#driving myself insane when i should be working lol

[gorillagorillagorillagorilla]

There is something so fucking wild about johnny being so influential on the people he spent time around that even after 50 years they still recognize him INSTANTLY. EVEN IN SOMEONE ELSES BODY, EVEN BY THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MOVE ON

Like fuck, rogue had broken up with him, alt told him to fuck off as soon as he'd found her, even Kerry and him were on shitty terms at the end. But they all fucking respond, they know it's him the instant they see him. Alt didn't have to even acknowledge him, could've totally ignored his presence beyond the blackwall, but she doesn't! She shows right the fuck up! Even after all the shit he's done to Kerry and Rogue they still want to relive when he made them happy! Even when they know it's not gonna last or it's not gonna help.

And sure it's been 50 years so rose colored glasses and all that but fuck. It's been 50 years. And even though they've all been doing their own things and (trying) to move past him they still recognize him the INSTANT he's back

[motherforthefamicom]

trying to start working on my ap art summer work (put it off all summer and now theres. 10 days left until school starts apperently) i hateeeee how vague everything is ugh

[mistyechoes]

uh sorry for posting weirdly it will regrettably happen again

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[ohbueckers]

HEART OF A WOMAN. you should call into work if that ain’t too much to ask, i could pour you up a drink and we could burn somethin’.

03, CHAPTER THREE. COME THROUGH.

ju speaks. late chapter again lol and this election fucked me uuup but thank God for writing as a distraction. you can expect another part between now and monday mayyybe… i have some free time. pairing. wnba!paige bueckers x fem!oc. warnings. same old + sexual innuendos (we’re very familiar with my edging game).

present day, may 2025.

paige: yo 6:23pm

wyd?

nailea text me back bro 6:29pm

nailea: hmmm

busy

paige: busy my ass

nailea disliked a message

nailea: i’ve been at work all day. some of us don’t get to just play basketball, madison 😓

paige: ohhh is that right?

i’ll have you know i work hard af ma

nailea: hard enough for a reward?

paige loved a message

paige: bring that ass over here nai

nailea: i’ve got emails to finish

paige: they’ll be there tomorrow

i’m here right now. waitin on you actually

nailea: maybe i have been thinking ab it 6:32pm

paige: mhm?

well you ain’t gotta think no more let’s just do

nailea laughed at a message

nailea: you’re really ridiculous

paige: come over and tell me that to my face

nailea: depends on what you got there

a girl needs incentives

read 6:35pm

paige: i got plenty

few drinks, maybe roll up too. thought that might get you

nailea: it’s a start

send the address, i’ll come through when i’m done

paige loved a message

i sink back into the couch, letting my head rest against the arm, my feet comfortably draped across paige’s lap. the last few days, i tried to keep myself busy, focus on work, ignore the way my phone would vibrate and my thoughts would jump straight to her. the same old game. she’d sent a few texts, nothing too serious, just little things to test the waters i guess, and when she called yesterday, talking about how much she missed me, i could already tell she was pulling me back in, trying to see if that thread between us would hold.

paige kept her word, though—i can give her that. i said i’d answer, and she made sure i’d have a reason to. she knew exactly what to say, and it’s a shame that she always does, really. it’s messed up, but it works. i can’t say i haven’t missed this, either. the way she can look at me and make me forget everything i swore i’d remember, every reason i should’ve walked away.

and now, here we are, the sun setting behind her window and casting everything, even her, in some warm, orange glow that only makes her look all the more attractive. it’s like the universe is playing along, trying to romanticize something i know i should be more careful with. there’s an old celtics game playing on the tv, but neither of us is really paying attention to it. i watch her more than the screen, notice the way her fingers brush absentmindedly over my leg, the way she insists that she should be the one to hold the joint to my lips.

paige leans back, and her hand has inched from my ankle to a casual spot on my bare thigh. we’re both too deep in drinks and hits to make sense of it, but i’m not sure i would’ve said anything even if i was sober. she’s wearing one of her uconn tees, which i guess you could call old now, the shirt hugging her arms a little tight. her hair’s falling over her shoulders, looking a little shriveled but still perfect, and every time she glances at me, she wears this smug little smirk.

“…feels like everything i knew it’d be. more work and pressure than it seems, but you know me,” paige says, her grin turning a little self-satisfied, like she’s relishing every second of her own success. we’ve been catching up—if that’s what you’d call it—for awhile now. i should probably leave soon, sober up and drive home. i’m not that far. but i don’t want to.

she drags her tongue slowly over her bottom lip, eyes hazily drifting back over to me. “what about you, huh?” she asks. “you got that insane move up. what’s that been like?”

i roll my eyes, tilting my head against the couch arm to look at her. “it’s not that insane.”

paige grins, shrugging and taking a sip of her lazy attempt at a cocktail. i’d offered to make them myself, honestly not trusting the blonde to not fuck it up, but she’d insisted, hostess duties or something.

“still sounds like a pretty big deal. you’re all professional and shit now,” she rambles, and i can’t help but chuckle at her choice of words.

i shake my head, hiking one of my legs up. “it’s not like i’m paige bueckers or anything,” i tease, a stupid, huge smile on my face. how is she able to bring out the worst and the best in me? “no one’s asking me to sign their shoes after a meeting.”

she laughs, eyes half-lidded and glassy, gaze intimidatingly lingering on me just a little too long. “bet you got your own version of that, though. people hangin’ on your every word, just tryna get a second of your time. don’t lie.”

i shrug, eyes shooting away from her. i don’t get how she does it. “i mean, it’s been good,” i admit. “long hours, but it’s nice to finally get involved the way i always wanted to, y’know?”

her hand shifts a little on my thigh, just enough to remind me it’s there, and i glance down. “coulda called that years ago,” she murmurs, barely louder than a whisper. then, it’s silent for a moment. just long enough for me to think of something else to ask her before she beats me to it. “you happy?”

i swallow, suddenly feeling a little hot in the face. “i am,” i reply after a pause, furrowing my eyebrows with a nod, almost like i’m trying to convince myself of it. “the dream, right?” i let out a breathy laugh, and paige smiles.

it’s silly to think that the both of us could recall that conversation like it was yesterday. but this wasn’t the dream. not the one we had when we were kids. just our own fucked up, adult version of it. and somehow, someway, we’re still here. somehow, someway, we still can’t let it go.

“and the people? they treat you right?” she sounds like she really cares, but is still trying not to press too hard.

“everyone’s good. most of them, anyway.” she can probably see through every word i say. pick up on the way i describe everything as good. i hesitate, looking back up at her. “never thought i’d be this close with a pro team after graduating, that’s for sure.”

“bro, ‘kea really don’t play ‘bout you,” paige laughs, but she’s serious. rickea’s one of the first people i got close with during my internship, contrary to belief. i was barely around the team then, too. “and maya’s been talking all kinds of good about you since cam’s party.”

i can feel my face flush, and i shift to sit up next to her, suddenly acutely aware of how close i am to paige, how tangled up i’ve let myself become. the mention of her name has clearly been a sore subject. i’m not sure why i feel so guilty, paige was mine first, but my mind flashes to her anyway, and then to paige, who’s probably hearing everything maya’s been saying about me, while i’m here, in the middle of all of it.

i don’t wanna ask what she’s been saying, and i surely don’t wanna press further into how deep paige and maya might be. ignorance is bliss, right? but shouldn’t it be my business? is paige still my business?

instead, i force a shrug. “i mean, it’s not like we’re on the same level,” i say, clearly selling myself a little short. maya’s been here longer, knows what she’s doing better than i do. credit never hurt.

paige doesn’t say anything. she inches just a little bit closer, and the sound of a sold out stadium of cheers from tatum’s three pointer is suddenly going in one ear and out the other. a small smirk tugs at her lips, and she tilts her head, eyes not sure what to focus on as she rubs up and down on my thigh, hand inching a little higher everytime. “i agree.”

i squint at her. “you do?” but it’s less of a question. my eyes flick to her lips, and i know she catches it because her smile widens, just a little.

“mhm,” she murmurs, her fingers twisting in, gripping my thigh until i’m squeezing my legs together. there’s a moment of silence, like she’s giving me a moment to breathe, to prepare, and she’s not done. “nobody’s fuckin’ with you, baby. believe that.”

i can feel my defenses slipping—not that they were ever really there anyway—as she presses closer, and i feel a warmth spreading through me, one that has nothing to do with the la heat. “what are we even doing, p?” i ask, and i don’t know where it came from. no part of me wanted to start an argument, or worse, hear the truth. i can’t look away.

she shifts, her expression softening as she glances down, then up again. she doesn’t know the answer either. “i dunno. what we always do.” she leans back a little, resting her head on the couch right near my chest, so close that her breath brushes against me with each exhale.

i tilt my head down, just enough to meet her blue hues, and the words come out before i even realize i’m saying them. “i’m supposed to be over this. over you.”

the second they’re out, i wish i could take them back. i didn’t wanna ruin the moment. the way her face changes, her jaw tightening and a flicker of something unreadable flashing in her eyes, tells me i’ve hit a nerve. a silence falls between us, an uncomfortable one if i’m honest, stretching longer than i mentally prepared myself for.

paige screws her eyes shut, letting out a low, frustrated breath as she sits up, running a hand over her face like she’s trying to gather herself. the loss of her touch makes me feel cold. “fuck, nai.”

i push myself up too, eyebrows are furrowed as i try to make sense of it. “what? i just asked a question.”

