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Chapter 14: Miss Not-So-Innocent - Part 1
Previous chapter here. 8.4k words
“Hey, by the way, how’s it going with Tiffany?”
“Hm?”
Jessica showed up an hour or so after Parker had finished dinner. Seeing that she arrived in her pajamas, Parker was about to turn her away when she said she just wanted to hang out and was feeling a little lonely. He knew Hunter had to leave the state for an emergency for one of the hotels he was responsible for—a safety threat of some kind—leaving Jessica by herself for a few days now, so he shrugged and let her in. Fortunately, Jessica stayed true to her word, joining him in watching a volleyball match in the living room and doing nothing more.
In fact, with how much Parker’s been interacting with Jessica recently due to work, casual conversations in the office in which the subject of sex didn’t come up even in subtle, teasing jest were becoming more and more frequent. It was nice, even if Jessica had called him into her office the other day to coat his penis with some weird stuff while she kept it erect for a few minutes and refused to elaborate further afterwards. Otherwise, however, their conversations were … exceedingly normal. It’s only been a week, but having normal interactions with Jessica was a nice breath of fresh air. When she wasn’t dragging him to film pornos or dragging him into her office to be railed with her tits hanging out the windows, Jessica was a very charming, very likeable person. So, Parker’s guard slowly but surely dropped, to the point that he had pretty much forgotten that Jessica was sitting next to him on the couch until she posed the question.
“Pretty…” Parker racked his brain for any possible way he might’ve wronged Tiffany that would thus elicit the question from Jessica. Was it that kiss? But she didn’t seem to mind that much … was there anything else? Did he find some other way to mess up? “…good?”
Seeing Parker’s hesitation, Jessica laughed. “Relax, I’ve heard from Tiffany but want to hear from you too.”
Hearing that, Parker let out a sigh. “Yeah. Pretty good. I took her mini-golfing and then had seafood for dinner. It was a ton of fun, at least for me, but…”
“Hm?”
With how socially aware Jessica was, Parker was really hoping he wouldn’t have to spell it out for her. “Well … you know, how—what’d you hear about it from her?”
When Jessica stayed silent for a few seconds, Parker’s heart plummeted. Was it that bad?
“Do you want to know how Tiffany reacted to watching that porno we shot?”
Parker didn’t know what he thought Jessica said at first. He had to do a triple-take to fully understand it, and when he did, “Ti—” actually, was he hearing correctly? “—Tiffany?!”
“Hm?”
“You showed that to her?!”
Jessica met Parker’s bewilderment with a nonchalant smile. “Yeah. Don’t worry though, she loved it. You should’ve seen how red her face was.” In the back of Parker’s mind, he had to admit that the sight would’ve been really endearing. “But, I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t know we fuck on a regular basis.”
Parker groaned. Was that a good sign? What did Jessica’s answer even mean? “But … ah, but that’s … and she knows it was us?”
“Mhm.”
Parker’s mind was beginning to short circuit. The fact that Jessica was so jovial about this was a good thing, right? “And she knew it was us when she asked to see it?”
“Mmhm.”
“And … she really watched it, all the way through?”
“Yep.”
“And she … she liked it?”
Jessica laughed. “Yeah! Why are you asking me so many questions?”
“I mean … are you sure it was ok to show Tiffany something like that?”
“Well yeah, considering she was the one who insisted on watching it.”
Parker’s jaw dropped. “She—” if it wasn’t Jessica who was telling him this, he never in a million years would’ve believed it. Heck, even though it was Jessica, Parker was still unsure if he believed that. “—she wanted to watch it?”
“Yep. I know, I was surprised too.”
The adorable, wide-eyed Tiffany, who could barely say the words ‘sex’ or ‘fuck’ without turning beet red, who was hesitant to even ask for a goodbye kiss after their last date … that Tiffany asked to see a porno her best friend and said date featured in?
“I can see that you don’t believe me.”
“I mean, you can understand why, though.”
“Yeah. I teased Tiff about it for days.” There was laughter in Jessica’s voice, and a little bit within Parker himself, he couldn’t help but feel bad for her. “You know, you two are so darn cute together!” Unable to contain the excited schoolgirl inside her any longer, she let out a squeal so loud that Parker jumped. “I knew you’d be perfect for each other! You should’ve heard her squealing to me about how perfect you are after every single one of your dates!”
Hearing that put Parker a bit more at ease. “Well, glad to hear it. Just, go easy on her, alright?”
“Aw, worried about your girl?”
“She’s not—” Parker stopped, realizing Jessica wasn’t going to listen no matter how firmly he denied it.
“I mean, she pretty much is, right?”
“What?”
Jessica’s grin grew wider. “Come on, you don’t think Tiff didn’t fill me in on all the deets about your dates? How you got a discount at that restaurant for being a ‘really cute couple’, how you kissed her goodnight in front of her parents after that one date, and how that turned into an impromptu first meeting with them, and how they ended up adoring you?” Parker groaned. He could feel the tips of his ears turning redder by the second: he just wanted to smash his head into the couch’s armrest, but the rally going on in the volleyball match was too intense to turn his eyes away from.
“Jess—”
“Oh, and of course, on your most recent date, where you gave her a pad when she forgot to put extras in her purse?!” Parker was now convinced: the reason why Jessica was so giddy about Tiffany getting together with him was so that she could tease both of them relentlessly. Never mind what he thought before, about Jessica being incredibly likeable: she was the Devil herself. “I’ve heard from Tiff’s parents about male friends of hers they disapprove of. But to think you managed to charm them after kissing their daughter goodnight?! That’s almost unheard of! No, scratch that, that is absolutely unheard of!”
“Can you please stop?”
Jessica let out a giggle. “You and Tiff both, the way your voices get so quiet and your ears turn so red, are just too adorable.”
After a brief pause, Parker spoke back up. “So, you know how I only asked you twenty-two questions about Tiffany?” Jessica nodded. “I’m going to use one of them now.” Sensing the seriousness in his voice, the smile faded from her face. “Are you one-hundred-percent sure Tiffany is willing to have an open relationship?” This was the one hangup that was preventing Parker from asking Tiffany to be his girlfriend. Going out with Tiffany while fucking her best friend just felt wrong. Spending time with Tiffany, talking to her, just being around her made Parker feel like he was on cloud nine, but that thought lingering in the back of his mind prevented him from fully enjoying it. He wouldn’t put it past Tiffany to simply be too nice to acquiesce with an open relationship when she, in reality, wasn’t. Or maybe she even gaslit herself into believing that she was. “I mean, maybe you’re not the right person to ask, but…”
“Yeah … I know, right? A sweet, innocent, traditionalist girl like Tiffany? Especially after what she went through?” Parker didn’t respond, continuing to watch the match. Parker figured Jessica was talking about the troublesome experience Tiffany had with an ex, but seeing as how she kept her wording vague, he didn’t pry. “I’ve talked to her a lot about it, reassuring her I’d be willing to give up on my competition with Hunter in a heartbeat for her, but every time, she said that she’s sure about it.”
“I … I see.”
It set Parker’s mind at ease somewhat, but still didn’t fully clear up the muddiness in his mind about the topic. He would just have to talk to Tiffany about it.
“Have you two fucked since the first time?”
Parker snorted. “What—what are you asking all of the sudden?!”
Jessica just smiled. “So, that’s a no?”
“No! For your information, it’s already not normal to have had sex with someone before starting to date them.”
“That’s such a waste though, with how hot Tiff is and how much of a blast you two were having last time.” Parker’s face flushed a little at that memory. It was true that having sex with Tiffany was great, and he would be lying if he said that he never thought about it, but Parker prioritized taking the proper steps in their relationship first. He was thankful for Jessica for introducing them, but he didn’t need her to influence it with her salacious tendencies.
“It’ll happen when it happens.”
“That might be sooner than you think. I’m pretty sure Tiffany is—” the notification sound of a phone interrupted her, and when Jessica whipped hers out to check it, she got up. “—sorry, my friend just got here, she’s in the lobby. We were supposed to hang out, but do you mind if she comes here?”
No. No, no no no. He wasn’t going to get roped into this again. He didn’t care how unlikely it seemed that this friend of Jessica’s would want to have sex with him, he had gotten caught off guard too many times with thoughts like surely not or but this is too far-fetched or Jessica isn’t this insane to disregard that possibility.
“I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“Oh, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”
“But she came to hang out with you, right?”
“I’m sure she’d love to meet you.”
What was Jessica doing here? Did this friend know about him for some reason? Sure, if Parker was visiting a friend, he wouldn’t mind meeting a friend of his friend’s, but saying he’d love to was stretching it a bit. Maybe this friend just liked meeting new people … otherwise, Parker couldn’t shake off the paranoid feeling that this was going where he feared it might be going. “I’m nothing special.”
“I beg to differ, you’re my husband’s best friend. Such a man is not ‘nothing special’.”
Parker sighed. He knew where this was going: they would go back and forth until Jessica made him feel guilty for refusing to accommodate this friend of hers. In fact, they didn’t even need to go back-and-forth much more, he was already starting to feel that guilt, but trying to disregard it to fend off his paranoia felt a moot task. “If she really wants to come over, then yeah, she can.”
“Great! I’ll be right back!”
In the few minutes Jessica took to retrieve her friend, Parker weighed the possibility that he would be roped into more shenanigans. If she was even able to rope Tiffany in, then what about her friends who were more like her? Parker didn’t really know many of Jessica’s friends, but from what little he heard about them from Tiffany, she was more so the odd-one-out than the normal one. Given, in that context, it seemed like Tiffany was joking, so all Parker could hope was that Tiffany was exaggerating a bit for comedic effect.
