#dumb fanfic idea

[fishfission-dc]

Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 10: Alfred)

<<Part 9: Barbara 

[Masterlist]

Alfred: Actually, I have prepared something I would like you all to see.

Bruce: Oh lord...

[collective sigh]

Alfred: I have noticed that many of you are electing not to return used dishes to their proper location to be washed. 

Barbara: Oooh... that one’s on me, sorry Alfred.

Alfred: Miss Gordon, I trust you not to spill anything on the computer console, but I still think it best not to have open beverages in the presence of... other company.

Dick: Is he talking about-

Tim: Yeah he’s talking about us.

Bruce: Hn.

Steph: Only Bruce does this, Alfred, I promise.

Alfred: I am well aware, Miss Brown. 

Bruce: ...sorry.

Duke: How do you not spill anything using mugs in the Batmobile?

Cass: (signing) Impressive.

Jason: Okay, this one has to be Dick.

Dick: ...That’s probably me.

Tim: A teacup? A teacup and its saucer??

Dick: I was already drinking it at the time-

Alfred: Just bring it back next time.

Steph: HA

Damian: ...They like the-

Alfred: I highly doubt the dogs have a preference of plates.

Damian: ...understood.

Jason: WHICH ONE OF YOU-

Tim: STEPH. STEPH THAT IS YOUR BELT.

Steph: I CAN EXPLAIN

Barbara: Steph why is a mug in your-

Steph: I BRING THE MUGS HOME AND I PUT THEM IN MY BELT TO REMEMBER TO BRING THEM BACK TO ALFRED BUT THEN I FORGET

Duke: How many mugs are in your belt right now? 

Steph: ...

Dick: Steph.

Steph: A couple...

Alfred: Three. I checked twenty minutes ago.

Steph: ...Sorry Alfred.

Tim: ...Okay-

Dick: Tim. How on Earth-

Steph: HOW IS THIS ANY WORSE THAN ME KEEPING MUGS IN MY BELT

Tim: Sometimes I save time by eating in the shower!

Jason: That is like... a family sized tupperware container.

Damian: Drake, this is no longer efficiency, it is insanity. 

Tim: ...Sorry Alfred.

Bruce: ...how-

Barbara: Cass... Cass this has to be you.

Cass: (signing) ...Sorry.

Steph: Honestly I’m not surprised by this.

Duke: Are we not concerned that Alfred’s been repeatedly climbing into the rafters to collect these dishes?

Alfred: Oh it’s not the furthest length I’ve gone for you all...

Bruce: I may have left a serving dish at the Kents’ apartment in Metropolis, I apologize.

Tim: I don’t think I left anything in San Francisco... or Nanda Parbat.

Dick: TAMARAN?! I’m probably responsible for New York and Bludhaven, but that one was NOT me.

Jason: Ooooh, yeah... uh... that was probably me...

Steph: You left a tupperware container on Tamaran?!

Jason: And maybe... other places... I keep forgetting to bring them home.

Damian: How many of these locations are you responsible for, Todd?

Jason: Uh... definitely Star City and Tamaran... and Miami... Paris... and Washington, Hong Kong... maybe also Nanda Parbat. Oh, and I definitely left a cup in San Francisco...

Barbara: Oh my god.

Jason: ...Sorry Alf. Won’t happen again.

Alfred: I’m glad you appreciate the leftovers, Master Jason, but yes, please return the dishware.

Duke: Oh that’s definitely my bad... Sorry Alfred.

Alfred: It’s alright, my dear boy, you didn’t know.

Bruce: ...how long has that been the system?

Dick: Probably not long... I definitely didn’t do that as a kid...

Jason: Definitely changed while I was dead...

Alfred: That has been the system for 42 years, I would appreciate if all of you started adhering to it.

[a chorus of “Sorry, Alfred” as they retrieve their dishes, thus ending Powerpoint Night. The end.]

<<Part 9: Barbara

[Masterlist]

[zukkaturtleduck]

Been thinking about this a lot

While Zuko’s motivation to help Katara find her mom’s murder might be to be besties with her, I think there’s a huge version of him that was crazy excited to be a vigilante again 😂

Zuko is literally Batman and he’s just been waiting for an excuse to wear black and go on a mission to beat up a bad guy

[azu1as]

a stressed out, old man firelord zuko time travels and ends up back in ba sing se during his tea shop days.

