#due to the self-regulating nature

[cazshmere]

Destiny Matrix: The Energy You Must Embody for Genuine Happiness

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

The center number in the Destiny Matrix chart represents our core energy—the Major Arcana card that has the most profound influence on your life. This number reflects the key lessons and dominant themes we must embrace to feel aligned with your destiny. It acts as our guiding force, shaping our experiences and guiding us toward fulfillment and balance

link to calculate your chart : click here

1 – The Magician 🪄

Key Themes: Manifestation, creativity, willpower

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Start a vision board to focus on your goals.

Practice daily affirmations to boost self-belief.

Learn a new skill or hobby to channel creativity.

Set small, actionable goals and track progress.

Use mindfulness to align actions with intentions.

2 – The High Priestess 🧚‍♀️

Key Themes: Intuition, inner wisdom, mystery

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Meditate daily to develop inner awareness.

Keep a dream journal to reflect on subconscious messages.

Trust your gut feelings, especially in decision-making.

Reduce distractions and spend time in quiet reflection.

Engage in mystical practices (tarot, astrology) to deepen insight.

3 – The Empress 👸🏽

Key Themes: Nurturing, creativity, abundance

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Create a peaceful, beautiful space at home.

Spend time in nature to feel grounded.

Cook or garden to nurture creativity and growth.

Support loved ones emotionally and offer care.

Indulge in self-care rituals to cultivate self-love.

4 – The Emperor 🤴🏽

Key Themes: Authority, structure, stability

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Set a clear routine or daily structure.

Take on leadership roles, even in small situations.

Establish long-term goals for your personal and professional life.

Lead with confidence but remain fair and balanced.

Be disciplined in areas like finances or personal development.

5 – The Hierophant 🪽

Key Themes: Tradition, spiritual guidance, teaching

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Explore cultural or spiritual traditions and integrate them into your life.

Mentor others and share knowledge where you're experienced.

Reflect on core values and how they guide your decisions.

Study spiritual texts or philosophies to deepen understanding.

Join a spiritual or community group to foster connection.

6 – The Lovers 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻

Key Themes: Connection, choice, harmony

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Strengthen communication in your relationships.

Make decisions that reflect your values and desires.

Foster deeper emotional and spiritual connections with loved ones.

Practice compromise and understanding in conflicts.

Focus on self-love as the foundation for harmonious relationships.

7 – The Chariot 🚀

Key Themes: Determination, control, success

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Set clear goals and take steady steps to achieve them.

Stay focused on your objectives despite distractions.

Practice emotional self-regulation in stressful situations.

Celebrate victories, no matter how small.

Take charge of your life path with confidence and direction.

8 – Strength 💪🏽

Key Themes: Inner strength, compassion, patience

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Practice self-compassion and be gentle with yourself in difficult times.

Engage in physical or emotional activities that build resilience, like exercise or meditation.

Offer kindness and understanding to others, even when it's challenging.

Be patient with long-term goals or emotional healing.

Cultivate a quiet inner strength by facing fears calmly.

9 - The Hermit 🐚

Key Themes: Solitude, inner reflection, wisdom

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Take time away from social media and external influences to reflect.

Spend time alone in nature or a quiet space to recharge.

Journal regularly to explore your inner world.

Read books or engage in study to deepen self-awareness.

Offer wisdom to others from a place of experience.

10 – The Wheel of Fortune 🍀

Key Themes: Change, destiny, cycles

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Be flexible and open to unexpected changes in life.

Reflect on the cycles of your past to understand patterns.

Trust in the flow of life, knowing that ups and downs are part of growth.

Release the need for control and go with the flow.

Embrace new opportunities, even if they come unexpectedly.

11 – Justice ⚖️

Key Themes: Fairness, truth, balance

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Be mindful of making fair and just decisions.

Take responsibility for your actions and decisions.

Seek balance in all areas of life—work, relationships, health.

Practice fairness in your interactions with others.

Be truthful with yourself and others in difficult situations.

12 – The Hanged Man 🙃

Key Themes: Surrender, new perspective, patience

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Let go of control and allow things to unfold in their own time.

Reflect on challenging situations from a new perspective.

Embrace stillness and patience during times of uncertainty.

Be open to changing your approach if things aren't working.

Trust that waiting or setbacks often lead to growth.

13 – Death 🦋

Key Themes: Transformation, endings, renewal

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Let go of old habits, relationships, or situations that no longer serve you.

View endings as opportunities for new beginnings.

Embrace change and transformation, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Focus on personal growth during times of transition.

Practice gratitude for past experiences, even as you move forward.

14 – Temperance 🕊️

Key Themes: Balance, harmony, moderation

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Practice moderation in areas of excess, such as work or indulgence.

Focus on finding balance between different areas of your life.

Meditate or engage in mindfulness practices to foster inner harmony.

Be patient with yourself and others, especially during conflicts.

Seek holistic well-being by integrating mind, body, and spirit.

15 – The Devil 👺

Key Themes: Desire, limitation, mastery

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Acknowledge your desires and examine whether they serve your higher self.

Confront limiting beliefs or unhealthy habits that hold you back.

Practice discipline in areas where you feel tempted or out of control.

Seek balance between enjoying life’s pleasures and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Embrace your shadow side without judgment, using it for personal growth.

16 – The Tower 🗼⚡️

Key Themes: Sudden change, upheaval, revelation

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Accept that sudden changes may be necessary for personal growth.

Let go of outdated beliefs or structures that no longer serve you.

Use challenging situations as opportunities for deep transformation.

Rebuild stronger foundations after a period of upheaval.

Trust that chaos often clears the way for new opportunities.

17 – The Star ⭐️

Key Themes: Hope, inspiration, healing

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Focus on healing emotional wounds and nurturing your inner light.

Cultivate hope and positivity in difficult times.

Align with your higher purpose and trust the universe’s guidance.

Inspire others by staying true to your authentic self.

Practice self-care and healing routines that nourish your body and soul.

18 – The Moon 🌙

Key Themes: Intuition, illusion, subconscious

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Explore your subconscious through dreams, journaling, or meditation.

Be mindful of illusions or false perceptions in your life.

Trust your intuition, especially when clarity is lacking.

Embrace uncertainty and mystery without fear.

Seek emotional clarity through inner reflection.

19 – The Sun ☀️

Key Themes: Joy, vitality, positivity

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Celebrate your successes and share your joy with others.

Embrace childlike wonder and enthusiasm in your daily life.

Focus on positive thinking, even in difficult times.

Connect with nature or physical activities to boost your vitality.

Shine your light on others, offering support and positivity.

20 – Judgement 📜

Key Themes: Rebirth, accountability, higher calling

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Reflect on your past actions and learn from them.

Take responsibility for your choices and their consequences.

Seek out your higher calling and align your life with it.

Focus on personal and spiritual rebirth through self-awareness.

Make amends or seek closure where necessary to move forward.

21 – The World 🌍

Key Themes: Completion, wholeness, fulfilment

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Celebrate the completion of major life milestones.

Recognize your personal growth and sense of wholeness.

Integrate lessons from all areas of life into your being.

Embrace your interconnectedness with the world around you.

Seek new opportunities for growth and expansion, even after reaching your goals.

22 – The Fool 🤪

Key Themes: New beginnings, trust, adventure

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Take risks and embrace new opportunities with optimism.

Trust the universe to guide you, even when the path is unclear.

Live in the present moment and enjoy life’s adventures.

Be open to unexpected experiences and possibilities.

Follow your instincts, even if it means stepping into the unknown.

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[sempersirens]

yes, chef | part four

one | two | three

masterlist

this is their song sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do) summary: eight years have passed since you walked out of joel miller's kitchen, now you have your own restaurant in new york city. you're a household name, respected within your own right - but some ghosts are harder to shake than others. pairing: no-outbreak!au, chef!joel x f!reader content/warnings (spoilers): no outbreak, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, mention of food, pure angst, arguing, swearing, unspecified age gap, cheating if you squint, joel is a prick who can't regulate his emotions, character death.

Fuckin' useless.

You plan on fuckin' your way to the top there too?

You're useless.

Dawn hadn't quite broken yet.

The rattle of the subway shook you loose from the claws of that familiar memory; the one you had to fight during any moment of stillness.

Ladies swallowed by wool scarves and labourers with chins tucked into the necks of their coats littered the seats of the carriage.

You'd hoped the years would ease the drowning; that distance and time would singe away the nerve endings that pricked up at any hint of a Texan accent.

No such luck. The best you could do was filter out any articles including the words chef and Joel Miller on your social media and news apps.

Your apartment was a cosy one-bed in Williamsburg. Most nights you woke reaching for a phantom warmth that your fingers could never find; nails clawing at your fitted sheet in frustration when all you could grasp was cotton. You were grateful for the omnipresent city traffic that lulled you back to sleep.

The first year was the hardest.

He had become a ghost story, haunting you in each sip of coffee or raised voice in the street. You hated yourself for craving his temper; you would've killed to feel the heat pricking at your skin as he barked orders at you.

You missed the games you had played to stay his little secret. Swallowing his poison, letting it decay your self-worth, just so you could be his.

But it was never enough. You were never enough.

"This is an M-line service. The next station is Broadway-Lafayette."

Rising from your seat, you gently shook your head from side to side.

Enough, you thought, inhaling slowly as the doors parted.

Enough.

