#eddie asking if bucks hurt and only passing out after buck says no

[wannabemylover]

I'm sorry, but Eddie was shot in broad daylight and thought, "this is it, this is the last moment of my life," and he reached for Buck. He thought he was dying, and all he could do was look at Buck and reach.

[hotshotsxyz]

7x10 coda. beware the spoilers

Three months pass, and Eddie still isn’t used to it. It’s too quiet at home, and too awful at work, and he still grabs two bowls every morning even though he’s the only one eating.

He thinks about quitting, again. Leaving behind Captain Asshole and following Christopher to Texas. He knows he can’t. He’d promised. Eddie clenches his fists and forces himself to finish buttoning his uniform.

He sends Christopher a text, the same one he sends every morning, then shuts his phone in his locker.

“Line up in five,” Gerrard bellows from the loft. “If you’re late, you’ll be scrubbing the rig with a toothbrush, no exceptions.”

Eddie stands mechanically and walks over to the bay.

Another day, another goddamn reason to bury himself in blankets and hide until the world ends.

Buck invites him over for dinner most nights, or offers to go home with him. Eddie says no more than he says yes, but Buck… Buck’s always known Eddie better than he knows himself. He doesn’t stop asking.

“C’mon Eddie, it’ll be fun—you, me and Tommy, we can come up with ways to drive Gerrard insane.”

Buck looks at him, soft and imploring, an expression Eddie rarely knows how to refuse. But despite everything that’s happened, Buck’s managed to carve out a small sliver of happiness, and Eddie doesn’t want to drag him down.

“You go ahead,” he says. “I’m picking up half a shift at  the 136 tomorrow. Need to get some sleep.”

It’s true and it’s not. He is picking up the shift, but he doubts he’ll sleep.

He goes back to therapy, but he never knows what to say. It was all—everything was in his head, last time. It’s not, now. It’s all real, and it all hurts, and no amount of talking about it makes it hurt any less. He says as much to Frank.

“Then why are you here?” Frank asks.

Eddie looks away. “I don’t know,” he says.

That’s not quite true either.

Kim calls him, and Marisol doesn’t. She leaves voicemail after voicemail, apologizing for that night. Eddie can never bring himself to answer the phone. Eventually, he blocks her number.

He texts his own apology to Marisol, but it never goes through. It’s probably for the best—he doubts the message would’ve made either of them feel better.

Eddie needs—he doesn’t know. Before, he would’ve said time. Now though, he’s got all the time in the world, and he’s desperate to get rid of it.

Buck calls. Eddie can’t answer him, either. He lets it ring out, then listens to the voicemail.

“Hey Eds, it’s me. I uh—just wanted to check in. It’s been a couple days. Call me when you can.”

Eddie tells himself he will, but he has no idea when that’ll be.

Christopher doesn’t text him, but he does text Buck.

Eddie never asks what he says, and Buck usually doesn’t offer to tell him.

“Just—he’s okay, right?”

Buck smiles, a little bit sad, and leans into Eddie’s space. “He’s okay,” he says. “He misses you, even if he’s not ready to tell you that.”

Tears streak down Eddie’s face before he even realizes he’s crying. Buck wipes one away and pulls him against his chest.

“What if he never comes home,” Eddie whispers into the soft material of Buck’s sweater.

“He will,” Buck replies. “He will.”

Good morning, Eddie texts on the one hundred and second day since Christopher left. I love you, and I hope you have a good day.

He drops his phone on the table and tries not to hope for a response. A second later, though, it dings. Eddie’s heart leaps into his throat as he scrambles to open the message.

Morning, Dad.

[happyhauntt]

a touch of colour — eddie diaz.

writing masterlist | askbox

─── summary: eddie and chris' home is freakishly empty. you decide to redecorate a little.

─── pairing: eddie diaz x reader.

─── warnings & notes: fluffy fluff. no use of y/n, this was just supposed to be a short drabble but it ran aay from me and eddie might seem a little ooc but i don't even care it's so cute.

─── word count: 2.7k.

     “BUCK, CAN I BORROW YOUR KEY to Eddie’s place, please?”

     Your arrival at the station house isn’t preceded by any warning, and though it isn’t your intention to sneak up on Buck, he doesn’t seem to hear you coming. A panicked shriek tears itself from his throat as he drops what he’s holding, and the spray bottle full of cleaning fluid clatters to the floor at your feet.

     An amused smile curls at your lips as he tries to play it off, ducking his head to hide the embarrassment blossoming in bright red spots across his cheeks.

     “Uh, hey.” The words stumble out of Buck and he coughs, trying to recover what remains of his dignity. “You know, sneaking up on people isn’t good for your health. What if I’d panicked and thrown a punch or something?”

     You quirk an eyebrow at him. “You did panic, Buck. Seems like it’s worse for your health than mine. Key, please?”

     “Eddie’s just up in the loft, I can grab him if you want.”

     It’s your turn to look a little sheepish. “Please don’t. It’s a surprise. Or it will be a surprise, if you let me borrow your key. I’ll return it tomorrow, I promise, and I’m not going to let a bunch of raccoons loose in there or anything━”

     Buck blinks. The hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, just enough to let you know that he’s teasing. Mostly. “I wasn’t worried, but now I am.”

     “I’m saving the raccoons for your apartment, actually,” you tell him, and now you’re not even really asking anymore, know that Buck will inevitably break because you’re Eddie’s girlfriend, and he actually likes you, and most importantly, his insatiable curiosity will not allow him to deny you. Hand outstretched, you wiggle your fingers expectantly. “Key, please.”

     He huffs at you as if you’ve asked him to scale Mount Everest in nothing but swim trunks, rather than the perfectly reasonable request you’ve actually made, and makes a show of tugging the key to Eddie’s house off the keyring before passing it along to you.

     “I have only one condition,” says Buck, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he presses the key into your palm.

     You watch him warily. You’ve been dating Eddie, and subsequently been acquainted with Buck, long enough to recognise that look. “What?”

     “Whatever you’re doing, make sure you film his reaction. I’ve got a funny feeling he’s gonna freak out.”

     A nervous laugh bubbles in your throat, and you can’t help rolling your lips together as you pocket the key. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Eddie Diaz isn’t overly fond of surprises, but… fuck, you hope this one goes down well.

      “I’ll keep you posted, Buck.” You offer him a two-fingered salute and turn on your heel, hurrying out of the firehouse before Eddie catches you sneaking around.

      What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?

     Here’s the thing.

     The first time Eddie invited you back to his place, you hadn’t really seen it. A euphoric haze had clouded all rational thought in your brain, because this brilliant guy you’d fallen head over heels for was so obviously guarded, and you’d been so happy the day he’d kissed you and invited you back to his place for coffee.

     You’d been dating for three months by that point, and you’d wandered in and out of his house without really seeing anything except for him.

     Meeting Christopher had gone much the same way. On the drive over you’d been rattling with nerves so much that you’d had to pull over on the freeway and shake out the cramp in your hand after white-knuckling the steering wheel. Your heart had thudded so hard in your chest that you worried Eddie would be able to hear it from the other side of the room.

     There had been nothing to worry about, in the end, and almost a year on, you’re certain that neither of these boys can be pried out of the space they’ve created in your heart. Somehow, without really noticing, the pair of them have made a home there, built on a foundation of blood and muscle and all the love in your body.

     You’re not sure your heart would know how to beat without them now.

      And you love them, you love them, you love them both with everything you have…

     … but this damn house is driving you insane.

     There’s nothing wrong with it, in particular. It’s small and functional, perfect for the little family it shelters. Beige walls, basic furniture, sparse decorations that Eddie definitely had nothing to do with, and that’s sort of… it.

     Now, you’re not an interior decorator, and you’d managed to miss it the first few times you visited, but now it’s like the blank walls are mocking you. Now you’ve seen it, you know, and the stark bleakness of this house has become a glaringly obvious problem that you’ve finally decided to tackle.

     Unlocking the door with Buck’s key, you manage to nudge it open with your hip, hands and wrists weighed down with Target shopping bags that you dump on the floor the moment the door is closed. Tucking Buck’s key back into your pocket ━ Eddie gave you a key almost six months ago, but you’ve managed to lose four of them since, so it’s widely agreed that it’s best you borrow Eddie’s or Buck’s or Carla’s whenever you need to ━ you turn to the sparse open space of the kitchen/diner.

     Hands settling on your hips, a slow breath escapes through your teeth as you survey the house. Christopher’s room is the only one with any personality, and you wouldn’t dare intrude on his privacy in that way anyway. Eddie’s room, similarly, feels off-limits.

     But the rest of the house? Fair game.

     When Eddie stumbles through the front door at the end of his shift, he doesn’t notice it right away. Not your bag hanging on a hook by the door, or your shoes tucked neatly against the wall. His head feels like it’s filled with cotton after a twelve-hour shift, and he’s simply grateful that Carla offered to drop Christopher off later, rather than have Eddie come pick him up after his shift.

     He doesn’t notice you lingering in the kitchen with a bottle of beer in your hand until you clear your throat, and then he looks over, and a tired smile spreads over his face.

     “That for me?” he asks, as hold out the beer bottle towards him, drops of condensation soaking your fingers.

     “It’s definitely not for me.” You wrinkle your nose playfully as he accepts the drink, and you lean over the counter to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. You hand over Buck’s key, and with it, all the anxiety you’ve felt since it first landed in your possession that morning. “Give this back to Buck for me? If I lose another one, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

     Eddie chuckles and tucks the key into his pocket. “Buck didn’t mention you came by the firehouse.”

     “I asked him not to.” Your voice wavers, just a little. The way you’re picking at a loose bit of skin near your thumb lets him know you’re nervous, and he reaches out with his free hand, curling rough fingers around your own. Unable to help yourself, a deluge of words start to babble out of you. “I did a thing. And I’m aware that you may not like the thing, and it almost certainly wasn’t my place which I’m realising now, but it seemed like a pretty harmless idea at the time?”

     “Baby━”

     “And if you hate it, I can take it all away! We can pretend I never did it, it’s just that your walls were driving me freaking insane, like which decorator decided that beige was a good base colour because I would like to have a word━”

     “Hey!” A gentle squeeze of your hand grabs your attention, and when you look back at Eddie, the sight of him knocks the breath of you. You never knew eyes could be so big and brown and full of love, and even though there’s a little humour glinting in there at your expense, you still find it a little difficult to breathe.

     Fuck, you love this man.

     “What am I supposed to hate, exactly?” There’s a lilt of laughter in his voice, a gentle quirk to the corner of his mouth.

     You want to kiss him until it blossoms into a full-blown grin. You hope you’re lucky enough to make this man laugh forever.

     The look on his face helps to ease the tension in your shoulders. Slowly, you reach out and take the beer bottle from his grip, setting it on the counter. Instead, you replace it with your own hand, threading your fingers through his, a little chilly where the bottle pressed against his skin.

