#dread spiral
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#dread jewelry#dreadlock coil#loc beads#hair jewelry#braid twist#dread spiral#one of a kind#treasurestwisted
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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American manifestations of Smirke's 14 (+ the extinction)
the lonely: blizzards, social media, the "american dream"
the vast: the great plains, the great lakes, NASA
the flesh: fast food restaurants, tanning salons, cosmetic surgery
the slaughter: the NRA, police, military recruitment officers
the hunt: trophy hunters, true crime sleuths, TMZ, paparazzi
the spiral: fox news, healthcare professionals, washington dc
the eye: the fbi, silicon valley, the library of congress
the desolation: hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires
the stranger: large cities, the Appalachian mountains, hollywood
the dark: alaska, organized crime syndicates
the corruption: opioids, ants, cockroaches, mega churches
the buried: mine shafts, the subway, credit card debt, student loans
the web: the CIA, the NSA
the end: prison industry
the extinction: nuclear power plants, the mississippi river, contaminated water reserves, golf courses, oil rigs
#edited on 10/26 with more examples#the magnus archives#tma#tma podcast#the dread powers#the lonely#the vast#the eye#the desolation#the stranger#the extinction#the hunt#the slaughter#the end#the web#the spiral#the buried#the flesh#the corruption
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OC time!
I have a 5-page comic on the way that has worldbuilding details (this is a fantasy world believe it or not), but I did these as warm up. I'm still getting a feel for the characters.
#Asher (guy with the beauty mark/braid) has a fictional disability that is the reason I ended up spiraling and creating this world#i am both excited to work on it and dreading to draw 5 whole pages#oc#original character#oc art#art
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Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)
#my ârt#crush depth#crush depth spoilers#fnaf#tw blood#tw drowning#idk how many others apply#anyways this is midnight crow coming out of the shadow realm to scream at you#first of all a cs ramble is on the way I'm still recovering from that fic too#im biting you naff im biting you so dang hard#I don't even know much about iron lung besides watching a play through but damn do you make me want to know more#just. where do I even start. the atmosphere is established so well and even though there was such a small space to work with I FELT it#I felt the claustrophobia I felt the walls and the console and the single dim lightbulb as my only solace in this death trap#the THOUGHTS#poor yn had so much time to just get lost in their head and spiral pretty much constantly#the dread. the constant overhanging dread of knowing there's a 99% chance they're not getting out of there alive and at this point#they just want to accept it and let it end bc there's hardly anything to go back to if they live#naff. look at me. reading some parts made my chest actually tighten with dread. it was so well done.#this poor human just buried in existential horror and just wanting it to end in a slightly less painful way#and the unknowable beings trapped outside who absolutely REFUSE to let that happen#god those eldritch fish were trying their hardest but just couldn't get in#yn was trapped inside while they were trapped outside and I just#I am EXPLODING the more I think about it#thinking about when they thought they were drowning and tried to breathe again#wanting to die but still having that instinct to survive#asking to be ripped apart but still cherishing their last breath of air#I'm shaking you I'm shaking you I'm dying on the floor#ough.#I'll never mentally recover from this and I want you to know I genuinely get inspired by your writing#this has been midnight crow ramblings. I just hit the tag limit. have a lovely night.
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I absolutely love how well The Spiral turned out
#35mm#b&w#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma#tma fanart#magnus archives#the magnus archive fanart#the dread powers#film photography#photography#photography art#the spiral
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Can we talk about how well Kayne and Helen would get along
#MAYBE Michael#podcast#malevolent#arthur lester#john doe#the entity#the magnus archives#the magnus verses#the magnus protocol#the dread powers#helen richardson#the distorted helen#the distortion#the spiral#nyarlathotep of that reality#nyarlathotep
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so 2024 huh
#art#doodle#heyo! i'm back. kinda#jeez i feel like i missed a lot in two weeks#fuck i am not ready to get back in the grind#hhhhhhhh the dread#WHEN DOES IT STOP SPIRALING
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another silly thought i had through out veilguard:
morrigan is shown to be with the inquisitor at all times after rook meets them the first time. this is true for every inky, regardless of romance, but i’d like to think this:
morrigan retains mythal’s memories and she knows how much she hurt solas. lavellan was the one person IN THE ENTIRE WORLD OF THEDAS who brought back solas’s true nature: wisdom. mythal brought out solas’s worst: his pride.
