#dun mind me haha

[sometimesanequine]

[arseholism]

[ Wow, you're seriously going to attempt reading about me?? Alright then, before we begin this long and tiresome charade, let's go over the basic information you NEED to know and understand.. ] [ NO! i do not want to subscribe to your OF] [ I don't "want" you. I don't "need" you. I don't want to "come see you". ] [ Please for the love of whatever you love most, do not bother telling me this post offended you]

[ Aw you look beautiful when you’re smiling! Love those shoes too ;) ]

[ Alright, get comfortable my darling ] [ I love people, i just don't find many interesting. So technically, the law of averages works against you.] [ You might be awesome.. please, feel welcome to change my mind ] [ Okay, Lets go. ] [ My name is Arias ]

[ You pronounced that wrong! ] [ I like coffee ] [ I like people. I wouldn't be able to live without people.] [ I love talking ] [ You don't know me ] [ You probably wouldn't understand me even if you did ] [ I'm From London ] [ I also live in Los Angeles, Sydney and New york ] [ Because i can ] [ I travel a lot ] [ I'm 6'3 ] [ I like short girls ] [ Not midgets. Short girls ] [ My dad's white, my mum's spanish .. Incase you wondered ]

[ I love American accents! They’re so fucking cute!! ]

[ I'm English ] [ Yes i have an accent, it's london with a hint of sydney] [ I like it.. ] [ No you probably will never hear it ] [ I've played Piano, Guitar and Violin since i was 4 ] [ I write lyrics and music when i'm bored ] [ No i will not write you a song ] [ Yes i can sing ] [ No i will not sing for you ] [ I love to cook ]

[ No i will not cook for you ] [ I'm blunt so i can be an arsehole ] [ I'm quite nice in general ] [ I'm passive, i really don't give a fuck ] [ Unless i care.. then I absolutely give a fuck ] [ I won't suck up just so you like me ] [ I do what I want ] [ I do not like cameras, in case you’re wondering why my page isn’t littered with selfies ] [ No i will not be your trick monkey ] [ or your human puppet ] [ enough. ] [ Make me smile, make me laugh, i'll get addicted to you ] [ I'm a cuddle whore ] [ I'm attracted to pretty faces and beautiful smiles ] [ I'm a dreamer ] [ I love to plan dreamy dates and sensational moments] [ I have sleep issues. I like my issues ] [ I love to read ] [ I think you're spiffy because you're still reading this ] [ I'm bored right now, so i may NEVER stop. ] [ I LOVE to cook. I even bake my own bread haha ] [ If you tak lyke dis, dun fuhkin tak 2 me mkay? ] [ Right. got that off my chest ] [ I swim, i run, i eat unhealthy, my body is so confused, but it's pretty to look at? ] [ I love music, i have way too much music for one guy ] [ I love kids, i have 3 god children and they rock my world ] [ I'm opinionated and judgemental, however, i will listen to your opinion and i will listen to your side of the story] [ I'm hopelessly romantic ] [ I'm very very very picky ] [ No. I'm not looking for anything or anyone ] [ Romance.. is so misunderstood ] [ I'm broken ] [ No. You can't fix me ] [ Wow. I didn't stop. You didn't stop. We're still here and we're meant to be *gushes* haha ] [ I'll probably adopt. ] [ I'm always bored ] [ I like conversation ] [ I love to read ] [ I don't like pictures, i figure that if there is something beautiful enough, it'll burn into my memory ] [ I however, do not want you to hit on me ] [ I can be very perverted ] [ No, this does not imply i want to talk dirty ] [ Or.. that i want you to talk dirty ] [ Please try not to be too creepy.. PRETTY PLEASE? ] [ I'm also very moralistic ] [ I love my imagnation ] [ I have a major oral fetish ] [ Do we have things in common? ] [ No, You could probably never be my dream girl ] [ I have never had a one night stand ] [ Yes, i'm very picky and fucking frustrating ] [ Are you Captain Entertainment? Sent to rescue me from the trescherous depths of boredom? ] [ Didn't think so.. ] [ I love cookies, they make me happy ] [ I love cold miserable rainy weather ] [ I'm cheeky ] [ I'm complicated ]

[ I'm curious ]

[ Did the brackets annoy you? ]

[ Stupid word count ]

[ Go on.. Judge me! ]

[ Message me if you still want more ]

[milgramimaginesblog]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Muu Kusonoki, "Drowning in honey (love)", Confession HCs + mini scenario!

Synopsis: Confession HCs with Muu Kusonoki Word Count: Genre: Fluff Reader: GN (no pronouns mentioned), both Muu and Reader aren't in MILGRAM Spoilers/Warnings?: Muu being a bit OOC

A/n: THIS WAS SO RUSHED 🫠 and ended on a cliffhanger..? HAHA ENJOY..

It all happened when you both were sitting together on the train stop, minding your own business at the time until she spoke up ⎯ asking what you were doing on your phone, curiously trying to take a peak over your shoulder.

'Such an odd girl' you thought, who you paid no mind to... But with how insist she was as she bats her eyelashes for your attention, you eventually gave in to her needs.

And that was basically your first meeting with her. You both didn't go to the same school but had the same stops to go on and off of.

A weird coincidence if you were being honest but she was a nice girl to talk to and rant your day about.

Muu was her name and she certainly had her looks too, which made you wonder if there's a chance she had a boyfriend or not? It wouldn't be a surprise if she did but there was a lingering sting in your chest when you kept thinking about it.

The pain growing more when you suddenly felt more attached to the girl who leaves in the opposite direction from you after you get off your stops.

The pain of not being near her...

"Y/n...?" Her voice blew gently into your left ear, snapping you out of your thoughts and worries to look at her with perplexed expression ⎯ seeing her frown deeper at your reaction to her.

"You haven't been listening, have you? So mean~"

"Oh sorry I was just..." You go silent, unsure of what excuses to make after getting caught. But it seems like Muu didn't mind ⎯ changing or continuing the topic she was talking to you about. You were lucky she was more lenient towards you, or at the very least didn't care.

There it was though, the final stop where you both had to get get off and go your separate ways.

While walking you couldn't help but slow your movements than usually. Thinking over what you thought about during the train, the pain in your chest starts swelling again ⎯ 'Why? Why does it hurt?'

Just as you glance behind you, thinking you'd see Muu already so far away from where you both parted ways, you suddenly see her in front of you...? Blinking back at you confused like she caught you when it was totally the opposite??

"Muu?"

"Hmm? Ah Y/n what a surprise that we're walking in the same direction!"

"Hold on don't go changing stuff up⎯ just what are you doing here?!"

Turns out this was her way of catching you off guard, but also something she was talking to you about during the train ride...

If only you had paid enough attention to her to what she was saying.

As you guys were walking together, her still frustrated and pouty about you not listening to her back then, the thought from earlier crossed your mind again.

"Hey, Muu?" "Mhm?~" "What do you think of me?" "I like you." "I'm serious Muu⎯" "But I am too?"

