#dramatic thei

[puthyflapps]

I have an intimate truth to share: I think Sunday would be a very cute name for a shoni baby who lives on a farm with her two moms. Sunday Shalifoe??? They could call her Sunny!! C’mon it writes itself!! And if she looked just like Shelby?? The material is there!! 😭😭😭

[boopbee]

my skrunklies

[chelseacultt]

I Should Hate You

Katie McCabe x Reader

Summary: Katie is tasked with marking you.

Word Count: 1.1k words

You knew that playing Arsenal at the Emirates would be a struggle. The roaring celebratory crowds anytime an Arsenal player started a run. The equally enthusiastic boos every time you and your teammates so much as touched the ball. Nothing out of the ordinary. What you weren’t expecting, though, was your current position. 

“Sorry, darlin’,” says Arsenal’s Irish superstar as she untangles her body from yours. She stands and reaches both of her hands out for you, a small smile on her face. You might’ve appreciated the gesture if she hadn’t been on the offensive end of all the fouls you’ve encountered during the last 60 minutes. But she has been, so you don’t. Instead, you brush her off and pull yourself up before returning to your original position. 

“That’s, like, the 10th time she’s fouled me. I swear she has a personal vendetta against me or something,” you gesture around aimlessly as you take your place next to your best friend. 

“What has she done now?” Lauren James asks with a quiet laugh as she kneels down to retie her boots. 

“Aside from embarrassing me repeatedly for the past hour, she just tripped me. On purpose, probably.” You reach a hand down and help LJ up once she finishes tying her laces.

LJ lets out a laugh at your reply. “Right, well, that’s called ‘marking.’ Perhaps you’ve heard of it?” LJ squeezes your shoulder with a smirk before the referee blows her whistle, signaling for play to start back up. You share a laugh before attempting to clear your mind and get back into the game. Your attempt starts fruitfully, and you forget all thoughts of your complications with the Irish woman. 

You begin running up the wing as your teammates initiate an attack. “Heads up!” Erin yells as she sends the ball soaring toward you from the 18-yard box. Before you can even think about your next move, a sharp pain shoots through your ankle and shoulder, and you find yourself on the ground once again. Your teammates shout, and the crowd erupts in deafening boos as the referee shows your assailant a yellow and then points to the spot. 

“Oh, bullshit! I hardly touched her!” exclaims a voice you’ve grown all too accustomed to hearing today. 

“Want to explain why I’m on the ground then?” Nathalie helps you up as you glare at Katie. “I’m okay,” you assure Nathalie quickly, brushing off her questioning of your fitness and turning back toward the Ireland captain. 

“I don’t know, but I think VAR’s about to find out,” Katie states with a smirk (that you wish you could smack off her face) as she raises her eyebrows and gestures behind you before crossing her arms. You turn to see the referee walking to the penalty check screen. An intense suspense fills the stadium as everyone awaits the referee’s final decision. 

“Has to go our way. She completely clipped you. Studs up and everything,” speaks your captain, Millie Bright. She joins the swarm of fellow Chelsea players that has now formed around you, the Arsenal players having disbursed. 

After a thorough review of the penalty decision, the referee swiftly returns to the pitch. With a firm expression, she announces her reversal of the call, awarding the decision in favor of Arsenal. 

“Come on! That is shit!” Guro shouts as the referee cancels the previously awarded penalty. The thunderous cheers of the Arsenal fans drown out her shouts. The dramatics of the Norwegian winger do nothing to ease your spirits like they usually would. The game ends shortly after, ending in a 3-1 Arsenal win. 

You deflate, refraining from diplomatically shaking hands with the Arsenal players after the game. You’re standing off to the side watching a bantering Sam Kerr and Caitlin Foord when you sense a presence walking up behind you, followed by the feeling of two hands on your waist. “Think ya better fire your diving instructor,” the voice whispers in your ear before the accompanying hands pull you toward their chest. 

You pull away from the person completely and turn around to face the Irish woman who has recently been the absolute vain of your existence. “I know that you know that call was fucked,” you say sternly.

Katie mock gasps, raises her eyebrows, and drops her jaw. “You want us to what?” she jokes and feigns disbelief.

“Stop,” you reply with a roll of your eyes. She steps closer to you at this reply.

She laughs, “Ah, that’s not a word I hear too often. The eye roll is a different story.” You’re unsure if the innuendos were intentional. The way she’s not even trying to hide biting her lip answers this question for you, though. She smirks again at your lack of response, and you only kind of want to smack it off her face this time. You feel your face heat up as she keeps her eyes trained on yours. You nervously look away and busy yourself watching Niamh’s post-match interview, hoping that Katie will just walk away.

You keep your eyes on Niamh as you feel Katie step close to you again, despite something urging you to turn your head toward the other girl. Katie keeps her hands to herself as she leans close to whisper in your ear this time; her lips brush against your ear as she murmurs, “The more you try to ignore me, the more I want to be right here.” Your breath catches as her words linger in your ear. 

Katie pulls away after a tension-filled minute, her expression combining smug delight and amusement. She clearly enjoys the reaction she just pulled out of you. She steals a quick glance at your lips before looking back up at your eyes and holding out one of her hands. Your mind is still whirling from the earlier feeling of having her body so close to yours. You just stare at her outstretched hand. 

“See something you like?” she asks as she wiggles her fingers and turns her hand around and back. Your eyes jump back up to hers. “Yeah. Your yellow card earlier,” you choke out.

“Katie!” someone yells from behind you before Katie can reply. Probably one of her teammates. You can’t be bothered to check. Katie nods at the person before turning back to you. Her hand still outstretched, she reaches for one of yours and shakes it with no help from you.

“Until next time, love, yeah?” With an ever-present smirk, she finally removes her hand from yours and starts to walk away. “Unless ya don’t feel like waiting that long. Up to you,” she winks and joins her teammate (whose identity you’re still unsure of).

You’re pretty sure she just put the ball in your court.

a/n: first fic 👀 hopefully it's not terrible. I have mixed feelings about my first post being for an arsenal player but!!! advice is appreciated. thank you alright bye

[liveontelevision]

Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.

18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst

•••

Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.

With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.

When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.

Love Interests:

But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.

Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.

With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.

After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.

So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.

He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.

Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.

Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.

You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;

"what if i fucked up?"

"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"

"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"

"what if i scare them away?"

"what if that fucks this up?"

"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"

After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.

Physical Contact:

It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.

He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.

He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.

You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.

He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)

Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.

So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.

You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.

Intimacy:

After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.

It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?

It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.

He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.

He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.

"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.

He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.

He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.

His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.

He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.

You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.

You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.

He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.

Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.

The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.

He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.

He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.

After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.

After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Staring into the void thinking about my unloved little guy favorites and feeling the thoughts mix with my adoration for stupid niche crossovers. I want a svsss x Naruto crossover but instead of anyone especially notable from svsss who crosses over it's my favorite "really not as bad as he could be" award winner, Ming Fan

Squinting back at naruto and flipping a coin to decide if he lands in warring states era or modern konoha and deciding I like both of these options, so we're going to do 2 separate stories/timelines. Or maybe we'll have him land in the past then get flashed forward to future Konoha when he tries going home so he gets the best of both worlds, who knows— I'll decide when I get there.

With that said, buckle in baby because it's time for:

✨️ Ming Fans very unfortunate fall into the mess that is naruto canon ✨️

Ming Fan gets flung into another dimension due the ultimate possible sin in svsss: being a background character.

Some obligatory crazy adventure was happening to Luo Binghe and SQQ involving some magic artifact, and in your stereotypical "someone not too important to the plot touches the object and gets exploded, proving it's dangerous to touch + upsetting SQQ so LB can appropriately comfort him" (probably originally a wife plot) scene, Ming Fan gets zapped into naruto canon. Woops!

If it helps him feel any better, SQQ really is upset by this. Binghe is not. At all. He might think it's karma but also this guy doesn't know the first fucking thing about appropriate levels of karma so maybe he should keep his mouth shut.

(Neither of these facts make him feel better but do you know what does? Imagining SQQ yelling at Binghe for this. He's so fucking sure it's that guy's fault somehow. It's always his fault somehow.)

So boom, he gets zapped into the worst possible (and my personal favorite moment for inconvenient time travel) moments; The final battle between the Uchiha and the Senju.

Specifically, he gets zapped directly onto Tobirama's sword. Queue shocked Pikachu faces from everyone— including Ming Fan but with added dramatic blood and cursing in chinese. Bc hey!! They don't speak the same fucking language actually!!

Unfortunate.

So Tbrm and Izuna both jump back away from this unknown as Ming Fan continues to bleed and curse and be very fucking confused as to where he was.

He took the hit in the shoulder of his non dominant arm, it's a pretty clean cut and he's a cultivator so he'll be fine with some rest but MAN if it don't hurt like a bitch. On top of the motion sickness of being launched through time and space too, and wrapped up in a little bow of "surrounded by hostile looking strangers all yelling in a language I don't understand"

Yeah he's not having the greatest time right now.

So like, Ming Fan just sort of appeared out of nowhere, right? Which has Tobirama extra fucked up bc, yk, hiraishin.

Izuna doesn't know that he was just saved from death death, so he's appropriately grateful at avoiding being stabbed but also like. Who the fuck are you. How did you get here. You just interrupted my battle with my rival and I take a little offense to that actually.

Everyone is yelling and confused and Ming Fan is seriously debating hopping on his sword and flying off because fuck this.

Madara and Hashirama finally enter stage left and are both like "well he's not one of ours" so now everyone is eyeing him even more suspiciously and a couple people are for sure lowkey tensing to attack

Enter convenient svsss mcguffin! Because "idk it sounds like something SQQ would know how to do," Ming Fan knows some language technique that allows him to speak/understand a language for a certain amount of time.

So he grabs his sword and circulates his qi to prepare the technique, and everyone tenses up because hey what are you doing over there buddy

Tobirama, a really good sensor, can actually sense the differences between Ming Fan's qi circulating through his dantian vs how shinobi would circulate chakra through their chakra coils. So he's holding a hand up like 'wait let him cook' @ the Senju who tensed up for a possible attack, if only because he wants to see where this goes and is confident that if he tried anything fr, well, he's kind of surrounded on all sides rn by two entirely different factions

The Uchiha meanwhile don't want to be the first to strike, so everyone's just kinda cautiously gripping their weapons in this very odd battlefield stall

And boom: now he can speak their language.

I'd say the first thing he does is grab Tobirama and shake him while cussing him out about watching where he's swinging that sword of is but he's smarter than that. (For sure it's what he wants to do tho. He is picturing it. Oh man is he picturing it.)

So like, actual communication for now

Now. PIDW is fucking filled with all sorts of mcguffins, "I touched something I shouldnt have and when I opened my eyes I was somewhere strange" is alarmingly common, and the sect absoloutley has some sort of "teleportation checklist" to run through whenever your random, unfortunate disciple gets fucking zapped.

(I like to hc that Shang Quinghua had some sort of hand in making an "official" checklist taught across the peaks, and that different peaks treat this checklist with uhh,, different amounts of respect. (LQG thinks its useless but has simultaneously run the tally for peak lord whose gotten stranded by artifacts he shouldn't have touched the most. These two facts may be directly correlated.))

Anyways; Ming Fan gets to doing that checklist. He's demanding to know where he is, when he doesn't recognize the name, how close he is to the sea, what year and time of the year it is, where the nearest sect is, etc.

At first this is directed at Izuna and Tobirama both, but when Izuna fails to answer as directly as Tobirama does (with quick, flat answers) and also tries to return the questions ("who are you, how did you get here, etc.") he directs his attention soley to Tobirama. Even though hes a little BITCH and stabbed him

(Ming Fan can recognize he teleported directly onto his blade but this will not change him being butt hurt ab it)

For everyone watching, this is weird as all hell! Who is this guy? Why these questions? Ew why is he deferring to the Senju, our Izuna-sama would be so much better to ask—

Now, quick side note, the thing about Ming Fan is he's just like a dude. He's just a guy. But also he's really not, but also he really is? If that makes sense?

