#drill sergeant wars
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Hyrule Warriors strategy lol
Fanfic prompt: A thing I absolutely love about Hyrule warriors is how the game needs strategy and how said strategy evolves
You go from
“Please go there I will carry you there but please don’t run off”
Too
“GET OVER HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND OR ELSE…!,!”
like you end up barking orders like a literal drill sergeant
You have absolutely no faith that anyone would go where they need to
I spent more time in the menu barking orders than I did actually holding and taking over zones
Even funnier is how replaying the game absolutely makes a difference
Where in games like windwaker or twilight princess you are forced to progress slowly through the game
No matter how good you get at them you still need to wait for bosses to enter second and third phase
Or more specifically need to either tear down the barrier (or skip it but that’s hard) or turn into a hylian in both games
The only thing that changes is that you can play the game better and more reliably than before
In Hyrule warriors the learning curve makes replaying the game hilarious
Because the second you genuinely understand the strategy for the game you play it completely differently
Fighting Volga the first time is literally more about precisely mashing buttons and aiming at him every single time than anything else
I beat him in like ten seconds flat
Like from a time travel fix it perspective Hyrule warriors let’s you do everything immediately
Like imagine warriors getting sent back in time to the first ever fight in Hyrule warriors and literally the second he gets promoted he goes full drill sergeant mode on people
Where first time you learn the usefulness of dragging people to do stuff rather late
You also eventually don’t trust anyone to do stuff if you aren’t outright controlling them immediately
This time around warriors got the confidence to scream at people right after he got the promotion lol
It probably looks so funny when a near new recruit gets the audacity to threaten everyone the second he gets promoted
And then out drill sergeants a higher up and finishes missions in like half an hour the most (respect speed run )
But only because he scared everyone into obedience (like npcs run like they would die if they don’t get to the ordered position right this second)
And kept tabs on all the zones that need to be held
While also ignoring literally every enemy except the generals , redeads and other special forces (honestly redeads make NPCs a new level of ineffective… way to slow)
Only doing side missions for two seconds and then doing the main ones exclusively
And boosting moral like crazy (because of how fast you get side missions done)
You legitimately become a tank at some point in Hyrule warriors and not even replaying the entire game would balance it out
Tune and mask probably feared the captain when he went drill sergeant (and you go drill sergeant way too often in this game)
We need more drill sergeant warriors in the fandom
Because in the game nobody disobeys your orders and runs like their lives depend on it
The chain needs to experience drill sergeant warriors when fighting a boss (maybe dink)
No honor for the evil … you trap them in a corner and keep beating them into submission and don’t stop until they disintegrate
Cia didn’t even have a chance lol
We need more time travel where the character simply immediately becomes their best possible form because they simply had a growing as a person arc they could skip this time around
Arguing with that guy about stuff involving missions is probably not recommended
Time and wind just sit back and watch as warriors get into drill sergeant mode and wait till one of the links gets to do pushups
You have better luck with literally any other type of discussion but not military or mission related lol
#linked universe#lu legend#lu wind#lu time#lu four#lu warriors#lu sky#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu twilight#lu wars#lu tune#drill sergeant wars#you bark orders in Hyrule warriors WAY too often to not be a drill sergeant#time travel shenanigans#hyrule warriors characters#hyrule warriors#volga hyrule warriors#wind waker#twilight princess
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I think Orym is a fascinating character in a way that is often underappreciated, because he is fundamentally a soldier, he was trained as a soldier, and that's... not a bad thing? It has no moral indication, and certainly doesn't imply that Orym is going dark. In fact, in the current circumstances, Orym acting as a soldier is very important and may actually get them through this in one piece.
I do feel that this aspect of his character is frequently approached in the fandom as an afterthought or even swept under the rug, or flat out viewed as a flaw to be overcome (especially given the overall landscape of military conflict in the real world), but being a trained soldier is not inherently indicative of specific morality or ideology. I think it's a judgment that also gets levied against paladins, because, much like any organized forces in fantasy are equated with modern militaries, fantasy worship is equated with Christianity (sometimes in the guise of 'organized religion' with all of its problematic connotations). It's incredibly black and white, and it doesn't fundamentally make sense in much of Exandria, but in this case especially.
You cannot fundamentally map the Tempest Blades onto any real life military, because the task of the Tempest, and Ashari culture as a whole, is protection against both extraplanar threats and also the malicious or misguided intentions of those on the Material Plane trying to fuck with the elemental planes. This is distinctly different even in universe from, for instance, Caleb, who was trained as an assassin in the name of nationalism, or Yasha, who was trained to be a leader in the name of tribalism.
And these two threats that the Ashari are tasked with resisting are both frequent, credible, and existential! Failing at this task is liable to have major sweeping repercussions for the rest of Exandria! It is highly probable that a soldier with Orym's training is expected to need to make incredibly difficult decisions in defense of the common good at more than one point in their life—decisions that would make every person who laughs at the premise of the trolley problem shit their pants.
And crucially, Orym wants his friends to get out of this. He has in fact already promised his entire life to ensure that they do, because he also fundamentally needs them to be able to do what they came for, without hesitation, because the singular mandate that he has devoted himself to is protecting the Material Realm from extraplanar threats, and regardless of the fact that the rest of them do not have the same training, that is also the task that the Hells have chosen.
