#haha i’m spiraling still
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another silly thought i had through out veilguard:
morrigan is shown to be with the inquisitor at all times after rook meets them the first time. this is true for every inky, regardless of romance, but i’d like to think this:
morrigan retains mythal’s memories and she knows how much she hurt solas. lavellan was the one person IN THE ENTIRE WORLD OF THEDAS who brought back solas’s true nature: wisdom. mythal brought out solas’s worst: his pride.
i like to think morrigan is aware of this and as both the successor to mythal and the inquisitor’s friend, she makes a promise to keep lavellan safe so she could return not only the key to breaking solas’s chains with mythal’s essence, but the means of recovering his true nature of wisdom afterwards.
because that’s what morrigan is all about! she wants to preserve the lost histories that thedas has forgotten or tried to bury. she’s recovering an ancient spirit’s true nature! wisdom is one of the rarest spirits in the fade! of course morrigan wants to see the dread wolf simply be who he always was: solas, spirit of wisdom. and lavellan will be the one to help him recover this long-buried part of himself. for as long as it takes.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#solas#f!lavellan#solavellan#dragon age morrigan#mythal#fen’harel#the dread wolf#haha i’m spiraling still#idk if this makes sense to anyone else but#the writing in this game is so good if you just look between the lines
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the party in a 2000s AU dressing as the young avengers for halloween. do you see the vision.
specifically lumax as kate and eli but like the others match up pretty well as well.
#got hit with the realisation that there are six party members and there were originally 6 young avengers#and spiralled a bit from there#lumax#sorry to repeatedly be a marvel fan on my stranger things sideblog do you still think i’m cool#byler as billy and teddy. el as cassie. dustin as nate.#thinking so many thoughts rn#‘do you see the vision’ not on this version of the team actually haha get it (sorry)#only tangentially related but erica would LOVE america chavez oh my god
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𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: Aizawa wasn't really the one to keep you tied up like one of his captives, his scarf only delicately wrapping your wrists every now and then– but when you just wouldn't keep still...
warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, fem!reader, tired!aizawa, bondage (aizawa's scarf), positions: missionary & riding, p in v intercourse, slight dirty talk & praising, mentions of cunnilingus, creampie, bit of frustration (reader squirms and he slips out), aizawa fucks reader after a mission basically (he's v blunt).
a/n: haven't thought about him for a minute so i took the liberty of watching a couple scenes of him in action and- yeah i'm still obsessed haha. wc: 600ish. v-day m.list | m.list
thirst count: 1
divider credit: @hitobaby & @firefly-graphics
Aizawa had you pinned– binded up in his scarf with his cock driving you up a wall. He was still in his pro hero get up, his goggles pushed up into his hair so he could see you properly and his hands tightened their grip on the scarf as he picked up his thrusts. You had your legs wide for him, trying desperately to keep up with his stamina, but the idea of his scarf wrapped around you made you squirm.
You felt like you were one of the villains he’s captured, completely immobilized in a way that made you so fucking wet. Your pussy squelched every time he fucked into you, your legs shaking around him as you tried to wrap them around his waist– but you just couldn’t and ended up arching your back a little too much, causing him to slip out.
A sharp groan escaped him, his grip falling away from the restraints and you fell back onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. You wanted to be closer to him, but he made it difficult with his scarf. “Sho–”
“I won’t say it again, Y/N.” You heard Aizawa say above you before flipping you both over, forcing you to straddle his waist. “Stay still this time.”
Sometimes you needed to fuck the tiredness out of him– not this time though, his body was reeling for more of your dripping cunt and you were making it nearly impossible for him to get anywhere with you. Not with the way you squirmed at every little thing he did, your pussy so incredibly sensitive tonight that it made him huff in frustration.
Maybe if you were in this position– hoisted on top of him, he could actually get somewhere.
His cock slipped back inside you with ease, your walls fluttering around him as you took him deep once more and a guttural moan was drawn from him as you sat down fully. “Good girl– stay like this for me... Let me do all the work.”
He drew the scarf around you, binding your chest, waist, and arms together in order to lift you up more steadily. You pouted at him once he resituated himself, the cloth holding you hostage as he aimed to bounce you on his cock.
And he sure fucking did, the first thrust sending you spiraling with ecstasy as he rammed into your sweet spot. God, he felt so much bigger this way– he was sooo deep in you, kissing your cervix everytime he fucked up into you with harsh pants falling from his lips.
Looking down at him past the hazy pleasure, his hair splayed out against the pillow and his eyes were lidded with desperate aching. He looked so tired– but with the way he had you rocking your hips down onto him, you wouldn’t be able to tell otherwise. The stubble on his face had grown out considerably, plaguing you with thoughts of him between your legs; lapping at your entrance afterwards. Maybe you should ask him– your impending orgasm rushing up your spine as his scarf got tighter around you.
You watched his wrists curve around the scarf, pulling it taut and his muscles flexed as he held it in place. “S-Sho–”
“Yeah?”
“Clean me up afterwards?” You whined innocently before spasming around his cock, your eyes rolling back as you were pushed over the edge by the stutter of his hips. Aizawa groaned out as you clenched his cock harshly, his movements stilling as he came inside you from your dirty question.
“Cum on my tongue quickly now– I’m tired.” You knew it wasn’t going to be quick, his tongue had to caress every inch before he’s ever satisfied.
#𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝑒'𝓈 𝓋𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 ꨄ#𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚜 ☾#mha smut#mha x female reader#mha x reader#mha x y/n#mha x you#my hero academia smut#my hero academia x y/n#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia x you#aizawa smut#aizawa x reader#aizawa x y/n#aizawa x you#aizawa x female reader#aizawa shota x reader#aizawa shota smut#aizawa shota x you#aizawa shōta#aizawa shouta#fem reader#𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 ✰
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minted: three (explicit) | myg
title: minted: part three (m) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader series: masterlist | one | two rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; haegeum au , gang au summary: at this point, you would do anything to forget. including the unthinkable with a gangster. note: sooo this series basically saved my writing slump haha. i am still having the time of my life and i’m so excited to show y’all more of this minted universe. and to also show you just how spicy things can get❤️🔥 note 2: this is ofc a present for hali @sailoryooons that spiraled into a whole universe. still always gonna thank nary @joonary for letting me use the vendor reader idea, as well! also happy birthday to @remmykinsff @awbells @keylime4eva @aaclariww and @noshit-cantfindagoodone!! to everyone else having a bday around this time, this is my gift to you hehehe. warnings: language, drugs, alcohol, slow burn, murder mentions, gang activity, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, chains bc of course :)), world-building, reader is still sassy, yoongi is still infuriating, tension explicit warnings: under the cut! drop date: december 9th, 2024, 9:03pm est word count: 12.3k 😀👍
explicit warnings: i know it’s a slow burn but there’s definitely smut lol, choking, head/hair tugging, penetration, oral (f rec), backshotssss, marking bye, rough sex, ass play, breast play, his hands are a nice necklace😀, taunting cus reader’s an icon, thighs, breath play, spanking, hand job, protected sex, multiple orgasms, restraints (his hands, robe tie), brat!reader but who is honestly shocked🙂↔️, brat tamer!yoongi lmao, yoongi is a menace i’m sorryyyy, but reader is…?????, need them both™, teasing, rawdogging HELLO?? (pls wrap it up fr!), commanding yoongi a ha ha, pain kink, cowgirl🙂↕️, this is just the calm before a whole damn storm
—
—
“But,” you exhale with a shake. “Just for tonight…”
This is it.
The brink of no return.
Your soul dips into the dark.
“Please make me fucking forget.”
Did you go too far?
Is there a limit to his accommodation? Did you actually think this was gonna be easy?
When silence swirls between your robes, you start to second guess your demand.
But Yoongi simply stares before stepping aside, allowing you to enter his room with jellied legs.
This is madness, but you’re gonna go through with it. Whatever the hell this will be. Because you may not know much, but you figure all men sit up the same when sex is on the table.
This man, though...
Quite frankly, you aren’t sure about anything when it comes to him. Unless it’s about him doing something questionable. Then there’s no question about it.
The enigma himself makes no conversation as you step inside, even as your eyes roam around a cleaner, more put-together room than when you left the first time. Did Yoongi clean this much while you made a mess of your dreams?
The only answer you get is a door shutting, followed by a massive presence at your back. Before you can so much as turn around, the first words on your shoulders burn like embers,
“Was he your first.”
Fuck.
This isn’t what you approached him for. He’s supposed to make you forget, not remember. Remember?
You don’t turn around; you don’t respond right away. Instead, you swallow before focusing very hard on the fact that Yoongi sleeps on the bedside nearest the window. At least, judging by the way the covers are flipped. You happen to prefer the side opposite.
The heat from his body proves soft but intense, and you can’t help but close your eyes when you finally answer with a question,
“Do you remember yours?”
“Yes.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
“No.”
Your vision lowers to the rug lying still under the bed. A splash of light grey amongst a darkened, moonlit sea.
No matter how quick Yoongi answers. No matter how even his tone.
He still remembers it, too.
But this isn’t what you expected when you walked in here. You assumed this man was going to get right to it, save no room for you to second guess yourself. Clearly he gave zero shits about kissing you in that taxi, and he damn near undressed you in the living room.
So what’s the holdup here? Does he want this for real? Or not?
Head at a slight angle, you admit with a hint of finality, “I don’t wanna talk about that.”
“Mm.” A warm, rough hand subtly tugs at your belt, and prominent knuckles nudge through the smooth material of your robe. “So what are you really here for.”
Your eyes blink thrice.
Yoongi cannot be serious. Does he really not know?
No. He knows. With a shift of your jaw, you realize he’s just fucking with you, purposefully not in the way you want. “You’re being difficult.”
“You woke me up.”
Ah. That’s fair.
“So tell me.”
Well. If you’re gonna have to spell things out for him, he’s gonna be waiting for awhile. Because the more you stand here not doing anything, the harder it is to gather a little thing called courage. Courage to meet the beast in his den, and madness to let him devour you whole. Now you have neither. Neither, neither, neither.
Awkwardness sticks to your throat until it’s jammed, and you can barely mush your lips together to form sounds. The courage you speak of flees before you can wrangle it, and what’s left of your answer tumbles out like boulders, “This is.. I don’t.. I can’t.”
“You can.”
“It’s,” you huff, noting that you don’t like this horrible mix of hesitation and anger, “It’s… I’m—”
Your vision jolts as you feel a quick tug shit you’re spinning fuck your back just hit a wall—
“Of all things today,” Yoongi murmurs with slits for eyes, “This is what gets you to shut up?”
Damn it.
You don’t even have a rebuttal. Because he’s right. Yoongi’s sharp discernment is millimeters from your face and you have no intention to move nor speak. Only quick breaths. Only shaky exhales.
But you do swallow.
Which brings out a sound you will never admit you like: a breathy, condescending laugh, as coarse and as soft as his touch.
“You mean to tell me,” he observes, tilting your chin while his irises blaze dark, “You came all the way in here for nothing?”
“No, I—”
“All that talk, and for what.”
Defend yourself. Say something. Say just one word two words any words—
Did Yoongi just pat your cheek? ..Twice?
Why did you kinda like that—
“Makes no sense,” he ponders aloud, lolling his head and staring down your crumpled lips. “Who even are you..”
Now that's an easy one. You always have the answer to that question.
“No one,” you whisper. “Sorry to disappoint you.”
Seems like the people back home aren’t the only ones you’ll let down. If Yoongi keeps that question loaded in the chamber, he’s gonna keep shooting the same target. Over, and over, and over.
But you don’t have to worry. Because he drops it, caging you in with a hand near your stiff, risen shoulder, “So what are you here for.”
This is a mistake. Either Yoongi doesn’t want this, or he’s being frustrating on purpose and your fire is both stoked and quelled. “Now I don’t know for sure.”
“The more you stall the harder it gets,” he goads with a lick of teasing. And for a split, minuscule second, you wonder if that meant more than one thing.
Goddamn, he’s annoying. He’s outright savoring this.
Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised. You woke him up for god’s sake. If someone did this same thing to you after the day you’ve had, you wouldn’t have even let them in.
Unfortunately for you, Yoongi’s version of dealing with a midnight inconvenience is whittling them down until they leave—
“So you can tell my bellhop off but I get nothing, huh.”
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
You’re so taken aback that you can only ask, “What?”
Mercifully, the dragon gives you air, straightening before leaving your personal space.
Your focus should be on his words. You know this. But he uses this moment to rake his hair, and words are no match for the sleeve cascading down his inked forearm.
Even as his hair flows in waves, you still cling to his tattoos as he looks downward in thought. “You think I wouldn’t check who the fuck was coming up here?”
It takes you a second to process.
But you realize what this means and you fall silent again.
Yoongi saw that? All of that? You acted without much thought, and if he really did see and hear everything that went down, there’s a chance he thinks a lot differently about you now. No wonder he’s so thrown by this switch in behavior.
But on the other hand.. The way he touched you in the living room. Was all that because of what he saw? Is that side of you the one that pulled him close?
You thought his parting would allow you room to breathe. How very wrong you were.
Shoving all contemplation aside, you decide to coat the room with concern, your assertion making a brief comeback, “He said a lot of shit, Yoongi. What was that about?”
He languidly approaches the long table at your side—one you faintly noticed while leaving the room the first time. Unbothered, he slides unhurried fingers over a gun, stopping on the barrel before reaching for something less lethal.
A decanter, it seems. Liquid flows from the container into a smaller glass, and you assume it’s whisky from the deep amber tones and luscious pour.
When you wonder where else Yoongi litters his weapons, he cuts through your surveying,
“You really wanna know?”
Looking up, you nod.
He sets the bottle down with a dull clink. “He took his chances.”
“His.. What?”
Now what the hell could this man mean by that? You were clearly being coaxed into leaving the premises, vaguely feeling like something seemed off. How is he being so dismissive about all this?
Slowly, Yoongi shakes his head, looking out into the night while taking his initial sip. “I don’t come here often. But when I do, I come alone.” Long fingers nestle his cup perfectly as he explains further, “It’s been awhile, so. Had to feel out the staff.”
The staff. Is that why Yoongi held your hand? To weasel someone out? You really thought he meant it when he said he just wanted to…
How naive.
“His plan could’ve been solid.”
“But what?” You ask, newfound frustration clipping your tone.
Yoongi slides you a look over the rim of his glass. “He didn’t know who he’d be dealing with.”
Your eyes roll so far they strain.
But this begs a question. Does he mean dealing with you? Or him? Surely he meant your little show at the elevator but he could very well mean himself.
Facts are facts. Would Yoongi really trade il-don for you? Absolutely not. So you have to assume he’s mostly talking about the latter.
Your scoff is pitched to the side, “Of course. You wouldn’t trade il-don for anything.”
Yoongi pauses, not acknowledging your comment in the slightest as he strolls back your way. “Something I am curious about..” As he leans in, musk and whisky invade both your space and senses. And you hate, hate, hate that you need more of it. “Who was he talking to?”
“Someone he royally pissed off.”
“Mm.”
“You’re not gonna punish him?”
“Me? Nah.” Leaning on the sideboard, he stares out the windows across the room. Your vision follows suit. “Not until I have to.”
If what happened wasn’t enough to warrant a punishment, you’re morbidly curious about what ticks the box. “I figured he’d be dead by now. At least for trespassing.”
Yoongi only shrugs. “Grey zones aren’t just amnesty for the clans. Anything goes here, too, so a ransom attempt isn’t surprising.”
This man really doesn’t stand on black or white. Here you are with eggs for brains discovering you were almost taken instead of saved, and he’s chalking it up to, what, just another Tuesday? Or is it still Monday? You don’t even know anymore.
Your question leaves you a little scuffed. Because you feel exactly like leftover goods. The fruit at the back. “Are you always this heartless?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Great.
So much for being… Safe up… here…
You glance at the touch on your hip, and your eyes traverse up his arm as he toys with your belt again.
Shouldn’t you feel disgusted? Shouldn’t you be walking away? It’s crystal clear how little this man thinks of you, or anyone for that matter. He probably brought you along just to be a shield for his precious il-don. So why can’t you bring yourself to leave?
Your knot starts to loosen.
His voice begins to flow.
“But if you’re gonna go for what’s mine, don’t be an idiot.”
Wait.
No. Nope. Stop thinking about what that could mean. Because if you think too hard, it will only leave you disappointed.
But there’s something you won’t stop doing. And Yoongi knows you won’t. So as he keeps playing at your waist, your words come out in shudders,
“Can’t believe you used me.”
Yoongi hums, and it makes you shiver when his touch leaves you to rest against wood counters. “You’re about to use me, too.”
Fucking hell, he’s right.
“Gotta say I didn’t expect it, but..” Damn him and his head tilts. “I’m impressed.”
You’re too empty-headed that you can’t even process his words as genuine praise. His touches already feel like pops of lights in the night sky.
It’s a given. You aren’t prepared for him in the slightest.
“Come here.”
Lightly pulling your hand, Yoongi brings you to stand in front of him. And from this point of view, you become even more ensnared.
His robe flows down his taut build so beautifully, painting him like dark water over rolling hills. At his peak, the hair you’ve come to miss frames his face like artwork. Mesmerizing. Your downfall.
“You get one more chance. Tell me why I’m awake.”
Your brow lift is only a front. The rest of you is shaking, trembling, howling. “You clearly know.”
“Tell me anyway.”
Relentless. Will you shame yourself for wanting to see him use this same strategy on other people? Most likely. But will that stop you from thinking about it anyway? Absolutely, positively not.
But there’s another side of you that’s being comforted. And it’s the side that realizes how much he’s spoken, how much time you’ve spent without needing to watch behind your back.
Yoongi talking this much? It’s making things easier. And it’s strangely making you feel a little better, even if the subject matter isn’t the greatest topic in the universe.
After you steal a glance at the other whisky glass, you look into his eyes. Determined and decisive. Knowing exactly what you want at this very moment, because you just need a little more time.
“Tell me more. About grey zones.”
Something in the air freezes. And Yoongi’s brows crease so comically you almost laugh. “That’s it?”
“Yes.”
His nod is slow as he sets down his glass.
And you’re quickly hauled back so fast that you don’t have time to react.
A rush of air. The world topples. Soft sheets.
Dangerously, a thin chain sways above as Yoongi shrouds your body in silk and lingering smoke. A gasp escapes you as he peers into your eyes, and your senses fire as a commanding hand slides up your thigh.
“Final answer?”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck you know you want him and you still do but also talking to him isn’t half bad and maybe you’re just tired of being lonely—
Musk. Alcohol. Breathing hard, you take it all in. Slowly nodding because you can’t function otherwise, which makes a dragon flash teeth.
But he obliges without moving a muscle, so you’re left underneath a demon—robe dangerously close to opening and exposing everything once again.
A man of conviction, Yoongi does exactly as you ask. Eyes drooped, he continues his explanations, as if he didn’t just shove you into his enormous bed and tangle you under his legs,
“They started awhile ago, back when all the high-powers got locked in a grudge match. Took half the city with them.”
Immediately, your shoulders start to sink into his tale. “Half is a lot.”
“Everything went to shit,” he agrees. “Not even the Politicol could stop it all.”
“Bullshit.”
His level expression is enough to refute.
Now that’s a shock to learn. For as long as you can remember, the Politicol have always held more power than any force should ever have. If they weren’t able to keep this under control, the high-powers used to be ungodly.
Staring at the slippage on Yoongi’s shoulder, you wonder if those ink lines are to immortalize the ones that came before him. The history he must’ve grown up memorizing.
Still.. Why does he have them all? There’s no way he doesn’t know how disrespectful that is to all three clans.
But then again. He said he didn’t choose them himself. Which leads you nowhere in this unending maze.
Head disheveled; robe coming undone. To outsiders, you’d be at Yoongi’s mercy.
But in reality, you’re laser focused on him and his explanations. Especially when his voice scratches every itch just right. “So…” You watch his gaze slowly slide down your face. “What happened?”
Even now, Yoongi’s hands stay exactly where they are. The only thing that moves is the tinkling swing of his silver above your warming neck. “Deals were made, stripping power from all of them in certain sectors so that none could completely take over.”
“Why only in certain ones?”
A corner of his mouth quirks up. “Let’s just say the negotiations went how you think they did.”
Your eyes roll yet again. But another question pings into your mind as quick as the first one, knitting your brows. “Wait… Deals with the Politicol? Or each other? No way they would’ve let cowards put them all on a leash.”
At this, something interesting passes over Yoongi’s face.
But it flits away before you can snatch it for further inspection, and the shift of his leg against your thighs resets your brain.
“Any of the clans could’ve monopolized if they had the right resource, but. They weren’t ever gonna let outsiders get a piece. Called a truce and kept their mouths shut.”
Makes sense. You know exactly what resource he’s referring to. “The il-don.”
“That’s part of it.” He shifts again, but this time, your legs have more room to move. “But grey zones have priority infrastructure. The ones that keep the lights on. If you had the money, you had the people. And people are the best resource there is.”
It’s at this moment that a lot of things click into place.
And one of those is figuring out that you may have been a little wrong about the man above you.
Is he heartless? To a high degree. But that comes with being calculating. Patient. Smart. Everything that Yoongi has been this entire time you’ve tagged along.
He’s not keeping the il-don safe because he treasures it. It’s because the money is a tool. A tool to help him get what he wants whenever he needs. And leverage it for value instead of frivolous decisions and material things.
Yoongi must have really, really enjoyed your tangerines.
A stray touch finally makes its way inside your thigh. And you flare between your legs. Shivering. Aching. You’re sparkling inside but won’t allow yourself to fully explode. Not when he’s revealing so much without telling. Not when you’re starting to see things from his angle.
“Keep talking,” you rush out, gripping his robe and squeezing his pelvis.
Though his fingers still light flares on your skin, Yoongi stops in his daring quest, observing your face without judgment.
“I like it,” you shakily admit. Because screw it, since you’ll never see him again. “Learning about all this.”
You sigh at his weight. His beautiful, strangely calming weight. “About you, too.”
Stopping all movements, Yoongi coats your skin with gravel. “What good will knowing all this do.”
He’s got a point. And it hammers home exactly what you were just thinking. “Nothing, maybe,” you answer, squeezing his robe a little longer.
Fuck, you really are this deprived. This lonely. Is bedding a dangerous man—this dangerous man—really better than being alone right now? A mental reset is outstandingly in order throughout the coming abysmal months.
You finish your weak explanation, hoping it’s enough to convince him,
“But it’s helping.”
Yoongi lifts his head to watch your eyes. And you observe how dark his are in return. How cold.
But yet.. Why do you also see…?
With a slight huff, you tack on, “And you aren’t so annoying to talk to right now.”
There it is. That spark you’ve seen before in dusty, tinkering streets. “Don’t push your luck.”
“I might.”
He exhales, shifting himself into a sitting position and facing the door. “The thing about grey zones.. No affiliation, no rules. You can be anyone here.”
When you lift your upper body to sit, you watch his side profile as you repeat, “Anyone?”
Yoongi turns to look at your lips.
You know there’s a question you want to ask. But for some reason, it’s difficult to say.
But eventually, you can’t help it. Because you’re intrigued. You’re haunted. And you really, really need this.
“Then who do you want me to be.”
He lets out a cross between a scoff and a laugh. Looking into your eyes, he asks in disbelief, “You?”
“I’m pretty good at pretending.”
“Sure you are.” He gives you another small grin before resting forearms on his knees. “But you don’t want my answer to that.”
Swallowing is proving too difficult. What the hell does he mean by that? Is it one big bluff or a real opinion? “You’re just being a pussy.”
All you get is the side of his cheek rising high.
Yeah. He’s not gonna tell you a damn thing.
“Forget about me then. Who are you right now?” You wait as his expression falls back to earth. “Agust? Or Yoongi?”
When you end with silence, you’re met with an approaching shadowed visage. And even in this moment, you sense static in the air, both of you poised and locked in a dangerous, thrilling dance.
“You tell me.”
Your breath cuts as he slips a finger inside your robe, and you dare not breathe when he pulls—slow, unhurried, intoxicating.
You’ve never felt quite like this.
Are you supposed to do something, too? Is there something that usually happens here? Your experience isn’t zero but it is clearly leagues below where it should be.
Before you can blink a third time, your garment is ever, ever so slightly off your shoulder.
And you haven’t uttered a damn thing.
So he keeps going, sliding it lower, and lower, until he reveals a part of you that you didn’t mean to reveal so suddenly before.
This time, it’s deliberate. And that makes it terrifying.
This is the point of no return. The slope of your chest barely keeps your robe from dipping any farther. It’s happening, and life between you will never be the same when it’s over.
And yet.
Your nerves speak up at the worst time.
“Get me a drink,” you whisper, “Then maybe I will.”
Yoongi flicks up an eyebrow before obliging, and you silently mourn the loss of his heated touch.
He walks over to pour you something neat, taking his time bringing both glasses to the bed. When you sit up properly, you habitually adjust your robe, scoffing at his hum.
“Thanks,” you whisper, taking the glass and smelling the piercing aroma. “Maybe this is what I needed all along.”
“You ever had sex before?”
The question is so sudden and blunt that you cough up a burning sip. “Ow, fuck..” Wincing, you wipe your mouth before breathing in scratchy inhales. “If you must know, I have.”
“Maybe you are good at pretending then,” Yoongi drawls. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Don’t get me wrong. This situation is new to me.”
His brow raises are definitely talking a lot for him.
“I’ve just never.. I dunno. Never had just one night.” Taking a more cautious sip, you continue. “Much less with someone like you.”
“Like me?”
“With a.. You know.” You fiddle with your glass. “A customer.”
When you hear his reaction, you stare at his raised cheek, stomach fluttering when he sighs downward,
“You can’t just say shit like that.”
“I can say whatever I want,” you counter. “Especially since I…”
You don’t wanna finish that. It helps that Yoongi doesn’t look your way still, taking a sip of his whisky instead. His locks swing forward as he leans, and you almost reach out to feel them. Maybe you’ll get to very soon. When you finally get over this final hurdle of outright shyness.
Why are you so timid right now? Why can’t you just tell him what you very obviously came in here for and get on with it? You’ve been decisive as fuck the rest of today, so what’s got your tongue pressed this time? Is it really your abysmal level of experience?
Or is it because you’re gravitating to more sides of him with each passing second?
“Since you what.”
“Since I don’t like you,” you snip.
Yoongi flashes teeth in amusement. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, shut up.” You take another drink, feeling the burn down your throat. “I don’t have to if it’s true.”
Both of you keep drinking in silence after that. Which makes things a weird mix of calm and awkward, considering what your original mission was.
Going over the events of today, it’s a wonder why you aren’t crashing into a dreamless sleep. You’ve been up and having the most exhausting day ever, and yet, you can’t imagine shutting your eyes.
Think of something else to talk about. Anything. Any topic you could possibly hold a conversation with Yoongi over.
What did he respond to before? No small talk, since the plantains thing from months ago was a bust. And when you conversed over ramyeon it was more of him angering you on purpose—wait a minute.
There was something you never circled back to.
And as soon as you ask him about it, he appears impressed you remembered,
“Were you bluffing when you said you knew what I was shopping for?”
“No,” he responds immediately. “And I know I’m right.”
“Prove it.”
Mouth curved at an annoying angle, Yoongi shoots you a look before placing his drink down, getting up to walk to a tall armoire.
Your eyes follow his every movement, even the way his ass moves under that damned robe. But soon, your jaw goes slack not because of his assets.
But because the motherfucker was right on the money.
How the… How the fuck did Yoongi know?
In front of your face lies exactly what you were searching for. Sleek. Minimal. Lightweight and visibly balanced. You don’t even want to keep shopping around because this is the only one you want.
How did he know you were shopping for daggers based on one single line of questioning?
“I wasn’t gonna show you until you asked,” he divulges. “Honestly, I was hoping you’d forget. This one was hard as fuck to track down.”
Eyes flicking up to his, you ask in wonder, “Can I…?”
He lifts it slightly, signaling that you can indeed hold it yourself.
And it’s perfect.
“Wow,” you breathe out, feeling along its edges and hilt. It’s all one continuous line, with metal so black and matted that you almost moan. “I don’t have much on me, but.. I’ll give you whatever you want for this.”
“Keep it.”
What?
“It’s yours.”
There’s no way he’s just gonna gift this to you. It’s perfectly crafted in material you can’t even find in Crane. And they have almost every class of ore in existence.
Who even is this man?
“Yoongi, this is…” You shake your head while extending it back. “I can’t just take this.”
“You can.” He fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist. “I did.”
Oh. Charming. The weapon you’re being gifted is stolen goods. “Well, in that case, I really can’t accept it.”
But goddamn, this is more than perfect. You can’t even pluck one finger off the handle. And you can’t change the fact that it was already taken, right? Right?
“At least…” Scowling at your own crumbling morals, you mumble, “Not without good reason.”
He looks at you over his shoulder. “Do I need a reason?”
“No,” you reply. “But I’d like one.”
Yoongi sighs long before moving his fingers. “I lied to you back there in the lobby.” Looking up at a clock instead of you, he works his jaw. “But this time, it really is just that.”