     “Let me show you.”

     Guiding him by the hand, you lead him through to the living room, and at first, he’s not sure what’s changed. There’s still the couch, and the TV, and the coffee table he knows you’ve always hated because it’s glass, and who has a glass coffee table, Eddie, you're a firefighter and this feels like a recipe for disaster!

     (You’ve seen way too many movies where characters end up crashing through a glass coffee table but you still think it’s a valid point.)

     And then he sees them.

     He spots the first one next to the television; a picture of Chris from a few months ago, the first time all three of you went to the beach together. He’s grinning at the camera and there’s a dab of ice-cream on his nose from where you swiped him just a moment before. Eddie remembers taking this and sending it to you.

     It wasn’t the first moment he realised he loved you, not by a long shot, but he hadn’t said it yet, and that day on the beach had cemented your place in his heart even further.

     The picture is small, sitting in a quirky silver frame that you’ve glued a few seashells to.

     The next two are over on the mantel. A photograph of the 118 in Bobby and Athena’s backyard last summer; Bobby’s frowning in the foreground, having been bullied into wearing a Kiss The Cook apron by Buck and Hen, while the rest of them are howling with laughter behind him. The other is a picture of Christopher and Shannon cuddled together beneath the Christmas tree.

     Tucked between them, bizarrely, is a little wooden figurine of a runner duck wearing galoshes. This one, he knows, came from your personal collection.

     Eddie’s heart stutters in his chest as he turns, finally, to the big thing. The wall behind the couch has always been depressingly bare, a dull expanse of beige paint that he’s always sworn he’d do something with, eventually.

     Hell, the whole house is bare. And depressing. This, he’s ready to admit, even if the reason for it used to sting a little bit.

     Before now, the only personal touches in his home belonged to Christopher. Report cards and drawings stuck to the fridge with kitschy magnets from tourist spots. An ever-changing pile of video games stacked on the floor next to the TV. A dinosaur-print throw that was dragged from Christopher’s bedroom on a lazy Sunday that hasn’t quite managed to migrate back there yet.

     It was never that way on purpose. At first, he thinks, it was a reluctance to put down roots. Life was hectic enough, with his work schedule and Christopher switching schools. Before Carla, Eddie hardly had a moment to breathe, let alone think about decorating their home beyond the bare minimum required to get by.

     And then, he thinks, it might have been guilt.

     He doesn’t dare to dwell on that for too long. He feels your hand in his own, steady as a rock, and stares, glassy-eyed, at the wall you’ve managed to transform into something… something that feels like home.

     A collage of wooden picture frames are scattered over the surface of the wall, in varying hues of warmth that contrast nicely with the beige that peeks through the cracks. A beige that, formerly, kind of made him want to scratch his eyes out. He hadn’t quite realised that until now.

     Dozens of smiling faces peer down at him. A handful of memories he holds most dear, and each of them sends a flush of warmth through his chest.

     There’s the day Chris was born, and he’s staring at this tiny baby in his arms as if he’s holding the sun and stars themselves. There’s Buck and Chris at the zoo, posing near the penguin exhibit. There’s Eddie, on the day he was certified as a full-fledged member of the LAFD, shaking Bobby’s hand. There’s even a picture where he’s fallen asleep on the couch, and his sisters are brandishing Sharpies like the little demons they are, drawing a moustache and beard that took days to properly fade away.

     It’s such a little thing, really. They’re just pictures. But his throat feels tight and his eyes are wet and it doesn’t feel little to him. Not at all.

     “You thought I’d hate this?” He’ll never admit that the words come out a little choked up.

     You shrug. “You’re not a fan of surprises.”

     “I might be now.”

     And you both know it’s not true, that Eddie will never be that guy, but this is fine. This is perfect, and he’s damn sure it might be the nicest thing any girlfriend’s ever done for him.

     He turns to you, a thousand more questions on the tip of his tongue, when he notices you’re holding your phone up with your free hand. A confused furrow appears between his brows.

     “Buck,” you tell him, and it really doesn’t require further explanation, but still you add, “He thought you’d freak out. Asked for evidence.”

     “Ah.” Eddie nods. You put your phone away as he winds his arms around your waist, pulling you close enough to kiss the tip of your nose. “I’m not freaking out.”

     “I noticed.”

     “Thank you,” he says, and kisses you again. This time his mouth slides against yours and lingers there for a few seconds, slow and gentle. “I can’t help but notice you’re not in any of the pictures.”

     Your cheeks turn a rosy pink. “That would have been a little presumptuous of me, Mr. Diaz. And I was already hijacking your home for my own selfish agenda, so…”

     “Wanna hijack it some more?”

     The question slips out without any warning, and you blink up at your boyfriend in bewilderment. “Uh?”

     Eddie smiles, wide and wonderful, and even though it’s not possible to fall more in love with him, you think you do.

     “I talked to Chris about it a while ago,” he tells you, his thumb rubbing slow circles against your hip. “I was just waiting for the right time to ask you. And then you went all House Flipper anyway━”

     “I did not go all House Flipper!”

     “━ so it feels like the right time to ask.”

     You watch him for a moment, all soft at the edges. “You want me to move in with you?”

     “I think you’ve got a tartan throw that would look great in here,” he says teasingly, “and that little duck is part of a collection. He might get lonely.”

     “He might,” you concede with a hum.

     There is enough space on that mantel for the whole family.

     You feel like there’s a tiny sun in your chest, like you might honest-to-God be glowing from the inside out right now, and when you pull Eddie down so you can kiss him again, you know without a doubt that the answer is yes.

     There are a hundred things to figure out. You have a lease to get out of, and an apartment filled with enough clutter to furnish ten houses, and you’ve really got to figure out a solution for the key situation, because it’s getting ridiculous.

     But in this moment, none of that matters. It’s you, and Eddie, and Chris, and a bare apartment suddenly filled with a lifetime of potential, and you just know everything is going to be fine.

     And you hope, for a moment, that he’ll let you replace the couch next.

[bibewilderedandbuck]

Imagine Buck saying “i love you” first and for the first time Tommy feels behind. He feels like maybe they are moving too fast.

Then he has a talk with some of his team. They’re not AS close as the 118 but they put their life in each others hand’s on the regular and that counts for something.

Andy asks Tommy about last week, when Buck was complaining about his apartment being so far so they started talking about moving in together? Aubree mentions how much he jokes about buying a ring for his beau, and Tommy sits back because he does joke a lot about (he hasn't spoken to Evan directly about it but anytime the kid does something sweet he asks him his ring size). Lucy mentions the time they spend talking and texting, she calls it nauseating with a wink, but Tommy doesn't remember the last time he wanted another person in contact with him at all times and who returned the feeling tenfold.

And after all, with their job they could die any day. He sits in his kitchen and replays the moment Evan said it again and again: "I know I'm dragging you through milestones like a cat with a mouse, and I want to let you know that you don't have to say it back. But I love you, Tommy. You mean a lot to me and I'm so happy we met."

Nine months is the longest relationship Tommy has ever had. And he still wishes he could spend every waking second with Evan.

By the end of the night he's barging into Buck's apartment and sticking his tongue in the younger man's mouth. He stands back and pushes his chest up and smiles and says "I love you too, Evan."

Buck is laughing, he's smiling and kissing his boyfriend back and hugging him tight. He can feel Tommy's heart racing when he puts his hand to Tommy's chest. He expected it to take longer. He'd heard about all the ways Tommy had been hurt before. But in the end it only took a day

then they hear a flush and Eddie walks out of the bathroom. He's smiling because Buck's loft is Not Big and he might have heard every word. For just a moment, they all stand in silence not uncomfortable per say but definitely charged.

Then Eddie says "I love you too, bro." Buck lovingly rolls his eyes and Tommy is cracking up. If it were anyone else he'd probably feel embarrassed but Eddie has shared friendly declarations of love before and its not uncommon for the L word to be passed around a 118 dinner party like hors d'oeuvres.

[myimaginarywonderland]

I present to you:

Tommy and Josh are friends. Somehow after some calls they got friendly and at one point decided to just hang out after exchanging numbers and texting for a while. They clicked. They found out they both were gay and it's so easy to finally have a friend that gets it.

So at one of their hangouts after the hurrican thing Tommy talks about the stunt the 118 pulled and he is like making fun before he talks about this guy being a literal golden retriever, trying to encourage the them and Josh just laughs and says "That's Buck alright." And Tommy just slowly turns to Josh with a look, a look that Josh has come to know and Josh goes "No Tommy, no."

And Tommy is all like "I didn't even say anything!"

And Josh is like "I get it trust me. First few times I meet him, I also crushed but that man is straight and also a giant idiot. His heart is too big and he wouldn't know how to turn you down. As his friend, I am telling you do not."

And Tommy goes "fine" and then they continue on with Tommy telling Josh about meeting up with Eddie and Josh makes a joke about the two army guys obviously bonding.

Cut to like three weeks later (They have both had different shift schedules and Josh has helped Maddie with the wedding) and they meet up after the restaurant date and Josh can sense something is wrong with his friend.

He wants to probe but Tommy just says "Thought I had a chance with a cute guy bit turns out he wasn't ready for something" and Josh gets it. He's been there, it sucks sometimes and he just offers his friend a shoulder to lean.

Another two weeks pass and when they meet up again Tommy is smiling. Like his nose scrunch smile which he only does when he is really smitten and Josh has truly only seen it once. So he immediately goes into questioning mood but Tommy just laughs and says "You know that cute guy? I think he is ready" but he won't elaborate further. And Josh is trying but Tommy just keeps giving vague answers and wow, Josh truly has never seen Tommy like this and feels a swell of happiness because whoever has his friend smiling like that better be good and worth it.

Josh also coincidentally has a meet up with the Buckley-Han family (they are already married to him basically) and he notices how Buck is glancing at his phone a lot and having this goofy smile and wow. He makes a joke about Buck having found a new girlfriend and Buck sort of freezes and now Josh feels bad but then he smiles such a soft smile it kind of hits him in the chest when he says "I am seeing someone and I am really happy." Cut to Chim wanting to probe but Buck not bugging and Josh just feeling happy for his friend. Maddie suddenly turns and ask "Did you want to bring them to the wedding?" and Buck kind of sheepishly replies "I already invited them." And Maddie softly chuckles talking about how gone her brother is and Josh is suddenly aware that Buck is using only they/them which isn't weird but it's not how Buck usually talks.

And Chim pipes up and says "With how much time you have been spending talking complaining about Tommy before, I have no idea where you suddenly got a date" and OMG.

Buck flushes a bit, Maddie laughs and Josh slaps a hand over his mouth to stop a giggle coming out.

Buck notices of course he does and when they are done later he pulls Josh aside and wants to talk but Josh just throws himself at Buck, hugging him.