When a knock came at the door, Parker jumped out of his seat. “Coming!” Opening the door, he was greeted with the smiling visage of Jessica and one other, slightly shorter but truly breathtakingly beautiful woman. If Parker was tasked with the objective to sculpt the most aesthetically pleasing face he could imagine, this woman would’ve easily beaten the product of his imagination. Parker didn’t know what it was with Jessica and having the most attractive friends, but she was an almost mystical, ethereal beauty that he almost couldn’t believe existed in the real world. Her skin was fair, unblemished, and porcelain white; her hair jet black, silky smooth, stopping at her chest; the only thing that could be said about her was that her slim figure didn’t make way for many curves, but even that seemed to suit her pure, innocent visuals well. Above all else, though, was how well her facial features fit on her face: her eyes were large, her eyelashes long, her eyebrows perfectly trimmed, her nose slim and long, her lips full, her cheekbones protruding and her perfectly aligned teeth shining white against his apartment’s lights.
“Parker, this is Irene, a childhood f—…”
Jessica abruptly cut herself off, looking over at the other woman, who gave her an encouraging nod, emphatically interjecting, “Friend!”
“—friend of mine.”
“Hi!” The luminescent woman stepped in and embraced the significantly taller man in a hug, a gesture which momentarily caught him off guard. “Oh wow, you’re pretty tall.”
“Uh—” He had never met Irene before, so being introduced with such a friendly gesture stunned him for a brief second. “—yeah, sorry.”
“Oh, no need to apologize! It would probably be easy to tackle you, I would just have to duck a little and your arms would go right over my head!”
Parker let out an utterly bewildered chuckle. “Wh-What?”
“See?” Irene demonstrated by doing exactly what she said, ducking a little and wrapping her arms around his torso, planting her face against the bottom of his sternum. “It goes right over,” she said, tilting her head upwards to see Parker’s arms swiping at open air.
“Yeah … I guess it does…” Parker looked over at Jessica who was just looking at the two with a bemused smile. He shot her a confused glance, to which she replied with a shrug.
Irene released Parker, squatting down to pick up a package she had dropped to hug him. It was only then that Parker noticed it. “What’s that?”
“Oh, it’s just something Jessica asked me to pick up for her.”
“…Right, gotcha.” The vague answer reminded Parker of the hesitation with this entire ordeal, something that Irene’s effervescent introduction had caused him to forget. Did he really want to know what that package contained? Did he even care? Why didn’t they drop it off at Jessica’s place, which was right next door, first? None of these were questions he was going to get answers to anyway, so Parker just kept them to himself.
“Were you watching volleyball?”
“Yeah. Do you watch?”
“Nope!”
The answer, again, caught Parker off guard. With the amount of enthusiasm Irene asked the question, Parker figured she recognized the teams or at least had some degree of interest in the sport. “Oh.” Usually, Parker was able to carry a conversation better and more naturally. With Irene, he couldn’t even formulate a proper response in his mind.
“Oh—oh my gosh, they’re hitting that ball so fast! I can’t imagine intentionally letting that hit my own arms.”
Well, that was something to work with at least. “Yeah, those spikes can get up to sixty miles-per-hour.”
“Don’t you need to be tall to play volleyball?” Irene turned to face Parker. “You’re pretty tall, right? Have you ever played it?”
“Me? No, I just like to watch. I’m probably on the shorter side for volleyball players, honestly.”
Hearing that made Irene’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. “Really?! Wow … I probably wouldn’t even have to duck to tackle them.”
Another chuckle escaped Parker’s lips. “Why would you want to tackle them?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t it fun to tackle people sometimes?”
“I don’t…” Parker trailed off, completely unable to formulate a response. “…Jessica, how do you keep up with her?”
Jessica smiled. “I don’t. I just let her say whatever she wants.”
“Hm…”
Irene didn’t seem to mind, plopping down on the sofa and setting the package down next to her. “Oh wait, number nine is pretty hot, isn’t he?”
“Hm?” Jessica turned towards the TV screen, finding the player with the corresponding jersey. “Yeah, he is.”
“How tall is he? Do you know?”
Irene turned towards Parker, who could only shrug. “My guess is somewhere between six-two and six-five.”
“Holy … that’s a bit too tall, isn’t it? I mean, if someone’s that tall, would I even have to kneel to give him a blowjob?”
Parker let out a hacking cough. “Wha-What?”
“I mean, you’d probably have to bend down a little. Like, for Parker, I can still kneel and be level with his dick, but I need to pull it down a little while straining my neck up a little to compensate.”
“Oh, I see. But what if their penis isn’t as big? Then wouldn’t it be slightly harder to pull it down to the level of your face while kneeling?”
“Oh, that may be true…” What the hell kind of a conversation were they having? And why were they speaking about it so casually? And especially in front of someone else? “So I guess you’d have to squat or something.”
“Hmm … wouldn’t it be pretty hot to be riding one of their dicks while another one of them stuffed your mouth from above?” Jessica pondered it, not seeming to be very convinced of the idea. Parker, on the other hand, was still recovering from the whiplash from the stream of vulgar words coming out of the mouth of the woman with contrastingly angelic, pure visuals. “Or maybe they could spitroast you with your feet off the ground, or maybe even suspend you in midair while fucking you in both your pussy and your ass.”
“Hm … I’m pretty sure Hunter’s a little shorter than Parker, but the suspended spitroast idea sounds so hot…” Parker, no longer feeling comfortable with the conversation, slowly got up and off the couch, but before he could escape, Jessica grabbed ahold of his arm. “Where are you going?”
“Uh … bathroom?”
“Right there,” Jessica motioned towards Irene, who simply shot Parker a smile.
“What?”
“There’s your urinal,” she repeated, Irene opening her mouth in tandem.
Parker scoffed. “Wha-What are you even saying?”
“What she’s saying is that you’re free to use me like a toilet.”
Oh god, now there were two of them. He knew it—he knew it was a bad idea to let Jessica invite her friend into his apartment. Why was he so soft on her? “I’m not—” hearing Parker sigh caused the two to burst into a fit of giggles. “—you tw—what’s wrong with you, Jessica?”
“Huh? Were you about to ask Irene what’s wrong with her?”
“What?” Irene’s face took on an exaggerated look of offense. “How could you? All I did was offer my mouth as your urinal.”
“Like—” Even when there was one Jessica, Parker often found himself overwhelmed with how sexually and kinkily she spoke. “—I, like, I mean, you realize why that’s a really—” But now that there was a second one just as sexual and kinky, if not more so … how was he supposed to react? “—that’s, like, you know, not … normal … not a normal thing to say?”
Irene shrugged. “Normal’s boring.”
Oh. Was this where Jessica got that idea from?
“Right…”
“Well?”
“Hm?”
“You need to go to the bathroom, right?”
“No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t use Irene’s mouth. I mean, I just met her, you know.”
“Oh, but she knows all about you.”
That couldn’t be good. How could he escape? But this was his apartment. Where could he even run to?
“I really don’t want to know—”
“She watched our porno.”
“God damn it, is there anyone you didn’t show that to?”
Jessica giggled. “Just like one or two more friends, don’t worry.” That was not the answer Parker was hoping Jessica would give him, but he figured he should be thankful it was only one or two more of her friends.
“Can I see it?” Irene couldn’t be talking about what he thought she might be talking about. There was no way. A woman he met just minutes ago for the first time … surely, she wasn’t asking to see his—“I want to see your dick for myself.”
Parker could only laugh. Ordinarily, having such a beautiful woman request such a thing would’ve been at least somewhat humbling, but given the situation, Parker couldn’t feel anything less than absolutely and utterly bewildered. Not only was it difficult to keep up with another Jessica, but the implication that something about the porno made Irene want to see his penis in person made Parker’s mind spin. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know why that was, but now he had to grapple with that fact with the eager-eyed woman sitting on the other side of the couch from him. “Jessica, what…?”
“Oh, I forgot, you probably didn’t watch. There were some shots that made your penis look amazing, so I’d say Irene’s reaction is understandable.”
That wasn’t what Parker was trying to ask Jessica in the slightest, nor did he really understand Jessica’s explanation of Irene’s reaction, so he ended up just saying, “No, I—I’m, I’m not—I mean, I literally just met you, why would you want to go there already?”
Irene furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Do I need to know someone for a while to see their dick?” Was she being serious? Either Irene was the best actress in the world, or she actually didn’t see an issue with her proposal. “I mean, people have one-night stands all the time, don’t they?”
“I mean—” Parker had to admit Irene had a point. But still … his brain was starting to hurt. It really was too much, trying to keep up with two Jessicas at the same time. “—no, I guess, but…”
“…But what? Did you want to see my tits first? I mean, they aren’t anything too impressive, especially compared to Jessica, but—” Parker stopped Irene as she moved to throw her short off.
“No! That wasn’t what I was trying to say. It’s just … I thought you came here to hang out with Jessica?”
“Um … I thought she invited me over to introduce me to you.” It was only then that Parker remembered Jessica mentioning introducing a childhood friend to him a week ago.
“Ah, right…” Thinking back on it, Jessica’s description of her at the time matched Irene pretty well: her figure wasn��t the best, but she was insanely beautiful. Parker just wished Jessica had given him a better heads up as to what kind of a person she was. Then again, she was Jessica’s friend. “…but that wasn’t the impression I got from Jessica.”
“…whoops, forgot to tell you?”
Parker rolled his eyes and sighed. “Well, now that you’ve introduced us…”
A brief silence followed in which the two ladies exchanged glances. Whatever telepathy that transpired between the two, the result was Irene saying, “I guess Jessica didn’t tell you much about me.”
Parker shook his head. “Sorry, not really.”
“Well, basically, all you need to know is that I have a breeding kink.” Again, Parker was caught off guard, letting out a hacking cough. “I came here because I want you to pump me so full of cum, my womb will have no choice but to give me a baby.”
That was a hell of a proposal, but what was Parker even supposed to do with it? Sure, Irene was definitely attractive enough to elicit a positive desire to acquiesce with that demand, but first off, why him, specifically? Was it because of that porno? The way she worded it … ‘my womb will have no choice but to give me a baby’ … Parker didn’t want to pry, but it almost sounded like Irene had tried multiple times before and had failed just as many times. But why would he have any better of a shot than all the other presumed guys she’s had in the past?
He felt like Irene was burdening him with a task, and the expectant way she was looking at him reinforced that.