“You expect me to believe you?”
Fuck, the veins in his hands are so prominent when he laces them together. “No. But it’s better than those chopsticks you’re saving in the bathroom.”
Oh. So he saw those, too.
“Thank you,” is what you wave in white. Because that’s exactly how you feel and this one gesture does excuse some of his faults. Maybe. Or your standards have plummeted to the gutters. “I, umm. I usually keep one for self-defence. Just in case.”
Turning it over and back again, you marvel at its light but solid weight. “But I lost mine in the last rough raid before they suddenly stopped.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
“K.” Placing it on the closest nightstand, you go back to holding your glass between your hands. “One day I’ll pay you back somehow.”
Yoongi shoots that down on sight. “No need.”
“But I want to.”
He glares before picking up his alcohol. “Anyone that owes me shit gets treated a lot different.” The drink rests in his hand like a liquid gem. “So just accept it as a gift, doll.”
You’d laugh if you knew he was kidding. But you know he’s dead serious, so you only nod.
It’s quiet again as you both retreat into your minds.
Yoongi has the mental fortitude of a fortress it seems. Because he really is set on waiting until you tell him what you woke him up for, and it’s been awhile since this all started.
But being in his presence while the night is quiet is somewhat comforting. You’re finding it easy to think about other things now, especially after he gave you so much to mull over.
Like grey zones and how they came to be. It’s fascinating how you had no clue even though you should. Even though this whole conflict affected half the city.
Wanting to gain more insight, you blurt your curiosity, “How long ago were the grey zones fought over? Before everything was decided?”
“Years. Decades, at this point,” Yoongi answers, his gaze locked as you think about this timeline. “Most people don’t even bother knowing, though.”
“Why? This sounds like a big part of our history.”
“No one cares if a Crane kills a Dragon.” His tone shifts slightly. And you wouldn’t have caught it if not for his subtle sulk. “They only resent the blood they have to wipe from the street.”
Your lids lower all the same. Because that resonates deep within your chest, so much so that you feel your heart bend in its aching. “No one cares about us, either.”
When Yoongi catches your look, you give a sad excuse of a smile. “Being a vendor? Especially where I am? You quickly figure out how little you matter. You as a person, I mean.”
You slide fingers along the tiny rim of your glass, lost in the fibers of his rug more than anything else.
Maybe you’re just a loose fiber in the rug of this city. One that will pretend to run only to be swept back into the folds. “The only things that people remember are what you offer. Anything other than that isn’t worth their time.”
Lifting your chin, you save face. “Can’t say I won’t miss you.” May as well admit it all if you aren’t ever gonna see him again. “You were the only one that ever let me bother them.”
“You never bothered me.”
You look up to see him staring. Lip curled upward, you huff. “With all the looks you gave me? I find that hard to believe.”
Yoongi doesn’t laugh in return. “What would I gain from lying?”
Mm. That’s an interesting question. But the alcohol starts to talk for you as you have the balls to flirt. “People lie to get laid, for one.”
“Mm.” He takes a measured sip of his glass, the last dredges of it swaying at the bottom. “Can’t say I’ve ever needed to.”
“Shocker,” you drawl, sipping to match his pace. And it’s after this drink that you loosely admit, “This is really good, by the way.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm.” Lifting the glass to peer inside, you swirl it around before divulging a past you don’t talk about—ever. But what are rules of conversation when you want to stall? “My uncle got me into whisky a long time ago. But fruit stands don’t pay for top shelf alcohol.”
“Where’s he at now?”
“Uhh.” You look away. “Gone.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
He gets up, and you watch in silence as he makes his way to the sideboard. Stuff shifts around before he appears to pour another glass. And he stays there for a bit, black robe blending into all the dark decor.
“Yoongi?”
He turns.
“Can you keep talking?” You keep your drink steady between your robed legs. Buzzed and vulnerable, you offer an explanation, “Turns out there’s a lot I wanna forget right now.”
Like endings. And future endless days without your most frustrating, most dangerous, most favorite customer.
Yoongi pauses before walking back to the bed. When his thighs settle next to yours, he asks without much heart, “What do you wanna know.”
“You.”
His jaw shifts, and you feel a slight tug in your chest.
Was that too forward? Probably. But you’ll take what you can get, like a last meal chosen to hit every one of your desires. “Anything you wanna tell me, of course.”
Yoongi remains quiet. Which isn’t unexpected but still a little letdown.
“Not much to tell.”
Ah. Just more lies then. Maybe you should stick to the original plan. “Nothing at all?”
He looks at you, planting a hand on the bed to lean a little closer. “Nothing you’d wanna hear.”
You shift between his eyes. Wondering if it’s better not knowing or if you really do wanna give in.
Perhaps his eyes will speak for him instead. Glowing dark. Hints of ember and smoke. Years and years squeezed into those irises.
“What if I do,” you quietly question, catching the light on his alcohol-tainted lips.
Reaching out, you boldly place a thumb over one side, slowly brushing off excess liquid and marveling at how soft he is there. Tender, just like his name. “What if I don’t care.”
Yoongi waits for a moment before holding your wrist, the atmosphere trembling and buzzing around your shoulders. Oxygen depletes as he leans in close, his beautiful features almost touching yours.
You feel something locking into place. Something beautiful and terrifying. And it holds you down as you feel his hair, his warmth, his—
A noise blares into the room before you can feel yourself rushing upward, your body reacting on survival instinct alone. Glasses spill onto the rug and you don’t know what’s happening but lack of sleep lack of comfort lack of everything has you ready for—
Time stops.
Sounds muffle.
And your eyes flash wide as you see the tip of your blade pointed straight at Yoongi’s side.
Just as he’s poised with a gun pointed towards the door.
It’s a phone ringing.
A fucking. Telephone.
What have you done?
As Yoongi slowly shifts his gaze to your outstretched hand, you tremble in severe regret. Regret that you pulled this on him with the very weapon he gave you. Regret that he knows all there is to know about how you still feel about him.
But you didn’t mean to… You didn’t even think. And you abhor how you directed your fear at the one person that kept you alive. The one person you fucking saved.
When Yoongi lowers his gun, he doesn’t acknowledge the guilt on your face. But as he walks away to grab his device, his gaze flicks back to you before he answers across the room.
Shit.
You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up.
You weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t care. You really weren’t. But who knows what Yoongi will think of you after that shock of a face off.
Coming into his room was most definitely a mistake. Now you can’t wrangle your emotions for shit, head pounding with feelings and outcomes and adrenaline to the brim.
Yoongi’s close to the wide bathroom stairs, so you can’t hear what’s being said. He does keep looking at you, though, which keeps your fingers pressed against a hilt.
Are you in danger? Will Yoongi not want anything to do with you anymore? Is it alarming that you can’t decide which one is worse?
The call doesn’t last long.
And as soon as he hangs up, you’re sputtering like a broken fountain, dagger still wielded as he stalks forward—phone clunking to the ground. “Who was that.”
“No one.”
“What’s gonna happen to me.”
“Nothing.”
Fuck. You really did fuck everything up. Your brain is so battered that you’re gonna be skittish and paranoid for a long, long time. “Yoongi, I’m so—I didn’t mean to—It just happened—”
Forget it. It’s over. Your last interaction will haunt you forever and the only way you’ll experience what could’ve happened between you will be in your wildest darkest sweetest illest—
Burns flare at your eyes when Yoongi’s chest meets the quivering tip of your blade.
“Stop,” you wince out, a damning tear pinging to your feet. “Just stop.”
He starts to walk forward, which alarms you enough to step back because what the fuck is he doing! Why can’t your arms move? Why can’t you lower the fucking dagger?
“I can’t,” you croak. “I can’t move.”
You’ve been firing on all fronts the whole day. Even in your dreams, you’re in survival mode. You can’t unlock your arms because they fight for the rest of you. Your legs propel you when the rest of you wants to give up.
But that still doesn’t stop your heart from aching. It burns, it burns, it burns.
When Yoongi grips your wrist, you choke on a sob. When he calls you smart, you squeeze your eyes shut in shame. And when he whispers to drop the fucking blade or he’ll do it for you, you do so after a maddening pause.
It clunks to the ground when a gun does, and you’re suddenly spun until the backs of your knees hit something solid.
Immediately, you’re thrust back onto dark sheets again, tears now rolling into your ears as you instinctively let Yoongi smother you whole.
His hand slides to your inner thigh, and your mind reels when you start feeling a hardness on your stomach. Breath whooshes out of your mouth before you're covered in silk and muscle, and pleasure bursts from where he quickly devours your neck fuck.
Hands are quick to untie your robe as fire stokes your throat.
“I won’t ask again,” he vows with a voice that rumbles. “Tell me what you fuckin’ want.”
“Yoongi—”
“Say it and it’s yours.”
“Make me forget,” you shove through your teeth. “Just make me fucking forget.”
“How.”
Fuck lack of experience. Fuck being shy. You aren’t wasting another damn second and your emotions need all the release they can get. Loose lips, loose tongue, looser inhibitions.
The monster inside of you yanks at its chain, claws and claws at its confines screaming at you to give in. You need this. You want this, especially if Yoongi himself is gonna give it so willingly.
Just say it. Just say it.
“If this really is the last time I’ll see you…”
Yoongi stills as your eyes lock unblinking.
Tell him. Four words.
“Fuck me like it.”
A proverbial chain snaps as Yoongi dives into your neck, ravishing you and sucking hard on your vein. When you yelp, your clenched legs seem to encourage, and he thrusts forward to launch you up the bed with a purpose. With intention.
All to let you know what you just got yourself into.
His fingers light little fires along your skin, burning everything in their paths up your arms, your sides, squeezing into your imperfections and latching down. His lips set your being ablaze as he keeps feasting, causing your breaths to get shorter, and shorter, and shorter.
“So sensitive..”
When you feel the warm swipe of a tongue, your eyes scrunch shut as you shudder. Which makes the whole thing worse for you when Yoongi chuckles dark in return.
“I don’t think you’re ready for this.”
“Shut up,” you huff out, grasping for his robe and raking at his sleeves. “Of course I am—Fuck.”
His thumb rolls across your exposed nipple, pinching it to make you arch right up into his chest. “You sure?”
When the hell did he even open your robe? How did he do that so quick without you knowing?
You bite down on your lip to keep from screaming, nodding in determination while your brows almost kiss.
Watching your expression, Yoongi pinches again, biting his own lip while slowly spreading that shit grin. Your moan comes out more like a muted hum, which seems to displease.
“Uh uh,” he orders. “You’re gonna be loud for me.”
“But what if someone—”
“They won’t.”
He continues in his control, sliding a hand under your thigh to hitch it up before shoving it to the side.
And you know where he’s going. But it still shocks you all the same when his fingers make contact with your slick.
Your very, very wet slick.
Many, many things will haunt you for life. Your experiences. Your choices.
But right now? The only thing that will follow you to your grave is this distinct, biting, staccato batch of laughter. “You shouldn’t’ve ever come in here.”
Breath ragged, you watch as Yoongi concentrates, exploring your cunt with his long digits and hitting every nerve with perfection. When you rub against him, he growls, lifting shiny fingers to insert right into his mouth.
Sucking.
Licking.
And your eyes mirror his at once—as black and pulsing as fallen stars.
He swoops down at the same moment you tug on his clothing, his mouth latching onto the side of your neck he hasn’t ravaged. Impatient, his hand yanks the bottom of your robe to the side, fully exposing your legs and leaking folds while you grapple with your own obstacles.
It’s messy. It’s jilted. It’s exactly what you want.
As soon as you find the slit in his robe, you take a brave leap and reach for his cock, not knowing what you’re gonna find but having a vague idea based on his—
Oh. What.
Fuck, he’s gonna split you in two.
You’ve held one before. You know what they feel like. But this cannot be possible and you’re already mentally preparing yourself for your breaking point.
“You good?”
You snap your head right up, realizing how stunned you must be if he’s asking. “I… You’re fucking huge.”
Yoongi doesn’t react, but that somehow makes it more attractive. Like he knows. And he doesn’t deny a thing. “That a problem?”
“I mean… I think I’ve lived a good enough life.”
To your surprise, the man above breaks completely as you keep blabbering, shoulders shaking alongside those stupid dimples. Those beautiful, elusive dimples. Too bad this is the last time you’ll ever see them. “Did what I wanted.. Not everything, but most of my list.”
Yoongi’s still chuckling. And for a brief moment, you’re brought back to the days he was just a patron. Back to when you would think about him before bed, delighted to see him stop by.
This is him. This is Yoongi with you now.
Where was he this whole time? Was he really waiting until you answered him for real?
You went so far into your head that you missed the change in position. So it makes you jump like hell when you realize where his teal mop of hair resides. “Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?”
Between your thighs, Yoongi lifts a brow, locking your legs with tough arms before you can even move.
“Yoongi, you don’t have to—oh, fuck!”
The first contact of his tongue on your folds makes your eyes burst, your legs effectively being pinned down in their tensing. Jolts of lust spiral from your core as he licks, sucks, twirls around your clit like it’s second nature, and you feel yourself welcoming his every thrust.
This is happening. This is happening? You’ve never done this before, not that you’ll admit it. Whatever Yoongi’s doing is completely new territory for you and you don’t ever think you’ll leave. Permanent residence. No other land to discover.
Whines echoes throughout the room before you slap a hand over your mouth. Because the whole world will hear his name if you don’t. Especially when he adds fingers and curls them just right what the fuck!
He makes you forget. And forget. And forget. You even forget your own name. Only his. Saying it into your palm over and over and clawing his sheets with the other.
A low growl rumbles between your legs before you hear him purr, “Just like I fucking thought.”
What’d he say? He didn’t say that. You’re hearing things, you’re sure of it. There’s absolutely no way Yoongi’s imagined anything about you, much less what you taste like.
And the words keep coming as he whispers how tight you feel. How hot. How perfect you’re gonna fit him.
While all you can utter in return is gibberish mixed with the syllables of his name.
Pleasure rolls in waves as he learns every inch of your cunt, fingers drenched in your slick and the curves of his cheeks lathered in your scent. When he reaches beneath you to grope your ass, he gives a rough squeeze.
“Move your fucking hand.”
Your eyes fling wide.
“I wanna hear you.”
“No, I’m—there could be people—”
He clambers over you, robe wide open and revealing a body that rips your soul clean out. When he seizes your palm to shove it to the side, another monster starts to wake within your chest.
And this one takes treacherous pleasure in those slitted eyes.
“You’re gonna scream for me.”
“Or else what.”
The dark rumble. The rolling thunder.
Your other monster is starting to match his glint. “You don’t wanna do that with me, doll.”
“Do what?” you ask with flitting eyes.
When all you get is a sharp smirk in return, your stomach flips in desire and excitement. So when he slaps the side of your breast, you hum high with a delighted flinch.
“Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
Yes. This is what you came in here for. Your shyness will have to be comfortable with the unknown, but it’s also helping seeing Yoongi much more relaxed.
Like a normal person.
Especially when he leans over to open his bedside drawer, hair swaying as he grabs for what you think are condoms.
Your hunch is right when he rights himself again, teeth nicking a wrapper before tearing it in one sweep. When you start to clench your legs together in response, he shoves them back open with a thigh, robe parting to show exactly what’s going to splice you in half.
You’ll gladly take his amusement at your jaw unhinging. Because what you see is heaven sent.
Yoongi says nothing as he wraps himself fully, and he continues to be silent as you whisper,
“I wanna see you.”
It doesn’t take long for him to understand. As his length presses against your core, he slips off his dark robe, letting it slide down equally dark sheets before pouring onto the floor.
You’re just as quiet as he situates himself above your beating heart. Which is for the best. Your thoughts are better left unsaid.
All you can do is grip his arm, sliding your hand up until you can finally, finally brush his hair with your own fingers. Exhaling when you discover how soft it feels. How comfort can be found in something as trivial as tendrils.
“This is helping, too,” you murmur to his lips, inhaling what you realize is your own scent.
When he cradles your chin, your breath cuts. “Things happen when you say what you want.”
“If only it was always that easy.”
“It is with me.”
Your heart skips twice before tripping on itself, and you instinctively curl your palm against his head. “Everyone around you must be so lucky.”
An eyebrow lifts before he huffs. “Not talking about just anyone, love.”
…Huh?
What does he mean by that because shit you’re getting tugged forward he’s so strong—
“Now, if you’re gonna be difficult,” Yoongi warns. “Let’s give you enough time to reconsider.”
Your thighs widen as he positions himself at your entrance, cockhead rubbing along your folds as you tense.
“Uh uh.” He hums. “This is what you want, yeah?”
“It’s been awhile,” you spat, rolling your eyes when he shoots you a knowing look. “Just… give me a second.”
Obliging, Yoongi starts slow, making your head roll into the pillow as you accommodate his girth. Holy fuck, he’s big. But he’s sliding in easy after his little feast down there, which you piece together as one big prep for the main course.
“Fuck,” he groans, resisting every urge to plow straight into you. At least, from what you can decipher in his pinched features. If this feels amazing for you, you can’t even imagine what he must be feeling now. It only gives you butterflies knowing he’s following through with his word. “So fucking tight.”
“Not my fault you take up… so much space,” you grit through your teeth, neck straining as you blow air to the ceiling.
Fully sheathed, Yoongi rests inside until your muscles relax. And you only peel your eyes open when you start to slip into more pleasure than anything else.
Okay. You can do this. You can fit him surprisingly well—maybe too well—and you’re okay to keep going without restraint.
When you peer down your body, you expect him to look bored or indifferent. Like he’s wasting time dealing with you.
So it makes you shiver when Yoongi looks ready to ruin.
Toned arms flex at his sides, hands keeping your thighs held in their place. When a strand of vibrant hair falls, his chains spark in the moonlight streaming in from the windows. A dragon that waits. And waits.
You’re ready. Your demise will be your reward.
“I’m good,” you assure him. “You can move now—”
A second invisible chain snaps with a clink, and Yoongi launches into a thrust that has you seeing stars. You tumble through the dark as he thrusts again, mouth open with silent yells before you gnaw right into your lip.
“Relax for me,” he commands. “Just like that.”
Your cunt hugs him tight as you bounce even harder, his little grunts of praise making you mewl and whimper in bursts.
Fucking hell, this feels good.
You cannot wait to find out how it’ll feel when you piss him off.
His hands grip your hips, hosting you up onto his thighs as he thrusts hard into your cunt. Your body rocks in an arch, limp and at his mercy—which there is very little of. Enchanted, your lip tightens with the pull of your teeth, eyes squeezing shut as he feels so fucking good and hitting. Just. Right.
It all carries you so far gone that as soon as you feel a rush of air, the sting on your ass makes you react—piercing moan making both of you freeze.
And Yoongi’s eyes deepen a shade as he slowly grins. “There you go.”
“Don’t act like you—fuck!” His second swat has you grunting through your teeth, and his thrust forward at the same time he does it again has you whining. Monosyllabic, his name shoves out of your lungs, with each part more chipped than the next.
“What’s that, love?”
“Yoongi, please—”
“That’s right.” He clutches your sides so damn rough. “Say my fuckin’ name.”
And his pace pitches you into the sun, rocking so hard you won’t be surprised if the bed frame snaps in half. In thirds. In sevenths. Your legs go completely limp as he drives in, filling you and hitting a spot that pierces your eyes with stars and light and lust. Down down down you spiral, up up up you go. It’s only you and him now, with Yoongi plowing into you like his life ends come morning.
There’s nothing in the world that feels like this. Burdened by the dangerous weight of a man—this man—while feeling so light you could float? Absolutely nothing can compare.
Your body finally rests as he stops, but you get no breather as he flips you over with strong arms. Disoriented, you squeak as he tugs you backward, your ass rising in the air as your head is shoved into luxury cotton.
Sweet pain sears your ass again, and you gasp with wide eyes as you feel his cock at your entrance. “What are you—”
“Lift up. Higher.” He slides his dick up your folds. “You’re gonna like this.”
“You don’t speak for me—”
He thrusts into you as soon as you get accustomed to his length and size. And the place his thumb presses makes you scream into your pillow. His pillow. A hotel suite pillow that you’re biting to stay afloat.
How the fuck does that feel so good? How does all of this feel so good? His thumb on your asshole already has you melting, but the smacking of his sack against your clit makes you want to repent.
“So fucking—fuck.”
Drool strings from your mouth as your arms are tugged at the elbows, your whole upper body coming up for air. Precious precious air that’s cut off when Yoongi chokes you from behind.
“Yoo—!”
His strength slams your chest into the headboard, right at the edge of the bed before you feel the force of his palm hit the wall.
“What did I fucking say.���
“A lot.”
“I’m gonna hear you.”
“But—”
He shoves you flush against dark wood, your cheek smushing hard and your lips curling. “Let them hear you, too.”
You keep your moans muted until fingers are shoved down your throat. And you gargle until he yanks them out.
“That’s it. I know you can take it.”
“You’re easier…” Gritting your teeth in a smug grin, you taunt in a bold-faced lie, “Easier to take than I thought.”
His laughter is not lighthearted. “You’re still gonna go there, huh.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” you pout, eyes drooping from the euphoric shocks his thrusts provide. Sweat rolls down your arms as you slip on the wall, but it gives your chest a cool surface to rest. “Go where?”
Suddenly, the grinding stops. And your cunt feels abandoned as he pulls out so fast. When you think to spin around, he spanks your ass with a harsh, “Don’t move.”
Do you want to disobey? Yes. But you’re more curious than anything, so do as he says.
And your eyes light up when you realize what he comes back with.
“Now… I could use this,,” he warns, pressing a silky smooth robe tie along your neck. “Since you don’t wanna behave.”
“Do it,” you taunt, wishing like hell that he does. Yes, yes, yes. You’re drunk on lust and volcanic want and you will fight for nothing more. “You won’t.”
Your neck is rocked back before you feel him slap your ass. “Then stay still.”
And you obey as you feel your belt—or his, either one—wrap loosely around your column before it’s tied.
Gently, your chin is turned, and you’re surprised when you’re met with stern eyes. “Can you breathe.”
Blinking, you nod. “Yeah, I can.”
“Two taps if you’re out, understand?”
“Yes.”
A swift pat to your cheek. “What’d I say.”
“Two taps,” you repeat, figuring out fast that you’re liking this development a little too much. “If I’m out.”
Holy fuck the yank you feel is exhilarating, your body bending back as shock overcomes your senses.
Lidded eyes staring down at yours, he vows, “You better make them count or we never do this again.”
“I will, I will,” you rasp out, breath still coming to you fine albeit a little more harshly. “I promise.”
“Good girl.”
Wait, did he say again?
As he slips right back inside, you lose all passing trains of thought. Cunt filled while his fingers clog your mouth makes you traverse to another plane. Every part of you, at his mercy—
Then he yanks you backward and all that mercy burns in the flames of heaven. Flocks to the clouds of hell.
The belt is completely taut as you succumb to his thrusts. Hard. Fast. Rough thrusts make you cry out as he toys with you, gravelly hums tumbling down your back as you arch for him. All the sounds you make echo throughout the room, a symphony of mewls and moans as Yoongi controls your every move.
“Take it.”
“Hmm?”
“You want it,” he repeats. “So take it.”
Oh. Oh, he wants you to—Oh.
You start moving back and forth, doing exactly as he says. Taking what’s yours for the night and shamefully not forever.
But it turns out it’s not enough because he tugs.
“Like you fucking mean it.”
Fuck.
Groaning, you move with more intention, sliding up and down his cock and feeling full every time. It feels good having control, you muse, and imagining him watching your debauchery turns you on that much more.
Your thrusts turn to rough slams, friction running fast while you chase it with all your strength. The groans you hear sound primal, hissed taunts egging you on.
“Guess you can listen after all.”
“Fuck you.”
Another hard yank.
Your laugh only spurns him on.
Slaps to your ass, grabs to your breasts. Yoongi is worshipping every inch of you and you won’t even notice this until nights later when you’re alone. You’ll remember the way he squeezes just right, the way he fits so well, the places he hits with no hesitation nor guesswork. It’s pure experience strangling you with passion and you don’t even know how to embrace it all.
But then you start to feel it. Your breath tapering. It’s getting harder and harder to suck in air and you’re starting to see stars across your eyes.
When you reach an alarming point, you quickly slap his leg twice, oxygen gushing into your lungs right as he lets go.
You almost come on that exhilaration alone. Adrenaline pumps pumps pumps into your veins, eyes blowing black as he spins you around.
Hot, open mouth kisses pepper your burning throat, and you have the nerve to catapult him all the way back onto the bed.
Yoongi lets you top him with a laugh, and you immediately use this opportunity to pin him down with a chokehold. Wanting him to feel the same way you just did. Knowing deep in your soul that he wants it, too.
“Cute.”
“You asshole.”
Holy fuck, you can’t even recognize your own voice. It’s hoarse. It’s rugged.
It’s salacious.
He cocks a brow while peering down his nose. “You done?”
“What?” You blink. Slowly releasing his neck, you admit with a rasp, “No, that’s not what I.. I’m not done with you.”
Yoongi slides into a smirk, and you attempt to scoff with a burning throat.
You wanna tell him how good he is. How stupidly attentive he is. But all you settle for is something neutral. Safe. And maybe a little forward.
“Just felt like calling you that.”
Yoongi’s smile mellows into a line, and if you weren’t in such an evocative position, you would have thought it was genuine contemplation. But he slides hands up your thighs before slapping the side of your ass. “Get on.”
Fuck. You don’t really know how. At least, you don’t know how to do it without showing him you aren’t used to it.
So the confidence will keep getting faked. With a little help of your quick wit and tongue as you grab his length. “Didn’t hear a please.”
Yoongi huffs out amusement. “I don’t say that.”
His tip goes in fine. Fuck. Okay. You can do this you can do this. “Why am I not surprised—!”
He shoves you down as soon as you give him enough leeway, and you groan out as you catch yourself with hands on his chest.
“This is where you’re gonna live,” he says with confidence, laughing in condescension when you scowl. “Fuckin’ love it.”
He can’t say stuff like that.
You ride until you find a rhythm, rolling your body and finding the friction you want. It’s there for the taking. And he’s encouraging you with gravelly words and hums, with hands up your stomach and grasping your chest.
After a single swirl of your hips, he throws his bed back until his neck strains. “Fuck.”
So you take that cue, rotating between rides and swirls. When he tweaks and rolls thumbs around your nipples, you clench hard around him, and he does it until you moan to the ceiling.
A slap to your breast makes you whine, and you keep going before leaning forward, placing hands against his shoulders and bouncing your hips on his cock.
“—a fucking natural,” Yoongi praises, chuckling to himself as he toys with the silk streaming down your neck.
“Maybe I’ve just practiced.”
“Show me more then.”
Quickly, he tugs you down flush against him before grabbing your ass, slamming you down and pistoning up until you scream.
You start biting his shoulder to quell your shouts, which makes him moan loud enough to make you possessive. Wildly possessive. Before long, you feel yourself going limp on him, only for him, solely for his pleasure and yours.
“Just like that. There you go.”
You mewl into his skin as he grabs you, holding you down as he slams into you again and again and again. Drunk with power, you begin to mark his throat, devouring and feasting with reckless abandon.
Growling ragged, Yoongi flips your position and pins you face down, shoving up hard into your cunt before plowing. You fully lean into the yells now, saying his name and inching over the goddamn edge of the bed.
It’s there. Your release. It’s potent and it’s visceral and it’s everything you need need need—
“Yoongi, I’m close—”
He penetrates so far that you can taste him, and you come so harshly that you convulse. Squeezing like hell and quivering in a full body fold.
Holy shit, the screams. Is that you?
The sinister laughs of pride prove you right. “That’s my girl. Fucking scream.”
You can’t stop. All you know is extreme pleasure coursing through your veins, pulsing beautiful colors and making you arch like mad.
But you have more to handle. Yoongi prolongs your euphoria by yanking you back only to sink into you again, hands rubbing both nipples and tongue speaking deadly sins in your ear.
“You aren’t done,” he growls. “Lemme hear you again.”
“I can’t—”
“Liar.”
His name rips from your mouth as you surprise yourself, gushing around his length and squeezing in powerful pulses. Nothing exists. Nothing at all. Everything you know is a feeling, as vibrant and shimmering as the sun above your street back home.
All the heat you’ve ever felt coalesces along your skin, and the words whispered in your ear slide right down with your sweat. You aren’t quite sure what you hear. But judging by your preening, it has to be praise. Dirty, dirty, sinful praise.
When your limp weight is flipped, you allow your legs to be hoisted up with no resistance. Looking upward, you peel open lids to the equivalent of a king. A god. And your outright awe blocks your ears from catching what your dragon swears.
“—perfect,” he grits, inserting himself into your squelching folds. “Again.”
No fucking way you have more left in you. You’re already floating in the ether, buzzing in pleasure and sweat and ecstasy. If you come one more time you’ll be an empty shell.
