#dude well dressed is mary (if youre confused)

[billi-mausi]

[angel-gone-dark]

Kyle x Coquette girlie pretty please with sugar on top. 🤭

Kyle x Coquette!F!Reader

ok so like. i went off here. um, hope you like it bestie LMAO

CWs: unprotected sex, reader is a little bit of a shit, maybe a lil rough?

SMUT UNDER CUT. MDNI.

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Kyle raised a brow at his friends in the hallway, who were all in various states of confusion. 

“What the hell are you all staring at?” He snipped, and Cartman pointed across the hall.

“Dude, look at her outfit. I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

Kyle looked over at the girl who had been pointed out. She was surrounded by the other girls, talking and laughing. He was entranced with the way she moved, flipping her hair over her shoulder. He’d never seen someone dress the way she did, her outfit consisting of white lace and pink bows. The mary janes on her feet clicked against the tiles any time she shuffled her pose. He swallowed, forcing his eyes back onto his friends. 

“Yeah? What, uh, what about it?” He asked.

Cartman cocked his head to the side, “What is she even going for?”

“Who cares, it works,” Kenny grinned. “She looks fucking hot.”

Kyle couldn’t help but agree. Her skirt was short over her tights, shirt showing off the smooth skin of her shoulders. He couldn’t help but shiver at the thought of it pressed against him, especially the skin on her chest and thighs. He had to take some deep breaths, attempting to force his boner down. Kyle was saved, literally, by the bell. He dashed off to his class, trying his hardest to ignore the pretty girl- and the bewildered cries of his friends.

୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧

The ginger slid his fingers through his curls, squinting down at his textbooks in frustration. He jotted down notes, rereading them at least 5 times over to make sure they made sense. He jumped, looking up with wide eyes when he was joined at the table… by the girl he was looking at earlier. You.

“Uh, hey,” he greeted. “Do you need something?”

“Yeah, I hear you’re a really good tutor. Can I get you to look over my work quickly?” You batted your lashes at him and he was suddenly extremely glad he was sitting down. 

“Yeah, yes of course,” He nodded, taking your notebook from you to glance over your notes. “This looks really good, but I think you have an error right here.”

You hummed, nodding. You contorted your face into your cutest pout, absolutely indulging in his eyes on you. 

“I don’t understand,” you huffed, moving your chair closer to him and pressing your chest up against his arm. 

He stammered trying to muster a reply, “W-well, uh, here. Look at the way I broke it down in my notes.”

Throughout his whole ‘tutoring’ thing, you acted your absolute cutest. If you were being entirely honest, you’d had your eyes on him from the moment you saw him. You were heavily repressing the urge to jump his bones in the very public library.

“You know, I think you should come to my house after school. I could use some more help,” you suggested, leaning further into him. 

His face was tinged deep with a blush that went from the tops of his ears down, down… you gnawed your lip thinking how far it reached. 

“Y-yeah. Okay,” he gave in. “Where do you…”

You interrupted him, “Meet me after school. We’ll walk together, handsome.”

He gaped as you retreated from the library, your little date secure. 

୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧

You waited for Kyle near the school’s main entrance, books clutched close to your chest. Your sickly sweet smile returned as he approached, and you gave him that innocent look that you knew would drive him nuts.

“Hi, Kyle,” you had put on your most charming voice. “Thanks for walking me home and helping me with homework.”

“No problem,” he smiled and it nearly took you out. “Can you scooch over? I’d rather be the one walking on the outside of the sidewalk.”

Oh, he was going to be the death of you. The walk to your house was mostly quiet, Kyle seeming content with the silence.

You opened your door, gesturing for him to follow you, and led him all the way up to your room. You sat pretty on your bed, tilting your head at him. He glanced around, trying to avoid your hungry gaze draping down him. You sighed gently, combing your fingers up your body to untie the ribbon holding your hair in its graceful ponytail. He sat in your desk chair, moving his textbook over his lap.

You stood, waltzing right on over and placing your hand over the thick book between you and heaven.

“Hiding something?” You teased, pressing down on it. 

He grabbed your wrist in his hand, speaking through grit teeth, “Stop it.” 

“Or what?” You taunted. He had had enough of your attitude. 

Kyle stood, grabbed you by the hips, and tossed you onto the mattress. He leaned over you, voice strained and hands gripping the sheets. 

“You’re making it extremely difficult for me to stay decent, do you know that? You asked me to help you study, and here I am trying, and you’re giving me those goddamn eyes,” he rambled, more frustrated than you had expected. “I can’t tell if you’re giving me permission to touch you like I want to.”

“Do it.”

As soon as he had your permission he was ravishing your lips with his, his hands moving to squeeze eagerly at your chest as he practically shoved his tongue down your throat. 

“You’re so fucking pretty, honey,” he breathed, face dipping to nip at your neck. “Why can’t you be this good all the time, hm?” 

You groaned as his lips moved downwards, and he left purpley blue hickeys on your skin. Those would be hard to cover, and you would have been angrier if one of his hands hadn’t moved under your skirt to stroke your slit through your tights and panties.

“Sorry about this, but the damn things are in the way.” He huffed, ripping a hole directly in the crotch of your tights.

As you made a move to protest, his deft fingers moved your panties to the side, thumb rolling over your clit and index plunging into you. You gasped, back arching under his touch as he stretched you out, adding his middle finger as well.

“Kyle, please.” You whined.

“Please what, pretty? Use your manners.” 

“Please just fuck me.” 

He chuckled, fingers curling inside of you teasingly, “Since you asked so nicely.”

You whimpered at how empty you felt as he retracted his fingers to undo his belt and jeans, leaning up on your elbows to watch. As he pulled his cock out of his boxers, you couldn’t help but salivate. He was thick, and wet, and blushing an angry pink at the tip. It twitched as he touched it to glide it against your slit, making you moan.

He was eager, too eager to properly undress either of you. All he did was flip your skirt up as he sunk into you, his jaw hanging open as he allowed you to adjust. 

“Shit, you’re tight,” he grunted, rolling his hips harshly into yours. “Atta girl, you can take it. C’mere.”

He pressed his lips on yours again as he began to move, pace quickly rising from the simple grind of his hips to roughly pound into your cunt. Your eyes fell shut, hands clawing at your cute pink bedspread. 

“K-Kyle, fuck.” You heaved, hips bucking up into his.

“Such a dirty mouth on you, gorgeous…” He smirked down at you, thumb moving back to roll over your clit. “Do you want me to make you cum on my cock?”

“Please, please, I need it, Kyle.” You begged, all sense of dignity out the window as he plunged in and out of you with wet slaps.

“Good girl. Such a good girl,” he groaned, increasing the pressure of his tight little circles. “So cute f’me.”

His cock twitched inside you, and he dropped his drooling mouth to your neck again, biting down hard before whispering in your ear.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, honey, you can take it. Fuck.”

You couldn’t hold it any longer, the tight coil that rested in your abdomen snapping suddenly as you came with a cry. You gripped him so tight he could barely move as he ground his hips down into you, his release not far behind, spilling warmth inside of you.

“Shit,” he cursed, gently pulling himself from your hole. “If you look this good with my cum dripping out of you we might be here for a while.”

୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧

he owes reader a pair of tights!!!!

word count: 1411

[luvsymai]

FAKE BOYFRIEND ; Shoto Todoroki

Chapter 6. PERVERT RADAR IS ON!

Genre: Romance, fluff

Warnings: Uncomfortable situation on the train.

<- Series

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___________________________________

You looked at yourself in the mirror, perfectly content and satisfied with how you looked.

You’re wearing a white frilly dress, it has off-shoulder silky, wide straps and the top is kind of like a corset. The dress has tiny pink rose patterns on it, basically a floral print, and you paired your outfit with a small little pearl choker.

Your hair was half up, half down. There was a cute baby pink bow in your hair. You touched up your make up a bit, it wasn’t much. You were going for a no make up-make up look.

Once you were done, you looked at the mirror one last time before putting the foods inside the basket, and two tumblers which were red and white. You didn’t mean to match the color of your tumblers to Todoroki’s hair, but it was all you had left.

You quickly brought out your phone, and sent a text to Todoroki, telling him that he can come to your dorm now. He immediately texted back a few seconds later, which he replied with a simple ‘Okay.’

You set the basket down on the floor, before you put your shoes on. They were cute, black Mary Jane shoes. After you wore your shoes, you heard a knock on your door.

You quickly stood up and fixed your hair, before getting ahold of the basket and opened the door. There stood Todoroki, who was in casual clothes; he was wearing a white collared shirt, paired with a dark blue sweater and baggy beige pants. He was carrying a checkered picnic blanket with a handle on one hand, and on his shoulder was a black sling bag.

“Good morning, (Last name)…” He greeted.

Hey lol.

Was what you internally thought as you analysed Todoroki and his outfit.

You were shamelessly checking him out, which made him cough. You forgot that he was actually in front of you.

Your eyes quickly traveled back to his own gaze, and his expression was unreadable again.

“Uh, do I look bad…?” He had asked.

“N-No! You look better dressed than me, if I’m being honest.” You shook his question off. He really does look attractive.

“Oh? But you look attractive to me, though…” He looked confused at what you said, and was straight up honest with his compliment, which made your cheeks heat up.

“Thank you… um, let’s go now?” You changed the topic, before you noticed that he also brought a picnic basket in his other hand. “Wait, you also prepared food?”

“Well, yeah… I didn’t want to go empty-handed.” He explained.

“Oh, but you didn’t have to!”

“I wanted to, so…”

“Alright, then shall we go now?” You asked, making him nod.

You made sure to lock the door of your room first, before leaving with him. On your way outside, you had met with Mina, Kirishima, and Bakugo. It was common to see the three of them together.

“Oh wow, where are the lovebirds going, huh? On a date, perhaps?” Mina went to the two of you, to which Kirishima followed, and bakugo trailed behind him with a usual scowl on his face.

“Mhm! We are.” You replied, enthusiastically.

“Oh, Todoroki, what’s up bro,” Kirishima continued. “Did you know that…”

“What?” Todoroki responded, curiously.

“That i ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends,” He grinned, doing gestures with his hands. Mina and I burst out of laughter while Todoroki was confused, and Bakugo only cringed.

“That meme’s already dead, dude,” I commented.

“Dead as hell.” Mina added.

“I’m going back to the dorms. Bye.” Bakugo walked past us as he couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Well, we’ll go now, too! We wouldn’t want to mess up your date, bye!” Mina grabbed Kirishima forcefully, and left.

Silence enveloped the two of you, with only the vague sounds of footsteps of the three of them leaving that faded after awhile.

“…What did Kirishima mean by two pretty best friends?” Todoroki questioned, breaking the silence between the two of you.

“Oh, well… It’s an inside joke.” You started to explain as you two started walking. He listened attentively to your explanation even though it was just complete nonsense.

“Alright. Is it okay if we take the train on the way?” Todoroki asked once you finished yapping explaining.

“Yeah, it’s fine!” You assured him.

Once the two of you got inside the train, there were only a few people as it was the weekend, so you two were able to find some available seats. You fixed your dress as you sat, while he took the seat beside yours. You placed the basket on your lap, while he placed his next to him. The doors of the train closed, and started to take off after a few minutes.

“How long until we get there?” He asked.

“About…” You brought out your phone, and checked the location of the park. “20 minutes or so, i guess?”

“Okay.” He relaxed on his seat, making himself comfortable as he spread his legs a bit wider.

You envied Todoroki, since he could spread his legs freely, while you couldn’t as you were wearing a dress.

After awhile, a random stranger went in front of you and stood by, holding on to the train handle. You didn’t pay attention to him, but when he brought out his phone, you felt uncomfortable.

You felt like he was taking a picture of your thighs, so you pulled down your dress, but it didn’t do much since your thighs were still showing even though your basket also partly covered your thighs.

Todoroki glanced at you and the random man in front of you. He noticed your discomfort and suddenly removed his sweater, which made you snap out of your daze.

“Here.” He handed his sweater to you.

“Thank you…” You accepted his sweater gratefully, and covered your lap with it after putting your basket next to his. Once you were done, he stood up and went in front of you with his back facing you, you saw him whispering something next to the guy’s ear as he put his hands in his pocket.

“O-Okay! I will, I’m sorry!” The man nodded profusely, and left to go somewhere else.

Once he made sure that the stranger went far away from you, he sat next to you again, casually, like nothing happened.

“What did you say to that poor man?” You asked out of curiosity.

“Well, I just threatened him. That’s all.” He said, like it was nothing.

“O-Oh?” You didn’t bother asking him any more questions, scared to know what he said.

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Taglist: @eempxth @1ovesiick @meikoo @serxndipity-ipity-blog @visual-freak @h3artz4soph @flvr4ane @whoisgami @poemzcheng

[callsignbaphomet]

I really don't give a shit about your "stance" on TikTok. Tumblr is no better. At all.

This is the site/app famous for the endless chocolate hack, chocolate bird, "omg elephants think we're cute", disease with the purple eyes and no hair, people confusing a macro shot of a fruit with the inside of a vagina, "if you don't rb this we can't be friends", people sending death threats/hate to artists because they don't "draw enough diverse bodies". Puta, shut the fuck up. This site is a mess too.

On to the point. This whole blockout 2024 thing is fucking hilarious and it's about goddamn time people stopped worshipping celebrities, famous jackasses and influencers. It's even more hilarious to see said celebrities, famous people and influencers lose their collective shit and NOW they're talking about Palestine, Congo and Haiti as well as other countries going through a humanitarian crisis. Like, oh sure, now that y'all are getting unfollowed and blocked by people y'all wanna acknowledge these people.

Absolutely loving people in TikTok stitching their little apology videos and telling 'em to fuck off and that they're still blocked lol

Dude, Mila Cunnis (however the fuck you spell her name) and Ashton Kutcher made a video with a "shitty" part of their house as a backdrop crying about them being just like everyone else, that Haley Baley bitch or however you spell her name crying over her Marie Antoinette dress and using the "Let them eat cake" sound at the Met Gala bullshit thing and how she's so sorry but people are pushing back and saying how tone deaf it was when there's millions of people in Congo and Palestine starving to death.

Like, I love all of it. Love what these people are doing and how it's making celebrities lose their shit. We as a society shoulda done that shit years ago.

Also people as a whole aren't talking too much about Congo. Only place I keep seeing it pop up is TT.

[pettyshippen]

This Just In; I’m Fried and Continuing My Libertys Kids Marathon

Across the Delaware

Ah yes, the one with the boats.

Ffs can’t you just draw her in a robe or sum

They’re wearing Snuggies

Bro is done and I can’r blame him

I’m sorry Sarah but your snuggie looks like it was skinned from the scrotom of a giant.

Scrotom Snuggie

We’re gonna ruin the Christmas party

Office Christmas Party with the LK characters.

Those beans?

How colonial kids had lunch

Dr. Franklin came to France to fuck French girls

“I just came here to fuck French harlots.”

Washington be strategizing

Hey guys we’re going to war just trust me

Is this dude gonna die

And there they go across a frozen river

The Hessians have no idea.

Oh fuck he fell out.

James you’re a hero. An Orlando Bloom dream boy.

These dudes are SLOSHED

This reminds of of walking through a snowy village

Sarahs got that gentle touch

They’re still wearing their hats but not their uniforms? 😂 Now I can’t help but to think of Hessians attacking while wearing only their hats.

Dude didn’t read his text messages.

Yay ya’ll finally won something

I feel like Sarah should be wearing a fur hood and a wool dress here. And muffs.

Sarah praising Washington shows she’s not biased toward Britain so she’s not a biggot.

An American in Paris

This episode made me underestimate how horrific smallpox actually was.

Google it if you don’t have a weak stomach, but dudes

Smallpox is no joke, thank you science for vaccines.

I’ve never even gotten chicken pox

I used to think chicken pox was something that was supposed to happen to every kid and was confused when I never had it. Well you got your proof there Ben

Henry wants to go to the ball. Moses is like the evil stepmother saying no.

French people dress funny

I love Sarahs friendship with Abigail Adams

Oh hey look there’s Hamilton THAT CHEATING PIG

WHY DO WE NEED A SCENE OF BEN TAKING A FUCKING BATH!?

AND THERE ARE OTHER MEN IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIM

Ingest mercury!? Like fuck

Sarah will volunteer for anything even catching a life threatening illness

We already know this because of the musical

“We gentlemen of low birth.” Ah, so that’s why they click.

Oh, balls.

Bens here so the parties officially begun.

Where is the king. Where’s Marie Antionette?

She could be getting guillotined in front of Henri and he’d be eating strudel while he watched.

Uh oh she’s coughing

That faint wasn’t very convincing

There should be bumps all over her skin

The doctor said ‘Yeah, she might die. Bye’

Arnold has a tavern? Is it like Gastons Tavern?

Looks like he came to get his portrait done too.

What kind of trip is this. They’re trying way too hard to make it freighting

But awwwwww here comes her dad

This scene could have you think that she’s dying and going to Heaven if her father wasn’t alive

And then she finally gets to go on a walk with her father.

Where is Martha? Don’t talk about her if you’re not going to bring her out.

They brought back the sexy doctor.

“Get vaccinated James” quoth Hamilton

I feel like modern day Abigail Adams would be a healthcare worker

[daphnebowen]

hsmtmts season four episode four

Zac efron in baywatch is CRAZY BRO

richard Bowen: the French fry and the funnel cake

why does Mike suck at shopping? How do you buy cooking oil instead of tanning oil??? How do you do that???

HOW DOES RICHARD NOT KNOW MARY POPPINS ON SIGHT COME ON NOW Gina needs to educate him BADLY

”Ricky and Gina are just friends” yes Mike. Thank you for your input.

five nights in a row?!?!?!?!?!?

ricky is ranting to miss Jenn and Mike is crazy

MAKE GOOD CHOICES??? NO PROMISES??? What is he planning on doing tonight?!?!?!?

this song is really disturbing but also an absolute bop

spooky indeed…

okay I totally thought Ashlyn was going as ms Darbus too!!!!!! I never would have gotten Eleanor roosevelt??

”for the low low price of one of my cats for the day. That’s fine right?” No. No it’s not.

BATMANNNN I WANNA SEE JOSH DRESSED UP LIKE BATMANNN

” WOW YOU LOOK GREAT!!!”

”let’s get this starty parted!!!!!!!!! Nope wait let me come in again”

”Bowen as baywatch???” Honey you’re not the only one who’s confused this is too hilarious

“I’m scared 😟”

HANDSOME MR MAZARRA IS CRAZY

AND KOURTNEY JUST BLOWS RIGHT BY IT AS IF HER MOM DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AHAHAH

again, ten reasons why kourtneys mom is the best parent

”wait. You think mr mazarra is HANDSOME?!”

“dude. Can’t say that.”

mike. Mike Mike Mike. Why would you only get one bag of candy on halloween??? Have you never had halloween before???

the fact that Mack knows EVERYONES NAMES except for Ricky’s that seems blatant right there tbh like how does he know jets and not Ricky’s???

”g-force”

”wow guy! The one who almost ruined the take!” “Wow.” “Yeah, like that!” Ricky is so over Mack I swear

“oh good, spark is here.” “His name is mark and you know this” they said with fake smiles and wide eyes

”sister slayed the remodel” “indeed she did”

”you got it… buddy” the most unconvincing thumbs up ever!

gina trying to hide her mark and spark poster board but it keeps bouncing back PKEASE DONT BE FORESHADOWING

kourtney is SLAYING

Ricky mocking jet is DEFINITELY josh “gotta play it cool tonight bro”

”call. 9. 1. 1.” YES HELP KOURT NEEDS A COSTUME

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA RICKY SPITTING IN MACKS DRINK I CANT THE MOST OUT OF POCKET THING HE HAS EVER DONE seriously though I would literally do the same

”iS tHaT fAbRiC?”

”jetty’s got a cruuush!”

only candy, Michael? Omg he’s so dumbbbb it’s giving “its only a song” “a song can mean everything”

he got her a bottle cap?? Tacky.

he’s a little bit too full of himself.

asking “who is it “ ON HALLOWEEN BRUH like it’s definitely not gonna be little kids looking for candy which, by the way, you don’t have! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I wanna be called “cutie” :(

“bestie of the week” so degrading

omg this is so chaotic I can’t even Dani is like confronting Ricky about his costume and Gina is so confused and Ricky isn’t sure what to say… this is messy yall

RICKY JUMPING INTO GINAS ARMS AWW

omg Maddox is dying

“AS A FRIENDDDD” girl just admit it already she’s so shook

Mad and mad are… bad YES THEY ARE MADLYN FOR LIFE

NO SEBLOS IS NOT OVER FIGHT ME CARLOS

oh crap Mack why you have to go and say things like that

Ricky is so over it lmao the whole time Dani is talking he’s like “shut up shut up shut up” POOR GINA THOUGH

“Troy and Gabriella are characters, not a couple!!” - Kourtney

ricky: “well…”

”WHAAAAT???” The excited squeal is literally me every time something rina-y happens ♥️

the way Mack was like oh shiitake mushrooms and Dani’s look of astonishment - no, you two will not be cheating on each other with the best couple in history TODAY 😝

jet is a VIBE BRO- “I’m so glad this is out in the open, it was getting exhausting” honestly SAME

oh no. Gina’s mom. (She doesn’t deserve a name)

buddies. Always a bad sign 😳

richard just got friend zoned after him and Gina admitted they were a couple in front of all their friends. Oof. Can’t say I don’t blame him for running

”I like to dress up as Mary poppins and you like to give over the counter pharmaceuticals to children.” Yeah Jenn that’s probably a bad sign…

PREACH MISS JENN PREACH YOU AND MAZZY ARE WAY BETTER I think

i agree mike and miss Jenn got together way too soon after the divorce it was like BAM and idk how to feel about it

maddox’s hair looks so cute curly!!

lowkey wish Emmy and Jet would have gotten a duet

sharing songs with each other is literally the first step in any perfect relationship you can not prove me wrong

SEBBIEEE!!!! He really is a knight in shining armor

”not harder than you not talking to me!” Oh, um, think again… BOMBSHELLS

awww ash’s voice is so good

RINAS POLAROID PIC IS SO ADORABLE PLEASE

ashlyn and Maddox’s chemistry is honestly super good they are both absolutely gorgeous and can sing like no one’s business (but technically ash and big red are still together, right? So… wouldn’t Ashlyn be cheating if anything were to happen??)

pause. Richard. Please don’t break up with Gina. That would be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. I have faith in you tho.

the way pumpkin guy awkwardly climbed thru the window

i still can’t believe Seb cheated

jarred is literally the worst at reading social cues like bro can’t you see Seb and Carlos are going through something over here? Take a chill pill and let them figure it out before you jump in ugh

hes not even that good looking either LMAOOO

Poor sebbie! But he shouldn’t have cheated imo

yes Ricky. Unleash all of your problems on miss Jenn. She will help you. She will use her magic powers and fix everything.

Ricky looks like he has a unibrow BAHAHA

yes miss Jenn call in those reinforcements

[or-something-better]

Abel Storyline (cont)

August 30, 2022 (Nightly RP)

Abbadon

looks down at my phone what the hell is this? what does he mean ‘a new boss’. for heavens sake I don’t need a new boss ALKAZAR! I can’t believe Lucifer would do this

Alkazar

you yelled and why do you look so angry cause it never looks good on you

Abbadon

glares at him I was just told I had a new boss what the hell I mean no one is going to measure up to Cain

Alkazar

don't you go glaring at me you need to calm down

Abbadon

don’t tell me what to do no one will take Cain’s place so I don’t know why he thinks I will willing follow someone else

Alkazar

shakes his head I ain't telling you what to do you just seem really angry over something so little I just want you to calm yourself is all. well I agree with on that seeing as he was in charge

Abbadon

looks back at my phone fine crosses my arms and pouts lets head to the address that we were given

Alkazar

well lead the way

Ruby

“SAM!”

