#dunno if i'm explaining myself properly

[kqluckity]

dream pisses me off so much, those people "collabed" on your server because tommy came to you and was like "could you add this person?" "could you add my friend?" AND DREAM HIMSELF HAS SAID THIS!!! quackity, tubbo, purpled, philza, techno, niki, jack, schlatt? all added because tommy asked. they are part of the reason the smp got so big you can't take credit for them being there and the server wouldn't have been 1/4th of what it was without them. fuck off.

[myimaginationplain]

I'm being sincere when I say that I really, really love this show & that there's a lot in Act II that I desperately wish I could care about, but I just can't find it in myself to gaf. Why should I have cared about Cait's heel-turn when ultimately all it took was one short conversation with Vi for her to unceremoniously become "good" again? Why should I have been excited to see Jinx become a symbol of Zaun's resistance against Piltover when we barely get to see why or how that happened? Why should I care that Mel is borne from some magical entity when we're 3 episodes away from the show being over & they still have yet to properly explain who or what the Black Rose even is? Why on God's green earth would I give a shit about Vander having had a crush on Vi & Powder's mom? I dunno. I was just so in love with season 1 (& I still am!), & Act I, while not without its pacing-related flaws, got me so fucking pumped for the rest of the show. So this, while not terrible persay, is a really big let down rn.

[jikookuntold]

The Untold Truth of "Letter"

Back in 2021, 2022, or even early 2023, if someone had told me about the possibility of JK having vocal credits in Jimin's solo album, I would have called it wishful thinking at best. But it happened, and we got the song "Letter" (AKA Dear Army) as a hidden track in Jimin's first solo album, FACE, with back vocals by JK, and his name written invisibly in the album book.

The perfectly matching vocals of Jikook, with the heartfelt lyrics and soft instruments, undoubtedly made one of the most beautiful songs of the year, which could break many records for Jimin and his album if it was released in the streaming and buying services. The release of Letter as a hidden track in Jimin's solo album raised many questions and debates among Jikookers, and as someone who barely scrolls in the Tumblr app, I know I'm a bit late for the party, but I may or may not have some notes to add to the already made discussions. FYI, these are my analytic views and speculations, I am fully aware that this song has been named "Dear Army", and Jimin called it a "Fan song" on different occasions. So, I do not intend to ignore that and diminish Jimin's expression of love for his fans.

What's a Hidden Track?

Before getting into "Letter", we need to understand what a hidden track is. Well, the definition is pretty clear; When a song is not listed in the official track-list of a music album, but it exists in (some versions of) the physical printed CD, cassette, or LP, it's called a "hidden track". 

Hidden Tracks of BTS

There are several techniques and reasons to "hide" a track in an album, but in the case of BTS discography, the hidden tracks exist for a specific reason, and I'm going to explain it with the only examples we have. The debut album (2013) and Love Yourself: Her (2017), are the only BTS albums including hidden tracks, and if we ignore the skits in each album, "Path" and "Sea" are the only hidden songs BTS ever released. So, these two songs must have something(s) in common and different from the other BTS tracks that caused them to end up as a hidden track. To find that common factor, we need to check their lyrics first:

Path

[Intro: RM] Yeah, wassup? You know, time flows like stars (Check it, check, check, check, check it out) [Verse 1: RM] I started from imitating Eminem, Garion, Epik High To writing my own raps Now I see that I’m already at Hongdae My lyrics back then were all (****) Bossy But we dunno, we dunno When I dreamed without anyone to stop me Reality tied me down and trapped me inside Oh, my youth trapped me My hot heart lost to my cold mind (Damn) As I blindly told myself my decision was right I don’t know whether it’s an angel or a devil, but it says to me "Do you really have any plans to rap properly?" (Yes or no?) I didn’t have more time to hesitate and didn’t want to be stupid So I came here and three years passed by Some say art is long, life is short But for now, art is life Life is sports, just do it, uh [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? If I stopped and looked back (Oh hey ya, hey ya) What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 2: Suga, Suga & Jungkook] A long time passed and by 2013, I was a trainee for three years I was a high school student who grew overnight (I became a child) White hair grew from my desires and one by one my many friends (Parted ways with me) I spent my time in Seoul alone without a family (That was my third spring) I thought my worries would disappear with my debut ahead of me I closed my eyes to the present that had nothing to change But the reality was different, even as my family and friends tried to stop me I walked into the tunnels that shed no light on my own I thought I would be alone (Why?) As it turns out, there weren’t seven bare feet but we were wearing the shoe named Bangtan We’ll have to go forward, take one more step, become newer And that’s how I spent my fourth spring in Seoul (Whoa) [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? (Hey) If I stopped and looked back (Hey) Oh hey ya, hey ya What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 3: J-Hope] 2010, the year I walked towards Seoul! I just loved to dance, and now I’m standing on top of the stage Until then, I overcame many pains and scars to prepare myself I survived with my belief to bend, not break, and ran for three years Let the stars inside my heart shine! Now shine on me differently Write “Bangtan” on the paper world I walk my future with more lights on Give a smile to that far future (Ha, ha)

As you can see, the lyrics are simple and self-explanatory, so I guess we don't need any lyrics analysis, and the description section of the Genius translation I used here, says it all:

“길 (Road/Path) follows the member’s decisions to become idols in the Korean music industry. They recall their different upbringings from listening to hip hop in school to the hard years of being trainees under BigHit Entertainment. BTS pose the questions of how their lives would be different if they made a different decision, and they ask themselves what the future entails. A very introspective track about their career for a debut album, BTS display their thought processes as they enter the music scene.”

Sea

[Intro: Jungkook] Oh, ah, yeah [Verse 1: Rap Monster] I just started walking and ended up at the sea I'm looking at the coast from here There's endless sand and the rough wind I'm still looking at a desert I wanted to have the sea so I swallowed you up But I'm even thirstier than before Is what I know really the ocean? Or a blue desert? [Refrain: J-Hope] I don't know, I don't know If I'm feeling the waves right now, yeah I don't know, I don't know If I'm being chased by the sand wind, yeah I don't know, I don't know Is this the sea or the desert? Is this hope or despair? Is this real or fake? Shit [Pre-Chorus: J-Hope] I know, I know, my hardship right now I know, I know, I'll overcome I know, I know, open me up It's the place I can rely on Think positive, I'm swallowing my dry spit Even if I'm nervous, even if I'm in a desert I'm in the beautiful Namib Desert [Chorus: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope, there is always trial (4) [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Verse 2: Suga] I thought this was the ocean but it's a desert A medium-sized, ordinary idol was my second name Countless people get cut from broadcast But someone's empty spot is our dream They say some of these kids can't make it cuz their agency is too small I know, I know, I know too Times when the seven of us had to sleep in one room With foolish hope that tomorrow will be different before we fell asleep We saw the mirage in the desert but we couldn't grasp it Praying that we'll remain in this desert till the end Praying that this isn't truly our reality [Verse 3: Suga] In the end, we reached the mirage and it became our reality The scary desert became the ocean with our blood, sweat and tears But why is there this fear in between the happiness? Because we know too well that this place is really a desert [Refrain 2: Suga] I don't wanna cry I don't wanna rest No, who cares if we rest a little? No no no I don't wanna lose It's always a desert I told you everything Then I'll just be more depressed [Chorus: Jungkook, V] Where there is hope, there is always trial (2) [Hook: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Bridge: Rap Monster] Ocean, desert, the world Everything, the same thing Different name I see ocean, l see desert I see the world Everything's, the same thing With a different name It's life again [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know you know you know yeah (2) [Chorus] Where there is hope, there is always trial

Compared to “Path”, we have more innuendos and metaphors in “Sea” because of Namjoon’s lyricism (it was supposed to be in his mixtape at first), but as the description says:

"It discusses the hardships BTS has experienced since debut, particularly struggling to compete with groups from other, larger agencies. In this song, BTS reflects on these hardships, fearing that their global fame and success could leave as suddenly as it arrived."