"If you break his heart as his friend I have to hurt you. But as your friend, I couldn't be more happier for you" to which Buck kind of melts, chuckles and returns the hug.

On the way home, after some more heartfelt words because he knows how difficult and hard this can be, Josh stops the car at Tommy's flat, knocks up a storm and pushes past Tommy only to explode in the hallway as soon as the door is closed.

"YOU ARE DATING EVAN BUCKLEY AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME!"

And Tommy is a bit flabbergasted and laughs to which Josh kind of gets upset and says "I love you, I am fully in support of your relationship, I couldn't be happier, he is a catch but damn, are you telling me I could have had a chance?"

Which just causes a ridiculous laughing and giggling fit between two grown ass adults that Josh and Tommy will be happy to deny ever happened.

[shaunashipman]

Eddie was definitely more queercoded than Buck. He is written as a repressed gay man in comphet relationships. Buck's queercoding mostly consisted of one-off jokes while Eddie's has been baked into all of his romantic storylines. Also no one is saying he's gay because he treats women poorly. The reason he inadvertently hurts his partners is because he is trying to force himself into relationships that will never work. Calling that homophobic is laughable because so many gay men have dated women as beards which obviously ends up hurting the women. It's just a fact. It's honestly homophobic the way so many bucktommy shippers are obsessed with eddie being straight even when a multitude of gay people see themselves in him. Or does the gay male perspective only matter when in concerns tommy lol

ok, I wasn't even going to get into this. idc if you see eddie is queer, that's your prerogative. but you brought this into my inbox.

to start with, there are plenty of bucktommy shippers who also think eddie is gay. and the ones who don't are not obsessed with eddie being straight, we're just tired of it being touted as the only possible reading and if you don't get that then you're stupid. kind of like how they are with buddie

also buck's queercoding has not been one-off jokes, y'all just seem to think that queercoding that isn't angsty is being played for jokes.

but let's get into the queercoding of eddie

"baked into all his romantic storylines" all 3 of them? that gigantic number? let's go through them.

shannon. yes, only married because they got pregnant. but they got pregnant through having sex, which eddie was shown, multiple times, to enjoy having with shannon, a woman. she left him (not going deeply into her reasons, I've talked about what I think of shannn and her leaving) and eddie's response was to devote himself to being a father, then moved across country to the same place she was, implicitly because he wanted to make up with her, but couldn't work up the courage until forced. when he did contact her, his initial refusal to let her see chris was both because he didn't yet trust her again with chris and because he didn't trust her with himself. while deciding whether or not to let her see chris, they were fucking like bunnies. again, that eddie was shown very much to enjoy, to the point that it is explicitly something he fantasized about in s7. after he let her see chris again, we didn't see as much of them, but what we did see was the actions of a normal couple. then she said she thought she was pregnant and he re-proposed. could it be that eddie simply felt trapped again? sure. but if that were the case he could have simply not began a relationship with her again to start with. he had the excuse ready baked in of "we need to focus on chris". then she turned out not to be pregnant, asked for a divorce and died, and he's spent the last 5-15 years mourning and pining for her.

ana. initially met as a teacher at chris' school who eddie had an immediate crush on. didn't go anywhere that season because she was chris' teacher. when they met again eddie's only hesitance to date her was framed as trauma from shannon divorcing him and dying. then we get to s5 and his panic attack. which most took as being about the "ready-made family". I took as, the shop worker called ana chris' mom, chris' mom died, ana could die, cue panic attack. the only part of this relationship that I can remotely see as being indicative of sexual repression is how the break up went, which could also just be a result of his slow breakdown which had already been cooking for several months.

marisol. who eddie perused after he got out of the date his tía set up, talked to some people and decided he was ready to date again. then we didn't really see them again until the nun episode. also the point where so many ignored the majority of the ep just because eddie was talking about religion. also basically the only time religion has come up for eddie in more than passing, despite religious repression supposedly playing a large role in his queercoding. again, a relationship where eddie is shown to enthusiastically enjoy sex with women. his sudden hesitance to have sex with marisol was completely about her having been a nun, which if anything is about the madonna/whore complex, not about eddie's sexuality. and then eddie fucks up the relationship due to the shannon!doppler, because he's still in love with shannon NOT because he's closeted.

so where is the plethora of queercoding in all his relationships? and if all his relationships are comphet, but he's never shown an attraction to men (and he hasn't, not objectively, because him "looking" at buck is not attraction) why is him being gay the only option? what about asexual? or aromantic? or even bisexual, since as I've pointed out, he clearly enjoys sex with women.

also his poor treatment of the women he dates can very easily be traced to him growing up in a very patriarchal household, where dad works to the detriment of not knowing his kids, mom's job is to take care of the kids, and he as the only boy was delegated to the "man of the house" at a very young age. an extremely common family dynamic, and one that despite working on in other aspects, eddie clearly still ascribes to in some way, by how he's continuously looking for a wife and a mother, not a partner. could be that he's gay, could be that he was raised in a misogynistic world.

If you see him as gay, great, good for you. but to insist that that's the only correct view is wrong. and since you ended with an "lol" showing how seriously you take this, I'm gonna end with this

ryan, the one who plays eddie, has said multiple times now that eddie is heterosexual. and before you start, oliver at no point ever referred to buck as straight before the bisexual arc so 🤷‍♀️

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, I keep posting around what I actually wanna say about Buck, Eddie, and the parallel love lives, and, well, their love lives have been written as parallel but misaligned, but I don't think they are that misaligned anymore. Or at least they are the closest they have ever been. Abby and Shannon both serve as the first love who left and never gave them real closure, Abby left, forced Buck to leave her, came back and didn't admit to anything, just continued to force Buck to deal with it on his own, and Shannon left, only came back because Eddie asked her to, and she died right after asking for a divorce, so she never gave Eddie time to process the idea of permanently letting go of her before he was forced to do it on his own, and they are the love they keep reliving, because they were forced to find that closure on their own and they can't. Eddie because he is actively chasing Shannon and Buck because he is trapped in the same structure as his relationship with Abby, meeting because of work, the other person starts it, they leave at some point, at most times it feels like Buck is more in it than the other person. Buck gets a whole apartment because of Ali, Taylor was never as intense as we knew she could be about Buck, Natalia ran away because of who he is, Tommy doesn't seem to be putting in as much effort as he could. Ana, Marisol, and Kim and Ali, Taylor, Natalia, and Tommy, they get scrambled in the parallels between themselves though. I think mostly because where Buck needs time, Eddie needs intensity. Buck will realize stuff if you give him enough time, Eddie will only realize shit if it slaps him in the face. And Eddie's breakups tend to be Eddie's fault, where Buck breakups are usually because the other person does something. So one to one parallels are hard to draw, but they are there. Ana and Ali both are relationships that started because people keep telling them it was time to move on. Natalia and Marisol show up in their lives because of a call that wasn't about them, and they go out because they actually want to ask them out. Tommy and Kim both give the impression of it being about someone else, Kim is a carbon copy of Shannon, Tommy is presented to us as very similar to Eddie and he also parallels other Buck li, and there's also the way Eddie doesn't really want to date Kim and Buck and Tommy have the conversation about taking things slow. Taylor exists in a different situation because Eddie doesn't really have a multiseason love interest, Ana has a lot less episodes, so it's hard to compare the introductions, but Taylor and Ana parallel each other with the being introduced in an episode their family gets hurt, the whole thing with the brownies and Bobby and Chris and the skateboard, and the hurting Buck and Eddie part comes from their jobs, Taylor wants to capitalize on Bobby's addiction and Ana was the teacher responsible for making sure Chris stays safe, I think even the way Taylor's camera man teases them and the way Carla teases Eddie about Ana, structure wise Taylor and Ana are introduced in a similar way, and then coming back into their lives in unrelated circumstances, Taylor happens to be covering a scene Buck is working on and Eddie runs into Ana again during an unrelated call and later asking them out because of peer pressure. Ali, Ana, Taylor, and Marisol also parallel each other with being someone they meet while working and then start dating after a period of time has passed unlike Natalia. Taylor, Ana, and Natalia all get treated by them and that's interesting when they are not actually paramedics. There are a bunch of parallels between Natalia and Ana when it comes to conversations Buck and Eddie have with them too.

Kim parallels Taylor with the way both of them create chaos in their personal lives, Kim ends up making Chris want to leave and causes the breakup with Marisol, Taylor continues to try to capitalize on Buck's family even in a situation where their lives were actually at stake (and Chim is family in a more traditional way, now obviously because he's Buck's brother in law but at the time because he's the father of Buck's niece, and it is interesting that Chim leaves and actively wants to be as far away as possible from Buck and Chris is trying to get as far away as possible from Eddie, and I know the Chim's situation is not about Buck, but the person getting hurt the most over Taylor/Kim actions actually leaves the state while wanting to stay away from Buck/Eddie after finding out they were keeping something from them, which is something).

So the storyline parallels between all the love interests are there, but the things that's been getting me the most right now are the lines you can draw between Tommy and Kim. Because the thing is, while Eddie is actively chasing Shannon, I believe that Buck has let the Abby ship sail, but they are both looking in familiarity for something they already have with each other. With familiarity I mean the way Tommy parallels all of Buck's love interests, including Eddie, and the way Kim literally looks familiar. But also the way neither would have a chance of working long term because of that familiarity. Eddie can never bring Kim into his life, so that relationship would forever be surface level, and so far no real depth has been added to Buck and Tommy even though the show had opportunities to do so. Both Tommy and Kim presented Buck and Eddie with something they wanted but weren't fully aware of until they slammed into them, with Buck is the general concept of attraction to men he couldn't understand on his own and with Eddie, he didn't fully confront the way he still wants something from Shannon, that being more time, closure, or just the general feeling of grief that sometimes gets so unbearable you just want it to stop for a little bit and Kim was enough to trick his brain so it would stop for a second, I don't know, but she was offering something. But either way Eddie is finally at a point where he might actually look around to try and find out what he wants, because he was forced to confront the ghost of Shannon and Chris is not there, so he's at a point where he has enough puzzle pieces to realize that what he wants is the life he already has with Buck, the same way Buck can trip into the realization he already built his idea of love with someone, he just didn't understand Eddie is also an option. I think both of them work as a way to expand Buck and Eddie's dating pool, Eddie beyond what's expected from him, a mother for Chris, and Buck beyond women. So I think this is the closest they've ever been to actually being able to stumble into each other.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | May 12th-19th 2024

Had a wonderful long weekend with a friend, what about you guys? Anyone else super nervous about this week's episode? 😅

Complete

all roads lead to eddie diaz by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (S7, BuckTommy, Pre-Buddie | 1,2K | General): eddie and tommy have a revelatory conversation about the buck of it all.

another thing i forced to be a sign by bellabrady (Post-7x07: Ghost of a Second Chance | 2K | Not Rated): Or: Buck finds out about Kim, which leads to him calling Eddie out on the pattern with relationships.