If Nana Morri can get the Hells out in one piece, regardless of what choices they make, then their personal risk doesn't matter. I imagine that Orym isn't going to tell them that, because given the scope of the threat, there's not necessarily a guarantee that Morri can make that happen, so the rest of the Hells have to make the choice themselves to take the risk and trust that the others have their backs. And in the end, if Orym has to live with that no matter which way fate plays out, he will. He's already had plenty of practice.
They're at war, and that's how soldiers operate. Because when they're behind enemy lines, it's the only way missions get completed and they have a chance of making it back alive.
#critical role#cr spoilers#cr meta#orym of the air ashari#honestly like. the ashari aren't even a nation let alone a state. not that that distinction means anything to most people in this fandom.#anyway I do support orym in his endeavors 😌#I hope he continues to take the drill sergeant approach cuz it slaps#I did also have war flashbacks to people calling the cobalt soul 'cops' cuz oh my god#this was for the record what made me think about WHY the scourger program was in place cuz hoooo boy
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That scene in TBB where it's like "Is there an Echo in here?" and Echo says, "Yes." [...] "I'm Echo." gave me a thought™
What if this was something that happened a lot during the clone wars because like, you can't tell me there's not at least one clone out there whose name was Wrench or Spanner or Screwdriver or something. And someone would just be "Hey, could you give me the wrench." and suddenly you're on a call with a guy called Wrench who you 1) don't know and 2) didn't ask for. And a few months latet you're best friends or something.
My point is; this is funny and it should've been something that happened like twice a day during the cw
#this also implies that there is a famous clone called Wrench#guy called sergeant drill#there was someone named toothbrush and you can't tell me I'm wrong because I'm not#the clone wars#star wars#clone wars#the bad batch#bad batch
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I was today years old when I learned that Ryder Azadi, played by Clancy Brown, also plays
Mr. Krabs- SpongeBob Squarepants
Long Feng- Avatar the Last Airbender
Drill Sergeant- Phineas and Ferb
King Fredric- Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure and Tangled the Series
Savage Oppress- The Clone Wars
#star wars#ahsoka series#star wars rebels#ryder azadi#clancy brown#voice actors#voice acting#mr. krabs#mr krabs#king frederic#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#savage opress#avatar the last airbender#long feng#phineas and ferb#drill sergeant#spongebob squarepants#star wars the clone wars#clone wars
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war media is very predictable so i always cheer when films reach certain milestones. like hey that's the 'everyone together watching a movie, preferably outdoors' scene!!
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"How are the blues?"
"A pain in my ass, every single day. No wonder Sarge took that grudge to his grave."
"If anything happens, just call me."
"We have been missing an inept medic around here."
"I know my way around a body, thank you very much!"
Sometimes memories pass down in the form of a rookie medic-in-training and the neurotic leader of a box canyon boot camp.
#doctor donut au#medic donut au#doc saved two people in his life as a medic#donut and wash#donut wasnt there#wasnt there to maybe save sarge#doc didnt make it out when he did#but he survived#doc saved two people and that matters#because maybe#just maybe#his memory can save even more#even if it's not anytime soon#donut rvb#doc rvb#docnut#im tagging it idgaf#franklin delano donut#theres no more fighting to be done#no more pointless wars for a shady organization#red and blue whats the difference#but you know what?#maybe this box canyon in the middle of nowhere can be the home that some new reject losers out there need#drill sergeant simmons au#dick simmons#simmons rvb#rvb#red vs blue#red vs blue restoration#rvb spoilers
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#drill sergeant#skeleton rp#skull#skull art#war#anime#whatsapp#soldier#group chat#funny#memes#hello tumblr#idk man#art#meow#sir yes sir#gothic
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I recently was told to watch Unicorn Wars which is a Spanish film about teddy bears and Sargento Caricias / Drill Sergeant Ironstrokes is the character my brain decided to latch onto. Guess I have another character to obsess about for a while. As with everything I watch I have some dumb headcanons and even dumber ideas. Also I grew up with family who spoke mainly spanish but never learned how to fully speak it myself due to some family issues so it was really fun to watch a movie that I could somewhat kinda understand.
