cartman's play kept you guys from interacting much and when you did the biting comments were in character and part of the script. Everything went back to normal like he said it would. He didn't show up to the table during lunch if you were there but you also only showed up half the time. The other half was spent giving Egbert off to Stan despite how awkward it was since you never did answer him. You're sure the question wasn't as serious as you were making it out to be but it was still weird how he worded it. Stan seemed to be getting better the more you came around but he was probably doing the same thing you were, using him to fill the void of human interaction that you both once had. You should really ask Wendy what happened but she seemed fine so you left her alone for the most part.
You ended up acting like a new person to some degree focusing on anything you could to take your mind off of the past few months. Anything to get yourself to forget the person you became so fond of. Most of your time and energy went into helping the squad. Everyday after school you had practice to keep you up to speed with how things work. It was odd because you would have never pegged yourself as a cheerleader type but you had to admit being apart of it was kind of fun. It was nice to be a part of something that made you feel appreciated.
Between the stupid egg thing, Cartman's abomination of a play and the squads practices Halloween came faster than expected. You performed well enough to pass as a real cheerleader and it felt exciting. It was enough to get you out of that slump you were in earlier. You weren't really one for sports but you found yourself having a good time especially when you guys won the game. It made you feel like you guys earned the party.
It wasn't until after everyone regrouped outside that your mood dipped again.
"Oh," Craig scoffed "She's here."
He rolled his eyes as you walked out with the rest of the squad. "Seriously dude?" Clyde said lightly nudging him in the shoulder as you all made your way to the parking lot. You mimicked his distaste "Fuck off Tucker you knew I was a cheerleader." He frowned crossing his arms grumbling to himself "Last I checked you were just a sub."
"Yeah? Well last I checked you don't even like football so why'd you come, huh?" you walked passed him trying to keep up with the rest of the group "Clyde always makes me come to their first game." He shrugged pushing past you again gesturing at Clyde "Told me if I came out tonight I wouldn't have to be the designated driver for once." You smirked back at him as you arrived at Clyde's truck "Oh so the great Craig Tucker does drink."
"After talking with you I need a drink."
The squad split up between Clyde and Token but there wasn't enough room for everyone "Bebe and the girls wanna ride in front so both of you have to ride in back."
"I'd rather walk." You spat in Craig's direction "Maybe I could still catch Stan or Kenny." he didn't say anything just flipped you the bird as he climbed over the side of the truck. "(Y/n) just get in the truck." Clyde pleaded as he got in the front.
You sighed but begrudgingly got in the back. The entire ride over you both were quiet staring at each other from across the bed of the truck. The wind was making your hair fly all over the place making you laugh a little when you saw a strand of Craig's hair attack his eye.
Serves him right.
You had never seen Token's place before but you heard his family was loaded but that was an understatement. The house was massive and on top of a hill. The inside was even more impressive. Apparently Tweek and Jimmy left the game early to help set up before the rest of you got there. Everything was decked out with orange and black streamers with cobwebs hanging down the corners of the room.
Honestly it looks like it took forever to set up. There was a huge entertainment center in the middle of the room with MarioKart already loaded up. Off to the sides there was an air hokey table, a billiards table, a karaoke machine and multiple arcade game cabinets. Not to mention a fully stocked kitchen with every alcohol under the sun and Halloween themed snack foods. Oh yeah now this was a party. You were in awe standing in the middle of the doorway.
"Token always throws a big party on the day of the first game but every once in a while it falls on Halloween so he goes all out." Wendy said as she and Bebe finally caught up to you. "No kidding. This is kickass!"
"So did you bring a costume?" Bebe asks you as you walk with them to the bathroom. "uhhhhhhhh" you had completely forgotten about that part, you just wanted to survive the week, you never really gave it much thought. "Why am I not surprised." Bebe sighed but handed you a bag. "Your lucky I couldn't decide what I wanted to be. Take this." you all went into the bathroom to get changed. Of course Bebe and Wendy helped with your make up again. You looked at yourself in the mirror "Just what am I again Bebe?"
"Your a sexy mouse! Like from mean girls the musical. I was going to sing "Sexy" for karaoke but now you get to do it!" you looked at her dumbfounded. "Greaaaaaat" you guys left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen for some drinks but nothing was really jumping out at you. In fact you kind of didn't want to drink tonight, it's probably for the best. "Okay here's the deal I'll sing Sexy but you guys have to dance with me"
"Sure!"
"Of course!"
"Cool now let's get this party started!"
You all sat around chatting with a few people until another group went up to start the Karaoke machine since you didn't want to be the first one to sing. It didn't take too long for someone too start it up, drinking and Karaoke go hand in hand. You kept getting this nagging feeling in the back of your mind like someone's watching you. Not that it was anything new, on top of which being a "sexy mouse" wasn't going to help your case but you couldn't tell if you were just being paranoid or if someone was trying to get your attention. Bebe polished off another drink and threw an arm around both you and Wendy.
"Laddies I think it's time!"
Wendy giggled at Bebe as you were ushered over to the karaoke machine and the music started.
