#drinking and almost driving
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I earned this, lovelies.
#navybrat rambles#texas roadhouse#texas peach fuzz#so good#i almost got the hurricane margarita#i earned this#i'm not driving#are you reading my tags?#go drink some water#i have a glass right next to my drink#stay hydrated my friends
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woag. turning 21 in 21 days
#almost at the age where i can legally teach someone to drive#and legally drink i guess#erros doesnt know how to shut up
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thank you middle aged adults that know what theyre doing and genuinely want to help out of the goodness of their heart. i just got shit done that was weighing me down for ages holy shit adopt me
#d talks#man. irs so weird being an adult but also no one a decade older than you ACTUALLY thinks of you as an adult so you just kinda stumble around#like um i kinda want my hand held but also i can drive rent an apptmnt and almost drink but ignore that
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Martin Blackwood is so fucking for real because if Jon yelled at me to sit like That™️ in mag56 I too would simply do anything he asked from that point forward including admitting my application fraud.
#Jon I don’t know how to tell you this but I think this may have not helped the Martin being in love with you thing#I was driving during this section and almost choked on my drink and died. like Jesus Christ king go off#the magnus archives#TMA#Jon sims#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#mag 56#flowers listens to tma
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Thor tries to pick up the designated driver pilot role after feast parties and off-realm adventures following Loki’s death but it soon becomes apparent that the only decent pilot left on the team is Fandral and he’s insufferable if you drink excessively and don’t let him join
#Thor not tending to be in the mood to drink after Loki dies bc his emotions drop and he hates it btw#or worse his body sees it as an excuse to start feeling things and that’s almost worse#so anyway better to just avoid it for a while#so he volunteers to fly everyone back home#they all know how to pilot of course#it just becomes very clear very soon that knowing how does not make one good at it#passable sure but when everyone has a headache or is on the verge of passing out you don’t want a ride that upsets any stomaches#you don’t want people losing their balance or clutching their heads from spinning when you’re driving in a straight line back to the palace#aaaand Volstagg is throwing up over the side of the skiff. oh no not again this is unbelievable#maybe walking would be better next time#but no one wants to walk after that!!!#what if they abruptly need to use a bathroom#it’s not acceptable to use the side of a road in Asgard I think#let alone when you’re a group of prestigious warriors#of course we have members of the group with a piloting licence!!! we just WANTED to walk!!!
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i feel like this is my longest lasting hangover yet -_-
#teeth.txt#usually i feel gross in the morning and then have some food and water and maybe feel a little off but generally ok the rest of the day#but it's almost 6pm and i am still feeling it lmfao#it's not awful like it's mostly a little hangover brand nausea and brain fog#but i think probably driving for an hour and a half earlier did not help things#i did get incredibly drunk last night so i am just reaping that#with my parents too which is vaguely embarrassing. i was whiteknuckling it through the back half of the night#just like. be normal be normal be normal be normal be n#we were out at a show at a family friend's new bar which was cool but i kept getting handed tequila with modelos#notably did not buy a single drink that night
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#dealing with (technically) my mother-in-law makes me want to be single again#jesus wept#might drink tonight#she was like 'what are your 5 year plans' and i was like 'idk maybe travel the world for a bit if we can both get remote jobs.#or buy a house' and she almost laughed at the house buying one and was like 'how will u buy a house?'#idk i have ok credit and if i can save at LEAST 10k a year i will have 50k saved in 5 years and hopefully enough to buy a house?? like what#do u want me to say? she was just saying earlier how her son (maybe me by extension?) doesn't have any drive#ugh i do not know how to talk to people#this is why i needed to be born a ladybug or something instead of a human#delete later#also she does not have any retirement savings where i am trying to put away a tiny bit a month into my retirement and i am trying very hard#to be financially literate#no i am not perfect (because i was unemployed and living off savings for A WHILE) but i.... idk. i try to do better. not as hard as i shoul#maybe she wanted a more clear 'path' of where i wanted to be in 5 years?#i should have said 'i've won the house cup. i'm shaking hands with dumbledore' instead
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If America is gonna keep being focused on cars I'm gonna need us all to collectively agree not to open anything until after 10 am because most of y'all are too tired to be driving earlier than that
#driving my kids to school is an adventure every morning#saw someone almost die today so thats fun#driving tired is just as bad as drinking and driving#txt#random#driving#united states
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hiiiiii and good morning ☝️‼️
#✧ chatting !#was busy yesterday lol#I WENT TO AN ARCADE W MY FRIENDS 💯💯💯#[redacted] took a vid of me and his friend dancing at one of the machines its so bad lmfaooo 😭#we played a bunch of the rhythm game machines therw . . . i ate them up it was so fun#we also played crazy taxi ? which was so funny 😭😭😭 i was so shit at it omfggg#[redacted]'s friend was the best of us three . . . it was cool#OH and we got boba after :] i got a hello kitty drink . . . it was like strawberry + taro w heart jellies#IT WAS SO CUTE AND GOOD#i wanna get another eueeeee#theeeennnnn#i went to [redacted]'s house cause we were gonna watch his dogs but we ended up not having to bc they cldnt go outside bc of Heat#so we met up w [redacted]'s friends at another boba shop LOL#we watched them play monopoly for like 2hrs . . . . almost witnessed a lesbian breakup /sillly#theeeennnn it started storming like crazy so we didn't wanna drive so we walked over to a nearby place to get dinner while we waited out—#—the flashstorm lol#thennnnn [redacted] took me home and it was cool and fun 👍 my best buddy fr
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"can we do XYZ tomorrow?"
