#i dont know my times tables because i wasnt taught in a way we could understand

[vengeful4ever]

tbh the only reason why I'm not skipping every math lesson and actually giving it ago is bc I know Alan Turing would be disappointed

[glitchdollmemoria]

as a "former gifted kid" who then proceeded to barely graduate high school and drop out of college, i DO think theres a massive issue with the way some (largely neurodivergent) people miss out on learning shit like How The Fuck To Study, and how we learn to equate our "intelligence" (aka our ability to get good grades) with our self worth to a damaging degree, and how "gifted" programs that have kids studying in small groups of other "advanced" students just end up fostering a sense of social isolation from a very young age, and probably ten million other problems with the whole shebang.

i think these things do need to be talked about, and personally i wouldnt want my kids in those programs! and now i worry about my ability to help my future kids with school, because i dont actually know the first thing about how to study, and i have a very poor understanding of a lot of "basic" high school subjects, even middle school subjects. i know that im a smart person in at least some aspects, but when it comes to organized education, im completely lost and honestly im already considering the possibility of needing to hire a tutor for my kids someday if i can afford it. and i feel like this all could have largely been avoided or at least eased, if i had actually been taught how to study and helped when i was struggling, rather than being expected to magically be able to understand any topic and complete any assignment just because, fucking, i was able to do math better than the other first graders. its unfair, and i know full well that other students struggle(d) as well and the whole usamerican education system needs to be overhauled, but im just speaking on my own experiences and what i know would have helped me at least a little, rather than leaving me a college dropout struggling to function in this capitalist hellworld.

but then i look at people who make being a Former Gifted Kid into a part of their identity, the people who talk over others in conversations about accommodations and such, the people who are overall just fucking obnoxious and seem to miss the days when adults would praise them for completing their times tables the fastest, and im like. hm. dont like any of this. this sucks. but maybe im just some schizo who cant keep its train of thought where it needs to be. maybe im just bitter because its not ONLY autism holding me back, but also schizotypy, and dissociation, and complex ptsd, and physical disabilities, and more fucking schizotypy. maybe i need to shut up and let the real neurodivergent people (sarcasm) do all the talking, and i should just accept that im crazy and deserve to live on the outskirts of everything. (actually there was so much sarcasm in this whole bit here. lmao.)

feeling very fucking bitter and cranky tonight if it wasnt obvious <3 love and light

[dancing-cockroaches]

Since this happened I decided next time I would just act like I didnt notice. Like "huh? What are you talking abou- OH MY GOOODDD HELP MEEE WHAT IS THIS???!!! AM I DYING??". A lil bit of smartass coping.

But I wasnt able to do that, because indeed it did happen again today when I went to do my taxes. This time, I was wearing fingerless compression gloves because they're the most comfortable kind & the only kind of gloves that arent excruciating to wear. I was also with my husband who would, I assume, rather me not divulge in ridiculous nonsense inside of a tax office. So this lady doing our taxes looked at me and said "what happened to your neck?" and all I could do was stare at the table, because my smartass coping retort probably wasnt the best option at this time. So I just stared at the table, completely shut down, hoping we could just move on rather than drag on the silence, but no. This bitch literally extended the silence until I was actually tearing up from the pressure of feeling all the eyes on me like I'm a freak, my husband actually had to mumble out "its eczema" before she had the decency to move on. Which sure I could've said that, it does seem simple enough, but I didn't want to. I didnt want to say anything about it.

When I got home, I was trying to think of a comfortable way to cover my neck. I remembered my husband bought his friends merch when they were in town to play for a show, conveniently a pashmina (or as they call it, a trashmina),. Another plus, its very soft/breathable/lightweight (unlike my other one from ragenation that's friggin rough and not nearly as soft). Downside, one side has a huge graphic of skulls & tentacles in a dumpster on it and the other just is covered in the word "yookie" & tiny pictures of trashcans. Not exactly work appropriate. But they can shove it, I'm still wearing it in my dept office anyway (wearing it elsewhere like the units is a general no-no regardless of design due to the liability of the very low chance of being choked out with it). Anywhere outside of work though, its perfect, no more stares at any exposed parts like my neck & shoulders, as well as part of my face depending on if I wear it like a hood as well.

Eczema got me having to come up with ways to comfortably cover up because people in Vegas dont know how to MIND THEY OWN BUSINESS. Like ong this sort of shit was not common back in NY. MYOB was an essential rule we were taught since we were children. Mind ya own fuckin business. Guess that's not a popular way of life in other places, cause my goodness these people are obnoxiously nosey.

I just want to crawl in a cave and hide. My eczema has gotten so bad people feel the need to comment on it.

Most recent situation, I had to go to the social security office to update my last name. After I handed over my documents the window clerk (or whatever their title is) said to me "is that eczema?" I just said yup, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. Except they continued to stare at my hands and say "it looks really bad". I felt kinda caught off guard, didnt know what else to do other than say I'm seeing a doctor for it.. but I dont know the point. As in, why the fuck do so many people feel the need to point it out as if I dont notice, my skin feels like its burning and covered in glass I fuckin notice it. I could be wearing long sleeve shirt and pants and feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowd naked.

[miridiums-writing]

Vincent Phantomhive relationship headcanons

As always I tried to be as inclusive as possible, let me know if you feel there are things I could change, im always down for positive feedback

I went off on a tangent in some parts I apologise

He is a complete gentleman

And complete trust is important to him in a relationship

He wants everything on the table sooner rather than later so you both are always on the same page

The only thing he may be inclined to hide to begin with is his job because if the dangers surrounding it

Other than that he will explain his love language, the way he wants the relationship to go, he wants to know your limits boundaries.

He always respects your boundaries and makes sure never to push it, the last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable with him

He wants to know if your trans, he would never discriminate he just wants to know everything about you so there are no shocks later in life.

As we all know I hope. Vincent was raised by his butler exactly like Ciel.... kinda, his wasnt a demon. This means he has a lot of respect for everyone regardless of background because that was what he was taught.

He could care less about your family background and if you lived in poverty, he wants to know you completely vulnerable and on the table.

This mans love language is acts of service, if you have a bad day he will run you a bath and care for you.

He will buy that newspaper you mentioned in passing was good to let you read at breakfast.

He would remember which are your favourite meals to request the chefs to make for you again.

Although another big one is physical affection

not because im touch starved I actually think this is true

He loves to give you forehead kisses, tall or short he could care less let him lovingly kiss your forehead.

Hand kisses are a big one too, every time you descend the stairs in the morning and he sees you at the bottom before you both head out together he takes your hand in his and kisses it before holding you close to walk to the carriage.

Sounds dramatic? Too bad

He always holds you close in public, could care less about the stares he needs you close

Parties always have an arm around your waist as he talks to people. Introducing you as his lovely beautiful gorgeous spouse

Because you are dont fuck with me on this you beautiful human being

Which leads me onto the topic of jealousy.

Now this man has two moods, if he is having a good day he doesn't mind, he trusts you whole heartedly and knows you will always come back to him, will just watch you deal with the problem yourself, your strong enough. He believes in you.

But there are those rare occasions

When he is just in an awful mood and the last thing he needs is someone trying to hit on his s/o

So he will come up behind you and glare at them and lead you away.

This man could never be truly angry at you, he loves you so deeply, he knows that person is the one at fault and would never take it out on you

The only thing you get is his sweet doting clingy side. Where he takes you home and cuddles and kisses you for hours.

Which leads me on to sleeping

He is clingy, this is a fact

Big spoon all the time, he needs to security of you being in his arms safe and snug

Gives his reassurance he is doing the right thing

Always gives at least 10 kisses before he even tries to sleep

He reminds you everyday how deeply he loves you

In different ways each time not always saying it, but he makes it knows so you know you are always loved.

