#dunno if that actually means anything but like maybe?????
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Hi there!
I saw that you are/were friends with the creators of Stellar Remnants and as someone who knows one of them irl and has heard their non-stop yapping about your stuff I took it upon myself to ask what that little rat is too scared to ask!
What would the SEA Familyās reaction be to the relationships developed within Stellar Remnants?
Also, to give some relationship breakdowns that I actually do surprisingly have permission to share from CoastxlWaterās themself:
You donāt see much of the celestials in the main fic, but from my friendās rambles about the what-ifs and oneshots series the Remnant Family do infact think about the celestials a good bit to where there are technically relationships
Eclipse hates moon basically, but a good chunk of that hate stems from fear and the knowledge of knowing Moon wonāt give up. Since as we know, Eclipse was infact once Moon and so he knows how the bot would act.
Solar Flare would infact do the same thing it did to KC to Moon if it ever gets its claws on him, you donāt mess with Flare and especially not its father.
Bloodmoon wants to basically harass everyone in the celestial family. But due to Eclipseās creative threats and tracker planted in them they havenāt tried anything yet, or atleast that is what Coastxl has told me about the upcoming prompts.
No one in the Remnants family hate Sun so to say, but no one exactly likes him. Eclipse and Bloodmoon with their distrust of the sunny animatronic and Solar Flare carries its own opinions on Sun.
Eclipse still cares about Lunar, and Bloodmoon does as well but neither would say they like Lunar, because they donāt. Surprisingly itās Flare to have the major problem here, because from what Coastxl has told me Flare doesnāt appreciate the kids actions. Flare apparently has strong opinions on why Lunar was wrong to turn on Eclipse, especially because Moonās own treatment of Sun. So Flare is the one who mainly dislikes Lunar.
Surprisingly no one in the family have strong opinions on Solar, and apparently one line Coastxl does have planned for a future chapter is, āSolar? I donāt care for Moonās little lap dog, I mean yeah he helps Moon and all but they are family who usually treat each other right so itās understandable, though Solar is a pushover. People pleaser, even.ā - Eclipse
Same as Solar no one has strong opinions on Earth, they all kind of just ignore the cheerful āsisterā and only plan for Moon, Sun, Solar, and Lunar ever finding where they are. Or really Eclipse is the only one planning and worrying, Bloodmoon and Flare are just trying to get Eclipse to stop worrying.
One thing they all have in common though is a hatred for Monty, and yes that does include Bloodmoon. No one really likes Monty.
I think their relationships with KC are shown well enough in the making fic, Coastxl said they might try developing the hatred and fear more through more night terrors and maybe even a few complete group hallucinations, so they do have a deep fear of KC is all Iām saying.
And before you ask, āhow do u know u have permission to say this if they donāt know about you having all of their socials and links to the stuff they like?ā Well, they said and I quote: āhm? Oh yeah you can spoil it if you want itās not like itās some huge surprise or anything- oh your asking this for possible future blackmail huh? Well fuck you I could give less of a fuck about you spoiling this, HAHā
I dunno if we're on friend levels yet, though tbf I don't really do any of these online friendship things often thanks to crippling anxiety š
Also they didn't shut up about my stuff? :0 Somehow I'm still surprised people seem to like my stuff, haha
Also, if anyone tries murdering me in my sleep because of this post, I'm throwing you under the bus <3 /silly
Weeeeeeeell, SEA and SR are pretty different relationshipwise, which would be a surprise to the SEA family.
Solar Flare and Eclipse wouldn't be able to imagine a father-son relationship between themselves, though Solar Flare would understand Flare's attachement to Eclipse, because it's also pretty attached to its own. Even if differently.
Killcode would be greatly saddened there's such a shitty version of himself, and he'd be torn between trying to fix their opinion of him and staying away, if only because he knows more now about trauma and those sorts of things. He too wouldn't want to see the people who caged him and his family in, so he can understand why the Remnants family would want to stay away. Doesn't mean he wouldn't be very tempted to change their opinion tho
Bloodmoon would find how Flare is so much younger an amusing difference they'd use to tease their own brothers. It's too good an opportunity to waste. They just have to do it.