Sam

Stepping out of the shower, I grab a towel and start drying off when I hear my name being called. What?

Ruby

Going to the bathroom door while Sam dries off, I tell him we’ve been contacted about where to take the box.

Sam

Great. Let me get dressed and I’m ready.

Ruby

I’m going to grab a quick shower. Want to make us some sandwiches while I do? Then I’ll be ready too.

Sam

Sure, I can do that. I start to get dressed. Watercress and avocado okay? I grab my shirt off the bed and take it with me to the kitchen to get food made.

Ruby

Sure, yummy. I roll my eyes at the back of his head when he heads for the kitchen. I turn the shower on and quickly grab the box with Chuck’s remains. I grab an empty vial and a pair of latex gloves and fill it with ashes, capping it with the stopper. You never know. Making a mad dash, I head into the shower. When we're both ready, I pop us over to the address

Crowley

I slam the bunker door looking irritated." Why don't any of you ever just ask? Actually, back up, how do you all even know where to look? Hmm Riddle me that Batman.

Henry

What's the matter jumped up from my seat  do you want a cookie?

Dean

Shut the fuck up dude! You’re lucky we even trust your ass at this damn point!

Patience

Dean you really need to calm down now taking a hold of his shoulder please calm down

Dean

Fuck no! They turned Sammy against us and they expect us to keep trusting their asses!

Charlie

coming out from my lab, slightly confused what is all the commotion out here??

Crowley

l jerk my shoulder away How did you all know where to look?

Charlie

Look for what?

Mary

She's right. You getting angry won't help your brother.

Henry

Everyone calm down before I throw this chair  snap and the chair raises with telekinesis

Crowley

One of my storage units was robbed. A box was taken. I want it back NOW!

Patience

looking worried and just what was in the box

Crowley

That's not important.

Dean

Better start explaining what the hell your talkin about

Crowley

How about telling me why it was taken?

Charlie

How can we tell you why, if we don’t know what??

Dean

getting pissed I grab you throwing you against the wall WHATS IN THE BOX? WE NEED TO KNOW! WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE DAMN BOX???

Crowley

I grunt and stare at Dean chuckling weakly. You are good at foreplay. Fine. There were some ashes in the box belonging to a certain squirrely little man were all acquainted with.

Dean

This IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO CRACK JOKES DOUCHEBAG! WHO'S FUCKING ASHES????

Crowley

Chuck. It's Chucks.

Ellen

in a demanding tone, but curious Crowley where the hell did you get his ashes anyway!? crossing my arms

Dean

punch you in the mouth HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU GET THOSE.

Henry

So someone is trying to raise old God from the dead

Crowley

I sent a demon to collect the bears excrement after it consumed Chuck. Then I burned them down and stored them. I don't know why someone wants them, since it wasn't you all, then I don't know why they want them.

Dean

Now that’s just nasty! making gagging noises dude.... I didn’t know you have a kink playing with shit

Crowley

I look disgusted I don't. Hence why I made it someone else's problem.

Patience

WHAT!!! AS I GIVE A NASTY LOOK

Charlie

Damn it! Why would anyone even want his ashes??

Henry

I can't believe it.

Dean

You still had to touch it to burn shit

Crowley

No.  Fireballs.

Mary

I agree with you there Dean

Abbadon

appears outside a house it’s good to be home again

Abel

sitting in the kitchen drinking whiskey

Abbadon

come on Alki. lets get this over with

Alkazar

well I guess we have to

Abbadon

walks into the house to see Abel sitting at the table whispers to Alkazar have my back

Alkazar

you know I’ll always have your back thy queen

Abel

Raising my glass Abagail ! Come in, join me. two glass fly over landing on the table your lackey can join us. No worries nothing for you to fear here

Abbadon

Abel, what are you doing here

Abel

I’m starting the knights of hell back up, training another army.

Abbadon

stares at him are you serious?!?!?!

Abel

filling the glasses it’s rude to have me drink alone

Abel

Deathly

Abbadon

I don’t drink much Abel and what are you doing in Cain’s house

Abel

Now is a good time My house, Cain is gone

Abbadon

actually it was my house oh and the name is Abaddon not Abigail

Abel

Was being the key word. Others may fear you Abagail, but don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m one of them. I will end you AND the dragon realm without breaking a sweat. Get on board, or join the void

Ruby

We pop into the cabin and I let go of Sam’s shoulder. Looking over we see that Abby and Alkazar are there.

Sam

Surprised to see Abbadon and her pet demon. I tighten my hand on the demon blade in my pocket, knowing Alkazar won’t be any match for it.

Abbadon

snarls what are you doing here

Abel

The gangs all here grinning

Abel

I asked them here.

Alkazar

looks over at the flannel wearing monkey and ruby who you calling pet demon

Abel

turning to Ruby & Sam So our demonic Romeo and Juliet did you bring what I asked?

Abbadon

what would possess you to call them

Sam

I hand Ruby the idol and step back, staying alert and waiting to see what happens.

Ruby

Taking the idol from Sam, I walk over to Abel and give it to him along with the box of ashes.

Abel

The same thing that had me call a demon that lost its way like yourself . Don’t make the mistake of thinking for one second, that I need explain my action to the likes of you standing finishing the whiskey taking the idol and ashes  there may be hope for you yet .

Ruby

Remaining silent, I raise my eyebrow

Abel

taking the items and heading to the forge I start to work meticulously on the blade heating it sharpening it again and again

Abbadon

what’s in the box

Able

The ashes of the original god. Not the hack that’s taken over his throne.

Sam

Now I’m intrigued having some experience in the forging of god-like weapons, after the creation of Gabe’s claws, and I step closer to watch. It seems an appropriately fitting and also a genius way to use Chuck’s ashes. I think he’d approve of being a weapon nothing could stop.

Abel

as I work on the blade, shaping it perfecting it every single detail precise so do you do any fishing ?

Sam

What? Not following the line of questioning

Abbadon

looks at Alkazar in surprise

Alkazar

looks back at Abby I take it you are surprised just as much as I am about all of this

Abel

Do you fish? I know you hunt, but a man needs a way to relax whistling softly as I pull the blade from the fire cooling it and adding the perfect design before sharpening the blade

Sam

Uhh, no... not really?

Abbadon

yes but working with Abel might happen whether we like it or not

Abel

Such a shame a man should be more than just his work showing you the blade

Alkazar

well I think it’s our smarter decision to make in the matter that we are in now

Sam

Whistles in appreciation.

Abel

slipping the blade into a sheath on my belt

Dean

calming down a little I release Crowley

Crowley

I touch my throat with a grunt. I took the ashes in case we needed them.

Ellen

I scoff at Crowley’s explanation pfff yeah ok. rolling my eyes

Patience

puzzled what in the world could we possibly do with them

Crowley

Remember dear Gabe in the Med Bay? None of us have the power to help him.

Gabe

whispering in Med bay LUCIFER …… all medical equipment silently flatlines alerting no one before turning off

Henry

What we going to do eats a cookie

Donna

come in carrying a bag of new gear and bag full of clothes! what about my archangel????

Dean

Well crowley had Chucks ashes in a box that got stolen and he claims it could help Gabe

Donna

The Who what NOW?????

Crowley

We don't know who has them now. I'm sorry.

Dean

Chucks ashes.....stolen....Sam and Ruby missing

Charlie

thinking those ashes might be just what we need to save Gabe…

Donna

Wellllll let’s go them?!?! Took them????

Donna SPN: What the HECK???) it’s chucks ashes??!??!

Dean

Yes and we have no idea where they are or Sam and Ruby

Mary

It seems to be coincidence with the idol and Sam and Ruby going AWOL without telling anyone.

Charlie

Not yet…. But we will find them…. Somehow….

Donna

I’m this is not okay!!!! We need fucking find them!!! not carrying about language as my beloved lays in the med bay

Charlie

We will Donna, I don’t know how yet, but I promise we will

Abbadon

Abel, what’s with the new blade

Alkazar

sits down at the table looking at the blade

Able

taking the blade out and deftly spinning it between my fingers faster and faster the blade never touching my skin nearly hypnotic this blade, if you thought the first blade was a doozy, this makes it look like a trinket. Though only my strongest knight dare weird it beyond myself TGEIR soul will belong to the darkness of the blade, myself, and Lucifer for eternity. stabbing the blade into the table those unworthy, will be destroyed by the power of the blade itself looking at Sam  Lucifer said you would be the one, but me? I’m not so sure

Ruby

I'm sure he did. He was obsessed with Sam.

Sam

I’ve gone up against Lucifer before, he’s got a damn good idea what I’m capable of.

Able

Hello kettle you’re black Help yourself . Though even the worthy must earn the power of the blade

Sam

I get up from the table, half expecting someone to try and stop me, and walk over to pick up the newly created blade. Feeling the weigh of it in my hand, the balance is perfect, as if it were made just for me. I can feel the power you’ve forged into this

Abbadon

scoffs I should hold the blade seeing as I’m the only Knight of Hell here

Able

Grinning a natural fit . But you’ve yet to earn anything

Alkazar

looks at Abby I would have to agree

Abbadon

gives Sam a smug look

Able

Then maybe we hold a competition, prove your loyalty to me and prove you deserve to be the first true knight in my army

Sam

I consider taking Abbadon out with the blade in my hand, but slowly put it down to remove the temptation.

Abbadon

Sam you have no chance

Sam

Abbadon I give her a small smile You just keep telling yourself that. I’ve taken you down before, and as a mere human... or maybe you’ve conveniently forgotten about that.

Alkazar

well I do believe Sam you don't have a chance either stands behind Abby

Able

Good idea but nothing will happen until I’ve let the power be released. To you it’s no different than a butcher knife

Abbadon

don’t make me kill you

Sam

Looks back to Abel So.. tell us about this contest

Abbadon

Alkazar, this will always go my way. it always will

Able

I’m not sure yet but I’ll think on it. smirking pouring another drink

Alkazar

looks at Abby you normally do get your way

Ruby

Getting up and walking over to Sam, I’m concerned and whisper to him, reminding him, Sam, those types of contests always come at a cost.

Sam

I nod and lower my voice speaking just for Ruby’s ears It doesn’t matter, Ruby. I’m not letting her anywhere near a weapon like this.

Abbadon

yes Sam there is always a price to be paid for something like this

Able

grinning watching the chaos my eyebrows raise and I head outside satisfied with myself remembering the one thing EVERYONE has forgotten

Charlie

sitting at my laptop, sending out some emails and reading anything I may find useful

Patience

sitting with some of the gang trying to come up with some theories

Mary

What is the end game they're trying for? And why is Sam involved?

Donna

paces circles around the room listening!

Crowley

Crowley raises his hand It may be pertinent to add, there are rumblings going on amongst my loyalists saying there's a new player in the game.

Patience

That's what I'm trying to figure out a vision would be nice right now

Ellen

going over theories with Dean. Mary, and Patience I was just thinking that too Mary.. Maybe someone wants Sam’s meat suit again.

Henry

I don't but it probably is pretty big. Probably demons involved in guessing  doodles on a notepad

Patience

What has Ruby got him into

Dean

That demon witch has my brother wrapped around her finger. He follows her like a list puppy. He’d do her bidding no matter what it was.

Henry

I don't know

Mary

Is there surveillance in the medbay? Maybe there is a clue there

Dean

Why would watching Gabe help mom? What are you thinking?!

Donna

wow!!!! Just telling us now??!?!

Crowley

I throw my hands up before standing to grab a drink As if any of you actually cared about the security of my throne before.

Ellen

getting irritated by crows ranting OH geeze just spit it out you blabbering fool!

Mary

To check the surveillance footage of the day they disappeared

Dean

No one but you cares, we care about what it has to do with Sam

Mary

Maybe there's a clue in the footage from around the bunker to show what happened

Crowley

I'm not exactly sure who this person is. All I know is that there's talk this individual is building their own order of knocks.

Henry

Or someplace else might have footage. He might have gone out someplace to have a catch with Ruby

Dean

Maybe THATS why Cain is in town Why the hell would you not think that would be information to share with the rest of the damn class????

Crowley

I shake my head It can't be Cain. My SourceSafe confirm he's wallowing pathetically in purgatory.

Ellen

cocking my head to the side out of curiosity  Well if it wasn’t him then how did he know about Dean, and Cain and that damned cursed mark?

Patience

looks worried if not Cain then who the hell is it?

Crowley

This is quite interesting. I'll go look for more information on the matter.

Mary

Be quick about it. We need to help Sam. Who knows what is going on. He might need backup.

Crowley

I nod and warp out.

Abbadon

Sam you don’t have what it takes to be a Knight of Hell

Alkazar

I still say knight of hell is an already taken place

Sam

Abbadon, if you’re talking about staking a claim, pretty sure that my time as Lucifer’s Original Vessel tops anything you’ve got stated on your resume.

Ruby

Sam's right.

Abbadon

I've been a knight way before you became Lucifer's vessel

Alkazar

well I think this should go well in a vote don't you all think

Sam

Huh I shrug my shoulders Wonder why they felt the need to look elsewhere then....

Ruby

I laugh at the suggestion

Abbadon

Abel is Cain’s twin. He looks for different people

Alkazar

cause if this was being put to a vote I would have to go with Abby since she already has experience as a knight

Able

walking outside and watching these supposed knight worthy individuals bicker like children my flare finding each of them

Ruby

Says the little peon

Abbadon

He is not a peon. He is my trusted advisor and bartender. He at least didn’t fall for a human like you did

Alkazar

who are you calling a peon you seem to be the one strolling about with the flannel wearing monkey and think he's got a chance at being a knight

Ruby

I simply smile

Able

Demons or not the knights of hell are proud, professional, orderly killers and from where I stand none of you fit that bill. I train nights of hell, I don’t babysit!

Sam

I know when to stop talking and do so.

Ruby

How may we be of service?

Abel

looking at each  what you meant to Cain, your prior experience, means NOTHING to me. I am not my brother and I DEMAND more of one is worthy of being one of my knights. Such as not letting others fight your battles verbal or other wise.

Abbadon

mutters under my breath

Sam

Ready when you are, just tell me what you need for me to do.

Able

Your ability as a knight can be taken as easily as it was given

Able

I have a task though admittedly it’s close to home

Abbadon

what are you talking about Able

Alkazar

well let us in on this task of yours Abel

Able

There is a stone, a single stone, the rarest of the rare and I need it complete the Eternal Blade. A black Quartz.

Sam

And I’m guessing that you know where this one-of-a-kind quartz stone is

Abbadon

where can we find it

Ruby

Where is it?

Alkazar

where is this stone located

Able

No I was hoping you would. Samuel a sharp tongue is quickly and efficiently removed

Able

It’s in the mausoleum where Lilith took her last breath, where the original apocalypse was to take place. Where the world was to end as we know it.

Ruby

A chill runs down my back remembering the mausoleum.

Abbadon

of course it is

Sam

Lucky for me, I already know right where that is. I shoot a glance at Ruby to catch her reaction, and then look back at Abel. Isn’t going to be easy to just stroll into though.... that place is pretty much a Historic Sight as far as Dean’s concerned. You can bet a lot of folks are going to know we’re there messing with things.

Abbadon

I have to agree with the flannel wearing monkey about the security. I’ve been trying to break in there for years

Alkazar

well I would have to agree on this with Abby as well

Able

It’s not meant to be any easy task, it’s meant to be a trial, a contest. If you had what it takes to be worthy of the blade …….. you’ll bring it to me.

Able

looking at the four shaking my head I turn heading in  Lucifer I hope your right, personally I’d slay all four and leave their rotting corpses as warning for any others looking to waste my time with thinking they are worthy the door slamming shut and locking behind me

Ruby

I pop Sam and I close to the mausoleum rectory door. It’s burned into my brain and I know right where to go.

Sam

“Let’s hope it works out better than the first time we were here.”

Ruby

I sock him in the shoulder

Sam

Ouch Rubs my shoulder chuckling

Sam

Walking down the now rotting church corridor, I try to reach out with my newly heightened senses, hoping to be able to get a bead on where the stone might be hidden.

Abbadon

lets go flannel wearing monkey and his pet demon

Alkazar

follows Abby and the others inside

Abbadon

walks one direction in search of the stone

Alkazar

goes looking in the other direction for the stone

Crowley

I pop back into the bunker and approach Mary and Patience It seems the rumors are true and they're is a new player in Hell. Currently though, no one is naming names.

Patience

I jump in fright as Crowley pops in Any idea who or what it is?

Ellen

Well shit, I don't like the sounds of that crossing my arms and leaning back against a wall

Crowley

As I said. No one is talking

Mary

Whoever it is what does it have to do with Sam? And why are they doing this?

Crowley

As I said. No clue.

Charlie

Shit there has to be more out there. Than Crowley

Dean

Damnit crowley! What the hell good are you if you can’t even force people to talk???? Seriously? Come on do better for Gabe’s sake!

Crowley

It's hell. People don't just give info for free.

Henry

Everyone has their limits

Crowley

Pup, are you suggesting torture?

Dean

And you’re supposed to be the king of hell dumbass! Make them FUCKing talk!

Donna

still pacing dying to be on the med bay. But is listening to the talking!

Henry

I guess so I don't really know. Sometimes my mouth speaks before my brain forms a full thought shrugs

Dean

suddenly I hear the alarms on the map table go off and I run over to the map table What the hell?

Patience

running to the map table as it's going berserk

Ellen

the map table starts sounding an alarm and I rush over

Henry

jumps I will never get use to that  runs to the table now what

Crowley

As everyone panics I watch them all I could always take you.

Dean

seeing where the alarm is showing oh shit how the fuck are we gonna get there fast?

Mary

rushes to the map room. What is going on?

Donna

runs to the table next Ellen! We GOT to get those damn ashes!!!!

Charlie

We do, let me get my stuff…. goes to get my go bag

Ellen

whew its just Donna. I think to myself grabs my gear off a nearby chair.

Dean

Its gonna take us an entire day to freakin get there!

Patience

runs to get my go bag

Dean

We gotta get to St. Mary’s cemetery. Yeah this isn’t gonna be good

Mary

gears up and runs back into the room I'm ready

Dean

It’s the fucking apocalypse all over again! thinking to myself Good maybe I can kill that bitch ruby for good this time.....

Crowley

Everyone grab on. I'll take us.

Ellen

holds onto crows shoulder

Charlie

grabbing on to Ellen

Mary

grabs ahold of Crowley's shoulder

Henry

grabs Dean

Crowley

when I have everyone holding on, I warp us away.

Dean

Yeah because I totally want to side with any demon at this point! irritated but know we can’t get there any faster otherwise i put my hand on your shoulder let’s just do this

Donna

grabs my bag and gears up! let’s get the heck out of here!

………………………………………………….

1. Abby gets a message from lucifer, telling her she is to meet her new boss today. Abby is angry and confused and complains to Alkazar. Alkazar tries to calm her, but Abby will not and rages about who could possibly take Cains place and Alkazar agrees that no one could. The two get ready and set out to the address given to them. Back at the apartment, Sam and Ruby finally get their message with the meeting place. Sam is anxious to get going, and ruby gets herself ready. They discuss what is about to happen and pop out to the location.

2. Crowley comes into the bunker, visibly annoyed yelling about why they didn’t just ask. For that matter how did they know where to look? Henry is confused by the outburst and asks what he’s talking about. Dean gets defensive, patience and Mary try to calm him. Charlie comes out from her lab as Crowley continues ranting about someone taking what was his. Finally, Henry tells everyone to calm down, and dean asks Crowley to explain. Crowley tells the team about the missing box from his storage unit, and patience asks what was in the box. Crowley doesn’t want to share that information. Charlie tells him they need to know, and Mary agrees. Crowley is still resisting so dean grabs him and pushes him against the wall demanding to know what was in the box and finally Crowley reveals he had some ashes from chucks remains, just for safekeeping. Ellen demands to know how he got them and Crowley explains how he sent a demon to pick through the bear poop and then he burned them down and stored them. Patience and Henry can’t believe it and Charlie swears wondering what anyone would want them for. Crowley says he doesn’t know but he wants them back.

3. Abby makes her way to a small country home where she finds Abel. She’s a little taken aback by how much he resembles Cain, though she knew they were twins. She whispers to Alkazar to have her back as Abel greets her. They exchange niceties and ruby and Sam show up. Abby snarls, not having been expecting that. Alkazar also gets defensive. Abel tells them to calm down and asks if Sam and Ruby have brought the items. Sam and Ruby present the ashes and the idol and Abel grins, he thanks them for their good work and has everyone follow him as he makes a show of forging the new blade that will become his own “first blade” Abby is curious about what was inside the box and Abel tells her. Abby and Alkazar can’t believe what they are hearing and decide working with Abel was the smarter decision. Sam and Ruby who aren’t listening to them, watch closely as Sam finally gets the chance to speak with Abel. Abel talks with him as he makes the blade, and then shows him the finished product.

4. Everyone seems to have calmed down a bit, while Crowley insists he took the remains only to help the team at some point in the future. Ellen scoffs and patience asks what they could possibly do with them? Crowley reminds them of Gabe in med bay. At the mention of his name, Donna shows up with her gear and asks what about Gabe. Dean tells her what Crowley had in the storage locker, and Charlie continues saying it just might have the essence they needed to save Gabe in the end. At that Donna asks what they’re waiting for, and Crowley says they don’t know who took them. Mary comments on how coincidental it is with the idol, and Sam and Ruby going awol. Donna asks where they are and dean tells her they don’t know. Donna says that isn’t acceptable and Charlie says they will find out… somehow.

5. Back at the cottage Abel, Sam, Abby, Alkazar and Ruby sit at the table admiring the new blade while able explains what kind of power it held, and his plan was for the strongest of his knights to wield it. Lucifer had said he thought it would be the Winchester but for now Abel wasn’t so sure. Ruby isn’t that surprised and Sam says lucifer knew what he was up against in the past, Sam picks up the blade and can feel the power from it, Abel comments on how it seems to fit, but he still had to earn it. Abby is insulted and says as a current knight she should own it, Alkazar agrees. Abel says maybe there will have to be some sort of competition, whoever proved their loyalty to him, and to the cause would get first consideration. Abby looks smug telling Sam he doesn’t stand a chance, with Alkazar backing her up. Sam reminds Abby that he had taken her down before, and turns to Abel asking for details of the contest. Abel isn’t sure just yet, but says that he will think on it, and would share as soon as he had it all worked out. Ruby tells Sam those type of contests always came at a cost, Sam said it didn’t matter, he wasn’t letting Abby get her hands on that blade. Overhearing, Alkazar looks at Abby and she assures him that she always gets what she wants. And this time would be no different. Abel smiles at the obvious chaos he’s caused and gets up, heading inside.

