#drehy

[cosmerelists]

A Sexy Fireman Calendar But Make It Stormlight

Happy New Year! Let's imagine what a "sexy men of Roshar" calendar would be like. And yes, yes I am trying to do purely visual gags in a written medium. What can I say? I don't draw.

Anyway, here's how I think such a calendar would be designed if it were made for us since I'm too lazy to look up the names of Rosharan months and I want to make holiday jokes.

1. January: Dalinar

What better way to kick off the new year than with a man who reminds us to just keep taking the next step?

Dalinar is sitting in front of a fireplace full of flamespren wearing his uniform...but with the jacket and shirt all the way unbuttoned, like he's relaxing after a long day of work, his presumably hairy chest on full display.

2. February: Drehy and Dru

The Valentine's Day month of course must feature Urithiru's hottest gay couple.

Drehy and Dru are lying on a heart-shaped mattress, with a red blanket draped artfully across their bodies, rose petals surrounding them. Aside from the blanket, they don't appear to be wearing anything at all...

3. March: Adolin

Adolin is wearing his Easter Best--namely a pink linen shirt with a deep V-neck, a white scarf, white pants, and a winning smile. Also, I think he should be holding a baby bunny, just to really sell it.

4. April: Lopen

Lopen is upside down, stuck to a wall, his rakish grin suggesting that this April Fool's Joke is on you--but also that you'll be laughing along with everyone else.

5. May: Rlain

Like a herald of Spring, Rlain is sitting reclined, his back against a tree, surrounded by blooming flowers. He's in warform, his sharply chiseled muscles making an excellent contrast to all of the soft, bright nature around him.

6. June: Sigzil

Sigzil stands, shirtless and glistening with sweat, beneath the blazing sun. It looks like you caught him mid-kata, spear in hand.

7. July: Kaladin

Kaladin has been photographed in the midst of a summer thunderstorm: his wet hair blowing sideways but in an artful way, his wet undershirt sticking to his chest, and a dramatic bolt of lighting in the background.

8. August: Skar

The back-to-school month features our favorite teacher. Skar is clearly mid-lesson, floating off the ground, glowing with Stormlight, holding his hand up as though expounding.

9. September: Renarin

Renarin is standing amid fall colors, leaves floating gently to the ground around him. He's dressed as if for the crisp fall air in a long coat, flannel shirt, and pants. He's holding a warm mug of cider, the steam rising past his face.

10. October: Hoid

Hoid...well I'd have to say he looks both hot and creepy. He's wearing a masquerade mask and suit, holding a martini glass. His eyes say that he has many secrets.

11. November: Rock

Rock has made you a FEAST for Thanksgiving! He's standing in front of a table laden in food (stew front and center, of course), holding his arms out wide as if inviting you to join him, a huge grin on his face.

12. December: the Stick

It's stuck in the ground, standing up, with a single Christmas ornament as decoration.

Yes, despite not being a man, the stick has made it into the Sexy Men Calendar. What can't it do?

[radioactiveiridium]

Kholinar: *inhabited by dark evil unmade* *people staving* *refugee struggling* *On the verge of voidbringer attack*

Adolin: *in his powder-blue suit* "what do y'all bitches want?"

Drehy: "I'll have a pastry Adolin!"

Skar: "Make that eight!"

Kaladin: " ...what?"

[ohhhmio]

Sigzil: We need to get proper houses for our men if we dont want their families sharing bunks with us, Kal. Bisig's almost married, you know.

Kaladin: Really? I didn't know that.

Sigzil: Yeah, and Punio too. He's already married actually.

Kaladin: Wait, that wasn't his sister?

Sigzil: No. Then there's the thing with Drehy...

Kaladin: What thing?

Sigzil: He's gay.

Kaladin: Oh, that I know.

[borednhungy]

DRRHY IS COJRTUNG A MANNN HDKDBSHSGSGSGS LRTS GOOOO

[spectrum-color]

Bridge 4

[rathalthisass]

Regarding that one scene in Oathbringer where they discuss Drehy dating a man-

Doylist explanation: Sanderson is giving us information on Alethi culture and norms using a beloved character knowing this interaction won't harm his reputation.

Watsonian explanation: Sure, Kaladin is educated but he's from a small town and he's 20. TWENTY.

Have you met a 20 year old? Even a smart, impressive one? Yeah.

[cosmerepolls]

What's Your Opinion - Drehy

[wyndlerunner]

Renarin: Making a move on my crush is too scary

Drehy: You literally faced down a thunderclast on your own

[itmakesssenseincontext]

Sigzil: Sir, Drehy is gay.

Kaladin: Yes? And?

Sigzil: Well, he hasn't filled out the paperwork!

Kaladin: What paperwork?

Sigzil: the gay paperwork? The paperwork that lets him be gay?

Kaladin: Sig, there is no paperwork.