(DUN DUN DUN)

[stay-midnight]

hello hi hiii ! 💕

. . . 🎙

well-reply whenever to ask the askss, i really don't mind hehe (admittedly its a hot second to type it out but mostly cause its thoughts trying to be coherent in a way hehe-) 💕

anyways yeah- seungmin being in tamer settings but because of his sir/master vibes it turns into like, not tame? HAHA-and god that would be hot 😭 afterwards its him making you suck his cock under the cold water (the water would make it harder to breathe while gagging on his cock and seungmin would grin at that-😶)

and as said....thoughts on perv, college au Jisung as bestfriend and roommate ahhhh 😳🤧 YES- he'd enjoy you shying away from his advances, (the power he'd feel from that-) so much, one of his specialties could also be corruption- he enjoys the feeling of reader turning into his slut-ahem i mean being so submissive for him-and making you be just as perverted as he is 😈😭 (ALSO YEAH-Perv Jisung is the Best Jisung trope, he just fits it so much that its unreal 😩💓)

he'd be so touchy-hands on your butt, your pecs, your thighs and your bulge- would be shameless enough to dry hump/grind his crotch on you, and he'd crave the embarrassed look on your face as you try your best not to react (which is useless cause again, he knows-) constant flirting as well, calling you baby or jagi all the time, likes you romantically as well ofc, he just can't help be a perv 🤐 and hey, he wanted to let you know how feels somehow-ahem- (constant outta pocket sentences too, "i'd fuck you over this desk" jisung would say the second you two sit down at a library-)

would also pretend he's thrusting up into you if you're sitting on his lap and the room is empty 😭 you'd think he'd do a fake exaggerated moan but his low groans and whispers of you being so good for him is making your head go 😵

And when perv jisung eventually turns into perv boyfriend? If he was horny for you before, just jerking off or being a perv, congratulations, you're also getting fucked every day no questions asked 😭😩 (i imagine him becoming your boyfriend started out as him inviting you to his room and then him immediately making you get on your knees, making you confess all of your own perverted thoughts and the more heartwarming feelings cause he was fed up with the oblivious act, before proceeding to fuck you for hours until both of you pass out-needy perv ji.)

he'd be making all of his fantasies come through too-the exhibitionist that he is-sex at the library, a public bathroom stall, at the gym locker room, sitting on his face-my god. (and uh, just to put it out there, jisung watches anime, so i fully believe that jisung making you wear a maid dress and doing a whole master and servant act is....happening-i mean, not impossible-)

and since you said he'd be into threesomes, whelp-one night he invites minho to your dorm room, its all been talked out and both have your consent so there's no hesitation when jisung gets you on your knees with his hand gripping your hair tight, making you open your mouth wide as minho has his way with you 😭 (sungie would def like the thought of his friends playing with you-) also exhibitionist jisung 🤝 voyeur minho

Still though, he'd be possessive over you, just cause he's sharing does not mean they get to have you the way he does. gag on his friends boxers, cock, get fucked, spitroasted, dp'd or whatever happens between him and who he shares you with, he's gonna fuck you again by himself to remind you that in the end, its you and him and only him.

that's it for noww hehe, self control yarn, perv skz thoughts are-ehem, anywayss 😊💞🍀

dun dun dun its me again at 3 am in midnight

...

imma keep them for archive hehe but idk if i can reply to those ask after trying cuz i feel like we got to the endpoint of those thoughts(?) cuz snowswept tails kinda had the fox and human roaming around for shelter, and the other fics too like d.a kind of ended after the orgy- so i my brain just blanked out on those-

But to the thoughts! After the shower shenanigans with prisoner seungmin i feel like the reader would get a bit bratty (yes third person now cuz like its hard to write in second person for this thoughts) I can see Seungmin slam choking reader against the wall and before sneaks a hand down your shorts - grabbing your throbbing cock— before degrading you and saying something like "Be wary of your words, pup- act like shit again and I'd leave you to fend for yourself and im not as kind as the other inmates" oh and A police officer witnessing all this?!(lets pretend that jeongin is the police officer here huehue hes like a police officer in training/criminology student🫣)

PERV JISUNG >>>> those vids of him on tiktok i keep seeing got me feeling some typa way like those arms can crush me but anyways I feel like the best trope for perv sung is Pervert x Oblivious Idiot— Like reader literally just thinking how thats just a friendly joke by good ol sungie despite him saying some shit like "nice pants, but id think you be better off without it-" the point of the matter is he would definitely be over possessive over reader before the whole relationship cuz he doesnt like other people flirting with you except him but AFTER a soldified relationship and him fucking you like a lion in heat until dawn he'd so be down to try threesomes (with his trusty bff leeno) so one night he sat you down you agreed in respect to your boyfriends kink and ofc the fact the minho is hot- ALSO during the threesome with minho- minho would be so teasing with sungie competitively like "Bet you cant make them choke like this can you?" as Minho thrusts into your throat with his big c- but the threesome turns into competition real quick like "Fuck you, Minho- he's mine" Jisung would say while glaring at the older as he pulls you back into his cock like sjzjsndn exhibitionist Jisung as well best place to fuck for him is definitely the janitors closet or hear me out in a frathouse while all the other fratboys are out (felix serving those sus cookies) but yeah Perv Jisung would be so touchy in public like expect him to slide a hand to your backpocket while walking or pull you by the waist hueheue (i added all the thoughts in one paragraph cuz-)

thank you anonnie for feeding me with the thots 😍

[cidthesquid]

A walk on the 'Wild Side' - Final Fantasy XIV

So that picture pretty much explains it, But feel free to read the rest of the post for my mindset behind this design, and change. In short, I really enjoy FF:XIV, and have a ton of alternate (side) characters, each with their own personality and style sense.

This was how they looked originally, my 4th character, A female Roegadyn, this was before I had access to Veria, and I wanted to create a taller character that still felt fun!

It's a little embarrassing to think back on now, but I remember one of the core ideas was to capture that "Warrior Princess" energy from like 90's era sci-fi and fantasy. The intense, yet slightly flirty super strong woman who could totally kick the main character's butt, and is just along for the ride.

(Yeah, like I said, kinda embarrassing, lol.) After about a year or so, I switch to Highlander:

I thought it offered the 'buff' look of Roegadyn, but with better expressions and emotes. (some Roegadyn emotes look a little goofy) And I love some of the intensity you can get out of some expressions

(Please don't read this as "Some body types look better than others" This is purely based on the games fixed racial animations/expression) I had a lot of dun designing for her, previously I'd only worked with more 'formal' 'cute', and even 'cool' designs for my other characters, so it was fun to branch out and try more 'intense' designs!

I learned a lot while working on this new design, and a bit of my design philosophy for making characters and outfits has shifted. I also think my shot composition has improved a lot since then, I use waaay less intense filters, and I think my new outfit designs actually look a bit better. But I think it's time for a new challenge, with the release of dawntrail, we now have a new character design to try, Female Hrothgar!

So this new design was really tough for me, Unlike the other races I've tried to design for the 'face' choice is way more important this time around, as hairstyle and other very features are locked to it. Also, the 'Hair color' effects your character's shoulder fur too. So hilights can look a little weird at times:

I was a little mixed on the eye color options, as that also works differently than other races. And then you have to worry about compatibility of hats. It was a little frustrating, but overall I'm pretty happy with the result.