He's the senior most disciple and (correct me if I'm wrong here bc its been a while) SQQ's head disciple, which means he'll be the next peak lord in however many years when SQQ and his generation chooses to ascend. So he's definatley not a slacker when it comes to power or wit. Even if he does rank pretty low in the overall SVSSS canon, but also like, yeah, background character vs actual heavenly demons n shit.

So he's definitely a pretty impressive guy!! But also he's just a guy. And he's in contact with the power houses and freaks that is SVSSS main cast (*cough* Luo Bingghe *cough*) So his sense of self and where be ranks power wise is probably skewed to a degree. (Though I imagine that when left to his own devices and not having to defer to his shizun, he definitely suffers from "haughty bitch disease" (tragically not fatal, for now at least)

Thus; cultivator version of just a dude. I love him!!

(arguably the only better option for the "svsss just a dude award" would be Gongyi Xiao, who I also love dearly but he's not here right now, so, winner by default Ming Fan!!! (Story of his fucking life tbh))

Anyways, back to plot:

So, thinking that Ming Fan immediatley recognizes Tobirama's hiraishin design bc it was actually enscribed on whatever artifect got him sent here. Wwoahhh mystery or something idk but theres that

(Was Airplane thinking about naruto when he created this specific object? Did he maybe google "sealing design ideas" then copy paste the hiraishin directly into his work, knowing no one but him would know what he had done since there was no artwork to go with it? Maybe. Perhaps. Just possibly.)

I honestly dont really know where itd go from that, but like Ming Fan probably sticks around specifically to harass Tobirama in the hopes he can send him home.

He points at the Hiraishin and goes "Your talisman brought me here. Take responsibility."

Tobirama understands this as his activation of the Hiraishin in battle literally summoned Ming Fan (only half true) and the poor mans presence here is thus entirely his fault. (Ehhhhh not really)

Ming Fan will not correct this assumption.

Either way though, Tobirama would not give up the chance / excuse to interact with and help return an interdimensional traveler. Can you say science experiment?? Because Tobirama sure fucking can!

Tobirama ends up having a fucking field day trying to find ways to replicate Ming Fan's different techniques with chakra instead of qi, and just in general studying how the energy in their bodies flows and works so differently yet so similarly

Anyways !

Through convoluted reasons peace happens somehow

Ming Fan calls Izuna a dumb bitch to his face maybe, idk that sounds like smthn hed do. But also like more politely bc they have different ways of speaking and SQQ probably gets on his ass about 'if you're going to insult someone do it in a way that reflects well on your own and the peaks teachings'

Actually I love that and now I need Ming Fan and Izuna cat fights

Actually I need Ming Fan and everyone cat fights, Izuna just gets the worse of it bc in my heart he is diva coded in a similar way to Ming Fan

Tobirama also bites back but hes too interested in the opportunity to study Ming Fan to risk being proper rude like he usually would to like, pretty much anyone else.

"Did this guy call me and my entire clan useless warmongers with the collective IQ of a tree stump? Yes. Do I want to cut him open to see if his organs match my own? Also yes. And my chances of getting to do this are very slightly raised by at minimum not pointing out that he has the attitude of if chihuahua got fucked by the worlds angriest hairless cat and spat out a human shaped baby."

Madara is NOT safe from the Ming Fan bitchfest but hes too busy happily drinking with Hashirama at the prospect of peace to give him his full attention, so he lets Izuna handle the cat fights

Hashirama meanwhile thinks hes kind of a tool but is also too busy happily drinking with Madara to really care, and is also the sort of guy to think that bitchy people are funny (as long as he isnt the one who has to deal with the consequences they bring) so honestly? Hes also having fun watching him and Izuna fight

Ummm stuff happens, peace is achieved, Konoha is developed and Ming Fan is in the thick of it bc he still needs Tobirama to send him home. He's kind of just,, there. Hanging out. Doesnt really have anything to do here, isnt particularly invested in this city building shit. As head disciple he has experience with things like management and the like, but nothing on this scale. He is however familiar with the concept of government-esq bodies overseeing superpowered people in societies equivalent to something close to a village. So that might come in handy, idk

But yeah, Ming Fan is just kind of hanging around, maybe he's brought in as a fresh pair of eyes / consultant

When it comes time to elect a Hokage, it's Madara vs Hashirama, with both of their younger brothers obviously backing their elder brothers.

Ming Fan, who has taken many, many missions across many different villages, countries, kingdoms and more, has seen this fucking story go down a million different ways. Better yet, he's seen this story go down a million different ways, often with SQQ hanging over his shoulder providing live commentary and a fucking insiders POV on the mechanics of this

The thing about Madara is that he is clearly respected by his clan, and feared by others. But he's not really,,, approachable.

Meanwhile Hashirama is the same, but he is approachable

And Izuna? Well, he has a real charm to him that his brother lacks. A charm that could realistically stand pretty well against Hashirama's own charm. He's popular, genuinley, among his own clan and surprisingly among some Senju as well. Whereas Madara was 'the force to be reckoned with' Izuna occupied a sort of middling space, always standing against Tobirama. Plus, hes easy on the eyes and can rock a pretty effective 'open and friendly smile.'

Not to mention he was the Uchiha's spy master, probably would go on to be Konoha's in the future, so he's a pro at managing people

Between Madara and Izuna, if you want an Uchiha to run for Hokage and win... wasn't Izuna clearly the better option?

Ming Fan brings this up to Izuna one day and he's actually kind of blindsided by this. The idea straight up never occurred to him, too used to being in the position to back his brother and raise him up to ever consider wanting the position Madara desired for himself.

He considers it for all of 3 seconds, a noticeable hesitation, before he laughs and shakes his head, saying that he would never steal his big brothers dreams like that. If he has the skills to win the Hokage position, he'd just use them to make sure Madara does instead

(Madara, overhearing their conversation from the hallway, retreats silently to think.)

A week later, and right before the intentions of Madara and Hashirama are announced to officially begin running for Hokage are announced, and a switch is made. A strangely quiet Madara switches out with Izuna at the last minute, a surprise to literally everyone but Ming Fan, who huffs approvingly

(This... has been his dream for so long. The village, his clan, safe and at peace. To be able to lead that would be... everything. But if his own baby brother would be more likely to be choosen for that over himself... At the very least, Madara wants to see an Uchiha with the hat.)

It's worth mentioning also that at this point, Ming Fan has a decent amount of influence on his own. Like, obviously, he's hanging out with the clan heads and heirs, he isnt contributing too much to the village, but he is contributing. He's pulling his weight, and he often spends time just kinda wandering around, talking to people, learning about this different world and the things it has to offer— different food, clothing styles, stories, the culture, just all of it

And that on its own is enough to endear him to plenty of people. Plus, as Konoha grows and more clans join in, he remains at its center sort of by default of having landed in that position from the start.

I think he's especially popular with more common people, bc he'll often be wandering around, just kinda exploring and all that, and if you complain to him theres a chance he might take that complaint all the way to the top, and your complaint (if its serious enough) might actually be dealt with. And as Konoha grows and more and more people clutter the information train, that's really fucking valuable!

All of that is to say that when Ming Fan makes a mostly careless comment in public about thinking Izuna would make a better Hokage, well, it's an endorsement from a well respected person. Who knows if it truly impacts the outcome, and god knows Ming Fan isn't like, actively campaigning for either of them—he probably doesn't care too much on who wins, finds them both agreeable enough as leaders (they both annoy him in different ways but at least with Izuna he's clearly grown begrudgingly fond of the back and forth they have)

So! It's an incredibly close race, but in the end Izuna wins, becoming the first Hokage

(His dramatic ass is absolutely on board with Hashirama's idea for a carved face in the mountainside, even as Tobirama, Madara and Ming Fan both physically cringe at the idea)

Ming Fan ends up being stuck there for a couple year, which is... annoying, but he's an immortal cultivator and has had much longer missions, so overall he's mild about his displeasure. Clear progress is being made by Tobirama, who is open about each new discovery he makes between Ming Fan and a normal mortal of this world

("To discover what made the hiraishin bring you here from another world entirely, we must first map out exactly what makes you and me so biologically different that the seal would react so strongly")

Anyways, Tobirama finally figures out how to fuck with the hiraishin enough to send Ming Fan back !! Yay, the day is saved and everyone is different levels of sorry to see him go, ranging from mildly fond to 'oh thank fucking gone, LEAVEEE ALREADYYYY' from the many, many people he's probably annoyed while here

Izuna and Ming Fan say goodbye and "Ill almost miss fighting with your bitch ass" in the weird language of insults they've developed, which to others just sounds like "dont go missing me too much, even tho youll never find someone else on my level to talk with again 💅"

Izuna gets one last jab in as Ming Fan is teleporting away but literally right as he's dissapearing Ming Fan gets one back in, making him officially holder of 'Got The Last Word' and this will piss off Izuna for the rest of all time

And so Ming Fan is safely returned hom— OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHERE IS HE NOW?? GODDAMIT TOBIRAMA

Yeah, so, Ming Fan is instead zapped some decades into the future, into Kakashi's genin days

I mean, congrats to Tobirama, he just invented time travel, so, thats cool

Ming Fan doesnt actually give a shit though because this is not what he was promised, Tobirama you useless hack—!

He was sent back from the battlefield where he appeared, something about eliminating the chances of the specific location being involved in the act of breaking through universes, and reappeared in that same place.

He pretty quickly makes his way over to Konoha via flying sword, easily dodging the many patrols in the area who are at pretty much full swing due to the fact that we're nearing the start of the second shinobi war.

(Sakumo has not yet been assigned that doomed mission of his but will be any day now)

Ok so. POV you're one of the guys guarding the gates of Konoha.

And out of seemingly nowhere this fucking GUY. Just. DESCENDS FROM THE SKY FROM THE BACK OF A SWORD. Immediately starts angrily yelling at you about demanding to know where Senju Tobirama, the fucking nidaime who died years ago, currently is. And that he needs to get his bitchy little quack doctor ass out here RIGHT FUCKING NOW and do what he GODDAMN PROMISED

As Im sure you can imagine, the gate guards. Do not react too well to this.

I think Ming Fan received a konoha headband, and he usually doesnt wear it unless he's like, going into battle and needs to be able to be identified by his allies. And he wasnt wearing it when he was ready to hop on home, so he takes it out now and kinda shoves it in their face like THERE LOOK IM ONE OF YOU NOW WHERE IS TOBIRAMA.

They might have tried to arrest him but he was rocking with that "do you know who I fucking am, let me speak to your manager RIGHT NOW. Who is your hokage is Izuna still in charge I will ask him to light your ass on fucking fire if you dont bring me to him 5 goddamn minutes ago" swag and, like, he was just so confident about it the gate guards didnt?? really know what to do?? HE SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT GUYS AND THATS SCARY

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOULL ASK THE SHODAI HOKAGE TO (WHAT, RISE FROM HIS GRAVE?) TO GIVE US A SHAKING

(He wouldnt lmao, Izuna would probably have given them a gift basket for inconveniencing Ming Fan tbh. This fact however will never and has never stopped Ming Fan from using his name as a blunt force weapon against those who dont know better.)

So.

Ming Fan is brought to the Hokage.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE AS WE NOW INTRODUCE KONOHA'S SANDAIME HOKAGE IN THIS TIMELINE MING FAN HAS NOW LIGHTLY FUCKED UP,,,

KAGAMI UCHIHA !!!

Yeah so with Izuna as the first Hokage, the hat then went to Tobirama, who then passed it down to Kagami, who is currently looking at Sakumo as his possible successor

So, a very peeved Ming Fan is escorted to the Hokage's office. On his way over, he's taking note of the buildings and the clear passage of time. He looks at the mountain and finds 2 new faces besides Izuna's own annoying one, and catches wind of exactly what happened pretty fast.