🔥 I hang on every word you say by ColorMeParanoid/ @color-me-paranoid (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): “I couldn’t help but notice how hesitant you’ve been about getting back onto the dating scene despite saying that you’re ready,” Buck said, going for nonchalant and likely missing it by the mile. “I figured a little boost in confidence and a crash course in how to pull off a perfect first date wouldn’t hurt.” Or, the one in which Buck assumes Eddie sucks at dating and decides to do something about it

just release me, i can't take it by actualalligator/ @actualalligator (Post-Lawsuit | 5K | General): After the fight in the grocery store, Buck withdraws the lawsuit and leaves town. Maybe for good.

i'll look after you by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Buck&Chris | 6K | Teen): “You don’t have to kiss it, Mads,” he started telling her around ten years old. Maddie would ruffle his hair and scoff. “Of course I do, punk. How else will it seal the deal?” It was the only comfort he knew. It’s also the only tradition he can pass down to Chris. or: buck and chris building their own set of traditions throughout the years

how forever feels by icesculptures/ @ice-sculptures (Madney Wedding AU, Getting Together | 8K | General): Or: tired of the growing distance between them, Eddie asks Buck to dance at Maddie and Chimney's wedding, healing more than his own heart along the way.

🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 22K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.

WIP

🔥 some things fall when they're meant to fall by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Post S7E5 | 2/4 | 11K | Teen): or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 5/6 | 14K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 5/10 | 39K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?

🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 11/12 | 26K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 15/? | 126K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 2/? | 10K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 Steal My Sunshine by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Altered Memories | 5/9 | 15K | Mature): Memories hazy and unreliable, Eddie Diaz wakes up every morning in a house at the end of a cul de sac, goes to his office job at a petroleum engineering company, and comes home to his wife and son. But something is missing, and the more Eddie begins to put the pieces together, the stranger the predicament he finds himself in. 

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] maybe i'll be brave enough by then by Silverkat1620/ @silverkat1620 // fic by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Amnesia | 20-30min | Teen): “So,” Eddie starts, taking a long sip. “How long have I had the ring?” Hen chokes on her coffee. “I’m sorry,” she says, eyes wide behind her glasses. “What ring?” or: an amnesia au (with a twist).

🔥 [Podfic] Fire on Fire by Itty_Bitty_Blondie/ @itty-bitty-blondie for extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Quarantine, S4 | 30-45min | Teen): "You’re sleeping with him.” “I’m not—” Eddie rolls his eyes and corrects himself halfway through. “I’m not sleeping with him like that, okay?” Sophia looks at him for a long moment as her gaze turns from teasing to thoughtful. “But you want to be. Right?” [Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.]

🔥 [Podfic] Here, Beneath My Lungs by Itty_Bitty_Blondie for glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (First Kiss | 5K | Teen): “Okay, okay, come on, let’s do this,” Buck says, in a trying-to-be-serious tone that just sets Eddie off again. “Come on, we’re gonna do this right. You need the full Buckley Experience.” “Someone’s confident,” Eddie manages. “I know what I’m good at,” Buck says, and something about the way he says it—grinning and smug with laughter still leaking out of the edges of his smile—makes Eddie go still.

🔥 [podfic] not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) by Matriaya // fic by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Getting Together | 45-60min | General): Buck shakes his head and grimaces apologetically at Marisol. "I'm so sorry for interrupting your night," he tells her. "I'm gonna leave you guys to it, but it was nice to see you again." "Nice to see you too," Marisol replies with a smile. "Sorry again," he addresses this one to Eddie. "I didn't think. I just—" "You thought Chris needed you," Eddie says softly, eyes so warm Buck wants to stay here forever. "Don't apologise for that." "Right, well." Buck takes a deep breath to calm his still pounding heart before saluting at Christopher. "Forever at your service, Superman." He backs out of the kitchen in an exaggerated bow, ducking to hide his smile when Christopher's laugh follows him out.

🔥 [podfic] brick by Itty_Bitty_Blondie/ @itty-bitty-blondie // fic by spqr (Post-Coma, S6, Getting Together | 1-1.5h | Explicit): The first thing Buck noticed when he walked through the door was the smell of plaster and wet paint. There was a white spot on the wall in the living room, primered but without any color yet, about the size of a man’s fist. Eddie looked sheepish. His knuckles were still bruised, scabbed over but healing. “You were in a coma,” was all he said. “Yeah,” Buck agreed. He knew the feeling.

🔥 [Podfic] I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for extasiswings/ @extasiswings , letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (S2-3, Friends With Benefits, BDSM | 7-10h | Explicit): When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea. Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right? There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Inspiration Saturday

thanks to this post by @fakemouthstatics I was thinking a lot about this au where Tommy and Buck are fwb in college but then they are broke up because Buck said he's falling for Tommy. 5 years without seeing each other and they met again in 118 again with a new chance. would they take it? (ofc they would , but they would be stupid first)

anyway moodboard and Buck talking to Eddie (buddie will be big platonic part of fic)(it's from chapter 3 and really big possibility I'll rewrite it, but I had this dialogue in my head and should have written it)

“What is the story between you and Tommy?” Eddie opens the bottle and passes it to him.

“It's…” Buck sighs, not surprised his new friend caught the slight tension between him and Tommy. Still he would prefer not to talk about it. “It’s complicated. And I-I can't tell you without sharing info about Tommy I just can't, because it's not mine to say. Especially knowing how Tommy hides it. But yeah we-we have a story from college and we still are patching our friendship after five years of not seeing each other. It’s … hard,” Buck sums it all with this word even if it doesn’t really give the real description of the situation.

Eddie just nods and opens beer for himself.

“Ok. I understand. No more questions about it,” the man smiles and Buck smiles back, loving the way brown eyes are really sincere and there’s no doubt Eddie will not try to make him talk. “It's cool that you respect his boundaries even if I can say you could be petty about how things ended before.”

Buck shrugs, taking a sip of the beer.

“Yeah, maybe. Maybe some years before w-when the wound was still fresh. But even then I doubt it.” 

Buck never was a petty person, quite opposite Maddie always talked about how he forgives too easily, but he can’t help it. He hates to be angry or have tension with people. He doesn’t like be in bad relationship with anyone. And he hates to be angry at someone he really loves. So he believes he would never try to hurt anyone by outing them. It’s an asshole behavior no matter how your heart was broken. And it’s not like Tommy was leading him on. Buck knew who they were to each other when they started to sleep around. Just friends with benefits. He knew Tommy was not out. And it’s not like Tommy should have fallen for him just because Buck did.

 “I-I love him too much to try and sabotage his life.”

Eddie's eyebrows rise to the hairline, but not from shock, but from a question.

“Love like in love?”

“Y-yeah,” Buck shakes his head. “But not exactly. I was in love with him. Part of me always will. He was my first love and he-he always will be.”

“So was he rude about your feelings to him?” Eddie asks with slight anger in his voice, but his warm brown eyes stays supportive so Buck knows the anger goes only to Tommy’s possible behavior Eddie imagines. 

“Not really, but he-he wasn't the kindest either.”

Eddie nods again and Buck decides it’s time to change the topic.

“Anyway, all this story should stay in the frat house where it happened. Tommy and I are friends again and we are patching it well. So I just wanna think about it. And now I want to know more about you,” Buck turns on the couch to see Eddie better prepare to play 20 questions to get to know each other better.  “Basketball or football?”

Tagging @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @ebdaydreamer @evanbi-ckley @rogerzsteven @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @spotsandsocks @spaceprincessem @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @bibuckbuckley @bekkachaos @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @neverevan @monsterrae1 @bewilderedbuckley @diazsdimples

[midnightstar-90]

Payback

Eddie Diaz x Fem! Reader

Taglist | Request | Wattpad

Main Masterlist | 9-1-1 Masterlist

Request from Ella: Reader either dating Eddie, best friends with Hen or a member of the team. Reader faints and whoever you choose helps out. They’re okay just a scare. Maybe some home cooked food and juice afterwards? Hurt/comfort please. Thank you.

Summary: After fainting, Eddie looks after the reader.

Warnings: Angst, Fainting, Fluff

A/N: My Buck and Eddie fluff and angst fanfics are some of my favorites to write. It’s a shame that there isn’t a lot out there.

Words: 1.1K Words

I walked into my apartment after a long HOT day at work. L.A. had recently been hit with a heatwave, and the office building where I had worked’s AC didn’t help with the 110-degree weather.

I placed my purse on the kitchen counter, along with my keys, before getting a cup out of the cabinet. Before I could even get a drop of water into my cup, I heard a knock at the door. Annoyed, my head fell back as I released a loud groan. With each step I took to open the door, a clicking sound from my heels, meeting the hard flooring, echoed through my apartment.

“Who is it?” I asked, now at the door. 

I heard a male voice call out, “It’s Eddie.” I looked through the peephole, finding that the name and voice matched the face. I opened the door finding Eddie in jeans and a button-down shirt. In his hands, he carried groceries from my local supermarket. 

He looked at me with a smile before his eyes met my face. My face was red, with sweat pouring down my face. “Are you okay?” He asked as I let him in. I went to close the door, stumbling over myself, as I heard the click of my door shut. “Yeah, I’m alright,” I said with a slight slur.

Eddie swiftly placed the groceries down on my kitchen counter, next to my keys and purse, before making his way to me. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You look a little pale,” He said. Eddie placed his hands on each side of my face, observing me to see if I was alright. I nodded my head, “yes,” but Eddie didn’t believe me. “Y/N, your eyes are dilated, your skin is pale, and you’re sweating like crazy. I think you should sit down.”

“Here,” Eddie directed, pulling me over to my couch. He helped me sit down before he said, “I’m going to get you some water.”

I felt myself become dizzy. Black spots took over my vision, and soon it became hard to breathe. “Eddie,” I mumbled loud enough for Eddie to hear. He turned around, and his eyes went wide before all I saw was black.

“She’s going to be just fine, Mr. Diaz,” I heard a voice say, but everything was still black. I tried to open my eyes, but it was no use. Nothing happened. ‘Am I in a coma?’ I asked myself frantically. “Your wife suffers from dehydration, which is common on days like this. She should wake up soon, but we want to keep her a little longer after she wakes up to make sure that nothing else is wrong with her,” the mystery man said.

I heard some shuffling and a door open and close before my eyes began to flutter open. A bright light took over my vision, causing me to groan in discomfort. “Y/N,” I heard next to me. As soon as I was fully conscious, I turned my head to face the voice, only to see Eddie staring down at me in a slight panic. I felt his hand tightly grip mine. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” He said, giving me a sad smile.

“Where am I,” I spoke groggily.