Only January in New York could rouse gratitude for the stuffy microclimate of the subway. You'd never get used to that first gust of winter air; the one that reddens the tips of your ears before you even have the chance to acclimatise to street level.

It was different here.

Temperature aside, your days were no longer spent walking on a raised edge, willing yourself to remain balanced. For too long, you'd laid blankets over thorn bushes and convinced yourself it was a good enough place to rest your head.

There was pressure; no kitchen worth its Himalayan salt could function without it. But at every blind corner hands were reaching out to steady you, and you them.

It was nice. You were happy - or content, at the very least.

And even if you weren't happy, you only ever had enough hours in the day to clamour your way through service. You hadn't dealt in anything as trivial as love - if you could even call it that - since you'd turned your back on Texas.

It was a short walk from the subway to the restaurant. The streets were mostly empty this early but rushing had become second nature since moving to the city.

A food critic from the New York Times was due to be dining sometime this week, but last night an "unofficial source" you'd fooled around with in college had texted you a heads-up to be on top form this afternoon.

You'd heeded the warning with a smirk; you were always on top form.

Morning beat on with the usual trepidation of pre-service; menus drafted and re-drafted until you were satisfied; table settings scrutinised under three different levels of lighting; reservations checked, then double-checked, for any notable guests. There was nothing left to perfect by the time you opened your doors for lunch.

Your kitchen was a sanctuary of praise and encouragement; only the best went out to the pass, but you did so without raising your voice at even the most tedious mistakes.

"Sauce has congealed, chef. You need to start again, please." You smiled tightly at your sous-chef who repeated your request with a nod.

Allergy notices and orders merged with the sizzling of fish on the griddle pan in a swift symphony. You bit back a smile at the chaos, content with submerging yourself in the music of the kitchen for the rest of your days.

"Chef, one of the guests would like to speak with you." Tom, your newest front-of-house hire, called from the pass.

"Me? Now?" You replied dumbfounded.

"Yeah, he's just had the prosciutto and spinach scallops. Kind of old, Southern, I think."

A familiar feeling pooled in your gut.

"Thanks, Tom. I'll go see what he wants." Untying your apron, you took a deep breath in.

All eyes were fixed on you. Sabrina, your sous-chef, took your apron from your damp palms and rested a hand between your shoulder blades. Sweat beaded at the base of your neck.

"Give him hell. Who even reads the New York Times, anyway?"

A few low hoots echoed around the kitchen as you pushed your shoulders back and made your way toward the dining room.

Your facade melted as soon as you saw him. It infuriated you that he hadn't changed a bit. Only, grey framed his face more prominently now.

Everything else was perfectly the same.

"Joel." You breathed, hovering over the empty chair opposite him.

His face relaxed - not quite into a smile, it was something you'd never been able to put your finger on.

That's what infuriated you about him the most, you thought, you could never quite get him underneath your thumb. He would never give you the privilege.

"New menu each day, huh? Sounds like something I'd do."

"Is that it?" You choked, fighting to keep your voice low and expression neutral. It was so easy for him to get a rise out of you, he didn't even need to try.

"You think I'd come all this way t'just tell you that?"

Before a retort could form around your tongue, you noticed the band on his left ring finger.

You could've been sick there and then.

His gaze met yours, realisation setting into the creases in his forehead.

"I have a kitchen to run. Congratulations, Joel." You managed to murmur before tripping into the still kitchen, hot tears burning in the corner of your eyes.

"So?" Sabrina pressed, evidently expecting what should've been a run-in with the critic.

"Wasn't him." Was the only explanation you could muster.

You excused yourself, leaving the slow mechanics of service to resume in your absence. Clutching your stomach, you pushed your way out into the bite of the afternoon chill.

Had he come all this way to flash that thing in your face? To show you how much better his life had turned out in your absence? Even after all these years, was he still punishing you for daring to love him?

You laughed aloud at nothing, breath forming in puffs of condensation before your face. Of course you'd loved him; you still did.

Eight years of keeping yourself busy enough to forget the smell of his chest, the pressure of his lips against your temple in the middle of the night.

You had searched for the giddy intoxication of his presence in everything you did; working yourself to the bone in some sick, futile desire to replicate the knots in your stomach only he could tie.

All the while he'd moved on and settled down with someone he didn't have to hide.

You were useless, after all.

For the remainder of the day, you'd done your best to subside the embarrassment burning through your bloodstream.

The New York Times critic had arrived shortly after you'd attempted some form of composure; Sabrina had stalled her by talking about the weather while you perfected your illusion of a sane, tempered woman in the reflection of a saucepan.

Compared to your encounter with Joel, the magazine meeting was a breeze. Joel Miller may have crushed your self-worth, but over your dead body would you let him ruin this too.

Once all surfaces were wiped down and stoves cooled off for the night, you finally pulled on your coat and made for the exit. It took a few polite declines to join the others at a bar nearby to celebrate surviving the review, but you finally managed to wriggle out of the social obligation.

You saw the staff off, encouraging them to have a drink for you, before finally locking up.

"S'dangerous walking home alone this time of night." You froze, your back to him still.

Using all willpower, you kept your movements steady and unfazed as you twisted the key in the lock.

Fuck, you silently cursed yourself. Don't cry. Don't give him the satisfaction.

"I'm not walking. I get the subway."

Joel leaned against the low wall opposite the restaurant, his hands idly resting in the pockets of his thick corduroy jacket.

"Your wife not wondering where you've gotten to?" You'd spoken before you could stop yourself.

He cleared his throat, breaking his gaze on you.

"She's back in Austin. M'here on business, she, uh - she couldn't travel with the little one."

"Jesus." You laughed in despair. There was nothing left inside of you now. All those nights spent trying to remember the feel of his chest beneath your head, he had been making a real life for himself.

"What do you want, Joel? You getting a kick out of seeing me like this?" There was no holding back the tears that flowed freely down your cheeks. He looked like he was debating moving closer to you, brows knitted together, shaking his head softly.

"Hey," he whispered lowly. "Don't waste any tears on me, baby."

You scoffed, crossing your arms across your chest and tipping your chin toward the night sky. Joel pushed himself from the wall, closing the distance between you both.

"I loved you."

"I was never good enough for you, sweetheart." Joel smiled sadly, his hand finding a stray piece of hair to tuck behind your ear.

A sob escaped your body as you let yourself lean into his touch.

"I thought the world of you."

"You had a much bigger world to find. Look at you."

"I wanted to find it with you. Why wasn't I enough?" You hated the words tainting the cold air around you. You'd never been the type to beg a man to love you, but eight years of repressed emotion and unanswered questions had finally broken free from your bones.

"You got it all wrong, baby. I'm an old man. You deserved more than to be reduced to some housewife. Could've never had the career you do now with me holding you back."

"Don't pretend you did this for me, Joel."

Suddenly, your heart broke for the woman he had left back in Austin. His wife, the mother of his child. Is that all he saw in her?

"There was a time that I thought you were wonderful. I would hang off your every word, seek your approval in everything I fucking did. And it broke me. The day you told me I was useless - I hear it in the back of my mind every fucking day."

He was shaking his head, muttering it ain't like that softly under his breath.

"Then you come all the way to New York, to my restaurant in the middle of service, acting like you're the reason I am where I am now?"

"I was in town, thought it was the right thing to do. I wanted to see you. I-"

"It's always what you want, Joel. The doting wife. The accolade. You're pathetic. I hope your wife comes to her senses and leaves you, and for the sake of your kid, I pray they grow up to be nothing like you."

Weeks passed in flashes of numbness since Joel's fleeting visit.

For the first time in years, you slept soundly through the night. When the other chefs invited you for drinks, you accepted.

Soon, you laughed and drank too much wine without the aftermath of soaking your pillow in tears.

In moments of stillness, your voice was the only one you could hear, and it was kind. You treated yourself as you treated those around you, taking the time to care for yourself again.

The New York Times published their article on the first week of February. You arrived at the kitchen just as dawn peaked over the skyline, only to be greeted by the entirety of the kitchen staff.

That morning, expensive French champagne flowed freely and the article, written by Helen Anderson, was framed and hung above the door to the kitchen. The headline read:

A New Precedent Is Set In Greenwich Village.

The day fluttered by in flurries of pride, each other ringing through the kitchen with a joyful urgency. Phones buzzed frantically from pockets, messages of congratulations you would pick up after service.

At around 12pm, the UPS delivery man arrived at the back of the kitchen, holding out a tablet for a signature for a bouquet of flowers resting against the doorway.

"Chef of the hour, these are for you!" Sabrina skipped through the kitchen, blue hydrangeas and gypsophila outstretched toward you.

You cradled the bouquet before setting them down in your cupboard of an office. A small, cream card poked out of the side of the arrangement. Messy handwriting scrawled across both inner sides of the folded card.

Sweetheart,

I'm sorry I never found the words to tell you how I feel. I'm a miserable old man who's smoked too many cigarettes and never known a good thing in front of me.

You never needed me, but I needed you. I'll never forget the first time you walked into my kitchen. I'm a coward, and I should've told you I loved you all those years ago.

I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. I know I'm in no position to ask any favours, but please don't make the mistakes I did. Hell, you're too intelligent to live as foolishly as I did, anyway.

Hope you don't mind, Helen is a friend of mine. Told me a couple of days ago how your place is the best she's eaten in New York since Bourdain. Wanted to make sure these arrived on time; God knows I never could've.

Yours,

Joel

You wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand, desperately rummaging around in your pocket for your phone.

