#drink more water (can't believe i have to remind myself of this. i'm like the biggest water drinker i know)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Taking better care of myself
I am a bit disappointed with how I've been treating myself lately. Like, I care for myself and everything in terms of hygiene, nutrition, rest, etc., but I honestly could be more responsible and conscious. For example, I'm very very behind on my chores, and they keep piling up and I'm extremely overwhelmed because I don't know where to start now. There's something to pick up and fix in every single corner of my apartment, but after I finish work I just want to savor my few hours of freedom and I start doing something else or I go out. I could maybe ask my bf to help me clean one weekend, but then again... the number of hours we have together is actually not so large, etc. Plus I'm bad at chore distribution because I'm too used to doing everything myself. But I should perhaps not overthink this.
Another issue is MY BODY! I'm staying up late, my posture is abysmal while I work, I don't stretch and other than trying to take a walk every evening I don't move much either. I try to eat balanced and healthy but I feel I've been overdoing fast food; I used to have it like once a week and lately I've been having it more often than that. I also eat snacks and sweets, and I'm noticing some weight gain that's not significant but to me it's noticeable because I'm not used to it and it's kind of throwing me off. I'm trying not to make a thing out of it and slip back into my old habits. And smoking is another enemy I'm making, although I'm trying to be aware of that and not let it grow. I used to smoke 🍃 only on weekends and maybe days off last year, but I've started to do it on weekdays now and then, and I really don't like how it's making me feel. I've been cutting back on that. Other than that there's the occasional social cigarette which I guess existed in the past too, but now that I go out more and everyone I hang out with smokes, I've started to feel the need to do it just to have something to do with my hands, or if I have a drink. AND I've also been drinking which I never do. Nothing wild, like once a week 1-2 glasses of wine, or a beer, or 1-2 shots. I only have my coworkers to blame for this because they're really heavy on the pressure, and I used to be adamant about my boundaries, but recently I feel like I won't have fun if I don't drink. Which is completely asinine. I think I need to get back into having stronger boundaries and discipline.
Some more poison I torture my body with is constant screen time. If I'm not working in front of the laptop I'm on my phone, and if I'm not on my phone I'm on my personal laptop, like right now (it's so nice to type on lol). I miss those days where I'm so caught up in stuff that I forget or don't need to check my phone all day. I haven't had one of those in a long time, but I'm planning to. Being with my boyfriend helps too. I also want to get back into reading, I've even managed to arrange all of the books I have here on a shelf on my balcony. Very soon it's going to be a whole year since I started reading a book and never finished it lmao. That saddens me a lot, but I'm determined to finish it before its 1 year anniversary.
On the positive side, the weather is getting nicer and warmer everyday, days are getting longer and I wish I could be outside all day long! I try to avoid thinking about that because I get extremely hopeless at having zero time for myself because of my job. I seriously believe it's at the root of most of the issues I described here. But I live for the warm evenings, the weekends, and summer plans!
#sooo bottom line...#stretching exercises with less sugar and fast food#drink more water (can't believe i have to remind myself of this. i'm like the biggest water drinker i know)#set firm limits on social drugs - alcohol and cigarettes#deep clean entire apartment - maybe with my boyfriend#limit screen time!#read at least 1 chapter a day#go outside more#all of this is doable because i know for sure i did it like last year and whenever i was on top of my chores#idk why i fell back so hard. probably burnout#work has been hectic and stressful lately#i don't find the same joy in my job anymore and i'm starting to really loathe it#maybe i need to stop taking it more seriously and allowing it to occupy such a large space in my mind
0 notes
Text
Hack your ADHD brain to do things
If there's a pot of dopamine at the end of a rainbow, I'd believe it because I've been searching frantically where to find this stuff. But for now, here's some ridiculous and maybe unhinged advice on how to get your silly brain to produce it itself. In my opinion, the more silly, stupid and simple it is, the better.
Side quest roulette
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7rard8ukBz/?igsh=aGxzdHNkaGl6MWxt
Tell yourself to do something that's NOT what you want to do and let the ADHD distract you down the correct rabbit hole.
Duck tape yourself to your task
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-78ilVJlyb/?igsh=am9pODRzY2xtMTY5
Duck tape yourself to your chair if you need to sit down and do homework. If you move to get up, you'll feel the gentle pressure and it'll remind you to stay focused.
Honestly, I did say some of these were out there 😜
Sing
Singing stimulates your vagus nerve which helps reduce anxiety and has numerous other mental health benefits and makes you feel good inside. Signing while doing a task is a great strategy!
Nested roulette games
The brain thrives with unpredictability and brevity. Doom scrolling is so addictive because:
Appeal - something enjoyable
Brevity - a minute reel
Unpredictability - you keep scrolling for the surprise of what's next
So use this to choose your tasks at random and only commit to doing them for a little bit. If I spin a wheel and the task is homework, spin again for a random assignment and again for what part of the assignment and set a timer for a few to 30 minutes max. Then you can do some proprioception stims like jumping jacks or twirl around to help you task change.
If your brain is chaotic, then giving it a chaotic and stimulating environment is what it needs.
Create an environment conducive to productivity
I can't be in my room, it's a mess, I don't have the energy to clean it but I need to put things away if I want to get to my desk to do work. So, instead of mixing my "lazy" and "work" environments in the same space, I'm only allowed to be messy and do fun things on the other end of the room that way my work space stays neat and tidy. It can help to have a room divider.
I focus better when I'm in work environments like school where everyone there has the same goal. So, it's my attempt to recreate the division where I associate different spaces with different tasks.
Sometimes I just get stuck but splashing cold water on my face or drinking something cold kinda zaps me out of that state and I feel alert and refreshed, ready to take on a task. You can set reminders to regularly get your cold fix to stimulate your nervous system and activate a mild stress response.
Name inanimate objects
If I name something, that automatically gives it "feelings." This is to help motivate me to take good care of things like my bedroom. If they're messy, they're sick and sad and it'd help me WANT to clean it up instead of just forcing myself to do it.
Coldness
Blanket head
For some reason, I focus better at night. So I try to recreate the same conditions by putting a blanket over my head, that way it's cozy, dim, less noisy and it's just me and my homework, nothing else.
Turn your routine into a mnemonic device
For example: Wisconsin Badgers Huddle Dramatically
Wash face
Breakfast
Homework
Dishes
The sillier the better. The idea is to make it easier to remember and make a habit of things to do.
Social media encouragement
Post your completed task in an ADHD encouragement group to get likes, positive comments or even help from others about where to start on a task.
Puppy dog eyes = YES!
Place talky buttons on the floor for your dog. Each one has a task or chore you have to do and when your dog presses one like, "Do dishes." you HAVE to obey. They're too cute to say no to and I'd do ANYTHING for them, if I'm willing to give my life for my dog, I can definitely do a few chores for her. Also, if my dog is encouraged to do this behavior with treats after I complete the task, she'll keep barking and begging and being silly and obnoxious until I do the task.
Get fictional characters to help you
Write notes to yourself about what's next to do or an upcoming appointment and sign them from "So and so." I'll listen to anyone but myself. You can even put them in a mailbox to make it more engaging.
Or use AI voices (for personal use ONLY! Voice actors are amazing people and it's mean to use their voice without permission) and a character give you your to-dos or words of encouragement.
ChatGPT scheduler
I've tried many times, but I suck at blocking out time for things. So I'll tell AI what I typically do, any goals and such and it'll give me what my week should look like.
Toy confetti and giant "pill boxes"
Create bins/cardboard boxes for each day of the week
Collect "toy confetti" (small knick knacks from diverse playsets like Legos, Barbie accessories, fidgets, small plastic dinos, Happy Meal toys etc...)
Write tasks on the toys and optionally an amount of time to set for that task
Place what needs to be done on which day in the corresponding boxes
The surprise and sensory diversity makes it fun and the boxes give it basic schedule structure.
Give yourself an important sounding title
Like, "I am the Princess! Everything I say goes!" And really get into the responsibilities inherent in your imaginary position. It can feel very empowering.
Mailbox
Set up a table or space for a box and some paper and writing utensils next to it. Optionally, have a cloud printer set up too. If someone has a chore for you to do, they can leave you a note in your box or if they have forms for you to sign, they can highlight where and leave it for you. Or if I have a note to leave for myself while I'm out of the house, I can use my phone connected to the printer, to print out the note at home (possibly placed so the paper falls into the box).
ASMR
Do your tasks slowly and listen carefully to the sounds of the tinkling silverware, tap your fingers on hard surfaces you have to wipe down...etc. It's no longer "chores" but yummy homemade ASMR.