For my shorties out there

Every day without fail he picks you up at least once and spins you around to make you laugh

For my taller peeps

Everyday without fail he comes up to you and hugs you really tight, he likes to put his head on your chest during these moments and tickle you, or makes a funny joke, anything to make you laugh

Now arguments with this man wouldn't happen often if ever

If they did ever happen he would stay very calm

Never raises his voice because he knows it won't go anywhere and tries to work with you to solve the problem there and then so you dont both stew on it.

The only instance I can think that an argument would start was if he was super stressed from overworking and accidentally snapped at you

He would apologise instantly and make sure to take a break

He really just wants you to always be happy.

Now for all my peeps who have shark week

He is incredibly doting on you

As if he wasnt already

But seriously he will cuddle you all you need, rub your abdomen if cramps get bad.

If your like me and are just hungry he will get you food, tries to convince you to eat something healthy too

Now if you got sick?

Panics for a bit until he realises panicking isn't gonna make you feel better, then abe internally panics that he has no idea what he is doing.

Asks Tanka what to do because he trusts him

Follows all his instructions to a t to make sure your ok

Even if it is something as simple as a cold

Now if you ever got injured the same thing would occur

Tanaka would be brought in for advice

But if the injury had something to do with his job and his status he would rethink being with you because your safety is important to him

You would need to calm him down a bit and talk him out of it

Which is pretty easy because you make him weak

You are his weakness and he could care less, as long as he can fall asleep with you in his arms

[bridgyrose]

Heya, it been awhile XD

As always, I've been enjoying your fluffy snippets, but if you're up for some angst...

Ruby is a newly graduated Huntress following up on a child trafficking ring in Mistral m, which ends up taking her to Atlas. There she stays at 'The Glass Unicorn' and meets a maid called 'Cinder'. A woman who has long given up on her freedom and what it means to be a Huntress...

Otherwise, if you're still enjoying the fluffy side of things, some fluffy BeesSchnees is always good XD

Ruby sighed as she looked between a paper in her hand and to the hotel standing in front of her. For a moment, she was a bit confused on what The Glass Unicorn had to do with any sort of child trafficking ring. However, the name of the woman who owned this place came up more than once on the ledgers of that old barn. And if she wanted answers, she was going to need to start her.

Rain started to pour from the sky as Ruby walked into the hotel, pausing for a moment as she felt out of place. Sure, there were hunters and huntresses from all over, but even for Atlas standards, this place was higher end. Everywhere she looked, all she saw was an excuse for wealth to be displayed. Once she regained her composure, she walked up to the front desk. “I need a room.”

The blonde woman looked Ruby over for a moment before noticing it was a huntress in front of her. With a few quick clicks on her keyboard, a card popped out of her computer. “Room 402. Meals will be brought straight to your room. And dont bother talking to the staff.”

Ruby looked at her curiously as she took the card. “Why not?”

The woman looked directly into Ruby’s eyes. “Its not their job to talk to anyone.”

Ruby sighed and put the card in her pocket, turning to start heading up the stairs. She looked around as she walked, all the patrons seeming to enjoy everything the hotel offered. It all reminded her of why she was doing this: to try to make the world a better place. And right now, Atlas was not that better place.

Ruby watched a few of the staff bring out meals to the patrons, along with anything else they needed or cleaned up any messes that were made. The longer she watched, the less convinced she became that this hotel was going to be the link to this ring. Everything she found always became a dead end and this last lead of hers seemed to be no different.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

Ruby looked up at the third floor, watching one of the patrons yelling at one of the maids. She tried to get a better look, making her way to the stairs on the opposite side as she watched the maid drop to the ground to pick up the food that fell on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I didnt mean to-”

“Didnt mean to what? Give lousy service?” The patron spat at the maid, pushing past her and knocking her over. “Lousy maid bringing over half cooked food…”

Ruby watched the maid move her hair out of her face as she started to scrub, hearing a small sigh escape from the girl. She felt sorry for the girl, walking over to her. “Ah… miss… I was hoping I could ask you something.”

The maid didnt look up, seemingly avoiding eye contact with Ruby. “I-I’ll make sure your room is cleaned once I’m finished here.”

Ruby knelt down and picked up some of the fruit that had spilled. “That’s not what I was going to ask about. I was hoping you might be able to answer a few questions I have about this place.”

The maid stopped and slowly looked up at Ruby with tired eyes. “Y-you’re a huntress…”

“I am. What is your name?”

“Cinder.”

Ruby smiled and extended a hand to Cinder. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cinder smiled for a moment, then it quickly disappeared as she quickly started to work again, keeping her head low. “I’m… I’m not allowed to talk to you. Please, go to your room and I’ll bring you your meal.”

Ruby was about to speak until she heard a voice coming from behind her.

“Cinder, you’re needed in the kitchen.”

Ruby watched as Cinder stood up and started hurrying off past her, making her way downstairs. “Do your staff always get treated like this?”

The woman from the front desk stood behind Ruby, shaking her head. “Only that one. She’s a bit of a… problem. The only reason I dont fire her is because she’s one of my daughters. She knows she’s only to be seen, not heard. I’ll make sure she wont bother you again.”

Ruby watched the woman turn around and head back downstairs towards the kitchen after Cinder. At this rate, even if this ended up as a dead end with the trafficking ring, then maybe there was something else that she could fix.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinder winced a bit as she brought a tray to room 402, doing her best to keep from moving the collar that was around her neck. Everytime she messed up, all she could feel was that familiar sting. And every time, it hurt. She adjusted a small cloth she had around her neck, hiding the scars from the collar. She quietly knocked on the door, praying that whoever was in this room wasnt going to treat her like the rest of the patrons did.

Ruby slowly opened the door and smiled a bit at Cinder. “I was wondering when you’d come around.”

Cinder looked away a bit, holding out a tray to Ruby and staying quiet. The pain from her last punishment still lingered around, and she was terrified to be caught talking to anyone now.

Ruby noticed and sighed, taking the tray. “If you’re not going to talk right now, then maybe you can help me out with a few things in my room. There’s a few spots that could use a bit of cleaning.”

Cinder nodded and slowly walked into the room, pausing once she saw Ruby’s weapon laying down on a table. It wasnt the first time she had seen a hunter’s weapon within easy grabbing, and wasnt the first time she had the desire to reach out for it.

Ruby noticed and walked over, picking up her weapon and smiling a bit. “Like weapons too? You can hold her if you’d like.”

Cinder hesitated for a moment, wanting to reach towards the weapon. She stopped half way and sighed and she pulled her hand back. “I… cant.”

“Why not?”

Cinder didnt answer, looking away from Ruby. She didnt know how to tell a huntress that she had to get away from her family. That she’d do anything if it meant not being with them anymore.

Ruby sighed and sat Crescent Rose down. “You… wanted to be a huntress at one point, didnt you?”

Cinder froze on the spot. The thought had occurred to her, and there was that one huntsman, Rhodes, who taught her a few things, but he disappeared when she was younger. “Y-yes… but its… more than that…”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

Cinder looked around nervously before pulling down the cloth around her neck and pulling up the sleeves of her outfit. Scars lined her wrists while one scar circled her neck exactly where her necklace, the collar she wore, sat.

Ruby frowned when she saw the scars on Cinder, picking up her weapon and heading out of the room. “Stay here.”

Cinder nodded and sat down, terrified about what was going to happen. She had spent years trying to figure out how to get away from the madam, but all of her attempts at obtaining a weapon to get away had failed. And now, an actual huntress had seen the marks that had been left, the reminders of each of her failures on running away, each mistake she had made while working.

It wasnt long before Cinder heard muffled shouts from outside the room, her sisters and the madam clearly angry at Ruby. She cowered a bit, thinking she knew exactly what to expect: Ruby was going to let the madam in just like everyone else. She’d believe the lies that were told, that she was a troubled child that was taken in by the gratitude of the madam’s heart, that she was a thief and a liar that everyone had to keep an eye on. Even after the shouts died down, she still waited, flinching as she watched the door open.

Ruby rushed into the room, blood dripping from her scythe as she grabbed her things. “Cinder, you’re coming with me.”