Common Denominator

These two lyrics have one big thing in common, and it's the topic they are discussing. They talk about the members' struggles, fears, hopes, and dreams career-wise. I was thinking maybe these issues are something they can only share with their longtime fans, not the general public, therefore, they decided to release them as hidden tracks in the physical album for their real fans who buy them, something like the difference between Weverse and Instagram, I guess? Then I realized that’s something Namjoon has mentioned himself to Billboard Magazine, in LYS: Her interview:

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

"I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like to be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are a true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track — if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 — they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts"

What about "Letter"?

In conclusion, hidden tracks for BTS, are something between them and their real fans who know about the path they have wended, therefore they can open up to them through lyrics and talk about their fears and struggles and ambitions without being judged or misunderstood. Also, we have to debunk some of the misconceptions going around (especially after the release of FACE) about hidden tracks. For example, some claimed that Letter is made for fans because hidden tracks are always supposed to be “gifts” for fans. This claim obviously can’t be true when you are able to listen to a hidden track legally, only by purchasing the physical album. Gifts are supposed to be free of charge, like Promise, Still with You, Christmas Love, My You, and so on. 

Then what about “Letter”? Why this song is a hidden track in Jimin’s first solo album? Did Jimin want to say something by hiding this track in FACE? To answer this questions, we need to pay attention to the lyrics and how the song was made:

 [Verse 1] What should I say? And how should I convey it? I'm really not getting my words right I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I hope you can be happier You, who stretched your hand out to me whenever I fell I say oh-oh, I'll hold it now (I'll hold it) So when you feel like crying, you won’t fall [Verse 2] After all this time has passed Will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met, hmm-mmm If we are together, even the desert could turn to a sеa Just like how we were then, oh-hoo-ooh [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I really hope that it’ll last forever You, who felt like a warm spring to me in a cold winter I say oh-oh, I'll always cherish it All those moments between you and I [Refrain] Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah To you, who see me bigger than what my little self is (to you) So that I can give as much as I’ve received (oh-oh) So that I can keep my word (oh-oh) Don't worry, just stay by my side, yeah (Yeah) We don’t know what the future holds (holds, yeah) And that’s scary and makes us afraid (oh-oh) But don’t forget that we’re always together (don't forget) [Outro] I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly

The Feelings

If you compare these lyrics to "Path" and "Sea" you can clearly see the differences, and except a mention of "sea and desert" there's nothing in common between them. Letter is not a monologue about career issues, it's a romantic song. These lyrics are expressing the feelings and addresses them to an audience and appreciates them. But how was this song made?

According to Jimin, at first, SMF Pt2 was supposed to be the last track of his solo album, but in their YTC promotion and recording era when they announced that they have planned to put their group activities on rest, Jimin decided to express his feelings of the moment through a letter, and turned that letter to song lyrics. Producers liked the song so much and decided to add it in his album and that’s how “Letter” was born. Although Jimin didn’t explain much about those “feelings” and left the conclusion to us like a true artist, we all know that this song is totally different from the other tracks in his album.

All the tracks of FACE are dark and sad. Jimin’s first album is all about himself, and he talks about the painful emotions he had as an artist and a person in the past few year, but with “Letter” there is a different story. Recording Academy admitted this and wrote:

“Though the EP is technically only six songs, the physical version has an additional “hidden” track called “Letter”. The song provides an intimacy that stands out from the other FACE tracks, capturing Jimin in his best form. The lyrics are poignant and vulnerable as Jimin pleads for someone to stay (“Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah”) The biggest surprise though? Fellow BTS member Jungkook contributes vocals to harmonize with Jimin.”  

A Fan Song?

“Letter” being a “Fan Song” is a stated fact by Park Jimin himself, and there can’t be any arguments about it, but that fact doesn’t mean Jimin made this song with the thought of fans in his head and all about them. In one of my old posts, I said that a faceless crowd can’t be the muse for a romantic song, especially when that song has a "standing-out intimacy".

Another reason for calling "Letter" a fan song, is the fact that it starts at 6:13 of the album, the numbers that remind us of the debut date of BTS. We can't call this a coincidence because we know how thoughtful and punctual Jimin is. But don’t forget that 6.13 is more of BTS time than ARMY time. So, as much as you call this track a song for fans, it can be called a song for his fellow BTS members.

Why JK?

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. Why JK was a part of this song? Did it mean something for Jimin, or did he have no other options? Jimin said that FACE is an album about himself, and he didn’t feel right about featuring other artists in it, that’s why he decided to record SMF Pt2 all alone and do all the rap parts by himself instead of featuring Yoongi in it. He collaborated with several producers and songwriters (including Namjoon), but there was no featured artist in the whole album.

About the background vocals of the album, he did most parts by himself, and for the other parts, he worked with artists who already had credits in his album, such as BLVSH, Sumin, and James Keys. But JK didn’t have anything to do with Jimin’s album. Jimin was fully capable of doing the background vocals of Letter by himself, as he did for the first parts of the song. Jimin never really explained why he decided to have JK in the song, other than saying their voices match. This known fact doesn’t give us much information, but we can have our speculations. 

Closer Than This?

Another thing that questions the idea of “Letter" being inspired by fans, is the existence of “Closer Than This”. The newest release of Jimin is the exact definition of a fan song, the lyrics are straightforward and directly address the fans and leave no place for speculation. If CTT is the result of Jimin getting inspired by his fans, then “Letter” must be inspired by something different because these two songs are not comparable. 

The difference becomes more obvious when we look at the initial version of the Letter lyrics in Jimin’s drafts. I wonder what the Grammy journalist who called the final lyrics of “Letter” intimate would have said if they read this: 

You hugged me tightly Only you who protected me Hold my hand, hold my hand tightly You who reached out my hand You held out your hand to me

We don’t know what was going on in Jimin’s mind when he wrote these, but we can see that the initial lyrics have been moderated, and the intimate parts, which clearly refer to a person, didn’t end up in the final lyrics. FYI, I’m doing a lyric analysis here, and this is not a complaint or conspiracy theory because Jimin said that he liked the way the final version came out, and it's all that matters.

For Fans, Not About Fans

So far we made it clear that "hidden tracks" are not about fans, they are for fans like any other BTS song, but the hidden tracks are a secret between the artist and the fan, something that only the true and dedicated fan can understand, and this applies to Jimin's "Letter".