i like to think morrigan is aware of this and as both the successor to mythal and the inquisitor’s friend, she makes a promise to keep lavellan safe so she could return not only the key to breaking solas’s chains with mythal’s essence, but the means of recovering his true nature of wisdom afterwards.
because that’s what morrigan is all about! she wants to preserve the lost histories that thedas has forgotten or tried to bury. she’s recovering an ancient spirit’s true nature! wisdom is one of the rarest spirits in the fade! of course morrigan wants to see the dread wolf simply be who he always was: solas, spirit of wisdom. and lavellan will be the one to help him recover this long-buried part of himself. for as long as it takes.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#solas#f!lavellan#solavellan#dragon age morrigan#mythal#fen’harel#the dread wolf#haha i’m spiraling still#idk if this makes sense to anyone else but#the writing in this game is so good if you just look between the lines
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don't look at me!!! i'm just over here reading my cosy little mystery books and thrillers. not too complicated. straight to the point. follows one or two plot lines. just very mindful. very demure. no emotional roller coasters or life-altering revelations here. i'm literally just a girl!!!
#i always look forward to the plot twist#but unlike other genres they may be shocking but they wont send me off into an existential spiral of dread and anxiety#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers#writer#writing community#creative writing#writerblr#writer things#writers block#writers life#writers and poets#writerscommunity#ao3 writer#writer stuff#writing funny#on writing#write#writing meme#writing memes#writing struggles#writing problems#writing humor#writer problems#writing is hard#motivation#writing motivation#autumn
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i haven't been this not okay in over a year and i do not miss it and i do not want it
#good to know i can still spiral this hard and catastrophize as well as i ever did DESPITE EVERY TECHNIQUE I KNOW.#and yoga. and breathing. and cold water and ice. and logic. and distractions. and thought reframing.#teeth aren't a moral judgement EXCEPT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE#I feel like I'm going to ACTUALLY DIE. ACTUALLY DIE#I was JUST the other day so grateful it's been so long since I was mostly dissociated instead of mostly present and now all I want is to be#checked the FUCK out and also not exist so I don't have to go tomorrow#pull yourself together @ me you have objectively already survived much worse#and you have it much better than it could be#and worst case scenarios are still dealable-with even though they don't feel like it#unhelpfully. all my brain wants to do is tell every person i know that i'm freaked out and terrified and full of shame and guilt and dread#and want COMFORT AND ATTENTION#and it's like bitch you wouldn't even accept it if you asked and they DID give it to you. you are so fucked up right now. chill. OUT.#@ all of you I am SO sorry i'm liveblogging my breakdown today. i'm scared to open my journal and spiral more so this is all I've got#I'll be done with this mode by the end of tomorrow I promise#shh katie
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In a southern gothic mood so I combined the idea of that slasher oc I had yet to design with everything else and came up with this guy.
He haunts a small town and occasionally kills any townsfolk that wander into his fields. To keep him calm every townie plants blue flowers in their yard, all except for one who recently moved back after ten years and started planting yellow flowers.
Oddly enough they're still alive...
