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omegaremix · 15 days ago

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The Cool & SRS Music Sharing Collective.

WUSB always had a history of dee-jays finding new music off each other. This was and always will be no issue. Thanks to Alice of Nightmare Aquarium, I’d never know who Ariel Pink or William Onyeabor were, and quadruple that for Black Marble, an act that’s become one of my best discoveries of the decade. Others had always asked me for playlists and “that one song I played fifteen minutes before the end of my show”. Our lives are a little more tolerable thanks to our station.

Shaerie, our dee-jay and resident astrologist, decided to create a secret group to post finds for only us to listen to. The Cool & SRS Music Sharing Collective was established in August 2016. She bestowed our dee-jay Conor (Headless Elvis) the title of admin- and the two started letting their closest friends and station volunteers in. “If there’s shitty music in this group, I will delete the fuck out of it”, she declared. Their first order of business? PWR BTTM’s “New Hampshire”. That was back when everyone and their cat loved them, until they were outed as sexual predators and then became shitty. We’ve yet to delete the fuck out of them, hmmm?

A month later, I was in. The SRS (“serious”) collective took off and we posted on a near-endless basis that almost everyone at one point had some catching up to do. Shaerie and Conor shared many a Bandcamp and d.i.y. find. They provided our daily allowance of acts in Downtown Boys, Ty Segall, Slowthai, Slothrust, Kal Marks, wosX, Car Seat Headrest, Saint Pepsi, Really Big Pinecone, and more. Cornflower posted some Argentinian musicks; and many others pitched the obvious, the classics, and some obscure finds in Brian Eno, Neu, Velvet Underground, The Fall, Richard Hell, Bush Tetras, Suicide, old-school hip-hop, alternative, shoegaze, and other nutritious pieces of good music. Other posts of theirs in Future Islands, Rolling Blackouts C.F., Speedy Ortiz, Idles, Snail Mail, Algiers, and Fidlar were ones my show Omega WUSB already played beforehand. They had our phases of Mac DeMarco and Frankie Cosmos worship. Did you know she was Phoebe Cates’ daughter? Shocked the shit out of me.

Some things dropped off on SRS became essential not only for Omega WUSB but for me personally. Conor’s why I’ve played Cende, Marijuana Deathsquads, Machine Girl, and Ghost Spell, and why I’m now a huge fan of Water From Your Eyes / Rachel Brown. He’s also the one responsible for me discovering Post Trash which helped influenced my show’s format and made me find the beauty of d.i.y. music. You can thank our friend Toasty for Palm’s “Dog Milk” that became part of a personal soundtrack to a wildly surreal summer.

Sharing is caring collecting, so I spread the wealth, too. I posted anything you could think of in hopes of resonating with our own. Most of the time it hit. Other times I struck out. Who was the only one who came though if others didn’t half the time? Spooky Christmas, the other (female) dee-jay who cares about sample culture as much as I do. Hooded Fang and Javelin were two which people jumped on board. Conor saw my post for Unstoppable Death Machines and he was floored: the billboard shown on Know Tomorrow was a real one very familiar for those driving west on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, and he was a fan of theirs.

We didn’t just post music, we posted current events, too. Our staff were (and still are) very into the meat of the city scene. They were sad to see Shea Stadium close down for good. That’s the venue, not the former home of the New York Mets but that’s been gone. Citi Field should also close down, too. (Go Yankees!) As Shaerie left, Conor took over and gave SRS an important edge. Leave it up to him to post pieces from the Washington City Paper, where Priest’s Katie Alice Grier questioned how safe safe-spaces really were; or from the Creative Independent about Lightning Bolt’s Brian Chippendale living in, owning, and being evicted from d.i.y. venues. See where our mindset is?

Even there were a few moments that I found my fellow staffers’ actions (besides posting PWR BTTM) questionable and grounds for expulsion from the SRS and the station. Toto’s “Africa” but with vocals one step out of key and off-beat. Marcus Mixx’ “My Oui Oui (New York)” for fuck’s sake. Smashmouth’s “Allstar” but every word is “somebody”. Yeah, somebody should’ve deserved a caning for that one. Mac Sabbath? Really? Thank Based God we didn’t post Okilly Dokilly, either.

But, they redeemed themselves when they really hit a few out of the park. Conor’s bandmate Jasko found Black Merda’s self-titled album. I thought I was the only one who knew of them. Cornflower found The Avalanches’ “Since I Met You”, which solved a mystery of what that song was I recorded on cassette 15 years ago. Conor once again wowed me when he posted Pigs’ You Ruin Everything (Unsane-related), because again, I had that all to myself. Kleenex’ “Nice”, Elite Gymnastics, Thee Oh Sees, and Death’s “Politicians In My Eyes” were other finds from our staffers which Omega WUSB played beforehand.

If not for Shaerie and Conor, I wouldn’t have a read on where some of the best dee-jays and selectors stood and what we’re all about. Some of what they posted for all to see was what I essentially wanted. What I wanted, like everyone else, was a connection with ourselves and the music. And I got it all in spades and diamonds. Thanks to everyone involved, I wouldn’t have summer memories, a newfound appreciation for the local / city scene, or the feelings I get for hearing specific sounds, vibes, ideas, and projections from certain artists. These are feelings I want and what they come with is a vision that makes me see and imagine things others don’t. As an aside, it was great to see what we’d come up with and how excited we were when we got it. It was a joker’s-wild goin’ on and we didn’t know what the fuck would happen.

For anyone keeping score, here’s what we took with us and what we gave back. Now it’s yours. It’s been a ride. SRS took off and ran well for a year-and-a-half. It slowed to a halt when everyone moved on and activity dwindled down. With six months of no activity at last year’s end (and a couple of autopsy posts after the fact just to see if anyone still cared), I finally gave SRS a proper eulogy. It’s sad that it came to an end. Hopefully, it will come back as a hologram one day.

SRS finds later played on Omega WUSB:

Girl Band “Why They Hide Their Bodies Under My Garage”

Cende

Big Ups

Pill

Crumb “So Tired”

Hookworms Microshift

Corridor “Le Grand Ecart”

Girlpool “123”

Yumi Bitsu “Truth”

DJ Muggs & MF Doom “Assassination Day”

Slothrust “Sex And Candy”

Blood Cultures

Bodega

Strahinja Arbutina “You Don’t Need This in Your Life”

Chastity Belt

Machine Girl “Ginger Claps”

Marijuana Deathsquads

Eyedress

Bodega

Sega Bodega

Soko “Sweet Sound Of Ignorance”

Black Moth Super Rainbow

Ghost Spell s/t

Melody’s Echo Chamber

Sweet Valley “Sentimental Trash”

Water From Your Eyes / Rachel Brown

Palm

Antwon “Helicopter”

Secret Circle “Tube Socks”

Coca Leaf

Wolf Eyes No Hate

Bad Zu Kllkllkll

Health “L.A. Looks”

Water From Your Eyes We’re Set Up

Women Lawncare

VIP Skylark “Y2K Dynasty / Clipped”

Other SRS finds:

Kleenex “Nice”

Elite Gymnastics

Shackleton “Blood On My Hands” (Ricardo Villalobos ‘Apocalypso Now’ RMX)

Thee Oh Sees

Young Marble Giants

Mannequin Pussy

Parquet Courts

Craft Spells “Nausea”

Yes Yes A Thousand Times Yes

Black Dice “Smiling Off”

Death “Politicians In My Eyes”

Pigs You Ruin Everything

Elvis Depressedly

Warpaint

Chelsea Wolfe

Nnamdi Ogbonnaya

Dear Nora

clipping.

Helena Hauff

Future Islands

Tameyawt

Rolling Blackouts C.F.

Holy Fuck

Eric Copeland

Bush Tetras “Too Many Creeps”

Body, The

Lightning Bolt

Speedy Ortiz

Demdike Stare

Suuns

Idles

Swans

Khost

Snail Mail

Algiers

Nine Of Swords

Screaming Females

Dreamcrusher

Kate Tempest

Single Mothers

Fidlar

Meyhem Lauren & DJ Muggs “Hashashin” (f. Conway)

Nine Of Swords

Gymnastics Sneaks

Computer Graphics Lo-Fi

SRS finds Omega WUSB posted:

Tony Williams Lifetime “Right On”

TRNSGNDR/VHSCondominium

Shana Falana “There’s A Way”

Girl Pusher “Best Ecver”

New Dreams Ltd.Initiation Tape: Isle Of Avalon Edition

Tropic Of Cancer “I Woke Up And The Storm Was Over”

Hooded Fang “Ode To Subterrania”

Les Rallizes Denudes “The Night Collectors”

Alice Glass “Without Love”

Ciarra Black “Transition None”

Preoccupations “Disarray”

Holydrug Couple, The “Follow Your Way”

Javelin “Lindsay Brohan”

DIIV “Wait”

Airport / Claire Maisto “Alone”

Raveonettes, The “Bang”

Prayers “Shaking Hand With Razor Blades”

Iceage “Under The Sun”

Bug, The & Miss Red “Mi Lost”

Jah Wobble & Holger Czukay & The Edge “Hold On To Your Dreams”

Girlpool “Before The World Was Big”

Nature “Horse Jumper Of Love” (demo)

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard “Mr. Beat”

Boards Of Canada “Nothing Is Real”

Unstoppable Death MachinesKnow Tomorrow

Sun Ra

Black Marble “Collene”

Steve Khan “The Blue Man”

Free Love

M.I.A. “Born Free”

KVB, The “Never Enough”

General Lee & The Space Army Band “We Did It Baby Pt. I & II”

Taiwan Housing Project “Veblen Death Mask”

Harry Pussy “Showroom Dummies”

Cold Cave “Glory”

Isaurian “Hologram” (Jesu RMX)

Death “Keep On Knockin’”

Skywave “Wear This Dress”

Stella Donnelly “Boys Will Be Boys”

LCD Soundsystem “Yr City’s A Sucker”

Throbbing Gristle “Persuasion / Discipline”

DOM “Bochicha”

Cold Cave / Black Rain / Breyer Genesis P. Orridge “Comprehension”

Body-San “Shining The Money Ball”

Ducktails “Don’t Want To Let You Know”

Prurient “Christ Amongst The Broken Glass”

Etant Donnes “Brutal Piss Rods”

Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Fright Night (Nevermore)”

Bombshells, The (s/t)

Dame Charm School

#omega #music #playlists #mixtapes #wow #whoa #damn #indie #post-punk #d.i.y.#synthpop #industrial #garage #hipster #city

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davidtennantgenderenvy · 1 year ago

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And Now A List of Actual (read: chaotic, slightly concerning, batshit insane, overall very silly) Lyrics By Queen, One Of The Greatest Bands Of All Time

“Dog with disEEEASE you’re the king of the sLEEEEZE”

“Was the fin on your back part of the deal… s h a r k”

“With my hand on your grease gun… oooooh it’s like a disease son”

“CARS DON’T TALK BACK THEY’RE JUST FOUR WHEELED FRIENDS NOW”

“You call me sweet lIkE i'M sOmE kInD oF cHEEEESE”

“tAkE yOuR lItTlE bRoThEr sWiMmInG wItH a BrIcK”

“I learned my passion in the good old fashioned school of lover booooys :D”

“I’m just getting used to my new exposure… comeintomyenCLOsuuuuure”

“LEFT ALONE WITH BIG FAT FANNY SHE WAS SUCH A NAUGHTY NANNY”

“H e y m a n JAWS WAS NEVER MY SCENE AND I DON’T LIKE STAR WARS”

“I’LL CRUELLA DE VIL YOU”

“Don’t try suicide, you’re just gonna hate it! :D”

“Baby when you do it all you do is get on my t i t s”

“gimme your bodayyyyy (repeat ad nauseum)”

“People get shot by people. People with guns.”