Cinder felt a bit confused, hesitating for a moment. “You… want me to come with you?”

“Well, currently you’re unemployed and have nowhere to go. You can either stay here in Atlas, maybe find your way down to Mantle and find a job, or you can come with me and I can help you become a huntress. I can at least teach you how to defend yourself and others from the grimm, maybe even help you take the exam for your hunter’s license. Give you a new start.”

Cinder was still a bit confused, but followed after Ruby, pausing as she saw the madam laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. “You killed her…”

Ruby sighed as she kept walking. “She attacked me first. I thought all of this was going to be a dead end, but it seems like I ended up on the right track after all. I know you were bought through a child trafficking ring, and I know you’re not the only one she had purchased. If you can help me get a bit more proof, I think I can put an end to this. I know its a bit late and there isnt much I can do about what had happened to you, but I can at least help you with your new freedom now.”

Cinder sped up to catch up to Ruby, sticking close to her. “But why help me? I’m… I’m just a nobody. A kid that was sold into this life. I dont deserve any kindness.”

“Because if I cant help someone, then what’s the point of being a huntress?” Ruby stopped for a moment, pulling out her scroll and holding it up to Cinder to take a picture. “And besides, the world is already cruel enough. I think its time we try to make it a better place.”

[kaz11283]

Only One God For Me

(Part 2 of Love Never Wins)

SUMMARY: After blowing up at him afyer weeks of hiding out you challenge Loki to hand to hand. Blowing up might have been the best thing, it could help you let off that frustration you had built up.

Characters: Nat, Clint, Thor, Loki, avengers on the side line.

(Loki x you, clint x you, Thor x you, Nat x you)

ANNOUNCEMENT: I didnt know how much part 1 was going to be but I am forever greatful in this amazing community! Thank you guys SO much! Check out my other stuff too if you like this. As always reblog, ask, comment, and like! After I finish up here I'll be back to writing for Fire and Ice. Thank you again so SO much for everything! 💚💚💚