“Ordinarily, I would want proof that you were tested recently for STIs, but since Jessica vouched for you, that’s not necessary. I have my own STI test report from last week in case you wanted to see it for yourself.” Irene handed him a bundle of papers that Parker briefly looked at—not that he was that interested in them, more so because he was so perplexed that looking at the bundle of papers placed in his hand was a reflexive action to being handed them. “Also, if you do manage to impregnate me, I promise to not burden you with child support. I can sign a contract if you’d like. I have one here,” she said, procuring another bundle of papers from her purse.
“Um…” Parker was overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn’t because of her eccentricity. It was almost like a business transaction, except it was one of those too-good-to-be-true proposals that had to be a scam. But if it was, where was the detriment to himself? This was Jessica’s friend, after all: would she try to scam a friend of her friend?
All this preparation reinforced his theory that Irene had done this with multiple other men, but aside from that, Parker didn’t know what else to think. Irene certainly seemed determined, even if she had said everything with the same jovial expression on her face. Thinking about the amount of times Irene must’ve tried and failed to become impregnated made him feel bad for her, even if he didn’t know why it was that Irene so badly wanted a child. But the question remained: why did he have to be the next one to try to knock her up?
“Come on, Parker—Irene’s giving you a free pass to fuck her until you’ve emptied your balls inside her. When’s the next opportunity to fuck someone like Irene without worrying about any consequences going to come up?”
Parker didn’t want to admit that Jessica had a point, but first… “Just to make sure—you aren’t in a relationship, right?” Irene shook her head. There was one concern gone, but with that, another arose. “Then … I’m sorry if this is insensitive, but do you mind telling me why you want a baby so badly?”
“Well, they’re so cute, aren’t they? Ever since I was little, I’ve loved kids, but guys don’t really like me, so I decided I’ll just raise one myself.” Parker didn’t believe Irene in the slightest when she said that guys didn’t like her, but there had to be a basis for that. What that was wasn’t Parker’s business to determine. In the corner of his eyes, he could also see Jessica shift uncomfortably a little, but he didn’t want to try to read into things. “Having sex with a bunch of different kinds of people is just a bonus. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with someone as huge as you, though.”
Parker almost felt like he had to accept Irene’s proposal, which was weird because no man in his right mind would reject a chance to have sex with her. If they had met at a bar and Irene proposed to go back to his place, they might’ve had a one-night stand even if he didn’t know her ultimate goal with the sex. But… “So … you brought Irene over to have sex with me?”
“…Yeah?”
Sometimes, Parker wished he could dive into Jessica’s head to figure out why she didn’t find it weird that she did this. If Parker had a nickel every time Jessica brought over a friend with the explicit purpose of getting the two of them to have sex, Parker would have two nickels, which wasn’t that many nickels but it was weird it happened twice. Or maybe it wasn’t weird, considering this was Jessica. Did this mean he could anticipate Jessica doing this more in the future? If he and Tiffany became a couple, what would that say about him as a boyfriend, even if Tiffany stated she was fine with being in an open relationship? At least right now, he and Tiffany weren’t an item, but if they ever did, could he, in good conscience, do this?
“You gotta stop pimping me out.”
“Well, think about it like this: you get to fuck a bunch of hot women, and my friends get to experience your cock. It’s a win-win!”
“So, is that a no then?”
At the point they were in, needing to talk about being exclusive to each other was implied, but with what Jessica said … of all people, Jessica, the best friend of the woman he was seeing, who so woefully begged Parker to take care of Tiffany well, telling him Tiffany said that it was fine for him to have sex with other women … and to top it all off, as much as Parker tried to stave off the feeling, he could feel himself getting turned on ever so slightly. Was he bad for feeling this way? It felt wrong in so many ways, but when such an amazingly attractive woman was pushing herself onto him like this, wasn’t feeling turned on natural? No, a man with principles would be able to turn her away. But, then again, a man of principles might also claim that it was a man’s duty to acquiesce to the demands of a woman in need, and Irene was presenting herself to him as exactly that. “Well, first of all, let’s move.”
Just as he moved to stand up, Irene pushed him back down onto the couch. “Nope. I’m way too horny now. Do you mind?” Irene asked, her fingers looping around his pants.
“Wha—um—” Not that he wasn’t used to very forward women, but the eagerness with which Irene situated herself between his legs stunned him for a second. “—n-no, I guess?”
Off came his pants and boxers, and out came his mostly-limp dick. “Ooh, wow…” Irene’s dainty fingers brushed against his member. Parker felt his lower half tense up, his dick twitching at the soft sensations of her fingers wrapping around his shaft. “You’re not even hard yet, huh?”
Shit. Parker wasn’t mentally prepared yet, so, scrambling to answer, he stammered out a, “not really.”
“Hmm…” Irene’s fingers wrapped more tightly around him. With each firm tug and jerk, the soft reproductive organ grew more and more erect. “It’s so beautiful, too…”
Parker blinked, then let out a chuckle. “What?”
“Isn’t it?”
Irene turned to Jessica, who nodded in response. “It is!”
“What…” the question died in his throat. Not that he’s seen many other penises, but Parker figured his was pretty average, appearance-wise. What about it was aesthetically pleasing? He knew he probably wasn’t going to get a very good answer though, so he let the question die in his throat.
“Wow, and it’s still getting bigger.”
Figuring it was pointless to continue ponder about the morality of the situation, Parker shifted his mind towards Irene. The slightly deeper breaths Parker was taking gradually turned into gasps and hisses, his erection hardening and growing with every stroke. “Mmm…”
The fact that Jessica was very avidly watching didn’t help at all. Parker shot her a glare, but she just responded with a confused expression, her drawn-together eyebrows asking him ‘what?’. He didn’t have high hopes that would drive Jessica away, but Irene didn’t even seem to mind. She continued stroking him, egging it on further by planting chaste kisses along its hardening length.
“You said it was … seven inches?”
“Yea—”
“Seven point five,” Jessica interjected.
Parker had felt it irrelevant to correct such a minute difference, but of course Jessica would know the precise measurement, and of course she would be the one to correct Irene.
“Oh, god … so this is what seven-point-five looks like, huh?” Irene said in marvel, staring at his now fully-erect penis.
“Yeah. How do you feel, finally seeing it in person now?”
Parker tried not to think about the implications of Jessica’s use of the word ‘finally’. He, for a brief moment, wondered if women talked about the porn they watched and if they used it, but knowing it was Jessica and a slightly smaller and less curvy Jessica, he realized it was pointless to even wonder about it. “It’s … amazing. I thought they must’ve spent some serious budget to make his cock look so mouth-wateringly appealing, but now I realize the camera didn’t do it justice.”
“This is so weird.”
“Hm? What is?”
Parker could only gape at the clueless Irene. “Wha-What? What isn’t?”
“Oh, I guess you would want me to at least do this shirtless, huh?”
“That’s not—” Parker’s interjection fell upon deaf ears, Irene proceeding to throw off her shirt and revealing her breasts. The loose top she wore hid how well-developed they actually were, but they still probably couldn’t fill Parker’s palm. That didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate them, though: with its even paler, milky white color tightly stretching across her chest, each mound decorated with a golf-ball sized, light-brown areola with two equally squeezable-looking nubs sitting in the center, they were as pleasant a sight to look at as the rest of her. “—what I meant in the slightest, but ok.”
“Hm? What did you mean, then?”
“I mean, Jessica’s right there.”
“So?”
Parker shook his head. He should know better than to try to appeal to common sense with a Jessica. “Never mind.”
Irene gave him a smile, giving his shaft a few more firm pumps before saying, “You’re funny,” then swallowing his tip whole in one swift motion.
“Agh—” Irene didn’t stop until she was halfway down his length, and by then, he could feel her throat tightening around his cock. “—ah, Irene—”
Irene, on the other hand, had placed hands on either side of his inner thigh to stabilize herself, unable to respond except with a few gagging noises. Tears started welling up in her eyes the further she went down, suppressing her gag reflex when it reached deep enough. It felt like it would never stop, not that Irene wanted it to; she felt like she had completely unhinged her jaw, her nose almost pressing against his shaft. Being that she could only breathe from her nostrils, with every intake of air she took in, accompanying it was the musky smell of Parker’s cock, and that invigorated Irene even more. With how much space Parker was occupying her mouth, her tongue had no choice but to be firmly pressed against the underside of his dick, haplessly drooling all over it. She tried to pay as much attention to his balls while doing so, but the truth was, at some point, both Irene’s mind and her throat had become completely occupied with Parker’s penis.
“Ah, shit.”
“Wow, look at her go…”
Irene barley registered the fighting words of her friend, taking a few moments to steel herself before beginning to bob her head against his length. Another swear flew out Parker’s mouth at the feeling of her velvety tongue expertly gliding and coiling along his length, her throat flexing and tightening against his member like it was made to house him. However, if that was indeed the case, then the housing was grossly undersized: Irene still had a third left to go before she could claim to have taken in his entire dick with her mouth.
Part of Irene began to wonder how he’d fit inside her pussy. How far would he reach, how would it feel to have him cum that deep inside her? Irene’s pussy ached, translated in the increased vigor of her deepthroating of Parker.
“Irene, holy shit—”
Parker was doing everything in his power to keep her hands off her hair. While Irene’s impressive blowjob-turned-deepthroating felt amazing, and while she sank a bit deeper with each bobbing motion, having the little bit unattended left something to be desired. Even if she talked and acted like Jessica, it didn’t mean she wanted to be treated like her, nor did it mean he even felt comfortable doing so. The fact that, in watching her and experiencing what Irene was doing to him, he felt inclined to shove her face until her nose touched his crotch made him wonder if Jessica had become too much of a negative influence on him.
Like clockwork, as soon as Parker felt sufficiently warmed up to want to reciprocate, Irene came up for air.
“Wow, you almost got all of it by the end there.”