6. Charlie has her laptop open, she’s been reaching out to some other hunters on the network to see if they’ve seen anything unusual in their area. Mary, Ellen, dean and patience are discussing any theories they have while Donna listens in. Crowley speaks up and says there are some rumblings going on within his loyalists that there is a new player in the game. Donna and dean both snap at him asking when he was planning on sharing that news. Crowley gets defensive and Ellen tells him to spit it out. Crowley shares that he’s not sure who the culprit is, but he had heard of a new legion of knights being formed. Mary says that’s crazy, Dean remarks about that being the reason Cain is in town. Crowley tells dean it can’t be Cain, he had sources confirming that he was still safe in purgatory. Dean is shocked, and patience asks if it isn’t Cain, than who was that? Ellen asks how he knew about Cain, Dean and the mark then. Crowley says that is interesting, he will try to find out more. Mary tells him to be quick, and Crowley pops out.

7. At the cottage Ruby, Sam, Abby and Alkazar are arguing about who will be first knight. Abby and Alkazar obviously voting for Abby and ruby and Sam saying it should be Sam, especially since he was the original vessel. This continues for a few minutes, Abel comes out of the cabin and watches silently for a moment before commanding the attention of all there, reminding them that in his army he expected order, and professionalism. The four look sheepish and ask how they can be of service. Abel tells them he has a challenge for them, but it would be awfully close to home for Sam and Ruby, Abby laughs saying that would just make her job easier and Alkazar agrees. Ruby scoffs and Sam asks what it is. Abel tells them about an enchanted black quartz stone, and that he needed it to complete his weapon, there was only one in the world. All 4 ask where it can be found and Abel smiles as he tells them it is in the mausoleum where Lilith took her last breath, where the first apocalypse was to take place. Sam says he knows exactly where that is, but it wouldn’t be easy to get in unnoticed. Abby agrees saying this may be too much of a challenge. Alkazar and Ruby back up their respective partners and Abel just shushes them all, telling them if they had what it took to be first, they’d get it done. Then he goes back inside leaving the foursome to name their issues with the challenge and then to be on their way anyway.

8. The demons and Sam have all made their way into saint Mary’s cemetery. Where the mausoleum is. Abby isn’t certain of which one it is, but Ruby knows straight away.  Once inside they’re all trying to find where the Crystal might be (trail off in searching so the next part can begin)

Inside the bunker Crowley pops back, telling Mary and patience that the rumors were true there was a new player in the game. But at the current time no one was revealing who it was. Ellen and Charlie both curse, and dean tells Crowley he needs to do better. Just then the map table alarms start to go off and startle Henry. They all run to the table and dean sees where the alarm is set for and recognizes it, he tells Ellen it will take a whole day to get there.  Donna comments that my need to get those ashes. Crowley offers to take them all, and dean reluctantly agrees. The team gears up and pops to the cemetery.

[wobblewokgaming]

Yo-kai Watch Incorrect Quotes, part 1

Mary-Lou: I'm gonna get myself some soup.

Nate: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Mary-Lou: Pfft, I-I won't burn myself!

*thirty seconds later*

Mary-Lou: I burned myself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck, confused and scared, holding Hailey close to him: W-Watcha got there...?

Nate, petting an ostrich: A smoothie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Justin: I think this might be a bad idea...

Wyatt: Don't start thinkin' on me now!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Justin, nervous: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh...

Sue-Ellen, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you?

Justin, panicking: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate, sniffing: Calm down, I'm probably not sick. It might just be allergies.

Sue-Ellen: Okay, tell me this: are you, like, really tired?

Nate: I have depression, what do you think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate, after challenging the Zenlightener and loosing for the 50th time: I CAN'T DO IT, HAILEY!

Hailey: I CAN'T EITHER!

Nate: I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE!

Buck: WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITH WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US!

Nate: I appreciate it.

Nate, gesturing to Zenlightener, who looks confused and scared: BUT LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE FUCKING DEALING WITH, GUYS!

Hailey, barely containing her laughter: Nate-

Nate: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Buck, failing to hold his laughter in as well: Nate, w-we gotta-

Nate: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND, DUDES!

Nate: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY "what am I willing to put up with today"?

Nate, feral and foaming at the mouth, ferociously pointing at a horrified Zenlightener as Hailey and Buck look on dumbfounded while laughing: NOT FUCKING THIS!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hailey: We're kinda missing something, guys.

Wyatt: Cohesion?

Sue-Ellen: Teamwork?

Mary-Lou: A general sense of what we're doing?

Buck: And Nate ain't here.

Wyatt: Oh, and that, yeah.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate, to the BBQ Squad: I'd die for you.

Wyatt: Then perish.

Justin: You will.

Mary-Lou: P-please don't!

Buck: Cool!

Sue-Ellen: I'd die for you first.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hailey, getting shot by Jessica during Laser Tag: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I might've quite possibly been bamboozled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Hailey: I'm a knife.

Buck, from across the room: She's the little spoon.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mary-Lou and Sue-Ellen: We're this close to falling in love with Nate.

Buck: Y-your fingertips are touching.

Mary-Lou and Sue-Ellen: Exactly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck: Why's everyone so obsessed with top and bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed!

Hailey:

Hailey, with a shit-eating grin: I'm gonna tell him.

Nate, smacking her upside the head: Don't you dare.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zenlightener, cowering in fear: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Nate, Buck and Hailey standing in front of Zenlightener: *bites into their whole Kit-Kat Bars like a group of heathens with shit-eating grins on their faces*

Zenlightener, with tears in his eyes: Please, stop!

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Buck, to Sue-Ellen, gesturing to Whisper: How do you tell someone politely that you want to hit them with a brick?

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Police Officer, cuffing Dorothy: You have the right to remain silent.

Dorothy: I choose to waive that right.

Dorothy: *screams like a fucking banshee*

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Nate, to Whisper: My expectations are low, but they can go lower.

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Buck, pointing at a wall: What color is this?

Dorothy: Gray.

Nate: Grey.

Buck turning to Hailey: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Hailey: Dark white.

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Little Charrmer: Listen up, you little shits!

Little Charrmer, looking at Nate: Not you Nate, you're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jawsome Kid, Dr. E. Raser and Nate: *screaming incoherently*

Little Charrmer, busting the door down: What's wrong, Nate?!

Dr. E. Raser: Wait, why are you asking Nate that when when Jawsome Kid and I are also here?

Agent Spect-Hare, peeking out from the broken door frame: Because Nate wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you get the chance.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Computer: Please enter a password.

Jawsome Kid: *types in Nate*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Jawsome Kid: How fucking DARE YOU-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghoulfather: What're you writin'?

Nate: The Government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm not letting them know, it's private information!

Hoaxy Coaxy, looking over Nate's shoulder: This just says "fuck around and find out" in calligraphy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Charrmer: I wasn't that drunk!

Nate: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said "I was important".

Little Charrmer, hugging Nate while crying: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

[jjkpls]

the wishlist (m) - 6 (final)

“Was it worth it?”

> genre : smut, angst, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> words : 15k (ugh sorry)

> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, LOTS of pining; sextoys talk and use; explicit language; explicit description of sex; phonesex; masturbation (f); dirtytalk; alcohol drinking; dubcon exhibitionism; ambiguous infidelity

previous - masterlist

There's a lot of forgetting to get done. It wasn't the plan to get drunk. Maybe you should have known better than to confide the slightest about your heart and its aching to your two girlfriends. Because they don't have much of a solution to present you with. You meant to ask of them to divert your mind, make you laugh, feed you so much you'd fall into a food coma and wouldn't be able to think about anything else but sleep. Eventually, share their own dramas of the moment (they always have some) to get you so invested in their shits you wouldn't be thinking about your own.

You made the mistake of sharing, with probably too much preponderance in your tone, that Jungkook was back with his girlfriend.

Without any context clues -they didn't even know that he was single for approximately four days-, they knew. You're not that complicated to read when it comes to him. Only he seems to not get it.

You still remember the first time they found you out. They had a sense that something was up with this kid, that there couldn't just be a platonic, decade-old friendship based on nothing spicier than the tteokbokki you'd cook for him every now and then.

They only started believing, with utter incredulity, that it was true when they saw you, and him, and his girlfriend. All at the same time, sitting around the same table, there was no doubt left. No reason to believe that there's something unsaid existing. They saw your eyes though. The shine they gain whenever you'd be looking at him, laughing hard with all his teeth out, and the glassy look they took on whenever they'd catch a gesture, a touch that was meant only for Jiyeun.

You've never really gone into details. You've never ranted over the feelings, over him, everything that made him the one person for you. They saw you cry over him though, one drunken night, and it was enough to make them understand how deep you were in.

And perhaps it's your fault, that you wouldn't sort of train them to be the better friends they wish to be to you. They don't know what to say, what to do to console you. You don't even know what you need. Really, all you know, it's that you didn't feel able enough to take care of your tormented heart and mind alone tonight.

You are to blame if they dragged you to this bar, with the music too loud and the people too numerous, bumping their hips to yours attempting to coarse you into dancing. You hate every second of it. Every element that was supposed to distract you, help you forget, feel better, served as annoying distractions. You could picture yourself, dipped in a scorching hot bath, with a bowl of ice cream, weeping your eyes out like in the most cliche, most dramatic breaking down of your life. And it felt right, in your mind anyway, a thousand times better than this.

"Here!" Like the good girl that you are, you accept the shots. Min sets one in each of your hand and stares over the rim of her own glass, expecting. You roll your eyes. Swallow them down in one go and she yells, arms in the air, jumping like the night has just been made.

At least, she's entertained. Dancing her life away, kind of wilding out with too much energy, having to apologize every few seconds for knocking someone with an elbow or slapping another with her ponytail.

"Look, who's here!"

Your heart skips a beat then. Until you follow Mary's finger who's pointing rudely at Park Jimin. Park Jimin as in Jeon Jungkook's Park Jimin, one of his closest friends. He's dressed in all black, tight leather pants clawing to his legs, silk shirt half unbuttoned, perched on heeled Chelsea boots, dark black hair gelled back.

For a second, you worry, stupidly, if your friend is not going to appear, emerging from the thick crowd, carrying a drink, catching your eyes in the room. That's another thing you wouldn't need right now: seeing him. When you're in this weird state of sadness, guiltiness, of hopelessness and confusion. You'd probably be a mean bitch again. He doesn't deserve that.

For some time, you're just watching Jimin, being Jimin, dancing languorously, flashing smiles and winks so naturally; making everyone uncomfortable just because he's so attractive and so talented at catching people's attention and making them want him. It's just Jimin, hoeing out, as always. No Jungkook ever appears next to him. And while you sort of spy on him, there are the two dumb bitches next to you, drooling over him. Commenting about his ass, the way he moves his hips and how tight he seems to be in his pants.

"You should have fallen for him, dude!" It's the pinch to your arm that drags you back to the conversation, lets you know that you're the one Min is addressing. "What?" Your brain is already a bit slow. You haven't eaten much before leaving, drunk not much but too fast and forming intelligible sentences, translating your thoughts in their entirety is not a task easily doable at the moment. You meant to say something about how ridiculous they sound. About how it doesn't make any sense. About Jungkook and the things you feel for him, and the way you fell and how even when you suffer, like in this instance, you wouldn't change your heart because it's him, and only him, has been and might as well always be.

Why would you fall for Park Jimin?

"Jimin, you'd just ask him to fuck you and he'll do it."

"You can see he's a very generous slut."

It makes you wince. They're being fucking weird. Obnoxious, in their way of ogling him and quite disgusting talking about him. There's a smirk on the corner of Jimin's mouth and you wonder if maybe he's noticed them and is enjoying it. They don't mean to be offensive, you suppose, but they're still rude as hell.

"Useless Jungkook could never!"

Either you knock your friend out with your newly filled up glass or you drink it and attempt to swallow along your rage and that strange feeling that the open shirt Jimin is wearing has raised in you.

"Don't you wanna try him?" The question is absurd. You don't try people in general. But you'd never, ever, even think about trying someone as close as he is to Jungkook.

What the actual fuck?

"Fine! Don't give me those eyes!" Your brain and face connection is not that great at the moment that you'd know precisely what Mary is referring to. Soon after frowning and pouting through a sip of her drink, she's leaving, straight for the less crowded part of the bar, where people are dancing, where Jimin is showing off.

She needs less than thirty seconds to have him wrapped around her. Min is howling at your side like it's such an exploit. You don't want to bad mouth on your friend but it is, indeed, Jimin. Manwhore Jimin. And just like that, just because she walked in his vicinity, whispered something quickly to him, maybe just a simple greeting and a reminder of who she is, your friend, in case he couldn't make her out, and he's holding her tight, dancing, more like grinding against her, to her greatest pleasure, face buried in her hair, he seems to be uttering things directly in her ear. You catch her fingers reaching for the wide opening of his shirt, brushing against that tattoo you know to be there under his breast but have never gotten to really decipher, and he's leaving kisses on her shoulders. The next thing you see is his wide, wolf-like grin, now aiming straight at you.

You startle, almost let your glass shatter to the ground from the surprise. That seems to make him laugh. He waves a hand quickly your way and for some reasons, it sends a sudden flaming flush to your cheeks. That guy is such a cunt-tease, he's awful. No wonder people talk so crudely about him.

"I need to get plastered." You mumble, probably not loud enough for Min, whose arm you're dragging along on your way to the bar, to hear.

You may have thought, for a split second, of a fantasy. You may have reshaped the scene taking place in front of you to make it more suitable to you, to make it as self-indulgent as you could. With you replacing Mary, with Jungkook replacing Jimin. She made it seem so easy and for the briefest of moments, it felt like it was realisable. As if the only step missing, the only thing making it not real yet, is the first step, the one Mary took by just walking up to him and asking him to dance, maybe for you to be his for a while.

Then Jimin looked over, with his dark eyes and pretty luscious lips, his very sexy aura and everything that makes him him, and it all felt down to the ground. That's ridiculous.

That would never work.

Maybe hot men with the most endearing hearts that you really desire are not to be seduced by you. It just wouldn't happen. Jungkook would never, as she said. What a shame.

You should have fallen for someone easier like Jimin. He's not one person's man, that's for sure, but at least, he would have been great at pretending to be yours for a moment.

Now you really need to get drunk.

There's pure guilt boiling in the pit of your stomach. Because you've never denied your feelings for Jungkook. He deserves them. He deserves to be loved by everyone. Deeply and passionately. And no matter how true, how pure, how intense those feelings are, he never owes to reciprocate, does he? And here you are, greedy stupid little you, sad and angry because of course, he couldn't love you back like that. Not when there's fucking Jiyeun in the way. Jiyeun or any fucking one else, right?

He's not making it easy for you. Everything he does is making your life harder. As if it wasn't enough on its own already.

Everything he does.

Like buying you these fucking toys you need a science degree to operate.

Sort of.

Maybe you don't need a science degree. Maybe a sober head would be enough to make a toy you've never used before function.

You don't have that at the moment. You're in your favourite pyjamas - an extra-large, greyed by time tee-shirt you stole from Jungkook back in high school - and panties - because it sounded like way too much effort to find shorts or joggings and slip them on. You've managed, somehow, you don't even remember doing it, to make your bed all cosy and welcoming, a perfect backrest made of your fluffiest pillows.

The little toy, this orange thing, sort of shaped like a fat bunny, a big, rounded body with two straight little ears, pointed upwards. It's supposed to be fully charged. It's been disinfected. It's just waiting for you to use.

Except it's the last one Jungkook had bought for you, you didn't get to use it yet, to even turn it on once, nor read its instructions. And here you are, past two am, trying, with your sloppy brain, your blurry eyes, and your impatient cunt, to understand how it works. There's an app linked to it. This much you got from the big, unmissable QR code occupying the first page of the three-page long manual that your eyes won't read.

You picked up your phone, went through the violent burning of your eyes when the screen lit up too close to your face, scanned the code, installed the app and here you are, stuck.

The app won't let you turn the fucking toy on. There's a message that keeps coming up every time you try to link the app to the toy. But the message is written in grey, on white, and you can't see shit and you don't have the patience to decrypt it. Maybe if you close it, and try running it again, and try scanning the code again, and just click on the button that appears under the message, whatever it says, maybe it'll work.

Except it doesn't. After a certain number of times (keeping up with the counting is another thing you can't do well right now) the app keeps on being a bitch. Keeps being difficult and reluctant, and unwilling to let you fucking get off and go to sleep.

You're on the verge of tears.

Why would it be so fucking difficult to make a fucking sex toy work?

Why?

You're so annoyed and impatient and angry now and it's all Jungkook's fault anyway.

You can't try to go to sleep, no matter how tipsy you are, because your brain is filled up with this asshole and won't let you alone. You can't fuck yourself to sleep because the toy you've picked - and for totally irrational reasons you feel like you can not switch to another one - won't let you and it's his. His fucking present. Fucking poisoned gift.

He makes everything worse. Everything difficult. And the more your eyes fill up with frustration tears, the more you're reminded that he's also the answer. He's the worst and the best part of your existence.

Of course, you'd call him.

"I could be sleeping." His voice is light and clear. He wasn't any close to be asleep. He's probably gaming or something. You're so thankful for his voice, the lovely thing, the comforting thing, that you don't even get mad at his aforehand teasing.

"Jungkook-" It's not a call of his name. It's a whine, almost a lament at this point. Tiny high tone, overly dragged vowels. Something like Juunggooo, and he must recognize the tone straight away because he starts laughing in your ear. You bite on your bottom lip hard, almost draw blood, squeeze your fist over your heart, as if it could help it handle it better.

You love him, you love him, you love him.

"Went out with the girls?" You hum as an answer. "Had a little too much fun, sweatheart?"

"No fun at all."

He's laughing again. His sly, mocking chuckle. He's too himself for you to get mad at him. He's too cute when he sounds boyish and happy like that.

"No fun?" He's having fun, it's hearable. It might be because you sound like a dumb, whiny kid. "Why is that?"

"Just cause." He hums like he understands. You hear mockery in it. He sounds a bit distant. As if he's not totally paying attention, as if you're really a four-year-old kid rambling some non-sense after school and their parent just barely pretends to be interested. "Junggooo, I'm trying to have my fun now but your thing is being mean to me."

"What thing?" He's definitely doing something else. He speaks a bit slow, you can picture his gaze far from you. And of course, it'd be, he couldn't even see you even if he tried. It's still vexing. He really doesn't want you to have him all for yourself. Why not fucking Jimin?

"The orange bunny you got me." You explain patiently, pouting a bit. You try your best not to have your vexation be too loud but it's hard. "I tried the app but it won't let me."

"The orange-" You hear it when the gears click. He even gasps a bit. You kind of brought it up out of nowhere when you accommodated him with your constant complains and fights pretty much each time he wanted to talk about this subject. And here you are, opening up a conversation on one of them. You kind of get where the shock is coming from. "Oh, the Gala thing." He even knows its name. "What- How isn't it working?"

"The app says I'm too drunk to use it." You quetch, glaring at the toy laying flat on its back next to you. The asshole.

"The app says what?"

"Jeon Jungkook! Are you even listening to me?" Hysteria was to be expected. Because here you are sad and drunk and horny and highly frustrated and it seems he keeps making you repeat everything. And of course, he would because he can't give you his undivided attention now, can he? Because he's not a generous slut like Park Jimin, he's a useless prick. And if he keeps being one, and he keeps upsetting you, you promise to yourself, as an act of self-love and self-respect, you'll tell him he should be better, he should be more like Park Jimin.

"I am, baby, but I'm confused."

Except he doesn't need any bettering, does he?

It's like he's heard your thoughts. Like somehow, even with the distance separating your two apartments, he's been able to read them directly on the lines of your heart. He knows what you need, the soft and gentle and tender Jungkook who takes care of you, the one that doesn't show often, especially now that you don't really go out and get pissed off drunk together, now that you don't expose the sad episodes you might have to him in fear of being precisely confronted to this perfect torture. Maybe he heard your mind calling Park Jimin's name too many times and he tries to ensure his position. You almost tell him not to bother. That it was just a taunt, it's always him, just him, will ever be.

"What does the message say?"

"That I'm too drunk and stupid to use it."

"I don't think that's what's written, baby."

"But-" You're seriously going to cry in a second. You don't even know from what. The app really succeeded in hurting your feelings by not working for you and he keeps calling you baby, it makes your whole inside boil and scorch like a puddle of lava. "It's invisible letters, how am I supposed to read exactly?"

"If you can't read maybe you should just go to bed for now, hm? Figure it out tomorrow."

"No, now." Full brat mode is on. You know if only he was sitting next to you, you would have raised a hand to pinch him right on the back of his upper arm -where it really stings. It works usually. You don't hurt him, the guy is basically made of muscles, he's the kind of work out junkie that's enjoying the pain. He wouldn't fucking mind your tiny attempt of an attack, no matter the amount of anger and frustration powering it.

By telephone though, it's even harder to make him do something. Possibly undoable. The only weapon that you have is your annoying screeching voice. "You fix it! You bought this shitty thing so you fix it."

"I forgot how rude you get when you're drunk." He's still making fun of you. Not taking you that seriously.

"Jungkook, I'm seriously going to cry." The worst part is that you mean it. If regular menaces won't do, surely affection blackmailing should be more effective.

"Don't cry, it's fine. I'll check. Don't hang up."

As if. You did not plan on hanging up. Ever. You've decided.

It's too nice, cuddled up in your bed, with his voice, smooth and soft, saying words that you really like, like baby, in your ear. You've decided this moment won't ever stop.

"Junggoo-"

"One second, baby." You don't have one fucking second. You don't have any fucking second to spare him. When he's made you horny and lonely and longing for so fucking long. Why would you spare him any more? He takes too long. The time he takes, you prophet, will precisely be the time your vagina will need to dry out entirely.

Even his soft voice calling you baby won't serve to make you wet again.

That's a lie.

It makes you groan. Asshole, asshole, asshole.

"Oh." Your ears perk up. He's back with you, his voice closer than before, it seems, when he starts explaining, a hint of guilt shadowing his tone. "Sorry, it's my fault."

"Of course, it is." You mumble, face deep in your pillows. "Jungkook! Everything's your fault, always." You're probably being unfair. Or maybe not. Is he responsible for making you fall for him or are you to blame for doing so? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, because he doesn't even pay attention to the blatant, telling, honest truth you've just spurred.

"When I received the package I tried it once."

"Tried?" Did he really? The cute little bunny-shaped thing you'd dismissed earlier, cursed at and threw daggers at suddenly looks different to you. You want to pick it up and maybe place a kiss on the top.

"Wait- Not like that! I didn't actually try it! I don't have a fucking clit, what-"

"You just said that!"

"I meant, I tried turning it on and linking it with the app, just to see how it worked. Like the options on the app."

"Oh." Makes more sense.

"Anyway, it's not working for you because I used my email with it and you can only have one." So many words. God. "I have to invite you. Or delete my account and then you make one with your QR code."

You turn into the whiniest, most irritating little thing then. Just a jumble of dramatic cries, something almost sorrowful because your issue appears impossible to deal with. It's not that complicated. He explained it. Too many words, too much thinking, too much paying attention, too much to do and too much delay. How does he expect you to do it when you can't even read the invisible font of the app?

"Fucking invite me then."

"Watch your mouth." It makes you roll your eyes. It's not the first time he says that. He says with this menacing growl at the end. Like he means it. Like he's really threatening you. But no matter how far you go, no matter how many times you curse at him, he never acts on it. You want to tell him, you almost do, to stop promising you things he won't ever give you. There's a ping coming from your phone. With a bit of a struggle, you manage to put the speakers on, so that he doesn't leave too far whilst you take a look at the message. A link to click on. Not that hard, it's bright blue, unmissable. It leads you back to the bitchy app.