I love that Female Hrothgar, has some of the intensity of highlander, with a more dynamic model like Roegadyn. It's a really fun character style to work with, and even with the more intense style and demeanor, there's still an inherent softness to some poses and expressions. So I can't wait to design more! (Next outfit is a dancer glam, it's non-modd, but slightly suggestive) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's pretty interesting to see how the same outfit can look fairly different depending on the race. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anyways, that's all for today, I don't know what the point of this tread was supposed to be, haha. I just like making character and outfits, and instead of just sharing screenshots, I wanted to talk about my why I made some changes, and what I was going for. Hopefully that came through in the text, writing this was a bit awkward, as I can think of hundreds of ways this could be misinterpreted. Yeah, I'm a guy who enjoys designing and dressing up female characters in the game, but I'm trying to be mindful about how I do it, and I've actually found it's actually quite fun to actually learn 'why' something looks nice, and experimenting with different styles. But I'm going to try to not over think it, I genuinely don't think this is one 'best look' in game or out, just various forms of self-expression. if you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask! I'm open to suggestions and critique as well, just keep in mind I'm still learning!

[alfiely-art]

Act 5 act 1 is done ! Thank goodness. This took me a couple days so some notes may be outdated (ie: karkat birthday)

Also I finished this last night but. Yk.

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act four reaction here

Notes:

NOOOOO JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD FUCKKKK 

Did Jake write this

Hrrrrngggg this is so. Jade just wanted to hang out with him :( 

Man give the kid some time to cry his friend's dream self is dead!!!

I. Okay. Grieve how you need to grandpa. That makes me so uncomfortable but it's okay 

Oh Morse code. I'm not whipping out the decoder sorry I'm distraught over Jade. I'll download the Pic and translate later 

Hussie idgaf about your recap. What the fuck is happening I thought this was act 5 a few pages ago. Are we NOW At act 5???

Is this trollian

Yaaaaay alternia I've heard of this one. Looks kinda dead though

Yaaaay Karkat birthday. Apparently his bday was yesterday irl!!!!

Emooooo lmaooooo

Troll Sander. Oh Karkat. You and John can and should be besties forever. Kiss now /j

BAHAHAA IVE SEEN THIS PANEL BEFORE. I REFERENCED IT WHEN I DROPPED MY MATH BOOK AND IT MADE A DENT IN THE FLOOR. “I'm karkat-ing it up” I SAID. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME

“You were meant to be a bigshot” HAHA SPAMPTOB!!!! Nows ur chance to be a big shot, be a big, be a big, be a big shot 

Omg is this gamzee. Or some other purple guy 

Faygo mention!

AHA YES it's gamzee!!! I know because :o)

Oh gamzee <3 Silly guy. Sure hope he doesn't do anything horrible and violent later (i know a bit of what he does. lord english <333)

The juggalos….

NEPETA AND EQUIUS USERNAMES SPOTTED!!! oh yeah karkats doing stuff. That is what I am supposed to be focusing on

Karkat you're such a drama queen oh my godddd

Terezi you're so cute 

Wait I wanna know the password thing…

CAN WE PLEASE GET TEREZI INTO ACE ATTORNEY. THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER 

That's less cute actually why are you hanging your stuffies. Oh well. Girls can have hobbies I don't mind

YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA

Adorabloodthirsty!!!

Oooo this is Aradia right

That's Eridan methinks

No strife….

This is kinda moving fast ? I mean I don't mind but also I liked the slowness of the previous acts. Oh well. Maybe it's cuz we gotta introduce more characters rn

Sollux!!! I have been told he is not an Eridan lover. Oopsie. The fandom lied to me

HI NEPETA

Aradia what are you doing 

Hey. Is this code how Lord English us born. Isn't it

Oh hi girl! I don't know your name but I've seen you!!! 

Hi tavros! I didn't know you were in a wheelchair. Why do I never see art of you in a wheelchair. All your art is of you smooching gamzee.

HAH REFERENCE… alien reference…

Equius is just Standing There.

ALSO I DONT THINK THATS THE PROPER PROCEDURE TO GIVE SOMEONE PROSTHETIC LEGS

Is that Vriska

Aww… shitty rap offs <333

Ohh yess your name is Aradia!

BAHAH OUIJA BOARD 

Vriska it's you ! I will finally know who you are other than Nagito's daughter. Yippee hurray

Woah baby boy calm down what's in that honey that's making you blast lasers out of your eyeballs

HI SILLY CAT GIRL

OH MY GODDD. The cave in… : (

Autistic girls in caves ftw!!!!

Meowrails… nepeta bite him now 

Team scourge?!?!?! Like warrior cats?@?!?@?@ i never read warrior cats I just know scourge 

Slur count: 13

Vriska what the fuck are you doing

OH MY GOD VRISKA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Karkat bite her. Vriska that is unhealthy for you to do you cannot control others 

HI EQUIUS what uh. What's that stuff in your horse paintings. Equius. Boy. Theyre public everyone can see them

Oh the girl!! Fish girl!!!! uhh.. f… Ferrari. No wait Guy Ferrari is in this. F something

Me too Nepeta. Me too. Idk what's happening I'm just here for jokes and references and Hal when he shows up

DUN DUN DUN!!!! 

Ribbit

Be the huge bitch

Bitch autocorrected to bitcoin. Phone you will perish in a day

Oh. You gotta feed your parent other kids… not great 

Slur count: 14

Holy shit dude I can't read this

Anyway EQUIUS TIME!!!

Lusus Milk. Ummm. Did he milk himself 

Equius never play video games you'd get so much gamer rage

Yaaaay Equius and Gamzee are chatting!!!

Gamzee why are you so cute. I know you do silly things later!!!!

Awww is he talking about Aradia. Buddy just forget the troll racism 

HAH. Yeah that's fair Equius I'd slap someone who was trying to read my mind. Although can he just. Do that any time?

Yaaaay Aradia bot!!!

Equius kill yourself now /j you're so fucking weird. Can your lusus curb your weirdness a little 

JELP EQUIUS YOU KILLED HER LUSUS

NOOOO AURTHOUR!!!!!!

Okay I kinda like the drama Terezi and Vriska are having. they're both kinda bitchy and conniving but Terezi seems to have good intentions. And vriska. Uh. Spooder

Aradia nooo don't listen to the voices trust me

Waaaait wait wait. Is this white guy Doc Scratch. I know Hal hasn't even shown up yet but is this Doc Scratch. Is he doing time shenanigans. Please let this be doc scratch I need lord english stuff 

Vriska. Vriska what did you do to sollux. Also aw him and aradia are dating??? Sweet

FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT!!!! DOC SCRATCH!!!! I LOVE YOU MR SCRATCH

Mr Vanilla Milkshake

Isn't that Jade's cue ball. I knew it was related to doc scratch

“I will explode in your face’

I fucking love Doc Scratch. Yeah Vriska I don't care that your spider mom died I'm busy being a Homosexual 

BAHAHAH EQUIUS. You're such a fucking nut. I mean a fiddlesticks nut. No that doesn't hit the same way

This a hilarious dynamic actually. I love you Aradia

EQUIUS IS DOING THE MEME POSE

But anyway. Fuck yeah Aradia. Equius you freak. Aradia bite him

This makes me realize a pair of my homestuck ocs are like this but yk. Toxic and codependent. There's like four people who know they exist 

Huh

Nepeta cucked… jk I know moirails and the heart thing are different. Silly though. “This my boyfriend equius. And this is equius's girlfriend aradia. And this is aradia's boyfriend sollux.”