“Really?” Irene wiped the drool coming out of the corner of her mouth, but even as she did so, she looked insanely beautiful. It wasn’t the same pure-innocent beauty as from before: this time, it was more so a femme fatale kind of beauty, one that made you realize she was dangerous but in all the ways you didn’t care about.
“Yeah, you had like an inch to go, it looked like.”
“Hm…” Irene looked up at Parker with a grin. “Maybe next time, I’ll go for all of it.”
“…Right.”
Irene giggled at Parker’s confounded reaction. “How was my throat?”
“It felt…” Was it normal to ask the question so giddily? “…uh, it was good…?”
“Why do you never tell me that?”
“Well,” Irene said, ignoring her friend and climbing onto Parker’s lap, shooting a dazzling, seductive smile at him, “wait until you feel my pussy.” It should’ve hardly been a surprise that Irene talked this way, but it still caught Parker a bit by surprise. By the time he had processed it fully, Irene was already aligning his cock with her entrance. “Ready?”
“This is … shouldn’t it normally be me who’s asking you?”
“Oh, you won’t have to ask me if I’m ready.”
The next sound to come out of Parker’s mouth was a surprised moan, the feeling of Irene’s blazing hot sex wrapping around his cock overriding his ability to speak.
“Mmm…”
Irene had her eyes closed, a mixture of a bliss and lust on her face as she lowered herself onto him at an astonishingly quick pace—quicker than Jessica their first few times, if he remembered correctly. “Ah, Irene—”
“Wow, fuck you’re big…”
More than halfway down, Irene started to slow down, electing to rotate her hips and slowly grind her way down his shaft. It felt incredible, alright: the intense tightness with which her pussy squeezed his cock, the wetness that counteracted any resistance the tightness offered, the warmth, the way her pussy walls seemed to be massaging his shaft … but the fact that Jessica was right there, and he was inside a woman he didn’t even know an hour before lingered in the back of his mind. Irene didn’t seem affected at all, but it stuck in Parker’s mind: was this normal? It couldn’t be, right?
Who was he kidding, of course it wasn’t normal. Even one-night stands, picking up chicks from bars or meeting from Tinder or the like involved getting to know someone at least somewhat before getting to the sex. For Parker, he had been made aware of Irene’s existence for only a few minutes before his cock was already two-thirds of the way inside her. How much his sense of what’s normal dulled since he started spending time around Jessica … Parker didn’t even want to think about it.
“Wa-Wait, Irene…”
He could tell Irene was going considerably slower, and if she was in pain, she was doing an immaculate job of hiding it. The intensity her pussy was squeezing his cock, however, was teetering on the line of pleasure and pain. However, perhaps it was due to some kind of pride, or maybe it didn’t feel painful to her, or maybe it even was Irene wanting to brag about being able to take his entire length in one go to Jessica, but she didn’t stop.
“Hmm … mmm…”
The low rumble of Irene’s husky voice was a nice distraction to the burgeoning pain on his cock, but Parker still had to grit his teeth to endure it.
“Irene, please…”
Parker had hardly ever begged for anything in his life. Maybe there were some times when he was a kid, begging his parents to let him finish the gym battle in the Pokémon game he was playing or begging his parents for ice cream on a hot summer day, but his parents otherwise treated him well. His first couple of sexual encounters with Jessica was what broke his streak of not needing to beg for anything, but ever since she told him about her competition with Hunter, the need to do that vanished.
At this moment, that need reemerged.
“Too … it’s too tight…”
The plea seemed to translate into a compliment to Irene’s ears, though. “Yeah? You like how tight my pussy is?”
It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good at all, but a combination of things distracted Parker from the pleasure aside from the pain—namely, self-consciousness from the knowledge that Jessica was watching them and the fact that he and Irene were essentially strangers. Asking Jessica to leave wasn’t going to actually make her leave, and addressing the fact that he met Irene only minutes before didn’t seem like it’d affect Irene, so the only thing he could point out was the thing she was bragging to him about.
“N—Irene, slower, please…”
“Hm?" Parker’s hands cupped her cheeks and pushed upwards. “Oh!” Jessica let out a giggle as Parker lifted her up enough that the pain mostly subsided.
“You’re too eager, Rene.”
“Sorry…”
Irene shared a sheepish smile with Parker, who just shook his head at it. “Just, more slowly, ok?”
Irene nodded, and it was only after that when Parker realized what he had said: or rather, how casually he said it.
Being around Jessica really was messing with his capability to withstand a level of bullshit a normal person shouldn’t. Then again, a normal person would probably be willing to withstand more bullshit for the chance to have sex with Irene.
“Righty-do.” Parker blinked a few times, a bemused smile starting to play at his lips. “But you have to control the pacing this time, ok? Because I can’t promise I won’t do the same thing if you don’t.”
“Uh, right.”
When they resumed, Irene’s eyes fluttered shut. Her lips parted again, something Parker couldn’t help but look at: of all the beautiful features perfectly placed on her face, her lips had to be the most alluring. Even when slightly parted, or perhaps even more so when they were slightly parted, they seemed to naturally form a pout.
He wasn’t dating Tiffany yet. Plus, according to her best friend, she was even fine with an open relationship. And said best friend, who seemed to be invested in the relationship between the two, introduced Irene to Parker for this exact purpose. This wasn’t cheating. He shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to lean forward and capture Irene’s perfect, kissable lips.
“Shit.”
“Ooh yeah, fuck…”
Irene, perhaps interpreting Parker’s frustrated groan as one of pleasure, responded in kind, gently biting the corner of her lower lip and throwing her head back.
Having sex with Jessica was one thing, but having sex with another woman, even if she was Jessica in another body … Parker couldn’t rid himself of the thought that he was betraying Tiffany, somehow.
“Deeper, babe…”
“…Shit.”
Tiffany didn’t seem the least bit phased when Jessica was riding him; in fact, she seemed intrigued more than anything. But then again, that was before they started seeing each other. Maybe now it would be different.
Was he thinking about this too deeply?
“Parker…?” Irene turned around, her eyes landing on the conflicted, downcast gaze of the man whose cock was inside her.
“Damn it. Jessica, are you really sure about Tiffany?”
“Oh, wait, Parker’s the guy Fany’s been seeing recently, right?” Jessica nodded. “In that case, we should probably send her some pic—” she abruptly cut herself off upon seeing Jessica hastily motioning for her to stop.
What? Was this some kind of extreme teasing? Did Irene hate Tiffany or something? Why would she propose such a thing? But, most of all, why wasn’t Jessica reprimanding Irene for suggesting them to do such a thing for what seemed to be their mutual friend?
“I was going to let Tiff tell him!”
“Oh! Oh my god, I’m so sorry—”
“Ok—” Parker lifted Irene off his lap and set her down next to him. It was definitely strange, preparing to dive into a serious topic with his erection out for all to see, but this seemed too important to pass up. “—what? What kinds of pictures were you going to send her?”
“Um, sorry Parker, I need to ask her something first.”
“Just to be clear, were you talking about pictures of … of … this?” Parker didn’t intend to raise his voice, but he felt as though he had been deceived into playing some kind of cruel prank on Tiffany. Irene seemed so nice, so likeable, and so genuine, too.
“I can tell you what Irene meant by that, but first I need Tiff’s—” Jessica’s voice trailed off a little, her eyes darting back to her phone notifying her of a text message. “—um, Tiff’s permission.”
After finally blowing up on Jessica about what they had been doing behind Hunter’s back after nearly being caught by him on his balcony, Parker figured Jessica needn’t hide much else from him. Jessica, too, seemed glad to be cleared of that misunderstanding … but where did Tiffany play a part in this?
“Give me a little…”
Irene sat idly next to Parker, a clearly guilty expression on her face. That wasn’t the face of someone who wanted to do something mean to Tiffany. Or did she just look that way because she had been caught?
“…ok, I got her permission. You know how I told you Tiffany was fine with an open relationship, but didn’t elaborate?” Parker hesitantly nodded. He didn’t want to antagonize Jessica, nor Irene, too quickly, so he made sure to reign in any kind of animosity that was starting to form within himself. “Well, I figured Tiffany wanted to be the one to tell you, but now the cat’s out of the bag, and now that I got her permission, I’ll let you know. I actually do know why Tiffany’s fine with an open relationship: it’s because she’s … how should I put this, a voyeur?” Parker didn’t even know how to interpret that. “Hm … no…” but what did that have to do with anything? “…well, the bottom line is, she finds the idea of another woman fucking her man hot.”
Parker’s first reaction was to scoff at that. “What?”
“I know! It’s always the purest, most innocent ones that are the freakiest, huh?” In Parker’s eyes, Jessica had no grounds to say such a thing, but … looking into her eyes, there didn’t seem to be a hint of deceit. Not that he knew her well enough to be able to detect it. “Why do you think she asked me to watch that porno we shot?”
Shit … well, that did explain that one thing, given it was true.
“But…”
“I can show you what I just texted her if you want proof.” It felt like a violation of privacy of the woman he was seeing, but his curiosity got the better of him. He nodded, leaning forward, Jessica turning her phone’s screen toward him. Sure enough, the text exchange was with Tiffany, and Jessica was explicitly asking permission to tell him about that aspect about herself. What probably took Jessica a bit to inform him was the little bit of hesitation Tiffany showed, but when Jessica promised some pictures and videos of him fucking Irene, Tiffany buckled.
“Do … you have a single normal friend?!”
Jessica burst into laughter. “That’s rude! Aren’t you pretty much dating her?”
Parker groaned. On the side, he could hear the faint chuckles of Irene. “I mean…” he didn’t mean it like that. It was just a guttural reaction he couldn’t contain … but wasn’t it pretty normal? Actually, he shouldn’t justify that outburst like that. Admittedly, it was pretty awful of him to say such a thing about a woman he was seeing, but … well, at the very least, this was something he did not see coming. And he wondered why Tiffany was friends with Jessica; turns out, they maybe had more in common than he initially thought. “…yeah, but … wait, are you actually gonna send pictures to her?”
“Well, I promised, so … unless you’re unwilling?”