Loki Master List

~~~~

You and Nat were standing at one end of the training area as Loki walked in. You glanced up from Nat wrapping your hands and noticed he was wearing his normal traing gear. Plain leather black pants with a dark green Henley, his hands already wrapped.

"Focus, your getting distracted." She said yanking on one of the straps.

"Ow. I cant help it Nat, we went from cant keep our hands away from each other to literally fist fighting each other. Ya know this is normally frowned upon is normal society." You streched your fingers out and balled them back up streching out the gloves a little.

"Hunny, even in a perfect world were anything but normal. I mean for god sakes your fighting a literal god. You remember what I taught you. Right?" She asked looking almost terrified for me.

"Yes mother, I havent forgotten. This is gonna be a piece of cake." Inside you were freaking out. You normally was in a very high spot with your bow or normally trying to break into the computers. You wasnt normally in hand to hand combat, but you were smarter than to think you would never need it.

You turned shaking you head and putting the mouth piece in your mouth. Hitting you fist together jumping back and forth getting ready. Loki just stood there smirking. You was gonna smack that smirk off his face.

"Hey sis, Im not saying you cant beat him just be careful. He throws a nasty left hook." Clint said munching on some chips."Thanks, Hawk. Mind explaining why the rest of the team is here?" You mumbled around the mouth piece.

"Thor, definitely Thor." He said walking back to the small group that gathered.

"Sweetheart. Are we gonna fight or are you just gonna stand there chit chatting?" He called across the mat.

"I'm coming." You walked across the mat to the center. Someone hit a bell signaling for the fight to start and he jumped toward you. You dodged his first attemped and circled him slowly. You could read his every move, read where he was going next.

You took a defence stance that Nat had taught you from your training before he lunged again. This time you managed to upper cut him in the side knocking some of the wind from him.

"Oh you little minx. I figured I would take it easy on you but we can play your way also." This time he took a step back centering himself. Looking up you noticed he had a dangerous look in his eye.

"I didnt invite you here to take it easy on me, I invited you because you dont take anything serious. Because if someone like me can beat you in hand to hand then anyone can." You stepped closer to him gauging what move you was going to make next.

He dropped down to the mat attempting to sweep your legs out from under you, he missed one but caught the other causing you to fall. He jumped on top of you pinning your hands above your head. "Now this positions brings back memories." He whispered to you causing your face to turn bring red. You brought your leg up able to wrap it around his waist and slammed him back down to the mat gaining some advantage.

"This one also." He smirked. You raised your fist above you aiming for his face. Whem you brought it down he moved his head causing you to miss. It felt like forever that you were both on the mat neither one gaining aginst the other. A busted lip here a bloody nose there. When the bell rang for a break Nat was in your corner with Clint offering you some water and a rag ti wipe the blood off.

"Sis, I'm try in real hard not to grab an arrow and stabe him with it." Clint said from one side. You could see anger in his eyes.

"Hawk, its fine. Given the circumstance its all good. Its just training in a matter of speaking. Anger is mostly wunning but I got this. I was trained by the best. I'm not even tired." You took another drink of water before going back out to the mat.

"This is fun. I have never seen my brother trying harder to win anything in his life." Thor shouted across the room. "Lady y/n is quite good at sparing. We must fight sometime." Thor laughed.

A few more rounds when and you could feel the weight of the afternoon but you wasjt about to simply throw in the towel just yet. You knew you could get the best of him. You had thrown him back on the mat then he took his feet placing them on your chest shoving you off of him. Before you knew it you were surrounded by multipuls of him.

"Loki we agreed no sedair! This is cheating!" You yelled at them.

"God of Mischief and lies sweetheart. Besides we're in weird predicaments all the time. You said so yourself. Tell you what. You find the real me and I'll forfeit." One of the clones said. You stood up in the middle of them all focusing everything you had on concentrating, ignoring Clint yelling in the background and the rest of the group shouting.

You opened your eyes zeroing in on one closest to you and walked up to him.

"Are you sure your right about this decision?" It mocked.

"Yeah. I think I am." You brought the ball of yoyr fist up crashing it into Loki's nose. The rest of the clones disappered as he fell to his knees in front of you. "You are a complete and utter asshole Loki Odinson. I hope that it messes with you for a while that you got beat by a mortal." You started unwrapping your gloves as you walked away.

Over the next few weeks you avoided every living space in the tower that you knew he would be in. It had truly hurt you that he had cheated during the fight. You still couldnt understand how just months before you couldn't keep your hands off of each other now you were both avoiding each other like the plague.

"Miss y/n. Team has a mission. Tony wants everyone in the confrence room dressed and ready in 15 minutes." JARVIS called pausing your movie. With a roll of your eyes you walked to your bedroom to start getting ready. Pulling out your tight skinny jeans a black tank top and your zip up hoodie you French braided your hair and grabbed your bow case before heading down.

The rest of the team was gathered when you walked in and placed your case on the table opening it up to make sure everything was right. Streching out the strings and making sure the sights were spot on aiming them to the other side of the room where Loki stood.

"It would be more effecitve if you had an arrow." Clint whispered next to you.

"Shut up, I'm just making sure everything is right." You put it back down in the case and started going over your arrows.

"You realize we have a place you can put that when your not using it." Tony said walking around you.

"Right up your ass if you suggest that again." You laughed putting everything back up.

"Love the enthusiasm kid." Tony laughed walking to the front of the table.

"Ok Team, going to be a long few days for us. Just got some Intel about a caravan carrying some explosives across the Scandinavian border. Gonna have to divide into teams for this one. Hawk, Nat, Strange, Rodgers, Bruce, and Thor you'll be starting at the meeting point and working your way toward us. The rest is with me." Tony pulled a map up on the big screen showing where you wwre going.

"Oh come on, why cant I be with the A team?" You asked with a groan.

"Sorry kid, gotta divide it up right. One god for each, one Archer. Only fair. And even if you two hate each other you guys work good together." Tony shrugged.

"Yeah sorry kid." Clint laughed.

"Hey I'm a full three minutes older that you. Probably explains why I'm better. Whatever. I'll go pack my stuff." You huffed standing up.

The next two hours seems to drag by, it was freezing here. You was just ready to get this over with so that you could go back home and relax in a nice warm bath, you pulled your jacket tighter aginst you.

"I've told you many times that you should start wearing the uniform that they gave you. You'll freeze to death one day." Loki said taking off his cloak and putting it around your shoulders.

"Thanks, but I'm still pissed at you." You hugged it closer. "I hate the whole uniform thing. To tight to revealing."

Another few minutes pass before Tony gives everyone the heads up that your about to be over the caravan. Figuring you were warm enough you took the cloak off and handed it back to him. "You may still be pissed at me but I do still care very deeply for you y/n. I was an idiot for everything." He took it and wrapped it around his shoulders. When his fingers grazed yours there was a surge that went through you.

"Give me time. You really hurt me, not just by breaking up with me but by lying to me during training. Good luck out there God of Mischief."

"Tony, your gonna have to get lower i cant get a clear shot on the driver!" You yelled over the wind whipping around your face. About that time a diffrent arrow shot through gettkng the driver in the side causing the vehicle to completly stop.

"Gotta be faster than that sis. One for me." Clint laughed over the com.

"You are my least favorite person right now Hawk." You mumbled. Tony brought the Quinn Jet down so your team could spread out.

"That is truly saying something my dear." Lokis smooth voice said in your ear.

"You gave me your cloak to keep me warm. Gave you a fell points." You pulled back again and shot it through the truck behind the first hitting the driver in the head. "Got one, Hawk, your next."

"Can we cut the chatter. Got alot going on in the sky at the moment." Tony said. Youbcould here something firing above you looking up you could see Tony being followed by a jet firing at him. "Need some back up guys. Twins. Anyone."

"Hawk. I need a Boom Boom stick." You met him in the middle of the road.

"I really wish you wouldnt call them that." He said handing you one. You both pulled your bows back and aimed. "Heads or tails?"

"I like the tails." You let go of the sting and watched as the jet exploded.

"I think she can call them whatever she wants as long as she keeps doing a good job keeping bogies off my ass." Tony yelled over the coms.

"I hate this. I cant see shit down here." You yelled over to Clint. "I gotta get higher." You looked around eyeballing the turnes over truck. You threw the bow across your back and started climbing up the truck. Shots rang around you one grazing your side, before it had started it was like it stopped looking behind you you noticed Loki with his daggers in his hands.

"You need to pay more attention y/n." He scolded you.

"Why pay attention when I have someone keeping an eye out for me." You smiled.

"Oh darling Im doing more than just keeping an eye out." After everything that ass had done to you he was flirting FLIRTING with you.

"Y/N! No. More. Gods." Clint yelled. From here you could see everything going on. Nat fighting two men, you took one out easily from your spot. She shot you a thumbs up. Bruce had hulked out throwing things everywhere, multiple times you had to dodge something flying your way. The fight was almost over when you glanced behind you noticing four men backing Loki aginst a turned over car.

His hands were up as if in surrender. "Loki why arent you using your sedair?" You mumbled pulling the bow back.

"Well darling you could say that I am in on of those weird predicaments. I've exahusted alot of my power down here." His back was aginst the truck now.

"Could let him get beat up." Clint pipped in as you shot one of your last arrows though two of the guys standing there. You watched Loki easily take out the other two.

"Told you Hawk, I'm not like that." You smiled walking over to Loki. "Although you could use a little practice in hand to hand, dont you agree?"

"Only if your the one practicing with me he smailed down at you.

"Ugh! Y/n! No mo-" Clint started before you pulled the com from your ear.

"Only one God for me." You leaned up kissing Loki on the cheek.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