“Earn it,” you boldly rasp out, grappling a bit of your spirit and reining it back one last time. “Take it, you bi—”
Your heart leaps up your throat as you’re pitched upward, groan serrated and high as you grin in triumph because it feels so fucking rewarding when he gives gives gives.
Letting everything go relaxes your folds, causing Yoongi to rock into you with pride and without resistance. His chain smacks against his pecs at the same pace as your bouncing chest, and you’re more than sure you’re gonna feel bruises on your legs where he sinks his claws.
Skin slapping skin. Mewls and gritted curses. Heady scent covers them all in a thick layer and you feel the light grow closer and closer, stronger this time than all the others before it. Why? Why do you know this one will pitch you over the edge for good?
Both of you may feel the same.
Because Yoongi suddenly shoves himself so far into you and presses his body flush against your shuddering shaking screaming form.
You pulse frantically around him, throat sore and ragged from your final cry as tears stream down your face. It feels so fucking gorgeous that it hurts, and you enter a plane so mystical it’s completely separate from your earthly vessel. The two of you become closer than one, and you feel Yoongi stutter in his groan before yanking out and ripping the condom off.
Hot spurts paint your skin—a sweaty, spent canvas that dips slow with your labored breaths. His own breathing is rough but not exhausted, and you chalk that up to the mountain of stamina and experience he has on you.
It’s done.
Thoroughly spent.
All the pent up emotions dissipate in a slow descent. The chaos of today finally lowers its head, your monsters making their ways back into their cages. Moonlight shines brighter. Fuller.
Illuminating a man in silver as he slowly heads into the bathroom.
Holy fuck. You just slept with a gangster. With a Dragon.
With Yoongi.
There’s no way you can forget this. No way you can see yourself moving past this moment, even years and lifetimes from now. It doesn’t matter if Yoongi never thinks about you again, because something transpired in this room that you’ll keep locked away in your soul forever.
As he brings back a towel to wipe his essence from your skin, you wonder.
Was it all worth it?
Or will this torture you in every dream you’ll ever have?
A palm digs into the mattress before you feel weight and jewelry. The silk around your throat is carefully undone, and lazy, heated lips descend on your neck once more.
Bliss.
Sighing, you utter his name much softer now, telling him please without knowing what for.
“What do you want,” he whispers.
“I don’t know,” you admit in a wisp.
Yoongi keeps worshipping your throat, and you mewl when he reaches to rub your breast in a slow squeeze. When you drag your hand down to grip his cock, he tenses with a gritty hum.
“Careful, love,” he rumbles. “There’s a lot more I can do with you.”
“Tell me.” Your breath starts shorting in anticipation. “Tell me everything.”
“Nah.” When he slides forward, the bare tip of him meets your cunt, causing you to flinch with a bitten lip. “You’re just gonna have to wonder. Day, after day, after day.”
Fuck this guy with the spite of a thousand lives. You’re the one holding his cock, so how the fuck is he still being this sure of himself?
“Put it in,” you blurt, earning his gaze of utter confusion.
“What?”
“Just for a second.” You stroke him, feeling slick velvet and wetness coating your fingers. “That’s the last thing I want.”
His eyes search yours, and for the first time tonight, he’s the one that looks hesitant. “You sure…?”
“We’ll never do this again,” you whisper. “And I know you want it, too.”
His gaze holds yours for a moment, searching your eyes for any sense of doubt.
When he finds none, Yoongi positions himself at your entrance, and you feel his knuckles brush your folds before he sinks in. Slowly, cautiously, extraordinarily.
And both of you groan so full.
“Fuck,” Yoongi glowers, teeth sharp as he grounds them hard. His arm veins strain, shifting all his ink in pretty ebbs and flows. All his stomach snaps taut, and you can’t look away from his sheer look of concentration and lust. “Fuck.”
“Feels so good,” you gasp, enjoying the way he’s slowly grinding against your walls. All the slick from your releases allows smooth strokes, and you already feel close for yet another time. An unbelievable amount of orgasm in such a short span. You’ll never reach this peak. Not with anyone else. “What the fuck, I’m close again—”
“Shit—”
It happens in a snap. But more of a mellowed, drawn-out river flow than a full waterfall. Your eyes slowly roll before closing, and your chest arches slow as you rock back and forth on his cock. The squeezes are harder. The pulses are fuller. You’re milking him for all he’s worth, like your cunt won’t let go until it’s pumped him dry.
Which makes Yoongi lose his absolute mind, hissing as he pulls out quick before spilling onto you all over again. Again?
Holy fuck, again?
As he groans up above, his eyes are wiped dark completely. Which makes you wonder how you can still see stars embedded inside.
Was it all worth it?
You’ve never been more achingly sure.
It’s a long shot to know if he feels the same. And an even longer one for that to truly be the case.
But it’s okay.
This is the first, the last, the only time you have. And it was more than you could’ve ever asked for.
As he falls into the sheets next to you, both of you exhale harsh, hearts pounding and pounding into the bed and to the ceiling.
You can’t even move. Every single limb is sore from base to tip, and the door looks so, so far away.
When you whisper his name, you get a little acknowledgement at your side. Gathering all the strength you have left, you whisper,
“I know this is when I’d be kicked out, but.. I can’t move.”
The small puff of air you get in return sounds like a yes. But you aren’t sure until Yoongi verbally gives you a real answer,
“S’ok.”
All you can do is hum, noticing with a sharp pang that you feel soft towel wipes before the smooth slide of sheets up your bare skin.
“Just stay on your side.”
Ah.
Well. At least you aren’t alone for a night.
“And you.. Stay on yours,” you murmur, darkness seeping into your peripherals.
“Mm.”
Yoongi can be as cold and heartless and calculating as he wants. But you know he’s more than what he shows.
Because with a second sharp hit to the chest, you also realize the side you’re on is the side he was on before. He’s not gonna make you move just to keep his preference.
Don’t think too much about it. Do not.
“I wish everything was different,” you whisper, drifting into a dreamless sea. “I don’t want to hate you...”
Your forehead is swept by a warm hand. You cannot lift your lids any longer, but your ears still hang onto their efforts.
And the last thing you hear before succumbing to the dark is a lighter flick and a fact. A cold, expected, damning fact.
“You’ll always hate me.”
When you wake, you’re greeted by the same room you fell asleep in.
Sunlight cuts through grey skies to shine every surface, and you breathe in a musky, comforting scent as you stretch your limbs.
Did last night really happen?
The soreness between your bare legs is more than enough to prove so.
Slowly turning, you whisper to Yoongi that you’re ready to go when he is.
Only to find out that you’re talking to no one.
Shit.
Shooting up, you start to panic. Maybe he’s in the living room already? Getting ready to call someone to bring you back home?
Glancing at the nightstand on his side, you don’t spot the dagger he gifted you, brain grappling with what that could possibly mean.
Your ribs crackle when you bite back emotion. It’s all over.
Shifting back to swing your feet onto cold fibers, you pause with swimming eyes.
Because the blade rests ready on your nightstand, propped on a set of plain clothes in the perfect position you would need it to be.
Teeth clenched and eyes burning, you swipe it before rushing out of bed, head pulsing and a dull ache between your legs. “Fuck..”
The shirt and pants you’re given don’t exactly fit, but you’ll take what you can get as you punch limbs through long sleeves and high pants.
Yoongi isn’t here.
You feel it in your whole being, and you have no fucking clue why it hurts.
But if he’s not here…
Who do you start to hear outside the door?
You freeze, lungs expanding as you hold multiple breaths.
It sounds like talking. But also a myriad of sounds?
Heading into the bathroom, you silently glide across the floor before swiping up the chopsticks. Because yes, you’re still gonna save them. For defence. For keepsakes. For a grave reminder.
Tucking them in a pocket, you ready your dagger under your garment, pressing it flat against your skin like you were trained to do.
Slipping out into the hallway, you hear the sounds clearer. Movement. Slides of furniture.
What the hell is going on?
You’re about to retreat back into the room when a man crosses in front of the hall.
And his hair is strikingly…
Orange?
As he catches you in his vision, he stops on a dime, hand outstretched in greeting. “Hello!”
Your step back makes him laugh. But you’re not laughing in the slightest as you question,
“Where’s.. Where’s Agust?”
“Gone.” The smile spreading makes you squint. “Need to see him?”
Your answer is immediate.
“I’d rather die.”
-
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⟶ what do we feel! | 🥢 join the taglist 🥢 | masterlist
a/n: alright before i say anything else: use the bathroom after sex, and especially after doing it unprotected!! i normally include it so this is a rare exception. but yes. please use the bathroom after, and practice safe sex always! a/n 2: WHO COULD THAT BE AT THE END THERE... ahahah but seriously, i for one am still swirly eyed just thinking about what's coming for these two.. they have no idea what's in store and i'm itching to get the next part done! a/n 3: if there's something you liked about this or a line/scene/whatever thing you enjoyed, feel free to let me know! feedback is never expected, but always appreciated. if the interest level is high, that adds motivation like no other. thank you all for reading! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ minted masterlist
#FINALLY FINALLY#5000 words in two days just wanted to say i love y'all#bts fic#bts imagines#bts reactions#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi smut#bts fanfic#bts smut#ryenwrites#minted#minted3#*ryenfictalk#*latest
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wow this is nostalgic haha
#squiggalicious#coworker interpreted something i said that clearly wasn’t directed at him as being Directed At Him#this happened a lot when i was in high school like the most in ocuous shit would get turned on me and my ‘friends’#would act like i was this awful malicious person who intended to hurt them#they never asked for clarification. they just. assumed#and i’m evidently still sensitive to being treated that way because i am VERY hurt rn lol#yikes. hate having feelings. this shit is so annoying. i want to go home but i just started my shift#i mean i clocked out and left the entire building because i couldn’t compose myself but yknow. i do have to go back eventually#idk i just dont think it’s too much to ask for someone who’s supposed to be your friend to ask for clarification#if they think you’re saying something shitty about them? to their face??#like dude you’ve known me for over a year since fucking when do i talk to people like that?#jfc idk what to do i’m like doom spiraling so hard rn haha. i just want to escape and never look back#but that isn’t how adults handle things so i guess i’ll just. try to calm down. and try to be different
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Beneath the Ashes (I/II) - Azriel x Reader
Beneath the Ashes Part I - Azriel x Illyrian!Reader
Summary: Azriel finally finds the girl he’s been looking for all these years—his mate. But unfortunately for him, his mate happens to be an Illyrian who, upset over the fact that he’s turned his back on his own people, wants nothing to do with him. (Enemies to lovers vibes, angst)
a/n: based on this REQUEST. This is going to be a two part story because I kind of went a little too hard writing this haha. Thank you for your request and the inspiration! (Also I know a lot of you asked to be on a taglist for this story but since it’s only 2 parts I’m not gonna make one)
warnings: misogyny, sexism
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Part I of II
──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────
Azriel was not happy, to say the least. Not as he landed on the cold, hard ground of one of the Illyrian war camps in the northern region of the mountains. He internally cursed at Cassian for still being on his mating honeymoon with Nesta because now he was being forced to do things Cass would normally be in charge of—primarily dealing with the Illyrians.
It wasn't a secret that Azriel hated Illyria and all its people. Hated that he came from such a barbaric, backwards culture. He knew Cass was trying to do all he could to break the traditions Illyrians held, but Azriel had always told him they were a lost cause. If he could never see these damn mountains again, he'd consider it a blessing.
But, evidently, that was not a blessing he'd be allowed—at least, not until Cassian returned. For now, he was the one who was being sent out on these missions by his High Lord.
Rhys had gotten word that some commotion was happening in the camp that had its people up in arms about something. He had asked Azriel to go check it out and who was he to turn down a request from his brother? So here he was. He was just hoping to get this over with soon.
He had tried sending his shadows ahead of time to collect intel, but they had been acting weird ever since they returned to him. They had swarmed him with their cryptic messages.
Beautiful.
Our master must see.
Permission to kill, master?
Needless to say, Azriel had no fucking idea what any of that meant. He had given them no such permission to kill, at least, not until he could see for himself what was transpiring here.
He was passing by the training rings, ignoring the stares of the brutes who were working out and sparring within them, when he heard several sets of loud voices. He quickened his pace, following the voices into the residential section of the camp until he finally beheld what was causing the commotion.
Three males were on the porch of one of the cabins, restraining a female Illyrian, who was thrashing around like a wildcat, screaming, "Let me go, you assholes!"
Another male Azriel recognized as the War Lord of the camp was standing on the steps leading up to the small cabin, arms crossed and a sneer on his face. A male next to him was holding a blubbering Illyrian toddler, whose arms were outstretched towards the female with tears pouring down her chubby cheeks.
None of them had noticed him yet which Azriel used to his advantage. His shadows were already wailing when he let them loose. They spiraled towards the group, swirling around the males holding the female and yanking them away from her. All of their heads snapped in Azriel's direction except for the female. She tumbled to the ground but quickly scrambled to get up and rushed towards the male next to the War Lord, not even sparing a glance at what had caused the males to unleash her.
She went to grab the little girl from the male holding her but was quickly held back by the War Lord with a growl. The War Lord twisted her arms behind her back, holding her in place, but his glare was firmly set on Azriel.
Azriel's face displayed no emotions as he stalked forward, his hand ghosting over Truth-Teller.
"Shadowsinger," the War Lord bit out in greeting. The other males quickly got to their feet and stood at attention.
"Silas," Azriel said, not bothering to address him properly which made the male bristle, "Care to explain what is happening here?"
"None of your business, Shadowsinger," Silas hissed. "I have it under control."
"Doesn't seem like it," Azriel replied, coolly.
The female was still trying to break out of Silas's grip, cursing under her breath. He tightened his hold on her, causing her to hiss in pain as he twisted her wrists in his hands. Azriel's shadows seemed to hiss in response, poised to attack as soon as Azriel gave them permission.
Azriel's gaze fell on the female, noting the frustrated tears in her eyes. It seemed like there had been a scuffle. Her hair was half falling out of her braid, she had scrape marks on one of her cheeks, and a bruise was beginning to form on her jaw. One of her wings was flared out proudly while the other drooped to the floor at a weird angle. His fists clenched at the sight and when she finally looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, the breath was completely knocked out of his lungs.
Despite her tattered appearance, she was single-handedly the most beautiful female he had ever laid eyes on. He stood frozen for a moment, taken aback before he shook himself out of the spell she seemed to cast on him, realizing how inappropriate of a time it was to be ogling her.
"Let her go, Silas," Azriel commanded in a dark voice.
"I don't take orders from you," Silas spat out. "Besides, this female has been breaking the law for months now. We're taking her into custody."
"Fuck you," the female barked out, stomping on Silas's foot. The male cursed and went to strike her on the back of her head but Azriel's shadow caught his wrist in their grasp before he could.
"I said," Azriel growled, lowly, causing the males to shift in place, "Let her go."
"Fine," Silas sneered, though a tiny bit of fear flashed in his dark eyes. He pushed her to the ground in front of him. She was quick to spring back to her feet and rush towards the toddler who was still screeching. The male could hardly keep hold of the little girl.
"Let the babe go, too," Azriel snapped. The male scoffed but set the little girl down. She immediately ran to the female who bent down with her arms wide open, catching the little girl and standing with her firmly on her hip. The little girl's cries quieted down and she buried her small face in the female's neck.
"Would anyone like to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Azriel snarled, taking another step closer. Half the males mirrored his step back and he fought the urge to chuckle.
"Like I said," Silas snapped, "This female has been breaking the law—”
“What law?” Azriel asked, firmly.
“Females are not permitted to live alone nor own houses,” Silas barked out. “She has ignored our warnings—”
“My father left the cabin to me in his will!” The female shouted, causing the small toddler in her arms to whimper. She stroked the girl's hair, shushing her. “It belongs to me.”
“I don’t care what your father promised you,” Silas growled. “It is against the law for you to be living here alone. You must surrender the cabin and go live in the barracks with the other unwed females of marrying age. Your sister will be placed under the care of the matron.”
“Like hell I’m leaving her under the care of that female! You’re just going to have her wings clipped and force her to do grueling chores all day! She stays with me!”
“You are out of line! I knew your father wasn’t raising the two of you right. Ever since your mother passed away—”
“Don’t you dare say another word about my parents!”
The War Lord lunged towards the female with a growl but Azriel shadowed between them, unsheathing Truth-Teller and pressing it against the male’s throat.
“Lay a hand on her and I’ll gut you right here in front of all of your brutes,” Azriel snarled.
Silas stepped back with a scoff. “You want to stick your nose in our business? Fine, then she’s your problem. I expect her out of this house by the end of today, Shadowsinger, or there will be worse consequences.”
He stormed away, his entourage trailing behind him while sending glares to the female. Azriel waited until they were out of view before he turned to look at the female but she was gone from next to him, already walking up the steps to the cabin with the babe—her sister—on her hip.
Azriel went to follow her but she stormed into the cabin and slammed the door in his face before he could so much as utter a single word. He let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before he knocked on the door. When Rhys had mentioned a problem happening in this camp, he hadn't expected to deal with something like this. It would’ve been much easier if it had been a problem he could solve with his fists.
When she didn't answer, he knocked harder—nearly causing the door to shutter.
It flung open a second later, a seething female behind it. "I already told those assholes I'm not leaving. If you're here to tell me to pack up and move, you can kiss my ass."
Azriel had to stop his lips from twitching into an amused smirk at her words. He wasn't used to dealing with female Illyrians that had attitudes. Most of them kept their heads down and stayed quiet. His mother had been like that....
"I'm not here to tell you that," Azriel answered. "May I come inside?"
She leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms and staring him down. He found himself even more amused at how she was trying to intimidate him. Most fae avoided him and his gaze. But a female, whose head barely reached his shoulders, seemed to be completely unfazed by him.
"No, you may not," she snapped. "Anything you need to say to me can be said perfectly fine from where you're standing."
“Can I at least bring a healer to come check out your injuries?” He eyed the scrapes on her face, the bruise and her drooping wing. Azriel’s chest ached at the sight and anger pulsed under his skin. He wanted to turn around and go rip those males apart limb by limb for laying a hand on her.
“I don’t need your help, shadowsinger,” she spat out.
"Fine," Azriel sighed. "I was sent by the High Lord because there's been reports of someone here causing disarray. I'm going to assume that someone is you."
She shrugged, nonchalantly, her eyes flickering between his own and the shadows swirling around him that wouldn't shut up about how beautiful she was, how brave....They were singing her praise. It confused him. His shadows had never acted like this before.
When she failed to answer, Azriel cleared his throat, uncomfortably. “Will you answer my question?”
“Aren’t you the spymaster?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Shouldn’t you be able to gather intel yourself and not rely on a lowly Illyrian female?”
“A lowly Illyrian female?” Azriel raised an eyebrow at her crass words towards herself.
“Isn’t that how you and all the High Lord’s dogs view us?” Her tone was biting, her eyes filled with hate.
Azriel shifted, at a loss for words. He was used to being met with hostility by the Illyrians, but never usually from the females themselves. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
It was a lousy response, but he truly had no idea what to say. She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him and moved from the doorway, grasping the door.
“Even if I could help you, I wouldn’t care enough to do so,” she snapped. “Now, if that is all, you can kindly escort yourself off my property, shadowsinger. Thank you.”
The door slammed in his face a second later.
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Azriel returned a few hours later with a letter from the High Lord in his hands. He stormed through the camp, once again ignoring all the glares sent his way. He pushed his way inside the main war tent where Silas was sitting at his desk, twirling a dagger in his hands. His dark eyes looked up at him as he walked in, narrowing.
“You’re back,” Silas said, voice dripping with disdain. “I noticed that the female has still not been relocated from the cabin.”
Azriel strode forward and slammed the letter down on his desk. Silas’s eyes dipped down to it, quickly reading the short message before he looked back up at Azriel with a sneer. “What is this?”
“A notice from the High Lord and Lady,” Azriel answered, face unreadable. “Any laws that forbid a female from living alone or owning property are hereby revoked. This repeal shall be set in motion immediately.”
"I can read just fine, Shadowsinger," Silas snapped. "I meant what the fuck is this? Does Rhysand think he can just snap his fingers and remove laws that have been around for centuries? I refuse to allow this."
"You'll address the High Lord properly or I'll cut your tongue out for your disrespect," Azriel growled. "The High Lord and High Lady can do whatever they want. You will abide by these new laws or your title of War Lord in this camp will be revoked."
Silas looked like he wanted to say more, a vein in his forehead pulsing, but he only tightened his hands into fists and let out a long breath. "Very well then, Shadowsinger. I assume you've already informed Y/n of this?"
"Y/n?"
Silas smirked. "You ran to tattle on us to the High Lord and didn't even know the name of the bitch you—"
Before anything else could come out of the War Lord's mouth, Azriel stalked forward and kicked his desk over, causing both Silas and all his paperwork and trinkets to smash on the floor. The War Lord let out a pathetic gasp in fear, scrambling to his feet and pressing himself against the back of the tent.
"Talk about her like that again," Azriel snarled. "And I'll rip out your throat."
Silas quickly tried to school his composure but Azriel could still see the lingering terror in his eyes. Silas straightened out his leathers before glaring at him. "It's nice to see the Illyrian is still in you after all this time, Shadowsinger. Once a brute, always a brute—isn't that what you like to say?"
Azriel felt his pulse spike at Silas's words. He hated being reminded that he was Illyrian, even more so being compared to the worst of them. He wasn’t even sure why such rage had sparked in him in the first place. Silas's lips twitched into a smirk as he saw the way his words striked through him. But Azriel didn't wait around to hear what else the asshole had to say, letting his raging shadows swoop him into their darkness.
He stepped out of the shadows and onto the porch of the cabin he had been at earlier. He took several breaths, trying to calm himself before gently knocking on the door. After no one answered for a moment, he lifted his fist to knock again but the door was pulled open, leaving his hand to hover in the air. He dropped it to his side, narrowing his eyebrows as he was met with no one.
"Hewwo."
Azriel nearly jumped in fright before his gaze dropped to the toddler that stood in the doorway. It was the little girl from earlier, Y/n's sister. He swallowed harshly, eyes darting around the foyer of the cabin in hopes that her sister would pop out any second but no one came. He wasn't good with children, and wasn't used to being around them. Nyx was the only child he had ever really been around and he was still a baby.
Azriel sighed and crouched down on his haunches, making him more eye level for the little girl. Her shoulder length hair was the same color as her sister’s, her eyes too. The resemblance between the two of them was undeniable.
"Hello there," Azriel said as gently as he could. "Is your sister home by any chance?"
“Mhm,” the little girl hummed, busy watching the swirling shadows all around him.
"Do you think you can go get her for me?"
She shook her head no, her hair bobbing with the motion.
"Why not?" Azriel asked, keeping his voice light.
"Cause I'll get in trouble," she said with a little lisp. "Mm not 'pposed to open the door."
Azriel smiled at her, trying to appear friendly. He was surprised that she didn't seem scared of him or his shadows, as most kids were. "Don't worry, I won't tell her you opened the door for me. It can be our little secret."
She looked to be contemplating his promise, her little nose scrunched up. One of his shadows whisked forward and started swirling around her tiny frame. To Azriel's surprise, the little girl giggled, swiping her hand around to try and catch it.
"Suri, what are you—Get away from her!"
Y/n came thundering down the hall, yanking her sister away from the doorframe. Azriel stood to his full height, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as she glared at him before turning to look down at her sister.
"Suri, go to your room."
"No," Suri pouted, crossing her little arms. "I wanna play with the shadows."
Azriel's lips twitched. This was quite possibly the first time a child had ever seemed anything but scared of his shadows. It was oddly endearing.
"Go to your room," Y/n commanded in a stronger voice. "Now."
Suri stomped her foot but did as she was told, disappearing from his view.
"What are you doing back here?" She hissed, once her sister was gone.
Azriel pulled out the other parchment paper he had brought with him, the same notice he had given Silas. He held it out for her. "I came to deliver this."
She took the paper from him, glancing at him suspiciously. Azriel watched as her pretty doe eyes scanned the parchment, reading Rhysand's elegant script. To his surprise, she started to chuckle to herself. She handed it back to him, her face twisted into a mocking smirk.
"Do you honestly think this is going to stop them from trying to kick me out of this house?" She asked him, sarcastically. His eyebrows furrowed. "I'm guessing you're going to patrol this camp for a week or two to make sure they're adhering to the notice and then you'll wipe your hands clean of this all, pretending the High Lord solved everything. But you know the day you stop showing up here, Silas will be at my doorstep."
"I can assure you that we'll do everything we can to make sure all the WarLords follow these new laws," Azriel said, his face unreadable and his voice detached. She shook her head with a smile that lacked any warmth. “I promise you that.”
"Right," she drawled out, "Well, thank you so much for your help, shadowsinger."
She went to shut the door but Azriel stuck his hand out, catching it before she could. His gaze fell to her drooping wing, still bent at an awkward angle. "Please, let me bring a healer to attend to your wing."
Her wing could heal on her own. It would probably only take a day or two, but just seeing it made Azriel's chest ache. He knew the pain she must be in.
Her eyes narrowed. "Don't pretend like you care about my wings."
"I've broken a wing before, too," he explained. "I know how much it hurts. Please, let me help you."
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Do you want to know the difference between my wings and your's, shadowsinger? Your wings healed. You get to fly. Mine will never heal."
Azriel's gaze dropped back to her wings, now noticing the two scars—clipped. Her wings had been clipped. His heart dropped into his stomach, rage bubbling to the surface instead.
"Who?" he growled, his voice ice cold.
"Like I said," she bit out, "Don't pretend like you care."
"I do care," Azriel replied, fists clenching. And it was true, he did. Wing clipping was a heinous crime, one that had been outlawed since Rhys was sworn in as the High Lord of the Night Court. Of course, sometimes the practice of wing clipping still took place in remote camps that slipped through the cracks. "Wing clipping has been forbidden since—"
"I am well aware that wing clipping is forbidden," she snapped. "But like your stupid little notice, no one cares. And the High lord and all of his cronies, you included, Shadowsinger, have made it very clear that you don't either."
"We do care," Azriel argued. "We do. But we cannot keep watch of all the camps at all times. We rely on people reporting it—"
"Oh, spare me from hearing your excuses," she cut him off with a growl. "Do you want to know who did this to me? Here's a clue—go look in the High Lord's desk for a letter addressed from me. I've been sending one every single day for the past six years so there's bound to be at least one still around."
"Six...six years?" Azriel questioned, quietly. "You've been sending a letter every day for six years and not one of them was ever answered?"
Sure, Rhysand had been gone for fifty years, of course and the rest of them had been unable to leave Velaris thanks to him. Then, they had been busy with the war and didn’t have time to deal with inner court problems. But it had been two years since then and she was still sending letters. Letters looking for justice for what happened to her. Letters gone unanswered.
"Not a single one," she huffed.
"Y/n...I am so sorry—"
"Save it," she barked out. "Now, if we're done here, I'd like you to leave."
"Please, let me help you—"
Azriel choked in surprise as something within snapped. He couldn’t breath, taking a single step back as a golden thread weaved its way through the space between him and the female standing before him.
Before his brain could even process what just happened, the door was slammed in his face. But Azriel stood frozen on her porch. Frozen in shock because he had finally found his mate. After all these years, he had finally found the person he had been searching for.
And she absolutely hated him.
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Your wing had healed enough by the next morning that you could lift it off the ground, though it was rather painful to do so. Your pride made you suck it up, not wanting to go to the healer and have anyone touch your wings. No one had laid a hand on your wings since the day they were clipped and you wanted to keep it that way.
You got ready for the day, putting on one of your mother's old white, chemise dresses. It fell to the top of your boots, swishing around your ankles. You layered a dark blue skirt over it before putting on a front lace-up corset. You grimaced as you did up the buttons under your injured wings before you tightened the corset until it fit snuggly. Lastly, you threw on a cloak. It was snowing outside today and the last thing you needed was to freeze to death.
You stepped in the hallway, the cabin quiet. You went to wake up Suri to get her ready for the day. Normally she was still asleep, so you were surprised when you heard her voice the closer you got to the door to her bedroom.
"Bad doggy," she babbled, her voice muffled through the door. "You can't go in there."
Your eyes widened, realizing she was talking to someone or something. You quickly slammed her door open, eyes darting around in concern. Suri jumped as her door banged open, spinning around on her bed to look at you. A small shadow wisped behind her, like it was hiding.
"Suri?" You questioned. "Who were you talking to?"
"Issy!" Suri sang out, jumping off her bed in her little pajamas. She still called you issy, unable to pronounce your name easily or the word sister. "The doggy came back!"
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "The what?"
The shadow darted out from behind Suri, swirling around her and causing the little girl to giggle, "Doggy!"
Your eyes narrowed. One of Azriel's shadows had not only lingered behind, but had been staying with your baby sister. You felt your pulse spike with anger. As if it could sense your emotions, the shadow stopped swirling around and instead pressed itself on the floor like it was bashful and guilty.
You scoffed, "Go back to your master! We don't want you here."
The shadow wisped upwards, disappearing through the ceiling. A realization had you clenching your fists. Suri pouted. "Issy, you scared the doggy away!"