Silly hats
Wear a silly hat for different things (like homework vs chores) so it acts as a cue to your brain to help you gear shift.
Different music genres help too.
Gentle parenting
Tell yourself, "It's OK sweetie, I know it's frustrating and you're trying your best to do the thing but you feel stuck."
Opposite action (DBT therapy)
Do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. If you're feeling sad and want to curl up alone in the dark and do depressed things, you're just going to encourage that emotion instead of doing things a non-depressed person does like go outside in the sun and talk to friends.
If you're demotivated and want to sit and doom scroll, just get up, do a power pose and start with one little thing.
Video game roleplay
Attach a controller plug to a headband and controll myself to do things.
Fictional character roleplay
Act how a character would act doing that task. Mimic their body language, tics, lingo, humor…etc.
If doing the task stresses you out too much, pretend you're summoning someone else to do it and it might as well be your favorite character.
Demon slaying
The task that you NEVER seem to be able to do is a demon that must DIE! Fuel yourself with that adrenaline! C’ause that pile of laundry is just going to mock you and your executive dysfunction indefinitely. And we can't have that, so be a hero and murder your tasks! Those stressful little burgers are going DOWN!
Exercise audio games
Using an app like Zombies, Run! or Marvel Move, get up and get going, knock out missions while getting chores done.
AI assistance
AI works as my brain, it plans everything out and I just operate as the body taking commands of what to do next.
Dog treatment
Give yourself a treat for doing basic human things.
Cleaning hacks
Everything has a colored sticker which goes in the corresponding colored drawer/box/shelf…etc.
Give everything silly names. The dingawongs go on the desk with the other dingawongs and the jigawigas go in the drawer with the other jigawigas.
Try to pick up things with robot hands (mechanical hands with string and cardboard/plastic) or your toes. It'll be so much more fun and novel!
Video + Tasker
Record vids of giving tasks and use Tasker to automatically play them at a certain time as a reminder.
Best used with smart watch (like a super spy getting a secret mission 😎)
Quests
Mystery dispensers by each task (like by the cleaning supplies) and go around doing tasks in order to get the reward.
Optional function: they have AI and you need to send a picture of the completed task (checks image date and time metadata) in order to get the prize.
Puppet/plush care
Instead of saying, “I have to do this,” it's “I have to make sure Fuzzy does this by this time because I care about her and love her.” So it uses my sense of maternal responsibility for caring for helpless creatures that can't do anything on their own.
Also, it's Jesus's love language helping others! His law is love and that's how He wants us to show it.
VR game
Highlights items to put away and where and gives cute animations and sound effects for doing the task. Like a SIM but uses augmented reality.
Virtual pet reminders
Whenever it yells at you for a specific thing like food, associate it with doing something for yourself like getting yourself food too. You can't always trust yourself to set reminders.
Audio planner A
Computer talks and says what the task is, for how long and plays specific music to mentally que that task.
Example:
7:30 AM
“Time to wake up!”
“You have an hour to get ready for the day”
Plays morning music
8:20
“10 more minutes”
8:30
“Homework time!”
“You have 30 min until a break”
Plays Lofi Hip Hop
9:00
“You can take a break now”
Has a web interface with a checklist and whenever a task is completed, it says something like, “Congratulations on completing ____!” “You���ve earned 10 virtual coins!”
Audio planner B
Same as above but a playlist of time chunks and voice clips
MP3 to-do timer
Music clips with the task as the “song title.” Selecting a random song to be played, would be the same as selecting a random task and setting a timer for it, in this case, the run time of a song.
Candy task randomizer
Take a candy/pill dispenser filled with beads with tasks written on them.
Plush task randomizer
Plush with sound module with recordings of different tasks.
Bead currency
Every task completed is worth a bead.
10 beads = 1 USD
Keep track of beads as they accumulate
Can ONLY buy something for puppies IF there's enough beads
Adulting kid’s app
In a virtual world, their parents can set up a to-do list and they have an in game calendar, bank, phone and such. They're goal is to take care of a virtual pet whose needs are very realistic: unpredictable. Anyway, to take care of a pet, you need money which is earned by completing tasks (parents and teachers can send tasks to their to do and appointments to their calendar.
They have to plan out about how much food and medicine their pet needs and spend it wisely. They get an virtual invoice/receipts.
Their pet can spontaneously get sick and they need to make an appointment with the vet and pay LOTS from savings.
Delayed gratification prize dispenser
Write tasks on paper
Add paper to jar once complete
When the jar is full/reaches a minimum weight, it’ll dispense a prize
Flower power
Write tasks on seed paper
When a task is complete, put it in a jar
The jar is filled by the end of the week and the tasks can be planted!
Egg system
Fill eggs with different tasks related to homework or free/break time. And set a timer to complete the task on the egg I picked.
For free time, instead of picking up my phone and waste time, I pick up an egg. This way, I can do things I’ve always wanted to do but never do because I’d rather sit and do nothing.
Also, keeping a strict schedule is hard, this way, it's not mindless routine, it has an element of surprise and flexibility.
Possible Motivators
Throughout all species throughout the world and time, necessity has been the driving force and the reward: life and continued existence, food and health. They’d literally die without the skills they acquired from their parents, sometimes horribly. There's no, “If I want to get distracted and not do this thing, there's no consequences, I’ll still live just fine.”
I suppose drastic stakes are super effective.
Also, like the Bluey episode, “Duck cake,” even when Bluey got things she liked and enjoyed for cleaning up, they didn't fulfill her as much as cleaning up to please her parents and make them happy. So, doing things for the good of helping others is also a strong motivator. If we always live for the things that please us, for the things we want, we’ll never be truly happy.
Or Tiana in The Princess and the Frog, she had a dream she wanted SO desperately, she worked hard every day for years for it, never once taking her eyes off the prize. What dream do you have?
Make other things just as or more enjoyable than my bad habits.
Find something or someone to live for (for me, it's my dog's). It's different when you take care of someone you love because you would do anything for them. They're ALIVE, they have feelings and it makes you care about them.
Or if not, pretend you have a little kid to take care of and they follow you around everywhere and watch what you do. You'd want to make sure you're always setting a good example and demonstrating healthy habits.
Though it's probably not the healthiest, nothing kicks me into high gear like being frustrated/angry. I get an "I can fight everyone!" mentality and end up taking it out on chores and doing things. At least I'm not too irritable and it's constructive.
#adhd#actually autistic#executive dysfunction#adhd paralysis#neurodivergent#adhd hacks#adult adhd#adhd help
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
I NEED YOUR HELP- lol- sorry that’s such an interesting way to start an ask ‘I NeEd YoUR HelP?!?’ Haha- anyway- I’m thinking about writing a Stanley x reader! Kinda like what you’re doing but different- now I would totally give you more info on that except like- then it would give it away lol. All I really need help with is A.) how do you write Stanley as well as you do?! And B.) how do you normally start a story- I’ve been having a hard time with intros lately.
Also! you don’t have to help me out! Don’t feel pressured! I’m just asking bc I love your snapshots I think they are literally the bestest!! And I wanna be able to help readers feel that way when I write too!! I hope you are still taking care of yourself! Drink lots of water! Eat lots of snap peas! (They are the BEST-) and most importantly sleep well! I know you’re busy so make sure you take time for you! Have a safe and successful move too!
HI! HELLO! I'm so sorry I couldn't answer you right away, one bc I was so busy up until LEGIT JUST THIS VERY MOMENT, and two because I want to help anyway I can, and want my answer to actually be fleshed out!