Zuko: Ah, finally, some peace...

iroh is quick to figure out that zuko is not the same zuko as yesterday. he's torn between being thankful—relieved, really—that zuko grew up as wonderfully as he did and worried about the current whereabouts of his actual nephew. Zuko waves away his worries, saying that he's likely in the future and there's nothing you need to worry about, Uncle, my daughter will take care of him.

((Iroh: A reliable granddaughter? How delightful🥰))

Zuko's tea making skills have only improved over time. After his Uncle's passing in the future, he had taken it up as a passing hobby in his honor.

Zuko, freeing Appa: There you go, Appa. *sighs despondently* I miss Druk.

Appa perks up and licks Zuko and nudges at him familiarly.

"No way."

%%%

Zuko bumps into the Gaang while he delivers tea to the Upper Ring. They are immediately tense. Momo chitters excitedly and flies around Zuko before comfortably perching on his shoulder.

"Huh. I guess you talked to Appa."

"Anyway, goodbye, Gaang."

"...did Zuko just kidnap Momo?"

[bkdk-and-extras]

Katsuki has gotten into the habit of drawing hands.

Not just any hands, but Deku's hands specifically. Gag-worthy, he knows. But they wouldn't get out of his damn head, so he figured putting them on paper would solve something.

They were pretty shitty the first time he drew them — a collection of gangly shapes that gave him the stink eye just for forcing it into existence. And Bakugou Katsuki was not shitty at anything, so of course he practiced all that hand anatomy shit (hand bones are weird as hell, by the way).

In the process of hundreds of badly scribbled recreations of Deku's little wrecked-up wigglers, he has come to realize something. Something very, very counterproductive to the reason he started this outlet in the first damn place.

He knows Deku's hands too intimately. Like, more than any person should know about their rival's hands.

Every scar is sketched down onto the paper straight from muscle memory. Each knobby, who-knows-how-many-times broken knuckle rough and so real on the pages of his journals. They're too large around shitty pro hero-themed pencils, with thick wrists and freckles dotting the back of tanned palms. And god, there's at least one of the fucking grabbers in every journal. Some are clenched fists, scuffed from the fight. Others are gentler, rough palms open and reaching out.

Sometimes Katsuki draws his own hand there. Brushing the tips of Izuku's fingers with his. Sliding them together, both broken and battered from years of use, each finger and dip between them the edges of a puzzle piece. And they looked… right. Like they had always fit together. Like two halves finally coming home. Or some shit.

So, least to say, Katsuki has a problem. A very holdable, tempting problem, and he's convinced that if God exists, they are laughing at his pathetic ass right now.

Well. Just don't let the nerd find out, right?

[Spoilers: the nerd would eventually find out.]

@nottspocket made an absolutely beautiful comic based on this!!!! Check it out here it is the greatest thing to happen to me probably ever (this is so so late i thought id already done it fhffhfhfh)

[pastelsouthernbelle]

my boyfriend introduced me to the yakuza series a month ago by forcing me to watch him play through y0.

i am now inconsolable and determinedly playing through kiwami 1, even though I'm horrible at playing video games and have the hand-eye coordination of a newborn.

majima is now one of my sons, and I am determined to see this series through so I can make sure he gets plenty of hugs and love and everything else. (I am also, against my will, an unabashedly shameless kazumaji shipper, and I just... i don't know what to do with that.)

this series single-handedly brought me back to fandom with all the grace of a fist to the face, and I'm just so, so happy to have found my new happy place in the form of old, emotionally constipated men who clearly need each other in ways they can't even hope to conceptualize.

anyway, idk. this post is nothing, but I felt like writing for some reason... so... i wrote this... and then I started writing snippets of a fanfic that'll likely never see the time of day

but, y'know what? it... this feels good. it feels correct. i feel like I was in hibernation for centuries, but my pretty bf decided it was high time for me to wake up from this dumb slumber I found myself in.

i've missed fandom; i've missed people; i've missed community. and even though it doesn't seem like the kazumaji fandom is super, super active, i'm just happy to have found people who feel super, super warm :')

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Random conversation idea for the Tim+Billy sibling au before the Plot

At the zoo

Billy, talking about big cats: -and I dunno what kinda cat it was but there was this one picture I saw where they stand on their tails to keep their paws warm and it was the cutest thing!

