#due to some stupid decisions he made when he was younger

[haseti]

Sometimes i think about how Eret even tho prideful of his trapping years after a while he did want out. But he had a daughter to keep safe and think about and then Drago branded him like property. So he didn't see an easy way to leave that life. He also had his crew who relied on him to keep them safe from Drago's wrath.

What I'm getting at is Eret's a great complicated character than just the man with a pretty face and I hope I can write out more about whats happened to him through the years.

[dark-konohagakure2]

Helloooo! This is my first time requesting something like this so im super nervous .. but do you think you could write something along the lines of madara niece getting married of to him and them consummating (getting freaky deaky) the wedding? Its okay if not, i love your work! ^_^

tw: incest, uncle/niece, noncon, forced marriage, age difference, misogyny, breeding, size difference, cumflation

All characters depicted are 18+

Madara doesn't care about romance in the slightest, much less marriage. He can appreciate taking a woman's body as a spoil of war, but other than that he couldn't care less about such tedious distractions such as women. But as little thought as he puts into the matter, the fact remains that Madara will need an heir soon as head of the Uchiha Clan, and there is only one suitable candidate for birthing his sons.

Madara isn't incredibly close with his niece, he doesn't hate her, but he isn't exactly a doting uncle either. Most of his memories of his niece are of her as a small and meek thing, hiding behind her father Izuna's leg and clinging to her mother's skirt, but now that she's grown older, she has become an attractive young woman, the spitting image of her late father, his precious younger brother, so Madara decides to kill two birds with one stone.

Forcing her hand in marriage is almost top easy, the girl's mother has been in disarray since her husband's death, so the woman sees her only daughter getting married as a good thing for the clan. Even if Madara is the girl's uncle, he is without a doubt the most suitable male for her out of every man in the Uchiha clan, or at least that's the point he'll hammer in.

His niece isn't terribly happy when she receives the news that she'll be getting married, what's worse is that she gets this shocking news at the very last minute, as Madara doesn't even think to tell her about their unconventional 'engagement' until the very day right before their so-called wedding, and he definitely won't be sympathetic to her hysterical woman tears.

"Enough or your shrieking, girl. I've already made my decision and it is final. If you can't even do something as simple as rearing a few children for our clan, then you don't deserve to be called an Uchiha."

The wedding isn't exactly a large one, it'd just the two of them, not even the mother is allowed to attend her own daughter's 'wedding', Madara doesn't need two crying women ruining his special day. The wedding kimono suits his adorably homely niece rather well, but Madara thinks it would suit her much better on his bed, so suffice to say that the marriage ceremony will be rather quick.

Once it's finally done, Madara will practically drag her to his chambers, his cock unbearably hard beneath his wedding robe, he never thought he'd ever be so excited about sinking his cock into a wet cunt, but his niece's tight little Uchiha pussy is just too much of a tempting forbidden fruit for him to resist sinking his teeth into. While his main goal is reproduction, Madara will also be after his own pleasure during this act of consummation.

Madara's cock is long and thick, stretching her virgin walls before he then gets it halfway inside, and when he finally rams his thick meat into her, his leaking tip will immediately and mercilessly bash into her cervix like a battering ram, it would be next to impossible for her to get thoroughly knocked up due to how deeply Madara is penetrating her fertile cunt.

Madara doesn't take any half measures, he wants her swollen with his seed, with his offspring, and he's not going to achieve that by just one measly orgasm inside of her, he's going to cum inside of her as much as possible, fucking his superior seed into her until her flat tummy becomes bloated with the sheer amount of cum that Madara has dumped into her, and even then he's not going to stop enjoying his niece-wife for quite some time.

"Stupid girl, don't pass out on me just yet, weakling. It's only been four rounds and you're already whining and leaking? Pathetic. How did I get burdened with such a weak niece..?"

Madara's opinion on sex won't change too much even after having his way with his new 'wife', but now he's able reach a conclusion; he doesn't have any need for other women and their holes now, since his niece is the only set of holes Madara can imagine himself using for the foreseeable future.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hiiii. I hope you are well. I would like to request Cregan Stark x female!reader where reader is sleeping in her chambers and has a nightmare and walks the halls late at night going to Cregan’s chambers for comfort but is also hesitant because the two haven’t really spent time together since they were put into an arranged marriage. She stands in front of his bedroom door while trying to decide if she should knock or not but before she could Cregan opens the door after hearing movement. He spends the night trying to make her feel safe. Thank you 😊

I’m rusty and out of practice after not writing for hotd for so long but I hope this makes up for it 🦦🐿️

You couldn’t go back to sleep, the nightmare had awoken you so suddenly and violently that the idea of falling back to sleep disturbed you greatly, so instead you took to walking the foreign halls of your new home in Winterfell.

In truth it took some time for you to get accustomed to the change in climate, that and the change from your old rather relaxed and light attire to thick furs and multiple layers to keep warm, but you were reassured by your parents that you’d sooner or later come to love the endless landscapes of snow with your arrange marriage to Lord Cregan Stark.

Now Cregan Stark had been nothing but considerate and generous towards you, a honourable man amongst immature little boys as your father would put it, and his words have never been more true as house Stark was well known for their loyalty and their dedication to their duty. However it was due to Cregan’s commitment to his duty that left you with little to no time to get to know the man who had already garnered quite the reputation for himself. You did not blame the man for doing so, it was admirable to see a man do whatever it took to protect his home compared to those who dared called themselves men back home; the very same ‘men’ who’d abandon their wives and children for a silver of something…younger and more beautiful.

And yet you found yourself coming out of a self induced daze and stood outside of Cregan’s own personal chambers, almost as if your body had stopped it’s ceaseless wandering and brought you to the one person who could bring you comfort on its own accord, but yet you failed to find the strength to even lift a hand to knock on the heavy door as new thoughts of whether you’d be interrupting or annoying him with your presence; This was the only time where you wished you spent more time getting to know Cregan as you didn’t know the type of man he’d be when you needed him for moments such as these, moments where you’d be frightened and out of your mind with increasing worry, even over the smallest of things.

Would you be a burden to him? Too much for him? Would your actions tonight alone would bring about the end of the arrangement? All these answers so much more ran rampant within your head as you began to second guess whether or not this was your smartest of decisions, going and seeking comfort from a man you knew far too little about on a personal level over something as simple as a nightmare, you’ve contemplated this for quite a while to the point you felt stupid and childish that you didn’t notice the noise you had made already brought Cregan out of his slumber.

‘Are you alright m’lady?’ Cregan asks upon noticing how conflicted you looked as you shifted your weight on your feet and fiddling with your hands.

‘My lord,’ you gasped, ‘what’s you doing up at such time as this?’

Cregan tilted his head. ‘Well I heard shuffling outside my door and I came to see what it was, only to find you in deep thought.�� He then reached out to grasp your hand in his securely as his eyes softened. ‘Is there something the matter? Something wrong?’ He then asks in a whisper. ‘Anything I can do to help my betrothed rest easier?’

You tried to smile as authentically as you could in hopes of dissuading Cregan from going out of his way for you and let out a laugh. ‘There’s no need, I just…needed some air and familiarise my new home.’ You told him but it was obvious that he wasn’t buying it as Cregan looked down the hallway before pulling you into his chambers and closing the door behind him. ‘Now that there is no possibility for anyone to intrude, would you like to tell me what’s bothering you m’lady?’

‘I-‘ you tried to speak but found yourself falling short of an easily believable answer, especially not when his eyes seemingly read you like an open book.

‘There is no need to keep up appearances, not with me,’ Cregan says as he gently guides you to a nearby chair, still holding your hand, as though deep down he knew that you needed to be in some form of constant contact with him to bring yourself back to reality. ‘Now tell me what’s gotten you so distraught?’ He knew something was wrong but didn��t know how to handle the situation without you telling him what it was that was disturbing you. Now Cregan understood that you might not be on that level of comfortability with him just yet to open up about your innermost thoughts and feelings, he can just hope that him being here with you was proof enough to show that he deeply cared for your well-being, and that with time you’ll come to him freely and without fear that he’d cast you and your heart aside.

You didn’t say anything at first, still having your concerns on how he’d react once you tell him, but the other side of your mind was telling you to take this an an opportunity to make up for the lack of time to get to know each other, so you opened your mouth and the words that you’ve been trying to put a stop poured out seamlessly. ‘I had a nightmare and I thought that a walk would help but it seems as though at the thought of you, my feet brought me to your chambers on their own accord.’

Cregan smiled softly as he squeezed your hand, running his thumb across it. ‘Is that so m’ lady? You thought of me in your moment of need?’

‘Of course,’ you tell him, finally squeezing his hand back, feeling yourself growing more confident and secure within his presence, ‘It was as though deep down I knew you’d never scoff at my worries, and instead bring me comfort as though it were instinct, but my mind tried to trick me into believing that you wouldn’t and I would’ve believed them had you not answer the door when you did.’ You admitted and felt a weight come off of your shoulders, allowing you to fully relax within Cregan’s presence that felt akin to the comforting weight of furs being draped over your shoulders, comforting, warm and grounding.

‘And I never would scoff at your worries because your worries are my worries m’lady.’ Cregan tells you as he knelt before you, resting his free hand against your cheek, watching as you melted into his touch, sighing in content. ‘Now tell me how I can be of help to you be rid of this pain?’ He then asks softly as though speaking any louder would somehow offend you.

‘Pardon me if this seems too forward my lord but,’ you paused to take in Cregan’s handsome features before looking down at your intertwined hands, this was the union that your parents wanted for you and now that you were here with him, you didn’t want to leave for your lonely chambers, ‘would you allow for me to stay here for the night, held in your arms until the nightmare is a memory long forgotten.’ You finished, looking into his eyes as they gleamed with happiness and love.

‘Only if you are comfortable with that m’lady.’ Cregan said and you couldn’t help but chuckle as his thoughtfulness towards you, the same thoughtfulness that suggested sleeping in separate rooms until you felt comfortable enough to share a room with him.

‘Of course I do,’ you tell him with a real genuine smile, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his as you squeezed his hand, ‘I wouldn’t have suggest it if I didn’t.’ You added and without hesitation Cregan brought you into his strong arms as he carried you off towards his bed, laying you down gently as he join you before pull in you back into his arms again, softly guiding your head into resting against his chest.