Amidst the excitement of the morning, you had entirely neglected the copious buzzing of messages and alerts. Unlocking your phone, your eyes glazed over the most recent notification on your home screen:

Time Magazine Michelin chef, Joel Miller, dies at Austin home aged 57.

[niceandaccurategoodomensanalysis]

I was not able to find the source for this pic! If you know about it, please let me know in the comments or via direct! Thank you!

Religious trauma in Good Omens: Aziraphale's case

We talk about religious trauma and the state of constant psychological abuse and manipulation experienced by those who suffer it, using Aziraphale as an example.

DISCLAIMER

This post is about painful experiences and the different ways you can react to them. This may affect you in particular and be difficult or stressful to deal with.

Here I intend to speak to you about the trauma of Aziraphale. I use the singular not because it is a single event, but because it is a very specific type of trauma to which ours has been subjected continuously since the beginning of time: religious trauma.

WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA

Religious trauma is a complex type of trauma that usually has its greatest impact during the period of development: a person grows up in a social context that is regulated according to the dictates of any sect, which greatly influences the way they approach reality and, above all, themselves.

Often, this trauma begins to affect the existence of the victim even before they begin to speak and thus have the capacity to articulate the memories associated with it. It is not necessarily this trauma that is marked by significant events: very often it is its impact on everyday life that literally conditions the people who experience it, placing them on a well-trodden path of conventions and moral imperatives from which they must not deviate.

We are all (obviously, given the fandom) familiar with the concept of original sin. When a person is brought up with the view that we are all born sinners because we have literally inherited that sin and must spend our lives making amends for what is in our nature, several things happen:

_we live with a constant sense of shame and fear of not making it, of not being enough; _we blindly trust those who raise us and show us the way, and we may not want to see the inherent hypocrisies and contradictions because that would bring us into conflict with reality; _as a result, we have an incredible fear of authority and will tend to respect hierarchies even when they do not make much sense to us, and also try not to question what we are told; _we want at all costs to be 'part of the herd' and conform to the group, so we will suppress anything that we feel is different and might cause us trouble.

Now let's consider that, growing up in such a context, we become aware that something is not quite right for us. It could be anything from realising that we have sexual urges, to being attracted to someone of the same sex, to feeling uncomfortable in our own bodies, and so on.

In response to all of this, we experience feelings of shame, self-loathing and a desire to repress that which takes us away from what is the right way to be.

All these things are cruelly represented in our beloved angel Aziraphale.

AZIRAPHALE'S TRAUMA

It is really difficult to talk about Aziraphale's pain, although it is probably the most obvious and easiest to explain in the series. Because it is tangible, it is realistic, many of us experience it all the time and can relate to it.

Aziraphale has won us over with his almost childlike tenderness and joy, with his tenderness for the little things, with his tendency to take to heart the well-being and happiness of every human being in front of him. He is pure, genuine, sensitive and always on the side of good. But behind his façade of a happy and enthusiastic little creature, there is a frightened, abused, insecure child full of shame and self-reproach. This will always condition his actions and will lead him to the painful and, as we shall see, inevitable epilogue in which he rejects Crowley's love to follow Metatron to Paradise.

TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT OR TO DO WHAT I MUST?

We immediately see how Aziraphale lives in a state of perpetual contradiction due to his strong sense of morality: in the series, the first thing we see of him is the moment when he gives Adam and Eve the flaming sword he received as guardian of the Eastern Gate, so that they would not be completely helpless in their escape from the Garden of Eden.

As well as entertaining Crowley (and winning his immediate admiration), the episode shows us from the outset that Aziraphale has a moral compass that always points in a very precise direction: the good of others. This will often lead him in the series to act on impulse, only to have to face the consequences of constituted authority, and create in him an everlasting sense of remorse: almost immediately he is asked by God himself to account for the sword, the very sword that was in danger of becoming an instrument of destruction in the hands of one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - except that it was then the key to preventing it.

Unable to fight his nature, Aziraphale finds himself repeating the same actions over and over again: in the miniseries about the life of Job, his tenacity to save innocent creatures at all costs leads him to confront Crowley head-on, discovering his plan to circumvent the orders he was given and not kill anyone. But the web of lies he and the demon have woven tightens around him as Gabriel, Michael and the other angels descend to give Job the good news that he will be able to have more children in exchange for those who have been killed.

Aziraphale is thus forced to make a choice: tell the truth, exposing Crowley's deception and leading to the presumed murder of Job's children, or lie, saving everyone but tarnishing himself with what he sees as an unforgivable guilt. Our angel, as we know, chooses to lie. This causes him tremendous pain and leads him to believe that his fate is sealed and that he must fall. Despite having made the right choice.

Fortunately, as we know, none of this happens. But the fear of doing the wrong thing is always with him.

NATURAL ENEMIES

Aziraphale never makes it a secret that he despises Crowley's demonic nature. Never.

It is painful to compare the admiring look he gives him in S2E1 when he meets him in his angelic version, intent on starting the nebula he has been working on since the beginning of time, with the veiled look of shock (not to say a little disgust) he gives him in S1E1 when they meet again as an angel and a demon, on the walls of the Garden of Eden.

However, as soon as it starts to rain and Crowley gets close to him, Aziraphale immediately takes him under his wing. Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves no matter what. It is his peculiar and almost poisonous trait that leads him to help and to forgive even those who have wronged him.

Aziraphale believes that Crowley should be forgiven and loved, but he cannot accept that he has feelings of love for him. This leads him to reflexively despise himself for what he feels, and to push Crowley away whenever he gets too close: think of the argument under the gazebo, or when, confronted with Crowley's suggestion that he take him for a ride after giving him the thermos of holy water, he tells him that he "runs too fast".

It is already obvious to us viewers, and to Aziraphale himself, that he has feelings for Crowley that go far beyond camaraderie, but he cannot let go of them: the fear of retribution and the contempt he feels for anything that is not angelic leads him once again to flounder in contradictions and adopt that yo-yo attitude that characterises all his interactions with Crowley.

THE FINAL TEMPTATION

Crowley is a demon sui generis: he is not really evil and does not mind harming others. In fact, if he can, he actively avoids doing so. However, he does enjoy temptation, and one of his favourite targets is our beloved angel. Still during the miniseries on the life of Job, we see Crowley's first successful temptation of Aziraphale: while the two are patiently waiting for the storm to pass in the cellar of the mansion, Crowley offers him a drink, but Aziraphale refuses, not wanting to succumb to the intoxication of the wine.

Crowley then suggests that he try some human food. The angel is initially disgusted, but makes no objection, and is so impressed by what he tastes that he devours the entire roast beef on the table. Crowley is delighted, and this gag of temptation for an invitation to dinner is repeated throughout the series. Whether the invitation comes from him or from Crowley, each time Aziraphale eats contentedly and our demon watches him eat with satisfaction.

Crowley can therefore be said to be initiating Aziraphale into the pleasures of the flesh, which he will indulge in to the fullest. Aziraphale is a hedonist who loves refined and special things: from antique books to bespoke clothing, passing records, tea and sushi. He loves the objects he surrounds himself with and treats them with care: remember the white gloves he wears before leafing through the only existing copy of Agnes Nutter's Prophecies!

Aziraphale delights in touching his surroundings, and we have already talked about how his predominant love language is physical contact. As much as he can control himself, he touches our demon every time he gets his hands on him. He cannot help it. He desires it, and while Aziraphale has not realised this for the better part of 6,000 years on Earth, in the last century he has come to acknowledge it openly.

This leads Aziraphale to experience another contradiction: he wants to have more physical contact with Crowley, but he cannot. Crowley is a demon, he is the enemy, he is everything he abhors, but the angel he was is always there, alive, before his eyes, and it is out of love for that angel that Aziraphale accepts Metatron's proposal, faced with the prospect of being able to take Crowley back to Paradise with him. So they could be together, in the sunlight, with the approval of God and all, in an angelic way.

But Crowley unexpectedly, desperately, refuses.

Our angel feels betrayed, but has no choice but to accept Crowley's will.

Here is the irreparable, the ultimate temptation our demon could offer: a kiss, a last desperate cry for love, a plea for help, a series of meanings too great to be expressed in words. Crowley grabs Aziraphale by the lapels and for a few very long seconds their lips meet.

Aziraphale has never experienced anything like this before (probably not even Crowley) and feelings stir inside him that he has never even been able to name. Feelings that frighten him, feelings that bring back his contempt for himself and his being far from angelic nature. Aziraphale desires Crowley, discovers that he wants to be kissed by a demon (as the writers of the show themselves have revealed to us), and all of this clashes with everything he has ever been. He has just witnessed the contempt of angels and demons for the love of Beelzebub and Gabriel, he has just risked extinction for helping the fugitive Archangel, and yet Crowley tempts him with a sweet and terrible kiss.

But Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves and forgives.

So he forgives Crowley.

But Crowley, by definition, is unforgivable: disappointed and embittered by his beloved's rejection, he leaves.

Aziraphale does not really want to go to Paradise, but his desire to be part of the herd, his need to be loved and accepted by his faction, drives him to go, to do what is right, what is expected of him as an angel.

As he gets into the lift and asks Metatron what his task will be, he discovers that he will have to deal with the very thing he had already averted in the past: the Second Coming, the Last Judgement. He realises his mistake, realises that he is trapped, and once again wonders if he should do what is right or what he must do.