Firstly, omg so sweet of you that you want my help <3 I'm so happy you reached out and SUPER excited to give you some insight! I encourage anyone who wants to write TO write, it's a great creative outlet (and also I love any and all Stan content hehe)- so:
A.) i. Stanley is based in my head off of my own fantastical characterization of him (which I'll get to in a moment), and also the character we know from the actual show OBVIOUSLY. I started by, of course, rewatching the show. Because I wanted to, and to also take note of his character in each episode. This consisted of getting some basic information about him from anything from his fear of heights to his terrible (great) sense of humor. The clear drive from Stanley is his deep love of family, and general familial bonds (Soos and Wendy). He takes "odd ones out" under his wing on the regular, because HE is an odd one out. People who don't ordinarily fit in are his bread and butter (and also his general sales pitch). He appreciates the oddities in people, in contrast to his brothers interest in ACTUAL oddities. He goes out of his way to keep these bonds, especially with these kids he's not-so-randomly taken under his wing (that he more than likely took in for the summer, trying to reconnect with family and therefore Ford in anyway he could). This tells me he's also a caring man, a weirdly desperate man, and more considerate than people on a surface level may give him credit for. Now this characterization maayyyy be a stretch but that's where the fun comes in!! YOU get to interpret these little things in any way you like, maybe he has a weird relationship with tangerines, maybe he can't keep eye contact on a date for a particular reason- and those situations can just flesh him out more!
ii. NOW the ""romantic"" side of things are of course skimmed from the romance I know from other media (and of course my own lovelife). I take this characterization of him, and find another characters I know and love to MAKE writing him in these situations easier- seeing as we do never see him IN these actual romantic stations (outside of the dating sim and that one failed date- WHICH can also play a role in how you write him romantically!) Stan reminds me of the suaveness and shyness of men in 90's romcoms: surprisingly well-meaning but stupidly flustered. I'd say Brenden Fraiser in his early romcom's come across like this or even Bill Pullman in While You Were Sleeping. It encompasses some of what I believe Stan to be in general: weirdly shy, unable to come out with it, flippantly sweet, sarcastic, and stupidly endearing. I also get general influence from more recent reference(s), the main one being Nick Miller from New Girl. I don't think I need to explain myself with that one. ALSO if you don't understand any of these references I apologize- but I very much encourage you to find your own references in ANY form of media! I even find myself inspired by art at times!
B.) Intro's are hard!! It feels like the hardest part at times. You need to hook the reader, engage them quickly, and have them come back curious!! I will reassure you with one thing: intro's do NOT have to be long! I'd encourage you to keep the intro sweet and simple with not tooooooo many details! don't over-explain to the reader, it may discourage them from continuing (in my opinion!). I take the "shoot first and ask questions later" approach. Throw the reader into a scene giving context clues to where in the story's timeline we are being thrown into. Flash forward and then back into the future! Start on an action scene- hell have the opening scene being two significant characters meeting! it's completely up to you, but I am reassuring you it doesn't have to be long, and DON'T make it too complicated! Complicate things later, grab the reader in the first chapter, and then explain some things later on! Let me also assure you: you do NOT have to write your story backwards, and you don't have to have a finite and "final" story ready to go. Have point A be the beginning and point B be the end and YOU make the trail from A to B!
And above all HAVE FUN!
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
welcome to DADWC! how do you feel about Cal x Fenris for "his dark eyes took me in, and I wondered what they would look like if he fell in love"?
Hey, thanks for the @dadrunkwriting prompt! I felt this was the perfect excuse to write Cal Being An Idiot.
WC: ~1000
One night, all three of them ended up sitting down at the docks with a half-full bottle of rum that Isabela had swiped on their way out of The Hanged Man. Cal was the one who was supposed to be watching the bar, but she’d stolen him too. With the card game finished, Fenris had followed on his own accord. She’d ordered their boots off and they dangled their feet over the edge of the broken pier, toes kissing the black water. The sea was no cooler than the air, which was as thick and sweet as the drink.
After a time, Cal and Isabela tried stargazing through the smear of foundry smoke. The shape of a particular group of stars got them arguing, as much as they ever argued.
"Canary, do you even know what a woman looks like?"
"I just don't think that's what it is - really."
"Fenris," Isabela drew herself up and pulled her hair away from where it had stuck on the back of her neck. "Tell us - do you see a lady of the evening?"
Cal took a long sip from the rum bottle, wondering how it happened that he was always between the two of them.
Fenris’ eyes flicked across to her. "Only one."
“Shame. She's quite a looker up there,” Isabela shrugged and took the bottle from Cal for a last gulping drink, then put it back in his hands so she could stand.
"Now, I'm off to find someone who doesn’t need a reminder of what a woman looks like."
“Good luck,” Cal said.
"Don't get too hot under all that armor," Isabela chimed back. Through the warm haze of rum, he didn't understand why she looked at him when she was speaking to Fenris. Cal was only in his shirtsleeves. Before he could think to ask her, she tucked her boots beneath her arm and strutted down the dock and off into the dark.
They watched her go in silence. Cal handed Fenris the rum, expecting him to take it and make a quick departure himself, then lay back into the space Isabela had left behind. The rough wood felt good against his sore back and he wanted to rest a moment longer in the open air.
To his surprise, Fenris leaned back on a hand and kept his feet over the water. Outside of Hawke’s study for Fenris’ lessons, it was rare for the two to be alone together.
“I think that’s a bit of Bellitanus,” he said to fill the strange space usually full of books and chalk. “You know, the maiden. But I think she wears clothes. The Oak should be next to her – my friend told me it’s really a sign of Andriul. The goddess of the hunt.”
Fenris did nothing to acknowledge his prattling, so Cal folded his hands on his chest and said nothing more. The waves rippled beneath them.
Cal had long ago decided that denying Fenris’ looks was like denying the sun in the sky; he might as well enjoy the warmth of both from a distance. Now the sun had set and Fenris was still shining. Looking up, Cal watched the shadows play on the proud arch of his brow, along the curve of his jaw, and down the long lines of his neck. His eyes went to his mouth on the rim of the bottle, noticing the sheen of sweat on his upper lip.
"That -” Fenris interrupted Cal’s daze by pointing a finger at the sky. “- is the red jewel of Minrathous. I knew I was headed away from Tevinter when it was at my back. I had hoped that one night I would look up and it would be gone."
Cal squinted up at the star.
"Maybe it's watching over you."
"Not likely."
"I can't believe you made it all this way." Cal swallowed. "I mean, I can, actually."
"It was difficult." Fenris made the admission slowly. "Some days I have trouble believing it myself."
"Having to watch out for yourself all the time. It's hard." The words sound hollow and dull, like hitting a half full jug; both too much and not enough to ring true. He was surprised when Fenris’ answer was prompt.
“It’s the second rule of survival.”
“You have -” It took two tries for Cal to sit up. "You have rules?"
"Yes.” Fenris sounded annoyed, but Cal saw some satisfaction in the tilt of his chin. When Fenris passed the bottle back, he took it with both hands and a grin.
"What are they? What's the first - the most important?"
Cal hadn’t realized how close they were until Fenris turned his eyes on him. In the night, his green eyes had turned as black as the sea. The darkness made them look soft, and he wondered what it would be like if they were that way in the daylight.
"Sorry," Cal ducked his head away to the safety of the rum bottle. There wasn't much left. "You don't have to tell me that."
They sat in silence again, longer this time. A breeze picked up across the harbor, and though it was still as hot as breath, it stung of fresh salt. Cal gave Fenris the last drink.
"My first rule of survival is to always have an extra pair of socks," he offered eventually.
"Oh? That is mine as well."
"Really?"
Fenris looked down at his bare feet, only ever wrapped in the traditional elven style, and stretched his toes. "I like knit stockings best."
Cal let his head fall back and he laughed until he wheezed. Fenris joined him with only a smile, laughter held in the lines around his eyes, but the stars seemed a little brighter to Cal then.
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you have any study tips for people who find it hard to concentrate for long periods of time, or just struggle to even sit down and focus?
Hi! I'm so sorry for the late answer, I've been busy with classwork, curating my schedule for the next few weeks, and just life in general.
I myself struggle to sit down and focus and have trouble concentrating for long periods of time. Everyone works differently and some things may not be helpful to everyone, just a disclaimer!
Something I do that really helps me is to have a set "ritual" I do every time I need to or at least know I need to do school work or productive things that I personally want to do.
My current "ritual" includes the following, in order:
Make a cup of my preferred drink (currently iced coffee with one sweet n low and French vanilla creamer) + grab a glass or bottle of water
Set out all my necessary materiales (studying ex: textbooks, stationary, technology, planner, etc)
Take a deep breath
Write out a todo list that is managable for what I want/need to accomplish
Flick on my desk lamp
Begin the first step for the first talk (open textbook, go to website, write out note title, etc)
My brain got into the habit of "lamp flicks on, sip of coffee, time to work" and it became very automated.
Lately, I've tried to spread out my necessary tasks out throughout a week (within necessary due dates) with daily planning for flexibility of my schedule and whatever things pop up. I believe being flexible with scheduling tasks helps a lot because sometimes I have more energy on some days than others, and other times, I need to allocate energy to other priorities.
For concentrating for long periods of time, I try to figure out my limits, and do whatever I can to work with myself and not against myself. I have severe unmedicated ADHD (as well as other things mentally) and I've learned to listen to my brain and body as best I can.
I can not concentrate if my phone is not near me or within eyesight when I study. I will be too preoccupied thinking about my phone and any missed notifications if I can't see my phone. Answering texts and calls while doing homework does not interfere with my productivity as it takes me a few seconds to type out a message and hit send or answer a call and listen/explain that I'm busy. (it's usually my dad who calls me, and I have no problem stopping my work to talk to my dad).