Now it's all nice to you. It lets you enter, presents even a picture of your own toy, congratulates you for being linked to it and to Jungkook's account. Of course, it would. Now that it knows you're friends, now that he's in the thing, this bitch of an app is being nice.

There are a lot of symbols, every-fucking-where. Some wavier than others. One is shaped like a music note. Some are just little constellations of dots. You click somewhere, just to try and see if anything happens and it does.

Suddenly, the bunny is brought to life and starts purring furiously on the bed. It startles you, looks a bit intimidating. It sounds angry and complicated with all of these fucking options. At least the other toys he's gotten for you had at most two buttons, one to turn it on and off, and the other one to regulate the three levels of intensity.

You might actually need a science degree to use that. Simply to adjust it so it's not attacking you when you turn it on.

You press another button. The setting changes instantly. It starts vibrating in a jerkier way instead of one straight line of frequency.

Tentatively, you grab it, sort of unimpressed and dubious as to the way this would feel good on you. You've already grown grudges against it. It needs to impress you, prove to you that it's worthy of the effort and of you even bringing it to your precious temple.

It sucks at convincing you. You've brought it to your panties and tee covered crotch, pressed it there, waiting, and it doesn't do much. It vibrates. Weirdly. It stops and goes again, in a pattern you don't understand and it doesn't do much for you. Doesn't turn you on, doesn't make you wet. Doesn't stimulate in any positive way.

You reach for your phone with one hand, trying to keep the other one holding it against you, and it's here that the whole thing fucks up for the last time you can tolerate.

How are you supposed to fucking do that?

Don't they understand that? The people that make those fucking things? That they're going to be used mostly by single people, with a single pair of hands? How are you supposed to manage holding it up where you need it, whilst simultaneously, hold your phone up (everyone fucking knows holding a phone up with one hand, and tap on the fucking screen, especially laid in bed, is impossible and the worst fucking idea one could have - except if getting a black eye is the project) and control the intricate dashboard.

"For fuck's sake!"

"What is it?" Jungkook is sighing heavily in your room. And for a second, you're startled almost off of your own bed. You managed to forget he was even still here, on the other line, apparently waiting patiently for- for what exactly? Maybe for you to wish him goodnight and hang up. You literally forgot he was here. You were about to get yourself off -if only this shitty thing wasn't so shitty- whilst he was still here on the phone.

Why doesn't it mortify you?

"How am I supposed to use my phone and the thing at the same time? Why- How? Jungkook!"

"Stop saying my name like that!" You don't ask because you know exactly how you're saying it. There's no proper balance in your tone tonight. Either you're whining his name like a desperate brat, either you're pestering it like a disappointed, aggravated mom.

"I'm going to cry." You say again, lying this time. You've already started. It's not a lot yet. Just a puddle of tears, in each of your eyes that are just about to spill, and the prickling sensation at the tip of your nose, the latter has already starting sniffling uncontrollably.

"Why?" He sighs again. This time, it's gentler. He might have just found the key to the secret safe holding the very last drops of indulgence he hides deep inside his kind heart. "Baby, the app is really for couples."

"But I'm not a couple, I just wanna cum."

"Y/N-" He chokes on your name. "There are buttons on the toy for you to use. You don't have to use your phone, okay?"

"You're lying."

"Why would I be lying? Look! There are fucking buttons."

There are, indeed. But they suck, you think. You do try them. Pressing on them while you stretch your arms out to keep the bunny's ears close to your covered clit. It's so much work. You don't get it. The buttons are hard to press on, when you manage to activate the little monster, it just jabs against your centre, falls over from your hand. You hate the jerking motion, try to change it because clearly, it won't do. It doesn't work. The buttons suck, the toy sucks and Jungkook is cursing at you instead of helping.

"What do you want me to do? Baby, I'm- Just go to bed."

You hate that he's telling you to go to bed, again. He's probably right. You're being a pain, an embarrassing one at that. You can't just go yet, though. First of all, the very reason you called in the first place, for him to make it so you can fuck yourself to sleep, has not been effectively resolved. And on top of that, the very resolution you took earlier, the one of never hanging up, of never drawing a period to this moment, won't let you.

"This one sucks ass."

"It doesn't." He sounds calm, a bit quiet, tone low and collected. You wonder if he'd dropped whatever he was doing, whatever distraction and laid in bed like you, to listen and talk to you only. That would be nice. You're annoying as hell, poor him, he deserves better, but you're thankful for him.

"It's stabbing, how can it be nice?"

"You just- I don't even know why I'm arguing with you. You're drunk."

"Am not, you are."

He scoffs, doesn't bother insisting. He exhales deeply. You sigh as deep. Your lids are heavy. Your brain is fuming too. Your head feels fuzzy. You could sleep right now. You might make a terrible night. You might have nightmares. You might wake up in a few hours, hot and very bothered, frustrated and on edge. There's a little ping messing with an edge of your eyebrow. You know it'll grow into a headache soon.

"Junggoo..." You whimper as if he could help you. As if he's the key to this headache, to lock it away, along with the rest of your tormented feelings.

"You're tired, baby." He comments. You would bite if you were in front of him. He really wants to send you to bed. "Just go to sleep."

You should. Given that you need a good five minutes to find the energy to open your mouth and mumble, "Don't wanna."

"Then what is it that you want?"

"Told you."

"Hm?" You're not saying it again. You could fall asleep right now. With his slow breathing in your ear. It sounds so lovely. Feels like you've never been this nicely enveloped. It's like those ASMR or lo-fi music compilation videos on YouTube. The ones with the short scene, often animated, playing on the screen. It's instant peace, instant chill, purely quiet, greatly pleasant. You love these sceneries. You even have a few printed on your wall. They are great to look at and try to project in, because it seems you could never create this feeling, this atmosphere in real life.

But you've reached it. Now. The perfect peaceful land. With the perfect soundtrack coming through your phone. You're comfy and warm, it's almost as if he was actually there with you, wrapped behind you, stroking your hair. God, you wish he was there stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head. But he's not here. And why? He should be here. If he can be on the phone with you, when he used to come over to make sure the blanket is nicely tucked under your chin, why can't he be here? Life's so unfair.

"What was that?" He's probably referring to the big loud thump, throwing his toy to the ground made. It's not its fault. Even if it hurt your feelings, it's not responsible for him not being yours. Or maybe it is. He wouldn't give you toys if he were yours. He wouldn't need them. That's probably why Jiyeun doesn't like them. Because she wants him to be all that's pleasuring her. The lucky lucky bitch.

"Your stupid toy."

"Don't- do you know how much it cost?"

"Never told you to buy it."

"Sure, but don't break it! I promise it's good. You can't-"

"It stabbed me!" You accuse, petty.

"You- are insufferable." He sounds about done. Except he's not because he seems to want to prove you wrong, still. The toy on the ground starts shaking back to life. Curiously, you roll on your belly, throw a glance to the ground. It's stirring, moving around slowly, getting closer to you as if it's trying to hop back up on the bed. "Pick it up."

You do as you're told. It's vrooming lightly, quieter than you expected. You can hardly feel it in your palm. The movement more noticeable from the timid sound than by the intensity.

"Oh. It's nice now." Maybe it does have a conscience. It's being all sweet and mellow because the remote is in Jeon Jungkook, international heartthrob's hands.

"See?"

It's really gentle. It turns cute. With its bright orangy-red shade, its two cute ears and its belly, a bit domed to allow a better grip.

Your hand has a mind of its own. If he were to ask about it, to demand an explanation, even when you'll come later, and wonder mad and revolted and half dying of embarrassment, what the fuck came over you, you'd blame it all on your hand. The appendix and its own personal free will are bringing the thing back to your crotch. "You can switch the intensity, it was just at the highest before." You're hardly aware of Jungkook still talking in your ear. The phone on speaker is still laying on the pillow next to you and he's selling it to you, while demonstrating, as if he's signed a sponsorship with the brand. It could be funny but you don't really care, more curious about The Gala and finally getting to know it.

Soon enough you realize that two layers of clothing, no matter how thin, are too much. You lift the hem of his tee, exposing your panties and the lines of your mound, showing through the tissue. It makes sense then, the shape of the thing. It has those two straight ears, or poles, with enough space in between, to tuck your clit comfortably. If you'd like. And you're not sure it won the privilege just yet.

For now, it'll have it but still over your panties. They're so flimsy that really the fitting isn't too far from its initial conceptualized use. "And the modes- see," It's jerky again. It goes for a couple of beats very quick short pulses and then there's a long, monotone one until the pulses come back again. You don't like that one. It's gentler than the one from earlier, that tried to attack your clit with an angry strong beating though. "You can just switch. If you don't like the fast pulses, you don't have to use it. You just try it out." You guess he's right. You just have to try it, tame it. Learn its functions and let it learn you. Probably. Sounds like a lot of work though. The other ones were really straight forward. Good, excellent for some - special shout out to the clit hoover, which is not actually vacuuming but blowing air, which made you cum so fast and so hard in the very first two minutes of trying it. You'd turn it on and it'd do the job. Next to your ear, rambling like a radio you'd forget to turn off in another room, Jungkook is explaining how there are dozens of preset patterns and an infinite amount of slots for personal creations.

It's okay. Sounds like it would do the job. You can already tell how you'll use it if you ever decide to give it a second chance after tonight. Pressed tight against your button, turned a bit higher, in a very basic, very classic constant monotone vibration.

He's switched it to another stabbing like pulsing, very fast and aggressive, you can tell they meant to imitate the pattern of a good pounding but it does little to nothing to your excitation. Really all it does is make your eyebrows frown and your premise of a headache is back. "Hate that one."

"Change it." Kindly, he complies. Another one. You can't really identify it. Maybe a slower thrusting. It's better than the last one simply because it doesn't nearly hurt. Doesn't do much good either. But maybe it's not doing much over your panties though therefore curiously, with eyebrows furrowed now in concentration, you lift the waistband up with a finger and slip the bunny under it. Tentatively, you try to set it nicely where it should be resting, your clit out in the open, hugged tightly by the two ears replacing your lips. It's kinda nice. Barely though.

"So is-"

"Wait, turn it up a bit. I can't even tell what that's doing." You mumble maybe a tiny bit petty, a bit bad faith remaining from the bad impression the toy gave you. It's not that you want to hate because you've decided you would. It's more intricate than that. You're too tipsy to even try and explain that though.

"That one is-" After a while, doesn't do much. The higher setting, you suspect he hasn't gotten up a lot, hardly helps. It does vibrate but it doesn't seem to reach enough, your clit hardly feels anything. Your electrical toothbrush from your horny teenage years used to do a better job at being a vibrator -and this even over your jeans.

You're this close to throwing it to the ground again and give up on it, once and for all. Jungkook would need to understand. It's not because he spent a lot on it, it's not because that strange lady he keeps mentioning insisted on its good, that you are forced to appreciate it. You don't see the fucking point of this one. It does look cute and expensive but is pretty much useless. No one needs a pretty, expensive but awful friend.

"It sucks."

For a few seconds, he doesn't say anything. You consider that he might have even hung up. But then, in the quiet, his voice too serious for him not to have taken what you said personally breaks out. "You're mean."

"I think- I think it's a good opportunity to decide- uh..." The toy is still active in your panties, under your palm. The realization slowed your process of thought for a second but the bigger conclusion that it brings is that really, it sucks. So bad you even forgot it was still on -and it's not you being too drunk to have a fully, 360 awareness of your body, honestly. "To decide collectively that you need, you have to stop buying me those."

"They're not all bad! You loved the other ones!" He accuses, apparently not up for the collective decision. You are probably made of confusion at this point. How many more does he feel the need to get you? Is it that great, that gigantic, that tragic of a frustration that he developed by his girlfriend not liking these that he feels the need to bury you alive with thousands of those? The secretive shelf at the bottom of your dresser already holds little to no place left for another pretty box. And as to the satin bag you use to store the toys themselves, in your bedside table's drawer, you can't even close it anymore.

"When have I ever said that? We talked about one, I said it's fine."

"That's not what you said." Honestly, right now, you have no idea what you said. You know that you didn't find great easiness in talking about them. You've never mentioned any and he never did either, apart from the very first one. You did say something positive about it, you think you can recall. "I don't listen to you anyway because I know how bad of a liar you are."

"Well great. Blatantly admitting you don't care about my feelings-"

He bursts out in laughter. You might be a little bit of a drama queen right now. The hand that is not holding the bunny against your mound -for reasons you don't care to address to yourself, probably for you being so lazy that it feels more like an effort to change your hand's doing, take out and put away the toy, rather than just leave it there quiet and not really bothering- did reach for your chest, in a very theatrical embodiment of an offence.

"That's not what I said, you brat."

"That's what I heard though."

"I said I don't trust your mouth when the rest of you is saying something else entirely." You roll your eyes. Hopefully loud enough for him to hear it on his side of the call. "It's my new passion." He starts, giggling like an idiot. "I won't stop for as long as orgasms will look this good on you."

Oh. My God.

Is he allowed to say that? Is he allowed to say shit like that with the most calm you've ever heard anyone speak with? Like it's normal. Like it's a simple fact. Like the word orgasm in itself isn't so foreign in his mouth. Somehow he makes it sound incredible, so delicious you feel the first proper impulse to your pussy.

"You've never seen it." You counter, uneasy, feeling somehow unbalanced and unprepared against what is probably a simple conversation to him but a real personal attack with too great of weapons to you.

"I've seen the aftermath. I told you already." You wish he'd be more explicit. His words are confusing. They're not telling enough. They can be so much, they might not mean anything. He speaks softly, tranquilly, almost whispers in your ear. It's simply late. It's more appropriate, it feels, to speak quietly like that. It's one of those midnight talks.

He wouldn't know whenever he is seducing you. He's doing it constantly without meaning to. It's just him being himself and you being too weak for him. How could you make out his intentions now?

"You really-" The toy twitches in your hand. He clicked on the switch button of his app again. You're not sure why. From the way he speaks, he might not even have realised. He might be playing with the thing, mindlessly, the way he does when he picks at the skin of his fingers when he talks. He must be because he's still in his own head, talking while the thing, the barely interesting thing, turns into something else. Entirely. It's a wave-like pattern. Growing from pure stillness to a slow, growing vibration that ends in an intense climax. You gasp. He doesn't seem to hear. "You really don't want me to get you any more?"

The second wave hits. "Oh- God."

"I mean- I thought, we were- that it was okay." The sensation is incredible. For some reasons, a technology you don't fucking understand, you wouldn't fucking understand now, every single build hits insanely hard. Each time as intense if not better. You're so close to moaning. If you haven't really taken a second to realize what you were doing, actually using the toy with him on the phone, without him even knowing, somehow you know you need to remain quiet. You can't moan out loud. You sigh loud though. You have to. "I swear with you it's so hard to tell-" It's so hard to keep quiet and the realization brings a grin to your face. You're not that vocal usually. Sometimes you are, with some of the surprisingly good sessions Jungkook's presents have been offering you. But it was conscious. It was you enjoying, wanting to build a bigger pleasure, make it more sensational, it turned you on a bit, you had to admit, to hear yourself. The pleasure the toy is bringing you right now is indescribable. The more you leave it pressed to your clit, the more you feel the heat grow. You know it's already too much. You hiss and sigh, and have to bite back moans each time the high top of the wave comes. It's too much and feels like not enough.

The greedy you would want the final hit of the wave to last longer than those very few seconds. Long enough to bring you there, make you fall over the top of the hill. But it's a teasing setting. Probably programmed specifically for overstimulation. You squirm and bite back whines each time it comes, flinch and have to fight to not tear the ears away because you know the sensation is a lot to handle, too much stimulation, yet you're already addicted, unable to act on the very fair, logical, and sensible decision you should make. You shouldn't even be pleasuring yourself with him on the fucking phone.

"Are you okay?"

Jungkook asks, after having stopped talking altogether for a minute too long but it's not like you were really in any state of mind to acknowledge it.

You don't think he's noticed yet. From the noise, hopefully little, that you were making, at most, he should be able to hear some sort of short breathing, for all you know, he might think nausea is visiting from all the alcohol you've consumed and you're heaving, on the verge of throwing up.

"You're not feeling well, Y/N?" It's his concerned tone. The serious one. The one he uses whenever there's no skip button to the conversation. Usually, it leads to him coming over to take care of you like he's your mother. Which sounds great in theory but doesn't always apply wonderfully in practice.

Sometimes you don't want him to see you looking green and gross from fever sweat; sometimes you just want to be alone and recover on your own without having him watching so dramatically concerned over your shoulder. And now, you wouldn't want him to burst in with your hand still in your panties, a sweaty, bothered, horny mess for him to be left shocked and possibly disgusted by. Maybe disgusted is a big word. Or maybe it's not. How inappropriate is it to masturbate with an unknowing friend on the other end of your phone? Is it even legal?

"I'm fi-fine, Jungkook." You lie through gritted teeth. You can't possibly be fine. You've put yourself in the worst situation and you still don't do shit to get out of it. Something is very much wrong with you.

The logical thing to do, the sensible one, would be to either end the conversation, hang up and then eventually finish yourself; or else, take the thing out of your panties, possibly throw it the further away from you and keep the conversation on if that's what you wish to do.

It would certainly not be to ask for him to turn up the setting because you now really much want to come.

"You don't sound fine."

"But I am."

"How much did you drink?"

"Not that much, Guk." He makes you frown, almost rips a curse out of you. Because all this serious talk is diverting you from your pleasure. It's not like you're going to have fucking alcohol poisoning. You didn't drink that much, honestly. The drinks were not even that heavy, except for the two disgusting shots your friend forced in your hands. "Seriously, I'm good." The building up pleasure has brought a new awareness to your brain, and honestly, you feel way more alert than before. You're far from drunk, no matter how much your behaviour seems to contradict that. You're good. You'd be perfect if he'd shut up or if he'd start half seducing you as he does. Maybe he could talk about your nipples again and what you should do with them.

He did say that. Now that you come to think of it. On top of buying you those toys, he did guide you as to what to do with some of them, how you could use them. They were not his direct advice, they were the lady's but still, he felt the importance to share them with you.

"If you are then just answer the question, how much?"

"Okay in a sec but can you turn up the toy's intensity, please?"

"Turn what?" You almost bark then. The whistling f of a very practical, very useful word you shouldn't yell at him rings to your own ear but you're strong enough to hold back. "Ah the thing, yeah, sure." What a sweetheart. A bit slow, but lovely. Your whole body contracts violently when the newly powered wave hits, the beginning of a moan escaping because it's so good, it's almost painful. "I had like two shots of-" Ah. "Something. I don't know what it was, just-" Fuck. "Gross as- uh." Holy shit, that's good.

You can't believe you've judged this intricate, revolutionary technology so bad before. "And then, like, a martini or two, barely and- and-" You're so fucking close. Each time feels like the final ascension except you get back to square one whenever the vibration drops back to stillness too quick to your liking. It's pure torture. And having to make a fucking list of your consumption that's so far back in your brain right now, especially when you know that it's pointless, is not helping.

"Wait-"

"Jungkook-" You don't know if you're begging him to stop thinking now, not get to the conclusion his logical train of thoughts is trying to lead him to, or if you're begging him to help you cum, maybe be nice to the bunny which only seems to be kind to him and make him make you cum.

"Why did you ask me to turn the thing up?" He already knows the answer. You can hear in his tone that he already knows. And frankly, he's a dumb ass for not realizing sooner. "No, you're joking. You wouldn't- not when I'm talking to you."

"When if not then?" Maybe frustration has brought you some bravery, or maybe pleasure has burned the very last remaining functioning cells of your brain.

"Uh?"

It's probably gone too far now. It still feels like he owns the key to the phenomenal orgasm you can smell coming. If you were to hang up now, you wouldn't even know how to make this shitty thing work. And it's not enough. Still.

Shit.

You're definitely wailing in a second now. The next sound you mean to conceal is a sob. Why can't you reach it? And how can you be so hyper-focused on it, it doesn't seem to matter what's going on with Jungkook.

You've gone crazy. Or perhaps you're drunker than you thought yourself to be. The last wave hits differently. It's straight-up overstimulation when you haven't even come once yet. Doesn't feel very nice but at least, it's the push you need to finally lift it up a bit, make a pause and eventually show some consideration to Jungkook.

"So you've been arguing with me, saying it sucks when really you were-"

"It did suck before you changed the setting." You assert again. Because nagging is the thing you're most talented at doing, apparently.

Silence ensues. In the defeating quiet you realize even the discreet humming of the toy has stopped. He's turned it off.

Something akin to shame is finally showing the tip of its nose. It's been fucking late to the party, you note with a growing, you know to become, devastating mortification. Exhaustion and tipsiness are keeping your conscience quite numb but you don't give a chance to sober-you who'll wake up tomorrow with this awful incident engraved in her memory.

Why can't he say something? Essentially, it's his fault. It's always his fault. He makes you feel things you shouldn't and make you do things you wouldn't. You can't think properly. You're being fucking chaotic and he's responsible for that. Even you know it's reaching. You're not that petty and mean.

In a whisper, dipped in sincerity and shame, you apologize. "Sorry, Jungkook."

"For what?" Because he can't let you off the hook that easily, can he?

"Are you seriously going to make me say it? You know why!" Here comes angry-you again. Getting mad and rude for no rational reasons, and here, awfully unfairly. He really deserves better.

"No, I-" You may have broken him. Jungkook has never been the most eloquent person. Between lisping and stuttering and stopping mid-sentence to let you complete for him his missing words, he's never been the best at talking. But even for him, even knowing his history, you find him pretty affected. Possibly all messed up. There's not even the hint of sensible thought. A void filled with "uh" and "tsk" and lips smacking and hums, it's like he's ceased to function. Maybe if you just hang up and from then on, just pretend it's never happened, both of you can get away with the situation. It's an option.

"Jungkook, seriously, I'm sorry. Let's say it was a fucking, uh, drunk lapse of judgment on my part and- yeah, never mention it again."

"Yeah, okay." He whispers after a while. He sounds really shaken up. "But it's fine, I'm not mad, I'm just-"

"Bamboozled?" You suggest, heart constricted, not ready to joke yet but so desperate to obtain at least a smile from him to prove yourself that it's okay and you didn't fuck it up too bad.

"Bamboozled, indeed." He chuckles, a bit breathless on the phone. You can't help the big sigh that escapes you when relief rushes through you. He doesn't sound too upset with you. "I'm really not mad, I just wouldn't have- I wouldn't have expected this, from you."

Of course not. It makes you cringe. You bury your face in your pillow and release the most intense quiet cry you could manage.

"Sorry." You say again, quiet. Your eyes are prickly. This night is such a mess. You can't make out how you're feeling. It's like your reactions and your reflections all come to their own rhythm, inappropriately, unmatching each other's and certainly unmatching the current situation.

"Stop. And don't-" If you're decomposing yourself progressively, at least, he seems to be getting back to his senses. Voice clearer and more present. "You sound so upset now. Are you embarrassed?" It's a smile you hear in his words. You don't have the right to be mad at him but honestly, you would have hit him in the ribs if he were in front of you.

"Is it even necessary to ask?" You grumble face half suffocating still in the pillow. Oh, here's another solution. Suffocating yourself to death.

"I think so. I mean I bought them and I turned it on for you, I should have- I couldn't have known but I should have. It's fine honestly."

"It's not."

Stop pretending, you fucking liar. Even if he acts quite calm, nonchalant, you can hear a very slight difference to his usual tone. He's not sincerely, honestly, a hundred per cent okay and chill with the situation. He's faking casualness but he's not entirely it.