"That was not a dog—" you cut yourself off with a sigh. "Suri, go brush your teeth and your hair while I get breakfast ready, okay?"
"No," Suri grumbled, her tiny nose twitching. "Not unless you get doggy back!"
"If you do as I say, I'll make you strawberry pancakes for breakfast."
"Strawb'rry pancakies!" Suri squealed, the shadow momentarily forgotten. Satisfied with your deal, your sister rushed off to get ready. You left her to it, stalking outside through the backdoor. You walked a few paces away from the cabin, staring up at the roof, using a hand to block the rising sun from your eyes.
"I know you're up there!" you shouted. "Don't bother trying to hide!"
Footsteps were heard and then there was Azriel, peering down at you from his perch on your roof. His annoyingly beautiful face was near unreadable, his hair in a bit of disarray like he'd ran his hand through it one too many times. Dark circles were underneath his hazel eyes and those familiar shadows were whirling around him.
"Why are you on my roof?" You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Good morning, Y/n," Azriel said, his voice low and husky from disuse through the night. "I've been keeping watch. I wanted to make sure none of those males would bother you again."
"I already told you I don't need or want your help, Shadowsinger! Now get the fuck off my roof," you snarled at him. You didn't want him here. You didn't want his stupid shadows near you or Suri either. Besides, since when did he care what happened to you or any other Illyrian females? He had turned his back on his own people the day he ran off to the High Lord's perfect little city, pretending like he wasn't one of you, wasn't Illyrian.
Easy for him. He was a male that could get siphons to use his powers correctly, a male who hadn't been forced down and clipped. He could fly wherever he wanted, go wherever he wanted. He had money and resources you wouldn't even bother dreaming for. Azriel could wipe his hands clean and pretend like he hadn't been born in these mountains and hadn't left anyone behind to suffer when he left.
It was one thing to escape this brutalizing, barbaric way of living. It was another to gain power and influence within the court and not bother to help your own people. Azriel was a traitor and he could go to hell for all you cared.
You hated him for it. Hated him and all of his friends. Hated the High Lord and Lady who did little to help anyone here. Hated the General for leading your father to his death in the war. You hated them all.
Azriel let out a quiet sigh. "I know you don't need my help, but I... I can't just leave knowing those males might come back and hurt you again. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it."
"I don't care about your stupid promises," you bit back. "Get off my roof and go home, Azriel. You're not wanted here."
"I know you hate me and I know we've all let you down," Azriel replied, guilt shimmering in his eyes. "I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you, Y/n. I promise."
"Again with the promises! Your words mean nothing to me," you grumbled, tossing your hands in the air. "I don't have time for this. You know what? You want to spend all of eternity sitting on my roof, you go ahead! But I would really appreciate it if you would just fuck off!"
You didn't bother waiting for his response, storming back into your house and slamming the door shut behind you.
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A week went by and Azriel kept watch over you the entire time. Every day you would walk outside and peer up at the roof to see him perched there, oftentimes twirling his dagger in his hand lazily. He'd give you a small smile that looked more like a grimace and you'd roll your eyes and go back inside.
You hated that some part of you did feel better knowing he was there. You knew his reputation and you knew none of the males in this camp would bother you as long as he was there. But it still infuriated you to see his face every morning. To see him shake the snow off his wings. To see him glare down at everyone in your camp like you were all beneath him.
You especially hated how much Suri had come to love his shadows, always chasing them down the hallways of the cabin. You just wanted him gone.
And it seemed like you got your wish two weeks later.
It was nighttime, the house quiet now that you'd coaxed Suri into going to bed. You were getting ready for bed yourself, dressed in a nightgown and putting out the fire when a series of soft knocks caught your attention. You frowned, pausing to look at the door. Who would be coming by at this time? Certainly no one good.
You were debating on ignoring it when a dark shadow whisked its way underneath the door.
"Y/n," Azriel called out. "It's just me."
You rolled your eyes and opened your door, knowing he wouldn't leave until you did so.
"What?" You eyed him, taking in his disheveled appearance. You wondered how he survived spending the night in the snow. Just the small draft that came in from opening the door had you shivering. You hugged yourself, your hair blowing gently in the ice cold breeze.
Azriel seemed at a loss for words for a second, his eyes roaming down your body before he met your gaze. His cheeks turned a bit pink as you raised an eyebrow at him. He swallowed, his throat bobbing with the motion.
"I need to leave for a few days," Azriel finally said. "The High Lord is sending me on a small mission. I...I would feel a lot better if you'd let me take you and your sister somewhere else while I'm gone. I can set the two of you up in a nice inn or tavern in Velaris. Or you could stay at my personal residence. Just for a few days."
You stared at him utterly perplexed. "You're...you're joking, right?"
He shook his head looking dead serious. "No, Y/n, I'm not. I worry what will happen if I'm not here to watch over you. Please, just...just let me help. It might be nice for Suri to take her to Velaris and let her see the city."
"You're out of your mind," you hissed. "I'm not leaving my house and certainly not with you. I already told you I don't need your help."
You went to shut the door but Azriel reached out and grabbed it before you could.
"Please, I just want to help—"
“Azriel, I have survived here on my own for the past two years since my father died in the war,” you growled. “You can't sit on my roof forever. If you truly wanted to fix things, you would've done so centuries ago. So just leave, Azriel. And don't bother coming back."
“I do care,” Azriel pleaded. “Please—”
"I am not leaving," you snapped. "I am not letting those stupid males run me from my own home. I don't know why you even care! And stop with the whole 'I promised you' thing. You don’t even know me!”
He opened his mouth to say something else but you slammed the door shut in his face. You locked the deadbolt before letting out a sigh.
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Azriel was worried. Worried and scared and angry. Worried that Silas and his goons would bother his mate while he was gone. Scared that they’d hurt her. And angry at just the thought of that. His chest ached as he thought about his mate and her clear hatred towards him. He couldn’t blame her for it. She was right. He had abandoned Illyria a long time ago.
But that needed to change. He needed that to change. Not just for his mate’s sake but for her sister, for Nyx, for all the females and children whose lives were awful because of the males in charge of all their camps.
She had been the wake up call he needed. He had the privilege of being a male in Illyria. He got to keep his wings. Got to work at having a different life then the one he was born into. His mate hadn’t had those opportunities. She was flightless, stuck to the ground and stuck in her miserable camp.
Azriel wanted nothing more than to just grab her and her sister and get them far away from Illyria. To bring them to his apartment in Velaris where he could take care of them, could keep them safe.
But his mate didn’t trust him.
He would do anything to prove himself to her. Prove that he did care for her and all the other Illyrian females. No matter how much hate he was met with, he’d keep crawling back until he earned her forgiveness and a chance to give her a better life.
She deserved that more than anything. Not just because she was his mate but because she had been so strong all these years, standing up to males twice her size and keeping her sister’s wings from being mutilated like hers had been. She didn’t choose to be Illyrian anymore than he did.
And Gods, he wanted her to stop hating him. He wanted her to give him a chance. Just one chance to show her what she truly deserved. He had learned so much about her by just watching her this week and he knew that no other female would come close to capturing his heart and attention the way she had in just that short span of time he’d known her.
Azriel knew he didn’t deserve her or her forgiveness. He knew she was too good for him. Too beautiful, too pure of heart. He could see that just by the way she took care of her sister and the other females in her village, despite the torment it brought her from the males.
He let out a sigh, his eyes still locked on the camp of Autumn Soldiers. He was doing a reconnaissance mission. Beron was up to something again and these soldiers had been spotted on the coast.
It had been two days since he left his mate and so far, nothing had been unknowingly sent down the bond except for her normal moods she fluctuated with during the day.
He just needed to finish this mission and rush back to Velaris to drop off his report to Rhysand before he could get back to her. He normally liked to take his time on his missions but this was quite possibly the first time he ever had a want to get back faster. He was hoping to sneak into the River House and set his report on Rhys's desk without seeing anyone. He'd been ignoring and skipping family dinners for the past week and knew they'd have a lot to say about it.
Azriel faltered as a wave of fear crashed through him. No, not fear. Terror. Unbridled terror and then pain. He sucked in a breath, nearly falling from the tree he was perched in. He was frozen for a second before he realized what was happening---his mate was in danger.
It took him less than a second to decide to abandon the mission and shadow all the way back to the Illyrian mountains. Azriel let out a curse when he stepped out of the shadows in front of his mate's cabin to see it covered in flames. Someone had set it on fire and it was quickly crumbling under the flames. His heart was beating in his chest as he strained his ears to make sure no one was inside.
But then the most heart-stopping, chill inducing sound was heard ringing through the camp.
His mate's screams.
He sprinted towards the sound, his boots pounding against the cold hard ground. It led him to the town center where a crowd had formed, males hollering and shouting encouragement at whatever was happening.
Azriel pushed his way through the crowd, shoving aside male after male until he reached the front. His heart dropped in his stomach as he beheld what was happening before him.
His mate on her knees, holding up the tatters of her shirt to maintain her dignity. Silas standing behind with a whip in hand, raising it in the air again. Blood all over the white snow around his mate, staining it red. Tear streaks running down his mate's face, her beautiful face pale and twisted in pain. One of Silas's commanders holding a crying and screaming Suri, her tiny fists pounding on his chest.
Azriel wished he knew what happened next. Wished he had this memory to look back on whenever he remembered the rage he felt. But one second he was standing there staring at his mate in horror and the next second, he was surrounded by dead bodies with Truth-teller in his hand dripping with blood. The camp had fallen silent and his ears were ringing, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths.
Suri had been dropped in the chaos and had rushed towards her sister, throwing her small arms around her neck as she sobbed.
And his mate.
His beautiful mate was staring right at him, eyes wide from witnessing the carnage he had just unleashed in this camp. Silas laid dead behind her, his shadows still ravaging his body. Slit throats, broken necks on all the other males that laid dead at his feet. But his mate was looking at him.
Azriel took a step towards her, watching her carefully as she weakly wrapped an arm around her sister's body while her eyes never left his. And he knew the mating bond had just snapped for her, could see the realization in her eyes.
"N-no," she stammered out, her voice cracking. "No. Not you. Not...Not you! Anyone but you!"
Azriel could feel her dread pouring down the bond amidst the pain and terror she felt. He felt his heart crack in his chest, heard his shadows wailing as they too felt her pain and sorrow.
But his broken heart at finding his mate and hearing that she didn't want him was not important in this moment. Not as his mate's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she slumped to the ground.
Azriel rushed forward, scooping both his unconscious mate in his arms and her crying sister before disappearing in a whirl of screaming shadows.
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#acotar x you#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel acotar#illyrian#illyrians
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I had the idea late at night so idk if you don’t want to write that, i understand haha
Reader and azriel are mates and have been for a while, nesta and elain were made and feyre and rhys asked cassian and azriel to look after them. Reader was okay with it but elain showed her a different side then the others, where she is rude and is telling her az will be hers, reader tried to bring it up in private but no one believed her because elain is so nice in front of everyone. Elain starts to sit in readers place and stands next to az, so reader isn’t even going out anymore. Az has a lot of other missions as well and tells reader that he only loves her and elain means nothing to him, maybe elain overheard that. After a mission az gives rhys his reports and then fell asleep on the couch, elain lays down next to him but he is so out that he doesn’t even feel her, reader wants to see after az and sees that, when she is trying to leave, rhys finds her and she shows him everything that happened even the parts where elain was rude, reader then leaves for awhile to get away from everything and azriel just loses it. You could add more angst if you want but i would love for a happy end with az and reader maybe where is is also pregnant?
The Other Woman: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Spiraling thoughts
***
Elain Archeron was quickly becoming the bane of your existence.
You understood the she had gone through incomprehensible trauma along with her sister, and you understood why Rhys would appoint Azriel and Cassian to help them. You had no issue allowing your mate to help the poor girl come back to life, accepting her new fate. No, that was not the problem.
The problem was that she was a nasty, two-faced, bitch.
The first time it happened you were completely taken aback, shocked by the words that had come from the otherwise soft-spoken female.
“He’s going to be mine, you know.”
You had stilled your movements, turning slowly to see her peeking out from the library doors. “Excuse me?” You asked, certain you had misunderstood.
She gave a sneering smile. “Azriel. I’m going to make him mine.”
You couldn’t help the laugh that had burst from you. “Okay then,” you said, moving to continue walking. You made a note to bring it up to your mate later, warn him that Elain may have gotten too attached.
Unfortunately the following days had been hectic, Azriel was sent on a dangerous mission for Rhys. You hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to him, and with the state he came back in you had no interest in adding anything else to his plate.
It happened again a few days later.
“Why would he stay with you when i’m here?” She asked, looking you up and down.
You raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m sorry? What are you on about?”
She rolled her eyes. “Azriel, obviously. Why would he need you any longer? I’m certain I can satisfy him miles better than you can.”
“Mhm,” you mused, nodding at her wild claims. “Do you understand the mating bond?”
She made a noise of annoyance, crossing her arms in front of her. “I have a mate, and I can’t stand him. That ‘bond’ means nothing to me.”
“It means something to Az,” you said, staring her down. “What has he done that makes you think he’s interested?”
She gave a pretty smile, smoothing the skirts of her dress. “Feyre has Rhys, Nesta has Cassian. It only makes sense, does it not? Three sisters, three brothers. He’s smart enough to have already figured it out. The only thing standing in our way is you.”
You hummed at her delusions, turning to leave the room. “Have a nice night, Elain,” you said, acting as if she had just been talking about the weather. You refused to give her the satisfaction of upsetting you.
Some nights later you were sitting with Azriel as he caught up with his brothers, lost in thought while you sipped your wine. You heard a faint call of your name, turning to meet the concerned eyes of your husband. “Are you alright, my love?” He asked, scanning you over for anything amiss.
You smiled, shaking your head. “I’m fine, just thinking.”
“You’re thinking pretty hard there. Az was calling your name for ages,” Cassian laughed, but his eyes showed the same concern. You sighed, taking a bigger drink of your wine.
“I’ve just been dealing with something, that’s all,” you said, swirling the liquid in your glass nonchalantly. Azriel watched you closely, trying to read what was wrong.
“You can always tell us,” Rhys offered, tipping his glass your way.
You took a deep breath, looking down at your hands. “Have any of you ever had any issues with Elain?”
Three blank stares met yours.
“I’ll take that as a no, then,” you muttered into your wine.
“What kind of problems?” Azriel pressed, worry in his expression.
“She’s just been, a little….rude to me.”
Silence.
And then loud laughter.
“Elain?” Cassian gasped out, pounding on the table. “Quiet, docile, Elain? Are you sure you aren’t confusing her with Nesta?” You shot him a nasty look, Rhys’ own chuckle drawing your attention to him.
“How has she been rude?” He asked, not hiding the smile on his face.
You looked down at the ground, embarrassment coloring your cheeks. “Maybe i’m just reading into it. I thought she was jealous…that she was into Az.” You regretted even bringing the topic up as Cassian and Rhys broke out in more laughter.
“No way! Elain has a mate, remember? Why would she go after a married male?” You nodded at Cassian, acknowledging his words.
“Yea, i’m sure i’m just misunderstanding,” you mumbled, draining your glass in an instant. You stood, heading for the door.
“Aw now, we didn’t mean anything bad! It’s just such a shock that Elain would be trying to get Az!” Rhys called out behind you, trying to convince you to stay.
You looked back, eyes connecting with Azriel’s. “I’ll be up shortly,” he said, his unspoken words hanging in the air. He was not going to let his brothers get away with laughing at you. You gave him a small smile and continued out to your room, leaving him to deal with them.
***
Elain only grew worse after that. She started openly flirting with Azriel, laughing at anything he said and placing her hand playfully on his arm. He always pulled away from her, moving to stand by your side as a silent “Stop”.
She didn’t care.
Azriel spent the nights trying to convince you that Elain didn’t matter to him, that you were the only one for him. You wanted to believe him, needed to believe him, but the comments she made when no one else could hear were getting to you.
“You’re too ugly for him.”
“Don’t you think he would want someone younger? Are you even able to give him children at your ancient age?”
“I know he wants me. He looks at me when you aren’t paying attention.”
“You’re pathetic, you know. He deserves better. He deserves someone who can stand proudly at his side.”
Her words swam around your head, eating away at you. You were sinking down into yourself, drowning in self-doubt. What if she was right? What if Azriel really did deserve better?
You began spending more time locked away in your room, an attempt to avoid Elain’s nasty comments. You had no desire to see her throw herself at Azriel, and you didn’t think you could handle much more of her taunting. A rational part of you knew that this was ridiculous, your husband would never give her a second look. Another part of you was embarrassed that this young girl was so good at getting into your head, that she had rendered you a shell of yourself. The largest part of you, unfortunately, bought in to all she said and hid away in shame.
Azriel was getting progressively more worried about you.
“My love,” he murmured, stroking his hand through your hair as he held you close. “I have half a mind to tell Rhys to send her somewhere else. Why does she trouble you so?” He couldn’t understand how Elain had torn down his perfect wife, leaving this ghost in her place.
You buried your face farther into his chest, wishing you could just disappear. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”
He sighed and held you tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You are the stars in the sky, the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze under my wings. Nothing, and no one, is comparable to you. Especially not Elain Archeron. You are all there is for me, you are my everything. My heart and my soul. She is nothing to me.”
Tears fell from your eyes and his words prompted you to look up, the love shining on his face washing over you. “I know, Az. I know it’s foolish to allow her to make me doubt us.” You ducked your head down, ashamed. “Though sometimes I still wonder if you should’ve been mated to someone more powerful.”
Azriel clicked his tongue at your age-old concern, a conversation the two of you had gone over many times. “You know as well as I do that that’s not true. You were the one cauldron-made for me. We were sworn to each other from the day of our creation. Do not ever forget that.” He slipped a hand under your chin, bringing you back up to look at him. He studied your face like it was a painting, like he needed to memorize everything he saw. His thumb came up and brushed away your tears as he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. “Elain will never be what you are.” He kissed you again and again, swallowing your fears with his adoration.
Neither of you noticed the form of the female standing outside the slightly open door.
***
Azriel was tired, shuffling through the house after yet another mission. He hated that he had been gone so often recently, especially with the issues you’ve been having with Elain. He was sick with worry over the whole situation, and was growing aggravated with Rhys’ lack of action. Even when Azriel had spoken to his brother himself, the High Lord still struggled to believe his quiet sister-in-law was being so horrible. Az even went to Feyre, who got upset that he would accuse her sister of such things.
He ran a hand over his face, making his way to the library to find you. He was disheartened when he opened the doors and found you weren’t there. He took a seat on one of the leather couches, deciding to just wait for you there. Azriel knew that you often came around this time to browse the books, and he was too tired to continue searching for you. He gave a gentle tug on the bond to alert you that he was home before tipping his head back and closing his eyes.
***
Elain was positively delighted to find the sleeping form of the Shadowsinger. She looked around quickly to make sure no one saw as she gently closed the doors to the library behind her. She wasted no time in curling up next to him on the couch, resting her head in his lap. She slowly dragged his arm over her waist, a wicked smile coming across her face. She knew you would be coming to find him, and what a sight you would see when you did.
***
The second Cassian dropped you at the House of Wind you were practically running through the halls. When you had felt the tug that meant Azriel was back, you demanded Cass bring you home in the middle of lunch. He grumbled about not being done as you packaged the food up for him, pulling him from the little restaurant. You were in much better spirits today, Elain hadn’t approached you in days. When Cass suggested going down to Velaris to eat you had jumped at the opportunity, excited to be in the happy bustle of people who lived there.
You slid to a stop in front of the library, one of his shadows twisting around your legs. “Hello,” you cooed, a smile on your face. The shadow started moving faster, almost as if it were upset. Worry took over your heart then, concern that Azriel had gotten hurt.
You threw open the library doors and stopped dead in your tracks. There, on the couch, was Azriel. Uninjured, asleep.
And curled up on his lap was Elain.
You stood there in pure horror, not noticing Cassian coming up behind you. “What?” He said, taking in the sight in front of you. You didn’t realize you were shaking in rage until he put his hands on your arms, trying to pull you away.
“Get off of me,” you ground out, ripping your arms out of his grasp. Cassian called your name, trying to stop the explosion that was about to happen. Your vision was red, the anger and pain of seeing the two of them cuddled up like lovers too much to handle. “I’m going to kill them.”
“You will not,” came a powerful voice, Rhys stepping in front of you. “My office. Now.” You wanted to spit at his feet and tell him to shove off, but one look at his eyes told you that wouldn’t end well. You huffed, allowing him to lead you away.
Unnoticed on the couch, Elain smiled.
***
“Why would you stop me?” You practically yelled, pacing back and forth in front of Rhys.
“You can’t murder my brother and sister-in-law in their sleep.” He said, as if this was a regular occurrence.
“That filthy bitch,” you swore, turning to face Rhys head on. “I tried to tell you who she truly was, and no one listened.” You glared at him, crossing your arms in front of you.
“Elain has never showed signs of what you spoke of. As horrible as it is, could it be that Azriel was a part of this?” He regretted the words before he was even done saying them.
“Why do you refuse to believe that she could be playing a dirty game behind your back? Behind everyone’s back? I had no reason to make up lies about her, Rhysand,” you spat out, power crackling at your fingertips.
He stood, coming to stand by your side. He pulled your hands into his, looking down at your glowing fingertips. “Show me,” he said, voice hardly above a whisper. You faltered, power fading away. You were embarrassed to let him see how badly she had affected you, but you knew he would not believe you otherwise.
“Okay,” you whispered, looking up into his eyes. You felt the strange sensation of Rhys entering your mind, pulling through all your memories with Elain. He listened to all the nasty things she said when no one else could hear, and felt the pain she caused you. When he was done he looked ashamed of himself, upset that he had brushed you off.
“I-I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hands from yours. “I should have trusted you.”
You nodded. “Yea, you should have.” Rhys looked at the ground, his hands in his pockets. “I want to go away for a while. Anywhere. I can’t stand to be around her any longer, and I certainly have no interest in speaking to him.” You couldn’t even say your mates name, the hurt cutting too deep in your chest.
“As you wish,” Rhys said, “I’ll meet you on the balcony in an hour.”
***
Azriel woke with a start. Something was very, very wrong. Starting with the female asleep next to him.
He didn’t stop himself from jumping up, nearly knocking her to the floor. Not that he cared. “What are you doing?!” He hissed between his teeth, angry that she would pull a stunt like this.
Elain smiled up at him prettily, stretching as if she had been asleep for hours. “I was just sleeping, Azriel.” He hated the way she spoke his name, as if it were a sensual demand. “Your sweet little mate didn’t come to you, did she?” She fake pouted, tucking a hand under her chin.
Azriel’s eyes flared, his shadows whipping through the room. He stepped closer to her, hauling her to her feet with a strong grip on her arm. “This game you’re playing is done. Speak to me or my wife again, and I will make sure it’s the last thing you do.” He couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty at the fear in her eyes as he strode from the room, searching for you.
***
Rhys had taken you out to the cabin at your request. You wanted to be somewhere alone, but safe. “What should I tell him?” He asked as he headed to leave.
“Tell him to figure out what he wants before it’s too late.” Rhys nodded, looking you over once more. “If you need anything, i’m just a call away,” he quipped, tapping the side of his head before winnowing out of sight.
You sighed, sinking down into the plush sofa in front of the fireplace. You stared into the burning flames for what felt like hours, lost in your own mind. Azriel wouldn’t have lied to you, would he? Your mate has always been an honest male, had always loved you with everything he had. You found it hard to believe that he was messing around with Elain behind your back, regardless of what you saw. You knew how nasty she could be, and wouldn’t put it past her to pull something like this.
At the same time, the image of his arm draped lovingly around her was burned into your brain. You saw it over and over again, how well they complemented each other. The strong, dark Shadowsinger and the quiet, warm Archeron sister. Had the cauldron made a mistake? You couldn’t help but remember her words, ‘three brothers and three sisters.’ You and Azriel were mated decades before she was born, it could be plausible that the cauldron had made a mistake.
Yet the cauldron had also given Elain her own mate. It wouldn’t mess up twice, would it? Unless the cauldron had meant for you and Lucien to be mated, and Elain with Azriel. Perhaps something got crossed over and the pairings were mixed. Could all your years of joy and love with Azriel be wrong? You never felt anything was awry when you were with him, always feeling like you were truly meant to be.
You sighed and wrapped a blanket tight around you, willing it to keep away the lonely cold. You couldn’t imagine a life without Azriel by your side, and you didn’t know what you would do if that’s what he wanted.
***
“Where is she?!” Azriel bellowed through the halls of the House, shadows infiltrating every room and hallway. Rhys and Cass stood in front of him, trying to calm their brother. “I know you know! What kind of a game are you playing, hiding my own mate from me?!” He was angrier than he had ever been, angry at himself, at Elain, at Rhys. How could he have let Elain play him like that?
“I won’t tell you anything until you’ve calmed down,” Rhys stated, power rising to match Azriel’s.
“Calmed down? You expect me to calm down when that witch has been ruining my mates life, and now she’s disappeared and no one will tell me where she went?!” Azriel was seething, pacing angrily in the hall.
“I’d watch how you speak about my sister, Azriel.” He whirled around to see Feyre, eyes cool as she took in his agitated form.
“Your sister is a disgusting, selfish, spoiled brat! Someone tell me where my mate is before I tear this city apart!” He didn’t care that he was yelling at his High Lady, at his High Lord and brother. All he could see was red, and he was half a second away from leaving the House and looking for her on his own.
“Enough, Azriel,” Rhys commanded, bringing attention back to him. “Feyre, unfortunately it does seem true that Elain has been acting…undesirably.” There was a silence for a moment, her eyes widening as he shared the memories you showed him.
“Oh, Az,” she soothed, taking a step closer and reaching a hand out for him.
“Don’t touch me!” He shouted, pulling back from her. “I need to know where she is. I have to explain that what she saw was a dirty trick.” The anger was fading from his voice, despair taking over. What if you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore? He wouldn’t be able to handle losing you over this.
“Az,” Rhys started, voice calm. “She asked to go away. You’re going to have to give her time to process what has happened.” He took a step towards his brother. “I am sorry I didn’t listen before. She showed me her memories, of everything Elain had said. She will be dealt with, I promise you. I should have never let it get this bad.”
Azriel knew it wasn’t entirely his fault, but that didn’t stop him from lashing out. “Yea, you should’ve listened. When has she ever lied to you, Rhysand?” He shook his head. “Let me know if she contacts you,” was the last thing he said before storming off towards your shared room.
***
Some time had passed since you left Velaris, and the loneliness was threatening to overtake you. You had felt some tugs on the bond once Azriel realized you were gone, and had shut him out. You didn’t need him bothering you as you tried to figure out what to do. After pondering for days, you still had no idea what was true or not. You felt like you were losing your grip on reality, that you were sinking down into a pit of your own creation. You’d hardly moved from the couch since you arrived, staring into the endless flames.
A knock at the door startled you, but you no longer had the energy to truly care. You turned your head slowly to see Rhys walk in, eyes full of worry. “Have you moved at all?” He asked, taking in that the food he had left was untouched.
You shrugged.
Rhys came and sat next to you on the couch, looking you over. “He’s losing it without you,” he said softly, unsure what kind of mental state you were in.
Your eyes moved from the fire to him, stare blank. “I think you should come home. Being out here alone isn’t doing you any good. You’re withering away to nothing.”
Good. You’d rather disappear than live with the idea of Azriel and Elain. Rhys seemed to read this on your face, gingerly grabbing one of your hands in his own. “She’s been removed from the House. She’s not allowed out without Feyre or myself with her. She won’t hurt you anymore.”
You blinked. “What does Azriel think?” You asked, voice hoarse from no use.
“Az couldn’t care less about her. He’s worried about you.” There was a pleading in his eyes, begging you to come back with him.
“What if she was supposed to be cauldron-made for him?” Your voice was quiet, broken. You could feel the pain of your words as they hit Rhys, the shame of having ignored your attempts at warning him how Elain truly was.
“She isn’t. Even if you and Azriel were not mates, I have never met two people more suited for each other than you. It is clear that the love you hold is a special thing, something most won’t ever experience.” He tugs your hand closer. “Please. Come home.”
You didn’t know Rhys to lie to you, and your heart longed for Azriel. You couldn’t hide from this forever, regardless of how it turned out. “Okay,” you said, allowing him to pull you to your feet and winnow you back to Velaris.
***
Azriel was waiting when Rhys flew you back to the House, eyes wide as he took in the state of you. When Rhys set you down you immediately stumbled, head light from the lack of eating and sleeping. Azriel caught you before you could hit the ground, an alarmed gaze shooting to Rhys. “We will talk later,” he said, “take her to your room. I’ll send for Madja to check her over soon.”
Azriel nodded his thanks and carried you to your room, tucking you into the bed. You sunk into the familiar smell of him, trying to force the spinning in your head to disappear. “My love,” Azriel murmured, brushing hair out of your face. “What have I done?”