This time, however, it wins what he must: after one last look at Crowley, watching from afar, Aziraphale climbs into the lift with Metatron that will take him to Paradise. His trauma is so deep and ingrained that it has removed any prospect of being worthy of love except in the light of divine approval.

Although leaving everything he loves - Crowley, Earth, the Library - causes him enormous pain, Aziraphale must return to Paradise and fulfil his destiny.

More infos at Religious trauma syndrome - Wikipedia

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[multidimensionalguidance]

🌟🩺 Chiron Observations #1 🩻🌟

In our natal charts Chiron represents where we have healing powers due to deep spiritual wounds. We may over-compensate in these areas of life or unconsciously put ourselves in situations that wounds us further. We become our own wounded healer, and learn to face and overcome issues of low self-worth and feelings of inadequacy and learn to rise above these issues.

Chiron in our charts is a place of great knowledge, experience, talent, and wisdom. Even if our own experience with the issues are problematic, our experience informs us, and we can be excellent guides and counselors in these areas of life.

In aspects to angles and planets it tells us a story of how we can learn understand ourselves deeply. Strong aspects (conjunction, opposition, or square) can be felt in great amounts and in polarizing ways, but softer ones (trines or sextiles) are like natural talents or ways of being so it can easily go unnoticed.

⬆️ASC/1H ⬆️: these individuals are more prone to acquiring wounds in a physical and/or non-physical ways. Similarly to Pluto in this aspect or house, you can have scar/s around your face or head area. There is a tendency to have a wrong perception of one’s body, almost to a detrimental point which leads to experiencing low self esteem during early life. The lesson Chiron brings here is to learn how to love yourself deeply despite how painful it might be. This is not an easy journey considering how damaging our current body standards are for both men and women, although more painful for the latter. Once you see and learn to love your own beauty it will be easy for you to be a role model for others, since you will shine from the inside out. You naturally have a healers energy and others are drawn to it, specially those who need healing in a metaphysical way. It is truly beautiful to see a Chiron placement like this one grow and develop throughout time. You proudly show the scars and don’t feel afraid of others seeing it. You value your vulnerability and compassion, and so do others. You are not your wounds, but the beauty in the scars that showed you survived.

🌞 Sun 🌞 : there is a wound that comes from not identifying yourself with your core energy, what makes you shine or your talents. It could also be a father wound, meaning your relationship with him might have no been great and needs/needed lots of healing. A sort of discomfort by not feeling entirely related to how others perceive you. Our sun sign is the aspect that shows up the most and easiest to pinpoint, so individuals with Chiron in close aspect to it feel pain from not feeling associated with those aspects of themselves. Ex: A Leo sun conj Chiron might not perceive themselves as someone who gets or feels comfortable with attention at all. They might not even notice their creative side. There is a need for integration within this person. The lesson is accepting all your parts, specially the ones that people point out the most and you just reject with little hesitation. Sit down and think of when and/or who taught you to reject these aspects of yourself. Someone with this conjunction will feel somewhat inferior or very uncomfortable next to those who share their same sun sign, since they feel pain when seeing the parts they deny themselves reflected in others with more ease. Once you radically accept your sun traits, there is high possibilities of becoming an unstoppable force full of confidence. People can feel like being around you helps them heal their father wounds in a way. These natives become the pillar and holding ground to those around them. Always wanting to protect and provide as well, if possible. Remember you are not your father, but the genetically better version instead.

🌚 Moon 🌝: the hurt comes with our emotional regulation here. You are naturally more sensitive than most to your environment and when interacting with others. There is also a common theme of mother wounds, and the rocky relationship being the main cause for developing unhealthy cope mechanisms. Ones that lead you to struggling with understanding your own emotions. It might be easy for you to be very emphatic with others wounds, and people would find being under your care as very healing. These individuals become the mother archetype for others, like the one they might have needed themselves growing up but didn’t get the chance to experience. Their relationships with women or their own soft/nurturing side might trigger these wounds for them. You must realize that the world will never stop throwing triggers your way, and the only way to cope in a healthy way is by learning how to regulate yourself. Breathing techniques, mindfulness, and yoga might be very useful for you. Teach your brain that there’s no fear in triggers, and that you’re stronger than any of them. You will not turn out to be your mothers negative traits. You will not hurt those around you and dismiss their feelings. You are destined to show others how resilient one can be, how emotions are here to just exist or experienced, and not to be rationalized or internalized. The beauty in living is feeling it all.

[pierrotdoesnteat]

FIVE STAGES OF FASTING:

- the process of fasting begins about 8 hours after your last meal, and has five different stages each with different benefits. I am by no means an expert, and am using various sources to piece this together; with that being said, if I get something wrong please feel free to correct me.

STAGE ONE:

- 8-12 hours after last meal. - blood sugar/glucose levels begins to dip; you may experience hunger, fatigue, food cravings, and trouble concentrating. - at around 12 hours, blood sugar levels begin to stabilize as your body starts tapping into stored glycogen. - also around 12 hours, your body begins to enter early stages of ketosis meaning your body isn't relying on carbohydrates for fuel and instead begins to burn stored fat. - short-term fasting may also lower blood pressure and increase insulin sensitivity.

STAGE TWO:

- 12-18 hours after last meal. - by now, your body should be fully in ketosis. your liver should begin converting stored fat into ketone bodies; these provide energy to your heart, brain, and muscles. - ketones suppress your appetite; this stage of fasting decreases ghrelin, the hormone that makes you want to eat a lot of food and stabilizes insulin levels which helps to reduce cravings. - you may notice an increase in mental clarity in this stage due to a boost in brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF).

STAGE THREE:

- 24 hours after last meal. - this stage is referred to as autophagy, or "self-eating." this stage is when your body begins recycling old or damaged cells and reducing inflammation; this can provide an anti-aging effect.

STAGE FOUR:

- 36-48 hours after last meal. - 48-hour fasting can increase human growth hormone (HGH) secretion by up to 400%. HGH increases muscle mass, stimulates faster muscle repair, and can speed up the healing process for wounds and more serious injuries. - this stage is no longer considered intermittent fasting.

STAGE FIVE:

- 72+ hours after last meal. - this stage of fasting should not be taken lightly; if fasting for several days, make sure you drink plenty of water, get plenty of electrolytes such as sodium, magnesium, and potassium. - by now, you should be in a deep state of ketosis and autophagy should be in full effect. - during this stage, your liver significantly reduces the production of a hormone called IGF-1, triggering stem cell production. - a study from 2014 found that prolonged fasts between 48-120 hours activate pathways that induce stem cell production, leading to cellular toxin resistance, immune system regulation, and protection against cellular damage caused by chemotherapy.

FASTING TIPS:

- regardless of the length of fast, stay hydrated. - keep physical activity to a minimum, or only do light exercises. walking, stretching/yoga, and meditating are great options during this time. - do not break your fast with large amounts of food, or processed foods. easily digestible natural foods, like bone broth, chicken, and green vegetables are your best option. avoid things like dairy, alcohol, and foods high in lectin like baked goods for the first couple days after your fast ends. - when breaking your fast, eat slowly and hydrate before eating. the less junk food your body is used to, the easier it is. - adding probiotics into your diet can make breaking a fast easier; your body needs these either way.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for BPD symptom holders!

Quite often, systems may find they have one member who holds onto particular symptoms of the disorders which affect the whole collective. Symptom holders perform a vital role for their system and help keep everyone functioning, even if it makes their own lives as individuals difficult. This post goes out to all the headmates who hold symptoms of their system’s borderline personality disorder!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle with an intense fear of abandonment by others in their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who deal with black and white thinking, or can’t see nuance or the multifaceted nature of some people and situations!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates who are quite reliant on their favorite person or FP, whether inside or outside their collective!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are unable to maintain positive connections or relationships!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle with emotional regulation or deal with very intense emotions!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who formed specifically due to their system’s BPD, or who split as a result of the trauma that caused their system to develop BPD!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates who don’t ever feel anything, who dissociate often or usually feel dull, apathetic, empty, or listless!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are impulsive or who regularly make rash decisions!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who deal with a lot of paranoia regarding their headmates or the people in their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who struggle to understand or conceptualize their self-image and often wonder if they even exist at all!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates whose BPD informs who they are and every aspect of their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are tired of their disorder being demonized by others, or treated like they are unlovable or evil simply for having BPD!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who are learning to work with and embrace who they are as a BPD holder in their system!

Living with borderline personality disorder can be incredibly isolating, frustrating, and painful. For symptom holders who have the role of managing BPD symptoms, we want to remind you that you are loved just the way you are! You are valued, and you are worthy of kindness, happiness, and respect in your lives. We know that trying to manage BPD, sometimes on behalf of your whole system, cannot be easy. We truly hope that you will be able to find support and resources in your future to better help you cope with this condition!

If you are a BPD symptom holder reading this, please know that we care about you and are wishing the very best for you in your future. We have hope that things will get better for you someday! In the meantime, know that you are a treasured, important member of both your system and the plural community alike. We are rooting for you and your system in all that you do! Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[ctheathy]

WRITE ME REDSON X MALE READER 😭 DID I DO IT GOOD NOW!????

Red Son General Headcanons

Redson x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Author’s note: Nuh uh you did absolutely TERRIBLE😡. I should just solve the problem and ban you from my account right now. You even went against my rules dipshi- [The requester and I are friends, don't cancel me]

Possibly OOC, but I tried. I had to depend on the wikipedia for information cause I've never even watched Monkie Kid to begin with. This was really just an exception for a friend of mine.