"It is."

"It's not. I'm just gonna die, Jeon." That makes him laugh even though you're only half-joking. You don't know if it's possible to die from embarrassment. One thing is for sure, if it's possible, you won't survive the night.

"No, you're not, baby. It's fine." Jeon Jungkook is the sweetest, needless to say. You should hang up. Apologize again, hang up and pray for him to forgive you and eventually forget all about it. But you remain on the phone because you're so desperate for his approbation and his love and any sign of reassurance from him. And he's giving it to you. When he could probably have a little rest of his own. If it's awkward for you, you can't even imagine for him. But he accepts to stay and reassures you. What a cutie. "Did you cum?"

You choke on your own saliva. More than taken aback, actually shocked. How dares he?

Or can you say that? Can you act offended when you've just done what you did? In any case, how are you even supposed to answer that question?

"You- It's just that I turned it off and we- I was just wondering if you did..." That sounds about right. That sounds like Jungkook being curious and wording this curiosity without necessarily anticipating how you'd take it. It must be part of his plan, his 'let's be the closest, let's share everything' plan he mentioned a few months back. You're not ready, won't ever be if that's what it'll look like.

You are the problem. Apparently, you can get yourself off when the poor boy is on the phone with you unbeknownst, but you still have a hard time talking about sex with him. "...because it sounds awful if you did not."

And it is. It is horrible. You'd imagine that after getting caught, feeling so embarrassed and guilty, your cunt wouldn't still be quivering and begging for you to pay attention to it again. But you've taken it so far. Made it discover new incredible sensations of course it'd still be obsessed with it and with the climax the toy teased it with.

You groan in your pillow again. Not sure how he'll interpret it. Not sure how you want him to interpret it. Should you just talk to him? He could hang up too. If really he didn't want to partake in this mess he could hang up, he could talk about anything else.

"Listen, you don't ever have to be embarrassed with me, you know that." That's reaching. You want to tell him that he can't ever say that to someone, he can't ever become anyone's mat to wipe their dirty shoes on. He should be the one feeling awkward, being mad at you, except he reassures you again. "And when you just proceed on getting yourself off while I was talking- worrying about your fucking health..." He snorts before he can finish. "How dare you act coy with me!" He's just laughing too hard now, contributing wholeheartedly to the burning flush on your cheeks. Well, you deserved it.

"Is that it? You're going to bring this up each time you'd want something from me?" You sound so upset, even to your own ears. It results in his laughter dying down pretty quickly.

"I think so, yeah." You don't add anything. You don't want to be rude. Still hope for any kind of magic word you don't even know that he could mutter to you and that'll help cure your heart and soul. Therefore you can't tell him goodbye and hang up. You wait for him to do it. Except he doesn't. It's late as fuck too. He might be working later today. Why isn't he hanging up? "If I'm talking about it, you should know that it's fine. I don't mind." An asshole and a cutie. "You okay, babe?"

The simple hum you tried to aim for turns into half of a whimper half of a moan. You're not okay. Any part of your being won't let you lie and pretend.

"Do you want me to turn it on?" For fuck's sake. "I'll hang up and leave it on so you just- it'll turn itself off when there's no battery left anyway."

"Jungkook." Your stern voice is a threat. It doesn't have to be further explained, he gets it.

"What?" He sounds aggravated. You can imagine him raising his hands to the skies, upset and losing patience as he's only trying to make it better for you and oh women are so complicated. Something like that. "Oh my God. Just get yourself off and feel better after."

"You don't tell me what to do." Childish but there's not much left of your brain. "Well, you don't even fucking know what to do with yourself right now. Am I right or am I right?" He whisper-yells back at you. Very mean.

"Asshole." It's a tiny whisper under your breath but you're certain he hears it even if he completely ignores it.

"Listen, since you can't even- how old are you, seriously?"

"Fuck you." Barely louder. You definitely know he's heard this time, but still, he decides to dismiss it. He's always been more productive than you.

"I'll turn it on and hang up. You take care of yourself like a big girl, alright?" He probably believes that you can't get yourself to ask for what you want aka a wild night with the fucking toy you can't get to work yourself. But it's not actually the case. Honestly. Now all you can think about -besides the whole very humiliating moment when he caught you in the act- is the way it kept torturing you, bringing you very high but never enough. It started to hurt at the end, brought impatient frustrated tears to your eyes. You don't even think you could finish with it.

Maybe it's inappropriate to seriously consider it. Maybe you won't ever learn your lesson.

Before you even get to word your refusal, the thing is on. It's on the same devilish setting as earlier. The merciless wave. Fuck.

"Don't! It's not- it won't even make me cum, stop it!"

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know the setting is weird." You start explaining through the thicker pout to have ever existed. You're really considering having him solve your climax. You've gone crazy.

"What's wrong with it? Tell me, I'll put on one you like."

Fuck.

You are doomed.

What are you supposed to do with a guy like this?

"I don't think there is." You can hear the frustration from his end before he even says a word. It's written in the stars that in a second he's going to bring it all up, the part when you got off and pester that you can't still be complaining about the fucking toy. "No, I mean it's- the one I liked, the last one you clicked on, it's like-" Fuck, you're really doing this. "A wave. You know? It grows crescendo but it always stops right before- right when it's really good. And I just couldn't- because the good part doesn't last long enough and, yeah."

"Wait, let me look." He sounds a bit further away from you then. He's logged back into the app, you can tell. And with his tiny "hm" and his "so...", he sounds the way he does when your computer is being difficult and he's trying to fix it because you won't pay a professional to do it when you have this nerd populating your entourage. "Ah. You want the high moment to last longer?" "Yes." You can picture him nod to himself, frowning his eyebrows and sucking his lips in the way he does when he's super focused.

"Like that?" You wouldn't know because the toy is lost somewhere, you can hear it but not see it. You ask him to wait for a second and it stops altogether. Doesn't make it easier to find it but it wasn't lost that far. Once you have it in your hand, you gulp, ashamed, not sure if you could ever play with this thing again. But the other guy on the phone doesn't seem to have his motivation falters. You're not the one telling him to try again, on his own, he executes.

It's hard to tell in your hand, the vibrating ears hugged tightly in your palm, if it's going to be satisfactory enough. If it's precisely the thing that was missing from earlier. It follows the pattern you asked him though. Still to a growing intense high that lasts for approximately a good ten seconds rather than the lame 2 seconds from earlier.

"I think so..."

"Okay then. You... mute yourself and then- Uh, no. I should mute myself so- or we both mute ourselves?" He's not really with you anymore. Lost in his own head amongst those seemingly very difficult questions. You don't even get where he's trying to get at. Wasn't he supposed to hang up?

"Why would you stay?"

"It's just- it's me doing it. There's no setting for what you want, it's me doing it. I have to draw the frequency on my phone."

"There's an option for that?"

"Yes. There's even one to have it follow audio!" He points out with way too much enthusiasm. He might have really found a new passion.

"Sounds like high tech."

"Yep."

"Sounds expensive as hell."

He laughs in the mic, snorts even before he brushes it off. Quite frankly, no matter what you'd have to say to him, he'd always do as he wishes. If spending ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous things for ridiculous you is what he wants to do, he won't let anyone, not even you, tell him not to.

You don't know what to say, he's not saying anything either. He suggested something quite insane: he'd stay. While his finger would be drawing shapes on his screen to actively give you your pleasure, he'd stay on the phone with you. Maybe it's a bit hypocritical or ironical, how it sounds crazy to you now while ten minutes ago, you had no problem doing it without him knowing. That's probably the main issue here, him knowing. That changes everything.

"But if you stay-"

"We can't both mute ourselves because I won't hear if you ask me to change something or- so you, you just stay like that and I'll mute myself."

"Jungkook, you muting yourself won't change my awareness of you being here."

"But maybe you'll forget about it?"

"Jungkook."

"What?" He sounds contrite then. Like an upset child who's being argued with. He's trying so hard but you make it so difficult, it seems.

There's just one thing holding you back. Until now you couldn't quite pinpoint it. And it's hard to resolve an issue you can't name.

But it just hit you. His way of insisting while making it seem like he does it for you only, to help you out and doesn't necessarily find his part in the cake.

"Do you want to?"

"Uh?"

"You sound like- I don't know what you sound like. You're confusing. If you're just trying to give me a hand and solely that then hang up and I'll just- whatever."

"Oh."

"Of course, it makes no sense for you to do this for me and stay if you don't want to, I mean." He takes forever to answer. For a second, you even peek at your screen wondering if he didn't simply quit the conversation.

It's really all you need to know. If somehow, to some extent, he wants you or at least, wants to partake in this genuinely. You don't want it if it's just a bro hand. You can hardly live with what you've done if he's utterly uninterested. But if he does want it, even a little bit, you might be wrong but you feel like everything would turn out to be fine.

"It's not that hard of a question." You try again because it almost feels like he's forgotten you from how long he's remained silent. He had put you on the spot, in this very conversation too, so many times, you have the right to do the same to him, at least once. "Do you want to stay?"

He cracks up. It's the very hard kind of laughter. With the boyish chuckles, mixed with the squeaky intakes of air. The one that always brings a smile to your face and usually drags you along the fit.

You have no idea what it means right now. It's probably the least appropriate time for it to show up. Therefore instead of making you smile it only reinforces the headache slowly growing at your temple.

"Aah." He starts by exhaling longly. You can hear the grin fixed on his face. "Yes." Your heart trips in your rib cage. You should have guessed it but you couldn't have imagined this answer. And him laughing to tears like a fucking deranged infant doesn't help. "Shit, sorry." He apologized when the remnant of what sounds definitely like a giggle resonates in through the phone.

"What's so funny, Guk?" Your words don't match your tone. You're high under pressure, unsure of what's actually going on. Jungkook is not cruel, you've known him long enough to know that he wouldn't deliberately hurt you, wouldn't mess with you so bad, for so long, even for a great laugh. Still, you can't be convinced that he's sincere. Seriously, how could you? The dude won't stop fucking laughing.

"Nothing, I'm just- I didn't realize until you asked me the question that I wanted to." Oh. "I'm an idiot."

"Welp." Could have told you sooner but I thought you knew.

"Mean. And, uh," It sounds like he's tossing and turning in bed again. You bet he's just gotten the exact same position as before. He's like those cats that turn around in circles again and again until they settle for the initial spot. When he starts talking again, his voice is hardly a whisper, you assume he's holding the mic very close to his mouth. "I should ask you too. Do you want to?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want it, moron." Patience has run thin. Now that you're reassured you don't have to be ashamed and embarrassed anymore, you can simply be annoyed as you get with him.

Honestly, you're still feeling abashed but he doesn't need to know that.

"Quit being mean. It's not my fault I'm slow." He says, faking deep pity and it does make you snort. "Okay, well..."

"Well, indeed."

"You're making this awkward!" You roll your eyes. Feels like you can sort this out. If you do take out the very blatant, scorching awkwardness, it's a very regular interaction between you. Sounds like any other day except in a second he's going to press a finger to his phone in hopes to make you cum.

"Your whole existence is awkward."

"Shut up. Let's just fucking start." He groans as if you're the one belating the initial step –you are but so is he.

"I don't have the fucking remote." He tells you to shut up again, and this time, when you hear him hum to himself when he's opening the app, there's a recognizable brushing noise falling directly in your ear.

"You put your earbuds on."

He doesn't answer but you're sure he's registered the question.

Fine.

If he doesn't want to give you an answer you'll just make up your own. Don't you put earbuds on to hear better? Just saying.

"Put the thing on."

"Oh my God, Jungkook-" You take back your own admission. He's the one, solely, all alone, making it painfully awkward. Sounding like a newly pubescent teen trying to initiate sex. "Could you be any smoother?"

"But-" He sighs. "Do you want me to?" How do you ask your best friend you've may have been in love with for officially a couple of months to please act like an ideal lover even if it's just very short-termed? He sounds willing. But asking is the most difficult part. "I can be- or do whatever you want, I just don't know-"

"I like it when you call me baby." Your whole face is scrunched up in a perfect picture of your intense embarrassment. Formalities need to get fucking out of the way and it's precisely what you've just tried to do. But holy shit, it's painfully embarrassing.

"Oh. Do you now?"

Here comes the smirk. Can't see it. Can hear it clearly. It's pretty much louder than his words even.

You want to tell him to forget it all. That it's not going to work if each fucking second he makes you feel like he's going to be using whatever you say or whatever you do against you later on. You decide to demonstrate exemplary patience, reminding yourself that he's not cruel. Admittedly.

Perhaps you're the idiot and it's all your fault. Because you've just admitted (without him even asking) that you like (and into these circumstances, that it turns you on) to have him call you baby. Thing that he does already every time he starts coddling you.

"Okay then." He startles you, clearing his throat. You wonder if he's as anxious as you are, or at least, a tiny bit nervous. For the most part, he doesn't seem like it. Then again, he's quite good at pretending.

It shows soon after when he starts again, this time with the gentle, soft voice he hardly ever uses with you. There's a tiny newcomer, a certain edge that gives it some firmness and that enchants you. That's exactly what you wanted him to be. "Put it on, babe."

You nod wordlessly, omitting that he can't see you and do as told. Slipping the toy under the waistband of your panties, guiding the ears aside your clit. There's a very faint buzzing coming from them. You barely feel it and you suppose it's just there to have you accommodate better.

"Are you still dressed?"

"It's just my panties and a big shirt." Your shirt you'd add if you had a bit more courage. You hope he's going to let you keep it.

"Take your panties off." The part of you who's his best friend wants to nag, tell him that maybe he should have asked that before demanding you place the toy on your cunt but you feel generous and merciful, and also desperate and tired of your orgasm being stalled for so long. "Are they soaked from earlier?" Okay, this shit's going to be hard. There's no coming back. Strangely, it's just now that it's really hitting you. Even if it's going well, there is no way, you'll ever forget his velvety smooth whisper saying those words. There's no way you're helpless cunt ever forgets.

They are, by the way. You don't even get how you've been able to keep them on and ignore the uncomfortable stickiness for this long. Just sliding them along your thighs feels disagreeable.

"Y/N." Sounds like you're getting scolded. And even if you particularly like the way he just said your name, with that same peculiar edge from earlier, a little sharper then, how are you supposed to answer that? "What did you say earlier? That it can't only be for you, is that right?"

"Yes." You admit sheepishly because now you're definitely getting scolded. It brings flush on your only newly temperate cheeks and you don't even hate it.

"Then I'll give you everything, I told you I would but I'll need you to give me some back. Can you do that?" He sounds so strict, how can you like it so much? You can literally feel the electricity along your spine, sliding down to go faint in the hot mess between your thighs and that's ridiculous. You hate being talked to that way, usually, probably because it's never him doing it. Jeon Jungkook might be your ultimate kink. And somehow, he figured it all out. That whatever he'd do would fit you perfectly well. Also, he might be turning like that because undeniably, you're a brat. "Can you?" He insists again because whilst you've been busy trying not to hyperventilate, he's been waiting for one answer.

"Yes. Yes, I can. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's fine." You should want to bite him. Why insist so much if it's to end up leaving you off the hook so easily? You know though, for a fact, awfully bothersome to your ego, that if he were in front of you presently, you'd give him puppy eyes and batting lashes, sad pouty lips and probably tend your neck to invite him to gently pat your hair. "Tell me, are your panties soaked?" "I think I ruined them..."

"You did, didn't you?" He's laughing a bit, kind of full of himself for some reasons. Maybe he knows that it's mainly his fault they ended up this way. Maybe he knows they are not the only pair fallen victim to simply the thought of him. "Was it worth it?"

"You're taking care of me so I'd say yes." A chortle. A purr that you interpret into something you like a lot. It sounds like he's taken your response for exactly what you wished him to. A tease. He makes your belly churns and twists, turns your nerves from your heart to your noggins haywire. The least he can allow you to do, the least you'd like to do, is for him to be affected by you.

It starts with a gentle buzzing. It's nothing much. Nothing at all, you'd say if you'd let your greediness and impatience talk. There's something else doing it for you, for now. Jungkook's breath, sort of heavy, slow, rocking you with warmth. Knowing he's here and here to please you; you're laid in bed, naked from the waist down, wet and about to make it all better thanks to him; the picture itself makes it all for you.

"How is it?" Jungkook asks after some time. It's been silent. You haven't said much, in fact, you haven't said anything yet. Not that ready to demand more, and not feeling enough for moans or whimpers or whatever to be stolen from you.

"Boring." You admit. "S'not what you were supposed to give me." Through a thick pout, you deplore.

It doesn't work. He doesn't care. He doesn't fucking care when he's playing exactly the role you've implicitly asked him to play. "Have you said please, even once?" You hate that he's virtually pinning you down with exactly what turns you on.

"I- Probably." You haven't said much. You haven't been so explicit, so telling simply because you couldn't, but surely, you said please. Didn't you?

"Not probably. You did not. And on top of that, you're complaining." He's figured out exactly what you wanted, what you needed. Therefore, as naturally as it came for him, you fit it your own role easily.

"I'm not complaining. I was just- pointing it out. Sorry."

"You can apologize a lot but you can't even say please. Not once." Well, fuck. You never thought that he could be mean. Awfully mean. You wished, when you let your mind wander there one too many time, a bit too deep, that he'd be like that. Sweet and soft and tender the way he is, always, but also, bad, kind of harsh. "Ask kindly, once."

"Jungkook-"

"I'll give you everything you want. Just once."

"Please, Jungkook." You know he's satisfied with what you offer him because you don't have to wait another second for him to give you precisely what you were waiting for. It's timid, follows the crescendo built you were looking for except it's not intense. It's the first step however it's incredibly effective. It feels as good as the first time. "Plea-please." Manifestly, it is the secret word, the passcode to your pleasure because the intensity you're craving for finally reaches you. It does in an electrifying peak, that lasts long, just like you asked, it's so good, the feeling so perfectly indulgent to your needs, maybe even too much, you squirm, part the little ears from your clit, hissing. "Shit, Jungkook!"

"Too much, baby?" The hypocrite, with his concerned tone, doesn't even take a break from activating the vibration, from keeping on building the intensiveness. You can tell it's he too, him really doing it live, as in it's not absolutely regular, the built sometimes takes longer, sometimes the volume stronger, other times weaker. It's undeniable, every minute of it feels different from the next, you can't even omit for a second that it's him doing it. And he's doing it so well.

"Per- fect, just- sensitive." You moan out. Back arching, right leg twitching. The next brush is particularly nice, goes so far you believe you might come on the spot. Now you definitely can't hold back even if you wanted to. The sounds that come out of your mouth, foreign to your own ears, are not even yours. They come straight from your body, straight from an excess of pleasure you try to deal with, to handle, when you clearly can't. You're alone, and it's you ultimately controlling the power on your own body, you can pull out, even slightly, every time it comes hard and strong and you ought to twitch uncomfortably. You wonder how it'd be if he were here with you. If he forgot just for a while that you were his best friend, the girl who used to be older and taller and has turned, with the years, into this tiny little thing because he just kept on growing and growing, sprouting like a fucking redwood, and now feels like he needs to protect and care for you. If he were there, and he could forget that, you bet, his present voice, heated, scorching, is telling you this, that probably, he'd hold you down, crush your body with his, hand pressing your thighs down and apart, and force you to take the pleasure in its entirety. You imagine him merciless, slipping sweet words in your ear, while he'd have you literally scream from overstimulation.

And then his voice, the perfectly alluring thing, concludes to let you know it won't happen like that. His voice will make you come.

"You sound so good." Especially, if he keeps saying shit like that, with this tone, soft yet strong and highly, terribly affected. He's breathing hot and heavy in your ears. Is he touching himself?

"Please, Jungkook." You implore, vainly, hips slowly grinding against the toy, pressed by your palm on your sensitive centre.

"Especially begging, 'sound so, so good." He's not touching himself. He sounds bothered, but not enough, he doesn't stutter like you do, his voice doesn't jump and dip, stops momentarily like yours does. Shit, you wished he would play with his cock. Fuck, you want to play with his cock. So fucking bad.

"Y-you like it?" You ask, not because you're curious to know, he's said it already, but because you won't ever get tired of hearing him say it, in all those different ways.

"I do, baby. I love hearing you." You can't help the curse that leaves your lips a bit harsh. You're so close. So so close. Eyes filled up to the brim, tip of your nose wet. How many times have you thought, already, that you were seriously going to fall over? "You gonna cum?"

"I can't-" You sob, whine. There's a tear spilling from your right eye. "It's too much." So attentive to your every word, the intensity drops drastically. It still buzzes, discreet, way more tolerable. Ironically, if you can now bear it, you know it's not enough to lead you to your climax either. "Help me, make me cum, Guk."

"Use your fingers." He's been nice, essentially, you can only be good to him. Without even having to think about it, you dip your fingers in the mess that is your cunt. Two fingers slip in between your lips too easily, you could add a third if only there wasn't the bunny taking a bit too much room, and your fingers were longer, and your hips not so twitchy. If Jungkook was here, if only he was here, he'd fit his two fingers and it'd be enough. You bet it'd be enough. You bet his pretty, long, tattooed fingers would stretch you so well and make you come in a heartbeat. "Fuck yourself with them."

It's so gratifying. Having him humming in your ear encouragements and compliments. He's sweet, sweet, sweet. Excellent with his voice. Fuck, he must be unreal with his fingers, with his mouth, with his fat cock.

Diligently, you drag your fingers in and out, it's only mildly agreeable when you're sopping wet, almost gaping. Until he draws on his phone the same magnificent pattern from before.

You wish it'd last longer. It's precisely what you needed, the ideal combination. Along with his words.

You know if you come he'd have to stop. He'll stop calling you baby, stop saying how sexy you are, use all those nasty words he never does and talking like that, with this voice, with this heat in his tone. It's a bothering thought at the back of your mind you have to actively push away.

There's nothing you can do when harshly, yet with a please, he demands you to cum.

You can feel your cunt, wide open from both your spread legs and the excitation, getting wet, growing soaked. You can actually feel it as it happens before you explode. Clenching violently around your fingers, spilling all over them, you might squeak and scream and moan his name continuously, you barely hear yourself through your ringing ears.

"Fuck, Jungkook..." You sigh. Laying there, boneless, hand dripping up to your wrist. He's chuckling. "Fuck."

"Feeling better?" You hmm in response. Words sound like too much effort right now. Your brain is working slow. Extremely slowly. There's a multitude of thoughts forming though, germinating from a strange ground.

One, in particular, does, enlarging ridiculously much next to the others. You could enjoy this luck. You could just bathe in the lovely, perfect haze. Accept that the sky is perfectly blue without a cloud, with even a rainbow somewhere. Maybe a double rainbow even.

There's a very, very dark, very, very large cloud invading your perfect sky though. And because tears, of another kind, have already located your eyes, the new ones fit in, mixing up with them and taking over them with utter ease. What the fuck have you done?

"Jungkook, I'm so sorry-" You start with a tremble in the voice. There's a fat lump in your throat.

"Why? What's going on, baby?" He's sweet as honey, back to his usual self, worried, and you're horrible.

"Your- I didn't even think about her and-" There's a sob bubbling out of your mouth. "It's not me. I didn't mean to-"

"What are you talking about?"

"Jiyeun." The taste in your mouth when you say her name, is unbearable. You know full fucking well you shouldn't say her name. You shouldn't be allowed to. How dare you. Spoil it when you spent way too long virtually getting in this guy's, who's someone else's boyfriend, pants.