Parker almost laughed at that. Leave it to Jessica to just assume he was on board with such a ridiculous proposal. If it was something the woman he was seeing wanted … should he deny her? It wasn’t even like the idea that Tiffany was a cuck of sorts turned him off from her; maybe it was Jessica’s influence on him, but he saw it as nothing more than a quirk, albeit a pretty extreme one.
“Irene…?”
“Um…” Irene’s downtrodden gaze alerted Parker that she still felt bad despite things having been cleared up.
“It’s—” it was only then Parker remembered his dick was out, which he began to move to cover but stopped halfway. “—uh, it’s fine.”
“So … then, are you also ok with the pictures?”
Parker sighed. When did his life become so weird? “Yeah, I guess.”
At that, Irene’s eyes lit up. “Great!” Actually, maybe Parker was the weird one. Maybe his preference for missionary, and at most, doggy, made him the odd-man-out. “Then…” Irene sprung off the couch and repositioned herself in his lap, her hands resting on his knees while her ass hovered inches over his softening erection. Parker tentatively put his hands on her plump cheeks, spreading them out to see her still-glistening pink folds, drooling at the prospect of being torn open again by his cock. “…go ahead. Make me scream with that dick.”
#jessica jung#smut#snsd#soshi#snsd smut#kpop smut#Soiling Mr. Innocent#jessica jung smut#red velvet smut#red velvet#bae joohyun#red velvet irene#irene smut
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The proshipping problem in the twst fandom | A rant.
Very obvious trigger warning for things normal for proshippers like p3dophilia, incest, etc.
Though I do know proshippers will be in every single fandom, it's getting especially worse in the twst fandom, specifically the Japanese side of the fandom (with some discussions about some in the English side too).
Before any proshippers come into the comment section: Proshipping is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. If your therapist recommended it, they should be fired.
This post is not to dehumanize and degrade underage proshippers as they have been obviously groomed into believing that it was okay to ship this sort of stuff.
The actual elephant in the room we WILL be shunning is the adult proshippers who actively encourage children (either actually or under law) to proship.
Before getting fully deep in this subject, I would like to admit something that I've talked about before.
I was a proshipper when I was younger than what I am now. This was because, not getting into too much detail, I was groomed by a man online to the point that i thought it was okay.
Not only was I a proshipper but I was also a darkshipper, problematic comshipper, and also supported the things present in Dead Dove fanfics.
In fact, I had an account on some sort of forum page with other proshippers and I shared my nasty ships there. I believed it was a good way of desensitizing myself to my trauma that fucked me up heavily, but it wasn't and it was making me relive the same trauma which in return, made it worse.
This is why I say that I do not want anyone to shun underage proshippers, they were groomed into it half of the time.
Now that I'm 18 (About to turn 19 on February 14th), I finally understand that proshipping is an unhealthy way of approaching your trauma and pain.
It may feel like it does something, but it really doesn't. And I want to reassure you that you're not alone in your pain, please, find other ways to cope and process what has happened to you that doesn't include glorifying very nasty things.
Now with that out the way, I would like to say what the title says.
Proshippers in the twst fandom has sadly grown overtime, but my niece made a very good point; stating that since twst does have a slightly dark story, that people with dark and nasty thoughts and ideas will be attracted to it, much like a moth to a flame that damages it's already fragile body.
There have been adults in the twst proshipper area, and I think they're the main cause of fueling minors in the fandom to do the same thing. Maybe with or without knowing the eventual psychological consequences.
The adults who are aware sadly lure and prey on the gullible underage individuals of the fandom, and though that might seem like an overexaggeration; it sadly is true.
I am Japanese, well, half-Japanese. But even then, due to that fact, I'm more prevalent in the Japanese fandom than the English fandom though I am trying to balance out both.
Since I am more present in the Japanese side of the fandom than I am with the English side (because I'm basically like an absent dad that went off to get the milk and never came back until years), I have seen a lot of shit in here and it's very scary even to this day.
Though the English side of the fandom is as equally bad, the Japanese side is worse with the whole l0li and sh0ta thing. Sadly I have seen English twst accounts do those things too.
The most popular proshipper you may know is Ugigi or however the fuck you spell her name, whether one likes to admit it or not, her selfships were very much proshipping. This is mainly due to how her OC could've been her actual age which was in her 20s if I'm remembering correctly.
But let's say the OC wasn't, it would still be problematic (but not in the proship way) since the characters she drew NSFW of were mainly the minors (again, if I remember correctly). If her OC was her actual age then she would be a proshipper.
However, watever the age of the OC she always drew, it's obvious that it was still leaning more on proshipping because that indicates that she's attracted to the characters despite knowing they're minors (and not even aging them up by the way).
So, very nasty, I was thinking of putting her In the TWs 😭
All jokes aside, proshipping is disgusting.
In fact, must I bring up any other thing?
LEECHCEST.
WHAT.
Well, you heard that right, people ship Floyd and Jade. Seriously, what is wrong with you guys. And I think I know why this ship is so popular in the Japanese fandom; The fact incest is not necessarily illegal in Japan in a way.
Yeah. You heard me correctly. I'm horrified and scarred for life <3
"Surely there isn't anymore I shall talk about, right? Right?? RIGHT?!?" I exclaim, not expecting anything else to come from the sky and hit me.
Then boom..
SHROUDCEST.
OH FUCK NOT AGAIN.
So, apparently people ship a dead robotic little boy with his big brother.. yeah... FNAF fandom called, they're telling you not to steal their bit much like how Deejus is trying to tell Johnny RaZeR not to steal his "YOUTUBEEE" outro bit that.. he also stole.
It can't get any worse than this, right? This is definitely the last tier of the iceberg, surely? Perhaps??-
KINGSCHOLARCEST.
Okay, now we're pushing it, this bit is getting old but whatever.
Kingscholarcest can refer to three (disgusting) "ships": A nasty ship of Cheka x Leona, a nasty ship of Falena x Leona, or a nasty ship of Falena x Leona x Cheka.
Sweet home Alabama all around but more extreme..
I think we all know why these ships are not okay and are disgusting (ESPECIALLY CHEKA X LEONA SINCE CHEKA IS A GOO GOO GA GA BABY.)
Finally.. It's over.. I can go back to ranting!-
FELLOW X GIDEL.
JESUS CHRIST STOP.
This madness needs to stop because if not I'm going to pull my fucking hair out!-
LILMAL, SILVER X LILIA, S-
OKAY STOP IT RIGHT HERE,, THE BIT IS OLD NOW.
So, I think you get my point.
Borderline incestuous ships, the drake specialty, and straight up sweet home right to Alabama.
Now, let's put aside the jokes and get serious again.
With all the things I have stated, you can definitely see the absolute horror of some parts of the fandom.
There's accounts that are VERY hypocritical, saying "P3dos DNI" when they are a sh0ta/l0licon. This is the literal definition of hypocrisy at it's finest.
There are mfs who have unironically said that Cheka was hot and romantically cute.. HE'S 7 YEARS OLD. OR MAYBE YOUNGER. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER BUT I DO KNOW HE IS A CHILD.
I have said this MANY times before and I'll say it again; if that characters looks like a child, THEY ARE A CHILD.
Even if you age up characters like Ortho, Cheka, etc. You are still self-reporting that you're attracted to a literal child.
Fiction DOES affect reality no matter if you try to plug your mickey mouse ears with your fingers (or paws, I don't know) to gaslight yourself into believing it doesn't truly affect it.
In fact, there have been cases where people have been arrested for having l0li/sh0ta on their devices, though, sadly, its not a long sentence despite how it should be lifelong.
But even without the lifelong sentence, the law still considers l0li/sh0ta CSAM. (I hate calling it CP now since that implies that kids can do that in their own will.)
A grown adult proshipper even told me when I criticized Kanna from dragon maid for being a little girl the author sexualizes to no end all because I said that she doesn't have a listed age that I was being "contradicting" and I think this proves that.. proshippers DON'T know what contradictions ACTUALLY are because they've gaslit so much into believing this disgusting behavior is normal and okay to do.
And don't get me started on Dead Dove cai, chai, etc. bots and fanfics.
Dead Dove, proshipping, problematic comshipping, darkshipping, doveshipping, etc. doesn't give out awareness to the horrors of such depraved acts.
Another very nasty thing I've seen in the TWST fandom is people shipping the staff with the students, mainly Crewel with Deuce.
Teacher x Student is disgusting no matter what. Teachers are always more grown than the students, so yeah, teachers aren't the anime boy or girl of your dreams or something, he or she's going to be old and otherwise not "attractive" and young.
The training to become a teacher and any profession in fact will take years, which means you'll grow and turn old.
I understand many say "Well, it's just fiction!" but these people seem to forget that young individuals, especially young girls, can see these teacher x student fiction and will probably, in the worst case scenario, get the wrong impression from it, ESPECIALLY if the media glamorizes and romanticize it, and sadly become a victim.
Crewel, If I'm not wrong, is 31 meanwhile Deuce and the other first years that [Crewel] mainly gets shipped with are 16 years old.
This is not only a disgusting, vomit-inducing age gap but huge maturity gap whether one likes to admit so or not.
Yanderes especially in the twst fandom get romanticized, and people seem to forget the reality of the abuse that yanderes put their "love interest(s)" through.
And I think this is why fandoms (not just twst) should stop romanticizing yanderes and student x teacher, and vice versa.
Besides, these two tropes are grooming even if the victim is not a minor, adults and the elderly alike can also be groomed especially if they're gullible and need to depend on someone (for either a disability or something).
People will probably invalidate my point but I don't budge from what I said.
Sorry if this posts looks rushed and/or maybe even incoherent to some, I just wanted to get this off my chest and stuff.
I should start ranting more, I like yapping so yeah, expect more whenever I'm bored :3
Anyways, BAIIII!!