I need caffiene to give me that push to start. Once I taste my coffee, I know it's time to crack down on my assignments and start focusing on my work.
Background noise!! Very rarely can I listen to music when working at home, so I usually have a comfort show or some youtube video playing in the background while I do work. When I'm on campus, I listen to a specific playlist while doing schoolwork, usually more mellow music like Lana Del Ray, The Neighborhood, Chase Atlantic, MARINA, Mitski, Arctic Monkeys, Mother Mother, Cigarettes After Sex, beebadoobee, Taylor Swift etc. I normally listen to K-pop, but my favorite songs are too upbeat for getting work done.
I try not to watch the clock or set a timer because I never really know how long some assignments will take and if I'm watching the time pass I tend to get anxious and then my mind will wander from the task at hand.
Water!! I have to remind myself all the time, but having water at my desk or study area keeps me hydrated, which keeps me focused and awake.
I try not to eat big meals right before I do work. If I do eat something substantial before I need to work, I always wait 30 to 60 minutes so I can perk back up and properly focus on my work.
Never push past my physical energy limits. If I'm falling asleep at my desk, if I'm yawning uncontrollably, if my body feels heavy with fatigue, I will not push myself past exhaustion as that is no longer healthily productive.
Sleep is a priority!! If I'm sleepy and tired and groggy, I can't work properly. When I'm low on sleep, I also tend to over do the caffiene and overeat, which makes me both uncontrollably anxious and shaky while also making me more lethargic, thus inhibiting my work ability.
Listening to my body and learning how I work best has been the most helpful in my concentration and productivity abilities. I know when I'm feeling off, how to determine what I need in order to feel more regulated and functional. Good, healthy habits and a little self intuition go a long way for me.
I hope this was helpful in some way. I didn't want to give generic or basic tips because this is not a one size fits all topic. I'm open to any other questions!!
Til next time, lovelies!! 🩷
#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#self care#self development#self love#wonyoungism#health & fitness#it girl#mental health#physical health#study aesthetic#studyblr#dream girl#high value woman#vanilla girl#girly stuff#clean girl#coquettecore#college studyblr#college#productivity#school#study blog#student life#that girl energy#that girl#kpop#self care tips#self improvement#student
51 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm relapsing. The worst is that I am actively making choices that are leading to self destruction. It's like I can see myself from the outside and do all these stupid things fully knowing it's not good, but I still let it happen.
I'm searching for th-nspø a lot, and I let myself get triggered by emaciated and dying body, consumed by jealousy. I think ultimately, I just want to exist less. I struggle a lot with self worth and self love, and feel like I don't deserve anything.
It's a problem that is getting heavy: I ask the permission for everything as if I was not capable or worthy of taking decisions or being my own person (asking if I can drink, look at something, go in my room, go to the toilets...). And I only feel relaxed or at least at peace when I self destruct (exhausting myself by exercising, restricting my food intake...)
I started taking bodychecks pictures again yesterday and making a bunch of rules I have to follow in my notes (such as walking several hours a day, drinking a lot of water when I'm hungry, exercise more....).
Relapsing feels like coming home, even tho the home isn't safe or peaceful, it's still home. It's is comforting and reassuring even if I'm ashamed to admit that I long for this control. I seem to not be able to find the strenght to even WANT or DECIDE to recover, despite ongoing health problems caused by my ed (acidic reflux, pains in articulation and muscles, loss of teeth, non functionning immunitary system, nauseas, dizziness...).
How do I find a reason or the strenght to recover ? I feel like it's not worth it and it's much easier to slip back into what I know and do best.
Anon, I know it's taken me a while to get to this ask, but I am glad you felt you were able to honestly share all of this. I believe you're not alone in feeling that way, especially when you say that relapsing feels like coming home, that the disordered behaviors are the only thing that help you feel right.
I think I get it. If you were suffering for a long time, even before you had an eating disorder, you're very used to suffering and being unwell. It's hard to work toward the feeling of actually having long-lasting wellness when you don't even remember what that wellness feels like.
I think right now, just try and keep taking things in baby steps, even if you do have backslides sometimes. Try and be gentle with yourself, and remind yourself that by even thinking of trying to heal, you're doing something really hard and revolutionary for yourself.
It's hard to fight for wellness when you feel you don't deserve it. What can you do to fight for that feeling? What can you do to reinforce feelings of wellness and worth? Can you maybe take a little time to take a hot bath, make yourself a cup of tea, buy yourself a small treat?
Perhaps when you're craving to self-destruct the most, try to maintain neutrality rather than focusing on levels of wellness that feel unattainable. So if you can't feel good about your body, maybe refrain from looking up thinspo or doing those body-check pics. When the urge has passed - and it will pass, even if it comes back - remember to praise yourself genuinely for your efforts. If you do backslide, respond with kindness to yourself. Speaking to yourself like you're just a person who's having a hard time and deserves compassion might be foundational. Perhaps you could write down something kind that you would say to a dear friend who was in your situation, and then practice saying all that to yourself? You've got to reaffirm your worth to be able to treat yourself like you honestly deserve wellness - and you do, whether you're able to believe that right now or not.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rather I eat or not my body ends up punishing me because if I b1ng3 I'm anxious, miserable, nauseous, and deppresed, but if I f@st I'm tired, hungry, and irritable, I remember that once I was m@lnøur1sh3d for 5 days and I kept passing out I couldn't get out of bed sometimes I'd wake up for a bit and immediately fall back asleep because my body didn't have the energy to stay awake and I'd have to fight myself just to go use the bathroom or hydrate and it was AGONIZING
No matter what I choose I'm basically shooting myself in the foot I'm trying my best but my best isn't enough I know I KNOW I've done it before successfully I was m@lnøur1sh3d for a week and a few days and I lost 35 pounds I'm terrified of getting back then later I was m@lnøur1sh3d for 5 days I was counting my calories, f@sting, restricting, but shit got tough somehow and I fucked up and ever since I've been desperately trying to get back on track I hate myself so much I hate everything about me and I always have I'd love myself so much more if I could just NOT be so ugly people tell me that's not true but honestly? I don't believe you not because think your a mean liar but because how can you mean that? I spent my entire childhood abused, bullied, and convinced daily there was something wrong with me always anxious, always insecure, I battled body dysmorphia my ENTIRE. CHILDHOOD. you can't just act sweet to me and expect to erase a lifetime of trauma
I want my body to look different
I want to be treated better
I want to find the girl in the mirror beautiful
I want to feel better
Flattery won't make the fat drop off my waistline
Whatever enough venting here's a new plan;
OMAD
Only eat; Salad, Broccoli, Cabbage, Green beans, (I only really love these foods anyways)
Electrolyte drinks
Stuff to up blood sugar
Caffeine LOTS of Caffeine
L@xátives
Melatonin
Cough syrup
Tr@madøl
If the irritability and fatigue is because of a dip in blood sugar than I should start treating myself like a diabetic and balance out my blood sugar during fasts
If the hunger is intense I should distract myself or sleep or even make myself nauseous by bloating myself with fluids
If water weight becomes a problem I need to use diuretics and L@xátives
If I can't distract myself from my hunger I need to force myself to sleep
If I can't find the energy to do anything because my body was a greedy bitch and wasted all my glucose I need to use caffeine irregardless of the calories cause I can justify the calories in my fluids as long as I don't combine it with food
Also the people in my life need to stop being my biggest OPS! like good grief they always try shoving high calorie garbage in my face and of course my hungry fucked up brain can't help but say yes like bitch I'm HUNGRY. I haven't eaten for a day in a half and here you are showing me delicious food high in calories :(
Maybe I should put a collar on myself at this point and bark like a dog cause damn I sure act like a one sometimes by rewarding myself with food
I always convince myself prior to a b1ng3 that it's okay to eat and it never was the outcome is never different so why do I keep falling victim to my own lies? I need to start reminding myself maybe I should LITERALLY set multiple alarms on my phone that go off loudly and read;
"No don't you dare eat that"
"That's not a vegetable put it down"
"Do you WANT to be fat forever?"