Hopefully Tobirama isn't dead yet though, because oh man does Ming Fan have some words for him

(Ming Fan is annoyed to find his favorite little shop from before has been replaced by some stupid fuckin ramen restaurant. Ugh.)

Ming Fan finally arrives, and Kagami, who actually interacted with him more than a few times back in the day, does a fucking comedy spit take and blurts out, "Fan-dono?????"

Ming Fan does not recognize him at first and when he finally does, it's him going oh you're that hanger on brat who was always begging Tobirama to teach you.

Not. The most flattering take. But Kagami will take it.

So Kagami is like, Hokage now. But also he has memories of Ming Fan as both Tobirama's friend and also Izuna's friend and also just like. "Respected guy my mom told me to be good around."

So theres all sorts of things happening in his head rn on how to react to this situation

Ming Fan meanwhile has never interacted with a Hokage he wasnt allowed to call stupid to their face (to be fair Izuna would immediatley call him stupid back) so he is not giving Kagami the respect expected of like. Literally any ordanary shinobi to give him.

But he lucks out and gets a pass on it bc Kagami still has him slotted into the "sensei and Izuna-sama's respected friend" part of his brain that makes him feel like a kid again

(behind him, the ANBU squad does not like or agree with this turn of events. at all. who the FUCK are you to talk to the Hokage like this what the FUCK)

I think Danzo fucking despises Ming Fan, just because its funny. Ming Fan called him a nosey little brat one too many times as a kid and Danzo developed a childish grudge that he totally forgot about later in life— till he runs into Ming Fan again, years later, looking annoyingly exactly the same, and reawakens the rage of a slighted 12 year old

Sarutobi I dunno, I think hes somewhere between Kagami and Danzo on "this guy hits the buttons in my brain that make me feel like Im a kid being scolded by my sensei again" and also "holy shit FUCK this guy"

Anyways! Heres the thing:

When he left, Ming Fan absoloutley took some of Tobirama's research with him. It was probably some sort of exchange thing— way back when Ming Fan agreed to be a little science experiment in the first place, he probably made a deal of "yeah ok fine but I want every crumb of research you pull from me and I wanna take it home when I go"

Tobirama kinda shrugged and went "yeah fair enough, but were gonna have to agree on what kind of person is allowed to see some of it"

Shook on it, the end

So Ming Fan has this big ass thing of notes up his sleeve— filled with stuff about the differences between a shinobi and a cultivators bodies, some different fun notes Tobirama took while adapting some of Ming Fan's techniques to be used by chakra and vice versa w Ming Fan trying to use Tobirama's techniques with qi, notes on editing the hiraishin to try and get him home, etc.

Theres also probably just some other random stuff— mostly medical and jutsu / sealing guides, which Ming Fan traded information to bring home thinking the sect would benefit from it. If nothing else, his shizun will get a kick out of it

(oh boy would SQQ get a fucking kick out of seeing goddamn naruto lore written out in detail and refffered to as texts from another dimension)

^ so all of that is to say that Ming Fan has the traces of the seal to try to bring him back home, but he cant fucking use it himself bc he doesnt know how to preform the hiraishin, which is a major component of it

(and also part of why Tobirama let him take it to begin with, unconcerned of Ming Fan or someone else ever using it to come back bc they've already established his different biology somehow makes him physically unable of using the hiraishin)

So he just needs to find Tobirama again, or minimum someone who can use the hiraishin, and he can at least just try again. Maybe the last time sending him forward was a fluke? It probably only needs some minor tweaks, right? So just— get him Tobirama, and they'll sort it out

Learning Tobirama is dead, Ming Fan is,,, well, he was already prepared to say goodbye when he left the first time. And looking at the statues, Tobirama clearly lived an accomplished life. Same with Izuna— Ming Fan kind of resolves to just not think about it.

When he asks about Madara, Ming Fan is informed that a year after he left, Madara apparently turned traior and attacked the village. This is. A lot. For him to swallow.

Ming Fan has a moment of blaming himself for not having seen the darkness festering inside Madara, but brushes the feeling away. There was nothing he could have done, and he has been down the road of blaming himself for not catching a tell that hinted towards secret evil intentions one too many times during his missions to do it again here.

(Still, a complicated feeling rises in him. He'd spent years, at that point, by the founders side. To hear Madara had gone and tried to kill them all— If nothing else, Ming Fan had truly thought Madara loved his brother.)

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO IS SOMEHOW ALIVE? FUCKING HASHIRAMA AND MITO !!!

Hashirama, having never become Hokage, was never poisoned! Instead he retired, now too old to fight even if he wanted to, and lives in the Senju compound with his aging wife and big family (including his granddaughter, Tsunade)

In the last few years, it's seems like he's become sick, only a few people allowed to visit him, and almost only senju. Very sad, he's expected to die any day now

SO !

Ming Fan hops over to the Senju compound, and though literally everybody expected he wouldn't be allowed to see him, Hashirama permits him to enter his rooms

(The list of those who can see Hashirama is as follows:

His wife

His children and grandchildren

The Hokage

and on one very memorable occasion, the current Uchiha clan head, Uchiha Hikaku)

Ming Fan being added to that list,, well, he may not realize it's weight, but its safe to say that once the fact gets out, it's enough to pretty instantly cement him as trustworthy to most of Konoha. Especially those in higher circles

So, Ming Fan goes to Hashirama's side, and Mito greets him. She explains that the Mokuton is as much as a curse as it is a blessing, and opens the door for Ming Fan to see exactly what she means.

For the past few years, Hashirama has been stuck in the process of turning into a tree.

There... isn't much more to say about that.

They had prepared a room for him to spread his roots in, open aired and protected by enough seals to blind a man if they attempted to look in. With grassy floors covered in wildflowers, and a small stream that Mito says they decorated with rocks from the Naka river.

Hashirama sits at the center of it all, more tree than man, asleep most days but having miraculously awoken just in time for Ming Fan's arrival.

Hashirama jokes that it must be fate, and Ming Fan, sobered in this moment, nods and says that his Shizun has often said that everyone is bound by the strings of fate. Whether they obeyed the strings was up to them, but so long as they walked, the strings would continue to guide them to the places they needed to be.

Hashirama laughs, and tells him that he half expected to be cursed out once he'd heard that Ming Fan had been stranded here by his brothers seal.

"Is that really how you wish for this reunion to go?" Ming Fan asks, and Hashirama only laughs again.

"I'd rather hear you curse my name than sit and suffer through you playing polite because you're too offput by this old mans condition to say what you're thinking."

Ming Fan sighs, laying on the grass and staring up at Hashirama's leaves and halfheartedly curses at Tobirama's name, lamenting his situation as Hashirama listens with a smile.

"You don't seem as distressed as I'd expected!" Hashirama notes, and Ming Fan only shrugs. "I'll figure it out, I'm sure."

"How uncharacteristically optimistic of you!"

"I suppose that's just you rubbing off on me then."

Hashirama and Ming Fan talk for quite a while, and it reminds Ming Fan of older nights, when Konoha was still young, before even the Hokage was elected. Nights occasionally spent drinking together, sometimes alone, sometimes with others— Tobirama, Izuna, Madara, Touka, Hikaku, an array of clan heads and heirs, people who've come to make a home, find some peace, and in that moment only share a drink.

To Ming Fan, it had only been a couple of years since those early days.

To Hahirama, it had been decades.

Ming Fan is invited to stay at the Senju compound for as long as he needs to find a way home.

When he stands, he turns to Hashirama, and offers a bow. Lower than any he's offered before, in this world.

"Thank you for your generosity."

Hashirama smiles, and accepts the gratitude for all that it means.

That night, Senju Hashirama falls asleep, and never wakes again.

SOOO ANYWAYS !!

Ming Fan is now staying with the Senju!! In this verse the family is a bit bigger than canon, due to Hashirama's continued survival throughout the years and how that impacted general Konoha politics. This is also before Tsunade left the village, with her little brother Nawaki still alive and Orochimaru's student (though much like Sakumo, their tragic fates are destined to happen any day now)

Through Ming Fan interference, both of these characters eventually avoid these fates, dont ask me how tho but just know that it happens, so.

Ming Fan has 2 goals!

Find someone who can preform the hiraishin!

Find someone who can alter the seals Tobirama used last in an attempt to get him home!

Luckily for Ming Fan, Mito knows just how to help in both of these cases! She can cover number 2, as Konoha's leading (and oldest) seal expert, and her darling grand-niece, Kushina, just so happens to be dating the only guy in the world who knows how to use the hiraishin, isn't that convenient?

With Mito agreeing to help alter the seal and someone to actually use it set in place, Ming Fan has nothing left to really do other than just,, wait.

The good news is that, since he brought Tobirama's research with him and the alterations shouldn't take nearly as much time as last time, it should only be a few months!

This is where we get Ming Fan once again fucking around the village, and how inevitable interferes with Nawaki and Sakumo's deaths

Maybe he's bored and goes with Nawaki on his mission? He's definitely interacting with him, they both live in the senju compound after all!

Nawaki idolizes his grandfather Hashirama, and Ming Fan is apparently a good friend of his!! So hes totally harassing Ming Fan to know more about that!

I think the "time travel" bit is kept secret from the public, just bc like, messyyyy, and Ming Fan's own involvment in early Konoha is pretty unknown in general just bc he was overshadowed by more relevant historical figures— plus its not like he had a clan to continue to remember him.

So very few people even know he existed, let alone that he's that same guy from history

Ummm Ming Fan and Sakumo friendship, I like to hc skaumo as being friends with the sanin so maybe hes around the Senju compound sometimes, idk

A panicked Sakumo is called in for a super last minute mission and tushes over to beg Tsunade to babysit only to realize shes also out, then somehow ropes Ming Fan into watching over Kakashi

Ming Fan ends up lightly making fun of Kakashi's use of chakra (his own pov of how to use chakra being heavily skewed due to experiments with Tobirama) and ends up being roped further into helping to train Kakashi using techniques, tips and tricks told to him by Tobirama

Ming Fan does NOT want to teach Kakashi, Kakashi is very much harassing him into doing it and Ming Fan is less teaching and more 'throwing techniques at him in the hopes hell go away only to find that Kakashi has figured out how to do it correctly on his own and wow thats really alarming actually'

I think Ming Fan would like Kakashi and also be a terrible fucking influence on him bc he is absolutely encouraging him to be as mean and bratty as possible (with other people)

Ming Fan is the kind of guy to teach his students to be evil under the table so they can get away with it, like, "ok so I heard you tried to sabotage someone. And Im really disappointed actually bc you chose such an obvious way and if you're going to sabotage someone at least dont do it in a way that will tie back to you, like, really" kind of energy

Minato receives Kakashi as a student around this time and has to beg Ming Fan to stop bc the things hes teaching Kakashi keep clashing with shit he's trying to teach him and also "did you really tell Kakashi to try and beat up Obito behind the ramen shop to establish dominance because he almost did and I can not express how bad this is for team moral"

Minato is STRESSED but unfortunately this is not Ming Fan's problem. Sorry. Do better.

Without Izuna around to shoot the shit with Ming Fan actually finds himself incredibly bored. He got used to having someone he can be catty around, now hes like. All bored. And maybe a little lonely.

LONELY? WHO SAID THAT? HES NOT LONELY WHAT THE FUCK SHUT UP !! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT !!!!

He goes to the stupid ramen place that replaced his old favorite shop and discovers he does not like ramen.

This does not improve his mood.

He's fucking bored is the thing, which is why he decides to take missions. And how he ends up with surprisingly high clearance (due to being technically a founder)

And how he ends up on the same team as Sakumo for a very specific mission.

And how, when the mission goes wrong, he sends Sakumo home saying that he'll rescue their mission partners bc at least he's not stupidly recognizable the way Sakumo is.

And how Sakumo never falls from grace

And how just a week later, Sakumo is announced as Kagami's pick for the 4th Hokage.

Sakumo is very grateful towards Ming Fan for the mission thing, considers him to be a good man. He is a little bit blind to the awful fucking influence Ming Fan is on Kakashi, much to Minato's despair.

