#eat my shit if u don’t like it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iifishizzleii · 9 months ago

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hot take, very opinionated, might offend the masses but-

fics where the cod men wait until reader is 18 to fuck them is NOT cute🥰

fics that highlight the reader’s soft, small, hairless, and (quite literally) child-like figure in contrast to the cod men is NOT cute🥰

fics that only describe skinny white girls who are just so ‘fragile and feminine’ is NOT cute🥰

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rist-ix · 6 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭

Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3

#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho #if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate #which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons #which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside #because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits #if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon #(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for #1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom #2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her #3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting #where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs #they get IMPACT FRAMES #the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them #I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time #let’s go straight to Bloom #if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination #she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her #Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that #it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons #literally PERFECT foils #which always makes for the juiciest stories #4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode #5) she can literally feel his presence #6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix #of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship #all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!

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notebookpapers · 1 year ago

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bg3 why is socially acceptable for Gale to keep eating our shit but if I let Astarion bite me for a little midnight snack suddenly I’m the freaky weirdo for fornicating with vampires

#I’m just saying #like yes he’s hot but also #we have SEVERAL murderers in this party #and suddenly HE’S the weird one for just wanting something to eat???#yeah I get it he’s a vampire SHADOWHEART CAN HEAL ME I’LL BE FINE #in conclusion gale pls stop taking my shit #Astarion as long as you say please and don’t kill me u may use me as a capri sun #Karlach ur an angel honey ily sm #bg3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 gale #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep

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gunkbaby · 5 months ago

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Ghouls never get to experience Dr Pepper think about that for a minute

#Hate when i open a bottle of Dr Pepper zero and it explodes like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!#That’s my nectar!!!!!!!!!!!!#tg gunk #Tokyo ghoul #poor ghouls don’t get shit #No matcha lattes no Dr Pepper no monster ultra they stronger than me fr fr fr #Never even had persimmon…mon dieu #I’d kill myself #Never experience the crispness of a pringle #i don’t even eat Pringles but u have to experience that crunch at least once #they can’t have Olive Bread of hummus or vegan tuna….#no broccoli 4 them

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beastoftheblackhole · 8 months ago

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radicalized by having food allergies that aren’t one of the big seven

#Ingredients should be listed in excruciating detail on every product and I’m not fucking joking #No more ‘xyz and natural flavors’ u tell me exactly what’s in there or I’m putting a brick thru ur windshield #If it isn’t on the package it should be clearly listed on t the website #This post brought to u by the fact that the supplier for one o the campus snack bars doesn’t have their muffin ingredients anywhere #It’s not even on the box they fucking come in #They just list which of the big seven allergens are in a given muffin and that’s it #I don’t give a shit abt ‘trade secrets’ or ‘proprietary’ or any of that crap #I care that eating one makes me feel like someone is squeezing my entire digestive tract like a stress ball #Jasper’s complaint box

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thedvilsinthedetails · 9 months ago

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(Mildly) dyspraxic Barty Crouch Jr HC is back (I’m dyspraxic btw) and like just

dyspraxic Barty being secretly really insecure abt eating in public bc he knows he’s a rlly messy eater but he tries like rlly hard and then one time Evan wants to go to like a restaurant and he’s like having internal panic about it bc that’s like horrifying but he goes anyway bc yk he’s in love w Evan so

and yeah that’s it lol

#Look I know it’s not like an insanely big issue #But as a dyspraxic person and also left handed (bc I hc both of those for Barty)#It’s actually really really fucking embarrassing when you find it so hard to cut ur food u literally just like. Don’t. Or can’t or whatever #And like the trying so hard to not eat messily that’s defo an insecurity everyone has but like it’s so so hard to even eat like basic shit #Without being messy bc the coordination is not there my man it is not there #My hands don’t know where my face is when I’m eating crisps LMAO #marauders #dead gay wizards #marauders era #harry potter marauders #marauders fandom #barty being barty #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #barty jr #evan x barty #barty x evan #rosekiller #dyspraxic Barty hc

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exopelagic · 3 months ago

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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film #I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates #has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be #how this guy is yknow #on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces #rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open #(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty #and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and #I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying #and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen #but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today #and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like #washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy #and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home #and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc #and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left #bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all #and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself #these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet #and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar #he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude #now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend #he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday #regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection #of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know #well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt

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makkie-is-screaming · 3 months ago

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My dad keeps talking about weight loss and dieting 🫠

#N now he’s skipping meals and won’t shut up about it which I can’t deal with #and he’s eating a ton of fruit which is making my brother get into it n now there’s like nothing left n I don’t want to eat anything else #I can’t u wanna talk about dieting and weight loss constantly and eat all my safe foods but then guilt me when I won’t eat #N they keep showing me their food like making big ass fruit plates and then calling me over n saying “look I’m eating like you”#I don’t want to see it it just pisses me off stop!!!!#and now I’m in a shit mood trying to finish packing #and it’s so stupid bc I didn’t buy the fruit it’s not mine and it’s good that they’re eating fruit #i just get irrationally angry over it and then I feel gross bc wdym I’m getting angry over food #:(#screaming

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patheticpuppyboyslut · 5 months ago

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(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.