Redson/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

!Male Reader! • Paranoia

The level of priority towards reputation are often known to depend on a rank one was born into or the image they created for themselves over the course of time, which in this case is undoubtedly high... Redson has been shown to hold a lot of family pride and takes any chance to prove his authority over his subclasses. It's safe to say the the demon bull is likely going to have some difficulty swallowing his ego to allow emotional connections to grow and much less legitimise a romantic relationship with someone from the group he has grown acquainted with.

He can also be known to be rather petty and too prideful to accept his flaws. So if happens to be something that irritates you, you're definitely going to end up having one or more squabbles with the son of the Demon Bull King. Especially when it comes to Redson having a fierce temper and such, resulting in him trying to lecture you and get a completely insignificant point across. But I also believe you'd be more capable of keeping him in line instead of if you were to just go along with his behaviour. But it can also cause in a feast of awkwardness, as there have been several occasions where you embarrassingly have to hold Redson back from lashing out at a laughing MK and Mei for calling your arguments a lover's quarrel.

Though even with his high-and-mighty and hostile nature, it is important to remember that as long as a bond is formed, he won't ever actually harm or even remotely think of hurting you. Like, at all. He can be a bit bigmouthed at times, but many of his words should regularly be taken with a grain of salt. He is quick to snap at anyone from time to time, but I believe your presence would definitely keep him tame to a certain degree, as your mere existence just happens to soothe him. So on the bright side, you might be able to kick him off his high horse for the first time during his five hundred years of life.

I can picture Redson having grown up under a domain of regulation where females are generally and more often treated extra delicately due to being more ‘fragile’, so you can expect him to behave firmer, a bit more rough yet open to his real self a lot faster than if you were a female. He'll see you less as a ‘target’ for a lack of better term, and more as a comrade. Plus, if you were to give him the approval he lacked from his parents, it wouldn't feel uncomfortable as long as you have had the opportunity to create a connection. Though primarily, I cannot view intimate scenarios as anything other than plain awkward for a little while. You're gonna have to be the one initiating the hugs with him and give implications to get more touchy feely. Though when surrounded by eyewitnesses, he'll often still end up shooing you away ...you'll perhaps, just maybe absolutely get to hold his hand at most.

I mean, when's the last time you've seen somebody behaving sappy and all goo-goo with the literal son of the Demon Bull King out in the open? He just cannot allow it! Not only for the sake of his dignity, but also to keep up his image so you'll continue seeing him as an almighty demon who has an unnerving amount of political power over any lower rank. As far deep down, hidden within... he wants to appear and be so much more special to you than he'd be willing to admit.

If you were to lack in durability, fighting abilities or overall weapon skills, I can see Redson going out of his way to strictly teach you his ways of strength individually. Not necessarily in a sense to get you to his level, but in order to give you the capability to protect yourself. He would always be there to protect you with ferocious security at a moment's notice [and scold you afterwards for getting yourself in a dangerous situation], but he cannot help but doubt his abilities to ensure your safety at times. Along with fearing for the worst that one time he might not be there to save you. And this singular thought might just be what it takes to make him evaluate how he actually feels about you.

[swordlike]

Why I think Muu has NPD !

with more information from trial 3 this might change, but i have npd and for now i think this bug has it too. BTW if your weird abt people with personality disorders in the notes im stealing shit from your house ! take everything with a grain of salt, im not a therapist and disorders present differently for different people, this is just for fun. so lets get into it, all the translations are from the milgram wiki <3

belief in her own superiority, you can especially see this in one of the repeat lines in its not my fault. the imagery of the mv is also very tied to the idea of this, we know the mvs are biased, meaning this is how muu sees it herself, her being queen is only natural. 

next is muu’s sureness of her own innocence, this is of course, readily apparent. this ties into several npd traits, but mainly lack of empathy and self importance. she defends herself at every opportunity, in both audio dramas and her songs. 

while i’d consider these definitely major factors, i’m more interested in these lines from its not my fault,

her fear of being found guilty, of being caught out or wrong, is very common in those with npd, the way shes trying to set up es as special and understanding to manipulate them into not hating her out of this fear is really telling (you can also see her do this in both her audio dramas). the way she repeatedly asserts her innocence and status is also a common self soothing tactic to maintain ones ego, if she was “wrong” she would have to acknowledge that she isnt as perfect as she thinks, and this fear keeps her from even acknowledging the possibility. which is to say, i think muu is slipping into the queen bee role and imagery in the mv out of the fear she is wrong, as how npd functions is the grandiose self is a coping mechanism for poor self esteem and deep rooted shame.

manipulative tendencies, muu spends a lot of her interogations talking around es to get them to see muu as innocent, in her second interrogation with es its especially clear that shes trying to talk circles around them to get them to believe in her innocence. Also this.

she also is in the habit of using others. in the not my fault amv you can very clearly see the other girls bringing muu "honey", and one can’t so she immediately gets rid of her, for people with npd this is a common maladaptive defense mechanism, if someone stops providing you with praise or status theyll cut them out to protect themselves and thusly their ego.

people with npd, are unable to regulate their self esteem on their own and as such rely on outside praise or personal success to maintain their egos, know as "supply", which is one way you can interpret the honey in this reading.

belief others are jealous of her or out to hurt her. at multiple points across milgram muu accuses others of being jealous of her and thus out to get her, which is a common symptom of npd.

due to their belief in their own superiority and suspecting others of jealousy, people with npd are prone to hierarchical thinking and can often use putting others down as a way of maintaining their position, which would make sense since we know muu was a bully.

lack of empathy, people with npd struggle with affective empathy in particular (feeling stressed or anxious in response to others negative emotions), note muu’s lack of distress over others being hurt or upset.

avoidance of situations she doesn't like, while this may seem vague, this ties into multiple symptoms, having a large sense of self importance often can mean viewing certain tasks as bellow you or being extra adverse to things you don’t want to do regardless of consequences. she often is shown shoving her work off on other people, theres SO many examples of this one but heres just a few.

black and white thinking, not much to say about this one, this set of dialogue is also her trying to talk es into thinking she's innocent.

theres also her situation with haruka which ties into several things ive mentioned, lack of empathy, using others, etc. It's worth noting she says it makes her feel that they're friends, this probably reaffirms her own importance to her

dont really know where to put this one but. its very funny how she dodges the question.

as for how i think this could affect trial three, i think muu will either completely crash and burn and despise herself (narc crash moment) or she'll lean even harder on her grandioseness to cope.

anyways theres more i could say but this post was already getting long, maybe ill add more in an rb sometime, but in conclusion:

[whimsicalpoet44]

Cycle Breaker Placements

Placements I see in charts that indicate someone is here to work through generational trauma and promote healing. These placements can be really tough, but offer a really unique perspective of the world.

They can also reap the most benefits once they work through their lessons.

Biggest indicators are 4th house, 8th house, 12th house, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Aries placements. Also big emphasis on harsh aspects related to Pluto/Mars/Moon/Saturn/Sun. But these are one that stick out to me the most.

✨Pluto in the 12th House. This placement indicates a lot of childhood trauma. When I see someone with this placement, I know they've been through it. I have instant respect for them. Most individuals with this placement don't realize their own inner power. It's hidden in their subconscious underneath years of memories where they were told that they were powerless. They are SO powerful and they don't even realize it. Especially if their Pluto is in Scorpio, but this applies to all 12th House Plutos. Once they recognize their own power, they're literally unstoppable.

✨Chiron in Gemini/3rd House. These individuals have a fear of being seen. They struggle to use their voice and speak their truth. Their path is usually the road less traveled, and it can feel isolating at times. They might have felt like their opinions never mattered in childhood and struggle with a need to be understood. Once they use their voice, they can affect powerful change to those around them.

✨Lilith in Cancer/Lilith 4th House. This placement indicates that the person will be working through generational trauma related to the mother or the maternal side of the family. Emotional needs are likely not met in childhood, which causes the person to have trouble accepting/asking help from others. But they also can't completely help themselves. Nurturing their emotions helps them unlock all the power of Lilith.

✨Saturn Conjunct Moon. Saturn and the Moon have opposing energies. The Moon is nurturing. Saturn is the disciplinarian. Often times, it can also be interpreted to represent the Mother (Moon) and the Father (Saturn). The paternal figure might've been absent or ill. The maternal figure could've been stressed and emotionally reactive. Someone with this aspect basically has to become their own parent. They're forced to learn emotional regulation, self-respect, and self-love. It teaches them that they have value and they likely break a lot of toxic cycles during self-growth.

✨Mars in a fire sign + in the 4th House. Inheriting a parent's reactive nature is likely with this placement. At least this is what I've noticed when I've interpreted charts. Fire signs are quick to act and they are sometimes viewed as impulsive. With a fire Mars in the 4th House, they'll be forced to confront their explosive anger. If not, they can repeat toxic generational cycles. Their parents were likely aggressive and threatened their safety in the home. This is a REALLY tough placement.

✨Chiron in the 5th House. Inner child wounds are prevalent here. The individual's self-expression is limited or repressed, likely due wounds from a parent or caretaker in childhood. They hide the important parts of themselves and have a really hard time being vulnerable with anyone, including themselves. Embracing creativity and accepting themselves is how they heal. In the process, they break negative generational cycles.