SHIPPING WALL WOOOOO

Yesss karkat. “you will never find love or hate” YOU TELL HER!!!! 

Also ooo jack

Yaaaay red blood. Actually I forget what red blood means its low isn't it 

OHHH wait he's got mutant blood. Dangggg

Jack is metal af. What a way to earn a kids trust

Cahoots!!!!

WOOO DOC SCRATCH!!! GIVE JER NEW PURPOSE YAAAAA

Man I sure wish I could have learned all of this in a natural way instead of jusy being told in a couple panels. Haha. Sure would be a fun experience methinks !!

Yaaaay kanaya

Glub glub glub

Slur count: 15

THATS NOT THE PROPER SURGERY PROCEDURE

Troll blood tastes bad. Got it

Yo wait she's moirails with Vriska??? Girl get outta there. Actually wait I love toxic yuri please continue 

Holy shit I didn't think eridan would be so boring to listen to. Snoreeeeee. Eridan do something funny pls poke poke

Funny that Karkat was wrong about Vriska getting bitches though. Why do you guys want her

Where did that last line come from. Eridan you emo. Real though

ROSE'S GAMEFAQ!!!!!! 

Ong troll rose lalonde… kanaya imagines her as a highblood it seems that's cute 

VRISKA YOU CANT SAY THAT actually you technically Can but VRISKA DONT BULLY TAVROS!!!!! 

Vriska girl please go to therapy. Tavros kill her

Scurry!!!!

Someone needs to have Vriska read the You're Not A Real Gamer post

Stabby hatefriend <33

Alright we are doing Peter pan now

Tavros just kill her already. She's scary 

WOAH VRISKA YOU CANT JUSG KISS HIM!!!! 

TAVROSSSSS NOOO DONT FALL FOR HER!!!!

It's kinda funny she hates his guts and he likes her. Can they please get a room

KANAYA GOT CUCKED :(

Poor Kanaya actually… she has horrible taste in women but I feel bad for her

Rose's mom and John's dad are matesprites… man this incest pile is getting crazyyyyy

Oh they are in love!!!!! Hate love!!!!

I love incest!!! the pail Has come 

The rammies… sorry I can't hear ramifications without thinking of the rammies…

Aradia and Equius's little gif matched the beat of the music I'm listening to

FAYGO also I think I completely forgot that Eridan isn't fuschia. Oopsies. Thought he was 

HI JOHN!!! I wish I was reading about your adventures currently 

Okay what's up with Eridan and the fishy girl. This is the second time we've cut to them during this explanation

Hi Eridan. WHAT DONT KILL THE WHALE

Okay hi fish

Ohhh Feferi… that's your name… okay

I don't think that was adorable but okay

Poor orphaned troll : (

Genocide complex… okay sure buddy why don't you get back to larping Harry potter. I'm canceling you babygirl

Aw :> I kinda like Feferi it's sweet she wants to change things for the better

COWBOY X WIZARD FUCK YEAH

Feferi really does have a lameass bi boyfriend

I'm just gonna call them all boyfriend and girlfriend btw. The quadrants don't sound yummy to me. Except pitch. I like that word. Sounds like bitch 

Do u not fw faygo

Just like Dave's fridge…

Can we peleeeease get back to good stuff I'm so sorry I.dont care about these guys. Maybe I will later but I wanna know what's going on with John and the other kids. Maybe focus on Karkat. Maybe on WV and the gang. I don't. Want to see them have a will-they-wont-they… 

Okay real talk. This act has been. Kinda a drag despite them going SO fast with plotpoints. People say that acts 1-3 were slow but I was so entertained by them!!! Is this a lame take. If they just slowed the fuck down I would like this a lot more. Hussie let me enjoy your fucking comic I don't want to speed through it 

Anyway. That aside.

she's in a fish bowl that's not good for her :(

HELP WAIT I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT CARING ABOUT FEFERI AND ERIDAN. OH MY GOODNESS. SHES BREAKING UP WITH HIM KINDA THATS SO

FEFERI KEEPS DOING FISH PUNS WHILE BREAKING UP WITH ERIDAN OH MY

I love Feferi I think. My opinion has changed. Get Fucked Eridan

WHAT HAPPENED TO SOLLUX also why are Gamzee and Jack just. Standing There. Menacingly

SOLLUX NO EHAT COME BACK

I LIKED SOLLUX NOOOOOOOOO GAMZEE STOP HONKING

Feferi kissing Sollux's corpse would be so fucking weird if I didn't know what happens when you do that in homestuck

Sollux back <33 

Oh I forgot uh. That guy is watching. Legit can't remember his name ! Guy without an arm is watching !

THE NEVER ENDING STORY REFERENCE 

Oh hi audience insert !

Hussie. I don't care actually

I think you should be going SLOWER 

DONT THROW CAL also. I don't care!!!! 

:/ :/ :/ this makes me want to *remembers I'm not supposed to make jokes about killing myself*... cull myself 

Thank God we're back

Oh cool! Sollux gets two dream selves!!!

DEUCE?!?!?!?!?!

Terezi is so cute btw. I adore her

FUCK YEAH GO NEPETA

Theyre so cuteeeee I love meowrails

Slur count: 16

VRISKA'S FUTURE USERNAME SAYS FAG BAHAHAHAHA

I'm not including these in my Slur count these are funny

Okay hold on I thought these guys were dead… whag

Whoaj What are you up to Snowman… 

What the fuck

OHHH KICKAAS WINGS TEREZI. What the fuck was happening with the last panel though

Karkat stop calling things schizophrenic honey. I'm grounding you

I love Terezi and Karkat. My babies

Again??? I don't know the Password but I wanna look at what it is…

Is this troll sweet bro and Hella Jeff

I don't understand what really happened in that animation but YEAHHH FUCK HER UP ARADIA FUCK YEAHHHHH

Alpha timeline mention!!! I'm assuming that has to do with the alpha kids

A scratch… LIKE DOC SCRATCH!!!!!

Oh thank God that act is over. Kinda. Friend told me act 5 act 2 has more of the stuff I like. Act 5 act 1 gave me such a fucking headache I did not enjoy it very much!!!

The ending had that same sorta flair as usual homestuck but. The rest. It was like reading bullet points. Like you're doing now except I'm not telling a story I'm telling you my reactions to the story

Idk. Yeah. Not A fan Of act 5 act 1. Here's to hoping act 5 act 2 is better !!!

[unharmed]

[ Hello there! ]

[ Wow, you're seriously going to attempt reading about me?? Alright then, before we begin this long and tiresome charade, let's go over the basic information you NEED to know and understand.. ]

[ NO! i do not want to subscribe to your OF]

[ I don't "want" you. I don't "need" you. I don't want to "come see you". ]

[ Please for the love of whatever you love most, do not bother telling me this post offended you]

[ Aw you look beautiful when you’re smiling! Love those shoes too ;) ]

[ Alright, get comfortable my darling ]

[ I love people, i just don't find many interesting. So technically, the law of averages works against you.]