Sigzil: THERE'S NO PAPERWORK? Heathens the lot of you

[stew4]

The best part of stormlight modern aus is thinking about all the different bridge four incarnations.

school club? Dance team? Literally any kind of sport team? Factory workers? Apartment floor? Diner workers? Backstage crew? Just some guys?

someone has thought it

[cosmerelists]

Stormlight characters: Kill them with kindness?

[Stormlight spoilers! Through Rhythm of War]

Lirin: Kill them with kindness? Kill them with kindness??

Lirin: Help them with kindness! Save them with kindness! Be better with kindness!

Kaladin: Kill them with spear.

Skar: I was also gonna say spear.

Drehy: Can't go wrong with a spear, really.

Adolin: Bah! Kill them with a sword!

Adolin: Way more elegant and classy!

Shallan: Sword...poison...strangulation...

Shallan: It really depends on the situation.

Jasnah: I agree with my former ward.

Jasnah: Sometimes you can goad them into falling on their own sword.

Jasnah: But sometimes you just have to turn them into fire.

Raboniel: I prefer to use a mystic weapon forged by the smartest human I have ever met.

Navani: Awww!

Navani: Wait.

Sadeas: You are all so small-minded.

Sadeas: If you're going to kill someone--make it big, make it bold, make it a seemingly tragic but heroic death that you definitely can't be prosecuted for.

Dalinar: ...that didn't even work, though.

Sadeas: Well it WOULD HAVE, if not for those stupid BRIDGEMEN

Hesina: I feel like we are getting off track here.

Hesina: Killing people with kindness can be highly effective!

Wit: Ah, metaphorical killing--the only option left for some of us.

Rlain: Also it's, you know, good not to kill people.

Rlain: Sometimes you can befriend or unite people, rather than just going straight for wholesale slaughter.

Renarin: Kill them by...getting to know them?

Rlain: We'll, uh, workshop that but I like where you're going with it!

Szeth: Killing is not kind, though.

Taravangian: It can be. It can be a kindness to the world, if not to the victim. And sometimes that greater kindess is what matters.

Szeth: Ah. Like when I killed you?

Taravangian: ...not really my favorite example.

Taravangian: But yes. Because you "killed" me, the world has been changed for the better!

Wit: ...Were those quotation marks?

Taravangian: Don't worry about it. 🖤 

[nevertheless-moving]

Angsty Continuation of this Crack Szeth/Kaladin Time Travel AU:

"Sir, may I speak with you? It's a matter of some importance."

Dalinar looked up sharply, locking eyes with his Captain of the Guard.

Some of the clerks he had been meeting with had bristled, affronted as ever by what many saw as the unreasonably jumped up dark eyes. His intrusion into the room with barely a knock probably hadn't helped their opinion.

Dalinar ignored them for the moment, choosing instead to maintain eye contact. A chill ran down his spine.

Stormfather. When had the Captain started looking so…worn out? The man's gaze had always been strikingly intense, tired shadows kept at bay by a fiery rage. But now… Dalinar had perhaps seen that expression before, in a dying Chasmfiend. Embers of an unfathomably immense blaze, finally burning itself out. The heat it gave off still enough to scorch a man, but dying nevertheless.

He felt a twinge of guilt. Surely… he hadn't done that? Almight knows he asked a lot of the young man, too much perhaps. But storms… no, something must have happened. He had just seen the man, what, yesterday? Perhaps it had been a week since they had spoken more than in passing, but still. A week of overwork didn't burn through a person like that.

The Highprince cleared his throat. "I assume this has something to do with security?"

Captain Kaladin nodded firmly.

"Very well. Zaninel, Sherath, you're dismissed."

They left without a word, and barely a glare. Perhaps they had also caught something in the Captain's expression.

Kaladin closed the door behind him as he entered. He proceeded to the table, then all but collapsed into the chair across from the Highprince.

Dalinar raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

The darkeyed man rubbed a hand across his forehead, palm seeming to linger across the brands there. He started, sitting up.

"Sorry sir," he said hoarsely. "I forgot myself."

He pushed his weight forward as if to stand, but Dalinar waved him back.

"Its alright," he said. "I'm not one to make a soldier stand when hes clearly on his last chip."

The Captain sagged back.

"I apologize for the breach in decorum, I… last night…" He sighed, squaring his shoulder's and seeming to steel himself. "Well, sir, there's been vital matters I've been debating how to best present to your attention, but now one aspect has come to a head. Bridge four had… a visitor to our fire last night, scared the light out of my men. I've been trying to figure out what to do with him all night."

"A visitor?" Dalinar frowned. "This man is a security concern?"

Kaladin barked a humorless laugh. "It would be fair to say that, yes."

Dalinar waited for more of an explanation.

Kaladin sighed heavily. "I'd like to make a request sir."

"A request."

"That you not immediately put this man to death."

"Not…immediately?" Dalinar felt like an idiotic river spren, only able to mimic words/ But for the life of him, he had no idea where this conversation was going.