Lunar would be freaked by the dislike of that Solar Flare, used to his brother being reliant, protective, quietly loving and most importantly, patient and always there. He wouldn't know what to do with a version of them that's more hostile with him.
Moon would once again be surprised while also not about just how much he sucks. He wouldn't blame the family though, because he knows he's awful. He would feel more comfortable staying away.
Sun would take one look at it and shrug. He can't do anything, it's none of his business, if those people want something they'll approach each other and work out their issues. He's more than aware family can be complicated and there can be lots of resentment and hostility and dislike, especially with everything that's going on. He also wouldn't be offended by someone looking down on him, because he's aware at first glance he really does appear pathetic.
Over all, the SEA family is surprised, sad and disappointed by the state of the Stellar Remnants dimension, but not like they can do much about it. They have to decide to change their relationships if they want to be something different. Although they'd prefer if these people didn't try murdering each other
(Also, SEA Eclipse thinks the four arms are cool and wishes he was built like that too. Everyone else is just glad the sleep-deprieved fuck doesn't have another pair of hands to overwork himself with)
#OurEssays#Moongleam answers#Scientist Eclipse's Adventures#someone else's AU#Stellar Remnants AU#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#tsams#sams#tsams eclipse#sams eclipse#tsams killcode#sams killcode#tsams bloodmoon#sams bloodmoon#tsams solar flare#sams solar flare#tsams lunar#sams lunar#tsams sun#sams sun#tsams moon#sams moon#tsams solar#sams solar#tsams earth#sams earth#tlaes earth#laes earth#hope this is adequate enough
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I'd like to think that if I was in the PJO universe, I'd be friends with Luke, Jason, and Leo.
But if I am being real with myself. I'd probably never talk to them ever, get super intimidated, and probably never make actual friends with any of the main characters. Except for like.. Silena.. I think I'd be friends with her. She just seems like the most friendly out of all the characters.
Think about it. Percy when he first went to camp he was distraugt over losing Sally and all that jazz. Then when he comes back he's like super popular and then he gets betrayed by Luke. WHERE IN THAT TIME FRAME AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH HIM? I'D FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING. Don't even get me started on the other books. Then when we skip to HOO, he's literally missing and has no memories. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH HIM?? THEN THERE'S ANOTHER WORLD ENDING QUEST.
Next, let's head to Luke. 1. He's already pretty broody, and I don't know if I'd have the social skills to approach someone like that. There IS a chance I could bond with him over the whole parents thing but ehh? It truly seems like the only true friends he had were Annabeth and Thalia. So making friends with him seems super hard.
Then Jason. My favourite character. Not ONLY was he treated like a prince in waiting at Camp Jupiter. He was probably really cold and stiff and I don't do well with people who don't seem to like me. Or even worse, I over analyze Jason's demeanor and feel guilty for wanting to talk to him and be friends with him because he already has so much on his plate! Then of course the whole prophecy happens and then he goes to CHB and then he like.. BARELY TALKS TO ANYONE!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THESE PEOPLE??? If i was a Roman, maybe I'd be an acquaintance at best, but that literally means nothing because duh, everybody knew him. Like.. i feel like I'd try too hard and make him think that I only wanna be friends with him because of his status. When I just suck at communication!!!
Leo.. Leo might be someone I could be friends with. But AGAIN. He'd probably intimidate me and stuff.
Annabeth to me in the books, always came off as really.. cold?? I dunno how to describe it, but similar to Luke, she came off as not being the most friendly person. And as a person who SUCKS at making friends, I'd probably overthink that she's annoyed with me then start avoiding her.
Frank and Hazel? Okay.. maybe I'd be friends with them. I feel like I'd totally vibe with them. They seem very.. not intimidating and understanding??
Then Piper.. I also don't know! I think what would happen if I was in the books would be that I'm trying to become friends with Jason, Leo, and Piper. And then when Jason is very stoic and cold, I'd stop talking to him. But Piper could very well get possessive and not want to talk to me??