"It's not okay to eat that cause then your just gonna have to be miserable for HOURS back away from the food and take some melatonin"
^ that's a proven method btw I remember accidentally getting high from a Melatonin OD and a Cough syrup OD because my mom wanted dinner and I was fasting so I just tried to get exhausted so I wouldn't justify eating
It was an accident btw and I don't recommend doing what I did not only is it not safe but it's kinda scary cause at one point I remembered being genuinely unable to move I was practically paralyzed in my bed at some point zoinked out of my mind and hardly clinging onto consciousness
#ed bløg#ed account#ed active account#tw ed bløg#tw ed bllog#disordered eating cw#ed in tags#i wanna be sk1nn1#tw ed not ed sheeren#@n@ fast#ed diet plan#ed post#ed tag#ed blogg#i hate my body#i want to lose weight#ed mention#i just want to be perfect#bingedisorder#tw binging#b1ng3 purg3#tw weight#tw calories#counting calories#i just want to be thin#low cal diet#ed plan#ed vent#vent post#tw 3d vent
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello! Hope you're having a good day and that everything's going well! If it isn't too much to ask I would like to have a pairing with a Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel character, preferably male. * So a little bit about myself! My pronouns are He/They but actually like to present myself as feminine at times * Most people said that the first time they saw me they thought I was mean and actually scary and I think it was because of my stern look and whenever someone would ask me something I would give them short cold answers.. but I'm not that. I'm actually a little shy but once you know me I'm just super lively, loving to sing (even if I suck at it), always cracking a joke and just wanting to enjoy the moment. Despite all that I'm actually pretty calm at times and offer some heartfelt and harsh advice. Whenever that happens I just go full on serious mode and prefer to listen first and instead of solving the persons problems, I rather guide them in the right direction. * Likes! I love to do creative things, like writing and drawing, and to read, specially dystopian fiction. I also take a great interest in astronomy, magic things like witchcraft and bones (I can't explain it-). As for music it's basically a little bit of everything with both jazz and pop being way up. * In a relationship I prefer.. the less touching possible the better. That being said my main love languages are quality time and gift giving. Although I don't really enjoy touching, I wouldn't mind if my partner want hugs or something like that. And that's it! Sorry if it was too long and don't feel pressured to do it right away! Take your time and don't forget to drink plenty of water and rest! Hope you have a good day!
Hi hun!! Ofc!!
And finally my first Helluva req!!
And thank you sweetheart 💞 honestly i think Stolas would fit too.
I’ve decided to pair you with BLITZØ & ALASTOR!!!
Ill do Alastor first!
He’d definitely love and find you intriguing. Stone cold?
When he finds out more about you, he was honestly surprised.
Although he’d probably do duets with you, he’d LOVE to hear your jokes.
Especially if they are dad jokes cus … he is a huge dad joke.
He likes that you are able to be calm in situations, and help through situations too!
He would look to you for some advice, just to make sure he believes he’s right!
If you listen to Jazz? He’s spending all his time with you. And def listening to Jazz.
He would force you to chat about fav artists w him.
You both dislike physical touch, and he appreciates it. He would prefer acts of service and words of affirmation.
Now Blitzo!
He also presents feminine sometimes! He thinks it’d be fun to do together.
He definitely got attracted to you with that stone cold look, and short replies !! At first anyways.
Once he also gets to know you, he definitely would love to hang out with you!
Although you may not be the best singer- NEITHER IS HE!!! And he enjoys singing, or listening.
He is also always cracking jokes, so you both are cackling at EVERY MOMENT!!
He will always look to you for advice, and he doesn’t do that for anyone else either. He’s pretty reserved.
He would’ve probably confided into you about fizz, his mom, stolas and everything else at that moment in time.
Your interest in astronomy and witchcraft reminded him of Stolas, but instead of Stolas sexual nature- he has someone he really will care and show up for.
If you can draw, he will FORCE you to teach him. HE NEEDS TO DRAW HIS PONIES!! and obviously to make up for the shitty art lessons he got.
He would totally listen to your stories, because it would remind him of Millie and Moxxie, and he wants what they have.
He listens to more metally type of music, but boy will he listen to anything. Honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he started listening to country??
I also think that Blitz isn’t big on physical touch either. He would be icked out. He thinks that words of affirmation and quality time are better. He knows you’re listening to him and willing to be there!
#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#hazbin lilith#hazbin cherri bomb#hazbin nifty#hazbin vaggie#hazbin charlie#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin vox#hazbin velvette#hazbin adam#hazbin lute#hazbin sera#hazbin emily#hazbin carmilla#hazbin rosie#hazbin zestial#helluva boss#helluva stolas#helluva blitzo#helluva loona#helluva fizzarolli#helluva millie#helluva moxxie#helluva asmodeus#helluva beelzebub
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
sleep token lyric starters (pt 2)
feel free to change pronouns or adjust sentences to fit situations .
"give in to your love."
"drag me under again."
"i made loving you a blood sport."
"i'm still your favorite regret."
"you're still my weapon of choosing."
"i want to be forgiven."
"i want to choke up chunks of my own sins."
"let me pay for my arrogance."
"won't you show me your weakness?"
"call me when they bury bodies under water."
"they talk me through the damage, consequence, and how it's a pain they know they don't understand."
"weather me to notion, wash away the blood on my hands."
"did you not say we were made for each other?"
"i'll find a different harbor to lay my anchor in."
"you'll find a different way to keep from setting sail again."
"i'm still full of the love you want."
"i reach for you on faith alone."
"seems your heart is locked up and i still get the combination wrong."
"are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?"
"too many swallowed keys will make you bleed someday."
"maybe you believe that in the end, you will be better off that way?"
"won't you fall for me?"
"my insecurities surround me like lions in the den."
"i feel like i'm losing touch with what i am again."
"i remember why i cannot pretend."
"you guide me in to safety and silence."
"as you breathe me out, i drink you in."
"we go beyond the furthest reaches, where the light bends and wraps beneath us."
"i know as you collapse into me, this is the start of something."
"i still avoid my own questions."
"we both bury that history deep."
"you know i can hold my breath forever."
"you are still a perfect reminder."
"it seems my hell is your high water."
"i'll smile through the agony for you."
"i know you still bear the weight of your own existence."
"i'd give anything to borrow your indifference."
"the stories you never told to me…"
"you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood."
"you got me in a chokehold."
"i'll turn my walls to gold to bring you home again."
"take me past the edge."
"won't you show me what it's like?"
"did i mistake you for a sign from god?"
"i would be lying if i told you that i didn't wish i could be your man."
"you won't ever want to talk about it."
"i was more than a body in your passenger seat."
"you were more than just somebody i was destined to meet."
"you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave."
"you say you want me but you know i'm not what you need."
"we'd rather be six feet under than be lonely."
"putting down the roses picking up the sword."
"my past is a holy book."
"these days i'm a picture frame."
"are you in pain like i am?"
"there is always something in the way."
"i wanna have you to myself for once."
"i wanna go where nobody else will ever go."
"i'm not here to be the savior you long for, only the one you don't."
"show me what wounds you've got."
"we were not young enough to know."
"and you think i don't notice."
"standing between collapsing walls, wearing a smile like you can't bear it anymore."
"will you show me the damage?"
"how much did they hurt you?"
"how much did they break you?"
"how far did they take you?"
"you will never be the same."
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh-ho-ho It's me, May again, plopping myself down in your inbox like I own the place. Honestly I don't mind if you post them or not, it's ultimately up to you - perhaps you decide to post some, and keep others. Regardless, I'll keep bringing them to you like a crow bringing its favorite person shiny treasures. I am mildly interested to know who you think I am - though there's no need to be embarrassed if you were to get it wrong, I'm anonymous because I'm trying (kind of) to hide after all. Now, to actually get to the few things I've collected in my little notepad about what I wanted to talk about. (Yes, I have a notepad that I jot things down into so that I don't flood your inbox.) 1. I'm sure you already know this, you addressed it in your post, but I do feel like it's important to say it as well: It's okay to feel a bit panicked at first when confronted with a problem. I feel like it's only natural to feel that way, anyways. But the main thing is that it's rather impressive that you can take a step back and acknowledge that there are ways to help alleviate the problem even if you aren't able to solve it. This is something that I struggle with personally as well, and to see someone else who does, who also handles it in a beautiful way, is very motivating and reliving. It makes it feel like it isn't the end of the world even if I was panicking originally. You're doing a wonderful job at slowly pushing yourself towards making healthier choices for you, and I wanted to thank you for putting that out there for others to read, it brings inspiration even if you don't have a direction to go with it. I do wish life could have an immediate answer, though. It would be SO much easier... but of course, "It's not fun if it's easy" 2. Pomegranate honey sounds delicious, I love pomegranates, so I can only imagine pomegranate flavored honey would be amazing, and wildly superior to clove honey. 3. There's going to be more??!??!?!?!?!?!?!? I don't think I can put into words the excitement and joy that knowing that is a potential reality brings me. Perhaps you could imagine the excited sounds of a dog, amplified, mixed with various clapping noises and tapping from me stimming. But really, why in the world are you sorry?! Sorry for what? Coming back and gracing the TSP community with something as beautiful as your writing? Poppycock I say! I absolutely adore it, as you know, and honestly it's like thinking you ran out of your favorite thing and then realizing you have more of it. It brings joy! Another note: I've not been in this fandom nearly as long as you have, but I can agree with the "Welp, the Narrator has simply dragged me back into this thing and I will never escape again" cycle. I've enjoyed it, though, and I've met and discovered so so many lovely people (cough, you cough) so maybe that was his plan all along... the sneaky bastard... improving my mental health... [grumble grumble] 4. Fun fact, I was also the anon that submitted that question asking you if you thought the ocean was a soup, and I wholeheartedly agree: Soup needs to be warm. The only thing about gazpacho I like is saying the word like Puss says it in Puss in Boots. Oh, and I figured I would say, my favorite soup: It's this roasted garlic soup I made once, it was quite good. I can't recall what else was in it... other than roasted garlic... but obviously it was a soup.... Anywho, that's all I have for now. As always, please take care of yourself. Don't push yourself for something that isn't going to benefit you, and even if it has a benefit think of yourself in the long run first (is it really going to be worth it). Do something for you, and drink some water today if you haven't... and drink a little more if you have. ~ Your friend, May
hello again, may.