Tim, admiring the tigers playing with Billy: cool!

Mary: I wish we had tails, they’re all so pretty…

Tim: I read in a science book that we used to but we stopped ‘cause of balance and standing upright more

Billy: well that sucks!

Mary: I’d want a squirrel tail. They look super soft

Billy: hmm

Tim: It’d probably look more like a bald cats tail since we don’t have fur…

Billy: I want the tiger tail (points at the tigers)

Tim, going with it: Hmm… I’d want… a kangaroo tail, then I could kick really hard during kickball

Billy: oh yeah! That’d be so cool!

The Drakes and Batsons: (Aw, they’re getting along!)

[patolemus]

AU where Stiles and Derek are both in high school and they have this long standing rivalry that started years ago back when they were still in elementary school and they hate each other, absolutely despise each other. Do they remember why? Not really, but they do know they must beat the other at all costs.

Derek is captain of the basketball team and Stiles does track. They both have trophies and awards, Derek has won the state championship ever since he started playing, and Stiles gets gold or silver in all of his events during competitions. Their GPA is exactly the same, Stiles is a History genius and Derek always aces English. They both suck at Chemistry, and they hate Harris. It's the only thing they ever agree on.

The only other highlight of their high school career besides their epic and everlasting hate-hate relationship is the anonymous person they've been talking to through annotated books.

Stiles blames his impulsiveness, because one day in freshman year he picked up a book full of little notes in the margin of the pages in the library and decided to answer all of them with his own little insights. Somehow he ends up having entire conversations made in intervals of a few days, in the form of words written on paper.

Derek? Well, he likes to annotate books and have mini conversations with himself, and he uses a pencil to write them, it’s not like he’s permanently damaging school property or anything! He starts caring less and less about that, though, when someone starts leaving answers to his annotations, much more invested on the conversations than on the preservation of school property.

Now, years later, about eighty percent of the library's books contain little messages and full blown conversations between two complete strangers. Stiles and Derek are about to graduate, and neither of them knows who this other person is. Which is a tragedy because they're pretty sure this mysterious person is the love of their life.

Spoiler alert: they're right.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 18

Jaskier wants Geralt to notice him already, and when Geralt makes yet another dig at Jaskier's clothing, Jaskier comes to the only reasonable explanation that this must be the only thing holding Geralt back. Jaskier decides to start dressing less and less extravagant, and it seems to be working! Geralt stares at him all the time, now! He even watches his performances! But he still doesn't react to Jaskier's innuendos or flirts*, nor does he walk across the camp and kiss him silly. *(It has been YEARS of this, so it's not exactly new behavior, he supposes.) Jaskier decides the final push is to start dressing more like Geralt, since that's surely what Geralt likes. He'll dress in black! ... Black. Maybe he'll just start with a dark grey. Geralt meanwhile is horrified at Jaskier's sudden wardrobe change. It gets blander and blander, more bleak and cheap, until he's starting to wear exclusively black. Geralt is worried. Is Jaskier... going through something? Geralt keeps waiting for Jaskier to bring it up, but he won't. Jaskier is a man of opulence and colors so bright they practically glow. To see him in such monochrome apparel is disconcerting, to say the least. The day Jaskier wears all-black and doesn't sing, Geralt has had enough and has to confront his friend about what appears to be a depressive episode or mourning period.

[skyrim-forever]

Fanfic idea

[codenamesazanka]

super absurd fic idea

Post-MVA, but pre-Jaku war.

A giant planet-destroying asteroid is headed towards Earth, and despite scientists-from-all-around-the-world's best efforts, there is no technology that can stop it. Heroes - and complex combinations of Heroes - can't stop it either. Whatever solution whoever has come up with just won't work. Earth is doomed...

Except when someone in Japan realizes maybe Shigaraki Tomura might be able to do something about the asteroid with Decay, especially since it can get totally disintegrated without the danger of big fragments flying to Earth.