“bReAsTfEeDiNg mYsElF”

“I DOOOOOON’T WAAAANT MY FREEEEEDOOOOOOM THERE’S NO REEEEASON FOR LIIIIIIIVIIIIIIING with a broken heeeeart… :(“

“Just gimme gimme gimme gimme F R I E D C H I C K E N”

“Don’t drink and drive my car! Don’t get breathalized!” (in a song that has nothing whatsoever to do with drinking and driving)

“We served a purpose… like a bloody circus???”

“I think I’m a banana tree”

“HOOP DIDDY DIDDY HOOP DIDDY DOO”

“i’Ve bEeN tO tHe hItMaN sChOoL! :D”

“When you pee all over my chippendale suite”

I refuse to provide context for any of these reblog with your favorite

#queen band #classic rock #Freddie mercury #Brian may #roger taylor #john deacon #The thing a lot of people don’t get about queen #Is that they could get away with some absolutely RIDICULOUS lyrics #Because they had an insane vocalist who could make literally anything sound good #Which lead to some of the FUNNIEST SHIT finding its way into their discography

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anilaseo · 3 years ago

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ecto-american · 4 years ago

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The Bachelor

Phic Phight oneshot for @skellagirl: To help raise money for education, Vlad lets a date with himself be auctioned off. To his surprise, Harriet was quite a persistent bidder, and to his bigger surprise...he actually had a good time. Vlad/Harriet

On FFN and AO3

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"I don't need help getting a date, Jack," Vlad told him shortly. Why did he even come over to FentonWorks? He couldn't even remember why. At least he had some coffee to sip on. If Jack was actually good for anything, it was brewing good coffee.

"Oh come on, V-man! It's not like that! It's to raise money for education!" Jack tried to persuade as he was pouring himself his own cup. Vlad made a small face at the idea. "There's going to be lots of bachelors up there with ya, it won't be just you!"

"I don't think so." He had much better things to do than be paraded around.

"Please Vlad?" Jack nearly begged.

"You know, Vlad, you'd be quite the crowd-drawer," Maddie finally spoke up. Vlad glanced over at her. She was focused on some ectoplasmic samples that were on the counter, dangerously close to some chicken that was marinating for dinner. Mental note; do NOT stay for dinner tonight. "You're likely Amity Park's most sought after bachelor." She looked over her shoulder at him, and with a clearly fake smile, she added, "It'd be really good for you to have a nice woman who's interested in you."

Vlad frowned at her emphasis. He took another drink. It would look good if he showed up for appearances, got it over with and wowed some whatever woman into helping his media image. Election season was coming up, and he was up against the ex-mayor. Doing something for the children would definitely boost him.

"...It is for charity," he said slowly. "And after all, a man like me could fetch for a nice price."

"Of course!" Jack boomed excitedly. "You were voted sexiest billionaire by Cosmopolitan this year!" Oh god, why the hell did Jack know that? And say that? "Trust me, the crowd'll got mad for you!"

Vlad forced a smile.

"I cannot wait."

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He really could have waited. Friday night had come, and he found himself very reluctantly walking around the Casper High gym, looking at all the silent auction items up on display on cheap collapsable tables. Vlad mentally thanked himself for making sure Daniel would be too busy all night with Skulker to even have the time to come around to laugh at him.

Ugh, nothing really that good was around up for auction in here. Except for him, obviously. He could tell who was a bachelor for auction just by seeing who else was way overdressed to be standing around in a public high school on a Friday night, and Vlad already knew that he was the best option. He spied another one of these men as the individual picked his nose and wiped it on one of the tables. Vlad made a grossed out face. Easily, the best option.

He glanced around more, boredly trying to waste another twenty minutes before he had to go to the auditorium for the bachelor auctioning. This was the worst. Why did he agree to this? His eyes scanned for any familiar face.

"Harriet!" Vlad instantly recognized the journalist. She turned to face him, giving a small smile and wave when she realized who it was. He took a few steps over towards her. "What are you doing here?"

"My niece goes to Casper High," she replied. "So I decided to come around." She nodded her head at the silent auction she was seemingly considering. It was a high end camera bundle, including not just a high end camera but extra lenses, batteries, the case, the whole works honestly, donated by a local electronics store. "Check it out. Maybe even buy a date so that my mother stops asking me about when I'm getting married," she lightly joked. Vlad chuckled.

"You should consider just buying me," Vlad half-joked back. "I'm by far your best option." Harriet gave a hum as she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" she inquired. Vlad motioned to himself as if it was obvious, flashing a smile.

"Of course. Self made billionaire, tech industry pioneer, scientist, mayor of this fine city, and that's just the beginning," he bragged. She lightly shook her head with a smirk.

"Part time Dairy King worker that somehow caught the ice cream machine on fire, Skunk Punks lead singer whose voice cracked every time he sung anything and guitarist who couldn't play guitar," she listed off. Vlad rolled his eyes with a frown. "Idiot who kept sticking his head into the lab equipment machines and lost his eyebrows for six months. Skater wanna-be that broke both of his ankles trying to do tricks on the campus fountain." Vlad scowled.

"You can stop now," he complained. Harriet laughed.

"Oh, I almost need to buy you purely so that I can remind you that you're not all that and a bag of chips," she replied. "And I can finally corner you into an actual interview. You keep pushing me off." She faked a pout. "It's almost like you don't wanna be around me."

"Don't you have to be nosy somewhere else?" he asked.

"Hmm, not tonight." She glanced up at the clock on the wall. "I should go find a seat for the auction. You should probably get up on stage, make yourself look all nice and presentable."

Vlad rolled his eyes, waving her off.

"I need to use the restroom first," he replied. "You head on out."

"See up on the stage. Too bad this isn't Chippendales," she joked. Vlad felt his cheeks flush, and he glared at her. She walked off. Vlad glanced down at the camera bundle she had been eying. He glanced at the auction sheet, and he could tell by the handwriting that she had put in a bid that he knew somebody would eventually counter-offer. Vlad wrote his auctioning number down, and a bid he knew nobody would go over before he made his way to the auditorium.

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Finally, it was his turn. They put him last, which he completely understood. Always save the best for last. He nearly had dozed off in boredom in his seat while everybody else was auctioned off for barely a hundred dollars.

"We'll start the bidding, as always, at fifty dollars," the overly enthusiastic host said. Vlad mentally scoffed. He was definitely worth more than that. Ugh, this was the last time he did anything to help children. Fuck those little brats. "Fifty-five!"

A bunch of the auction fans shot up in the air. Vlad smiled in satisfaction.

"Oh wow! Okay, well how about sixty-five?" None of the hands went down. "Seventy-five." Two hands went down. "Eighty-five?" Three more hands reluctantly went down. "A hundred?" Most of the hands kept on standing. "Well!" the host chuckled, before directing his attention to Vlad. "You sure are a popular fella!"

No shit. He was a billionaire.

"Let's jump up a bit! One hundred fifty!" Finally, a good amount of the hands went down, leaving only a handful up. "One hundred seventy-five!" No hands down. "Two hundred!" A few reluctantly went down, leaving only four. "Okay, okay! How about-"

"Three hundred!" one of the women called out. The auctioneer looked surprised.

"Oh! Oh um. Okay! Does anybody wanna go higher than three hundred?" he asked.

"Three twenty-five!" Harriet's voice was instantly recognized by Vlad, and he stared in surprise.

"Three-fifty!" the first woman rebutted. Vlad studied her, only to quickly notice that this was a woman he really hadn't ever met before.

"Three seventy five!" Harriet wasted no time putting in her counter offer.

"Four hundred!"

"Four twenty five!"

"Four fifty!"

Vlad watched Harriet as the reporter's jaw clenched. She was staring at the competition with a hard stare.

"Five hundred!" she finally spoke. The other woman studied her, before giving a defeated sigh.

"No counter offer," the unfamiliar lady finally spoke. The auctioneer grinned, pointing to Harriet.

"Well! Looks like our highest prize of the night goes to bidder number seventy-four!"

Harriet met Vlad's eye, and she smiled. He smiled back.

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"So," Vlad asked, giving a coy smile. "You sure were an insistent bidder." Harriet flushed.

"I did it for the schools," she argued. "My niece goes to Casper High, remember?"

"Oh, I mean, if you did it just to help the schools," Vlad lightly teased. "Then we don't have to go out on the date." Harriet scoffed.

"No way, dude. I spent five-hundred dollars on you, and I'm going to get my money's worth." She poked him in the chest. "Which also means that you're buying me dinner, and some nice wine." Vlad rolled his eyes.

"Alright, alright," he reluctantly agreed. "What time shall I pick you up?" Harriet smiled.

"Uh, depends. When are you free? Tomorrow around seven? Ah, who am I kidding." She smirked at him. "You're probably free whenever. What else do you got going on? Be honest."

