#ed is starting his YouTube channel

[lunareclipses-moments]

How much you want these to be accurate?

Me : no

My Tokyo debunker memes until Friday comes

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to address what’s being said about me regarding my behavior as a teenager, because some of it is true. However, more of it is greatly distorted, and some of it is false. I won’t be reproducing the video that was made about me, the creator has acknowledged the misinformation present in it & has unlisted it, willingly ceding ground for me to give my own testimony. Some of it will require me to admit to things I am still ashamed of, some of it will require me to revisit a traumatic time in my life that I have mostly blocked out. The short version is that I believe I was being groomed at the same time and in the same place as many of the people who came out against me, and my ultimate goal is to find solidarity with those people and begin the healing process. 

When I was 18, and just beginning to accrue an audience, I created a discord server. For a lot of external reasons, mainly spending my entire life up until this point being shuttled around different special ed schools, this ended up being the first real social circle I ever had. It represented the first positive attention I ever received from strangers. It’s a time where I made a lot of mistakes, it’s a time where I was gravely vulnerable. In all honesty, I was too young to manage a community of any kind, I was hot off the back of being desensitized in my adolescence by unrestricted access to early 2010s internet. I knew well enough to create special NSFW rooms, and was advised later to create further division by requiring users to self-apply for a special NSFW role to access those rooms This extra layer meant that the rooms wouldn’t even show up for people who didn’t have the role, which led to some believing they didn’t exist. 

However, I did not intuitively understand the “meaning” of sexual content, I didn’t understand the baggage that came with it. I used cropped fetish porn as emotes and indiscriminately showed the source to anyone who asked, sometimes outside of the NSFW rooms, because I found niche fetishes to be amusing, and since it was “funny” and not “sexy” it didn’t have to mean anything. The worst consequence of this happened when I was first formulating the ideas for my video about youtuber Rags, and I discovered that his youtube avatar was cropped from a NSFW image he had commissioned of his feral dog fursona. I sent this image to just about anyone who seemed interested, and this included a then 13 year old. I’m going to apologize just like I did when this first came out, but I will not be pressured as I was then into assuming predatory intent in myself. I’m not making excuses when I say that I had been a legal adult for under a year and thought of it as just an interaction between two teenagers, a kind of interaction I had with many of my friends (and some adults) before I turned 18. It was a misunderstanding, *and* I hurt you, and I’m deeply deeply sorry. 

There were some moderators besides myself, two were teenagers around my age, early adopters of the server who I felt I’d become friends with. One was a woman in her late twenties, who I won’t name simply because I’m not in the business of offloading my misery onto other people, but she knows who she is. She contacted me with a shower of attention & adoration, she left positive reviews for my albums when she noticed I was upset at their critical reception, she oversaw me as I posted my nudes in that server and later on my main twitter account. She encouraged this behavior in myself and others and participated in it too.

I want to make this clear, the bulk of the allegations against me boil down to punishing me for failing to surmise I was being exploited by the first social group I ever had. I jerked off in voice chats. I remember the day I started, I was surrounded by people older than me who were encouraging me to post my first nude pic in the self-nsfw channel, and I had to get hard for them first. I then considered this normal and did it often. At one point a 15 year old entered the room while I was doing it, and I went quiet until she left. I reconvened with this 15 year old recently, and she told me she only remembers being promptly told to leave. The claim that I “regularly jerked off in voice chat with minors” as if it were an orchestrated and habitual activity is an outright falsehood.  

I remember posting my nudes on twitter in a fevered haze of dissociation and dysphoria after being goaded by other users in my discord server. I remember doing it again and again, so that it could maybe eventually feel normal. I was 18, going on 19. I had twenty to thirty thousand subscribers, I was hot off the heels of being given 150 bucks for making thirty minutes of music for a much bigger youtuber. There are others who were in that server who were similarly exploited, and I am not here to contradict those testimonies, but I was uniquely denied the ability to understand what had happened to me as grooming, because I was technically of age and I had the very beginnings of a youtube audience. However, 20k subs didn’t give me more power than someone over ten years my senior. 

I was groomed, and just as I was beginning to understand what happened to me, the shame threatening to overtake me completely, I was slapped with the supposed news that I was the sole perpetrator of the entire situation that traumatized me so, that what I thought of as my first friend group all remembered me as a loathsome creep. The apology I wrote in abject panic was dissected and used as a cudgel against me in police-interrogation fashion, so I became afraid to say anything. A year and a half later, I made a post saying that I had been “groomed by a portion of my audience” and this immediately provoked a youtube video callout. I feel as if I have been beaten into silence and complicity, unable to form thoughts of my own regarding my experience. I am terrified, right now, writing this story that I firmly believe no one on earth will buy, because I have come to routinely doubt my own testimony.

Some accusations being made of me are so foreign that I have trouble piecing together what it could be referring to. I commissioned a NSFW size difference piece from dramamine, one where my lover is 11 feet tall, and I was pre transition at the time so I wanted a flat chest to help me feel feminine in my current body. It was wrongly tagged as “cub” (furry child porn) on E621, which I vocally protested at the time. This is the only thing I could point to as evidence for the claim that I commissioned cub porn of myself. I do not know how to convey the feeling of being flooded by accusations that require me to ponder what it could even be referring to, or to see my accuser insist that she’s receiving dozens of new horrible scoops on me without being able to see exactly what it is or what happened. I’m open to apologizing personally to anyone I ended up hurting in my adolescence who reaches out to me, I was a victim of grooming let off into a public space with a few thousand followers after all, but I’m not apologizing on behalf of people who might have heard something bad about me.

I am going to restate, my accuser has *of her own volition* unlisted the offending video & understands the misinformation she spread, there is nothing to gain from seeking her out and letting her know your opinion on the situation. I waited until this agreement was reached to make any statement at all for this exact reason. 

I am staying offline for about a day after posting this, I am under a lot of pressure, I am very tired.

[danieyells]

@2flowerz NOW I CAN POST THEM LOL HERE'S ED TO START WITH

PERVY OLD VAMPIRE IS AN ABSOLUTE GOOBER. . .he's also very very tired. But he has a very nice reaper taking care of him and a friendly dog that wants him to go outside more, so he has people who love and care for him even though he's. . .a little troublesome haha.

also I changed the format from previous posts and added the specific times and seasons and such for each dialogue! this should help lessen some confusion about how to get them.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Ah, there you are. I've a favor to ask of you— come to my room and I'll explain."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Oh? It appears we have some letters. Alas, my eyesight is not what it used to be. Read them out to me, would you?"

well maybe if you didn't stare at your tablet all day. . . .

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I have much to learn about the human world... Rui is teaching me a lot, but I cannot seem to divorce myself of careless blunders."

y'know, it's good he's trying to learn anyway. 400 years old is never too late.

"What did I do before Darkwick? I eked out a humble existence in Eastern Europe. Hm? The most powerful vampire? No, those are just rumors. "

didn't you confirm it yourself in the main story though--also if he was living in eastern europe for the past 400-ish years i wonder if he saw lyca when he was young, even if in passing? then again eastern europe isn't exactly small.

"I was taken by a sudden whim to travel abroad. I had heard good things about Japan so I came over to play, but alas, I was captured."

so he went to japan just to have a nice time for a while but the Institute decided to keep him trapped in Darkwick. . .and then they didn't listen to any warnings or concerns he had. . .no wonder he doesn't give a shit what's going on around here, why would he? They abducted him while he was on vacation--and for what?

"I have no interest in harming humans. After all, they die so quickly. They should enjoy their short lives while they can."

"(cough cough) Oh, it's you... I'm feeling worse than usual today. I don't suppose you could carry me to bed?"

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Good morning... What time is it? ...Still that early? Wake me up again at midday, would you?"

honestly Ed? Mood.

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"If this is about a mission, I can't help you, I'm afraid. I leave such day-to-day duties to Rui, so I suggest you ask him instead."

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm more or less confined to this house most days, for various reasons. I'm on my best behavior. But I'll do what I can to support you from the sidelines."

y'know, he's offering to help a little even at Affinity 3 and that counts for something in my book.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"My favorite channel should be posting a new video at any moment... Sorry, but could we continue this tomorrow?"

you have not yet reached the stage of friendliness where you're more important than a youtube video lmao

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't suppose you know where Rui is? How troubling... My YouTube video has stopped playing..."

well at this hour i'd check either the bar or his room???

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh, it hurts... I cannot seem to shake this ache in the place Rui touched me earlier... I think I'll rest a while."

so it seems like either his limbs pop off/part of him breaks open when Rui touches him, or he suffers a great deal of pain for an extended period of time, maybe his body actively fighting extremely rapid necrosis? Rui did say that he basically insta-kills anyone who isn't super strong, so Ed being in excruciating pain instead of dying or losing a limb now and then makes sense.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I can't survive much sunlight. Without my parasol, I can barely go outside... (sigh) It really is quite punishing..."

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Sounds like Lyca's having fun, from all that yapping. I think it's good for him to develop some temporary bonds with humans at this time in his life."

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I felt the urge to go stargazing, so I went to a hill nearby, but Towa was there already and he chased me away."