“Well, you passed out, so I brought you to the hospital. You’ve been out for a few hours, but the doctor said that you were fine. You’re just suffering from a case of dehydration,” Eddie said, leaning down to kiss my hand. “I was so worried,” he added.

“This is payback for all those times you’ve almost died on me. This is nothing compared to when you got shot,” I state, earning a small laugh from Eddie. 

“I’m so happy you’re okay. When we get home, I’m going to make that dinner I was going to make earlier, and we can binge any show you want tonight.” I beamed up at Eddie’s words, knowing exactly what we were going to watch tonight.

“Supernatural?” I asked, looking up at Eddie with a gleam of hope in my eye. 

“Sure,” Eddie chuckled at my child-like behavior and nodded his head.

Eddie and I sat in the hospital room for about half an hour before my doctor came back. He took a sample of my blood to make sure everything was fine, and when he came back, he gave me the all clear to go home.

When I got back home, I flopped on the couch. “Ahh,” I moaned. “It feels so good to be home!” I exclaimed, earning a laugh from Eddie.

From the kitchen, Eddie began to speak, “I’m glad you’re happy because I’ve got a very special dinner planned tonight.”

Standing up from the couch, I walked into the kitchen. I went over to Eddie, who was putting pasta into boiling water, and wrapped my arms around his waist. I turned my head and placed my face against his back. “I love you, my husband,” I joked, feeling his muscles tense.

“You heard that?” Eddie asked, his voice shaky.

“I heard what the doctor called me. I assumed you told the doctor that,” I said smugly. 

“They wouldn’t let me back unless we were immediate family, and I panicked,” Eddie spoke as he stirred the pasta.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that,” I mumbled against his back.

“What?”

“Mrs. Diaz,” I responded.

“Maybe one day,” Eddie said, putting a gleeful smile on my face.

When Eddie was done cooking, he made both of our plates and sat them on the table across from each other. He had made spinach and chicken alfredo with garlic bread. I sat at one of the seats where a plate was placed, and Eddie made his way back into the kitchen.

“They didn’t have that supper fancy wine that you like, so I got apple and grape juice,” He said, walking out of the kitchen with two juice containers and two wine glasses.

“Apple,” I said with a laugh.

He poured apple juice into both of our cups before sitting down across from me. My head shook up and down as I spoke with an amused smile. “I’ve got to give it to you, Eddie. This is the most special dinner I’ve ever had,” I said as I sipped my juice.

“Well, I hope so because Chris is gonna be pissed,” He said, sending us into a frenzy. Our laughs echoed through the apartment.

When the laughs began to calm down, Eddie calmly stated, “I love you, Y/N. And I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I love you too, Eddie. And I’m also glad I’m okay, so I can do this.” I stood up. Leaning over the table, I gave Eddie a small kiss on the lips and sat back down. “Now, when can we watch our show?”

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[try-set-me-on-fire]

17 or 18 for the soft prompts?

I went with “walking home”! This takes place after the s6 finale! Send me soft prompts! Find the finished ones on ao3!

Their first date is at 9 PM on an unseasonably warm night in May, and mostly happens because of a long campaign on Christopher's part to convince his father that he's old enough to stay in the house alone for an hour or two.

Or it's because when Buck, nervous, unsure of how much he could retroactively claim, joked that their first date had involved a leg and a bomb Eddie had smiled with something like awe.

Or it's because, half an hour before that, when Buck had finally made it through Eddie's door after two days at Maddie's side, or at Bobby's, or watching Jee, or making sure Hen got home ok, he had poured the cracked open remains of himself into Eddie's arms and Eddie had held him so gently, and then taken Buck’s face in his hands and pressed a careful kiss to the scratches on one side of his forehead, and then to the birthmark on the other, and finally to his lips, and the whole world had tilted from an axis Buck hadn’t known it was leaning on to settle into perfect position.

Anyway. It’s nine o’ clock and Eddie has several broken ribs and as much as Chris insists he’ll be totally absolutely fine on his own neither of them want to go far, so they end up at a taqueria an eight minute walk away. Buck’s only showered once since the freeway collapse, and Eddie’s hair is a mess, and they’re both wearing sweatpants, and Eddie holds his hand across one of the little metal tables crowded on the sidewalk and Buck wouldn’t change a single thing. They barely talk as they eat under the buzzing overhead lights, murmured questions and answers about the wellbeing of the rest of the 118, trading almost inaudible confessions. Since then? How about- And this? Me too. Me too. Buck paid at the counter when they’d ordered and Eddie had said I’ll get it next time, and it feels like a little light in Buck’s chest as they sit there together (together) in the hot nighttime air. Next time. Eddie is still holding his hand, and smiling at him, and there’s going to be a next time.

“You ready to go home?” Eddie asks when they’ve eaten their fill, and there is no question which house he means, no question that Buck belongs there.

“Yeah,” Buck says, light glowing brighter. “Let’s go home.”

Eddie grunts as he stands up from the chair and Buck’s hands flutter around him without any conscious choice on his part. “You alright? I can run back and get the Jeep.”

“I’m good,” he shakes his head, smiling in his indulging Buck way. “Driving hurts worse than walking anyway.”

Buck winces in sympathy. He remembers the bumpy ride home from the hospital after CPR had cracked his chest open, and that had been after a full week of healing. “Sorry, we should have- Waited, or I could have gone to get the food-“

“Buck,” Eddie cuts him off. “It’s a nice night.” It’s a lie, it’s so sweaty out here, and Eddie laughs at whatever expression Buck makes. “It’s nice to be out with you,” he amends. He takes Buck’s hand again, stepping very close and glancing around before quickly kissing his cheek. “Come on.”

The streetlights in this neighborhood are old, bulbs dim, and spaced far enough apart that most of the light they’re seeing by is spilled out of the houses and corner stores they pass. It makes the world feel like a private space for the two of them, wrapping them in something like candlelight. They're holding hands, still, and Buck thinks of the hundreds of times they've walked side by side with shoulders and elbows bumping and the hundreds of times he'd thought about finishing the connection, reaching out, entwining their fingers. Eddie squeezes every few steps, and keeps glancing at Buck out of the corner of his eyes and smiling whenever he sees Buck is looking back.

"What do you think Chris is up to?" Eddie's soft voice joins the cricket chirps and quiet hiss of sprinklers on the lawn next to them.

"Oh, rager, definitely."

Eddie shakes his head, grinning. "Yeah? All the coolest 12 year olds from science class?"

"You callin' your kid a nerd?"

Eddie throws him a look that knows exactly how many annual memberships to museums Buck and Chris share, and Buck cackles.

"I'll have you know in my college days-"

"Oh? All two semesters?"

"In my many, glorious college days I learned that the nerds partied harder than anyone. Get biochem and the engineers together and things are going to get really fun and really illegal so fast-"

"So we should start pushing him towards the humanities now-"

"But anyway," Buck concludes, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the Diaz house, "I bet he's just swearing while he plays video games."

Eddie shoves him lightly, laughing, and Buck lets himself stumble across the grass into the spray of the sprinklers. He spins in place on the lawn, head tilted back to stare up past the city lights to the few visible stars, getting gently soaked. When he stops his spin he’s facing Eddie, body a compass returning to him always. He holds his arms wide and grins and Eddie laughs again, in that fearfully delighted kind of way, and moves faster up the sidewalk. Buck chases after him, spinning him around and catching him so carefully, wrapping him up in a wet embrace. Eddie laughs, deep, head thrown back. He's still laughing as he gets his hands up into Buck's hair, yanking him down into a kiss in the middle of the sidewalk. The air is hot and Buck's clothes are wet and cool and Eddie is so warm, and the light in Buck's chest is turning into a supernova. Buck's hands slide down to Eddie's hips, and Eddie breaks the kiss, resting their foreheads together. Buck thinks they both probably look a little giddy, a little wide eyed.

"Eddie," Buck says, just to say it, or like he's trying to say something else he's not sure he's allowed yet.

"Yeah," Eddie says, like I love you, too.

They start their journey again slowly, arm in arm. It takes them a little longer than eight minutes to get back, Eddie moving a little gingerly and neither of them in any hurry. Buck almost feels reluctant when the Diaz front door comes into view. Eddie, halfway up a step, turns around at the hesitation. He tilts his head, and his smile is understanding and utterly fond.

“Hey, Buck.”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing next Friday?”

Buck huffs out a laugh, ducking his head and coming closer, toes bumping into the stair Eddie stands on. “I got no plans.”

“If the kid hasn’t burned anything down in there, do you… want to do this again?” Eddie almost looks nervous, and Buck immediately goes up on his toes to kiss the worry away.

“Please,” he says, and he thinks Eddie blushes, though he can’t be sure backlit as he is by the warm porch light. Eddie’s fingers brush against Buck’s shoulder, then tangle in his shirt for just a moment.

“Okay,” he says, quiet, joyful. They linger there a moment longer, just breathing in each other’s space, then he steps back, unlocks the door, holds out a hand.

Buck takes it. They go inside.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

more Buddie confirmation right in front of our salads

More space/universe aka future:

Not to mention, Christopher has the bag, then Buck, and then Buck hands it to Ramon. Son to Buck to another father.

In the same episode that we get a dinner date (with Buck cooking) between Buck and Tommy:

Buck: "So maybe we both have Daddy issues." Tommy: "I don't." Buck: "But you think I do?" Tommy: "God, I hope so."

The very next scene is Eddie talking to his parents and we get:

Ramon: "Fathers are human. Sons don't always handle this news well." Eddie: "I'm not letting him run away from home because he's mad at me." Ramon: "Your son is trying to tell you what he needs. Don't wait 30 years before you listen. You'll regret it."

So in this episode we have:

Bobby's life on the line

A grandfather trying to get revenge for his grandson (after mentioning his own son/their relationship in the last episode we saw him in)

Buck talking about how Bobby is like a father to him

Tommy saying he doesn't talk to his dad; that he only had Gerrard (which was a very weird statement to me until I saw the end of the episode and went "aha!")

Christopher refuses to talk to Eddie because he's angry and hurting; he even called his grandparents to come get him so he can stay with them for a while

Ramon giving Eddie advice to let Christopher go because it's what he needs, coming from the perspective of his own regret with how he handled things with Eddie

Bobby (Buck's dad) being replaced by Gerrard (a former captain of the 118 - there's that Ramon/Eddie parallel again btw - and who Tommy "looked up" to)

Bobby not having been honest with the 118 about a decision he'd made; Eddie not having been honest with Christopher about Kim (well, I should say that Christopher found out about anyway) - both fathers/father figures

This all leads to: Fathers & Sons (as well as the theme of family)

But it's also important that this episode reaffirms Buck as Christopher's other parent (in the present). Yes, we been knew on this point already. It's been hammered home and hammered home time and time again. But it's literally confirmed in this episode right in front of our faces. Not because Eddie called Buck to talk to Christopher but because of the literal passing of the backpack which is sporting a theme that has been featured for Buddipher before (future).