Vlad flushed red, scowling.

"Okay, I do happen to be free tomorrow night, but normally I'm not!" he insisted. Harriet snorted. "So you need to make sure you check with me before you schedule something."

"You got nothing," she teased in a sing-song voice.

"Oh? And what do you do?" Vlad challenged. She hummed.

"Well, typically on Mondays I visit my grandmother, Wednesday is girls' night with my friends, Thursdays I have my yoga class, and on the weekends I normally get friends with friends or co-workers, go hike, short trip. Whatever I feel like," she replied without missing a beat. Vlad hated Jack for convincing him to do this stupid auction. "And of course, several days a week I go to the gym."

"I go to the gym too," Vlad insisted. Harriet raised an eyebrow at him. "I do! I'm in excellent shape."

"Are you going to the gym, or do you use a home gym in your mansion?" she pressed. Vlad didn't reply. "Thought so. Guess we're on tomorrow at seven?"

"...Tomorrow at seven."

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Vlad had opted to simply drive himself in one of his flashy, yet more modest cars. It was honestly kind of hard to go to many places in a limo anyway, and not very intimate when there was an unintentional third party hanging out in the car. Harriet had texted him her address earlier, and he showed up right on time, pulling his car up to the curb of her house. A gentleman was never late, after all.

He parked, not bothering to lock his doors as he stepped up to her house. It was a typical small home in a decent little neighborhood. Not one that Vlad could ever imagine himself living in however, but it was cute. He stood at her front door. He exhaled harshly, mentally preparing himself.

He'd be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't nervous. It was one thing to date a new woman he had just met, but this was Harriet. She knew him when he was still a broke college student that worked part time at Dairy King and was in that terrible punk band with Jack.

Vlad rang her doorbell. He absentmindedly wondered if he'd have to wait on her for long, but thankfully, Harriet answered the door fairly quickly.

"Hey! Look at you!" she greeted cheerfully. Vlad knew he flushed a bit at the compliment, which made him...feel weird. That never happened before. "You really cleaned up for me." Okay now he had to roll his eyes a little. Vlad was in a nicer suit compared to normal, with a darker shirt collar and cufflinks, more polished shoes and the like.

"Ah, I'm nothing compared to how lovely you look this evening," he returned the compliment, and he could see Harriet's cheeks brighten a bit under her porch's poor lighting. They had texted each other about their plans, and so she had dressed appropriately for the five star restaurant; a black dress with dark green detailing that came to her knees, matching shoes and her hair done up. She had a formal black jacket over her arm, as well as a clutch handbag. "Are you ready?"

"Uh, one second!" Harriet turned to her door, checking to ensure it was locked. Once she did so, she turned, slipping her arm into his. "Now I am."

"Well, off we go," he smiled. "I think you'll like where we're going. It has the most divine sushi in Amity Park."

"I can't wait," Harriet replied. "I love sushi. Remember that campus sushi bar?"

"Absolutely," he replied. He walked her down the porch to his car. "Maddie worked there. She used to sneak us huge takeout boxes of leftovers."

"Oh I nearly forgot about that," Harriet laughed. "I'd help her smuggle out the boxes in my backpack."

"And you got soy sauce all over your bag four times," he chuckled. Harriet grumbled.

"Yeah, I had to re-print my final paper," she complained. "And eventually get a new bag that didn't smell like sushi all the time."

Vlad opened the car door for her. She slipped her arm out, giving him a thanks as she slipped inside.

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Naturally, he had made a reservation for the best seat in the house; a table in a more private area of the place, indoors but near a large window that had a good view of the beautiful landscaping in their limited yard-area.

After giving his car to the valet and getting seated, Vlad glanced at the menu, immediately spying his favorite, rock shrimp tempura. However he looked around to see what else was available. Hmm, he was somewhat in the mood for BBQ Unagi…

"What do you normally get?" Harriet questioned as she looked over her options.

"...Know what? Since this is your first time, maybe we should just get morimoto omakase," Vlad suggested. He gently pushed her menu down so that he could look at it, and he pointed to the option. Harriet scanned the description. Essentially a dish with a little bit of everything.

"Ooo, that sounds good," Harriet mused.

"It's delicious, and it pairs well with white wine," Vlad told her. She smiled.

"Let's get that then," she agreed.

When the waiter came by, they ordered just that. Quickly, the waiter had come back to bring them the bottle of white wine, pouring them their first glass for them before leaving the bottle at Vlad's request. They each took a sip.

"Mmm, this is pretty good," Harriet spoke first. "I typically just get a red wine."

"I do too," Vlad replied. "But white wine goes well with fish." Harriet gave a surprised hum before taking another drink. "You probably know too much about me though. Tell me about your work. Amity News." She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm one of the main news anchors," she replied.

"Oh trust me, I know. I get to watch you tell me the news every day, it's a highlight of the day," Vlad complimented. Harriet rolled her eyes with a flush.

"Alright, cheesehead," she teased. "But yeah, I really love it. When I was younger I really enjoyed investigative journalism, since it let me go all over, but I'm really liking being in one place. Though I occasionally go out on the scene, but it's kinda dangerous to cover ghost fights here. And what we have Lance for."

Vlad snorted. He knew the news man too well. He was, as the kids called it, a meme at this point. He knew Daniel and his friends constantly posted these memes of Lance Thunder on social media, making fun of his on the scene appearances.

"What do you make of all these ghosts?" Vlad questioned. Harriet shrugged.

"Well, they certainly exist. Honestly thought Jack was stupid to try and build that one ghost portal in college. Even though. Ugh, Jack is such a buffoon sometimes," Harriet grumbled. "I still haven't forgiven him for costing me my job in Milwaukee, especially since I used him as a reliable source. Ugh!" She stopped herself to finish off her glass of wine. She exhaled deeply as she put the glass down, half-smiling apologetically. "Sorry. I know he's your friend."

"No, no no," Vlad replied eagerly. "I understand. After all, it was my home he destroyed, remember?" Harriet nodded.

"He had to have done thousands in damage," she said sympathetically. "Especially to your library. Oh, and it was a beautiful library too."

"It was one of my favorite rooms in that house," Vlad sighed. "I rebuilt the room, but it just wasn't ever quite the same. My new library, however, it's simply gorgeous."

"Oh?" Harriet questioned. Vlad took it as a sign to continue.

"It's a two story library, for once, like a true two story library. The lighting is fantastic, but also on a dimmer so the mood can be truly set," he began to describe. "I managed to slowly rebuild my collection of the classics, and there's a wood burning fireplace. Oh and of course, my favorite, the small reading nook with the most comfortable chair you will ever sit in next to a huge window. It's simply perfect."

"Oh, I would probably sit in that nook and read forever," Harriet sighed dreamily. Vlad smiled, picking up the bottle of wine with a raised eyebrow. Harriet picked her glass up, holding it for him to pour her some more. He did so, before refilling his own glass. She took another long sip of her drink.

"I would more often, but unfortunately, it's also the cat's favorite spot, and I can never bring myself to move her," he confessed. Harriet beamed.

"Vlad! You never told me you had a cat!" she exclaimed. "What's his name?" Vlad felt a cold sweat hit him. Wait.

"Maggie," he lied. "When I adopted her, that was what they called her, and it didn't feel right to change it." Harriet nodded understandingly. She set her glass of wine down to dig through her clutch, and she pulled her phone out.

"I have the most handsome little guy, his name's Taggy. Short for Maytag," she said. She showed Vlad her phone, exposing a picture of a grey and white cat stretched out in a cat hammock near a window. But that name...

"...Maytag? As in the company?"

Harriet flushed a bit.

"When I moved into my first apartment, his previous owners had left him, and so my old roommate and I began calling him Maytag after the refrigerator, since he came with the apartment, and we put food in him," she explained. "Then my roommate got married, and her husband's cats didn't get along with Taggy, so I just kept him, and he's moved six times with me since then." Vlad cracked a smile.

"Mad-ggie's name has kind of devolved into me just calling her Princess," he admitted. "I've bought so many luxury cat things for her and beds, the drinking fountain water bowl, wet food, the best vet in all of Illinois. Only the finest."

"I do the same for Taggy, much as I can afford. He's my special guy."

The waiter shyly interrupted them, bringing them each a huge plate of food. Harriet eyed hers hungrily, thanking him cheerfully.

"Oh, this does delicious," Harriet beamed. She took her chopsticks, and grabbed a bite. Vlad took another sip of wine before he did the same. "It tastes great too!"

"You think I'd steer you wrong?" Vlad lightly bragged.

"Who knows," Harriet shrugged. She gave a sly smirk. "You're the one who steered us all so wrong that you got the van stuck in a snowbank." Vlad glared at her, making her burst into snickers.

They ate in silence for a few moments, savoring their meal. Harriet took another long drink of her wine, and Vlad refilled it for her. She gave a smile.

"Thank you," she said. "Do you like your food?"

"Very much so, it's delicious," he replied. "How's yours?"

"Great, I never had such delicious food!" She ate another chopstick full of food. "I guess this is how five star dining is, huh? I made a good date investment. But next time I gotta take you to a diner."

"Oh?" Vlad raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I get the feeling that you eat too fancy," she explained. "Sometimes you just need the greasiest burger and saltiest fries that you wash down with cheap soda."

"Hmm, wouldn't you prefer I take you to a five star steakhouse?" he questioned.

"You can take me there on our third date," Harriet replied. Vlad raised his eyebrow again. "But for date too, I think you need a greasy burger."

"Third date?" he echoed. He took a drink of his wine, finishing it off.

"Yeah, I think you'll wanna take me out again," Harriet hummed. She reached for the wine to refill his glass for him.

"Thank you, dear. But really?"

"Absolutely, I'm a catch," she replied. "I've travelled the world, I'm very educated, financially stable, have my own house, am very pretty." She jokingly flipped her hair.

"Ah, I'd say you're more of a beauty than just very pretty," Vlad mused. Harriet smiled.

"Aww, thank you cheesehead," she replied. "But yes. So naturally, I think you're not going to be able to resist asking me to accompany you out again. I did you a favor by bidding on you, actually."

"We'll see how the night ends, and who's wanting a second date more," Vlad said. "I mean, yes you are quite a catch, but I think you're forgetting who was voted as sexiest billionaire by Cosmopolitan magazine." Harriet nearly choked on her wine from laughter.