[ You might be awesome.. please, feel welcome to change my mind ]

[ Okay, Lets go. ]

[ My name is Arias ]

[ You most likely just pronounced it wrong.. ]

[ I like coffee ]

[ I like people. I wouldn't be able to live without people.]

[ I love talking ]

[ You don't know me ]

[ You probably wouldn't understand me even if you did ]

[ I'm From London ]

[ I also live in Los Angeles, Sydney and New york ]

[ Because i can ]

[ I travel a lot ]

[ I'm 6'3 ]

[ I like short girls ]

[ Not midgets. Short girls ]

[ My dad's white, my mum's spanish .. Incase you wondered ]

[ I'm English ]

[ Yes i have an accent, it's london with a hint of sydney]

[ I like it.. ]

[ No you probably will never hear it ]

[ Are you hungry? You should get a snack!! Maybe a drink? Stay hydrated!]

[ I've played Piano, Guitar and Violin since i was 4 ]

[ I write lyrics and music when i'm bored ]

[ No i will not write you a song ]

[ Yes i can sing ]

[ No i will not sing for you ]

[ I love to cook ]

[ No i will not cook for you ]

[ I'm blunt so i can be an arsehole ]

[ I'm quite nice in general ]

[ I'm passive, i really don't give a fuck ]

[ Unless i care.. then I absolutely give a fuck ]

[ I won't suck up just so you like me ]

[ I do what I want ]

[ I do not like cameras, in case you’re wondering why my page isn’t littered with selfies ]

[ No i will not be your trick monkey ]

[ or your human puppet ]

[ enough. ]

[ Make me smile, make me laugh, i'll get addicted to you ]

[ I'm a cuddle whore ]

[ I'm attracted to pretty faces and beautiful smiles ]

[ I'm a dreamer ]

[ I love to plan dreamy dates and sensational moments]

[ I have sleep issues. I like my issues ]

[ I love to read ]

[ I think you're spiffy because you're still reading this ]

[ I'm bored right now, so i may NEVER stop. ]

[ I LOVE to cook. I even bake my own bread haha ]

[ If you tak lyke dis, dun fuhkin tak 2 me mkay? ]

[ Right. got that off my chest ]

[ I swim, i run, i eat unhealthy, my body is so confused, but it's pretty to look at? ]

[ I love music, i have way too much music for one guy ]

[ I love kids, i have 3 god children and they rock my world ]

[ I'm opinionated and judgemental, however, i will listen to your opinion and i will listen to your side of the story]

[ I'm hopelessly romantic ]

[ I'm very very very picky ]

[ No. I'm not looking for anything or anyone ]

[ Romance.. is so misunderstood ]

[ I'm broken ]

[ No. You can't fix me ]

[ Wow. I didn't stop. You didn't stop. We're still here and we're meant to be *gushes* haha ]

[ I'll probably adopt. ]

[ I'm always bored ]

[ I like conversation ]

[ I love to read ]

[ I don't like pictures, i figure that if there is something beautiful enough, it'll burn into my memory ]

[ I however, do not want you to hit on me ]

[ I can be very perverted ]

[ No, this does not imply i want to talk dirty ]

[ Or.. that i want you to talk dirty ]

[ Or.. discuss my kinks ]

[ Please try not to be too creepy.. PRETTY PLEASE? ]

[ I'm also very moralistic ]

[ I love my imagnation ]

[ I have a major oral fetish ]

[ Do we have things in common? ]

[ No, You could probably never be my dream girl ]

[ I have never had a one night stand ]

[ Yes, i'm very picky and fucking frustrating ]

[ Are you Captain Entertainment? Sent to rescue me from the trescherous depths of boredom? ]

[ Didn't think so.. ]

[ I love cookies, they make me happy ]

[ I love cold miserable rainy weather ]

[ I'm cheeky ]

[ I’m contradictory ]

[ I'm complicated ]

[ I'm curious ]

[ Did the brackets annoy you? ]

[ Or.. the spacing? ]

[ You made it.. You deserve a prize! ]

[ Stupid word count ]

[ Message me if you still want more ]

[kimhortons]

July 22 | Manila.

i really just had to go home to Manila few weeks ago, para kumuha ng ilang damit at para makuha ko narin yung mga pabango na pinadala ng friend ko from i dunno where kasi flight attendant siya.

also had inihaw na liempo for our lunch which i also crave the most, kasi never ko pa nakita yung family ni J na nag ihaw hehe. pagkauwing pagkauwi namin, after mag breakfast, bumili kaagad kami. overnight lang naman kami so binigyan ko nalang si papa ng kaonting budget para sa bahay.

my college bff, Rachel and really planned to meet up before i get there. sakto kasi nung nag sabi akong uuwi ako on that said date, naka leave siya. so first thing in mind is Trinoma and Tacobell. mga sobrang namiss ko talaga 'to favorite places and food ko. nag grocery muna kami ng pang baon sa byahe then after that kumain sa Tacobell.

super namiss ko talaga yung tacos dun, nothing special naman talaga, kasi kaya naman gumawa nung sa bahay pero yung place rin kasi, tsaka good thing naipa-try ko rin kay Rachel kasi first time niya kumain dun, not J's first time, in fact ayaw niya dun kasi di raw masarap, pero nagustuhan niya yung new rice meal sa menu nila haha. too bad kasi talagang wala nito dito sa Bicol hays. gusto ko rin sana mag Burger KIng (which is wala rin dito) kaso medj mabigat sa tyan yung kinaen namin.

after dun, tumabay na kami at nag catch up sa Starbucks, also one of my favorite spot, yung nasa garden. after din dun, nag ikot ikot kami para maghanap ng t-shirt ni J. at dahil may promo nun sa Oxyen, syempre may 1 top rin ako haha. (thanks bubb) bumili rin kami ng Jamaican pattie bago umuwi, kasi as usual wala rin nung dito, though meron na daw, kaso sa Sorsogon pa huehue.

plano ko rin sana i-meet si Mitch at Jm at magpa massage dun sa spa na pinupuntahan namin before, kaso sobrang kulang sa time. ang hirap pala mag catch up pag ganitong bitin sa oras, kulang yung isang araw. si Jasmine nga rin sana gusto pa ko imeet kaso paalis na kami kinabukasan at need na mag rest. maybe next time.

but atleast i know, my friends back home are missing me and as much as possible wants to spend time with me rin.

[nice2meetyouu]

Let tita 1 = kapatid ng tatay ko

Let tita 2 = pinsan ng nanay ko

Growing up, medyo close kami sa family members ng tatay ko, so syempre kasama na dun 'yung mga kapatid niya. They helped me with some schoolwork dati and occasionally dinadalhan nila kami ng food dito sa bahay. May regular communication din. All is well. Kaya nu'ng nanghihingi sya ng reseta para sa vitamins, "ay sige tita remind niyo lang po ako" (wala naman kasi akong dalang pangreseta sa mga reunion haha). I'd be happy to be of help kay tita 1. Kung nagtataka kayo bakit need pa ng reseta kung vitamins lang naman, 'yun ay para makakuha ng discount, actually.