“you always gotta make shit so fuckin’ difficult,” she mutters, shaking her head like this whole thing is somehow my fault. like i’m the one complicating it.

i frown, glancing down, and she continues. “you’re just—God, nai, it’s like you can’t just let things be. you always gotta question it, question me.” she bites down on her lip. she’s actually upset, and the horrible part about it is that it’s so like her—so unmistakably paige—that somehow, i can’t even bring myself to be mad.

i want to laugh. “why does that piss you off?” i don’t want to say it, but the words slip out anyway. “you think you’ve given me any reason not to? especially now that you’re seeing maya?”

her head crooks to look at me, and her eyes narrow with it. “what the fuck does maya have to do with this?”

i can feel the heat in my face, the way everything inside me tightens, like i’ve been holding my breath for way too long. “what do you mean, what’s she got to do with it? you’re seeing her, paige. i’m not blind.”

her jaw clenches tighter than before, and she stands up, pacing a few steps before turning back to me. “we’re not—” she pauses, clearly trying to find her words, but i’m not giving her the time.

“that’s all i need to know,” i finish, forcing a tight-lipped grin. “you don’t have to lie. i’m quite sick of those from you, actually.” i chuckle, but it’s a hollow sound, one that doesn’t even make it past my throat. i reach for my shoes that i tossed to the side when i got here, pulling them onto my feet.

paige watches, hands on her hips, and i’m fine with her quiet. “i don’t want you to leave upset with me over somethin’ we coulda talked about,” she softens, but it doesn’t change the fact that i’m already over it.

“i’m not upset with you,” i bluff, and i tie the laces of my sneakers a little tighter than necessary.

she glances down, tongue swarming her mouth, and i don’t even have to look at her to know that she’s thinking of some way to stop me. “nai—“ she starts.

“i’m not upset,” i repeat, and i hope it was more firm this time. i force myself to look her in the eyes, not a single thought behind them. neither of us is willing to be the first to back down, but i’m too exhausted to care anymore. “i just need to go,” i finish, standing up and rounding the couch.

paige’s face drops, hesitation etched across her entire face. “you can’t leave. you had too much. just… stay, aight? we’ll figure it ou—”

i grab my jacket, ignoring her weak attempts. somehow, this all feels like that night again, and i feel that familiar nausea creep up. “i’ll call a fucking uber,” i snap, throwing the door open. and before she can stop me, i’m gone, my pulse racing as i step out into the hall, leaving behind the sound of her voice.

i don’t think i’m very good at pretending i’m not upset.

[qqueenofhades]

can you assuage my creeping fear about the debate between harris and trump? my brain is like. the media will be salivating over any chance to get the story HARRIS FLUBS THE DEBATE MORE AT 6 unless she's 100% perfect for it. i keep telling myself that she's an incredibly seasoned prosecutor who knows exactly what to do to unravel these sorts of people, she has plenty of time to prepare, he's completely gone over the edge into incoherence most of the time, but i also keep thinking of how, after weeks of her absolutely pile-driving the republican party, the media will be circling for any mistake, mis-step, or imperfection to blow out of proportion to make it seem like she's failing. i guess what i'm afraid of is the other shoe dropping? or the bubble bursting? i'm afraid of this hope?

i was barely aware of obama in 2008, too young to vote and not paying attention, so i don't know how this kind of momentum turned into the juggernaut that got him elected. i know you believe that the same can happen here, how did he take on the predatory press?

Well, first, we need to recognize that the media treatment of the debate WILL be wildly unfair, full stop. If Trump shows up and puts on pants, he will be applauded by the media, because they have the lowest imaginable bar where he is concerned and everything that would have been multiply-disqualifying for any other candidate makes them just shrug and find a way to make excuses for him. So yes, he will literally be congratulated if he shows up on September 10, because that is how the media works. See: three relentless weeks of bullying Biden out of the race after the bad debate, barely mentioning Trump's equally insane diatribes at the same debate, and now, when he's gone full-on demented and is raving about AI-generated crowds at Kamala's events? Nary a peep. Lol.

However, the main narrative that's emerging from the Harris takeover is that voters and the media are miles apart on where they actually see this race going, and without the media's favorite chew toy of Biden's shortcomings, it has become increasingly difficult to avoid focusing on Trump's flaws, even tangentially. See the mainstream media reporters whining constantly that Harris hasn't given them a press conference and congratulating Trump for lying to them nonstop for an hour; they simply have no frame of reference that's remotely useful, because they are so beholden to making Trump look like a normal candidate and focusing on Harris's "flaws" as if they are remotely comparable to his. But at the same time, there has been a far heightened level of pushback on this BS manipulation, and everybody can see through it, precisely because the media and/or the right-wing smear machine has tried this so many times before and their tactics are now completely transparent. Ordinary voters don't give a shit whether Harris WiLl tAkE qUesTioNs fRoM tHe mEdiA; they're too busy flooding her campaign with donations, attending her rallies, signing up for volunteer shifts, and so forth. In fact, the reason the media is trying SO HARD to kill her momentum is because they, like Trump, rely on doing so. The more they try and don't succeed, the more panicked they'll get. We have to prepare for that, and we have to have her back.

That said, we should recall that Harris easily crushed Pence in their debate in 2020, and Pence was actually halfway presentable at it compared to Trump (which is a low bar, but still). The way Trump "wins" is that he just repeats a lot of lies forcefully and over and over, which Biden was ill-prepared to counter because he has a far more deliberate and decisive speaking style (related to stutter/speech difficulties, temperament as a politician, etc). Everything that I have seen from the Harris campaign in terms of communication so far, however, has been the exact kind of clapback that makes Trump look stupid and which shows that they are very attuned to the kind of strategies that work against that nonsensical bullying Gish gallop. Therefore, I have to trust that they have INTENSIVELY studied what went wrong with Biden/Trump in June, and also empowered Kamala to do what she does in her fashion and which has been extremely successful thus far at knocking down Trump's BS. Also, she's just a better and more fluent communicator than Biden, she looks and sounds more energetic, and those stupid aesthetic Vibes are half of the battle when it comes to convincing the public.

Also, we should recognize that Trump looked deeply creepy on stage at the debates with HRC in 2016, and that was when he was downright sane compared to now. He stalked her, he stood behind her, he rolled his eyes, he bullied her, and people noticed that (he subsequently won the election, yes, but if nothing else, 2024 feels nothing like 2016). If he has to stand on stage with a black woman kicking his ass, after his appearance at the NABJ event in Chicago quickly became a touchstone for how badly he fucked it up, he is going to just look BAD, and when that's the case, people will immediately fit it into the existing narrative (that he's scared of Harris and deeply racist and unglued). You can also play your part in making sure it does. At least half of the Bidengate furor came from Democrats melting down and yelling about it afterward, and that led into the knives-out media coverage that spiraled for 3.5 weeks until Biden withdrew. We can, yknow, NOT DO THAT this time!

So: yeah. We have to be aware that yes, the media coverage of the debate will find absolutely every excuse to praise Trump and bash Harris, because that's just baked in. However, we can also understand that there's a wide-and-getting-wider CHASM between how ordinary voters see things right now and how the media is desperate to play it, and the more transparent they get, the more easily we are able to call it out. (See Lawrence O'Donnell's rant the other night.) We are going to have to keep doing that and not let up, but it's not going to go well for Trump either way and it's still an open question as to whether he even shows up after trying SO hard to dodge. It's not out of the question that he'll announce on September 4 that by Harris not showing up to the Fox debate she never agreed to and which exists only in his deluded mind, he doesn't have to do the same on September 10. He is a scared fucking orange chickenshit who KNOWS he's badly outmatched against Harris and whose entire campaign strategy at this point relies on lying low and trying not to make voters remember again how much they hate him, which is already backfiring. And with your help, we can make him MORE scared all the way to prison. Let's do it.

[vashtijoy]

Hi! Pre-emptive sorry for the long ask- I don't know if you've answered this before but I was scrolling through your blog and in one of your posts you note that the brief bit we see of Akira's hometown has high rise buildings, which implies it's a city. I could've sworn there was in game dialogue calling him a country boy though or referencing him being from a rural area? Is there something in the Japanese text to suggest these are meant to be taken as jokes (I.E. protag is from a city, but it's not as big as Tokyo so he's playfully considered 'rural') or is this a case of the game devs simply not considering what buildings they had in the background of that scene?

Hello! First of all, I think it's insanely unlikely that the game devs just forgot Joker was meant to be from a shack on top of a mountain and accidentally put him in a city. Maybe they didn't have time to design a farm and shoved him in a random cityscape instead? Well, maybe. I would at least have pasted in a couple more trees.

So what do we know about this?

Sojiro calls Joker 田舎もん inakamon, short for 田舎者 inakamono—someone from the countryside; someone provincial. This is what's translated as "country boy", or "country bumpkin". Chihaya uses it about herself, and Chihaya I think is certainly meant to be very rural. The Adorable Woman and Rural Young Man in Shibuya Station use inaka a lot:

His name did not originally use inakamono or similar, by the way—he's the 上京してきた青年 joukyou shite kita seinen, "the young man who's moved to Tokyo". Note the moving-up kanji there, 上, lol—this is not a sideways move, it's a definite move up.

so what is the inaka?

