#eat dry we all do
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Star The Swiping There, Start All this for 4.99 I should of fried my own Could’ve fried a whole bag Had way much more Thank You Large! No cups of condiment included! Nor napkins Pesky salt and pepper pacts! Well fuck you Need a name here! What a value @ $4.99 mmmmm I can count and break it down per fried fry Your name here would suck Didn’t cut your very own Nah bag bought How many people purchased whole store bought bags? I don’t have a frier? Cool in the City! Opinions and no onions vary you left out that part at least! Nien zwevebel Leave out tomato Chump crinkle store bought Not in stored well you paid for more! Patron! The container was $2.75 It had a top Hey USA French Fries Brought by DoorDash I should cook my own We know Phillies in all dailies In the mid west! No fucking Ranch as stated Nor napkins Wipe your self with bag Hey the restaurant over driver pick upper You had clean pants and shirt Star the swiping there Start 4.99 B S
#all here for#$4.99#-$2.75 for container#it had a lid#it’s a capsule#and French fries present#if I had a plug in frier#the ridiculous would be absurd#don’t add fried#yet alone crinkle#you know refrigerator trucks#the global warming#and they charge me#not made wavy in stores#the fries don’t come from restaurant#a picture of this 4.99#who am I Rodney dangerfields#wordsbymm#mmybsdrow#hey#pay attention#prunt#not a DoorDash fault#the restaurant packages#no napkins#wipe on pants#no confidence condiments#eat dry we all do#nor salt and paper or pepper#no place for for and spoon
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I started Interview with the Vampire
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#ok number ONE he should not be wearing those gloves just wash and dry your hands well and no lotion etc#SECOND if for some reason he must wear gloves like an unusual material or some danger to him#they should NOT be fabric gloves those can abrade the materials and leave behind microfibers#but ideally no gloves at all#SECOND the way he handles those books oh my god#be CAREFUL spines are fragile old paper is fragile do you even know if the covers are still properly attached???#hold them with both hands put them in a cradle or on the table as you read don’t flip through the pages like that old paper is brittle#and then he CARRIES THE DIARY INTO THE SUNLIGHT TO READ IT BETTEE#BETTER#THERES A REASON WHY WE KEEP THAT SHIT IN WINDOWLESS VAULTS#WELL A FEW REASONS BUT ONE IS THAT MUCH LIKE VAMPIRES BASICALLY ALL ARCHIVAL MATERIALS WILL BEGIN TO DETERIORATE IN SOME WAY WHEN#KEPT IN THE SUN#GET A LAMP#and LASTLY LASTLY LASTLY#the BIGGEST THING#HE’S EATING#HE’S EATING OVER THE MATERIALS HE’S GOT HIS FOOD NEXT TO THEM ON THE TABLE#WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO FETCH THE MOLD AND THE BUGS AND TJE#MICE YOURSELF DANIEL#SAVE SOME TIME JUST LET IT ALL LOOSE IN THERE#anyway I really love the rest of the show
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very annoying how i asked my brother to feed the cats if i wasn’t back in time for dinner and he filled their bowls up to the top with dry food that they already had ate and didn’t need more of despite me getting back two hours before WET food time
#and it’s not even the kind of dry food they eat it is for some reason the cheap stuff we feed to the ferals#all he had to do was nothing#too difficult a task
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ok but since i've been liveblogging the shrimpin situation anyway i have a few updates – weee went to the clinic again bc i was very sure that he hadn't taken a piss (i called them and they told me i should bring him back) so i had to give him the sedative again and then take him there. aaaand we did all of that just for them to tell me that he DID in fact take a piss. 😐😐😐 WHICH IS GOOD i'm just mad at myself that i dragged him there just for that...... but better to be safe than sorry ok........... and luckily he does not seem mad he's very touchy and friendly and sleepy rn and i love him sm
AAAANDDD just to confirm that he really doesn't have a peeing problem – he did go and take a piss now!!!! yayy!!!! guyss i'm making a post abt my cat taking a piss!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALSOOOOOO i think we should all pet him until he melts bc he did soooso good at the vet today:((((((((
#i DO have another problem though😐😐#he does not wanna eat the medicine#we did crumble it up idk if that's the right word but we made it into Dust alright#and then put it inside his wet food#but#he doesn't want it#and it's not like he isn't hungry either he ate his dry food like a maniac#SIGHHHHHHHHHH#my poor babyy#i really do love him sm#aaaand i really haven't done anything other than stare at him all day#it's so hot here too i feel very drained from this hustle#so i don't think i'm gonna be writing all that much rn#EVEN BIGGER SIGHHHHHH#love u all mwah mwah#mayor of loserville
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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This is not going well