"Dumbass." It makes you choke on your own sobs. "It's over. With her, I mean. We broke up." Ah. You want to ask a billion questions. Starting with "again?". Soon followed up by a "why didn't you say anything, dickhead?". You spent the whole fucking night, getting shit faced and spiritually crying in the club over a couple that does not even exist anymore. Then you'd ask for how long they are planning to be over. "For good, this time." You're barely drying up your fat crocodile tears when he calls you an idiot again, says something about how he's not that kind of guy and you should know it.

Feels better. The thunderstorm is gone.

Alcohol and horniness and hardcore loving are such a terrible combo you need to avoid.

"Cuddles." Tiredly, half-dead, but still alive enough to be greedy, to feel sensible, skinned and want him to give you more. "Come cuddle." He's late to answer, delays it as if you don't desperately need his response.

It's terribly quiet and still. The dark of the night seems even more sombre. He can fix everything if only he'd give you the answer you desire.

"You sure?"

"Always." You say, maybe too honest. He doesn't seem to mind, agrees with a snort.

"Alright."

He appears in front of you in the blink of an eye. Literally. That blink does last longer than usual. The orgasm may have crushed you. You close your eyes and when you open them back up, he's here. Standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, dressed in all black and oversized, as usual. You look up, eyes squinted, bothered by the light coming from the hallway. He's staring. Gaze brushing, from your head to your toes, seemingly slowing down when they reach your naked thighs.

"What?" You mumble, embarrassed, one hand sliding down just to make sure the hem of the shirt is covering your crotch. You didn't even put your panties back on. You may or may not have wiped yourself clean enough with the wet wipes wisely sitting on your bedside table -you thought about it really hard but you can’t remember if you actually did it.

"You never mentioned it was my t-shirt you were wearing." You shrug. You'd have a better come back if you weren't so tired and if it wasn't simply true. "Would have been nice to know." He says, kneeling down next to your bed. The latter is low, mattress barely raised from the ground and even when he's crouching down, he's hovering above you, looking down on you. "Easier to picture." He adds quieter the closest he comes to you. It's enough words to know who he is at the moment. In what form, what version of your Jeon Jungkook, has come to visit. It's the gentle one. The one whose voice doesn't raise, doesn't feel as animated as his usual one when he spends his time being a clown to make everyone laughs. The one that made you fall, the first time. Not exactly the one you had on the phone with you earlier and even if you like him, if you adore him in fact, you feel sort of uneasy, worried. He might be gone forever, this one.

Unless it is him. His hands reach forward, large and warm, they lie on your thighs. The fingers brush up a bit, to the hem of his shirt, and they stop there. He looks up from them, straight in your eyes, smiles, digs the tips in the meat of your thighs before he lifts you up, aiming for the border of your bed.

God. You hope it'll happen again. But differently. More in-depth. He'd be less dressed, he would manhandle you, before he'd do some unnamable things to you. But another day. One when you're not almost dead. When you feel hornier and less soft and desperate for direct comfort to your swollen heart. It could be tomorrow when you wake up. If he's up for it. Please God, make it so he's up for it.

Jungkook hops on the bed behind you, huffs comfortably, holding your cover by a corner to bring it up and over the two of you. He fits behind you too naturally for it to be the first time. He doesn't seem to mind that you're so underdressed, compared to the other times, that you still have some remnant of your orgasm on you, that it's different. His arm sliding around you, holding a bit too tight, pressing you a tiny bit too hard, you're still hot from earlier. It's perfect though. You don't want him to move an inch and you hope, the hand that's wrapped on his forearm, makes him understand.

"M'not too clingy?" His own cheek pressed hard to your own, he asks, which is weird. How could he still wonder? He's never ever been too clingy. Even when you were kids and he followed you around before even asking if he could, he wasn't too clingy. The closest, the better. You deny with a uh-uh. He calls out for your name when you're fighting to keep your eyelids open. It's the most comfortable, the warmest you've ever felt. Like a cocoon of pure love and adoration. On top of it, there's his hard arms around you, his hard thigh pushing against yours, his crotch -with the feel of his member, slightly stiff- glued to your butt, and his chest, as hard as the rest, holding your back up like a strong wall. "I promise I didn't plan the whole toys thingy for that."

"For what?" Sleepily, you wonder, actually confused from exhaustion. To cuddle with you? Like you haven't in so, so long. Why would he try to apologize for it? "To use them with you."

"What a shame." You don't think he can understand. Diction is not something you care for at the moment. The hard laugh bubbling in his chest, rumbling, shaking your whole, lets you know he did, in fact, get it.

"You're so-" He starts but the thought dies way too soon for you to even try and complete it yourself. "I'll have a billion questions for you tomorrow."

"No." You whine. Because he's fucking up everything. If he believes you'll say it all to him, there's no way you can. There's no way you will. He chuckles.

Doesn't seem to be taking you seriously.

"Yes. And you'll answer every single one of them." He gives a sweet but pressing kiss to your neck.

"No."

"I adore you." Fucking hell. "I broke up with Jiyeun because I adore you too much. I realized I want to spend all my time and energy on my best friend." You don't even know what he means. You can't even hold your eyelids open now, you can't even keep your hand on his arm, it being too heavy and sleep having taken over most of your body.

You bet he's saying that just because he's guessed it. He's figured you all out and the asshole doesn't mind playing with your soft heart. He knows he'll get anything from you if he's this good. Hopefully, tomorrow, he'll have forgotten about his little interrogation because you're not sure you'll be able to lie. For now, he's holding you way too close for you to care. Whatever. May it last forever, this feeling.

A/N: DON’T HATE ME OKAY?! i know i have an issue with angst and endings, for some reasons, i don’t want to hurt my characters but i can’t get myself to write an actual fully happy, non-ambiguous conclusion, and i’m really sorry for it lmao.

i sincerely hope you enjoyed the last part of The Wishlist! Thank you immensely for anyone who’s followed along, please let me know your thoughts, i really really want to know :)

for now, i’m sending you lots of love and kisses, take good care of yourself and others, see ya very very soon :]

tag list: @safi4x​ @kai-kai-bookshelf​ @somewhereinthestarss​ @hsinmyheart​ @moonchild1​ @monvieesdaebak @pasteljoonie​ @fangirls94​ @jinsalpaca​ @ggukkieland​

[artzychic27]

Pride Month is right around the Corner! Yay! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Marinette, Kim, and Nino- The Trio of Transcendenceness... Ness 🏳️‍⚧️

Marinette, Kim, and Nino have been best friends since birth, and do pretty much everything together

If some rando were to look at them, they’d think it’s odd that Marinette likes to wear pink and gaze starry-eyed at dresses in store windows while Kim and Nino like to play with action figures and shop for clothes in the boys’ section

And people swore they saw them get teary-eyed whenever someone said their birth names

Tom and Sabine sort of just knew that Marinette was somewhere on the trans spectrum, and let their so- daughter buy whatever outfits she wanted and grow her hair out

Marinette: I wanna be a princess when I grow up!

Rando: Don’t you mean a prince?

Marinette: No! I’m the Princess of princes!

She officially came out when she was seven

Her parents were supportive. Confused, but supportive. They even made her a three layered cake with Trans flags toppers

She named herself after a princess she read about in a book

Kim and Nino did everything they could to help their sister

Nino gave her the makeup kit he never uses and a bunch of his hair accessories

Kim gave her some clothes he doesn’t like wearing

Whenever someone asks what happened to their friend, [CENSORED]. Kim and Nino say their friend went on a long trip and is never coming back

Kim was second to come out when he was nine

He loved how carefree Marinette looked after she had what he and Nino call her “Gender Awakening”

He was confused about some things though, and asked her to explain how she came to the conclusion that she wasn’t a guy

Marinette: Well, I never liked how people kept calling me by my old name, and whenever I had to wear boy’s clothes, my skin crawled a bit.

Kim: ... I’m trans, I wear pants, deal with it!

His parents were very supportive and his mom even threw a one-woman pride parade in the backyard

Kim: Is mom okay?

Kim’s dad: She’s just happy for you. Now let’s go get you a haircut, young man before you look like a hippie.

In Vietnamese, Kim means gold/metal (A little reference to the gold medals he’s one in sports)

Marinette made him a custom binder that’s red with a gold star on the front

Nino cut his hair and is even learning how to contour so he can do Kim’s makeup to make him look more masculine

Finally, Nino came out when he was ten. He just figured it out on his own like Marinette

Nino: Your daughter’s dead, dudes. I’m taking over her room.

Chris: *Stares in awe* That is... awesome!

His parents supported him wholeheartedly

He chose his name because it’s Spanish for boy

Marinette made him a binder and she and Kim took Nino clothes shopping

Since they’re all best friends, they wanna do everything together

When they were ten, the three of them started taking their hormones

On dysphoria days, they’ll get under a big blanket and snuggle up while watching Disney movies until they fall asleep. Nino and Marinette would sandwich Kim in the middle while he wrapped his arms around them

Sometimes they wear matching hoodies that are a few sizes too big and just hide everything

On their first day of collége, all three of them were dead named in one of their classes since the school didn’t update their names

Word spread. Long story short, Kim and Nino beat up a boy who deadnamed Marinette and asked for “proof”

Their classmates were very supportive and always corrected teachers who accidentally say their dead names during role call

Many guys who had crushes on Marinette offered to beat up or threaten anyone harassing her

Nathaniel (Before meeting Marc) almost framed one of her bullies for murder

The swim team wore gender neutral swimwear so Kim wouldn’t feel like the odd one out until he got his surgery

Guys will always put emphasis on ‘Dude’ whenever talking to Nino

Students offered to stand guard whenever they used the bathroom in case anyone tried anything else

When Alya and Adrien came along, they were all so nervous. Sure, most of the school was pretty tolerant, but what if someone outs them and the new students turn out to be bullies in their own class?!

Once again, they were outed by some asshole Damocles won’t expel for some shit reason

Alya beat the asshole to a pulp (Which caused Nino’s crush on her to start) while Adrien treated his three new friends to ice cream

When they started dating and Nino was feeling dysphoric, Alya will say things like: “My boyfriend is the manliest man ever.”

... Ah, fuck it! Bring out the Miraculous!🐞🐈‍⬛🐢

Marinette is Ladybug/Nino is Carapace/Kim is Mèo đen (They all know each other’s identities because they opened the boxes together in Marinette’s room)

Thanks to a little magic, they have the bodies they’ve always dreamed of having

One Akuma they faced was some transphobic dick who they did not go easy on. Carapace and Mèo đen had to reluctantly keep Ladybug from murdering him in front of a bunch of people

Now, Lila? (I can’t go one second without Lila salt) She’s a new member of the assholes club but doesn’t know others know Marinette, Kim, and Nino are trans

She runs into class sobbing like a dumb [BLEEP] and whines about how Marinette assaulted her in the bathroom

The class was not amused and Lila never did become popular

Then the big day came. They were eighteen and they got their surgery together in the same hospital

Doctors and nurses gushed over how sweet it was three best friends were taking this huge step together

Kim and Nino’s first act was to burn their bras. Marinette even joined in even though she needed hers’

🏳️‍⚧️ Okay, onto the Pride headcanons! 🏳️‍⚧️

Some consider them Trans icons

It’s not every day a group of best friends come out as Transgender and get their surgery on the same day

They go to Pride every year, and thanks to Marinette, they’re always the best dressed

Their outfits mainly consist of sleeveless hoodies, crop tops, sandals, and bedazzled shorts and capes

Every time Marinette inhales, a terf gets punched

Every time Marinette exhales, a trans kid gets a cupcake

Mari makes pride capes, bedazzles them, and passes them out at parades

Kim is very popular with the drag Queens.

He is a lip sync god

Children love him and always ask for piggyback rides

He’s notorious for making flower crowns for the kids

Nino takes on the role of the mom friend when they got to pride

He once put Mari and Kim on those baby leashes so they wouldn’t wander off

He also supplies juice boxes and snacks

After their surgery, Nino and Kim pass out their old binders.

Kim’s would definitely look like sports jerseys

Nino’s binders are neon and one even glows in the dark

He wears hoodies no matter how hot it is

Marinette: Nino, take that off!

Nino: *Sweating more than the average person* No!

Marinette once beat up a terf who was harassing Kim and Nino for being “traitors to their sex”

The terf left with bruises and a small crush

[the-shiftshop]

Hey Diary - Part 4

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3 and SIDE STORY 1 of the Hey Diary Series

The day ended unexpectedly fun. Everyone was so confused why Keith and I had been laughing together, eating together and even sitting side by side in class today as if Keith never had bullied me. Some even tried to confront us, asking if Keith held me hostage. Keith had been dragging me all around with him. He even asked me to play ball with Peter and Tom, who seemed more closer than usual. I would make assumptions that my recent changes are still affecting them, but I already had deleted that log, and these two would, time by time, give hints that they’re nothing more than a friend, so I shrugged it off.

On my way home, I couldn’t get the fun out of my system. I finally felt so free to move. It’s like I can finally do whatever I want and be whatever I want to be.

Then I suddenly remembered what Keith had asked me this morning.

“Make me old enough to be a teacher for a day.”

It got me thinking about what he’s planning to do once more. It’s not that I don’t trust Keith. It’s just that I’m wondering what his goal is. It’s probably just because he wants to experience being old, or being a teacher. He looked so exhilarated when I told him all about the Diary App, so I’m pretty sure he just wants to give it a try.

At home, I didn’t waste anymore time to tinker with the app as I am very tired and I already want to fall asleep. I carefully wrote down on the app, thinking of the desired outcome I am aiming for.

Monday

Hey Diary,

Today was fun. It felt like I was friends with Keith, Peter and Tom ever since the first day we met. We all had fun together and it felt like all my problems are fixed. This morning, I talked to Keith about this Diary App. I have trusted Keith on this, and I do hope he wouldn’t take that for granted. He was super amazed with this app and the ability of it to change reality and he specifically gave me one request.

I wish that would come true, I wish Keith would turn into the person he want him to be just for a day, and that he would be aware of any changes that may occur.

With that properly typed out, I pressed save, then in just a few seconds, I lost consciousness on my bed.

---------

As soon as Felix fainted in his room, Keith was lying on his bed in the frat house, tossing and turning as he feel his body contort in uncomfortable ways. It wasn’t painful. It just felt like his body is growing far more foreign in every seconds that pass by. It’s like his body wanting to grow numb, but he can still feel pain if he try to pinch himself. With his fingers still pinching his cheeks, he noticed hair poking out to them. He proceeded to feel his face with both his hands, realizing that he’s growing a full beard. Finally recognizing what’s going on, he stopped moving around, and he instead just lied on his back and let it all happen.

He moved his hands down to his growing torso, feeling each muscles expand in his touch. He’s growing, that’s for sure, and it’s not just his body. His mind started to fog up a little, making him wince for a bit.

“I should be working on my lessons for tomorrow-” He blurted out unconsciously. He stopped himself midway, realizing what he had just said. That was the first time he said that. And not only that he meant he’ll study for a lesson, he knows he meant that he’s the one teaching them tomorrow.

He finally decided to stand up. His eyes widened when he saw that it had suddenly gone dark. Not only that, but his beddings changed. His shock soon changed into amusement when we quickly see the night change into day then back to night simultaneously, starting off slow, then it sped up. Even the weird feelings all over his body start to feel more prominent. Memories of years of teaching poured out into his brain. Names of all the student he should know popped out in his mind. Charles, that up-to-no-good student but gets straight As in his class; Marie, that campus nerd who kept asking him weird questions; Lawrence, that jock who needs to keep up with his quizzes. Keith already knew some of these students, but he started to see them in a different light. These are the students he teach, not his friends, not his classmates, not his football teammates.

Keith fell back on his knees as he started to feel tiredness.

It was exhausting feeling all of these happen in just a few minutes. It hurts his eyes to see the outside change between night and day as if like flashing images. His vision started to blur and in replace to his clear sight, a thick round glasses appear on his face.

He remember finishing college and finally started his first practice teaching. Now he’s a fully pledged professor. Everyone liked him. He can even remember students confessing their feelings for him, but of course, declining these for his job. He can remember going into classrooms, not to sit with the crowd, but to stand in front of them. He knows how to make a hard topic fun and he knows his students enjoy his class as much as how he loves to teach.

Tiredness was replaced with pleasure as he arched his back, placing both hands on his crotch, then giving a loud satisfying moan. Feeling his cock ballooned through his shorts. He slowly humped against his hands as he put more pressure on them.

He remember tons of hook ups from college up to recent. Remembering women bouncing on him, kissing him passionately, touching him with deep romantic and sexual connection. These thoughts of women is making him hard. His colleagues had been asking him why he haven’t been properly dating anyone yet, or even planning to marry anyone since he’s already nearing age of marriage, but he just enjoys having flings with a lot of people more than sticking to one, at least, for now. He knows when he will find that right person, and that person has not come yet.

He realized that both of his hands are already in his underpants, pawing that hard cock with one hand, while the other is teasing his tip. He finally had let both of his hands stroke his large shaft. He pulled his cock out of his shorts, then finally gave into pleasure.

“A-Ah! Yeah! Damn!” He cussed in his new deeper voice. Not only that he noticed his voice, he realized that his cursing got more softer, less of that slurs, but more of that expression used to show immense satisfaction. “Aww.. This feels so...”

He cut himself as he finally real his climax, cumming all of what seemed like a 14 year stock of cum all over the floor. The cum stain on the floor disappeared soon enough and his room straightened up more. Finally the quick changing of time came to a full stop.

It was morning and it’s time to take a shower and go to school.

---------

Wish was completed. Please take a picture and attach to the log to confirm change and to keep the new reality.

I stared at the pop-up message in my phone. Peter and Tom are laughing beside me while they eat their lunch. I haven’t seen Keith since morning. I’m kinda worried if I messed up with something. The suspense is killing me and I don’t like this. Tom waved a hand in front of me.

“Dude. You’re been staring in your phone since the time you got here. You fine?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just wondering where Keith has gone to.” I said.

“Keith? Who’s Keith?” Tom asked, before giving me a shocked face. “You don’t mean Professor Keith, right?” He chuckled, “Didn’t know he’s your type.” He joked.

I gave him a confused look, then realizing what he meant, I quickly tried to reply back. “N-No! It’s not like that-”

“Tom, don’t tease him. Let him like whoever he likes.” Peter laughed.

“I mean, I should’ve been saying the same. But then, who wouldn’t fall head over heels for Professor Keith? He’s damn ripped. Unlike the other professors here who focus on growing their stomach and ego, more than growing their muscles.” Tom continued eating his food.

Keith’s a professor now, huh? I guess it worked.

After lunch, we proceeded to class. More than usual, everyone had been talking about Keith. I was sitting on my chair, still staring in my phone as it display the same message. I haven’t used this phone on anything else yet.

My attention switched to Alex who walked in front of me. I haven’t seen Alex in 2 days. He looks like he wants to ask me something. I looked at him and he opened his mouth. “Hey, Felix, uhm... Can we talk-”

“Okay, class back to your seats.”

A deep voice came booming through the room. Everyone sat back to their chairs, including Alex who looks disappointed.

I looked at the man by the whiteboard. He was wearing a denim dress shirt and a black jeans. His round glasses flare with the florescent light in the room. Everyone in the room is staring at him. Most girls are looking at him with hearts in their eyes.

The man dropped his things on the table, then started roaming his eyes around the room. “Before we start our lesson. Felix, a word.” He called onto me. I looked around to see everyone looking to my direction, most of them in shock. “Come now.” He said, walking out the room.

I hurried out to follow him somewhere. He didn’t bother looking back, and I just rushed to follow him. He finally stopped where there are barely no students around. He sat down by the window and stared at me. I just stared at him back, looking from his head to toe. He scuffed and gave me a short chuckle.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He grinned.

“I- Uhm. Sorry, prof. I don’t swing-”

“Nah! I’m messing with you, man!” He laughed. “It’s me! Keith! Well, it’s Professor Keith for you now.”

My eyes widened. This man is Keith. It worked. I mean why am I so surprised right now? I’m the one who knows about this Diary App.

“I’m enjoying this knowledge so much! I know about A LOT of stuff I never knew before. So this is how it feels to be a professor.” He flexed, touched his muscles, and basically showed off. He pulled out an apple and tossed it around. “A students gave this to me today. I never received any offer from anyone.”

“You like it?” I asked him.

“I like it? I LOVE IT! Though, I might not stay like this forever, at least I don’t want to.” He replied.

I raised my eyebrows. “Why?” I asked him.

“Well... For now I want to enjoy being this kind of adult.” He answered.

He stopped for a while, running his fingers against his chin. He then took a bite from the apple he was holding, chewing it thoroughly, then swallowing.

“The reason why I’m asking your help is... I want to experience being different people for the whole week.”

[beomglocks]

sk8ter boi ; c.bg

summary : he was a boy, she was a girl. can i make it anymore obvious?

pairing : skaterboy!beomgyu x reader

warnings & other : reader already has a child with yeonjun ok, beomgyu still pining after all these years, based off queen avril lavigne’s sk8ter boi song, listen while reading if you want 

w/c : 2.1K (i may have gotten carried away)

"where'd you get that note and roses from?" your friend maria asks you when you get into class. you wipe away your smile quickly, already knowing who the mystery person was. "i don't know."

yeah, of course you knew. how could you not when the boy oh so clumsily shoved them in your locker while you were literally turning the corner. he tried to act like he wasn't doing anything but he was clearly caught. he tried to play it off in the best way possible and smooth talk his way into a conversation with you but you shut him down due to the bell ringing.

"oh- oh ok sure...yeah," beomgyu stumbled over his words, nervousness eating away at him with you being here. "yo gyu you coming? i just finished fixing my drum kit," his friend, jeongin, calls him over, interrupting your already over conversation.

"you should go...but thanks for whatever you just threw in my locker," you laugh. he nods hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "dude," jeongin now stands in your vicinity. he looks at you and beomgyu before pulling away his best friend to where the spare band room was.

"well open the letter, we wanna know who your little secret admirer is," maria says, leaning onto your desk. your other friends agree, eager to know who was pining over you. you laugh nervously before opening it. you're not sure how they'll react to finding out that it's beomgyu.

you see, you wouldn't exactly call yourself the prettiest girl in the school but hell it sure was close. almost everyone would compliment you every day even if it was something minor like a change in your nail color. you kind of prided yourself in that, not to gas yourself up or anything.

someone like beomgyu...well. he wasn't exactly the ideal guy, to put it simply. he was a skater boy, he hung out with the "simple boys" who skated and did music and hung out around the skate parks after school. he wasn't the scholar type like soobin or the athlete type like yeonjun, he was simple.

you liked simple but your friends didn't. they had preferences for people like soobin and yeonjun, not people like beomgyu. you could probably guess they felt like beomgyu was the bottom of the barrel, like a roach on their foot not worthy of their time.

you pull the letter out of the envelope. for some reason without even trying, you could smell his cologne all over it. you want to smile at the obvious try hard gesture but your friends don't allow it. "what the fuck is that smell, it's so strong," maria gags. you roll your eyes at her dramatics. "it doesn't smell that bad."

"yes the fuck it does," she retorts. "just see what it says." you read over the letter, smiling at certain parts where you could tell he'd done his research on the things you liked. "it's from beomgyu," you say when you finish the letter. you already knew this anyway but maria's eyes go wide and she suddenly snatches the letter from your grasp. "hey!"

