#drugs are drugs are drugs just because the shit I’m on is prescription and ‘useful’ doesn’t mean it’s any less of an addiction

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

The fact that I have to renew the perscription for the medication I will be on for the rest of my life every six months is so fucking dumb to me. Yeah, sorry! You’re taking this shit every single day and if you don’t get the prescription filled on time you’re going to go into hellish withdrawal. But we have to reconvene every six months to make sure you REALLY need to keep this prescription active. Are you sure you still need to take the med we have said you will be on for the rest of your life? Are you sure you need it?

[corazondebeskar-reads]

get some on my love

QZ!Joel Miller x f!reader

my masterlist | joel fic recs

This is for @justagalwhowrites' Birthday Celebration for Joel. I picked the prompts for QZ!Joel and breeding kink. It, uh. It got away with me. Title from "Gasoline" by Seether because that's what made this get so feral. Please read the warnings.

dedicated to @covetyou bcus it's your tumblrversary bb! and also because of SWAT, the ultimate slutty qz joel fic that lives in my head and pays rent

words: 1.6k

summary: You visit Joel Miller to get what you need.

warnings: dub-con, dubcon due to sex in exchange for drugs, and he kind of springs the breeding kink on her (but there's not a risk), abuse of prescription medications, QZ!Joel Miller, dealer!Joel Miller, smuggler!Joel Miller, filthy!Joel Miller, breeding kink, creampie, menstrual sex, inappropriate uses of period blood, spitting, pussy pronouns (she/her), vulgar language, god i don't even know it's just nasty and they like it, kind of hate fucking, no y/n, no betas no proofreading no nothing lol

dividers by @saradika-graphics

also on ao3

“Well, well. Look who’s come crawlin’ back,” Joel drawls when he opens the door. 

You scowl. “You gonna let me in or not?”

He leans against the frame, a lazy smirk curling. “Gee, I don’t know. You had some mighty strong things to say ‘bout me last time.” He does step back, though, ushering you in. 

“Pretty sure you said you were never gonna look at my ugly mug again,” he adds as he shuts the door behind you. 

“Yeah, well,” you mutter. 

He tips your chin up with two fingers. “Yeah, well,” he mocks. “Well, what? No one else want that sloppy pussy as payment?”

“You like my pussy, jackass,” you snap, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Yeah, I do,” he says, cornering you against the door, your back hitting it with a thump. He leers, leaning in. “You know why it’s so sloppy? ‘Cause I fuckin’ ruined it, and you loved it.”

You scowl again, turning your head sharply to the side so you don’t have to look at his smug smirk. The worst part is how right he is. 

“Look,” you mutter, heat rising to your cheeks, “I-I can’t pay today. But I need them, bad. I’ll… I’ll make it up to you.”

It nearly kills you to say. The only thing worse than dealing with Joel Miller is owing Joel Miller. 

“Whaddya mean you can’t pay today? Cunt closed for construction or somethin’?”

You shove him away roughly, ducking out of his grasp to stalk into the living room. “No, dumbass, I’m… bleedin’, you know.”

His responding grin is feral and full of teeth. “I don’t give a shit. Go bend over the bathroom sink.”

“Are you fuckin' serious?”

“You want the fuckin’ pills or not?”

You could scream. Of course you do. There’s not a part of your body that doesn’t hurt. It’s settled into every joint and crevice, an ache you can’t stretch out or shake loose. 

You’d know. You’ve tried. But you’re losing sleep, and the pain makes you too nauseous to eat. His drugs will only take the edge off for so long, but god, you’d do nearly anything for a few hours’ respite. 

“Fine,” you whisper finally, and make your way to the apartment’s tiny three-piece. 

He follows, watching you with amusement. “Strip,” he says. 

You glare, and he shrugs. 

“Or don’t. But I ain’t responsible for what happens to your clothes.”

Oh, fuck him. Fuck him. But you strip—all the way, even though you could have left your top on, but because mother nature has you on her shit list, your usual pain is compounded when you’re menstruating. And when you’re ovulating. Really, so many women don’t even have a fucking cycle anymore from all the stress and malnutrition, but noooo, you were cursed with a fertile fucking uterus. 

The point was that your titties were sore and aching, and the thought of his warm hands groping and pawing at them sounded nice, so off goes your shirt.

He chuckles when he enters the bathroom. “Well, look at that. Eager?”

“Hurry up,” you snap. “It’s cold, and there’s gonna be a mess.”

“Gonna be a mess either way,” he taunts, his hands rough against your hips.

And ain’t that the kicker? There’s gonna be a mess. Your cunt is already sore, and he’s gonna leave a trail of destruction in his wake. 

“Don’t look so grossed out, sugar,” he says, cupping your breasts and looking at you in the mirror. “It’s all natural. Plus, I gotta say, it’s been a long time since I got to do this.”

You’re busy meeting his eyes in the mirror and pulling a face, not catching his last words. He rolls and pinches at your tender nipples, but it’s the kind of pain that sits on the right side of pleasure. As expected, his meaty hands grope unmercifully at your breasts, and you moan in relief at the free massage.

“That’s it. That’s what I like to hear. You ready for me, huh? That greedy pussy o’ yours ready?”

“Uh-huh,” you say distractedly. “Wait—”

“I didn’t forget,” he murmurs in your ear. “Open.”

You open your mouth obediently, sticking your tongue out. He sets a round, white pill on it and turns your head with a firm grip on your chin, his spit landing right on the pill.

You swallow and avert your eyes as he watches your reflection.

“Get on with it,” you rasp.

One hand wanders down between your thighs and strokes through the folds, working you open with two thick fingers scissoring side to side. He doesn’t spend long there, dragging them up to rub at your clit for a moment.

“Make some fuckin’ noise; I can’t tell if you’re wet or not with all this goin’ on,” he grumbles, withdrawing his hand and showing you the slick blood coating it.

You wince, and he laughs. “Y’ain’t scared of your own period, are ya?”

“Fuck off, ‘course I’m not. Doesn’t mean I wanna look at it.”

He grins. The expression is always unnatural on him and usually heralds something vulgar.

You’re not wrong. He brings his hand up to cup your breast, leaving a smear of blood on your tit. 

“Somethin’ kinda hot about it, don’tcha think?” he muses.

“If you say so,” you mutter, but you can’t look away. It’s striking, blood against your skin that isn’t borne of violence.

The thick tip of his cock interrupts your thoughts as he pushes down on your shoulder. You bend, gripping the sides of the vanity as he buries himself inside with one slow thrust.

He groans, gripping hard on your shoulder. “S’better than lube.”

“You’re so gross,” you say, shaking your head.

“Yeah? Then why’re you clenchin’ around me like a goddamn vice, huh?”

“You always talk this much when you fuck, or am I special?”

“Oh, sugar, don’t flatter yourself,” he says with a slap on your ass. “Y’ain’t special.”

“You—ahh—you hate-fuck all your customers?”

He snorts. “You ain’t even special enough to hate, honey. And you can hate me all you like, but we both know you’re gonna keep comin’ back.”

As you scowl up at him in the mirror, you almost wish looks could kill. But he’s right. He’d be no good to you dead because no other dealer in this godforsaken QZ will dose you in exchange for sex.

As it is, he only lets you once a week. You need more than that? Gotta pay like everyone else. Even when you can afford it, you find yourself back here or on your knees or however he wants you every fuckin’ Friday, because a free pill is a free pill. It’s 3-4 hours you can nap without nearly killin’ yourself to afford it.

Today’s pill hasn’t begun to set in yet, but that’s the other thing about Joel. He’s good at making you forget.

Real good.

His hands are on your body, roughly gentle. He’s not careful with his touch, but not careless, either. He wants you to come, wants you to shake and fall apart on his dick, so he can flash you that little self-satisfied smirk borne of bravado he’s rightly earned. 

And you do. You come for him, with his hands on your breasts and your clit. You tremble and moan and your pussy tries to stake a claim on his cock, clenching and hoping to never let go. But it will, and you will. In the end, you always let go.

He’s a different kind of beast tonight. Panting and grunting in your ear, teeth on your neck, sweat dripping and blending with yours. After he’s rung pleasure from you, he settles one hand on your hip and another on your shoulder and ruts into you like a jackhammer. Like he can’t get deep enough, can’t stop until he’s carved a spot for him within you.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he mutters, pushing you down further. “Fuuuck, darlin’, you want this, huh? You want me to fill you up?”

“Wh-what?” you gasp, air knocked from you with each punch of his cock against your cervix.

“Gonna fill you up good, gonna—nnng— gonna make it stick.”

You reach back and smack him. “The fuck are you—” 

But he doesn’t let you finish. He holds on tight and grinds his dick deep. “That greedy pussy, sugar, she fuckin’ wants it. Oh fuck, I-I’m gonna fuck this pretty little pussy ‘till she’s full o’ me. And you’re gonna take it, right?”

You whimper, holding tight to the sink while he loses his fucking mind or whatever is happening. You don’t know. It feels too good to question.

“Thas’ it,” he rambles. “Gonna look so good, stuffed up, and ev’ryone—everyone—will know you let me fuckin’ breed you.”