✨Capricorn Moon. These individuals had a lot of expectations placed on them in childhood. They might have been forced to step up in their childhood and could've been more of a parent than their actual parents, raising themselves and/or siblings. They're seen as the responsible ones, and might have faded into the background, causing their needs to go unmet. Their caretakers could've put work before play, causing these individuals to adopt the same approach. They must learn how to be vulnerable and experience joy with others.

✨Venus in Scorpio (Bonus points if it's in retrograde). Trauma related to a person's sense of self-worth is common. They might have low self-esteem or struggle to navigate relationships. There's a possibility that your caretakers relationship was volatile, leaving them to be afraid of intimacy (i.e. Divorce). There could be possessiveness or jealousy in romantic relationships as well. Even obsessiveness. Finding a way to balance these energies and re-shape how they define relationships helps. They also undergo the most transformation in romantic relationships.

✨Moon Square Mercury. Emotions were not safe to express in childhood. They might have problems making decisions, constantly warring between their mind and their heart. They could lean onto old belief systems or coping skills, even when they know it doesn't work. After a while, they'll be forced to change their approach on how they deal with their emotions. Thus, breaking toxic cycles learned in childhood.

✨Saturn in the 12th House. Wounds here could be attributed to past life trauma, but it's usually agitated in childhood. These individuals are really hard on themselves and believe they don't deserve anything good in life. There's potential for memory suppression and a tendency to disassociate. Absent paternal figures are common with this placement. When they prioritize their mental health and work towards healing, they break generational curses.

✨Aquarius Placements. These individuals are often tasked with pursuing their own path and deviating from the "norm." Therefore, they struggle with trauma in childhood. They might have been bullied for their unique interests. They could be the family outcast. Whatever it is, they take their own path. They might break familial expectations that had been adhered to for generations. Therefore, breaking the cycle.

✨Pluto in Scorpio. Generationally, this is the one. Being mostly raised by boomer parents, they pulled the rug out from underneath their parents, calling out toxicity. They likely trigger their parents without even trying. They hold up a mirror, highlighting what their parents could've been if they had broken the cycle.

✨Sagittarius Mercury. They can't help it. They word vomit their observations. A lot of the times, it could be done with innocent intention. However, being catalysts for chaos, they open boxes that their families have tried desperately to keep shut. They are brutally honest and care fiercely about discovering the truth. Sometimes, they intentionally cause chaos for change. Letting little bits of information or truth slip, they can have their family in uproar and questioning their entire existence. They're the voice of truth. And their family can't escape it. And they might hate them for it. But they just can't help it. It comes out of their mouth before they have the chance to think about it. (12th House Sag Mercury individuals might have a different presentation/experience of this placement).

✨Pisces Moon/Rising. These individuals can have challenging relationships with their mothers or maternal figures. They typically lack boundaries and experience pretty intense people pleasing behaviors. They're also very different from the rest of their family, usually. They'll be put in situations by the universe to craft their own identity and stand up for themselves. They can be the first to educate themselves on boundaries and actually implement them.

✨8th House Suns. They are often used by the universe for change and upheaval. 8th House Suns don't always have to do something for this to happen. Their very existence can be triggering to others. This is because they are usually showcasing their best qualities by simply being themselves. This causes others to feel insecure, because they begin to recognize the qualities they lack inside of themselves. So, 8th House Suns end up becoming the family scapegoat. If you're an 8th house Sun, just remember that it isn't you. It's someone projecting their own problems onto you. There's power there if you know how to use it.

✨Neptune/Uranus in the 1st House. These individuals often have an air of mystery surrounding them. No one can really figure them out. So they end up having others project their assumptions about their character onto them. This is another placement where their very existence is troubling to others. Because they become a sounding board for others' insecurities.

I'll do more of these later and make this a series!

[vergeltvng]

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Having a smoke. His (usual smaller, both f and m) partner laying on top of him. Pillow talk - sometimes he opens up about things he'd never speak about under other circumstances.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He fancies his beard a lot. He also knows exactly what he's doing by wearing his shirts unbuttoned. He has a weakness for pretty eyes, especially when they resemble Becca's eyes. Keeping that to himself and sometimes even getting angry about it out of nowhere tends to leave his partner irritated as a logical consequence.

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Prefers cumming inside. He is skilled with his fingers, so he'd lend a hand helping his partner cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As a teenager/young adult he preferred women quite a bit older than him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows well what he's doing. He's in his late fortys and likely has lots of experience (in the show he states that he already fucked someone as a lad. It's also implied that he was liberate with hook-ups in the past).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Due to his dominant nature doggy comes natural to him. He thinks missionary is very much underrated, too. (Continuing a heated argument while fucking?!)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not goofy during sex. He's an animal who devours someone alive.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has dark, thick hair (head, face, arms, chest, legs and pubic hair) with overall moderate hairgrowth. It's all natural, he doesn't shave or trim anything. His beard is slowly turning grey by now.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Don't expect him to be sweet in any ways. It can happen accidentially, like once in a blue moon.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off to self regulate. This man has some serious anger issues. But most of the times he just does it for the pleasure.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Being called Daddy in a sexual situation gets him rock hard immediately.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He actually likes a bed the most. Which doesn't mean he can't fuck literally anywhere.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It really doesn't need much to get him going. Being blunt about it ("wanna fuck?") will bring good results.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't let anyone penetrate his asshole.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving and receiving is equally fine.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's rough and his thrusting gets faster right before cumming.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He'd be like "yeah, whatever". Neither despises nor favors quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's quite vanilla to be honest. Which is everything but boring in his opinion. He'll likely won't engage in bondage, roleplay, excessive spanking, whipping, choking and similar practices.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is in very good shape and has more stamina than some men twenty years younger than him. He usually has good control over his orgasm. Occasionally he cums early out of pure egoism.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't hate toys but is convinced he can do better. He also wouldn't like to have them used on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He gets impatient when he's being teased and it's getting dragged out too much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's loud. Curses, grunts, moans, growls. Will unmistakably let his partner know when he's close.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He won't pull out early. He just won't do it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Has a massive girth and makes good use of it. 6½ inches in length when having an erection.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has an average to high sex drive. He was more active and chronically horny as a young man.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He can fall asleep quickly after finishing but it depends on his mood and whether he's got good rest the night before or not.

tagged by: found it tagging: steal it, i dare you.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

i think some linguistic drift has happened with the word "stim" to include "motions i can't not make" and this has gotten kinda frustrating bc it coincides with a general awareness in the disabled blogosphere that stimming is also something autistics choose to do to self-regulate

so there'll be posts that include stuff abt what stims are acceptable vs what are breaking public boundaries, or like advice on how to choose stims that are acceptable around others, or stuff like that, but then simultaneously some things referred to as stims are involuntary and those things get seen as voluntary within disabled spaces and we reproduce a lot of ableist stuff wrt trying to control peoples bodies as a result?

like ive seen head-banging during meltdowns/overloads referred to as a self-injurious stim, frex, but thats definitely not a thing most autistics who do it can choose whether or not they're doing. on a smaller scale, like, i have a lot of involuntary movements due to bad brain-body wiring, and some of them will b things referred to as stims by other autistics (hand wringing, frex, or like, finger tapping, or my legs jerking/bouncing, or just like where im putting my fingers and how they move, idk how to describe it), and sometimes they will be done on someone elses body if we're cuddling or hugging or sitting next to each other, and thats not rlly controllable bc i cant control that im doing them to begin with (although ofc im happy to move to a different chair or the other side of the room or whatever if you ask).

(im aware that these are definitionally not tics bc ive been told by people who tic that tics are specifically not regulatory in nature, and cannot be used for self-regulation, whereas a lot of autistics have a more in-between experience of involuntary movements that still regulate our bodies, but we can't like, choose to do them when we're doing bad, and they also happen when we don't need regulation and they're not serving any purpose)

anyway im wondering if theres vocabulary for involuntary movements that might be self-regulatory in nature but can't be stopped or started at will like a stim can? bc i think we'd really benefit from using that more specific vocabulary.

[fragmented-sike]

A Lifeline for DID/OSDD: The Journal that could Change your Life

Hey guys! We're incredibly excited to share something that's finally been released for a month now: the Pieces in Peace Journal. This journal isn't just another project for us-it's resource born out of necessity and a deep understanding of what it means to live with Dissociative Identity Disorder and Other Specified Dissociative Disorder. And to celebrate a month of being launched, we're hosting a GIVEAWAY where two (2) lucky winners will receive a copy of the journal along with free lifetime updates to the journal!

Why we created the Journal

Living with DID/OSDD can feel incredibly overwhelming. When I was first diagnosed, I felt so alone. I felt like a freak. I felt isolated and scared and confused. This is why I got online and found community here to begin with. The daily challenges of managing different parts of yourself, tracking moods, tracking time-loss, dealing with memory gaps, and trying to explain your experiences to others can make life feel chaotic and confusing. I've personally navigated these complexities for close to a decade now, as I was diagnosed nearly 8 years ago, and I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find the right tools and resources to help make sense of it all.

Access to care is a major issue for so many of us. Whether it's due to financial barriers, lack of knowledgeable therapists, or simply not knowing where to turn, many people with DID/OSDD struggle to find the support they need. That's why I created the Pieces in Peace Journal-to offer a comprehensive, supportive resource that can be used alongside therapy or as a standalone tool for those who don't have access to regular treatment. I consulted with DID specialists and took tools from my own extensive treatment history to create this resource to offer the community.