ANYWHOOO

some months pass and the seal is now complete! Minato is brought in and let in on the secret, and agrees to help!

(getting rid of ming fan? holy shit sign him up!!)

Ming Fan says his goodbies, Nawaki and Kakashi are especially sad to see him go while the adults are all different flavors ranging from "understanding but fondly sad to YES GO GO GET OUT GET OUT LEAVE ALREADY GO PLEASE THANK YOU GOODBYE"

Mito is in general amused at all the shit Ming Fan has managed to start while here, she's a fan of watching him fuck around from afar, eating popcorn

So.

Third times the charm, right? Right???

As Ming Fan immediately realizes, no, no it is not the charm.

Ming Fan reappears on the fucking eve of Konoha's destruction by Pain's hand.

Now. As already stated: I love Ming Fan "just a guy but not really" so much! I think he is decently powerful on his own, just overshadowed by the general cast of SVSSS, and I also think that these past few years hes spent here in naruto, sparring with people like the founders, participating in experiments with Tobirama to see how far qi can be pushed in contrast with chakra, learning new techniques and adapting to the different levels of ambient chakra and qi in this world— well, he's not ready to split skies or anything like that but its safe to say that Ming fan was, and now is even more pretty fucking strong.

All of that is to say Ming Fan may be more attached to Konoha than he realized bc when he sees it being destroyed it isn't just the anger of a righteous cultivator seeing innocents be attacked that's lit inside him, nah Ming Fan is about to throw the fuck down

(It takes him not even a second to affix the konoha headband to his belt before he jumps into the fray)

So! Lets take a peek at the Hokage time line in Ming Fan's absence!

Kannabi bridge went unfortunately similar to canon, and Obito fell into Madara's hands.

With Sakumo still alive at the time, Kakashi was able to recover from this without the major personality shift, and due to a combination of Sakumo and Ming Fan's additional training, when it was Rin's turn on the chopping block, she instead survived and now continues to live as the Konoha's second jinchuriki

Obito attacked Konoha with the intention of releasing the kyuubi, and at the time Kushina and Minato were in the Senju compound for the birth

Mito got in his way, delaying him long enough for Sakumo to also arrive

In the fight, both Mito and Sakumo died (fucking thanks, Obito. I dont think Kakashi's gonna be able to forgive u for that one this time around) but Kushina and Minato survived, and Naruto was born healthy and without the fox sealed into him

Kakashi is understandable devastated, and as recovery efforts begin, he's taken in by Minato and Kushina. He offers little fight against this.

With Sakumo's death, Kagami was once again appointed as the Hokage. After only a year or two of stabilizing Konoha + preparing his successor, he quickly gives Minato the hat, and retreats once again to retirement.

Minato makes Kakashi and Rin both ANBU, expressing his desire to have them by his side (at least this time they're slightly older, with Kakashi at 15 and Rin at 17) and puts them on home guard, specifically as Naruto's ANBU guards. It's an easy job, and helps Kakashi in particular to heal some, even if he gets even more rigid about things like rules and formalities

With Izuna as the first Hokage and Kagami as the third (and technical 5th) Uchiha-village relations were actually very good! Thanks to this, the Uchiha massacre was avoided entirely

Kakashi is raised pretty much as Naruto's very protective older brother, with Rin in a similar boat but she still has her own family so there isnt quite so much trauma fueled dependency from her end.

Naruto grows up to be alarmingly talented, with Kakashi and Rin tutoring him, and Minato and Kushina obviously doing their best (though Minato remains mostly busy due to the unfortunate realities of being a Hokage. Meanwhile Naruto is absolutely a total mommas boy)

Kakashi and Rin end up actually fighting over who gets to be Naruto's sensei (Naruto wants NEITHER OF THEM!!!!! HES A BIG BOY NOW STOP CODDLING HIM!!!!!)

Canon then proceeds mostly the same, though with some very obvious major changes

Somewhere along the way, Itachi is convinced to ditch Konoha even without the massacre, and later down the like Sasuke also follows suit to investigate what happened with his brother— though this time he leaves with orders from Minato to go undercover, and investigate Sound

(fucking THANKS dad!! -Naruto, probably, when he finds this out)

COOL! SO! WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY!

Ming Fan fucking bodies Pain right before he kills Kakashi. (Sorry Kakashi, no fireside chat with your father for you)

Now, Ming Fan had a pretty lasting effect on Kakashi's life overall, but he was only around for like, idk, half a year maybe. And Kakashi was young during the time, so his memories of the man remain very blurry and overall half forgotten.

So Kakashi doesn't recognize him immediately— Though from Ming Fan's side, he's immediately mistaking him for Sakumo, then realizing no, wait it isn't him, doing the mental math and making an educated guess that this has to be Kakashi then.

But that doesnt matter rn bc it is THROW DOWN OCLOCK !!!!!

The overall battle goes mostly according to canon but w less casualties since Ming Fan joins in, but then Naruto does his talk no jutsu or however that goes, Pain agrees to revive everyone, boom there done.

So tbh my knowledge of Naruto gets HELLA blurry from here on out, so we're gonna keep it vague, but, like, MING FAN IS HERE AGAIN YAYYYYY

Unfortunately p much everyone who could have instantly recognized him is fucking dead now. Kagami, Danzo and Hiruzen got picked off in previous battles or smthn, Mito and Sakumo are fucking dead, the kids who grew attached to him were too young and the time they knew him too short to really remember,

BUT.

Despite literally only being around for like, 6 months. Ming Fan succeeded at being so annoying that Minato never fucking forgot his face <3

(also there are probably some Uchiha around w sharingan memories of him)

So Minato sees this guy and goes through all the stages of grief at once. Meanwhile Ming Fan is seeing the hat and raising his eyebrows and going no way Sakumo chose THIS bitch boy for the job.

Meanwhile Naruto is standing direcly next to Minato going DAD WHOS THIS WHO IS THAT DAD HEY DAD HEY DAD WHO IS THAT DAD—

(Listen this is a hard day for everyone. Minato included. But this. This. He could just. Really use a fucking break. Thanks.)

But anyways Ming Fan is here and even if he got the option to go home, like, right now, he honestly probably wouldnt take it bc now hes kind of pissed. What do you MEAN Konoha is under attack? What do you MEAN some masked figure killed Sakumo years ago and now is back and also claiming to be Madara Uchiha and theyre trying to fucking kill everyone??

So yeah he's on board to fight, Konoha headband equipped to his belt, he's ready to stick around some more before he tries to go home again.

(and then someone gasps theatrically at Pain's eyes and goes "omg the rinnegan,, the mystical eyes said to be able to traverse time and space,,," and Ming Fan goes WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY THOSE EYES CAN DO")

But also Pain is dead now. So.

(Distant Sasuke, who is still following the beats of his canon story but just undercover under Minato's orders now noises)

So like Ming Fan sticks around, battles happen, we get Kakashi and an older Nawaki remembering him. Nawaki falls back a bit into his old view of thinking Ming Fan is just the coolest, but meanwhile Kakashi kind of takes on the role Izuna used to have, and now him and Ming Fan are having little cat fights in the bg

(With Sakumo having lived so much longer + having been able to comfort his son after Obito's death, the lack of Rin, Minato, and Kushina's death, and just in general all the little things stacking up in a different way than before, Kakashi avoided his major personality shift and is a lot closer to being the strict, bratty kid he used to be than the lazy, perpetually late slack off we know and love in canon)

anyways, blah blah blah, stuff happens, lots of battles, drama, oh my,

Finally we get to the Hokage's being revived for the final battle.

For whatever reason, Ming Fan was occupied somewhere else, possibly getting wrapped up in Sasuke's shit, when they were brought back.

So like.

POV he enters the battlefield, intending to face off with Madara. Then just.

Tobirama, distantly across the battlefield: ᵒʰ ˢʰᶦᵗ ⁿᵒ ʷᵃʸ

Ming Fan, who can hear him just fine bc cultivator: OH SHIT YES WAY YOU USELESS HACK

Ming Fan spends way too much time shouting at Tobirama when he should be FIGHTING GET BACK TO WORK MING FAN

I need a Ming Fan > Izuna > Kakashi bitch fest where they all just fucking snip at each other actually, I think it'd be funny

Ming Fan probably winds up yelling at Madara too, who did not expect to see him here

"Didn't the Senju send you home??"

"Didn't you die after making a fool of yourself in front of all of Konoha??"

Ming Fan doesnt use chakra so he's able to help back up Gai in his fight against Madara, and Gai is able to leave the battle not crippled for life, which is nice

Kaguya descends, things happen, the fight is won and the day is saved, and the fighting finally comes to an end

Sasuke somehow manage to end up with the rinnegan, and instead of trying to use the hiraishan for the third fucking time, Sasuke agrees to try and instead use it (and Ming Fan's qi) as a homing beacon to try and find his original dimension w the rinnegan! Much more reliable method

And so, for the final time, Ming Fan says his goodbyes.

It's,,, an event.

The old hokage's, including Sakumo, are still around with the power of edo tensei, and he's able to give his goodbyes to them all once again, one by one.

Tobirama gives only a brief apology for the seal not working as it should before dissolving into mumbled theories of what might have gone wrong— then remembers himself and shakes his head, offering a curt goodbye

Izuna scoffs and says that at this rate, he expects to see Ming Fan again in a couple decades when the next chakra goddess tries to explode the world and the living are forced to once again turn to him for help💅

Ming Fan tells him to shut the fuck up, and if it happens then he'll just look forward to getting another opportunity to call him a fool to his face, instead of to a grave.

Izuna laughs, and waves him away

Kagami doesn't have too much to say, but thanks Ming Fan for his help. "You may be from another world, but you are just as much of a konoha man as any of us."

Ming Fan... chooses not to take this as an insult. Instead, he nods his head, and gives Kagami the full respect a Hokage would ordinarily deserve, for quite possibly the first time.

Sakumo, he finds holding his son as Kakashi clings to his shoulder. Ming Fan watches for a moment, and Sakumo catches his eye. He gives him a big, genuine smile, mouths thank you, and bows his head.

They already said their goodbyes once, and Ming Fan doesn't wish to take any of the time he has left away from his son. He nods back, and continues.

Minato, when he finds him, is hiding out on the battlefield, laying down with an arm covering his eyes. He groans, when he sees Ming Fan, but sits up.

"Don't despair, you'll finally be getting rid of me." Ming Fan sighs, and Minato snorts.

Minato is... Well, he's a lot more fond of Ming Fan than he once was. Even if the man is still a giant pain in the ass. They speak for a bit, Ming Fan advises him to go ahead and retire already, god knows its what his son would want, and Minato stares up at the sky.

"At this point? I really should have ages ago."

Minato shakes himself, and finally stands, offering a hand to Ming Fan.

Ming Fan clasps his risks, and they nod to each other, probably more civil than they ever have been before.

"Fighting with you has been.... a wonder." Minato seemed to settle on, and Ming Fan arched a brow.

"Not an honor?"

"I think we both know the answer to that."

Ming Fan rolled his eyes, but still smirked.

"Likewise. Take care of your family."

"May you finally return to yours."

And with that, they part ways.

He's walking back to Sasuke, when those who had been edo tenseid fade away. He's just in time to see Kakashi, back turned, as he watches his father go for one final time.

When he turns, he catches his eye. Eyes, plural, as it seems Obito had left him with quite the gift.

Kakashi nods to him, seeming still overwhelmed with his fathers departure, and not quite sure what else to say to Ming Fan.

It's a stark cry from their first goodbye, Kakashi so far from the young boy who once clung to Ming Fan's leg, huffing about him not being allowed to leave till he taught him just a little bit more.

It's Ming Fan, who takes the steps towards the man.

"I'm glad my lessons were ever of any use to you. You've certainly made better use of them than I ever could have imagined." He says, and when Kakashi goes just a touch red under his mask, Ming Fan thinks he might understand what Shizun was talking about, when he laments about the cuteness of his students even once grown.