Also I will forever refer to this character as Sargento/ Sergeant Caricias as it is weird to translate names of characters
Headcanons/ ideas under the cut, I apologize for grammar and spelling errors I am making this at like 2:30 in the morning. I may edit later, probably not though
Slight TW for death and emotional issues
Headcanons
Is around 35-45 years old
Slightly chubby but still has muscle
Great marksman and has decent skills in hand-to-hand combat
Met Padre early in his career and has a weird relationship with him
Big anxiety but does not have the skills to deal with it in a healthy way
Really bad with expressing his emotions other than anger and gets extremely frustrated when trying
Took up smoking a few months after joining the army which Padre continues to chastise him about
Has a couple of scars from previous missions but was never injured enough to retire in his opinion
Snores really loud when at home or at base camp but is a scarily quiet sleeper when on a mission
Frequent sufferer of night terrors when at base camp and refuses to sleep with his back facing the door
Good at taking instructions from a superior but awful at giving orders
Ideas
Grew up with a loving mother and a emotionally distant dad
His dad was also in the army in his youth and was a successful Sergeant
Both of his parents were religious but he always found the sermons to be boring and the clothes itchy
He looked up to his dad and wanted to be just like him and would practice his marching in his front yard and would cover his face with mud pretending it was camo paint when he was young
His mother would make fake unicorns for Caricias to shoot blunt arrows into and would always show his dad his marksmanship skills when his dad would have time to come home
His mother died of an unknown disease when he was 10
The last time he openly cried Infront of someone was during the funeral
From watching his dad, he got the idea that men do not cry and are not emotional. His father did not shed a tear during the entire event, nor did Caricias ever see his dad cry at home
His dad became more angry once they returned home, both towards him and the neighbors who his dad previously had a good relationship with
This led to Caricias having issues processing and expressing his emotions in a healthy way. Anger would be his go to emotion and would rather yell than try to work through any other emotion
One of the priests at the church came up to Caricias a few weeks after the funeral and tried to connect with the tween. The priest told him that his mother was with god as Caricias loved his mother so much, so god wanted to protect his mother from this realm
Caricias took this as though the priest was blaming him for his mom's death and ended up with Caricias yelling at the priest
After that he never willingly stepped foot inside or participated in any sermon or event inside a church
He joined the army as soon as he was old enough to and tried to rise up through the ranks as his dad did
When Caricias arrived at his squadron he was approached by the church father who was assigned to the group
This led to a shaky but somewhat friendly relationship between him and Padre
He had great skill with the bow and was considered to be a great soldier who could follow instructions well
Caricias would frequently write to his dad during this time and received letters full of praise about his achievements
When he reached the rank of sergeant, he received a engraved flask from his dad alongside a letter that contained words of praise and encouragement from his father
Despite his quick growth, he ended up failing to guide his troops to kill enough unicorns to impress the generals on several occasions and ended up being injured several times when it could have been avoided with better planning
Padre would frequently try to give words of encouragement to Caricias but would be brushed off as soon as Padre tried to add some religious elements to their conversations
When he failed being promoted the third time he stopped telling his dad about how his missions went and focused on his hopes for the future and memories of his mom
His last letter he sent to his dad spoke about Padre, his hope that he would be promoted after this next mission, his mom, and his faith in his new recruits, especially the blonde one named Coco
#unicorn wars#unicorn blood#sargento caricias#drill sergeant ironstrokes#fanart#fan art#art is hard#headcanon#I dont know how to shade#unicorn wars caricias#I dont understand color theory#I dont speak spanish#I wish we knew Padre's name#I feel bad for Coco's wife#I dont know how to make backgrounds so take this gradient#unicorn wars padre#This movie made me sad and confused#I havent decided if Caricias and Padre are dating yet#I will get back to you on that#Unicorn wars headcanons#This is my first time posting headcanons#It took me a second to realize that him and Blackie are like regular teddy bears while others like Azulin and gordi are like care bears
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love that big boss had a hard on for che guevara
his ass does not understand his politics outside of guerrilla warfare
#kaz is like did you read that book by him I lent you and bb is like No#I find what kaz says in the tape on hiroshima to be interesting#america bombed the country twice then turned around to 'aid' them in order to prevent the spread of communism#and he says that che's visit to the hospitals reminds him of his mom and goddd#using the country you bombed to further political reasons#of course imperialist japan was a Bad thing that needed to be stopped but of course that wasn't the US' intentions in bombing them#he says this and witnessed anti-vietnam protests during his college years#but still went onto join the JSDF and later became a drill sergeant for the US#in the tape where he talks about leaving the JSDF he says it's because he never felt like he could rub shoulders with his father in it#his politics are so interesting to me they are almost centralized to how much he loves war despite him hating the effects to it#he's this nationalist without a nation because he doesn't see himself as belonging to anything#oh damn I have been talkin in these tags lmao#I just love kaz he's fucking interesting love that dude the most round character in mgs
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"i could fix him" yeah well i could get his ass drafted. you're a man go to war. idk
#me#sarcastic feminism#lgbtlove#war n shit#men i guess#lovewins#gay#let the drill sergeant fix him for you#get drafted#can't spell army without me#oh you can nvm
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My favorite part about writing Star Wars fanfic centered around the really evil Palpatine stuff is that I have to seriously ask myself and brainstorm answers to the question “how do you psychologically torture someone to the extent that it destroys the person they once were”
I’m writing about Royal Guard initiation if you’re wondering
#star wars#starwars#fanfic#fanfiction#royal guard#red guard#senate guard#military#boot camp#drill sergeants#writing#brainstorming#palpatine#darth sidious
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Analyze me like one of your French girls <3
Hi ! prompt idea : What if Zuko was armed during the first episode and was stranded with the water tribe while the avatar left with Katara and Sokka, Iroh on his trail for white lotus reasons.
Oh we are going to have us some FUN with "stranded with the water tribe", say no more.