TOWA STOP BEING MEAN HE actually he probably would have bothered you and if he smells like a corpse to you that would have been annoying even if he didn't talk to you BUT STILL DON'T BE MEAN.

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You ought to be getting ready for bed. Me? Oh, I'll turn in soon... Just one more YouTube video."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Are you going for a walk? Take care not to spend too long in the garden. Humans are rather susceptible to the miasma there."

WE NEVER DID LEARN ABOUT THE MIASMA. WHAT'S UP WITH THE MIASMA WHY'S THE AIR IN OBSCUARY FUNKY.

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Do you realize that human society is controlled by a shady cabal of elites? There are many videos about it on YouTube."

I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING FOR HIS LAPTOP TO BE TAKEN AWAY OR TIME ON IT RESTRICTED. . .HE'S INTO CONSPIRACY THEORY YOUTUBERS HE'S GONE TOO FAR DOWN THE RABBITHOLE

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"The ghouls are rioting again? Ah ha ha ha, they certainly are full of energy. If you'll excuse me, I was in the middle of a YouTube video."

he simply does NOT GIVE A FUCK lmao the ghouls could be dying out there and he'd probably shrug it off. Maybe keep an eye on things with his sixth sense or have some bats watch. Maybe that's part of why so many ghouls dislike him? he doesn't have any concerns for their plights and problems?

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"How strange... I can't find my other sock. I could have sworn I put it here... Have you seen it?"

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Lyca made a mess again? Ah ha ha ha. Try not to judge him too harshly—he's not human, after all."

i think even for non-humans there's some cleanliness to be strived for. . .even pigs are pretty clean animals from what I hear. . . .

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Rui? Is my lunch ready yet? ...Oh, it's you. You wouldn't happen to be feeling heartsore, would you?"

he's asking if you're sad because he feeds off of tears more than blood. . . . .he wanted to see if you'd cry for him. . . . . . .wait how does Rui usually go about doing this!? Does he cry every day for him???

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Rui has his tavern work at this hour. He made sure I had everything I needed before he left, though."

ed's all cozy in bed with a nice bottle of tears and his fully charged tablet, all the dirty laundry's off his floor and everything--and now you're here! everything is perfect.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Has night fallen already? Do keep in mind that my vitality returns at this hour. You really should be more careful."

i'm kinda getting Taiga vibes here where as his affinity goes up he kind of clearly wants to eat you more, except where Taiga kinda tried to keep away from doing it until Affinity 24 where he snaps and ties you down and starts hurting you, Ed just starts warning you 'you're in danger being around me right now' lol. When he tells you to be careful he makes the sadist face, so he is telling you to be careful around him specifically. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Come, close your eyes. I'll hold you in my arms until you surrender yourself to the land of slumber."

isn't Ed's skin cold. . .I feel like it may be hard to sleep like that for most people lol then again maybe he'd be perfect for temperature regulation?

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ah, thank you for coming so early. I slept even worse than usual last night... The cleaning can wait. Let me rest my head on your lap, would you?"

'the cleaning can wait' huh. . .is this another Jin situation where he's started to expect you to clean up his room all the time lmao I MEAN RUI ONLY CLEANS IT ONCE A MONTH SO A LITTLE SUPPLEMENTARY CLEANING WOULDN'T HURT. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How are you finding Obscuary? Anomalies live quite differently to humans, so you're adapting to it remarkably well... Perhaps you're predisposed?"

'hey i know you're probably scared about becoming an anomaly that will harm your loved ones and all but you may already be showing signs so you should just stop worrying and join us!' also do they really live so differently. . .so far the main difference is cleanliness lmao

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"My, where did the time go? Talking to you is just so relaxing. Why? Perhaps it's because I know I could feast upon you at any moment."

in Japanese he says something like "The sense of security of being able to strike at any moment"--he's saying he could bite you and you're so comfortable with him you wouldn't even put up a fight before he could do it. He's making his 'sadist' face, but I think he means it in a 'you're relaxed around me, and it makes me feel comfortable to' way. . . .or not. He could just mean that he appreciates you as easy prey 8D

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Really. You became embroiled in another petty human dispute? How absurd you humans are. Come here."

he feels so bad for you and always getting involved in some shit. . .you know you wouldn't have to do any of this if you abandoned your humanity and just became an anomaly?

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"So, you've come sneaking into my room in the middle of the night? You really are a wicked girl. What were you hoping for? Go on, say it."

Do you want him to feed off of you? Or do you want him to feast upon you? Or were you just that starved for his company? I feel like he's willing to put aside his tablet for you at this point, especially if you're coming into his window late at night for a little tryst.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Being with you brings up old, old memories... Perhaps it's because you remind me a little of her."

well he is hundreds of years old, so of course he had lovers in the past. . .I wonder if she was also mortal, and if he refuses to see humans and anomalies as compatible because of heartbreak. Or maybe he doesn't get heartbroken like some humans do, and it's just nostalgia. But for someone who struggles to remember things sometimes to have old memories stirred up, I think that's a good thing. He must feel quite old at this point, but having someone around who reminds him of being even a little younger must be nice, even if he doesn't think it will last. . .then again maybe that's part of why he seems like he encourages you to become an anomaly in his character stories. Because he'll get to have you around for longer.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"The plants in our garden become rather lively in the spring. See? There's a little cannibalism going on over there."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"My favorite channels have been updating more frequently than usual of late. I suppose humans really do experience spring fever."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"(yawn) I look more tired than usual? Must be the spring weather... Goodnight."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Cherry blossoms are fascinating organisms. Born carrying the stench of death and falling all too soon... Just like humans, really."

i don't think most humans smell like death(unless we're referencing the poem about sakura trees having corpses beneath them to make the petals pink again) but go off i guess--also it makes it seem like he wishes humans lived longer? funny thing for a guy who thinks humans aren't compatible to say.

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Obscuary is lovely in summer. It's so dark and cool, with a lovely miasma breeze. I've no desire to step outside its confines."

honestly living in eternal night during the summer doesn't sound bad aside from all the bugs. but the tentacle plant in the garden probably keeps most of them away, so. . .obscuary in summer sounds lovely.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"How the sun mocks me... Vampires across the nation are advised to avoid going outdoors unless absolutely necessary."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It was so hot this morning that Rui was walking around after his shower in just a towel. A sight for sore eyes, I must say."

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH HE IS BISEXUAL. in Japanese he says that Rui was walking around soaking wet and that he's incredibly handsome but doesn't mention the towel--so Rui may have been wet and bare naked walking around Obscuary. . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"My air-conditioner? I believe I have it set to 64 degrees. Hm? You're cold? Humans truly are such fragile creatures."

that is almost 18 degrees celcius for the non-americans! it's not that cold imo but it's definitely a little chillier than most people like their personal space.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Humans take extra delight in their meals during the harvest season, do they? Interesting. Perhaps I'll follow suit."

lap up your tears nice and slow and sensual--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The stamina and physical strength of a vampire is dozens of times that of a human. We don't need to work ou— (cough) (wheeze)"

YOU GOOD BUDDY YOU STARTED COUGHING WITHOUT EVEN MOVING i mean i get it i have asthma but still--

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ah, the curtain of night closes. Now that the days are becoming shorter, my physical and mental health have much improved."

does that mean you don't need help getting dressed for a while--

(between 8pm and 5am)

"How beautiful the moon looks tonight. Its light is such a comfort to us non-humans. You look rather lovely bathed in it too."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"(sigh) Even in the dead of winter, Lyca is so full of energy in the mornings... Just try to imagine waking to him barking in your ear."

that explains why you lock him out of your room lmaoooo

(between 11am and 4pm)

"What do you think of my dressing gown? Rui made it for me. It's surprisingly warm."

MOM RUI STRIKES AGAIN MAKING HIS BOY COZY CLOTHES FOR THE WINTER

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"(cough cough) I only took a few steps outside, yet I felt as though my heart froze over... It's best not to leave one's room on days like this."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"They say that on cold nights like this, humans long for the warmth of another. Well? Shall I provide it for you?"

DO YOU POSSESS THE WARMTH OF ANOTHER SIR I RECALL YOUR SKIN BEING DESCRIBED AS COLD

His birthday: (November 10th)

"Having you celebrate my birthday makes all these long years of life worth it. How old am I? A gentleman doesn't tell."

given your estimate was 'idk 400 i stopped counting around 300' i think it's less you won't tell and more you can't tell lmaoooo

Your birthday:

"It's your birthday, is it? I'll have to give you a present. What do you want? Go on, tell me."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I heard it's a tradition in this country to impart small monetary gifts. Here, for you."

OTOSHIDAMA GET!!!!

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"My, is this for me? I'm touched. I don't usually partake of human food, but I suppose I'll make an exception."

it's about the symbolism! it's the principle of the thing, even if the chocolate tastes bland to your vampire taste buds!

White Day: (March 13th)

"It seems that today those who received chocolates on Valentine's Day are supposed to return the favor. What a conscientious country this is..."

yeah but what'd you get them tho--

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Oh, I'm burning up... I'm not long for this world... Won't you grant me one last request? ...No need to make that face. I'm joking, of course."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat. I'm a real vampire, you know. Give me your blood, or I'll play a trick on you."

probably the only time he's directly stated wanting to drink your blood lol

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. Rather amusing for a vampire to celebrate a holy day, don't you think? Let's fill tonight with magic and wonder."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"I'm going to lie down a while. If you need something, ask Rui."