Basically, for whatever reason, the world has absolutely no choice of avoiding this asteroid collusion except for Shigaraki decaying the whole thing.

fic is not about that tho. It's about the HPSC sitting down with Shigaraki and the League and the PLF executives trying to negotiate a deal.

“So,” Shigaraki said, single red eye from behind that awful hand staring down Hawks and the HPSC president. “You want me to go out to space, and destroy the asteroid.”

Shigaraki asks for total and eternal immunity for him and his army, and total control over Akihabara in exchange for this job. Then he changes his mind to get the whole Chiyoda Ward instead, might as well.

Toga pipes in that she wants Shinjuku, so Shigaraki adds that into the deal. Then she remembers Shibuya, so that gets added too. Seeing how they're just asking for anything, Mr. Compress wants Minato - but Shigaraki doesn't want it, too many Heroes stationed there. Compress says there's really good restaurants in Minato and besides, they can just kick all the Heroes out. Before long, they're asking for all of Tokyo as like. idk. independent city-state where the PLF rules.

ReDestro pipes up that they wanted the whole country, didn't they? Shigaraki says there's no way the government would hand that over, they rather become extinct by asteroid than lose that much dignity, so he's currently just asking for Tokyo. besides, when he comes back, they could always just try taking over the country with Tokyo serving as a base.

This is all discussed openly in front of the HPSC who tries to enter the conversation but always get shut out.

Someone eventually gets fed up and asks, Doesn't Shigaraki want to save the planet he's fucking living on?

Shigaraki shrugs, says he was planning on destroying it anyways, so not much difference. He doesn't care. (The League goes along, because they know Shigaraki knows they don't want to die either, but he needs to put up this act - and he does it so convincingly.) On the opposite end of things, tho, it's clear that HPSC/the world cares a lot but doesn't have any choice, cuz otherwise they wouldn’t have come groveling to him.

Fic ends with Shigaraki and the PLF giving a whole list of absolutely absurd demands, as well as Shigaraki requesting the whole League goes with him to space, because he knows

Heroes will definitely try to do something while he's gone

It's s p a c e

They're get to ride a freakin' spaceship.

Oh, and he's taking a a few very important hostages like world leaders and celebrities as well so Earth doesn't try to blow up the spaceship after the mission is completed.

anyways, the League goes on what's essentially an all-expenses-paid vacation to outer space. And all Shigaraki has to do is spacewalk out and touch the asteroid.

[zukkaturtleduck]

Zukka teashop au living rent free in my head because I need zukka fucking at the back of the jasmine dragon store and zukka sneaking off to make out by the lake and watching plays together

Sokka reciting funny haikus for zuko and making fun of his hair at the spikey short phase

[azu1as]

dumb atla fanfic idea: instead of jet simply stalking zuko and iroh in ba sing se. he convinces a merchant (jet definitely has the charisma to spare) to convert his stall into a tea shop. he's now rivals with iroh's teashop.

[raifuujin]

“I just don't like Gosho's use of ideas nowadays” do you have some examples? I’ve been feeling the same but I still don’t have like articulate thoughts on it

Well, 'nowadays' has been for. About ten years, ish? The most glaring example that always sticks out in my mind is the Sun Halo MK chapters, with the complete and utter waste of the very common fanfic tropes of 'Aoko gets suspicions' and 'Kid gets injured around someone'. But it kind of matches the general problem I have with his writing that I don't think used to be this bad: He's trying to stuff too much around the strict case-by-case structure (or for MK, introducing the heist-by-heist structure) without actually giving anything focus. (And for MK it's so much worse because he writes it so rarely, that he makes everyone cameo every time but they tend to just get hand waves to whatever drama plot gets instigated by Kid having his next heist.)

For DC, it's the whole. 1) Overarching plot with the BO and suspects and 'here's the available suspects for who's involved with the BO that we introduce one at a time at the end of cases and then maybe leave more clues about them during future cases'. 2) Dangling character or relationship progress and then constantly pulling it away, usually as a joke. 3) When we do occasionally get some of the major plot, it's all at once and then maybe mentioned once in the next case, but otherwise completely dropped. (Amuro and Akai and Kudo tea party tease also lingers as a 'Gosho is just evil at this point'.) Basically rigid structure that doesn't allow for much of the subplots aside from breadcrumbs.