"CHOI beomgyu?" she asks while she reads the letter herself. "yeah?" you confirm.

your other friends mumble amongst themselves and you can hear some snicker. "y/n you could do so much better. beomgyu is like a street rat or something. don't do that to yourself," she laughs like it's the funniest thing she's ever said. you don't think beomgyu's that bad but you also don't stand up for him, simply biting your lip as she continues.

"he barely comes to school and when he does all he does is sleep. he skates with those other weirdos and thinks he's gonna make it big with his shitty guitar playing- i mean have you heard him?" she rolls her eyes, throwing the letter back on your desk. "you should go out with yeonjun, i think yall would be a cute couple. the prettiest girl with the coolest guy, your babies would be so damn cute."

"babies?!" you laugh at her ridiculousness. "yes! have you seen choi yeonjun?" she sighs in content. "anyways, don't pay beomgyu any mind because he's not gonna make it in life. go for someone like yeonjun and please for the love of god throw that letter away!"

you never did throw the letter away. you sigh as you think back to your high school years. you had just found it hidden behind one of the closet drawers while you were looking for valkyrie's binkie. she was crying so much since her father had gone out for the day and you were stuck taking care of her, as always.

you wonder how beomgyu was doing. you both talked after the fact but fell off during college since he had gone off to do his own thing. you didn't know what that thing was but you were proud of him nonetheless. you finished high school, went to college, got a good paying job, and were now married with a kid. all at the young age of 21. the typical life, you figure.

you're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear your child crying in the next room. "shit," you mumble to yourself. you leave the letter in your drawer and head back to the living room with the binkie. "valkyrie~" you sing song.

she continues crying, not giving a fuck about your efforts to calm her. she was usually a bit of a daddy's girl. "val please stop crying," you exasperate. "daddy's not coming home until late today. cut me some slack babygirl."

you slip the binkie into her mouth but her shrill cries go right through it. "let me go see if you need a diaper change," you mutter.

before you can even get up from the couch you hear your phone ring from somewhere in the couch. "shit where did i put my phone?" you put valkyrie down to look for your phone but it stops ringing before you can begin searching. you wait for it to ring again you find it between the cracks of the couch.

"oh hey mari," you say in confusion. after high school ended, you and maria kind of fell off along with all your other popular friends. you still had that clout all throughout college given who you were dating but you kind of strayed away from her. you guys were still on speaking terms though but this call was odd since it had been months since the last time she called.

"GIRL-" she pauses for a moment, still as dramatic as ever. "what it is mari? val won't stop crying she needs attention," you sigh, looking over at your daughter. her cries had gotten softer but she was still grumpy about not being with her father.

"girl turn on your tv to MTV right now- like right now before you miss it!" she says hurriedly. "this better be good you know i dont watch those shows," you say into the phone. you place the phone between your ear and shoulder so you can hold valkyrie while watching whatever it was that maria wanted you to watch.

then you see it. "is that-?" you begin. "CHOI beomgyu! yes girl!" maria finishes your sentence. she's right. there he is, the boy you were just thinking about was on your tv screen. "he's famous?" you ask.

maria sucks her teeth, "apparently after high school and like a year or two of college, he dropped out to pursue a music career and i guess it worked out for him." you nod even though she can't see you. "he signed with a label and now he's in like some super fucking famous band, look at him," she continues.

you stare at your tv screen in silence, watching beomgyu have the time of his life on the MTV stage. he really did get good on his guitar. the camera pans to the drummer and your eyes go wide when you see jeongin. wow, they really stayed together this whole time.

"he's fine as hell," you admit. you hear maria cackle on the other side, "you said it, he looks so attractive playing guitar like that, look at his fingers."

"ok alright maria, i have a child right next to me," you say. she laughs again, "anyways, i got tickets to their next show. you wanna come with?"

you're not sure how you managed to convince yeonjun to stay home with the baby while you went out with maria to this concert, but you did it. he was skeptical of letting you go out with what you were wearing which is why you both argued before you eventually stormed out to go anyways.

when you met up with maria outside the venue she looked up and down with a knowing smile. "i thought that pussy belonged to mr. choi yeonjun? what're you all dressed up for?"

"dressed up?" all you were wearing was a black and white bandana for a top and tight leather pants and comfortable shoes. "do the pants really have to hug your ass like that though?" she jokingly slaps your butt and you glare at her. "that's what yeonjun said," you mumble to yourself.

the concert goes smoothly and you're glad you actually got to see beomgyu in person and playing guitar. one thing about choi beomgyu is that he will play guitar like it's his last day on earth. he plays with so much intensity that you almost feel bad for the guitar.

you could almost feel how the crowd's energy in this packed room transferred to the members. if it was even possible, they started to play with more vigor.

at some point, beomgyu was full on immersed in his own playing. his once fluffy hair was now soaked with sweat and covering his forehead and eyes. he kept headbanging along to the beat while skillfully moving his fingers along the strings of the guitar.

during the middle of one of their songs, beomgyu took the center stage for his guitar solo. it was a fast paced riff that just seemed to give the song more life. his head is down so that it's solely focused on the guitar but once he finished the hardest part of the riff he looked up smugly. the crowd went absolutely mad when beomgyu bit his lip during the rest of his solo.

you had to admit the boy had stage presence, you practically almost re-fell in love with him.

after the show, you and maria went to get refreshments at the nearby bar. beomgyu seemed to already be there talking to one of his members so you took this opportunity to speak with him. you wonder if he'll remember you after all these years but you take your chances.

"beomgyu!" you shout over the music that's playing in the background. he whips his head around to the sound of his name being called and smiles lightly when he sees you. when you get to him, he subtly looks you up and down, taking in your body and attire. "y/n is that you?" he says, his voice laced with something teasing.

"you remember me?" you ask him with a smile. "how could i forget a face like yours," he smiles, leaning back. you laugh and he smiles. "i just saw you on stage, i never thought you'd become this huge! congrats!"

he nods, "yeah, i always wanted to make it big you know." he trails off, looking over you again like he's entranced somehow. "so how's life? you still with-"

"yeonjun...yeah we um- we have a kid...now," you finish nervously. did he really have to bring yeonjun up right now. "a kid?" he says, surprised. "let me see."

you show him a selfie of you and valkyrie that you took at a time when she wasn't completely hating your existence and wanting to cuddle her father instead of you. he laughs and leans back once again, "she's cute like you, she definitely got her mom's features."

"yeah and she's got her dad's attitude," you say, mostly to yourself but beomgyu catches it. "oh yeah! i wanted to say, i really like that one song you played, uh- fairy?"

"fairy of shampoo? yeah we added our own little rock twist to it," he says. "you know the lyrics are actually about y-" your phone cuts him off and you apologize, turning away to answer it. "what is it yeonjun"

beomgyu sighs in frustration when he hears you say that. when you finish talking you turn back to him and he has his eyebrow raised in question. "looks like my fun is over," you laugh dryly. he nods in understanding, "before you go though, let me get your number so we can catch up sometime."

you agree, not wanting to pass up the chance to reconnect with your now famous friend.

"maybe we'll see each other around gyu," you smile, beginning to walk away.

he smiles at the old nickname, waving you off, "i sure hope so."

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 14-Gala (Part 1)

ummm hi? i just wanted to give yall a huge heads up that this IS part one of two, and part two will be added when i have time to go back and finish. both my computer and my phone are acting up, and my tablet has a faulty keyboard. that said, im going to work to get things back on track. 

Two days after Christmas, the manor was buzzing with activity. The Kents had arrived the day before, and now everyone was prepping for the annual Winter Gala. Marinette was standing in her room, hands on her hips, glaring at her father as he tried to convince her that no, Marinette, the gala is not that big of a deal. down the hall, Tim and Damien helped Alfred sort through the myriad of suits and other formal wear that the siblings would be wearing the next night. Jason had left on ‘business’, while Dick was watching over the people brought into finish decorating for the occasion. Once the boys’ clothing had been sorted, Alfred moved on to check on Cass who had been studiously avoiding all activity related to the Gala.

In the Crewe Group Chat

Kim: Mari, when do you get back in town??

Chlo: M, there’s damage control to do, do you want me to wait for you?

Max: Marinette, you may want to check your Instagram. I know that you avoid social media in Gotham but…

Chlo: MARINETTE CHENG-WAYNE

Chlo: Pick up your phone

Chlo: MARI

Alix: Chloe, chill.

Alix: there’s only so much we can do if she’s busy today.

Kim: we need to take care of this somehow though.

Alix: do we have ANY OTHER WAY to contact m?

Adrien: why do I feel like I’m missing something very important?

Max: have you checked the news lately?

Adrien: I only really check AkumaWatch, why?

Max: check international news

Adrien: is… is this what I think it is? (Attached is a screenshot of international gossip. At the top of the page is a picture of two teens in hoodies moving away from an airport. They are dragging suitcases and have their heads down to avoid attention. The boy’s hood is thrown back, and his well-known blue eyes are glaring at the photographer. Above it is the title has Timothy Drake-Wayne finally found love? The second screenshot is from farther down the article where there is a picture of Cassandra Cain-Wayne, Damien Wayne and Marinette hurrying along a sidewalk completely bundled up. The caption reads could this be Tim Drake-Wayne’s mystery girl? Who is she?)

Chlo: YES

Chlo: and its gala day so she’s going to be busy af anyways.

Adrien: What do you mean its Gala day? There’s only one Gala today?

Chlo: Duh. Mari is going.

Chlo: Keep up, Adrikins.

Alix: oh god

Alix: does anyone know how her dress turned out? She had been freaking out about it last I heard, and we all know how much M puts by first impressions.

Adrien: Ok, I’m still really confused? There’s only one Gala today? The Wayne Winter Charity Gala, which is really exclusive and a huge to-do? What Gala is Marinette going to???

Nino: dude

Nino: please

Nino: don’t be oblivious.

Mari: what did I miss?

Chlo: DID YOU SEE THE NEWS?????

Mari: um…yes? Jason has been having a ball with all the press. Why?

Chlo: I thought you were trying to be low key?

Mari: tonight

Chlo: IM SORRY??? WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW????

Alix: well, it’s a good thing you have so many influential friends who keep ending up at the same Galas as you, Mari

Adrien: ok, I’m still confused

Chlo: your going to the Winter Gala, right?

Adrien: yeah? We go every year. The only entertaining part is the fact that the Wayne kids always fight. Otherwise it’s all snobby rich people.

Chlo: I’m taking offence to that, since Alix and I have also been going for years.

Alix: seconded

Mari: to be fair, you both tend to hide away and prank people

Adrien: wait. That was you two?

Adrien: And Marinette, how do you know that?

Mari: omg

Mari: I give up sdjkgb

Class Group Chat

Lila: guys! My friend reached out to me…

Alya: wait! Which friend? Is it…?

Lila: yes! Its Maralynn! She’s sooooo excited about her family Gala tonight!

Alix: Maralynn?

Lila: ok, you didn’t hear it from me, but that mystery girl? Seen at the airport with THE Tim Wayne? That’s her! They’re actually twins!

Chloe: oh! That means that Alix, Adrien and I will see her tonight! Its so cool that she trusts you not to reveal who she is…. (:

Marinette: lol isn’t Twitter convinced that she’s dating Tim? AWKWARD

Lila: Maralynn told me that it wasn’t worth it to go after the rumors. I’m trying to respect her decision.

Rose: that’s so sweet, Lila! I didn’t know that you knew the Waynes!

Lila: I don’t know ALL of them, just Maralynn! We were at boarding school together in Italy for a few years.

Marinette: OH WOW

Nino: Chloe, Alix, your going to have to tell us what you think of her?

Lila: oh yes! And if you see my boyfriend, send my love!

Chloe:…BOYFRIEND???

Lila: oh? You didn’t know? Tim and I have had a thing for a while

Marinette: oh really? Chloe, you’ll have to pass on that she’s thinking of him tonight!

Lila: I mean… not if you don’t want to! I wouldn’t want to be a bother on GALA night!

Chloe: if I see him, it won’t be a bother at all Lila!

Marinette shook her head and set her phone down as the class chat continued to blow up. As much as she loved Chloe, she knew that the girl was instigating Lila for fun. When everything blew up, Marinette wanted to be able to stand back and watch the fire burn, but not be close enough to get burned. When she turned in her room, the garment bag in the corner caught her eye. Inside, Marinette knew, was a long black dress. When she had run the design past Alfred, the English man had given her an approving nod. Later, she had heard him mentioning to her father that at least one of his myriad of children would be able to dress themselves. The comment had made the teen giggle and she had made sure to put every effort she could into the gown. More than anything, she wanted to make her family proud. A knock on the door drew her attention and she turned to find Cass standing there, her own gown held in its own garment bag.

“get ready? Together?” the noirette lit up at her older sister’s suggestion and she nodded excitedly. The other girl moved into the room and hung the bag in her arms over the wardrobe next to Marinette’s. after she had deposited her shoes, the older teen turned to her sister and smiled.

By the time that Tim came to check on them, both girls had finished their Makeup and were working on hair. The makeup artist that Bruce had hired was packing up her stuff and the hair stylist was partway through Cass’s hair. Marinette turned towards her brother with a smile from where she was standing in front of the hidden dresses. “lend me a hand?” He smirked at the frustration on her face.

“Gladly, Little Bit. Which one is yours?” when the girl nodded to the larger of the two bags, Tim frowned. “how big exactly is your dress?”

“Big enough for me to need help getting it on. Its not that it’s exactly heavy either! Its just…poofy?” he laughed at Marinette’s rush to explain and helped her pull the bag off of the dress. When the dress was no longer hidden, his breath caught. The black dress was stunning. He could see where it moved from black to grey to blue at the bottom, and the long full sleeves followed the same style. Hanging on the hanger behind the dress was a black hoop, and a pair of low heels (as tall as Bruce would allow, actually. He had to remind her ten times that although this was a high society event, she was still 14, and didn’t need to be dressing like she was 20.) sat under the layers of the dress. Where he had been expecting glitter and sparkles, Tim was surprised to find that the satin was free of almost anything that glittered.

“wow” Marinette laughed at his reaction and reached for the hoop.

“I know, right? It took forever, but its totally worth it! And, it’s the designers first attempt at this kind of formal. I think she did a great job.” Tim paused at that.

“LB, hey,” his sister tensed at the abbreviation for her nickname before she turned to him. “who exactly designed your dress?”

“Oh, just a small up and coming designer. You wouldn’t have heard of her.” Cass sniggered from her spot by the vanity and Marinette shot their sister a smile. “ok! Let me get the slip on, and then after the hoop is on top, ill need your help with making sure the skirt fits right.”

Marinette would not be over exaggerating if she said that the red carpet was incredibly chaotic. The only thing she could think of that was more chaotic was perhaps the last time Jagged had held a concert in Paris. After she had made it through the gaggle of reporters and the public (was that Mr. Kent, SUPERMAN, she saw standing in the crowd calling out questions? Dam that man was everywhere.) the teen dropped her purse, that held an extra set of shoes, in her seat. The rest of the family wouldn’t be in for a bit. Her father, Dick, and Damien would all be in the receiving line Alfred would be behind the scenes all night, and Tim was already striking up discussions with business partners. Cass was on the other side of the room, looking stunning in her deep blue dress. When her sister had approached her, through her website, about the dress the teen had squealed at the idea of designing the close-fitting dress for her only sister. A Blonde caught her eye and pulled the noirette out of her thoughts. The familiar girl who was making her way over had abandoned her trademarked blues and yellows in favor of a deep red that matched the garnets littering her jewelry. A few steps behind her was another teen close to Marinette’s age with a pink pixie cut slicked down. The other teen was wearing a suit that had perfect tailoring…actually, that was Marinette’s suit. The girl laughed as Chloe and Alix joined her, the shortest of the three standing in the middle to draw attention to her suit.

As the girls caught up, they scanned the ballroom. On the other side, Tim was starting to look frazzled, while Marinette thought she saw Jason slip in past one of the servers. opposite them, Damien and Dick were starting to mingle while Bruce moved to greet the Kents. As she swept her gaze over the room, Marinette blinked. There, looking straight at her was-

“oh no, its Adrien. Chloe I love you and all, but if that boy causes a scene tonight…” Chloe waved away Alix’s worries.

“I already told him to be on his best behavior. I am personally more interested in when Felix will get here. For all his big talk about transferring to a private school in Paris, I won’t believe it until the brat comes to see me.” The group stifled their laughter at Chloe’s put out response.

“as long as he doesn’t come over asking about everything going on, we should be good.” Marinette nodded at Alix’s statement on Adrien.  

Look for Part 2 soon! if yall have any thoughts, i’d LOVE to hear them, since i have the basic plot down and im fleshing it out now...

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x model (tall) reader where she’s friends with law roach and zendaya and z and law roach introduces Tom and Toms friends to reader at a after party and they become friends and it’s fashion week and reader invites them and reader does multiple runways and photo shoots and Tom really likes her 🥰maybe fluff and smut

IT WAS TO FLUFFY TO ADD SMUT BABE- THANKS FOR THE ASK! REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED I HAVE TO FINISH THE ONES ALREADY ASKED!

Summary: ah, nothing like a nice life

Warnings: boob grabbing, dancing, sitting on laps and fluff! No smut!

A/n: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK TO LONG- NOT PROOF READ!

T.H| I’m OuTsIdE iN a AmG

You sat down on your phone, playing candy crush like the old person you are, it was an after party and you came with zendaya and law roach, you’ve been friends for a little bit but it was nice, you both got closer then you both expected. You sat there pretty in a black tuxedo, shirtless with red bottoms on, hair in a shag, a pretty one though. You lifted your leg and placed ontop of the other, it was like any other after party, boring. Zendaya and law roach singing the lyrics while others jumped around them.

“Y/n!” Zendaya said, catching your attention, you shut off your phone and put it in the side of your pants, looking up at her. “Get up I wanna introduce you to someone” “zendaya-“ “later please” she took your hand and lifted you from your seat, you took the seat with you because bitches be wanna steal shit. “So y/n, this is my friend Tom- did you really take the seat with you?” “I sure did, hello Thomas” you looked at him, curly brown hair, a little bit of gel, he wore a charming smile, he was also short. “Hi” he laughed. “Thank you-“ a stranger said, trying to take the chair, “I think the fuck not!” You yelled over the music, tugging it back. “Back Yo ass up!” You say, fake charging at the person making them flinch. “You are so mean” law rolled laughed.

“It’s not my fault she crazy” you sat the chair down and sat in it. “Well anyways, this is Harrison” zendaya said, Harrison waving with a smile. “And Harry, toms brother” he also waved. “Hi Tom and erbodyelse” you waved right back at them. “She apologizes” law said. “What did I do?” You asked, law looking at you. “Hey it’s okay, she’s funny” he laughed, you gave a innocent smile. “Well let’s party right!” Zendaya said, making everyone but you smile....until of course ice cube had to come on ‘you know how we do it’ you had no other choice, you could rap every single word of it, of any 90s song. You weren’t the type to party but you better make the best of it, zendaya handed you a beer and you took it sipping it. “I’m not letting this chair go” you said, “I’ll take it” Tom said, you stood and he took it, walking to the bartista and asking him to keep it back there and not let anyone else grab it. Once the achol got in your system there was no going back, you did what you said you could, everyone was suprised you didn’t even break a sweat, would you remember this? Of course you would! You aren’t that drunk dumbieee.

You’re the life of the party when your not so stuck up and stubborn, but it’s just your personality, you got your chair back and Tom was about tired as hell, he ended up sitting on your lap and having his back on the arm rest, having a normal conversation, you both have a lot of shared likings, basically the same person but not, your feelings are always mixed but Tom is nice to even it out.

“You think this is weird?” Tom asked, “Nah it’s good, look at her” you pointed at the girl who keeps whipping her head around to the song, leaving Thomas laughing as you silently giggled. “So your a model?” He asked and you nodded, sharing a hamburger you got from somewhere, it didn’t matter. You handed it to him and he took a bite “so like Victoria secret?” “Yeah and Rihanna, ya know fenty?” “Of course I watched it like a million times!” “Who was your favorite?” You asked him, “I mean Laura was pretty sexy” he shrugged and you laughed, “yeah she was” “but she wasn’t the best” “who was then?” “You, you danced in that tight underwear, it had to be uncomfterble” “no Rihanna makes sure it’s comfterble” “well I know you would kill it in some butterfly lingerie” he shrugged, handing the burger back to you. “Why thank you, seems like you like me showing skin huh?” “Hey I might not be sober, but I’m sober enough to not tell you my secrets” “dang it!” You laughed taking a bite out of the burger.

“I should come to your runways” he looks at you, his eyes slightly squinted. “That was just what I was thinking!” You took a bite as he laughed with his cheeks filled, you chewed away as you both just looked at each other. “So favorite movie?” “I can’t go one night without watching Spider-Man-“ “really? Thank you” he cheered, you only laughed, “you didn’t let me finish, Spider-Man into the spider verse” “that movie sucks!” “Noooo it’s miles morales! He’s fucking better then youu” “we can fight if you wanna fight” “then you wouldn’t be able to come to my shows” “ah fine”

As the time passed you both only made jokes, watching everyone else dance and point out the ones who don’t know how to. It was fun, he gave you his number and you gave yours to him, chatting and no more drinking, just eating.

“Naw I saw you both!” Law yelled as zendaya hyped it up. “Doing what! We were only talking-“ “and eating!” Zendaya added on. “That’s romance!” “Well I don’t think so, so hmph” you shrugged. “Whatever bye y/n” law exited the call and zendaya did to, it was time for your photo shoot for the week and Tom was expected to come, he didn’t come yet so you had time to get dressed.

You went shirtless with a pair of high waisted cargo pants and combat boots, your hair wet and your long nails black, there wasn’t really any makeup on your face other then a whole lot of highlighter, when you went out you found Tom. He had two water bottles in his hand, his hair wet with a black shirt and normal navy blue jeans with some black air forces, he looked around for you until he found you, giving you a smile as you holded your boobs with one hand to wave at him. He made his way over to you “hey!” He cheered. “Hey Thomas, how are you?” You asked and he shrugged, “I’m pretty full so I’m happy” “you ate without me?” “How was I supposed to know? What do you want” “loyalty” he smacked his lips at you “I got you water atleast!” “I can’t drink that right know, my stomach has to look good” you both looked at it, you basically were glowing.

“Water can’t kill you” “yes it can, that’s my que, let’s go!” You took photos in this large house, with a huge mountain next to it. Tom thought you looked beautiful with your hair out, he was to respectful to look somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. You sat next to the pool with a chair, sitting in it backwards you arched your back, Tom having a seat in the background just watching how you move and how the sun reacts to your skin, lucky you put on some sunscreen so you didn’t have to get sunburns. He sipped his water and smiled to himself, Tyler the creator played in the background and as you took your time you danced some, you were a cute dancer...you couldn’t dance but you looked nice moving!

“Tom I need your hands!” You yelled, Tom instantly came over asking you what’s wrong. “I need you to fix my hair really quick” “you and I both know I can’t do that” “then please hold these” you smile at him. “What’s?” He asked, knowing what you were saying but not so sure. “Hold my boobs dude” you took his hand with your free one. “Alright alright!” He says, coming behind you to hold your boobs. “Thank you Thomas” as you were about to grab your phone your hair stylist came up to fix your hair. “You can’t do it either” she said. You smacked your lips as Tom laughed at you, still holding your boobs with both of his hands, which they perfectly fit too.