i'll start out small and see if i can start inching towards the truth over time. i believe you are someone i interact with in the discord DMs on a regular basis. that may not be the case, but you remind me of a good friend that i met under interesting circumstances.
i'm glad it helped. the path to better mental health is a hard one, one of the hardest paths to walk. but every small choice we make in the right direction is monumental.
2. yes, pomegranate honey is freaking delicious, but it is also hard to find. most grocery stores don't have it because it's copyrighted and is only made on one 5000 acre farm, according to the presentation i was at yesterday.
3. yes, there will be more. i'm working on a few pieces now. there will likely be a few more chapters of the human experience, and another... bonus story. which will hopefully be short and not another major undertaking dslkfjslkfjs (i realized at some point that the human experience project starts the narrator off as softer than his canon counterpart, and that i never really went into detail into how our relationship was established before he crossed over. nar will be a bit more mean in this one before he starts softening up, and closer to his canon self in terms of... pettiness. i'm aiming for that to be under ten chapters, because i just finished one 50k project and i don't think i can do it again so soon. as for my apologies, well, that's an interesting thing, isn't it? i want to move on from the narrator for complicated reasons that involve how i handle interpersonal relationships, but he keeps calling me back again and again. i'm still not done with him, and he's not letting me go despite my irritation about the whole thing.
interesting kind of soup there.
you take care of yourself too, ok? get uno reverse card(ed)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mystictober Day 22-- Doctor
The headache just won’t go away. It's been bothering Saeran for hours, and no matter what he does, it simply won't let up— he's barely gotten any work done, and he hasn't even had the energy to make his way down the hall to the toy room to let off steam on you. It goes without saying that he is beyond annoyed when he hears a knock at the door— can’t the believers just leave him alone? “What?” he demands, voice rough.
“Guess who?” The sing-song voice from the other side of the door is enough to get him scrambling across the room, ignoring the pain in his head.
“Who the hell let you out of that room?” Saeran demands. Apparently, the believers that he charged with watching your door failed to comprehend and follow the very simple instructions they were given.
“Nobody,” you assure him. You must have sneaked out, then, if you’re telling the truth— Saeran will have to increase the security by your room to make sure this doesn’t happen again. He doesn’t want to deal with you right now. “You said you weren't feeling well?” You approach him with caution, finally showing him the fear that he's been trying to elicit since the first time he went to your room. Good. You should be afraid of him.
“That's none of your business, toy,” Saeran spits.
“Can I take your temperature?” You brandish a flimsy plastic thermometer.
“Where did you even get something like this?” Saeran rips the thermometer out of your hand and tosses it across the room. Do you honestly think he's going to let you check his body temperature? Why would you even need that information, anyway? You must still be confused about your situation at Magenta, if you think he’s going to let you get away with something like that.
“I found it in the bathroom,” you explain. “Ray left all kinds of first aid stuff in there for me, but it seems like you need it more than I do right now. Cough drop?”
Saeran examines the tray in your hands, and finds, to his dismay, that you have brought the entire first aid kit, along with some food from the Mint Eye cafeteria and several bottles of water. If you got as far as the cafeteria, you probably could have escaped, so why the hell did you come back to him? Don't you have any idea what's good for you? “Who told you to go to the cafeteria?” It’s the best thing he can think of to say while he contends with the utter shock of your presence. Why the hell are you still here when you could have run away with ease?
“You never told me not to,” you point out, “Anyway, are you feeling a little bit better?”
“Who the hell are you to ask me something like that?” Saeran demands. He’s annoyed that none of his questions thus far have been answered to his satisfaction, and even more annoyed that someone like you is worried about someone like him. He can take care of himself, after all, unlike you. He doesn’t need your help. Saeran tries to knock the tray out of your hands, but you sidestep him, entering the intelligence room and setting the tray firmly on the desk.
“You kept telling me to make myself useful,” you remind him, “So that's what I'm doing. You might feel better after you drink some water.” You’re still wearing that infuriating expression of concern, with your eyebrows knit together and your lips pursed. You look ridiculous, worrying over somebody who could crush you like a bug.
“Oh, wow, what a kind prince(ss) you are,” Saeran sneers at you, flopping down into his desk chair. Mocking you makes him feel more like he’s in control, but it’s annoying that you keep making the same face. Can’t you do something more interesting? “Coming here to take care of me. Aren’t you just a saint?” He can't help but laugh at the idea of you looking after him— what could you possibly do for him that the Savior couldn't? You don’t even have the common sense to leave when you’re in danger.
Without warning, you press the back of your hand to his forehead. It feels nice and cool; for a moment, Saeran relaxes into the touch. He comes to his senses quickly, though, and before you can get too comfortable, he is grabbing you by the wrist and wrenching your hand away. You should have waited until he ordered you to do that— then, he could have let you keep your hand there. It really did feel nice. You study him with concern. “You're burning up.” You bite your lip in some combination of concentration and concern.
Saeran has heard those words before, though he can't remember where. Someone who cared said exactly that to him when he was young, after placing one small hand in the exact same spot on his forehead that you just touched. But that's impossible, Saeran reminds himself— nobody cared for him when he was young. That was why the Savior rescued him in the first place. “What are you doing to me?” He demands. Why would you make him remember something that didn't even happen?
“I'm trying to help,” you inform him, “At least try to drink some water. Your body needs fluids right now— and food, too. You might feel better if you eat, once you’re feeling up to it.”
“What are you, some kind of doctor?” Saeran has been asking questions since you got here, and the lack of answers is putting him on edge.
You just shrug, offering him a water bottle. “It can't hurt you, can it? And it might make the headache go away.” He should never have told you that his head was hurting, and he wouldn’t have, if he had known that this was how you would react.
“What do you know?” Saeran mumbles, asking yet another question. But some animal instinct deep within him seems to have other ideas, because he finds himself unscrewing the cap and indulging in a prolonged drink. It feels almost as good as your hand did on his forehead, just as cool against his chapped lips.
“Thank you,” you breathe, like he did anything for you by drinking water. How stupid can you get?
“Get out of my sight,” Saeran growls. He’s not going to let you stand around watching him with that annoying look on your face. If you want to make yourself useful, that’s fine, but even you can’t pretend there’s any use in what you’re doing now.
At least you have the sense to obey that command. “Okay,” you offer him a slight smile, eyes watery. He’s been trying to make you cry for days to no avail, but drinking water is what does it? Saeran is seriously beginning to wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Why didn’t you escape when you had the chance? Why would you take such a monumental risk to bring him things that he could have gotten for himself? “Please let me know if you need anything else. I'll sneak out again— I mean it.” You begin to collect the tray, but Saeran holds up his hand to stop you.
Like a puppet on a string, you stand still, waiting for his next command. Yes, this is how you should behave— maybe drinking water isn't so bad, if it gets you to act like this. “Leave it,” Saeran orders.
“Okay.” You sound relieved, and your smile widens, though you have no real reason to be pleased.
“Go back to your room and wait for me there,” Saeran barks. When you fail to start moving again, he raises his voice. “I said get out of my sight! Do you want to find out what happens when you don’t listen to me, prince(ss)?”
You don't even flinch. “I hope you feel better soon, Saeran.”
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The consequence of the inconsequential
You look all around you and everyone is racing ahead at breakneck speed. Kevin just got a much-coveted promotion. Sarah's fashion blog is taking off. Mike's new fitness regime really played well on his abs. There is something everyone has that you don't and you can't help but believe you're falling behind, that everybody is doing better than you, and that in the game of life, you've been cheated on by the universe; somehow, you got dealt the suckiest hand to play with. Sound familiar? I'm sure it does. Been there. Am there.