Oh god. It shouldn’t be hot. Those words should be stopping your heart, you should be pushing him away, but your dumb cunt has a mind of its own and holds tight to him, each thrust of his cock squelching as you come around him again. 

“Jesus, baby, it’s been too long, too long since I got to fill up a cunt like yours,” he groans, hips stuttering, “oh shit, take it—fuckin’ take it.”

His cock pulses inside you, and you think maybe you die and go to heaven for a little bit—just a little, because when you open your eyes, you’re still in Joel’s grimy bathroom—but there’s a sweet moment where you think he’s right. It’s been too long. Far too long since a man’s come undone inside you, let you feel that hot burst and twitching, it’s divine, it’s—well, it’s making you come again. 

When he pulls out, you stumble right to the toilet, glaring at him as you try to clean up the mess before it happens. “Gross,” you grumble.

When you look up, the way he’s looking at you makes somethin’ awful churn inside, and it’s not just the apparent buckets of cum he filled you with. 

The silence between you is thick. Finally, he jerks his head to the shower. “Get cleaned up ‘n get out,” is all he says, and the door clicks shut in his wake. 

[xxbl33d1ngb0y2xx]

y’all i need to rant about something that’s been bothering me but it’s going under a cut because it’s basically the start of an essay draft atp but if y’all wanna read my ramblings about ableist misunderstanding of teens with drug addictions press the silly button

i feel like a big reason why the “don’t do drugs because they’re bad for ur health” middle school health class shit doesn’t fucking work is that the people saying that have no idea why people get addicted

people who have never had addictions to drugs and just like society in general has this fucked up idea that “a stupid kid with no real problems tries drugs to be cool and then ruins their life over it” when that’s not how addictions fucking happen

usually it’s a person who already has a lot of trauma, mental health problems and a whole host of other very real and difficult issues. i’m an addict teen and i have never ever been peer pressured into drugs by my friends or classmates. (not saying that doesn’t happen, but that it’s played up in media while other issues are ignored) the more realistic way people get into drugs is that we already know the likely consequences at least conceptually and we do it anyway because it’s a coping mechanism that works in the moment. we use because we feel we have no other way to feel better, we don’t view it as a way to be cool or a fun thing to do

teens who get addicted, generally, know what they’re getting into and cant care because of the sense of worthlessness we already feel towards ourselves and our lives that lead to using in the first place. i knew alcohol would kill my liver before i started drinking, i know abusing prescription drugs and opiates could permanently damage my brain and that nicotine would probably give me lung cancer. i knew i had a history of both cancer and addictions in my family, but none of this mattered to me when i started using. i also knew, from every adult shoving it down my throat, that drugs can ruin your life over what’s only temporary relief and this mattered even less. when i bought my first bottle of percocet at thirteen, i couldn’t give a flying fuck about the health of my organs or the trajectory of my life. i desperately needed that “temporary relief” in order to live through a school week.

i wanna make it clear i’m not condoning drug use, and if you’re a teen in a bad situation who hasn’t yet gotten into drugs please try to avoid it as much as you can. i’m just saying that people need to have more compassion for teen addicts and all addicts for that matter, and we need better understanding of addiction. if we only look at it from a surface level and constantly villainize drugs then we are doing a terrible job at preventing addictions. (this is not a hypothetical. we are)

there’s also a major aspect of privileged ignorance to the way non-addicts talk about addiction. if you’ve never been in a situation where you needed a coping mechanism such as drug abuse, of course you won’t understand why people use. it’s similar to a point i’ve seen a lot on here, that the saying “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” doesn’t work in practice because it only applies to people who have the luxury of their problems being temporary at all. a lot of us do not have that privilege.

addiction and suicide often go hand in hand, but also act as a fork in the road for severely struggling teens. for a long time, the substances i was addicted to kept me alive. i chose the “temporary relief” our health teachers love to devalue and villainize over the “permanent solution” that gets similar treatment. i’m now recovering from opioid and alcohol addiction and im about two months clean. im proud to be in recovery and dont want to go back to drinking and using but i also dont regret my years of heavy drug use because i fucking survived those years by the skin of my teeth, my own strength and my drugs.

i didn’t become an addict as a barely teenaged kid because i thought it was cool, i became an addict because i didn’t know how to stay alive if i had to live with my unaltered brain and my life circumstances. nothing that was taught to me about temporary relief and liver damage and criminal records and driving laws and peer pressure could have prevented that because 1) none of it addressed any root causes of addiction and 2) going back to the suicide point, it was all geared towards privileged kids who likely wouldn’t ever be in the type of situation where their problems are temporary and unsolvable. most adults assume that all kids and teens are that lucky, especially upper middle class white adults who are absolutely ignorant to the reality that there are actually children going through tougher shit than they have as grown adults. to them, drugs are evil, kids are dumb, and life is fucking simple.

i can’t go back in time and find out what might have actually prevented my addictions but i can propose some ideas. first of all, we need to stop the ableist rhetoric that addiction is a choice. it’s a mental illness and it’s a coping mechanism. addicts are not evil. full stop, no debate. secondly, we need to offer other actual options for teens with disabilities, mental health issues, abusive home lives, etc. the hard truth is that even though drugs really can ruin your life, they are also more reliable than most school therapists. if we don’t want kids to turn to drugs (and this also goes for self harm, eating disorders, and a lot of other shit) then we need to give them a place they can turn to.

adults frame drugs, and, by extension, addicts, as “the demon plaguing our youth” when in reality their lack of support and understanding is probably the biggest cause of not just teen addiction but a lot of other mental health related problems becoming more prevalent. if your 8th grade student would rather turn to a bottle of pills than their counselor or parents then that’s not a problem with the kid and it’s not the fault of what their taking, it’s the institution that is failing to support that child.

[sleepy-grav3]

Obsessions - Family

A/n: So, a while back, I made this little thing about obsession speculations. Well, I made a few oneshots about that even further back and just found them. It's a mini-series that looks like it was attached to another fanfic plan? Well, I have no idea what the plan was, so I'm giving you this. There are 4 parts I made? This and the 3rd part are finished, but the 2nd and 4th are incomplete. Better together but still understandable as a standalone, you know?

Summary: Jazz has finally gotten through to Vlad in their therapy sessions. Danny is a bit on edge but relieved. Then Vlad has a talk with Jack and Maddie. Many things are shared.

TW: Unprofessional and very improvised medical treatment, mention of stalking, mention of attempted murder, intensified canonical death(s) (I made it so much worse, but it's not too detailed), hints at suicidal thoughts, hints as attempts, internalized homophobia, polyamory (I don't consider it a trigger but some people don't like it so whatever), mention of a dead kitten

Vlad/Maddie/Jack; Danny's obsession is Space and Protection; Vlad's obsession is Family; Liminal amity Park; Vlad loves animals; Amity is Danny's haunt and the people, animals, ghosts, and more sentient plants that live there are his people; Ghosts feel things more intensely and it's overwhelming for halfas who are also still alive and not built or used to it; ghosts are empaths, they know what other people around them are feeling

Danny was sitting on his bed with a needle and fishing line in hand, sewing a particularly long and deep enough cut from his last fight, when his door slammed open. He jumped, eyes wide, blood draining from his face, and heart entirely stopping.

He feared the worst, thinking about how to explain to his parents about such a large injury that couldn’t possibly be from bullying, but then he realized who it was. Jazz.

She was more frazzled, hair a mess and panting heavily. But thanks to ghost speak, allowing him to be the best empath a living person could be, he could tell she wasn’t scared or panicking. It was similar in intensity, but it was the opposite. She was excited and enthusiastic.

“I did it!” She laughed. Tears were springing forth from her eyes as she paced around, waving her hands around. “I actually did it! I-I helped him- I convinced- I- Holy shit, Danny! I did it!”

Danny sighed, shoulders slumping without the previous worry he harbored. He allowed his heart to beat once more, finishing his stitches as Jazz let out her excitement and… relief? No, it was satisfaction. Huh.

“It wasn’t- I didn’t think that- Wow! I didn’t know how it was all going to work because of how obsessions work and his seemed like it was leaning towards control but- But it wasn’t! And while the situation is a bit weird now, it’s- I got a breakthrough!”

Danny raised a brow as he looked up, having finished tying the knot and snipping off the rest while she spoke.

“Can I ask or are you implementing privacy protocols?”

Jazz took a few breaths, letting out a few airy chuckles.

“I-... No it’s…” She took another breath. “Vlad- I’ve been talking to him.” she quickly went to clarify once seeing Danny tense. “And yes, I’m fine. He hasn’t done anything. He’s sent me gifts and sent me a bunch of textbooks and all that- but nothing over the moon.”

Danny pursed his lips, making Jazz smile. He always hated how she’d slip in astronomy into the conversation to calm him down. She knew how it affected his ghostly side. It was like a sedative, a drug. It worked every time.

He was worried the addiction would grow like it had for other ghosts. Jazz stated that it was more like a prescription for a health condition. After that conversation, it clicked. She must’ve been talking with Frostbite. Damn her empathetic nature. It wasn’t even caused by some instinct (though he supposed that she may have a mother’s instinct with how she always saw through him).

“When did you…?”

“He wasn’t sure which place to get Maddie from and what would be best suited for them.” It took a moment for Danny to remember about Vlad's first cat.