“Alright Thomas you have to be in this photo shoot” the photographer said. “What why!” He asked, completely not ready. “It’s just a great pose” he smiled. “I don’t know if she’s okay with that!” Tom said looking at you. “I don’t mind” you shrugged, looking back at him. “Alright then I’m pretty sure we have some cargos for you!” “Right here actually!” Why do they have some men’s cargos, you like men’s clothes sometimes, your more thicker then Thomas though so that’s really confusing. You silently gasped “law!” You said to yourself. “Let me go change yeah” he said, you put your hands ontop of his, he removed his and ran to go get changed, when he came back he was dressed just like you, highlighter on his abs, everything.

“You look good” you complement. “Not as stunning as you darling” he said, ice cube now playing “alright let’s go to the mountains”

You all made your way up there, on the tip of the mountain, if you were to fall you’d die, you afraid of heights but Tom held your hand to reassure your safe, you and Tom stepped on the end, one of his arms came around your breasts, perking them up and the other came around your waist, you leaned on your left knee, tilted your head to lean on toms, the sun glistening your skin as you closed your eyes amd lips slightly open and your hand held his cheek as his lips were softly touching your neck. “Alright, perfect” they recorded you both, then when they look back there gonna make it pictures, they snapped another of you both hugging each other, his back muscles and the back of his head, showing his wet curls as you wrapped one around your finger, your lips so close to his ear, pelvis to pelvis and chest to chest, all very very good pictures.

You and Tom danced to the music, all oldies playing, Mary J Blige, Tony!, Tupac, Brandy, New edition, Micheal Jackson, snapping more pictures while you both weren’t paying attention. “Oh this totally gonna is gonna get in the book, this is gonna be all over the news” “oh tell me about it” the photographers laughed, but it was time to take the solo one, you covered your breasts as you were on the tip of the mountain, your face infront of the sun, you covered your face with your hand from a distance, revealing one of your eyes as they were light from the sun, you looked up at the camera and made eye contact with it, your lips again slightly open. “Perfect!”.

Snapped.

Tom put you on his story, smiling to himself as you came back down. “It’s hot!” You yelled, everyone laughing at what you said. “Guess who’s the new face of vogue!” Jim said, the photographer. “Me!” You jumped, dancing to yourself as everyone cheered you on as P. Y. T played, everyone clapping to the beat as you kept dancing, everyone singing and doing their own thing. Tom sung as he came up behind you, holding onto your waist as you moved you hips, some people recording for the YouTube video. It was like you were dating before you even knew it, it was nice, everyone could see the love you had for each other even if you both were oblivious of it.

“Did a wonderful job darling” he said, both in the same dressing room. “You didn’t do to bad yourself” you smiled at him, putting on your bra and your oversized shirt, taking off your pants and boots next as he followed along to put on the clothes he had on first. “Your the new icon y/n” he smiled at you. “Don’t say that, we both know zendayas the queen” “but you can be the king” he winked at you, you only smiled and shook your head. “So you guys, can we post these videos!” Jim said, you both looked at each other then the door. “Yeah!” Both of you said, I mean it was platonic right? Totally.

For the rest of the week you did the runways, the photo shoots, you of course were the new face of vogue, Victoria secret, Rihanna wanted you to come back, rumors of you and Tom dating which was okay you guessed, it was all just so going good for you, but Thomas not so much. “I think I really fucking like her” Thomas said, sitting in one of the front seats for your runway. “Then ask her out div!” “Harrison shut up!” “I’m just pointing out the obvious” he shrugged. “Well then don’t” he whisper yelled. “I can hear your whole conversation, Thomas” zendaya said smiling, “me too” law and zendaya high fives each other as Tom rolls his eyes, soon music starts playing and models come out, best for last so you weren’t out yet, Tom sat there bored wondering when you were coming out, crossing his arms over his chest as the time ticked, everyone was recording the models, professional cameras all over and recording.

And then your music played ‘Shes A Bad Mama Jama’ as you came out with your yellow layered large poofy dress, a deep v-line and black heels under, dangle earrings and your hair in butterfly braids, shinny lip gloss and long eyelashes, you walked down and danced a bit, everyone clapping for you, just cheering for you, Tom was lucky to even know you, the way your skin shined and you were so photogenic, you were just a goddess really, a mic in your hand as you finished coming down, you said a single ‘hey y’all!’ And everyone cheered for you, clapping.

“As you know I’ve done a lot in this week, including this” you held up your hands at the whole entire place. “But I couldn’t have done it without a few people” people clapped for you. “That includes, law roach” claps. “Zendaya” some ‘woos!’ “And Tom holland” he was shocked but everyone still cheered for him, smiling and waving at everyone who cheered him on. “I honestly feel so honored, I love every single one of you in this room, you’ve been with me ever since I didn’t get a chance, but that’s the thing” you pointed at the camera “if nothing works out, be your own boss. No one can reject you if your doing your own thing, that’s what I did” you shrugged, everyone clapping for you more. “So we have this set up right?” “It’s all in the trunk Thomas” “well are you gonna help me?” He whispered to zendaya which she laughed at “you have guns for a reason” she squeezed his arms. “Shut up” he silently giggled as he still payed attention to you.

You then walked out, everyone still cheering loudly as you waved them goodbye. You made your way to backstage, finding the models, including cara, Naomi, Gigi, Bella, Kaia, and Lupita. You walked over to the table and grabbed the champagne and grabbed it, law, zendaya, Tom, and Harrison all coming backstage and grabbing their glasses. “Ready?!” You ask and they all cheer, all around you, you popped the bottle successfully, you poured poured everyone some, including yourself. “Alright what are we cheering for?” You ask everyone, “your success!” Gigi says, making you blush. “Stop it, our success, we did it all together” you say making everyone ‘aw’. “To our success!” You yelled, everyone said it after you, raising their glasses and clanking it with some people before taking a sip, Tom came over and kissed your temple, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Congrats babe, you deserve it” he whispered in your ear. “What’s with the pet name” you laughed. “Come to the car with me yeah?” He asked, you nodded at him and the small group followed behind you, making your way to the car he opened the trunk, revealing balloons falling out and flying in the air.

but also a collage of you both, at the club with him sitting on your lap sharing the hamburger, laughing with each other to at the photo shoot, you both dancing with each other, the actual photos you used for the magazine too, then you both hanging out getting coffee and hugging each other in public, then both of you in these dark gothic wigs, with electric guitars, back to back as you put on this weird scrunched face, to hard to explain. You smiled as you picked up the collage “I love it” you said. “I love you” he said back, you looked back at him and he smiled. “I liked you the first moment I met you, your funny, sweet, stubborn, cute, your scattered everywhere-“ “I am not!” You cut him off. “Oh you are” zendaya said, the small group recording letting out small laughs. “You just proved my point y/n, but I love how I can even you out, I like the way you look at me, I want it to last everyday, every night, I just wanna be with you.... so in that case would you be my girlfriend?” He asked, you smiled so wide as you out the collage down in the car, you walked up to him and made eye contact with him as he stood there, looking up at you, you kissed him, smiling into the kiss and kissing him repeatedly “alright get it over with” law intruded, “yeah yes I will” you nodd and he smiled, kissing you again. Zendaya smiles “AGHHHHHH” she screams in excitement. For some reason ‘ivy’ by Frank ocean played and you both just made eye contact with each other.

[oldsmobile-hotdogs]

Questions for crossover jatp ghosts crossover fic: I hope Julian and the sunset curve boys talk about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Yugoslav wars that happened when they were alive + Bill Cilnton. I wonder what pat and the band would talk about considering that they would of been kids when pat died? Do you think Julie would think of Les Mis and Hamilton cos Thomas and Kitty are from about the same time period as those musicals? I hope Julie calls Fanny Mary poppins.

Anon, or "Mimi", or "Lulu", or, heck, maybe even "Carl Birtles": Update: Not Carl Birtles. Carl Birtles sent me an ask and is cool, actually.

Stop. Right now. I'd say stop while you're ahead, but you are so far away from ahead at this point it's laughable.

For everyone confused, this is that "commenter from AO3" I joked about making a 2017-esque story time video about.

A couple days ago I uploaded the first chapter of a Julie and the Phantoms/BBC Ghosts crossover fic.

You know what? I’m gonna promo it here bc it’s my callout post and I can shill if I want to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30681704/chapters/76661471

It was generally very well received and I've had a blast interacting with readers.

Except for this.

Honestly, there's so much to get into, so I’m putting it under a cut:

This was their first correspondence (email notif bc I deleted the comment, the deletion to be explained later):

(Funnily enough, the links very much do not work on AO3, making the comment only more jarring)

I gave you *so much* benefit of the doubt when I saw this comment, and assumed that maybe you're an ESL user, just very enthusiastic to share ideas, and I pretty much said so in my reply, but know that at that point I'd already had friends- who fucking know about this, don't you dare think you're getting me alone- tell me that you were being very demanding.

Below was my reply (another email notif):

I'm gonna be honest, I think I responded really well to what I was given, and now that I'd replied, I was pretty certain the situation was dealt with. You, evidently, didn't agree, as shown by your reply to my reply:

A word of advice: when replying to someone, at least pretend like you read what they wrote.

At this point I'm left wondering two things:

What do they expect from me, if a general reply is not it?

How much more shit do they have waiting to tell me to put in my- reminder, JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover, rated T, comedic- fic?

In order to avoid finding out either, I freeze the thread on AO3. I'm liveblogging all of this on Discord.

It's then that I notice that the username on AO3 isn't clickable, so even if I wanted to block or report them I couldn't. I assume, therefore, that they've deactivated, and since them seeing their comments gone and getting angry was the only thing stopping me deleting the comments, I delete the comments.

It's also at this point I see "Mimi" never left kudos. I guess I don't deserve praise until I mention "Bill Cilnton".

There's relative calm for a short amount of time, until I get another comment:

This one is much kinder than the others and doesn't mention any specific, weird, historical events, so the extent to which I think this is "Mimi" is debatable, but bestie I'm weirded out enough that anything that even uses the enter bar unnecessarily and misses out conjunctive words like "because" and "and" is going to activate fight or flight. Update: Carl Birtles is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl was just being genuinely kind and I misinterpreted it and that's on me.

However, "Carl"'s case is not helped by the fact I can't click his account either, that AO3 offers me the ability to report it as spam, and that guess who replies to "Carl"'s comment: Update: Carl, having done nothing wrong as he has, is therefore also a victim in the situation that is being replied to by Lulu. It would seem Lulu is trying to correct??? some of Carl's commentary.

You must think I didn't get a 7 on my English Literature GCSE because you seem to underestimate my ability to compare two texts.

So clearly this is "Mimi", who has also just replied to "Carl". "Lulu" is also deactivated, and I've fallen off the end of my tether, let alone reached it, at this point so I mark it as spam. "Carl" gets to stay bc he said the idea for the crossover was good. Update: Carl also gets to continue to stay because I have it on good faith that he's a stand-up dude.

So at this point you've readily admitted through your inability to shake up your writing style to using at least one sockpuppet to convince me to talk about the "Yugoslav wars".

If "Carl Birtles" is the real(-est) of them, and "Mimi" and "Lulu" are the sockpuppets, by the way, I have questions and ideas about what you do on your free evenings and I want them neither confirmed nor answered. Update: This is slanderous and I want to apologise wholeheartedly to Carl for making assumptions about him and judging his character. Once again, he is not Mimi or Lulu. He's just a normal, cool guy.

And now you come to me, on the day of my daughter's wedding on a different platform, leave me an anon ask in the exact same format as you're so fond of, and expect any different ??

Well, yeah, then I guess I'll give you special treatment this time.

Here's exactly why I will never include anything you have told me to include:

Julian and the Phantoms discussing the Berlin Wall would be highly inappropriate for the largely fluffy, cracky tone of my fanfiction, especially given how recently the event occurred, how many Eastern Germans still experience prejudice to this day because they were born within the old borders of the DDR, and because of how nuanced this, essentially proxy war, was and how ill-informed a huge amount of the world is on the actual factors in play during this time and the Cold War in general.

Julian and the Phantoms will not discuss Yugoslavia dissolving, nor the fallout and conflict that resulted, because it was genocidal. There is nowhere I can fit Julian, pantsted, casually asking Luke “hey do you remember when the Herzegovinas were killed en masse by the Serbs?” Not gonna happen.

They won’t discuss Bill Clinton because all of them know who the current world leaders are: they don’t have amnesia, they’re ghosts. The fic is also rated T, so it would be inappropriate to make any explicit reference to “sexual relations”. None of them play saxophone.

Julie wouldn’t think of Les Mis or Hamilton because Thomas is Regency, not French Revolution, and Kitty is Georgian, not Colonial.

Julie won’t be calling Fanny Mary Poppins because she is perpetually stuck in a white dress, doesn’t wear a hat, doesn’t own an umbrella or a purse and was not the nanny or housekeeper of Button House.

The ghosts will not discuss the marvels of modern transportation or how long it would’ve taken to cross the Atlantic on dinghy because the ghosts have seen Friends. The house irl is on a flight path. They know airplanes exist. Alison and Mike pulled up in a car.

I will probably have the phantoms and Willie talk to Pat and Julian about being from the ‘80s and ‘90s. That I will actually probably do.

The Captain will not mention FD Roosevelt because, again, they all know who the current world leaders are, and I doubt he expects a ‘90s pop punk band to have any insider knowledge on the man.

It was interesting to think of the phantoms’ grandparents having been alive during WW2. I wasn’t lying. But there is nearly nothing I can do with this information.

But above all: both sets of ghosts have already adapted to modern life. Because the shows are shorter, and meant to actually be able to fit jokes in them.

If you want to see any of this, write your own damn fic. I don’t own the concept of a JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover.

What you will not do, “consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel”-nim, is hound me on multiple accounts and then change platform to hound me again. I’m absolutely not having it.

I have never received an interaction quite like this before, and I cannot help but wonder if this is because this is my first work in the Ghosts/HH/Them There/Six Idiots/Yonderland/Bill fandom: that this is where you primarily camp out.

So it’s at this point I ask the Them There/Six Idiots fandom if they have/if they know anyone who has had a run-in with this person or thinks they may have, or if anyone perhaps even knows who this is? Maybe I’m just one of many. Maybe this is a necessary fandom evil I was unaware of.

This experience has left me royally freaked out, as one might imagine, especially since my anxiety in general has been acting up due to it being exam season. I want to thank everyone who’s read my rambles on Discord and on here and even listened to them irl and offered support from the bottom of my heart.

I’ve enabled comment moderation on the fic. I will continue to write it, and I will put exactly what I, and only what I, want in it.

Believe it or not, I wanted to do literally anything else today.

Anon: Fucking Leave Me Alone.

Update: Just reiterating: Carl is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl is a cool dude and I want to sincerely apologise for having brought him into this mess, passing judgment on his character, and making him feel like he should stop practicing English online.

[ot3-watch]

Episode 3: The Wedding Job

And so we begin the “The Network Fucked Up” saga with episode 7 which is SUPPOSED to be episode 3. 

Huge men drinking out of tiny teacups is hilarious and will never stop being so. 

Nate, stop being such a control freak. “I thought I pick the clients” DUDE CHILL

“No more, no less” honey you getting much more

“We’ll get back to you” FUCK YOU NATE

PARKER LOVES KIDS EPISODE 1

NATE IF YOU HAD FOUND THIS CASE YOU’D TAKE IT IN AN INSTANT YOU’RE JUST MAD YOU DIDN’T FIND IT

FBI!!! TAGGERT AND MCSWEETEN!! AHH OKAY I LOVE THEM

“They just need validation” BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

TODAY IN THEY MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNNECESSARILY STUPID

Hardison is so gregarious it’s so amazing to watch

“I don’t have to type anything right” oh my god

TAPES! “HARDISON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT OF THE FBI OFFICES WITH A BOX FULL OF TAPES?” “pUNCH someBODY!” “oh I’m gonna PUNCH SOMEBODY” God i love them

Jersey Boys I can’t, it’s terrible guys. Do mobsters have no taste

Oh look, it’s that woman who’s in EVERYTHING

What is Parker wearing on her head

Everyone talks about bridezillas, but no one talks about mother of the bridezillas. 

WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER IN THE FIRST PLACE

SOPHIE FOCUSING ON HER PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH NATE INSTEAD OF THE JOB EPISODE 1

ELIOT THE CHEF EPISODE 1

HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM

ELIOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO HIS COVER STORY AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE JOB EPISODE 1

He’s so mad that she doesn’t like it I lovehim I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE ELIOT SPENCER

“Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house” WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU

How the fuck is the dress so ugly? WHY IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT? WHO WEARS PINK RUCHED SATIN WITH BLUE FLOWERS

I mean, other than, like, me @6 years old. But really, no one should be wearing the clothes I wore at 6 years old. 

Also it’s just.. the worst length. Like if it was a long dress it might be better. 

Nate the pastor episode 1

God that future son in law seems like a dream guy I love him

Maria Moscone deserves better than her scumbag parents let’s be real

SOPHIE TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY AND GETTING THE WAY OF THE JOB

THIS!!! THIS IS WHY THE NETWORK ORDER MAKES NO SENSE!!! THIS HERE’S AN AIMEE REFERENCE BUT IF THEY’D ALREADY DONE THE TWO HORSE JOB, HARDISON WOULD’VE KNOWN ABOUT HER AND NOT ASKED

“What did you do?” “Me? I liberated CROATIA!” *angry apple bite* i CAN’T I LOVE HIM

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW PARKER ISN’T A BRIDESMAID? HOW IS THAT DRESS FOOLING ANYONE

Hardison in love with Parker is so pure

… Okay but shouldn’t maria and blonde n’ bitchy know that Parker isn’t a bridesmaid? Wouldn’t the other bridesmaids know? Why does no one in the wedding party question ANYTHING?

HARDISON’S SCARF THOUGH

WHY IS HER MOTHER WEARING WHITE?? WHO WEARS WHITE TO A WEDDING WTF

MARIA MOSCONE DESERVES BETTER

SOPHIE FUCK OFF!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?? THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT SOPHIE!! SOPHIE STOP IT!! SOPHIE SHUT UP!

M A R I A M O S C O N E D E S E R V E S B E T T E R

The Butcher of Kiev is the best subplot of this episode but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY ALL KNOW HE AND ELIOT HAD A PAST

Sophie is so fucking annoying in this episode I hate her right now

THESE PEACHES AREN’T GONNA POACH THEMSELVES PARKER

OH MY GOD NATE SHUT UP

NATE SHUT UP

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS NATE

SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU NATE

“In my day, no one would do business at their daughter’s wedding” WELL THEN DON’T DO BUSINESS 

Parker’s face smushed against the glass is great

Ahh yes, you don’t get the money so you SHOOT THE BRIDE. Because THAT’s not gonna cause a scene and get you arrested. 

OK be honest is there anyone who was surprised by the wife being responsible? Bc I’m not

Eliot’s face is like “TFW the guy whose face you burned shows up at a wedding you’re supposed to be pretending to but actually are catering with a cleaver and backup and the overwhelming urge to kill you”

I know that’s super specific but that’s what it is

Parker’s really good at playing drunk

But also, why did they not question what she was doing behind the curtain

Like she just happened to appear after they were finished talking about VERY ILLEGAL THINGS and they aren’t at all suspicious?

Also, Parker using Hardison as a cover is just… I love it. 

You’re laughing. Eliot brought a whisk to a knife fight and you’re laughing. 

The saddest part is Eliot has any sort of cooking implement. You should be terrified right now

Okay so let me get this straight. A guy is StrANGLING you, you get your hands on a rolling pin, and your instinct isn’t, “hey, I can use this rolling pin to clobber him over the head,” the instinct is “Let me use this rolling pin to get my hands on the appetizers?” Like, yes, lemon juice, but also ROLLING PINS ARE HEAVY AND YOU COULD AT LEAST KNOCK THE GUY OUT

But no, let me shove fucking MUSHROOMS in his eyes because otherwise how else would we get the symmetry of the butcher yelling “IT BUUUURRRNNNNSS” both times he fights Eliot

And then he uses the fucking serving tray to bonk him on the head INSTEAD OF THE DUCKING ROLLING PIN

LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU EVER USED A ROLLING PIN AS A WEAPON

I’M NOT SAYING I HAVE BUT OUCH

Like, just… If I had a choice between being hit over the head with a thin sheet of metal or a log of wood with metal inside it, I’d pick the sheet, because at least that one has some give. 

“It’s the lemon juice” How does Eliot make that sound badass

“You just kill a guy with an appetizer?” How the FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT??

WHY DOES NO ONE ASSUME A ROLLING PIN WOULD BE AN OKAY WEAPON

Or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN THAT KITCHEN. THERE ARE CAST IRON PANS IN THAT KITCHEN. Or just liek… regular pans. HAVE YOU EVER DROPPED A NONSTICK PAN ON YOUR FOOT? IT FUCKING HURTS?? WHY IS THE APPETIZER YOUR FIRST INSTINCT NATE

Also, he’s clearly not dead. What the fuck

“I don’t know, maybe” I KNOW AND tHE ANSWER IS NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN”T

...who honeymoons in Kansas? Is that a thing? 

They are a very cute couple i’ve gotta be honest

“Exactly what denomination are you reverend?” He isn’t

“You’re not Mary Poppins, youre a bitch” Okay pot. Okay. 

LITERALLY THAT FUCKING HANDBAG WOULD AHVE MADE A BETTER WEAPON THAN THE MUSHROOMS

How does Hardison remember all those numbers? He didn’t even hear a bunch of them, but he takes the book out so slowly? DOES HARDISON HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY? WHY IS THAT NOT A PLOT POINT MORE OFTEN

Like I’m just saying, someone tries to tell me their phone number more than 3-4 numbers at a time and I get confused. But hardison just… remembers

What happened to the cash? The daughter gets the fucking wedding present she DESERVES for putting up with her awful parents that’s what

Hardison appreciating Eliot’s cooking is EVERYTHING

“I left him five dollars for socks” Well everyone needs socks. 

Okay wait I just had a thought

If Nate isn’t an actual Reverend, is that marriage even legal? Does Nate just happen to also be a legally ordained minister? Did they have to get him an online ordainment? WhY did we not see that scene? WHAT IF HE’S NOT AND THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY MARRIED

And today on “I clearly think far too much about these things”

PARKER WIth KIDS IS EVERYTHING

Eliot cooking for his family I love it

ELIOT IN A TANK TOP I LOVE IT

Was Eliot’s arms the most important part of this scene? Probably not

Is it the only thing I care about? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

I”M A SIMPLE GIRL AND HE HAS VERY NICE ARMS OKAY

Final thoughts: 9/10. I love this episode so much guys. Points off because really who the fuck wears white to a wedding. I know that’s the point but its very off putting. Also for the bridesmaid dresses because they were ugly as sin. Actual point off for the wife secretly being awful. Very predictable, ew. Extra points for Chef!Eliot. Extra points for Eliot’s arms. Points off for Nate and Sophie being completely insufferable. Extra points for Parker being great in this episode. Points off for the FUCKING ROLLING PIN YES I’M STILL ANGRY DONT @ ME. Extra points for Eliot killing a man with an appetizer because it’s still funny. Extra points for no IYS or Sam references THANK THE FUCKING LORD. Or, at least, if there was, i didn’t notice, meaning it wasn’t egregious so whatever. So yeah, anyway I really fucking love this episode. 

IYS Count: 2/3

Sam Count: 2/3  AND WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF FOR IT