---
Zuko was dripping, and steaming, and staring down two dozen women and their gaggle of small children, plus that old not-the-Avatar crone from earlier. They were all cowering away from him. Which was--
Good. It was good. If they were cowering, then they hadn’t noticed how steam was not flames. He wasn’t sure he could make flames, not after the arctic water he’d landed in, with that last sight of the Avatar glowing; not after surfacing under the ice pack, after swimming, after kicking slamming breaking through and his ship was gone and there was only ocean all around and
and he’d made it back to this pathetic little camp of the Southern Water Tribe, because that was the only place he knew for sure would have shelter, and he wasn’t going to die just because they were all staring at him, even if felt like he would.
Even if the old not-the-Avatar woman could probably take him, right now. But she didn’t know that.
Zuko pulled himself up, taller than her by at least a few inches, and blew steam from his nose.
“I am commandeering one of your huts,” he said. And added, because Uncle said even a prince should be gracious: “You may choose which one.”
---
She choose her own.
...The only one without children that flames might scar, or younger women to catch a soldier’s interests.
Zuko sat by her fire and determinedly started struggling out of his wet clothes and she was still in here with him--
Zuko pulled one of her animal pelts over himself, and finished fighting off his clothes. When he stuck his head back out, cheeks still reddened from what was obviously the cold, she dropped a parka on his head.
“Dry clothes, Your Highness,” she said.
The parka was much bigger than he was. He fell asleep hoping that the camp’s men were on a long, long hunting trip.
---
He woke up again. Kanna tucked her favorite ulu knife away, newly sharpened, and stopped contemplating the alternative.
---
“I am commandeering a ship,” he said.
The crone led him across the village, all twenty paces of it, to a row of canoes.
“Take whichever one you want,” she said. “Will you need help getting it to the water?”
Zuko looked at the canoes. Looked at the ocean. Watched a leopard seal, easily the size of the largest canoe, dozing just past the ice his own ship had broken through the day before. It was frozen again, a great icy arrow pointing from the waves to the village, snow already starting to cover it over.
Beyond was blue sky and gray ocean and white ice, floating in blocks like stepping stones, like boulders, like cliffsides.
There wasn’t even a hint of gray steel, or smoke. Or any land, besides what they were standing on.
He looked down at the canoes again. Somehow, they seemed even smaller.
“I, uh,” Zuko cleared his throat. “I’ll require supplies. Before I go.”
---
They... did not have supplies. Not extra ones. This didn’t stop them from trying to give him supplies, food and blankets and anything else he could think to ask for. But each blanket was a pelt hunted by someone’s grandfather, had been inked with images and stories by someone’s mother, was the favorite of someone’s husband or brother or uncle or cousin--
They couldn’t go to the nearest market to replace things, here.
And when they talked about food, about what they could spare, they kept sneaking glances to their children, who were sneaking glances at Zuko from the huts, sticking their heads just over the snowy ledges like their fur-trimmed hoods would hide them. Their mothers and aunts shooed them away, and they crept back, like barnacle-crabs. Zuko glared, and they disappeared.
“When are your men coming back?” he asked. “They’re hunting, aren’t they?”
Oh. So that was what they looked like, when they weren’t trying to hide their hate.
---
Zuko wrapped himself up in the same blanket that night. It was printed inside with fine lines and images, telling a story he didn’t know. He wondered whose favorite it was.
---
Kanna wondered how quickly he’d wake—if he’d wake—if she built the fire up with wet driftwood and tundra grass, if she had one of the younger girls boost up a child to plug the air hole, if she let the smoke draw its own blanket down over this fire child.
---
It was hard to know when to wake up, because the sun never set. So everyone was up before him, and they all had spears and clubs and—and nets, and trap lines, and snow googles with their single slat to protect the eyes from snow blindness. Zuko had seen those once, at the Ember Island Museum of Ethnography, where they’d gone when it was too rainy for anything more exciting.
Oh. They were going hunting.
“Give me that,” Zuko said, and took a spear.
The women looked at him. One of them adjusted her googles.
“I can hunt,” he scowled.
He did not, in fact, know how to hunt.
---
“Give me that,” the Fire Prince said, and Kanna almost, almost gave him her ulu. Humans, like most animals, had an artery in their legs that would bleed them quick enough.
She kept skinning the rabbit-mink one of the women had snared.
“I can help,” he said, with less grace than most of their toddlers. Likely with the skinning skills of a toddler, too. She wasn’t going to let their unwanted visitor ruin a perfectly good pelt.
“Chop the meat,” she said, and gave him a different knife. “It’s dinner.”
“...This is really sharp,” he said a moment later, looking at the knife with some surprise.
“Is it,” said Kanna.
---
Things the Fire Prince was convinced he could do: hunt (until he realized he couldn’t tell the tracks of a rabbit-mink from a leopard-rabbit apart); spear fish (at least he could dry himself); pack snow for an igloo (frustrated princes ran hot); ice fish (the prince was a problem that kept coming close to solving itself).
Things the Fire Prince could actually do: mince meat, increasingly finely; gather berries and herbs, once he stopped trying to crush them; dig roots, under toddler supervision; mend nets, after the intermediary step of learning to braid hair loopies.
“Can’t I take him ice fishing again?” asked one of the women, as she watched Prince Zuko put as much apparent concentration into braiding her daughter’s hair as his people had into exterminating hers.