Cregan turned out to be a lot warmer than you had originally expected but you couldn’t help but snuggle further against him, making him smile and press a featherlight kiss to your head as he tightened his hold on you. ‘I promise to keep your nightmares at bay as you deserve only the sweetest and kindest of dreams to greet you at the end of every day.’ He promises to you as he pressed another kiss to your head, making you smile widely as you couldn’t help but feel as though you were already living within a dream with how impossibly perfect Cregan was.

‘I feel as though I am in one already my lord.’ You tell him sleepily.

‘Then I shall try my best to make you keep thinking that m’lady.’ Cregan replied as you soon feel asleep against the man who had quickly claimed your heart.

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[awarmbowlofhomemadesoup]

Stories: Miyamoto Usagi vs. Yuichi Usagi

(made for Leonardo shippers who can't decide between two rabbits)

Both Miyamoto and Yuichi's stories are based on doing what's right -be it honor, justice or kindness.

There is a difference, with the former being for older age groups and the latter being for the younger.

(this is based on my opinion with no energy to put in sources, take it with a grain of salt)

Personalities

Assuming that Miyamoto came of age when he became a samurai during the Edo period, he became a wandering one at 16-17. Yuichi left home when he was 16.

Both Miyamoto and Yuichi share similarities. Despite Miyamoto having a perpetual scowl, they both have a sense of humor. Both are not above doing stupid stuff on rare occasions due to age and arrogance (like the time Miyamoto tried to lord his status over a monk who turned out to be Mirage comics Leo). Both are patient and giving with kids.

In the start of their stories, Miyamoto has more experience with the outside world and fighting than Yuichi as will be explained below. However, it is Yuichi who has closer bonds.

Living Situations and Relationships

Both will have different perspectives due to their living situations. Because Miyamoto is on a pilgrimage for years to find himself, the people he meets only stay with him for weeks at maximum.

He is a good guest to kind families who would take him in. Miyamoto would end up helping with their woes (whether it's exploitative landlords or businessmen stirring conflict between communities).

Miyamoto seems to be closer to his master than his father as most of his backstories on upbringing revolved around his master.

Yuichi in his story is just beginning. He is bound to the city to help with the yokai and to train with his master since he lacks the temperament and experience.

He also has friends to support and accompany him -and being their own people, they have their own conflicts that affect him and the others too.

Yuichi also has closer relations with his family, particularly his aunt, whom he feels undeserving of her love because of his many mistakes of being restless on the farm.

Threats that They Deal With

Miyamoto's life is harsh because of bandits and assassins on the roads he travels. He is a bounty hunter to have money for his travels. Sometimes, he meets malicious spirits.

While Yuichi's aunt has protected and taught him long enough, he has to deal with interstellar threats that are over his head using mystical means.

Usagi Yojimbo

Based from what I've read of Miyamoto Usagi's story in the Usagi Yojimbo comics, most of the comics revolved around honor, the code of the samurai, and how far you take it to be true to the samurai way.

Some of the comic series show the harm it can inflict on others when warriors take duty, obedience, and self-sacrifice too far:

Gen's father who spent the rest of his life looking to avenge his master at the cost of his wife's exhaustion and death, and alienating his son who resented him for it.

Another samurai who was aware of how corrupt his sworn lord was and chose to keep his honor as a samurai by defending him to the death.

But that even if you follow honor over your heart, it's sometimes the most practical and wise -such as Mariko choosing to hide the true identity of her son's father and marrying someone else so that Miyamoto can serve his master instead of running to her to take responsibility. (while I don't agree with her decisions, I can at least understand where she's coming from)

The comics don't really show what's wrong or right. It allows the readers to decide for themselves.

And for Miyamoto, he would do the right thing (duty, obedience and self-sacrifice as a samurai).

And if he can't do the right thing, then he will do what's kind.

And if he can't do what's kind, then he will do what's just.

Like in one of the comics, he was tasked to retrieve the sword of a widower's husband as it is the birthright of her son. (do what's right)

But the village girl who had a relationship with the husband wouldn't let go of the sword -even for money. Miyamoto doesn't want to force her, so she decided to give her time to think about it. (do what's kind)

But the girl's brother accidentally killed her when they fought over the sword. When Miyamoto found out, he avenged her and buried her next to the husband. (do what's just)

Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles

The name Yuichi means "kind." And while Yuichi doesn't seem formally and in-depth trained as his ancestor in being a samurai, it frees him from its complications. He isn't as burdened as his ancestor by the samurai code.

Miyamoto and the other samurais in his time are burdened with obedience, duty, and self-sacrifice. Yuichi is free from those.

Yuichi is more straightforward. He stays in the city and help with the yokai because it is his fault. But soon, he defies what is supposedly his lord (Lord Kogane) to stand up for the yokai who had done no harm and help them find their place in the city.

While being a samurai seems outdated or outlawed in their city, Yuichi has brought balance with it by following the code his auntie has instilled in him: to defend those who cannot defend themselves. And later on, with the yokai and Kagehito: help those who cannot help themselves.

But it doesn't come without consequences. By the end of Season 2, it would be believable if the risks he took would haunt him despite everything becoming alright. He risked his life, his family and friends' lives, and the city in an advanced alien invasion to help another alien. Things might have turned differently if he hadn't learned to connect with the Ki crystal at the last minute.

Conclusion

Comparing the two Usagis is like comparing a ponkan from an orange. Both use kindness as a weapon, but each wields it differently due to experience, situation, and period of living.

They will both carry different regrets. They will have different stories and choices because they have similar but different perspectives. Miyamoto has been doing his pilgrimage for years. Yuichi is still beginning his journey.

But this is just my opinion from having completed Samurai Rabbit S1 and 2, and about 40 series of Usagi Yojimbo before taking a break. Do what you will.

[babiebom]

When You Fall(ii)

A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed the first chapter, this story is going to be angst filled, at least for the first several chapters. 

Previous Next Masterlist

TW: depression, talks of self harm, clinics

WC:2.9k

The smell of bleach burns your nose before you fully come to. Your vision is hazy around the edges, eyes burning due to the bright lights above you. You flutter your eyelashes, sitting up quickly, ignoring the pain in your limbs. 

There are other beds around you, all empty and neatly made up. You breathe in deeply through your mouth, unable to call out like you want to, the burning sensation in your throat making any sound hurts it. 

You hear the soft squeaking of hinges, only able to see the corner of a door swinging open. A man appears from the doorway, his eyes warm and lips covered by the bushy mustache that sat below his nose. You stared with your mouth agape, the scene somewhat reminding you of that one scene in a vampire movie you hadn't seen in a while. 

Though, the man was obviously human, face slightly red near his cheeks as if he wasn't expecting you to be awake yet. "Farmer! You're awake! I'm glad. His smile sent butterflies in your stomach, and the fact that he was in a doctor's coat made your decisions seem extra stupid, because now you look like a fool in front of who you assume is town doctor, though it being a small town he's probably not even a real one.

"Yeah…what happened?" You hoped if you feigned confusion that it would seem like one big accident, you were farming for the very first time after all.

"Someone found you passed out on your farm."

"Someone did?" You wonder what anyone could've been doing on your farm, but then again these were country folk who probably stopped by to introduce themselves and scope you out. 

"Yeah, and I have to say you're very lucky she-" he coughs to cover up his mistake, "-they did. If they had found you any later you might've not made it." His kind eyes held some disappointment and worry in them.

You grimace in your seat, swinging your legs over the edge, the need to escape flooding your senses. "I'll be more careful, promise."

"Good," the man sucks in a breath, now looking elsewhere as he begins to back out of the room. "I'm going to send in the nurse with medicine to help you heal quicker."

You nod, letting your feet dangle above the ground, attempting to shoot the man a smile. As soon as he exited the room, you let your shoulders fall, exhausted from...well exhausting yourself. It was as if the choice you made was purposefully making itself worse than it normally would've been. As if it was making a point against you doing something stupid again, though you know you would still self sabotage again. Forcing yourself to pass out didn't really help anything, if anything it made you feel even shittier. You could feel the gazes of your now deceased family members on your head, all looking at you in disappointment and worry. 

As soon as you began to drown in your thoughts, the door swung open again, less gently than last time, almost smacking the wall behind it. Taken aback, you wonder how this person became a nurse, and the second you see her the thought is only amplified. 

The woman that enters is pretty, but more in a soft and unassuming kind of way, like you had to be seeing her for her beauty to reveal itself. She's also very young, she looks as if she's your age or even younger. Definitely not old enough to have a degree in the medical field, at least with how long you're assuming a nursing degree takes. 

She bites her lip and frowns, looking back at the door before entering the rest of the way. She clears her throat, shuffling over to you silently. "So, um, Doctor Harvey is prescribing you some Tylenol and an energy tonic. We have both here so you won't need to buy them, he's giving you them for free this time."

You nod, relieved that the medicine was free and you wouldn't have to pay for it. You lost your medical insurance after quitting the Joja job. Taking the medicine from her hands, you immediately down the energy tonic, the taste slightly sour on your tongue. Immediately you feel rejuvenated, your body returning to a state that you hadn't felt in years. You roll your shoulders back, blinking rapidly to get used to the feeling of being perfectly rested. You still felt shitty emotionally, but at least that wasn't bogged down by being half dead from working and not getting enough sleep.

"Wow, ok." You speak in surprise, the woman smiles brightly at you, unsurprised. 

"Yeah! Works pretty well huh?"  

"Totally," you slide off of the bed, not even stumbling. That tonic makes you feel as good as new, and you fight the urge to buy a million to keep in your house. 

She rocks on her heels, looking around before her eyes settle on you. She looked so giddy, as if she had been waiting to say something. "If you ever feel tired or like passing out again don't hesitate to stop by!" Her eyes look like mini crescent moons as she smiles at you, lighting up the room. 

"Will do." She leads you out of the room and towards what you assume is the lobby. 

"I'm Maru, by the way," she turns to look at you as she begins to talk, you nod in response, "I've been looking forward to meeting you," you can almost see the excitement roll off of her in waves, "you know, with a small town like this, a new face can really alter the community dynamic. It's exciting!" 

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, now embarrassed that this is her first impression of you. Grimace at her, trying to come up with something to say to make the situation less awkward on your end. "Some impression huh?"

She shrugs, still looking at you warmly. You both stop right before the doors where you now know the lobby is, being able to see through the small window on the door. "I mean, you're grieving. I think it's to be expected of someone that's lost so much in so little time. Along with moving, it's no surprise that you ran out of steam."