---
Craig slammed another drink down on the table as Clyde gave him a look of concern "Don't you think you should slow down." Craig ignores him continuing the race. He wasn't doing so well "What designated driver who?" Clyde squints at him but sighs "Look I know you've been depressed for like the past week but might I remind you that, YOU broke up with her. Why don't you just go and talk to (Y/n)?"
"No."
"No? What do you mean no? Don't make you drag your ass over there." Clyde gestures vaguely in your direction as he sees you, Bebe and Wendy take the floor of the karaoke machine. "Oh fuck yeah they're gonna do sexy!" Clyde beams looking his girlfriend up an down. The music starts and Craig pops another bottle trying not to watch but ending up watching the whole time forgetting about the race.
---
"I'm a sexy mouse" you say the final line twirling your hair with you fingers striking a final pose laughing to yourself just how stupid and fun this was. Looking to Bebe and Wendy you all laugh yourselves off stage "Wooooo! God (Y/n) I might just fall for you with how sexy you are."
"Pfffft" you exhale as Bebe swoons into your arms caressing your face "Shhhh we don't have to tell Clyde this romance could be our little secret." She was a little tipsy, the perfect amount of tipsy. "What next air hockey or pool" Wendy suggest turning back to you guys flustered. You could see Stan looking in your direction from the pool table. In the end you guys decide Bebe is too tipsy to be trusted with a pointy object so you guys play air hockey instead.
It was funny to see Bebe panic over trying to hit the puck. You stopped trying to win ages ago opting to hit it as slow as possible to see Bebe frantically try to hit it back even if the puck was going into her own goal by accident. You traded off with Wendy grabbing another round of drinks as requested by the laddies. When you came back you noticed Kenny and Stan were playing against Wendy and Bebe. You were all chatting about and having a good time when you heard Clyde faintly call your name.
"Hey (Y/nick name), can you come here for a minute? No dude you're doing this now. I don't care if your drunk you need this. Only one of you needs to be sober to fix this."
Everything past your name was muddled by the music around you but as you walked closer you could hear Clyde shout "(Y/nnnnnnnn), (Y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnn) come get your manssss!" followed by Craig choking out "No, I don wanner to see me. She likes Staaaaaan, nauht meeeee." he was slurring his words but it sounded like he was crying. It was really a sight to behold as you approached from the back of the couch.
Craig was curled up into Clyde's side not seeing you standing above the pair. You've never seen him like this before it was, weird. Over the week you were trying to figure out what exactly you could even say to him. On the other hand seeing him have genuine emotions for once made you think back to everything he's said to you.
* I thought I told you to pay attention!
(Y/n), did you give Clyde your vote or did you vote for me yourself.
You're coming with me. Get on. I don't trust you to walk on your own just shut up and enjoy the ride before I change my mind.
It was Marsh, wasn't it? The one you had a crush on.
But do you want me to, do you want me to take your virginity?
Clearly it didn't mean anything to you anyways.
I don't want her to see me. She likes Staaaaaan, not meeeee. *
It finally clicked. He's always liked you. That night you thought you were imagining Craig professing his love for you. He actually said that, it wasn't just some figment of your imagination. You feel so dumb right now. He must have thought you still liked Stan and- Oh shit. This is all your fault, you are your own worse enemy. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. This was not how you wanted to say those words to him. You still didn't even know what to say. Craig was still muttering to Clyde that you liked Stan not realizing that you were there.
"Yeah, you're right. I do like Stan."
You say flatly. Clyde froze at your choice of words swallowing hard as you tried prying Craig away from him. This only caused him to tighten his grip on Clyde's jacket. Instead you knelt down in front of him resting your elbows on his knees propping your head up on your hands. "But I don't love Stan." he started to loosen his grip a little to look at you through his bangs "We're friends and all sure but that doesn't mean I love him."
He let go of Clyde and sat up staring down at you. He was a mess his hat was sliding off, his hair clumped in weird ways partially wet from either tears, sweat or beer and his eyes were all red and puffy. "No for some reason I'm in love with some dumbass who" you paused smiling to yourself over the irony "Probably won't even remember this ever happened, but I don't care I'll say it as many times as I have to for you to believe me," you took a breath looking him in the eyes
"Craig, I love you."
He took a moment to just stare at you with his hands moving gently to cup your face. You saw him start leaning in and your eyes slowly closed. The next thing you knew you felt his entire body weight on you as he leaned too far forward toppling you both to the floor. Clyde was laughing his ass off, it was such a dramatic confession followed by Craig's dumb drunken ass going in for a hug. Maybe it was you who misread the vibe you thought he was going in for a kiss regardless you were both on the floor. Craig nuzzled into your neck for security muttering something incoherent but probably along the lines of "I didn't want you to hate me again" or something like that you couldn't tell. In any case Craig was being a child as you tried get up from the floor. He refused to let you out of his embrace which was cute and endearing for the first few minutes but people were starting to stare and you weren't used to him doing this especially when he was using your shoulders to dry his tears.
"Okay I think you need to go home." You both slowly got up from off the ground. He was still putting his full body weight on you and you fell against the couch almost on top of Clyde.
"Yeah I think he needs to go home."
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