In short, the inaka can be the remote countryside—but it can also just be your hometown, of any description. It can be legit anywhere that isn't Tokyo. Here's Tofugu:

My mouth was hanging open and I know I was being rude, but it was really hard to pull myself together. The woman I was speaking with was from one of the top Japanese Universities. She has had international relationships, traveled the world, and done work that most foreign anime fans would kill to see. Someone with her experiences, to me, should be open-minded about other cultures and lifestyles. Just the same, I can't help but to be bothered by what she said: "I feel like anything outside Tokyo's 23 wards is inaka." [...] Often, people usually just use what they read in the dictionary, but I learned fast that "countryside" in American English is much different than in Japanese English. For me, countryside means farms. Countryside is driving to see your closest neighbor, riding tractors for work and pleasure, and being able to immediately tell who's from your town just by looking at them. When I say this to Japanese people and ask them to explain inaka, the joke is always the same: "Inaka is anything outside of Tokyo." Osaka and Kyoto, for many, aren't inaka, but Sapporo, which is one of the few parts of the country where this legendary thing called "insulated housing" exists, is inaka. [...] So you might be wondering how "bad" it really is out here. Truthfully, I'm living in a city, at least by American standards. Great bus and train systems, tons of malls and movie theaters, some of the major stores people visit Tokyo to see, game centers, golfing… and a few rice paddies. Not many, but there are some. Imagine a fashionable mall, famous manga store, well-respected school with a strong baseball team, and major supermarket, all within walking distance, with maybe one field of rice. Honestly, the place is so city that I don't think I would willingly eat any rice that grew in that field. I swear, it's in front of a bus stop.

So, tl;dr: if you aren't in Tokyo, Osaka or Kyoto, you're probably in the inaka—at least to someone's mind. You can be somewhere that looks to us in every way like a city, and be in the inaka. And if you pick up sticks and move to Tokyo? Then you have a good chance of being jibed about being a "country boy".

so what is joker's inaka like?

[Joker] 田舎に帰りたい inaka ni kaeritai I miss the country... [lit. I want to go back to the inaka.] Ryuji ハハ、都会の洗礼ってか? haha, tokai no senrei tte ka? Hah. Not used to the big city yet, huh? [lit. Haha, so this is your first time in the city?]

We don't get a huge amount of detail in-game about Joker's home. Besides Sojiro's "country boy", Ryuji has a couple of comments. Here's another:

Ryuji あれ? お前ン家ってわりと田舎? are? omae n uchi tte wari to inaka? Wait a sec, your hometown isn't near the countryside, is it? [lit. isn't your place relatively countrified?] Ryuji いや、大自然でランニング練習とか気持ち良さそうだなーって。 iya, daishizen de ranningu renshuu to ka kimochi yasasou da naa tte I was just thinkin' it'd be great to run an' train somewhere out where it's all big, naturey open space. [lit. no, I thought it seemed like it'd feel great to train in the great outdoors and stuff.]

(I think something may be off here with that translation of daishizen, which seems to connote "the great outdoors", "a vast wilderness", etc, as well as just meaning "nature" (the sort you get out into) more generally". The word has been split up as if Ryuji was just saying "big nature" for some reason, like if you thought "the great outdoors" meant "the outdoors is great :D".)

But we can see from Ryuji's statement that Joker's home is wari to inaka, "relatively countrified", "kind of countrified"—it's more the country than Tokyo is, but it's probably not the ass end of nowhere, either. It's somewhere Ryuji pictures getting out into nature—but even if that's accurate and not just in Ryuji's city-boy head, that again doesn't connote "ass end of nowhere"; a lot of very built-up places are startlingly close to farmland or to nature, as with the putative rice field at the bus stop that we read about earlier.

the artbook picture

There is, of course, a picture of Joker's home in the artbook:

That doesn't scream "rural" to me—though it's also not the built-up area we see him in with Shido. It backs onto a cliff, it's very green. It's clearly a row of houses on a street, maybe in a fancy suburb on the edge of the city?

It's a nice house, at any rate. Joker moving into Sojiro's attic, with his clothes in a box, will have been a harsh step down.

Another detail from this image before we move on:

Look at this board. We can make out what it says. We can even, just possibly, make out a town name there...

日立自治会 掲示板 hitachi jichikai keijiban Hitachi Neighbourhood Association noticeboard

自治会 jichikai—neighbourhood associations. As you'd expect, they tend to be organised at the very local level—so Hitachi is likely to be a small district within a larger city, rather than (say) the city of Hitachi in Ibaraki Prefecture.

his city has a name guys i can't believe it lmao

the coup de grace

But there's one question I think really puts the nail in the coffin here: WTF was Shido doing in the middle of nowhere?

It's totally plausible that Joker came from a remote farm in the country, or a tiny village in far northern Honshu. But what is there in that to attract Shido? Like... Shido seems kind of an indoor guy, y'know?

He goes where his business is. He goes where the money is. It's difficult for me to picture him going to random rural areas with nobody to schmooze, with what I'm sure he'd consider to be poor facilities and shitty hotels.

Even if he did stoop to visit somewhere like that, by the time he was on his off hours getting pissed (in both senses) and attacking women, wouldn't he have gone back to civilisation?—back to the city?

conclusion??

This place Joker is wandering after dark doesn't look like The Country. It looks quite built up. I'd say it's the centre of a regional city or large town—with those nice houses we just looked at set off in suburbs along its edge. Look at this place:

It really does look like a less cramped version of Yongen-jaya, down to the trees. I don't think they spent too long on this area, but I also don't think it's inaccurate.

By the way, that "Hometown Neighbourhood" was originally 実家近くの住宅地 jikka chikaku no juutakuchi—"residential area near home". So this is not where Joker lived with his parents; it's an area close by. Like he says, he's on his way home late.

Where was he? We never find out. He has what looks like a school bag, well before his nasty crime days. Maybe he was visiting a friend we never hear about again. Maybe he was at cram school. But he's gone to this built-up part of town to do something there.

My guess would be that he lived in some prefectural capital or other. That's why Shido is there. I'd also guess that it's one of the Kanto prefectures, since the further you go from Tokyo, the less likely it becomes that Joker would have been sent to Tokyo for his probation, whether Sojiro was a friend of a friend or not.

As ever, all of this is for information only, and if you want to do something else superior in every way, you definitely should. At the end of the day Joker's a silent protagonist player insert, who can be from absolutely anywhere and as gay as you like. Let a thousand Jokers bloom.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2024/01/17)—first posted.

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

how about A Gordon and Edward Analysis

Ooh yes… the OG dynamic! The first one, the foundation for everything!

(Unless you count “Edward and railwaymen”... or “Edward and coaches”... which, to be fair, I do…) 

These two are insane (affectionate). Hot take but this may be the saddest relationship on the N.W.R.?* They’re my two bestest boys but, man. Their dynamic is fucked. Edward and James are nothing compared to this. Gordon and Henry are healthy, relatively. 

tl;dr: They need couples counseling. 

Jobey, aren't you being a little dramatic? 

Am I? Take my hand. Let's do a close read… 

* This is going to focus on RWS (not tv series). Right now and for the rest of this post, I’m going to be talking strictly from the Wilbert books (and, thus, analyzing their relationship from the ‘20s to the ‘60s only) unless I specify otherwise 

Part 1 (this post): Gordon, what's your damage? 😭 / The Doylist Reason / Rent. Free. 

Post 2 (upcoming post, link later): Edward's Defences / Gordon's Growth

Post 3 (upcoming post, link later): Collision / Uh… Cleanup Crew?

tagging @weirdowithaquill because you asked for Edward+James and i wound up folding in most of what i have to say about them into this analysis 😅 in RWS they're a good foil for understanding Edward+Gordon

Gordon, what's your damage? 😭

There is a strong drive, right here on ttteblr, to portray how despite some notorious conflicts these two are canonically old friends. Also that maybe Gordon’s bad behavior is not so bad. 

That is a valid mission, indeed I flatter myself that I had some influence steering us down this road a few years back, however sometimes I think we're in danger of forgetting how often Gordon really has just been like… This: 

"You watch me this afternoon, little Edward," he boasted, "as I rush through with the Express; that will be a splendid sight for you." (1923) 

“I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I’ve done it!” he said proudly, and forgot all about Edward pushing behind. He didn’t wait to say “Thank you”... (1923) 

Edward puffed and pulled, and pulled and puffed, but he couldn’t move the heavy coaches. / “I told you so,” said Gordon rudely. (1923) 

So Edward found coaches for the three engines, and that day the trains ran as usual. / But when The Fat Controller came the next morning, Edward looked unhappy. / Gordon came clanking past, hissing rudely. “Bless me!” said The Fat Controller. “What a noise!” (1926-1934) *

When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted. “Fancy allowing cows to break his train! They wouldn’t dare do that to us. We’d show them!” they boasted. (1952) 

“The Fat Controller would never approve,” said Gordon loftily. “Branch Lines are vulgar.” (1965) 

Edward scolded the twins severely, but told Gordon it served him right. Gordon was furious. / A few days later, some Enthusiasts came. On their last afternoon they went to the China Clay Works. / Edward found it hard to start the heavy train… / “Just pathetic,” grunted Gordon. “He should give up and be Preserved before it’s too late.” (1965) ** 

I am sportingly not even saddling Gordon with the blame for the line "Driver won't choose you again. He wants strong engines like us." (In TTRE, this is said by the collective of big engines – although the illustrations do clearly point a finger at Gordon. Still, like I said, I'm going to be sporting. The pictures aren't canon.) Also note that in RWS Gordon doesn't say "No use at all" when he learns Edward has come to push his train; that whole bit of dialogue was something Britt and David cooked up. 

Even being as generous as possible, this still leaves us with… seven. Seven instances of Gordon taking a shot at Edward. 

That’s actually quite a… lot? 