Jimin gave up on many records for streaming and buying by releasing this song as a hidden track in his album. So, there must be an important message in this song that he wanted to convey to the true fans. He did his share of being thankful to fans by CTT, and I don't think he needed to do it twice in a year.

Maybe you prefer to think Jimin just made this song for ARMY and hid it in the album as a surprise or because it didn’t match with the whole concept of FACE, and you might not be wrong about any of that. But, don’t forget that he didn’t explain anything about this, and we both are just making assumtions.

Yes, maybe Jimin didn't acknowledge JK being a part of Letter in his promotion era, but JK did everything he could for his share. A few hours before the release of FACE, he started a live and played a part of it with his guitar, and months later, he watched Jimin's live performance for Festa while harmonizing with it and reminding us that he knows the lyrics very well. In Jimin's documentary he was very supportive and even teased for a live performance with him in future.

Why Just Jikook?

Jimin and Jungkook are not the only members of BTS. But I don't know why everytime Jimin or JK do something with romantic undertones, the fans (OT7 ARMYs, to be more specific) immediately try to label it as "About ARMY". I usually don't see this energy with the other five members. I'm perfectly sure they are also very grateful for ARMY, they have released several songs about them, and they would have loved to collaborate in a fan song with Jimin, too.

Then why Jimin only included JK in Letter? Why he wanted to sing for "ARMY" with him? Unless we assume Jimin's gratitude towards ARMY has connections with JK, and I don’t even want to bring up 2019 "I am army" jokes. But "Letter" is the song the most optimistic Jikookers didn't expect to exist. You may try to ignore and normalize it, but you can't deny the fact that Letter proved Jikook's unbreakable connection as two harmonic colleages, long time friends, and inseparable souls.

[whumpsday]

I've been rereading some chapters and asks cause I missed Kane and Jim dearly and, I'm not sure if i can explain myself properly, but it kinda makes me extra sad and feel extra bad for Kane knowing that he had a potential somewhere deep inside to be much better person if he grew up in different environment. So much pain could be avoided, both for him and others. Although it might be a wrong impression. But like, I'm looking at Anton, or Aldrich and I don't see any of that in them, they make Kane look almost decent (ofc I know he was not, he was still an abusive man, but I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD ONLY TAKE SOME LOVE AND CARE FROM HIS SHIT FAMILY TO MAKE HIM BETTER??? I see no redeemable qualities in Anton at all)

Dunno if it even makes sense, it just makes me pull my hair in frustration haha. (NOT AT YOU, YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE FOR YOUR WORK, ITS AIMED AT DE SANGS)

it could even be considered less about his family specific and more about the society he grew up in in general--one that considers it not just normal, but expected for noble vampires to kidnap people, hold them captive, and have the captives act a certain way. in fact, kane's father specifically told him not to capture a human, because he did realize kane was at increased risk of being killed by hunters (less for kane's wellbeing and more to save himself the embarrassment). kane did so anyway, because he wanted to prove himself capable of meeting those societal expectations.

[eyesore-boi]

You think that you're alone but

We are waiting for you every night...

You're mine.

Close ups and other stuff below!

...so....10 years, huh?

I cannot understate how much FNaF means to me in my life, and yeah...know that sounds a b i t much considering it's the funny har har bear games, but lemme explain-

Truth is, i was actually terrified of FNaF when it first came out! I remember my first introduction to it was when i was having a sleepover at my friend's place and he was both playing and watching other people play the first game, and when i was watching it with him, i got scared and tried to avoid the game as much as i could, even claiming to hate the game despite just knowing the first game. I was young and was prone to sheltering myself from stuff i didn't understand, and that being the first scary game i've ever seen caused that reaction, but over time...that changed.

It happened when i was watching YT and clicked on a comic dub i never seen before, thinking it was an AU for a fandom i was in (probably Undertale i dunno), but lo and behold, it was actually a fandub/animatic for the missing kids incident, and that...peaked my interest. I got curious on how this scary game actually had an interesting story to it and not just some game that goes boo. So, soon after that, i decided to look up simply "FNaF Story", found the Game Theory videos, and...the rest is history.

I was amazed and hooked, got invested in how the games explained the story in ways i've never seen before, got excited when i saw everything click together in real time, and pair that with how i got into the series r i g h t when Sister Location came out, arguably when the lore really started to kick off, i knew there was no going back now. I stuck with the series since. I watched all the animatics and dubs, listened to all the songs, tried drawing the characters, made OC's, and even talked to other people about this franchise.

And now look- Not gonna pretened this whole time it's been sunshine and (Chica's) rainbows, especially in recent times. The drop off SB caused, the lore getting more and more complicated and convoluted, the divide between older and newer fans, being the founder of Mascot Horror (for every Poppy Playtime there i s a Garten of Ban Ban) and course the IRL drama, but in all seriousness...i still wouldn't trade it for anything.

FNaF, this series, is my very first experience connecting me with a community like this, both good and bad, helping me understand how to properly enjoy media and even learn/take things from it, and i think without it i wouldn't be in the fandoms i'd be in now. The scary, horror ones, the niche, hard to find ones, story driven, character rich, and of course...more importantly...getting me into Markiplier, which further influenced the "outside the box" kind of thinking cause my g o d for these two stories you need too-

And speaking of, because of those two stories, it lead to me branching out more creativily and even creating my own webcomic for an AU combining both of them, so regardless on how that'll go, i'm just glad this series has influenced me enough to create something for others to see, since that's all i ever want to give.

But really, this franchise will forever be with me, and though i don't always agree with all of it (i haven't read any of the books in y e a r s and i refuse to do so), it only makes some of the stuff it does do right completely worth it (like the movie, peak cinema), and for where ever this bear shaped train is going next, well, i'll be here for the ride for all of it. No matter how many burning buildings it goes through.

...oh and um- Right yeah. The actual art piece. Uh....it crashed multiple times when drawing it. It's even a miracle i was able to export it. I can't even open it up anymore. So even if i wanted to change anything about it, i c a n 't -

But still pretty happy with how it came together! Was run drawing these robos, some being kinda redraws from the past, while other's i've n e v e r drawn before, so that was interesting! But still, tried to draw the "main character" so to say from each of the main FNaF games, and just kinda be...walking along through the series, nothing too deep or complex, but still interesting enough! ....unlike the fnaf storyline cause g o d how many restaurants wERE THEIR S C O T T -

But for real this is going long enough, so ima head out and do my own FNaF related things thay you don't need to worry about shush *commits arson*

HAPPY 10TH FNAF BIRTHDAY EVERYBODY!! >:DD

[mrbeastimagines-3]

Karl! X Gn! Reader

Suggestion: y / n

Reader pronouns: they/them

POV: First Person

TW: minor swearing, fear of thunder / storms

Story Size: Medium

Summary:

You and the crew (Jimmy, Nolan, Kris, Chandler, and Karl) were staying in a hotel for a video that you would be filming tomorrow. You were planning on exploring the city that night, but it quite so happened to rain, causing a power outage. Jimmy had the great idea of playing Truth or Dare in one of the rooms, which you and the others , you had no clue what was in store for that night....