(13 affinity and above)

"Hello? Oh good, there you are. It would be troublesome for me if you were to disappear. Let me know next time you decide to wander off."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'D BE TROUBLESOME. I guess it's because you clean up after him and help him and stuff. . .and at higher affinities maybe he feeds off of your tears and/or blood. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Well, hello there. It's been a while. Come over here—I've been looking forward to your return."

OUR SLOPPY LIL VAMPIRE BOY. Flirts, drinks tears, minds his own business, and is on his best behavior despite that he was abducted by Darkwick. They should be thankful he's not angrier, considering he's apparently strong enough to LEVEL A BUILDING ON HIS OWN. As his affinity goes up he seems to be more comfortable around you, although that comes with the concern that he expresses less human thoughts more openly. . .which isn't a bad thing, imo. He should be allowed to be an anomaly. He's not harming or preying on you, just saying he could and that he's dangerous. But he also just seems to like physical affection and flirting and having you do chores for him so he can be lazy. . . .

I love him lol he's stinky

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

my school was meant to give me sex ed, but I was late to the session (which they scheduled for an hour before our normal 8am start). they insisted that if we were late we shouldn't be allowed in (I don't know why) so I was stuck cutting out shapes instead of getting any sex ed. basically what I'm asking is where do I go to find sex ed as a (now) adult? I feel completely lost

hi anon,

good on you for wanting to seek out information! a good starting point could be Sexplanations, the YouTube channel of clinical sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe. Dr. Doe was one of my first sex ed icons and has been doing what she does for years; she has a huge backlog of videos about all kinds of topics ranging from anatomy to sex toys to kink to navigating different types of attraction. most of her videos are quick, punchy, upbeat, and nonjudgmental; a perfect place to get started!

[itsabouttimex2]

LSO AU sounds really interesting! Are we allowed to ask questions about AUs or does it count as a request?

Hi, thank you for asking! Questions are always allowed, even when requests are closed! I’ll elaborate on Let’s Start Over a little bit!

After his own journey ends and MK has his own story penned and published, peace settles across Megapolis and the world in general.

He’s even got himself a new title- “Monkie Knight”, after years of working for the king.

MK still steps in to ward off greater threats and more serious demons, but mostly steps back and attends to the noodle shop with Pigsy, who’s just about ready to pass the keys to his son and maybe take up a more casual lifestyle of teaching instead of serving. Maybe a YouTube channel where he teaches basic skills and recipes to viewers. Tang comes in to both expand on the history of what Pigsy is cooking and to taste test the end result. As expected, he adores the food each time.

Things are okay.

There’s trauma and bitterness that MK needs to work through, but… things are alright. With time, they’ll get better.

And then you come around to the shop one day to visit, right as the Ruyi Jingu Bang comes toppling down from where it’s been set- and you catch it.

So starts your journey.

Our golden-hearted hero is a little soured now, having been thrust into dangerous fights again and again. He’s somewhat resentful to certain individuals-

Mei, for not fighting beside him more often, in spite of her combat prowess and draconic powers. He gets a little twitchy when she’s around, thinking of all the fun she had off on her motorcycle, all the live-streams she giggled and joked her way through. MK doesn’t hate her. Not in a million years. Never. But damn if there’s not some bitterness. He’ll still ask her to ��babysit’ you when he needs to go off and fight.

Though he still cares about Sandy as a friend, MK has shifted his perspective to disliking the river demon’s pacifistic outlook, viewing it as naive and somewhat selfish. He still goes over to paint and have tea, but things are somewhat strained between the two. It’s easy for someone like Sandy, a side-liner, to say “I’m not fighting anymore!” but MK never had that chance. Given that he was in his mid-teens during the start of his journey in this AU, the hero finds it messed up that he had to fight, but an honest to goodness ex-soldier chose not to. Again, no hatred. Things are just a little tense.

Macaque is pretty far down on his shitlist, actually. MK has taken some time to think on the simian’s actions and kinda wishes he had just let Wukong pummel him to death. Most of these feelings relate to their first meeting, but him assaulting Tang and attacking Mei certainly haven’t helped. Or his unnecessary destruction of the Dragon Palace of the East Sea. Or his refusal to apologize. Yeah, this guy doesn’t get to come anywhere near you. MK will act civil because he does believe in redemption and second chances, but dear lord is it hard.

(And he massively regrets the “you aren’t a bad guy” speech he gave to Macaque. Looking back on it, MK thinks he was naively seeing goodness where it didn’t exist.)

And of course, Sun Wukong, for… a lot of things. He talks rather bitterly of his mentor, viewing the Great Sage as irresponsible and rather immature. He wishes there had been more effort and care in the monkey’s teaching, and less “you can handle this”. There’s still some genuine respect and gratitude for the simian, but MK majorly fixates on being ‘different’ in his own mentorship. Problem is…

He’s choosing to be different instead of better.

Wukong had genuine and honest belief in MK, enough to let him handle trouble on his own. The Great Sage didn’t step in not out of laziness, but because he knew that the kid could handle things on his own. Sure, he was way too secretive and hands-off, but his intentions were only ever to help MK grow.

So when he decides to be entirely opposite to Wukong, our newly titled ‘Knight’ becomes a massive roadblock for you. Instead of cutting you loose with confidence, MK is stifling and protective. He’ll fight for you, cook for you, tend to your wounds, etc. Wukong tried to let MK grow without any form of safety net, but MK refuses to allow any growth without complete safety, which is rare.

Instead of being a mentor who’s trying to build you into the best you that you can be, he’s trying to be a father.

And honestly? Sometimes, he’s so good at the act that you wish it were real.

[hooked-on-elvis]

The Green Scrapbook 📗

Why is Elvis a legend? Simple answer: HARD, HARD WORK... on and off stage.

That's the most interesting thing I've learned about Elvis lately.

This fanzine was out… it is called "Elvis Answers Back!", printed by Sound Publishing Corp in 1956 (view photo 8 and video 1 further on). In its pages, Elvis answer questions about his career and personal life in that genuine way we love so much about his interviews. There's very interesting answers in those pages (I'll share more in this blog in a while) but this one got me in awe. What we're about to read Elvis did in the 50s, while he was in the peak of his success as a young artist, specifically in the year of 1956, it's a demonstration of his courage, down-to-earth spirit, and a passionate level of dedication to his craft that few artists, or normal people for that matter, have.

Some of the pictures printed in the Elvis Answers Back! magazine: August 18, 1956. Elvis at the Knickerbocker Hotel, Hollywood, CA. Photograph by Ed Braslaff.

The magazine article is in topics. This one is entitled "THE GREEN SCRAPBOOK", and here's what Elvis had to say about this "rumor":

"Yes, it’s true that I keep me a scrapbook of a lot of the stuff that’s printed about me. But you know something? I don’t save the articles or stories that tell nice things about me. My scrapbook only has stuff in it that isn’t very friendly. I’ll tell you why this is. "When I first started out, my momma wanted to save all the programs and pictures and things that everyone put in the papers and magazines. I wasn’t much interested in doing this, because I was so busy singing and working and learning that I just didn’t want to take the time to sit down every so often in the middle of something and start cutting out pictures and things. Momma bought her a big green scrapbook, though, and asked me to send her stuff whenever I got the chance. For the first year or so, I didn’t send her a thing, and the scrapbook was empty, except for a couple of clippings she got out of the Memphis papers.

Some of the pictures printed in the Elvis Answers Back! magazine: (1) June 30, 1956 in Richmond, VA. Elvis drinking water after having a bowl of chili, sitting at the Jefferson Hotel lunch counter; (2) Elvis at the RCA's Studio One in NY, for a recording session on July 2, 1956, when he recorded "Hound Dog" and "Don't Be Cruel." Both photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.

"Then one day I saw this article about me not being a very good singer. I cut that out and send it to momma and she wrote back and told me I didn’t want to fill my scrapbook with things like that. But I wrote back and told her, 'Momma, anyone can fill a scrapbook with good things. But what good does it do? I’d like to know the things people don’t particularly like and study them and try to make myself better if I can.' "So that’s how The Green Scrapbook got started. I’ve got a lot of pages filled, and a lot of them are still empty, but I’ll tell you this. Every time I go home to Memphis, I take down that scrapbook and study it. I know most of the things in it by heart, and I’m always going to do my best to improve whenever and wherever I can." — Elvis Presley, 1956 interview.

Cover of Elvis Answers Back! magazine, published on August 28, 1956 | Source: elvis100percent.com

SEE THE CONTENT IN THE PAGES OF THAT 1956 ELVIS MAGAZINE (this is an US limited edition reproduction of the 1956 original magazine):

Thanks "Collecting King Elvis Interviews and Memobilia" Youtube channel for sharing this gem.