This journal is designed to help you navigate the multifaceted nature of DID and OSDD, providing structure and clarity amidst what can sometimes feel like chaos. It's a tool for self-discover, emotional regulation, and system collaboration-a way to bring a sense of peace and understanding to your journey.

In the Journal you will find:

Post-Regulation Tracker: Track your feelings and progress after using regulation techniques for better self-awareness.

Communication Log: Record interactions between alters to enhance system communication and understanding.

Distress Tolerance Plan: Quick steps and techniques to manage and reduce distress effectively.

System Collab Goals: Set and track collaborative goals within your system for cohesive growth and progress.

These sections, along with MANY others (over 100 pages!!), are designed to support you in understanding and managing your system. They're tools to help you keep track of your progress, set goals, and ensure that everyone in your system is working together toward common goals.

Why the Journal Matters:

This journal isn't just a collection of pages-it's a lifeline for those who feel lost in the complexities of DID and OSDD. Each section is thoughtfully crafted to address the unique challenges that come with living with a dissociative disorder.

How to Enter the Giveaway:

To celebrate the one month launch of the Pieces in Peace Journal, we're hosting a giveaway! Here's how you can enter:

Check out the Giveaway post on IG for ALL the details on entering. Reblogging here counts as an extra entry!

This giveaway is open internationally and ends on August 20, 2024

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported us over the many years we've been on Social Media. We used to have a tumblr under the name FrgmntdPsyche that we deleted many years ago, however we are back now and plan on staying. Thank you to all of you who have had interest in the Pieces in Peace Journal and have supported us in it's creation and release! We truly appreciate every one of you and hope this journal becomes a valuable companion on your journey.

Stay tuned as we continue to work on making more resources for people across many spectrums (CPTSD, Chronic Illness/Pain, ADHD, and more!), host more giveaways, and help as best we can to give back to an incredible community who has saved our life on more than one occasion. Join our Discord for even more support and a great little cozy community of amazing people!

[elizakai]

When it comes to the bad sanses, there’s so many things to be explored, but I want to point out something I never see addressed

SOULS.

⬇️ little soul analysis under the cut!!!⬇️

They all have COMPLETELY different SOULs;

Nightmare: Nightmare is a being that is a lot different from other monsters. He is basically a god, with a SOUL that holds great importance in relation to the multiverse they all live in, it’s an embodiment of negativity and corruption. Not to mention, Nightmare originally HAD no SOUL (same as Dream, as their entire body was magic, more so than normal, thus essentially being their SOUL) and this is a result of absorbing/ becoming the multiverse’s negativity.

Killer: Killer’s SOUL has been mutilated and twisted out of shape, it visibly and by nature is a “corrupted” SOUL. His very being was brutally and forcefully shifted, starting with his mind and ending with his very core, his SOUL. It being out in the open and, well, a literal target, makes me assume this is a weak point. I am under the assumption that SOULs are a very touchy topic for this man.

Cross: Cross had a SOUL that could be assumed normal, but he is also a creation of X!gaster. (I didn’t represent his actual SOUL oops) he has been shown to be out of the norm in terms of his existence/SOUL. To take it a step further, when he is fused with the soul of Chara,human and DETERMINATION, he only posses half of a monster SOUL. Either way his essence is very much different then that of “natural” monsters, I think it’s pretty self explanatory

Horror: this one can go two ways. A lot of horrortale fans interpret horrors eye, his source of magic, a representation of his SOUL. It makes a lot of sense within the comic and story. Thus we could obviously see that an eye and a SOUL are very different. However it could be argued that “source of magic” and “essence of being” aren’t the same. A lot of the fandom also interprets horrors SOUL separately, and a fair assumption is made that his SOUL is either shrunken or sickly in appearance in this case. This makes sense due to horrors lack of/small amount of magic, his body learning to regulate itself without proper nutrients to keep his magic going.

Dust: Dust has the most natural monster SOUL of the group. We can assume that monsters who have attained high LV, such as Dust, also have altered SOULs, especially when we consider how violence is out of a monsters default nature. That said, monsters are ABLE to gain LV, so it isn’t some anomaly. One could also consider Dust attaining “new traits” to affect his soul. What I mean is it can be interpreted that, Dust having lost JUSTICE and gained DETERMINATION, along with the usual PATIENCE (supposed to be cyan lol) , his soul would probably also reflect these changes. We can call into question how much DETERMINATION Dust actually possess? Is it dangerous? Again, it still doesn’t alter his actual MONSTER SOUL much

(I’d also like to point out, I think it’s cool that red (DT) and blue (patience) make purple (perseverance) which is the color of dust’s magic…I think it’s interesting 🤷🏽‍♀️)

They probably wouldn’t know what to make of the others SOULs, as they are all so drastically different. If something were to happen to one of them…would they even know what to do?

(yeah I’m forcing my story ideas down your throats because headcanons)

All that to say, I’m interested to hear other people’s thoughts or headcanons on this, and I want to see more of this explored!!!

SHARE ANY THOUGHTS YOU HAVE ALRIGHT THAT’S ALL

[papabirdurskeks]

Precursor Anatomy Pt. 2

Continuing some more things with my headcanons on Precursors, here is a part 2 to the anatomy bit I had previously posted months ago!

Part 1 can be found here!

Again, these are just headcanons for myself and my main AU, which is all meant for fun!

With that said, here we go to start with the skeleton once again!

The Skeleton:

Picking up from part 1 where we briefly discussed the bones of the Precursor species, we were only given a view of the skull and a few notes. Here, now, we have a full skeleton to look to!

Just as previously stated, the bones are stained a teal bluish gray in color due to the rich, dark blue blood that flows through their bodies. It also stands tall in its stature, as most individuals average a height of above 16 feet. However smaller individuals have been documented and seen as well as taller individuals as well being close to 18 feet in height.

Their skeletons bear a striking and haunting resemblance to that of our own, being eerily similar in structure and stance. However, as previously stated, there are a few keen differences that do pop out to the eyes. Aside from the height and coloration of the skeleton, some parts of the bones have extra ligaments attached to them that are made of a cartilage like material. These ligaments are mostly attached to specific parts of the body that allow for Precursors to be flexible and agile when they need to be, mostly around the arms, hips, neck, and chest.

The elbows, wrists, and heels also possess defensive pikes to aid Precursors in a natural form of protection for self-defense. These pikes naturally form from the bones and harden as they break out of the skin and take on a darker color. Their spines are also lined with special pikes known as nerve pikes, which allow Precursor nervous systems to properly function. This area, much like the back of their heads, are extremely sensitive to touch.

A final note of detail also falls on the hips, being wide and nearly identical to female human hips, indicating they do carry their young within and give birth similarly to humans. This is a clear indicator to Precursors being an intersex species.

The Body:

Next comes the physical body frame of the Precursor, which has been showcased many times in numerous posts before. But with the help of En, we can get a better look and idea of the Precursor body by glance of his frame.

Beyond the skeleton lies a body that is shrouded in pale white skin lined with dark stripes and markings alike that paint the most sensitive parts of the frame. These dark markings are an outside liner of the nervous system that lines their bodies while also helping to regulate warmth/heat throughout their bodies. However, over time and the course of evolution, these markings have begun to fade with time though the purpose they hold still remains just the same.

As shown below, with a repeat post of the height references over time, the evolution of their bodies is shown throughout the different time periods.

As time goes on and evolution stays its course, Precursors of the modern era have grown taller and somewhat lankier to fit into their newfound environment in their great worldships orbiting in space. Their claws have grown longer and sharper, their bodies more flexible and taller, their tendrils longer to better aid them in feeling out their surroundings and reading the environment better.

The Tongue:

A rather short passage here, but an interesting and quick note to be made about Precursor tongues is that they possess some rather long, giraffe-like tongues in nature.

While hardly ever seen out in the open, as it is considered rude and impolite to show one's tongue in the public in Precursor culture, their tongues are considered to be quite long and strong. These powerful muscles actually help them in extra grooming methods such as keeping one's eyes clear of debris or adding a protective layer of saliva to keep them cool in hot places. It also aids them in getting hard to reach food that is out of their reach when out and about living off newfound environments.

This long, prehensile tongue sits comfortably within a pouch in their jaws.

The Teeth:

And now comes the last bit of notes that can be offered for the moment, Precursor teeth!

While briefly touched upon in the last post, it is important to look upon the teeth of a Precursor as part of their anatomy. These teeth, while some would think are dull and small like a human's, are quite large and powerful when seen.

Adult Precursors have long and sharp canines that are nearly identical to that of a chimp. And while their bites are not powerful enough to crush bone, they are dangerous enough to sever flesh and pull them from the bodies of unfortunate individuals daring enough to provoke them.

Despite such sharp canines, however, the rest of their teeth prove Precursors to have a varied diet of both meats, fruits, and vegetables that are easily broken down with these powerful teeth.

These teeth are also used as displays of threat to further emphasize a Precursor's viewing of undesirable individuals. This is usually accompanied by their skin darkening and the flare of nerve lights lining their faces and necks.

However, these powerful canines are only found in adult Precursors. Children under the equivalent age of 14 do not have these canines but instead blunt milk teeth.

As soon as a child hits the age of 14 (the equivalent of it), their canines will begin to grow in. This process is considered to be extremely stressful and painful to the child as it causes heavy and chronic headaches that last about a month. These headaches are almost akin to a heavy migraine. Many parents usually try to help their children through this painful moment with medicines and teas to ease their pain.