~★☆★~

“great, it's raining?” I heard Nolan groan from the hall. Raining? I didn't even notice since I was so caught up in my phone. I glance out the window, and to my surprise, it was pouring buckets. "Aw shit!" I heard Karl cry, which made me jump in shock a little. "I was so excited for tonight-"

Oh right, Jimmy planned for us to go to this dinner place. I remember Karl being really excited when he first told us, for whatever reason. Ah, well. I got up to the hall, unlocking the crisp white door. Jimmy obviously overdid himself with the pricy hotel, even though we were only staying two nights. Anyways, I met back up with the boys and Kris. "Hey guys… so uh… what are we gonna do since... Y'know-" I ask, more montotoned than I thought. Kris shrugged. "I dunno. Jimmy?" She glanced over at Jimmy, who was just walking up to us. I stood next to Karl, who looked disappointed.

"Well.. There's always watching TV!" Jimmy suggested, right when a big boom of thunder crashed outside. Karl and I jumped, and all the lights turned off. Great. I've always been afraid of storms… I try not to show my fear, but I clearly fail, since everyone looked over at me in concern.

"Well uh…" Jimmy began saying, making no comment upon my sudden fear. "Why don't we play truth or dare?" He perked up, proud of himself for making such a great idea. "I'm down" Kris smiled, and Chandler nodded.

"Why not" Nolan agreed. They all looked over at Karl and myself. "I'll play! Y/N are you going to?" Karl softly smiled. "I guess... There's nothing better to do-" I half smiled back.

"Alright! Let's go to Y/N's room since they're the closest!" Kris shouted. "Wait why my ro-" I began saying, but then, gave up. We entered the dark room, rain still pouring and thunder still crashing outside. We could see well enough from the city lights that were still on, but I still found myself uneasy in this new atmosphere. Karl noticed this again somehow, making him inch himself closer to me. I tried not to blush.

"Alright, who's going first?" Nolan asked. "NOT IT!" We all screamed, pointing at our noses. We all laughed.

"Well Nolan, since you didn't put your finger on your nose, you're asking first!" Jimmy explained; which was funny since he explained it in his YouTube voice. Nolan sighed. I actually wanted to go first, but come on. You gotta make fun of Nolan any chance you get!

Nolan looked around. "Y/N, Truth or Dare?" He asked, looking down at me since he was on the foot of my bed. "Um... Truth" I said. Nolan smirked.

"Okay uh, would you date anyone in the crew?" Nolan asked, as Jimmy, Chandler, and Kris just looked at each other, entertained.

"Uhm..." I glanced around the room for a second. "Yes" I finally stated, giving no more information. It's true, if you couldnt tell by now, I had a crush on Karl Jacobs. It's been a while now. He's just so… ugh... Anyway, it was now my turn to ask.

"Karl, truth or dare?" I asked him, turning my head to my right so I could see him properly. "Truth" He said. "Okay uh... Who do you like-?" I wondered. He opened his mouth, but before he could respond, an even louder boom of thunder than before bursted through the room. I jumped, and without even thinking, cuddled up next to Karl, afraid. It was my defense mechanism I guess.

"Y/N are you okay?" Jimmy asked, concerned once again. This made me snap out of my trance. I noticed where I was, burrowing my face into Karl's chest. I opened my eyes and stopped nuzzling myself into his soft, silky shirt. "H-holy shit I-" I jumped up, look at Karl, my face completely red. "I'm so sorry It just sorta happened and-!" I started to say, quickly, and embarrassed, completely ignoring Jimmy's question. "No it's okay...! Don't worry about it." He turned away. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed because he enjoyed it or embarrassed of me...

After we all calmed down, we continued our game, leaving Karl's question in the dust. This went on for hours, each of us slowly leaving the room to go to sleep. Chandler was the first to go, Nolan and Jimmy being the second (Jimmy had to drag Nolan out of my room, cause he fell asleep directly on my bed). Kris and Karl decided to leave too, since it was already 1 a.m, and we needed to get up early for our video shoot tomorrow. Right when they started to get up, the power turned back on. I heard Nolan scream some nonsense from his room, which made the three of us laugh.

After Karl and Kris left though, I snuggled up in my bed. But I just... Couldn't get comfortable. The thunder storm was over, but I didn't feel... Safe? With that, I got up, not even thinking. I inched towards Karl's door, quietly, slowly checking if the knob was unlocked. If it's unlocked, I'll go in... Was my logic. And to my 'luck', it was. I slowly creaked open the door, seeing Karl sitting in his bed, attempting to sleep. He was basically just staring at the floor.

"Karl?" I said quietly, making his eyes look up at me. "Y/N..! What are you doing here-?" He asked, patting down his hair so he could look presentable.

"I uh... Can't sleep" I mumbled, brushing my leg over my other and looking away. "But the thunder is over" Karl said, looking out his window he forgot to close.

"Yeah it's just…" I was about to explain myself, but I turned around to leave. "You know what, just forget it." I held back on his door knob, about to close the door. Karl sprung up, running up to me and grabbing my wrist gently. "No wait..."

I turned my face towards him. "Stay" He said in a soft, and sincere tone. "I-" Before I could decline the offer, he held my hand and brought me to his bed. "Here, I can sleep with you if you need a friend." He said, as we sat on the edge of his bed. "Wait that sounded weird..." he looked down, thinking his words through. I just giggled, which made him give me the most adorable smile I've ever seen. My face turned pink at the sight. His eyes sparkled with the moonlight that sprinkled through the window curtains. He then just stared into my eyes, and I stared into his.

"Y'know… I.. Well... That question you asked me at truth or dare?" He said, which made my eyes widen. He remembered?! "The answer is you" He blushed furiously.

"Wait you...?! You like me...?" I gasped, as he grabbed my hands. "Yeah." He smiled.

"I like you too" I grinned, and hugged him. We soon found ourselves cuddling on his bed, him wrapping his arms around me. "This is... Crazy... It feels like a dream..." He mumbled sleepily. I smiled.

"Yeah.." I said softly in response. "But... Even if it was a dream..." He muttered. "I'm glad it's with you... And... I'll always protect you Y/N, I promise..."

With that, we both drifted to sleep, in each others arms.

~☆★☆~

A/N: srry if this is bad or smthin! but ty for readinggg ^^

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Magic: Return of the Asspull

So the word on Twitter is that there have been leaked reports of a new anime called "Dragon Ball Magic". I'm pretty sure it's all made-up bullshit, but I remember thinking Dragon Ball Super was a pipe dream too, and here we are. So I may as well discuss the topic here.

The whole thing comes across like a modern day Dragon Ball AF, where there seems to be a lot more emphasis on hype and speculation than tangible evidence. For example, there's a twitter account dedicated to gathering all the information available about the new series, but all it really does is amplify rumors and fanworks. When I search for the title on Twitter I mostly get skeptics making fun of the idea, or true believers talking about the show as if it were objective fact. Like AF, there's a lot of excitement but no clear picture of what the the thing actually is. The only real consensus I can find is the following:

Dragon Ball Magic will feature the Supreme Kai

Goku will be turned into a child, just like in Dragon Ball GT

Geekdom101 talked about this once, so that means it must be real.