"Oh my god, you read Cosmo?" she giggled. Vlad flushed red.

"N-no, I was told this," he insisted. "When I got voted as such." Harriet had to put her chopsticks down, covering her mouth as she tried to contain her laughter. Vlad slammed back the rest of his wine, refilling his own cup.

"Oh man, you really haven't changed all that much." She took a deep breath to get her laughter under control. "Same ol' cute Vlad." This peaked his interest.

"You thought I was cute?" he asked. Harriet flushed, picking her chopsticks back up to continue eating.

"Eh, kinda. In that nerdy sorta way," she confessed. "I tried getting your attention a few times, but you never seemed too interested. You were always really distracted by that portal project."

More like distracted by Maddie, as she was a huge reason why he was so interested in helping with the proto portal project. Remembering the woman of his dreams made him pause. He suddenly felt guilty that he was out on a date. And Maddie's college best friend of all people!

Of course, he had dated here and there. Maddie was, unfortunately, married, so he knew that rationally he had to somewhat try and move on. But nobody had ever truly clicked with him, or made him feel like she had. His mind was often distracted by her the entire time but...until now he had actually forgotten about Maddie.

"Ah yeah, I was...really focused on school," he half-lied, taking another bite of food.

"I could tell. Nerd," she jibbed. "Even now I can tell you're super busy with all your business stuff."

"Not as busy as you'd think, but also yes," Vlad corrected. "I have a lot of meetings to attend and business decisions to make, but I at least get a lot of help and feedback."

"That's true," Harriet said. "But I'm glad we're able to do something now. Even if we just never got around to it back then." She poked at one of her foods with her chopstick before taking the bite. "I mean, I've been kind of all over too. I don't think anything would have even worked out had we even tried something."

"Ah, yes. I remember Maddie mentioning that you were never in one place for more than two months for a long time," Vlad said.

"Yup!" she confirmed. "That's investigative journalism for ya. Takes you all over. But I really liked it. I'm glad I had that opportunity, and that I did it. Don't regret a bit of it."

"Business too," he agreed. "Especially when you're starting an empire. I don't think I was truly home for months at a time, I was going from place to place to oversee offices being built and products being made. Seeing how progress is being made on research. It was a busy first fifteen years or so. I don't think I was truly relaxing and enjoying what I'd made until the past six years or so."

"Yeah, I remember reading about your progress," she said. "Fascinating story. You had such amazing charisma to get all these companies to go with your plans." Vlad felt a bit of a nervous wave hit him, but he didn't show it, or really even have to reply. Harriet had already moved on. "Ugh, this was so good. I can't believe I was able to eat all of this."

Her plate was empty, and he had just taken his last bite.

"Would you like dessert?" he asked. She shook her head no.

"Nah, I'm good. I've eaten enough," she replied. Vlad just nodded, and he called their water over.

Instead of waiting to get a receipt book from the waiter, he simply handed him his credit card. Vlad never checked the bill when he went out to eat. The price tag never bothered him.

The waiter accepted it, soon coming back for Vlad to sign. Vlad quickly did, and for his trouble, he also handed the young man five hundred dollar bills as a tip. It made him nearly tear up and stutter as he thanked him, but quite honestly, it was more to show off to Harriet his generosity more than any genuine kindness, which, judging by her expression, absolutely worked.

Vlad gave him a half smile and waved him off, and the pair collected their things to leave, heading towards the front of the restaurant arm in arm.

"You know, the night's still young," Vlad mused. He opened the door for her, and Harriet slipped through.

"Thank you," she replied. "But oh? You don't have work?"

"Nothing that can't be rearranged," he replied. "Do you?" Harriet smiled.

"Nope, I have tomorrow off. So what are you thinking?" she asked. Vlad glanced at his watch. Hell, it was only ten-thirty.

"Have you ever been to the Amity Park Country Club?" he questioned. She nodded.

"Oh yeah. I've been there as a guest twice, for interviews," she explained. She glanced at her phone. "Doesn't it close soon though?" Vlad chuckled.

"On midnights on the weekends," he replied.

"Hmm, okay," Harriet agreed. "But we won't stay too long."

Vlad went up to the valet, informing him of his car make and model, and the young man nodded, jogging off to fetch it.

"My dear, I'm a high priority member. They'll stay open for me," he insisted. Harriet rolled her eyes.

"The workers wanna go home too, Vlad," she reminded him. "We should be respectful of their time and leave when it closes."

Vlad resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He was above having to follow those kinds of petty rules. When you had billions in the bank, you could easily just toss a few thousand out to make workers let you stay past the closing time with no issues. He had never heard a single complaint after he flashed a few thousand, a drop in the bucket for him. But what Harriet wanted, she would get. He supposed, anyway. After a few dates, she'd likely just begin agreeing with him and allow him to bend the rules for her.

After a few dates? Vlad thought on it. Yeah...after a few dates.

"Whatever you wish," he replied.

His car pulled up, and Vlad immediately opened the car door for her.

------------------------------------------------------------

"And it just kind turned into a semi-permanent offer until I got kinda homesick," Harriet finished her story off as she hit another ball with the golf club. Vlad hummed lightly as her ball went off towards somewhere in the dark. "But it was amazing. I'd love to return to China sometime. Kinda unfortunately, Amity Park doesn't really cover international news like that. It's very local only."

"Maybe you should just come with me next time I go," Vlad offered. He grabbed another golf ball from their large bucket of them, setting it on the tee before lining himself up. With an experienced swing, he hit the ball, and it flew off. "To China, I mean. I go there about twice a year or so for business. Sometimes more."

"Ugh, that'd be awesome," Harriet agreed. She leaned over to pick up her drink, a pink margarita, that was resting on the tables that were set up near the driving range. Her jacket and clutch were on the table too, her heels tucked under the table. Vlad had also folded his suit jacket neatly to rest next to hers, allowing himself to also unbutton and roll his sleeves up to his elbows, and the top two buttons of his shirt. He also had his own drink, a rum and coke, that sat near hers. "I can show you all the local spots from my time there."

"Hm, that would be very nice," Vlad mused. He hit another ball. He was somewhat glad that Harriet had talked him out of doing the full course. While he didn't care (and Harriet very much did) that it would have taken far past closing time to finish a game, it was much more relaxing to just do this. Especially with nobody else being around. "I typically do only business."

"Oh boo, that's boring," Harriet said. She already had another ball on her tee, and she wacked it again. The ball went soaring. "What's the point of all your money if you're not enjoying yourself and your life?"

Vlad didn't reply. He focused on another swing. The ball stayed close to the ground, quickly rolling on and on and on before he couldn't see where it went anymore.

"You were married before, weren't you?" Vlad questioned. Harriet snorted.

"Oh, we're already at the 'let's talk about our exes' part of the relationship?" she teased. Vlad chuckled, grabbing another ball. "Eh, for about seven years. Nothing bad happened, we just realized that we weren't really as compatible as we thought. I enjoyed traveling the world and being out, and he was a big homebody that hated planes and trains. Started to realize that I wanted a family one day, he preferred it to be just us. We didn't see each other that much cause I would go cover stories all over, and it just felt like we'd be happier. So we just kind of had a mutual divorce."

"I can understand that," Vlad replied. He lightly tapped his ball twice before swinging the club as hard as he could. The ball straight up disappeared in a blink of an eye.

"So what's your excuse for never having a girlfriend before?" Harriet questioned. Vlad was grateful about the lighting, as he knew that his face was dark red. "Too busy with work, too nerdy, what?"

"I've had a girlfriend before!" he argued. "I've dated women plenty before. Don't you remember Stacy?"

"Nope," Harriet replied. She hit another ball.

"Yes you do!" he insisted. He took a break from swinging, leaning on his club. "I was with her for four years! Out of all the women I dated she was the one the papers and articles talked about the most. Don't you remember all the rumors swirling around about why we hadn't gotten married already?"

"Hmm, must have been a figment of your imagination," Harriet replied, and he exhaled dramatically. He finally noticed the shit-eatting grin, and that she was just pulling his leg. She giggled, grabbing another golf ball. She tossed it up into the air, catching it before putting it on the tee. "Okay, okay. So why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?" Vlad questioned. He took a step towards their table, grabbing his drink. He needed it right about now.

"Marry Stacy," Harriet clarified.

"Eh, it just wasn't really meant to be," he dismissed simply. He took a long gulp of his drink, sighing softly when he finished.

"Oh?" Harriet pressed. He frowned. He should have known that she was going to be nosy about it. Typical journalist.

"...I could tell that we didn't really like each other all that much," he confessed. "We were just both lonely. We would go places together but never actually be together. We lived together but never saw each other outside of bedtime, though towards the end, she began to just sleep in a separate room since our schedules would be so different. We talked about getting married on and off, but...I don't know when it clicked for me that this just wasn't what I truly wanted. I wanted a wife and children that I spent time with and that I loved being with. So we just kind of broke up, and she moved out."

Harriet nodded understandingly.

"At least you realized it before children potentially got involved," she said. "I'm glad I divorced with no children. I'd hate to put them through something like that."

"Agreed," Vlad replied. He picked up another golf ball. Instead of bending over to put it on the ground, he lazily dropped it and hit the ball on the bounce. "How many would you want?"

"Hm? What? Kids?" Harriet questioned. Vlad gave a 'mhm' noise to confirm. "At least two. A boy and a girl. What about you?"

"As many as possible," he said. He got another ball. "I always wanted a big family."

"Hmm, well I'm not a clown car," Harriet replied. "Regardless of how often I'd let a clown like you in." Vlad rolled his eyes. "Besides, you have Jasmine and Danny right? Maddie and Jack's kids?"

"Yeah, they're my godchildren," Vlad confirmed. He reached over for another quick sip of his drink. "I bought Jasmine her car. When Daniel gets his license I'll be getting him one too. And of course, paying for college. I have a few other godchildren too, same deal. I've gotten them all a car and paid for college. Can't let them have any of that dreadful student loan debt."

"Aw, you're just a big ol' softie," Harriet teased. "I'm not a billionaire, so I can't really do the same, but I'm pitching in to help my sister get my niece a decent used car next year. By the time her little brother's getting a car, I'll likely be doing the same."

"You're looking for cars for her?" Vlad mused. "I can get her one." Harriet shook her head.