No matter how strongly I decide that I need to start working on myself, I end up falling head-first on this quest for self-improvement; as a pronounced pattern, I would give up even before I began. So many times had this happened, that I was convinced at one point that humans are by nature self-sabotaging. This was before one fine day when the Divine Revelation came to me during a hot shower that there's a chance that this inability to take action and turn my life around stems from my feeling overwhelmed at the sheer number of things I wanted to change about myself. In retrospect, that made sense. Whenever I would discover something new I needed to work on, my first reaction would be something akin to: “Yep, that's about right, sigh. Another brick on the wall, I guess,” — and those bricks stacked up to form towering wall, one that had become too formidable to look at. To go further with that metaphor, crossing that wall and expanding my horizons had become an insurmountable challenge (pun certainly intended).
What came with that knowledge was the painful recognition that I did not like who I was, and that I needed something of the scale of a house-remodel to fix myself. And what did I choose to do with that knowledge? — I drank a glass of water.
I know what you’re thinking, how does that help anything? As silly and as inconsequential as that sounds, it worked! It set the ball rolling, and contrary to the proverbial rolling stone that gathers no moss, small actions aligned in the correct direction snowballs into something massive and positively unstoppable! Let me explain how that works. The first day all that you need to do is drink enough water. This is a simple challenge; sitting next to a bottle of water would do the trick. Every once in a while your attention will be drawn towards it, you’ll be reminded of your agenda, you’ll take a sip. By the end of the day, the odds are hundred is to one that you’ll have drunk more water than you usually do and you’ll feel good about yourself. In comes the beauty of the feedback loop of accomplishment. This minor victory fuels a drive to keep going. Tomorrow, you’ll drink more water and take a ten-minute walk. Day after, you’ll drink more water, take a ten-minute walk and dust off the old gym equipment that hadn’t seen the light of day in many months. Each little step you take would invariably contribute towards the ultimate goal of attaining satisfaction in our being.
Trying to tackle this challenge head-on is setting oneself up for failure. Change doesn’t happen overnight; it takes sweat, labour and it takes its sweet time in coming to you. Instead, breaking it up into smaller sub-goals makes it actionable and each sprint up to the finish line less intimidating, drastically increasing your chances at succeeding. The glass of water is just a placeholder, you could substitute it with any other easily-achievable aims that you have in mind. All that matters is you start small and slowly build momentum to plough through the bigger, more demanding issues on the list. If you stick sincerely to this strategy, there is no force on Earth that could trip you up.
As I conclude this unsolicited soliloquy, there are two things I would want to remind the readers. First, this isn’t a magic formula that solves everything. It would demand a sizeable amount of dedication, effort and energy from you. It is also not fool-proof; there will be hitches along the road, sure as the sun. There will be set-backs, days when you go back to square one, that’s life. Before you start making faces, let me clarify, that’s not such a bad thing. When we operate under that prevision, we’re eliminating the necessity to succeed every single day; we would feel less pressured to perform and less afraid to fail. We would take it for granted that failing was a part of the process and that doesn’t imply we need to start over allowing us the liberty to resume normally next day onwards. Second, it is no lie that starting takes a lot of initiation energy, which is one of the principal reasons why we procrastinate. The metaphorical glass of water masterfully eliminates this problem. It takes little to no effort to do, nor a symbolic dawn, a new beginning. Why wait for the next day, when the next hour, next minute, next second are equally good? Thus, the readers are advised to keep this attribute in mind while picking their substitute for drinking more water (if you can think of nothing else, this itself would do just fine!).
Everyone is capable of change, believe in yourself. Start today, start now! Because the grass is greener where you water it.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just ignore the smoke and smile
Hey, so I'm trying out some OC stuff here, as well as darker content, so yeah. I don't know how regular this will be, I'm just throwing this out here to experiment. If you do not feel comfortable reading for one reason or another, I'd just skip this post.
Warnings before you proceed: mentions of self harm, referenced past sexual assault and domestic abuse, discussions of addiction. No specific scenes are described, and it actually has a lighthearted end, but it may still be uncomfortable to read. With that in mind either proceed with caution or just don't read. I'm not your mom, I can't tell you what you can or can't read. Do let me know if I missed a tag but I'm pretty sure I got everything covered.
It’s peeking around the bathroom doorway this time.
When I look up from the sink after washing my hands, I see my face in the mirror. I don’t see it, but I feel it watching me. It’s been watching me for god knows how long. It was easy to ignore when I was younger, when I was some hotshot rockstar sex god dipshit who pretended not to know any better. I tell myself I didn’t, but that looming figure tells me I did, that I should have known better and now I’m stuck with the consequences of my actions.
You missed your wrist.
There’s still a little leftover lavender soap on my arm. I run it under the cold water, rubbing it off with my calloused finger and feeling the bumps of old scars under the tattooed skin. I turn the faucet off, and I stare at my arm for a moment. I read what is written there. “Be my reminder here that I am not alone.”
Which was more uncomfortable for him to do? This one, or the head of Medusa on your shoulder, where she liked to stub out her cigarettes?
I yawn a little. Alice has been sick for a few days now, and has been very fussy as a result. We were going to have a little get together for her first birthday, but I don’t really want to make her go through all the commotion while she’s this miserable. We’ll do something small for her today, and when she’s better, we’ll get everyone together. Mom will be really happy to see her.
Has your mom seen that tattoo? She likes to look at tiktok every now and again. It’s mostly animal crossing, but since your husband is a tattoo artist, she probably gets tattoo tiktoks.
I turn around to dry my hands. It’s still behind me.
Do you think she’s seen the Medusa tiktoks? Do you think she wonders? That she worries?
I turn back to the mirror. My hair’s getting really long again, and I’m going to have to get it bleached back to white soon. I brush my bangs out of my face, and I see the silvery scarring next to my eye. A sexy little battle scar to go with these pretty green eyes of mine.
Sure, package it like that. If it makes you forget how that pretty smoker you loved so much smashed that cup into your face, go for it.
Why are you here?
I’m always here.
No, why are you here?
Like I said, I’m always here. You’re stuck with me, that’s the deal.
I never made any deals.
You did when you wanted to be a “better man.” You want to cut back on the drinking and the drugs? You do know you did all that to forget what happened, right?
The only reason that happened was because I was an addict.
Right. Do you remember how she used to bribe you with that shit? I mean, you were doing it before you even met her, but she had you wrapped around her finger when she had coke on her.
I shake my head and look for the hairbrush. It’s usually on the counter. Where is it?
Do you think your fans believed you when you talked about how you used to get nosebleeds all the time in high school? Your friends sure as fuck didn’t. It is weird that instead of calling you out, they memorized how to use narcan.
Wait, Oli might have left the brush in the bedroom.
Actually, it’s pretty fucked up how much they either ignored or completely missed. Not even just the obvious addiction problems, but just… everything about her, and how you acted around her.
I step out of the bathroom, flicking off the light as I do. I head for our bedroom next door. It’s a little messy right now, but the exhaustion of fatherhood will do that to you. I really should gather up the dirty laundry while I’m in here, even if I don’t find the brush.
She was a massive bitch, but you were thinking with your dick like you always do. Apparently that’s all she cared about. That and getting you fucking hammered on the regular. I’d ask if you remember that, but I know you don’t.
Oh, it’s on the nightstand on Oli’s side. I step forward around the bed, stepping over a stray pair of jeans to get to the brush. Oli must have used it to brush his hair while I was in the shower last night, and forgot to put it back.
It’s always right behind me. It’s breathing down my neck, and whispering in my ear. Sometimes it’s my voice, and sometimes it’s hers. Sometimes it’s just a voice, belonging to no one in particular.
It eats away at you, not knowing what happened to you. She knows something about you that you don’t. Still, you hate thinking about what you do remember, right?
I make quick work of brushing my hair. Once it’s silky smooth, I set the brush down on the table again. I bend over to pick the stray clothes up off the floor. I don’t need my husband tripping and busting his good leg, and laundry day is coming up soon.
You’re still in pain, no matter how much you pretend you aren’t. At least you could forget the world existed when you were drunk or high. At least you were only hurting yourself. Why did you give all of that up if you were going to spend the rest of your life thinking about it?
I stop when I see a little creature waddle in through the open door. She looks at me with big green eyes and smiles. She sticks her hands out as she makes her way towards me. “Up! Up!”