"You know about…" you can't even bring up the deaths without getting choked up. Maru looks shocked and horrified at the situation, her face contorting in surprise.

"I- oh god, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have brought it up. It was insensitive of me. Crap." She bites her lip awkwardly and now hurries to get you through the doors. You want to ask again how'd she know, so that's exactly what you do. Ask again, but also skirt around certain words. Did everyone know?

"Um, well," she closes her eyes, breathing out, "I mean, everyone knows. Your grandfather was loved here, and when he…everyone was sad. Then the um, graves popped up and we put two and two together…I'm super sorry if I hurt your feelings or anything. I swear it wasn't my intention."

You shake your head, now preoccupied with the thought of everyone knowing, whispering, talking about your parents and grandfather, about you before you even had the chance to meet them all. You wonder why Maru even wanted to meet you. Was it pity? Pure curiosity? Did everyone pity you? Did everyone want to meet you in ways that were similar to meeting a baby lion or something at the zoo? As if you were a stray dog on the verge of being put down at a kennel? 

Wrapped up in your thoughts, you finally leave the clinic, going by distant memories to get back home. There was no need to sleep now, though with the storm inside of your head the mental exhaustion had come back. Within those thoughts, you wondered how long it was until they all went away.

As soon as you got home you had to leave.

You had gotten a letter, from someone named Willy, down at the beach. So, instead of pushing yourself to the brink of death again you decide to meet him, doubting anyone in the valley could be dangerous. There were only so many people that lived here to begin with, and even if he did turn out to be dangerous or deranged, you doubted that at this moment you would put up any sort of fight. 

The walk was long, about 30 minutes from your farm to the entrance of the beach, your breaths were coming out in puffs, your chest heaving. You would need to exercise more if you were to do this often enough to make any money. Sitting at a desk all day made your stamina nonexistent, and you regretted not visiting more often in your older years. Maybe if you did you would be less tired. 

As soon as you saw the fish shop you sighed with relief, sweat had begun forming a thin sheet over your body. Your steps picked up as you approached the building that looked as old as your farmhouse, the salty smell of the ocean assaulting your nose. The sun was high overhead now, beaming directly down onto the sea making the world around you brighter. 

Hurrying, you almost head straight to the doors, wanting to escape the sun; but instead you see a man at the edge of the pier, a patchy brown hat on top of messy brown hair. He was smoking silently, eyes focused on the water below. The sound of your footsteps seemed louder than normal in your ears, the thuds echoed around you disturbing the serenity of the beach. The man turns when he hears you, tired eyes searching yours for a second before he speaks.

"Ahoy there. Heard there was a newcomer in town…good to finally meet ya." The man sounds like a stereotypical fisherman, maybe a little like a pirate. He puts out his pipe after puffing it once more, blowing the smoke away from the both of you. He rolls his shoulders, a small grimace settling over his face.

"Ah…I'm still tryin' to unwind from a month out on the salty seas… it was a big haul! I sold a lot of good fish. Finally saved enough to buy me a new rod." He smiles softly. 

"That's good…" you don't know how to respond, so you say what first came to your mind, wanting to not make the conversation stale, though you think your attempt didn't help at all. Willy moves closer to you, away from the edge of the pier. 

"Here," he hands you a fishing rod, the gift unfamiliar in your hands, "I want you to have my old fishing rod. It's important to me that the art o' fishing stays alive. And hey, maybe you'll buy somethin' from the shop once in a while."

You nod, inspecting the rod, tears kissing the corner of your eyes. It was kind of him to give you a rod for free, you didn't know how much they cost, but even an old one like this had to be expensive. "There's a good water here in the valley. All kinds o' fish."

"Thank you…I don't know how to repay you or…?"

The man shakes his head, waving you off. When you get in front of the doors to his shop, he calls out to you again. "Oh yeah. My shops back open now, so come by if you need supplies. I'll also buy anything you catch. 'If it smells, it sells'."

You can see how brightly his eyes shine when he laughs from where you are. It makes your heart ache, he was so much like a grandfather in his actions that it made you somewhat sad. "That's what my ol' Pappy used to say anyway."

You smile at him before nodding and taking off towards the beach again, ready to flop into your still unslept in bed. 

The walk home was faster, mostly because you avoided everyone and sped through the town. You could feel them looking at you, as if you were something to gawk at. And to them, you supposed you were. A fresh face in a stagnant town that rarely got new people that were staying for the long haul, a visitor that was passing through or two, but never a new resident. By the time you got home, mostly due to your dodging, your chest felt heavy and your lungs burned. You sucked in breaths as you closed the gate and walked up to your cottage. 

Now that you were inside, and not in a self sabotaging mood, you took the time to really look around. The place was practically empty, no kitchen, no living room, no bathroom. All there was was an ancient television and a twin sized bed pushed into a corner along with dusty decorations. You groaned, running a hand down your face, so this is what Robin meant when she was saying your home needed an upgrade. You now understood what she meant by crusty. 

It was a surprise your grandfather had survived as long as he did living here, what did he do to eat? How'd he take showers or poop or just live in general. Turning on the tv, you frown when you notice only a handful of channels on the tv, some of them only showing static when you switched to it. Laughing in disbelief, you turn away from the stupid thing. It was going to take a long time to get used to this.

In the middle of the room, you spot a box you had ignored before, the thing wrapped up half heartedly as a gift. Taking off the top and looking inside, you spot a small bag of seeds. There was a short letter from Lewis attached to the bag, saying it was a gift for you to get started with your farming. Obviously, you need to be able to grow a plant and care for animals to be a farmer. Sighing, you trudge outside, dragging your tools behind you. You had to do this at least, before you went to sleep for the next couple of hours. 

The farm was still messy, and over exerting yourself the day before just set you back. So, pulling your pants up and adjusting yourself, you get to work to catch up for missed time. 

Pulling weeds, cutting down trees, and smacking rocks with your pickaxe seemed to make you feel better, as if you were beating something up. Maybe a little violent, but it was helping nonetheless. Sweat drips down your forehead, thinking back to your childhood your grandfather and grandmother made this seem easier than it actually was. Even just planting the parsnips took more energy than you thought it would. 

By the time you had finished, your back ached and your stomach was growling. Raising your wrist to look at the time, you wonder if 12 was too early to go to bed. Your thoughts swirl around your head, trying to justify if you went to rest now. You tried telling yourself that you would only nap, then it devolved into thinking you could sleep for the rest of the day and all night until you had to get up in the morning; it was most likely unrealistic but the ache in your back told you to go ahead and do whatever as long as you got to sleep. 

You drag yourself inside after making sure your crops are watered, your stomach still growling loudly. Opening a suitcase, you sigh with relief that past you decided that packing your snacks and some things from your pantry was a good idea. You eat some peanut butter on crackers and take a long swig from a water bottle, throwing yourself on your bed after making sure your mess was cleaned and the rest of your crackers and peanut butter were sealed back in your suitcase. 

As you lie there, you inspect your skin. You had already begun to tan by staying out in the sun all day, and you wondered just how hot the summer was going to be if you were already dying in the sun. Maybe the clinic had some sunscreen, you had already met Maru, and doctor Harvey so going back wasn't as bad as going to the grocery store in town.

You made a mental list of all the tasks you needed to do, hoping you could put off talking to people for a little longer. All they would probably do is talk about your grandfather or look at you with pity and curiosity the entirety of your conversation. 

As you adjusted yourself to try and sleep, you imagined yourself back in your apartment in Zuzu City. You imagined life hadn't changed and you were living your old life, but in your imagination you were a much better child and grandchild than you had been in real life. You visited and were bubbly and cheery just as you were as a kid. As your eyes flutter closed, and you begin to drift off to sleep you can feel fresh, hot tears rolling down your cheeks regret settling in your chest as you begin the transition between your active daydreams to whatever dream you would have while you were sleeping. 

In the back of your mind, you just hoped the dream wouldn't be nightmares instead.

[oceanlix]

Nobody Here Can Stop Us

Pairing: Soobin x female reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 2491

Warnings: Prince AU (that makes no sense really lol), masturbation (male), begging, handjob, blowjob, switch Soobin, switch reader, Soobin comes on her face, fingering, praise, nipple play, teasing, riding, hint of a bulge kink, exhibitionism, slight degradation, slight possessiveness, unprotected sex

It’s not that Soobin is stupid, far from it actually. But the Queen had insisted as soon as he was old enough that the King appoint their second eldest child with an advisor to help him navigate the political world. The King heavily favored the crown prince, Yeonjun, and the Queen did not want her son to fall out of favor for the son of a concubine. And lucky for you, you’d been chosen for the job.

You’d been by Soobin’s side since he was thirteen, teaching him the rules and etiquette of the court. Not much older than him, the two of you essentially grew up together, of course a little faster than either of you would have liked. But at least you were in it together.

Currently, Soobin sits in his office, eyebrows drawn together as he studies a map of some mountains in the southern region. His younger brother, Beomgyu, had discovered some desirable mineral resources there and suggested an expedition to investigate the viability of mining them for the kingdom. Soobin was the deciding factor, being in charge of the reserve soldiers.

You sit on the window perch, twirling your quill absentmindedly. How long does one need to study a map, anyway? You glance towards the desk with a slight frown, boredom creeping up with each passing second.

“Have you made your decision yet?” you huff, standing up and walking over to the prince’s desk. Soobin lifts his head, the frown lines on his face smoothing out as he grins at you. You ignore the little jump in your heartbeat, waiting for his response.

“I’m not sure. The minerals might be worthwhile, but the mountain path likely hasn’t been cleared for several years and it might be dangerous to travel on. I don’t want any of the reserve soldiers to get injured unnecessarily, after all.”

You smile, proud of your prince for thinking so thoroughly through the options. He’s come a long way from when you first joined him, back when he was just a naive prince from a rich and noble family. Now he thought of all his subjects equally, worried about them like they were his own flesh and blood. He made for a good leader.

You lean against the desk beside him, reaching out to smooth down a stray hair on his head. Soobin turns his chair towards you and tugs at your hand, making you step closer until you’re right between his spread legs.

“What do you think, my dear advisor?” he whispers, resting his hands on your hips. You pretend to think about it as he pulls you into his lap, the hard press of his cock against your ass almost distracting you.