For the current situation, it's also tied into interview comments. Which. have no bearing on the story until he actually uses them. But instead of even that, the movie gets exciting stuff instead and puts it in a giant limbo of is it meant to be canon or not, because no one has been able to settle on that for any movie, even as some details get connected back to the manga more and more.

It's bad writing. Gosho has been a bad writer for a long time, and it's kinda just getting worse. It's my opinion that it's because he tries to have his case after case after case (because mystery manga), and then stuff little bits of everything else in the seams, whether it works well with the case he's writing or if it's a good delivery or (more usually) it's just. Kinda tacked on.

It's partially because of time investment, partially because I have low standards of entertainment, and partially because I want to see how it all ends that I stick with DC. MK is. Similar, but hurts more because I really hate how it morphed into the DC structure when old MK had more you could do with it. Gosho will never drop his rigid case-by-case structure at this point, but it really would be better if he did at this point. Things need development that they're not allowed to have. Or at least smooth out the lines between his hints. And stop with Heiji and Kazuha, just. God. Stop. Is this how people felt about Kid appearances? I feel like at least when people were mad about Kid, they knew nothing was going to happen from the get go, the romance 'tease' is just painful.

[nari-writes]

Blogging (and other dangerous activities likely to get you adopted by the Batman)

Inspired by Latchkey by goldkirk

Tim wakes up to Batman in his room.

It- well, it's not fair to say it's a surprise, but seeing the looming figure in his window does make his heart seize. Even after the time Tim's spent watching him with the Robins, it's still nerve-wracking to have Gotham's nightmare show up. Especially since Batman does little to dissuade the notion that he's here on genial business.

Maybe Bruce has figured out he knows and is going to silence him. Maybe this isn't actually Batman, but Man-bat, and Tim's about to be twelve-year-old bat jerky. Maybe-

His parents are home this week though, so if he really wanted he could probably scream and get himself some thinking time; but as he takes a breath to decide what to do, Batman puts a gloved hand over his mouth.

And, ugh. It smells kinda gross. Like leather and motorcycle fumes. Probably the right Batman, but also. Super gross? Why does he smell so bad? When did he last rinse his gloves?

“You've been blogging.” Batman says, which isn't a question but is a very unhelpful non-sequitur.

“Mmrnhm?” Tim says, largely unintelligible but not entirely intending words.

What the shit. Batman's only here because of the blog?

Also, unfair. He'd had to jump through so many hoops to spoof his IP and make his own VPN and switch which library he posted from, and Batman still found him? This sucks.

“Don't scream,” Batman says, and Tim nods. Batman pulls his hand away slowly, potentially having expected Tim to lie, but Tim's not stupid. Batman doesn't have to do this nicely, even if he is a kid, and Tim also knows that if he did scream, Batman would either a) be prepared and gag him again or b) vanish, and then Tim would be in trouble with his parents. Either option sucks, so he'd rather opt for the one that lets him keep taking in the details of Batman's suit. It's hard in the dark, but still way easier than through his camera.

“It could've been my parents,” Tim says, when it seems Batman's waiting for him to answer his earlier not-question. Batman hums, and Tim wiggles back so he's against the headboard. “Yeah, I figured you'd already researched their flight times. Have to try though, right?”

“The blog. Why?”

“It's-” he starts, because there's so many reasons and he doesn't actually know which one Batman wants. Or, actually, would like the least? Probably 'I wanted to see you in action' would land with the grace of a sleep-deprived Jason Todd, but 'I was lonely' may be worse. 'I didn't expect it to blow up?' may be okay, but in the end he hesitantly settles with: “I just think that- seeing you, being- human? Or, showing you have humanity- was important.”

“Did you ever think that I wouldn't want that?” Batman asks, and Tim shifts awkwardly.

“I mean. Yes? But also, the way people- talk about you and the Robins. It sucks.”

Batman's mouth looks very displeased.

“It just, it shows that you're human!”