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UPDATE

I just crossed an interview of Elvis for the Hy Gardner Show ("Hy Gardner Calling") on July 1, 1956 (right after Elvis' performance on the Steve Allen Show). Hy Gardner asked Elvis if he reads the reviews on his concerts and he answers it with "Not if I can help it". Then Gardner goes on in the same matter and asks him further, "Do you keep a scrapbook at all?" -- Elvis' answer to this: "Only of the good stuff." -- We can figure, although Elvis had the Green Scrapbook probably since 1954, considering he said 'When I first started out, my momma wanted to save all the programs and pictures (...)', it was around mid 1956 that Elvis consciously decided to face his detractors more often and make a good use of their critics to help him improving his act. Fascinating. It's fascinating for a young man as talented, handsome and successful as he was, to pause the rush of excitement going on within himself just so he could think things through. Elvis was enjoying a tremendous amount of success already, so it would be more convenient to just have fun and let it happen while it lasted. 1956 was THE year when everything he ever dreamed about was happening at once in his life and he couldn't be more excited and thrilling with the attention he was getting from all over, yet that young man had the maturity to understand he had to keep working hard so he truly could have something worth sharing with the world, something better to offer to the people who seemed be starving for more of him. Fascinating.

WATCH THE FULL HY GARDNER INTERVIEW WITH ELVIS (July 1, 1956):

[spaceumbredoggos]

However fucked up Alex reveals Bill and Ford’s relationship is revealed to be in The Book Of Bill, Kenz and Bill’s is a hundred times worse.

Disclaimer: I am not glorifying abuse in any way shape or form. I myself have had nightmares similar to this despite never being sexually abused, both Bill related and otherwise. Some of these are based on personal experience (such as the nightmares), whilst others are a device used to show how fucked up shipping Bill with pretty much anyone is. Not even the Axolotl is safe in my opinion. If Bill was real, I’d guarantee he’d probably be a massive creep and with how thirsty his fankids are (and I’m calling myself out here) he’d probably use his magic to g*oom those kids like a church pastor. The thing that scares me the most about Bill being canonically real is not that he could catastrophically end the world, it’s his oversexualization in the fandom that got so bad, Alex himself had to make him unattractive. This will be along the lines of a Yandere Bill Cipher x Reader headcanons. With that being said, here’s a few content warnings:

G*ooming, Pedoph*lia, s*xual abuse and assault, physical and psychological abuse, mind control, cult-like things, psychosis, and general paranoia. I’m not saying these things actually happened, but knowing Bill’s character and his powers and history, if he was real, I’d generally be afraid for anyone in the Gravity Falls fandom. Especially minors.

This could be my most controversial post yet, and it could jeopardize any potential of getting into some colleges. This may sound like paranoid rambling, but I know that Bill is just a cartoon character. That being said, Alex like the blur the line between our world and the world of gravity falls with Bill’s character, dicing around the fact that he’s influenced history and wrote all religion on the basis of a lie. I’m not scapegoating him as “controlling global politics on a massive scale” because that would be stupid and I’ll sound like those tin foil hat rednecks that snort moonshine and burn pride flags. My heart goes out to all those who have been impacted by all forms of abuse as an abuse survivor myself. Alex, if you see this post (or any other of my posts/ read my fanfics), just know that it’s a critique on the fandom and the canon lore, and a cautionary warning to avoid lawsuits in case The Book of Bill Cipher causes mass psychosis.

As a kid (ages 7-9) I would watch Gravity Falls casually. At that age, the only thing I consumed online content wise was Skylanders and Minecraft content (Skylanders until age nine, then it was pretty much a lot of Team Crafted, Popularmmos, DanTDM, and other Minecraft YouTubers.) I didn’t invest in the Gravity Falls fandom until I was eleven (that’s when I first started writing my fanfics. The drafts are long gone because they were on school computers that were crammed with viruses due to kids installing Minecraft mods (this was just before chromebooks became mainstream. I went to a special ed middle school specifically for autistic individuals (it was pretty ableist, gonna make a post on that.) so the rules on what was allowed in school were pretty loose content wise. It didn’t have to be educational, as long as it didn’t have blood or guns. There were no safe search filters or Go Guardian (I remember one of my friends accidentally finding Iris from Pokemon black and white vore. I also found Pacifica vore.)) Before that, the February before my tenth birthday, my dad took my TV out of my room due to behavioral issues (undiagnosed autism go brrr). Around that time, there was talk in my town that the Disney channel was “rotting kids minds” with bad attitudes and crude humor (this could be said about any child’s television network (I mean, look at Nickelodeon.) but I lived in a pretty conservative area of Southern California and had a pretty conservative dad. So naturally, Disney was the scapegoat (this was way before the “woke” era of Disney.)) All of this talk of Brainrot made me stop watching the Disney channel during the peak era of gravity falls (2015 as a whole) and I didn’t watch gravity falls again until summer of 2016 when my tv was put back in my room (with intense parental controls so that I couldn’t watch my vet shows.) That’s when I had my first gravity falls dream about Bill cipher. It had to do with getting unicorn hair to protect my house from Bill Cipher. I had an interest in dreams previously due to warrior cats. It was at that moment when Gravity Falls was added to the obsession list.

As a neurodivergent eleven year old surrounded by other neurodivergent preteens and teens, we found common ground talking about Gravity Falls at school. I also would, whenever I didn’t feel the prying eyes of the grown ups or my peers would go off outside and act out my gravity falls x pokemon x warrior cats fanfiction (I’m not sure if those are signs of maladaptive daydreaming disorder or I simply had an intense imagination that would consume my body and make me want to just act out my fanfictions outside. I don’t do this anymore, mostly because of my own embarrassment and I can just write it out.) Yes, there were times where the discussion or action played out Bill Cipher being real. A lot of my “play” as I called it back then was me being kidnapped or possessed by Bill. I even wrote some really cringey fanfics involving my friends and Bill Cipher. To this day, I still involve my family in my fanfiction, but more final drafts will have their names changed. Weirdmaggeddon was a common topic, as well as Bill Cipher possession.

As time went on, I had more dreams about Bill Cipher, fueling the obsession and the fact that Bill could be real. During my middle school years, I never had a crush on Bill Cipher, despite what my friends seem to think. My parents just took it as whatever and as long as I was happy and just working towards going to a neurotypical non-sped school. My crush on Bill Cipher didn’t start until I was in high school. I remember it specifically being Valentine’s Day 2020 when I learned that I have a crush on the triangle. My dreams of Bill would only get more frequent and worse from here (involving the typical horny teenage dream that I don’t want to elaborate because I feel weird doing so (you’ll see why later on.))

Now there’s typically nothing wrong with having a cartoon crush. Given any other cartoon character that doesn’t have a canon history of influencing this world (Bill’s history of influence is vague but it still counts) I would excuse this as another silly cartoon crush like PurpleCliffe simping for Cynthia and the like. However, given that it’s in the show’s canon that Bill could be real and he crossed over to our world, do you understand what implications this could have? Bill is trillions of years old, he’s likely seen every timeline to ever exist. Meanwhile, there are whole armies of fankids who are down bad for him (including me.)

Notice how when I first started getting into Gravity Falls that I didn’t have a crush on him. How many other fankids felt the same way? It wasn’t until years of obsessing over Gravity Falls did I develop feelings for him. And of Alex says in the Book of Bill Cipher what I think he’s going to say (that Bill probably ab*sed Ford sexually with possible g*ooming involved), notice the pattern that is being presented here? Alex, if you blur the lines between fiction and reality with a villain who may or may not have canonically g*oomed and abused someone, possibly using mind control given his powers and his role as a dream demon, could it really be so far fetched that… (I’m not going to say it because it’s leaving a sour taste in my mouth, but use your imagination.)

If we take Alex’s word that Bill has crossed over to our world, then we can only assume that there are vulnerable kids and adults being… You get the picture. I’m not explicitly saying that it is happening right now, but this is problematic because revealing that Bill ab*sed Ford in that way means that Alex would probably imply that Bill is doing the same to MINORS. I may sound paranoid and this may just be a ramble, but considering the show’s canon and how mythology is filled with cases of degenerative acts from deities, this is a really fucked up situation.

It may be funny to say “haha, evil triangle man is sexy” but at the end of the day, Alex stated that Bill has crossed over into our world. For all we know, he could be taking advantage of the fact that people thirst for him, probably not in pleasant ways.

[nihidea-art]

What's one really Not Metal thing Metalh!Ed secretly likes and is lowkey ashamed of

Bonus points if you also draw his reaction to being found out (by Al, Winry, Roy, whoever)

MetalhEd loves to bake!

It all started a few months after he and Al first moved in together, when he wanted to bake a birthday cake for Al.

It was a bit of a disaster and Ed was upset because he just wanted to make it a special day for Al since they hadn’t been able to celebrate their birthdays properly in so long. Of course Al loved the gesture anyways, but Ed couldn’t let it go, so he started watching Youtube videos and stuff to learn more about it and figure out what went wrong. And then he found a channel making videos about the science of baking, and it was all over.