“I think you should approve the expedition,” you tell him, one hand trailing down his chest. His shirt is unbuttoned a bit due to the summer air, so he shivers at your touch. “But only allow half of the reserve soldiers to go. That way, if there are any injuries, it won’t totally wipe out the entire army.”

Soobin nuzzles his head against your stomach, sighing deeply. “I knew you’d have a solution,” he says, looking up at you like you hung the moon yourself. “My pretty and sweet advisor always knows the right answer.”

You giggle at his words as he starts to undo his trousers, pushing them down to his ankles. It’s filthy that he’s bare from the waist down inside his office, where just about anyone could walk in and see you two. But it doesn’t stop the arousal from swirling deep in your belly, especially when he wraps a hand around his cock and starts tugging it.

“Do you want some help with that?” you purr, eyes fixed on the precum dribbling from his pink tip. Soobin seems a little distracted, biting his lip as he groans out loud.

“Please,” he begs quietly, and you’re on your knees before him in a second. You push his hand away and wrap your own around him, ignoring his needy whine in favor of licking his cockhead. You take him deeper into your mouth, your hand stroking the part that doesn’t fit. Your jaw is already spread so wide you know it will ache tomorrow, but it’s a small price to pay when you get to see the prince like this.

“More,” he urges, reaching down to grab your hair. You glare up at him until he releases you, pulling off of his dick with a frown.

“Did you forget I’m in charge now?” you ask, squeezing the base of his shaft a little too roughly. He whimpers, head shaking back and forth quickly. “That’s what I thought.”

You take him back into your mouth again, all the way down your throat this time. You swallow around the prince, your hand cupping and squeezing his balls as he moans endlessly. His thighs start to tremble and you know that he’s close, so you hum around him to help him finish.

“I’m-“ he huffs with effort, hand reaching out for you but stopping himself just in time. “Gonna cum!”

You grin, pulling back off him. You jerk him fast and hard over your open mouth, and after a few seconds, hot white fluid splashes against your tongue. It also lands on your cheeks and chin, some even getting on your tunic. At least that’s white, you think to yourself.

Soobin looks down at you, fucked out expression making your panties even wetter than they already are. You stand up, licking the cum off your face and grinning.

“Come here,” he rasps, your eyebrows raising. “Please.”

You obey him for once, allowing him to untie your trousers and push them to the floor. You step out of them easily and he grabs your ass in his hands, bringing you closer. He nuzzles his face against your clothed pussy, sighing contentedly as he breathes in the scent of your arousal. You watch him carefully to see what he’ll do, not used to letting him have control like this.

“Can you sit in my lap?” the prince asks you, head tilting up to meet your eyes. He looks so innocent while asking for such a dirty thing; it makes your head spin. You nod carefully, and Soobin wastes no time removing your soaked underwear for you.

Taking your hand in his, he guides you onto his lap. The feeling of his bare cock against your folds is new; the two of you have fooled around before, but this is the first time you’ve gone this far together. He feels warm.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he tells you, moving some hair away from your forehead. The humidity is getting to you now, the fabric of your tunic sticking to your skin.

“Really?” You cock your head to the side, adjusting yourself in the prince’s lap. His groan leaves you giggling, until he reaches beneath your tunic and swipes his long fingers through your wetness. “Oh.”

Soobin snickers at your change in demeanor. “Yeah, oh. Your pussy’s been waiting too, it seems.”

You want to put him back in his place, but it’s hard to take control when he’s stroking you so good. His fingertips are slightly rough from his years of archery, but they feel nice touching you like this. You don’t want him to stop.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” he whispers, sliding his other hand up your tunic until he’s got a nipple between his fingertips. You don’t know where he learned female anatomy from, because it certainly wasn’t you, and now you’re at the mercy of whatever skills he’s picked up.

“Yes,” you agree, arching into his touch. The prince grins wickedly, another expression you aren’t used to seeing on him. You like it, though.

Soobin pulls his fingers away from your pussy, ignoring your whines. He cups a hand around the back of your neck and brings you down for a kiss, tongue pressing past your lips almost immediately. You moan into his mouth as he pinches your nipple, rolling your hips against his lap.

“Sit on it for me,” he whispers as he pulls away. You choke a bit on his words, but you waste no time in positioning yourself above his cock. He rubs the head through your wet folds, then over your clit, teasing you by dipping the tip inside before pulling back.

Getting impatient, you grab his shaft yourself and sink down onto him. The moan he lets out is guttural, and you almost worry for a second that the guards posted outside of his office have heard you.

“My advisor looks so pretty sitting on my cock,” the prince coos as he looks up at you. His hands tug at the edge of your tunic, pushing it up until he can see where he’s buried inside your cunt. “You’re so full of me, you know?”

You do know. Soobin’s cock stretches you out, more than your own fingers ever have. It’s to be expected, but it still leaves you in awe. You touch your stomach gently, feeling where his cockhead is. It makes you shudder in anticipation.

“Ride it,” he commands you, grabbing your hips. You don’t know when the dynamic changed between you, but once again you find yourself obeying his orders. You lift your hips up, leaving just the head inside you before sinking back down, a loud moan escaping your lips.

“Fuck,” you whisper, unable to resist grinding your clit against his pelvis. Soobin laughs at your desperation, but doesn’t stop you. It’s so hot to see you need him in this way, so against your normal calm and collected persona. It turns him on even more.

“You’re doing great,” he tells you, watching as you lift yourself up again. “Taking me so well.” You sink down faster this time, crying out when his cockhead hits your cervix a little too roughly.

“Oh my god,” you moan, laying your sweaty forehead against his shoulder. You ride him shallowly for a few seconds, your walls fluttering around his cock. You’re so lost in pleasure that you miss the knock on his office door, your face contorting in shock when the crown prince strolls into the room.

Soobin, to his credit, quickly spins the chair so you’re facing away from Yeonjun. Your cheeks flush as you try to scramble off his lap, but the second prince grips your hips tightly, keeping his cock buried in your cunt. Yeonjun chuckles from across the room, leaning against a bookshelf as he meets your eyes over his brother’s shoulder.

“Ah, I didn’t think you were such a slut, brother,” he teases, though you understand the words are actually meant for you. You’ve never really interacted much with the crown prince, seeing as you were Soobin’s advisor, so you’re embarrassed to find yourself dripping just from his words. Soobin notices too, smirking to himself as he feels your juices oozing around his cock.

“Maybe you should wait for a response after you knock, rather than just barging in here,” Soobin scolds him. He’s moving you slowly in his lap, but there’s no way Yeonjun doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s staring right at you; he sees every roll of your eyes as his brother fucks up into you.

It’s wrong - it’s so filthy - but it still doesn’t stop you from moaning, your eyes falling shut from the pleasure of being fucked open and watched.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Yeonjun groans, snaking a hand into his trousers. You wish you could see him stroking his cock, but you already have two of the three princes in the room offering you different kinds of pleasure. You shouldn’t get too greedy.

“You like that he’s watching us?” Soobin whispers into your ear. You can only nod, your arms loosely hanging around his neck. He’s doing all of the work now, you having slumped in his lap to watch Yeonjun. “You should give him a better show than that, baby.”

He’s not wrong, you decide, bracing yourself on his thighs. You start riding Soobin once more, but you keep your eyes locked on the crown prince, mouth watering as you notice the wet spot forming on the front of his trousers.

“Yeonjun,” you purr, too turned on to worry about the implications of dropping his title. He pushes off the bookcase and comes closer, stopping at the other side of the desk.

“Turn the chair around,” he rasps, and surprisingly, Soobin listens to him. Your tunic is still pushed up over your hips, exposing your ass to the crown prince. He sighs deeply, drinking in the view before him.

“Like what you see?” you tease, glancing over your shoulder. It’s obvious he does, judging by the hiss he lets out as he jerks his cock faster.

Soobin grabs your head and brings you in for a kiss, thrusting up into you roughly. He’s getting tired of being forgotten when he’s the one with his cock buried inside you right now. His older brother gets everything, but you’re his advisor, and right now, his cocksleeve. He won’t lose you to Yeonjun as well.

“Shit,” you hiss, clenching your pussy around the second prince’s cock. “Gonna cum if you keep that up, Soob.”

Yeonjun barks out a laugh at the pet name, but the two of you are actively ignoring him now. It’s hard to pay attention when Soobin is licking into your mouth, his fingers sliding between you to pinch your clit.

“Go ahead and cum around me,” he tells you with a smirk. “Show Yeonjun who you belong to.”

You collapse against his chest as your orgasm hits, your body trembling. It shocks you that it only took two sentences to bring you over the edge, even more so that Soobin could deliver them so well. Your pulsating walls drag the second prince over the edge as well, spilling his hot load inside of your pussy.

By the time you come down, you remember Yeonjun is in the room as well. You glance over your shoulder only to bite back a laugh; the crown prince, next in line to the throne, has come in his pants.

The older prince glowers at you. You might have found it threatening before, but now he’s just a young man that’s gotten off to you…well, getting off. Soobin hooks his chin over your shoulder and grins lopsidedly at his brother; he’s finally won against him, and it feels better than any political victory ever could.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” he grumbles, untucking his tunic to try and cover his embarrassment. When the door clicks shut behind him, Soobin plants a wet kiss on your cheek.

“My beautiful, perfect, sexy advisor,” he coos, peppering kisses all over your face. You try to squirm away, but his arms are like steel around your waist. “You’re not going anywhere yet, baby.”

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/750945582558904320/you-might-say-this-is-stereotyping-but-i-cant

first of all anon, this is so stupid i actually feel bad for you

also like the other anon said, you see jungkook with tattoos and piercings and think it is some mafia aesthetic (?) but i see him with tattoos and piercings and think its sooo queer so now what? i personally believe jungkook is a nose ring away from a neon sign popping up above his head which says QUEER

I'm gonna ramble a bit here. Disclaimer: I think judging sexuality on appearance is a bad idea. But there's some interesting things raised here.

This is a really good point about perception of aesthetic, anon. Ancient old lady opinion: When I was younger, even into my teens, piercings and tattoos were still counterculture and if you had them, you were by definition not mainstream or belonged to a lifestyle that went against convention.