#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see #there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity #(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of #ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try #it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol #still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS #it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i #hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that #i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about #in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME #so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal #unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though #will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that

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elysiumcalled · 1 year ago

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My little cousin that we’re babysitting stole my last cans of Pepsi in the middle of the night how am I supposed to FUEL MY ADDICTIONNNN

#also right I was looking for food and just said idk what to have for lunch out loud #and she was like #you have kitkats and mars bar in the cupboard #bro had been snooping though our cupboards 😂#mum had to tell her she can’t eat them bc it’s mine and my friends to take when we get tattoo today lmfaoooo #I actually dont like children lol #(not bc of the Pepsi dw)#she’s a little thief and a liar and still shits herself for attention #(real)#😃#not to out anyone’s business lol she won’t know it’s fine u don’t know her #(no she’s not a small child)#(she should have grown out of this stuff years ago)

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bagelbucket · 1 year ago

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sometimes I’ll open the trending page to see what’s new and the second I lock eyes with that generic washed out tumblr genre of “raw line” posts I go a little insane. comedy doesn’t mean anything when everyone is trying to be funny.

#bagel talk time #it’s always like those STUPID philosophical posts that try and sound soooo cool #and like. Yeah I understand the tumblr mindset and we eat that shit up #But like #half of you saw that while u we’re on Twitter or pintrest and decided that’s what you needed #for people on here to like you #and you literally don’t #tumblr doesn’t have the same algorithm as other sites. You dont need to pretend to be something you aren’t.#all of my famous posts were shitty jokes with mutuals #and the stuff I TRIED to get picked up was ignored #just be genuine on social media you’ll feel better I prommy #anyways. I’m ranting like I’m investing but. erm. awkward #I could care less really. Post what you wanna post #just be kind to urself

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cakesdown · 2 years ago

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Do u ever have a piece of horror media everyone loves but you just Do Not and you feel like you’re going insane when u can’t find any criticism for it anywhere

#I’m not gonna say what it is but it’s one where a real life crime involving a child was nabbed as a ooo scary plot point #I’m sorry I don’t care how impressive ur horror piece is you’re exploiting an irl crime. it’s disgusting #same w some films that have done this. i hate watching reviews of horror movies and it’s fine but then the op is like-#-oh btw this was ~inspired~ by an irl crime #eat my shorts seriously #how do u sleep at night lol #SORRY TO RANT IM JUST WATCHING A BUNCH OF HORROR VIDS TODAY LOL #oh shit i should clarify. i mean the people who made the films should eat my shorts

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entropys · 1 year ago

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#had the worst day ever #last week things got a little better but today just destroyed all the progress i made #its so FRUSTRATING #how emotionally unstable i am 🫠#like idek if im just overly sensitive or ive really just been let down over and over again #and like bc of this i KNOW i shouldn’t expect ANYTHING at all not even human decency from others #but i still have hope unfortunately so i get crushed every time something goes wrong (all the time everyday)#today i woke up early to go run some errands and got home late at night #and the whole day i only had one piece of bread and iced tea #and like. i KNOW this is exactly why i feel awful and terrible and everything is shit #which is why its even more frustrating bc i can’t do anything about it when im this depressed rn…#and like . its really annoying that everything is just going so wrong that i give up on it all bc i just can’t deal with anything #i don’t even have my best friend anymore to complain to #i really really reallly can’t do this alone but ig this is how it’ll be for a long time #it’s been like this since early july… honestly i don’t even think things will get any better soon #seeing how even tho i made some progress last week i lost it all now and i will keep losing it over and over again #im going crazy really #and i wish my parents would stop making me feel guilty that im depressed #like genuinely what do you want me to do about it?????#you get annoyed at me when i don’t eat the food you make when u know im insane and paranoid and cannot eat this ive told u a million times #and the worst thing is that they KNOW what i like and eat but they don’t make it ever they keep making the food i can’t eat #like u can’t expect me to go inside the kitchen and make it myself bc i will literally pass out and die #im not kidding when i say this bc so many times i try and i really faint bc of the distress it makes me feel #i feel like this might sound extremely stupid to anyone who hasn’t experienced it but that’s just how it is here #anyway im gonna go to sleep now even tho im probably gonna die of frustration #i don’t think i’ll even wake tomorrow x_x my head feels like it might explode any second now #we have a family gathering tomorrow but im ditching them so ill probably just sleep until tuesday 😀 great #(i say this bc its 7am rn… by tomorrow i mean today but it’s tomorrow in my head bc im still up)

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imfromthemiddlekingdom · 1 year ago

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Why are you, as a Twitter refugee, bringing up shit we’ve settled in 2016. Legit like if you want to have petty arguments do it in the dms, I don’t want to see a rehash of 2016 tumblrs 10 top discourse(!!!) in 2023. If I see anyone of y’all rehashing bs that’s been discussed to death and resolved I’m going to increase my block list from 1k to 10k and blocking every single one of you who’ve came from Twitter and do not understand why most of us do not want to participate in your Twitter drama circle jerk.