#shut up alli#I have been sick all night and the worst part is that this is all psychological#I’m literally just that anxious about the interview tomorrow even though logically I understand it’s that big of a deal#*it’s not#so I’m just sitting here like dry heaving bc I’m not actually fucking sick my brain is just being a pussy#I can’t even eat. despite being in my head it’s a very real physical reaction#like GIRL we are going in whether you like or not grow UPPPPPP#I was doing okay before I started doing mock interviews in my head last night like WHY the fuck did I do that#made my brain start going a million miles an hour so I couldn’t sleep good#I can’t even take any cbd oil bc I could be drug tested soon AUUUUGHHH#cbd oil doesn’t even get you high btw it doesn’t have thc but I gotta be careful either way#well some of them DO but the one I have doesn’t.#at least it will be over soon
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hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹
here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰
#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL#because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan#i lost all my feelings and thoughts#i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head#i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot#in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year#and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level#but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️#from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far#that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more#after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me#and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all#but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha#i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day#i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/#even from my comfort people and activities#that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal#so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically#it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha#anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️#soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now#but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️
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taking my heart out and stomping into the ground dont you dare get another friend crush. dont fucking do it.
#ITS SO FRUSTRATING !!!!!#i think someone is cool and then they pay an attention to me and i am lost#i am drawing them pics and making them little gifts and thinking about all the fun things we can do together#i spend my free time thinking of reasons to talk to them#u might be like hmm this sounds like a romantic crush#but i can assure it is not#it CAN turn into one over many years#i kno bc one did and i suffer even more for it#its Very Obvious bc when its a non-platonic crush i will get suuuuuper possesive and jealous#but UGH friend crushes suck especially bc i dont have the bandwidth to rly pursue them AND#i always feel like i come at it too intensely so in order to escape rejection i run#its fine i am fine i can be Normal about things#its okay i will hide from this one like ive done all the others#its this person named Toad and they are so cool they do like climate activisim and they support local punk bands#its also reminding me of Dev. i am so sorry dev.#he was this super cool ass dude that i worked with for 4 years and he was So Neat and interesting to talk to#he knew soooooo much about cooking and he was really well read#and his humor was great. super dry and sarcastic i was always laughing lol#i wanted to be friends with him SO BAADDD#and he has no social media or even like. texting#so before i left i demanded his email address#and I emailed him One time and he replied and i ghosted him#bc here is another issue: i cant fucking communicate#how keep friends if u dont talk to them????#anyways the brain worms are eating good tonight
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What Enders do
Enders are interdimensional explorers/researchers :} We consider ourselves like astronauts, but instead of travelling across planets, we travel across dimensions.
We're very curious people, so travelling far like this is a good way to keep ourselves occupied. The End I remember may have been more environmentally diverse than in-game (the Better End mod is pretty close, feels a lot like home :} ) it still does not have all too much to explore outside of the cities, so most get bored quick and hop across dimensions.
It's in these dimensions that we usually find our favorite things - I found my poppy in the Overworld here, which became my name :} We cannot stay in these other dimensions for good, though, because most places do not have food we cann eat. Being unable to handle moisture is quite unfortunate ú﹏ù But we take plenty of notes on each thing we come across, to share with hte others once we return home :}
We also build things! Our builds are more... artistic, compared to the homes of humands and villagers. Maybe more like a dragon's hoard in the vague shape of half a house. We pile up any thing we find that we like around our little home area, so that we can have a favourite piece of each dimension with us. (Mine is mostly pumpkins. And dirt for me to throw at my worstie.)
