#but i really dont get it with edgeworth other than being the established name of the character it doesnt really even suit him?

[beneaththebloodylake]

my take on the localised names thing is that eustace winner is actually a better name, it clearly shows his obsession with being the best while also showing hes a loser, and the name that should be getting hate but doesnt because its established since the first game is miles edgeworth. its completely random and the only part they managed to keep was 'edge' as in swords have edges which is a bit pathetic when you think about it

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

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alright, we’re here live with phoenix wright at temple temple 

lets see where we go.

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aw he’s worried about maya. thank god someone is.

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“I didn’t come all the way to khura’in to be useless”

prove it, edgey

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oh its one of those lady gaga guards again

Lah’kee. aww cute

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“I advise you accept the invitation”

well he can’t really decline it, miles.

Also “Lakhee” haha. at least edgeworth’s ability to mess up names is still here.

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hm i wonder how she’s really spying on everyone. something ridiculous no doubt. 

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oooh the ‘audience chamber’

i smell a cutscene 

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ooh i was right

kinda

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“this place is still as magnificent as last time”

wait what do you mean last time

it was listed as a new location in the map

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“looks like you’re doing well”

damnit nick you made me laugh.

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phoenix now has ‘bludgeoned by child’ to add to his list of stuff he’s survived 

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we’ve already established that you cant get spiritual power from the orb unless you’re a medium already. come on now.

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“For in Khura’in, only those who possess spiritual power may sit on the throne” 

uh im all for feminism and that but you might wanna open your king or queenitude to a wider and possibly more qualified range of people. 

i mean spirit mediums are awesome and all but summoning ghosts does not necessarily make you a good politician. 

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“But the queen seems almost giddy for someone who’s husband was just murdered”

well I'm glad you told me that, phoenix, because i cannot fucking tell on her flat ass face

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poor rayfa... she’s really grown on me. i hope she’ll be okay.

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hmm. something just happened that i *think* should have tripped the magatama... but who cares. nothing works anymore.

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“When it turned out Dhurke was forging evidence the people were devastated, and trust in the legal system plummeted”

anD THUS BEGAN THE DARK AGE OF THE 

NO

NO NON O NON NOOOOOO WE LEFT THAT BEHIND IN DD DO NOT BRING IT BACK.

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“We have the divination seance, so we don’t need lawyers anymore”

yeah you also don’t need prosecutors anymore either. all you need is a judge to go “huh, looks legit” and into the slammer they go.

...and yet... and yet...

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WHOA WHAT

SHE MOVES?!

also thats literally Morgan’s laugh but flipped. She’s evil. 

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“it’s missing? I'm sure Dhurke had it when he went into the tomb”

why is phoenix so fucking stupid when he goes to kooraheen. its like when he sets foot on their soil his brain just drops every single shred of self preservation it once had. i mean i know he used to show evidence to blatant criminals but like, at least he had misgivings about doing it.

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“From his odd hairstyle, may we assume him to be a relative? Perhaps, your younger brother?”

‘no, he’s my son.’

haha but in all seriousness considering Jove’s facial similarity to phoenix and the amount of shoehorned backstory for Apollo, they could pretty damn well be related.

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wow. not only does phoenix yell EW NO HES NOT RELATED TO ME but he /also/ lets slip that he’s related to Dhurke. You know. Right in front of the queen who hates the living shit out of Dhurke.

Thanks for draining my baby’s braincells, SOJ......

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“whats she whispering to that guard?”

oh i dunno nick maybe something about that thing you said about Apollo being related to the queen’s ARCH NEMESIS.

GOOD FUCKING LORD.

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“That’s one swanky throne. I wouldn't mind taking a seat there myself.”

the audacity. and yet i love him for it.

“The jester and the crown. I imagine it’d make quite the interesting picture”

Ouuuch

“You know, Edgeworth, I hate to say this, but you’re absolutely right.”

he’s remembering that time he got all doe eyed over Dhurke’s mouldy jacket. 

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why is the bazaar also a new area

we’ve been there before

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...oh. warbaads sound like lions?? the fuck????

its a form of mimicry? to protect against predators??

when did he learn this again?!

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oh god. of course. of course it would be Vore Machine who makes a fucking gunshot noise in the middle of a crowded area.

brilliant.

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“since more people are joining us, ive decided to employ something that sounds like a gunshot to scare the fuck outta them!’

flawless strategy as always, dingel.

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“What with the murder/suicide!”

he shouts with a huge grin

“Hopefully this means Tahrust’s death won’t be in vain after all”

GOD. even brain dead nick noticed it was abso-fuckin’-lutely pointless.

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“see, i give my fellow rebels things that sound like gunshots, that will of course draw attention AWAY from them. yes, the loud noise things will definitely ward OFF the royal guards” genius.

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“those firecrackers are more useful than i thought”

yeah because he used one on a fucking vulnerable child. maybe try it again when the actual trained police are on your tail, see how well that turns out for you. 

also fuck you Datz.