"No, that's not necessary," she replied. "It's a lot to ask."

"Nonsense, I have the money to spare," he persisted. "A decent used car. Children don't need brand new ones, they're still learning." Harriet bit her lower lip as she pondered the offer.

"We'll discuss it another time with my sister," she said. Vlad nodded in agreement. He grabbed a ball. Their bucket was nearly empty now.

"I understand," he replied. Harriet picked up one of the last balls. She tossed it up in the air and swung her bat. She missed, but she quickly was able to redeem herself by hitting it on the third bounce. "I just hate to see children go without. That's why I was auctioned off, afterall. For the sake of the kids." Harriet gave a skeptical hum, getting another ball. "...Well, you know, if we're going to go out again, I need to make a good first impression on your family."

"That's better," Harriet replied. "If we're going to hang out more like this, we need to be open and honest with each other."

Vlad picked up the last ball. He stared at it for a moment, and he put it on Harriet's tee for her. She shot him a thankful smile, and she wacked the ball into the night.

"There'll be more, right?" Vlad asked.

"Well, if you're free next Friday, we can go see a show," Harriet suggested. She went back to the table, slipping into her heels again. She downed the last bit of her drink. "Local theater's opening weekend is soon."

Next weekend was terrible. Vlad had so much to do that following week that he'd have to spend all weekend preparing for. Many meetings, lots of documents to read and write and revise. Moving anything around would be an absolute headache.

But it could be moved around.

"Sounds lovely," he agreed. He finished off his drink before rolling his sleeves down again. He slipped his jacket back on. "Ready to head home?"

"We have to take the cups and clubs back up to the office," she said, nodding at the country club. Vlad made a face, and he began to protest, but a Look from Harriet made him shut up.

"Alright, alright," he sighed. Harriet grabbed their cups, and he took their clubs.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Next Friday, right?" Harriet asked as they took the final step up onto her porch.

"Yes, I'll call you tomorrow to organize a proper time," Vlad told her. He paused as he suddenly remembered. "One second."

He did a half-jog back to his car, opening the backseat and pulling out a basket. As he returned to the door, it became clear as to what it was. It was the camera bundle she had been bid on at the auction, and she stared at it.

"Here, I had noticed you bid on it. I wanted to make sure you got it," he explained, handing it out to her.

"You bought that?" she questioned.

"Yes, I knew that you'd be outbid. So I just made sure that you could get it," he replied. Harriet smiled warmly, accepting it.

"Thank you," she said. She set it on one of the porch chairs for now. "This was honestly such a great night. Gotta admit, I was kinda skeptical, but you really impressed me."

"Of course, didn't you say yourself that you made a good investment," he joked. Harriet snickered.

"Yeah, but I think even I surprised myself," she said. "I thought I was just going to buy a nice, fancy one dinner, but I'm pretty sure I actually did buy somebody that I'm going to be introducing to my mom." She gestured to her front door. "Did you wanna come inside for a bit? Pretty sure you're too tired to make the long drive home."

"I don't live too far," Vlad replied. "It's about twenty minutes, I can easily get home."

"Oh?" Harriet lightly pressed. "You sure you're not too tired though? Don't need a coffee or anything? Or want to take a nap before you go?"

It finally clicked.

"Ah, you know, I think I would like to rest a bit before I go," he agreed. Harriet smiled, turning to unlock her door. Vlad grabbed the camera basket for her, and they went inside.

#phic phight 2021 #harriet chin #vlad masters #the bachelor #my phics #phics

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 5 years ago

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You wrote the original novel with the late Terry Pratchett. What did you love about Terry as a writer?

He was the most wonderful writer. He was a craftsman who regarded art in the same way that a really good medieval craftsman regarded his craft. If you build it right, it will be beautiful. You don’t set out saying: “I’m an artiste and I’m going to make something beautiful.” You set out saying: “If I craft it right, it’s going to be beautiful.” It’s like a 12th century cathedral or a piece of Chippendale furniture. It will inspire awe and beauty because it’s so well built.

Why is Michael Sheen so well suited to the role of Aziraphale?

He is a massive fan of the book. He read it as a 20-something at drama school and loved it. When this production was being discussed, he was the first person I went to. He said: “Ah, yes, you want me to play Crowley.” “No,” I replied, “I want you to play Aziraphale.” Crowley is the sexy dude in the sunglasses, but Aziraphale is the heart of this story. He is also the one that changes. That’s very important to the story - who changes? The Crowley at the end is the same as the Crowley at the beginning. But the Aziraphale at the end is not quite the same as the one we went in with. He’s grown and changed. I needed someone who could show that progress.

Why does David fit the role of Crowley so well?

In my head, David was the dream casting for Crowley, but I felt sure it wouldn’t happen. That’s the best way to avoid disappointment. So when David said he’d love to do it, I was just delighted. He brings an insouciance and a slouchiness which I love. He’s not playing it as Doctor Who or any other previous characters. His Crowley is so much loucher than that. He’s a slightly cynical, wonderful demon.

How did other castings happen?

We got a lot of people because they were big fans of the book. For instance, Jon Hamm read it and loved it, although he confided in me that he thought it was unfilmable! I wrote him an email saying: “I’ve written the new part of Gabriel. He is the leader of the angels. I need someone to play the coolest, smoothest, best-looking angel. Will you do it?” I quickly got reply saying: “Oh my God, I thought it was unfilmable, but I love these scenes!”

What did Douglas McKinnon give to the show?

What he brought to the production was even more than we were expecting. He and his director of photography have made something stunning. But the most amazing thing is Douglas’s eye for detail and just how unexpectedly beautiful he has made this world. It absolutely gives me a kick to see it brought to life. It’s magical.

So Douglas has endowed Good Omens with an amazing look?

Definitely. This world has its own visual language. It’s gorgeous and glorious. I showed an early version to Jeff Bezos, the head of Amazon. His reaction was: “It doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before.” What a lovely thing to say.

For many years Good Omens was going to be a movie. Why does it work better as a TV series than a feature film?

Because when you have got six hours, you throw away less of the original book. You can even add stuff. When I broke down episode three, I realised there was not much of Aziraphale and Crowley in it. So I wrote a whole new 20-minute, mini-movie of Aziraphale and Crowley through the ages - in Roman times, with medieval knights, during the Second World War. How much fun was that! I got to indulge my inner fantasy. I was writing my own fan fiction!

Everyone is really committed to this production, aren’t they?

Yes. It’s a hugely loved book. A lot of the cast are huge fans of the book, which means that they’re very passionate about the project. For instance, Josie Lawrence, who is the only original cast member from the radio version of Good Omens, was desperate to reprise her role as Agnes Nutter, but at first it was impossible. She was opening that week in Mother Courage. But we really wanted her, so her director very kindly stood in for Josie at the technical rehearsal for Mother Courage - which never happens - so Josie could do Good Omens. People are willing to go the extra mile to be in this, which is wonderful.

Why is the book of Good Omens so popular?

People love the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. When I was writing the script, I was determined never to lose sight of the fact that on some weird level it’s a love story between Aziraphale and Crowley. People might grab the wrong end of the stick, but it’s a relationship that develops over 6,000 years. It’s a rather strange and glorious friendship between two incredibly different characters.

While Aziraphale means well, he’s wrong an enormous amount of the time. Meanwhile, Crowley is a demon who sees the worst in human nature and yet is right a lot of the time. There is a line from the book, where Aziraphale says: “Imagine how terrible it would have been if we were at all competent!” They are gloriously incompetent, and the fact that they’re more human than they care to admit drives the plot and is one of the things that people love about Good Omens.

What do you hope that viewers will take away from Good Omens?

I hope people will fall in love with the characters. I want to make something that bears rewatching and gives you something more every time you rewatch it. I know moments in Good Omens pay off with repeated viewing. When you rewatch it, you think: “Oh my God, that’s why they set that up.” Mostly, I want audiences to walk away in love with Michael and David and want to spend time with these characters. The best thing about good TV is that you’re spending time with characters who become part of your family. I hope the characters in Good Omens will become part of your family.

#good omens #neil gaiman #interview #aziraphale #crowley #bts

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ecoamerica · 21 days ago

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Apply or nominate: https://ecoamerica.org/american-climate-leadership-awards-2025/

Calling all organizations, individuals, and small businesses successfully engaging Americans on climate! Showcase your creativity and climate solutions by applying for @ecoamerica’s 2025 American Climate Leadership Awards. You can win $1K - $50K by submitting your efforts for consideration by a stellar line-up of judges and individuals leading on climate. It’s quick and easy to submit your application or nominate inspirational climate leaders. Apply or nominate today!

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omegaplus · 5 years ago

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# 3,007

The Cool & SRS Music Sharing Collective.

SRS finds later played on Omega WUSB:

Girl Band “Why They Hide Their Bodies Under My Garage”

Cende

Big Ups

Pill

Crumb “So Tired”

Hookworms Microshift

Corridor “Le Grand Ecart”

Girlpool “123”

Yumi Bitsu “Truth”

DJ Muggs & MF Doom “Assassination Day”

Slothrust “Sex And Candy”

Blood Cultures

Bodega

Strahinja Arbutina “You Don’t Need This in Your Life”

Chastity Belt

Machine Girl “Ginger Claps”

Marijuana Deathsquads

Eyedress

Bodega

Sega Bodega

Soko “Sweet Sound Of Ignorance”

Black Moth Super Rainbow

Ghost Spell s/t

Melody’s Echo Chamber

Sweet Valley “Sentimental Trash”

Water From Your Eyes / Rachel Brown

Palm

Antwon “Helicopter”

Secret Circle “Tube Socks”

Coca Leaf

Wolf Eyes No Hate

Bad Zu Kllkllkll

Health “L.A. Looks”

Water From Your Eyes We’re Set Up

Women Lawncare

VIP Skylark “Y2K Dynasty / Clipped”

Other SRS finds:

Kleenex “Nice”

Elite Gymnastics

Shackleton “Blood On My Hands” (Ricardo Villalobos ‘Apocalypso Now’ RMX)

Thee Oh Sees

Young Marble Giants

Mannequin Pussy

Parquet Courts

Craft Spells “Nausea”

Yes Yes A Thousand Times Yes

Black Dice “Smiling Off”

Death “Politicians In My Eyes”

Pigs You Ruin Everything

Elvis Depressedly

Warpaint

Chelsea Wolfe

Nnamdi Ogbonnaya

Dear Nora

clipping.