Then there's Thalia. We barely see anything of her in camp. So being friends with her would probably only happen if you were a hunter. Meaning there is no chance I'd even get close to her at all. And also, I feel like I'd get intimidated by her.
Reyna. She's just like Jason. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS SO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES??? LIKE.. I'D FEEL BAAAD!! Also, I don't know if she'd like me.
In summary. As much as I LOVE these characters, I feel like the only one's I'd be friends with in real life would be Leo (maybe), Silena, Hazel, and Frank.
I really wanna make a 2nd post going more in depth, but i know no one will care so what's the point yk?
#pjo fandom#percy jackson fandom#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#rrverse#camp half blood#jason grace#leo valdez#percy jackson#annabeth chase#luke castellan#hazel levesque#frank zhang#reyna avila ramirez arellano#reyna ramirez arellano#thalia grace#piper mclean#friends#if i was in a book#i have no social skills#camp jupiter
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Tho he DID say that icimi was his favorite album tho so mayhaps at least one or two
i don't think he's going to cover any song off of icimi tbh, i think he's going to stick mainly to self-ish and the normal album. maybe a song off EIAL if we're lucky
#at least since the last QnA#i could also see main character since it kinda has similar vibes to Art lyrics wise#or tone at least#also said that Becoming the Lastnames was his favorite at the time#tho course he can do whatever he feels like/fits was songs he can do so its honestly whatever rlly#[hope I don't come off as rude btw! just my thoughts on what he'd do from what he's said before]#also i want some of will wood & the tapeworms but i don't think he would & hed just stick to will wood specifically sadly#i pray tho cos those songs are bangers#edit: oh also he made a vampire reference in minor key joke in the description of Wilhelmina Waltz#dunno if that actually means anything but like maybe?????#if these tags are outta order blame tumblr it sucks & wont let me move things properly
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1826304d24968a197db8bfc1f51cfa0a/d5d2a1d207329800-ac/s540x810/cf6abc58b663bd6ab100009ae3bfffabdbf0b122.jpg)
#michael kaiser#blue lock#bllk kaiser#fanart#dark souls inspired#bllk ness#lmao my friend who hasnt read the manga was like omg isnt this kinda mean to ness and im like NO he would THANK ME#that man would think it is an honor to serve kaiser ok lmaooo no snakes were harmed in the making of this <3#bruh i went OFF on the borders but lowkey burned myself out too š¤Ŗš¤Ŗ consistent lighting? dunno her#the mitre stays ON. that's built in rattails right there. once you see it you cant go back xD#do i actually know anything about gwyndolin? my fanart is unfortunately vibes only and im not liable to any characterization errors lmao#kaiser cant really kick with the snake legs but maybe he can lob soccer balls or fireballs at ppl lolol#me holding kaiser tightly: you. youre my new fav doll now#its something about the eyeliners + the only way to fix him is to make him worse and humble him more vibes#hamster product
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my take on the localised names thing is that eustace winner is actually a better name, it clearly shows his obsession with being the best while also showing hes a loser, and the name that should be getting hate but doesnt because its established since the first game is miles edgeworth. its completely random and the only part they managed to keep was 'edge' as in swords have edges which is a bit pathetic when you think about it
#like to be fair i dont really know how relevent the kanji are meant to be for the character#phoenix has then kanji for walk and hall in his name#though thats cause its the sound thats the pun#lile overall i dont get the nuances of almost any#and i do think generally this is something the translation did well in like phoenix wright is a really good choice#but i really dont get it with edgeworth other than being the established name of the character it doesnt really even suit him?#wonder if the first name is literally just to keep the mi like what else does it do#i suppose edgeworth sounds like a bit posh but not really like the meaning of the kanji at all#though yeah maybe thats cause its not the impression that name would make? really dont know but id think å¾” wouldnt be too complicated#i dunno i also personally think that eustace winner actually sounds good as a name#and that miles edgeworth sounds slightly stupid#i dont hate it or anything but i still reckon thats probably controversial#ace attorney
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what do we think of these as new icons...?
and then i could go with this as a HIGHLIGHT COLOUR. or maybe perhaps THIS. ( her costume without the icon colouring ). probably something in the middle.