[thenervousmedic]

I had a minecraft dream last night...

This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.

I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.

It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.

To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.

I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...

The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.

I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.

Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.

On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.

By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.

You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.

The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.

Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.

Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.

Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.

When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.

I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.

By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.

I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.

Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.

Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.

George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.

Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.

And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.

Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.

We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.

Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.

I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.

I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.

Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.

Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.

Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.

Dream never got over it.

Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.

Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.

George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.

Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.

Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.

I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.

Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.

Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.

Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.

Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.

I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.

Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.

Bad descovered a joy for cooking.

Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.

Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.

Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.

Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.

I never knew what I looked like...

Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.

Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.

Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.

I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.

George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.

I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.

Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.

That's all I can remember...

It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.

I hope I return to that dream someday.

[backtobackbakubabe]

Stuck in the Middle with You (Part 3)

Bakugo X Reader

Words : 2280

*****************************************************************************************************

How? How has it already been five days? The two of you had fallen into a routine that was borderline domestic. Bakugo was an early riser so every morning you could expect to wake up to a fresh pot of coffee and some kind of breakfast. Pancakes were usually his go to. It could have been because you had a shit ton of pancake batter... or maybe he had picked up on the fact you really liked pancakes? 

After breakfast he would do some kind of workout, sometimes using your backyard to do sprints or using your lawn furniture as weights. You had to admit he was kind of... hot when he got all sweaty. You’d never let him know that though. He’d let it go straight to his head and you'd never hear the end of it, So instead of watching him workout like you wanted to , you would usually curl up on the sofa with your iPad and do todays crossword puzzle. 

Then next on the list was you binge watching criminal minds with him and you both would bet on who the killer was. You always won, which Bakugo always pretended to be mad about. He would call you a cheater because this was what you did for a living. You’d both bicker and complain but without fail you'd always end up leaning on him and he would always pull you closer. It was nice. 

Then when dinner rolled around he would do his best to teach you how to cook. That was the deal after all. He would growl under his breath every time you did something wrong but he’d never actually scold you. Instead he would patiently help you fix it. This was a whole different side to him you had never seen. To be fair you had really only spent time with him in school, and in group settings. Maybe this was normal one on one behavior for him... you’d have to ask Kiri. 

Tonight he was teaching you how to make home made sushi. He insisted it wasnt as hard as it looked but you didnt believe him. He said that about everything he had taught you so far, and so far it was all really hard. 

Cooking with Bakugo was... rather difficult. He was a great teacher and actually way more patient then you would have thought, it was just... his proximity. He was always right next to you or leaning on you, sometimes he’d take your hand and try and to guide you through the motions. As comforting as you found his presence, your brain would just shut down when he was that close to you. You’d find yourself lost in your thoughts. 

Today was no different. Right now he is right next to you showing you how to roll the rice paper and you started your usual spiral. Is he mad he’s stuck here? Does he like teaching you to cook? Wow he smells nice. Why does he sleep on your floor every night? Is it comfortable? Does his back hurt? Should you invite him to sleep in your bed? Would he think thats weird? Should you tell him to go back to the couch? Would that hurt his feeling? Wow his body heat feels great. Wait...  did he stop talking?

“OI! Earth to smalls! I swear you’re always so hyper focused when watching tv but it when it comes to cooking its like you check out completely! You’re the one who asked me to teach you how to cook.”

You blushed and gave him a quick shrug, “You're right I’m sorry. I am trying though. It’s just sometimes I get stuck in my own head.”

Bakugo softened a bit as he turned to lean on the counter and look at you, “Yeah I know. Usually I dont have a problem with it but the kitchen isn't exactly the best place for you to go all space cadet. It’s full of things that can and will cut you, burn you, and squish you....”

A vision of a first aid kit popped into your head and your lip quirked in a soft smile. You didn't mean to take peaks into Bakugo’s head but sometimes it was like his thoughts were screaming at you. Begging for you to see. It was almost like he wanted you to know that he would take care of you if you got hurt. “I’m a big girl Bakugo. If i get hurt it won't be any ones fault but mine. But I will try to focus a bit more, I promise.” 

You put your hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, “So what’s next?”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes at you, indicating he didnt think the conversation was over. He picked up the finished plates of sushi and headed towards the kitchen table? “Now we eat and you tell me what you were thinking about.”

You blushed as you took your normal seat across from him. “Do we have to?”

Bakugo stopped mid bite, “Uh... yeah. Eating is kind of necessary to survival y/n.” 

You rolled your eyes, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Bakugo smirked, “Well maybe I’d know you better if you actually talked to me. You were the one bitching the other day that you didnt know anything about me... come on... what had you stuck in the cramped little brain of yours a few minutes ago?”

You huffed as you threw your hands up in frustration, “Same thing as always! You! Its always you. Not in like a weird way or anything... I swear... It’s just... I dont know!”

You saw the faintest of blushes grace his cheeks before he composed himself, “What about me?” 

You took a sip of your water as you searched for the right words. “I just... I tend to over think every single aspect of my life. And right now... you’re basically the only thing in my life. I keep wondering if you’re happy here or if you’re miserable being stuck here with me. I wonder if you’re back hurts from sleeping on the floor and if I should offer to let you sleep in the bed. Then I wonder if that’s creepy. It starts as something so innocent and then it just spirals until I fall down the rabbit hole... completely lost in my own head.”

Bakugo nodded as he took another bite of his sushi, “Sounds exhausting... Why not just ask me instead, and save yourself the trouble?”

You eyes widened, “What do you mean?”

It was his turn to roll his eyes at you, “I mean idiot.. instead of getting tangled up in wondering about me and my feeling just fucking ask... No. I am not miserable, I actually find your company to be pleasant. No my back doesn't hurt from sleeping on your floor but I can't say the same for my shoulder. No it wouldn't be creepy to ask if I wanted to sleep in your bed... honestly I think that's very sweet of you and as long as you were comfortable I may even take you up on it... There yeah see... problem solved.... anything else I can clear up for you?”

It was like this weird buzzing in your head that you hadn't even noticed was there had finally stopped. Was it really that easy. “Yeah actually... would you mind if I joined you during your workouts sometime? I’m not in as good as shape as I used yo be... but..”

“But nothing... of course you’re welcome to join. I won't go easy on you though. Never have and I won't start now!”

You bit back a smile as you mind wandered back to the all the times at UA you stood across from him during training. He scared the absolute shit out of you then. His intensity had really done a number on your anxiety. But honestly whether he knew it or not it had also helped you prepare for the real world. “I wouldn't expect it any other way believe me.” 

After diner you both got ready for bed and instead of watching tv in the living room you had decided to just go ahead and get in bed. You had expected him to stay up a little later but to your surprise he walked in a few minutes after and stood at the end of your bed, “So what's the deal? Am I sleeping on the floor or what?” 

You gestured to the empty side of the bed, “That side’s all yours. I’m sorry in advance if I accidentally hit you. It hasn't happened in a while, but I’ve been known to thrash around when I’m having intense dreams.”

He smirked, “As if it would even hurt. I’ll be fine. It’s your bed anyways, thrash around all you want.” 

You pulled out your iPad and started on a new crossword puzzle. 

Bakugo crawled in to bed next to you and took a peak over your shoulder. “May I ask what is with you and crossword puzzles?”

You shrugged, “They’re fun. They keep your brain sharp. They’re relaxing. And sometimes they are excellent distractions. I love all puzzles though. Not just crosswords. I love anything that makes me think. I mean look at my job. Sometimes I feel like I’m just playing a game of clue.” 

