#cw: pain

[crowbone]

I swear to everything holy that wound vac maintenance is the absolute worst part of this entire hospital ordeal. I can’t fucking believe how awful it is to have raw nerve endings that foam gets peeled away from. I’m dreading this at home. They’re giving me norco for some relief but I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the pain.

[thisfibrolife]

It's weird navigating new mystery health issues on top of pre-existing chronic health issues. Weird in the sense that I didn't even realize I had a new health issue until I ended up in the ER in the early hours of the morning with abdominal pain so bad that it took two doses of morphine to make the pain subside.

That was, like, two months ago. I'd been meaning to make an appointment with my doctor, but I'd been dragging my feet for a few reasons, not least of which was that voice in the back of my mind that says the doctor is going to dismiss my pain, the doctor is going to diagnose me as fat. But it flared up again a couple days ago and, while it's not as bad as it was in May, it's painful enough that I've spent all day trying to get through to the doctor's office to make an appointment. Of course, when I actually try, all the office phone does is ring.

[eyeroll emoji]

The weirdest part is that, thinking back, I can trace my symptoms back around three years, to a trip to urgent care I took back in 2020. At the time I thought it was back pain radiating to the abdomen, but now I realize that it was abdomen pain radiating around to the back. The nausea and diarrhea have also been going on for a long time--I generally dismiss those symptoms because I'm always nauseous or intestinally compromised, that's just the fibromyalgia for you. Plus, I'm in my forties, back pain is basically a middle-age rite of passage.

I'm constantly telling myself to ignore what my body is telling me just so I can get through the day. Guess I should've been listening a little more closely.

Bodies are strange and frustrating, and they only get stranger the longer you survive.

[kayzig]

It sort of figures that I'm having a bad pain flare up, after a week and a half where I did push myself kind of harder to draw.

I'm learning my limits not only for my shoulder tendon/etc issue, but going into a stretch where I have a bunch of other "I'm in my Advanced Mid 30's" problems coming on.

I have insurance, so at least I won't be financially put out by any of this, but I do kinda hope once I have more answers, I can somehow get any procedures/etc done in the same stretch of time and then just nap it all away at once.

[the-bar-sinister]

It's a high pain day, and also every single stimulus is frustrating and annoying. Started the day with crying :c

[micahfae]

I am in so much fucking agony and I can’t take panadol because it’s all in my mouth and I don’t have liquidd…

[chadepitanga]

there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.

[gallusrostromegalus]

In the latest installment of me Terrorizing Medical Professionals, I got my Wisdom Teeth extracted because one decided to be an asshole and the other 3 were pending assholery, and demonstrated to my dentist that it's entirely possible to out-metabolize Ketamine if you start moving ASAP and also have a freakishly powerful liver.

So yesterday I had my one-month Checkup. It went pretty great, and the dentist asked if any part of my mouth was bothering me.

"Yeah, there's a sharp bit of bone coming out through the side from the extraction in my lower right jaw. The bone spur itself doesn't hurt, but it keeps cutting my tongue, so can you just pull it?" "Oh. Sure! Let me go get everything to do that." she said, and went to go get the tools for the extraction.

...Then there was some kind of confusion at the front desk I could overhear, with someone showing up with an urgent problem and they had to juggle the available staff, so she came back a bit later with the Pliers, said something about something taking "long enough" and went in.

It came out in two pieces, and the most discomfort I had was like, a 3/10 from the extraction itself, but mostly from keeping my mouth open.

...About halfway through, the Hygienist came in, apologizing for being late getting back from the front desk.

"Oh good, you have her the Novocaine!" the hygienist sighs with relief.

"What?" Said my dentist.

"What?" said the hygienist.

Both of them turn to look at the very full syringe on the tool table behind me.

"Honestly this is bothering me way less than the shot would." I said, lightly dribbling blood, and they both turn to me in horror.

"I really hate needles." I explain.

"What." says the dentist.

"Woah." Says the hygienist. "You would have done great in like, The Civil War."

Which is probably the funniest thing anyone's every said about my dangerously high pain tolerance.

Anyway, it was a one-off issue, and a non-issue for me because I think a normal person would have stopped her, so I go back in August if she doesn't recommend me to someone else for terrifying her twice in as many visits.

[thegreendiamondart]

I have a bit more progress than this but im cooking up a lil something

[raphaerolo]

Get this man medical attention and a hug

[guardianspirits13]

Rest in Peace to the Dead Boy Detectives 💙❤️

(Still images below the cut)

also @netflix your kneecaps are MINE unless you bring back my boys >:(

[crowbone]

I am still in the hospital. This is to be expected when your gallbladder explodes and has to be removed the hard way.

That said, I’m on the rehab floor with an expected 7-8 days of rehab work left. Basically have four hours of rehab— both Physical and Occupational Therapy— per day. It tuckers me right out, I tell you what.

The best part is that I no longer seem to be having any more delusions at night.

I am still feeling extremely positive about leaving here during the expected date range.

I’m also extremely lucky to have encountered so many wonderful people helping me convalesce.

[esper-atus]

is that all they can do—die? (more isat x rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead)

[pile-of-skulls]

I know puppy I know it hurts, you can take it though. No no no don't cry baby boy I've got you, just lay there and take it. That's it, I know, you're so good for me, you can be such a good mutt for me can't you? Let me hear you whimper, puppy.

[title]

Do you ever feel like you're narrating your own life, watching it play in front of you like an episode of television?

Brigette Lundy-Paine as Maddy I Saw the TV Glow (2024), directed by Jane Schoenbrun

[creek-ink]

did some ugly crying expression practice with toby angst

-

trying to experiment w my style, its getting boringgg

[lorelxlz]

tw // eye pulling and mild body horror

not quite human anymore