And that's why I led off with the screenshot of the tail-yanking scene from GT, because I was trying to find an appropriate image of GT Goku and the Supreme Kai, and... yeah, that's it.

The more I think about it, the more this feels like something an internet troll would come up with. Like, someone started with the stupidest moment in the worst Dragon Ball series ever, and built a rumor around it. Oh, and also the rumor namedrops Geekdom101, just to make it extra absurd. It's the sort of thing gullible people would flock to while everyone in on the joke would have a laugh over it.

I don't know enough about Geekdom101 to insult him properly, but I'm like 90% sure he's an asshole. Back when Twitter actually worked properly, I'd see his name trending and there'd be a bunch of people in the fandom going "Dammit, what's he done this time?" Does he have inside sources in the anime industry? I dunno, maybe he does, but I think he's got a credibility problem. I mean, he calls himself "Geekdom101", and his avatar is Golden Frieza with a pair of glasses and holding a lightsaber. His YouTube videos look like a clickbait parody, with things like "Kai-o-ken EXPLAINED" and "WHAT WE KNOW SO FAR". Also plenty of what-if and who-would-win videos.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that maybe this is a guy who makes a decent living off his fandom channel, and when there's not much going on, he'll cobble together a story just to keep the conversation going and draw more attention to his videos. Which... I mean, if that's profitable, so be it, but if Geekdom told me water was wet I'd want to double-check for myself.

As to the rest, even if Toei was really planning something like DB Magic, there's no guarantee they'd actually follow through with it. Plans change, and even if this were 100% legit, it means nothing without an official confirmation and a release date. That "Superman Lives!" movie with Nic Cage was a real thing... right until it wasn't.

But I find the concept too vague and too specific all at once. Like, okay, it's Supreme Kai and a de-aged Goku. Why them in particular? What are they going to do? It just feels like something someone made up to get a reaction from the fans. GT likers are supposed to get all excited or defensive about a potential GT reboot, and other fans are supposed to get upset that the Supreme Kai got the lead instead of their favorite C-lister.

Compare this to the early reveals for DBS: Superhero. Toei teased a few details, and gradually it became clear that the Red Ribbon Army was back somehow, and maybe there were some new androids, and there was a lot about Piccolo and Gohan, so it seemed like they'd be a big part of the story. It wasn't a complete picture, but it made sense from a promotional standpoint. People were more concerned with the CG animation than any of the characters or plot.

I mean, anyone can come up with this stuff. I mean, my uncle works for Nintendo, and he told me that the next anime is going to be called Dragon Ball Snazzy, and it'll be about Vegeta and 18 starting up a private detective agency. Or... I don't know, Dragon Ball Jazz, which is a prequel series featuring a young Dr. Brief and Gine as secret agents. Wait, how about Dragon Ball Spatula, starring Elder Guru and Launch as they explore the multiverse!

And you know, I'd probably watch any of these shows. Hell, I sat through GT, and it was awful! The bar's pretty low when it comes to making a Dragon Ball project that I'm willing to try out. But people have been clamoring for Dragon Ball Super II ever since the first series went off the air in 2018, and that was years ago. This Dragon Ball Magic business just sounds like the same old empty hype with a fresh coat of paint.

Or maybe the whole thing is real, but my advice is: Don't get your hopes up. Life's too short to get worked up over things that might never happen. If it actually comes to pass, then it'll still be just as much fun whether you believed it ahead of time or not.

[xx-cringe-factory-xx]

Space and void and idk what Im talking about !!!!!!!with images!!!!!!

cool so I've been thinking about the ties between space, time, void, and light. (there's a cut but this might not actually be that long)

coolll so ive been thinking "lmao, why do I kinda associate these with each other?" and uhm uh

time and space + light and void (also a bit of blood+breath) (there's no evidence im just saying stuff)

sooo obv there's the ones across from each other. duality or some shit. cringe. this is mostly me explaining to myself why time and space are associated with each other via talking about light and void.

light/void is about the ability to understand stuff

space/time is what you can and can't touch/affect.

meow

cool okay sooo space is about what you can change. what you can touch. void is about what's NOT there. time is what you cant change. light is about what's there.

(words: can change/space (left) cant change/timw (right) not there/void(bttom) is there/light(top))

idk how id add it to the image, but there would be another thing that would be breath (detail oriented, individual ppl) and blood (bigger picture, groups of ppl)

fuck Idk how to describe what I'm thinking properly, and that is a frustrating feeling.

uhhh so stuff like mind would be what's there, that you cant change (light+time (+breath)) while heart is what's there that you can change (void+space (+breath)) if that makes sense???

Hope is like stuff that isn't there that you can change (void+space (+blood)) rage would be what's there that you cant change (light+time (+blood))

i think you get it (or maybe you don't, i dunno if i fucked up some where while writing this)

life (space+light (+breath)) and doom (time+void (breath)) blah blah blah, yeahh

figured out how to add blood / breath. close to the inside is small details (breath). outside is big picture (blood)

thats it. thats the theory. /silly

[raylin-creates]

OK between encouraging Xie Lian and Hua Cheng to kiss earlier and now asking one of the questions I've been wondering about for a while now, why does it seem that Pei Ming of all people has become a vessel for the reader?

Someone commented a bit ago when Pei Ming had started encouraging their relationship that that scene had been what finally brought them over to liking him and I have to agree that this arc is doing a lot to soften his character.

Personally I still don't like him (as a person, he's a good character though), but this has pushed him in my mind more towards "pathetic, unaware of himself, with few to no pleasant qualities" rather than "actively malicious, scheming, horrible bastard." Depending on what the story does with him from here on out, I could see myself potentially liking him, whereas before I couldn't have imagined it.

Honestly I have more problems with Pei Xiu than Pei Ming, from the Ban Yue Arc.

I do still think it's ...off-putting? Unusual? Unpleasant? That the narrative seems to have just skipped over and ignored that Pei Xiu actively committed genocide. Like, his punishment seemed to have more to do with the circumstances of how it happened than the genocide itself, and any remorse he shows is more about Banyue taking the full blame than anything else.

I can hope something will happen in the future that more fully explores the full implications of it but as of now there doesn't seem to be any intention of revisiting it. After the real circumstances got explained back in the Ban Yue Arc, the story abandoned what little effort there had been to portray Kemo (the only character from Ban Yue Other than Banyue to recieve significant screen time) as being justified in his rage over what happened.

There's a huge difference in how the narrative is treating the killing off of the Ban Yue kingdom vs the Xianle kingdom. We obviously spend a lot more time learning about Xianle since it has huge significance to the main character, but even accounting for that, there's a huge tonal difference in how they're spoken of by the story.

Is this anything? Like am I losing my mind here? Anyone else wish the story had spent a little more time examining the full consequences of Ban Yue being entirely destroyed?

Not just how it affected characters like Banyue and Pei Xie, but how it affected the actual citizens of Ban Yue, like Kemo's rage and grief? How there were definitely innocents killed, no matter how the story insists the entire kingdom was militaristic and bloodthirsty?