From Christopher (the son):

To Buck (another son/father):

To Ramon (another father whose son's heart is breaking as he's losing his own son):

Buck doesn't hand the backpack to Helena or even Eddie (so Christopher will need to retrieve it from him/talk to him). He doesn't place it down on the ground or on thee couch (which btw he oh so conveniently sits on the arm of it earlier in the episode in the scene where Eddie begs him to intervene with Christopher). He hands it right to Ramon who then shoulders it.

So not only does this confirm that yes, Buck has daddy issues and that he can identify with Christopher (based on what he went through, his understanding now, and his own evolved relationship with his parents), but he is indeed the second parent.

In the same season we saw both the Buckley parents and the Diaz parents resurface, when Buck and Eddie are going through their own journeys of some deep inner reflection.

Guys, I don't know how else to say this but we are at that point. Looking at everything from above, we are literally this close. It's either make or break time coming up soon in the narrative. They're not even being coy or subtle about it anymore. That's not dunking on BuckTommy btw (there is a reason Buck and Tommy have graduated from the beer prop to the wine prop this episode - think Taylor/Abby/Shannon/Ana, etc.). That relationship still needs to be seen through and obviously, Eddie still has some more grief and things to work through, but they literally have Buck and Eddie's narrative circling each other. Eddie didn't ask Marisol for help on this one - he went straight to Buck. He also didn't try to shoulder it alone - he immediately called Buck. Hence Buck mentioning to him that Christopher can't keep Eddie out of his room and Eddie's response to that. If you think back to how far we've come with Eddie and his character development: learning to ask for help when he needs it, not taking on everything alone, being able to admit when he has a problem/struggle...it is phenomenal that Eddie called Buck up immediately to get him over there to help with Christopher. Not that he hasn't trusted Buck with Christopher in the past, not that he doesn't truck Buck implicitly as his best friend and shift partner, but he literally realized in 0.02 seconds that he fucked up and called the one person he not only knew could get through to Christopher (if anyone could) but also would help him in this situation. Buck may have known about Kim but now so does Marisol, and it's obvious that Marisol has a relationship with Christopher as well. She may be hurt and angry with Eddie, but if Eddie asked her to talk to Christopher, if she knew how dire this was for Christopher, I'm not sure she would have told Eddie "tough, you cheated on me, screw you".

But regardless of what Marisol would have or wouldn't have done, the point is, Buck is there as Other Dad and it's confirmed right in front of our salads. And then the partner/parent confirmation:

And if you need confirmation that props, blocking, and framing are a thing, look at the picture behind Ramon and Helena. Texas. Exactly where Christopher is going. Look at the open front door and the open door leading to the kitchen, purposely in the shot as Eddie kneels down to talk to Christopher, telling him he can always come back. Look at the fireplace (aka theme of home/hearth) Buck is standing in front of as he watches the scene unfold. Look at the way they framed Ramon and Helena vs Buck and Eddie. Ramon, Eddie's father, is on the right and Eddie, Christopher's father is on the right. They even touch in a similar manner (with less space between Ramon and Helena obviously). They even make sure to cement that connection of the two fathers in the shot of Ramon looking at Eddie, still shouldering the backpack, and closing the door. They even have Buck with his hands in his pockets and Eddie is about to do the same until Helena reaches out for Eddie's hand.

Framing.

Blocking.

Props.

Christopher is Eddie's son, his future. His future who just walked out the door with his grandparents. It's all there. I mean:

The same episode that mentions lost romantic partners: Ayanna, Emmett, and Shannon. Amir helps people. Athena has Bobby. And Eddie has...?

Amir + Ayanna = AA (he lost her in a fatal fire but she was the love of his life) Athena + Bobby = AB (they've both lost people but are now together and going strong) Eddie + ? = E?

The same episode where Maddie and Chim take in Mara temporarily until Hen and Karen can get her back to complete their family and we also see a scene between Bathena and the kids being grateful that they have each other.

The same episode where the two couples (Madney and Henren) are having a dinner together (the takeout) and so are Buck and Tommy (that Buck made).

The only person without a romantic partner this episode with this shared theme of dinner and prop of wine (for romance and family meals) was Eddie. He had no partner.

Or did he?

[canonicallyobserving911]

undefined

Buck & Eddie: The Shooting - includes two deleted scenes

Still here and still waiting!

When are Buck and Eddie going to be allowed to talk about The Shooting?

In May 2023, two years will have passed since Eddie was shot by a sniper while Buck stood right in front of him but THEY STILL HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT IT. Eddie’s blood was splattered across Buck’s face and clothes and Eddie went unconscious only a few seconds after he asked Buck if he was hurt.  Buck went into a catatonic state of shock after he watched Eddie be gunned down in the middle of an L.A. street but he came out of shock long enough to save Eddie. He returned to a catatonic state after Eddie went into surgery and he remained that way until he made it to Eddie’s house so that he could talk to their son.

It was a traumatic event for both of them because they thought they were going to lose each other forever.  The question is how much longer will the audience have to wait for them to finally talk about it? It’s season 6 and the wait continues even though recurring characters have been and are continuously being added to the show for Buck’s storylines as a way to either delay or maybe even avoid Buck and Eddie from having a discussion about all of their shared traumas, i.e., The Tsunami, The Well, The Shooting, The Will Reveal, The Hostage Situation, Eddie’s breakdown and Buck’s decision to be a sperm donor.

Will they finally be allowed to talk about it in 6B?  Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question but with the way 6A was handled by keeping them separated, it’s unlikely.

Edited scenes from 4x13, 4x14 and the 4x14 finale promo are included in this video.  The end of 4x13 was combined with the beginning of 4x14 so that The Shooting could be viewed as one continuous scene. Also two deleted scenes from 4x13 and 4x14 that were included in the 4x14 finale promo (the aerial shot of Buck, Eddie and Captain Mehta lying on the ground and Hen and Chimney sitting inside of the ambulance listening to Captain Mehta say Eddie had been shot) were included. The aerial shot was inserted not long after Captain Mehta tackled Buck to the ground because based on the things Captain Mehta said, it seems like that’s where it belongs. Hen and Chimney’s ambulance scene was edited in and replaced the second shot of the 133′s firetruck speeding down the street as they were enroute to the hospital.  Both scenes were only 1 to 2 seconds in length which means they could have been added to those episodes and they wouldn’t have taken up any additional screen time.  If they had been included in the final episode edits, the impact could have been even better especially since the 118 wasn’t allowed to comfort Buck (on-screen) while he was at the hospital.  They could have removed all those scenes of Taylor trying and failing to comfort Buck to make time for the important scenes the audience wanted to see.

Video: 4x13 “Suspicion”; 4x14 “Survivors” and 4x14 Finale Promo

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼(the dynamics here are fascinating! Such an interesting take on how their lives could have gone so differently)

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰(this one omg!!! What does eddie know? What does the clock mean? How long until buck is fully aware? WHAT IS GOING ON?? Can’t wait to find out!)

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️(athena POV! I love it! Gerrard being dead! I love it! Having all the interrogations be interwoven to help build a picture of the whole night! I love it! It feels very oceans 911)

Also I gotta say that I LOVE when you include a mystery emoji/story on one of your responses to me! This happening twice now has me feeling genuinely so honored!

Ahhh happy to give you all the surprise emojis! Who knows, I MAY have another one soon...

33 for 🔼(thank you so much!!!):

---

With Shannon and Eddie getting along better after telling Chris about the baby, she’s seeing more of him. Not that Eddie has kept him from her at all since Christmas. He hasn’t. But with them communicating better, it’s just easier for her to spend more quality time with him. With her feeling better, too, she can watch him more. Eddie is slowly relying on Carla less and less, and Shannon more and more. She’s resumed going over to his place to stay with Chris when he’s working. Something she didn’t think she’d get again. At least not for a while. On top of that, Chris is happy again. Their work to prove his fears wrong has paid off; he seems secure in her being around and he’s excited about the baby. About being a big brother. He’s filled with curiosity about everything and asks her questions whenever he sees her. It warms her heart and soothes her anxieties. She can do this without hurting Christopher any more than she already has. 

The other recent development, of course, is Maddie. The friendship she hadn’t known she’d needed until Buck arranged it. Shannon and Maddie hit it off immediately. Despite being a bit older than her - there is quite an age difference between Maddie and Buck, apparently - Shannon and Maddie immediately found common ground in the life experience of starting over in this city. Both moving forward from a lot of guilt and baggage, some days more successfully than others. Beyond that, they just have a similar conversational style. Maddie is kind and smart, but funny. Not afraid to poke fun. Shannon feels at ease around her. They’ve been seeing each other weekly, and texting a lot, too. They have plans to go shopping next week, after Shannon and Eddie find out the sex of the baby. For the first time since high school, Shannon has a social life to look forward to. 

Maddie isn’t the only Buckley she’s finding herself on friendly terms with, either. Shannon and Buck have struck up quite a rapport pre-physio. Shannon finds herself arriving early on purpose, just to extend their conversations. There’s something about him. 

---

96 for ➰ (ALL GREAT QUESTIONS!):

---

He’s feeling a bit better. He doesn’t know why. It’s like the looming dread has evaporated. A cloud passing overhead. Honestly, the moment they walked away from that kayak rack, Buck felt a lot lighter. Which is weird. He had a bad feeling, and… And he… He avoided getting hurt. But how did he know to do that? Just like Eddie asked. Why did he have that feeling?

Because you remember it, something small in the back of his head is telling him. But that’s impossible, so he tries to shove it down. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie replies. He still seems off. Quiet. Like he adopted Buck’s bad mood when Buck shirked it. “We can always just go back to the hotel and take it easy?” 

“What?” Chris complains. “That’s boring!”

“Aw, Eddie come on,” Buck adds, reaching for the driver’s side door of the Jeep. “It’s our last day here. We wanted to go swimming.”

“There’s a pool at the hotel,” Eddie reminds him. “We can swim there.”

Buck feels like he’s had this conversation before. 

“I want to go to the beach,” Chris says.

“Yeah, me too.” Buck agrees. “Unless something is wrong?”

Eddie narrows his eyes at Buck. Like Buck has asked him something mildly offensive. Buck raises an eyebrow. He has no idea what’s wrong! 

“No, you’re right. Let’s go to the beach,” Eddie concedes. “Whatever makes the two of you happy.” 

➰➰➰

They swim and enjoy the beach. It’s almost a really nice afternoon. Buck has a lot of energy, and he and Chris spend a ton of time in the water and exploring the long, flat stretch of sand. They wander off towards the rocks, to look at tidal pools, crabs, and other little creatures. Eddie follows behind them, watching them like a hawk circling overhead. 