You opened your eyes and took him in. Truthfully, he didn’t look much better than you. There were deep shadows under his eyes, and his face was unusually gaunt. The stress of this situation had clearly taken its toll on the both of you.
“Are you in love with her?” You asked, tears pricking at the back of your eyes.
Azriel looked at you as if you had grown two heads.
“I’m sorry? In love with Elain? In hate with her is more like it.” You couldn’t deny the acid that dripped from his words, the anger the permeated the room.
“I saw you two. Asleep in the library.”
He scoffed. “I fell asleep waiting for you. She took it upon herself to take advantage of the situation.” He looked down at his hands, silver lining his eyes. “I never should have let it go this far.”
You sat up slowly, reaching out for him. Azriel moved quickly, gently laying you back down as he laid beside you. “Easy, my love. Your body is weak.” You hadn’t realized how bad you had gotten during your time at the cabin, suddenly feeling dizzy and sick.
“I’m so sorry, Az. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t handle it,” you sobbed, not even noticing the tears that had started falling.
“No, no. Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. I should’ve fought harder against her, tried harder to get Rhys to listen.” He cupped your cheek, running his thumb through your tears. You curled into his touch, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest.
You cried until your head was pounding, Azriel whispering sweet nothings into your ears. “I love you. Only you.” Your tears slowly stopped, until you felt confident enough to look up at him.
“I love you. I shouldn’t have doubted you,” you said, leaning up to kiss him.
A knock sounded at the door. Azriel jumped up to get it, letting Madja into the room. She began checking you over, tsking at the state of you. “I’ll give you something for dehydration, and you’ll need to start introducing food again. Start with soup, and work your way up. I have a sleep aid as well, I recommend you take it promptly.” She ran her hands over your arms and legs, ensuring all your bones were still in good shape. She did the same over your head, shoulders, and chest.
“Your heart sounds good, and your lungs are working well. You were lucky the High Lord came when he did, much more of letting yourself wither away and you’d have a significantly harder recovery ahead of you,” she chided, continuing her check of your body. Her hands swept over your abdomen before she paused, bringing them back up. “Ah,” she murmured, Azriel immediately on guard.
“What is it? Is something wrong?” He asked, gripping your hand a tad too tightly.
Madja shook her head. “No, nothing is wrong.” She looked up at you and cocked her head. “You are a lucky girl, you know. Not many pregnant fae could have refused food and drink for that long and still kept a reasonably healthy body and fetus.”
You stared at her.
She stared back.
Azriel stared at the both of you.
��What?” You finally asked, breaking the silence that had settled over the room.
She smiled, pressing her hands against your abdomen again. “A baby. Healthy, winged, i’d say 12 or so weeks along?” 12 weeks? You did the math in your head, realizing with a start that around 12 weeks ago Elain started terrorizing you. That shortly after that her words began affecting you worse and worse, that you couldn’t understand why she was able to make you so upset.
Now you knew.
“A baby,” Azriel whispered, looking at you. Madja took that as her cue to leave, placing the medicine on your nightstand and slipping from the room. He pulled you into his arms, inhaling your scent deeply. Sure enough, there it was. A lighter, fresh scent hidden under yours. He must have missed it throughout the recent stress and his back-to-back missions.
“A baby,” you whispered back, more tears threatening to fall. “Our baby.”
You saw tears of his own in Azriel’s eyes as he leaned down to kiss you, whispering “baby” in between each kiss.
The ordeal with Elain behind you, you allowed yourself to slip off into sleep, dreams of your future with Azriel and your child playing in your mind.
***
I’m so sorry this took so long for me to finish! I got into a bit of a writing rut, but I hope this was what you wanted. Thank you so much for your request! <3
#acotar x reader#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#acotar x you#acotar x y/n#requests#the other woman
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⋆˚࿔ fuckboy!jungkook pt.8 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ written ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ! nsfw !
mlist — 08/10
♡ — permanent taglist: @wnteraezz @jksctrl @ari420sstuff @blaricee @blluee28 @jkvias @letmekookk @whoa-jo @wobblewobble822 @jkslvsnella @clxssy1997 @nikkinikj @kayleesaltzmann @rrosiitas @naurnonope @lola75111 @somehowukook @redcherrykook @parkinglot-nights @deluluisdasolulu @minghaosimp @hyeon-yi @ririkookiemonster @svtrighthereworld @jmscaffeine
a/n: this was supposed to be the end but i love them too much hehe haha 🙈
why are you mad?
you keep asking yourself this, over and over. you're not actually dating jungkook. you don't get to be mad at him for kissing or hooking up with other women. it’s none of your business.
but god, it bothers you way too much.
you shouldn't have been so dramatic about it. you're usually pretty good at communicating with people, telling them what’s on your mind, what’s bothering you. but with him? you couldn’t say a word.
why?
maybe it’s because you're losing your damn mind over how amazing the sex with him has been.
or maybe you're afraid.
afraid of what, though?
rejection?
but rejection from what exactly?
do you... like jungkook?
no, that can't be it.
or maybe it is?
you’re only hooking up, right?
sure, you and him hang out all the time. sure, you’d rather spend time with him than be alone. and sure, you sometimes wish he would confess his feelings for you.
fuck.
you like jungkook.
“earth to ___!!”
“huh?” you blink, snapping out of your thoughts and looking up at hoseok.
right... you’re supposed to be having lunch with him, and yet here you are, zoning out while thinking about jungkook.
“lovers’ quarrel?” hoseok raises a brow
oh, right.
he thinks you're dating jungkook. not that you blame him—everyone thinks that.
“can i ask you something?” you say, trying to shift the conversation away from your spiraling thoughts.
“sure. but just know that i am not good at relationship advice,” hoseok raises his hands in defense
“i just need an opinion,” you clarify.
“alright then, shoot,” he leans forward, crossing his arms as he listens.
“am i being dramatic for getting mad at someone who was supposed to spend time with me but didn’t, and maybe kissed someone else or even hooked up with them?” you rush out, your words spilling out faster than you mean to.
“oh—woah,” hoseok coughs, clearly caught off guard. “give me a sec, i need to process that.”
you bite your lip, looking down at your hands, fidgeting nervously. what are you even doing? why are you opening up to hoseok, of all people? for fuck's sake, you wanted to hook up with this guy once.
“are you sure he kissed someone?” hoseok asks after a moment.
“i—well, no,” you admit, “but that's what everyone’s saying, and... well, it must be true, right!?” you sigh, feeling embarrassed by your outburst. you bury your face in your hands, hating how unsure you sound.
“___, hey, look at me,” hoseok’s voice is gentle, and you slowly lift your head to meet his gaze. “why don't you just ask him if it's true? it’s between you and him, right? what does it matter what other people say? do you think he’d do that to you?”
you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. “no...,” you sigh again.
hoseok reaches over, holding your hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “then take a breather and talk to him.”
“i know him, and cheating isn't something he would do,” hoseok clarifies
what he doesn’t know is that you and jungkook aren’t actually dating, and even if jungkook did kiss yuri, it wouldn't technically be considered cheating.
and that’s what makes this whole situation even more complicated.
you offer him a small, grateful smile. “thanks, hoseok.”
“don't thank me,” he grins, “like i said, i’m not good at this— relationship stuff. i’m just your regular fuckboy type.”
you chuckle softly at his joke. “so what? fuckboy or not, you're still human.”
and suddenly, it hits you.
you’ve been treating jungkook as a fuckboy more than a normal guy, keeping your walls up while he’s done nothing but be a sweetheart to you.
and yet, you were scared.
scared that if you let yourself like him, he would end up breaking your heart.
but then again you realise that jungkook has never been in a relationship before.
he’s never experienced something like this, and truthfully, you’ve only been in one serious relationship yourself.
you remember how you were in the beginning—scared to commit, afraid that you wouldn’t be good enough.
maybe he feels the same way?
you've always made it a point to remind him that he's just a fuckboy, and you’ve been brutally honest about what you think of guys like him.
but in doing so, you’ve never really considered his side, what he might actually be feeling beneath all the teasing and labels you’ve thrown at him.
you’ve both made mistakes, had your fair share of stupid moments—maybe you more than him. neither of you are perfect, but maybe that’s okay. all you need to do now is be honest with him. let your feelings out and see where it takes you.
you can figure this out together, right?
“get your hands off of her,”
fuck. you zoned out again.
you look up to see the man you've been avoiding; jeon jungkook, glaring at hoseok, who pulls his hand back from yours.
“chill out, i was just talking to her, as a friend,” hoseok says, giving you a small smile. “like you and me,” hoseok glares him back.
jungkook ignores him and turns his attention to you, his eyes softening immediately. “___, please, can we talk? i know i messed up, but what you heard or saw isn’t what you think. please, let me explain,” he pleads, his eyes full of sincerity and desperation.
god, how could you even say no to him?
“okay, let’s walk,” you agree.
once you're out the building, you both find a place where it's quiet and less crowded.
“___, i am sorry i didn't come to your place. i just needed to think about— it doesn't matter what. i just needed some time alone and i should've told you. i am really sorry,” he says, sighing deeply.
“jungkook, you—”
“no, no. i am not done apologizing yet. please, let me finish,” he pleads, and you nod in response.
“i was going to stay home, but then yuri called me. she asked me if i changed my mind. honestly, i didn’t want to go, but i needed a distraction. parties and hookups are usually how i distract myself. and no, i wasn’t going there for a hookup. i just needed some air, and” he sighs ”i regret going there,”
“what do you mean?” you ask, trying to understand.
“i got really drunk. i’m not trying to excuse my actions, but yuri and her friends kept pushing drinks on me. i was overwhelmed at that time and i let them give me more drinks. yuri helped me later when i was completely wasted. we ended up in her room. i did not hook up with her. she was just helping me rest. i fell asleep on her bed and didn’t even know about the photo until you mentioned it. when i woke up, i was going to leave, but then she kissed me,” he says, his face showing clear discomfort.
“oh”
“i pushed her away and told her to stay away from me. then, i came back home,” he continues. “i wish i hadn’t gone. it was a mistake. i should've come to you instead. i was thinking about us and—”
“us?” you interrupt him
“i-i mean, our fake relationship,” he stammers, looking into your eyes. “you must be tired of me. you’ve been dealing with my stupid lie, and you probably like someone else. i just wanted to keep you safe, but i realized this isn’t how it should be.”
he seems hurt, and you realize he’s upset because he thinks the reason you said he could go and have fun is because you like someone else.
oh god, that’s not what you meant at all.
“jungkook,” you say softly, reaching for his hands and holding them. he looks at your hands and then up at you. “i don’t like anyone else,”
“y-you don’t?” he blinks in surprise.
you shake your head. “i am sorry, jungkook.”
“w-what? no, you have nothing to—” he starts, but you place your hand gently over his mouth.
“let me talk now, okay?” you say, and he nods as you slowly remove your hand.
“i am sorry for the way i’ve been treating you,” you begin, looking down. “i thought— i believed i couldn’t let myself get too attached to a fuckboy, because i’d end up getting hurt. i thought it would just be easier to keep my distance.”
his eyes soften as he listens, clearly understanding where you’re coming from.
“but i got attached to you,” you admit, letting out a light chuckle. “i enjoyed everything we did together. spending time with you became something I looked forward to.”
you meet his eyes, seeing the surprise in them.
“yes, it’s me, the ___, admitting that i got attached to you,” you say, trying to ease both of your minds.
“holy fuck you—” he starts, but you cover his mouth again.
“not done yet,” you say, and he nods once more.
"i'm sorry for getting mad at you like that. i should've been more calm, and we should've just talked about it. but my mind was all over the place, and when i saw the photo, i just assumed the worst like a dumbass," you frown, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“can i say something?” he asks, and you nod.
“well first of all you're not a dumbass and second of all, i met up with yuri a while ago and told her to delete that stupid photo. and you know what else i did?” he pauses
“what else?” you ask, intrigued.
“i told her to fuck off,” he says with a proud grin, and you can’t help but burst out laughing.
“great job, buddy,” you smile, genuinely amused by his antics
“learned from the best,” he returns the smile, looking pleased with himself. “you can continue now.”
“right— um, i’m sorry. please forgive me?” you plead, hoping to finally clear the air.
“only if you forgive me first,” he says, a small challenge in his voice
“but it wasn’t your fa—”
“please,” he cuts you off,
“fine, i forgive you, jungkook,” you say,
“i forgive you too, ___.”
there’s a brief silence before he speaks up again. “so... you don’t wanna date anyone?” jungkook raises a brow, looking at you curiously.
“no, why would i?” you reply
“oh...” he lowers his head, looking disappointed for a second.
“i already have a boyfriend, why would i wanna date anyone else,” you cup his face with both hands, smiling up at him, watching as his face lights up in surprise.
“is this a dream?” he asks, his eyes wide in disbelief.
“hmm... i don’t think so. am i following your dream script though?” you ask, grinning playfully.
“hell yeah you are. i can’t believe it,” he exclaims, his hands moving to cup your face too. you giggle and lean into his touch, warmth spreading through your chest.
“can i kiss you?” he asks softly, his gaze flicking down to your lips. yours do the same, and you let out a soft “yes.”
the kiss is slow, gentle, different from all the other ones. your lips move together in perfect sync, as if they were meant for this.
you love it.
oh.
love?
sounds good.
a/n: i told y'all to TRUST 😤
#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook smau#jungkook fic#fanfic#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#fluff#fuckboy jungkook
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But I’m Better
Kintober prompt: Toys
Relationship: dbf!Joel Miller x fem!Reader
Content: explicit sexual scenes, praise kink, guided masturbation, dom/sub (kinda) dynamic, size kink (kinda sorta). No outbreak AU, age gap (Joel is around his mid-40’s, reader is early/mid-20’s).
Summary: When something breaks, you always know who to call. Your dresser is broken, and you’re left hopeless. But what happens when Joel finds something peculiar in your drawer?
A/N: Y’all. I am so pissed right now because i wrote so much on my drive home, and it deleted because of a bad connection. i can’t recall everything i wrote, so i did the best with what i could remember. i hope it’s up to your liking!
“Shit,” you grumble as you stare blankly at the clothes strewn across the floor. The knob of your dresser drawer sat stupidly in your hand, the mangled wood and metal mocking you. It looked completely ruined.
You thought about messaging your dad about the repairs, but chose against it. He was never exactly notorious for making these things simple - it would be a question of ‘So how did this happen?’ or ‘How did you manage to break it?’, and it really wasn’t worth the effort for you.
The knob sat in your hand, the screw that held it in the drawer was bent to the side, and incredibly dull. No surprise there, you thought.
To be fair, it was an old ass dresser, given to you by your grandmother when you were younger. It was weird to think that you’d had this dresser for over twelve years.
You bent over the pile of clothes and hoisted the hefty drawer in line with the empty space, grunting in frustration as you tried to shimmy it in. It was settled haphazardly and tilted backwards. Completely screwed up. You took your phone from your pocket and snapped a photo of your mangled dresser, sending it to Joel.
Dresser finally gave out, I guess. Knob fell clean off when I tried to open it
Almost immediately, Joel haha reacted to the image and began to type. He was unlike any other man you’d talked to before. Joel was timely and consistent, and he was always reliable. Even if he didn’t have the time to help, he would instruct you on how to solve an issue, but typically he helped you in person.
As much as you tried to deny it, your feeling for Joel had warped over the past few years. It began as a silly childhood crush - those early days where you and your friends joked about what older men were sexiest. Your friends had given you teasing looks when you mentioned Joel, and even more shocking was how long you’d liked him. It was a simple, harmless, childhood crush.
Until it wasn’t.
You were freshly eighteen and readying yourself for college when the realization hit you. After all those years having crushes on older guys, it would be considered okay. Weird and taboo, sure, but still allowed now that you were legally an adult.
Joel had come to your graduation dinner at the end of senior year. You remembered that night in vivid detail. More particularly, Joel’s presence set your skin ablaze with a new type of anxiety. At long last, you could freely crush on Joel, except that there was now a chance he could like you, too.
That night he’d passed you a small velvet box, tied neatly with gold ribbon. You opened the box to reveal a gold, oval-shaped locket with a simple clasp. Inscribed on the face of the locket were whorled spirals, breaking off as flowers scattered over the gilded surface. Gazing up at Joel, you couldn’t contain your joy as you gave him a quick hug. He briefly wrapped an arm around you, holding you close by the small of your back.
He broke away, smiling proudly at you below him.
“You did a great job, baby girl. You keep that up in college, and you’ll get by just fine.”
You were thankful dessert had arrived in time for you to turn your attention away, hiding your rouged cheeks. Joel probably didn’t remember that night, but you remembered every little thing.
—
You’d done your four years of college and after the endless nights with little to no sleep and hard work, you were finally graduated, and taking a gap year before considering anything further. You worked hard, and didn’t want to burn yourself out with more school immediately.
But now you were back home, and your sights were set on something else. It was a golden opportunity to spend time with Joel - time that you’d lost by being away for so long. Holiday visits and summer break was hardly generous enough to give you any alone time with Joel. You left for college as a timid girl, developed yourself as a whole, and came back a woman. A woman who knew herself and her wants.
And you wanted him, ached for him in a way you could neither define nor justify. He was almost twice your age, a wholly developed man with his own complex past and unsteady dating life.
Mr. Miller.
He had lived in the next neighborhood over for as long as you could remember. He and your dad met about ten years back at a ‘work thing’, as they described it.
Joel was kind and endlessly generous when it came to helping others. He was the first call when something broke, and the best person to have over when times were tough, despite his sometimes-rugged personality.
You’d gotten back in town over a week ago, and since then you’d seen Joel a few times, mostly to ‘inspect’ the furniture in your room - if anything had worn down over time and needed to be replaced, the whole nine. The both of you knew it was some bullshit excuse to see him at work, with those corded muscles flexing under his tanned skin, sending shivers down your spine.
That day, the two of you had enough bravery in you to flirt. It started out lightly, you gave more emphasis on Mr. Miller, until Joel requested you call him by his first name.
“Makin’ me feel like an old man, darlin’,” he teased. You remember how he sounded saying it, with a voice as thick and sweet as molasses.
Before he’d left he’d held you by the waist, staring a little too closely at your face, watching your eyes grow wide when he leaned toward you. He fixed your hair with a gentle hand, said your name, and trailed off, his eyes never leaving your lips.
He refused to kiss you that time. Though the time after that you’d decided to break the boundary, drinking him in like someone dying of thirst. You memorized his scent, the softness of his skin and rough, eager hands across your chest, between your thighs, your throat. You both had been greedy that night. It was a high that coursed through your senses. You needed him, more than you led on.
I’ll get my toolbox, looks like it could be some old hardware. Be over in 10.
You picked up around your room in the meantime, your heart fluttering in your ribcage with each passing second. The room had become stiflingly hot. Suffocating.
A knock at your bedroom door startled you out of your anxious stupor. You reached for the door and now faced a smug Joel Miller in the doorway.
“I could’ve met you at the front door, you know,” you chastised him playfully. Joel shifted his weight of his feet, pulling something from his pocket.
“Helps that I have a house key. Means I can help you even faster.”
You rolled your eyes at him and turned on your heels without a word, striding toward your broken dresser. Joel followed casually, craning his head to look around your room, at the decorations that covered the walls and ceiling. This was no longer the bedroom of a the kid he’d met all those years ago. No, you were fully your own woman now.
“Yup, the screw’s shot to shit,” he muttered, holding out the drawer’s knob to you. “See the end of it? Shouldn’t be that dull - gotta have it replaced every now and then.”
“Do you have the right screw for it?”
He nodded, popping open his toolbox and assessing the different screws in each compartment. His hands flexed with each movement, the veins branching across them shifted with every twitch and roll of his thick fingers. Your legs clenched while the most intrusive thoughts filled your head. Specifically those hands, and what you could imagine them doing to you.
Procuring the right screw, Joel handed it to you. You looked at him in innocent confusion.
God, those eyes. If he had the chance, Joel would look into them all day, to let himself get swallowed whole by their beauty. And when you looked at him all pretty like that, as if you had no idea what you were doing to him, it drove him wild. You knew exactly what you were doing when you’d flirt with Joel, but couldn’t gauge his reciprocation, or if he was even okay with the weird ‘relationship’ you had.
It had been confusing for long enough. Someone needed to make a move, and Joel wasn’t sure if you had it in you to do it. Neither were you.
“I wanna see you try it for yourself,” he explained.
“If it’s so easy, why can’t you do it?” you quipped with a smile, but still taking the knob in your hands. Joel gave no reply and waited patiently for you to back down and do it yourself.
It was far easier than you thought. You handed it back to Joel with a proud smile. His eyes thoughtfully scanned your face before finding home in your eyes.
“Smart girl. I knew you could do it.”
Heat rushed across your cheeks like a harsh sunburn, completely taken over by the brightness in his honeyed tone and brown eyes. Joel laughed at your reaction before he worked on the drawer knob, fiddling it into place. His hands rummaged through your drawer as he worked, and paid no mind to the clothes, though you just realized. This was your underwear drawer - full of lacy underwear, bras of all varieties, and one final item you prayed you hid well enough.
Joel’s hands pushed through your panties as you held your breath. After the drawer had fallen out you’d lazily threwn everything back in the drawer and paid no mind to its organization. Since it wasn’t on the bed or the floor, by accident, you were certain that Joel would cross paths with a toy of yours.
He struck something solid amidst the clothes. The material was solid and heavy, with a bit of give from the silicone. At that moment, he could’ve left it ignored, but there was no fun in that, he thought. Joel gripped the dildo at the base, pulling out of the tangle of clothes and handed it to you, flashing you with a smirk.
“You should find a better place for this,” he drawled. “Never know who could find it.”
You quickly grabbed it from him and scanned your room for another hiding spot, but nothing came to mind. Instead you plopped it back in the drawer, on the opposite side.
“Most people don’t get to go through my underwear, so you can’t give me shit for that,” you grumbled. Joel stood, groaning at the strain on his joints. You giggle at the noise, and gave him your usual teasing, “Old man.”
Ignoring your jab, Joel leaned against the chest of drawers, arms crossed over his chest in a stare down.
His voice was dark. It had become devious, knowing, and more stern than you’d imagined.
“You use it on yourself?”
You choked on your spit harshly, not expecting his question to be so direct. Joel placed a wide hand between your shoulder blades and gave you a pat, coaxing you back to normal.
“Joel,” you pant, catching your breath, “you can’t just- just ask me that.”
“And you wouldn’t be curious if the roles were reversed, I’m sure,” he said coolly.
The redness had returned to your cheeks while you debated on your answer, but your hesitation told Joel everything he needed to know. In the smallest way, you’d let it slip that you imagine him in your free time, not that it wasn’t the same case for him. If anything, it’d been worse. Every text you’d sent him set him ablaze; at night he thought about you in detail and palmed himself through his pants, or pumped his cock in a fervent hand as he thought of you, squeezing himself inside your tight pussy. Countless nights he’d stained himself with his own seed, wishing it was inside of you instead, where it belongs. That toy should be him, it always should’ve been.
“Do you?”
You huffed and turned away from him, striding toward the bed to adjust your pillows - any sort of casual distraction from the question.
“Why do you want to know?” you countered.
Joel’s hands brushed against your hips from behind, his feather-soft fingertips brushing across the skin above your jeans. You drew in a breath as Joel whispered next to your ear.
“Because I’m a selfish old bastard, and I’m wondering what it looks like.”
“What what looks like?” you ask softly. You knew precisely what he meant but you wanted to hear something from him anyway.
He burrowed his head at the crook of your neck, gently kissing your skin up to the soft spot below your ear. His breath flew over your skin hot and heavy, sending a new wave of heat to your core.
“I want to see your face when you’re all filled up. I gotta see what your little pussy looks like when it’s all stretched out.”
You pushed your hips back flush with his to find a growing bulge trapped in his jeans. Joel rolled his hips into your ass, groaning at the constraint of the rough denim.
“Joel,” you breathed.
He mumbled against your neck, “What is it baby girl?”
Shoving your ass against his crotch, you whined, “I need you. Please… need you so badly.”
His hum rumbled against your skin, sending goosebumps rolling across your arms. A hand wound up to your hair and tugged a good handful back toward him. You gazed up at him with those beautiful glossed over eyes he dreamed about. He pictured this look on your face for a few years now, and he finally had the joy of seeing it, of causing it himself.
“Not givin’ it to you yet, baby,” he tugged once more on your hair when you whined in protest, “Gonna try something different first.”
In one movement you were facing him, finding two dark eyes staring you down, pupils both blown in lust. Joel gripped the back of your head carefully now, cradling you like something precious, something coveted. This was exactly how he saw you. You were someone to protect and take care of, and now it’s shifted to something far more intimate. Joel vowed to himself that he would make you feel every ounce of pleasure you’d been missing out on. All those nights where his hand replaced your pussy built up a frustration only you could truly fix.
Joel crashed his mouth to yours, as he’d done twice before this, and the kiss sent the same heat through your body. You clenched your thighs in a pitiful attempt to gain pressure against your swollen clit, nestled sweetly between your soft folds, soaking your underwear with your slick.
He pressed you backward until your knees hit the edge of the bed. The kiss was no short of pure ecstasy. The way his stubble scratched against your cheeks, the way his breathing grew heavy when you bit at his lower lip, the way his tongue edged into your mouth to explore every inch.
You gasped when Joel pulled away, watching him step to your dresser and draw out the dildo you’d hidden back inside. He turned to you with the toy in hand, wobbling slightly in his grip.
“‘S a pretty big one, sweetheart, you actually use all of it?” his voice was far too casual for a man holding your dildo.
You offer him half a nod, “Kind of. I’ve been trying to get… all the way in.” Joel assessed your words before he joined you on the bed, holding the toy against your stomach, at the base of your pelvis. He let out a low whistle when he saw where the toy’s length ended at your tummy, past your bellybutton.
“All of that inside you… felt pretty daring getting one so big, huh?”
That wasn’t the case and it was the most embarrassing part. The truth is, you chose the size based on your image of Joel. You didn’t even know how endowed he was, but you let your fantasy of him take over. That, and the time your hand brushed against his erection during your last kiss.
“I wanted to see if it would feel like you,” you admitted.
Joel’s eyes crinkled with his laugh, “Darlin’, a toy don’t compare to the real thing. Not really.”
You jabbed his arm at his teasing, “Listen, I’m doing the best with what I got, okay?”
“Yeah, but it’s not the best you could get, now is it?” he purred, pushing forward to plant a kiss on your neck. You shook your head, knowing he was exactly right. The toy would never really feel like the real thing.
You glanced up at him with a nervous expression, furrowing your brows, “What did you want to do?”
Joel looked at you coolly and leaned back onto his elbows. He eyed you, then the toy in his hand, then back to you.
“You gonna make it fit - take it all the way - and I’m gonna help.”
Crimson shaded your cheeks at the thought, staring nervously at the toy. Surely you were wet enough to take it, but the action of pushing further, to get it in completely, had been a challenge. In hopes to boost your bravery, you hunched over him, kissing him harshly as your hands flew to your pants. You fumbled with the waistband and slid them off of you, until you were stark naked, laid and bare before Mr. Miller.
He simply drank you in as you sat nervously in the lamplight. Joel eyed you darkly, his eyes raking from your quivering thighs, your slightly hidden sex - masked by your censoring hands, to your perk nipples atop each soft breast, and to your face, eyes half-lidded in pleasure adjoined with your soft panting.
“Jesus.”
You ducked your head sheepishly, shaking slightly to decline the compliment. Joel looked you over fondly as his hand found your cheek, brushing a thumb over your cheekbone. You glanced down at him, still giving you that goofy smirk and a excited glint in his eye.
Joel kept eye contact as his hand traveled down your body - through the valley between your breasts, down your tummy, to just above your slit, daringly close to dipping between your wet folds. You pushed yourself into your knees and knelt at his side, your aching cunt exposed to him in the dimly lit room.
He trailed his hand up each thigh, halting just before he reached your pussy. Each touch was carefully light in a way that made your whole body shudder against him. A single finger slithered up your thigh once again, finally finding its way through your slit, nestling comfortably against your clit and drawing lazy circles.
You cried out against a hand held at your mouth. Joel’s hand smelled of metal and bourbon, mixed with pine and lemongrass. He smelled smoky and fresh and completely warm against your face. You bestowed your face into his palm as he gained a rhythm on your clit, drawing out the smallest cries against his skin.
“Nice and wet for me already, darlin’, that’s good… that’s such a good girl. Drippin’ and ready.”
Another dumb nod has him chuckling while his finger skirted lightly across your clit, teasing the bundle of nerves until your stomach grew tighter.
“Gonna cum, baby? You gonna cum for me already?” His comment draws another moan from you, falling like a melody past your bitten lips, a chorus straight from heaven, just for Joel.
“It’s okay, baby doll, go ‘head. Cum for daddy,” he said sweetly, the Southern drawl thick through his words.
You unravel around him, jolting your hips as your orgasm takes over your senses. A soft cry sounds through your gritted teeth; you gently grind your hips onto the pad of his finger to ride through the shockwaves. Joel leans up to kiss your shoulder, his lips warm and supple.