My tattoos are a direct reflection of how comfortable I am with myself and that is inherently tied up in my queerness. Even though tattoos are pretty mainstream in the UK, there was still a really huge element of rejecting the expectations placed on me by family, society, work, other parents at the school, etc. Rejecting expectations, being brave enough to prioritise myself, claiming my body as my property and what I do with it is nobody else's business... It's the same mental journey I went on prior to coming out. This is not to say that straight people don't have these same thoughts! But through my personal lens, tattoos are all part of the bigger queer picture of my life.

So I think the same as you, anon. Tattoos and piercings still feel so "unconventional" to me due to upbringing and all the things I attach to it. And yes, maybe I do see it as a bit queer because of the thought processes that go into making a bold statement like that. That's my sexuality and my age talking though.

A younger heterosexual person might well look at a person with tattoos and not associate it so strongly with "outsiders"

But think about how there are "no tattoos" establishments in South Korea. What is mainstream in the West is actually not in SK. Where he is, his decision to get tattoos and piercings is still countercultural.

That doesn't equate to queer, OBVIOUSLY, but he's maybe not as down the line conformist fuckboy doing all the heterosexual things and thinking in all the mainstream ways that homophobic anon assumes.

I hope this made sense. I'm thinking out loud, really. As ever, it's just my thoughts as a queer woman.

Shallow sidenote: JK with a nose ring, help. I am weak for nose rings. (Further side note: I got mine pierced a couple of weeks ago and my god the pain? I slept through childbirth but nose piercing made me CRY.)

Anyway, in summary: WATTPAD IS BAD FOR YOU. May contain outdated notions and homophobia.

[noahtally-famous]

rewatching ridonculous race and I just came up with the wildest 'crack' thought that would prob be single-handedly genius or The Worst Thing Ever.

as usual I’m making it everyone’s problem lmao

a Dave & Keith duo team participating in the race. And their team name is ‘liked the same girl’ or smth like that idk

some extra details:

Sky definitely forced them into it as a ‘Bonding Experience’ bc of the complaining and arguing (and plus she was tired af of how annoying they are). I like to think after PI, Dave approached her and genuinely actually apologized for his actions, like he finally realized how unhinged he turned into and regretted it, and she apologized too for leading him on and not handling the situation better, and they respected the ultimate decision to not date but remained a weird combo of acquaintance-friends. there was a lot of apologizing, crying (bc of course there is), words said, and it took a while but they overcame that massive hurdle.

naturally, Keith isn’t so quick to trust the guy though, and Dave still has bad memories abt him so the tension between them still remains thick.

them arguing legit the entire time they’re on, and live to make each others lives more annoying while facepalming at the others stupidity. (they're a hit among the viewers btw, bc of course they are)

“says the girlfriend-kisser!” “for the last time, I didn’t know you two were dating or else I wouldn’t have kissed her!” “pfft. yeah that’s what you’d like to think.” “uh, yeah, I do think that. because her lips have touched yours and who knows how disgusting your lips are and where they’ve been.” “excuse me, you take that back right now!” “I don’t hear you denying it, bad kisser.” “is that the best you’ve got, Mr. Not Getting Any?” "that's not what the girl you thought liked you was thinking when she kissed me--oh, too soon?" "I will fucking murder you."

everyone else, hearing this go down: what the fuck

homoerotic tension but no one rlly knows whether that tension is due to them actually having underlying emotions other than ‘deep dislike’ or whether that’s just an add-on to their rivalry and they’re just dumb enough to say stuff with double meanings

similar to the point above, no one rlly knows whether to consider them ‘dating but doesn’t know it yet’ or simply enemies

Dwayne Sr. and Dwayne Jr. watching Pahkitew Island on the plane rides and bombarding Dave with questions abt his time there, and making fun of certain parts of the show. Keith is happy to indulge if it means making fun of Dave’s worst moments (“which are like all of them!” “at least I had guts to audition for that damn show.” “are you calling me a coward?” “congratulations. you’ve connected the dots.”)

idk whether they’d end up having a rivalry with another team or if they’re so invested in each other that no one else wants to get between that lmao

it’s funny bc they waste no time rubbing each other the wrong way, but for the sake of winning challenges they’d set aside their rivalry temporarily and work together (and ironically, they make a pretty good team). idk how they’d react if another team made fun of either of them—probably not the most positive; I feel like they’d be the type to laugh at the others misery/frustration at first, but if a certain line is crossed, intervention occurs.

I’ve this silly hc that Noah and Dave are family friends, so interactions between them and the occasional Keith ones are bound to be interesting

I literally don’t know what Keith would look like. When I was younger, I imagined him looking like a sort-of Duncan without the dyed hair (yeah, idk either). But now I’m like ‘would Sky rlly date a guy like that? she’d want to be with someone more sporty and athletic and competitive, probably.’ and now I’m stumped on trying to imagine Keith looks-wise 😭

perhaps he's a combination of the two?? bc I also can't see Sky dating the jockest jock to ever jock lmfao

they have to go through the sewage system in the prison episode, and Dave gets flashbacks from Pahkitew and he's all 'nope, not happening. I'm not touching that disgusting water, do you know how many germs and bacterias are in there?', so Keith's like 'ffs you dramatic shit' and has to carry Dave or piggy-back him until they reach the exit while Dave's alternating between clinging to him like a koala and leaning as far away from him as possible without falling off. (I'm sensing potential bonding over Dave's germaphobia and stuff).

Keith def kept up on the Pahkitew Island season so he knows exactly what Dave is talking abt when he refers to certain episodes.

The Haters/Daters love them, they're all like "those two know what's up. they're exactly like us" and Keith & Dave are like "...no we're not??" and the Haters/Daters are like "you're not dating?!"

Keith doesn't lose his shit easily, he's actually pretty chill and patient--which makes sense given in most sports, you gotta be patient. (Dave's the one who gets all emotional tbvh.) But, naturally, Dave's the only exception when it comes to the whole 'not losing shit easily' deal

"he's your boyfriend. you calm him down." "he's YOUR family friend though?! and for the last time, we're not dating!" -- a Noah and Keith interaction

[choccyhearts]

90's!Eddie Headcanons

Note: I always like imagining how Eddie would adapt with the 90's since it is lowkey very different from the 80's, so here's some random thoughts ^_^

CW:

Cut his hair around the beginning of the decade

I really couldn't tell you why my brain won't let this go, but I really believe that he would've thought that The Blair Witch Project was real (like not for a suuuper long time, but maybe before seeing it he would)

(But he would NOT have made that mistake again with Paranormal Activity in the 00's...totallyyyy...)

He prepared for Y2K "just in case"

He told the others that it was stupid and that people were all worked up over nothing

But did drag along a case of beans, beer and a first-aid kit with him to Steve's New Year's Eve party "just in case"

(He left his other favorite belongings in his van)

His precious van did sadly break down but that was okay cause he ended up just getting a new one instead :)

He refuses to not drive a van, honestly

Would maybe depart from that though if he had access to hearse

Despite being the rough around the edges metalhead he is, he would find a love for Britney Spears

Like ya know how today there's a collection of metalheads who love Carly Rae Jepsen and see her as their emotional support pop girly? That's what Britney is for him

Thought Scream was a masterpiece and forced the others to dress up as the characters with him for Halloween (you can take your guess as to who he was...)

(Stu, duh.)

Speaking of Halloween costumes, the older gang would also dress up as the Friends characters (because c'mon, these are yt ppl..) (He was Joey because he refused to be anyone else) (Yes him and Steve argued over it resulting in a coin toss to make the decision) (Steve was Ross)

He's def a Seinfeld>Friends kinda guy

He's also a Simpsons>Family Guy kinda guy

Fuckin' loves DunkAroos

Got lost at a Nirvana concert (this applies to both Rockstar!Eddie or regular Eddie)

Rockstar!Eddie and Corroded Coffin went on SNL

Eddie told Mike Myers he was hilarious but kept calling him "Michael" to be "respectful" (also cause he thought it was hilarious)

Got Adam Sandler's autograph for Steve

Isn't a fan of ICP or juggalos but can accept them from afar

(Is highkey thankful he went to high school in the 80's because otherwise he would've had some juggalos sitting at the Hellfire table)

Celebrated the beginning of his 30's with a bottle of champagne and a pack of DunkAroos

Would also mourn his 20s but not entirely

His first time using the Internet, he looked up porn

Not cause he was in the mood or anything, but just to see what was there

He's not allowed to use Steve's computer anymore

Embraced the younger ones' new phases :

Lucas styling himself after Will Smith in Fresh Prince (which btw not an Eddie hc but Lucas and Max dressed as Men in Black for Halloween on year, okay bye)

Max definitely embraced the grunge style of dress

El loving riot grrrl bands due to their boldness and unabashed expression of emotions (Eddie thinks it's badass)

The boys' love for video games surging due to history being made before their very eyes (Sonic, Crash, Super Mario 64, etc.)

Eddie gets high and watches Kevin Smith movies

Misses his long hair after watching Jay & Silent Bob :(

Likes Goosebumps books and collects them for his future children

The whole crew went to go see Space Jam expecting it to be really dumb and dopey

Everyone left with their lives changed

Forced Steve and Lucas to teach him basketball

It went exactly how you'd expect it go

Fell asleep watching Titanic at movie night

Freaked TFFF out when he got high and watched the Truman Show

Then let his fear subside and would make jokes

"Steve, move out of the way, you're blocking my good angle" *is staring at a plant pot*

Wants smoke with the Chucky doll

Tried growing out a small beard towards the end of the decade

Didn't really feel it, will try again in his 40s

Rockstar!Eddie bought Wayne a house in '95

Made sure the kitchen had lots of cupboard space

Eddie didn't cry until he was leaving after moving Wayne in

Wayne didn't cry until he started putting up picture frames of Eddie through out the years

Mechanic!Eddie saved up for a house for the two of them to rent

Either version Eddie got Wayne a black labrador

Wayne was your typical "I don't need a dog to worry about, messing up my furniture" type of man

They're attached at the hip after one day

"This Green Day isn't half bad"

Despite knowing that it isn't his first actual drink, Eddie is psyched to take Dustin out for his 21st birthday, just the two of them

Steve tracks them down, upset he wasn't the one to buy Dustin his first drink

Dustin doesn't even care as long as he isn't the one paying

This would be the decade that Eddie properly settles down with someone

Gets married early in the decade

Decides to have kids towards the end of the decade/early 00s

I'm gonna cap it here ^_^

[thatninjacat27]

For The Record

-part of a short post apocalyptic future au where almost everyone is dead and sonic is living day to day. Sonic isn’t living happily.