So it became a new obsession and he started baking constantly always trying out different recipes and techniques and experimenting and… okay so, yes, there is a science and a skill to baking bread too, but Ed is drawn to the precision and attention to detail required for French patisserie. So what if it’s not very metal, he enjoys the challenge of making macarons and petit fours and anyway, his French patisserie features a disproportionate amount of chocolate skulls and black butter cream, shut up.

(more infodump in the readmore)

ANYWAY Al is a bit mystified and amused but certainly not complaining because he gets to eat all the things that Ed bakes. Which Ed makes use of to buy his brother’s silence (…. As it were), because “you tell anyone about this and no more eclairs for you I swear to fuck”. Still it’s too much for the two of them to eat on their own so occasionally Ed brings some of it to uni or when he meets his punk friends, except he tells all of them it’s Al who makes them. Not sure how many of them buy it, though.

Ed’s baking ends up being something that brings him and Al closer together again, after they spent some of their formative years mostly apart and have to figure each other out again when they’re suddenly living together. Outside of science/studying they don’t have that many interests in common; they like different movies and different music, have different styles and hobbies … but the baking helps because it gives them something to do together; not just the baking and eating itself, but also religiously watching The Great British Bake-Off together.

[something-about-sunflowers]

Anyway! Have some rambling about an AU I thought of in my discord server a while back (mostly just gonna copy/paste it lmao):

Ed's super into paranormal shit, runs one of those youtube channels that reads stories/shows videos of hauntings/etc. He desperately wishes for something paranormal to happen to him. His best friend/fwb/'whatever they got going on', Izzy, is a skeptic.

Ed's new boyfriend, Stede, insists that he's a medium and that there's something haunting Izzy's house. Izzy always has an explanation though. (The lights are flickering because the place is old as shit and the electricity is shot. There are cold spots because the windows are drafty and the house isn't well insulated The creaks and thumps are the house settling or animals in the crawl-space. Etc.)

Ed calls him a buzz-kill but ultimately lets him be with his explanations until something happens that could have legit hurt Izzy (Honestly not sure what yet, maybe something falls that shouldn't have been able to or he gets locked in the basement all night in the middle of winter? Something like that.) and Ed is worried so he asks his other friend, Jack (who has his own youtube channel, where he does paranormal investigations as a medium), to come over and have a look to see if he can help.

Izzy thinks they're all full of shit but Jack agrees to not record it for his channel so Izzy lets Ed have this because 'I care about you Iz. I know you don't believe in all this shit but I'm worried and it would just make me feel better, letting you keep staying in this place, if someone came and looked at it.' and Izzy can't say no to that.

Izzy's surprised Jack isn't more like Ed (who's got the whole goth aesthetic) or Stede (who's got the whole 'white gay appropriating other people's cultural myths for clout' vibe) but just a normal (if a little frat-like) dude.

Jack's understanding of him being a skeptic and doesn't try to convince him, just talks about what he is thinking and feeling. He even commends him for checking the practical possibilities first (had the place tested for black mold/replaced the co detectors/etc) and he keeps getting little digs in at Stede so he lets them keep doing their thing without much fuss.

So he's not as dickish as he could be when he's told 'Yeah I mean, Steve's picking up on something, but man he's just barely dipping his pinky-toe in it to be honest? My heebies are fully jeebied!'

Stede starts to object about the name but Ed jumps in with a 'So the house is haunted?'

And Jack's like 'No. Whatever's here, it's not here for the house. It's here for Izzy.'

(I don't have much of the in between, because I like concepts but am notoriously bad at following through, but the gist is: Izzy gets full on possessed at some point, they all manage to save him, and afterwards Jack takes him out on a date to Waffle House.)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

There was a party outside the Bill Murray pub yesterday, home to Angel Comedy, a really really cool comedy club in London. They had comedians doing sets out of windows and off of rooftops, a situation in which filming and sharing the film on the internet is fair game, because if you don’t want the shit you say posted online, you shouldn’t shout it from a rooftop to a crowded yard in the middle of the afternoon. As such, yesterday I posted a video of Sam Campbell’s set, which was fucking awesome and everyone should go watch it and take the advice in his crowd work about downloading videos off YouTube.

Sam Campbell talked some shit about Nish Kumar during his set, and this is because Nish was the headline act, so he was in the area to make Sam say horrible things or whatever else he was accused of doing. Well guess what, everyone? That guy who filmed Sam Campbell also got Nish Kumar’s entire 24-minute set, which is fucking amazing. I have been lucky enough to hear a lot of stand-up comedy in the last couple of years, and this specific video, for the novelty of the occasion and the timing and everything else, is one of my favourite things I’ve gotten. And I’m allowed to share it. Because if you don’t want the things you say shared on the public internet, you shouldn’t shout them from a rooftop like, to quote the eighth wonder of the world, a fucking Beatle. (This weirdly is not the first time I’ve said the following sentence on this blog: “That analogy is of course imperfect, because hopefully Nish Kumar has beaten fewer women than John Lennon.”) When I made my post yesterday comparing the rooftop comedians to Beatles, I had not yet heard Nish Kumar’s set in which he did the same thing. I mean, it’s a very obvious comparison to make and was probably everyone’s first thought, but still, let me have this, I like that I chose the same comparison as Nish Kumar.

This is so fucking cool. This is, as Nish acknowledges right at the beginning, pretty much exactly how Nish Kumar is meant to be. He should always be shouting his material from a fucking rooftop, really. I’ve heard him talk in podcasts about how weird it is (in good ways and bad ways) that sometimes some of his gigs start to feel like a rally, but I’ve heard a bunch of Nish Kumar stand-up gigs and I’ve never heard that rally effect before this one. The way the audience cheers and whoops the more significant points, that’s the rally he’s described on podcasts. I’m going to guess the rally effect was triggered 5% because a major general election has just been called so everyone’s feeling pretty hyped up about politics, and 95% because it’s pretty hard to shout political screeds to a gathered crowd from a literal rooftop and have it not turn into a rally. I’ve heard plenty of Nish Kumar stand-up before, but it was something excitingly different to see a Nish Kumar rally (obviously the rally effect has its downsides, as Nish has outlined in measured interviews on podcasts before, but I’m pretty sure this specific one was cool).

This was the Nish Kumar that the tabloids think he is, the Nish Kumar that’s caricatured by other comedians who make jokes about him, the Nish Kumar that he isn’t always. This was 24 minutes of material that was purely, specifically political. I say “specifically” because sure, all Nish’s material is political in the same way that everything is political, he can take cultural or sociological or personal topics and tie them back to some political lens. But this set was entirely material about specific party politics or politicians, which isn’t how he always is. Nish Kumar’s current show involves stuff about football injuries and eccentric billionaires and making fun of Ed Gamble and talking shit about right-wing comedians and terrible Channel 4 television shows and some movie about tennis and listening to podcasts on a train. He specifically chose, for this set, to skip all of those topics, stick entirely to his stuff about various governments, and make it a political rally. And given the nature of this occasion (shouting from an actual rooftop) and the current timing, I think that was a fairly cool decision.

I might be wrong, but I think he’s going to structure his current show, when it’s a proper coherent hour-long format, around that little government history lesson dating back to Gordon Brown, but fill it out with the other stuff, from here and his less explicitly political things. I’m not sure that that’s what he’s doing, but it’s my guess based on how he’s structured these WIP sets, and as I’ve said before, it’s not reached it’s final form yet but if he takes all his current bits and structures them all nicely around some historical context (I fucking love historical context), I think he might be currently stringing together the best stand-up show of the last whole bunch of years. Not Nish’s best show. The best show. The part of my brain that is careful with language is yelling at me to change that to “my favourite show”, which obviously would be much more accurate because comedy is subjective, but no, that part of my brain can fuck off for this one time. You heard me, I meant what I said. It’s the best stand-up show.

This isn’t that show, it’s 24 cherry-picked minutes of it, delivered from a rooftop with the passion of eighteen comedians and six political activists, and what more could you want than that? I have to admit, this video made me start to think… what do I have booked at 14:50 during my five days in Edinburgh this summer, on the four days when I am not currently booked to see Nish Kumar (in his regular show, not podcast)? And should I consider skipping any of them to see Nish Kumar’s show more than once? I won’t, obviously. That would be an absurd thing to do, a waste of the amazing and unique opportunity that the Edinburgh Fringe Festival offers to see that wide a range of acts in one place. I won’t do that. I’m just saying that for one moment, watching him near the end of his set with the wind in his hair like an action movie star/Beatle shouting at the audience at the top of his voice and doing everything at once, I did briefly consider it. Seriously, there's a bit near the end where he does look like he's doing a fight scene in a movie. I don't call him the eighth wonder of the world for nothing.

I am ridiculously lucky that the coolest person I know got this whole thing on video so I get to see it despite the size of the Atlantic Ocean, and anyone else reading this post is ridiculously lucky that you get ot see it too, definitely give this a watch. And a download, as Sam Campbell mentioned. It's not likely to get taken down any time soon or anything, it's just good to get in the habit of saving your media.