“Wait,” said another woman, sitting up straight. “Wait wait wait. I just had an idea.”
---
Three words: Infinite. Hot. Water.
---
Summer was coming to an end. The sun actually set, now, and the night was getting longer, and colder. The salmon-otter nets were mended and ready. The smoking racks were still full of cod-lemmings. The children were all a little older, the women all a little more used to doing both halves of their tribes’ chores; a little more used to not watching the horizon, waiting for help to come.
The Fire Prince was staring at the canoes again.
“Are you actually going to try leaving in one of those?” Kanna asked.
“...No.”
“Come on, then; someone needs to watch the kids while the women are hunting.”
She didn’t leave him alone with them, of course. But she could have.
---
Elsewhere, the war continued.
The moon turned red, for a moment none could sleep through; they did not learn why.
The comet came and went, leaving their castaway prince laying on the beach, his breath fogging up into the night sky above him, as the energy crashed from his system as quickly as it had come. Above, lights began to dance in the sky; Zuko pulled his hood up, so none of those spirits—children, dead too soon—got any ideas about kicking his head off to be their ball.
The war had ended. The world didn’t feel any different; no one in the south would know until spring came again.
---
Suffice it to say, Sokka and Katara were not prepared for this particular homecoming.
#Absolutely agree on the crazy fallout this AU would cause all around#But specifically it is very very important to me at 3am#That you are all picturing the village toddlers ordering Zuko around like tiny drill sergeants a la Sokka in episode one#Because that is the example he set and Zuko is THEIR war prisoner#Zuko's extremely heated debates on his wartime status are actually very reassuring for their mothers to watch#Sir you are engaging in a screaming debate with a literal toddler and you are losing#(and the only thing you're lighting on fire is the air)#Anyway Zuko is very Bullied By Babies in this AU and you all need to know that#avatar the last airbender#atla#zuko#Also important: Kanna DOES NOT adopt Zuko#I cannot emphasize enough how hilarious that is for the multiverse#If only Kanna maintains her professional distance#Thereby giving Salvage!Hakoda and LittleZuko!Sokka zero legs to stand on#Do you understand my vision
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ a residue series installment ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
honey, are you comin’?
previous part: sweet talkin’ | from the hive: session 1
✎ elementary-teacher!reader (miss.honey) x biker!benny 🏍️
summary: in which benny finds honey again. this time near a honeycomb, hopin’ for a taste on the road ;) (p.s.: if you were wonderin’, yes — the title of this was so inspired by måneskin)
warnings: not much of anything besides some minor talks of cruelty towards children, peeps being judgmental as hell, & smoking. they’re subtly flirting here basically. it’s cute! that’s really it. x
author’s note: oh my goodness! you have no idea how STUNNED i’ve been by all the love miss.honey!benny have been getting so far. fully was not expecting this. deadass wrote sweet talkin’ for fun. no thoughts, head empty type beat. just wanted to thank you honeys so so much. i can’t thank ya enough i fear! i literally still can’t wrap my head around this, but i love you all sm & can’t wait to share more with you! 🍯🐝🫶
word count: 2.7k
💌 requests are open, send ‘em honey 💋
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Another unbearable wave of heat managed to remain the very next day. Your students squirming against their metal chairs, antsy as ever for a reprieve. And so were you too. Thankfully, it just so happened to be your turn as fellow recess monitor with one or your fellow co-workers, Miss. Margie. Marge just so happened to be a newly breaded fresh faced teacher just like yourself. You enjoyed her company, more so than the older teachers who were rather cruel to the students. Especially when they did something wrong. Marge wasn’t cruel so to speak but she was a tough cookie, putting her foot down when needed. You two as a duo were rather perfect for the school grounds. You as the comfort go to when a knee was scraped, and Marge as the tough love go to when a particular student needed a stern talking to.
You worked well together, and it showed. Your relief was rather prominent when you stepped out the back door near the playground. An immediate swarm of giggles and chatter from small voices buzzed about, and you couldn’t help but smile as you adjusted your eyes to the sun, protected under your heart shaped sunnies. It didn’t take you long to find Marge who was already planted near the monkey bars with her arms crossed over her chest like a drill sergeant. Considering her father’s status as a war vet, by no means was it shocking to you or anyone else for that matter to see her in such a state.
“Hi Margie,” you greeted her once materialized next to her. “How’s it goin’?”
Margie's clear concentration dropped at the sound of your voice. “Oh no wonder,” she commented without looking at you. Her brows shot up in genuine intrigue.
Your honey coated lips parted in confusion instantly. “Huh?”
“Your three o’clock, Hun.” Margie tilted her head to the right subtly, directing you to her line of sight. A sight that made your heart curl into itself in a warm beat. Right behind those chain-linked fences that kept the kids contained was Uncle Benny. Yet, today his status as Uncle appeared to be rather amiss. Instead of Johnny’s car flanked near the curb, he was leaning against a neat Harley Davidson. The same one you saw him on that mornin’. You figured he was dropping off the girls or somethin’, but your curiosity got the better of you when you saw Mrs. Davis with them instead.
Now in the no parking zone, he stood out like the sorrest of thumbs. Practically a puzzle piece thrown into the wrong box. With no thoughts behind those pretty blue eyes of his besides you.