I mean, not necessarily if we were racking up all the complaints, ranging from major to miniscule, that you’d have about someone you’d lived and worked with for over 40 years, lol. 

But we shouldn’t actually be expecting a complete inventory at all. RWS books are minimalist on detail. There's just so much less in 'em than the sprawling TVS with its 24 full series, lol. And let’s focus here on just the Wilbert canon, since that’s where all these examples of Gordon being rude to Edward come from. Seven times, in 26 books. For context, the number of times Thomas teases Gordon in this same corpus is… three. Three times. Thomas cheeking Gordon. Also kind of a fundamental dynamic. THRICE! 

Passengers saying What a Bad Railway It Was… two. Number of times Thomas and Percy squabble… three. Number of accidents that Percy gets into (and this includes the piddling stuff, like crashing into that wagon of flour that was left on the rails)… five. Reflect on that for a moment: Gordon is a dick to Edward in canon more often than Percy's had an accident. That's crazy. Indeed, there are plenty of RWS characters who are canonically friends or who shed together who don't even get to have seven shared moments. It's actually kind of a fun game, to try to think of any two of them who, like Gordon and Edward, have seven of a specific kind of interaction. Have at it! There has to be something I've missed. 

But I hope it's clear, that by the standards of these books this character dynamic is hit A LOT. You know me, I'm going to go on to contextualize a lot of these seven examples, and I'm going to play Gordon defense attorney to a certain degree, and plead mitigation. But I can't possibly explain away the sheer size of this pile of evidence. This specific dynamic is not meant to be overlooked. It's not meant to be minimized.

This is a big inescapable part of what their relationship is. 

The Doylist Reason

Now, in fairness, the meta reason this dynamic is so pervasive and repeated is that it's The Template. 

“Big braggadocious engine needs help from humble plucky little engine” was trite before The Three Railway Engines was published. This is not a slam; I’m not gonna get on another parent’s case about the story they improvised for their kid because “it relies on cliches.” But it’s just a fact: Edward and Gordon, to begin with, are simply THE foundational cliche of “anthropomorphic train” media. 

One of the reasons the RWS (and the whole subsequent TTTE juggernaut) is so successful is because it features so many creative variations on this template. Most of the relationships are just "okay so one of them is the Gordon, and one of them is the Edward, but this time there's a twist!" (This is how you get Thomas as the big breakout character – because the Thomas and Gordon variation is a lot less cliched, and a lot more fun.)

Just an observation. 

Now, Awdry did keep writing the OGs again and again and again, for a couple'a decades, and he developed them both quite a bit. So by the end of his run we do have a very elaborate Jenga tower built on this template. Loads of fun* to be had yet. So let's jump right back into analyzing this shit in-universe. 

* For certain definitions of fun 😈

Rent. Free.

The first thing I wanted you to note about Gordon’s Edward-directed crimes was that there were a lot of them. 

The second thing I want you to note is that… these are, perhaps, not all so very criminal? 

Some of it is – the group harassment about the strikebreaking and the “Just pathetic!” bit (more on both of those later). But a lot of the rest of it strikes me as more the results of being blunt or un-self-aware or even just plain boisterous than actively choosing to bully anyone. In particular, the early stuff, the Three Railway Engines stuff on which the whole foundation of their relationship is laid… 

"You watch me this afternoon, little Edward," he boasted, "as I rush through with the Express; that will be a splendid sight for you." (1923) 

Condescending. Tone-deaf. Belittling (literally). But… not actually spiteful?

“I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I’ve done it!” he said proudly, and forgot all about Edward pushing behind. He didn’t wait to say “Thank you”... (1923) 

That's not cool, but it's also not… that bad. 

At the point where The Three Railway Engines ends with the claim "all three engines are now great friends," it's like, sure. You can see that. Indeed you can see it much more easily for Gordon and Edward than you could with Gordon and Henry – Gordon's behavior toward the latter (though in a similar vein of "kick a fellow when he's down") was much more extreme, and Henry's behavior was so bizarre that you hardly know what to expect from him next. (What you don't expect is that those two will be joined at the hip for the next thirty years.) By contrast the Edward and Gordon relationship should be kinda easy, the former's really nice so the latter just has to remember some basic manners and they should be okay. Right? 

But that's not how it goes. Partly of course because Gordon has much more out-of-pocket shit in him than he ever displayed in TTRE. But I'm going to set aside some of the more severe tests that Gordon makes of these friendships till later – stuff like punishing Edward for breaking his tender engine strike and "Just pathetic!" (not to mention all the needling of Henry around the Flying Kipper accident). Setting that aside, Gordon's original sin is simply being a dumb, self-centered, out-of-touch rich jock. Yes, he’s consistently “rude,” but usually more in an ignorant, superior, “I cannot be bothered to try not/learn how to prevent myself giving offense” sort of way than an aggressive, malicious “hurting you for fun and profit” sort of way. In contrast to, say, James. Whose behavior really is consistently mean. And who is hurtful on purpose, because he’s having a bad day and tearing someone else down is how he copes. James insults; Gordon (except in those couple of asterisked cases that we’re tabling for later discussion) merely boasts. And it’s really quite interesting to me how Edward seems to have much less problem with the former than with the latter! 

Because he does have a problem with it. We know, because for most of this long list of incidents the source must be… him. 

This is a series where canonically the Author is a human “friend of the railway,” collecting and publishing these stories in order to publicize the railway to the world. This is something that really can’t be forgotten when reading these (indeed, thanks to the “Author’s Note” each time, the books will not let you forget it). The narrator is canonically a figure in this universe, and is not omniscient. 

And, when it comes to the Edward/Gordon dynamic, the Author’s point of view is consistently collapsing into Edward’s point of view. 

Certain times when the narrator editorializes about details, we can be pretty sure, are lifted straight from Edward’s take on the moment (and, if not Edward’s, then The Fat Controller’s, which to be frank is also roughly aligned): 

Edward puffed and pulled, and pulled and puffed, but he couldn’t move the heavy coaches. / “I told you so,” said Gordon rudely. (1923) 

That Gordon said that, I don’t doubt. That the adverb is necessary, or even correct? That’s… that’s interpretative. I totally understand why Edward and TFC, respectively, took it that way, but I’m not 100% convinced it was meant that way, nor that everyone else on scene regarded it as much more than Gordon glumly colour-commentating the group effort to recover from his breakdown. Is he being ‘rude’? Or is he merely too blunt for North Western sensibilities?

Anyway, even if ‘rude’ is the correct interpretation, it is again worth noting that it’s certainly not part of the narrative as Gordon would have been telling the story in the 1940s. (The 1940s! It's over twenty years later! And Edward is getting his side of the thing in fuckin' print… Big win, that.)

So, if we agree that Edward is the source the Author primarily relies on for these 2+4 scenes, what does this show us? Well, for one, I'd say it shows us that Edward may ‘forgive’ all this but he is certainly not forgetting one bit of it. Indeed the narrative’s repeated return to this dynamic almost certainly mirrors how much room Gordon’s superior attitude occupies in Edward’s headspace.

Which is kinda wild. There's no evidence Edward is petty by nature, if anything there's a lot that suggests the opposite. Gordon getting this far under his paint is… something of an achievement. 

But we can see how he managed: 

Even discounting the illustration. Even if Gordon isn’t the speaker. He was one of Them. The other big engines who tormented Edward may have been worse, were probably worse, but they are gone and Gorson remains, an eternal reminder of 1922-3. Of the primordial period when Gordon has the power, Edward doesn't. Gordon is on top of their world; Edward is left alone in a shed, cut off from all his former friends and supporters, afraid for his life, roundly denigrated by the engines he lives with, and quite possibly lost his previous job directly in favor of Gordon. Who, at best, is careless and oblivious. Who, at worst, is belittling and rude. 

Ouch. 

Gordon's arrival is still bound up, probably even the direct cause, of one of the most miserable and humiliating year of Edward's life. And – maliciously or not – everything about how Gordon conducts himself only serves to keep tearing again at that wound.  

Ouch. 

If Edward were to write off Gordin as a potential friend till the end of time, well, you know, it would be valid. Not very "wise" or anything, but it’d be understandable.

To be clear, I don't think this is what happens. I'm not going to argue that the famous line from the end of TTRE is a lie, some sort of diplomatic fiction. No, Gordon and Edward quickly make a go at genuine friendship. Indeed, throughout all this mess, even as I analyze it in excruciating detail… there's something kind of touching and weirdly wholesome about the way that they both try so hard to make it work despite the headwinds against them. Edward (and Gordon, for that matter) make sincere efforts to overcome the wounds they have inflicted on each other's egos. Kudos, lads. 

However, I also don't agree with a vast assumption on the part of many fans that Edward solves the issue by simply… rising above. Puts aside his own ego, takes a pacifist approach to all the jockeying for position, acts purely as mentor, just sits on the moral high ground and philosophically accepts everything as it is. 