(Obligatory note: Obviously this also made me laugh, I always feel the need to clarify that with a Nish Kumar set where I talk about anything besides specifically how funny it was, because I feel like I'm validating the people who claim he's just a "political rally" guy and people like him because they agree with him and not because he's funny, I didn't talk about it much in this post because Nish is always funny so in this post I focused on what made this set different from the others, but yes this set was also very fucking funny, I figure that can just go without saying once in a while. I'll tell you what, the first time I listen to more than three minutes of a Nish Kumar stand-up set without having to catch my breath from laughter, I'll let you know. Until then, assume it's funny.)

[spagyricqueen]

Fun thoughts and details

So, I like lore. I love Forgotten Realms. I have a shelf dedicated to adventure modules and game books spanning back to AD&D 2nd ed. I've been in this thing for a while. I played the original Baldur's Gate games when they were new. And Icewind Dale. Neverwinter Nights 1 and 2.

I fell in love with everyone's favorite pale elf. Admittedly, not because of his vampirism (although, sure, I liked it. It was a fun detail). I love elves. (I just think they're neat). I have a thing for white haired characters with youthful visages. It's a mystery, truly. I think I'm beginning to understand that my attraction to Astarion beyond his vampirism might put me in the minority. That's okay. I know I'm not alone in this, at least.

He's interesting. I love his growth as a character. His ability to work through his demons, show genuine and unexpected compassion, and remain delightfully sarcastic and hilarious.

All this to say that when I approach the writing of my ridiculously long fic, I meticulously keep in mind the world Astarion lives in, as if I were a DM running a Forgotten Realms campaign. I ask questions about the distances between locations, the topography, the climate, the socio-economic structure of different cities, history, alliances, enemies, religions, ecology. I subscribed to Ed Greenwood's (creator of the Forgotten Realms setting) YouTube channel and joined his discord, just to have more resources for information. I have the wiki open constantly (I really want to insert flumphs somewhere in the story - they deserve more recognition. Especially the cloisters, they seem cute). And hey, I may get a few things wrong here in there, as many DMs do, and that's okay too. If it works for the story, who cares?

As much as I love fun head canons, my brain screeches with, "But would that exist in Faerûn? Is that how it works?" and proceed to look up medieval/historical equivalents. Keeping in mind, too, that it's a magical world, where gods exist and they are flawed.

I keep a separate file open so that I can copy/paste words that have stresses in them, even!

Selûne

Faerûn

Ancunín

I like words.

Because I take so much time with such details, I have also gone ahead and rolled up a character sheet for Astarion in my narrative. While he is now mortal, he remains an arcane trickster rogue at level 12. In my story, he's blind, so he occasionally has a disadvantage to attack rolls and his perception (which is rather high) is limited to sound, touch, and smell. However, because of his adaptations, he's cleverly learned to use the Darkness spell to his advantage.

Starting at 4th level (subsequently 8th, 10th, and 12th), he got an ability score increase, plus a dual wielding feat (I flubbed this for story reasons). I used the level 1 character sheet that came with the deluxe edition of the game, and used those as his base stats (ignoring that there were probably already applied modifiers).

Here are the new stats I gave him.

STR: 8 (-1)

DEX: 19 (+4)

CON: 14 (+2)

INT: 17 (+3)

WIS: 15 (+2)

CHA: 13 (+1)

Based on these stats, in my narrative, Astarion has an improved memory (INT) out of necessity, and has become more measured in his decisions (WIS) as a result of his condition, forcing him to think through his actions with caution. His spells are limited to those that don't require line of sight (except I did have him blindly shoot a fire bolt at a barrel during those Underdark shenanigans because PLOT). And he can't use ranged weapons. But I think he's still a very interesting rogue.

Yes, this is a long post to explain how Astarion has grown as a person in my story. Because I am nerd.

[kidflashimpulse]

[crashing through the wall, there’s rubble everywhere and I’m covered in dust, don’t worry about it] concept idea: the “are we messing with Adora?” scene from She-Ra, but with Ed and Bart

(It’s on YouTube titled “Catra distracting Adora” on a channel called mons)

loving the entrance i give it a solid 12/10 👏👏

just watched this 😭😭 HELP lol maybe i gotta start watching She-Ra !!

i’m guessing the context is: Ed trying to practice his zetabeam powers (Adoras powers r golden omg) and Bart totally being helpful by being a flirting pain 😂

at this point isn’t this a canon event lol

[fictionaddictcosplay]

Christmas fanfic

It all started, as Ed remembered well, during summer.

They were dating for a few months. They already had a few highs and lows, but they managed to make things work. They were walking hand in hand in the streets of Paris, not far from the cathedral, and it was… So fucking hot. Yet it was not Ed’s first summer in France, but really, he could not get used to it. It would have been bearable by the sea, but Paris was suffocating.

“I’m so glad we’re here! Paris is truly the most wonderful city in the world, don’t you think my dear?”

Ed couldn’t hold a smile. Stede was so… So Stede, and he would never want him otherwise.

“Tis’ a wonderful city. Especially in August. The lack of Parisians is so delightful, nearly enough to compensate the climate.”

“Oh, Ed! You don’t have to act like a misanthropic adventurer with me, keep this for your vlogs and just admit that you love it.”

Stede’s voice pretended to be properly indignated, but he had this lovely grin and that sparkle in the eye meaning he was teasing Ed, and happy to do so. Ed loved it so much. He replied with a frantic laugh:

“It is not misanthropic to say that Parisians are the most insufferable people on Earth, it is a fact. You can ask any French person.”

They were about to joyfully argue more, when a someone yelled from the other side of the street:

“Eddie!”

Ed blinked several times. Yes, it was indeed…

“Ann! What are you doing here?”

“Looking for a new armoire for the antique shop, obviously! Oh Mary will be thrilled to know I saw you...”

She ran towards them as she was chatting. Her very long hair, brown and wavy, seemed to flow from a gigantic hat. She wore a maxi green dress with several ruffles and frills, imitating silk – quite a good imitation. The décolletage was, as always, quite revealing. She said once to Ed, drunk, that she had made her spider tattoo in order to have a pretext to show her boobs to everyone. That was the one and only reason. Ed had no difficulties to believe it. He was quite drunk himself and replied that he was so scared of spiders, even a tattoo would frighten him, and maybe this was the reason he was gay, the view of her boobs traumatized him for ever… God. They were so young. And stupid.

Those were good times, and he remembered them with a smile, but there was no doubt: even if he had a chance, he would never want to be young again. He was much happier in his forties than he ever was in his twenties.

“And this is Stede! How come you never introduced him? You must visit us next time you’re passing by, Mary will make dinner! But Eddie, you haven’t even told me, what are YOU doing in Paris?”

“Romantic holidays.”

“Of course, what was I thinking? It would not be for business, obviously!”

It was obvious indeed. Ed had found a way to exist in the crowded, rapacious world of travelling Youtube channels by going to the farest and most dangerous places in the world. Sometimes with Izzy, but mostly on his own, with good shoes, salt-and-pepper hair tied in a bun and a book of poetry, in the wild. That was his brand. It was not an easy life, but it suited him much better than all the others careers he had before. He liked it a lot – at least, in the beginning.

They chatted with Ann for a few more minutes before parting ways. They were approaching the Pont Neuf, and Stede stopped to look at the water. Ed embraced him, but he didn’t seem to care.

“You okay?”

“Of course. Just wondering… Will it work? I mean… What you are doing is special, what I want to do is not. Who will care about another travelling channel with an American in Paris? There are thousands of them already!”

“Hey. First, I care. Second, do you think that when I started, people cared about a grumpy New-Zealander in the Highlands?”

“You know what I mean. Your channel is unique.”

“Of course there are thousands of travelling channels full of Americans in Paris. But none of them has all the bitchy comments of Lucius. I was only on set for the wrap day and he cracked me every time. Your techies are good as well, especially Jim. And there’s you. I can swear that there is no one, and I mean, absolutely no one in the world, who would eat a quiche with mushrooms and think that they are snails. This is good TV. Good Youtube. Good everything. You can do it.”

“Thanks. And thanks for coming here with me. And for insisting to turn the cameras off for the weekend, I needed it.”

“Sure.”

Stede could be quite insecure at times. They kissed before heading back to their hotel. Ed told all the stories he could remember about Ann, Mary and himself in their youth, and Stede was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

“We should definitely visit them next time we’re in… Where do they live?”

“Thailand. In the kind of place that French people call le trou du cul du monde.”

“This is such a poetic language!”

“Right.”

Ed was raised with two languages and could speak fluently three more. Stede, who spoke only English, admired it deeply.

“She had a lovely dress. Not proper vintage, but really beautiful.” Stede said.

“Agreed.”

“It must be cooler than pants, by this weather.”

“Sure. You could try one on, if you want.”

“What?”

“I have a similar dress. Not here, of course, at home. You know, from the time I was a fashion designer.”

“Oh, I always forget about this one. Was it before or after the restaurant?”

“Before. After the restaurant, I was a mechanic.”

“Of course.”

Stede had this concentrated look, so concerned to learn everything he could about Ed, never judgmental. It felt so good. Ed liked to boast and say he could do anything, and he was actually proud of it, but it was not completely true. He could do anything, as long as it did not imply talking to people too much. No matter how hard he tried, he was not a people person, and it bothered him more than he wanted to admit. Even to Stede.