“That biker of yours stood up like a torpedo as soon as you walked out,” your co-worker added.
You took a moment to adjust your glasses, moving them to the tip of your nose to get a better look. Sure as shit, you weren’t having a heat stroke. It was really him. He was still here. Had he been out here since the mornin’ or left to come back? And if he was here for you like Margie said — why? You were certain he wasn’t much of a fan of you the day prior.
“He’s — He’s not my biker,” you mangled out, words twisting off your tongue as butterflies danced around your tummy.
Margie snorted. “I hate to break it to you, Hun. Lookin’ like he is now.” She paused a moment, shifting her footing as she spotted a youngin’ running roughly across the pavement, almost banging into another student. “Hey — watch where you’re goin’. Don’t push it Mikey!” She reprimanded before fixing herself upright and asking you, “What was all that about yesterday anyways?”
“What y’mean?” You questioned, not quite sure what she was going on about.
“You know — lettin’ the Davis girls go with ‘em. Caused a bit of an upheaval with the parents apparently. Heard all about it in the break room this mornin’. Doesn’t sound like Principal Rubs is real happy about it either.”
Your ears couldn’t believe what you were hearing. What business did the parents have putting their two cents in about somebody else’s family members? As for Principal Rubin, well, she was Principal Rubin after all. There wasn’t much to it there. The damn woman was a stickler with the sprinklers yesterday after all. Never a ball of fun as far as you were concerned.
“Why wouldn't I?” You challenged, becoming rather defensive.
“The guy pulled up like a maniac all greasy and shit. Almost gave everyone a heart attack,” Margie reasoned, her features churning in disgust.
You knew if he was some clean cut military guy in full uniform, she wouldn’t have made a comment at all, which kind-of pissed you off. Sure his clothes were lookin’ as if they hadn’t seen a washing machine in a cycle of days, but hey — what did that have to do with character? There were plenty of people who gave this outward canvas of perfectionism, far off from who they truly were deep down inside. You knew that, and you saw it every single day within the cruel clusters of your modern society. You saw it in the faces of your Ma and Pa when you didn’t fit the supposed mold they were trying to conform you to.
“So? He’s their Uncle, Marge,” you countered, defenses climbing high. “Did you ever think that maybe the man was runnin’ late? Worryin’ about the girls. That’s why he was speedin’.”
Margie sighed. “Not with that Vandals shit on his vest, but whatever you wanna believe, Hun.”
It went quiet between you two then. A clear indication that this conversation wasn’t gonna get the two of you anywhere.
“I should go talk to him,” you announced, snapping the awkward silence in half. There was no denying that you were now suddenly eager to find out what all this was about.
“Yuh should. If you don’t I will, and I doubt that will end well,” she joked, her eyes sparkling in amusement. Oh and she was right about that. Knowing Margie, you knew the idea of her approaching Benny would formulate a recipe for disaster.
You couldn’t help but laugh at that, the mental image of such a scene. But also — you were utterly glad for this newfound banter popped open from a bottle of tension. “Alright Colonel, I’ll be back,” you quipped, before heading across the playground.
You could feel his eyes burning across your form on your journey to the edge of the property, your tummy flipping again in a bit of nerves and excitement. A part of you felt somewhat disappointed when you found yourself coming to a halt — stuck behind the monstrous fence that separated you from him, while another was glad for some security. You weren’t quite sure what his motive was, but knew it couldn’t be anything bad. He was just sitting here, smoking and minding his own business. Well — minding you.
“The girls don’t get out of school for another few hours, y’know,” you said matter-of-factly, eyeing him through the grates of the fence that reminded you far too much of a honeycomb.
He didn’t say much of anything, just raised a brow as you as he took one last drag of his cigarette. You watched as he put it out against the pavement, amongst a garden of other buds with his boot. Your suspicions were coming into fusion then, the realization that he’d been planted here for as long as your delusions imagined.
What could he possibly want from an innocent elementary school teacher like you?
He reached for that packet of Marlboros in his vest pocket all over again, clearly on a chain smoking spree. “Y’want?” He asked, stopping in his tracks. Those lean fingers of his calloused to the bone holding out a fresh cigarette in your direction. A cigarette that he’d been saving for you just in case.
You looked around for a moment, not quite sure what to do. The coast seemed to be clear though. Margie looked busy with some of the kids. Had a cluster of ‘em around her with her finger wagging about in every which direction. With her eyes no longer trained on Benny and you, and your form more than halfway across the school yard, you figured it wouldn’t hurt. Besides, you were having a day and could really use a cigarette. “Sure.” You shrugged nonchalantly.
Benny re-adjusted his stance, shoulders straight as he sauntered the sidewalk to meet you against the fence. His rough knuckles brushed across your polished ballet slipper fingers as he passed you the cigarette though the honeycomb, a sweetness shooting up your arm in an instance. You left it sticking out for a moment so he could light it up for you, and you could feel his hot breath fanning against your face. The casual interaction felt rather intimate in the moment, and you were more than happy when you got to take a step back on your first drag.