Helena Hauff

Future Islands

Tameyawt

Rolling Blackouts C.F.

Holy Fuck

Eric Copeland

Bush Tetras “Too Many Creeps”

Body, The

Lightning Bolt

Speedy Ortiz

Demdike Stare

Suuns

Idles

Swans

Khost

Snail Mail

Algiers

Nine Of Swords

Screaming Females

Dreamcrusher

Kate Tempest

Single Mothers

Fidlar

Meyhem Lauren & DJ Muggs “Hashashin” (f. Conway)

Nine Of Swords

Gymnastics Sneaks

Computer Graphics Lo-Fi

SRS finds Omega WUSB posted:

Tony Williams Lifetime “Right On”

TRNSGNDR/VHS Condominium

Shana Falana “There’s A Way”

Girl Pusher “Best Ecver”

New Dreams Ltd. Initiation Tape: Isle Of Avalon Edition

Tropic Of Cancer “I Woke Up And The Storm Was Over”

Hooded Fang “Ode To Subterrania”

Les Rallizes Denudes “The Night Collectors”

Alice Glass “Without Love”

Ciarra Black “Transition None”

Preoccupations “Disarray”

Holydrug Couple, The “Follow Your Way”

Javelin “Lindsay Brohan”

DIIV “Wait”

Airport / Claire Maisto “Alone”

Raveonettes, The “Bang”

Prayers “Shaking Hand With Razor Blades”

Iceage “Under The Sun”

Bug, The & Miss Red “Mi Lost”

Jah Wobble & Holger Czukay & The Edge “Hold On To Your Dreams”

Girlpool “Before The World Was Big”

Nature “Horse Jumper Of Love” (demo)

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard “Mr. Beat”

Boards Of Canada “Nothing Is Real”

Unstoppable Death Machines Know Tomorrow

Sun Ra

Black Marble “Collene”

Steve Khan “The Blue Man”

Free Love

M.I.A. “Born Free”

KVB, The “Never Enough”

General Lee & The Space Army Band “We Did It Baby Pt. I & II”

Taiwan Housing Project “Veblen Death Mask”

Harry Pussy “Showroom Dummies”

Cold Cave “Glory”

Isaurian “Hologram” (Jesu RMX)

Death “Keep On Knockin’”

Skywave “Wear This Dress”

Stella Donnelly “Boys Will Be Boys”

LCD Soundsystem “Yr City’s A Sucker”

Throbbing Gristle “Persuasion / Discipline”

DOM “Bochicha”

Cold Cave / Black Rain / Breyer Genesis P. Orridge “Comprehension”

Body-San “Shining The Money Ball”

Ducktails “Don’t Want To Let You Know”

Prurient “Christ Amongst The Broken Glass”

Etant Donnes “Brutal Piss Rods”

Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti “Fright Night (Nevermore)”

Bombshells, The (s/t)

Dame Charm School

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amanda-teaches · 5 years ago

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2020- 20 Questions

I was tagged by my girl, @atc74. Here’s some things about me!

1. Do you make your bed? No. Who has the time? The only time I come back to it is when I go back to sleep and mess it up again. Although, I will make it if I know someone is coming over and will need to be in my room.

2. Favorite number? I don’t really have one

3. What’s your job? Kindergarten Teacher

4. If I could would I go back to school? I have to keep taking classes for salary raises in my profession, but, if I had the choice, no, because I like my free time.

5. Can you parallel park? Yes. My sister can’t, so I’ve often had to switch spots with her to parallel park when she’s the driver.

6. A job people would be surprised I had? None, I think. Other than teaching, I’ve only been a secretary at my parents’ law firm in college. Oh, I’m a volunteer boxing coach on the weekends! Does that count?

7. Do you think Aliens are real? Not really, but I won’t rule out life out there, like bacteria and stuff.

8. Can you drive a standard car? No. My mom always wanted to teach me, but we traded in our manual before I learned to drive.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? Keeping up with the Kardashians. I don’t watch it often, but I can binge a marathon and revel in the drama.

10. Tattoos? Nope!

11. Favorite color? Purple.

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? Like Ang, so, SO many things. Um, off the top of my head: slow walkers, parents who don’t put any effort into their kid’s schoolwork, bad drivers.

13. Any Phobias? Flying and birds

14. Favorite childhood sport? Watching- baseball, Playing- none, lol

15. Do you talk to yourself? All. the. time. My brain needs company.

16. What movie do you adore? the Princess Bride! Lots of Disney movies.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? Yes! Sometimes, I don’t have the patience to finish big ones in one sitting, but I like them.

18. Favorite type of music? Country

19. Tea or coffee? Tea all the way. Caffeine has no effect on me, which is the WORST, so I only drink coffee occasionally. Love me some tea.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? A teacher. <3 Although, my mom says when I was really little, I wanted to be a cashier at the grocery store because they were always smiling, and a stripper because they looked like they were having fun dancing, ha ha ha. Apparently, my nanny would watch Chippendales.

Tagging: All of you. Yes, YOU. If you’re reading this, do this, and tag me because I love reading them.

#tag game #about me

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gamora-borealis · 6 years ago

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Reasons to watch CHiPs

The 1977-1983 TV show not the shitty movie

Okay so I'm too lazy to make one of those funny power points with comic sans, but here ya go.

CHiPs is this very '70s (a little '80s) show about California Highway Patrol officers, mainly focusing on Los Angeles motor officers and partners Frank "Ponch" Poncherello and Jon Baker. It's not perfect (the '70s were very problematic and talk about Police propoganda...) but here are some reasons to watch it.

Ponch and Jon are lovers. There is no heterosexual explanation for their relationship. Sure, Ponch still hooks up with a lot women and Jon dates girls occasionally, but why not? They wouldn't want anyone getting suspicious, so it's business as usual. Ponch is bi, and John is gay but just really likes hanging out with women (he drinks his respect women juice almost daily).

Jon is a cowboy from Wyoming (uhhh...Brokeback Mountain anyone?) and Ponch is Puetro Rican and speaks Spanish.

Their Sargent is played by Chris Pine's dad, Robert Pine, and I can't unsee it now everytime I see Chris Pine (Chris's mom is also on the show sometimes as the Sargent's wife and at one point has a baby named Christopher). The Sargent is always about to loose his damn mind over everyone's antics and it's great.

Season 3 and on, Michael Dorn (a.k.a Worf from Star Trek TNG) is one of the crusier cops, Jed Turner.

Season 2 has one of my favorite characters, Cindy Cahill, who is a staunch feminist and sometimes wears Princess Leia braids. She insists on using inclusive language and actively fights against the fact that she can't be a motor cop, even though she is a great motorcycle rider. She loves investigation and goes to Grad School at the same time too?? She is replaced by a model in Season 3, but Bonnie Clark isn't that bad after you get to know her.

According to a 90's CHiPs TV movie, her and Jon eventually date and get married, but I say it was only for convience because she is Aro/Ace and John is gay and they are good friends...

Sometimes Jon and Bonnie have the same haircut.

Caitlyn Jenner is on the show some in Season 5. Like her or hate her (for her politics), it's interesting. And I actually like her character.

Officer Artie Grossman, who is on the show from Season 1, is an amazing character. He loves food, is goofy, and just doesn't give a crap about other people's opinions. He conviently knows random facts about anything and everything, which always comes in handy.

Season 2 and on, Harlan Arliss is the station mechanic who is short, fiesty, a bit goofy, always wearing a labcoat, and also doesn't give a crap about what other people think of him. He starts out with a dog named Dave but the dog kind of disappears after a while. He and Artie eventually become good friends.

One of the originals, Officer Barry "Bear" Baricza is always wearing bellbottom uniform pants and has perfect hair.

They do so many things as CHP officers that CHP officers have no business doing, and should sometimes be left to local police or the FBI, but whatever...

Disco. Lots of Disco. As underscoring for car chases, and Ponch just loves Disco dancing and John likes watching him dance.

Listen to the theme song from Season 2 and on, you won't regret it.

Also some old '70s/'80s TV show jazz, in the earlier and later seasons especially.

Did I mention that Alan Silversti, the composer for the Avengers movies, does the music Season 2 and on?

EXPLOSIONS. Cars being launched over each other. Random chemicals exploding. Cars falling off cliffs and exploding. Car crashes that are so ridiculous, you just have to watch. With some slow motion, too.

Apparently Season 6 gets ridiculous. I'm on Season 5, but I've heard Season 6, in which John has left, involves plotlines like "a Robot tries to take over the station," "Evil glam rockers that look like KISS," and "Ponch becomes a Male Model."

Literally any season you can find the fads of the day. Tight short sorts, laser shows, roller disco, jet skying, skateboarding, three wheelers, exotic animals like Tigers, BMX bikes, street gangs that do martial arts, different kinds of car racing, going to Chippendales, horse riding, skydiving, nudist volleyball, and that is just off the top of my head...

The fashion and everything else is either retro aesthetic or ugly with no in between...John is always wearing turtlenecks and Ponch is always wearing low v-necks.

The "woah there is a women who is a *insert traditionally manly profession here,* dammnn" plots get old really fast and it's funny to see how everyone in the seventies thought they were soooo progressive.

They drive around Los Angeles all day and it's awesome.

I'll admit, the show is cheesy. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at anything before, at how ridiculous it is. Perfect to watch when you are sick or really bored.

And there you go. It's on Amazon Prime and local network broadcast stations that show old shows.

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coll2mitts · 2 years ago

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#68 Fame (1980)

Summer’s over, kids, let’s go back to school and check out the prototype film for the performance company genre.

Fame provided no overall plot to keep me interested, nor resolved anything at the end. A bunch of kids attend a performing arts school, everyone has a terrible time, some of them graduate with prospects, but ultimately the entertainment industry destroys people, so feel bad for them, I guess.

This movie only exists because David de Silva saw "A Chorus Line" on Broadway. It was a hit show at the time, and de Silva wanted to know more about the characters backstories, more specifically how they trained to become dancers. He roped in Christopher Gore to write the screenplay about a rag-tag group of high school students attending real-life New York City-based LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts (PA). Gore wasn't initially excited to write a screenplay as he'd previously only focused on theater, and it shows cause this definitely feels phoned in.