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aw i love Rayfa and Nick’s interactions. She’s adorable and he humours her so much. It’s sweet. 

this is genuine by the way; its the highlight of the kooraheen cases for me. as i said Rayfa’s really grown on me. she was annoying at first but now it’s just kinda... cute?

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“But hearing her all alone I... I can’t help but think of Trucy”

OW

OW

OW

OW

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“it’s as if your brain-to-mouth filter shuts off the second you step out of the courtroom” 

oh man edge. you'd be snacking on your words if you saw his internal monologue. 

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phoenix: men are messy. i am messy. 

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where IS nayna...

in other news, Phoenix continues to dad at Rayfa

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(weeping) oh god Rayfa’s so cute

please be kind to her pleaaase

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(rayfa seems really worried for Nayna...)

yea maybe you should do something about that nick

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Phoenix: rayfs maybe you uhh shouldnt do the divination thing i can do that

wehhh protect her nick

god she’s even feeling bad for being a brat. please just give her a hug or something, jeez;

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i know its just a call back but how /did/ he get his hands on some J’suis Lebelle?

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“I like my natural stress-grey very much ,thank you!”

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“Do you suppose if I slept on it, I could see my father once more?”

OW

WHAT THE FUCK SOJ

obviously phoenix agrees with me. jesus.

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shdgah i thought the notepad was a sandwich 

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Huh! Inga was face-blind. who knew?

i kid, i kid. its probably related to queenbean’s magic surveillance shit 

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hehehe everybody luuuurves edgeworth

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Phoenix: drugs??? oh no I'm a cool kid. say no

(steals drugs)

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n’awww. her birfday was the safe code. i guess even bad men love their daughters.

OH AND HER BABY LETTERS IN THERE TOO AHH

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(yells) gfakgkkajafksj THERE’S AN ‘ASSASSINATION PLAN”

GOD

fake. fake fake fake. fake as fuck.

people don’t write little “my evil plan” notes to themselves. 

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Rayfa: *sees picture of someone other than her mother holding her as a baby* MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIIIIIIIE

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“I wonder what’s afoot?”

THE GAME, EDGEWORTH, THE GAME!!!

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Edgeworth’s bitten by a fuckin dog and he STILL Cant manage a human emotion. good lord.

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hmm. i know that was supposed to be comedic but the lack of visuals really kinda dampened the thing.

...plus, to choke edgeworth, the pressure would need to be applied to the front of his neck, not the back, and since the dog is on the front, it cant have choked him. it couldn’t have even pulled the “cravat” tighter because it’s not actually tied up.

(sigh) oh whatever.

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Datz, emerging from a manhole to recruit 

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Wow Datz sure loves to scare the shit out of children. What a class act.

“HAHA FUCK YOU KID, I HOPE YOUR DOG’S LOST FOREVER AND MAYBE DIES”

SUCH a class act.

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“Ahlbi’s not exactly the picture of self restraint...”

phoenix he’s nine

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“I worry about his future sometimes...”

of course you do, dad ;)

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“You cant go trespassing like that, even if it’s for a good cause; it’s just not right!”

hey, trilogy and AJ nick would say otherwise, old man. you use to be cool. and interested in doing bad things for good ends.

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weird haircut - friend of phoenix 

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“a big orange spider leg” AHLBI 

he's right, but he shouldn’t say it!

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“they were being pursued by royal guards!”

:) hey phoenix :) maybe next time dont tell the queen :) that they’re involved with her mortal enemy :) maybe :)))))

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alright and that’s part 2 of the investigation over. apparently there’s a part 3? they sure are breaking the established time codes for cases in this game... oh well! stay tuned for the next time!

[buddyfaith]

ok check this out right, this is The Great Skewing of AA Ships, in reverse chronological order by birth chunks for convenience.

2009-2011

Athena, Juniper (2009)/ Pearl (2010)/ Trucy (2010/11)

Because this category is all girls, Athena’s introduction is literally her being a Doting Gal Pal™ to Junie, Trucy and Pearl being psychic kid buddies is canon iirc? it’s a good time all around. There’s two years between the oldest member of this batch and the youngest, and as far as i can tell like no male character who shows up more than once belongs here. 

1999-2004

Simon, Maya, Franziska (1999) / Ema (2001)/ Regina Berry, Kay, Klavier, Sebastian (2001/02)/ Daryan (2002)/ Nahyuta (2003) / Apollo, Clay (2004)

okay so im gonna kick this off with the only “”feasible”” m/f pair I can see here, fey///quill. Don’t get me wrong, Maya is a lesbian through and through (imho), but for [straight person voice] argument’s sake: there’s a lot in terms of a potential relationship there? Maya would think Simon as equal parts too cool!!! and too dedicated….. and they would both collect steel samurai trading cards, dont even lie to yourself. This makes 300% more sense than….. the other simon one. look inside yourself.That being said!!!! I don’t think they’ve even met, really. Timelines have always been kinda ehhhhh and if capcom wanted this we would have had it down our throats, especially now that they’ve existed in the same game. I want them to be friends.