"we don't have any money."
"well we need to go do it anyway."
"we don't have any money."
"it's going to be $60."
miss thing w thousands in her bank account we don't LIVE like that
#we have $3 and thats life until i get more work#we cant pul $60 out of our asses like some people#drives me nuts#'im broke too :(' my card almost declined getting a drink as we walked to a boutique where you spent $300 on a whim AUGH#so frutrating trying to talk to her#my best friend is coming to hang out in 2 weeks and we have NO money set aside leave me alone 🫵👹
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theres birthdays in my family today you know what that means ☺️
#wind howls#my parents are at each others throats because my dad wants to invite his siblings over (its the twins birthdays not his own)#and my mom doesnt want to invite anyone over bc the house is a mess and so is the yard bc of construction work !#or renovations i guess. regardless its really awesome. i hate it here#and its worse bc i understanf both their points. my dad likes having an excuse to see his siblings and have fun and drink with them#and theres nothing really wrong with that ! i think if i didnt live with most my siblings id like to have a concrete excuse to see them too#but my moms point makes sense too. my dad tends to pull this kind of stuff often and suddenly#and instead of spending the time over a good couple days to make sure the house is ready to welcome guests#he tells us day of so we have to scramble like mad to make the house look presentable.#not to mention one of my uncles in particular likes to stay late and drink lots which my parents cant afford to have today#because my dad travels to peru tomorrow and they have to drive to the airport at 5 am. my uncle staying until 2 would be irresponsible#however they are both so block headed and solidly convinced that they are in the right for their own position that they just#yell at eachother instead of weighting the pros and cons like normal people would. or should rather. its fantastic.#anyway now i have to scramble to clean this stupid house just in case (although im almost certain my uncles and aunts are comin over)#sigh
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casually spiraling and dont think there's anything i can do about it at this point anymore. i wanna just give up and let myself spiral.
#something something alcohol disclaimer#what is it about depression that has a siren call no matter how well you're doing. why would i ever think it's more comfortable and safe...#been in denial for a bit now; thinking that even if i was sad i was at least dealing wtih it better than i would have in years past#that i'm just normal sad - normal ups and downs. that i was in 'control' and wouldn't fall as Low™️ as being more than 'normal sad' again#i know where things changed for me back in feb and i've been trying to 'get back to myself' since then but i keep falling flat#i've been so terrified of going back to who i was before i was doing so well and yet i feel like it's happening#i'd never done so well for so long and thought i was somewhat safe#thought i had more awareness and coping mechanisms to handle inevitable sad times in life#but almost half the year is passed now and everything is one step forward and either one or two steps back#i'm trying so hard all the time. i work hard at myself#and for what? just to get to many more nights like this where i feel like i'm not trying at all and want to let myself rot?#like the garbage i feel like i am?#i'm either spinning my wheels or getting worse. and i feel like thinking that itself is a bad sign and is hould be fighting that thought.#but it's an observation...#sometimes it's so relieving to just give up#my heart hurts and i keep getting teh anxiety tummy of constant butterflies/the sensation of zero g#every minor thing feels like the end of the world#i want to sob and drink and cvt/burn and shop and smoke weed and drive 100 mph and eat an#anyway thanks for coming to my emotional rampage if you've read this far lolz uwu#*throws self into kink for psychologically relevant catharsis & comfort*#personal
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we started the morning with a hike 🙃 this one was nowhere near as bad but. holy hell
#my hip slid out of socket idk how I made it down to the waterfall and back#we’re about to start the drive back to va now though#and if anyone gets on me for being ‘unhelpful’ or ‘lazy’ I am beating them to death with my cane#could I have not done the hike? sure but my mom and brother were guilting me about it#and when your nine year old nephew starts saying the same things they say bc he learned it from them… yeah#I almost knocked him off the cliff tho bc he kept stopping in front of me#and I was like Eli I cannot stop. I have to keep moving. if you stop in front of me I will trample you#or shove you over the side of the cliff. keep moving#I ended up drinking all his water but he drank mine so we’re even
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I have a specific type of nervous dog swag that airport guards just love 🐶✈️💕 (aka. I dropped my suitcase three times while fumbling to find my passport for the passport control unsure of where i was supposed to go and the guard led me the entire way down and pointed everything out to me jdjdjdjr)
#fanya.txt#also what do you mean ive only been here for an hr and its still almost 2hrs until my flight leaves#ive been on like 5 side quests by now#1 of them being drinking an entire redbull in 30min so i could go past the airport control and being extremely sleep deprived#i slept mb 2hrs max on my 9hr buss drive down here + lost one of my earbuds and i am max eeby
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The implications that Blade and Dan Heng remember more than they admit is driving me nuts