I set the clothes in my arms down on the bed, crouch down, and scoop her up into my arms. “Hey sweetie,” I coo, “is papa making you breakfast right now?”
“Dada up.”
“Yes, I’ve got you.” I kiss one of her chubby cheeks. “Come on, let’s go say hi to papa.”
When I carry my daughter towards the bedroom door, I still feel it staring me down, but at a distance. Once I step into the hallway and turn the corner, it’s no longer watching me like a hawk. It’s still somewhere behind me, but it always is, and I’m used to that. I don’t plan on letting it fuck up my daughter’s birthday, either, so it can stay there in the corner like a loser if it wants to. It wasn’t even invited anyways.
I yawn again, and I smell pancakes cooking in the kitchen. I’ve had my fill of misery today, it’s time to actually get on with the day now.
#oc#my writing#tw abuse#tw assault#tw s3lf harm#tw drugs#assault mention#drug abuse#tw alcohol#tw sa mention#abuse mention#cw#tw#cw abuse#sa tw#sa cw#i think that's all the tags#i'm okay#idk i felt weird about just posting this without first saying 'this isn't about me'
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey there I know I'm asking a random Tumblr writer but I saw y'all talking about studying and such,can you guys please give me advice on studying effectively? My parents don't know how to help and I'm genuinely like..dumb, but I will try my best , I am trying my best but it's just not working,I'm at the brink of giving up but I believe that I can do it but the goal is soo.far.away. , great now I'm teary eyed. Academically sexy people please help
i LOVE giving study tips <33333333 no one usually listens to me but maybe these will help you ^-^)
depending on the subject its best to have a color system with pens or markers/highlighters, keep it at 3 colors to start and then add more as you see fit YOU DON"T NEED NO FANCY MARKERS GO BUY CRAYOLA OR OFF BRAND MARKERS AINT NO ONE JUDGING YOU///ex. blue-review/exam questions you got wrong to go back and study, red- impt terms/remember this, black- examples/dates/names/lecture notes
PLEASE- write a mini review/summary of what you learned that day/ch like on a sticky note or make a journal/google doc just for reviews or even on the textbook, having smt to look back on will help refresh your memory b4 the exam VS being like me and spending a whole weekend reviewing 80 chapters but not being able to really understand it and failing my exam by a point UGH
if you fail just suck it up and keep going, i still need to remind myself this but like as long as you pass be it the lowest score possible or the highest as long as you make it by the borderline score that's all that matters
READ THE CHAPTER/MATERIAL B4HAND, omg this helped me soooooooo much and also on a sticky or separate sheet of paper/or like doodle a question mark write questions abt what you didn't understand and then see if the teacher answers them during class, if they don't ask them after class
there are no dumb questions period, its the teacher's job to help you learn as a student, say your question no matter how silly or simple bc chances are there are 5 other kids thinking the same thing, if the teacher gives you attitude abt it bc there are some that do ask the internet and others in class maybe they'll be able to help/
make a study playlist/collection, i have a youtube playlist dedicated to classical music, lofi, video game soundtracks, or chinese instrumentals to listen to while i study bc it just makes it more pleasant and my house is too noisy so i just listen to music and study
DRINK WATER!!! and snack on smt too
do yourself a favor and try the 25 min study and 5 min break method, just when you do your break actually get up and walk around or use the bathroom don't just sit there, and come back ontime
do a little tracker thingy, like make check boxes/list of what you need to do and give yourself the joy of filling in all the boxes with a check or sticker and reward youreslf afterwards
keep track of your deadlines <333 like make a reminder on your phone or sticky note it
if you geniunely can't study or feel stuck stop for the day and take a shower, go watch smt nice, play your pizza game on your phone, or eat a meal, you shouldn't be studying 24/7 you're only human
i can do more but i feel like you'll get too scared but one more impt thing is to never ever ever call yourself dumb or look down on your progress, the you you are now is completely different from january you, acknowledge what you've done and take a moment to feel proud of yourself, you did good <3
if you have any other tips and tricks that've helped you plz share in the ask box or comment on this post plz and thank you, hope this helps anon
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Got tagged on this way too many times. Thanks guys for reminding me that I am perceived. [I'm kidding, of course.]
Hi. I'm finally here. @kuro-min @jujutsustraycats @ravelroses @lakeside-paradise -- I'm really glad I could be a positive influence in your lives, in whatever minor amount. It's not really what I set out to do, I'm probably the worst person to be a role model, but if I've brought any positivity into your lives then I am happy for it.
Hm.
As for my own list.
@a-mel-tomelts -- Can you believe I only properly talked to you this year? I swear it feels like forever. I suppose I did know OF you earlier but I only count this year as our first friendship. I appreciate you, very much, SuMelre <3 You've been lovely to me, and I hope I've been good to you too. Go drink water dumdum.
To all the people in GF FC-- You have most definitely changed my life, and I could not possibly tag all of you individually. But know that I truly cherish the time we spent together, even if I am not even close to active in there anymore. And you, @someprettyname, despite my initial reluctance to joining, I'm glad you dragged me into it. I appreciate you too. You've been such a lovely friend to me, reinforcing positivity, and I thank you for it <3
To all the people I met through RP Blogs that I May or May Not have manned for a short period of time -- Thank you for giving me insight into the nature of fandom, and characters, that I would not have gained otherwise. Thank you for putting my world into perspective, and giving me much to think about. I've met many new people through it and I truly do appreciate each one of you, even if I can't quite show it as well as I'd like. I hope you're all doing well.
To all the people I met doing the Traffic Zine-- You made the experience so so enjoyable, and you're all such a talented bunch. I cannot tell you how much I valued it. It opened doors to things I would have never let myself do, and for that I cannot be more thankful.
To all the people I met after finally sharing my fanfiction, my theories and my fanart with the internet-- thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. I never knew people would like my work so much. I cannot articulate how much it means to me. Truly, you've done so much for my self esteem I could not possibly say. Every time I hear from you it makes me want to smile. And to those of you I managed to befriend after it-- you are such lovely people. Thank you for being here.
There's many more people I want to thank. I could keep going. If I start naming people individually this will never end. But know that if I talk to you regularly, as regularly as I can manage, then I appreciate you. More than I could possibly articulate. Your friendship means a lot to me.
As for the lovely, unforgettable people whom I've known for over a year-- you know exactly who you are. I don't need to even say it. <3
Open Tags. Everyone appreciate your friends RIGHT NOW.
#this is a sweet game#to all of you who tagged me-- i cannot tell you how surprised i was to see the number grow to 4. i didn't even expect 1 HAHAHAHA#but truly i am so glad that i could make an impact in your life#i hope you feel hope moving forwards in your life#<3333#tag game
62K notes
·
View notes
Text
19 aug '24 vent
i'm frustrated at the way i let myself become so consumed by the way i feel. at the same time, i'm worried about the fear and desperation clinging over my ribcage, making me nauseous whenever i notice that it's there.
a revolting body that is being cut into small and smaller chunks. i feel sick about everything and have no reason to believe i will be better in the future.
a friend of a friend posted on her story last night that she cannot stand people who only talk about themselves, despite knowing it stems from loneliness and social ineptitude. this is also something i've been thinking about a lot. i notice that i take zero to very little interest in people any more. when i speak, it comes out panicked and unfiltered. no thought goes into anything that i say, i'm just trying to pretend like i'm somebody else, a person who's liked at the table.
this leads me to default to "oh, i think that too."
"something similar happened to me,"
"that reminds me of when..."
lately i've been trying to mask it by using 'we' a lot more. it's us. you and i. please feel included, and please include me, i guess.
i can't remember if i was always like this, but at the very least i can say that it's something i've gotten worse at. here, there are days that go by where i don't talk to anyone. summer vacation was particularly bad for it, and now that i'm surrounded by new faces- the ones that remained from last semester feel particularly haunting.
i had some optimism that i could be better, and i believe i was and still can be, socially. the headspace i'm in right now, the past few days, does not lend itself to being particularly extraverted though. i want to hide in my room for the rest of the semester and i can barely leave to get water or food. i don't want to see anyone, i don't want to struggle my way through conversation right now.
i miss my friends at home and how easy it feels around them. everything here feels painful, like a presentation i am clearly. visibly underprepared for. it feels like everyone else can see it, or even sense it when i'm in the same space as them.
it's been worse since i drank too much on friday for a friends birthday. i feel so much shame and embarrassment that i'm determined only to drink what i go on holiday with my friend from home. i'm even anxious about that. i can't really enjoy socialising with new people without drinking and now i can't enjoy it with alcohol either. i guess it's one of those things you learn how to do the hard way.
for what reward, i don't know any more.
i just want to go home.
0 notes