It’s strange. The whole afternoon, he doesn’t ever fully participate in what they're doing. He’s there, but not totally present. He has a distance to him, and yet he’s never not watching. And where, usually, he’d be keeping his eyes specifically on Chris, today he’s not. Today his eyes are glued on Buck. 

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Buck asks him several times over the course of the afternoon.

“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

But it’s clearly a lie. 

Buck helps Chris up onto one of the rocks to look at a sea urchin.

“I really like that purple color,” Chris observes.

“Me too,” Buck replies. “Man, we’ve seen a lot of cool wildlife today, haven’t we?”

Even as he says it, he realizes none of it has felt very novel. Except maybe this exact moment. He doesn’t know if he’s seen what he’s looking at now, before. But the otters? The seals? The opalescent slug thingies? None of those felt like a first glimpse at a magical other world. It felt like a painting of something beautiful he stares at every day. 

Why does it feel like that?

“We have!” Chris agrees. He doesn’t seem to hold any of Buck’s lack of wonder. “This has been the coolest trip ever.”

Buck smiles at him. “I’m so glad, Chris. I’ve had a pretty good time, too.”

Chris steps away from Buck and crouches down to look at one of the pools. A wave crashes nearby, sending a small flood of water over their feet. 

“Careful,” Buck advises. 

“I’m okay!” Chris insists. 

“Don’t want you to fall in. Then you’d be the sea urchin.”

“Buck.” 

If no one else is going to chuckle at his joke, he will. 

In the distance, Buck hears two gulls squabbling. He turns to look, shifting his balance just as another wave crashes. The rush of water is more forceful than expected, despite his own advice to Christopher. Buck stumbles a little, unable to regain his footing. With a flipping feeling in his stomach, Buck falls backward. 

He only feels it for a second when his head cracks off the jagged ocean rocks.

---

57 for ☠️ (THANK YOU! That's sort of the vibe I am going for!):

---

“We’re just doing our due diligence, Mr. Han,” Ransone replies. “Making sure we have all the information necessary before ruling the death accidental.”

“Right,” Chim says. “But you only asked about Tommy. Not Hen.”

“We’ve already spoken with Mrs. Wilson.” 

Chim starts to sweat a little. “Uh, listen, okay… Come on. Tommy didn’t do this.”

Oh boy. Chim panicking is never a good thing. He’s not the coolest under pressure.

“I didn’t say he did,” Ransone replies. “You jumped to that conclusion, though.”

“I did? No! I mean. I didn’t.” 

“Why didn’t Tommy do this?” Ransone asks. 

“What?”

“If you’re very sure Mr. Kinnard couldn’t have killed Captain Gerrard, tell me why?” 

Chim blinks, like he hadn’t expected this question.

“Well, uh… First of all, he’s dating my brother-in-law, so… So I trust Buck’s taste in men, right?” Chim starts. “Second, he’s changed a lot.” 

“Changed?” Ransone lasers in on this choice in diction. 

Athena sighs. If Chim wants to protect his friend, he’s doing a bad job. 

“Yeah,” Chim nods. “He’s not the same guy he was when Gerrard was our captain the first time. When I met him.”

“What kind of guy was he then?” Ransone asks. 

“I… Wait. No, that’s not what I meant,” Chim stammers. 

“What did you mean?”

“I plead the fifth!” Chim exclaims. 

“That’s not how that works, Mr. Han,” Ransone sighs. 

Chim’s face is very red. “Listen, Tommy is a better man now, but I didn’t mean to imply he was, like, capable of murder when we worked under Gerrard together.”

“Then what was he like?” Ransone presses. 

“I don’t know,” Chim shrugs. “Colder? Meaner? More affected by others’ opinions?”

Ransone nods. “I see.”

“Buck wouldn’t date a killer! He knows Tommy well!” 

[babygirl-diaz]

VERY random mpreg prompt, feel free to use or lose—A running joke bt Buck and Eddie is that Buck will often teasingly ask Eddie if he’s turning into a pumpkin when they’re out at night, since he’s usually the first one ready to leave. However, when Eddie’s pregnant, he doesn’t immediately take the joke in the intended spirit 🎃

((I really had fun with this prompt, anon. Thank you!))

It's The Great Pumpkin, Eddie Diaz

Buck’s omega was a practical and punctual man. He was the one who set the pace in their relationship, and he was also the first one ready to head out on their date nights. He liked to make sure that they were home before 11 PM so that they could get a good night’s sleep and be up for their shift on time the next morning. “Oh baby,” Buck said one day when he found Eddie impatiently tapping his foot by the door while checking his watch multiple times. “You’re like our own personal Cinderella. I swear one of these days you’ll turn into a pumpkin if we’re out past our bedtime.” 

Eddie just looked at him and rolled his eyes, but an amused chuckle escaped his lips‌. “You’re a real comedian, Mr. Buckley-Diaz,” he said, putting on his jacket. “Now, come on, let’s go.” 

This became a running joke between them, where Buck would always tease Eddie about “turning into a pumpkin”. That was until the omega got pregnant. Yeah, probably not the best move calling your very pregnant husband a pumpkin. Especially not when he was overly sensitive about his appearance these days. But Buck's mouth usually ran ahead of his brain and that’s how he ended up here, sitting outside the closed bedroom door while Eddie wouldn’t stop crying inside. 

It all started as they were heading out to dinner for their 3rd anniversary. Eddie was getting impatient, as usual. 

“Buck, come on, we’re gonna be late. Do you know how hard it was to get a reservation at this place?” Eddie called out just as Buck left the room, putting on his watch. 

“We still have 30 minutes, Eds, and the restaurant is only 10 minutes away.” 

“But traffic-” 

“Traffic isn’t as bad at this time, baby,” Buck said distractedly. “Don’t worry, you’re not gonna turn into a pumpkin if we’re late this one time.” 

Buck paused, and a chill passed over him as he realized what he just said. Abandoning his watch, he looked up at Eddie, who had a blank look plastered over his face. That didn’t last long and soon there were tears in his eyes. 

“Eddie-” Buck started to say  and to went over to him. 

“You think I look like a pumpkin, don’t you?” Eddie asked as tears started running down his cheeks. 

“No, baby, no, I don’t think you look like a pumpkin.” Buck put up his hands and tried to touch Eddie, who stepped back. 

“No, you do!” Eddie cried out. 

“It was just a silly joke,” Buck told him. “I always say it when we’re leaving and you make me hurry.” 

“Oh, so I am sensitive now? Is that what you’re saying?” Eddie’s voice sounded accusatory now. That was never good. 

“I mean, yeah, you’re a little sensitive these days.” And there it was. Buck’s mouth running ahead of his brain. Again. “I mean- no- you’re not sensitive-” 

But the damage was done. Eddie was crying even harder now. He wiped the tears from his eyes and ran away to their bedroom before Buck could stop him. He slammed the door shut and locked it. 

“Shit!” Buck hissed under his breath and rushed after him. “Eddie, come on, open the door. I didn’t mean any of what I said.” 

“Go away, Evan, I don’t want to talk to you right now!” Eddie yelled from the other side. “Or ever!” 

“Eddie, please, open the door.” Buck tried jiggling the doorknob but got nothing. He could break it down, but he didn’t know where Eddie was in the room. He could get hurt. 

“I told you to go away!” Eddie yelled again and this time he threw something which landed against the door with a loud thud. 

“Eddie, you’re behaving like a child.”

“Then go find yourself an omega who will behave like an adult,” Eddie huffed. “Or wait… You never even wanted to be with an omega because you always thought we were too much work.” 

“I never said that!” 

“No, but you implied it.” 

Buck sighed and sat down on the floor, facing his back to the door. “Babe, that was before I met you. You changed my mind about omegas.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Eddie told him. 

Buck heard Eddie groan, which put him on alert. “You okay in there?” He asked. But then he heard shuffling against the door and soon Eddie’s voice was a lot closer. 

“Are you even sure you want to be with me, Buck?” 

“Of course, I wanna be with you!” Buck was quick to assure him. “I want to be with you more than anything.” 

“Then why does it feel you’re not ready for this? For us to have a baby.” 

“Eddie, we already have a kid together,” Buck reminded him. “I have been ready for so long.” 

“It’s different with Chris. He was already 8 years old when you came into our lives and he was 14 when we got married and you officially became his parent.” Eddie paused before adding. “With this kid, you’re going to have to be there from the start.” 

Before Buck could reply, the front door opened and then he heard crutches before they stopped in front of him. 

“Uh, Buck? Why are you sitting in front of your bedroom door?” Chris asked. 

“Your dad locked himself in there,” Buck replied. When Buck noticed the panic on Chris’ face, he quickly added. “He’s fine. He’s just-” 

“-having a meltdown?” Eddie said from the other side. “Say it. I know you want to!” 

“No, I wasn’t gonna say that,” Buck told him. 

“What did you do?” Chris asked in an exasperated tone as he came closer to him and leaned against the door. 

“I may have made the pumpkin joke again.” Buck cringed as the words left his mouth. 

“Oh, Buck.” The 17-year-old shook his head. “You really called my dad a pumpkin when he already has body image issues because of the pregnancy?” 

“It was in poor taste, I know.” Buck hung his head in defeat. 

Above him, Chris sighed and reached down to touch his chin. “You’re gonna be alright, kid. Lemme try talking to him.” 

Buck looked up and grinned at Chris. 

Chris softly knocked on the door. “Hey, Dad? I know what Buck said was uncalled for, but he’s really sorry.” 

“I am, Eddie!” Buck chimed in and earned a glare from Chris, and he put up his hands. 

“Is he still out there?” Eddie asked after a while. 

“Yeah,” Chris replied. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere while you’re upset in there.” 

“Well, then he can be there all night.” Eddie huffed again. 

“While you sit there on the other side with him and give yourself muscle cramps?” Chris asked gently, with a fond smile on his face. “Just come out.” 

There was silence on the other side again. “Fine,” Eddie replied, sounding defeated. 

The door clicked, and Buck immediately got up from the floor. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Chris. You are literally the best!” He wanted to hug him, but he knew how the 17-year-old felt about hugs. 

“Just don’t call my dad a pumpkin again,” Chris practically warned him. 

“I won’t, I promise. I will call him Cinderella instead!” Buck told him. 

“Why? Is it because I am an omega?” Eddie was still in the room with fresh tears in his eyes. 

“Oh no. No, no, no, no” Buck tried to go inside, but Eddie slammed the door in his face before he could. 

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “You’re on your own now.” 

[whumpdoyoumean]

Here is a whumpy alternate ending tag thing to the finale. Short and sweet, but I had to get it out of my system! Read it here or on Ao3.

xxx

Buck watches for a moment as they wheel Bobby away, then slips into the nearest bathroom. It's mercifully empty; the quiet and solitude is a nice break from the chaos that had been Buck's life for the last few hours. He parks himself in front of one of the mirrors and sighs as he's greeted with the sight of his face covered with blood. He thinks most of it is from his mouth-he'd bitten through his tongue when he fell-and his nose which, miraculously, doesn't seem to have broken.