“How do you know?” Batman asks, and he actually kinda sounds like Bruce Wayne now, like this is a joke he's used before, and Tim thinks through what he'd been about to say very quickly and shuts his mouth with a snap. Ow. Now his teeth hurt.

Batman, on the other hand, does something to his cowl that makes him look like he's very slowly raising his eyebrow. Is it weird to think he looks tense, looks more threatening now, even though he'd literally just been looming with the promise of violence? Tim swallows hard.

“I don't?” he offers, his voice breaking, and he literally doesn't think he's ever been more humiliated by puberty. “I mean, I don't! Know you're human, that is. You could definitely be an alien if you wanted. Or a spirit of revenge, or-” Tim flops backward on his bed and pulls his blanket over his head. “I shouldn't be so bad at this,” he mumbles, and doesn't think about he's definitely going to die because Batman's suspicious and Tim's an idiot when he's tired.

Batman is damningly silent, but when Tim finally, hesitantly, peeks his eyes out from the hem of his blanket, the Dark Knight is still standing in his room. Actually, he's half-hunched over Tim's desk, looking at the corkboard of Tim's photos and reminders. He reaches out, and Tim's heart thuds. “Oh, please don't!” he says instinctively when Batman grazes Tim's camera. Batman stops and tilts his head over his shoulder to look, and Tim swallows down the anxiety clogging his throat. “Please don't take my camera. I can get another one but I- that one was-”

“Stop taking photos of us.” Batman says, short and to the point.

“Stop posting them to the blog?” Tim offers, and this makes Batman turn around properly, looking at him head-on again. He's judging Tim, now, and Tim wonders what part of him will be found wanting. In Batman's eyes is Tim's wealth a precursor to change or stagnation? Does he think Tim should be doing more with his life? Or does he simply expect that this is a rich kid's hobby, no sentimentality involved? Bruce Wayne took his billions and made himself a hero and Tim knows he can't do the same, considering his parents are in charge of the Drake fortune, but there's probably a million other things he could be doing that don't involve stalking superheroes.

“You're a child,” Batman says slowly, and his voice has lost the harder overture that's affected his speech so far. “When Batman is out, it is late, and dark, and dangerous. You are a child and shouldn't be anywhere near-”

“I don't go close!” Tim protests, “I'm not stupid!”

“There are always people in Gotham. What does it matter if you're not in the area of the most danger when you're still in danger?”

“I'm not stupid,” Tim protests with a hiss that contains more vitriol than it really should, considering his conversation partner, but he can't help it. “If you never saw me how'd you think anyone else could?”

“How do you know I never saw you?” Batman asks, like a challenge, and Tim scoffs.

“Come on, you think I don't know that if you saw me out there, you'd have me thrown in the back of the Batmobile and at the closest precinct before I could blink? Jason almost-” Tim freezes, then quickly blurts, “-before he took your tires, and got adopted by Bruce Wayne, Jason tried to do the same thing whenever he saw me. I know what I look like, to people in Crime Alley.”

Shoot, shoot, shoot, this is actively a terrible lie; Batman only needs to ask Jason when he met Tim and the whole thing would be blown. And, also, name-dropping a specific kid, like Batman would remember who stole his tires? The connection is tenuous at best and damning at worst.

“You've been taking photographs of us since you were eight?” Batman asks, sounding horrified, and Tim winces internally. Please forgive me, Robin, he whispers in the back of his mind, and then says with all the glib disdain he can muster:

“Well, you let Robin go out when he was barely older than me. It's the same thing.”

He has never seen Batman do a full-body wince before. He's not entirely sure he could get Batman to do it again, and wonders if he should add it to his board of accomplishments. He’d have to encode it if he did, even if the board’s mostly for his own reference, but imagining it pinned up next to his photography awards is making him feel a bit hysterical. Then again, that could also be the fact that Batman is still in his room and Tim is lying.

“He was not eight-”

“I just think that unless the same orders get applied to him I think you're being a bit of a hypocrite. He’s actively in more danger than I am, considering he ends up in grabbing range of Rouges and I don’t.”

“I will be telling your parents,” Batman growls, and this time Tim smirks.