#minecraft#enderman#minecraft enderman#enderian#about enders#that's all I can think of for now#i don't think i could make a whole post for this but#for food we mainly eat chorus fruits. because they are very dry#which is why they pop like popcorn when you cook them#we could also eat nuts and seeds and dehydrated foods#we could probably eat toast?#we also know many languages!! we pick up on new languages very fast#we can't speak them out loud though. ender voice isn't compatible with most languages.#considering we don't speak with our mouths like most languages do.#(unless it's to screech of course)
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Sometimes I question my life choices when I'm up until 4am when I'm in my mid 30s, but not tonight. Not tonight.
#listen... i had good intentions when i said i was going to bed at like 1am#I really did!#but the sheets werent quite dry from one round when they were in there with a thin blanket#and so you watch the rest of the shitty horror movie hubs is watching#about podunk downtrodden former dairy farmers whose cattle all died so they started kinapping and eating people#it was terrible. do not recommend.#distrubing for swveral reasons and backwoods cannibals is done to death at this point#but i digress#you go to get the sheets and hubs follows you down to the laundry room to carry it back up for you#points hubs#you dress the bed together and he lovingly puts on your silk pillowcase#he then says 'shame to get into fresh clean sheets all dirty#we should shower'#and like... I was already planning to anyway (and planning to shake a little ass to get some)#but he required no seductive tactics tonight ;)#and now he's passed the fuck out in a blissed-out little coma#.... small price to pay#because 👀🥵🫠#hubs#personal#not dylan
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“Now we’re going to get to know your partner for the semester. Share your names and find a commonality between you! The pair with the most commonalities can get some extra accolades, but not a prize!”
Catra glared at Glimmer, who happily returned it.
Glimmer, of course, can’t keep her mouth shut for five seconds though (which must be a victory of some kind) and offers, “Well we both hate each other. That’s one.”
That’s the worst part about her, Catra actually thinks she’s kinda funny and that fucking sucks. She worked too hard to earn a reputation as a slacker and class clown (despite being neither) and isn’t going to let this get in her way of being the funny guy. “We both know we’re right and the other is wrong.”
“That’s two!” Glimmer snickers, her glare already softening. “We agree that most people are kinda dumb and we should be in charge, but only if that doesn’t involve too much responsibility.”
“Of course, we’re not animals.” Catra means it as a turn of phrase, but Glimmer puts another finger up showing four. “Neither of us like to apologize, or say thank you.”
Six fingers as Glimmer reluctantly agrees. “We both know exactly what is funny and if our opinions happen to align that’s coincidence. We are both willing to throw down in a mcdonalds at two in the morning.”
“And taco bell.”
“And taco bell,” Glimmer agrees, now showing nine fingers.
Good, because Catra has to say that while getting into fist fights in parking lots is not actually their hobby, it basically is at this point. Might as well get extra points for it somewhere.
“We are both over twenty years old.”
“Mmm, we grew up in the same hometown. Same schools.” Glimmer switches to a piece of paper and puts 14 tallies down.
“...we both have dead parents?” Catra winces even as she offers it because Glimmer actually liked her dad whereas Catra doesn’t really remember her parents. But another tally gets added so she takes the W.
“We both dated the same girl, and it didn’t work out for basically the same reason.”
Catra snarls but allows the marks to be put down. “We’re gay.”
Glimmer has the world’s most evil smile on as she says, “We are SUPER gay.”
Their teacher waves a hand, calling out to catch everyone’s attention before starting around the room. How many commonalities in each group. Three. Five. Two. Ten. One (a vague like of pecans should not count but whatever).
“And what about you two?”
Glimmer smiles brightly, “Eighteen, and we will take our extra accolades please.”