“Just as beautiful as I imagined,” whispered Joel. His tongue skirts along your skin to your neck, fully sitting beside you to bore his eyes into yours.
You glanced back at him with lust-blow pupils, steadying your breath as his hand slowed its tempo. Joel gave you a lazy smile, the lamplight catching the salt-and-pepper hairs of his scruff in a soft display of his rugged features.
“Can,” you started, “you be… inside me?”
Joel’s hands found your hips and gripped snugly. The look in his eyes was nothing short of affectionate. Even still, he shook his head.
“Not tonight darlin’,” he replies, “I want you to show me how you look using this-“ he points to the dildo on his opposite side, waiting. “Since you think a toy could be so much better than me-“
“That’s not it at all,” you protest, “I needed something, Joel.”
He holds up a hand to stop you mid-sentence, “You could’ve asked me, but ya didn’t, did ya?”
You gave him a scowl, “I didn’t think this would happen, Joel.”
Ever since you hit eighteen, he wanted you to practice calling him by his first name purely out of comfortability, and since you’d grown up, it seemed more fitting.
He doesn’t reply, but his smirk grows when he brings the dildo over to you, sitting between your thighs. It was embarrassing enough with how little of the toy you could handle this far, and to do it in front of Joel seemed doubly humiliating.
Joel gives your ass a small smack to lift you up. You rise, letting him set the toy between your thighs and beneath your throbbing entrance. He cleared his throat, daring your attention back to him.
“Go at your own pace, but get it all in, sweet girl.”
All thought had left you - your only reply being in an eager nod. You started off slowly, notching the toy in at your tight hole, and slowly bounced yourself along its length. Your legs shook with each movement as you filled yourself more and more, every gyration sent shockwaves of pleasure through every inch of your being.
It took a few moments to ease yourself fully, now bouncing on the dildo’s length until it became glossy with your slick. Joel eyed you affectionately. Your face twisted in ways he couldn’t imagine, and your cunt wrapped around the toy in ways he could only dream of.
Joel patted your thigh as you bottomed out at the hilt of the toy. He pawed at your hips, kneading at the tender flesh of your ass, and pulled you into a grinding motion, setting the dildo ever deeper into your cunt. It struck a new spot deep inside of you, pushing against your cervix. A low moan fell from you as you moved your hips absentmindedly, solely following Joel’s command.
The tightness in your stomach only grew as his praises flowed through your head.
“Such an obedient lil’ thing.”
“That’s a dirty girl, gettin’ all needy like that. Wishin’ it was me in your sweet pussy, don’t you?”
“You have no idea how badly I want to fill you right now, baby doll.”
You mewled softly as another orgasm crashed through you, your hips sputtering as you ground onto the toy. Joel’s hands caressed you through your high, though he didn’t stop tugging your hips. He beamed lazily when you cried his name once again, shuddering around the toy nestled inside of you.
“Attagirl,” whispered Joel, “so fuckin’ beautiful..”
You shook your head at him like before, but he showed no signs of backing down from his stance. Joel peppered your thighs with kisses and he lifted you off the toy, listening to your whines as you were left feeling empty. His cock twitched in his jeans, eager to play.
But not yet. He needed to see this first.
“How was that, sweet girl?”
A beat of silence said every unspoken thing you’d come up with. It was good, but not mind-boggling. Not the ‘fucked til you’re dumb’ pleasure you’d expected from tonight.
Joel patted your ass, “That’s the thing. Toys… they feel nice. But-“ He plants a kiss to your cheek, then your lips, grazing over the swollen skin.
“I’m better.”
The next few minutes consisted of cleaning after yourself and settling back into your clothes. Joel fixed your hair neatly before looking you over.
“Cant stay long tonight, darlin’, gotta get back home.”
You sighed dramatically at him, to which he scoffed away the gesture. On his way out, he gave you a far more longing look - a loving, thoughtful gaze that told you one thing.
You were his. Completely and wholly. It was clear he saw you differently now, as you did him.
Joel fucking Miller.
MDNI spacer is by cafekitsune!
hi everyone! thank you for so much incredible support on this fic!
Just FYI: Blood Flow, and Daddy’s Girl are now up as parts 2 and 3! have fun, lovelies
#fanfiction#fic writing#smut#smut writing#joel miller x reader#joel miller#dbf!joel#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#the last of us#tlou fanfiction#bunny writes#kinktober
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leverage ☆
rafe cameron x fem!reader.
warnings: kidnapping, violence, mention of drugs, swearing, rude comments, guns, abuse, threats.
summary: when barry doesn’t get his money from rafe, he goes to the next best thing. you.
a/n: thought about this randomly haha. i hope you enjoy and if you do, please like and comment! :) requests are open and even if you don’t have a request, you can always ask a question or tell a funny joke instead. <3
master list is pinned.
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“if you don’t give me the money, your ass is gonna be sorry.” barry stared at rafe while he ran his hands through his hair. “i promise. i’ll get you the money, man. i just need some time.” barry laughs, “you better or this won’t be pretty.” barry hesitated before continuing, “and, i mean you don’t have a lot of time. i'd say a week max.” rafe nodded, understanding. “alright. i’ll get it, don’t worry.” barry laughs, “i’m not worried, trust me on that.” he smirked before walking inside his trailer. rafe hopped on his motorcycle, speeding away. his mind running as he thought of ways to come up with twenty grand. he only had a week, and he was definitely stressing out.
rafe didn’t inform you about his entanglement with barry. perhaps if he had brought it up, you wouldn’t be where you were currently. you were working, just going on about your day. a customer had asked you to walk them to your car. it was an elderly woman; you couldn’t deny her some assistance. you smile, “of course! which car is yours?” you asked, heading towards the parking lot.
in retrospect you should have concluded how abnormal it was for an elderly woman to have parked so far away in such a dark car. she laughed once you approached the car, and that was when a rock was smashed against your skull. then a sack was thrown over your head. rope contained your hands, forcing them against your back, burning from the fiction of the rope rubbing together.
you stopped fighting, realizing it was useless, and whoever was kidnapping you would only become more agitated and aggressive. you were pushed into what felt like a backseat, a needle inserted into your arm, making you unconscious.
the next time you wake up, it’s in an unfamiliar room. it’s dark, and humid. you try and lift your arms but realize they were still held together firmly, with rope behind your back. as well as your wrists, your ankles were tied together too. you tried to speak, and surprisingly your voice, despite being hoarse, was able to make noise. “hello?” you called out.
barry walks in, a gun in his hand. “oh wakey wakey sunshine.” your face twists with confusion
. “i- what? why? why am i tied up? what’s going on?” you bombard him with questions he never answers. “that boyfriend of yours… he’s not going to be so happy now, is he? he’s short, 20 grant short, and because he can’t pay me, i’m gonna take the next valuable thing he has. that’s you.” you close your eyes, inhaling deeply. you didn’t want to freak out and spiral. “he’s not my boyfriend. i mean what the fuck barry?” you stared up at him. “oh, oh shit. you actually aren’t rafe's girlfriend?” you roll your eyes. “no. he doesnt want to date me.” you frown at your own confession. barry looks at you with sympathy. it didn’t last though, now he was overwhelmed because the leverage he thought he had wasn’t even leverage. “shit… man.”
rafe on the other hand, was terrified. while rafe wasn’t your boyfriend, he definitely liked you the most out of all of his friends. he concluded that he loves you, but he’s been too scared to make any moves. that wasn’t what terrified him though, what was currently nagging at rafe was the fact that you hadn’t met with him. the two of you had a daily schedule that included you stopping by his house after work.
with you not stopping by his house, on top of you not answering his texts. he began to feel worried. rafe's phone dinged indicating he got a message, and he practically sprinted to the phone. he saw a message from barry, it was a video. he hesitated before opening it. his eyes widened in horror as the video he was watching was of you. a gun pressed against your temple while you were tied up in a chair.
he tightened his grip around his phone, his jaw clenched, and chest heavy. he examines the video playing in front of him, inspecting it to see if he recognizes the background. rafe’s heart hurts as he has to rewatch you fear for your life due to his mistakes. he unfortunately didn't recognize the background.
he didn’t have time to play games, he immediately responded to barry. he shot back a text, asking why the fuck he had you, and where he was. barry immediately responded, do you have the money? rafe groaned, his hands on his head as he paced around his living room. his heart was stinging at the thought of the situation he had put you in. he should have saw this coming, should have noticed that you were the thing barry could ruin.
you stared at barry, tears welling in your eyes. he frowned at your condition, "poor girl, i'm sorry you're in the middle of this, but i'm not letting rafe get away with robbing me." you gasp for air, "please don't kill me." he sighed, bending down in front of your chair, he moved your hair out of your face. "i'm not going to hurt you sweetheart. i know its dramatic, but you won't be harmed," he smirks to himself, "how about you help me?" your face contorts into confusion, "how?" you look away. "how much does rafe care about you?" you sigh, unsure of how to respond. "tell me or there will be issues. i said i wouldn't kill you, but that's only if you cooperate with me."
"he said before that he loves me, he wants us to date, but when i asked him, he told me he had bigger stuff on his plate. he wouldn't have time for me. after that, it became weird..." your voice trails off, he hums in response. "i see, so he loves you, but he's worried he'll corrupt you." you nod slightly. "you're the only girl in his life, yeah?" you shrug, "yeah, but even then, he won't date me." this causes a smirk to hang on barry's lips. "what if we got back at him? he dragged you along, and he stole my money. what if we worked together?" the thought of backstabbing rafe made you nauseous. barry could tell you were reluctant. "do it or i will make sure he'll never be able to find you again, you'll be deep in the ocean with no chance of being discovered." his words terrified you, "okay, okay. just tell me what to do." he hands you your phone. "you're gonna call him. tell him you're okay. say that i let you go, out of the kindness of my heart." you nod sheepishly. dialing his number, rafe immediately picks up.
"are you okay? what's going on?" you sigh, "i'm okay, he let me go." your words shock rafe, he's silent. "i don't know, he just let me go out of the kindness of his heart. i'm okay." he's relieved, but he's aware that he still had a lot of cash he needed before he could make it right. "can we meet?" he asks. you look up at barry and he shakes his head no. "uh maybe in a bit. i'm a little shaken up. i want to shower and have some time y'know?" you explain. "i understand, just call me whenever you're ready, okay?" you smile softly, "of course, goodbye." you hang up, barry claps. "very good performance, i even believed it."
"what's your plan?" he grins happy you asked. "you're gonna be my girlfriend. you're gonna stay here with me, help me bag up the drugs, count cash, and when rafe decides to return the money, he'll see you here with me. we will kiss or whatever, and you're going to tell him that you saw the good in me. that you fell so hard at my words. rafe will realize he waited too long." while the idea of this was supposed to upset you, the thought of rafe seeing what he was missing out on, gave you a sort of edge. you thought that maybe you can come out of this with rafe announcing his love for you. "okay. will you drive me to mine? i want to change out of my greasy work clothes." he grins grabbing his keys, "of course baby." you narrowed your eyes at him, "just because were pretending to date doesn't mean you have to call me cute names." he chuckles, "we need to practice that way its convincing."
you sigh realizing how deep of a mess you were actually in. it made you feel better knowing that you weren't actually trying to do anything. you had to do this, barry had put your life on the line. if you didn't obey his every order, you could find yourself tied back up in a chair. "okay. how will we make this convincing?" he chuckles, "itll be easy. we're gonna get you cleaned up, then i'm going to have rafe meet me here. he'll see you working for me and man he'll get so angry."
you nod, and he unties you from the chair. he leads you to his motorcycle, speeding off to your house. upon arrival, he allows you to go inside to change. “i’m coming with. no time for any games.” you scoff but head inside. he follows you to your room, you hop into the shower. barry looks around your room. seeing your decor, jewelry; and photos of you and friends. he quirks a small smile, barry was very impressed by himself. he figured this was probably his best idea yet. once out of the shower you change into shorts and a shirt. you hesitate when you saw your reflection in the mirror. you were terrified of what might happen.
“so, we need to wait a few days, make it seem like it has time to naturally develop, yknow?” you nod, “yeah that makes sense.” he holds his hand out. “i’m gonna need your phone.” you roll your eyes, “why?” he tsks, coming into your personal space. “because i don’t trust you.” he snatches your phone from you, drafting out a text for rafe. going to need some time, today was a lot. i’m sorry. he smiles, satisfied with the text, he sends it. your heart swells again, fear crowding your senses. “pack a bag.” you nod following his instructions.
“okay good.” he picks up your bag, “we’re going back to mine, i need some help.” you cowardly follow him out of your own house, getting back onto his motorcycle. your head was swarming, but you tried to clear it as best as you could. you arrived back at barry’s trailer, heading inside, he sets you up with a scale to help him measure out his drugs. you sigh but start to fill the baggies. “good, you work on this for a bit and i’ll be back later.” he speeds away, and you continue the task.
shortly after, you hear a motorcycle approaching. assuming it’s barry you don’t move, continuing so he doesn’t yell at you. after four loud bangs, you can hear rafe on the other side of the door. you nervously glance around. unfortunately, barry had your phone. despite how badly you wanted to open the door, you knew barry would freak out on you. rafe looks around his hands on his head. “yo i got your money, c'mon man.” barry pulls up, seeing rafe.
“what was that?” rafe suddenly turns around. “i have your cash.” barry, impressed by how quickly rafe managed to get the money, eagerly smirked. “alright come in, we gotta count it.” rafe shakes his head but follows inside. at first, he doesn’t notice you, already used to barry having guest over. barry plops the heavy bag onto the floor, pulling out the stacks of cash. “ooh this shit is nice.” rafe chuckles, “i follow through on my deals, so we good?” he looked over, realizing who was actually messing with his drugs. “what the fuck is she doing here?” you struggle to make eye contact with rafe, your heart hurting. “you told me he let you go?” you look down, staying silent. barry intervenes, “well girls like men who are up front about how they feel…” he chuckles darkly, “wait too long to express it and then you’ll lose em’. ain’t that right pretty girl?” you look up at barry, his eyes locked on yours. “yes that’s right.” rafe could feel his anger boiling over him. he couldn’t believe it. “you really like this fucking loser?” you stop weighing the drugs, finally managing to meet his gaze.
“she’s perfectly content with me country club.” rafe's hands form into a fist. “nah this isn’t right.” he walks closer to you, bending down. he gets onto your level. he stares at barry. “i need to hear it from her.” you swallow a deep gulp, rafe being close to you now. “tell me,” you glance between the two men in front of you. fear settling over you, unsure of what to do. on one hand you weren’t sure if barry was still intent on doing the jealousy gig, but you knew rafe was vulnerable and you couldn’t hurt his feelings.
looking at barry, he mouths a “tell him.” you nod, “look i know it’s really sudden rafe. and i’m really sorry…” your words sting his heart, and his face falls. he doesn’t say anything. “he is just really funny. and he’s sweet to me.” rafe chuckles, unable to control his venomous anger. “yeah and i wasn’t fucking sweet to you? i did everything for you.” you roll your eyes, getting into character. “you LIE. you were the reason i got kidnapped. you don’t tell me how you feel, but i’m just supposed to wait around until YOU feel like the timing is right?” his eyes zoned in on you, he looked you up and down, noticing the powder on your fingers.
he was stuck, he knew something was off. you’d never willingly mess around with drugs, and you definitely wouldn’t be slumming it with barry of all people. “what’s he got you into?” disgust forms on his face, he looks between the two of you, scoffing. you have nothing else to say, so you look at barry. he nods in approval, and you have to hold in a sigh of relief. “see? i keep her tamed.” your face twisted in confusion in a slight second, and rafe caught on. “are you done counting yet? or do you need me to do it for you?” barry laughs, “it’s all here. your debt is paid.” barry places the money back into the bag, “are we done here?” rafe looks at you one more time, “yeah we’re done here.”
without a second of hesitation, he leaves the trailer. his hands cover his face, trying to steady his breathing. he couldn’t fight the anger that was creeping in.
back in barry’s trailer, he’s laughing mischievously. “that went perfect.” you frown, “am i done?” he sighs, “what, are you not having any fun?” you look around, “no, i just am tired. i worked all day and i just want to go to bed. in my bed.” he thinks for a moment. “fine, i’ll take you to yours. get some beauty sleep, but you’re stuck with me for awhile. rafe was on an ego trip regardless. he needs this.” you smile. “thank you.” you grab your bag, and head outside. you see rafe standing against his bike. you glance at him frowning. you wish he could drive you back home.
at your house, barry allows you to have your phone back on the one condition; you wouldn’t rat out the plan to rafe. you agreed, thankful to be able to rest alone. today had been so exhausting. you change into pajamas, hopping into bed. you look at your phone, seeing the numerous missed texts and calls from rafe. you frown, you felt so lost.
after a few minutes of lying in bed, you hear the doorbell ring. you didn’t want to answer it, but you were the only one home at the moment. you head downstairs, opening the door. rafe stands before you, “can we talk?” you move out of the way and invite him inside. “yeah, of course.” he follows you up to your room. you sit on your bed, and he’s pacing your room back and forth.
“do you actually like barry?” you stand up grabbing him, and he settles down. “no, not at all. he told me i had to do this to get back at you or he’d kill me.” rafe stares directly into your eyes, he grabs your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. he pulls away gently, “i really love you.” he squeezes you tightly; “when i thought he got you… i wanted to kill him.” you place your hand on his cheek. “it hurt me so bad but i didn’t know what else to do.” he frowns at you, “it’s not your fault, i don’t blame you at all.” you pull him into a hug, and he squeezes you firmly, worried to lose you.
“he said we have to keep it going for a week or so.” rafe nods understandingly, “okay. are you willing to do that?” you look down, but he places a hand on your chin to make you look up at him again. “are you comfortable with that?” you close your eyes taking a deep breath, “no, but i have to be.” he groans, “this is all my fault. i’m so sorry.” you sit on the bed, and he joins you. “we’ll get through this. one week and then i’m all yours.” he places his hand on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “i’ll be here to protect you.” you kiss him again, “that’s the only motivation i need rafe.” he grins. “if it gets too bad, i’ll fuck some shit up for you.” you nod, “thank you rafe.”
#rafe cameron x reader#fiction#writing#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader angst#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron angsts#rafe cameron x plus!reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#barry x reader#barry obx
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...Mable stuck with bill timestuck, you say? I wonder if that would go better or worse than dipper being alone with bill.
Here to mention that I somehow only noticed your signature when it was next to fiddleford, and thought you were (rightly) calling him a prince. It took an embarrassingly long time for me to connect the dots.
Haha you’re not the first person to mistake my signature for actual writing so dw you’re good lol!
And as for my thoughts of Mabel and Bill in a Timestuck AU,,,
I may or may not have written a drabble in a mutuals DMs a few years back about a confrontation between Mabel and Bill and the aftermath of it! I also may or may not have just fixed it up and straight up doubled the word count haha-
Since I’m feeling a tad bit brave I’m gonna post the drabble under the cut for anyone to read along with two doodles I’ve done for it, I only ask that yall be nice to me since I don’t write very often and know I ain’t that good at it hehe-
Also I’m not lying this is like,,, 4707 words… I got possessed to write this haha
Before I begin!!! Important!!!
Trigger Warnings: Choking/Asphyxiation, harm to children, minor descriptions of small cuts and minuscule amounts of blood, verbal planning of commiting a murder/killing
(if I missed any please tell me!)
With that out of the way here's my stupidly long Timestuck AU drabble that's been on my back burner for years! The only thing you really need to know is that the twins time-traveled back after Weirdmagenddon of their own volition. Dipper is with Stan and Mabel is with Ford and Fiddleford. Mabel has been staying with the two for almost a month now and Fiddleford is the only one who knows she's a time traveler.
With the stage set, please enjoy!
💫—————————————🚩
It’s late into the night, Mabel is tossing and turning and can't go to sleep. Her mind is spiraling as she overthinks and worries about Bill, her brother, her Grunkles, everything. So at about 1AM she decides that she’s not going to bed anytime soon and gets up off the living room couch which she has called her new bed while staying with her younger Grunkle Ford and Fiddleford.
Despite it being the dead of night Mabel thought it’d be a good idea to just make something food related in hopes it would tire her out. Also, she figured it would be a fun idea since she knows Stanford is most likely still awake and probably hasn’t eaten in a while. She could make him something easy and sweet, like a batch of cookies, and give them to him as a gift! Who doesn’t like 1AM cookies?! If she doesn’t have the stuff to make that, eh, she’ll figure it out and make something else!
A bonus to this is that if Ford says he’s not hungry, a bold faced lie, she’d use her sweetest and biggest puppy eyes until he ate some. Maybe she could even convince him to go to bed and not stay up till 4AM!
The brunette starts making a batch of cookies in the cover of night, making sure to have plenty enough for Fidd's in the morning, and putting her entire heart and all her worries into the mix in hopes the oven would ease away the stress weighing down her mind.
Sure it took a while, but it would totally be worth it to see her young Grunkle's face light up in shock at the sight of a warm batch of cookies shoved into his face and getting crumbs on his nerdy notes!
Right as she was finishing up wrapping up three separate plates worth of cookies in a napkin with a pretty little bow, for the ✨aesthetic✨ she happily told herself, she hears a pair of heavy boots walk into the kitchen.
The voice of her, now young, Grunkle Ford calls out her name in the quiet kitchen. Just as she had expected, he was awake.
Before the excited brunette could whirl around and surprise Ford with the 1-2 AM batch of cookies she lovingly went and made by hand, his low voice rumbled out, “Could you grab me a mug? One from the cabinet.”
He sounded a little funny, like he just woke up. Mabel smiled as she could already picture Stanford’s bleary and tired face as he goes to make a cup of coffee with the mug he’s asking for. She lets out a small sound of exertion as she pushes herself onto the counter since she’s too short to reach the cabinets otherwise and gingerly opens the cabinet so it doesn’t squeak and pulls out a mug. Based on the small cracks and worn paint on the ceramic it seemed a tad old, the faded words of ‘Backupsmore 1973’ barely legible.
Just as Mabel turns around, about to lightly scold her young Great Uncle for drinking coffee at 2 AM instead of getting some rest, a large hand wraps around her little neck. She didn’t even have a chance to scream as she’s suddenly slammed into the now closed cabinet, the air knocked out of her lungs and her head spinning from the impact, a loud sound of ceramic shattering on the wooden floor echoing through the kitchen and Mabel’s ringing ears
A fearful confusion consumes her mind as she, unsure of what’s happening in her dazed state until she catches a glimpse of Stanford. Gone were the warm brown eyes she’s grown accustomed to, in their place were the sickly yellow slit eyes of a monster she knew all to well.
Bill Cipher.
“Shooting Star, there you are! I think you're getting a tad too comfortable around here! Let's fix that!"
Malice built in her throat as she spat out, her brows furrowed and her brown eyes glaring down his yellow ones, “Bill! You-”
“Ah, so you do know me! I assumed so, but wasn’t quite sure!”
The six fingered hand around her neck pressed a tad harder against the wooden cabinet behind her, making her wince from the pressure.
“Here’s the deal, Shooting Star, you’re being a massive thorn in my side.”
Her back was already aching from the impact of her getting slammed against the cabinet.
“Making Sixer second guess his trust in me with your insufferable kindness and child-like whimsy.”
Her sock-covered feet were slipping and sliding on the wooden countertop, legs uncontrollably trembling as her fingers gripped at Stanford’s large forearm in hopes of steadying herself.
“It was amusing at first but now it’s just annoying. So I need you,”
His hand tightened even more, making Mabel let out a sharp hiss of pain.
“Out of the picture.”
Mabel’s feet no longer are touching the countertop as Bill suddenly pulls her away from the cabinet, easily dangling her little body in the air and effectively hanging her. Panic instantly shoots through her and tears well up in her eyes as her airway is suddenly completely cut off, her little hands grabbing and clawing at her possessed great uncle’s forearm while her legs wildly kick at the air, too short to even graze against Bill’s chest.
Bill’s free hand raises up and idly taps his chin, as his musing over something indecisively, an wide and uncanny grin stretched across the possessed scientist’s face as he loudly questions, “Hmmm… how about… throwing you in the lake! If the water doesn’t kill you the cold air will!”
Mabel started to thrash around even harder, her heart pounding in her chest as fear coursed through every nerve in her body, her flight response in full gear as she tried over and over again to get out of Bill’s grip with no avail.
“Oooh! Or I could just tie you up and bury you in the snow! I hear frostbite is real killer these days!”
Blood was rushing to her ears; she could barely hear a word he was saying. All she could focus on was the panic bubbling in her chest and adrenaline pumping in her veins, screaming at her that she didn’t want to die.
It didn’t take long before her vision began to blur, her clawing hands and kicking feet getting more and more numb and slow with each passing seconds. She could faintly hear Bill say something about ‘throwing’, ‘roof’, and ‘classic!’ before she could feel herself almost completely clock out, vision fluttering in and out as her hand weakly claws at his arm one last time.
Just as she was about to give up completely, the polydactyl hand around her neck suddenly let go, sending Mabel unceremoniously crashing to the floor. She let in a large gasp of air, coughing her lungs out as air desperately tried to fill them once more. The brunette doesn’t even care about the small shards of broken ceramic cutting into her hands or shins, she was trying to make sure she didn’t accidentally start hyperventilating as drool and tears drip from her face to the floor with every sharp breath.
Mabel, disoriented and dazed, manages to glance up through strands of her long and curly brunette hair to see Ford still standing there with those disgusting yellow eyes, which were now staring off to space with annoyance clearly visible in his gaze.
"Geez Sixer, you chose the worst time to want your body back to 'test a new theory' huh?" He quietly mumbles under his breath, looking upset that his fun was being rudely ripped away from him.
Suddenly he stares down at Mabel, who was clutching her throat and panting heavily, brown eyes unable to stop crying. Despite this, despite all the pain and numbness that ran through her, she still found it in her to glare at the dream demon with as much animosity as she could muster while surrounded by ceramic shards and small prickles of blood.
"Well… we’ll just have to pick this up another time, won't we Shooting Star?"
The possessed body of Stanford Pines strolls towards the archway leading out of the kitchen, however before he leaves completely, he stops and whirls around with that same twisted smile Mabel vividly remembers seeing on her possessed brother’s face just a few months ago. "Oh, Shooting Star? Would you be a doll and clean up this mess? Wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt now, would we?"
And with one final cackle he left, making his way back downstairs to Stanford’s study, presumably to make it appear like he never left in the eyes of the oblivious scientist, leaving the little brunet alone on the floor to lightly grip her neck, wincing at the bruise that's bound to appear the next day.
She stayed there silently for what felt like hours but was only just a couple minutes, the adrenaline coursing through her veins slowly but surely fading away as the feeling finally came back to her numb fingers and toes, relieved that she isn’t hyperventilating anymore and she can actually breathe.
She eased herself off the cold wooden floor, her little body trembling the entire time.
Despite the feeling of spite coursing through her veins for that awful dream demon, he was right…, she really didn’t want anyone to get hurt… So instead of immediately going to fix herself up she spent the next 10 minutes sweeping up the broken mug and getting all the broken shards of ceramic into the trash.
Curse her and her big heart…!
When she was done it was about 2 AM, and it was now officially time to check the damage.
Before she left the kitchen she made sure to put the plates of cookies into the fridge.
She didn’t really feel hungry anymore.
With a couple of winces and hisses of pain she managed to tip toe herself up the stairs and to the bathroom, making sure she didn’t accidentally wake up Fiddleford by stepping on a loose plank or opening the door too loud. Once inside she gingerly pulls out the old timey medkit from under the sink and sits on the floor.
Well, technically the medkit was modern since it was the 80s…
Wah, Mabel! Not the time!
With a deep breath she gingerly treats the tiny cuts gracing her hands and shins, trying not to cry as she disinfects each cut just like Grunkle Ford taught her to at the end of the summer, plucking out mini pieces of ceramic embedded in her skin with a pair of tweezer like how her Grunkle Stan had taught her at the beginning of the summer (note from her past self, splinters are never fun).
Cleaning and applying band-aids to the cuts was the easy part, most of the bandages would be hidden under her sweater and the winter pants Fiddleford had gifted her during her first couple days staying at the shack.
It was her neck that was going to be hard to hide.
Mabel stood up and got on a step stool to look into the minor, immediately wincing at the sight of her bare neck, dark purple was already creeping in and bruising every bit of her neck. The brunette leaned closer to get a better look and almost whispered out one of the many swears she had accidentally learned from Stanford while living here.
There was a hand bruised into her neck, and it encompassed her entire neck.
She gingerly touched her neck and winced at the dull pain. Guess she wasn’t going to take off her sweater for about 2 weeks now… just 1 week if she was lucky enough…
She tentatively took a step outside of the bathroom and tiptoed down the hallway again, trying to not make a single sound. Just when she got to the steps she heard a door open behind her, causing her to instantly crouch down and hope that she was far enough down the stairs that her body was hidden from sight.
She dared herself to peek just above the top step to see Fiddleford standing outside of his room, stretching and yawning before closing his door and walking towards the bathroom Mabel just left, making the 13-year-old let out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t going to see her like this.