The captain nodded, drumming his fingers on the table. "I think he's of more value alive than dead, sir. And… I swore to try and help him regain some measure of his sanity. I can't do that if you kill him on sight."

"Kelek's Breath!" Dalinar said with some disbelief. "This madman if yours, he's truly so alarming, that you think I would do such a thing?"

Kaladin nodded, and Dalinar felt dread pool in his stomach.

"Who is this man?" he whispered.

"His name is Szeth."

"Szeth."

"Yes sir."

"That sounds like a Shin name."

"It is sir."

Dalanir stared down at the Captain, uncertain at what point he had stood up.

"Captain Stormblessed," he said with calm he didnt feel. "I can think of only one Shin man that I would desire to kill on sight."

Kaladin winced, then looked up locking those exhausted, burning eyes with his. "Yes."

"The assassin in white is here." Dalinar stated flatly.

"Yes."

The Highprince took a deep breath to steady himself. "The assassin who killed my brother?"

"Yes."

"The assassin who has been killing world leaders, throwing kingdoms into chaos."

"Yes."

Dalinar grabbed the lapels of Kaladin's jacket, towing him up with an enraged growl. He breathed heavily for a moment , attempting to restrain himself as he stared at that tired, dark expression.

"I trusted you," he hissed. "I trusted you with everything I had, everyone I loved, and you've been working with the Assassin in White."

Storms, did he feel tears in his eyes? Surely this betrayal couldn't hurt worse than Sadeas, but the dagger sharp pain in his sternum said otherwise. Had it all been a ruse? The tower, the retreat, Oathbringer…all one large, intricate lie to trick an old fool?

"No." The captain said firmly, meeting his unsaid questions with a steady, inarguable honesty.

"No, your maj — Sir. No, I have not been working with him. No, I had nothing to do with your brothers death — I was a child at the time, and Szeth and I hadn't even met. When we did first meet, I fought him. Then we fought again. I thought I killed him. I… I actually did kill him, from what i understand."

Kaladin Stormblessed's expression went very far away, but his words continued with that discordant lighteyed crispness he had had from that start.

"He was brought back by… a higher power. I'll explain what I can, but honestly, there's a lot a don't understand. He still very disturbed, but he is trying. He's taking another step along the journey, each day. Szeth is only a danger to himself now."

Stormblessed paused, then looked pained anew.

"Well…mostly. He's prepared to serve you, including as a killer. And…he's indicated that he's similarly willing to listen to my commands. He trusts me, sir. It…I realize this puts you in an uncomfortable position."

Dalinar felt his fingers unclench, and he lowered Stormblessed gently to his seat. There was no question in his mind if he could accept the Captain's word on this, he knew as instinctively as ever that this mans could be trusted.

Knew it more now than ever, seeing in those eyes a man who would rather break himself than break his oaths.

The pain of betrayal ebbed away, leaving a mess of emotions and thoughts in their wake.

Dalinar sat back heavily, rattling the maps and folios on the table.

"Storms!" He scrubbed a hand across his face. "You realize how mad this is, right?"

Kaladin laughed humorlessly. "Very much so."

"I —" Dalinar didn't know where to begin. "Where is he right now?"

"My office — my quarters in the Bridge Four Barrack."

"And he's under guard?"

"I have the Lopen and Rock switching off with him, but like I said, hes rather not a threat to anyone right."

"The Lop— wait, isn't Rock your cook's name?"

"Yessir. And you’ve probably seen Lopen before, he's hard to miss —small, loud, Herdassian."

"The one with one arm? You have a cook and a one armed man guarding the most dangerous man alive? Guarding a known shardbarer?" Dalinar found himself standing again, voice close to a shout. He forced himself back down.

Kaladin smiled weakly for some reason. "He gave me his shardblade, actually. As part of his surrender."

Dalinar glanced at Kaladin's hands, as if to find a shardblade he hadn't noticed.

The Captain opened his mouth, but Dalinar raised a hand. "…I'm not going to enjoy your answer on the location of that either, am I."

"Probably not, no."

Stormlight AU Masterlist

[sebarial-the-economist]

(Minor spoilers for Wind and Truth ahead)

Drehy: Bridge Four stew tonight, are you coming?

Renarin: Who's cooking?

Drehy: Does it matter?

Renarin: Yeah I need to know if I should eat before or come hungry.

Big mood Renarin!

[escargay28]

Rushu NB icon 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

[hatshepsut9]

This scene though

(Renarin staring at Rlain)

Drehy: Go on, flirt with him!

Renarin: I’m too autistic to flirt :(

Drehy: You can do it!

Renarin: What if he’s straight :(

Drehy: Then you’ll get over it!

Renarin: No I won’t 😠

[gnckholin]

if they were on earth I think drehy would take renarin to the gay bar just to be like. okay you've seen it now. and then renarin would leave because his ass should NOT be at the club but seeing other gay people would be good for him