#twitter refugees #legit had to block 30+ people today for rehashing irrelevant shit #idc if you think consensual cannibalism is alright fuck off #you Hannibal wannabe pos #why r u up in my reblogs mentioning how it’s ‘totally okay to eat ppl if they say it’s cool uwu’#nah no thanks #you’re just nasty and I bet you don’t wash your body properly #thank god it happened on my main acc cuz otherwise I’d go batshit if I saw those ppl on this blog #those freaks found one of my old post on why cannibalism is not something leftists should support #like a 7 year old post on my main n started trying to debate me #can’t you freaks take a hint that a blog that hasn’t posted in 4 years isn’t active anymore?#I do not want to entertain your shit takes nor do I want your rancid presence anywhere near me

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curiosity-killed · 2 years ago

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14, 15, 26. (I love this ask set, some of it is so normal and some of it is truly bonkers batshit bizarre)

It is so chaotic 😂 ideal honestly

14. do you think you’re dehydrated?

the irony of this is that I refilled my home waterbottle right before moseying to bed to write and I have neither had any of the water nor written anything. So probably a lil bit!

15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

This is terrible and I hate it. Burning -> freezing -> drowning

We talked a fair amount in my freshman (HS) lit class about how quickly you pass out when being burned alive so. I will just hope that is true!

26. how’s your spice tolerance?

So according to my family’s tolerance, it’s very bad. Also based on the way I react to eating, touching, or breathing near them, I’m probably allergic to peppers. According to not-my-immediate-and-sort-of-weirdly-judgmental??-family it’s medium-ish. I tend to tap out somewhere in the north range of habaneros or scotch bonnets (but get a skin reaction from anything above jalapeños >:( )

random specific asks

#my sister gives me so much shit for my spice tolerance #and then turns around and is like actually. you have a higher spice tolerance than any of my friends including all the ones who did grow up #eating spicy shit #and I’m like :/ I love the normal standards in this family and how SOMEHOW they extend to fucking peppers #anyway u will never take peppers away from me I don’t care how itchy I get or how horrible my hands feel <3 #asked & answered #random ask game #apaladinagain

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sammygender · 2 years ago

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i literally don’t understand what it’s like to be boring. like sorry i guess i’m just built different. imagine possessing the ability to say no. imagine not being incredibly, deeply, maladpatively impulsive. i always attract people who i love but are just like sorta loser adjacent as in they never are up to do Crazy Random Shit (and all of them CLAIM it’s because someone needs to be ‘responsible’ out of us but like i am an older brother and very intelligent i’m just impulsive while i’m smart💔) and always whine at ME for doing things that AREN’T EVEN THAT CRAZY! like sorryyy that my life is interesting and i can’t Not Do Things. sorry that i am not someone who worries in a way that stops him from doing anything. maybe i just befriend too many people with anxiety disorders but that’s not even it cause you can have an anxiety disorder and still Not Be Boring. like being boring is a state of mind. just stop it. sometimes it’s easier to say yes so like why are you even saying no

#‘i can’t be bothered’ BE BOTHERED.#and then when they act like IM somehow worse for it like no??? sorry that ur boring and wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t for me??#i’ll like do ONE tiny slightly unhinged thing like. idk! smoke a random cigarette from an ash tray #or like talk a lot about jumping over train tracks #or attempt to climb over a barbed wire fence into one of those electrical thingys because there’s a whole pretty grassy area #or like eat muffins off the ground cause i wanted to see what they were like #or miss my stop 3 times in a row and completely change the plan of where i was going to #and suddenly it’s all like. ohhhh you’re so irresponsible i need to keep an eye on you #like. girl. you realise i do this shit alone too and i am always completely fine #newsflash but i know how to use bus systems i know how to get home from places i wouldn’t actually kill myself on train tracks or barbed #wire and ingesting some weird toxin is not going to immediately kill me #i didn’t even ask u to do it with me i just saw a fun opportunity and toon it. DONT #be a spoilsport. don’t judge💔#like u think this is me crazy?#ohhh u haven’t even seen me crazy. trust i can be a LOT more crazy #oliver talks #need more friends who match my energy fr

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