She knew she should probably tell Fiddleford what happened, but she just couldn’t. Maybe it was that childish fear of getting in trouble over nothing getting to her, or maybe it was the fear that her young Grunkle would be blamed for what Bill did.
Regardless, despite her better judgment, she kept her mouth shut and decided to hide her bruises from everyone else in the house, silently thinking of a way she could somehow protect herself from Bill.
She could practically hear Dipper yelling at her about how bad of an idea this was, but she was too shaken up to think of anything else…
So, she kept with the plan even as she shakily slipped a sweater over her large t-shirt she wore as a night gown and fell asleep on the couch, huddled in the corner in a ball as vivid nightmares haunted her fitful sleep, showing flashes of a possessed Stanford Pines throwing her off either the house or a water tower.
She woke up the next day to the warm smell of breakfast and the soft tones of Fidd's humming a tune in the kitchen, her body absolutely aching and a tad sweaty from the combo of the sweater and the fireplace keeping the room warm.
Mabel winced as she got off the couch. Yep… her back is definitely bruised.
She tentatively walked towards the open archway leading into the kitchen, silently calming her nerves and trying to put a smile onto her face. It helped that Fiddleford is making breakfast, she loves his food.
The kicthen was so empty when she first arrived but the southern man immediately starting keeping the place stocked when it was clear that she was going to stay there for a while. He also insistent on making her a meal 3 times a day since she was a ‘growin’ lil’ girl’. Because of her memories of Fiddleford being ‘Old Man McGucket’ were much more prominent in her brain it was easy to forget that he was once a father, but in those domestic moments when he doted and fussed over her it was clear that he was a good one.
Well, when he was sane that is…
She quickly shook off the bleak memory.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…
She let out a low breath as a wide smile covered her face, her round cheeks rosy as she happily skipped inside.
Fiddleford perked up at the sound of Mabel walking inside, smiling as immediately spoke with a fond voice, "Ey there sweetpea, sleep well?" He idly glanced behind to see Mabel in her baggy t-shirt/sleep gown as well as a sweater on top of that, making him raise an eyebrow as he playfully asks, "Did someone get' cold last night?"
"Just a little bit." Mabel playfully replied back, unable to stop the wince that crossed her face at the sound of her hoarse voice.
Fiddleford, who was already done making breakfast, immediately whipped his head around at the sound. "Honeybee, are ya' alright?"
She lightly coughs into her fist a couple times and passingly remarks, “I’m fine, it's just morning gunk! Just need some water, haha!” Trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
Fiddleford still had a suspicious look in his eye as he looked over the little lady before deciding to let her off easy with this one, grabbing a rag and wiping his hands while replying with a quiet, “Alright, if ya say so, sunshine…”
He quickly pours Mabel a glass of water and then grabs a plate of bacon and pancakes. “Fer you, made just how you like it,” Mabel sits down in her chair as Fiddleford places the glass of water in front of her and a plate of pancakes and some bacon that is extremely burnt. “Burnt in a volcano.”
The brunette drinks some water first, happy to note that it actually does ease the pain in her throat! After that she eagerly grabs a burnt piece of bacon and shoves it into her mouth, loving the way flakey black residue smears onto her fingers and the overwhelming taste of what can only be described as ‘BURNT’ fills her mouth. She muffles out, “It’s perfect!” In between bites as Fiddleford chuckles at her antics and makes himself a plate. “Yer such an odd lil’ duck, honeydew! Only kid I’ve ever met who wanna me ta’ burn their meal!”
Mabel immediately shoots back, pointing at Fiddleford with a mouth full of bacon, “Tahts cause ohther peowple are COWERDS!!!”
The lanky man lets out a full on belly laugh as he grabs his plate and sits at the table, the two beginning to talk about anything that crosses their mind.
Stanford wasn’t going to join them for breakfast. He’s usually asleep at this time or buried in whatever notes he was currently writing.
…Mabel feels a little bad that she's kinda happy he wouldn’t join them… Her throat feels like it’s constricting all over again at the thought of those sickly yellow eyes and horrid laughter…
At some point while eating, Fiddleford makes a joke that makes Mabel loudly laugh, the sudden shout of laughter causing her to wince and try to grab at her throat. She stops herself a couple inches short of the grab and quickly puts her hand back down, but the damage was already done.
Fiddleford, concern coming back at full force, puts down his fork and immediately asks with a concerned tone, "Honey, is ‘ere somethin' wrong with ‘ur neck?"
Sweat began to bead on Mabel’s forehead and she tried to immediately brush off the concern with a not so convincing, "Whaaaaat, psh, nah!"
He raises an eyebrow at the clearly nervous little girl. "Mabel, if yer' hurt I'd like to know."
She starts to fidget in her seat, fingers wrapping together and her brown eyes darting away. "Look, it's not thaaaat bad you don't gotta worry about it-"
At the confirmation that she is indeed hurt makes him sit up and shoot back, "Well tha' just makes me MORE worried bout it!"
Unable to come up with anymore excuses Mabel plays with a fork in front of her, eyes locked with her plate. Fiddleford let out a soft sigh and leans closer to the brunette across the table and rests his hand on hers, a kind smile on his face as he gently adds on with that fatherly tone that immediately made Mabel feel better, "Darling, it ain't gonna get better if ya’ don't lemme help. I promise I ain’t gon’ get mad, ya hear?"
Mabel tentatively glanced up at the southern man’s soft green eyes and could tell he meant every kind word.
So, despite her promising to keep her injuries a secret, she takes a deep breath and nods her head, gingerly taking off the thick hand-made sweater to leave her neck and bandaged up arms exposed to the world. The lanky southern man’s eyes seem to grow more horrified every passing second.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph-"
Fiddleford jumps up from the table, almost making his plate fall off while doing so, quickly rounding the table and crouching in front of the brunette with green eyes filled with so much worry and horror.
He found himself fussing over the girl who had easily wormed herself into his and Ford's hearts and found himself growing even more sickened at every bruise and cut he found, though nothing could compare to that sinking feeling of dread he felt looking at Mabel's bruised neck.
He cupped the brunette’s face and could feel tears well up in his eyes as he stuttered out a confused, "W-wha'..., Mabel wha' on earth happened-" His heart breaking trying to even comprehend what could have happened to her.
On the opposite end, Mabel could feel her heart swell at Fidd's fatherly fussing, but tried to brush it off the best she could, not wanting him to worry about her.
"I'm fine really! I just, uh… tripped down the stairs…? …Yeah! Didn't want to worry you, haha!"
Fiddleford, who suddenly stopped paying attention to what Mabel was saying, let his eyes looking closer at the girl's neck before they widened in a horrifying realization.
"I… Is tha' a hand…?"
A rush of panic suddenly runs through Mabel as she tries to come up with some excuse to throw him off, something, anything!
"Fidd’s it's FINE! I just… uh… wore a sweater that was too tight…?” Goodness she’s screwed, even she was aware of how unsure she sounded.
Fiddleford still wasn’t paying attention. Instead one of his hands lowered from her rosy cheeks and ever so slightly touched her neck with the lightest of touches. His green gaze was analytical as finger traced down the bruised skin, talking to himself so quietly that even Mabel almost didn’t hear him as he quietly began to count.
“One, two, three, four, five, s-”
The blond cut himself off with a sharp inhale through his nose as the look of worry that had previously graced the southern man's face suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a look Mabel had never seen on his face before.
It was a quiet anger. The kind of anger that's terrifying to witness as it bubbles from deep inside but you refuse to let it show on your face, even as your hands begin to tremble and your vision goes red.
Without saying a word Fiddleford stood up and stayed completely silent, unable to say a word for about 10 seconds while his face was blank and unreadable. Finally, Fiddleford looked down at Mabel and gave a kind smile that didn't fully reach his eyes.
"Sweetie, could ya' stay here a sec? I have something importan' I need tha’… discuss… with Stanferd."
After finishing that statement he gently patted the top of her brunette head and walked out of the kitchen archway, turning the corner and heading up the stairs that lead to Stanford's room, walking with such silent intensity that it kinda frightened her.
After a couple moments of staying frozen in her chair she finally managed to shake off the feeling, realizing she had to stop Fiddleford! As scary as it would be seeing Stanford again after last night's… incident… she couldn't just let Fiddleford go confront Ford without the full story!
She sprang up from her chair and winced at the pain radiating from her back. Yep! Still definitely bruised!
Mabel rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She stumbles to a stop at the end of the steps as she sees Fiddleford standing outside Ford's door, just as quiet as he was downstairs. He raises his hand and gives a firm echoing knock and she could faintly hear her young Grunkle respond with a strong, "Come in!"
She hates that she shivers a bit at his voice.
She hates that she's a little bit afraid of him.
Fiddleford doesn't respond and instead just opens the door and then quietly closes it behind him. The door doesn’t close all the way which makes a sliver of light from Ford's bedroom/study shine against the floor in the hallway.
Well... Fiddleford hadn't broken any windows or started yelling, so maybe, just maybe, he's going in there to calmly talk out the problem with Ford? Well, that was more wishful thinking on Mabel's part. She HOPES they will just, talk it out, and no one will get hurt...
A loud crash and shout echoed through the hallway.
A girl could dream can't she?
Mabel sprints to Stanford’s door, tripping over herself the whole way, and yanks open the heavy wooden door as quickly as she could.
When she finally pries it open she’s greeted with the sight of Fiddleford in the middle of trying to choke out Stanford, while Stanford is leaning against one of his smaller wooden cabinets, pushing Fidds away (to the best of his ability) with his foot, clutching his very bloody nose in confusion.
Mabel rushes in and pushes the southern man away from her bleeding Great Uncle to the best of her ability but Fiddleford upon seeing Mabel finally backs off from trying to murder Ford, but the look of pure anger firmly remains on his face.
Ford looks at Fiddleford with pure confusion as he pushes himself off the small wooden cabinet, clutching his bleeding nose all the while.
"F, what on earth has gotten into you!"
Fiddleford stared back with his mouth agape, absolutely gobsmacked, before finally yelling back, "Wha'- what's gotten into ME?! What's gotten into YOU Stanferd Pines!"
Fidds pushed past Mabel and jabbed his finger into the brunet’s chest.
"She's a lil girl?! How DARE you even lay a FINGER on her!"
"F what on earth are you talking about?!"
Fiddleford roughly grabs Ford's shoulders and pushes him to look towards Mabel with a surprising amount of force.
"SHE'S what I'm talkin' bout! Stanferd Filbrick Pines who gave you tha' idea ya' had tha' GODDAMN right to even lay a FINGER on her-"
Stanford couldn't focus on the rant Fiddleford poured into his ears instead his eyes state frozen on the disgusting purple mark staining Mabel's neck.
"Mabel… who-"
Stanford knelt next to the sweet girl who reminded him so much of Stanley in his youth and felt a familiar pang in his chest. That feeling he'd feel whenever Lee came home covered in bruises. That feeling to protect… and to hurt anyone who dares to hurt them.
"Sweetheart… who did this? What happened?"
Fiddleford scoffed. "Ya should know."
Ford shivered at how cold F had sounded. Out of all of his years of knowing him, Fidds had never sounded like this.
Then the meaning of those words finally hit him.
Stanford rushed to stand up and looked back to Fiddleford's furious eyes with his own look of disbelief.
"Y-... You think I did this?"
Fiddleford's eyes didn't change in the slightest.
"Ya'. Ya' I do."
"We've known each other for years, we went to college together, I went to your wedding, you are easily my best friend. Do you honestly think I'm capable of doing something like this?!"
"I used ta'," Fidds crossed his arms. "Now I ain't so sure."
Ford didn't know HOW to feel. This felt like a betrayal but not in the way Stanley's felt. He also felt offended. And hurt. And so many other emotions that were swirling in his chest.
"How? How did you even get it in your head that I had something to do with this!? How could you look at me and even IMAGINE me hurting her?! I can't even imagine myself hurting her! She's-"
"Hand."
Ford froze from his rant.
"What."
"Yer' tha' only one who coulda' done it. How do I know? Hand."
"Ya' always go on an' on about the statistics of someone' being polydactyly. About how different ya' are."
"I want ya' to look at how many fingers are on that handprint on 'er neck, look me in tha' eye, and tell me who's most likely tha' guilty party."
Stanford froze, his face turning white at the realization. He didn't need to turn around and investigate the bruise on Mabel's neck. He now knows it had 6 fingers. When you put all the facts together, one thing is clear.
He IS the most likely person to have done it.
But there's a problem with that.
He DEFINITELY didn't do it.
He glanced back at Mabel, who seemed to be nervously pulling at her nightgown the entire time. After a moment she finally glances up, but after looking into his brown eyes for less than a second she quickly looked back down.
He didn't do it. He knows he didn't.
But if he didn't, why did she look so scared of him?
He didn't do it…
…Didn’t he…?
❔—————————————❓
Now this is a bonus doodle based on an idea I had for the aftermath of this! Stanford is stuck mulling over this in his room and when he finally leaves he notes that Mabel isn't asleep on the couch like usual. So of course he freaks out and assumes she ran away, running all over the house in hopes of finding her. He runs upstairs to Fiddleford’s room and knocks frantically on his door to get him to help him find the missing girl.
Fiddleford opens the door looking annoyed and tired. When Stanford says he can’t find Mabel and that he’s looked everywhere the southern man cuts him off by instantly replying “I know where she is.” That instantly calms down Ford but he looks confused as he asks “You do?” To which Fidd’s opens the door a little bit more to show Mabel asleep on his bed.
Stanford lets out a soft ‘Oh.’ And just stands there, looking awkwardly at Fiddleford for a moment before trying to break the tension with a weak chuckle and asking “Did she want to have a sleepover?” The blond doesn’t even hesitate to reply back, “Yeah. Because she’s scared of you, Stanford.” And closing the door on the brunet’s face.
Stanford doesn’t move for what feels like forever before he heads back to his room, feeling a little sick.
Anywho, I’m done now!!!
I’m happy and sorry you read through all of that, you can leave now! 💥💥💥
#I’m a firm believer that Fiddleford is a coward second and a protective father first!#you put a unaccompanied child in front of him his focus is SOLEY on that kid for the foreseeable future :]#timestuck au#gravity falls timestuck au#gravity falls au#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fandom#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls writing#mabel pines#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#fanart#art#digital art#drabble#one shot#fandom writing#citricacidart#tw choking#tw asphyxiation#tw mention of murder#tw minor blood
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Sunny Day Jack ★ Stari’s Versions
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★ DO NOT USE/REPOST WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. NO MINORS.
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Apologies for the tumblr inactivity, space crew! I’m much more active over on Twitter!
Here’s a simple lineup of Jack designs that I’ll be personally using for myself! I love when artists take a character and add their own personal twists on them, so I’ve done the same to my favorite technicolor clown.
I’ve also seen a few people be interested in two other designs that I’ve done, so I’ve added them to the lineup as well for others to use or to see their full outfits!
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Here’s a explanation of each design element if you all are interested in that:
Sunnyverse Jack(Left):
Sunnyverse!Jack is my personal interpretation, artistic recolor, and story with him. He is basically a spin-off of the Sunny Time Town AU by JambeeBot.
I wanted his jacket to reflect looking up at a vibrant summer sky, with clouds, rainbow pockets, swirls, and stickers to add to the childlike wonder. His different color suspenders replaces the stripes on his shirt, which is now a sun on the collar!
I’ve personally always liked the idea of Jack’s hair cascading into purple tips, it’s been referenced in many other drawings of mine. Considering Papa Rise also has purple-ish hair, I think it fits!
This design went through a couple sketch phases and some reworks with the most recent showcase being the birthday drawing of Artemis, where this design can be seen in now outdated-concept!
Alternate Outfit (Middle):
Over a year ago, I made a drawing about Jack and bowties, spreading my bowtie propaganda…. And I still am HAHA. Listen, Jack with a bowtie is so cute, So I’m bringing that design back as well as a full ref!
I’d like to say that this is his work or side outfit, but this is not the teacher AU. I did not create that AU, so don’t refer to this design as the teacher AU!
Even though I don’t consider Jack as a rodeo clown, I gave him clown cowboy boots to reference [Redacted] and his southern residence somewhere.
Rainbow Factory Jack(Right):
RainbowFactory!Jack or RF!Jack is an AU I made last year as well, and finally got around to giving you all a full standing ref for him!
He got more attention than I thought, I know a couple of you like delusional men. I get it.
For his hair, aside from the primary highlights, I also changed the coloring to be a bit more muddled and darker on the teal spectrum, as I like to do that when I draw Jack in a not so-friendly manner. His hair is also more spiked, compared to the others who have more of a fluffy round curl.
His coat is very simple, red and yellow stripes down to a cloud border, and the inside of the coat shows a giant sun on the underside. He also has different color rainbow splotches in different places on him!
His eyes can vary in size or be consistent, and the colors of them can change or spiral too! Usually though, the right eye is lighter than the other. His colors are more saturated and darker than the other designs.
Cotton Candy Cupid Jack:
Finally, the last design I have in the lineup is Cupid!Jack!
This is the first custom design I’ve made of Jack. Shared in this post, this was meant to be the Valentine’s Day design I had for him! Though this drawings is extremely old and outdated now for both my MC and art, I decided to carry it on to a proper Cupid AU design for everyone!
He was originally labeled as Cotton Candy Jack in a wip post that keeps getting shared around from time to time, but I’m unsure if I should keep that name for this lover boy now! There was a community cotton candy Jack trend a month or two ago, so maybe I should change the name? What do you all think?
Design wise he parallels the classic Incubus Jack, which I believe was originally a Halloween costume. His design shares similarities on purpose, being the extended body paint gradient and the sheer fabric overlay on the pants.
Almost like an angel/devil duo, Cupid Jack is more pastel, softer/brighter primary hues, has fluffy wings! My goal was to have them be similar enough side by side, but also different enough to tell that they are different themes/holidays.
He has a motif of hearts, ribbons, and sun swirls. His hair gradient is also the most vibrant one, going from cyan to a vibrant pink at the tips.
He has sandals because I thought it fit the whole Cupid vibe, but drawing his dogs out every-time might actually be the end of me.
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While I will use these personal redesigns, I want to make it clearly stated and obvious that Jack is not my original character, nor are these redesigns an attempt to change his character or completely detach him from his media. There are simply my fun artistic portrayals of him, as I admire his original design, media, and game as well.
The Rainbow Factory and Cupid AUs are technically my AUs. Ship art, written stories, headcanons, etc. of RF or Cupid Jack are completely okay to create! I just ask that you tag me so that I can see what you all do with him!
However, I ask that if Sunnyverse Jack is used, please ask for permission before using his custom design, as it is my own design of him that I use personally.
…and also, I wanna see more MV Jacks! Artists! Show me how you would draw him in your trademark! I love creative expression!
#sunny day jack#swwsdj#sunny day jack au#sdjsunnyverse#sunny time town#sdj#rainbowfactoryjack#cupidjack#cotton candy jack#Sunny Day Jack but in my eyes#colorful clown man gets more colorful
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Hi! "Are you sure everything is okay?" for the 5 sentence thingy? 💜 ive been thinking about the new fools in a fable chapter all day idk how i will ever recover
Tina!!!!! Thank you for the lovely prompt, here is…..a Wilmon!soulmate/soulmark something 😖 hope you’re somewhat satisfied haha.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?”
Wilhelm looks away, gnawing at the ragged flesh of lip. Despite Erik’s voice echoing faint and tinny over the phone, his tone is far too knowing for his liking. “Yeah,” he repeats, slamming his locker closed. “I’m fine.”
“Wille, you know I can’t help you if you never tell me anything.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” he insists, “I’m just really fucking tired.”
“Fine,” Erik sighs, sounding exasperated, “if that’s how you’re going to be, then - ”
“Then what?” Wilhelm snarls, “if I’m going to be like what, Erik?”
“If you’re going to be like this,” Erik snaps, sounding frustrated. “I just called to check up on you, Wille, you don’t need to jump down my fucking throat about it.”
“Yeah, well, what part of I’m fine do you not fucking understand?”
There’s a long moment of silence. Then, Erik scoffs. “Okay,” he huffs an annoyed laugh, “you can call me back when you’re done being a dick.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah,” Erik says coolly, “fuck you too, little brother.”
The line goes dead then, and Wilhelm has to fight against the urge to throw his phone across the hallway. Instead, he finds himself slamming a palm against the front of his locker, the metal rattling loud and sudden around him. The resulting, sharp pain makes him hiss, even if his body is still thrumming with tightly wound rage.
He blinks down at his hand for a long moment and the cheery, golden heart etched into the back of it stares back at him mockingly. What is supposed to be a promise of love and understanding has quickly turned into Wilhelm’s worst nightmare. There has to be some way to get rid of it. Wilhelm can’t spend the rest of his life looking down at it, imagining and wishing for what could have been.
The soft sound of a throat clearing behind him interrupts his spiraling, and Wilhelm spins around at once.
Sure enough, it’s Simon standing there. Because of course it is. Simon in all his beautiful, curly-haired glory, looking as though he’s been touched by the sun itself.
He’s clutching a set of notebooks to his chest, eyes wide and worried. Wilhelm can’t help the way his own gaze zeros in on the back of Simon’s hand, desperate for even a glimpse of the matching golden heart that resides there.
It’s easy to find today, peeking out from behind Simon’s deep purple sleeve.
“Hey,” Simon says. He sounds awkward, hesitant.
For a second, Wilhelm is seized with the hope that Simon has sought him out, that maybe, Simon actually wants to talk to him. He wipes his palms on the sides of his jeans. “Hi.”
They stare at each other for a moment, caught in a breathless dance of silence.
Then Simon tilts his head towards the lockers behind where Wilhelm is standing, gesturing to the books in his arms. “Sorry, could I - ?”
The hope rushes out of him so fast that Wilhelm feels woozy with the loss of it. “Yeah,” he slumps, moving over, “sorry, go ahead.”
He watches as Simon moves to his own locker, twisting the lock open with long, elegant fingers. As he slides the books in though, he hesitates, eyes flickering over to where Wilhelm is still standing there, staring. “Are you - okay?”
Wilhelm swallows, his voice coming out hoarse. “Fine.” He grits his teeth against the urge to do something pathetic. “You?”
Simon’s arm jerks as he closes his locker door, turning the lock once more. “I’m good.”
“Yeah?”
At that, Simon’s eyes narrow. The first sign of a fight. “Should I not be?”
“I don’t know,” Wilhelm scoffs, “you tell me.”
Simon makes an aborted movement, almost like he’s contemplating making a break for it. At his side, his hands turn to fists. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“What’s my problem?” Wilhelm asks incredulously. “What the fuck is your problem?” There are distress flares going off at the back of his mind now, but Wille stamps them out as quickly as they light.
“What’re you talking about?”
“I mean - I’m not - ” Wille gestures wildly between them, “I’m not the one who doesn’t want this. Us.”
Simon’s expression crumples. “Wille - ”
“No, like, it’s fine, it’s not that I - care that much. But - ” Wille laughs, the sound ringing hysterical in the empty corridor, “you’re supposed to be mine.”
Simon’s face floods with color. He looks outraged. “Don’t ever say anything like that to me again.” He turns his back to Wille, turns to the door, turns to leave him behind once more, and a panic so vicious claws its way up Wille’s chest that he can barely breathe.
“Wait,” he begs, reaching out to grip Simon’s warm shoulder. “Wait, Simon. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Simon stills, uncertain eyes flickering back to him over his shoulder.
“What I mean to say is,” Wille struggles for air. He has to get this right. It might be his last chance. “I’m yours. We - we’re a match.”
Simon is quiet for a long time. When he finally speaks, it’s only to say, “So?”
“So - we - we’re supposed to be together,” Wilhelm hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s begging but he’s not sure if it’s really working.
“Says who?”
Wille swallows tightly, tracing the soft, delicate curve of Simon’s jaw with his eyes. “I don’t understand. Did I - did I do something wrong, Simon? Is that why you don’t - want me?”
Something jolts across Simon’s face then, a raw emotion that’s gone before Wilhelm can fully catalog. Suddenly, he scrambles towards the door. “I have to go,” he tries to duck out of Wille’s grasp. “The bus is going to - “
Wille catches his wrist, tugging until Simon turns to face him, his eyes wide and wet. “Just tell me why,” Wille begs, “I’ll leave you alone after this, I promise. Simon. I’ve had this mark since I was four. I’ve been looking for you for - for - ”
“And I’ve had this mark since last Wednesday,” Simon breaks, voice loud enough to make him wince.
Wille flinches, his insides going cold. “What do you mean by that?”
“Come on, Wille,” Simon rolls his eyes. He looks angry, brows pulled together unhappily. “Your friends shit on me all the time. Your cousin shits on me all the time. And you just stand there and laugh.”
“I don’t laugh!”
Simon looks at him in deep disbelief. “Uh - yeah you do. And it’s whatever. It’s not like I expect you to stand up for me or something. We barely know each other.”
“But we could get to know each other,” Wille shoots back hotly.
“For what?” Simon lets out a breath of bitter laughter. “It’s not like you would’ve looked twice at me if it weren’t for that fucking mark.”
Wilhelm feels his mouth part in shock. He does a double take of Simon, of the lovely silhouette of his slender shoulders, his soft looking curls, his smooth, unblemished skin, the button nose, the fire that lights his dark eyes, the steel that lines his spine. “That’s not true.”
But Simon only rolls his eyes. “Wake up, Wille, we literally have nothing in common. You’re not my fucking soulmate.”
Wilhelm bites back a sharp flare of hurt. He lets go of Simon’s wrist. “Okay. Fine,” he concedes, vision blurring with tears. “Maybe I’m not your soulmate. But you’re definitely mine.“
From his pocket, his phone buzzes twice. Wilhelm shoots Simon one last smile, drinking in his sweet, wide-eyes gaze before he turns, pulling the offending device out just to give his hands something to do. Perhaps he should call Erik back now, maybe even come clean about everything.
He waits for the telltale sound of receding footsteps, but they never come. Instead, there’s a quiet shuffling, followed by a blissful line of heat pressed along his back.
Simon buries his nose in crook of his neck, and Wilhelm almost jumps out of skin from how good it feels. The heart on his hand feels like it’s singing, warm and alive.
“Alright,” Simon whispers, looping an arm around his middle. The fear in his voice is palpable. “Let’s try then. If you’re so sure.”
Wille reaches down to thread their fingers together, hearts lining up as one. He shakes his head. “Not if you don’t want to, Simon.”
“Of course I do,” Simon’s voice is very quiet, “that’s what makes it so scary.”
Wilhelm squeezes his hand tighter, too afraid to breathe. “You can trust me.”
There’s a long moment of silence, weighted in its intensity. Against him, Simon’s frame shakes. “Okay.”
Wilhelm exhales deeply, nodding. He tries his best to ignore how it sounds like Simon is lying.
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4.4k/ Reader pov x soshiro build up/ reader has a big family/ it's chaotic but in a good way/ some drama with soshiro/ angy soshiro/ trying my darndest to be gn with my reader POV but im sure i missed somethin/ i guess hurt and comfort?/ where are all my ppl with loud and invasive families at haha
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Soshiro has yelled before. “Get those legs up!” “More! C’mon I know you got more in you!” “Ten more reps then we’ll call it a day!” all commands in training or shouting orders when on a mission. Sure, he’s yelled and shouted at all of you a whole lot. But always in your best interest. For your protection, strength, encouragement, to make you better. But this time was different.
It got very silent after he did. This time he wasn't shouting from his usual place of care. He was angry. Almost menacing even. Worse, it was directed at you.
You dropped your staff in the middle of armed combat training. It happens. Not a big deal. Usually. People drop staffs, swords, guns, all the time and then everyone corrects form and moves on. Not today.
You’re frozen in place. For the first time you find yourself afraid of the vice captain. There is always the knowledge that he could kill you if he really wanted to. He is extremely talented and could take a whole school of trainees. Of course. There is the reverence of his ability at all times. But to feel like it could be used against you? You’ve never felt fear quite like that sink into your bones. You’re sure your skin has gone pale and your basic bodily functions like breathing and heartbeat faltered. Everyone else feels it too. His eyes, a brilliant violet, are staring into yours and you can't move. The strength you were using a moment ago vanishes.The tension in his body seems ready to pounce on you. What did you do wrong? You couldn't understand. You go through all your movements in your head. Everyone drops fighting props. What did you do wrong? He berated you infront of everyone and internally you're doing it to yourself now too.
Kafka breaks the silence in the room and the panic in your head. “Hey, uh, vice captain, I’ll work with them.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and with a tug pulls you out of your frozen state and guides you away from Soshiro’s glare to a far corner of the gymnasium. Soshiro doesn't argue and you feel his eyes on the both of you as you’re guided away. The tension is still heavy in the air as you both walk.
Practice continues quietly and with hesitancy from everyone as they avoid being on the receiving end of any more of his ire. You can feel eyes on you and murmurs of “Shit, that was intense.” “They okay?” “I wouldn't be.” You're still shaking a bit as Kafaka tries to guide you through the movements. A pitying look on his face you're half grateful for. You’re still trying to figure out what happened. What did you do that was so incorrect? Maybe something you did before this?