YOUTUBEEEEEE flies away into the void to the right
#tw pedophila mention#cw pedophila mention#cw discourse#cw shotacon#cw lolicon#cw lolisho#anti shotacon#anti lolicon#anti lolisho#rant post#rant#fandom rant#kinda discourse i guess#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#anti proship#anti proshipper#anti profic#anti comship#anti problematic comship to be specific#anti darkship#anti dark romance
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Bout that essay titled 'A study of Gortash's twisted love of humanity'- yk what fuck it here goes nothing. Back into a facists megalomaniacs mind we go. Spoiler; this is long.
But first of all; let's do a thought experiment. Let's just assume, for shits and giggles, Gortash's position would've somehow been swapped with any other the other chosen or another Banite:
Let's start with the Banites: if we had gotten anyone except for Gortash Baldur's Gate would've been fucked. Like genuinely. Banites are cruel, vicious, unashamedly gaudy (they suck ass at infiltration missions) and they exploit loopholes perhaps even better than fiends. Any other Banite would've simply reveled in the fear caused by rampant myrkulites and bhaalists and probably stoked that fire by employing some of their own forces. And depending on whether the Zhents join the winning side or not they would've probably used and abused the black network to absolutely dominate trade and potentially choke out every non desirable in the city itself by fun activities such as grand scale slavery, starving an entire city, or simply employing enough mercenaries and some Bhaalist to get the job done. Banites fuck everyone over so hard they usually don't even stop at themselves, and prideful cruel beings who know absolutely no bounds in their desire for power commonly don't hesitate, especially not Banites who thrive in backstabbing. So the other chosen and the grand design are fucked cuz they will most certainly get removed for the sake of someone more desirable the second they somehow irk Banes favourite toy. Which in some specific cases (all of them) would be in 5 minutes flat. If you thought the local nobility was bad just wait until you see a Banite in their natural environment.
Ketheric: Yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked. Ketheric cares about one thing and one thing only; Isobel. And he employs a bunch of sadistic necromancers who have no concept of personal boundaries or consent for that matter, so chances are he'd let them roam freely in Baldur's Gate, making the streets a huting ground for his followers to find prime subjects to perform inhumane experiments on all while he turns a blind eye; either busy trying to get Isobel under his (mind-) control, reviving her or treating a brainless puppet that looks and once was his daughter like his one true solution to decades of grief and fucking up. He wouldn't care about what happens to the city, to the other chosen or even the grand design. He'd follow his gods orders but thats about it and no matter whether that's still Myrkul or Bane; everyone's fucked cuz surpringly the guy who adores lichdom more than life and the other guy who'd rather 'burn everyone's fields than loose' aren't about to give out any orders that will benefit anyone but themselves.
Orin: Another great case of 'yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked'. Orin wants one thing and one thing only: recognition. Preferably from Bhaal but she'd take anyone at this point. The problem about this whole thing is, she's been conditioned and instilled with so much self-loathing my dearest murder princess can't even begin to realise when she's getting shown any sort of adoration anymore and immediately understands it as mockery, see, for example, her butler. Is what I would say if their corpse wasn't chilling in Durges old bedroom. All Orin would do is stage ever grander and more elaborate public massacres and involuntary 'anatomy displays'. Baldur's Gate wouldn't simply be fucked; give her a week, and the majority of it would be dead. This works well for Bhaal, but for anyone else, it would kinda suck. Including the other two of the dead three. And the cult would probably still loathe her simply due to her not being a true Bhaalspawn, so cue Orin's madness reaching an absolute boiling point. She doesn't and would never care for any of the other chosen or the grand design. Unless she's reigned in, she's a utterly loose canon, even more so than she was already, with Gortash or Durge at the helm, respectively.
Now time for my favourite of the reckless murder hobos; Durge. Given the few in game notes we have Durge had a thing for obliteration. Including but not limited to every living being + themselves. So let's just assume Gortash’s cocky upstart charm and Orins assassination attempt didn't work out as planned and they are still the de facto leader but now without any leash. Baldur's Gate is probably obliterated. Alongside whatever else remains of the sword coast. Or Troil. They'd probably also have some weird ass fuck relationship with the brain cuz they already did without being the undisputed leader. And the brain would probably discard the grand design themselves cuz somehow Durge has that effect on things (might be the innate charm magic of Bhaalist priests that they use to convince people to join a literal murder cult). Either way, with Durge not giving a single damn about the other chosen, any plans but Bhaals (or their misunderstood version of it) and a dramatic love for self-obliteration, it may finally be time to remedy the elves' mistake and rip Abeir-Toril apart properly. Ao hates this trick, alongside everyone else, probably including Bhaal himself.
Which is all my longwinded way of saying; Gortash is the lesser evil. In any set of circumstances he displays enough leniency, monster fucker vibes and rationality to somehow keep this ruined, sinking ship from hitting the sea floor immediately. He has enough of a twisted love for humanity left, compared to the others, to a degree that he doesn't blindly follow orders or actively seeks the destruction of everything, let alone 'true' domination the way Bane intends to have it.
But yes, indeed, Gortash performed fucked up and cruel experiments. No doubt about that. And yet it was still on a lesser scale than a mad massive hoard of necromancers could, and his experiments, for the most part, actually yielded results, didn't they? Presumably, the Coginator and the remote control brain mechanism used for the Steelwatch. After all, there are zombies(?) in there, controlling that shit. However, the experiments on loving families were probably one of his selfish indulgences and his sorry attempt at figuring out if he was just born loathsome and his family sucks ass or if that's normal and humanity doesn't deserve a second chance. Or a 30th. FR lore is fucked up.
This is also a great transition to exhibit B of my thesis why Gortash does in fact love or is at the very very very least heavily intrigued by humanity; the sole existence of the Steelwatch. Listen, my guy serves Bane. Bane hates planning. He likes immediate results. So much so he actively pisses off his situationship Bhaal for it. Repeatedly. And he likes fear and tyranny. So what do you think the chances are that the black hand would actually enjoy the thought of a mecha army patrolling the streets of Baldur's Gate, keeping them save, and worst of all, instilling hope in the hearts of the populous, peasants and nobles alike? Yeah, absolutely fucking none. And yet Gortash did that. And he's not even just a regular banite. He's Banes chosen. He carries a part of Bane's divinity within himself. He has the de facto highest position in the local faith. He's Banes favourite toy rn. He's the centre of attention and he still goes out of his way to use things that could 1000% inspire fear and hatred to sow fucking hope and a sense of safety of all things in plain sight? I bet his adorable wrinkly ass that Bane wasn't happy and that even a thousand rituals to redeem his leniency won't save him from getting tortured extra hard for this fuck up. And considering the state of the Banites scriptures we found, and his entire character, Gortash is smart enough to know this is something Bane absolutely loathes. And yet my guy did that.
Another thing is the hive mind. Bane would probably not hate it outright, as its still 'burning the fields' by turning souls illithid, but it's wasted potential. Because there's so many great things you can do with a hivemind and the remote control over people's thoughts and emotions, for example instilling fear and terror the very things Bane loves. But that's, once again, not Gortash plan. If the notes and one of the evil endings is anything to go by the hivemind doesn't trap people in a state of torment, it does the polar opposite. People are happy, enjoying a better, simpler and nicer life. Enjoying an idea of what their life could've been like. They're smiling, happy, enjoying a casual market stroll and the bountiful rewards of the fields. Which is all things that a good Banite should hate and never inflict on someone. AND YET that's presumably Gortashs plan. Create a hivemind where everyone can dream happily and do soulless labour without noticing it while the world goes to absolute shit but the people do not. It's basically noah's arc. It's paradise in hell. The people are 'saved' while the gods continue to fight their petty games, and Gortash alone lords over this perfect dream. Protecting it answer using it to advance further.
Now, about the busts found in his office. Most of them depicted rather unsavoury, cruel people. Except for one. Which honours a self made person who took pity on those who had less. On those considered lesser by the upright and honourable citizens of the Gate. It's weird how, between all those symbols and testaments to cutlery and tyranny, there's still a sliver of empathy, renegade justice and even care for fellow humans imbued, isn't it? And what's even weirder, all of them are found in Gortash's most private place? His own little office hidden far above the grandeur of the throne room and the Fortress, where he sits at the helm, lording over his subjects and scheming his little plans? This is an excellent example of show, don't tell btw. It's hitting you over the head with the implications. But just in case, this might very well be a reflection of Gortashs mind itself and the visible expression of him being incapable of letting go of humanity as a whole, still carrying it somewhere not even that well buried between the resentment and cruelty but out in plain view for everyone curious enough to touch it because what others reason would he have tob'play the benelovent ruler' in a place where no one sees it? Where only his most trusted and fellow Banites mingle?
And, ofc, as I am a durgetash truther, another exhibit. Him fucking Bhaals gore baby and putting a leash on it prematurely. You see, I've already talked about Banes likes and dislikes plenty so it should come as no surprise that the Edgelord Surpreme wouldn't hate carnage wrought upon foolish mortals by idiots who follow lesser gods than himself, since it would still somehow contribute to people being scared and panicking. But Gortash, being the ever faithful fuck up of a Banite, reigns in the Bhaalist and even the Myrkulites enough for that to kinda never really happen. He stopped the carnage from happening altogether, in fact, by giving the others enough scraps to keep them satisfied and from acting out but not enough freedom to fuck up his plans. I mean, heck he was apparently so convincing he managed to get Durge, again, biggest fan of self-obliteration, from going on an apocalyptic rampage cuz 'daddy I like his brain and I don't mean for dinner'. Him doing that actively contributed to preventing another Bhaalspawn crisis, which could've very well happened with Bhaals resurgence and revival, 2.5 loose canons and no ward of a random old guy in sight. But also him providing a clear goal and orders for Ketheric kept the lich from giving in to the sweet release of just not caring at all whatsoever. Everyone had their designated roles and boundaries and that was perhaps the only thing keeping this group of mentally unstable creatures from unleashing an apocalyptic nightmare; which again would've worked in their gods favour and technically didn't need any prevention.