This is canonically nonsense. Yes, Edward was passive in his first-ever story – he was at the end of the line; he needed someone to give him a damn break before he even had options – he doesn't actually remain passive after that, though. Indirect (he’s allergic to conflict), but not passive. We see very clearly that Edward may be judging status by a bit of a different yardstick than Gordon et. al., he doesn’t think picking up the slack on secondary or support jobs is a source of shame and his relative physical weakness drives him to find different ways to distinguish himself, but, like, when it comes to points-scoring, he’s still very much in the game. Of course his first priority is just to be wanted and useful at all, but that is not the end of it. Edward is competitive, with a proper amount of pride (“Good! Don’t let them beat you”) and he has normal engine-y desires and ambitions (“Look at me!”). ‘Course, in his case they don’t drive him to make a straight-up nuisance of himself. But, still. It matters to him that he gets to be the Smartest Engine in the Shed. It matters to him that he has nice blue wheels. It matters to him that he’s important, it matters to him that he’s respected, and he’s quite as pleased to get important jobs as any other engine (even if he doesn’t begrudge an engine who gets a jammier job than him). When canon kicks off no driver at Vicarstown has laid a claim on Edward, Topham Hatt has just succeeded some previous General Manager and shows no sign of knowing or remembering that Edward exists, and Edward has nothing – no job and no allies. It is not an accident that all three of those things change. It’s not even merely a natural karmic reward for being a nice, humble engine with a winsome smile. Edward set out to earn recognition. His main method (be helpful and reliable to others) is admirable, but it is also a means to a goal (be recognized as important and ensure he's never again stuck in the sheds). And he succeeds wildly. There’s luck there, sure - there always is, with success - but he didn’t have a lot of natural advantage at his tender, either. What I’m saying is that he’s not some innocent unworldly soul who aww-shucks’d his way into it. He meant for this to happen. He played smart and he worked hard for it – but, like, he had to know what it was he wanted. 

Am I belaboring this point? Maybe. But I feel like so many people only see Edward as nothing more than a dutiful, responsible, maybe even stuffy oldster with at most an occasional twinkle of fun in his eye and, hell, often that’s not even a big problem (though I think it sells short later characters who arrive and who are ACTUALLY more unambitious and above-it-all than Edward - for instance, I think Donald and Douglas are actually our first tender engines who show up and legitimately just never once give a shit about their status, at least not beyond the status of ‘alive’ vs. ‘dead’). But I think it IS a problem, that it does lead you wrong, when you bring that assumption to bear on Edward’s relationship with Gordon. Edward never "mentors" Gordon. It’s a fundamentally competitive relationship. Oh, maybe it shouldn’t be! It shouldn’t be, because Edward is not jealous by nature and so if Gordon were halfway chill himself it never would have been. And it shouldn’t be, because Gordon so easily outclasses Edward that there should be no reason for Gordon to ever get jealous, either. But they both manage, somehow. Edward’s not just benignly pulling a quarter out of Gordon’s ear every so often, to gently remind him that Gordon doesn’t know everything yet. He might have settled into this role, if Gordon hadn’t scared the existential shit out of him throughout the ‘20s, but Gordon did and so Edward didn’t. Edward’s in it to win it, babe! He accepts that his express days are over, but he’s not willing to be told he never again gets a cut of the cake, either – and, when Gordon snubs him, Edward is not just rising above the fray and letting it go. They’re always playing tug-of-war. 

To reiterate: I don't think Edward is faking friendship after Gordon's failed express. He's really working on it – and he might have had more success letting go of the previous wounds Gordon inflicted on his ego – if only Gordon had stopped that sort of shit, going forward! 

But that's asking too much. It's still the 1920s, baby; Gordon's gonna Gordon; so what's a little tender engine to do? 

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

I have kind of a niche Garashir fic idea I want to write but I’ve never posted anything publicly before, so I am nervous. But I can’t seem to get over the idea? You’re one of my favorite fic writers, any advice? 💕🥺

Ooooh, you gotta try to write it!!! I always love to indulge my new ideas that are driving me insane as soon as I can hehe (because part of writing often has to be done after the initial idea no longer excites you quite the same way).

I like that you said it’s a niche idea, too! I do enjoy most of the common fanon tropes and worldbuilding, but it’s always so refreshing when people add something brand new to the Garashir body of literature. And the nicher and stranger the better, in my opinion!! One thing about writing something niche is that maybe it won’t get the same amount of attention as quickly as something that has broader appeal, HOWEVER... I can tell you from experience that when your niche stuff does find its audience (which may take patience and persistence) that audience will likely go absolutely WILD for it. And I always find that very rewarding <3

Is the reason you haven't started yet because you don't quite know how to start? If that's the case, I would recommend writing an outline first. I even sometimes will outline really short oneshots lol, not because I think I really need to, but because that way i at least have a good record of my idea and ALSO because sometimes I can trick myself into just starting to write by taking notes on in outline format until I get to the part I'm REALLY excited about, at which point I realize I'm just writing full sentences instead of notes and I just let it flow from there and go back to fix the beginning later. XD You could also just try to summarize the plot for a friend, that often reveals to me where any structural issues are tripping me up, and identifies what I need to think about more before I set words down on the page.

Idk if you haven't written before or if you just haven't posted any of it, but I want you to know that a few years ago, when I was easing myself back into writing, I worked on writing like 3 or 4 different garashir fic ideas privately before I actually figured out which idea I wanted to write all the way to the end and actually post. Most of those first wips never got posted (and my wip graveyard is still massive and always growing lol) and that's for the best bc I either got bored of the idea or could not yet achieve the story in the way I wanted to. Which is NOT to tell you that this is inevitable or that you should let your inner editor shut you down, but I just want you to know that it's perfectly okay and normal to, like, have to noodle around a bit before you've written something you're happy with.

Speaking of your inner editor, you gotta tune them out while writing a first draft. Don't even worry if the sentence makes sense, just get the words out, and then get the next words out, and then the next... If there is something stopping you from writing the next sentence (a name you need to make up, or something you need to research, or uncertainty about what a character would be doing, or even if you are just blanking on a word) and you are trying to maintain a flow of writing, then write a note for yourself (e.g, "[insert title of a Cardassian novel here]" or "[Julian makes some kind of expression. Surprise? Anger? idk]" or "[synonym for sinister, bc I've used sinister three times this fic already]") and then MOVE ON. You can go back in and fill in those blanks later.

Also, I really really really really like the writing advice of thinking of your first draft as your worst draft or stupidest draft. It's so true and it helps take the pressure off. One related amazing thing about writing star trek fanfic is that if ever you begin to doubt yourself, you can just fondly think about a beloved episode of Star Trek where something very silly or buckwild happens in a very contrived way, and then remind yourself that people LOVE that episode anyway. This is a genuine way that I have reminded myself not to be so harsh on my own writing lmao.

I really working with beta readers, but I know that's not something everyone enjoys and it's def not required. Still, a beta reader can give feedback on your writing to make it clearer, and they'll likely become invested in your fic and will cheer you on, and if it’s longer than a oneshot you can have someone to talk it through with during the writing process. But it might be hard to find someone you work well with and everyone’s beta reading style is a lil different, so I recommend always being very clear about what kind of feedback you want from them (grammar/typos, plot structure, clarity, brainstorming ideas for how to fix this plothole, does this one specific line of dialogue work, etc! whatever aspects you are uncertain about and want help with for that specific fic). And you should know that it’s okay to not take someone's recommendations too, it’s ultimately your fic, so anyone giving you feedback should just be trying to help you achieve your own vision. Still, even in those cases where you don't go along exactly with their idea for what to change, knowing what parts confused them can help you figure out how to get your vision across more clearly.

If you think concrit might actually be demotivational and intimidating (totally get that, back in high school I actually solicited concrit on my fics publicly, as was the custom back then, and received some critiques from some truly well-meaning friends, and the experience STILL rattled me so bad that it turned me off writing for awhile), or if the process of finding someone to beta read sounds overwhelming, I’d recommend that you instead just find a trusted friend who is willing to read over the completed draft, with the understanding that they must simply give you a sanity check and then tell you yep that’s good! Cannot stress enough the power of encouragement and support and having someone hype you up. ^_^

If you are too nervous to post it under your own name, you can post it to the Anonymous collection on ao3. This is a reversible process, so if you want to reattach your username to your fic later then you can!

Anyway, feel free to send follow up questions about any of this or let me know if there's an aspect of writing I didn't mention that is what you're actually stuck on. I hope this helps and good luck and HAVE FUN! Have fun is actually the most important writing advice haha.

(P.S., anon, if you want me to beta read a draft of a oneshot or at least look over a chapter or two if it's multichapter, I am down to do so, just DM me. If not that's fine too, I'm just so so flattered that you reached out to me and I want to encourage you in any way I can! <3)

[johnnyutah]

happy mandy monday yall. i’m relationally challenged and i wrote a bad poem about it last night after performing at a pride event and making a gay zine for my partner and then going home and still feeling insane and comparing poems written by all the poet lovers i’ve ever had. i then had a minor medical emergency (easy to remedy in the moment, will take a LOT of $ to fix) and i couldn’t even really bring myself to care. i brought out all my childhood toys and organized and sorted them and couldn’t bring myself to throw even one of them away. i woke up at 5 am and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand and i realized it was actually clear coconut alcohol mixed with watermelon seltzer (remaining half of a drink i made myself on friday night) and i drank it anyway for breakfast. i went into work and there was a dead mouse that my coworkers were too scared to clean up so they left it for me which i thought was kind of funny in a fucked up way because i love mice and am a bleeding heart animal lover vegetarian. it’s snowing everywhere in the city rn btw. traffic is fucked and everyone is walking and driving slowly, bundled up in puffy snow suits. tonight fearing my house i braved the snow, i took myself out for a drink and read a pretty good chainshipping time loop fic and im drinking an amaretto caramel red ale and breaking dishes by rihanna is playing. my self imposed isolation is going bad still but soon i’ll be on the most expensive vacation i’ve ever taken for free. by THE OCEAN. and soon i hope to return to sawposting 24/7 and being available on discord (vital and crucial for mental health lol). i prommy. everything is going to turn around or else im gonna die. and if i die then i wont get to see my chemical romance next year and i will have made friendship bracelets for nothing. also i have been writing fanfiction for my bloody valentine (1981) to cope which im not gonna lie i know nobody is gonna read any of it but it slaps and they should. okay now they’re playing omg by usher and the bartender is singing along which is cute. did anyone else memorize this when they were a child

[megamindsecretlair]

Be My Little Darling - Chapter 7

Chapter 6 Chapter 8

Pairing: Loki x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Angst. Torture, toxic Loki, use of magic, and mentions of survivor's guilt.