#Fragments and scraps#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Not just Blade's general drive but already what Kafka said about how she was going to take off his mind#the memories of Jing Yuan‚ Jingliu‚ Dan Heng *and Yingxing* made me think he remembers a lot more than he lets on#And then Todd's quest? How he is watching the High Elder statue‚ wonders if that guy was happy‚ and tells us he is 'mourning for folly'?#And that short line uttered in that precise location after this animated short seems even more meaningful#And then Dan Heng? The way he is there? The way he knows where to he at all?#And he pours the drink and it's almost a shared drink beyond time. Once again. Like they did before#Like the wish mentioned in that one leaked Imbibitor Lunae character story. He did get it. In a way. He did get it#The way Dan Heng gazes with eyes full of tenderness and sorrow also seems to imply that he remembers somewhat#Perhaps not all. Perhaps there's not even the feeling#But it feels a bit like mourning lost friends. A bit like the gaze Jing Yuan can't help but give him at times#Perhaps not a lingering feeling Dan Heng has‚ but at least the echo of a love that once was#It also felt like he was seeing them for a moment#It felt like he remembered them#'I am not him'‚ he claims‚ over and over. And he is not wrong. But it seems like the fondness Dan Feng had for his friends#transcended the barriers of death and accompanied him to his next life somewhat#And after centuries of nothingness still Dan Heng can't help but give a tender sorrowful smile to the friends that were#It's heartbreaking that something in the four of them is still mourning‚ each in their way and as they can#What is Blade's and Jingliu's drive for revenge if not that? What is Blade's 'mourning for folly' if not that?#What is Kafka unable to control Blade's mara in the Luofu if not that? What are Jing Yuan's bouts of tiredness‚ the pressure on his chest‚#the way he welcomed his old friends with a joke? What is it if not that the fact that‚ yes‚ after using them‚ but that he let them go?#What is the weight of Dan Heng's smile and his gesture pouring the drink if not that?#No wonder they can't move on if they loved each other so much it transcended duties‚ time‚ life‚ death and madness#Edit: as per Jingliu's quest this was obviously confirmed‚ especially and most intensely in Blade's case (19/10/2023)
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It's been 14 years, now...Wow....
Story time! For those who are not aware of what went down in my life 10 years ago, and even for those who were,
Here's the story:
10 years ago I was a divorced Mama, renting a room in a house with two other women, trying to juggle work and motherhood and I was pretty miserable.
I had just broken up with a guy who turned out to be a severe alcoholic. (Oh, the irony.)
I had spent the evening before hanging out with one of my best friends, laughing at the silliest things until my stomach hurt. I felt pretty good that night. I didn't get home until about 2 a.m. and I had work the next morning.
That same night someone else was up all night, not having nearly as much fun. She and her boyfriend were up all night fighting, and drinking.
At 7 a.m. I managed to get myself up and out the door. I was tired, but still happy.
The other woman would be leaving her boyfriend's house soon. Drunk, and not happy at all. She would have a bottle of wine with her.
My memories of what happened next shatter into bits and pieces.
I can remember voices, talking, being on the side of the road, arguing with the first responders about whether I was wearing a seatbelt or not. Yelling at the same first responders to call Lowe's and tell them I was going to be a little late.
I don't remember much for a while. Totally missed the helicopter ride to Christiana.
I digress. What I forgot was the part where that other woman and I met, in the middle of the road, head on.
The impact spun my van around and caused it to flip. I was partially ejected from the passenger side, partially in a ditch with the top of the passenger side on my chest.
There was a farmer who heard the collision and my screams. (I don't remember screaming, but given the situation it seems to have been an appropriate response.
He called 911 and held the van up off of me until they got there. (I would meet him a little over a year later in better circumstances.)
The time after that is kind of a blur. 3 weeks in the hospital getting pieced back together. My ankle was crushed and some of the bones decided to check out the world outside of the flesh.
My father and Step Mom came up from North Carolina and immediately jumped into cleaning up all of my loose ends and figuring out how to help me piece my life back together.
There are two metal plates and some screws in my leg, they became the plates and screws for the rest of me. I'll be eternally grateful for that.
I'll also always be grateful to my cousins who drove over as soon as they heard so the first people I could see after surgery were family. That still resounds with me, and remains an important memory in the fog.
It took 10 long months, moving to North Carolina, leaving my son here, almost losing my leg to infection, a lot of tears, a lot of laughter, and so much patience and determination.
I look back and can mark the changes in my life since then. The full extent of my injuries wouldn't be discovered for a few years. Hello head injuries and brain damage!
Yeah, I've been through a lot. Some days I struggle more than others, but I survived, and I am thriving. Although some days I can't see it, and depression doesn't just go away after you survive something like that, no matter what the movies show, but the good days outnumber the bad, and overall, I am happy, and I love my life. I'm grateful for it, and I'm grateful for the people sharing it with me. ❤
#dont drink and drive#i almost died#it was scary#0/10 would not recommend#trauma survivor#tbi#traumatic brain injury#accident
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