"WHAT? Are you seriously gonna go, just like that?"

It's Naruto, who's apparently caught wind of Ming Fan planning to leave sooner rather than later.

"No way am I letting you leave with the bastard before he's given me an explanation!" Naruto grabs Sasuke, who with the pained face of someone who knows they're about to get what they deserve, just sort of lets it happen.

"You gotta stay for at least the celebration! We finally won, it's time to party!"

(Ming Fan laughs, and he decides that just for a bit longer— Just a night more, he will stay)

.

.

.

It has been one year to the day, since Shen Qingqiu's head disciple disappeared.

The exact allowance of a disciple to vanish, before you must consider declaring them dead.

Shen Qingqiu...

Doesn't like to talk about it. Binghe seems to realize he can only comfort him so much for this fact, and today has taken to giving him a bit of space, which he appreciates.

It's for this reason, when a swirl appears in his bamboo hut, depositing two men, that Shen Quingqiu is alone.

"Shizun, this disciple is reporting his absence for these last 6 years. I apologize for my lateness." Ming Fan cries, falling to his knees and bowing his head.

Shen Quingqiu is on his feet in an instant, reaching towards his disciple, already having to suppress the cry rising up in his throat as he falls to his own knees, taking Ming Fan's hands in his own.

"Ming Fan will not apologize for thing out of his own control, this one is overjoyed to see you home."

The man behind his disciple shifts, and Ming Fan gestures towards him.

"This Uchiha Sasuke has assisted in bringing me—"

Wait WHAT.

Fuckin. Lugh track. Roll credits. Idk. Boom. Done. Theres ur au. Fuck how did this end up being so long

[handmade-witch]

Be Mine - Happy Valentine's Day 💝

Pairing: Theodore Nott x Reader

[[AN: kinda modern AUish? Idk Theo makes a ur mom joke (i'm sorry I couldn't help myself) - enjoy! 😂💞]]

Read Mattheo's story here <3

Read Blaise's story here <3

Read Draco's story here <3

Read Enzo's story here <3

You flop on your bed, sighing heavily. Pansy, your roomate, used to your dramatic antics, doesn't even look up from the magazine she's flipping through.

"What's wrong," she asks plainly. The pages crinkle softly as she turns them.

"I swear everybody in this whole damn school has a Valentine for tomorrow except me." You groan. You grab a pillow and proceed to shove your face into it, letting out a frustrated groan.

"Oh come on I'm sure not everyone has a date for tomorrow."

"Says you," you grumble through the fabric of your pillow. "You and Draco are all in love or whatever, and-"

"We are not in love." She cuts you off. If your head was not buried in the pillow, you would've seen how her face flushed red at the suggestion.

"Whatever." You huff, "As I was saying, you and Draco, Daphne and Blaise, i think Enzo's going out with some Ravenclaw, and knowing Mattheo he's likely already picked out his one night stand." You sit up, hugging the pillow against your chest. "I guess I'm just destined to be alone this year. Maybe I'll buy myself roses. Is that as pathetic as it sounds?"

Pansy chuckles at your dramatic ranting. "Maybe just a smidge pathetic." She teases. She looks up from her magazine and meets your eyes. "You're forgetting someone."

You feel the heat rise in your cheeks. "Please don't," you grumble, "the thought of him with other girls makes me want to throw up." You squeeze the pillow tightly.

"As far as I'm aware he does not have a date." She shrugs innocently, looking back down at the magazine in her lap.

"As far as you are aware." You roll your eyes. "How would you even know?"

"Well Draco hasn't mentioned anything and you know how much he loves gossip."

You chuckled. Your blonde friend did have a reputation as the school's biggest gossip. If you wanted to know anything about anyone he would be the person to ask.

"Well you know Theo," you sighed. You knew Theo- perhaps almost better than you knew yourself- and that's what made this so hard. "He's a private guy."

"Maybe you should just ask him out? Ya know, grab the bull by its horns or whatever."

"And risk him rejecting me and ruining our friendship? I'd rather just be alone tomorrow." You groan and flop back on the bed.

"Just think about it." She replies.

•••

At the same moment, Mattheo, Theodore, and Draco are playing a game of pool in the common room. Mattheo leans over the table, holding the cue stick steady as he lines up his shot.

"So Theo..." Mattheo starts. He hits the cue ball, sending it rolling into another ball with a clink, which rolls into the pocket. "Plans for tomorrow?"

Theodore frowns. Mattheo knew he didn't have plans for tomorrow so why would he bring it up?

"Yeah with your mom" he mutters, leaning over to line up his own shot.

Draco cackles. Mattheo punches Draco in the arm.

"Why didn't you ask someone out? It's not like you have to marry them or anything. Just go out and have some fun." Mattheo shrugs, using his cue stick to lean on nonchalantly.

"There's no one I was interested in asking." Theo shrugged, leaning against a piece of nearby furniture.

Draco scoffs as he hits his shot. "Oh that's the biggest lie you've ever told."

Theo's jaw tightened and his ears turned red. "Shut up Malfoy."

"You two are insufferable." He complains, "just kiss already so the rest of us can move on with our lives."

"Why didn't you just ask [Y/N]?" Mattheo asks.

Draco answers the question for Theo. "Wah I don't want to ruin our friendship. Oh they don't see me like that. Blah blah blah," Draco mocks. Now Theodore punches him in the arm.

"No need to be so aggressive." He pouts, rubbing his shoulder.

The group falls silent as they continue their game but Theodore's mind is distracted by thoughts of you. He wanted so badly to ask you to be his Valentine but Draco was right. He didn't think you saw him that way and he didn't want to ruin the friendship you two had.

•••

You sat at breakfast the next morning, scowling into your coffee. You were in a proper foul mood with reminders of your own loneliness everywhere you turned. The only reason you had gotten out of bed was because Pansy had told you she had a suprise for you and that she would not give it to you umless you did. When you did get up, she presented you with a stuffed animal that read "Best Friends" across it's belly and a box of your favorite chocolates. You had to admit that it was a sweet and kind gesture. You hugged Pansy tightly and thanked her before you both got ready and headed down for breakfast.

Now that you were at breakfast you were regretting your decision. Flowers and heart-shaped boxes and teddy bears surrounded you. Couples holding hands, hugging, and kissing were everywhere you turned. You pretend to be very interested in your pancakes when Draco joined the table, kissing Pansy sweetly. You plaster a smile on your face when Blaise and Daphne walk up hand-in-hand. And when Theodore takes his seat next to you, you don't acknowledge him, which he thinks is odd. You always say good morning to him.

He nudges you lightly with his elbow. "You okay?" He asks, concern lacing his features.

"Just peachy." You grumble, taking a long sip of coffee.

"So what are you up to tonight?" Theo asks.

You sigh heavily. You really didn't want to be telling him this but you can't help the snarky remark that falls from your lips-- "Got a hot date with a bottle of wine."

Pansy snickers from her spot across the table. You shoot her a glare and stick out your tongue.

•••

The day drags by. You try your best to pay attention in class but the excitement of the day has everyone distracted. You find yourself just watching the minutes tick by on the clock.

Theodore studies you rather than his school material throughout the day. He reads the dissappointed expression in your face and it leaves a sad pang in his heart. He had a guilty feeling sitting like a rock in his stomach.

When class ends you practically run to your dorm room. You immedietly shed your school uniform and change into your comfiest clothes. You rummage through your wardrobe to pull out a hidden bottle of wine. You tore open the chocolates and made a bag of popcorn. And when that was ready you crawled under the covers and turned on Tangled, uncorking the bottle and taking a sip.

Theodore is in the courtyard leaning against a pillar and smoking a cigarette. He was mentally kicking himself. God he was pathetic, he thought. He watched a couple walk across the lawn, hand-in-hand. He sighed, putting out his cigarette and stalking off towards the dorms.

You felt a twinge of annoyance when the sound of a knock startled you out of your immersion in the film. You dragged yourself over to the door. You started to say "What do you want," in an angry tone but when you saw it was Theodore, your words died in your throat.

Theodore looked you up and down. You are wearing an oversided hoodie and are holding the stuffed animal Pansy gave you. Your cheeks and eyes were red.

"Are you crying?" He asks, taking a step forward.

You take a step back into your room. You wipe your tears on the sleeve of your sweatshirt. "Don't judge me, it's a heartfelt movie." You grumble.

Theo holds his hands up in defense, "I wasn't judging." He took a deep breath, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I came to apologize," he sighed. "I feel like I messed this up big time."

Your eyebrows draw together, giving him a confused stare. You had no idea what he was talking about.

He sighed again, looking into your eyes with a soft gaze. "I'm sorry. I should've asked you to be my Valentine."

Your eyes trace the features of his face as you take in his words. "Why didn't you?"

Theo ran a hand through his hair. "I- I got in my own head. Convinced myself you wouldn't want me to ask you."

You hug the stuffed animal tight to your chest, twisting your body back in forth slightly as your eyes fall to his shoes.

"Theo.." you say in a small voice. "You were the only person I wanted to ask me."

Theo takes a step forward and you don't take a step back this time. He gently brushes your arm with his fingertips. He angles his head to try to look in your eyes. "I'm sorry. Is there any chance you would give me a do over?"

"Valentine's day is almost over." You mumble, shrugging your shoulders in defeat.

"Well then we can pretend tomorrow is Valentine's day. Let me make it up to you. Please?" His blue eyes are soft and pleading.

"Yeah, okay." You sigh, a soft smile finding its way to your face.

Theo grins in response... before turning around and swiftly walking out of your room and closing the door behind him. Your jaw drops open in shock. 'What the fuck just happened?' Moments later you hear a knock.

"What the--?" Theo is now standing in front of your door, holding your favorite flower out to you.

"[Y/N] will you be my Valentine."

You break into a real smile now, grinning from ear to ear as you except the flower with a soft chuckle. "Of course." You step back gesturing to the room behind you. "Care to join me for a not-Valentine's-day movie night?"

Theo returns your grin and nods.

•••

After that it becomes a special tradition: for as many years as you and Theo date, he never takes you out on the 14th-- always the 15th. 💞

[evvyyypeters-fics]

Intro/ Rules!!!

Hey! Welcome to my blog! 

Just a disclaimer that I did have another blog, but that one got deleted on accident because I’m a silly goose so most of my posts in the start are reuploads from that account! (Boosts on reuploads are appreciated if you're seeing this at a recent time.)

Please follow my main account if you want to. Where I post my more personal, opinionated and laid back content. 

This account is for my writing. I mainly write fics based around Evan Peters, but I will (rarely) post some more original content or even dip into different fandoms or familiar characters.

My requests are always open unless stated otherwise! Please feel free to send me your ideas and I will try and get to them as quickly as possible! Please make sure to read the rules (below) before sending a request! 

Rules for sending a request

(Warning! I am still a student and I also get burnt out really easily, so please expect a week long MINIMUM before recieving your fic request. I will try my hardest to get to all requests, and ASAP, but I will not make promises to anyone. Even mutuals. Please keep in mind my mental health and work schedule, thank you.)

Dos: 

Any character portrayed by Evan Peters or Evan himself (Disclaimer: All fics pertaining to Evan himself are NOT accurate depictions of the real-life counterpart/ his character. I will have a warning on those fics that they should only be seen as a fictional/ dramatic/ idealistic version of him and is not meant to substitute as real information or depiction of him.)

Any character from AHS (American Horror Story)

Other fandoms I’m in: MOE (Mare of Easttown), Umbrella Academy, Challengers, OBX, RE (Resident Evil), Pedro Pascal (drool), Heathers, My Life With the Walter Boys, The Last Of Us, NARCOS, YOU, Riverdale (might add more in the future. This isn’t guaranteed, but if you’re interested in me writing for any of these please suggest them to me.)

Smut, fluff, angst, whatever

I’m not picky, anything is fine with me unless it crosses my boundaries (below) 

Don’ts (ick): 

Scat and vomit fetishes. Absolutely not. Hard no. Not sorry. 