“But why did he ask you?”

“He thought I wanted to be a vet. And yes, I did for a while just to be around animals. Always wanted a snake- but it wasn’t really… Anyway- The last time Mom talked about me before the incident, it was about me helping a friend with their grumpy cat.”

“Well, he went to the right person, I guess. He officially has 4 of them now.”

“Officially?”

“Remember the whole stray thing?”

It started with Danny finding a dead kitten in a parking lot. His obsession about protecting his people, including the animals and even some plants, had hit him hard. He ended up crying to Vlad about it when the older halfa saw him going on a frenzy to find all the strays in Amity to see if they were ok.

Vlad decided to join him and bought a whole building for the strays they've found. It's a play area open for adoption and just to hang out. But before that, he had to keep them in his mansion. He had to throw out his old wardrobe because of all the fur.

It was funny to think back on. Vlad spoiled them so much but refused to admit how attached he got to them even when he had 3 kittens climbing him, a surprise raccoon on his shoulders, and 2 dogs running circles around him.

“Oh, right.” Jazz snickered a bit before shaking her head. “After approaching him enough times while you were out, I was able to start talking with him. And now, he came to a conclusion!”

“And that is…?”

Jazz hesitated for a moment.

“So… how do you feel about hooking him up with mom-”

He opened his mouth.

“-and dad?”

He closed it, eyes now wide. Jazz pursed her lips, analyzing every micro-expression before falling back into therapist-brain when she found nothing.

“I know you aren’t comfortable with him after everything, but you must’ve noticed how he’s calmed down a bit, right? He’s trying and-”

“It’s related to his obsession. He has one.” Danny interrupted; Jazz could hear his slow relief sneaking in. “It’s not… You said it wasn’t control. It's... it's really not?” His expression held hesitant hope. As if he was trying to be careful not to get his hopes up.

Jazz smiled softly. “No, it’s not.”

Danny let out a small sigh of relief, slumping forward. Jazz could see the energy- something similar to adrenaline- drain out of him. He looked more tired now.

The exhaustion he carried was identical to that of a retired veteran soldier. It made a piece of her ache each time he let loose enough to show it. It made her wilt when she saw the similar expressions on his friends as well.

Val was an exception, but it was only because she acted like a military person during training rather than after war.

It made sense.

She hated how it did.

He looked up again, now with a more appreciative look. One that was thankful and genuinely happy.

“Congratulations on your breakthrough.”

“It’ll be a bit easier now, right?”

Danny let out a small chuckle. “Maybe.” He let out another sigh as his head spun a bit from the relief.

He could feel how fuzzy everything was starting to become as something in him twisted. He could feel his core amplifying whatever emotions he was feeling to the point he felt numb. The feeling made it harder to tell if he was breathing, it made it harder to stay in the moment.

He could see Jazz coming closer and he could only smile. He was happy. He was so happy. It felt like he was a step closer to completing something.

“Maybe…”

---

“Can we talk? Just the 3 of us?”

It was a few days after another session with Jazz when he finally convinced himself to talk with Maddie and Jack. Maddie looked at him more skeptically.

It was to be expected, and it made his core want to cry. But Jack accepted without hesitation, looking more than excited to see him. He smiled a bit, feeling his core mend itself with the acceptance alone that he received from Jack of all people. The very person he wanted to kill until about a week ago.

They shuffled to the living room where Vlad could finally sense Daniel in his room along with Jazz’s liminality along with him. It was always difficult to sense liminals, ghosts, or even Daniel in the household due to how much ectoplasm the scientists dealt with. It was worse than how difficult it was to track Daniel’s presence (ghost form or not) when he left Amity Park while Daniel out with his friends or at school.

It’s why he implemented cameras. He had deactivated them once the second truce came around, instead deciding to call Jazz regularly for updates. She was fully honest with him, it was relieving. It made his core hum with glee.

“So what did you want to talk about, Vladdie?”

Vlad took a shaky breath. He didn’t want to lie anymore. He didn’t talk about this to any of the children, but he didn’t want things to bite him back in the future if this worked out.

“Remember the proto-portal? The one we made back in college?”

“Yes?” Maddie confirmed hesitantly, feeling the tension of the room grow.

“Something happened to me then. I got a disease of sorts. It was fatal.”

The 2 of them stilled.

“But you recovered!” Jack exclaimed, though there was a growing puddle of fear. Of concern.

Vlad took another breath, eyes starting to sting.

“I was put into intensive care. They didn’t know what to do, it was a new field entirely. I kept getting sicker and sicker until they gave up and prescribed pain meds in dosages that should’ve been lethal near the end.”

Their hearts dropping was almost audible. Jack’s expression crumbled and Maddie’s became unrecognizable. There was too much weight in her emotions to try and piece together what she was feeling. He was too scared to find out. He was too scared to regret not saying the words “I wish” when his recovery picked up years ago.

He remembered the months during his recovery after he became a halfa. He woke up feeling a rush of so much that he felt numb until he could process it properly. He was still under immense danger of dying. He argued with the doctors, even begged, to go back into the coma he was placed into. He wanted to die without fear or any more pain.

They told him that he’d heal quicker if he was awake. That he was getting to the top of that hill. That he’d go downhill at top speed to his full recovery. He didn't believe them; he didn't want to hope. But heal, he did.

But it was so different as he did.

Too different.

He felt things so much more and it was so intense. His emotions were so strong that he couldn’t stand existing any longer in his lonely room. A room he thought he’d have to stay in for the rest of his life when his condition would go back to life threatening.

“I-” His voice cracked a bit, turning to Jack. “I thought what I felt for you was hate. That I blamed you for what happened to me.”

He wanted someone beside him then. He craved warmth he had only gotten from Maddie and Jack. The feelings he held for Maddie were so simple to understand at that time. It was socially accepted. What he felt for Jack was different. It was, in fact, much more intense. Shivers and goosebumps each time he remembered how Jack would hold him when he got a small injury or was out of breath trying to catch up to the athlete. He felt so small, so vulnerable.

“Vlad-” Jack started, his heart shattering from the fall and flowing through his voice. Vlad could see his tears at the edge of his eyes, ready to begin a stream.

To Maddie, he felt like he could provide whatever she wanted.

To Jack, he thought he felt like he was being treated like someone below him, that he needed to be doted on to be on par with the 2 of them.

But that wasn’t it.

To Jack, he felt like he didn’t have to shoulder any burdens. That he could be loved without truly doing anything in return, that he didn’t need to do anything but be himself.

“It only made sense in those times that it couldn’t be anything but. However…” He turned to Maddie and smiled softly. “It turns out that it wasn’t just you.”

He hadn’t understood it until Jasmine convinced him into therapy lessons. Practice, she claimed, she swore, she lied. She reminded him of how passionate ghosts were. How passionate he was and is.

It was then that he found that he loved Jack more than Maddie at first. That it was such an intense feeling that he confused it with hatred.

It didn’t help that their relationship would’ve been frowned upon then, that it would’ve been impossible and potentially illegal to seal the deal with a ring or even a simple kiss.

It took a moment for her to understand what Vlad was referring to. Her eyes widened, jaw dropping as she looked over at Jack before back at Vlad. Vlad nodded. She shook her head and took a breath.

“What? What do you mean-” Jack was still in the dark. Though, he always was the dense one. “You… You don’t hate me?”

“No, Jack. Though I hope that after this, you’ll be willing to give me a chance.”

“After- I don’t understand.” Jack turned to his wife. “What does he mean? The illness and ‘not just you’? What is he talking about?”

Maddie placed a hand on his shoulder, lips starting to wobble. She seemed to shake her head for a moment.

“He’s been-” She paused, eyes widening slightly before she let out a broken laugh. “He’s been obsessed with me for a long time. And… well, I guess you’re a target now too.”

Jack took a moment to process her words before his face flushed scarlet red. Though he couldn’t speak a word or react further. He simply froze up, making Maddie smile before her lips wobbled and dropped it.

“Are you normally so aggressive?”

The topic was obvious. It made Vlad hopeful that she’d listen.

“No. I was in denial and it had made me sick. For those of my kind, emotional and mental pain is like physical pain to the living. Denying my… my purpose for existing, my obsession, took a toll on me. Ghosts that attack Amity aren’t actually aiming to hurt people. They tend to go too far and forget how fragile living beings tend to be, especially humans.”

Maddie took a breath, looking down.

“They know.” It wasn’t a question.

“They know.” Vlad confirmed. Jazz and Danny knew about him from the very beginning.

Maddie took another breath.

“Why Danny?” Why did you obsess over him like you did with me?

“What- what about Dann-o?” Jack blinked back in.

“It was easier to get to him than Jasmine in my mind. Not only is he a male, but he was struggling with studies. There was also a sort of… connection I had with him. Perhaps it’s due to that portal downstairs. He has been exposed since the womb. Your children have not been fully human for a long time. Liminals at the very least, just as the city is becoming.”

“The city..?”

“Let’s just say that the ambient ectoplasm is the only thing blocking their signatures while that portal is only strengthening their liminality.”

“...”

Jack and Maddie seemed more sick. But Jack shook his head, getting himself back into the topic at hand.

“So- You-... You’re an ectoplasmic entity?”