He scooted a bit closer and after a few minutes of silence he reached over to point at one of the clues, “ Nitroglycerin... thats the answer.”

You smiled, “I’d say I’m surprised but if you know about anything it’s about what blows up.”

He held a crackling hand close enough for you to see but far enough to not be dangerous, “Well I sweat the stuff, so of course I’d know about it but I’ll have you know I’m fucking smart. I’m not just a hot piece of ass. I got better grades than fucking Deku half the time. What app is that... I’ll show you.”

You giggled as you helped him download the puzzle page app on his phone and he immediately started to try and complete puzzles faster than you. You could hear him cursing under his breath when he would get stuck and once you caught him trying to take a peak at your screen. 

“Katsuki! I know you are competitive but I never would have believed you to be a cheater!” You hid your screen from his view as your eyes connected with his slightly embarrassed look. 

“I’m not a cheater! It’s not cheating! It’s just... reconnaissance...You had information I needed and I simply observed to gain that information...”

You swatted at him, “Oh you are so busted!”

He laughed “Shit calm down woman! You said it yourself! You fucking solve puzzles for a living! I needed all the help I could get!”

You sat up straight, “What happened to ‘I’m fucking smart. I’m not just a hot piece of ass’?”

He sat up too inserting himself into your personal space, “I am fucking smart! You’re just...” His voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper, “fucking smarter.”

You were now on your knees jumping up and down, “Oh my fucking god! Did Bakugo Katsuki really just admit that someone was better than him at something?”  

He hid his face while you jumped up and down in celebration but when he looked at you he looked happy, “Yeah yeah, whatever smalls. You win this time but there’s always tomorrow.” 

You got back in you spot and grabbed the remote to turn on the tv, “I’ll probably beat you tomorrow too. But dont worry Katsuki... at least you’re still be a hot piece of ass..” 

He gave you a light shove as you picked something to watch. It didnt take long for you to drift off. In fact you had fallen asleep much faster than you usually did. And for once your dreams where pretty tame. No bad memories haunting you, no anxieties dragging you down. Instead you dreamed about the UA sports festival, and this time you won instead of Bakugo.

When you woke up you felt a pressure on your back as well as a vice like grip around your hip. You didnt know what was more surprising, the fact you woke up before Bakugo, or that he was currently spooning you. 

You cleared your throat and wiggled a bit to try and wake him up but he just groaned, “Uhhh y/n could you not wiggle your ass when I’m right behind you.”

You scoffed, “I wouldn’t have to if you were on your side of the bed.”

He squeezed you tighter, “I wouldn't be on your side of the bed if I hadn’t had to physically restrain you so you’d stop hitting me last night...”

You blushed, “I’m sorry... I did try and warn you...”

His eyes still closed, obviously still tired, “It’s cool, you calmed down as soon as I held you.”

You put your hand over his that was still wrapped around your waist, “Well I’m awake now Bakugo and I promise I won't hit you. You can let go.”

He just nuzzled further into your back, “Well I’m still tired and I don’t want to. You’re the perfect size for a teddy bear smalls.”

You tried not to, but you snorted, “Ground Zero needs a teddy bear to sleep?”

He froze before he shoved you almost off the bed, “Shut up smalls... I’m gonna go make coffee.... and lots of it.” 

You watched the muscles in his back as he walked across the room in nothing but a pair of shorts... fuck... you were in over your head. 

[anotherbeingsworld]

New Beginnings.

Pairing: Thomas Mendez x MC (Louiza Day - Sam Day (daughter))

Prompt: A final Goodbye for the final day of @julychoiceschallenge

Book: Mother of the year.

A/N: Hi, sooo I have a new fic today! It is my submission to the final day of the @julychoiceschallenge . This is my first time writing for Mother of the Year and, I hope I did it justice! I was terrified on posting this, but.. I am feeling awfully brave right now. I apologize for any grammar mistakes, since English wasnt my first language! I hope all of you enjoy it, and .. dont worry, Bryce will come back very very soon! 😉 Enjoy!

PS - I dont the characters except the storyline.

Warning: *minor* mentions of death. Death of a side character.

Tags: @baltersome , @mvalentine , @storyofmychoices , @fantasyoverreality98 , @jaxsmutsuo , @aylamwrites @choicesficwriterscreations , @julychoiceschallenge (I DONT KNOW WHO TO TAG since its not a Bryce fic! But, comment down if you want to be tagged in future fics!!💛)

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10 years ago, both the lives of Thomas and Luz Mendez were changed by the news of  Soledad's death. The police knocked on their door, at midnight as Thomas was finishing up his work whilst Luz was in bed sleeping happily after the day she had. As the news dropped on every news channel, realization hits him like a brick, it was real. He had lost the love of his life, and Luz lost her mother.

Ten years later, at the exact same day. Both Thomas and Luz were never ready to face this day. Each year has been a challenge, as the pain of her sudden farewell was still felt by both of them. But, now… both of them are ready to move on from the pain. Their lives were changed once again by the arrival of Louiza Day and her beautiful daughter, Sam Day at Bernhardt Academy. Their existence in the Mendez's life gave a new meaning for both Thomas and Luz.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Luz loves her mother, as they would spend lots of time together before she passed. She remembers the little moments with her, as she would always give the best hugs especially when she was sad. The memory of Soledad singing her favorite song before she goes to bed, or the moments where she and Luz to cook with her at their very own kitchen. Those memories hold a special place in her heart, but… today, the memory stood out even more; as somehow her face was much more clearer as every little thing that she saw in the house, everything brought back to her.

Growing up, she would never think someone would take her place. But, Louiza came through and showed that she adored both herself and Thomas in the way no one could. Louiza made Thomas happy, and the smile on her father's face made her realize; her dad is making the right choice. Luz being sisters with Sam was a bonus, as they are best friends for life and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Luz glanced at her bedside table, as there were two frames. One of them was a picture of Soledad and Thomas hugging her years ago, as the smile that was displayed was bigger than anything in the world. And, a few inches away, a new frame where it was a memory of a hiking day with Louiza and Sam. A picture of them reaching the top of the hill, after a long day of hiking. Luz smiles at both of the frames. Her life was changed when Soledad left, and it was changed once more when Louiza and Sam came.

She puts on her favorite dress, as she wore a cardigan over it. There was a knock on the door, as she heard a voice.

'Luz honey, let's go. We are leaving soon.' The voice said from the other side of the door, as Luz gets herself ready.

'Yes, mom! I'm coming.' She replied as she took a bouquet of Daisies that she bought with Sam the day before, as she leaves the room.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas is getting himself ready in the other room, as he wore a tux; the same one he wore at her funeral years ago. He never stopped thinking about her, or what might have been if Soledad was still alive. There were plans made for both of them, as it was almost their anniversary when the accident happened. Ten years ago, his life had changed and, he felt lost. He always depends on Soledad, since she was considered as an alpha parent herself. The first few years without her is tough, he had to learn to be strong for Luz.

The arrival of one Louiza Day and her daughter, Sam into his life took him by surprise. He has sworn, the first moment at the bookstore, it was the first time he felt butterflies. It felt like being in high school once again discovering our first love. Louiza has her own charm and wits that he adores. But, above all she was there for him during his hardest moments. She would be there as she held him in her arms a few years ago, this day. She was brave on standing up to what's true, and the way she held her head up during the custody battle for Sam and working side jobs for the sake of her daughter, he admired her. He didn't realize he had fallen deep for her, as they were dancing in the living room to Frank Sinatra, she wasn't very much of a dancer, but… she was the best partner one could ever ask for. And, from that moment; he knew she was the one.

The fear that comes through with the feelings making his mind torn into a million pieces. He feared that Soledad wouldn't be happy with his decisions, he feared that he would be selfish to put his feelings first. He was afraid if Luz wouldn't accept his decision on moving on. But…one day, waking up in his bed, he wanted to be selfish for once, because he knows Soledad would want him to be happy. And, from that day on; he took his chance and, he didn't regret a thing. He gives in to his feelings because he wanted too.

He adjusts the lapels of his suit, as he heard footsteps coming from the door. He glances at the figure, as she walks towards him. She walks slowly, as she held onto the small bump that was shown through the dress.

'Are you ready?' She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

'With you, always.' He replied softly as they kissed.

They heard noises coming from the door once more, as Luz, Sam, and James are standing there giggling as they let out gagging noises which made them both chuckle. Thomas and Louiza walked out of the room, as he carries little James, their first child together in his arms whilst Luz and Sam held Louiza's hands. They left the house, as they started their small journey together.

The drive was short, as Thomas would felt a pang of sadness this time of the year. But, glancing at the passenger seat, he realizes he was not alone. He had a family who is going to be there for him when he felt down. Louiza squeezes his free hand, as she held it giving him the comfort through the short drive.

It was almost six in the evening, as they arrived at their destination. The scenery was beautiful, as the skies were clear and the atmosphere was calm. A beautiful day indeed. Thomas turns off the engine, as he took a deep breath steadying himself. He had done this several times, but it never failed to make him nervous.

'Its gonna be alright dad.' Luz said softly as she squeezes his shoulder from the backseat.

'We got you dad, right mom?' Sam said as she scoots forward placing a hand above Luz's.

Louiza nodded, as Thomas started to feel at ease. They finally exit the car and made their way through the Goldcliffe Cemetary. Luz and Sam were walking hand-in-hand, whilst James is in Thomas's arms, while Louiza follows beside him, with hands secured on her belly which is growing every day. It was their second child, as their family is growing every day.