Summary: Loki is the exclusive owner of the hottest club in New Asgard. Dubbed the Nine Realms, each of the nine rooms represent a different realm. You are his second in command, working the floors and ensuring everyone is having fun. When a shipment goes missing, Loki has to question the kitchen staff and get to the bottom of who's hurting the club.

Word Count: 2,607k

Masterlist

A/N: There's just something about toxic fictional characters that tears me to bits LOL. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @cantstayawaycani @braverthanthenewworld @monaeesstuff @headcannonxgalore @chaos-4baby @dayjlovesromance @soft-persephone @mybonafidefeelings

Loki could still taste Darling in his mouth and it was driving him insane. He could hardly concentrate as he walked past all of his kitchen staff. He did have the patience of a god but he wondered just what Darling was holding on to. 

If it were a matter of logic, he could present you with the facts of your attraction. As soon as you came to work for him, you drew an aura around you that captivated him. Not many people or things did. You had an easy working relationship and it was offset by your chemistry. He had backups for his arguments for why you would make a formidable pair. 

If it were a matter of emotion, he had all manners of ways to appeal to your baser instincts. You always came undone when he touched you. It seemed like you were nearly close every time. He’d take you to the precipice and something called you back. Away from him. 

He wasn’t too proud to admit that he was jealous of it. Of that secret part of you that you held so near and dear in your heart. He wanted the inside of your heart. He wanted your everything. 

The kitchen staff before him trembled and watched him with a wary eye. You hovered in the background. Pride swelled in his chest whenever he’d see you flinch and hiss from him smacking your ass. His hand twitched with the urge to do it again. But alas, more pressing matters were afoot.

“We have a saboteur,” Loki announced. No one twitched. It either wasn’t one of them or they were damn good at lying. He doubted they were that good at lying. Loki stalked back and forth like a caged tiger.

He was sick of the puzzles and games. The mishaps around his club. An attack on his club was an attack on him. He could handle it, but he didn’t want his people harmed or his money interrupted. Whoever the person was…Loki clenched his fists. Perhaps Darling wasn’t the only one wound tight. 

“The past few weeks, there have been accidents and screw ups. Kitchen fires, missing shipments. The other day, our own Angel was hurt on stage in front of witnesses. Our saboteur must be an embittered employee. Perhaps former. I should like to think I’m a fair boss,” he said.

The staff gave each other a look before bobbing their heads up and down. Some were tall, some were short. Some wore white chefs uniforms with aprons and stained kitchen towels thrown over their shoulders. Some had their sleeves rolled up, arms crossed in front of them. A few were shaking. Not from fear of guilt, it didn’t look like. 

“I’ve vetted them myself, Loki. They wouldn’t mess with the club. It’s like home to us,” you said.

“Stay out of this,” Loki demanded. He didn’t need you clouding his judgment in the moment. He needed his wits about him. 

“You. Where were you earlier?” Loki pointed to a man on the end, with short graying hair. The man startled before clearing his throat. “Prep, sir,” he said. 

“And did you see Darling this morning? Sign for the delivery?” Loki asked. 

“No, sir,” he said.

“Who did?” Loki asked. Hands tentatively wavered to the air. Loki questioned them all. They all saw you pop in and say hello. You went to the bay to sign for the shipment, you spoke with Justin, and then left. Justin delayed going outside but when he did, the shipment was gone. Poof. Vanished. 

Loki sighed as he looked at the sorry lot. His patience was precariously thin. He singled Justin out and made him stand forward, away from the others. “Tell me what happened.”

Justin wrung his hands, sweating profusely. Loki didn’t detect magic on the man. But if the saboteur flitted throughout the club undetected, it stood to reason that they’d hide in plain sight as well. Loki didn’t recognize the man from before. He was Asgardian, but was he magical? 

In starts and stops, Justin recounted what happened exactly as the others put it. Stockroom first, bar second. Loki watched Justin as he spoke. Loki huffed a laugh and looked at Justin.

“Do you take me for a fool?” Loki asked before his power unfurled and the kitchen staff behind Justin screamed out in pain. Justin whipped around as the staff were in various states of sinking to the floor. 

“No!” You rushed forward. Loki held out a hand to keep you in place while he cast illusions over the staff. Their worst nightmares were brought to life. Except for Justin. He watched in horror as they writhed.

“Do you not think I can tell when someone is lying to my face?” Loki spoke calmly, jovially as he stepped closer to Justin. He grinned at the man but it was more like a baring of teeth. 

“I swear–”

“Do not swear unless you mean it, wholeheartedly. Their suffering is on your hands,” Loki said. His voice dropped, nearly a seductive whisper. 

“Stop it!” You cried out. Loki ignored you. “If you’re going to punish anyone, punish me!” 

“Admirable, Darling. But not what I’m after.” Loki kept his eyes on Justin. “I will have the truth.” 

The kitchen staff were still screaming. They were on the floor now. Some had merely sat, staring off into space. Shock got them by now. Others were fighting it, wiggling on the ground like listless worms. Justin shook from head to foot. 

“I was in the stockroom!” Justin yelled out. “Oh gods, stop!” 

“You must think so little of your fellow coworkers,” Loki mocked with fake sympathy. 

“Loki, you bastard! Let them go,” you yelled. You pushed against his hold on you. You were a powerful sorceress in your own right, to be able to fight him off. He half wondered why you didn’t use your powers more. 

Loki ignored you. His focus was on Justin, on the way the man dripped with sweat. Whatever he was lying about, Loki would hear the truth. 

Justin sighed. “Stop it! Stop it! I was in the stock room. With…Carter,” Justin said. He hung his head with a sigh of defeat escaping him. 

“Ah,” Loki said. Asgardians didn’t care about that but this Carter person must’ve. Loki released everyone, including you, and they panted on the ground. Their screams died away. Justin looked toward who Loki assumed was Carter but the man turned away from him. 

You rounded on Loki, your earlier pain forgotten, and you pushed Loki. He was immovable. He arched a brow at you and smirked. 

“You had no right!” You yelled. “You don’t punish employees like that! Ever!” 

“I have every right!” Loki’s voice boomed and echoed in the tiled expanse of the kitchen. “I own this space, this club, the floor we walk on, and those in my employ. It’s mine!” He advanced on you, getting into your face. Not as a lover this time, but as a true god. The Prince of Asgard. The Heir of Jotunheim. No one stood in his path. No one.

“You will be left with nothing if you continue to push people around like pieces on a chess board!” You pushed him again. And again. Each time, Loki didn’t move because he didn’t want to move. He chuckled at your feeble attempts.

You slapped him. The bright sting of pain made him smile harder. “Bit harder next time, Darling,” he said.

You did slap him harder. He grabbed you by the throat and pulled you in closer. “You’re better than this, Loki,” you managed to squeeze out. 

Loki chuckled and leaned in close. His lips brushed yours. “Do not attempt to tame me,” Loki whispered. He stared into your eyes. He couldn’t decipher the emotions there but he knew desire when he saw it. 

Still, you fought him. Fought the side of you that needed release. It was beginning to irritate him. He was a god brought low by the part you refused to share. He wanted it. Like a spoiled child reaching for the last slice of cake when no one else had any. 

You were mad at him. So be it. Perhaps you’d finally let go of the control you so desperately clung to. He wanted you to yell, to scream, to punch things. You kept such a tight leash on your emotions. He wanted to pick at the threads keeping your seams together and unravel it until he got your core. 

He wanted the universe inside of you. Every star, every nebula, and every wayward black hole. He wanted your ugly, your beautiful, and your very essence. He wanted and wanted.

You pushed him away. Denied him once again. Loki moved back. 

“We will find the saboteur another way. Not like this,” you said. Your teeth were clenched and you were no longer looking at him. He stared at you until your eyes met his.

“Pray, tell me how then?” 

You didn’t have the slightest fucking clue. You weren’t a fucking detective. But it couldn’t be like this. If he tortured everyone in the club, there would be no one left who wanted to work here. This went beyond a mere occupational hazard. Despite his little tantrum, he did not have the right to treat desperate and hard working people like this. 

These people lost absolutely everything. Their home, their families, their jobs. They were in a foreign land with foreign people and customs. All they had was the club and Loki was too stupid to realize it. Or to care. 

You knew he was cruel. This wasn’t even the first time you’d seen him unleash his powers on someone. It should’ve sickened you. But nothing he did ever turned your stomach. You understood him. Sometimes, emotions were too big and too wild to contain inside. The big ones like lust, rage, euphoria were too much for one body to contain. As much as Loki wanted to project an aura of control and carefree mischief, he was still a man reaching for what everyone else was reaching for: to be understood.

“It must be together,” you said, throwing his earlier words back at him. His eyebrows raised a fraction before smirking. 

“Very well,” he said. 

You sighed. You felt like you had just defused a bomb. You turned to the kitchen staff. “Fan out. Someone saw something and there’s only so many places to hide our ale,” you said.