Stede. Right. He was in Paris with Stede for a romantic trip, not for spiraling.

“Anyways. Do you want to try this dress on once we get home?”

“Of course not!”

“Why not? Even if New-York is not as hot as Paris, it will still be Summer.”

“People will stare.”

“What people? I thought it would be just the two of us, you know. Like the time we exchanged clothes.”

“Oh. Right. But still. No.”

Ed looked at Stede.

Even now, he could remember the feeling. It was the precise moment when he felt that the atmosphere changed and that Stede was… Hesitant. Insecure. Something was not right. Stede was always up for anything and everything, it was a constant in their relationship. They both loved fashion and dressing up, especially with each other’s clothes. Stede refusing so firmly seemed very out of character.

“Okay.” Ed said softly.

“It’s not… because of you, or the dress, you know” Stede replied, almost with guilt. “But… Have you watched the movie Danish Girl? The main character realizes that she’s a trans woman when she tries a dress on. And I don’t want this to happen to me.”

Of course, Ed reassured Stede, told him it was fine, no problem at all. They both had several closets full of clothes to exchange and have fun with. They made back to their hotel, finished their holidays, and Ed didn’t think anymore about this odd conversation for a while.

But then he started to notice the small things. How Stede was smiling when Lucius called him “queen”. How he said “I am a happy thingie with you”, and never “I am a happy man”. How he said he didn’t like his body, except for his hair. Small things, really. Almost insignificant. But with the light of the dress conversation they had in Paris… Well, something was going on, right?

Ed sighed. Of course, something was going on, but he didn’t know how to address it. It was early December, Stede and him had been together for less than a year, and Ed could confidently say that he had never been with anyone remotely like Stede. He felt like he lacked experience.

Stede always said that he was the one lacking experience. He had been married for fifteen years to a woman and spent almost his whole life in the closet. Ed was his first man, but also his first love and his first real relationship.

Ed, on the other hand, had a lot of experiences and relationships. He had spent half of his youth and adult life hooking up with men, and the other half in unsatisfying and more or less toxic relationships. Stede knew about CJ, he even met him once, did not go well. And Izzy… God, Izzy. Ed hadn’t even tried to explain Izzy to Stede, because he was not quite sure himself of what they were. Or what they used to be. Izzy probably didn’t know either. Stede was very patient about that and never asked questions, even though he probably guessed a few things. Stede was amazing, too good to be true. Even a year after their first encounter, Ed felt like he didn’t deserve him. It was, by far, the healthiest relationship he ever had, and sometimes, he didn’t even know how to navigate it. What was he supposed to do?

It was not only a relationship matter, it was also a gender matter, and Ed didn’t feel qualified enough. He was not a part from this community and didn’t know anyone who was. He needed advice.

Who could he talk to about this? He was not that close to Mary and Ann anymore, and they were not very healthy people. His only friend was Izzy, and he would not talk to Izzy about Stede. Not in a million years.

Wait. Stede had friends. Maybe one of them would have an advice. Not Lucius, too chatty, he needed someone discreet. Nathaniel was too weird, he’d say something like “let’s all turn into birds” and it would not help. John would be too intimidating. Pete would tell Lucius… Oh, of course! Oluwande was just the guy Ed was looking for. Smart, caring, and the nicest person Ed ever met. Really, a guy you do want to ask advice from.

Alright, it was settled then. He had a few errands to do (their Christmas date was approaching, and Ed wanted more gifts), he would use this opportunity to pass by Oluwande’s place.

So he did and rang the bell. But the door didn’t open on Oluwande’s smile, as he expected: Jim was staring at him and looked quite angry. Ed knew it wasn’t personal, Jim was quite angry almost all the time. Izzy was like this as well.

“Hi. Hum, didn’t expect you here. Is Oluwande in?”

“No. He’s on a romantic weekend with Zheng. Lends me the flat so that I can have sex.”

“Oh. I thought you were dating Oluwande.”

“I am.”

Ed was getting more and more confused.

“What are you here for?” Jim asked, out of patience.

“I needed an advice, but if you’re busy...”

“I’m not. Archie cancelled last minute, she’s meeting with a guy from her former snake cult. Come in.”

Jim led him to a small living-room and served coffee, without commenting on the seven sugars. Ed did not feel very comfortable. Jim was actually really impressive. But he still needed the advice, right? After asking Jim for discretion, he explained the matter as best as he could.

Jim listened calmly and then asked:

“What kind of advice do you want here?”

“I’m not sure, mate. I don’t know anything about gender stuff. Do you think Stede might be trans?”

Jim laughed.

“I don’t thing he might, I know he is. Afraid of wearing a dress because he thinks it would magically make him a trans woman? This is literally the transiest trans shit I’ve ever heard and I’ve been on this scene for a while.”

“I’m not sure to understand.”

“Well he’s not a very conservative Republican. He knows that you can wear a dress and still be a man.”

“Of course. And he has seen me wear skirts several times. I am still a man while I do it.”

“Exactly. If he thinks that wearing a dress would be enough for his sense of masculinity to vanish… It means that it was probably not a very strong sense in the first place. Clothes are not magical wands changing your gender on their own. Your gender feelings come from yourself.”

Ed nodded pensively.

“It makes sense. So, what do you think I should do?”

“Nothing. Gender is a very, very personal thing. I told you what I thought, but even I can be wrong, the only person able to know Stede’s gender is Stede. If he’s not comfortable wearing a dress or doing things considered as feminine because of what it could awake in him, we are bound to respect that. The only thing you can do is tell him that trans people exist and that it is possible if he doesn’t know...”

“He does know.”

“Well then. Let him walk on his own path and discover new things about himself, or not. You can be there to support him, but you can’t walk for him. D’you see what I mean?”

“I think I do.”

“Tell him that you’ll be there, no matter what. Tell him that you think he’s beautiful – not handsome, not pretty, beautiful. Apart from that… As would say a great man, you need to wait and see.”

Ed smiled.

“Thanks a lot. ‘Tis good advice.”

“I surely hope so! Why did you want to ask Olu instead of an actual trans person?”

“Olu seems like a nice g… Wait. Are you trans?”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

Ed’s astonished face answered for him and Jim burst into laughter.

“Come on! We’ve met several times, everyone refers to me as “they”, you never noticed?”

“Guess I wasn’t paying attention.”

“But the mullet? And the bag with trans flag colours?”

Ed felt more confused than ever – what had a mullet to do with anything? Jim laughed again.

“I can lend you a few books about trans issues and culture. I’m pretty sure there are some things you can learn!”

Ed came home with a pile of books and some chocolates, “they’re fair trade, from a queer cooperative I know”. He started to read this very evening. All of this was very interesting, and confirmed what Jim had said: ultimately, it was Stede’s own path.

A few weeks passed, or rather fled. Ed was very busy with uploading the last videos on his channel, buying gifts (no matter how hard he tried to make lists, he always forgot one and needed to go back shopping, only to discover once home that he forgot another one). Their Christmas date was approaching, they chose the date of 23th of December because Stede spent Christmas Eve with his children.

It was their first Christmas date, so everything needed to be perfect. Ed spent hours to elaborate a menu, do groceries, make decorations and plan his outfit. He was determined: this would be a date to be remembered for decades at least!

On the due date, he woke up early to finish the flat’s cleaning. Then he started to get ready. He chose a very plain, classic black shirt, to be paired with what he knew to be his most dashing winter skirt. Stede didn’t see it yet, and Ed was excited to show him. It was a vintage emerald skirt, floor-length, all in velvet, closed by its original leather-covered button.

Stede arrived an hour later, wearing skinny grey pants and a white frilly shirt, holding a bottle of wine. When Ed opened the door, Stede looked at him, with an amazed expression in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he didn’t seem to know what and close it again. He was so lovely… Ed couldn’t help but tease him.

“You won’t even hug me?”

“Oh, sorry! I’m… You… You look great.”

He leaned for a kiss, and Ed noticed that his shirt was open, unveiling his chest. Oh God. It was his punishment for teasing, he couldn’t think about anything to say, how could anyone be that gorgeous? They made out for a while, unable to stop, like teenagers.

“’m glad to have not started dinner yet” Ed said finally. “I would have let it burn.”

Stede giggled.

“I look forward to taste... your dinner.”

Ed was not the kind of guy to blush, but he did this time. Stede went on:

“You look dashing. This skirt is gorgeous.”

He passed his hands along the velvet, caressing the fabric.

“It is so soft, I love it!”

He raised his head and looked at Ed straight in the eyes:

“Do you want to do something weird?” ****

Stede’s grey pants were way too tight for Ed, but he didn’t care. All he could look to was Stede, in front of his mirror, with his frilly shirt and the velvet skirt. He embraced him from behind and looked at him in the glass:

“You are so beautiful. How do you feel?”

“Weird.”

“Weird-good or weird-bad?”

“I don’t know. I always thought… I always thought it’d be different. That I would be a different person if I had a dress or… But I feel like me. Is it weird?”

“Is it weird to feel like yourself? I don’t think so. I think it’s a good thing.”

“Do I look like a man?”

“You look like you. Do you feel like a man?”

“No. I never did.”

Stede turned towards Ed, worried.