The walk was short, as they finally arrived at Soledad's tombstone. It was near a large tree, as the leaves from the tree slowly falls from the wind. Thomas kneeled as Luz and Sam followed. They cleaned up the area, it has been their routine for the past ten years. After everything was done, Luz places the Daisies on top of it, as Sam held her hand the whole time.

'Hey mom, it's us! We all decided to came by today, and…we miss you. Dad and I missed you so so much, I hope you are doing amazing wherever you are. I told Sam and Louiza all of our stories and they enjoyed every part of it especially the ones where you burned the chili whilst making dinner! They loved you too, and little James also is giving you all the hugs as you would always give me. I love you, and I can't wait to see you again.' Luz stops herself before getting too emotional, as she clings onto Sam for support.

Thomas kneels, as he places his hand on the carvings on her name.

'We miss you so much love, I hope you are flying high wherever you are, never stop being your beautiful self and, know that I will always love you. Just like in our vows, 'We will always going to be together and nothing is gonna tear us apart.' and I will cherish your memory wherever I go, as you have taught me everything from being a father and, to being a great man. Thank you for everything love.' Thomas whispered slowly, as he stood up from the stone. The sun is about to set, as the skies transformed into various colors. It was a pinch of pink, and a combination of orange in the blend too.

Louiza places a kiss on his cheek, as the tears were in her eyes also. She never knew Soledad, but the stories she had lived to hear, she knew that Soledad was an amazing human being who had lived her life full of love and happiness.

The skies were beautiful, as Luz smiled happily at the sight of it. Thomas too, a wide smile on his face, knowing that he is finally ready to let go, especially the pain. Luz and Thomas hugged each other as it was somehow felt like a sign to them that Soledad was in a much better place and she was in peace.  Louiza and Sam including little James stood by them both, as the day couldn't have ended any other way.

They finally said their final goodbye to the pain, as they are ready to move forward knowing Soledad is happily watching them wherever she is now.

Thomas glances into Louiza's eyes, as it softens.

'I love you.' He stated as he held her in his arms. She was about to reply, before Sam and Luz beat her to it.

'WE LOVE YOU TOO!' All of them said at the same time, pulling Thomas into a bear hug, his very own family.

Sometimes, the point of letting go is the chance to allow ourselves to have closure once more. Standing there, at the beautiful land as they said their final farewells to the past, moving on into the future. Luz and Thomas were ready to face the future, knowing that the past is always going to be there to guide them forward onto a new beginning or perhaps, a new edition to their very own family.

THE END.

A/N #2: Hii, I hope all of you enjoy it!!! This has been a fun write and it hits really hard at home, but.. I hope all of you loved it! Dont forget to like, reblog and comment, it means a lot. 💛 Thank you for reading - A

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[mollydollyjournals]

Finally had a long talk with hb about divorce and all that. A proper one. It's been vaguely hinted at and sort of spoken about a bit but today we talked about what we're actually going to do. The idea is to change some things about how we operate for a bit, take a lot of space, then in a couple of months he's having surgery and we'll use that as an opportunity for him to move back in with his parents for a month and we'll have more space, then decide from there. I feel like we're just running the last resuscitation attempts. We'll likely split up properly before next year.

It's kind of funny this talk happened today. It's his birthday. It's my dad's birthday too. I didnt get anything for either of them. Hb doesnt really do presents and I didnt talk to my dad for a decade after he disowned me so I never really know what to do there anyway. I'll have to drink more or disassociate harder if I'm going to send a text to my dad or come up with a present idea.

All kinds of abandonment triggers flaring today. I finished watching Beyond Evil. Weird show. But at the end I felt the same as I did at the end of My Mister (which I really loved) - something about seeing the characters go through so much shit and lose family and all sorts, but in the end they have each other in their little community, a found family, and they sit around a table having dinner and drinking and know they always have each other's backs.

It seems to be common in Korean dramas so presumably a cultural thing. I guess every culture has its food rituals. Just my family, the ones I grew up geographically closest to, are italian. And catholic. They're loud and toxic and it took me years to figure out they're where I get my eating disorder from. Part of me misses xmas dinners when my grandmother was alive because there was a food I loved that we always had. But maybe it's just because I was so young then. Maybe I just hadnt noticed all the shit yet. But those gatherings over the years just became such a toxic situation full of pressure and guilt and judgement, and in the end it's no surprise I developed every kind of eating disorder.

I miss the other side of my family too. Southern African, so another continent entirely, and more than a day's travel from where I grew up. They were loud too, but not pushy. They were just loud and you joined if you wanted. But my dad never taught me the language, and i never learned, so i could only speak to the people who spoke English unless my dad was around to translate. And of the people I was close to, only one is still alive. Other than them, the one who assaulted me as a child is still there too. It made me afraid to go back. It made me regret not seeing the others before they died.

And by the time I was old enough to start seeking out my own found family, I couldn't eat in front of anyone. Now I have issues with drinking too, the other way entirely. I'm always jealous of the scenes in these shows where everyone sits around a little table with good food and good drinks and good company. That's what life should be. We should all have that.

It hits particularly hard during this pandemic. Good company around a shitty little table is the one thing we can't have. It's why I felt so intensely about going to my friends' wedding weekend - they didnt make a big deal of it, it was just some nice people in a little location with nice food and nice drinks. Of course, I didnt join very well with the latter two. But being able to just be around people feels like such a rare thing.

Hb wants to close himself off entirely. I want to be around people I love. I'm someone who needs a lot of space but I'm still finding all of this so difficult. I dont know if I need more company than I realised or it's just the situation highlighting things. But I've felt so so isolated and I keep thinking about how a pandemic has one particular way in which it's worse than any other kind of catastrophe, and that's that we can't be together. Of course other situations will be worse in other ways, I dont mean to say this is overall worse. But in war or natural disaster etc you can come together and support each other. But a pandemic does more damage the more we do that, so we can't.

I don't know. I want some company. I wish I was stupid rich so I could buy a little community and put all my friends in it. Have a communal area where people just chill and do nothing together, or have those dinners and drinks around a little table. I wish it wasnt just me in my room being left alone again.

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

[vinniespeaks]

no one has ever taught me the dos and don’ts of socializing. when someone asks me “how are you?” i generally respond with how i honestly feel and it takes a bit to realize that they weren’t expecting such a negative and/or long answer. i dont know how to start a conversation. i sit there in my phone while kids around me are able to talk and goof around, and i just dont know when i can jump in. i thought i was good at reading tone but im not. if im recieving praise or being scolded i dont know how to act. when my mom used to ask “what are you doing?” in that scolding tone i would literally tell her what i’m doing. when people are joking or being sarcastic i have to ask if they’re being serious or not and then they yell at me for not seeing how obvious of a joke or sarcastic statement it was. i thought i was empathetic but im not, either. when i hear on the news that someone died in a car accident or a famous couple divorced i just. shrug at it. and i dont know if thats just from being used to tragedies like that or just actually being low empathy.

i used to be a really sociable kid too. i would insert myself in other’s conversations, talk about myself, and i didnt know what personal space was. my mom has told me stories of being at wedding receptions and finding me at a random family that they’ve never met’s table, talking with them. as i grew older i withdrew a lot more knowing that im different from the other kids, and i was often left out of groups or told im annoying.

i preferred to do all my activities by myself, and would straight up ask my teacher if it was possible for me to do a group project by myself. sometimes they’d give in, other times not. i would often not even take that much part in the group project because i couldnt do it the way i planned to. group projects were bearable with kids i was well acquainted with, though i still preferred being alone.

i never really had a best friend either. for the first few years of elementary i was just getting to know everyone, and attached to 2 of these other girls, but i had always wanted to be friends with the boys. soon i just drifted away from everyone, because i knew they all thought i was weird. then in the last two years of middle school i had a somewhat of a solid friend group. we talked frequently at school, picked each other for projects, etc,. yet we had little to nothing in common. i really enjoyed fantasy world or action/adventure books like harry potter and percy jackson, and i loved video games and space. sometimes in group projects one of them wouldnt pick me but someone else, and suddenly i was lost. i didnt know who else to go with. so then i was stuck with some other kid who definitely didnt want to be with me either.

it shouldve been clear to my mom that something was either wrong with me or wrong with my school, because i remember the countless times i cried in her arms begging her to take me out of the school and put me in a public school, where maybe, just maybe, i could meet someone who’s just like me, who has similar interests as me, who was always seen as an outcast like me, who i could see as a best friend.

im told i should be lucky that i got a private education. that i should be grateful my family sent me there instead of public. but everyday i really regret it, and i wish my mom listened to me when i did.

public school isnt any better, but my private school was outrageously homophobic, ableist, any bigotry in the book. my teacher asked me once what i did after school each dat. i told her that after school i liked to take a break, because school is really tiring for me. she said i should do my work as soon as i get home.