Vore or any weird shit like cannibalism and other more “alternative” kinks

Any sort of r4pe or 4ssault/ non-con. I might delve into dub-con but there will still be a basis of consent (like a previous discussion or understanding). 

Any sort of incest. That includes step-cest. Absolutely not. 

Illegal age gaps or hard age gaps and ageplay. This includes an 18 year old/ barely legal with anyone over 24. My age gaps will always be 20+ if it includes someone the age of 30 or over. I will also not do any sort of ddlg or “littles”. It’s not my forte and I especially won’t do it if you sexualize it.

On the topic of age, all characters (including reader) will be 18+ when it comes to smut or sexual-related fics. I will try to add this warning when it is crucial to specific characters, but please know that all characters that you request smut of that are originally minors WILL be aged up and that will be depicted inside the fic. There is no exceptions to this rule.

MLM, (T)MLM, (T)FLM, etc. are a no for me. As AFAB I only know how to write for the cis-fem experience and while I love my gays and theys, I just don’t feel comfortable in my ability to do gay or trans/ trans-gay relationships justice. I also don’t feel that it’s my place to write for them. On this note, most of my fics will be reader x male character related but that does not mean that I won't write F4F just because that's in my comfort zone and I understand that experience better.

Too specific of reader details. This also goes into what I said above, but I will no write for race or body type specific readers. I am a cis-white averagely sized woman and while I’m a hard ally, I genuinely just don’t believe I can accurately depict those experiences or people so I will always try and keep the reader as blank as possible so that anyone who reads my fics can be in that character’s shoes.

Tangent: Sadly, I don’t write lots of GN fics just because as a writer I DO insert myself into the story because visualization is how I write. So often the reader will be fem and may have more euro-centric features, typically unintentional. If you have a problem with that, I recommend you find another writer to consume/ create your fic ideas or make your own. (Please do, we need more writers in the EP fandom. This is tough work, truly.)

Now that we’re past the hard stuff, here’s some information about me! (Some may have been clarified before, but here’s a clearer run-down.) 

Basic Information about me:

You can call me Evie or Evvy! 

I go by she/her and they/them

I’m cis-fem and bisexual! 

Some of my hobbies: 

Writing (obviously)

Reading (duh) 

Drawing (check out my main account for some fanart)

Collecting Bear Paraphernalia (figures, mugs, plushies, t-shirts, etc.) 

Collecting vintage 

Thrifting

Fashion 

Some of my favorite musical artists!: 

Lana Del Rey

Ethel Cain

Mazzy Star

Boa

The Smiths

Lesley Gore

Queen

Skeeter Davis

Lady Gaga

Deftones

Morrissey

Chappel Roan

Akira Yamaoka (underrated producer IMO)

Many others I will spare you to not list, including VOCALOID artists under this part

My favorite movies/ shows!: 

AHS (uhm) 

MOE

The Days 2004 

Anything by Tim Burton and Jim Henson

My Life With the Walter Boys (cringe I know, but Noah Lalonde is so hot ok pls spare me) 

Pearl, Maxxxine, etc

Anything by Sofia Coppola (queen)   

The Breakfast Club 

Pretty in Pink

Sixteen Candles

Riverdale (yes, sadly. Bughead is otp idc)

Alice in Wonderland (you know which one) 

My favorite books:

The Virgin Suicides

Girl, Interrupted

Cuckoo Song

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series

Nana

Honestly anything by Ai Yazawa

Anything by Clamp

The Stranger

Lolita

My favorite games: 

Silent Hill

Resident Evil

American McGees Alice in Wonderland 

Siren series

Sims4

Animal Crossing

Alice by American McGee series

Anything by Puppet Combo and 616 Games 

Hatsune Miku Project Diva and Mirari 

My favorite Celebrities: 

Evan Peters (no comment.) 

Taissa Farmiga 

Lily Rabe

Pedro Pascal

Noah Lalonde

Christian Slater

Emma Watson

Lana Del Rey

Lady Gaga

Chappel Roan

Aurora

Lili Reinhart

Things I hate (despise): 

Emma Roberts 

Julia Roberts

The Roberts

Tumblr creeps

Creeps in general

Bigots

Emma Roberts

Halsey

Incest 

Zionists

Did I mention Emma Roberts?

Emma Snoberts 

Thank you so much for reading this yap session of information! Please boost my posts if you’re willing and able, it really helps with reach and gives me motivation to keep writing! I love seeing all of your reactions to my work! 

If you wish to contact me, whether about your requests or just to become friends/ mutuals and just chat, please feel free! My door is always open to anyone who wants to have a friendly discussion, or if you want to know more about me!

Masterlist to be added...

Main Account if you didn't see it

Tagging to boost/ mooties/ ahs fans (mainly users I can remember rn cuz my spirit animal is literally Dory from Finding Nemo istg):

@fear-is-truth @jazz-berry @irl-violetharmon @taintandviolent @evanpeterswifeyyy @lemoniiiiiii @t8-ak47

[thepunkmuppet]

costumes / looks I desperately need gerard way to wear on stage (add your own in reblogs!!)

greek statue, he’s fully painted white including his hair with a white toga with a golden wreath thing on his head. I just think that would look sick

police uniform covered in blood

straight up zombie with full on green decaying gory make up

one of the heathers from heathers

either the blue cheerleader outfit from the i’m not okay mv or the iconic red ones from teenagers. then we’d have a little trio!

ghostface. possibly cunty ghostface as a treat

vanya from umbrella academy - young version with the school girl fit and black mask OR the all white comic version of course

also number five from umbrella academy (classic school boy fit)

this sounds weird but I think this would be really cool and meta for wwwy - a stereotypical mcr fan / emo. as in with that one black parade t shirt, heavy eyeliner, black nails, side swept emo fringe, studded bracelets and belts, skinny black jeans, vans or converse. again a very meta concept, after their old person looks in 2022 I can really see them doing this as a whole band this year and I would loooove to finally see gerard in the fashion style that’s so associated with him and his music

howl from howl’s moving castle

possibly also sophie from howl’s moving castle

slenderman

literally just satan. like the most stereotypical devil, give them fully painted red skin, horns, fangs, yellow or black eyes, maybe even goat legs. probably with a majestic black suit or something, or for a succubus vibe a black flowy dress with a slit down the leg. now that I think about it, this would be a SICK wwwy look to shock us all, esp if ray mikey and frank all dressed as other demons or the souls of the damned or some shit.

peni parker - he made her!!

question mark jumper from doctor who

also missy from doctor who omg

jane doe from ride the cyclone, possibly with added marionette or cracked porcelain makeup like in some renditions

classic majestic white-robed angel, with enormous fake wings and maybe even sparkly gold makeup and a big gold halo. also would be cool in all black, or all white but covered in blood (red, gold, or black, all would look cool)

buffy summers in prophecy girl, except he also has blood all over his neck from where the master bit her. I hope he’s watched btvs I think he would very much enjoy it this look would fit with their vampire vibe sooooo well

classic frankenstein’s monster

mothman. not only is he a heartthrob but he’s also a hunched goblin cryptid to me. the duality of man (he/theys)

jane prentiss from the magnus archives. if you don’t know she is a living flesh hive of sentient worms, she’s decaying and full of holes. again with all the nasty decaying rotting prosthetic makeup plus THE RED DRESS!!!

mr darcy vibes, sopping wet regency man with a big puffy white t shirt

opposite side of that, fuck it give him a full on ballroom gown

henry creel from stranger things (pre-vecna, nurse outfit)

any disney princess

crowley from good omens. my man looks GOOD in those anthony janthony aah sunglasses he has

cute flowy summer dress with like a flowery pattern. either go cottagecore with it and have flowers in his hair, or go full white soccer mum and put him in huge cunty sunglasses a massive straw sun hat with a ribbon on it

all-black cowboy!!!! the fact I’ve never seen him in a cowboy hat is actual sacrilege. also would very much appreciate an all-pink sequin studded cowboy

any alice in wonderland character, especially alice herself, the classic disney movie look with the blue dress and the bow in the hair. he would also do a great chesire cat (spooky big grin makeup paired with his weird ass dramatic facial expressions?? inspired) or a super extravagant queen / king / knave of hearts. also 100000% the mad hatter omfg, he was BORN to do a jefferson from once upon a time look!!

[glamboyl]

In the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, about 100 miles from the Canadian province of Nova Scotia, there’s a small sliver of land that is populated entirely by wild horses.

These horses — about 450 of them — are the only full-time residents of Sable Island.

“There’s really nowhere else like it on Earth, and it’s one of those places that I think very easily puts you into perspective about our place in this world,” said Drew Doggett, a photographer and filmmaker who has been visiting the Canadian island for more than 10 years. “You’re on this teeny-tiny speck of sand in the middle of the North Atlantic, and you’ve never felt so small. Yet you’re amongst these animals that are thriving in this place that is nothing but sand and dune grasses and a few freshwater ponds.”

Canada’s Sable Island is home to hundreds of wild horses. No other species lives there year-round.

For more than 250 years, horses have been living on the remote, crescent-shaped island, which has a land area of just 13 square miles.

They’re one of the remarkable breeds Doggett photographed for his new coffee-table book “Untamed Spirits: Horses from Around the World.” His images celebrate the beauty and enduring appeal of horses by documenting some of the most exceptional on Earth.

“Their stories of survival and ability to thrive in these places — places that man oftentimes has not been able to — it’s awe-inspiring,” he said.

An Icelandic horse traverses a black sand beach. Iceland is “home to these extraordinary natural features that almost defy reality,” Doggett said.

Some of Doggett’s most striking photos came out of Iceland, which is home to a rugged breed descended from the original Viking horse.

“They live a very surreal and otherworldly existence,” Doggett said. “There are some pretty remarkable geological features, from black sand beaches to dramatic waterfalls, that I wanted to photograph these horses amongst.”

The photos look like something out of a fairy tale or a fantasy novel, artfully shot in front of Iceland’s stunning backdrop.

“They’ve created their own fortune in this really difficult, yet beautiful land, and that’s something that attracted me to their story,” Doggett said.

Another breed that Doggett features in his book are the white horses of Camargue. This ancient breed is native to a remote, marshy area in the south of France, where it has roamed for centuries.

“Large, dark, expressive eyes and a palpable, innate confidence punctuate the raw, bold beauty of the Camargue horses,” Doggett says in his book. “They move swiftly, without hesitation, and charge through the water in the natural hierarchy that inevitably arises within their ranks.”

These horses are semi-wild, protected by herdsmen known as gardians, or “the cowboys of the Riviera.”

“There’s been cave paintings discovered in this region of these horses, (from) probably prehistoric times,” Doggett said. “So there’s this lineage that was fascinating.”

Doggett set up a studio in Florida to take portraits of sport horses.

“I find it fascinating when wild animals have a similar domesticated counterpart,” Doggett said.

Wild breeds were Doggett’s initial fixation when he started this project, but his book also includes portraits of world-class sport horses from the equestrian world.

He set up a mobile studio in barns in Wellington, Florida, and drew on his background in fashion photography.

“I was focusing on the musculature of these horses almost as if they’re kind of carved from marble, and I was using studio lights, almost painting them with light,” he said. “I really enjoyed being able to hone in and focus on — in a very intensive way — the physical attributes of these elite animals.”

When Doggett wanted to do a series of images showing this musculature in motion, he went to the Caribbean and photographed horses swimming in the crystalline waters off the island of Tobago. He linked up with a nonprofit rescue group that cared for retired racehorses, polo horses and show jumpers.

“As their daily exercise, the owners of the nonprofit would swim them off the waters of the beach in Tobago,” he said. “This is part of their everyday existence.”

Doggett would put on scuba gear and take photos below the water’s surface — difficult, he said, but extremely rewarding.

“I felt like underwater was a way which I could highlight these animals’ elegance and grace in a minimalist backdrop,” he said.

Across all of his different photo shoots, Doggett felt there was a common theme among the horses — an untamed spirit that inspired the title of his book.