Vlad swallowed.

“Yes… I’m what they’d call a halfa. According to a roommate, the long exposure from the proto-portal had forced my body to eventually adapt to it and learn to circulate and circulate it differently until it had… Halfas need to go through the process multiple times before they’re stuck as part of the living and part of the dead.”

“Vladdie…”

“I did not feel the final process. I was put into a medical coma. According to the doctors, I had flatlined multiple times and they had to shock me back plenty of times before I became what I am. I still get reminders, but that is a topic for another time.”

It was silent after that. Jack moved almost robotically as he came over, pushing up a sleeve and checking for his pulse. It was too feint to detect from there. He went for his neck next, looking up to Vlad in case he wished for him to give him space. Vlad didn’t fight back, so Jack started focusing on the pulse rate and translating it.

20 beats per minute.

It used to be a low average of 60-70 bpm. It had slowed over the years. He didn’t want to think what would happen when it finally stopped for good. It was already hard enough to remember he had to give a little thought of keeping some semblance of being alive when he was still so tempted to utter a wish.

Maddie came up next to him, lightly pushing him so he’d move enough to let her continue the silent physical exam. Once he did, she started checking his breathing. Then his reflex speed of his eyes in response to light. Then his joint reflexes.

They did all sorts of harmless tests, Maddie writing them down. After finishing the doctor check-up basics, they gave him some room. It made him both relieved and even more scared.

“Would a concussion show as a normal reaction speed?” Maddie asked.

Vlad blinked.

“Ah… No. While it’s much faster now, pupil dilation while concussed is the same as a normal person. Also, bleeding is less in volume, but I can self-heal.”

Maddie nodded and wrote it down.

“Do… Do ghosts have doctors? What if you get sick? We don’t know enough to help you if you do.” Maddie mentioned.

“What… What are you saying?” Please, please be what I’m thinking.

Jack placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling brightly.

“I think we have some time to make up! I’ll make some fudge!”

Maddie grabbed his shoulder before he could rush to the kitchen.

“I may be a little… on edge about this whole thing, but with time, I think we can be something. The 3 of us.”

Vlad’s eyes widened and teared up, his core practically squealing in delight. He felt as though his body was lighter. It felt easier to breathe, to make his heart beat, to- to exist.

All he needed to do was give it time. He hoped they’d be as accepting with Daniel as they were with him. And Danielle… They’d accept her too, won’t they? He hoped they’d forgive him about that. It wasn’t his… best moment.

He didn’t realize he started crying until he was pulled into a tight embrace by Jack, who had moved him onto his lap to comfort him. Maddie left them to it, deciding her next step.

She had traps to get rid of and weapons to recalibrate.

-----

A/n: Yes, Danny did faint. Why was that? Well, I'm not telling. comment what you think though. Hope you enjoyed.

Also, the next chapter or whatever, it's a dc x dp thing. I'll comment when the next chapter is up and add 2 links, a masterlist and part 2.

[prima-after-dawn]

Projecting my period cramps onto Sentinel because he deserves his ego knocked down a peg or two

- 🦋

You so fragging real for this, Butterfly.

I’ve always had NIGHTMARE cramps on my first period day and such heavy bleeding the whole day/night I spend HOURS on and off the toilet when I’m too uncomfortable to lay down and try to nap, which fortunately I’m able to do most of the time when my cramps are THE worst and sleep through most of that. No prescription or OTC pain meds have ever helped for more than six months bc my body is just such a fucking powerhouse it’s like “Oh, what’s this? A new drug for me to build up a massive tolerance to? Don’t mind if I do!” Heating pads don’t work, hydrating doesn’t do anything for the pain (just makes sure I don’t bleed out and freaking die I guess), and eating things like 72-90% cacao dark chocolate that are supposed to help don’t work either. And I refuse to take drugs like birth control for it cuz that shit fucks your body up so bad over time and I am tryna have offspring lol 🙃 So literally my only option is to either sleep through the worst or just suffer

So yeah, there is definitely a part of me that’s like, “Yeah, if I could bestow this female experience upon an evil individual, I would” and Sentinel is certainly one of those I would bestow my agony and discomfort upon 🥰

Anyway, I do wanna say that there is ONE thing that has helped reduce my cramping to a moderate level rather than severe for most of my periods and that is CARIONA! Info below :)

They make pads out of plant fibers that come in all sizes, come with a waterproof travel/storage bag, have no fragrances, chemicals, or unnatural dyes, are super comfy, and have never leaked in my experience even during my heaviest flow (and I’m a side sleeper!). And the best part is, you can just throw ‘em all into the washing machine when you’re done bleeding and wash on delicate, warm water, and light detergent, then air dry them! I always used U by Kotex pads before I bought a variety pack from Cariona and in the year I’ve had them so far the change in my pain has been VERY noticeable. Less pain (still bad but much more manageable), more comfortable, not wasting money and plastics buying $15-30 boxes of disposable pads every month. Cariona’s pads will last 2-3 years depending on use and the variety pack I got was only about $100! This shit’s so good, PLEASE try them out if you get a chance to! They’ve made me and so many other women feel so much better during periods. NOT SPONSORED!

[dailyautophagy]

I have off tomorrowwwwwwwsa

we all do probably but

it doesn’t feel like Saturday to me

I’m a big fan of that lol

I don’t have a ramble in me but imma force one out because

This Tom papa special is pretty good but i don’t wanna give my undivided attention to it

He is making jokes about food influencing your behavior and mood and I know he makes his own bread cause I listen to him on podcasts lol and he is just good at his job and doesn’t preach to people he just does good jokes that might make people think twice before eating a bag of cool ranch Doritos because a while after you want to kill yourself a lil

I think I typed that 5 hours ago and then i came back to this to ramble more and then tumblr did a crash and it didn’t save the rambles after this ramble (sad, because decent lol)

there are four married men at my work that go out of their way to be nice to me and like not other people and just

why

i mean know why (and no I ain’t gonna touch it) but like why do they think that’s okay lol are they just being nice out of pity

I know it is not ideal to be aware of motivation existing for every and all things but like it does and therefore no these people are not just being nice to be nice there is a reason

There’s always a reason for everything even if it’s not a good one or

Like I don’t know the reason we evolved brains that are painfully aware of our imminent death but I know there IS ONE lol

I know a lot of the reasons for things now, health issue things, sadnesses and such

Don’t pretend being depressed is just part of life and it won’t be / I think therefore I am / if you say you can you will & if you say you can’t you’re right /

You get it

I am tired

I want to cum

I need to drink water

We’re all the same really lol

The thing about ants not tryna leave the boundaries when someone draws circles around them and then showing all the BORDERS OF COUNTRIES like I get it lol but we need them at this point because without them the places that suck will trickle into the places that are nice - if we had started with no borders everyone would be the same maybe lol or dead

I know nothing John snow don’t fucking listen to me

You can actually :/ i do know a lot of things and it’s not like hidden secret knowledge it’s just not ever addressed lol because guess what’s easier? Popping pills

I don’t like that about the world

It card to find someone without a prescription lol even I smoke weed ffs that kinda counts plant or not

The only person raw dawging life is ….no one.

Find me someone not drinking caffeine and not prescribed anything. I thought did but he sneaks cans of Coca Cola and has prescriptions now (cause he didn’t take care of his damn body)

AND NOW IT IS 3AM

It’s three am I must be lonelyyyy

No it’s actually 411 according the the fucking alarm clock this asshole downstairs is sleeping through lol it’s set for 405 so even I didn’t hear it for a whole 6 minutes .. but I’m not IN THAT ROOM LIKE HE IS. Idk how people sleep through loud noises like that lol DRUGS?!?

I mean dude makes almost 1000 a week and I take 300 because life is expensive and this isn’t a goddamn homeless shelter but he’s somehow always poor lol which like how - I’m buying the groceries

Which I forgot I said if I had to pay for them I wasn’t going to be also preparing all his meals like you want a slave you gotta stock my shit lol

But last night he was napping (last night aka like 5pm yesterday) so I went in the kitchen WHERE I BELONG to make dinner and put dishes away and I made rice (which just requires patience like you gotta wash the rice and then let it boil - I do a cup of rice almost 2 TBSP of oil and 1/2 tsp salt and 1.75 C water and I hate American measurements lol I think that was one way they tried to fuck up our ability to use food as medicine. Cause back in the Florence nightingale time (and location) they had recipes we prolly never even heard of. Remedies and recipes

I get so mad now when people don’t understand that our own body is responsible for our own healing and you just gotta it the right conditions lol like definitely SET broken bones and definitely antibiotics have saved lives but MOST things most illnesses and even most diseases are within our realm of fixing. You don’t need doctors. We didn’t evolve from cavemen because doctors existed. I’d venture to argue that doctors now do more harm than good. Granted we are not taught the things or given the tools to know how to fix ourselves lol but like the truth is out there man lol

Seriously though I wish I found Barbara O’Neill when I was in school. I graduated highschool in 2008 and dropped out of college after people started dying from pills and getting their drugs laced with fentanyl lol but alas my career didn’t require it.. despite everyone else I work with having a college degree.. So LOL at them.