#dunno what size i'll make them#maybe 100 x 100 bc you can see more detail#as much as i like 75 x 75 it's pretty difficult to actually see anything#but also.... Just Looks Nice#i don't have photoshop anymore#and so i gotta get used to photopea#which means all my icons might change...#rip i have so many made already š#at least i can finally use a highlight colour if i want woohoo#( o o c . )
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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i am. tired. u may have noticed that i am... "American" n what not.
I dont have the mental stability to keep up w all the... everything. but news of so and so trying to take citizenship from ppl born here whose parents came here Illegally (unconstitutional, not feasible, most likely just a scare tactic) made its way to me. and 2 things.
1) "we're gonna stop illegal immigration by retroactively making more people into illegal immigrants" ...very cool guys. very smart.
2) im like. 2nd gen i think? my mom was born here but her bio dad was not lol. hope my bio gramps doing ok wherever he is. never met the guy and tbh he sounds like a dick from what lil i know of him, but no one deserves. yknow. the. well i dont think theyre called camps but i cant remember the word. detention center or smth? im tired lol
#ramble tag#every day i get closer and closer to 'what if we snuck into mexico. switch it up reverse it.'#joking ofc#dont think thatd actually go well for us#everything is so surreal. like im at the point where the idea of getting deported makes me laugh more than anything#im too exhausted to be upset anymore#every since his campaign fuckin started man. i was in middle school.#i was in middle school and terrified of the line i felt i had to walk between white and not white enough#i might vent about race stuff if i cant stop thinking about it. bc god i dont wanna just soak in it. need it out of my head#im white im white im white!! but not as white as my classmates. sitting at lunch. our hands next to each other. stark.#highschool with immigrants and mexicans talked about like animals. this hurts me. but im told to shut up.#bc im not mexican enough to be allowed to do anything#i live in one of those 'you get one maybe two black students in a year' kinda towns if that explains anything#i had a kid who kept calling me the n word. he dated one of my friends. she didnt leave him until he cheated on her.#now that i think about it she hadnt talked to me in forever when she went to me after her breakup#jeez. highschool sucked ass.#ignore me im just... ugh. i have this identity crisis every once in a while dw#i think i even made a post about it before lol#smth about cultural disconnect and how that was a way that dicks romani backstory was smth i could connect to#something revealed to you that affects you but you exist in this limbo of if you can really claim it or not#like the world needs more stories that touch on race etc etc but i just mean that dicks story can fall into this sorta#white passing identity crisis thing. i find it comforting#dunno. my brain is soup
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#tranquill#if the last one wasn't forgettableā this one sure is#i Actually do not have anything to say here. it's a reasonable evolution from pidove but it's also#even more forgettable than pidove. 'cause pidove is boring but you at least see it on early routes#if you pick up a pidove i doubt you keep it for long enough to ever see it even become this thing#so it's likeā¦ i forget it exists. and i'm gonna forget it exists again after this. if someone asks me āwhat evolves from pidoveā i'm gonna#say. i dunno. unfezant? maybe?#holy shit wait this is the mid evo. unfezant literally evolves from tranquill. so it's even harder to remember because of that#i remember unfezant better than this. whā iā i'm gonna stop before i say something else mean about tranquill
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itās actually surprising to me how many people (including actual Christians) think lilith was made up for Hazbin. I donāt know why, I just thought that her being a part of religious mythology was common knowledge.