#exophilia#art tag#oc#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc art#black artists on tumblr#black artist#drawing while black#he was originally supposed to be an adopt I had a vague idea of then i spiraled as you can tell#i do love giving ocs straight hair styles then blackifying it to suit my needs#and tbh i think the dreads work better since it does give him like...a straw haired kinda feel
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
#ughhhh#im not going to drop out just yet#itd be a shame i think#theres many opportunities at my uni that i just dont take cause i cant commit to them or im too tired or im too scared#idk if doing any of this is worth it if i don't truly commit tho#i dont think ive learned anything these past 2 years tbh i feel like ive been wasting time and money#and i know my mental state is just my fault cause i cant get myself to do anything and i feel shame and spiral but goddd#idk i just feel like shit#the academic year starts so soon and i just dread everything thats to come#idk i dont even feel like im going to come out of this school with a portfolio. im literally nothing and ive done nothing#i have no idea how i could write a dissertation because ive literally learned nothing i have no desire to learn i just want to fucking chil#i cant get myself to care much for anything except silly shit thats just a distraction from uni work ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh#sucks sucks everything sucks#sorry for this stupid fucking essay im just having lots of thoughts and no one to tell them so.. um#vent#i know this is all my fault but also like. what am i supposed to do about it every solution sounds like literal hell to me -_-#i guess ive been feeling less suicidal recently which i guess is good but i feel like its bad cause like ykiyk ig#idk its all a huge contradiction
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Hello!
I'm Alex, or Abyss/Ace or M (any pronouns) and am open for comissions!
Pricing
Lineart only:
Portrait: 15$
Half body: 25$
Full body: 35$
Any additional character in lineart: 20$
Some samples
Color:
Portrait 20$
Half body 30$
Full body 60$
Every additional character for colored pieces 40$
Backgrounds with some detail:
30$ extra
Some samples
Pixel Color
Fullbody: 30$
Additional character 20$
Samples
The Process:
Hit me up with a message for a comission with request and references.
I hit you up with a rough sketch, and if you ok it, half of payment should be sent to the kofi (which will be linked to you at this point)
Next step entails clean lineart here you can request changes in details.
Afterwards I will send in flat color where we can change up general palette. No drastic changes will be made unless we renegotiate the terms of comision.
Finally, finished rendered illustration will be sent with warermark. Second half of payment will be made at this point after which you will recieve image without warermark (signature will still be there)
Due to my phones restrictions with processing capacity, image resolution will not be much bigger than 2000x3000 pixels.
Time estimate is 1-2 weeks unless life happens (but i will let you know if thats so)
I won't do:
Mecha
Vehicles
Extreme nsfw (not sure? Ask. No judgement in DMs)
Terms of use:
The art is personal use only. Print it for yourself, make a phone mask etc. Comercial use is strictly not allowed unless we discuss it.
I reserve right to decline a request.
#comissions#artists on tumblr#dnd comission#sadly my meds changed and they went from 30$ per month to 120$ and it helps brain not spiral into dread of existance
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Hah projecting my sadness? What do you mean?
This was done four days ago (Jan 21) but I still wasn’t feeling good so I neglected to post it anywhere. Kept it around for myself mostly.
#think I was either listening a lot to ‘Messy-Lola Young’ or ‘at least I’m pretty-Harriette’#during the sketching process#maybe some version of instrumental for Car Radio too I can’t recall. was kinda zoning out#anyways the dreading feeling of inadequacy haunts me often#my esteem tumbles and falls frequently but I can’t catch a grip this year it seems#got me worried that I could be experiencing more than simple burnout or laziness#I don’t want to go back to experiencing anhedonia again#anyways haha silly puzzle guy got injured whoopsies#I just wish I wasn’t regressing into that low confidence spiral again#I don’t want to be the kind of person who uses self-deprication and personal belittlement as a shield from feared criticism#but all my shortcomings are so glaringly obvious to me. Everthing I could be doing better. Especially when others do it effortlessly#guess this is all just part of being human#I’m good enough. I’m glad for what I have been able to do. And I’ll be able to do much more with time <3#doodles#sketches
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I have almost entirely ~recovered~ from my biggest anxiety/OCD setback in years (since october after 2 entire years of complete stability so knowing that it is possible to feel normal ALSO helps) and since I still feel pretty... sensitive emotionally. But it's cool to see that the coping techniques I learnt still work even if the thoughts Do come back. For some people it helps to remind themselves that they're thoughts so they're not real, for me reminding myself that they're fleeting by nature is helpful
#text#the ocd itself ive managed what remains is the existential dread but i get it very intensely but i don't spiral anymore it just passes#personal
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