The staff gave Loki a wide berth as they muttered amongst themselves. You’d have to talk to them individually. Especially Justin and Carter. You had suspected but…

Justin crossed towards Carter. A human with honey-golden skin and dark hair and features. He recoiled from Justin’s touch and wiped at his eyes. You hated that Loki made Justin confess in front of everyone. Who cared if he was in the stockroom? The place was probably crawling with…unpleasant things from all the employees. It was one of the only rooms you could lock. There were no perishables inside so…

You turned to Loki who watched you, cold and calculating as always. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It would be easier if that were the case. He was the one that always riled you up and yet you were the one that always wanted to soothe him. 

You stepped closer to him. “That can’t happen again,” you said.

“You’re giving me orders?” He asked and smirked. He looked you up and down and you hated that your body reacted instantly.

“Not everything is a damn sexual innuendo. That was too far,” you said.

“Not far enough in my view. Someone is messing with my club. The list of my enemies is not short. The list of my magical enemies is even longer. We are leagues away from a lot of them but it’s not difficult to surmise this is where I am after the destruction Thanos wrought. My enemies could have been snapped or remain in their own realms but someone hates me enough to make the trek here. Instead of facing me they’re…” 

“Intentionally driving you mad?” 

Loki’s lips parted but he nodded. “As a form of…” 

“Punishment? Revenge?” 

“Both. Either.” His nostrils flared as he thought about it. “I’ve made a career of caring for nothing and no one, Darling. I got my own mother killed by being petty when I was confined. But this…this I care about. And the saboteur knows it.” 

You slipped your hand in his. He was as surprised as you were. You forced yourself to hold his hand and look into his captivating eyes. “They’re not trying to harm the place. Their tricks have been, well, petty as well. Hiding shipments, bewitching customers, sending Angel through the stage. They could’ve burned this place to the ground ten times over. They’re not going to take this from us.” Yes, you included yourself in that, don’t make a thing of it.

Loki smiled at you. An expected boyish smile that made his eyes crinkle and made you smile in return. You liked seeing that smile. And pleasure ran through you knowing that you put it there on his face. 

“Uh, the shipment is in the bay.” You looked away from Loki to see one of the dishwashers, Harry, pointing outside. You glanced at Loki who frowned.

You followed him back out into the shipping bay. Sure enough, there was the shipment. Relief passed through the kitchen staff like a tangible thing. They kept their celebrations quiet as they eyed Loki’s reaction.

Together, you walked to the shipment. There was a giant red bow on it like it was a present. You were sure that if you checked the cameras, it would have just appeared. But who? Why? What did the saboteur gain from this? To embarrass Loki?

A dark thought raced through your mind. This would be quite embarrassing. Loki never usually lost his cool or let anyone see past the facade of a devilish club owner. These mistakes and mishaps were undermining Loki’s authority. 

Fear gripped you as Loki approached the shipment. Like any good present, it came with a card. The card was long instead of wide. It was a deep, emerald green and shimmered as he flipped it back and forth. 

You approached and read it over his shoulder. All it said was “remember”. Whatever the fuck that meant. You looked at his face. He scowled at the card as if it were to blame for everything that had been going on here. He flipped it between his delicate fingers. 

“It smells faintly of magic. But I can’t place it,” he said quietly. 

You turned to the staff and discreetly waved them away. They wasted no time getting back inside and getting back to work. Once you were alone, you put your hand on his arm and turned him towards you.

“It stands to reason that whoever this is, is constantly watching and listening in. Leaving this card, they must think they’re winning,” you said.

There was no way to hide what you had puzzled out earlier, so you just told him. He showed no emotion as you told him your theory but his jaw flexed as he thought it over. 

“They want me to react, to split my attention. They will sneak in when I least expect it and strike while I’m distracted.” he said.

“Yes,” you said. 

He smiled and nodded, looking out to the setting sun. He smirked at you. Devil indeed. He held out his arm and you took it. 

“Well, then. Let’s give them a show.” 

Masterlist | Chapter 6 | Chapter 8

[squeaksinc]

2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

[imsogayyippee]

18 and 40

hi i am SO sorry ive been ignoring this ask for like a month and a half. i wasnt feeling like answering asks idk why😭

Song 18: Again by Crusher-P (sorry if this is a cover and not the person who actually made it, I've seen other versions and idk if this is the original but this is the one I listen to lol)

this is more of an alex song than a timlex one but anyways!!!!!!!!!!

"I haven't been myself lately/I don't blame you for not wanting to stay/Saying things that I don't mean, not meaning what I say" "What am I supposed to say/When I end up driving everyone away?"

pre mh alex slowly growing more like,,, aggresive or whatever because of the operator

"Cause I am on fire/A crying, burning liar/Seeing nothing/Nothing/But myself/And I'm the one with the lighter!"

self explanatory. I do feel like this kind of works as a way to show their parallels though

"God, what happened to my heart?/I'm about to fall apart/Again, again"

Alex thinking he's unfixable/incurable from what he's done. Maybe this would be post-MH and the fall apart thing is like falling apart even when he tried to better himself.

"And you're never coming back/And I'm not okay with that/And I should've never let myself get attached/Again"

I wasn't really gonna include this but since this is supposed to be about Timlex. I will. Tim and Alex separating, each going their own ways, after Alex dropped the production of MH and maybe Alex eventually thinking back on that?

"What's done is done/And nothing's gonna change/I should be moving on/But I still feel the same"

Alex forcing himself to not think about the people he's killed/what he's done.

"And it's like everyday is a fight for my life/To get some self-control/And when you've forgotten who I am/It just feels, it just feels/Like I'm nobody at all"

Again, post-MH Alex being encouraged to try and better himself (by Tim), but after what's happened, he's never gonna go back to what he was before MH. Even if Tim probably wouldn't expect this, knowing that after what they've both gone through, they probably couldn't "go back to how they were before", Alex would still think that's what Tim thought would happen.

"I found myself hitting the ground/I held my breath incase I drown"

Kind of a stretch, but it's like implied(? that the operation sickness symptoms mimic drowning, such as the coughing and stuff. I mostly got this from night mind's videos lol

"I should've known when to let go/And when to see who I was being"

Alex maybe thinking back(? to how he should've tried to get help when he noticed himself growing more paranoid, aggressive, etc because of the operator.

--

Song 40: Dead Girls by Penelope Scott

This song to me is more "Tim after MH" than anything else but yeah. It's more in here specifically for timlex because of like one line so. oopsies :3

"Sometimes I see her on the sidewalk/Biking on the wet chalk/Spelling out their names/And I feel insane/Cause I know it's just a game that I'm playing with my brain/I don't see her, but I see her/And I know it isn't real"

Tim after MH hallucinating/having nightmares about Jay/Brian/Alex.

"But I fake it anyways/Pull a smile and wave/Nod and look away/Wait for it to fade/But it happens all the time/People say it's fine/My roommate says they're killing us/But we're killing ourselves"

Him ignoring the hallucination/nightmare or maybe playing along with it(? to at least pretend that they're still alive. I know they don't really interact much in post-MH, but the roommate thing could refer to Jessica? Since it's kinda like. excluding her from "people say it's fine", which would make more sense since she actually went through MH too lol

"I'm surrounded by/Dead girls on the road/Dead girls on my phone/Dead girls, where do they go?/All of the fucking/Dead girls, all around/Dead girls in my town/Dead girls, I don't know/Dead girls, where do they go?"

"On the road" could refer to Jessica, still alive but a reminder of MH. "On my phone" well. marble hronets channel. "Where do they go?" could refer to the ark? lol

"And it'd be wrong to say I miss them/I didn't really know him/I just had a couple friends who say they knew him well/He'd seemed like something special/Really, don't they all?/I guess before you're gone, it can be kinda hard to tell"

THIS IS THE TIMLEX LINE!!!!!!!!! Tim might start feeling like he misses Alex even if (in this song's case) they didn't date before MH nor did they really know each other. He'd probably start thinking about how Alex was literally just some guy and then he had to go through something similar as Tim, but he just 'couldn't handle it well'.

"And if all you ever see are dead girls/If all you hear is terrible news/Maybe it's not all about them, the dead girls/Maybe it's more about you/The living need attention too"

In a way, this could be seen as how Alex said that Tim was the source: "if everyone around you gets operator sickness, why do you think it is?"

--

YEAH if you wanna add anything. go ahead!!!