He does succeed in selling MGM on the script, however, and director Alan Parker is signed on. I'm not sure what the original screenplay looked like, but Parker wanted to focus on the dark side of the entertainment industry. He rewrote a bunch of Gore's original material and interviewed current attendees of PA to help inform the stories he told. The final draft is a bunch of disjointed vignettes of several students time at PA, and it sure focuses on the dark side, because that's literally all we see.

Every article or videos I watched about Fame referred to it as gritty, and like, sure. It's gritty. There are lots of sad people and underage tits. Maybe it's the first gritty dance movie that's ever existed, I don't know. Maybe I'm just not into the slow, twisted movies made in the 1970s that take themselves so. fucking. seriously. Clichés have to come from somewhere, I guess, and this movie is ground zero for all of them.

So many teen performance movies are based off of this formula, but have a stronger narrative drive than this. Fame focuses on 8 main kids:

Doris, A young girl who wants to change everything about herself to become an actress, and has an overbearing mother pushing her to succeed

Leroy, a young black kid, who is a great dancer, but is constantly mocked and pushed by his white English teacher to "do better". Some of my favorite lines from the teacher include, "Speak English," and "Try Othello; he's black."

Hilary, a promiscuous young ballerina of well means who has to get an abortion.

Lisa, a young female dancer who isn't good enough to make it and gets kicked out of the program.

Bruno, a talented young musician who butts heads with the orchestra teacher because he'd rather focus on electronic music. There's a lot of discussion about what instruments Mozart would compose on today because he was a *rebel* which like... I couldn't care less about.

Coco, a talented young singer, dancer and actress who is Bruno’s muse, but is easily taken advantage of by a creep pretending to cast a movie.

Ralph Garci, a young comic who lies about his family to hide his pain. He is weirdly obsessed with fellow Puerto Rican comedian Freddie Prinze, who attended PA in real life, and this informs a lot of his coping mechanisms, like alcoholism.

Montgomery, a young gay man who is the son of a famous actress, but ultimately lives alone and finds solace in other people's relationships.

We are haphazardly introduced to all of these characters through the PA audition process, and because nobody has names and I swear I have partial facial blindness, I couldn't distinguish who I was supposed to care about. Kids perform monologues (Montgomery performs one where he talks about a weekend trip with his mother as if they were sweethearts, which like, good god, gross), they play instruments, they sing, and in Leroy's case, he gets ogled by adults as an 8th grader because he has a 6 pack and dances like he works at Chippendales. The moment I questioned who wrote this screenplay came at the line "if you're Black or Puerto Rican you have a better chance of getting in", because a) it sounds fake and b) it sounds bitter. The students are encouraged to perform in multiple disciplines, which is kind of hilarious since they're immediately asked upon acceptance to pick only one to focus on.

We finally learn everyone’s names in the kid's English class, thank god, because my notes were getting messy. After class, we're treated with this totally improvised song and dance number called "Hot Lunch".

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FUN FACT: Fame was originally going to be called "Hot Lunch" until it was discovered there was a recently released erotic movie by the same name, which is hilarious and absolutely expected because Hot Lunch definitely sounds like a porno.

The first year at PA is spent establishing everyone's relationship to each other. Doris and Montgomery are friends, and they both detest Ralph because he constantly makes fun of them. This, of course, is setting up an enemies-to-lovers storyline between Doris and Ralph and I can't help but roll my eyes because girls in movies are expected to accept any form of attention as flattery instead of the blatant harassment Ralph lobs in Doris and Montgomery's direction.

Similarly, by Sophomore year, Leroy is sleeping with two dancers, Coco and Hilary, the former of which is a rich white bitch who is definitely fetishizing Leroy for being black. He doesn't seem to like either of them, though, as his main conflict is between him and the white English teacher who is shaming him for never learning how to read and being embarrassed because of it.

Coco, our talented singer, moves on from Leroy to focus on her singing career with the help of Bruno, who thinks of her as a muse. She tries to convince him to form a band with her, and suggests they may book more gigs or make more money if the underage girls showed off their goodies. Paired with the gawking the boys did into the girls' locker room, the 1960s/70s were fucking wild for sexualizing children, that's for sure...

Bruno, while he wants to foster Coco's talent, is hesitant to share his compositions because he is his harshest critic. This comes to a head when his father, who has spent 7k of his 1980s cab-driving earned dollars on electric musical instruments, decides to drive up to the school and blast Ralph and Coco's latest recording.

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I would lose my mind if I were driving in NYC and a street was completely blocked off so a bunch of kids could jump around in front of a building that literally has multiple rooms dedicated specifically for dancing. Bruno's cab driver dad should have known better and absolutely should have been fought on site for pulling a stunt like this.

Apparently this scene was a pain in the ass to film because people were pissed 46th street was shut down to shoot, disgruntled union reps didn't like the fact the director of photography was running the camera because their original camera operator had to leave because of a family emergency, and the dancers were requesting hazard pay because they were being forced to dance on top of cars. This specific scene took 3 days to shoot and it kind of looks like a mess because 8 different choreographed routines are being simultaneously performed over a song that is NOT "Fame" and is, in fact, Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff".

Meanwhile, our friend Lisa, who I haven't talked about at all because she's completely forgettable, is told her dream of being a dancer is never going to come to fruition. Instead of walking in front of a subway car like they tease she's going to do, she decides to become an actor, which I didn't even know she was interested in being at this point.

Doris and Ralph start dating, making Montgomery a third wheel, but he's weirdly OK with it because one of Ralph's little sisters was beaten, and the other molested, so the only way he can be comforted is by a grief bang from Doris. I’m generally perplexed at their relationship in the first place, but it does include this wholesome scene of them going to a viewing of Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time.

Doris' obsessive stage-mom warns against Doris getting pregnant, which she scoffs at, because clearly the ballerina is the one who is going to get knocked up and have to have a *gasp* abortion if she wants to continue to perform. I honestly saw this coming from a mile away, which lead me to google "movies where ballerinas get abortions" because I was convinced other movies have done this afterward, and the closest I got was that girl in Dirty Dancing, so maybe that's why it felt familiar.

Let's take a breather and watch Irene Cara sing, because honestly, these were the only moments of respite I found in this movie. She was previously in the Electric Company before being cast in Fame, and she is truly the standout star of this entire thing.

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Speeding toward the end because I've had enough, Ralph, like every comedian, develops a drug problem and screams at Doris and Montgomery about not supporting his shitty career because he is NOT funny. Doris lectures him about being himself, which is rich coming from her, because earlier she decided she wanted to change her name to Dominique to seem more exotic. Montgomery comes out to his class, Leroy harasses the English teacher at the hospital while her husband is dying to get her to pass him so he can graduate, and Coco gets taken advantage of by a fake casting couch situation where she is asked to get naked in front of a clearly non-French dude with a video camera in a sketchy apartment. This scene was genuinely hard to watch, and I am kind of disturbed by the fact this was the only scene I knew of this movie ahead of watching it because it has been referenced in pop culture a million times, parody or not.

Then the movie ends on their senior graduation with absolutely none of them set up for success in the real world, but the song is vaguely optimistic for unknown reasons because the tone of this movie has been nothing but grim since the first few frames.

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Peep former dancer Lisa singing, even though I had no idea she could do that, either. Also, I think its my least favorite trope to watch choirs start clapping while singing to make things seem more causal and peppy because I have had to do this and it feels as cringe as it looks.

Michael Gore (Leslie Gore of "It's My Party" fame's brother) collaborated with Dean Pitchford to compose the songs for Fame, beating out John Williams' work on The Empire Strikes Back for Best Original Score, further proving the Academy Awards are truly smoking something.

Would I recommend watching Fame? No. This was so extra it was exhausting. But I am introducing "I don't relate to that" into my everyday vernacular.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#unwarranted opinion #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes

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starspatter · 7 years ago

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For old time's sake: Haruki x Kyonko for whatever questions you want

Imma just answer all the questions. =P1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?Considering the number of penalties Kyonko gets for arriving late, she’s pretty much Haruki’s walking wallet.2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?Haruki, and Kyonko covers him with her cardigan.3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?Seeing as he has no problem changing for gym in the classroom when others are around/wearing Chippendale outfits(?), I’d say Haruki.4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?Kyonko tries to tell Haruki not to stay up all night searching for aliens and whatnot but ofc he doesn’t listen.5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?I imagine Kyonko’s not the best at cooking but she tries anyway and Haruki makes fun of her for her lack of “womanly qualities”.6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?Haruki and Kyonko, respectively.7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?If by “other’s clothes” you mean outfits Haruki picks out for Kyonko… *cough*8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”Kyonko is basically the errand girl of the SOS Brigade already, so…9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?Haruki is a total backseat driver, although in high school he would at least be the one to give her rides on his bike as opposed to the other way around à la Haruhi and Kyon. XP (Given the way he drives though I’m not sure Kyonko’s in any better position. ^^; )10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?Haruki totally has Kyonko pose in different outfits, and even though she grumbles she goes along with it.11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?Haruki’s doing the backflips for sure.12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?Well in the novels Haruhi swore off alcohol when she tried it during the island trip, so I imagine Haruki does the same. I don’t see Kyonko going too overboard, so I guess neither of them.13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?Haruki, although his “gifts” aren’t exactly what you’d consider traditional…14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?Seeing as we still don’t know Kyon(ko)’s last name… ^^;15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?I don’t think either one would really scream, but Haruki would insist on bringing it outside in hopes that it’s a magical creature who would later come back to thank them by granting them wishes or whatnot. Kyonko would think he’s just doing it out of the goodness of his heart at first but then when she hears the explanation she just rolls her eyes and prays it doesn’t turn into a giant monster spider like the cave cricket incident.16: Which one gives the other their jacket?Haruki, as in “Someday in the Rain”.17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?Well only Kyonko has a little brother as far as we know(?), and I don’t think he’d be so much overprotective as idolize Haruki. XP18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?Out loud? Kyonko, probably. (I mean, she already kissed him in Closed Space but I guess that doesn’t really count as an actual confession. XP)19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?Well I’ve been operating under a happier AU idea than our actual theory of the genderbent cast being the first generation, but assuming Haruhi is still their daughter I think they’d be good parents either way (if a bit overbearing on Haruki’s side). Haruhi does mention her mom works a lot so she had to learn to do the cooking and stuff, so I imagine Kyonko’s more the breadearner of the family.20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Haruki would type with symbols, although I think it’d be more as an attempt to reproduce an alien language/secret code.21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?I think Haruki would be a more likely target for bullying but he probably wouldn’t put up with that bullshit so they’d be scared of him instead. If anyone did come after Kyonko though he’d definitely defend her.22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?Kyonko: “Yare yare.” (“Good grief.”)23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?Kyonko comes home to find Haruki playing with a puppy (that may or may not be able to talk).24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?Haruki will carry Kyonko, whether she protests against it or not.25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?Haruki loves his competition, although Kyonko’s cheering would probably be pretty laid-back.26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?Haruki, never one to pass up a blackmail opportunity.27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?*Haruki holds up next outfit for Kyonko to try on*28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?Kyonko’s presumably the only one with a pet (although now I’m wondering if Shamisen’s predecessor was a talking dog instead of a cat), but I don’t think Haruki would be terrified so much as thrilled if he knew it could speak at one point.29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?Haruki due to his height, although he’ll run off with it anyway to tease Kyonko.30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?Some mysterious landmark, like Stonehenge or something. Haruki would be taking all the pictures for paranormal research of course.