“Thanks,” you voiced your appreciation as he popped a fresh cig against his lips, now lighting up his own. You couldn’t help but notice that he had a sweet little freckle etched into his bottom lip. No wonder he had beautiful lips, you thought.
Surely, they’d be sweet to the kiss.
Jutting your hip out, you tapped your foot against the dry grass in impatience. “You stalkin’ me or somethin’?” You ripped off the bandage then, getting right into the real stuff. It was too hot out to sugarcoat anything any longer. Plus, the more you stood here the more Marg would get curious, and you’d be caught slacking on the job.
His lip curled up to the side naturally, just like it had yesterday when you introduced yourself to him. “Ain’t a stalker,” he confirmed, re-pocketing his lighter.
You found his candid response refreshing’. Naturally a honey rumblin’ laugh tumbled out of you “Good to ‘ear. My co-worker y’see ‘round over there?” Flicking the residue on the end of your cigarette out of the way, you pointed at her simultaneously. “She thinks ya are. Doesn’t appreciate the loitering.”
He shook his head then, long pretty eyelashes fanning his lower lids as he puckered his lips against the cig. His eyes squinted across the campus for only a second until his gaze landed right back on you. You in another denim overall number with a whole new canvas of embroidered fun. This time, knowing that you were gonna be out in the yard come afternoon, you opted on a classic jean overall. There was always the possibility of having to kneel on the grassy ground or near the sand pit, having to scoop up a youngin’ that refused to leave the playground. You learned your lesson rather quickly within your first few months of teaching. Tripping over yourself in such a situation left a tear in your favorite skirt. A skirt you still frowned about every time you found a certain piece in your closet that would make the perfect pair.
Funnily enough, if Benny knew of such a thing he would’ve made sure the same exact piece of clothing was at your doorstep and back in your closet before the thought crossed your sweet little mind.
But you didn’t know that. Not yet, that is.
And Benny — well Benny wasn’t payin’ as much attention as he would’ve liked to what you were sayin’, and he wasn’t quite interested in Margie anyways. His interests lied with you, and in his defense, the sight of you in your heart shaped sunnies wasn't helping the cause one bit. It was hard to take you seriously when you looked that stinkin’ cute. Made him wanna put you in his jacket pocket for safe keeping. And hell was he itching to just drive his bike right through the fuckin’ fence to break the barrier between you two. He was still beatin’ himself up for not taking your hand when you offered it to him yesterday. Hence why he was here, stakin’ you out. Hoping to fix his mistake.
Because the last thing he ever wanted to do was fuck this up with you.
Instead of enertainin’ your comment or makin’ a move to leave upon your far from subtle hints, far from linear to your own wishes, he changed the topic completely. “What time y’get outta ‘ere?”
You took a long drag of your cigarette, to calm your anxieties. The smoke circled ‘round your face for a moment before it traveled across the fence, reachin’ for Benny. Ironically, it was as if the smoke mirrored your desires of clinging onto the man in front of you. “‘round the same time as the girls, a little after,” you replied, curiosity adding, “what’s it to ya?”
“Wanna go for a ride?” He inquired casually. As if he was just stoppin’ by and hadn’t been sitting here for a good three quarters of the school day waitin’ for you.
The simple question spilling from those pretty lips of his made you melt in an instant. If it wasn’t for the obvious heat as a buffer to such a state, your mind would’ve found him as the culprit. “Where?”
“‘round.” He shrugged, not offering much of a plan. His casual demeanor remained concrete to his form.
An innocent smirk stretched across your face, blooming the apples of your cheeks and creasing the plane of your forehead. Now you were the one to flex amusement against a cylinder wedged between honey glossed lips. Now Benny was the one to be somewhat grateful for the honeycomb — if you will. Cause if the fence wasn’t there, he knew he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. He’d have your honey gloss all over his lips, tasting your sweetness without a second thought. Without caring about Margie or the students on the playground. Without caring about anyone really, but you.
Always you.
Perhaps anyone else would be rather suspicious of a plan with really no plan at all. Sure Margie would need a bulleted itinerary on fresh stationary, color coated and attached to a clipboard respectfully. But you — no, you appreciated his carefree mentality. It was peaceful in comparison to the stressing atmosphere that surround you on a daily basis, dotting on the kiddos in your classes, worryin’ constantly about ‘em.
Two could play this game, you thought.
Just at the end of your cigarette, your pretty fingers reached between a ring in the honeycomb, motioning it back to him. “Would ya put this out f’me?” You asked sweetly, mascara coated lashes batting about behind those obvious heart eyes of yours. “Don’t want the kids to find it in the grass.”
“Mhm,” Benny hummed, finding your concern for this children too fuckin’ cute. How could he ever say no to a sweet thang like you? He just couldn’t.
Your fingers grazed his as he took it from you, a touch that you found yourself thanking your faith for allowing you to bask in again.
This time he not only put out his cigarette, but yours too in the garden of buds that would blossom into a metaphor. A metaphor that had you joining his crew. Becoming a part of the club, joining his family, and fulfilling your wifely duties of planting a seed or two more along the way. Growin’ Benny some baby honeys of your very own.