And about the Gondians... Yeah this is gonna sound fucked up, cuz it is, but Gortash is actually treating them exceptionally nice. Their families are actually still alive and its not just a lie he's telling them, we don't actually see anyone getting flayed, strung up or tortured in some other way outright, they actually get to wear clothes and presumably they're fed enough to a degree that most of them can still somewhat work and the collar and the threat of your head exploding does suck but he could've also simply chained them to their work stations but they aren't. Let alone use charms or other beguiling and fucked up magic to force them into complacency. And they're not being resold or redistributed or forced to serve some random ass guy. The Gondians are, from a Forgotten Realms and probably Bane's perspective, treated exceptionally well. As are their families. Still undoubtedly fucked up and kinda sadistic with the whole explosion collar but objectively speaking he's one of the nicer slave masters. And they do allow him to produce the Steel Watchers en mass which once again contributes to the overall safety of Baldurs Gate and its other citizens. Still the lesser evil.
Though to be fair; Gortash also did some things Bane would really celebrate. Like somehow cheating his way into obtaining the Iron Throne, fucking Bhaals favourite and most fucked up """"child"""" and of course, keeping his parents alive and in agony to eternally fuel Banes fear kink. Except, it's only Sally who's afraid. Dravo is basically a blue screen of death personified at this point. He's a hollow, numb husk, isn't he? So somehow this once again doesn't align with Banes goals and Gortash's duty as a Banite. He's fucked it up again. But Gortash could've also simply killed them if all he wanted was revenge. Why go out of your ways, program elaborate scripts into them, keep the very place that testaments his fucked up past in good condition? Because a quick death would be too merciful? But then why is he so quick to turn on Durge if they betray him in a much smaller scale than his parents did. Well, perhaps he chose not to simply kill the very people who prepared Belladonna in the kitchen when he came to visit because he himself still needs them. Because underneath all that rage and spite there's still a broken boy who wants to hear his parents, albeit empty praise, and who wants to prove to them that he can be better? That his useless playing around actually helped better humanity, that he himself helped countess people and made lives better when all they thought he'd be useful as would be a pawn?
So, is it twisted? Yes. Is it rotten? Absolutely. Is it anything you'd consider to be 'conventional'? Absolutely not. But he does hold some wildly fucked up 'love' for humanity, if only as means to a grander goal (that being himself, ofc) or perhaps cuz he's genuinely incapable of letting go. Whether it's that, to spite Raphael, Bane and his parents or someone else, who knows. Probably nobody. But the shit he does is unorthodox and oddly self-sacrificial in a way where I just can't go, 'yeah no he absolutely loathes the sheer existence of the concept'.
I still think it's a missed opportunity he's not trying to build a spelljamming port though. I feel like he would absolutely do that somewhere down the line, if only to limit the black networks influence.
#okay thx for reading enough madman ramblings#i am that meme#yk which one#thats how it looks inside my brain 24/7#also not to expose myself as a weeb but#gortash is literally the light yagami or eren yaeger of baldurs gate#becoming the lesser evil and a genocidal maniac so 'his' people may experience a moment of peace safety and respite#one might even say he shares similarities witn griffith or bondrewd#but i won't cuz i dont need a hatemob to find me#anyway thats it folks#i condensed it nd kept it as sane as i could#don't wanna hit tumblrs letter cap again#been there done that already#yk i could've spent this time working on my longfic and cultivating ideas of how gortash would simultaneously elevate and fuck up the city#if he lived through bg3 cuz i like that idea#but here i am detailing how deranged he is#oh well just gotta keep thinking about the toxic old man yaoi even harder now to make up for it#imagine me going on a madmans ramble like this but for my blorbo#and their fucked up relationship#i rly should do that one day#bg3#enver gortash#bg3 gortash#lord gortash#i just noticed i forgot the orphan pipebomb bit#more on that later ig#also why i'm at it his general approach is similar to calcazar but their motivations are still different#it's hard to put into words without me spinning the argument in my mind for a lil longer but yeah#wouldn't say they're on common ground
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RANDOM ASTRO TAKES #2
I hope New Year Eve was right and joyful for you like the 365 days who gonna following, good reading 🌝🥳
Capricorn placements can enhancing fatality in the story of the native, La Vita e Bella has a stellium in this sign for example.
Derivative 9H of Pisces falls in Scorpio, that’s why witchcraft is a divination that inspire you, make you grateful of what you are and have.
I think about the fact that gravity is an illusion of immobility when Saturn is in Pisces.
I've noticed that with Cancer placements, records can be set in sports where there are confrontations. This is due to the Capricorn derivative in 7, which represents mountains that are impossible to climb, and the image speaks for itself. Examples : Michael Jordan, Lionel Messi, Michael Phelps, Leon Marchand.
Those born with Jupiter dominance are more prone to forgive and leave on a good note, such a bless for everyone.
With Saturn in Gemini, communication has to be so meticulous and dedicated to a long-term goal that it becomes time-consuming. It means forcing yourself to be perfect, only to end up being copied rather than equaled. Eminem is the emblem of all this.
Thinking about the fact that the prime of football (soccer) was during Neptune in Pisces sextile Pluto in Capricorn, peak artistic entertainment on the pitch.
The primes of basketball were during Pluto in Scorpio and Neptune in Pisces, generational planets makes global sports explodes positively.
It's can be easy to be confused, or to think that a Cancer placement's gentleness is a sign of weakness, when he uses it to win you over. This is due to the Pisces drifting into the 9th house.
Geminis imitate when they love and when they hate, but also get copied out of love, envy or mockery. It's subtle details (Virgo derivative in 4) or a magnified trait (Pisces and Sagittarius in 10/7).
Aquarius in derivative 12H of Pisces is a marker of evolution, which takes us backwards technically when these virtual worlds and all the robotics and artificial intelligence explode.
The zodiac is subjective, aspects btw planets are objective.
Trying to understand why gemini are so hated and I have an answer : their curiosity and social awareness rules the world.
The greatest mysteries of the universe remain its limits, what it's contained within and its destiny on an infinite time scale. saturne is in joy in 12.
The aspect btw the sign of your ascendant and your Sun tells how your body is correlated to your identity.
René Descartes achieving his philosophical journey by saying because i think i am, he has a stellium in Aries square Capricorn rising and ruled by a gemini mars, soo on brand.
Boss mode placements :
Sun/Moon/Venus/Mars/Saturn in 10H/11H
Pluto in 1H/7H/10H/11H
Any placements in Capricorn
Saturn in aspect to Pluto/Mars
Venus in aspect to Pluto/Saturn
Sun in aspect to Pluto/Saturn/Mars
Sun/Venus in 8H
Saturn/Pluto/Mars/Sun/Venus in Scorpio.
I Hope you have enjoyed this post and good start of 2025 🙏❤️
#astrology placements#astrotakes#astro community#astro notes#astrology#zodiac#random astro observations
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Kitty leaves Xavier's part 1
One fine day at Xavier's, Chuck gets a letter from Kitty's parents informing him they're withdrawing her from the school. The primary reason is due to there being no students her own age (fair.)
Kitty is devastated, of course. I've been writing a bit about this very subject recently, but upon rereading I realised that I was in Kitty's position once. I was a 'gifted child' and didn't have much use for kids my own age. Whether that was a healthy thing for me is hard to say, but I do understand where she's coming from. Nevertheless, this should have been a wake up call for Xavier. He has the resources to take on as many students as he wishes - even if Kitty leaves for good the next child mutant will have the same issue. Ororo tries to comfort her but she's inconsolable.
Kitty is the one who figures out she's being sent to a school where The White Queen is headmistress. Ororo definitely remembers her and is concerned. Kitty displays both perceptiveness and a childish aversion to change. If nothing else, she needs more support than she's getting.
After saying her farewells to the X-Men, some more appropriate than others (what the fuck Pete?) she's ready to go. Ororo is going to drive her up there. It's nice to see how close Kitty and Ororo are, but their dynamic highlights just how young she is. It feels more like a parental relationship than that of siblings.
The two discuss how evil Emma is, and while Kitty receives orientation Emma reminds us.
'Ororo' says her goodbyes and after driving a few miles from the school drops a classic Emma Frost/Hellfire line - 'in this, as in all things, my pleasure will not be denied.' Emma body swapped with Ororo. WTF!
Emma is loving using Ororo's powers while quoting Shakespeare but goes a little too far. She realises how much concentration and control is required to not cause ecological disasters.
She calls 19th century Robber Baron and complete shithead, Sebastian Shaw, for some mutual gloating. Meanwhile, Ororo wakes up back at the Massachusetts Academy and feels super weird. She looks in the mirror and sees Emma's mug staring back at her.
For some reason Shaw sends Sentinels to attack Xavier's just as Emma is arriving. I always thought that one poking its head in at Chuck was cute. The fight isn't going too well so Kurt teleports to the armory and grabs some C4. He does a pretty damn good job of blowing up the Sentinels with it.
Just as everyone is recovering from the battle, Emma electrocutes TF out of them. Ororo is having difficulty adjusting to Emma's body and the onslaught of telepathic chatter, but she still manages to escape some Hellfire Club goons.
Next time - what TF is this plan? What's the creepiest thing Emma can do in Ororo's body? Will Kitty ever return to Xavier's? (Yes, obviously, but how soon?)
This arc is so messed up.
#x comics#uncanny x men#x men#ororo munroe#kitty pryde#emma frost#hellfire club#charles xavier#cyclops#nightcrawler#colossus#marvel#comics#wolverine#tw csa mention#sebastian shaw
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we live in a mono-normative society. polynormativity does not and can not exist. this is a very personal subject and i will not answer insensitive asks about it.