“Yeah? And how do you think that's going to go for you?” Tim can almost exactly imagine it: there's no way his parents will believe Batman, because it's crazy and they'd be freaking out over Batman in their house, and if he does it as Bruce Wayne it'd be a crazy coincidence for Tim Drake, known genius, to have access to. If Tim hadn't already solved their identities, that connection alone would probably tip him off.

Well, maybe Batman wouldn't think about the potential implications - academic strengths don't always translate to detective-solving skills, and it's just Batman's misfortune that in Tim's case it's a little bit the other way around. Detective skills that he's carefully and stubbornly honed have led him to a dogged dedication to his studies.

“Robin is a trained professional,” Batman says, and Tim volleys back with,

“Yeah and I'm not doing the same thing he is at all, so my standards can be different.”

“Tim Drake,” Batman says, this time actively growling his name, and Tim doesn’t know if he should cackle or wince. For one thing, he’s pretty sure Batman has lost this verbal volley, which is why he’s pulling out the doom and darkness voice.

On the other, this is the voice he uses on men triple Tim’s size and with twice the bravery (and crazy), and having the full force of it directed at him makes his stomach drop. He clutches his blankets, fabric pulled tight, and tries to pretend his hands aren’t shaking.

“The blog is being removed - do not start it again. I will not see you on Gotham’s streets again during my patrol.”

The lens of his mask are so narrow that the white is barely visible. He holds Tim’s gaze, like he’s imparting the orders, like he’s checking to see Tim’s fear will keep him obedient, and then nods slowly. The cape swishes behind him as he puts Tim’s camera back on the desk, and then he’s leaving. Leaving, and Tim’s secrets are safe and he is unharmed and undeterred.

“You won’t,” Tim whispers as Batman slips out his window and into the dark.

[motleyfam]

PLEASE COULD WE MAYBE GET LIKE A VIBE OF WHAT THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SETTLE OUR BONES IS GOING TO BE ABOUT NO PRESSURE JUST CURIOUS

The vibe is it’s kicking my ass 😂

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Alice in Borderland characters at Thanksgiving

I am aware that this is incredibly dumb because Japan doesn’t have Thanksgiving lol but I just thought this would be funny. So enjoy!

Arisu

I could see Arisu not even being there because his family sucks and doing a little Friendsgiving thing with Karube and Chota instead

But for fun, let’s say he does go

He’s become a master at finding places to hide and play his games and knowing when and how many times to resurface to make it seem like he isn’t hiding

Sits at the kids table

The kids definitely love him more than the adults

He encourages his cousins to steal money to pay for Fortnite skins

He ends up being the one the shyer kids open up to about their interests, and lets them because he of all people knows how it feels to get put down for your allegedly stupid interests

He (begrudgingly) lets his little girl cousins drag him to the bathroom to raid the makeup drawers and put makeup on him

He dramatically gasps and tells the girls he loves it to make them happy though

Doesn’t get involved in the family drama, but definitely loves to watch the shit go down

Avoids his more conservative relatives and their political conversations like the plague

Karube

Last to arrive, first to leave

Also sits at the kids table because they’re way more fun than the adults

He gets food with his shyer cousins so they don’t have to go by themselves

His designated contribution is the alcohol (he also brings pop for the kids)

Sometimes he’ll make a side dish and it’s always surprisingly completely eaten by the time the night’s over

Tries not to get involved in the political debates… but he almost always gets involved because of that one homophobic uncle

That one homophobic uncle always leaves with a black eye

He watches the family drama and definitely spills the tea to Arisu and Chota at their Friendsgiving

Chota

First to arrive and is immediately put to work in the kitchen

He helps cook everything and actually gets stressed out himself in the process

He texts Arisu and Karube that he’s a horrible cook everything will taste awful this is a disaster… then two minutes later goes “Oh ok the pudding’s thickening now nevermind”

His aunts love how helpful he is and always says he’s such a Sweet Boy for helping them

Also sits at the kids table (let’s just say most of these characters sit at the kids table lol)

Knows from being Arisu’s friend that some kids will hide by themselves for a while, so he tries to make sure they don’t miss out on dinner and dessert