“Hey.” Kafka’s low soft voice snaps you back from your spiral again. “Keep your eyes on me okay?”
You nod trying to steel your nerves but you’re too afraid to look back at the vice captain. God, you think you’re going to cry actually. His anger is so frightening but more so is the thought of disappointing him. Kafka is fighting you with the same gentleness he would use on a kitten.
Practice ends and your friends practically run to you. You're grateful for the shield they provide as you all put your weapons away and leave the gym. You still don't dare to look at the vice captain. Embarrassed, hurt and tired you let them guide you to the cafeteria.
“Okay what the fuck was that?” Iharu asks once you're all out of earshot from Soshiro.
“Yeah, that was a bit much.” Reno says.
“A bit? It was uncalled for.” Kikoru says, noticeably upset. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for berating people when it's called for but (y/n) wasn't doing anything wrong. We all drop our staff sometimes.”
“Yeah, especially during sparring.” says Reno
“You didn't do anything to piss him off before training did ‘ya?” Iharu asks you.
“No? I don't think so?” It's not like you havent been thinking about it. It's all youve been thinking about. What did you do that was so wrong?
“Hey, even if they did, that kind of reaction is uncalled for.” Kikoru says.
“She’s right.” Reno says. “Even if (y/n) had, vice captain still has to be mindful of how he carries out punishment. Obviously after he did that it affected morale.”
“Was he acting a bit off to any of you before training started?” Kikoru asks.
“Nah, I didn't notice anything.” Iharu says.
“What else is new?” Reno remarks.
“Hey!” Iharu says, punching Renos arm.
“Yeah, way to have self awareness, Iharu.” Kikoru adds.
You all laugh at Iharu’s expense and his many failed objections to having some level of self awareness.
Kafka sighs “I don't know what that was but I bet it's got nothing to do with you, yeah?” he rests a heavy arm over your shoulders as you all reach the cafeteria. “At least you won't be here for the rest of the week.”
“Oh yeah, your big family gathering and all.” Iharu pinches your arm.
That brings a smile to your face. You haven't seen your family in months, much less extended family and you're excited to have some home cooking and for your parents to buy your dinners for you when you all go sightseeing. You appreciate your friends so much for trying to make you feel better. A family away from your own. Kafka is probably right. Maybe something did happen to Soshiro before training. It still stung though.
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Five days go by in a very turbulent cyclone of hugs, sometimes the bear kind, kisses, hand shaking, other times straight up picking you up and shaking your whole body greetings. “Cousin!” “Sister!” “Mom!” “Uncle!” “Dad!” “Look at you! You’re real strong now, huh?” “Can we fight?” “How many kaiju have you killed?” “Any cute guys you got your eye on?” “Do you travel a lot?” “Do you get to keep body parts?” “Where can I get their body parts?” “Gross.” “I bet it's fun.” “I bet it's gross.” “Stop talking about it. I hate thinking about my baby in that situation.” “They arent your baby anymore!” “Yeah they are. Just a bigger baby now.” And on and on like that constantly for days. It doesn't particularly end at night either.
You’ve all gathered at your grandfather's house managing to squeeze something like 15 people (with more coming and going) into four bedrooms, two living rooms, four closets and some even camping in the kitchen. Still more come for dinners and outings but do not stay the night. At night you can hear your mother and aunts cackle and chat about old boyfriends, girlfriends, some information you could have gone your whole life not hearing about your uncles and who in the family died recently. They talk outside for hours and still get up before everyone else to make breakfast. Your uncles outside talking about work and how their jobs are treating them. Maybe find new contacts through each other. Not everyone could take the time off for the reunion. Some come and go for work. Some drop by for lunch. Some relatives you only see briefly, some you spend the whole week with. Your grandfather half heartedly watching the kids with your other grandfather. Your afternoons with your cousins are left chatting about who's dating who, who's going to work where, accepted to what school, marrying someone here, going on a trip elsewhere.
Long walks, shopping trips, hikes, several grocery runs, long drives, sleeping in cramped seats, lots of cleaning after dinner, arguing about bathroom order. You figure every single minute was used for something. It feels like a lof once you reflect on it but it's familiar and comforting even if stressful at times. Finding the quiet moments to speak in the silence of a tired house late at night are some of the best conversations you ever have. They happen in bedrooms, on the patio, in the backyard, in the kitchen, outside past the gate on the sidewalk, the bathroom. Whispers of gossip, your aunt's new young boyfriend, your cousin's way too expensive car that has your aunt shake her head when mentioned. Tense moments that are forced to pass, laughter that hurts your sides when you breathe, honestly that brings some to cry, reminiscing of days that make everyone silent and listen intently. Understanding this is passed wisdom you may not get the chance to hear again. Sometimes this all happens at once in the same room.
Your mom announces she wants to have a big dinner tonight since most of your family will leave the following day. All day all hands are helping cook, clean, shop, set tables, chairs, speakers, putting on makeup, doing hair, choosing outfits and shopping some more.
Finally everyone is in for the evening and once again settling down for long conversations, drinking, playing games, eating and dancing. You are often on your feet getting this for that uncle, helping an aunt with that, giving a cousin this, talking to grandma about some other thing you haven't thought about since you were eight.
You finally get a chance to sit at a crowded table breathing in for a moment. So many family and friends showed up that the dinner had to spill out to the patio from inside. Then more friends and family arrived and then it spilled out into the front yard. All the young, too cool teens in the backyard, your cousins closer to your age crowded around you talking, well, more like yelling but that's just how they speak. Your older aunts and uncles half singing half telling stories to laugh at each other too. Some others helping set up hanging lights on the trees. Soshiro casually speaking with one of your uncles by the gate. The kids chase each other with toys or beg for a water slide.
Wait.
Soshiro casually speaking with your uncle by the front gate?
No, you weren't drinking unlike your other cousins so you definitely were not imagining Soshiro casually holding a conversation with your uncle. Now one of your aunts is walking towards him with a drink. Oh god what is going on.
You shoot up to your feet and try as fast as you can to get to him but have to shove past chairs and tables set tightly by each other. Push by family standing and talking. Squeeze around others carrying food and barely managing not to trip past spatially challenged adults and children.
“Vice captain!” You shout although you don't mean to be so loud but you are still not convinced this is really happening. You’re actually not sure if you didn't drink something earlier while being tossed around for chores and taking a sip from anything to quench your thirst and forgot.
Soshiro turns to you with his usual unreadable expression. He’s holding what looks like orange soda in his hand. “Hello (y/n). I hope you don't mind my intrusion but I really wanted to talk to you-”
“(y/n)! Why didn't you say you were going to have guests come today?” your aunt that handed him his drink asks.
“I didn't know I had any.” you say to her confused, worried, and maybe a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry I wasn't expecting anyone from the division to show up. What are you doing here?” you ask him. A million scenarios of how this evening could go horribly wrong play out. You're suddenly very self conscious.
Before Soshiro can say anything you see one of your uncles walk towards you and give you both a look. You know that look. It's the look every family member in the history of family has always given when they are about to ask the dreaded question. You are too late to stop him from asking: “Boyfriend?”
“NO!” you shout just as the word comes out of his mouth. But now you’ve managed to attract everyone's attention within earshot. You hope the music drowned out your uncle asking that. You dare a quick look at Soshiro’s face but it's unmoving. Thank god he's always had such a good poker face.
Cousins begin to walk up “Hey, there (y/n)’s friend that is definitely not a boyfriend! What's your name?”
This is gonna be a long evening.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're both sitting next to each other. It's been something like three hours and they have not stopped asking Soshiro questions. It's not everyday a famous kaiju killing officer shows up to a family gathering. You’re exhausted from trying to protect Soshiro from evasive questions but he takes it all in stride. He answers all questions promptly and gives just the right amount of information. He’s so tactful with your rude family it's admirable. There's no point in you telling them not to ask something because Soshiro has already responded. You stop trying to stop it. He's perfectly trained in combat and intrusive family conversation too it seems.
“So vice captain, is (y/n) any good at what they do?” a cousin asks with a baby on his lap.
You’re about to say something but then remember the last training session you had with your division. You’re actually not so certain yourself.
“(y/n) has exceeded all of my expectations.” he turns to you. “I couldn't have asked for a better officer to be in my platoon.”
You search his face for a clue of him joking or waiting for a punchline. But his smile is sincere. You want to be moved by his response but you think he's probably just trying to make you look good in front of your family.
Your cousins murmur their comments of approval among themselves. “Hey, vice captain, would you like something else to drink?” one of your cousins asks from further down the table.
“Please, I’ll get my own drink. Don't trouble yourself.” he stands and turns to you. “Would you like anything?”
You're still not quite sure what to make of all of this. A refill is not really a thought you're having.
“(y/n) probably wants some of the cake we have at the table by the drinks.” someone else chimes in.
“I can get that myself.” you do want the cake but having your superior serve you is too weird to handle. You start to get up from your chair when he interjects.
“It's okay. I’m happy to. Enjoy your time with your family.” he says smiling then scooting past everyone towards the drink table.
“He’s nice.” “Yeah, I figured defense force officers were kinda meat heads, you know?” “He has real good manners.” “He's sitting so straight.” “I didn't know they made them like that anymore.” your cousins comment.
One of them shoves your shoulder playfully. “He’s super cute!” she gestures to Soshiro speaking with your lively little cousin swinging a stick like a sword. “Why didn't you say you were inviting someone?”
“I didn't.” you continue to watch him making sure nobody is being rude towards him. Who knows how this is going to affect your job if your family does something offensive or stupid.
“He just showed up?”
“Yeah. I mean I have to report where I’m going to be but I didn't invite anyone.”
“He just wanted to show up?” another cousin asks.
You nod. They give knowing looks to each other.
“What?” you ask firmly. Who knows what mischievous things they're communicating with each other telepathically it seems. “Don't say anything stupid in front of him please.”
“Hey, we aren't gonna have you lose your job.”
“Does he do this a lot? Just show up to officers' houses unannounced?” your cousin who asked about inviting him wonders. She has a tone that you can tell is heading this conversation somewhere you don't want it to.
You sigh irritated. “It’s not like that.”
“Why not?” another cousin asks.
Some of them are giggling now. They are enjoying this excruciating line of questions.
“Because.” you say wanting this conversation to end before he comes back.
“Are you not allowed to date superiors?”
“No- I- well, I don't know.” You shake your head frustrated that they're leading you on the exact conversation you're trying to avoid. “It doesn't matter, okay! It’s not going to happen!”
“Do you want it to?” someone further down the table asks. You had no idea the conversation had reached that far down. You can feel your face start to burn and you don't want to give them anymore ammo. It's time to make your escape before they realize your face is a giveaway.
You stand up. “I’m gonna check on him.” you begin to walk away and some of them start to whistle a love song, giggle or whisper little comments. They definitely saw your face turn red.
You get to Soshiro as he was about to head back to the table. He's holding your cake and his drink “You mind if I eat that somewhere else? It's getting stuffy at the table.”
Soshiro smiles, not looking eager to return to his interrogation. “Sure. I’ll follow your lead.”
“Let's go out to the sidewalk.” You both begin to walk towards the gate. You wish you could shrink your head into your body like a turtle. The looks you both are getting as you walk out is enough to make you want to disappear.
You give a long exhale when you're both finally out the gate. You lean against the wall that borders your grandfathers home. The music and noise from the party faded considerably behind the brick. Soshiro hands you your food.
“Thank you for getting this for me.”
“Of course.” he takes a drink from his cup.
“It's been such a whirlwind I didn't ask you why you're here.” you cut a smaller piece of cake to eat.
“You did. Earlier. I just didn't get a chance to respond.”
You stop chewing. “I did?”
A smile grows on his face. “Yes. But I understand. I’m so sorry for showing up like this. I just needed to speak with you about last week.”
“Last week?”
He nods. A pained expression taking over his face. He places his cup down on the sidewalk. “(y/n),-” he faces you with a determined look. His voice is serious. You tense up not sure why he suddenly had to put his cup down for whatever he's about to do. For a moment you think hes going to kick your ass for having such a loud fucking family. He bows. “Please forgive me for my extremely rude behavior.”
Your brain stops. “What?” is all you manage to squeak out.
He rises up. He’s looking down but you can tell from his face that he means this. “Last week. I lashed out at you. It was uncalled for. I immediately regretted it after it happened.”
You think for a second, still trying to catch up to the fact that Soshiro Hoshina just bowed to you. Then you remember. “Oh!”
He gives you a look that says ‘Seriously? I’m trying to apologize and you don't even remember?’
“Sorry, it's just, well, this week has been so busy I kinda forgot about that. I mean until you showed up anyways.” you clear your throat. “I didn't expect you’d apologize for it. Much less show up here to do it.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I shouldnt’ve’ shown up.”
“No! Its fine that you did! It was just shocking.”
He takes a deep breath and exhales. “I wanted to talk to you the next day but then I was told you were on break for a week. And, well, I didn't want to wait any longer. It was…” he trailed off before starting again. “It was botherin’ me too much. You looked real hurt so… I’m sorry.”
A pause between you two follows and the only sounds are the nighttime insects and your family's music and laughter that echoes past the wall. Then it hits you. You're five hours away from Tokyo right now. Your vacation ends the day after tomorrow. He could have waited another day. He could have called. Even a text if he really wanted to apologize that way. But more importantly you never expected he’d apologize to begin with. It hurt and you were scared but you figured that was just part of the territory of being in the defense force. You get your commanding officers ire sometimes.
“... I accept your apology.” You say looking at your half eaten cake suddenly too shy to face him.
He sighs in relief. “Good.”
Another pause.
“You came all this way to apologize?” you ask, looking at him. Searching his eyes.
He looks at your eyes in return and doesn't respond for a moment. “Yeah.” he smiles. “Can I have some of that?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah but I dont have another fork-” He steals your fork and takes a piece of the cake.
He chews and swallows. “It's good.”
You watch him chew. Stunned that he just did that. “Yes.”
“Homemade?”
“Yes.”
“You like it a lot too, huh?”
“Yes.” That's the only response you can say apparently.
He chuckles then his voice drops when he speaks. “I have so much fun with you. I didn't want what happened to affect us.”
You watch him not sure what to think right now so you say the first thing that comes to mind. “I have fun with you too.” You suck your lips into your mouth directly after saying that because never would you have imagined you'd have the bravery to say something like that to him.
He laughs. “What's with that face?”
You pretend not to know what he's talking about, raising an eyebrow still sucking on your lips.
He laughs more and you try to hold your lips in but end up bursting out in a laugh too. It's so good to hear him laugh. It's so contagious. It always makes you smile without fail. You both go on until the laughing subsides on its own. You now remember what happened after the training session.
“Can I ask you if something happened before the session that made you do that? I was afraid I did something to disappoint you.”
His expression visibly shifts to a serious one as you say that. His eye brows furrow slightly like he's mad at you for saying that. “You could never disappoint me.”
You once again are at a loss for words so you give a nod instead.
He joins you leaning on the wall. He silently looks down at his shoes for a moment as if thinking of what to say before facing you. “I don't want to give you excuses.”
You shake your head slowly. “Not an excuse. We were wondering if something had happened. You're not usually like that.”
Soshiro looked hesitant to say anything. He seemed to look everywhere except back at you. He opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “My family isn't like yours ya’ know.”
There had always been whispers about the Hoshina family. Not very good ones. Soshiro also doesn't often volunteer information about himself. But maybe tonight he's making an exception because he feels guilty.
“My brother called me and…” he sighs irritatedly and drags a hand across his face. "I'd rather not bore you with the details.” he says with a breathy half assed laugh. “It’s a nice night with your family. I dont wanna ruin that.”
He's uncomfortable and you can see it. It stings a little bit that he won't tell you.
He picks up on changes in your facial expression as you look away. “Sorry. I know I just spent the whole evening with your family but…” he sighs. “It’s just a lot that you really don't need to worry about.” he’s trying to sound like he's doing you a favor.
You give him a sad smile. You want to know. You want to know everything about him. “I understand.” You understand that he's your boss and there's always going to be an invisible boundary between the two of you because of that. Can't get too close. That's always it isn't it? You both can laugh, joke, he can show up to your family gathering unannounced, charm all of them, get you cake, but no. You can't get too close. “But I want you to know you don't have to keep it to yourself. I mean you tried that and look where you are now.”
He snorts. “Yeah you’re right.” He looks at the top of the wall then the gate. “It's not such a bad place to be though.” A sudden wave of laughter comes from behind the wall. Your family's joy makes you smile.
“Yeah I guess they aren't so bad.” You eat more of your cake. “But it's not always like this, you know.” He looks at you curiously. “I just want you to know families are complicated. But I'm sure you know that.”
He nods knowingly. “Yeah. I get it.” He stretches and takes the fork from your hand, swiping the last piece of cake for himself before you can say anything. He picks up the cup and chugs down his drink. He grimaces “Yeah your uncle for sure put somethin’ in that.” You laugh. “Well I'm gonna head out.” He checks the time on his phone. “I’ll catch the last train to Tokyo if I leave 10 minutes ago.”
You start to panic. “Are you gonna be able to get home?”
He shrugs and starts to walk away. “If anything I’ll stay at the nearest base.” He waves as he walks backwards. “Thank your family for me! They were great! I’ve never heard someone be asked if they were my (girlfriend/ boyfriend/ partner) sa’ many times and be so cool ‘bout it!”
You blush. You become the shade of a ripe strawberry. The inside of a watermelon perhaps. “What!?”
He chuckles. “I’ll see you back at base soon!”
You watch him walk away casting long shadows by lamp posts as he passes them. You ask him in a whisper “Why didn't you just wait until I got back?”
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Hey!
I don't know if you write things like that,but could you maybe write a member x fem reader oneshot/drabble inspired by the song afraid by the neighbourhood? Like make it angstyyyy,jst like the song.Been feeling like this song lately.I know you write incredibly good,and i trust you with thatttt.
Ofc it's totally okay if you don't want to write this <33
I hope you have a great day and never forget to drink water and take care of yourself!❤️❤️
i’m still afraid ( lmh. )
lee minho | fem!reader
“i wake up, i’m afraid somebody else might take my place.”
synopsis. you and minho confront his deep-seated doubts and fears, grappling with the complexities of love and acceptance in your relationship. (857 words)
content. angst, based on the song “afraid” by the neighborhood, established relationship, anxiety, self-worth issues, relationship struggles, communication issues, insecurities, hurt/comfort, ambiguous ending (?)
warnings. physical violence (minho slams his fist into a wall once), emotional distress (self-doubt, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness), verbal conflict (heated arguments and shouting between characters), depression, anxiety and fear
authors notes. long time no chat! sorry for disappearing—i've been on vacation in italy, so writing took a backseat. >_< but i managed to squeeze in this request on the bus. hope you enjoy it, anon! <3 i tried to stick to the song as much as possible, but i did go off track a bit while writing—hope that's okay. T_T love serving up some delicious angst for you guys, haha. enjoy! (ps: thanks for the sweet words, anon. really appreciate it, my love!) <3 <3
The room feels suffocatingly small as you and Minho stand on opposite sides, the silence between you filled with the echoes of your harsh words. It’s another night where his self-doubt and anxiety have spiraled into a fight that neither of you can control.
“Why do you always have to push me away?” you shout, frustration boiling over. “Why can’t you see that I’m here because I love you?!”
Minho’s eyes are wild with emotion, his voice trembling as he retorts, “You don’t get it! You never will! I’m nothing but a burden to you.”
“Stop saying that!” you scream, tears streaming down your face. “You’re not a burden. You’re everything to me, but you keep trying to convince me otherwise.”
He turns away, his shoulders shaking. “Maybe you should listen to me for once. Maybe you’d be better off without me.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you struggle to breathe. “Do you really want me to leave? Is that what you want?”
He slams his fist into the wall, leaving a dent. “No! But I can’t stand the thought of you wasting your time on someone like me.”
You step closer, your voice softer now but no less intense. “Minho, look at me. Please.”
He reluctantly turns, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with despair. “Why can’t you see it? I’m broken. I’m scared all the time that you’ll see what a mess I am and leave.”
You reach out, your hand trembling, and cup his face. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, even when you’re a mess. Especially when you’re a mess.”
He pulls away, his voice breaking. “But why? Why would you stay? Everyone else left when they saw the real me.”
Your heart breaks at his words, the raw pain in his voice cutting deep. “Because I’m not them. I’m not going to leave you just because things get tough. I want to be here for you, Minho. I want to help you.”
He laughs bitterly, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand. “You can’t fix me. No one can.”
“I’m not trying to fix you,” you whisper, stepping closer again. “I just want to love you. Is that so hard to accept?���
He looks at you, his expression a mixture of anger and sorrow. “Yes, it is. Because I don’t feel worthy of your love.”
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. “But you are. You’re worth everything to me.”
He collapses onto the bed, burying his face in his hands. “I wish I could believe that.”
You sit beside him, placing a hand on his back. “We can work through this together. We can find a way.”
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with hopelessness. “What if we can’t? What if I drag you down with me?”
“Then we’ll figure it out,” you say firmly. “But I’m not giving up on you, Minho. Not now, not ever.”
- - -
One night, you find him sitting on the balcony, staring out into the darkness. You join him, the cool night air doing little to soothe the tension between you.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.
He doesn’t look at you, his voice barely above a whisper. “How easy it would be for you to leave.”
You feel a pang of hurt but try to keep your voice calm. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve told you that.”
He finally turns to you, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “But what if one day you wake up and realize I’m not worth it? That all this pain and struggle isn’t worth it?”
You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. “Minho, I won’t lie to you. It’s hard sometimes. But I love you, and that makes it worth it. We’ll get through this.”
He shakes his head, pulling his hand away. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You do,” you insist, your voice breaking. “You deserve to be loved and cared for. You deserve happiness.”
He stands up abruptly, pacing back and forth. “No, I don’t. I’m a mess. I’m scared all the time. I push you away because I can’t stand the thought of you realizing I’m not worth it and leaving.”
You stand up too, blocking his path. “Minho, stop. Just stop. You’re not alone in this. I’m here, and I want to be here. Please, let me help you.”
He looks at you, his eyes filled with anguish. “How? How can you help me when I can’t even help myself?”
“We can get through this together,” you say desperately. “We can find help, talk to someone. We can do whatever it takes, but you have to let me in.”
He collapses back onto the chair, his head in his hands. “I’m so scared,” he whispers.
You kneel beside him, wrapping your arms around him. “I know. But you don’t have to be scared alone. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
It won’t be easy, but with love and patience, you know you can help Minho heal. And maybe, just maybe, one day he’ll believe that he’s worth it too.
© deerlino (est. 130724) ༯ heyo, did you enjoy this piece? if you did, maybe you could reblog, drop a comment, or shoot me an ask to let me know your thoughts. also, feel free to check out my other stuff! thanks a bunch for the support! <3
#lee know x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids angst#skz angst#lee know angst#minho angst#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#lee know x you#stray kids x you#lee know imagines#lee know fanfic#lee know scenarios#*writing
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II. AFROSTROLOGY
hair inspiration for black people who want to try a new hairstyle but feel stuck. including natural hair styles & texture diversity.
all of this is theoretical, please keep that mind before u gone and take the advice of tumblr user hoodreader. ur own chart still has its own personal contexts that cannot be accounted for in a random post online, haha.
while anyone can read & enjoy this post, it is made with black people (and black hair) in mind. for that reason, my explanations will be from a black perspective.
HAIRSTYLE TWO 🌾 DREADS, LOCS, OR DREADLOCKS. the purposeful matting of hair into tendril-like structures. u can start ur dreads in many ways: from braids, twists, freeforms, crochet, & more.
this style ruffles a lot of feathers with the discourse surrounding who started what, and what is cultural appropriation. the thing is hoodreader says #ArgueWitYaMama cuz hoodreader don’t gaf about a viking. i’m black so i’m talking about black people.
anyways… people dread or loc their hair for a lot of reasons. there’s cultural or religious reasons. there’s political reasons, especially with freeforms, to combat respectability politics concerning black hair. there’s just maintenance reasons. and there’s ’cuz people find them cunty! no matter ur reason, they’re a good option for black people looking to have a great cultural style that shows pride, commitment, and resilience.
okay, now that we know what dreadlocks are, i can begin to explain them astrologically. click “Keep Reading” below to keep reading. :]
SATURNIANS. saturn in the first house/aspecting the ascendant or inner planets, capricorn or aquarius placements
WHY? saturn is the planetary ruler over patterns and textures. especially spirals, or things that are bound. dreadlocks — similar to a delicate yarn — are bound to themselves. this is also why i think that it looks best on kinky hair textures. it’s because black hair is naturally (usually) patterned hair.
it’s also particularly aquarius energy to me in the way that aquarius represents liberation and community. most radical people have some form of prominent aquarius energy in their charts because they don’t mind combatting the system. going against the grain is in their nature. the general public / world has a fetishized or low view of dreadlocks. by getting them, someone shows that they are committed to themselves and not to the conventional public opinion.
it shows commitment. and dedication. and it’s a wonderful way to honor ur ancestors.
JOVIALS. jupiter in the first house/aspecting the ascendant or inner planets/saturn, sagittarius or pisces placements, saturn in sag or pisces
WHY? jupiter represents freedom similarly to aquarius energy. the black people i met with dreads are usually free-spirited in some sort of way— they often are queer, spiritualists, sex workers, politically revolutionary, soulful, or just have a bright ‘auras’.
to many black cultures, it’s believed that dreadlocks represent enlightenment or wisdom. our hair tells us a lot of our crown chakra, and the dreads essentially absorb the wisdom u accumulate over ur life.
TAURUS INFLUENCE. inner planets in taurus (especially moon or venus), taurus ascendant, chart ruler in taurus, saturn in taurus
WHY? taurus just gives the earthy vibe, people usually ascribe ‘natural beauty’ to taurus. which is why i feel like a lot of effortlessly & naturally gorgeous earthy black girls with dreads tend to have that fixed / earthy appearance as well.
fixed also makes sense because dreads are ‘fixed’ in the way that they are effectively permanent or at least a meticulous style to take down. usually when people dread their hair it’s treated as a unreversible thing so they in it for the long haul. taurus is a sign that doesn’t like to be finicky or movable. it’s a real commitment.
SCORPIO INFLUENCE. scorpio ascendant/saturn, chart ruler in scorpio, scorpio inner planets
i think it’s somewhat scorpio to have these things bound to each other, so much that dead hair isn’t let go of either. u accumulate so much energy spiritually with dreads, which is why choosing to dread ur hair is a spiritually monumental decision whether u intend it to or not. scorpio rules things that are deeply intertwined with something else.
for both TAUREANS and SATURNIANS, i want to also mention that the dreadlocks are often compared to plants. for example when people use the term “budding.” saturn rules over agriculture and the ground/earth. taurus rules over flowers and things found in nature.
i think the TWELFTH HOUSE is also a house of significance. with venus or saturn here, i think it can possibly produce a native who wears dreadlocks. but i’m unsure why i feel this way. it was an intuitive inkling lol. maybe a black person with dreads and a 12H saturn/venus can explain. maybe it’s something to do with all of the social stigma attached to them.
i’m a 12H saturn and i never dreaded my hair but the appeal to me is reclaiming something that’s so stigmatized against simply because it’s a black thing to do. i love to reclaim things that society tells black people we should be ashamed of. just my input.
a part of me says VIRGO PLACEMENTS as well, although i’m unsure why. i just think earth placements overall give “wears dreads” energy. and i think virgo gives that energy because virgo is mutable earth — it’s movable but constrained at the same time? kinda like dreads. i also think virgos are very spiritual. very connected to the earth.
okay, those are my theories for dreadlock placements. here’s some examples:
Lisa Bonet (scorpio sun, capricorn mars, taurus moon) is known for her natural beauty and her dreadlocks that complements her appearance.
Lauryn Hill (virgo rising, sag moon, venus conjunct saturn) is known for her dreadlocks and her spirituality/politicalness. she’s viewed as a very wise person.
Whoopi Goldberg (scorpio sun, scorpio moon conj scorpio saturn, sag venus, aqua rising) is known for her dreads. i can’t say if she’s known for being exceptionally political or anything.
ALTERNATIVES if ur hesitant, i recommend trying twists just to see if u like them. if u like it, then maybe u can take that as a sign to go ahead and dread them up. but if not, just take them down — no harm no foul. u could also decorate ur dreads or try faux loc styles, but be care when taking them down! i see many a horror story lol
aight now. i hope this was interesting. i don’t have any outro to write. lol i tried to think hard about this. i hope it inspires black people who been thinking about dreading to finally dread their hair. 🧘🏾 with love and power to my people, HoodReader
#hoodreader#🌹 afrostrology 🌹#last pic — pintfairy on ig#first pic — creds n/a#second pic — creds n/a#astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#lauryn hill#whoopi goldberg#lisa bonet#dreads#dreadlocks#earthy black girl#locs#women with locs
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