I dunno. Maybe I'm misremembering how bad it was handled, (I hope I am), but I definitely want to revisit that arc and take the time to examine it properly.

Wow I really just spent the better part of half an hour ranting about an arc way back from the beginning of the series instead of reading the current one. Uh, Oops?

[metalobrukht]

The good thing is

that nothing is gonna change cause it's just me staring at the screen and nothing is real and nothing ever happened. End of the day, it's quiet, nothing happened, nothing was real. I write in English and sometimes I think in English because it's not real and you know what I mean. It's not honest. I hope it'll be like this til the end. I hope nothing ever matters. I was scared of death when I was a kid but I was scared of everything. I couldn't sleep. I can now, cause nothing matters, except for waking up and going to work and falling asleep and waking up. I get this feeling, my entire life, that something that shouldn't be here is standing right behind the wall, more real than I am, and now I think, fine. I'm afraid because fear and the thing go together but who in the whole fucking universe gives a shit if I'm afraid to sleep or not.

And if I never think about actual real shit, it's just not there. Nothing that shouldn't get me won't. God will take care -- or won't. I'm a worm with no hands. You know how they're all there after it rains. And then they dry in the sun. Isn't it God who does this?

When the full scale war started we were figuring shit out and standing in the lines to withdraw cash and I couldn't go on social media for a few days. I mean I'm from the central part and we're nowhere fucking near the shit. People hear where I'm from and go "Ah!", you know like if you made a big deal and it turned out to be nothing, and they're right. But those were the most real days in my life. It was like, crisp, the air was cold. Shit mattered that I didn't even know was there. Shit that I perceived as concrete turned out to be wet sludge. And in some way it doesn't feel like a day has passed since then, even though I feel every hour and every minute and my internal clock is always on point, but it's not like. It's not there, it's not for real. I'm not in a real place and these people can't really do anything. Not like actual dissociation, just like, who the fuck are you? Why am I here? Did I actually get here myself? I'm invincible. You can't do shit. Then I open my mouth and it turns out I can't get the sentence out properly cause I didn't do it in ages. God can one shot me if he wants.

And when I open Twitter or AO3 smut or whatever and I'm home. My apartment doesn't feel like home, my actual home doesn't feel like home, at all, but looking at the screen and dissociating does. Going deep into some actually made up unimportant shit and forgetting about anything else. It's what I am. I didn't feel any emotions but angry or horny for idk, about 5 or more years. And there's less and less of it with time. Month of Nothing and going to work. I like the work. I like getting hurt a reasonable amount. I like how it feels when I get sick and everything hurts, or the way I feel right after the headache stops but the numbness is still there. I fucking thought Gollum was hot when I was rewatching LOTR last time. Sometimes Excel spreadsheets turn me on. Those aren't my fucking thoughts I dunno how to explain this, it's not how I would think, it's out of character. The incelship is getting to me fr

[someinstant]

So many, many years ago, when I was twenty and foolish and thought I was immortal, I sprained my ankle very badly hiking with some friends on Spring Break. Being an immortal college student, and also a broke American with a shitty healthcare system, I shrugged it off, wrapped it in a compression bandage for a bit, iced it, and limped around campus for about six weeks while it kinda-sorta healed.

But it turns out that once you do a number on an ankle and don't properly rehab it, you're much more likely to sprain the joint again-- something to do with the tendons stretching and your brain not compensating for the stretch in your balance. I dunno, the doctor explained it to me and it made a lot of sense, but I don't remember the terms she used.

Anyway, I have sprained my ankle a million times since college. I've done the "oh SHIT" slip down the stairs, the "trip over a student's bookbag and land funny" move, the "I swear I was just walking on the sidewalk and there was nothing THERE" sprain-- all of them. So my ankle is pretty shot.

And then about four years ago, I started developing plantar fasciitis-- which is pretty common in teachers, because we spend all day on our feet on hard tiles. The treatment for plantar fasciitis is basically rest-- stay off the inflamed tissues until the irritation goes down, and then do some PT. But that's kind of impossible in my job, so I just... dealt with it. I iced it, rolled out the bottoms of my feet every night, bought hideously expensive and supportive shoes, and when it got so bad I wanted to cry, I'd take some anti-inflammatories and suck it up. Because what else was I going to do? Not teach? It's teaching. Everyone's feet hurt.

But then last April I sprained my ankle really badly taking the trash out, of all things, and it just-- never really got better. I mean, the swelling went down, I had full range of motion, and I was certain it wasn't broken-- I've broken several bones in my life, and am pretty familiar with that sort of pain-- but there was just this lingering, deep pain. But I had things I needed to do, you know? I had the end of the year to get through, graduation duties, and my parents were dead set on a family trip to Scotland. So I sucked it up, took some anti-inflammatories, and pushed through.

But I couldn't walk where I wanted to go on the trip. My mother, who has had two knee replacements, could walk farther and faster than I could. We took a trip to an island one day and I wanted to see the puffins nesting-- was determined to see them, because I love puffins-- and I made myself climb up the cliff face and walk the rough path for two miles, and I saw the damn birds and they were beautiful, but the back of my calf was burning like acid and that night I couldn't stand to let my heel touch the mattress in bed, it was that painful. The next day I could barely walk around the city center without wanting to cry, and all I could think was, "I'm ruining this trip, because I'm slowing everyone down."

So when I came home, I made an appointment with my GP-- not that this is a GP issue, but American insurance being what it is, we jump through the hoops to get a referral to the person who can actually solve the problem. And today I finally had an appointment with the specialist, and--

It is so affirming and such a goddamn relief to have someone take time to listen, and examine, and to then say, "Here is what the problems are, they are REAL problems, and you're not weak for being in pain." At one point she said, "It sounds like your pain is about an eight," and I was like, "Oh, no, absolutely not," because I'd been thinking that an eight on the pain scale was, like, I-am-actively-bleeding-out. But she said, no, if the pain was stopping me from doing things or making me live my life differently than I would if it were more manageable-- that's an eight. And, I don't know, that sort of broke my brain, because I do things like make a list of all the tasks I need to accomplish during my planning period that are going to have me walking around the school, and then I figure out the most efficient route-- all so I don't have to walk as far, because my ankle can't take it.

So then I cried a little, and told her I was glad it wasn't all in my head, and she was very kind and firm and said that no, it absolutely wasn't.

It's my Achilles' tendon, among other things. All the sprains and stresses over the years have made a bunch of micro-tears, and it's inflamed to hell and back. So I'm in an air cast for four weeks and on a course of steroids to just get the inflammation down, and then we'll see about PT. And if that's not helping, then it's time to think about surgery.

I don't know what the moral of the story is, except that there's no virtue in pain, and that when you're twenty and you hurt yourself hiking the AT, you should spend that money on a co-pay to see your doctor instead of those concert tickets, because your forty-one year old self has regrets.

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

**This is my personal version of Donatello. If you want to imagine something else for yourself, you have every rights to do so 💜**

Wanted to note down some bits and pieces of my version of Donatello~

I'm not the best at doing character sheets, lol, but at least there's some info down!

And some more under the cut.