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#at a work retreat we had to find group commonalities#and one guy we all knew would have the least in common with us#(he has a dry sense of humor about it and leans into it)#we asked him to list something and we could figure it out and he declined#someone asked if we all liked apples#he very unconvincingly said: oh yeah boy I do love apples I had 10 on my way here#we tried several other things until finally someone said: okay we all eat but that shouldn't count do we all like nuts#and he said: not all nuts#a mistake on his part to be sure#we went through the list until he begrudgingly said: I sometimes like pecans#we were the group with the fewest items besides a vague enjoyment of pecans#but to be fair we refused to do things like we're all adults living in this state who work at this college#so suck it groups who didn't do the hard work!#anyhow every time I see this I think of this vaguely glitra thing I wrote the first time I saw it#this is past glitra adjacent and is more like they're vaguely in the same 100 mile area#but I'll take the intended path of this is a modern AU where they start working together in class and are annoyed to realize they like#one another#standing by my HC that Catra only pretends to be a lazy joker as a defense response#it takes a lot more work to be such a little shit but someone has to do it#(glimmer in the distance: literally NO ONE has to)#SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT
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Temperate Lake Dashboard Simulator
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🐦⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow Going to try and eat this weird fish
♻️🐦⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow wilmdlife hopital
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🐸rana-bufo Follow No one can ever truly understand what BULL4rog's music means to me 😭 this song in particular argrgrgrgrgrg the way he puffs out his vocal sack asdfghjk
BULL4rog: listen here on spotify ♻️🐸rana-bufo Follow I think I huave chytrid
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🐟ilikeeatingminnowsFollow I just migrated here from finstagram please be nice
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🐠powerbottomfeeder Follow
I have HAD IT with this lake, it’s the third day in a row we’ve had nitrates above 8 ppm and uug the algae, my allergies I can’t do this
♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow
Lol we regularly get nitrates up to 20 ppm in my lake ♻️🦞crawdaddy Follow uhhh you shouldn't be bragging about that, it's really unsafe ♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow suck it you little oligotrophic bitch
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🐢snappturt Follow Dear Tumblr, am I the Basshole for the way I catch minnows? I was chatting with some of the guys I bask with and they said the way I catch minnows is problematic; What I do is I sit on the bottom of the lake, I hide myself in the mud and I open my mouth. My tongue looks a lot like a little worm so I wiggle it around- and because of that, minnows swim over and check it out. Once they get close enough, then I bite down and eat them. Some of my rockmates have told me that this is manipulative and toxic behavior- but they also eat minnows...I don't know guys...
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🦆tree hole-nester-acorn-eater Follow
is it just me, or is this super homoerotic???
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🐟bigpikexxl Follow liveblogging diving down to the bottom
♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow dark
♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow big log
♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow rock
♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow kinda cold
♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow oh hi @deepwatersculpin!!!
♻️🐠deepwatersculpin Follow oh hey @bigpikexxl!!!
never thought i'd seen one of my mutuals irl!!! I didn't even know we lived in the same lake!!!
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🐠Shadlad Follow I'm not sorry, and I'm not afraid to say it, if you're an introduced species, go dry yourself out. You're not welcome to eat up all of our resources and live in my ancestral longs and rock crags. These things are for us to relate to and not for you to squander.
♻️🦞crevice-steve Follow
Can't believe this type of fishcourse is still popular on this site, introduced species didn't choose to be introduced and have as much of a right to live as anyone else. Bigotry against introduced species is still bigotry and that's a hill I will dry on. ♻️🐠Shadlad Follow Go ahead, dry yourself out then ;) ♻️🪷nootnootnewt Follow Hey man, I hate invasive species as much as anyone else but please stop telling people to beach themselves for political reasons- yeah that includes inavsives too ♻️🦐typical_scud Follow Did you legit just use the word Invas*ve to describe introduced species? ♻️🦢flatfootswimmer Follow anyone in this thread eat pondweed?