[mellotronmkll]

Okay like idk how to explain it but I'm just so frustrated because I feel like when it comes to like ummmm realizing im autistic/unmasking its so hard for me and it feels so black and white like because I was definitely told as a kid/teenager that I was annoying repeatedly obviously and just like was bullied for being autistic and like for me I reacted by basically completely suppressing everything so much that I ended up basically becoming extremely alienated from myself and my own interests and passions and feeling very hollow for years lol because I was trying desperately to appease the people around me and be Not annoying as much as I could and obviously I hit extreme burnout and so yeah now that you know I'm recovering from that and over the last few years have finally started to unmask and actually find joy in my interests again and am working on being able to share them with other people without embarrassment it's just so frustrating because sometimes I feel like I just go too far and am just like. Super super annoying and I'm just so terrified people aren't gonna want to be around me and idk how to explain it but it's just like the fine line between masking so much that I suppress my own personality and just going full no holds barred autist on everyone and then you know being rejected because of that well it shouldn't be a fine line right like I have learned social skills I should be able to practice those while also not hiding my personality from everyone and being embarrassed by my interests. But figuring out how to do that is so hard like and it just drives me crazy because I want to be a likeable person and I don't want to be told I'm annoying and weird and rejected by everyone but if I'm being true to myself like really that's just gonna happen 😭 and there must be a happy medium but idk how to find it. Like I feel like the answer is probably a mix of. Of course I need to observe those social mores and keep practicing the social skills that are important for me to be like a good friend etc but i also need to get more okay with being a little unlikeable like people are going to think im weird and obnoxious especially neurotypical people and I have to accept that if I want to be happy but I also don't want to because I want everyone to like me. BUT like I also have to navigate like not being unintentionally rude especially to the people close to me because sometimes I suck at that. But that also doesn't mean I have to please everyone All of the time. But my brain cannot handle that nuance it's like I'm either doing one or the other and it drives me insane does this make any sense

[thatonesalmonlingnamedspike]

welcome :D

(images above is not mine, it's an art req by @pokimoko[a cool person :D]!) (i will hold onto these forever tysm dude)

(also AUDHD OCTOLING SQUID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(tw!!! I swear here(got that American and Scottish in my dumb self), if you don't like it, you should probably go!!! I don't wanna make people sad :<) 🦑 ★ this abt me temp is by @electricalstemplatesᔦꙬᔨ—!! ╰━ Name: Spike ↭ Age: not telling but here's a hint: I cannot drive a car┊🎮 Pronouns: any! she/her is preferred tho!!! ﹅ __gender: Transfem | orient: lesbian__ꕀ🏆 ✮ l [link]() 🔫➜ I (surprisingly)have a gf who likes to be called Eight/Agent 8!!!↯ . . ੭ ⁠くコ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

⁠ C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 hello, I'm Spike! you can call me Goldie if you want, too. i go by any pronouns! i have ADHD so i may forget to do things... if i do, remind me! ;-;

cake day: jan 19 :D

a furry/avian/lgbtq+ safe space! (if I ever make you feel uncomfortable, please tell me!!! I don't wanna make you feel that way!!!!)

i am opening art requests again after like 3 months lol i can draw:

pfps

ocs(that aren't complicated)

memes

reaction images

art prompts

please send asks on @askbfdicharactersorocs i wanna draw objects more

BUBBLE BLOG: @thebubblebfb

BH BLOG: @etherealhole

LIY BLOG: @liythefourbiddenexplorer

TWO BLOG: @two-integer

ROOT BEER(my objectsona) BLOG: @transfem-cowgirl-cook-rootbeer

TEA KETTLE BLOG: @caring-kettle-ii

MINECRAFT OC BLOG: @ask-chorus

ANOTHER WORLDBULDING BLOG WITH ANOTHER OBJECTSONA: @spikyhairpick

WEATHERY BLOG: @ask-weathery

FLOWEY BLOG: @floweys-save

BLOG WITH A SPECIES MADE BY A FRIEND: @purple-petals-brightzone

RANDOM LAB CREATED TREE CHILD BLOG: @acorn-askblog

HFJONE MAGAZINE AND STOCKING BLOG CO-MANAGED WITH MY FREIND: @christmazine

ANON OC: @anonice-anonymous

TEXTY BLOG: @hfjone-texty

you can also find me on: Roblox Wattpad Beta.Character.AI Scratch Reddit Twitter/X

here's Root Beer V3!

AND Golden Egg!

about the Salmonling:

ROOT BEER?!?!/!(REAL)(AT 3 AM) :000000000

nicknames:

Spike - yea sure, anybody can call me this Salmonoid - it's salmonling, but they get mixed up often so yea :) Salmonling - sure :) Golden Egg: godamnit 8 I will get you back for that (she kept calling me this when we were at a cafe and due to me having the 'ability' to get embarrased easily of a glass ant with broken legs I was a blushing mess for the rest of the time I was with her--) THING - w h y d o y o u c a l l m e t h i s Person - ok???????? Root Beer - go for it :D Spika - this one's your fault irl fren/silly Pika - other sona's name so ye :D Asteroid - old roblox name, ye :D Asriel/Alphys - my kin so ye :) legal name - big no-no >:( Any other silly little nicknames: go for it!

i'm a young artist trying to build my following on Tumblr! I draw many things, including;

-{memes(sometimes)}- -{CHANGED}- -{Bugsnax}- -{fanart(sometimes)}- -{Battle for BFDI/TPOT}- -{Mysterious Object Super Show}- -{Otherworldy Ravenous Beast}- -{Animated Inanimate Battle}- -{Open Source Objects}- -{Excellent Extraordinary Entities}- -{Beautiful Ultimate Really Never Ending Realm}- -{The Daily Object Show}- -{The Nightly Manor}- -{Inanimate Insanity Invitational}- -{and other object shows!}- -{smaller game characters}- -{splatoon}- -{transfurs}- -{My own OCS}- -{UNDERTALE}- -{Cookie Run}-

and more to come in the future! my blog is mainly for wholesome content cuz do a lot of meme/just straight up wholesome art.

i'm alright with nsfw art of my ocs although i wont draw any nsfw myself. i'm not ready yet...

my asks are always open, I would love to answer questions for you all on both accounts! :D

my account isin't that active with posts since i often forget to finish or just start another drawing...

i appreciate likes and reblogs and I would love for you all to follow me on my adventure through Tumblr! be sure to stick around for stuff like work in progress animations and artwork. <3

birthday: jan 19 :D

fav colors: 💜purple💜 💙blue💙 💖pink💖

Interests:

Object Shows

Memes

Spongebob(ik sounds generic but yea i love that show)

Pokemon

Minecraft

Splatoon

Roblox: @mayab3020

UNDERTALE

Bugsnax

Cookie Run: Kingdom

sexuallity: lesbian, objectum

kin:

Remote (Tpot/Bfb)

Asriel (UNDERTALE)

Alphys (UNDERTALE)

Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)

Teardrop(BFDI,BFB,BFDIA,TPOT)

Taco(BFB)

Taco(II)

thank you for reading :>

aughs-ajofoijeijvdv

[inscrutable-shadow]

Whumptober 2023 Day 6 - Opening Act

@whumptober-archive

Alt Prompt - Lab Rat

In at the wire, amirite? And a form experiment? During Whumptober? Less likely than you'd think! I can't put a readmore in a chat format I am so sorry hopefully the new post shortening feature is sufficient ;-;

I don't feel comfy deciding how much of the Doc's backstory is canon to FCD right now so have a new banner, I guess. They should be about nineteen here, and this is one of their first subjects. Have them being horrifying for a bit lol.

contains: gore, medical experimentation, medical malpractice, lab whump

also available on ao3!

Partial audio recording recovered from raid of former Astra Group research facility. Subject has been identified from accompanying documents as subject 003-CV. [rustling sounds, as if the recording device is being worn around the DOCTOR’s neck. their voice is louder than 003’s because of the resonance.] 003: W-What are you going to do to me? DOCTOR: (brightly) Mm, well, I was thinking, given your broad shoulders and larger than average chest cavity, that you would be an excellent subject for my experiments regarding the integration of a secondary pulmonary system into a living human. I believe I have found a pair that will quite fit you.[sound like velcro pulling and leather stretching] DOCTOR: Ah, take care when you pull at the restraints! They are quite secure. I would not want you to injure yourself. 003: Extra lungs? What do I need extra lungs for? DOCTOR: Just think of the applications! You could hold your breath for twice as long. With some additional modifications, perhaps even breathe in and out at the same time. Much more efficient. Though, well, you are unlikely to do either. I am not arrogant enough to assume that my first attempt at this procedure will be that successful. 003: So I’m going to die? DOCTOR: Like as not, yes.  003: Didn’t you take an oath or something? Do no harm? DOCTOR: Me? Oh, certainly not! Even if I were in the habit of making promises I did not intend to keep, my education was… unorthodox. Not that I truly mind spinning public falsehoods, but life is easier when you keep those to a minimum, I think. [the clinking of metal tools] DOCTOR: Plus, I believe those sorts of ethical quibbles only hold the art of medicine back. To truly drive progress forward, we must be willing to do what was previously held to be impossible. 003: Wait! Er, why are you doing this? Surely there’s some other way to- DOCTOR: Ah, I see. You are working with a faulty premise. I am not some young, idealistic doctor blinded to ethics by their drive to seek the truth. On the contrary, I do this because I love it! [DOCTOR laughs] DOCTOR: Slicing through skin, pulling apart sinew, grinding through bone, I find it all absolutely delightful. Hold still a minute, quick pinch coming… 003: (slurred) What… what’d you give me? DOCTOR: That should numb the pain and prevent you from moving. It is a little experimental thing I have been working on. We shall see if it works, no? 003: Please… no… DOCTOR: Hush, love. The less you talk, the less it will hurt. [slicing sounds. 003 screams.] DOCTOR: (gleefully) Oops. I lied. [more slicing sounds. 003 continues to wail and moan.] DOCTOR: (giggling) Pardon me a moment. Need to… step away to compose myself… Ah, this is incredible! [their voice is muffled, as if pressing a hand over their surgical mask. the laughter’s volume is unchanged.] 003: You’re insane! DOCTOR: (still laughing) Oh, certainly! Glad to see you understand! [more giggles and a few deep breaths, then the slicing sounds resume.] DOCTOR: Oh, this is my favourite part. [the whirring of a bone saw. the DOCTOR hums a folk tune, possibly ‘Daisy Daisy’. 003 screams louder than previously, but is cut off. recording ends.]

taglist: @athenswrites, @i-eat-worlds, @demondamage you seem invested in doc stuff so idk if you want to be tagged? just let me know!