-This was originally going to be a small animation using the audio for that tiktok ‘for the record this is self destructive’. But I don’t really have time to draw it. I also don’t know if this would count as a song fic.

-Warnings: references to being an alcoholic, some mentions about a leg getting torn off, this is a suicide mission, it’s a bit sad. (I can’t think of anything else at the moment)

(Link above and below is just the same)

Tails walked by the multitudes of empty bottles of liquor. The piles grew in size with each passing day that Sonic stayed in Eggman’s underground bunker. He needed to go to the workshop where Sonic no doubt attempting to build a weapon.

The fox got to the open door. He could see his brother messing around with cables and having another open bottle on the table nearby, easily within the blue hedgehog grasp if he so reached. Making a decision, Tails flew towards Sonic and stayed suspended in the air behind him.

“For the record, this is self-destructive.”, Tails said he looked from behind Sonic’s shoulder to see his progress on building the weapon to kill Shadow. It looked almost close to completion.

“For the record, I’m aware of that.”, the blue hedgehog said without missing a beat. Sonic didn’t bother to look at Tails. He instead continued what he was doing and then wrote some notes on the schematics and blueprints of what looked to be a gun model.

The fox just sighed. “This wouldn’t bring anyone back, you know. This plan you have is downright suicidal. You can’t defeat Shadow in his new Super form with this gun.”, Tails tried to reason. The plan Sonic had was insane, stupid, and he was basically begging to die. He didn’t even have a backup plan in case things went south in place yet, and there wasn’t a thought about what happens if and after he somehow succeeded in this endeavor. 

“Gee Tails, I didn’t know you had so little faith in me.”, Sonic rolled his eyes. He put on a welder’s mask and began to blowtorch parts of the gun. 

“That’s not it, Sonic, and you know it. I just don’t want to see you to get hurt again. The violence that Shadow is capable of now. Your prosthetic leg is a prime example of this. Remember what he did. You guys were fighting and he tore it clean off.” The fox shuddered at the thought, while Sonic slightly trembled. The blue hedgehog had to put down his tools due to his shaking. He couldn’t afford to make a mistake this close to the end.

“It didn’t matter that he loved you. Shadow was really trying to kill you that time. It was thanks to Eggman that you even made it out alive.”, Tails continued as Sonic begun to get his body under control. “Your “former”boyfriend became a monster who has taken over the world and is more obsessed about possessing you and hur-“

“Tails,”, Sonic interrupted. He really didn’t want to hear any of this anymore. “You know what you can do to help me out around here buddy instead of trying to talk me out of this?”

“What?”, Tails asked. 

“How about you tell me where the firing pin for this particular model is and actually be helpful right now.”, the older sibling coldly recommended. 

The fox was taken back by the harshness in Sonic’s tone. He looked at the blue hedgehog’s back with sad eyes. If Tails continued to press this conversation, they wouldn’t get out of it without it evolving into a shouting contest. Sonic felt the gaze of those eyes, burning holes through his back.

“Okay.”, the fox said softly. It was softer than a whisper and difficult to hear. He sounded so dejected that it made the blue hedgehog feel guilty about his treatment towards his younger sibling. But when Sonic turned around, there was no one there.

The blue hedgehog knew he shouldn’t have felt disappointed in Tails’s disappearance or guilty about what he had said to his little brother. After all, these little encounters happened all the time after his final companion, Eggman, died from illness. But he still did. This really cemented the fact that Sonic was slowly growing crazy from being constantly alone. There was just no one else here in this bunker but him and his thoughts.

[weakheavens]

Dawn Of The Clans

- The Sun Trail

I'm going to be discussing my thoughts of the first book of DOTC here.

First things first, I had been reading Power Of Three before I started this saga and so far I found it very much boring, the cats are fighting over useless things, other than that not much has happened (haven't read the last two books of POT) so starting DOTC was a nice and refreshing change in the story line and I had been looking foward to reading about how the clans came to be.

Summary-

The cats from the Tribe of Rushing Water are having a hard winter due to the large amount of cats in the tribe and the little prey, many of them are dying until Stoneteller gets a prophetic dream of a sunny place where prey never runs out.

She tells the tribe, some want to go on the journey, others hate the idea. In the end those who want to go on the journey to the place where the sun rises may go and those who doesn't may stay.

Gray Wing's brother, Clear Sky, wants to go but he doesn't. After Gray Wing's younger brother runs away hoping to catch up with the Sun Trail cats Gray Wing makes the decision to look for him and bring him to safety in the new territory.

Cats die during the journey and Clear Sky's partner is carried away by an eagle, making him depressed.

The cat who was leading the travelling cats also passes away and Tall Shadow is asked to be the new cat to lead them.

They finally reach the new territory and set to live in the moor, exploring the place they find other cats living there, mostly hostile. Clear Sky decides he wants to leave to the forest as he likes it better there, some cats agree with him, Gray Wing is once again separated from his brother as he stays with some others in the moor.

A cat named Storm is expecting Clear Sky's kits but after seeing how hostile and manipulative he has become she leaves 'his' territory. Next time we see her she passes away and only one of her kits survives, Thunder. Clear Sky disowns him as he reminds him of Storm and Bright Stream (her other partner who died on the journey) but then Gray Wing decides to parent Thunder in the moor with the other cats.

Also forgot to mention but Clear Sky becomes really hostile towards any cat who crosses into the forest because apparently it's now his and if there's any cat in his base who doesn't follow his orders or can't cooperate exactly like he wants them to he exiles them.

Opinions-

Gray Wing- I personally really really liked him at first, I like how he thought for himself insead of doing what others told him to and how the reason he left the mountains was to make sure his little brother was ok. He was kind to the cats of the tribe and always made sure others were safe, as well as he never really got extremely angry with anyone, Clear Sky would be reminding his younger brother of how stupid his actions had been but Gray Wing just accepts that the past cannot be changed.

Once they get to the new territory he is kind to the stray cats there even if they try to be hostile towards him and tries to learn about them. What I didn't like is the way he completely ignores Turtle Tail and dismisses her feelings, every time he tries to make things alright he just makes them worse? But anyway, I just hope he isn't ruined in the next books.

Clear Sky- During the first chapters I didn't understand why everyone hated him so much... now I do. I didn't dislike him at first, sure he wasn't the best and kinda made Bright Stream join the Sun Trail thought she didn't seem to like the idea much but he was alright.

After him and Gray Wing talk and become close once again I liked him but after he leaves to the forest and begins to call the territory his... gosh.

He gets a bunch of cats to fight if anyone sets foot in the forest and kill them if needed, he doesn't let some cats leave the camp and doesn't let the cats from the moor come to visit their own family, they drive them out and call them prey stealers. Then when Jagged Peak gets hurt he claims the "medicine" cat from the moor and doesn't let him out of camp until his job is done. Once he sees Jagged Peak is "just taking space" he exiles him, he was his brother.

Not to mention how badly he treated Storm and how he didn't care she had left when she was so close to giving birth.

Also he nearly makes his guards kill his brother and when he kills one of them in self defense Clear Sky gets mad??

My overall opinion on the book is that I liked it, I like how the cats are described, Tall Shadow as being quiet but speaking smart things when she has to, Wind and Gorse are so cool and I love when they befriend the Sun Trail cats. I really liked them relationship between the travelling cats and what happens to them, I think it was a nice break from POT as I was getting a bit bored from it so yeah!

I hope Gray Wing doesn't become more annoying on the next books aoqidbqlidjdq

[nothoughtsnoya]

decided im literally never going to finish the fic this is supposed to be part of but i still really like it so. here is an excerpt wherein noya talks to his mom after briefly coming back to visit from his travels.

Yuu woke up at a godawful hour and immediately needed to go for a run. It was kind of stupid, actually, just how much he needed to get up and move, considering how brain dead the jet lag made him. But old habits die hard, and as he stumbled through the dark past boxes and half deconstructed furniture, he wondered if it wasn't the spirit of his younger self stuck in the house guiding him towards the door. 

He'd barely gotten one shoe on when his morning haze was interrupted. 

"Yuu," his mother called from the kitchen. "Yuu, come here, I want to talk to you." 

He bit back a sigh, knowing she'd somehow hear it even two rooms over, and complied. 

Nishinoya Shouko was, in one word, intense. Even at the disgustingly early hour, she sat prim and proper, her focus glued on the stacks of paper in front of her even as Yuu bounded his way into the room. She clutched a stark black mug full of equally stark black coffee. With every silent, deep sip, she never quite fully set it down. 

Yuu hoisted himself up onto the counter in one smooth motion. He knew she hated when he sat up there, and she knew he knew she hated it. But whether due to the morning’s influence or simple acceptance that this was a habit he would never break, she side eyed him but ultimately kept her mouth shut. 

Then she took one look at his face and snorted. She held the mug towards him, handle out, and asked, "Want some?" 

Yuu shrugged. He was really more of a tea guy. But he took the warm drink nonetheless, cringing when he took a sip. "Ew. Sugar in black coffee?" 

"Breakfast before breakfast," she replied, as if that explained anything. 

"Shouldn't it be all or nothing? Seems like the only thing you're doing is messing up the taste without even making it sweet." He held onto the warm mug a moment longer without drinking any. Even if it tasted gross, at least the heat felt nice against the cold morning air.

But his mother's well manicured nails tapped an impatient rhythm against the table, one-two, one-two. 

"Doesn't matter if you never liked the taste anyway," she dismissed, taking the mug back with a long sip.

Yuu kicked his legs against the counter, one-two, one-two. She glared at him. 

He ignored her judgmental stare with practiced ease. "You just totally ruined the illusion, you know that?"

"What, the illusion that coffee is good?"

"No, I knew that was a lie, I just thought, you know," he made a vague gesture at the drink, "I assumed you at least liked it if you drank it every day."

She blinked at him, once, twice. Said, decisively, "Stockholm Syndrome. And caffeine addiction." Then, before he could bother responding, "Your roots are growing in."

"Kairi said the same thing," he pointed out, taking a mental note that now two people had noticed and he should really get on that.

"You should really get on that, then," she said, her tone firm and efficient. He didn't meet her eyes as she repeated his own thoughts. Instead, he followed the subtle movement of her own white streaks, accompanied these days by gray flecks set in from age rather than genetics. He wondered if anyone other than family could tell the difference.