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♻️🐟largemouthbASS Follow A colab with my mutual @2xcrested_cormorant after they got released from the wildlife hospital. They haven't been on much since the Fish and Wildlife Service released them in the wrong lake and it took them a while to get back to their colony. We hope this guide will help you avoid accidentally eating/engaging with bait!
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#fishblr#fishposting#fake post#dashboard simulator#cw thalassophobia#thalassophobia#ecology#freshwater ecology#wood duck#walleye
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the worst part of living with my parents is the complete inability to exist in any room other than my own
#i have to schedule in my time to use the kitchen and even then people will get in my way#i have to time waking up perfectly so i can get a chance to use the bathroom#if i want to use the living room i have to request it and even then people will still be in there making noise when that would never be#ok for me to do#i don’t get to eat downstairs i have to eat in my bedroom#and if i take up any space outside of my room it very quickly becomes a problem#i know my parents love me i know that we have a small house but sometimes it feels like im just an inconvenience to everyone here#told my sister one of the things i’m most excited about in our new flat is being able to leave my book on the coffee table#if i leave anything downstairs it immediately gets put outside my bedroom door for me to put away#my mum used to try and make me keep my water bottle and plates in my room#as if we don’t have an entire kitchen to keep those things in#if i leave something on the radiator to dry it gets put outside my room the second it’s dry#but my parents will leave things on the radiator for days and just expect me to work around that#literally all of my winter coats and jackets are in my room while they take up all of the coat hooks in the hallway#anyway everything is fine i’m just tired and grumpy#my period is going to start any day now
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Had a dentist appointment today and she was super sweet. Anyway if you have a ED of any kind (not just bulimia) I highly recommend investing in some very strong fluoride rinse and occasionally baking soda.
Toothpaste and Mouthwash won’t ruin your fast
#my teeth are actually okay#I disclosed my ed even tho I don’t purge much#post treatment my teeth were so bad bc of all the supplement and limited bathroom time#she’s like I never would’ve suspected you purge bc my bulimic patients often have extreme enamel erosion#so use baking soda rinses if you want to protect your teeth#the biggest issues was actually from dry mouth and probably eating too many pickles#and some cracks from ice#act mouthwash saved my teeth#and a cheap electric toothbrush#ed of any kind do effect teeth #ana and bed damage teeth too#baking soda rinse too bc we often have more acid in our mouth
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In the Tritter Arc, Cuddy's approach to Wilson shows how ruthless she can be in terms of keeping House in her purse—instructing Wilson outright to keep lying to the police about a crime House committed, thus grandly fucking Wilson's entire life over, just to protect House.
In general, I'm aggravated at how all of the characters treat Wilson during the Tritter arc. He has no vehicle, no money, and then he's cornered into closing his practice. He lives in a hotel, so it's safe to say he doesn't have a lot of food stocked up in the fridge or anywhere available to cook for himself. Generally, long-term hotel stays are paid weekly, so whatever petty cash he does have must be saved to keep from becoming outright homeless. He's hungry, sitting out in the cold scrounging for coins for the bus fare. The show emphasizes on screen how House passes him by... But the other characters' treatment of him is pretty glossed over.
And, when he does break:
No concern for Wilson's safety or access to help at all—only concerned for keeping House on her payroll.
Which, when contradicted with how Wilson treats Cuddy two seasons later, how he consistently shows up for her through adopting Rachel even though he genuinely has no idea how to handle her situation... is incredibly sad.
Cuddy is just as insane as the rest of them. Her hospital comes first and she will keep the tiger chasing the ribeye on a string. If the ribeye on a string is another employee, another friend, someone she cares about sitting hungry in the cold... That's a sacrifice that must be made. To keep House. To keep the hospital. To keep her title.