I’d be in legitimate debt instead of just bad at money

Also I swear to fucking god these assholes are going to make me take my days off around Christmas so I don’t get all the OT again lol

Trust me, your omnipotent creator doesn’t get offended by words, and since I’m not a believer like that I’m not actually using the lords name in vain or whatever the fuck …. Wait yes I am because I am using it in an empty or meaningless way … I always thought it meant thinking like “this is gods fault” and being so disappointed by god you then curse him

I don’t know

Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. Religion is responsible for all the wars. And those imaginary lines we decided were worth killing people over. I mean now it’s too late the lines are necessary because some countries are shit holes and some are not but maybe if we had never segregated ourselves we wouldn’t be so different from eachother but TOO LATE what’s done is done and now I don’t want people imported from other hemispheres and TBH neither do their gut biomes you’re supposed to eat the food indigenous to your area lol that’s why I can fuck with everything apples forever like I wasn’t raised on milk I was raised on apple cider lol AND IVE NEVER BROKEN A BONE I’ve really fucked up my elbows and tailbone but nothing to my knowledge ever broke perhaps teeny tiny fractures and for sure bruises but never casts never snaps 🤞 I hope I hope I hope the universe never makes me / I never do anything to warrant that karma lol my brain is the mob btw if I disrespect the order of the world instant karma and thus far it (my karma) has been eerily accurate

If I’m mean or do a rude thing, something bad happens to me lol usually nothing too serious but low key (so low key I would never actually say this to humans esp my sister) but I think my XL abortion is why I don’t have parents - which I know is like not how cancer works lol I know they grew that shit over so many years and it was a direct result of their lifestyle / dietary choices - but yet I still feel that(low key) if I had had that baby they would not be dead.

And that’s a weird way to feel.

But I don’t think there’s anything after this lol because I think energy gets recycled but not SOULS or whatever makes us have a spark of electricity in every cell. Salt water I guess lol shits crazy

There’s so many layers to health and once you realize the building blocks matter

Like do people not liken it to gas grades and cars

Put premium in your body it is worth it and ultimately over time regular will fuck up the engine

Our body our cells our mf dna is made up of what we eat lol well it’s actually nucleotides but NUTRITION AFFECTS HOW WE MAKE NUCLEOTIDES and therefore our dna BUT we cannot change our chromosomes and we cannot fully detox from an mRNA vaccine lol

I should go back to sleep lol

I want to brag about famous people living near me and being on my ro…can’t even say that lol as I don’t wanna dox myself or career

If you know my job don’t fucking tell people please lol they don’t need to know

Suffice it to say that I only own a home because my parents are dead and not because my career is a real money maker lol but

See can’t even brag about the benefits without basically doxing

Doxing is a such a faggot word lol

And concept tbh like mind your business troll

I hope every human responsible for the squirrel euthanized in NEW YORK okay caps gets mugged Or assaulted Or like some not death but like a physically painful thing happen to them because what the fuck is wrong with you lol you did this because you were “concerned”? Well now it’s dead, are you happy? Nothing to be “concerned” about. Fucking disgusting. And obviously voting for Kamala so like

The type of people who are voting blue blindly are the type of people who can’t mind their own business and need the tv to tell them what to believe

Also imagine setting a ballot box on fire and genuinely believing you’re on the right side of history

You don’t have to like trump personally but you do have to respect the fact that millions of us do and we literally elected him to be a presidential candidate despite the television programming everyone to hate him - we don’t watch news lol maybe someone watch fox but like I do think most of us don’t even have cable anymore like

Now tis 6am and I am still not back asleep lol but it’s not dark anymore so I might have to stay awake

I love my nails and I’m so grateful for the glass files the pretty blonde one told me about (I mean I think I knew they existed but I didn’t use them lol) and my nails like so useful so strong so GOOD FOR PICKING MY FACE which is BAD lol I can’t not pick my face I hate this for me

Like I’m probably better off touching my phone cause then I’m not picking my face lol but being perpetually on tumblr feels like not a good thing but also it is the best way to not spend money lol not shopping online OR FIND US IN THE APP or whatever something about capital letters in advertising always made me feel like a robot was yelling at me

Rumble is the best way to watch Barbara I always just listened on SoundCloud whilst at work but the viewing of her and the white board is a much different experience lol not hugely better but a little better

Seinfeld and laying with bobo

Bison steaks!!! I forgot they are amazing and ground bison burgers are kind of not lol so just be aware

I think they’re less fucked with than cows but it’s possible that’s just wishful thinking

End ramble heavy eye shallow breaths maybe i will see you inn the dream world WHO WHO WHO WHO what are you an owl lol sometimes i want to say things just

To be able to make a joke after

And sometimes

I can’t stop wanting

To fix my teeth they are not okay on the bottom like I’m gorgeous my smile is gorgeous but if I talk you can see the bottom teeth are not good and i want it fixed i want it fixed i bought the things to fix them one time and then i did not do it i just used the ugh no doxing me it was like I didn’t truly feel I paid for the jawns?? I assume that’s why i had the gall to waste almost 2k like that

They are useless at this point like my teeth didn’t just go back to how they were before that would be too convenient they’re a new type of screwy now

Whatever I don’t know why I’d use the same people imma prolly try… not byte lol cause I already did byte

But I don’t want one I gotta go to dentist for ever like if I was willing to sit in those chairs and breath those gross airs every month 🤷‍♀️

Okay lay down sleepy lol

[initiala]

Late night “taking a cocktail of medications to figure out how to manage my new diagnoses and it’s making my filters go away” hours posting

So here’s why you shouldn’t take Ozempic for weight loss, from someone who has to take Metformin (another medicine people use for weight loss)

NUMBER ONE. Ozempic and Metformin are actually drugs for managing diabetes and preventing diabetes. You taking it for weight loss instead of doing the hard thing is making it scarce for people who actually need it for medical reasons. Same thing with people who take Adderall to “focus” for college. You’re making it hard for people with ADHD to access their medicine.

NUMBER TWO. It makes you shit liquid for weeks. I’m not even joking. Your shit will be diarrhea for weeks and that’s how the weight comes off. Your tummy will be upset the whole time. You will be miserable. I know this for a fact because I had to change which type of Metformin I took; the kind you take twice a day made me shit my pants multiple times because I trusted too many farts. SHITTING YOUR PANTS AS AN ADULT JUST TO BE SKINNIER IS NOT WORTH IT. DO NOT PAY THE PRICE. YOU WILL BE ON THE TOILET ALL THE TIME AND YOUR TUMMY WILL HURT ALWAYS AND YOU WILL NOT BE BRAVE ABOUT IT.

NUMBER THREE. If constantly shitting liquid wasn’t enough, Metformin is a fucking huge pill. Like it’s ridiculous. And Ozempic, from what I can tell, involves stabbing yourself in the stomach regularly for injections. Those are your options. Swallowing a big pill or stabbing yourself and hoping you know how to inject correctly.

NUMBER FOUR. Stop ordering medicine online without getting prescriptions from doctors, or “getting prescriptions from doctors” which are actually doctors who lost a license to practice but do this anyway because it’s easy money to get people addicted to drugs they don’t need.

[sakuradeservedbetter91]

a girl walks into a bookshop

Pairing: Kakashi/Sakura

Rating: M

Summary: Sakura and Kakashi meeting in a bookshop. Sparks fly.

Tags: bookshop AU, lots and lots of flirting and sexual innuendo, prescription drug use for pain management, modern au

Snippet:

“Hmm, oh where could you be, trashy romance novel?” Sakura murmured to herself, staring dazedly at the rows of books before her, her reusable grocery bag heavy on her shoulder.

Her eyes finally focused on the brightly covered orange books in front of her, and she gasped, reaching out to grab the only copy of Icha Icha Paradise on the shelf. Before her fingers could touch the spine, long, large, masculine fingers snatched the book from beneath her outstretched hand.

“Hey! That’s mine,” Sakura pouted, her eyes widening when she saw the most attractive man attached to those book-thieving fingers.

“Hmm,” his dark eyes roved up and down her figure, “is your name on it?”

“Yes,” she lied, her face hot from being in the mere presence of this beautiful man.

How was that face any fair at all? He should hide it behind a mask for goodness sake and give other people a chance. It didn’t even matter that his hair was silver, and probably much older than he looked, because he was just so handsome. Sakura felt sweat drip down her back, but that was probably just an effect of the muscle relaxer. Not because this man made her nervous, oh no.

“Oh?” he hummed, his lips quirking up into the most sinful smile Sakura had ever seen. “And what’s your name exactly?”

“Sakura,” she said with a huff, crossing her arms and glancing away from his face, only to gulp as her eyes strayed to the rest of this man’s figure in front of her. “Sakura Haruno.”

Holy shit, he was so tall? And oh goodness, his forearms, what the everloving–Sakura snapped her open mouth shut when she realized where her thoughts were taking her, her ears burning.

“Hmm, I don’t see your name anywhere in this book, Sakura,” the tall man said, and Sakura gulped as she noticed his smirk. “I’m Kakashi Hatake by the way, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t, thank you very much,” Sakura said, and she didn’t know where the boldness came from her, but she placed her hand on the book and tugged. “Now please hand over my book.”