She took a sip of her gross black-with-sugar coffee, and he finally remembered to respond. "Yeah, yeah. Just haven't had the time to dye it recently."

"Think you'll ever go for a different color?" 

His bouncing legs paused as he took in the question. She never took much interest in his choices about his appearance, except to quip about whether he might grow out of wanting to look like a feral animal. It didn't really phase him after the first few times, though. No matter how hard his mother glared, she could never take away the electric jolt he'd felt that first time he'd really seen himself in the mirror. Hands stained lemon yellow, hair spiked up in messy chunks, brand new binder tight against his chest—that overwhelming feeling of looking right, like he could signal to the world, watch the fuck out for Nishinoya Yuu. 

But things had changed since then. The shocks had long settled into a calm buzz, a thrum of comfort as he styled his hair every morning. Faded blonde melting into white didn't seem so pressing when he had a dozen piercings and stark black ink against his skin; even less so with stubble to waffle over shaving and a voice that fell easily into baritone. None of it needed to be a statement, a warning, anymore. It was just him.

He watched the way his mom watched him: out of the corner of her eye, expectant, but not accusatory. 

Maybe she saw him now, too.  

Honest, he told her, "I dunno. Haven't thought about it much recently." He blew the streak in question away from his eyes with a soft puff of air. Even if he didn’t bother with the color, he really needed to cut it, at least. "Used to want to grow it out and dye it rainbow when I was a kid," he went on absentmindedly. 

She laughed, piercing in the half empty house. "I remember. No way in hell I was letting you do that."

Yeah, he thought bitterly, that sounds more familiar. 

At his silence, she only scanned over her papers, pursed her lips. Certainly didn't make to continue whatever this conversation was. Yuu kicked his legs against the counter, one-two, one-two…

She glared at him. 

"Okay, seriously, what's this about? I know you didn't call me in here to interrupt your morning routine just to talk about my hair."

She sighed. Took a deep breath. God damn it. He was trying not to get snippy. Things had been going okay, but now she was going to tell him he needed to come—stay—home and get a real job or get a degree or get off the damn counter, Yuu—

"I've been reading your blog." She tapped the side of the mug, looking far off and decidedly not at him. "It's fascinating. You're a good storyteller. And your photos are beautiful."

Slowly, she turned fully to face him. Directed the full force of her stare over her glasses and at him. "I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're happy out there. I just wanted you to know that."

[audiovisualrecall]

My mom's brother is such a schmuck. He's been angry since she told him that their dad made her executer of the will and the beneficiary of his account (s? Anyway theres plenty of money for each of us, her brother included, she just gets an additional amount from a separate thing as beneficiary), because her brother is a jackass who thinks because he's the one who went to law school and worked in tax law like their dad did, that means he should've been entrusted with things, and resents that his sister who was 'only' a teacher was given them.

and has decided that somehow my mom manipulated or convinced their dad to make those decisions, and has made complaints this whole time, first that she didn't immediately have the estate pay him back for paying for the funeral, even though she couldn't have done that right away, then he was angry that she bought their dad's car from the estate, and then he has kept making a fuss about how long its taking to sell the apartment, even though it wasn't sellable for most of the time due to issues with the building (flooding in the basement level caused damage to the building, no laundry, no garage access and limited street parking, and now the balconies are all fucked and not allowed to be used and the co-op has to fix everything, and the co-op board is embroiled in some stupid petty bullshit)

he doesn't care, and he's decided she has 'mismanaged' the estate, and keeps threatening fucking legal action. He thinks he can take the control of the estate from her because he's knowledgeable about law shit, because he thinks he is superior to her. He's refusing to come to the unveiling and actually told her his family would not be coming either, like he can control his adult children (tho my older cousin is a dick too anyway so who cares, but my younger cousin is her own person ffs), but anyway he's not going to come to the unveiling of his father's gravestone because he's being a little pissbaby for stupid fucking sexist elitist reasons or some shit like wtf?????

And also! She let him know that my dad is doing well and healing etc and he was like 'oh good, I can proceed with legal action now [without feeling guilty]' like literally. What the fuck.

It really really sucks bc when he wasn't being a schmuck I enjoyed spending time with him and my aunt! And he's just fucking ruined everything for stupid fucking reasons.

Also like. the reason my zayde made my mom in charge of the estate is because we ALWAYS included him in everything. He was always over for friday night dinners (since my grandma died at least, and even then we spent time with them both a lot iirc), he came with us on vacations, ma made sure he was included in things, checked on him, brought him to appointments, helped him with anything he needed, she tried to get him to do free classes at the local college for fun with her (beurocratic bs got in the way), we did birthdays together and dinners out and holidays together and we turned down invitations to our other cousins' for holidays because it would run too late for zayde to enjoy it, we went to shows and ballgames and walks and museums together, and went to services at shul together, and tossed bread in the lake together before Yom Kippur, and we never expected anything, she didn't do it for any reason except that this was her dad who she loved and wanted to see him happy and healthy and make sure he got to enjoy time with his family. He loved the early morning walks with his great-grandson when we all went on vacation together.

And her fucking useless brother barely came by, barely called, never invited his dad to come up to their place in Vermont, he would just say if he wanted to my MOM should drive their dad up! And he couldn't drive him up with them himself because the DOG needed space in the car. He didn't ever make the fucking effort, and then expected to be entrusted with their dad's estate just because uhhhh???? Stupid male entitlement???

And their dad made my mom beneficiary literally because neither of my parents made half as much $ as her brother did, we did become more upper middle class over the years but that's not where things started out, and even still there was no comparison to how well-off her brother is, and so yeah her dad felt that she needed the money from that account more than her brother did. I'm sure even if he'd made just like, us grandkids the beneficiaries if that's possible, he would still have thrown a fit. But that was my grandfather's prerogative, and it wasn't expected or asked for, and it's just. His dad would be SO fucking disappointed in him. And he doesn't fucking care.

Idk like. Just. He cried at the funeral, he won't come to the unveiling. Tbh i really think he was/is angry at himself for not visiting or spending as much time with his dad, for missing out, the same way i regret letting work prevent me from seeing my zayde before he died (i got there 10 minutes too late. I didnt visit before that because of work. I hate myself for it still. So i get that, but. Damnit) , and that's been twisted up and mixed up with his feelings of shock/betrayal about the estate/beneficiary stuff and turned ugly and turned into lashing out at my mom, because he doesn't know how to deal with his fucking feelings or admit that he could have done more and that he misses his dad. I mean I'm not a mind reader but I can't tell there's some twisted mixed up stupidity in the decision making and its frustrating tbh.

[braveryhearted]

More obscure muses ( Introduction ) series.

Fandom: Tales of Xillia.

Muse- Jude Mathis

Age 15-16 ( games )

Jude Mathis is one of the two main characters in Tales of Xillia. He is a medical student training in the royal city when he is engulfed into Milla Maxwell's adventures.

Jude is described by his mother, Ellen, as "too quick to help others." He is always concerned about the well-being of those around him, even at the cost of his own. When Milla explains to Ellen the story of how they met, she says that it sounds exactly like something he would do, since he's been like this ever since he was a young child, and he was teased and even bullied for it. Yet, even when he came home all beaten up, he would still be smiling underneath.

It is later revealed by Leia that the reason why he is so helpful is because of a desire to feel wanted, due to being home alone more often than not when he was a kid. Jude is also shown to be very curious, often getting concerned with things that have nothing to do with the situation at hand, such as when he noticed a strange girl with a doll running around near Hamil and a group of shady men chasing her and couldn't stop thinking about it. However, this way of thinking, along with his impulsive inclination to help others, earns him criticism from Alvin, who claims he has "a nasty habit of poking [his] nose where it doesn't belong," since his curiosity and decision to help Milla is exactly what made all three of them wanted criminals. Milla, on the other hand, admires him for this trait, affectionately calling him a do-gooder on several occasions.

Despite this impulsive nature, Jude is usually calm and composed, which only increases as he spends more time with Milla and the others. According to Leia, he's always been like this, and Alvin suspects that he's been "freakishly level-headed since he was born". Although he comes off as stupid and reckless at times, he is simply naive when it comes to the ways of the world. In reality, Jude is very intelligent, as not only is he an honor student in Fennmont, but he's able to come up with highly effective strategies very quickly. His tactical brilliance is enough to impress both Alvin and Milla, with the latter noting that few people can think as fast as he can. He is a very diligent student in Fennmont, and was offered an opportunity to become an apprentice medical doctor after graduation by Professor Haus.

Jude is also shown to be a pacifist, as he frequently makes remarks after or outside of battle that suggest he is against fighting, which makes sense given that he's been trained as a doctor. He also starts off frightened every time he gets into a fight, something he admits to Milla and Alvin, but puts aside that fear since he knows that it's either him or his enemies. By the time the group reaches Kanabalar, however, Jude's gotten so used to fighting that it feels almost like second nature, and Alvin even claims that he'd do well as a mercenary, to the objections of everyone else in the party.

Jude is also shown to be a good judge of character, as he is easily able to pick up on the hints to Alvin's shady nature and guessed correctly that he isn't the kind of person to help people without expecting anything in return, like he and Milla are.

Jude is also a very dedicated person; despite his young age, he follows Milla in the hopes that he may be of some use to her. He seems to have gotten braver since he met her, as he gained the courage to stand up to his father Derrick, something he was never able to do when he was younger. He is also a great friend to all his companions, being both insightful and forgiving, especially to Alvin.

[hmt5u]

The Labyrinth - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Etwin!

want nicer typography? - read it on my website

I was born early morning on Varsday, the 34th day of Lapis, in a small village called Allunis, about 3 days ride from Darn.

At the time of my birth, my father had been out with a small group of the villagers hunting a herd of Horned Pigs that had been getting into the crops for the last few months. This wasn’t a particularly rare occurrence, but in the last few months the attacks had become more frequent, and more fierce, until the decision was made we were due for a culling.

Our village, you see, was pushed up against a large and particularly dense forest. And in that forest there was what once, long ago, had been the entrance to a Labyrinth. The entrance itself had collapsed well before the village had been established, but there was still enough residual magical energy that emanated from what lay beneath to occasionally attract monsters like the Horned Pigs. They would start poking around with the intention of making the forest their home. Sooner or later they would get confident enough to start encroaching on the farms. Whenever this started getting out of hand, the villagers would round up a group of the burliest farm workers, and march into the forest.