“Whether they’re domesticated or not, their wildness never truly disappears,” he said. “They also represent strength, resilience, courage, endurance — all these various qualities that I am drawn to and want to celebrate.”

“They represent a certain mythological and symbolic-like ideology that doesn’t really exist in other animals,” he said. “They’re respected and honored symbols around the world. …

“I think there’s something incredibly romantic about the notion that there are these animals out there which exist that are so strong and courageous yet their wildness can’t ever be tamed.”

Drew Doggett’s book “Untamed Spirits: Horses from Around the World,” published by teNeues, is now available.

[part-time-zombie]

Not Bad

pairings: platonic dukexiety

summary: Virgil liked to sing, but refuses to do so after realizing no one likes hearing him sing. Well, almost no one...

tags: warnings: hurt/comfort, roman is kind of a jerk at the start, remus is a good friend

word count: 1970

A/N: The first part of this takes place before Accepting Anxiety and Virgil's name reveal, so Virgil is referred to as Anxiety at the start.

Anxiety didn’t like showing up for very long, and for good reason. It had been made very clear to him that he wasn’t welcome, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care. He was only doing his job, just like everyone else, and even if they weren’t always on the same page he hoped that they’d at least understand that even if they didn’t respect it.

They sure as hell didn’t respect him, anyway.

He wasn’t trying to bother them this time, he was just hoping to grab a quick bite of food and he’d leave again. By the looks of it, they were all more than fine with that, as they tried their best to ignore him as he quickly slinked into the kitchen in search of a snack.

He had come prepared, of course, with his headphones already blasting his playlist loud enough to drown out even Roman’s own dramatic singing. He always found a way to insult Anxiety when he felt like he was being an issue, and he wasn’t about to hear any of it if he didn’t have to.

He perused the snacks in the kitchen while the others busied themselves in the living room, and it seemed they were actually going to leave him alone this time. Letting himself feel emboldened by the thought, Anxiety took his time, quietly humming along to the music under his breath.

It was one of his favorite songs to listen to, one he’d sing along to on occasion when he was alone. There was just something about it that cheered him up a little, and he always felt better hearing it.

Eventually he found something that looked appetizing enough, and he gingerly walked back to the stairs with his snack in tow, not even aware that he was still humming along.

Roman, meanwhile, was very much aware.

“Geez, Anxiety, if you were gonna make us listen to your edgy music you could’ve at least let the actual band play it,” he teased from his spot on the couch. “Or better yet, let me do the singing around here. At least I’m actually good at it.”

Anxiety whipped around to face him, pulling the headphones down around his shoulders. He had already heard Roman loud and clear, thanks to an unfortunately timed lull in the music, but he was hoping he didn’t properly hear what he thought Roman had just said. “What?”

“I’m just saying, music isn’t exactly your strong suit.”

“Roman, be nice,” Patton interrupted, much to Anxiety’s relief.

Roman didn’t listen or let up. “What? I’m just being honest. He’s got a bad singing voice, is all.”

“Technically, there aren’t any ‘bad’ singing voices, only untrained ones,” Logan added.

“Alright, fine, he’s got an ‘untrained’ singing voice, it still sounds bad either way.”

Anxiety felt his face twist into a defensive scowl. It was only humming. He wasn’t even singing any actual lyrics, for crying out loud. Sure, he’s no professional, but Roman didn’t have the right to go and say something like that out of nowhere, especially not when Anxiety and the others have been letting him sing his own lungs out plenty of times.

Then again, that was Roman. He’s the prince, the fan favorite. Anxiety is just… Anxiety. He’s the villain, the problem. Why would they go easy on him? It’s not like they have any reason to, they sure as hell don’t like him. Now they have something else to taunt and torment him about all because he was stupid enough to drop his guard. It just so happens that this something is much more personal to him, and it’s gonna hurt a lot more later on.

It already hurt badly enough now.

Anxiety stormed back upstairs and kept his door firmly shut behind him, turning the music up even louder than before in the hopes that it would drown out the cutting words that had already made their way into his head. The music kept playing, but Anxiety wasn’t singing along anymore.

Virgil slouched at the kitchen table, quietly picking at his cooling breakfast. No one else was in the kitchen with him, much to his relief, as the others had all already finished their food and were busy carrying on with the rest of their morning routines.

Not anymore, never again.

The food was alright, he just wasn’t feeling hungry. Last night had been rather rough for him, and right now all he wanted to do was curl back up in bed and sleep for the rest of the day. Of course, he couldn’t do that. There was plenty of stuff he had to do today, and he knew that if he went back to bed he’d only stress himself out even further about it.

Sighing to himself, he put on his headphones and started up his playlist. It had gone through plenty of changes through the years, with plenty of songs being added and a few dropped, but it still helped him get out of any slump he found himself in, even one as small as this.

He pressed play and let the opening chords of his favorite song fill his ears, already relaxing into the familiar melody as he finished his breakfast.

The music continued to play as he cleaned his finished dishes in the sink, with the playlist eventually landing on Forbidden Fruit. Virgil almost thought to change it, still unsure as to why or how it was even on his playlist to begin with, but he just sighed and let it play out. His hands were still covered in soapy water, and it would be too much of a hassle to dry himself off and fish his phone out of his pocket just to skip one song. Besides, he had to admit it was pretty catchy.

The rhythm worked its way into his head, and Virgil found himself idly humming along as he finished the final dish. He dried his hands on a towel and turned back to the kitchen table, only to nearly jump out of his skin when he saw Remus crouched over it and staring at him with a wide grin.

“Holy shit, Remus, what the hell are you doing?” he gasped, pulling his headphones away from his ears and taking a few deep breaths. “You nearly gave me a heart attack, y’know that?”

“You were singing my song,” he replied, his smile only growing wider.

Virgil’s heart leapt into his throat, and he felt like kicking himself as the realization and shame set in. He had gone and done it again, exposing his dismal lack of talent in another moment of weakness. It’s like he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. “Shit, yeah. Just forget about it, okay? Sorry.”

Remus quirked his head to the side, replacing his grin with a confused pout. “For what?”

Virgil shrugged, only feeling even more awkward. “I dunno, for humming too loudly, I guess. It’s probably pretty annoying, and I bet I only ruined it.”

Remus made a face before jumping from the table. “I don’t think you ruined it. If anything, I’d say you made it better.”

“Yeah, right. That’s just because you’ve got bad taste,” Virgil scoffed.

Remus crossed his arms, expression smug. “If my taste is so bad, why were you singing my song?”

Virgil didn’t have a response to that one.

“Whatever, just leave it alone, alright?” he grumbled, quickly sliding past Remus and out of the kitchen. He wasn’t dealing with this again. Once was enough.

“I can’t just leave it alone,” Remus called after him. “How can I leave it alone when this is the first time I’ve heard you sing in years?”

Virgil stopped and slowly turned to face him. Remus looked sincere, almost concerned. At least, that’s what it looked like, but Remus never feels concerned about anything, least of all Virgil.

“You used to sing all the time back then,” he continued, taking a few steps closer. “It was so awesome hearing you having fun like that, why’d you ever stop?”

Virgil shuffled in place, not looking at Remus. He had heard him? Virgil thought he was safe when he would sing, but Remus was listening this whole time? How much had he overheard before Virgil stopped, and how much did he laugh about with Janus or Roman?

“I didn’t think you’d hear me,” he muttered, nervously fidgeting with the drawstring of his hoodie. “You don’t need to tell me how stupid it was, I know it sounds bad.”

Remus didn’t say anything for a moment, and Virgil looked up at him to see what was going on. His face was slack with confusion and an unreadable emotion.

“Who told you that?” he asked, voice frighteningly low. “Who convinced you that you shouldn’t sing because they’re too stupid to realize how awesome it is?”

Virgil took a step back, almost repelled by Remus’ stare. “Look, it’s no big deal, alright? I know I suck at singing, it’s just a fact.”

“Hell no,” Remus snapped, stepping forward and forcing the distance between them to close. “I loved listening to you sing, and if someone went and made you feel like shit for it then they’re in for a fucking fight!”

Virgil froze, not only because he was very sure Remus would follow through with his threat even if it would be towards his own brother, but also because of what he had said just before it.

“You… like it when I sing?”

Remus scoffed in disbelief, and Virgil worried for a moment that this was all just another joke.

“Of course I fucking like it! There’s a reason I always let you pick the music, and it wasn’t just because you’ve got awesome taste, which you totally do by the way.” He said with another grin.

Virgil narrowed his eyes, searching Remus’ face for any signs of a lie or trick and finding none. This wasn’t Janus he was talking to after all, it was Remus, and Remus always spoke his mind no matter what was on it. When he said something rude it was because he meant it, but the same goes for if he said anything nice.

“You really mean that?”

Remus gave him another smile. “I don’t know which part you’re talking about, but yeah I did.”

Virgil felt himself returning the smile, albeit more subtly. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Don’t sweat it. I just hope this means you’re gonna start singing again, I really do miss it.”

“You know I’m not the karaoke type.”

Remus shrugged. “Maybe you should be. You’re definitely good enough, if you ask me.”

That’s not exactly what Roman told him back then, but he’s been wrong before. He’s actually been wrong about a lot of things, and really so has Virgil. They both thought that it had to be right vs wrong, but Roman hadn’t always been very good, and right now Remus wasn’t being all that bad.

Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at that realization.

“What’s got you laughing like that?” Remus asked, leaning in far too close to get a good look at the grin that was starting to form on Virgil’s face.

“It’s nothing, just thought of something,” he explained, trying and failing to force the smile away.

“And you won’t tell me?”

“Nope. You wouldn’t get it anyway.”

Remus gave him an exaggerated pout, but Virgil just shook his head and headed back upstairs. He adjusted the headphones back over his ears and let the next song play, this time humming along even louder than before.

Singing really was something personal to Virgil, something special. It made him feel more confident and hopeful on his darker days, and if Remus at the very least liked it, then maybe it isn’t that bad.

taglist:

@keitaisghost @rougeside4 @britt-ish123 @new-zee-land @nico-the-overlord @can-i-take-a-stab @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @yuckypuppie

[fanlore-wiki]

Featured Article: The Eye of Argon

This week’s Featured Article is about The Eye of Argon, a novella written in 1970 by Jim Theis. The story was considered a rather obvious pastiche of Robert E Howard’s Conan The Barbarian, most evidently with the protagonist’s name being Grignr the barbarian.

Regarded as the worst fantasy story ever written, The Eye of Argon was a subject of mockery in literary circles. The story has since then been commonly used for turkey readings and party games at conventions. One can also find many dramatic readings of the story on Youtube.

In recent years, the story has been viewed in a more sympathetic light, given how the author was a teenager when he wrote it and quit writing due to the incessant mockery he received.

Learn more about this infamous piece of fiction on Fanlore!

-----

We value every contribution to our shared fandom history. If you’re new to editing Fanlore or wikis in general, visit our New Visitor Portal to get started or ask us questions here!

[imrowanartist]

Gaz dances with Rosie, while also realizing how fast his little girl is growing up 🥹

Tags: toothrotting fluff, humor, established PriceGaz, SFW

About 1200 words, continues under the cut

—

Afternoons like these, Kyle has found, are quickly becoming his favorite. He’s settled at the kitchen table, going over some paperwork, while over in the living room, there’s the soft rustling of paper as Rosie is keeping busy making drawing after drawing at the coffee table.

It’s peaceful. The sound of an animated film on the telly plays softly in the background and provides just enough white noise to keep Kyle’s focus on his work.

Today’s pick is Anastasia, and Kyle actually remembers that movie from his own childhood. It’s a sweet story and it’s even sweeter to see how much Rosie loves it. She’s been on a creative streak lately, redrawing her favorite characters from films, shows, and books alike. It’s something that Kyle and John have been supporting wholeheartedly, nurturing the imagination that she seems to have in abundance.

Lost in thought, Kyle doesn’t notice it when Rosie gets up from her spot and pads over to him until she’s suddenly pulling on his sleeve. He blinks back to the present, looking right into his daughter’s questioning face.