Your lack of a reply to his offer didn’t sway him by any means, only fueled his fire tenfold. Turning on his heel then, you couldn’t help but frown, thinkin’ your hesitance turned him impatient and over the prospect completely. Especially when you watched him mount his bike and rev the engine, ready to ride away without another word. But Benny — no he still had somethin’ to say, and he was gonna say it alright. “I’ll see ya out front after school, Honey.” He decided, “I’ll be waitin’.”
The sound of your nickname rolling off his tongue — as smooth as honey sliding down your throat in a soothing tea — was all you needed to make your decision.
With your fun little backpack — straps resting against your shoulders — absolutely decked out in pins and keychains alike, you’d spot him at dismissal, and he’d be waitin’. Waitin’ for you to come. Wonderin’ if you were comin’.
Askin’ himself ‘Honey, are you comin’?’
Of course you would. You always would with Benny, no matter what.
And when you mounted his bike, your body molding into his like you were made for him, and your hands wrapping around his waist, Benny’s mistake proved to be no more. Suddenly, everything felt right in the world.
Right because you were one step closer to being his honey.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
hi-ya, i hope you enjoyed part 2! there’s so much more to come. expect a from the hive 🎙️🐝 installment real soon :)
also to note, my requests are open for any miss honey x benny cross works + any convos about these two in general. don’t be shy honey, i’m all for yapping in the asks.
+ don’t forget to comment if you’d like be added to “da bee hive” (my version of da tag list)
smoochies. all da love xanadu 💋
da bee hive 🐝
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#miss honey x benny cross#benny cross x reader#the bikeriders fanfiction#benny cross#johnny davis#the bikeriders#austin butler#austin butler fanfiction#tom hardy#residue da series#johnny the bikeriders#benny the bikeriders#da bee hive 🐝#from the hive 🎙️🐝
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I can't believe that TNT introduced a concept as good as a Grundo drill sergeant who lost his mind and now spends his time "training" non-sentient vegetables for war in the Neopedia and then proceeded to do absolutely NOTHING with the character for 20 years
#neopets#neotag#grundo#outdesign posts things#alright that's it for the neopedia entries#to be fair veggie chias are a thing. so maybe he's onto something here
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Oh oh oh, so I've talked before about how incredible it is to see how Double Fine matured in its handling of neurodivergence in the fifteen years between Psychonauts 1 and 2, but you know what else is addressed more sensitively in Psychonauts 2?
War.
The first game talks about war a weird amount, for it not really being the thing that the game is about, and it's all through the lens of insecure dudes in military cosplay (Fred I still love you the most but it had to be said). Oleander got rejected from every branch and now he's made this military fantasyland his whole personality, acting like a drill sergeant around the kids and dreaming up horrible superweapons, and all the while his construct in Lungfishopolis proves he doesn't really understand how the Navy works or how a revolution against the military complex would actually look. (Aside, I still find it very funny that Psychonauts 2 establishes that designing superweapons is just something he does all the time, even when he's good, and Hollis's austerity is the only thing getting in his way.) Waterloo World, meanwhile, has its roots in a real world conflict, but the real world conflict is not Fred's issue; the things casting a shadow over Fred are the mythologized legacy of Napoleon and a board game which is an abstracted mockery of real military strategy.
And all of this, treating the war and military as some abstract fantasy, is just for giggles and goofs. Which is totally fine by the way! Psychonauts is a comedy game and a dark one at that. I don't have a problem with a comedy deriving some harmless laughs from a dark topic. I'm just pointing out that the first game had an odd and irreverent fascination with war so I can say that the contrast between it and Psychonauts 2 is kind of mind-boggling.
In Psychonauts 2, war is no longer some heady hypothetical thing. This game puts an actual, in-universe war at the center of its backstory. This war had real casualties. It tore apart families, displaced people from their homes, left so much pain in its wake that even mentioning the name Maligula is said to cause a massive psychic outcry. Of course, every character in the game who was touched by this war has trauma coming out of their ears. And the villain of the piece is Gristol, the one person who (despite, yes, having associated traumas of his own) doesn't take what happened seriously, the person who wants the war machine that was Maligula to come back.
Anyway so yeah I played Psychonauts for one (1) hour yesterday and the Video Game Thoughts are alllllll coming back.
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Knockout; 40, 5'11, Former professional racecar driver, Currently a Medic/Doctor, still does tons of street racing as a hobby (both legally and illegally)
Breakdown; 45, 6'5, Former construction worker, I haven't decided what he's going to be right now since I haven't decided if the war is ongoing in this au but for now he's currently a Military Training Instructor/Drill Sergeant
Bonus, their kids below the cut
WildBreak; 18~19, 6'2, Youngest
Knockout has a sister in this human au, she was their surrogate so Wildbreak is biologically related to Breakdown and Knockout
Erin (Oc); 21, 5'6, Oldest, Dyes her hair to match K.O
Erin (in this au, I'll maybe post her canon look later) is Biologically Breakdown's daughter, she was born before KO and BD got together, I haven't decided what happened to her mom yet but she's was never in the picture
I forgot watermarks but oh well idc rn
#transformers#transformers animated#transformers human au#humanformers#transformers humanization#transformers oc#transformers one#transformers prime#tfp#knockout#breakdown#kobd#tfp kobd#tfp knockout#tfp breakdown#wildbreak
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