ANYWAY look at all of those girls. I admit Regina is only there because she tried to apply to be Kay’s gf  in the yatagarasu but aside from her, any and all of them have met. They’re an ot5 or less depending on personal preference, and honestly any combination of the girls (especially if you exclude Regina, who’s only here on two technicalities) stands as plausible. This is compounded by all of these girls in particular being popularly depicted as lesbians!

aaaand the back six. I admit Daryan shouldnt be here but he’s put with Klavier sometimes and he’s also an asshole. That’s something I’ve seen in fics sometimes so there he is. Anyway. Outside of that and, obviously, Brothers Nahyuta and Apollo, it’s fair game here too? everybody else has a ship with apollo and that’s just the start of it, the only person I’ve genuinely seen never shipped with anybody is Sebestian. 

ANYWAY i’m personally partial to the fan favorites of this generation in terms of the boys (klapoll/o + simon and nahyuta) but im always down to throw clay into the former for the truest ot3. this is my Unneeded Opinion™ to close the category.

1992-1996

Phoenix Edgeworth and Justine (1992-93)/ Larry, Dahlia, and Iris (1993)/ Bobby Fulbright (1994)/ Adrian Andrews (1994/95)/ Maggey and the wonderful couple The Delites (1995-96)

it’s worth noting that the established grand larceny power couple were both born at the same time, that’s cute. also, Adrian is just here for reference against Franziska, who’s in the next chunk chronologically, and Bobby is here for reference against Simon, who is the same. (*deep breath* black/bright….. what could have been…….) also maggey is here to go up with gumshoe but i dont even remember where that dude is.

This technically isn’t a complete chunk. Lang is born in ‘91, in between this batch and the last one, but im making the list and the rules.

Not much to say here except bi phoenix is pried from my cold dead hands? right. Also i’ve never seen justine/ edgeworth in my life and i appreciate that in retrospect, although im sure it exists.

1985-1991

Diego (1985)/ Thalassa, Gumshoe (1986)/ Lana (1987)/ Mia, Calisto Yew (1989)/ Aura Blackquill (& presumably Metis Cykes) (1990)/ Lang (1991)

i put the interpol furry in this half as opposed to the last one because calisto yew had us both going and i Love to Suffer c:

anyway the only romantic cyke///squi///ll i need in my life ever is Metis and Aura. Metis doesn’t have a birthday so im taking things into my own hands there but even if i wasn’t she’d be around here somewhere.

Observable phenomena: lana and mia were born consecutively and are big lesbians…… i should talk about diego here but i won’t, lemme save it for the end, i have conclusive proof mia is a lesbian.

1982-1985

Datz, Valant, Ray (1982)/  Dhurke (1983)/ Katherine Hall (1985)

ok this is kind of the point when things start getting irrelevant but we have the rebel leaders who were probably a ship? i havent done much fandom-ing wrt soj and also ray and kate who is like. the only person in his own age rage that he hits on. ray wyd stop being a creep.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

There’s a 13 year difference between badd (1958) and faraday (1971), making them the largest age difference ship with any traction in my heart. The gap between Gumshoe and Maggey is ten years? wow.

Morgan’s birth is approximated, but she’s a maximum 3 years younger than Greg (1966). 

 Most differences of 6ish years (Miles and Franziska, Phoenix and Maya, Athena and Simon in the outlying 12 year case) are portrayed as siblings (I mean I guess the latter two are my humble onion but. C’mon.) 

Thalassa is closer in age to gumshoe, Katherine Hall, Lana Skye, and Diego Armando (to name a few, there are more) than Zak Enigmar. There is no documented birthday for Jove Justice, but if he was older than twenty when they were married, the same holds true for him.

Defense attorneys aren’t suited to each other! As far as i can tell nobody with a badge on their lapel tries to date anybody else with the same.*

Co-counsel doesn’t date!*

(*my idea that mia is a lesbian is vaguely rooted in this since mi/ego is the only thing that goes against it? and that ends badly! it turns out she didn’t feel that way for him and she realized that once he “died”, so hc that she only said yes to him to see if it would go anywhere/heteronormativity/realized she was a lesbian after dating him)

anyway every other co-counsel relationship is literal siblings or someone and Mr Wright.  

this got even longer than i was expecting but as a closing remark because of the story’s format and timeline we have a particularly large amount of gay ships! like the particular focus that the game casts upon the relationship between wright and miles, klavier and apollo, particularly NOT simon and athena, considering how similar the “i became a lawyer to save you!” narrative is to p+m and yet the story is about her mother, is about coming to terms with their own trauma etc, siblings, anyway. i’m done now.