Has become a master at guilt tripping his more conservative family members

If one of his uncles starts saying trans kids have something wrong with them, he turns to him with the look of a kicked puppy and tearfully asks him why he would say something so mean

He doesn’t get involved in the family drama and doesn’t know the context, but when the shit starts going down he texts Karube and Arisu live updates

“Oh shit Aunt Janet told Aunt Carol she’s jealous she doesn’t have a husband OH SHIT AUNT CAROL THREW HER DRINK AT HER WHILE I WAS TYPING THAT”

Usagi

Doesn’t like Thanksgiving because of both the history behind it and her family, but always decides to suck it up and go anyway

Arisu keeps inviting her to Friendsgiving, but she doesn’t want to impose on the guys’ little tradition

If nothing else, than at least she won’t have to cook dinner for herself for once

She quietly helps out in the kitchen

If she brings anything, she brings a side dish that’s not too difficult to make

Either sits at the kids table or sits by herself

She sadly becomes the relative that listens intently to everyone else’s stories and chatter, but gets cut off when she tries to talk about what she’s been up to

She doesn’t get involved in any political debates, but has become an expert at humbling relatives who have awful takes with Judging Looks

She does get a little vindictive enjoy from telling her male relatives that politics makes them really emotional and she doesn’t want to talk to them when they’re so high-strung

Shares the family drama that goes down with Arisu and they laugh about it together

Chishiya

Hates Thanksgiving and everything about it

Only goes for three things: the food, the wine, and the drama

Inadvertently ends up becoming the babysitter of his toddler-age cousins

He has no idea why or how, but at least the toddlers provide some entertainment

Never brings anything, except a bottle of wine that he exclusively keeps for himself

(And maybe his teenage cousins if he feels like being an enabler)

He could hypothetically destroy any of his conservative relatives in a political debate, but chooses not to because he thinks it’s a waste of time

If there’s one thing he does live for at Thanksgiving though, it’s the drama

He’s the one who keeps track of it all and fills family members in on the context of the powder keg that’s exploded this year

“Yes, Aunt Janet, we’re all aware of your devotion to essential oils. It’s too bad you couldn’t find one to keep Uncle Carl from divorcing you.” he says, calmly taking a sip of wine.

Hatter

He’s been designated as the one who brings the wine because he always gets the best

Always arrives fashionably late in a flurry of flashy yet tasteful clothes and cologne

He probably ends up drinking more wine than eating the food

Jumps between sitting at the kids table and sitting with the adults

He’ll sit at the kids table because he always manages to get the kids (or Little Gremlins, as he’s affectionately nicknamed them) to spill the hot gossip to him

He’s become the relative that the younger queer relatives feel the safest coming out to

Because this man is as pan as the day is long and you cannot change my mind

Listen I genuinely feel like if I came out as non-binary to him he would cheer loudly, ask me my pronouns, then get me a celebratory drink

If any of the kids accidentally get drunk on Thanksgiving, it’s entirely his fault

He LIVES for the family drama

He not only participates, but actively instigates it

“Tell me, Carol, is Ken having another affair or was it your bleached blonde head I saw blowing him in his car?”

Then he sends Aguni pictures of Ken’s face as he tries to explain himself to a fuming Carol

Niragi

Always makes sure to bring a main course dish to show off how good at cooking he is

If any of his relatives tell him his cooking sucks, he laughs and flips them off

The one all the other cousins are scared of

And yet the one the great-aunts and grandmothers all think is a nice boy

Somehow gets along with his youngest cousins the best (they’re not old enough to think he’s weird yet lol)

Eggs on their roughhousing

His four-year-old cousin is kicking his sister, his sister is kicking back, and there’s Niragi on the couch with them going “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Could outdrink his uncles and does

Absolutely hates football games. Only puts up with them because he likes to make bets with his relatives and win every time.

Fuels the fervor of political debates by being a troll, just sits there and grins like he thinks Uncle Jim is so fucking stupid for having such incorrect opinions.

Eggs on drama from the sidelines.

Aunt Carol and Aunt Janet are squabbling, and he’s off to the side with a glass of wine going like “OHHH, are you gonna let her talk to you that way, Aunt Carol???”

Just contributes to all the chaos and does not help fix any of it lol