#i recieved an anon. it may be well intentioned but i do not feel comfortable sharing my whole self with the person who sent it#due to their understanding of the subject.#i will not open a conversation about this on my blog#it does not feel safe for me to talk that in depth about polyamory and relationship anarchy on this platform.#this blog functions in my life as a place to safely be silly with friends and will continue to do so.#jam posts#jam replies#anon#EDITING TO SAY. this isn't about emma's ask! it's about an ask i got
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#its not my fave fave color but i love love love slate blue....#i enjoy many blues mostly leaning toward green than purple...i dont enjoy purple#i think this blue fits talon but i dont want him to be So Me so he likes the more purple blues mainly#(in my doodle pages slate blue is usually just grey but the bg color makes it look more blue)#i still love how it looks as a grey blue#a doodley#i think he'd like it darker of course but making it darker on this page just makes it more evident that its just grey LOL looks less blue#''is dressed'' because al and smunker have to sort of build his wardrobe for him#as well as actually physically dress him a lot of the time due to the health issues#thje exception to it all is he really does love wearing big t shirt and nothing else (at home)#in all forms (furry or not)#BECAUSE it makes him feel cold but in that tingly way where u can curl up in bed and wiggle around to get warm.#do u understand me. i love doing this like when its cool in my room at night + remove an article of clothing#so that it feels MORE cool and I get to really appreciate warming up under the covers#anyway all subject to change of course. lots of talon details still elude me i cant fully crack him at all
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ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo
- vocamatsu anon
omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3
youtube
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me
Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
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my notes:
my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction
The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)
deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal
#translation#i dont really like the use of 'friend-zoned' for the official translation of this#in general deco's english translations seem to favor localizing over keeping original meaning which i usually support wholeheartedly#but i feel like their en localizations sometimes lack a colloquial understanding of how these terms come across to english speakers#like the Vibe. i dont know if they grasp the Vibe#like on the surface 'friend-zone' seems like a reasonable localization for this concept#(Actually why is the localization the adjective form? shouldnt it be the noun? tomodachi barrier = friend zone? well anyways)#term for when you can't advance a platonic relationship to a romantic one + the term 'zone' is often used in fighting and battles#but colloquially i feel like this term has more of an Incel Connotation#due to its use being most popularized among men who see women as a prize they can win if they put enough effort in#+ its usage furthering the underlying expectation that women should date a man because he likes her regardless of how She feels abt it#of coures i know this is not the literal definition but again. the colloquialism. the Vibe. i really value the Vibe in localization#it gives off more of a pathetic desperate entitled vibe than a determined lonely feisty vibe which is what i personally got from the song#but vibes are subjective of course and dependent on one's personal experience#and who knows maybe that IS what deco's going for. i may very well be missing some japanese colloquialism as well#anyways as to if this fits the matsus.... well. they dont really have any friends in the first place do they#except totoko who repeatedly and easily beats them in hand-to-hand combat#i guess it could be atsutodo if you were full of whimsy#(suddenly coming back into the room) BY THE WAY I HATE HAO#I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE THING WHERE HE JUST MAKES UP WORDS/MEANINGS BECAUSE IT'S THE KANJI IN SUKI#IT'S JUST AN EXTREMELY COMMON CHINESE WORD AND HE'S USING IT IN WAYS THAT SOUND SO DUMB AND WEIRRDDDDDDDDD#“a never ending HAO sweetener battle” <- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HAO HAPPEN? DONT PISS ME OFF#IM LIKE PRETTY SURE HIS TRANSLATOR IS EN/CN/JP TRILLINGUAL TOO SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE HERE#anyways thank you for the ask. mwah. i hope u enjoy this
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kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it
#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you#youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying#and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away#like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right?#like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine#peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that#in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids#by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to#which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering#things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much#idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it#like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch#so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling#like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right?#and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression#bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad#and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn#so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference#idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough#just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more
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i think some ppl are using autistic literal think as a shield to dismiss the fact that they have zero want to read things as contextual or learn how things connect, especially in stuff like art
we all know its hard to "read in between the lines" and interpret tone and stuff with that, but why do people post like autism stops them from recognizing patterns. The fucking pattern recognizing disorder.
#not getting jokes is not the same as not understanding context clues#a book is not ment to be by rules interpreted one way or you're wrong#i mean im autsitic and i understand the feeling of being beckoned to veiw it either one way or the other#but i think challenging that feeling thru art being subjective and allowing the curtains to mean many things at once#or maybe assume something due to your own feelings instead of being told what it is or not#is actually good for you . like really really good for you#big loud honking
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Why does Alan force me to debate whether or not entire populations of the human population "have souls" or "are evil" by nature?
Why is every conversation with our father lately a damn debate? I do not enjoy debating the existence or "inherent morality" of minority groups.
#☆ f i c t i o n (thon)#this time he and i argued over if people with narcissistic personality disorder are evil or not#he said something to the effect that they are soulless because they cannot understand the emotions of others#...hello? we also cannot tell the emotions of others due to our autism?#anyway narcissistic personality disorder does not make a person evil and i cannot believe we had to agree to disagree on this subject#alan why are you even talking about souls? you are an aggressively anti-theistic atheist?#ableism#ask to tag
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aight im just gonna say it. some folks really gotta stop treating nishikiryu like they’re actually related and considering anyone who’s so much as Okay with them as a pairing of being incest apologists. like. that’s a legitimately fucked up and serious thing to accuse someone of just because of your view of two factually unrelated fictional characters.
#like. i really don’t like yumi being a love interest for kiryu and think she’d be best as a sister figure to him#a dynamic which could’ve formed while growing up alongside him at sunflower. that absolutely does not mean I would start blocking#and shittalking people for being ‘incest shippers’ as if I have the mora high ground and self righteousness to do so#it is really not different. only difference is the use of the word kyodai. which is an honorary title and not inherently synonymous with#viewing someone as your Actual Literal Sibling.#like just. chill the fuck out.#throwing that kinda accusation around is honestly no better than someone throwing around terms like ‘abuser’ or ‘gaslighting’#over subjective and unserious situations#no one is asking you to change your view of them. no one’s asking you to like them as a pairing. just say you don’t see it that way and move#on. not everything is a moral issue where someone needs to be condemned for something.#tldr: don’t be an asshole#this reminds me of the post that’s like. hey sometimes it’s okay to just say you don’t like someone/something without trying to prove#that disliking it is the Morally Correct thing to do.#like for real dude.#anyway might delete this later or simplify it becuase I have honestly been scared to say anything about this for a long time#due to seemingly the majority of people considering this a highly controversial hot button issue#also sure blocking people is an option but. if you like someone/most of someone’s content and just don’t like a certain pairing or topic or#whatever that they’ll reblog on occasion you can also just. block the tag. unless they don’t tag their shit then it’s more understandable#but i most certainly do and I appreciate when other people do the same because I have one major pairing tag in this fandom blocked because#of how much i don’t like it and plenty of people I follow post this pairing occasionally and shockingly it does not bother me. because#of the ability to filter via tags. it’s really not hard#anyway yeah sorry. let’s see how fast I delete this cause boy am I scared of getting eaten alive for this Apparently Hot Take#rambling#edit: also just wanna note that this isn’t even my main/favorite pairing or anything. im not a diehard nishikiryu guy#im a diehard kazumaji guy though for sure. but I have a strong opinion on the topic because. like I said. the gravity of people’s#accusations is beyond Not Okay
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"Missspelling names is considered rude, so I think it's rude to do so when you dont want hate posts about said character in their dedicated tag" This is why fandom sucks ass at tagging their shit
#do you think its a good for a fandom look to open a tag of a character or ship#and be bombarded by negativity#we're not talking about one or two outliers#but several posts after another#do you think thats reasonable#to subject newcomers to this who will (correctly) deduce it's a toxic place#do you really#i hope your favourite character gets mischaracterised by a popular fanfic#that warps fanon so much they draw the ire of the whole fandom for crimes they didnt commit#and a live action that diverges so much from the source#but got so popular that it clutters the tags due to people double tagging both media#and people mixing up events from both sources up all the time#then maybe youll understand
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My geology class is the most chaotic class I've done so far. There's no pattern to the labs and quizzes we do, they're all random and there's no warning of when there will be one or when it is due. Every week in the moodle are like 8-12 videos/articles/documents to look at but there's always a couple of them that aren't for this class at all and I have no idea why they're there. I can't even figure out what the main point is we're supposed to be learning each week. There's a textbook but he never tells us what we're supposed to be reading from it and it looks like not even a real textbook but like its random geology rambling written by some guy.
#good thing I'm aroace because that teacher is very handsome by conventional beauty standards#good thing this is a subject I'm already very knowledgeable in due to special interests because I'm sure not learning much from this class#From what I understand#this 103 class is 203 class watered down and we get all the leftovers and not much attention#I hope the rest of college/university isn't like this because this sucks
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i just finished writing the last chapter of blurred lines and lies 💔 time for the endings 🙏🏼
#꒰📑꒱ dea talks !#bro i said i was gonna do hw#bc its due tmrw morning#but the assignment doesnt close until 11pm#saur i decided to do it tmrw#bc whateva#also im tired bc i got home late 😄#im finally going to move back to the city and im renting w my friend#and the apt is like right down the street from my uni#so slay i can finally do my hw on time and get my shit together#also im finally healingggg im breaking away from my perfect student tendencies#CHEERS TO THAT#bc i deadass used to stay up till 3am from ms all throughout hs#if i didn't understand a subject#😭😭😭#anyways gn you lovely ppl 🫶🏼
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tbh the only reason why I'm not skipping every math lesson and actually giving it ago is bc I know Alan Turing would be disappointed
#jinx's hijinks#but fr why couldnt i get the good at math neurodivergency#like i feel so stupid because my primary school fucked me over in every aspect#i missed out on so many key parts of my learning due to so many factors#all my classmates hated me and i spent so much time just out of class#my school didnt give me any accommodations because i hadnt been flagged as neurodivergent#even tho i was very clearly neurodivergent#i had to leave so many lessons because i would cry uncontrollably or hide under desks because i didnt want to be around anyone#i found it so hard to pay attention to anything that didnt interest me and it effected me so badly#i dont know my times tables because i wasnt taught in a way we could understand#everyone around me understood but me and i was left to fall behind because they cared more about extending other kids further#than helping the kids who were struggling#and i know my school was like this because i excelled in other subjects and watched other kids fall behind because they struggled#anyways can education systems care more about oids who fall behind because it so quickly can fuck up the rest of their schooling#and make it so much harder for them
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