Anyways. Y'all keep forgetting that Cuddy hired and repeatedly refused to fire malpractice Georg entirely on purpose. In order to keep her hospital on the map. In order to secure better funding and more research opportunities. She lies under oath, she threatens employees, (not just House!) she fucking. Schemes. She's nuts! She sees a complete disaster of a guy who cannot be trusted to care for himself much less vulnerable patients, who absolutely no one else will hire, and she goes. Yeah I think I can keep him under control. I think I can harness that for my benefit. And she mostly succeeds!!! House, who's never met an authority figure he didn't hate. She keeps him complacent with regular doses of petty arguments so he thinks he's fighting the man, but literally he is exactly where she wants him most of the time. Yeah House might be a feral animal, but that makes Cuddy the kind of person who keeps wild animals as pets. She's like oh yeah this is my pet tiger. When he's feeling grumpy I distract him with raw steak that I throw across the room. He thinks it's a game. Sometimes he tries to bite me lol.
#this is not intended to be critical of cuddy as a character!!! i love her dynamic with wilson and the team thru this arc#shes insane! theyre all crazy! the lengths theyre willing to go to!#its such an interesting dynamic study between all of them#but cuddys bottom line always has been and always will be protecting the hospitals biggest asset no matter the cost#in s1 house was threatened because the assets opposing him were equivalent to what he offered#she mourned when she chose him bc damn that amount of money was hard to give up but he was still more valuable wrt the hospital reputation#in s3 there is no question#wilson is an oncologist houses reputation makes her millions#oncology is a money pit specialty the drugs are expensive and for uninsured patients the hospital eats the cost#with a bleeding heart as dept head its safe to say the onc dept consistently maxes out its budget#she can't do anything to help wilson without risking tritter seeing and coming down on house or other depts harder#hanging him out to dry is the only option#but damn is she ruthless when she does it#we love lisa cuddy in this house
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Heated Waters
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fbebfff8a5e4fb1e2d1363116a964b4a/2985292c81d53374-b8/s540x810/b01a2f853ba93fb6bf2ca299565b06f8df51d097.jpg)
synopsis: being married is hard, being married without seeing each other is even harder.
⚝ content: Hiromi Higuruma x F! Reader, nsfw, bathtub sex, fingering, Hiromi neglects his wife, but boy does he make up for it
⚝ wc: 1.9k
“Yeah we do it pretty much every day.”
Satoru said, taking a leisurely sip of his water. His pale face alight with mischief, a shit-eating grin across his lips. His three coworkers stared at him in (jealousy) disbelief.
Suguru was the first to break the silence, wanting to save face “Everyday is a bit much, isn’t it, Satoru?”
Satoru chuckled, his blue eyes glinting with amusement as he watched his friend squirm. "What about you guys? How often do our married friends get it in?" His gaze flickered to Nanami, who cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, his eyes fixed on the steam rising from his coffee cup.
“Twice a week, I suppose…”
Satoru's smile widened, clearly entertained by the responses he was drawing out. He then turned his attention to the oldest among them, Hiromi Higuruma, who was carefully straightening his tie, a subtle attempt to avoid eye contact.
“What about you, Higuruma?”
“Your wife, (Y/N) is a little younger than you, right? C’mon Higuruma-San…She a total freak?” Satoru teased.
Hiromi's jaw tightened, a flicker of irritation crossing his features as his grip on his coffee cup tightened. He took a slow, measured breath, his voice strained but controlled when he finally spoke.
“Please don’t talk about my wife like that.”
But Satoru, ever the instigator, didn’t back down. “It’s just us guys riiggght? And I can’t lie Higuruma, you’re one lucky guy. (Y/N) is a catch.”
Nanami nodded in agreement, as did Suguru, though both seemed to sense the discomfort growing in Hiromi. The older man could only sigh, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the conversation.
It was true—you were everything he could have ever wanted in a partner. Beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted—his perfect match. If heaven existed, Hiromi was certain you’d be the only one worthy of it.
But long nights in the office, and early mornings preparing for court would take a toll on any relationship. The truth was… Hiromi hadn’t touched you in over a month. By the time he came home—you were fast asleep, and weekends were spent running the mountain of errands you couldn’t get to during the week. You loved each other of course, but it was hard. A month without feeling the warmth of your husband's hands all over your skin was starting to weigh heavily on both of you.