---

This now concludes part 2 of the headcanons on anatomy! Again, these are just my own personal thoughts and headcanons for my AU and more will come soon! c:

[chaotic-zora]

Silvyr Art Dump - Extended lore for them and their Domain below the cut.

Diplomat of Volica and Advisor to the Usurper King, Silvyr is a former captain who aided the current King in dethroning the previous royals and banishing the corrupt council/nobles. They were the strategeist behind the coup.

With the previous council gone, and subsequent shortage of expertise, they duel wield roles to keep the Domain running. Sharp in mind and calculative by nature, they leave nothing to chance.

Volica is currently experiencing a food shortage due to over harvesting of nearby reefs by the former nobles & council, who were exporting all their food for profit. They are thus pursuing trade negotions to secure more food.

The Domain itself is located on a cliff that borders the ocean. With a dormant underwater volcano somewhat nearby to mine from, their Domain is rich in minerals and metallic ores commonly used in the production of weapons/accessories.

Volcano ---> Volica (Domain name is derived from the nearby Volcano, their most valuable resource, and the reason for the Domain's existence, as it was founded by a small group of zoran miners! Mining is the largest profession in the Domain, and is integral to their livelihood. They love that fckin volcano so much.)

History:

The former Lead Captain and strategist of Volica's royal zoran knights and warrior faction. On the battlefield they were a force to be reckoned with, fighting exclusively with ice magic.

With fighting occupations being the least favored in the Domain in terms of enrollment, and the Domain itself in a difficult location to guard (cliff face), Silvyr made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure they could protect their home from land based monster attacks (see Silvyr's Chosen Giant - Lifespan sacrifice).

This resulted in them feeling especially slighted when the zora of Volica began to suffer beneath the corrupt royals/nobles. Nyvor's sentence, Thresh's departure (both of whom were close friends), and the lack of improvement after the corrupt noble was slain (who was initially thought to be the source of the problem), brewed such contempt within Silvyr's heart they began planning the coup.

Ice Magic (Origins):

Silvyr descends from a long line of prideful water magic users. Yet unlike their predecessors, Silvyr struggled during their youth with their abilities. Ever flowing, always changing, the flexibility of understanding required to control water was something Silvyr lacked. This came as a devastating blow to their family.

Yet determined to succeed, they endlessly practiced, pushing themselves to their utmost limits. In an attempt to make the water more structured, they began to fix it in place, unknowingly all the way down to the molecular level, until suddenly, it turned to ice. Thus unlocking ice magic.

Silvyr's Ice magic abilities are dampened when in water, which is why they feel better in underwater environments!

Volica & The Termania Giants:

Many in Volica worship the Giants of Termania. Though Termania is located in a parallel world (per Majora's Mask lore), it is said you can contact the giants during sleep, when the veils between realms are the thinnest. If you sacrifice something of yourself, the giant may grant you amplified abilities. The origins of who brought the legend of the giants to Volica, and the zora who established first contact, is unknown.

Silvyr's Chosen Giant:

Silvyr is favored by the Goron Giant. To protect their Domain, they self sacrificed 100 years of their lifespan to the Giant in exchange for an insane magic amplification.

Side Effects:

Excessive use of powerful ice magic may result in adverse side effects, contact your healer if you experience any of the following: Migraines, muscle aches, lowered body temperature, inability to regulate said body temperature, low sanity episodes, lock jaw, fin cracks, excessive consumption of spicy foods, dizziness, shortened life span, chills-

Nowadays, due to the above side effects, Silvyr only uses ice magic during times of need or for petty retributions (such as freezing the feet of someone that pissed them off to the ground, worth the subsequent headache).

Hand Symbols:

Started using hand symbols during their youth while wielding ice cause they thought it looked cool. Now it genuinely helps them concentrate and they're super embarrassed about it.

Voted Best Cuddler in Volica:

Due to their lowered body temperature Silvyr feels perpetually cold when on land, and (to a lesser degree) in water. As a result they can ALWAYS be found cuddling other zora(s) for warmth while sleeping. Everyone in the Domain loves it, no complaints.

When around strangers, Silvyr will initiate contact with a gentle touch to the arm, silently requesting the others companionship. If accepted, that zora WILL be cuddled till morning.

Additional Facts:

-Overheated zoras fresh from the volcanic mines often seek Silvyr out for a hug cause they feel so cold to the touch. Results in a dog pile (fish pile?) sometimes.

-LOVES spicy food. Will straight up eat a bag of RAW ghost peppers and be completely unbothered.

-Commonly seen wearing a fur lined cloak for warmth when on land.

-Doesn't overly emote unless exasperated, stressed, or during low sanity episodes. Zoras in Volica have an ongoing scoreboard of who has gotten Silvyr to smile the most. Thresh is currently leading (and is very smug about it).

[33446699]

Toxic relationships : How to end this cycle ?

Toxic relationships are in which your wellbeing ,safety and happiness is consistently undermined .These points are how to leave toxic relationships in general whether they are romantic ,platonic , coworkers, friends,family etc

Start loving yourself,in toxic relationships sense of self worth is destroyed and self love is at the lowest point ,stop blaming yourself,the most important step you can do is to gradually and slowly consciously tell yourself that it's not you who is the problem but the other person ,its a slow growth process which will eventually help you to realise how important you are

Stop believing that you can change the other person if someone is not making you priority it means they don't want to do it ,stop thinking that if they are hurting you continually they will change someday

Try to be financially independent or try to save money if possible, it seems difficult but it's very very important,most of the times people who are stuck in these relationships can't get out due to the financial dependence

Don't provoke the person you are dealing with in arguments and fights ,cause it will only be dangerous to you ,as it may start physical abuse or intense emotional abuse anyone who is toxic isn't affected by these things Infact they live on and enjoy these kind of arguments,fights

If you can't afford to live separately or faraway from these kind of people, minimize or atleast reduce the contact and interactions you can have with them

People who go back and forth in toxic or abusive relationships are mostly because of the disregulation of emotions and nervous system,for this maybe leaving suddenly that person won't be effective as you may find yourself going back to the same person again ( likely if you have done this previously) in this case slowly start detaching with the person

Slowly start regulating your nervous system and your emotions ,your brain got conditioned to the highs and lows of this relationship and as soon as your brain won't get it ,it will start craving it ,trauma bonding makes it very difficult to leave these relationships

Don't believe in words of affirmation if their words don't match their actions ,and they tell you they care about you but constantly do things which hurt you ,it's nothing other than manipulation

Create and be assertive of your boundaries,it will not only reduce the interactions but also will help you see their true nature

Don't invest in a business together,if possible separate your assets or bank accounts

Don't lose contact with your friends,relatives parents etc any person who is good or neutral to you ,so that you won't be left alone in dark when they decide to leave you

Try to involve yourself in hobbies or anything which helps you to reduce your anxiety etc and help you to shift your focus ,and make your brain condition to the new hobby that makes you feel peaceful and happy

Try to eat healthy if possible because the most important person in the end is you ,and the chances of getting sick are likely in these cases because body is constantly in a survival mode

Try to reach out to a professional if possible in case of depression and have suicidal thoughts ,if it's not possible for you to reach out to a professional due to any reason ,there are professionals on different social media platforms platforms who can help in this case

Don't take insults or abusive comments personally because they mostly say things what they think of themselves and what they do themselves

Start collecting evidence and have documentation of things ,in case you may need something in legal cases or you need to show therapist

Don't lose yourself and don't forget yourself,recall who you were and and how the relationship affected you negatively,instead of focusing on the rare happy moments try to remember what they did to you so that you don't lose yourself again

Stop blaming yourself for the things what happened to you or for allowing others to use you,for being nice ,sometimes we need to learn life lessons ,forgive yourself and start loving yourself

Ask yourself questions and analyse your behaviour that what is this person bringing to your life ,and if they are not making you happy adding some value to your life ,why you still want to be with this person,is it some kind of attachment issue you need to address and if yes then work on it

If you believe in the idea of twin flames and soulmates and that is the reason why you are staying in these toxic relationships, realise that your soulmate won't make you feel crap about yourself and if the relationship isn't giving you peace and happiness,maybe it's time to get out of it ,we don't find peace in places where we aren't meant to be

If you have a plan to leave ,don't tell the person who you are in toxic relationship with , as they may try to stop you from leaving ,or start gaslighting, manipulative techniques

After ending your relationship don't go to next relationship immediately,give yourself some time to heal and try to love yourself

Rebuild your life and remember if you don't believe in forgiveness the best revenge is your own happiness and success,so set your life goals and decisions accordingly

If possible go no contact,block or whatever suits you ,tell yourself that you don't need closure,you don't need a last conversation with them to know what went wrong ,don't need apologies and don't stay hopeful that that toxic people will change because they mostly don't

In the end I hope we find people who are good to us and good for us and be able to feel how beautiful life and love , relationships can be ,as much as being in a healthy relationship is important,getting out of toxic relationships is also very important ,don't allow anyone to walk all over you again and again ,you are a human being not a doormat

* I am not an expert and maybe not the best person to give advice in these conditions but if anyone who is going through these conditions and want to get out of these relationships find these tips helpful I will be glad , these points are based on my knowledge and experience while observing these kind of relationships in my surroundings

* This is just an attempt to help anyone suffering in these conditions,in any serious case please contact professionals , authorities which can help you or reach out to people who are close to you if you need help .

*if you don't find it helpful or find I am wrong , you can correct me and don't need to agree with me ,but while doing so please be kind