Pero si tita 2, kahapon, nandito sa bahay, tinatanong kung nagrereseta ako. Gusto ng antibiotics para sa "sakit ng lalamunan." Pag daw kumonsulta sa private, 600 daw agad 'yun. Pag naman sa center, ang haba ng pila. Inunahan ko na agad ng "may bayad" (ang pagpapareseta). Tapos na-change topic na at hindi na bumalik uli sa usapang antibiotics. May specific na gamot na nga sila in mind. Hahaha.

Andami sa side ng nanay ko na "humihingi ng tulong." Some of them aren't really a big deal pero magtataka ka lang siguro bakit ipinapagawa pa sa akin e may sarili naman na silang mga anak na malaki na. Ipinapaedit sa akin 'yung CV nila, may mga dokumentong ipinapa-edit and print sa work, or related sa small business, etc. Same same 'yung reason nila, hindi raw maasahan 'yung mga anak nila [sa ganoong bagay]. Eh parang ang sad lang na 'di ko maintindihan. Mas madali bang pumunta rito kaysa utusan ang sariling anak?

Anyway, walang enough goodwill points at investment si tita 2 sa akin plus hindi ko bet 'yang mga gustong magpareseta ng antibiotics. Ikaw nagdiagnose, ikaw magreseta. Sabi niya, hindi naman daw kasi sila bibigyan sa pharmacy pag walang reseta. E sabi ko, dapat lang. (Dapat lang na hindi bigyan kung hindi naman kailangan. Pero ayaw ko nang makipag-away at magpaliwanag about sa antimicrobial resistance. Ipipilit lang naman nilang gumiginhawa sila sa pag-inom ng kanilang drug of choice.)

[hashirun]

My friends from my former company stayed in our private resort last weekend for our "annual get-together" (it's a running joke since we've been getting together just once a year since the pandemic broke). So of course there was a lot of catching up to do but our conversations mostly centered around work, office gossip, and other job opportunities, from time to time it will stray to our personal lives aka love life (or lack thereof).

I'm always glad to welcome them because they always insist on paying for their stay even when I tell them it's okay (pero syempre at the back of my mind I'd always think it'd be nice if they did pay haha). They would tell me, ano ka ba negosyo yan. Nakaka-touch lang so I always make sure to give them a discount - sabi nga presyong kaibigan.

Yung pinsan ko din nag-stay dito nito lang Monday and Tuesday kasama barkada nya tapos sa amin umorder ng food worth 10,000 - dinner, lunch, and breakfast. And nagsend sya ng bayad last week pa. Bukod dun lagi din nya dinadala dito yung staff nya sa business nya for team building and dito umoorder ng food.

It feels nice to have people in your life who understand the struggle of running a business and actually support you instead of looking for ways to take advantage of you and your friendship. Bless them!

Naalala ko tuloy yung tito ko (asawa ng tita ko) na nag-refer ng relatives nya dito then nung tinanong how much, sabi "ang mahal naman" kahit discounted na yung binigay kong rate. At yung pinsan kong di nagbayad ng mga inorder nya sa cafe. Universe na lang bahala sa kanila.

[9-93]

Hi!! Do you mind me asking where you read all these manhwas, I do in mangabuddy but they haven’t uploaded the new potn chapter also what are your some favourites manga/manhwa/manhua?

Hi there!!

I used paid services to read manhwa’s! From official sites like Tappytoon,Tapas, Lezhin, Renta, etc

as for my favourite reads.. there’s so many to pick from!! 😖 i’ll write out a list of ones that i can think of from the top of my head haha

Some of my fav BL’s both rated R and E :

Ongoing; Painter of the Night, Limited Dun, Dangerous Convince store, Dawn of the Dragon, and Under the Greenlight (currently on hiatus) The origin of species (basically complete) and Killer Crush

Completed; Sweet Heart Trigger (manga), Sign, Walk on Water, I’m Yours Blood and Soul, and Runway Hit

Anything by Usui Iroha and Brothers without a Tomorrow!! That’s all that I can think of atm, I highly suggest checking out some of the titles i’ve suggested if you’re down for it! 🤍

[angaklatngkahel]

Hi 👋

Exam ko ngayon kaya wag muna kayo magulo haha

Happy Teacher’s s day pala nakaraan 🥳

May nagsend sa akin mg Mewtwo hahahah EZ 😊

Also nasa 400 km na ko... dont touch me hahah 😤

Now playing:

@ anon...

di ko na ipublish TA mo kasi may pangalan hahaha pero...

YES si Rae yun 🤭 Ikaw na lang bahala maghanap dun banda ako sa upper right tapos yung may hawak na box at orange na bag. 👍

Galing kami Galleria bago ako napunta sa Forum bago ako umuwi 3 years ago.

Bukas ulit 👋

Sana may maligaw na chat haha 🤭

sige Scroll ka na

[jillaxkalangg]

hi jill! need a piece of advice as a reviewee. how did you stay disciplined during your preparation for the board exam? was your average close to the cut off during your first take? any advice you’d like to share? planning on retaking this nov but im afraid it’s too late 🥺

hi anon! sorry, it took me awhile to post this medj kakauwi ko lang kasi. also, psa this will be longg hehe

actually, my rating when i took the boards last year was far behind average. during my review last year for nov 2023, pinagsasabay ko ang compre sa univ and review sa manila. hati ang time during first part ng review and nag alangan din kung makakaabot sa graduation for midterm class kaya i'm not 100% confident with my review season. madami akong missed review days, sa refresher ako humabol non kasi hindi na kaya if babalikan ko pa ulit. i was so pressured that i really hate myself during those days, ang bagal ng usad ko and seeing my friends understood the reviews/refreshers made me so anxious. it also came to a point na muntik na ko magback out kasi i am not really sure if i'll pass kasi ang dami kong missed lessons during review and may delay rin sa release ng TOR namin. luckily, nakahabol TOR namin and i took the exam. to be honest, i just took the risk. 50/50 kasi, if by luck and fate, i'll pass. but if not, edi better luck next time. when i didn't saw my name in the results, i'm so disappointed with myself and nahihiya ako sa parents ko. but the first thing that came to my mind was i need to take the boards again, i need to pass cele april 2024.

i started reviewing again last January. i changed how i review, and how i study. i also enrolled in a review center who offers online review which really helped me para magkaroon ng pattern ang daily activities ko. every morning, 8am pa lang gising na ako to check the modules they sent. i try to solve and familiarize myself with some of the problems, 1-5pm kasi yung sched ko so during review. after class, i am solving the problems discussed again and nagsosolve ng mga hindi natapos isolve. everyday during review season ganyan ang ginagawa ko. sa refresher season naman, morning schedule ko so 7 pa lang gising na ako, trying to memorize and understand the formulas. 8am to 12noon sched ng class ko, so sa hapon i am solving the problems we solved during refresher. paulit ulit lang na ganon ginagawa ko until the last week of review. yung week ng boards, hindi na ako nagsosolve, i am just checking and reviewing all the solved problems ng review center at mga nasagutan ko. but here are my tips and advice hehe sorry nag overshare pa nga ako haha

as much as possible, don't use your phone during review season. limit your time using your gadgets. mahirap but ilang months lang naman hehe i also uninstalled my socmed during this time.

you have to focus on the topics that you feel you lack the most. focus ka dun but don't forget to also study yung ibang topics.