“You don’t have to answer Higuruma-san..” Nanami chimed in, sensing his elder colleague’s discomfort.
“Over a month.” Hiromi exhaled, the truth slipping out before he could stop it.
The room fell silent, the weight of his words sinking in.
“WHAT?” Gojo audibly gasps. “Your wife looks like THAT and you haven’t f—”
Suguru swiftly cut him off with a well-placed elbow to the chest. “Satoru… leave Higuruma alone.” The long-haired male warns. “Still, that is surprising.”
“I know I know..” Higuruma pinches his bridge. He wanted nothing more than to have his wife under him… on top of him. But the endless stream of work kept him trapped in a cycle of exhaustion. “I’ve been so busy I can’t even remember the last time I actually spoke to her properly.”
Suguru offered an apologetic smile. “Sounds like you need a break.”
“Sounds like you need some puss—” Nanami quickly elbowed Satoru in the chest before he could finish his sentence.
Hiromi shook his head, letting out a dry chuckle as he ran a hand through his dark locks, clearly frustrated with himself. “I appreciate your concern, guys, but I don’t see how I can take a break right now. I have so much work to do, and I’m the only one who knows how to handle all of it.”
“Higuruma-San. Satoru will take care of the paperwork for you.” Nanami suggested with a deadpan expression.
“HUH?” Satoru blurted out, clearly caught off guard by the sudden assignment.
“Yeah,” Nanami continued, ignoring Satoru’s protest. “It’s not like he actually does any work around here anyway.”
Suguru smirked, nodding in agreement. “That’s true. You might as well make yourself useful, Satoru.”
Before Hiromi could protest, the trio moved in unison—Suguru grabbing Hiromi’s briefcase, Nanami steering him toward the door, and Satoru sighing dramatically as he resigned himself to the task.
“Are… are you boys sure about this? I don’t want to burden you–”
“Nonsense! Go home and take care of your wife!”
Hiromi placed his briefcase by the door, his tie feeling suddenly too tight around his neck. He loosened it with a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he glanced around. The familiar scent of home greeted him. It was comforting yet bittersweet, a reminder of all the moments he had missed. The living room was tidy, the soft hum of the dishwasher running in the kitchen. You had clearly been busy, taking care of the house as you always did, even when he wasn’t around.
“Honey?” Hiromi calls out to you, his voice echoing slightly in the stillness.
Frowning, he shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair before making his way down the hall. As he approached the bathroom, he noticed a faint light seeping out from under the door, accompanied by the sound of water gently lapping against the tub.
He hesitated for a moment, then slowly opened the door.
The sight that greeted him made his breath catch in his throat. There you were, reclining in the bathtub, your eyes closed, head resting on the edge as steam rose around you. The soft glow of candles illuminated the room, casting a warm, serene light over your features.
You looked so peaceful, so beautiful—that it almost hurt to look at you. The tension in his shoulders eased slightly as he took in the sight, but the guilt and longing only deepened. How long had it been since he’d taken the time to appreciate you like this? Since he’d been able to just… be with you?
You opened your eyes, gaze meeting your husband as he leaned against the door frame.
“Hiromi?” you murmured, your voice soft, almost questioning, as if unsure whether he was really there or just a figment of your imagination.
“Hey Honey…” his voice equally soft, as he took a tentative step closer. The warmth of the room seemed to wrap around him, melting away some of the day’s stress.
“You’re home early.” You muse, looking at him as you rested your arms on the tub. He doesn’t respond, just walks towards you with purposeful steps.
Hiromi stares down at you with half-lidded eyes.“The guys decided I need a break.” He paused, his breath hitching slightly as he continued, “Can I join you?” A playful smirk tugged at the corner of your lips.
“Only if you take off your clothes this time.”
A dry chuckle escaped his lips as he unbuttons his dress shirt, letting each article of clothing fall to the tile floor. As he finally sheds his boxers before settling behind you. You exhaled softly, the tension you’d been holding onto for weeks dissipating as you sank into your husband’s embrace.