#Like sheās neon genesis evengelion#Sheās the Diablo games#She has a fanfic poem from centuries ago dedicated to shipping her with lucifer#Am I shaming people for not knowing mythology?#Maybe I dunno#Itās playful shaming though#Like#itās not to be mean or anything#Iām just genuinely surprised how many people didnāt know lilith was a thing before the show came out#Itās kind of fascinating to be honest#I might do a poll later actually#hazbin hotel#lillith morningstar
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% ŃŠµŠŗŃŠµŃŠ½ŃŠ¹ Š“Š½ŠµŠ²Š½ŠøŠŗ Š»ŠµŠ²Ń ŠŠ Š§ŠŠ¢ŠŠ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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I'm really glad elyss came several years before melliwyk, because mel's alignment shift from chaotic neutral to chaotic good sometimes feels a little embarrassing in an 'I can't keep my own feelings to myself for the sake of committing to the bit' sort of way, but the counterpoint to that is that elyss, steadfastly true neutral, just simply Does Not Care about anyone other than her own loved ones or anything outside her own immediate interest no matter how much I sometimes wish she would
#she has a soft spot for children but that's the only real exception. other people's problems are none of her business!#she's not gonna look for your kidnapped husband or whatever unless the paladin wants to (he wants to. this is my loophole as a player lol)#whereas *I* wanna befriend and adopt every NPC and do quests and help people out of genuine desire to help#melliwyk is still more self-interested than not but at the end of the day she fundamentally really is a good person#she just lost track of it for awhile. being around people again has reminded her that she cares about people actually#she IS bothered by needless suffering. she IS smart enough to recognize when smart people handwave 'necessary sacrifices' to be cruel#she DOES oppose evil on principle rather than just because of how it directly affects her or her friends and family--#not just passively and in general but actively enough to want to do something about it herself#and I dunno it's nice. it's nice that it feels like that's not just me muddying the waters with my desires as a player--#but that it's just something *neither* of us realized when I started playing her but that was nonetheless always true#and honestly I also think it's nice that elyss is Like That but that I don't think there's anything wrong with her for it#she's not evil! she's not hurting anyone who didn't deserve it! she's literally just trying to mind her own business#she's not going to needlessly or carelessly hurt people just for her own gain like early campaign melliwyk would have#she's true neutral like a wild animal is true neutral and That's Fine#the ONE downside I suppose with mel is that 'NICE does not mean GOOD' is compelling to me#especially when your stereotypical chaotic neutral dnd character is an edgelord asshole#but ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ maybe if her field of study had more opportunities for human experimentation lmao#melliwyk the experimental necromancer or behaviorist or summoner has a different relationship with ethics I have no doubt#melliwyk has READ studies with Dubious Ethics and gone 'I mean they couldn't have GOTTEN results like this otherwise'#really the biggest difference between Good Melliwyk and Neutral Melliwyk is opportunity for temptation. which is also compelling#my OCs#melliwyk#elyss
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ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening
see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!
that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).
I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.
this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk
#i will note that in this specific instance most of my party Is actually super down with murder like vocally#so its less weird but it Is weird that the mc does. Not Seem The Type.#i mean not to say he should have tried to spare everybody i think its kinda neat that he doesnt but#if the fact that he doesnt was brought up at all thatd be interesting. have him acknowledge he killed a dude#but no hes just kind of standing there like (ok what next) no leaning one way or another#these would all be interesting reactions if they were actually Brought Up in dialogue but no its just. oversight#anyway this is about sand but ive also felt this about live a live and even bits of twewy#like specifically in lal the fact that the edo chapter Exists and killing people is just Battling Them made me look at Every Other Chapter#thru a lens of (okay am. am i killing these dudes.) and the answer is I DUNNO#like the guy exploded into a cloud of mist theres no way hes Not dead but its STRANGE#this felt most noticeable in the imperial china and present day chapters because they had mcs who decidedly did not feel down with murder#specifically present day because masaru is fighting this guy for the crime of killing a guys. and woa. he killed a guys. with his Hands#i think theres only a handful of deaths in lal that actually mean anything and you can tell which they are because they dont explode#like in You Know The Part with The Character I Cant Say that guys i think the only time defeating an enemy Leaves A Corpse#ok actually thats a lie the Other Guy I Cant Say in The Chapter Before That also died like that and that was equally important#s also worth mentioning that said first guy can ? also die without leaving a corpse? just turn to ash??#depending on where u go with him. which is weird right. thats weird right.#maybe that just means (hey youre not supposed to feel bad about him dying this tiiiime)#anyway its 5 am ill post this in the morning#veespeaks