"Could be worse," he mutters as he reaches forward to turn the tap on. His hands shake lightly as he cups them underneath the flowing water. He's finally coming down from the adrenaline rush, and he's starting to feel it. He doesn't remember the impact, but he wonders if he'd come down on his left side first. That would explain the persistent pain in his left side that he thinks might be a bruised rib or two, and the ache in his left shoulder.

He splashes the water on his face, gasping a little at the cold. It doesn't do much to clear away the really caked on stuff, so he repeats the action, this time scrubbing a little (not too much or it hurts) to try and clear away the dried blood. He's about to do it for a third time when a man walks in, whistling to himself. He startles when he sees Buck, looking embarrassed at first, and then his eyes widen.

"Whoa," he says. "You're a firefighter?"

"Sure am," Buck says. The pain in his shoulder is getting worse, and he's starting to feel a little light headed. Social interaction is the last thing he needs right now.

"You were on the overpass?" the man asks.

Buck nods, regretting the action when it causes the world to tilt beneath him. "I was, yeah." If he can just get through this then he can go and sit down and hopefully wait for the dizziness to pass.

The man's eyes grow comically wide, now, eyebrows climbing his forehead, the corners of his mouth turning up into a disbelieving smile. "No way! That's crazy. That is just…crazy, man! I heard all of you guys made it out with barely a scratch, is that true?"

"Uh…I wouldn't go that far." Buck's voice sounds strange when he speaks, muffled and distant. He reaches out and puts one hand on the edge of the sink to steady himself.

The man frowns. "Are you okay? You look a little pale."

Buck forces a smile and starts to say, "I'm fine," when he's interrupted by a sharp stab of pain from his left side and he lets out a cry, his knees hitting the cold bathroom tile hard.

"Hey, man," the stranger says, kneeling down.

"I'm…" Buck says, and he wants to reassure the guy but his tongue feels heavy and his ears are ringing and there's black crowding the edges of his vision and then the floor is tilting beneath him and everything is pain. And then there's nothing.

xxx

"I'm fine!" Eddie insists for what feels like the millionth time. He knows there's not much they can do for him-an x-ray, and maybe a prescription for pain meds.

"I know you are," the nurse says patiently. "But we're still going to need to get an x-ray."

Eddie grunts in annoyance but bites back the urge to argue. He's about to ask if he can at least get a snack from the vending machine first (near-death experiences are exhausting) when his attention is drawn by a man stumbling out of the bathroom, looking frantic.

"Hey, can I get some help? This guy just collapsed in the bathroom. A firefighter, one of the ones from the overpass!"

Eddie's heart plummets as he shoots to his feet, barely noticing the pain that flares up in his busted ribs.

"Mr. Diaz, I need you to stay put," the nurse says, even as she starts toward the bathroom. Eddie ignores the command, striding after her.

There's only one person it could be.

There's no way Eddie is staying put.

"Eddie?"

Hen's voice stops him in his tracks. Athena and a doctor are in the middle of helping her into a wheelchair. Her brow is pinched, and Eddie can tell that she's reached the same conclusion he has.

"We need to get her to CT," the doctor says.

"I know, just-Did you see anything, Hen? Did something happen?" Eddie had been so focused on Hen, and then Chim and Bobby, that he hadn't paid any attention to Buck at all. He'd seemed fine. There was blood on his face, but...Eddie realizes with a sinking feeling that he has no idea where it came from. Could Buck have gotten a head injury?

"I'm not sure, but I think-I think maybe he fell," Hen says, and Eddie's heart sinks.

"We need to move," the doctor says, and Athena puts a hand on Eddie's elbow.

"C'mon, Diaz," she says, voice quiet but leaving no room for argument.

"Keep me updated!" Hen says as she's wheeled away.

"Let's get him on the gurney!"

Eddie turns to see Buck surrounded by people in scrubs and white coats, loading his unconscious form onto a gurney.

"Oh my god," he breathes, and starts forward, heart hammering.

"Eddie!" Athena says, but Eddie keeps moving, broken ribs be damned.

"His name is Buck," he says as he gets closer. "He's-he's my partner."

"Did you see what happened?" one of the doctors asks, and Eddie shakes his head. He feels sick.

"No, I…I didn't see anything. But he may have fallen when the overpass collapsed!" He hurries alongside them as they wheel Buck to a trauma room, answering their questions about Buck's history, and then the kicker.

"Did you notice any symptoms?"

Guilt twists in Eddie's stomach. "No, nothing. He seemed fine. Is he gonna be okay?"

"We're gonna do everything we can," the doctor says as they push through the double doors. "I'm sorry, but you can't come back here."

"But-"

"I got 'im." It's the nurse that was helping him before that says it. She weaves her way over to Eddie and puts a hand on his arm. "Come on, Eddie."

Eddie pulls away, letting out a sharp hiss when his elbow accidentally grazes against his ribcage.

"We need to get you to x-ray."

Eddie shakes his head. "No. No, I promised Hen I'd keep her updated, I-" He peers around the nurse to try and see Buck but she moves to block his view.

"Look. I'm sure as soon as they know anything they'll send someone to tell you, but right now you need to let the doctors do their work and you need to get to x-ray. Now are you going to come with me or do I need to call security?"

Eddie looks over the nurse's shoulder one last time and then nods and allows himself to be led away.

xxx

"Hey, Buck, can you open your eyes for me?"

Bright lights, and faces-a lot of unfamiliar faces, and voices, and hands pressing on him and pain…

"There he is, he's coming around. Buck, can you tell me where it hurts?"

"My…My stomach and m'...My left shoulder."

"I heard you had a fall, Buck. Does it hurt anywhere else? Your back or your neck?"

"N…no."

"Good, that's good. What about your head, does your head hurt?"

"No…God my shoulder…"

"Okay, sounds like we could be looking at a splenic injury here. He's gonna need a CT-Whoa, pressure's dropping. Buck, stay with me. Stay with me Buck! Damn, okay let's get moving…"

xxx

"Hey, Eddie. You okay?"

Eddie looks up at Athena. He's achy and exhausted and worry is threatening to eat him alive. "I'm okay," he says.

Athena sits beside him, one eyebrow raised. "You sure? 'Cus you could've fooled me."

Eddie sighs. He should've known better than to try and lie to her.

"You're right." He rubs at his eyes with one hand, grimacing as he's hit by another pang of guilt. "It's not just that I missed it, ya know? It's that I didn't look. I didn't even think to look."

"You had a lot going on," Athena says. "Between Hen and Chimney and Bobby, and your ribs-"

"Fuck my ribs!" The words stumble out before Eddie can stop them, and Athena looks as startled as he is. "Sorry, Athena. Sorry, I didn't-I didn't mean that. It's just…Everyone's been so worried about me, but I'm fine. It's not like I was-concussed, or impaled. It's just ribs, you know? I'll heal."

Athena looks at him for a long moment. "The others will heal, too," she says finally. "And so will Buck."

"But-"

"So will Buck," Athena says firmly, and Eddie knows better than to argue. "Now, I'm going down to the cafeteria. Can I get you anything? My treat."

Eddie shakes his head. "No, thank you."

"When's the last time you ate?"

"Really, I'm okay." Between the pain meds and the anxiety, he's not sure he could eat even if he wanted to.

She doesn't look convinced, but she doesn't push it. "Okay, then." She stands and pulls her wallet out of her pocket, fishing out a few bills. "At least get something from the vending machine. You look like you're about to keel over."

Eddie hesitates and she pushes the cash toward him.

"Go on. I'm not asking."

"Thanks," Eddie says, embarrassed, as he accepts the offering.

"You hang in there," Athena says with a small half smile.

"I'll do my best. Thank you again." He isn't just talking about the money and they both know it.

"You're welcome."

Then Eddie is alone again, sitting in the uncomfortable waiting room chair with nothing for company except a stack of old magazines and his own worried thoughts.

Buck's been in surgery for the last couple hours. Internal bleeding, apparently. They think from his spleen. Which, you can live without a spleen (Eddie knows that from watching Emergency! as a kid), but he's not sure what Buck's future as a firefighter would look like-if he even has one. God, he's gotten through so many things…

God, please let him get through one more.

He's still sitting with the money from Athena clutched in one hand when Maddie appears. Eddie sits up straighter, immediately on high alert.

"How is he?"

"It was his spleen," Maddie says. "They were able to repair the damage and stop the bleeding without removing it."

Eddie lets out a long sigh of relief, smiling for the first time in what seems like an eternity. "Oh, thank god."

"There's an ongoing debate at work over whether the 118 is the unluckiest crew, or the luckiest."

Eddie lets out a small chuckle, wincing as it jars his ribs. "Can it be both?"

Maddie laughs. "That's what I said! Hey, when's the last time you ate something?"

"I was just about to get something from the vending machine," he says.

"Good. I'm gonna go tell Hen the good news. You should go home and get some rest, it'll be a few hours before they let in visitors."

Eddie shrugs. "I don't mind waiting here."

And he really doesn't.

xxx

Buck is half-watching the game show network when Eddie shows up, still in his dirty uniform and looking exhausted. Buck turns the tv off.

"Your hair is dusty," he says, grimacing at the soreness that comes with talking. Having a tube shoved down your throat will do that.

Eddie raises his eyebrows. "Thanks," he says, and Buck can't help but notice the way he guards his side.

"How're your ribs?"

"They're broken, Buck, how do you think they are? They hurt."

Buck frowns. "Okay, sorry."

Eddie sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "No, I'm sorry. I've just been getting that question a lot lately. What about you, how are you feeling?"

Buck considers this a moment. "Still kinda woozy," he finally says. The drugs from the surgery haven't worn off entirely so he's feeling a little muddled, but he's also not in pain so at least there's that.

"I can come back another time," Eddie says.

"Hmm. Honestly, I wish you would." The drugs also mean that his verbal filter isn't as sound as it usually is.

Eddie lifts an eyebrow. "Ouch."

"What I mean is, you look like you could use some rest."

"So do you," Eddie fires back, and then huffs. "You're not wrong, though. I'm exhausted. It's been a hell of a day."

Buck lets out a breathy chuckle. "Understatement of the century…You really should go get some sleep."

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Nah, I was falling asleep anyway."

"I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring Chris with me, he'll want to say hello."

"Perfect," Buck says, smiling at the thought.

"Hey, Buck?"

"Yeah, Eddie."

"You did a really good job today. You got us out of there. The whole crew made it out, because of you. Just-remember you're part of the crew too, yeah? You've gotta start looking out for you the way you look out for the rest of us."

"I'll try."

"You'd better," Eddie says.

Buck closes his eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep. Whether you want to or not."

Buck smiles tiredly. "Good."

xxx