personally, i didn't finish CE references. CE ref 5 na hge lang natapos ko but yung iba, hindi ko talaga tinapos kasi nasasayangan ako sa oras. i focused more refresher na bigay ng review center but this is your choice naman hehe

don't pressure yourself and study at your pace. wag mo madaliin, slowly but surely bb.

always believe that you'll see your name in the passers list! for me, palagi kong dinadasal na sana makasama ang pangalan ko sa list ng passers. i always mention this "Engr. *my name*, RCE April 2024!" at "thank you po, Lord kasama po ang pangalan ko sa listahan ng passers ng CELE April 2024" maging specific sa prayers

you have to understand that you can't learn and study all of the topics involved in the exam. may mga hindi ka matatapos isolve o aralin, may mga topics ka talagang hindi maiintindihan and that's okay! dasal na lang na ang lalabas sa exam is yung alam mo hehe however!! just know and learn the concept, kahit hindi mo i-master. just know the concept, okay na yun.

believe and trust yourself. walang ibang tutulong sayo during that the exam but yourself. tandaan mo na walang iba pang may alam na sagot kundi ikaw (nv advice ng review center instructor ko before hahahaha)

don't pressure yourself too much to the point na wala ka nang nasosolve kasi ang iniisip mo na wala ka pang alam. normal ma-pressure but don't let it consume you. normal umiyak, normal mapagod pero palagi mo tandaan na at the end of the day, this will be all worth it.

trust yourself. if its for you, it will be yours, engineer. Isaiah 60:22

mind conditioning works. if you set yourself na may masasagutan at may hindi ka masasagutan, things will be easier.

once in awhile, give yourself a chance to destress. ako kasi nakakapanood pa rin ako ng kdrama during my review season. tuwing sunday, rest day ko haha tho sa hapon nagrereview pa rin ako. but atleast nakapagpahinga ako.

lastly, enjoy solving. namnamin ang bawat pagsosolve kasi yan na ang huling beses na magsosolve ka nang sandamakmak na problems. claim it already! magpapasko kang engineer <3

walang masama na sumubok, sabi nga ng tatay ko "hangga't may papel at lapis, exam lang nang exam." laban lang, magiging sayo na yan :) idk if this can help ;_; but i am rooting for your success, anon!

[valgregory]

Chapter 12

Aym: There's something here!

Vine: Uhh, Marc already said that just now!

???: Just in time... I was starting to get hungry...

Nero: I, the great Nero,

*whoosh*

Nero: Will devour all of you!!

*dun dun*

*flap flap*

Aym: What the heck...

Vine: That's it...?

Nero: Hey, wait!!

Nero: What is with your response?! Don't underestimate me!! I'll kill you all!!

Nero: Starting with that brat over there! Have a taste of my wrath!!

*tap*

*fling!*

*thud*

Nero: Agh!!

Nero: Dammit...

Vine: Hey doggy, is this the best you can do?

Marc: !

Aym: You sure you're a hellhound?

Marc: !!

Aym: Useless dog!

Vine: No wonder Aria can't find the guy she's after...

Aym: Go fix that nose of yours!

Vine: Seriously, you have zero talent in finding people...

Marc: I'm leaving.

Aym: Boo! You're no fun!! Loser!

Vine: So, what are we gonna do with this thing?

Val: Wh- what is this creature?

Dantalion: That's a hellhare.

*Hellhare: A rabbit from hell

Dantalion: You don't know what they are? We have lots of them in hell... they taste good, by the way.

Val: You can eat them?!

Vine: Should I just eat it? It doesn't look tasty, though...

Nero: Help me...

Val: *bling bling*

Val: Uh... can I have him?

Nero: Yay!

Vine: Hm? Sure, take this ugly furball. I'm not hungry, anyway...

*bop*

Nero: Who are you calling ugly furball, you disrespectful brat!! Watch your mouth!

Vine: Alright, problem solved! Now let's go home! (The guide ran off, anyway.)

[Vine didn't even want to search]

Val: What about Marc? Are we gonna leave him just like that?

Aym: Who cares. He'll go home sooner or later...

Vine: *pats Aym's head*

Aym: Don't touch me!!

Vine: Wagh!!

---

[cut to val walking home]

*tap tap*

*pyon*

*tap tap*

*pyon pyon*

Val: Why are you following me?! Go away!

Nero: I'm following you because you're a nice guy~

[A simple creature]

Val: Sure you want to stay with me? You want to follow me in there?

*glance*

*dun dun*

Nero: ??!!!

Nero: A church?! What are you doing here?!

Val: I live here.

Nero: You can't leave me alone out here!! Take me with you!

*hug*

Val: Argh, let go of my leg!!

---

Val: In the end, he followed me in here... I'm lucky no one saw him...

*knock knock*

Father Gregory: Val, are you in there?

Val: Woah, Father!!

[val grabs his blanket]

Val: Hey, get in here and hide! Hurry!

Nero: Why? Ordinary humans can't see me.

Val: Huh?! Whatever, just hide!!

Nero: No!

Father Gregory: Val? I'm coming in-

*creak*

Father Gregory: What are you doing?

*stunned*

Val: Uhh, night yoga...? I heard it's good for your health... haha...

Father Gregory: ...I see...

Father Gregory: Go to sleep when you're done, okay?

*blam*

Val: Ugh, that was close... (phew)

Nero: See? I told you ordinary humans can't see me~

Val: Oh, right... this creature is a demon...

Val: Maybe he knows something...

*pat pat*

Val: Hey... do you know who Mammon is?

Nero: What's that? Some kind of food??

Val: Never mind. Let's just go to sleep...

Nero: Okay~

Father Gregory: ...

---

Debtor: Stop!!

*slam*

Debtor: I promise I'll pay you back! Please don't kill me-

*whoosh*

???: Sigh...

???: Don't get a loan if you can't pay it back...

[??? starts his playlist]

???: You stupid human.

*tap tap*

---

[cut to vine and aym walking home]

Aym: Hey, is it okay to leave Dantalion?

Vine: It's fine. He said he had business, right?

Dantalion: You two can go on ahead... I need to look into something...

Aym: What kind of business does he have? I mean, all he does is read books.

Vine: *yawn* Who knows...

Vine: Forget about him... let's go babe hunting at the city~ (it's usually pretty crowded at night)

*tap*

Aym: Go what hunting?

*choke*

Aym: Is that all your brain can think of? Hah?!!

Vine: AAAAAAAA

[someone passes by]

Vine: Huh?

Vine: ...

Aym: What're you looking at? Are you dead already?

Vine: No, you idiot. That guy who just passed by... I think I've seen him somewhere...

---

Marc: I don't want to work with them again... they're so irritating...

*treng deng deng*

Marc: I should just go by myself next time...

???: (koka kola~ coca cola~)

*bump*

???: Hey, watch where you're going!! Damn it!

???: ?! Marc?!

Marc: Caim?!

[To be continued...]