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual āwhyā that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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:-P
#everyday is a new bizarre feeling. i dont even kno how to call this one#like i didnt feel thst bad today but i felt like my eyes were really wide and i spent hours just staring into space#ive got the 1000 yard stare i guess. but i dont feel bad. just like maybe i dont wanna sleep like maybe i should stay up all night#but like doing what? i cant even really draw rn bc my attention slips sideways and the faces come out fucked up#if i actually try. so like idk. lol my boss is in town now and she asked if i could take a break to meet tomorrow#and i gave here what i can only imagine is an unfathomable stare and i was like. i can meet but i have to b doing measurements#can i take a break for half an hour? no i can take a break for like 4min. bc i have to finish by 6 so i can go run out all my anger before#the sun sets. im not sure yet how ill adjust to this experiment being over. im not sure what ill do this week#but i dont really wanna deal with a fake meeting to celibate my birthday. bc thats gotta be what it is bc like bro ive had no time to do#anything. i have nothing to meet wuth u abt. if u want my data wait until friday. but if im taking measurements every 5min i have an excuse#to b like bye im gonna fuck off now āļø so i dunno. well see what happens tomorrow bc i feel weird and every other time ive finished the#measurement taking period ive collapsed into complete dispair so well see how Wednesday goes#Wednesday? i meant Tuesday. fuck i dont even kno what day it is#maybe ill actually send my boss the meeting notes even tho i think thr meeting is fake bc i mean i dont wanna sleep anyway#god. this is such a dumb thing to b stressed and paranoid abt. but she does it for everyone in the lab and any disruption to my schedule rn#is like. ill take it as a mortal wound. a knife to the gut. or maybe itll b fine bc im v well adjusted and normal#and i will not freak out and throw a weird tantrum like a brat. ugh.#unrelated#me#im just gonna keep going. keep swimming forward bc stagnation is death#half my brain: self sabotage. self sabotage. do it do it do it. like bro leave me alone. stop making me suffer. what did i do?
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Somehow one of my old high school notebooks ended up at goodwill and not only did someone buy it, but they found my phone number and texted me š¬š¬š¬ which isā¦ not cool, but also they turned out to be nice, so whatever, I guess
#I got this and started kinda freaking out because I had no idea what was in it#and how do people keep finding my phone number???#damn I kinda hate this digital world#anyway I figured out that one of my trash bags got mixed in with my goodwill donations a couple of weeks back#and some goodwill worker actually looked through all the trash and thought āyeah someone will buy this old used notebookā#anyway they sent me a pic of a couple of pages and Iām prettttty sure itās all just dumb highschool stuff for tv broadcasting#but they were nice and it made me feel nostalgic to briefly talk about it with someone so I canāt be too mad#I meanā¦ I dunno#maybe itās some bored teenager and they find this weird notebook and want to know more about it#not that thereās anything too wild in there#really I vaguely remember flipping through it before tossing it and I donāt remember anything eye catching#if it had anything I really thought was important I probably would have kept it#and itās about 15 years old so Iām of the mind that itās aged past my need to worry whatās in it#eventually you get old enough that the stuff you did in your teens feels like someone elseās bullshit#likeā¦ 15 years on Iām barely the same person#whatever is embarrassing in there is embarrassing for teen Ian not current Ian#but wowā¦ I really hope they didnāt pay for that#or that they at least got a few laughs out of it#that would actually make up for finding my number#if someone else can even briefly enjoy some of my old dumb stuff then thatās pretty cool#but alsoā¦ howād they get my fucking number!?#bleghhhh#for a second I hoped it was one of my old poetry books.#I would love to get one of those back#I used to have so many notebooks of my poetry#but ya know dumb teen-to-twenties Ian had to get all moody and trash them#wellā¦ thatās life I guess#ok anyway sorry to bother you#mine#text
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