The hunters had been out for a few days already at this point, and not having had much luck were itching to return home to rest, when by sheer blind luck they’d finally come across the Horned Pig den. Even though they were exhausted and well beyond their limits, they were in luck: the pigs were all asleep inside. They snuck into the den and killed a dozen of the monsters while they were sleeping.

By the time the men came back to the village, lugging the carcasses back on improvised sleds cut from tree branches, I had already been born for a few days. Since my arrival coincided more or less with the discovery of the den of monsters that had been plaguing the village, it was decided I should be named after that episode somehow.

My father’s first suggestion had naturally been to name me Horned Pig. This apparently sparked an instant barrage against him from my mother and sisters. Unfortunately, my father had always been obstinate, so the complaints only made him dig his heels in.

“The boy will be called Horned Pig!” He stamped his foot and crossed his arms.

To which my mother replied, “do you honestly want to wander out into the village yelling out Horned Pig! Horned Pig! Every time your son wanders off? People are going to think you’re looking for a lost pet! We’ll be a laughingstock!”

“If I say the boy will be Horned Pig, then the boy will be Horned Pig! And not another word!”

Fortunately, once cooler heads prevailed, there were more words, and this is how I came to be called Etwin.

For most of my youth, I thought I’d dodged a nest of hornets on that one. As it happened, that name would come back to haunt me. In the old language, the one my parents were familiar with, my name translates out to something like ‘bountiful victory’. I would not discover until much later that there was an even older meaning from an even older tongue meaning ‘victory achieved through great sacrifice’.

This wasn’t common knowledge where I came from, and so nobody was able to point out the irony when, a few weeks later, the Horned Pigs raided our village again, seeking revenge for their destroyed den.

This time they weren’t messing around, either. They didn’t just come in small waves, but called in their big brother, a particularly angry and dangerous Horned Boar. I suppose that no matter the species, all kids think alike: if you get beaten down, come back with some tougher, older kids to take care of your mess. I can almost imagine them standing behind that giant boar, sneering at our village.

Anyway, the pigs raided again and again, and even caused a few injuries as some younger, more stupid men tried to take on the boar.

The problem was that on the surface, a Horned Boar doesn’t look like much more than a bigger version of a Horned Pig. If you’d never really dealt with one before you might assume it was little more than a slightly hardier version of the smaller one. But as those young men discovered soon enough, this kind of thinking is entirely off track.

Horned Boars aren’t just Horned Pigs that have been around long enough to get bigger. They’re the evolved form of the weaker species. They’re not just physically larger, they’re also much smarter. And they’re not just a little tougher, either. A Horned Boar’s hide is so thick that it pushes away blades like a steel armor, and its tusks are powerful enough to launch a fully loaded wagon straight into the air. And finally, not to put too fine a point on it, but these things are big. A regular Horned Pig is already large, but no larger than a large dog at best. A Horned Boar could easily carry a few people on its back and have room to spare for cargo. They’d make great pack animals if they weren’t also incredibly aggressive and territorial.

For a whole month the village was plagued on and off by this giant monster and its underlings. They would peer at us from the edges of the forest, then bound out and destroy our property and crops the moment our backs were turned.

After the boar fatally mauled one of the farmworkers keeping watch at night, the village finally decided to call for help. See? Pigs aren’t the only ones who can call on their older brothers. We sent a messenger to Darn.

Allunis was a small village, and there were only a dozen or so families living there, maybe a hundred people all told when you factored in the workers. But there was a lot of farmland, and we generated a lot of food. Seven in ten grains worth of everything we produced or gathered went straight to Darn, both as tax and as payment for the lease of the land.

It sounds like a lot, but it isn’t like we needed a lot to actually eat ourselves, and in return for all that food we were entitled to protection by the small army stationed there. Darn wasn’t about to let the pigs destroy everything or they’d potentially face shortages over winter. We might not be a huge center of trade, but we did account for a noticeable percentage of their overall food stores.

So, a few nervous weeks later, there was a buzz of excitement as the lookout caught sight of a city standard flapping in the wind on the outskirts of the village. The excitement soon fizzled out as the villagers saw what Darn had actually sent.

Instead of a regiment of spear wielding soldiers, only five people rode back into town, including the messenger we’d sent in the first place. One older gentleman in well-worn leather armor, and three recruits trailing behind in an otherwise empty wagon.

My father, who had for some reason unbeknownst to anybody else taken it upon himself to be the town’s representative in this matter, stormed up to them almost before they were even properly inside the village.

“What’s the meaning of this? Where are the rest of you?” Or something like that.

The older gentleman had looked at him with what I can only imagine was an overwhelmingly tired expression, and replied, “what? Who are you?” Or something like that.

“Are you all that Darn sent to deal with the problem?” My father demanded a second time.

The other soldiers were starting to buzz at this point and one of them stepped forward.

“Hey, watch your mouth, bumpkin! Do you know who you’re tal—“

But the older gentleman had held up one hand and cut the recruit off.

“He probably doesn’t know who I am.” Then to my father he bowed low and said, “my name is Bertrand Nightowl. I am in the employ of Darn just now, and when they heard of your troubles, my liege dispatched me right away.”

“Just you? What can one man do against that Devil?”

“There’s a Devil here?” Bertrand looked genuinely confused.

“The pig! The Horned Boar!”

“Oh,” Bertrand nodded his head. “That’s a relief. If it was an actual Devil I might have had to go back and get some help.”

Through this exchange, my father’s face had been growing increasingly redder.

“How dare you take this situation so lightly! People have died here trying to take down that… monster! What is that old fool thinking sending an old man to deal with this!”

Bertrand had frowned at that and said levelly, “it’s precisely because people are dying that my liege sent me. There will be no more deaths in this village from the Horned Boar, or it’s brood. You have my word on that. And I’d ask you to be a little more pleasant in your choice of words. Do not take the Count of Darn for a fool.”

My father threw his hands in the air and stormed off. From where he was standing he was the one being taken for a fool.

The soldiers who had come with Bertrand looked furious at the exchange, but the older man calmed them down with a smile and a wave of his hand. “Now now, not much we can do about that. You didn’t sign up as soldiers to have everybody love you, and neither did I.” He looked around expectantly at the villagers still standing there gawking. “That said, we would appreciate it if somebody could tell us a little more about the situation.”

The soldiers set up a little camp right there in the middle of the village, and my father started fuming about how they were going to have to take care of the Horned Boar themselves. Just as soon as it showed up again. Which as it happens was that very night.

Being that my father had made such a big deal about the Bertrand, he started patrolling the outskirts of the village as soon as it got dark. He strapped his sword to his belt, found himself the longest pitchfork he could find, and started marching from one corner of the town square to the other, much to the increasing annoyance of the soldiers.

After a long night of uneventful marching, as my father was about ready to sneak off back to bed, it finally happened. The giant Horned Boar made an appearance.

Like a dark black bolt from the forest, it hurdled into the village, bearing its tusks, and that single gnarled horn atop its head, aimed straight at my father. Maybe because he was already tired from marching around with a pitchfork, but more probably because he was an idiot, my father froze and stared as the Horned Boar raced towards him.

But just before those tusks ripped into him, there was a sound like a thunderclap, and then a tremendous rush of wind. Bertrand, who had been sitting patiently at the fire drinking herbal tea, flew past my father like an arrow. There was a ringing chime, and then before my idiot father could fully process what had happened, the old man was standing where the body of the Horned Boar had become separate from its head, which rolled along the ground until it stared up at my father with lifeless eyes.

I think at this point in the story, my father could have done an number of things that would have cemented him in the permanent role of bumbling villain. But to his credit, he immediately tossed his pitchfork aside and dropped onto his knees in front of Bertrand, prostrating himself in front of the older man.

“I’m sorry! I was wrong! You’ve saved me! You’ve saved the village!”

My father was immensely proud, and often stupendously stubborn. But he was also grown up enough to know when he’d been entirely wrong, and he wasn’t going to let his pride get in the way of settings things straight.

And to Bertrand’s credit, while he might have chosen that moment to lay into my father, he didn’t. Instead he calmly put his sword away, then knelt down and dropped one hand on his shoulder.

“It’s alright. It’s not a bad thing to be passionate about the place you live. Come on, get back to your feet. With the Boar gone I don’t think the Pigs will be back any time soon.”

And so, the Horned Boar that had been terrorizing our village was dispatched. By Bertrand Nightowl, in less than a second. The soldiers who had come with him, as it happened, mostly earned their pay by loading the boar onto the wagon they’d come on.

The next day, my father rallied the village into a celebration. In a complete reversal of what had happened when the soldiers had arrived, the villagers were now tripping over themselves to shake hands or offer up their children. Bertrand, though obviously pleased with the outcome, was not entirely at ease.

“Why would something like a Horned Boar even be around here?”

“That’s the fault of the old Labyrinth entrance, isn’t it? It’s been sealed over since forever, but we’ve always had monsters come through now and then,” my father explained.

“But as large as that boar?” Bertrand insisted. “Has there ever been anything like that?”

“Not that I can remember,” my father shrugged, and the consensus about the villagers gathered around was that they couldn’t remember either.

Bertrand looked up at the sun, which was only starting to crawl to the middle of the sky, then called over one of the soldiers, who was at that moment politely trying to talk her way out of an offer of marriage to one of the town’s many sons, and was no doubt glad for the excuse to leave the family and rush to her commander’s side. To my father, Bertrand said, “this is Fynnis. Get somebody to take her to this entrance. If anything happens, let her take care of it.”

My father had looked at Fynnis, who back then barely looked like she was in double digits, but apparently he had learned not to judge packages by their outside appearances. Rather than lump the work on anybody else, he volunteered to do it himself. The two of them had packed a few provisions, and left on foot before the hour was out.

The entrance to the Labyrinth was not too far off, just half a day’s hike, but far out enough they had planned to make their way out, camp, then return in the morning.

And yet, they returned that very night, Fynnis looking like she’d seen a ghost, and my father obviously disturbed whatever she’d explained to him on the way back.

“What is it? What did you find?” Bertrand demanded.

Fynnis had looked him in the eye and said in a trembling voice, “I understand why there are more powerful monsters about now. It’s the entrance to the labyrinth. It’s not sealed at all. It’s opened.”

And so went the first three months of my life.