*Caim's playlist, if anyone's curious:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeQg5DORlRggD4-m94sa749mzu285B-K3&si=Onyq1usnTsYGkceK

Previous chapter | Chapter 12 | Next chapter

[kimhortons]

2022—Tuesday, October 18th

Got home from Bicol today. Medyo nagkaka separation anxiety ako, parang gusto ko na bumalik na agad dun since tapos naman na ako mag clearance, sana lang wag i-hold nung napaka kupal kong bisor yun para makuha ko agad last pay ko. 1 month lang dapat, magde-December na, wala naman na siyang kasing kupal kung ihohold niya pa yun hanggang December diba. Wala lang, feeling ko lang (wag naman sana) kasi nakakuha ako ng FOC kahit na ppina restrict niya ako sumakay ng libre. Pati HR pinag sabihan pa ako, alam ko naman na wala na akong privilege pero nasa core values naman ng company ng Malasakit, sana naman hanggang huli pinapanindigan nila, puro lang kasi malasakit sa kumpanya gusto nila, pag sa tao wala man lang ka-amor amor. Haha.

So anyway, meron akong dilemma ngayon, pag lapag na paglapag ko palang ng Manila pagkakita ko sa mahabang pila sa carousel ng pasado alas singko ng umaga at traffic sa Cubao ng pasado alas siete ng umaga, at sa sobrang crowded, nag cocontemplate na ko kung ano bang pipiliin ko;

mag-settle sa Bicol at maghanap ng trabaho na related sa course na tinapos ko (or kahit hindi basta may work) so provincial rate pero, minimal ang traffic, medyo mababa ang cost of living kumpara dito, very welcoming na pamilya ni J at tahimik na environment, which is isa sa pinaka aasam asam ko naman talaga ever since nag simulang mag kanda leche leche buhay ko dito.

[pros. italized above/cons. provincial rate, medyo worried ako sa iisipin ng ibang tao kung titira ako sakanila pero di pa naman kami legal na mag asawa huehue though wala namang problema sa family niya ako lang haha] not to mention na syempre kailangan ko rin mag share sa mga gastusin dun which is okay lang naman for me.

or maghanap ng work dito parin sa Manila, actually may mga nag hihintay na sa akin, mostly mga BPO company, at yung isa office work din sa isang Loan Processing company naman. Puro referral ng friend ko 'to. Meron pa nga sana parang Law Firm sa Australia na naka base dito sa PH, somewhere in Makati. Ang offer daw dun nasa 19k monthly, pero hindi ko na na-entertain dahil kaka uwi ko lang nun sa Bicol nung napakwento nga ako sa friend ko na galing din sa law firm na yun, kinabukasan iinterviewhin sana ako agad, para if ever pag balik ko dito may work na agad ako. Napressure ako, wala ako sa tamang headspace para mag take ng interview nun kaya pinalampas ko nalang muna. Tsaka parang na-overwhelmed agad ako sa Job Description, like shet nabobobohan ako sa sarili ko, parang wala akong tiwala na kaya ko, yung ganon ba, foreigner pa naman ang boss haha. Taaka malayo at mahihirapan talaga ako mag commute kung tatanggapin ko dun.

So ayun, going back, syempre its either manila rate or above minimum na manila rate. ito lang actually yung nakikita kong pros, sahod. pag dating naman sa cons, as we all know ang taas na talaga ng cost of living dito sa manila, sobrang lala pa ng public transpo dito, naiisip ko pa lang yung pipila na naman ako ng halos isang oras o mahigit, naiiyak na ko haha. Yung kailangan mo gumising ng napaka aga kung morning ang duty mo para di ka mahirapan sumakay or else makikipag unahan at gitgitan ka talaga. Sa mahal ng pamasahe at kung malayo ang byahe mo, lugi ka talaga. Tsaka yung relationship namin ng tatay at kapatid ko dito sa bahay, hindi ganon ka-okay, mas nahihirapan na ako makisama sakanila kesa sa family ni J. ang daming cons diba.

Kaya medyo nahihirapan ako mag decide kung pera ba o peace of mind at stress free environment? Huehue. Tsaka okay lang ba na magpahinga muna ako hanggang matapos 'tong taon na 'to bago ako tumuloy sa job hunting? hindi ba magiging off sa interviewer ko kung sakali, October 18 naman last day ko sa company sa nakalagay sa COE ko e, so parang almost 2 months lang akong matetengga ulit. Problema ko nalang yung mga bayarin ko, yung last pay ko nalang muna aasahan ko para mabawasan yun kahit papano.

Gulong gulo parin ako. Gaya ng sabi ni J, itulog ko na muna baka sakali pag gising ko may desisyon na ako. Haha.

[dearysse]

that trauma from a friend

--- hi! it's me again.. I always ask myself "why do I always experience being left out with everyone?". I always blame myself for being shy, being unconfident, for being timid, for being different! WHY? WHY AM I LIKE THIS?.

sasabihin ng iba "try mo kasi hindi maging invisible!". I AM TRYING... MY BEST! im trying to exist in their world. Pero tuwing magsasabi ako ng opinyon, walang nakikinig. No, actually WALANG MAY PAKE! haha..

parang kanina nag video call kami ng group of "friends" ko (all girls to na vid call wala yung mga asawa namin). So ayun na nga sympre ako kasi si smilie agad eh.. goodvibes ba since nagkakasiyahan naman sa vid call. Then tinawag isa-isa to say their suggestions/opinions sa pinag-uusapan namin. Guess what? ako lang ang hindi tinawag na parang napasabi nalang ako nang "ay invisible pala talaga ko" Then laugh it out para di naman ako mukhang T*nga* dun sa video call..

then ang masakit pa nun HAHAHAH... natatawa ko na hindi ko alam. ang tinawag nila for suggestion is yung asawa ko HAHAHAH.. "oh hingin naman natin suggestion ni _____". ay dzai lamunin nalang sana ko ng lupa that time.

---- sabi nila "i-open mo sa mga friends mo yung feelings mo.." na parang akala mo ang dali-daling gawin nun. Ang hirap nung para samin na introvert at may trauma sa mga confessions na ganyan. Sana maintindihan niyo rin na kung gaano kayo nahihirapan pag andyan kami, ganun din kami nahihirapan mag open up..

andyan yung naiisip namin na "paano kung isipin nila na ang drama mo lang..", " ang liit na bagay pinapalaki.." , "wala naman nagleleft out sayo, NAIISIP MO ANG YAN.." , "baka naman kasi ikaw ang problema?"

that's where the trauma wil start.. trust me NA-EXPERIENCE ko na yan. Buong buhay ko nalang ginagawa ang magplease ng tao. Natrauma na ko sa group of friends ko ilang beses na.. AND MAY NAGAWA BA KO? MERON. ngumiti at ipakita na OKAY LANG AKO. sasabihin sa sarili na "okay lang yan, ilang beses mo na naranasan yan.. malalagpasan mo rin yan ulit."

PERO...

nakakapagod din pala... NAKAKAPAGOD. nakakapagod. nakakasawa. siguro mas okay na rin wala ka nalang best of friends. Kasi ang hirap makahanap ng TRUE FRIENDS at yan ang totoo.. hindi porket nagkasama kayo ng ilang beses, nagovernight, nagtawanan, nagiyakan, nagkwentuhan EH TOTOONG KAIBIGAN MO NA TALAGA sila..

" Sometimes your life will get so much better when you realize it's better to be alone, than to chase people who don't really care. "

"distance yourself with people who don't help your mind and heart."