#cryptoriawebb #starspeaks

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thewebofslime · 6 years ago

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A charity run by Prince Charles received donations from an offshore company that was used to funnel vast amounts of cash from Russia in a scheme that is under investigation by prosecutors, the Guardian can reveal. Money flowing through the network included cash that can be linked to some of the most notorious frauds committed during Vladimir Putin’s presidency. In all, it is estimated that $4.6bn (£3.5bn) was sent to Europe and the US from a Russian-operated network of 70 offshore companies with accounts in Lithuania. The details have emerged from 1.3m banking transactions obtained by the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project and the Lithuanian website 15min.lt. Shared with media partners including the Guardian, the data represents one of the largest ever banking leaks. There is no suggestion that end recipients of funds were aware of the original source of the money, which arrived via a disguised route. However, the documents indicate that criminal and legitimate money may have been mixed together, making it impossible to trace the original source, before passing through screen companies into the global banking system. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Financier Ruben Vardanyan with the Russian president, Vladimir Putin. Photograph: Sputnik/Alamy The cash was then used legally to pay for private jets, custom-built yachts, luxury properties, holidays, football tickets and fees at top English private schools. Business Today: sign up for a morning shot of financial news Read more “This is the pipe through which the proceeds of kleptocracy flow from Russia to the west,” said the anti-corruption campaigner Bill Browder. For years, Browder has been trying to trace what happened to $230m stolen from the Moscow tax office by a gang that took control of subsidiaries of his investment fund, Hermitage Capital. Evidence from the leak suggests some of the proceeds moved through this network. The findings will be likely to add to concerns expressed by UK ministers who have vowed to crack down on those facilitating the transfer of fortunes out of Russia by elites seeking to spend their money in the west. Ministers have demanded better due diligence by British institutions before accepting money from offshore companies. The leak focuses on Troika Dialog, a leading Russian investment bank now merged with the country’s biggest high street bank. Emails reveal how certain managers at Troika kept money flowing through the pipeline for more than eight years, starting in 2004. Troika’s overall boss at the time was Ruben Vardanyan, an Armenian financier with close ties to Putin, a host of international celebrities and members of the British royal family. Two years ago he was listed as the 99th richest Russian by Forbes magazine. There is no suggestion Vardanyan did anything illegal, though he may have been an unwitting beneficiary of the flow of money. Vardanyan said he believed the bank knew its clients and “applied regulations and compliance procedures that met the requirements of the legislation of that time”. And he insisted he was unaware that Troika companies received funds relating to any frauds. However, the data, which is being examined by government prosecutors in Lithuania, raises questions about the light-touch scrutiny of payments organised by the bank. The files highlight how money flowed through the network in a way that kept the sources of funds unclear. They reveal a number of intriguing transactions, including how staff at Troika apparently helped organise the transfer of $70m to one of Putin’s best friends, Sergei Roldugin. A cellist who is godfather to Putin’s eldest child, Roldugin was unmasked by the Panama Papers as the potential beneficiary of money suspected of being held on behalf of the Russian president. The sums revealed by this leak are higher than previously uncovered. Vardanyan admitted he had heard of Roldugin, but said: “I haven’t done any business with him personally. Why did he receive money from Troika Dialog companies? I don’t know anything about that.” In 2009, 2010 and 2011, three transfers from Vardanyan totalling $200,000 went to the Prince’s Charities Foundation, a fundraising vehicle for Prince Charles. The money came from a British Virgin Islands shell company, Quantus Division Ltd. The donations were, said Vardanyan, charitable donations intended to “preserve architectural heritage in England”. The money went towards the rescue of Dumfries House, a stately home in Ayrshire with a priceless collection of Chippendale furniture. In 2007, the mansion and its collection were set to be auctioned off to private buyers. Charles came to the rescue, raising £45m at breakneck speed to save the property for the nation. But the venture left his foundation in debt, and in his efforts to plug the hole, the heir to the throne went on a fundraising drive. Vardanyan raised a further £1.5m, from a group of Russian businessmen, and the prince thanked them with a black-tie dinner in 2014. The files show funds from Quantus also covered the €2m cost of flying the late rock star Prince to Moscow for a Troika corporate gala in 2007. A further €20,000 was spent on Vardanyan’s attendance at the world leaders’ conference at Davos. The data suggests Quantus sent nearly $500,000 to American Express to cover Vardanyan’s credit card bills. His wife received €935,000 in payments over three years at an account in Spain, and his mother-in-law, Emilia Zonabend, a further €900,000. Vardanyan described the network as an independent arm of his main investment bank, helping wealthy private clients manage their money. It is understood he was never involved in its operations or management, did not personally oversee transactions or client accounts, and had no day-to-day involvement in its activities. However, he did not deny benefiting from funds held there. The data suggests many of the Troika-managed companies, including Quantus, were not created for particular clients, but contained pooled funds. Money entered from multiple legitimate sources and was then used to fund the lifestyle spending of dozens of individuals. The leak ties some of the funds passing through the Laundromat companies to three major frauds, the most notorious of which was the Magnitsky scandal. Sergei Magnitsky was a lawyer working for Browder who died in a Moscow prison after discovering the head of the city’s tax office had conspired to issue fraudulent tax refunds. Hub companies in the Troika structure received a combined $130m from six shell vehicles, which prosecutors say were used in the Magnitsky fraud, the data indicates. Two more cases suggest criminal funds flowed through the network: Companies named in the prosecution of a fuel price fixing scam at Moscow’s state-owned Sheremetyevo airport appear to have paid $37m into the Troika network. A further $17m in transfers connects Troika-managed companies to a Moscow resident accused of laundering 50bn roubles using schemes that helped businesses evade tax and send money abroad. A key component of the scheme using Troika companies was a Lithuanian bank, Ukio, which was shut down by regulators in February 2013 after being declared insolvent. The bank is under investigation by Lithuanian prosecutors tasked with investigating the laundering of the Magnitsky money. Ukio accounts were also named by the US Department of Justice in documents tracing the Magnitsky proceeds. Documents show money moved in and out of the bank in deals made by apparently fictitious businesses, tax haven-registered entities with no offices, no staff, and no presence online or in the world of commerce. “You have to ask yourself, why is money being moved in this way, through multiple companies?” said Tom Keatinge, a money laundering expert at the Royal United Services Institute thinktank. “It’s a way of obfuscating source and ownership.” There appear to have been a number of others unwittingly caught up in the network. Troika-linked entities were used to pay for expenses that open a window into the world of the super-rich. One Troika shareholder, Valentin Zavadnikov, apparently drew on €70m from Troika network accounts to fit out and run his two luxury motor yachts – Celestial Hope and Quinta Essentia. An invoice for the Quinta, whose rooms were perfumed with scent made from wine produced at the family’s Italian vineyard, itemises €6,000 on electric sliding doors for the bathrooms, €60,000 for installing a hamam (Turkish bath), and €15,000 on “water toys”. Troika Laundromat companies loaned just under €15m to the mother-in-law of the then governor of Samara, an administrative region east of Moscow. The woman was at the time 80 years old and had no apparent means of repaying the loan, which appeared to be unsecured. Data suggests the money was used to buy land and build a holiday home in Spain, just north of Barcelona. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Stamford Bridge, London, home of Chelsea FC. Panama-registered Airship Universal paid £126,000 for a corporate box at the stadium. Photograph: Peter Nicholls/Reuters Panama-registered firm Airship Universal Inc – also managed by Troika – sent £126,000 to Chelsea football club in August 2012 for a corporate executive box at its Stamford Bridge ground. The club said the purchase was arm’s length, at full market value, and that it complies with all relevant legislation in dealings with clients. In May 2011, Airship paid £100,000 to the dealership Rolls-Royce Motor Cars London, apparently on behalf of a Russian businessman. Had the showroom Googled their client, they would have found articles describing him as a former agent of the Russian security service the FSB. “It’s deeply concerning to us, and we take this situation extremely seriously,” the dealership said in a statement. They added the sale took place under a different owner, that new management had introduced “exacting” standards and that an investigation was under way. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Airship paid £100,000 to the Rolls-Royce dealership in London in May 2011. Photograph: Sam Panthaky/AFP/Getty Images A Quantus-funded offshore firm called Flashback Services Limited spent heavily on private jets. It paid more than $42m to the Canadian manufacturer Bombardier, and millions more to cover the crewing and maintenance of two jets listed on the UK aircraft registry, and operated from Farnborough airfield. Bombardier said it had a robust due diligence proess, and that its checks on Flashback “did not reveal any anomalies”. Vardanyan sold Troika in 2012 to the giant Russian state-controlled Sberbank, for a reported $1bn. But he remains in the business: he is the controlling shareholder in Armenia’s Ameriabank, and his partner there is the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, which holds 18% of the shares. Headquartered in London, the EBRD is owned by nation states including the UK and the US. Vardanyandescribes himself as a philanthropist and social entrepreneur who has made a commitment to invest the vast majority of his wealth in charitable endeavours. It is understood Troika Dialog was never fined by any regulatory body or law enforcement agency and at all times observed international standards of transparency and compliance.

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