Full story on AO3:

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Man those people on your ‘why are you straight edge’ poll are really showing their disdain for people who engage with any sort of drug… if I may add, I voted for having a medical restriction (my liver is failing thank youuuu immune system) AND I also take prescription opiate medication to help with pain. Every time I take my painkillers on days where I’m not working so that I can enjoy my hobbies I have complicated feelings about it because anti opiate rhetoric is just EVERYWHERE and it’s like… I just want to have a nice day. Getting over the ‘oh but it can be ADDICTIVE’ stigma is so important and it’s really not different just because I have a prescription. People who are so nasty about drug use for recreation are so stressful to me.

Ikr it's like people have such disdain for addicts, and drug users in general. I get upset about this because while I personally am a very casual user and I spend most of the time sober and am self assured so I can walk people being dicks about it off, but I know addicts and their lives are hard enough without all the stigma piled on top of it. I just wish everyone could be addiction neutral and pro harm reduction but they're so moralistic about it. I wasnt the politest I could have been about people not drinking and having sex because I was trying to keep it light and I know people take things like this really serious and it kinda backfired.

But like I totally know what you mean about the opioid thing. I really think that our society could benefit from being a little more addiction neutral, because yeah sometimes substance dependency does ruin your life, but I'm neurodivergent and I've met people where I think that doing life with drugs is better for them. Like you raise a great point about opioids. They're dangerous and addictive but if you're in pain because of a disability you need pain management. It's not really an option if you want to lead a normal life. There's a lot of heroin addicts who got that way because they needed pain management and their doctors refused them on the basis that they might become addicted, but taking a daily pill to improve your life, while it may be illegal depending on the substance, isn't bad. I bring up my own neurodivergence because I've heard of the same thing with ADHD and stimulants. Most people who have an ADHD diagnosis can get an Adderall prescription, but undiagnosed people and people falling through insurance cracks will sometimes turn to the street version. And it's like those people, both the ones with a script and the ones who are self medicating, should not be forced to live a substandard life because of someone else imagines there's some purity to a life without drugs. The goal should be to get those people the drugs they need in the safest way possible.

And I come down really easy, to the point where I forget to take prescription meds and don't experience any ill effects, but I have a friend who experiences a come down from their adhd meds thats not unlike the comedown ive seen from my other friend who's a meth user, and this friend with the ADHD meds can't function without them. But when the doctor and the pharmacist get them their meds on time they live a perfectly happy fulfilling life. That's what I mean when I say I'm addiction neutral. Most people who get addicted didn't just pick up heroin or whatever one day for shits and giggles. When I fuck around with "highly addictive" substances I make sure I'm in a good place and it's not a problem to drop them. People who develop problems are usually either they're escaping from something or self medicating. The goal for society can't be to never do drugs we've had drugs literally for longer than we've been humans.

I've heard second hand of a study which I haven't gone looking for, I might, because as you can tell this is a bit of a soap box for me, where they gave Heroin addicts a prescribed dose of heroin like you would pick up Percocet for chronic pain at a pharmacy, and because those addicts weren't shooting up mystery amounts and worrying where they were going to get their next hit from so they didn't start rattling and all the other things that make addicts lives hell, they were able to start doing things like holding down jobs. That study should have been a game changer. I want addicts to be able to live, and selfishly I want to be able to go to the drug store when I'm bored and say "one mdma high no fentanyl please" and leave with something to spice up the afternoon. That's like, not a moral failing on my part even though I'm not self medicating I'm just having fun.

The way the war on drugs has ruined drugs, which like, genuinely drugs are sort of magical when you think about it. Not just the fun ones either. Like when I was a baby I had a really bad bladder infection that absolutely would have killed me if I had had that same situation just like 100 years ago, but my mom was able to force a pill down my throat and it went away. Since then I've probably had at least a dozen little things like that that would have killed me dead if someone hadn't invented a chemical that could interact with my body and make it genuinely not a problem. and the fact that we have that for things like chronic pain and we're too afraid to use it because of stigma is so insane. Like god forbid people get high.

[kuchipark]

South Park AU where all the characters have a signature drug:

(I personally thought this was absolutely hilarious, and also this was just an excuse to make bad puns)

Mr Mackey:

- Crack/smack

His street name is Mr. Crackey, and later on Mr. Smackey.

He feels down in the dumps and “accidentally” does some crack, after which he immediately gets addicted. He goes on the bender of a lifetime and ends up in severe dept to a scary drug dealer, notorious for cutting off the balls of those who don’t pay him back. He decides to sell crack to the elementary students, with the help of Craig Tucker (also known as Crack Tucker), to pay off his dept. Instead of paying the guy back, though, he decides to try some Heroin and thus becomes Mr. Smackey.

Stan Marsh:

- Weed

Street name is Stan The Stoner, (Stanner for short)

Starts selling weed to replace his father, who gave up on weed for his new acid addiction. When you buy his weed you are legally obligated to say you’re “stanned.”

Eric Cartman:

- Cocaine

Street name is Eric Cokeman.

You can buy either Cocaine, or Coca-Cola flavored anything (including Coke flavored coke). He starts selling it because he can. Nothing you buy from him is safe or clean. But his shit is also extremely addictive, so he somehow still has costumers. Sneaks it into ppl’s food on occasion, trying to get them hooked. He hides the cocaine up his ass, every goddamn time (even though it’s not really necessary) and the stench is foul. He claims that it’s just his signature.

Kyle Broflovski:

- Ketamine

Street name is Kytamine or Ketty-B (Kyley-B)

Doing it as a fuck you to his mom, and because Eric wouldn’t get off his ass about how he could “never be as good at selling drugs” as him. Every time you try to buy from him, he goes on a whole monologue of all the dangers and everything you should and shouldn’t do. He’ll tells you exactly how much mg you should use and strongly advocated for people to buy a scale to perfectly measure it. People usually walk away before he’s done talking, and he constantly rants about it to Stan.

Kenny McCormick:

- Methamphetamine/Cocaine

Street name is Kenny MethCokeMick or just Methcokemick. MC for short

Fought with Kyle over the Ketamine, because he personally thinks “Kennymine/Kennamine” would be a better name than Kytamine. But je settled for selling Meth with Marjorine. He’s also addicted to cocaine and “helps out” Cartman with selling; Hence, MethCokemick. His charm is the key to his sales. Richard Tweak is their #1 buyer.

Marjorine Stotch:

- Methamphetamine

Street name is Metharine

Sells meth with Kenny. Just happy to be there. Really convincing seller. Really sweet but if you fuck her over she’ll do worse than snip your balls.

Tolkien Black:

- Tylenol

Street name is Tylenol Black

Has a whole room dedicated to the “craft” of selling prescription drugs. Steals the drugs from his mom who’s a chemist for a pharmaceutical company. His dad knows this but he secretly loves how pissed off Randy gets when he claims that Tolkien steals his business, even though they don’t even sell the same shit.

Tweek Tweak:

- Meth, obviously

Referred to as The Tweak, or just “tweak” for short.

Doesn’t know he’s addicted to meth. He doesn’t know people refer to him as as The Tweak. His parents put meth in his coffee.

Craig Tucker:

- Crack

Street name is Crack Tucker

Helps sell crack to elementary students with Mr. Mackey. Intimidates people into buying his shit or guilts them into buying it: “Oh you don’t want my Crack? Why? Is it because I’m gay? What? You think a a gay guy can’t sell good crack?! I see how it is...” and it’s super effective. Ends up getting more money than he asked for, to show their support for his queerness. Really saves his ass when his former partner, Mr. Crackey, ditches him in exchange for Heroin and blames the money he hasn’t payed back yet on Craig. Started the nickname: “The Tweak.”

Randy Marsh:

-Acid

Street name is Rancid

He chose this name. No, he does not see what’s wrong with it. He’s trying to get his kids hooked on the stuff so that they can “Finally do some fucking family bonding time.” He calls them pathetic, whiny pussies every single time they refuse. And sulks about his lame kids. Actively shit talks Tolkien to costumers. To the point where he’ll see Tolkien sell someone something and he’ll follow them home and stalk them so that he can “coincidentally” run into them and just so happen to bring up how Tolkien peed his pants once back in third grade. He knows this because he constantly bugs Stan about embarrassing moments in Tolkien’s life and if Stan doesn’t wanna tell him any, he’ll ground him for being a “blood betraying judas.”

Heidi Turner:

- Hash

Steet name is Highdi

Hippie. Sells Hash. Wanted to sell weed but could not compete with Stan, so she switched. Advertises all of it as environmentally friendly, cruelty free and vegan. Gets her girls to hand out business cards to everyone around town. The business cards are cute and pink with “WE DONT TEST ON ANIMALS” written in big, bold letters. Her shit is FDA approved.

Rebecca McArthur, AKA Red:

- Red ice (if you ever played Detroit Become Human, yk what that is)

Street name is Red Ice

Red ice isn’t a real drug, but in this universe it is and it was invented by miss Red herself. According to google, red Ice is “a synthetic stimulant composed of trace amounts of thirium, acetone, lithium, toluene, and hydrochloric acid. The molecular formula for Red Ice given in graphics is C17H21NO4 (the chemical formula for cocaine).” Though the contents doesn’t actually really match cocaine, it looks more like meth that is red.