Personality-wise, Donnie can be a bit shy and reserved/careful with his expressions at first when meeting people for the first time. But it doesn't take long for him to come out of his shell (pun intended) and reveal his mellow nature. He likes to seize how a person is at first before getting to entrust them with his true self. He can be quite the wiseass at times, but he'll never push it if he feels someone being uneasy around him. Personally, the best way I can somehow describe his vibe is like one of a skater from the early 2000's (dunno how to explain it - I just see it clearly in my head because I've hung around people like that and I was an amateur skater myself in those years). He's chill, and if you're chill with him, then he's chill with you too.

In friendship, you'll often find him cracking jokes in the smoothest fashion, easily bringing puns along the way. He'll gladly bring others into his projects and get their input - no matter if they know the subject matter or not. It's like a special way of rubberducking for him! He doesn't mind being social, but others also have to understand that he needs his downtime to relax and get his energy back.

In relationship, he's very in tune with his partner's emotions. He can be very attentive and tender with them, savoring every seconds spent in their presence. You want to watch some random videos or a movie? Just say so and he'll make time for you - especially if he's been working on something all day. He just wants to take a break and be with the love of his life. Sure he'll have his little moments where he'll poke fun and be a loveable shit, but in the end he respects his partner so much - he'd give them the moon if he could. His demisexual nature makes it that he'll completely give himself to his partner once he gets to properly connect with them. And once he does, he's unstoppable and his love his infinite. His partner's pleasure comes first, starting off in the most romantic ways - which may build up to something more passionate along the way.

With Vee, he finds an equal in terms of energy levels - being able to be goofy by moments and then wanting to spend time alone, together. He admires her creative mind and believes that she completes him for whatever mindset and vision he lacks. Donnie's not afraid to reveal his true nature to her; his emotions and weaknesses. Together they are a team and communication is their golden ruler.

He'll never admit it to his brothers, but being in a relationship brought Donnie to listen to romantic music artists (ex: Bobby Caldwell, Barry Manilow, any kind of jazz ballad artists) and watch romantic movies (especially with Vee). Not that he's ashamed of it, but mostly because it's something only for him and Vee to enjoy. It's their little space and bubble of joy, where they can connect through the conveyed emotions and deepen their affection.

He's also very cheesy and will give her 574843284623 nicknames. Amongst them:

Babylove (started calling her that because she calls him sometimes "bébé d'amour" - french roughly for "baby of love"). That's his personal favorite.

Baby

Love

Little lady

Honey

Love of my life

Chérie (he's trying his best)

My peach (mostly 'cause of her butt 🤫🍑)

Overall, while Donatello remains a true nerd at heart, he remains very confident in his abilities and skills (technical and social). Once you gain his trust, you can confide in him without any fear and he'll always be there for those that matters most. Time only strengthened his wise nature and as long as you let him live his best life, he'll let you live yours - may you never hurt anyone, that is.

He's just the best :] 💜

[pan-magi]

*posts random rukh thoughts over a month late b/c I forgot about it*

Are the rukh an actual light source? The things my mind gets stuck on repeatedly while working on shit.

The answer would appear to be yes. This is shown when there is enough gathered at one place, usually in a relation with one of the magi using enough magic and producing magoi at a rate to be visible to everyone who can't usually see them. With the exception of Judar, but I'll get to black rukh in a minute. This is usually conveyed through light even if the surroundings are dim. The first time Aladdin is seen really going off is one such occurrence.

I keep thinking to myself. How does rukh produce light when magi using magic isn't involved? Do magicians constantly see hundreds, thousands, of light sources no one else can see? Or is the light so minimal it doesn't make a difference? I like to know what light sources I'm dealing with.

The closest we get for this is with Baba. She sees the world directly through rukh; it is her source of sight. Though tbf, the anime doesn't really touch on her being blind outside of her interaction with rukh. The manga is only a little clearer. Point being, light source or not, it is a way to see and experience the world.

Does that mean that it acts as a sort of passive night vision outside of Baba? Who knows. The one time I can think of an example is that while exploring the fifth district there isn't much light shown outside of some lanterns and dim lights, but Aladdin, Titus and Sphintus don't seem to have much trouble. Meanwhile, Marga and the rest of the citizens there are used to the level of light and don't work really as a control group. So I dunno.

The other conclusion is that it's not the rukh that produce the light. It comes from the magoi that they produce. When Judar explains the magic system to Aladdin (imo, a condescending smartass doing an exposition dump is a surprisingly effective way to deliver information to the audience in a quick manner), he produces magoi to deliver his point. It acts as a bright beacon that everyone reacts to and sees, especially when Judar starts attacking people with it.

I don't really have concluding thoughts on this. It's more of a ramble dump. Good place as any to switch to talk about black rukh.

I kinda dislike in the anime that black rukh is also shown to produce light. A dim purple light typically, but a light nonetheless. One of the reasons I think of to why is so that each is distinguishable in a way. That a mass of black rukh isn't shown to be a massive black blob and nothing else.

(left about normal, right darkened slightly to show point of black blob)

It isn't how I ever imagined them to be though.

I'll end this on a headcanon of mine. I always thought it made more sense for the black rukh to absorb light or at the very least cast a massive shadow. The first impression Aladdin gets from seeing Judar is describing him like a black sun. What would be the cause for someone to come to that conclusion? Mine was that the overwhelming amount of black rukh from Judar would be a blot of darkness until Aladdin can focus on him properly. If it is only dozens of black birds surrounding the guy the description will be less extreme.

An eclipse (what I can attribute to being like a black sun, outside of blackhole) doesn't just cast ordinary shadows. It is putting out the main light source of the planet. It isn't a cloudy day, a storm, or night time during a new moon: the closest other comparison. The darkness of an eclipse hits different. Plus, when Aladdin gets memories about the fall of Alma Tran the sun there looks like it is permanently eclipsed. That's the quickest shorthand to show that it is nothing but darkness all the time.

Anyway, that is how I see Judar and the black rukh in general. They are opposites and out of spite literally and metaphorically counteracts the light from the white rukh.

Yup, no closing thoughts. Thanks for reading this word vomit if you did!

[mayisgoingnuts]