“I’ve never said it out loud.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be a man. You can be whoever you want to be.”

Stede looked again at the mirror.

“I don’t know who I want to be.”

“It’s okay too.”

“Somehow I always imagined that it would feel feminine to wear a skirt, but it doesn’t. I don’t feel like a woman. I feel like me. Both different and the same, but completely me. I might be non-binary, like Jim.”

Ed hold him tighter and kissed him in the neck. He couldn’t believe at what he heard. Only six months had passed since Stede had refused to try a dress on in Paris… He had evolved so much!

“I love you. You are the most beautiful person in the world, no matter what your gender is.”

They kissed again. It tasted like freedom, joy and pride.

“Now that we both acknowledged that this skirt fits me much better than you, what about taking it off?” Stede whispered.

“’m all here for it. Or you could keep it on.”

“I haven’t thought about that, but I love the idea” Stede replied, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

[adachicuto]

last date before wedding with ptg

warning(s): food and wine mentions

↳ jinho: helping him with a cover of a song for youtube and it’d be a pretty romantic song maybe ed sheeran thinking out loud or john legend or maybe something else like eyes, nose, lips and you wouldn’t realize that he got you singing. i don't think he'd post it and just want to save it for the two of you to rewatch. it wouldn’t matter to him if you were an amazing singer or not, just being able to share that moment with you would be enough for him. so, it would probably become a tradition where you'd rewatch the cover for every wedding anniversary, and maybe you would cover more songs together each time as a little segment on his youtube channel and the members would text him and tease him about it every time lol

↳ hui: i get the feeling that he would bring you to a really nice yet underrated restaurant where smooth jazz is played and people are allowed to go onstage and perform a song. both of you would have the biggest smiles on your faces because the date would be reminiscent of your first one. you'd end the date off with really good wine and of course, hui would go onstage and sing (he'd claim it as practice for your big day) and would leave the audience stunned by his amazing vocals. on the drive home, his hand would never leave yours and he'd probably fidget with your engagement ring with a huge smile on his face.

↳ hongseok: your "date" would be so sweet and domestic because hongseok just gives me homey vibes. like, you'd both go to the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner and a dessert you both like. idk it would be the cutest thing and then you'd head back home and he'd start cooking while you worked on the dessert and you'd definitely catch him staring at you every few minutes with a goofy smile on his face and he'd wiggle his eyebrows playfully. you'd step away for a second to back-hug him and hongseok would smile to himself before he'd turn around to kiss you and he'd pull away to say something really cheesy but it would still put a smile on your face.

↳ yeo one: i think changgu would plan the cutest little picnic in the park for both of you. he'd pack some of your favorite foods and snacks and would even get you flowers or something. it would be the cutest thing and he'd take a flower and put it behind your ear and you'd do the same to him and then you'd go back and forth about who's the prettiest lol then the two of you would lie down and cloud gaze. idk i can see a really adorable dog running over to the two of you and it would really like changgu and it would be such a cute moment that would lead you to discuss the possibility of adopting a dog after the wedding. once the sun would start to settle below the horizon, you'd head home and would probably spend the rest of the day watching a show or movie.

↳ shinwon: both of you would agree on going to a spa and maybe a little shopping. i could definitely see him goofing around with you while in the sauna by making weird faces and telling you funny stories. then, he'd have you rest your head on his shoulder and he'd smile to himself. then, he'd tell you about how he was so nervous to propose to you. after a few minutes he'd realize that you weren't talking only to find you asleep. so, he'd make sure that you would be comfortable and would relax too. i think he'd love to spoil his s/o so he'd really enjoy going to the spa with you and it'd be a nice break from all of the wedding prep. on the way home, you'd both decide on ordering in bc neither of you would want to cook after being at the spa.

↳ yanan: he'd wake up extra early to get your favorite breakfast foods and coffee. when he'd make it back to your apartment he'd be met with you half asleep on the couch and would quickly put everything down to cuddle with you for a few minutes and then you'd eat breakfast together. afterward, the two of you would get ready to go and yanan wouldn't tell you but it would all make sense later. so, the two of you would go to multiple places throughout the city and you were thankful that they wouldn't be too far and at each stop, you and yanan would talk about what happened at each, like, one place was where he took you for your first date and another would be where you both said you loved each other for the first time. looking back on all of the memories would make both of your hearts feel so full.

↳ yuto: i think you'd go to an aquarium or botanical garden and it would be on a day when it wouldn't be so busy and the two of you could goof around and take funny pictures of each other imitating the animals. throughout the date, you'd both feel like little kids on a field trip again. both of you would stop every few minutes to stare at something you'd find interesting and the look on your faces at that moment would be so adorable and you'd have to capture the moments. after that, you would go get something to eat and then walk back to your apartment. on the walk, you'd both reminisce about how you met, your first date, and how he proposed to you.

↳ kino: i feel like hyunggu would go all out but it would still be a pretty laid-back date idk if that makes sense but he'd sign you up for a couples' dancing class where you'd learn how to tango and it would be so romantic and fun, even if you're not much of a dancer. after that, you'd go back home to shower and then he'd take you out to a really nice restaurant for dinner. the two of you would be so impressed with your meals but the highlight of your would be getting ice cream or your favorite dessert from your favorite place but then on your way back home it'd start raining and you'd have to wait it out inside a nearby cafe with steaming cups of tea. the whole situation would be pretty funny to both of you and it'd make for a nice moment to look back on.

↳ wooseok: being the youngest, i don't think he'd plan everything out and would just go with the flow. so, i think wooseok would also enjoy a night in with you as your date, especially if it would be a rainy day. he'd go and get your favorite snacks and drinks the day before and would surprise you with everything. the two of you would spend the day watching movies, playing video games, and just enjoying the calm before your wedding day. somehow, you'd end up talking about some of your embarrassing moments early on in your relationship and neither of you would be able to stop laughing and maybe you'd each go through your camera roll and it'd be a really cute moment for both of you.

[haydenssmolspace]

30 days of agere day 1!

I have been regressing for most of my life, even as a bio kid I’ve always regressed, for me, it is mostly involuntary, but can be voluntary too. I don’t really have an answer on why I started regressing I don’t know I do know I have some kind of trauma from my childhood that most likely caused it, but my brain blocks it so i I cant say specifically what it is. However, I didn’t know what I was doing until I was 14 years old and how I found out was when I was watching YouTube one day I found Riley’s YouTube channel and then my regression started to make sense to me and I started to learn more about regression, and then figured out that I was just an age regressor and not just weird, and then I knew I wasn’t alone. (I miss Riley so much. I hope he returns to YouTube one day, but I doubt it I love going back and watching his videos)

DNI/DNF: homophobes,transphobes, racists basic criteria, NSFW/KINK, fatphobes, ed accs, sh accs, any form of discourse account

[aadme108intership]

Physics Wallah: A Marketing Case Study

Who wouldn’t think that a normal youtube channel could turn into a billion-dollar ed-tech giant? And that’s the story of Physics Wallah for you. But the question is how did they do it? Let’s dive into their marketing strategies of Physics Wallah case study to understand what made them from a normal youtube channel to a ed-tech giant.

Content is King: the foundation of PW

Physics wallah didn’t need any fancy marketing gimmick to start their brand. They focused on what truly matters despite jumping on trends that don't even make sense to their audience. They create high quality engaging content with consistency for free to publish on youtube so anybody can go and learn about it by doing this they cater to the student’s audience which doesn’t help them build the trust among students but also a loyal following. They understood that students don’t just only want boring lecture videos but more than facts; they needed clear explanation, engaging and friendly teachers to solve their doubts. Physics wallah fulfilled all these needs of the students.

Leveraging social media

Once building a base of audience on social media, Physics Wallah knew to keep them engaged. Their social media strategy was on point. From interactive classes to fun-loving teachers, they have cracked the code to connect with students along with that they keep experimenting by posting on different platforms to reach a wider audience.

Building a Community

Having a community is the backbone of any successful brand. Physics Wallah promoted a sense of belonging among their students. They encourage interactions, feedback and collaboration. By creating a space where students feel valued and connected to those brands helped a lot to Physics Wallah in building a strong community.

Affordability with accessibility

While free content was a good attraction, they offered paid courses as well but here is the thing: they priced their courses accordingly. It not helped students to purchase it easily due to its affordability but it also helped them target a wider group of students. This accessibility combined with the quality of their content makes their paid offerings highly desirable.

Alakh Pandey: Personal Branding

Alakh Pandey, the face of physics wallah, is a star in his own right. His relatable teaching style and genuine personality have made him a known name among students. By building a strong personal brand not only helped him boost the company’s image but also created a loyal community as well on his own.

Data-driven decision making

Physics wallah isn’t just winging it. They’re using data to inform their marketing strategies because analyzing their student’s data they curated the content, made their courses affordable and accessible to create offerings to meet their audience’s needs.

Physics Wallah’s journey is the result of the power of digital marketing and when it is combined with a genuine passion for education. Their focus on providing Value, building a community, and leveraging technology has helped them a lot to reach at the top of the mountain. While replicating their success might not be that easy but there’s definitely a lot to learn from their strategy.