Jimmy Valmer:

- Viagra

Street name is Jimmy Viagra, but people just say Jimmy V

His cerebral palsy isn’t going to stop him from getting it up. His mission is to give his paralyzed buddies the opportunity to get their dick wet. And he advocates for “Boners For The Handicapped” (BFTH) and is very passionate about his cause.

Timmy Burch:

- Shrooms and LSD

Street name is Trippy Timmy

Jimmy V’s number one customer. Got his nickname by selling LSD/shrooms with extremely powerful hallucinations.

Thank you for your time!

Ps: I realize these street names are actually ridiculous and nowhere near realistic, but that’s why it’s fun

[itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread]

“You have a dependence on your prescription medication.”

Not to say anything for people who have had super harmful experiences with drug addiction. This isn’t about that.

However. If your response to someone who can’t function without their life-saving medication is to call them an addict… Idk I think maybe you should reevaluate your life or something.

Like, yes, I have physical withdrawal symptoms when I don’t take my antidepressants. Part of that is because without it, I lose my shit. Like, just naturally. I go insane. Off the rails. I Do Not Like Myself As A Person Or Anyone Else For That Matter. So of course when I regularly take the medication that helps me feel like a Human Person and not like, Idk, a drowning cryptid that’s somehow also on fire, yeah, you know, I might feel the effects of that. Does that mean I need to get off of it? No. Why? Because if my options are to be “addicted” to the medication that keeps me stable, or literally wanting to die, then I’m gonna choose the med.

Of course, this is a fairly mild example because I’m on a lot of fucking medications for my disabilities. Also, some meds stop working after a while because of tolerance levels, which STILL does not mean that the person taking it “needs to get off of meds” for fear of becoming an addict. Those are not the same.

My point here, is that a lot of doctors are now reluctant to prescribe a lot of the medications some of us literally need to function, and it’s because of this culture that can’t seem to distinguish between true addiction** (I.e. non-necessity enjoyment) and medical necessity.

[**There’s a lot more to this part too with healthcare systems and prosecution and shit but tbh I’m running out of steam with this rant sorry].

So anyway yeah. If your response to any person on a prescription medication is to ask them “isn’t the goal to be able to function without it?” OR to straight up call them an addict…

Then you’re an ableist piece of sh*t and I hate you.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[radioactivecallista]

The drivers license renewal system in my state is fucked up, and I’m not even going to get into the fucked-up-ness of appointments just to renew a license and all the requirements for that, and the months-long wait for the next one. I’m going to bitch about the smaller problems that could VERY EASILY be solved if anybody wanted to actually make things better. Clearly they do not.

1. Print the new license on-site instead of making the person wait up to 10 business days to get it mailed. My old employer could make new security badges in 30-60 seconds. You can have a printer at every DMV (probably two printers, given the low reliability of printers in general) and make the new cards right there.

2. Failing that, put an official seal on the temporary printed license. Maybe have it notarized or something like that. Because nobody accept temporary licenses for anything. They have some limited function, I guess - if you get pulled over you can say “see, my license isn’t expired, it was renewed last week” and maybe the cop will check and then not ticket you for having an expired license. But you can’t use it to pick up medication that requires an ID, you can’t buy alcohol with it, you can’t really use it because everyone is like “lol how do I know it’s not fake.” So put some special seal on it and make it a crime to copy the seal, and amend TABC, drug, banking, etc. laws so that if someone accepts a temporary ID with the seal and it otherwise seems legit, they can’t be held liable if it turned out to be a fake, the person with the fake is the one who gets fined.

This whole thing is stupid. I need to pick up a Schedule 2 prescription. I can’t pick it up until my new license arrives in the mail because an expired card with a current, valid paper card isn’t good enough. Fuck you. I’ll live, but I’ll be in more pain than necessary because it’s not bad enough to justify an expensive hospital trip but it’s still very unpleasant and an unnecessarily cruel situation brought about by overly picky ID laws and shitty procedures. And by the time I get my license I’ll probably have healed enough from the antibiotics and acid reducers that the painkillers will be pointless.

I DID try to get in before it expired in March. In December the closest appointment I could get was mid-March, but then they didn’t accept my proof of residency and legal status (seriously?) so I had to do it over and the next available appointment - 30 miles away! - was June. Next one locally was late August, nope no thanks, I’ll just travel a bit. Also they didn’t even ask me for proof of residency at the second place but they did make me prove I wasn’t an “undocumented immigrant.” First of all, it’s a driver’s license, not an application to run for President in 2024, so who cares? Second, I’ve had a license in this state since 1997 - why do you suddenly give a shit now about where I was born? It doesn’t affect my ability to drive. I could have been born on the Moon for all it matters, I clearly passed my driving test and eye exam.

[shallpass13]

Recently had a reoccurring one in which hostile mobs (not from Minecraft, just different groups of monsters) were attacking my home. I had a bit of advance notice and had to figure out how to blockade the building as strongly as possible in a series of stages so that once they took over each progressive part (the porch, the first floor, the stairs) we could have time to fall back, but they wouldn’t be able to get behind us while we were fighting them.

I’ve always been afraid of zombies and other things, real or imaginary, that represent or are in some way related to losing control over oneself and being taken over by something else:

- Spongiform encephalitis (both bovine and human)

- Vines (especially those with aerial rootlets and sucker discs)

- Addictive drugs and other mind-altering substances (except for my prescription drugs and for some reason alcohol, perhaps because it’s more socially normalized in my community)

- When I was younger at least, being in pain*

- To a certain extent, and I’m being brutally honest here, change.

I don’t know when this all started, or why, or how, but I suspect at least some of it is related with my experiences living with ADHD and not-infrequently feeling like I don’t have control over my own brain.

* Right now my experiences with pain and pain tolerance are weird and require further investigation. By this I mean that some evidence suggests I have a high tolerance for pain. Other evidence suggests the opposite. Together, this can mean two things: either I have a low tolerance for pain but my body heals well enough that I don’t feel all that much pain from the things that hurt a lot and I’m used to complaining so I complain a lot about the things that don’t hurt a lot, or I have a really high tolerance for pain but experience what other people would describe as a lot of pain very frequently for some explained and some unexplained reasons. C’est la vie. TL;dr either I’m a huge wuss about pain or something is seriously wrong. Possible third explanation: I’m shit at comparing different levels of pain. Maybe I should try ranking things based on my other measurable reactions!

ok weird poll time???? because apparently i am not normal

you don't need to go into them if you don't want to. im just curious how Not Normal i am because i get nightmares almost every night

[verdantlady]

Reverse Romance Tropes: Too much communication

Another prompt! This was for my writing club and I was completely stumped on what to write about so I decided on a scene from a novel that is more in my head than on paper. I lovingly call it the Lesbian Magical Detective Book :)

Also, I have a hate/love relationship with miscommunication trope so this was therapeutic.