no one thought that my immense piles of late work was maybe a sign of neurodivergency. i was yelled at for it, made to feel embarrassed, because i was “lazy” and i didnt care for my teachers, and stuff like that. i was withdrawn of the joys my other classmates could enjoy while i was crumbling under piles of worksheets. i had to stay in from lunch and gym time everyday in eighth grade because of my work. when everyone else who had their work done could be out of uniform, i was still in uniform, and i wasnt allowed to be out until i had all my work done. it was like wearing a badge of guilt. that i was telling everyone i was lazy, or stupid, or messy, and it was embarrassing.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[hypmicscenarios]

Rainy Days w/ Jyuto

a/n: its raining and youre just waiting for your boyfriend to come home,using they/them pronouns again, very fluffy, 2K words

12:00 pm.

You looked at your phone,checking your notifications, then setting it back down. Ugh, you could hear the rain outside your window. Even worse, you could feel how cold it was. It made you want to do absolutely nothing. You pulled the blanket over your head and groaned into the pillow. Why wasnt Jyuto here? No. You knew why. It was because he was at work and took up the morning shift. Of course, there was less room for complaint. He would be home in the evening, but what were you supposed to do with yourself. You missed him.

Still staying underneath the warm cocoon of the blanket, you peeked your hand out, patting down for your phone, taking a couple times before you felt it, pulling it in. You opened it up to your home screen, smiling at the selfie you took of the two of you on your date. Jyuto had a soft smile on his face, you an even bigger one, complemented with a peace sign. God. You loved him so much.

Sighing happily, you remember him waking you up for a bit in the morning. You had scolded him on that. Even if you were in the deepest of slumbers and looked as comfortable as a kitten, you always wanted to kiss him goodbye, tell him to be safe at work, and that you loved him. Especially with his line of work, you had to say it at least once everyday.

Suddenly, your phone vibrated and you looked at a message from “Jyuto <3”

Jyuto: Honey, I know the rain makes you lazy but dont forget to eat lunch. I made a bento for you before I left. It should be in the fridge, I love you.

You read and bit your lips, almost tearing, than planted your face in the pillow as you silently screamed. How did you get such a good man?? You wondered that still to this day, you always would. Jyuto always reminded you why though. Your love for this man would never cease and you hoped his love for you wouldnt either.

y/n: thank you so much babe!!! I love you, what would I do without you?? :,)

Jyuto: I dont know but I would hate to imagine a life without you by my side

y/n:  I wouldn't be able to live. Do you get off at 5 pm?

Jyuto: I do. As soon as I do I’ll make my way back. Since its raining, the usual?

y/n: !!!! take out and movie and cuddles on the couch?

Jyuto: of course my love. Im off break, now go eat.

y/n: I will! Good luck stay safe!

Well. That was enough to kick you into gear. You scrambled out of the covers and got up, going to wash your face, brush your teeth, checking your social media, replying to anyone you didn’t to the night before. Your mind moved towards the bento, wondering what foods he put in there, probably your favorites. He always did. Jyuto remembered every little single detail about you. You wouldn’t fault him for forgetting some things because even your memory was horrible and fuzzy at times. With  Jyuto, however, that never seemed to be the case.

Once you were all good to go, you changed into warmer clothes….aka some grey sweats and one of Jyuto’s black sweatshirts that was way too big on you, but it made it all the more comfier. Plus, it smelled like him. When you opened the fridge, your guess was correct as you took out the bento, placing it on the kitchen island, then thinking.

“Hot chocolate!”, you finally said, looking into one of the cabinets, pulling out a packet. You grabbed a mug, then the milk from the refrigerator.

As you prepared the hot chocolate, you were on your phone, scrolling through your different social media again. When it was all done, the hot chocolate looked steamy and delicious, adding whip cream on the top, then setting it down near your food.

Jyuto’s food was always the best. He could definitely cook better than you, but he taught you things and you two switched with making dinner. It was now 1 pm. 4 more hours! You could get through this, 4 hours could go by in no time.

That countdown went down to 3 as you got caught up in watching videos as you ate.

Most of the bento was soon gone, filling you up. The hot chocolate adding onto that.

After you finished, you put your stuff away, yawning and stretching. You….definitely felt like you could nap. Rainy weather just did that to you. Also, the fact that work was crazy yesterday, so you were still a bit exhausted. You made your way to the couch, turning the tv on, mainly going to use it as background noise, so you let it stay on some daytime reality show.

You sat on the couch, grabbing the dark blue, velvet plush blanket, wrapping it snug around your body as you curled up on the couch, eyes looking at the tv, watching whatever was on.

The show was a bit interesting but before you knew it, your eyes became heavy, like a brick was weighing down on them, 

and then you fell back asleep.

“Y/n, im home” Jyuto called out, taking his shoes off, loosening his tie, and immediately spotting you asleep on the couch. A soft smile came on his face as he set the bag of takeout on the living room table, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek,”Im home y/n,”he said in a quieter and much softer voice. He ended up sitting criss-crossed, his cheek on his arms as he gazed at you lovingly, watching you sleep, the slow rise and fall of your chest, your slightly parted mouth, every little thing, he loved, absolutely adored.

He did nothing, but you must have sensed his presence because you started to stir, your eyes shakey before your lids opened, eyes focusing in on the man in front of you.

“Well, hello there sleepyhead,”he said.

A sleepy smile came on your face,”welcome home Jyuto,”you said. Jyuto smiled, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead,”im home.” Your arms wrapped around his neck as you turned on your back, looking up at him,”I missed you.” Jyuto raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on his face,”how much?” Your hand went to the back of his neck, pulling him down and connecting your lips together.

You were still a bit tired, but you kissed him with passion, molding your lips together, slow and sweet, one hand slowly going on his chest. When you pulled away, Jyuto placed another last peck on your lips,”well, im yours for the rest of the day. Let me go change and we can resume our usual rainy day activities.” You nodded, smiling to yourself, happy that he came back, then looking at the bag on the table.

It was chinese takeout….your stomach grumbled. You sat up, surprised when you heard Jyuto’s voice. He changes quick. But he looks soft and comfortable. A white sweater, black sweats.

“I went with white today because a little someone sneaked into my closet.”he said, walking over with a smile. You blinked innocently,”maybe that little someone just missed you alot.” You knew he didn’t mind. Hell, if it was hotter, no pants would even be on you right now, just your bottom and one of his tops.

Jyuto sat down on the couch, grabbing your wrist, pulling you closer and closer till his hands landed on your waist and pulled you into his lap. You were a bit embarrassed but you spoke, placing your hands on his shoulders,”w-what is it…”,you asked. He didn’t respond just yet.

Instead, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tight,”nothing, just need my daily dosage of y/n.” You smiled, hugging his neck and lightly petting his hair,”what a coincidence, I haven't had my daily dose of Jyuto either.

The two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes. A comfortable silence. Until he pulled away, looking at you, placing his hand on your cheek,”I love you.” You moved in closer, your hands on both of his cheeks, placing a soft kiss to his forehead, then down to his eyes, the tip of his nose, then kissing his lips with a smile,”I love you too.”

The two of you managed to choose a romantic comedy, eating for the first thirty minutes, your bodies close. You had moved from the couch to your own bedroom, since cuddling would be far more easier to do. As you ate your last piece of food and put it off to the side on your night stand, you commented on the movie,”so he’s traveling around the world to find his first love and all he has is a name,face, and the one conversation they had together” Okay, it was unrealistic, but you were a fucking sap. You thought it was cute.

Jyuto smiled and spoke,”if it were you I’d travel across the world” You were touched but you tried to deflect,”you dont have to for me.” Jyuto placed his food to the side, then moving, pushing your back down into the pillow. He was now hovering above, a gentle smile on his face as his hand came up to touch your face,”Ive told you plenty of times y/n, although it may not have been love when we first met, I was captivated by you. When I meet people I usually never hope to see them again but one conversation and I hoped that I could see your beautiful face again. I had a rough day that day at work, but your smile cured everything. You’re my angel.”

Oh no. He was….being soft again. Well, you asked for it. And, maybe, some part of you said that because this was exactly what you wanted, despite the rapid beating of your heart, thumping out of your chest. You looked past his glasses, into his eyes. “Well….I hoped to see you again too. Im only an angel for you. I’ll be your guardian angel then,”you said.

He chuckled,hand grabbing your wrist, pulling your arm towards him, holding your hand and placing a soft kiss on it as he looked at you, then spoke,”lucky me then. I have you all to myself.” Your face grew even hotter at such a simple action but you spoke,”you always have Jyuto.”

Honestly? How could Jyuto resist not kissing you after an adorable look like that. He leaned in, pressing your lips together again, a gentle and soft hand still on your cheek. You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Soft kisses were nice, but you desired more. Jyuto picked up on it and deepened the kiss, moving more roughly against your mouth, you couldn’t help but moan really.

The two of you kept at this makeout of yours for a couple more minutes till he pulled away. Well, it was needed, you were both out of breath. You laughed as you looked at him,”you okay there, officer?” Jyuto smiled, moving a hand to put his glasses back up to his nose,”if Im with you im more than okay.”

Smooth.

“I love you, Jyuto,”you said, moving your hand to his cheek. He smiled, leaning down again and pressing a soft kiss against your lips, pulling away and saying,”I love you too, Y/n.”

He kissed the top of your head, looking at you. There was something about the look in his eyes, a glint, it shined bright, just for you. It made you feel special each time he looked at you like that.

You loved it.

He moved away, pulling you into his chest. Jyuto was just about done with his food anyway. He just felt like cuddling you. Of course, you wanted the same thing as well, adjusting yourself, moving a bit closer, then laying your head on his chest, looking back at the television. The two of you stayed like that, finishing the movie, turning the lights off, and heading to bed.

Of course, you appreciated his warmth and gentle embrace. Because of this, you were able to fall asleep quicker, mumbling a “goodnight” and “love you” before the two of you drifted off to sleep, snug and warm.