Hiromi didn’t waste a moment, his lips finding the sensitive skin of your neck, placing lazy, lingering kisses along the curve where your shoulder met your throat. His breath was warm against your skin, his kisses slow and unhurried, as if savoring every second, every inch of you.
His hands weren’t idle either, tracing gentle patterns along your stomach, moving upwards to cup your breasts with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. He nipped lightly at your earlobe, his voice a husky murmur, “I’ve missed you… more than you know.”
“Missed you too ‘Romi..” Your voice trembling as the almost foreign heat began to pool in your core.
Deft fingers teased your nipples, rolling and pinching—eliciting a soft moan from your lips as your body arched into his touch. Your hand reached back, tangling in his dark locks, pulling him closer as his lips traveled down to your shoulder, his other hand snaking under the water to your aching cunt.
“ahhhh… s-shitt..” You cry out as Hiromi’s fingers slowly circle your swollen bud. His touch light, teasing.
“Thirty-two days… I’m so sorry m’love.” He mumbles into your shoulder as he slips a slender digit into your entrance. Your walls flutter immediately around the intrusion, as he gently pumped into you.
He adds another finger, curling up to the spot he had neglected all those weeks. He extended his thumb to rub your clit. You arch your back against him, feeling his cock twitch against your ass.
“Hiro…” you moan, reaching behind for him, but he bites down lightly on your shoulder.
“Not yet, pretty girl, want you t’cum first okay?”
He whispers as he feels your gummy walls clench around him.
He speeds up his ministrations, digits stuffing your cunt as your pussy throbs and squelches. Your whimpers echo around the tiled walls, water lapping around your bodies.
You feel the pressure building as each thrust of his long fingers brush against your g-spot.
“g-gonna cum!”
“Cum f’me sweetheart please—god… need it so bad.” Hiromi mumbles as he pumps even faster.
“a-ahh!” you cry as you reach your high, walls clenching as you cum on your husband’s hand. He removes his fingers from you, moving to gently circle your clit as you come down from your orgasm.
You both stay there for a moment, your heavy breathing the only sound occupying the space, mingling with the gentle slosh of water against the porcelain tub. Hiromi’s arms wrapped securely around your waist, pulling you closer.
Slowly, he lifted you, the warm water swirling around you both as he maneuvered you to face him, settling you on his lap. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, your knees pressing against the cool sides of the tub.
You straddled Hiromi, your bodies now fully aligned, chest to chest. Your husband's dark, half-lidded eyes bore into yours, his expression a mixture of raw need and unspoken tenderness. He let his hands rest on your waist for a moment, thumbs tracing gentle circles against your damp skin as he took in the sight of you.
“I don’t know how I’ve stayed away from you for so long…” his voice breaking slightly as if the admission pained him.
Your breath hitched as you shifted slightly in his lap, feeling the tension between you intensify. Hiromi’s hands slid up your sides, his touch deliberate and slow, leaving a trail of heat in their wake as his lips finally found yours. The kiss was deep, full of hunger that had been simmering between you both for far too long.
His grip on your waist tightened as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a dance that left you dizzy with need.
Breaking the kiss, Hiromi leaned his forehead against yours, his breath coming in shallow gasps.
“I won’t make that mistake again.”
Without a word, he rose from the tub, lifting you effortlessly into his arms. Water cascaded down your bodies, pooling at your feet as he carried you toward the bedroom, his lips trailing wet kisses down the side of your neck.
He laid you gently onto the bed, your back sinking into the soft silken sheets, but Hiromi didn’t waste any time. His gaze darkening as he climbed over you, his body hovering just above yours, his eyes drinking you in like a man starved.
“I’m going to make up for every second I’ve missed.”
#kbwrites#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#higuruma hiromi#higuruma x reader#higuruma smut#jjk smut#jjk higuruma#hiromi x reader#hiromi x y/n
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