Uhm… I’m going to bed, but I’ll probably be in school when you read this 🤷‍♂️

ANYWAYS HAVE FUN😈😈

The first one to wake up was Roy, or so he thought. Rai was gone, he didn’t have a clue where she went, she was asleep in Elaine's arms. So it was odd she left a comfortable position. He slowly managed to get out of his friend's grasp and get off the couch. He heard something knock over in another room, Rais' bedroom. He very slowly went into the hallway and walked down to her room. He stood in front of the door for a moment before knocking. After a minute she slowly opened the door. She looked terrified, she was shaking and crying. She ended up backing away from him, which confused him even more. “Are you okay..? You’re being really weird..” His tone was laced with sarcasm. He didn’t mean it though, and she knew that. She slowly shook her head at the question. “Why aren’t you talking? You love to.” He rolled his eyes, she didn’t answer. She sort of just stared, he was beginning to get a little creeped out. “You…please you need to understand…the demon..it..it feels like it’s still there..doesn’t it..?” She put a hand on her chest, he wanted to lie, but didn’t. He nodded slowly in agreement to the question. “But that would be weird..I mean, it’s not like he was walking around during that-” He was cut off when she grabbed his shoulders. “That isn’t what I mean! It- I- I can’t explain it- but please! Understand me- you have too!” She was shaking him. She didn’t mean to, but she was terrified, he understood that all too well. He stood there for a moment, thinking about what he should do. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed her back, she was scared for a moment until she realized he just wanted her to sit down. So she sat down on her bed, she stared at him while waiting for him to say something. She jumped when he sat next to her and held his hands up. He put his hands on her shoulders and stared her in the eyes. “You need to breathe. Like..i dunno your band stuff. What’s the slowest song you play?” He asked, she thought for a moment. “The…the ballad..it..” He shushed her, putting a hand over her mouth. “Okay, now the..tempo? Is that right?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer. “Okay, uhm..get the..tempo in your head and breathe at that pace. What is it uhm..” He mumbled to himself. “Counts? Okay, four counts in, hold four counts, then breathe out for counts.” She nodded and did as told, only the counts were much slower than he thought, so he had to correct her and tell her two counts. After a minute she was breathing properly, but she was still terrified. “Alright, now can you explain what you mean?” His sarcasm was still very apparent, but she knew that was just him. “It..I can’t tell if what i'm doing is because of that..thing or if it’s because of myself. I don’t- do you ever-” She sighed, not being able to get the words right. “Do..you ever feel like you’re a bad person?” She didn’t look at him, but she knew how he felt about that. He agreed with her. “I..I guess I do..sometimes..so yeah.” He was surprised she felt that way. The only reason he’s surprised is because she doesn’t do bad things. Even if she does, she apologizes or feels incredibly guilty about it. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Rai spoke up. “..You can talk about it with me. I won’t judge, and I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” “You promise me Railyn?” “Promise you Reynold.”

Uhm.. yeah👍👍 I was liked writing this lmao, I hoped I didn’t mischaracterize him..

•🍂

I admit I've read this and THEN went to sleep

OUGH,,/pos

[whencallstheheart]

I've finally given up on Netflix up-dating WCTH (UK) and am watching it by other means. Now currently working my way through S10, and I definitely still ship Nathan/Elizabeth, and wish they'd gotten together, but I've also liked seeing Lucas/Elizabeth, and I love the way he is with Jack. I've also really liked seeing Nathan and Elizabeth as friends.

But seeing about this FB post about Elizabeth possibly having second thoughts, and even though I do now ship Lucas/Elizabeth. I'm still hoping for Nathan/Elizabeth. I still feel like he's the better choice for her. I have nothing against Lucas and I'm pretty sure I was completely against the idea of them two at the beginning, but he's grown on me more and more, and I do love seeing them together. But I just feel that he maybe wants more than she does, I dunno, I don't think I'm explaining myself properly. And that's totally okay if he does.

Perhaps Lucas is the safe option maybe, I dunno, I'm not saying there aren't feelings there.

Apologies for the long rambling message, and I know that there's no guarantee that she would go to Nathan, and that they'd get together, but I'm still hoping. But it's given me more hope, I just hope they don't have a long drawn out love triangle again, I don't think I could go through that, and I don't want Nathan's hopes to be raised again only for them to be dashed again.

I'm still planning to write a Nathan/OFC fic though, completely self indulgent. And now I'm going to go, because this is longer than I anticipated.

That's definitely my complaint with Lucas now. I've never liked the guy but I accepted that she picked him and it's fine. I don't enjoy them together but whatever. I just don't pay much attention to them. But this season has been like episode after episode of Lucas and Elizabeth not on the same page about pretty basic things. He wants a huge house. She wants to stay in the row houses. He wants these big lavish things and Elizabeth just wants simplicity. Now he's running for office. I cannot see her wanting that life for her and Jack at all. She's going to support him, of course, but what does that mean for their future?

I do think Lucas was the safe choice. She knew what she was getting with him. She wasn't scared he was going to die. He'd give her a good life, no doubt about it. I fully believe that she loves him... but that doesn't mean they're suited for each other long-term. Maybe they've grown apart. Or maybe Elizabeth is just dealing with some stuff and will end up marrying Lucas and all will be fine. It all feels up in the air right now and I don't know which way it will go. As frustrating as it is, it's almost refreshing to feel like we can't predict the show right now.

If she does decide to end her engagement and pursue something with Nathan, they're going to have to take things slow. She has some groveling to do. I would hope Nathan wouldn't immediately jump into something with her. She needs to prove that he's the one. It wasn't easy for him to watch her with Lucas. It wasn't easy to hear that she saw Jack in him and essentially wrote him off because of that. They would need to basically start over.

[freyito]

im not sure if this means anything but you have some of the best takes and views of johnny and kenshi ive seen, like, ever!! i really admire your work and the way you write about them i can tell you really love them (and mk in general.) I think you capture every character BEAUTIFULLY!!

oh !!! oh anon !! i'm like freaking out and crying lowkey !! thank you oughhhhhh my heart. i'm. i'm a writer, as stated in my about me i'm writing a book. so, a lot of what i've ever written is completely my own characters, my own dynamics. cause i made these characters so its so easy to write them !! but for like two years i've been writing such self indulgent fics in my notes app for me only. i always thought about making a blog to write x readers and stuff but. i'm so afraid to get other characters wrong with my writing. so i'm like super glad people think i'm good at writing other characters, like im really surprised !!

and. i really do love all the mk characters, its a comfort game to me as much as it's like all gorey and stuff loooool. but i mentioned before it was one of the few outlets i got to spend time with my dad as a kid, and unfortunately i didnt really keep up with the games until mk1 dropped. and then my dad got it again and it rekindled my love for it and like. all this stuff. caught myself up on the lore, real quick.

johnny & kenshi specifically are just comfort characters of mine. like i really really dont have many, and imma be honest, i never really headcannoned any characters or anything out of the ones i have (armin, nier, aki hayakawa, and power). i just kinda set them as they were cause like. i dunno. brought comfort. but with johnny and kenshi. damn. it's a different level. i dont see a lot of myself in many characters, i think nier specifically was the first character i resonated so hard with. but i really enjoy studying characters (and media, i mean. im a writer lol.) and I just noticed sooooo much about these two, separate and together. and projecting a little has definitely helped with my writing as well, if that makes sense? like they r so hot but also i see a lot of myself in them and i think that's wonderful. even if it isn't canon or stated or anything, i genuinely enjoy being able to be like "hey these guys are kinda like me lol". i'll admit im never the best at explaining stuff, especially with those headcanons, i really hope they didnt sound like super duper edgy. it's just pulling from my own experience and thoughts and feelings.

i've had a lot of turning points in my writing, like certain media has definitely effected me as a writer of course. my biggest influence and motivation is Drakengard and Nier, by Yoko Taro. His writing is just so intricate and interesting and so damn deep, it's really beautiful. With Mortal Kombat, it's definitely been a big influence over me, as well. Unfortunately, not in the way Yoko Taro's works have effected me, but it's definitely helped me shape and write and process certain characters properly. Especially observing, I think analyzing MKs characters is really what helped me.