Forgive any mistakes, I hate editing

~~~~~~

Alaris was enjoying her simple lunch from the cafe.  It was beans, rice, and fish like usual, which was a comforting return to routine after days of dealing with her new ice princess of a partner.  According to lovely Mor, the paperwork had been filed wrong… and that was only the first thing in a long list of complaints.

Mor slammed down her tray on the table. “This seat taken?”

Ugh.  What Alaris wanted to say was yes, but even she knew she had run out of friends in the Volgen.  There was about a ten foot radius around her in the seating area.  She needed to double check her deodorant was working, because she was desperate at this point. That’s what happens when you have a short fuse.

“Nope. Not taken.”  Alaris muttered around a mouth full of beans. 

The corners of Mor’s lips turned down as she observed the sad picture Alaris made.

“Right well. Then you won't mind if I sit here?” She said, clearly already settling in.

Alaris rolled her eyes.  You already are, she thought and then opened her mouth to say as much.  “I am having a bad day so I would rather you were anyone else.” The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. Had she meant to say that?  Definitely not. Maybe she needed to go home early today. Not like she was going to make progress on the case.

Mor huffed, already starting in on her stew, while simultaneously pulling out the incident report from the potion smuggling ring from their morning bust.  Of course she was going to use her lunch to rewrite it.  “I’m sure.  It doesn’t seem like anyone is lining up to sit here so guess we’re both out of luck.” 

Alaris grunted around a mouthful of fish. Mor rolled her eyes.

“While we're both here, can you rewrite your portion of the arrest protocol?  It’s sloppy.”

“It’s lunch and I wish you would stop talking.” Alaris blinked and frowned down at her food.  That had just slipped right out.

Mor sighed deeply, “Alright then.” And pulled the report closer to herself. “Then you can finish it after lunch.”

“Can’t. Half day.” She’s definitely leaving early now.

“What could you possibly be doing for the rest of the day?”

Quick think of something. “I’ve got an appointment with the apothecary for more dreamless sleep because I’ve run out of my monthly prescription.” A long pause in which Mor’s white eyebrows climbed her forehead. “Shit.” She had not meant to say that. And like vomit the words continued to pour out.  “And after that I’ll probably eat stew at the sad tavern below my apartment.” Oh God. “And later smoke a cigarette with my cat Ancient Demonic Script.” NO “And finally have an angry wank where I picture you doing paperwork in your underthings and yelling at me.” 

Alaris slapped a hand over her mouth. And with her other hand pinched her thigh just in case this was a wildly realistic nightmare.  Please let it be a nightmare. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say any of that.” She rushed out.

Mor’s face was unusually red, as she cleared her throat. “I think you’ve been drugged.”

Alaris nodded, her face equally aflame. “I think that perfume I accidentally sprayed on myself at the potions shop might have been more than awful smelling.”

“Yes, clearly it wasn’t created for its smell.  Let's get you to the on staff medic, shall we?”

“You’re so hot when you tell me what to do.” Alaris groaned and collapsed forward onto the table. “Somebody fucking gag me before I say anything else.”

Mor laughed.  For the first time all day it wasn’t derisive, but it was still at Alaris’ expense. “I would, but clearly you’d like it too much.”  She tugged on Alaris’ arm. “Come on, before we discover another side effect, let's get you fixed up.”

[alyjojo]

October 🌹 2024 Monthly - Gemini

Preshuffle: There’s a situation that’s caused pain in the family or in a living situation before, you’re finding out something regarding this that wasn’t previously known - clarity & truth 💡

Meditation: Wow. So Taurus’s message had The Empress’s garden, and yours has that same garden but at night-time, you’re like “The Night Watch.” I’m seeing bright lights around everything, like museum displays, and little cameras right next to the lights, because you’d have to look into the light to even see the camera, and no one will. Could be dealing with a Taurus, especially family. Or…surveillance?

Main energy: 10 Cups

What’s going on in October:

9 Wands, 9 Cups rev, Page of Pentacles, The High Priestess & The Wheel of Fortune rev

Your reading made me laugh a little. With Marriage highlighted, or solid relationships, there’s a blip on the radar. You’re showing up as the more practical & stable of the two, whereas your person may shoot from the hip or go overboard in some way or another. You’re used to it. I’m seeing a woman at a bar order ten Jell-O shots and her guy/girl behind her ordering some waters, because “he knows where this is going.” You’re the logical thinker here, the one that’s always prepared. Probably because you love the hell out of this person - Queen of Pentacles, I’m hearing they’re your Queen/King, you could even use those as pet names. I’m also hearing “acts of service,” you could be the kind of person that likes to make sure everyone else is comfortable before you sit down. Or they’re normally that person - but you like to be that for *them* specifically. Cater to their needs, it’s a very sweet, loving, and generous energy from you.

Oh snap...the next row has drug abuse for someone, not all, there are painful truths about this being communicated by someone showing up as The Hierophant. I’m seeing pills 💊 Could be a doctor or a counselor. If not abuse, something missed with medicine, a mix-up even, could be literal pain pills with 9 Wands & 9 Cups rev, I’m hearing “Xanax”. Pain could also be caused because of some kind of medical mix-up. I don’t think this is you, it’s definitely a spouse or the like, for someone that has one. I’m also seeing ADHD medicine for someone with children in school, you could be hearing something from a school counselor even, about that. Or it could simply be your kid has a headache in school and they won’t give them medicine without a doctor’s prescription, even Ibuprofen. Tarot can sometimes make things sound extreme, but I’m getting some lesser drama stories too. On the spectrum of what I’m saying here, and I’m also hearing “on the spectrum” apply to someone. Could be ADD/Autism but that’s not the only story…not the only diagnosis? It’s all I’m getting specifically. Note: I’m not a doctor, I read cards and hear shit 👍

Whatever news you’re hearing is heartbreaking for you to hear, this is someone you work with closely or even helped to do something in the first place. Like you bought the prescriptions or were involved in a supportive way, but never knew they were taking too much or somehow doing this incorrectly…it feels like family. Or you just want to give them what they want but can’t because of your better sense and whatever this Hierophant is saying - feels like a teacher, other parent, doctor, expert of some kind. You have to listen to this, they’re an authority or something. A very specific message - if someone around you has abused medication or something before - they have not quit, or “learned their lesson,” and are keeping this a secret. Or rather, with The High Priestess, you know what’s up and even help & enable them. This could all be switched for someone too, someone may be getting into trouble for you, or because they’ve helped you.

The High Priestess is what you know, what you’re quiet about, and that is pressure from the law, a boss, father, spouse, the rules. You were aware of the problem before being officially notified, basically. You know this is a difficult cycle and there’s nothing you can really do about it, or you’re seeing the consequences for your actions. Or someone else’s but they’re your spouse/person, so you’re stuck with them too. Some kind of consequence is blocking you from progress, or blocking your person from what they want, for now.

Advice for Gemini: The Moon and 9 Swords

So if The High Priestess is what you do know, this is saying you should be worried about what you don’t know 💯 This is also showing if you or they are going for underhanded solutions or keeping something in the dark, there is or should be worries around this. Sounds like a warning. With Confidence and Trap at the bottoms, things are definitely not what they seem in this situation or with this person.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Pisces, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aries & Gemini

Oracle: ✨

Marriage 💍

Sweet Love - Couple - Dependency

Saving 💰

Preservation - Collection - Meanness

45 Collaboration

Creative people can be impaired by sharing and stimulating creativity in others.

We enter into October as:

Electric Blue Moon 🌚:

“If I don’t take care of it, it’ll never happen.”

It is not time to force an issue. If something feels important to you, you may be jumping the gun. If you are impatient, you may block something wonderful from coming to you. Now is not the time for a rushed decision, even if you think you’ve given something “plenty” of time, give it more. You have made your needs known to Spirit, now leave it alone. If you try to force a situation, you may bind yourself to something you could come to know as a hinderance. Allow right action to happen in its own time.

What is to be learned in October:

Kelly the Green Dragon 🐉:

“The tempter is as guilty as the thief.”

When the need for something outweighs our desire to maintain integrity, we are out of balance. There are several factors to consider, first, are you being honest with yourself? Are you really giving everything you have to give in this situation, or are you just giving up? Are you expecting things to just come easily to you? Consider the motives behind greed, what has left you feeling cheated? Are you sure others let you down, or did you have a sense this was going to happen and ignored the signs? Have you mislead yourself? No matter where we are, we need friends. It could be time to cultivate some new friendships, things may be easier if you ask for help. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t come from where you want it to. Often, assistance comes from somewhere we least expect.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[061801]

I really want to write out how I feel about this whole situation but it’s extremely hard because I don’t even understand. It’s confusing because he’s an ex who gave me an extremely hard time. I carry a lot of pain and anger because I put down every single wall I had for him to make me build an even bigger one. He cheated on me, gave me pills/drugs, took my prescription drugs, stole valuable things from me, spit in my face literally, made me do things because he knew he could threaten to leave me if I didn’t do them and I’d be sad, lied about random shit that didn’t even matter. Looking back I don’t even understand how I got so hooked. I was young and naive that’s really the only explanation. I had no family, no friends, no money. I literally had nothing. This guy who I viewed as a tough guy started calling me pretty and asked for my number and choosing to hangout with me instead of his friends. I fell so hard idk why but I gave it my all as if we were going to be forever. Part of me is super embarrassed because he would cheat on me and I would literally cry and take him back every single time because I just wanted to be with him. I hoped that maybe if he cheated on me enough one day he’ll get bored and realize I’m the one for him. I guess I could say I enjoyed watching him absolutely torment everybody around him (cuz he just loved pushing buttons like that) and then having him desire me and wanna kiss me and have sex. I felt like a special girl for a little bit. I remember being super shy with him too like I couldn’t even open my mouth cuz I didn’t know what to say. So he basically talked the whole time and I would just turn red and blush so much. I quickly realized though that I was just another girl to him. Up until a few years ago when we reconnected for the 100000th time, he had 2 other girlfriends besides me and he told me he missed how much I loved him and no girl ever cared about him like I did and I didn’t deserve how he treated me and I was so excited because I thought he came to his senses and wanted to be with me. Fast forward January of this year, I found out he does the same thing to at least 2 other girls. It didn’t take me very long to realize he still had eyes for any other pretty girl that walked by but for some reason I thought I was still at least that girl that took care of him. No apparently not. I wasn’t actually ever special at all. I just basically convinced myself I was and believed everything he said. That’s another difficult part about this; just because he wasn’t my boyfriend, doesn’t mean he was a bad person. Therefore I’m being extremely selfish and I know it. But seeing all the exes and the posts about him and how close he was to them literally fuels a fire in my heart that I could never explain to anyone. Seeing them have access to him the way I did makes me feel like I’ve had something ripped away from me. The only way I could try to compare it is like having a child and the child likes his step mom more and doesn’t give a fuck about you and the fact that you literally gave birth to him. That’s not even a fair comparison because a child is way more significant than a boyfriend or girlfriend but I was so infatuated with the idea of being in love with him I can’t explain another way. I feel like he was MINE and I just wasn’t able to keep him to myself. So a part of my depression about this is because I’ll never get to see where his life goes, I’ll never get to see if he eventually reaches out to me again. I’ll never get an apology. At the same time I don’t ever have to see him get married and have kids with someone else. Towards the end of us talking I just felt defeated like this is never going to work. The drugs took over. But no matter how I felt, when I saw his name; my body just does something different. My heart beats fast, my stomach drops, it’s not just a name or a person. It’s the name of someone I held on a pedestal. Nobody will ever understand the love I had for him