“Dad? Will you dance with me like they do in the film?” she asks and Kyle looks from the puppy eyes she’s giving him to the scene currently playing out on the telly.

It’s a ballroom scene with a whimsical song playing over it and he smiles when he remembers some of the lyrics.

“Of course,” he replies, in the most posh accent he can manage as he gets up. “May I have this dance, Princess Bee?”

He bows dramatically then swipes Rosie up in his arms as she giggles, “Dad, it’s Princess Rosanna—“

“Deepest apologies, your Highness.”

He turns up the sound of the telly, then starts swaying around the living room to the rhythm of the music, taking one of Rosie’s hands in his to mimic a ballroom dance. Her other hand is warm on his shoulder and her laughter in his ear is infectious.

Someone holds me safe and warm Anastasia sings and Kyle can’t help but press his daughter a little closer against him as they make another circle around the coffee table. They hum along to the song together as Kyle tries to take it all in, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. She’s growing up so fast and he’s all too aware that moments like these will not last forever.

He dips Rosie down, then pulls her back up, her cheeks flushed red and eyes wide with joy.

Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember

Kyle swallows against the lump in his throat as he suddenly remembers another instance of swaying around their flat with Rosie held in his arms. Though that had been in the middle of the night and she’d been only a few weeks old at the time; he and John sleep-deprived as they got up every few hours to feed her. It seems a lifetime ago now.

He’d do it all over again, knowing that it means he gets to have this.

“Do a pirouette!” Rosie demands and Kyle grins as he spins around in place until they’re both dizzy and breathless with laughter. As the song ends, he hugs her close and kisses her cheek over and over until Rosie giggles and pulls her face away with a mock grumble.

Behind him, Kyle can hear the front door of their flat opening and closing.

“Da, we’re dancing!” Rosie calls out and Kyle turns with her still in his arms to see his partner shrug out of his coat, back from running his errands.

“Are we now?” John smiles, toeing off his shoes and stepping towards them.

Kyle leans forward to snatch the remote from the table, rewinds to the start of the song, then drags John in by his sleeve.

“Her Highness Princess Rosanna-Bee demands it,” he says, gently swaying his hips as the music slowly intensifies. John holds his gaze for a moment, eyes twinkling and a smile pulling on his lips.

“Haven’t danced in a while, might step on your toes,” he comments, bringing his right arm around Kyle’s back to join them in their dance.

Rosie pats his shoulder in consolation. “That’s okay, Da. Just try your best.”

Kyle has to keep himself from snickering at her completely honest tone and the affronted look on John’s face in return. Then he pulls his partner along in a repeat of before, swirling around the living room to the beat of the music.

It’s clumsy and unpractical, with Rosie on his hip —who’s definitely not a toddler anymore, John’s arm around his back, and all three of their hands held together, but Kyle doesn’t care. All he cares about is the pure joy on his daughter’s face as he sings along to the lyrics this time, pitching his voice to reach the high notes.

They do another spin, and just before the song ends, Kyle trips over the coffee table and with an exaggerated cry, lets himself fall onto the sofa, on top of John, Rosie still held in his arms.

John lets out a loud oomph as he gets stuck underneath them, causing Rosie to laugh so hard she has tears in her eyes. She wriggles in Kyle’s grip till they’re face to face.

“A real Prince wouldn’t have dropped me,” she says pointedly and this time it’s Kyle’s turn to look affronted, feeling John chuckle underneath him.

“Excuse me,” he returns dryly, “A real Princess wouldn’t have a table in the middle of her ballroom.”

She scoffs, then climbs down from the both of them, dusting off her clothes like a real pretend royal. Before Kyle can get up too, he feels John’s arm snake around his waist and his beard nuzzle his neck.

“You’re still a real Prince to me,” his partner mumbles and Kyle just about melts in his grip. He shuffles around until they’re side by side, the sofa barely able to hold them. Kyle takes a moment to study John; the added grey in his hair and the wrinkles around his eyes. It only makes him look more handsome in Kyle’s humble opinion.

“If I’m a Prince, what does that make you? My dashing Knight?”

“Sure,” John hums, before leaning in for a kiss that Kyle returns happily. He could stay in this moment forever, just enjoying his family.

His daughter has other plans though.

“Ewwww,” Rosie groans, already tired of their mushy behaviour. She throws a pillow at them and they break apart with a laugh.

As she skips past the sofa, Kyle reaches out on a whim and pulls her back into his arms. He kisses her hair and the freckles on her cheeks and her nose, despite the loud protests in between her laughter.

She’s growing up so fast. It feels like Kyle has just blinked and here she is, eight years old already. With a curious mind and her own opinions, while it feels like yesterday he was still changing her diapers. He’s afraid that if he blinks again, she’ll be a teenager already.

So he presses her close against him, as he feels John’s arms around his waist, enjoying it all while he still can.

[zippers]

the feeling of those little tomato seeds rushing across my teeth. down my fingers. mixed with the sweetness and stringy texture of the pineapple. onto my chin and my chest. and the doughy crust and miyoko's cheese stuffing my mouth more than I'd expected due to the law of equivalent exchange.. a familiar texture and flavor, experinced in a new, strange and sudden way that i have never felt before. is this "food porn"? is this bliss? and this anna von hausswolff album on this record player is giving me mighty effervescent vibes.

good start to the week!

no other way to say this, my pizza came all over my face and hands, bit into a pineapple and a cherry tomato at the same time, erotic pizza experience !!

[linkdedruid]

Band AU AU

"I'm so disappointed in myself. I saw a super cute guy at the studio when I went in for my consult, but I totally forgot to try and get his number." Link sighs dramatically, dropping their head into thei hand and casting a look over towards Chris.

"C'mon, I'm sure it's not thaaat bad." Chris replies with sympathetic look.

"But it iiiiis," They whine, "I'm probably never gonna see him again."

"You're such a pessimist, Link." Chris laughs, checking his phone as they wait for Ray to finally show up.

"No, but he was tall with some serious piercing work and, just ughhhh." Link groans once more before looking up at him.

"When did you say Ray was supposed to be here again?"

@chris-continues

[olympeline]

A few more headcanons for my National Animals AU. This time let’s talk about some mainland European nation-people to go with my British Isles bros post:

Germany: dog

Germany’s national animal is a black eagle - kinda, it’s the one on their coat of arms - but ehhh, any kind of bird doesn’t fit Ludwig in my mind. A dog does, though. I can definitely see him as some kind of giant, scary looking canine like a German shepherd or a rottweiler. One that appears intimidating but is soft on the inside. These dogs were bred to be hard workers too, just like Ludwig is. As for what he was in his days as Holy Rome…IDK. Their symbol was, again, a black eagle. Maybe Holy Rome was a black eagle chick who never got to fly. What do you guys think? And yeah, I know “Germany is Holy Rome” is very canonically dubious at this point, but I don’t care. I still like it

Italy (North and South): Italian wolves

They get it from their grandpa! It’s Romulus and Remus all over again. Feli and Lovi were a pair of fluffy little wolf pups for a very long time. Grandpa Rome himself started as a wolf, but I’m on the fence if he stayed that way until he died. Or if he became an eagle - the standard of Rome - as the Empire expanded. Wolves were very feared in Europe and that fits with everyone being scared of the descendants of the infamous Roma…until they meet Feli and Lovi and realise they are a pair of Moon Moons. 😂

France: ??? → lion → horse

I’ve already talked about why Francis would be a lion that became a horse, so let’s focus on what he would have been before. When he was a babby nation pre-French unification. I’m thinking either a fox cub or a young hare. To match with Arthur’s rabbit because I love these two always being connected in some way, hehe. Red fox pups are bluish grey before they mature and blue is Francis’s colour. He became a lion and cast off his fox form before it grew big enough that he would have had to wear a red coat. Yay, Anglo-French rivalry symbolism! Francis is also sleek, cunning, and pretty like a fox. But hares are sleek and pretty too. IDK, but I can imagine a rabbit looking at a hare and having the “god i wish that were me” meme reaction, you know? Hares just seem cooler in general. Arthur looked up to Francis and was jealous of him when they were kids, even if he would never admit it. 😆 The young nations being prey animals when they were conquered by Rome is good too. Yay, more symbolism! So hmm, not sure which is better. Do you guys prefer a fox or a hare for Francy-pants? Tell me in the replies if you like. Either way, he’s one of the nation-people who’s been through the most dramatic transformations over his lifetime.

Spain: ??? → black (fighting) bull

Ey! Toro! Toro! Not much needs to be said here. The toro bravo image is so married to Spanish culture, I can just leave it as is. I don’t know if Antonio would have been something else before, or if he was always a little calf that grew up. My knowledge of Spanish history is full of holes, sadly. I know there’s a lot with Carthage and Rome and the Punic Wars and that Spain was a Roman colony. Then various invasions, religious wars, the reconquista, all leading up to eventual unification. But it’s all too surface level to make headcanons for this AU. If any of you guys have ideas about how Antonio’s history might translate to pre-bull animal form(s) - or if you think he should have any at all - please tell me below! I’m really interested.

Russia: Eurasian brown bear

Another one where not much needs to be said. Russia is a huge, historically feared country with an incredibly tough climate. So Ivan would be a huge, feared animal that could survive the ice and snow of Northern Eurasia’s winters. Also, bears are solitary and blah, blah “friendless Ivan wants companions but they don’t want him” etc. You know the story. Bears were once so feared and hated in some parts of Europe that people refused to even say their name aloud in case it summoned one. They’re also tall af on their hind legs, eat a lot and get chubby, and love sweet things. Ivan was on easy mode for this post, lol.

(This AU is addictive. I think I need an intervention at this point ffff 🫣)

[dearunreliablenarrator]

Writeblr Interview Tag

thank you, thank you to @sableglass for the tag, you can catch their original post here!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels! Sometimes, I think the ideas i have are too large to stay as short stories or that i couldn't capture what's needed for poems.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I've found myself dabbling a bit more into psycho thrillers now a days, otherwise the toes are buried in sci-fi, romance and the occasional philosophy book.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Girls/Guys/Theys', I couldn't plan a thing and stick to it if my life depended on it. I try to do both, just for consistency sake, but I often go off line anyways, but the most important scenes are always written first.

It does make editing a bitch though.

What music do you listen to while writing?

I honestly write in silence (scary i know). Otherwise, Kitchen Nightmares or Hell's Kitchen reruns are on in the back. And unless, I've already curated a playlist for what's being written, there's nothing in these ears but air.

I guess the easy answer is it depends!

Favorite books/movies?

The Menu (2022)/Bottoms (2023)/EEAAO (2022)

Song of Achilles/ A Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires/ Act Your Age, Eve Brown.

Any current WIPs?

Cherries Under the Sun! A new branch of writing for me, I always kinda felt like I had to stick to romance and burnt myself out. So here, we have a exploration of relationships with God and life (in both destructive and favorable manners) and the horrors of which one would go to achieve what they believe to be a righteous way of living.

I don't know...religion makes people do some weird shit in the name of their god and that something I want to explore. Did I mention there are vampires?!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

wide legged pants or leggings, oversized t-shirt and pair of crocs. although, a lot of the time; i'm winnie the poohin' it.

Create a character description of yourself: 

a fluorescent beige girl with copper sister locs, tortie glasses and a slew of patchwork tattoos with facial piercings. of average height, and my clothes probably have a layer of cat hair on them. i'm probably lifting weights or somethings.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Lol yes, but half of the time its not even on purpose. kid you not, in the first chapter of Where the River Bends, i've actually had a man say that to me; and that was after I wrote it. (might be a soothsayer yall) Quite the experience!

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I have yet to kill anyone, but its in the plans. ugh, its gonna be an old lady. i'm sorry in advance; but yall might not even like her so *shrugs*

Coffee or Tea while writing?

don't shoot me! but i think dr.pepper is the ultimate answer. someone should make a dr.pepper tea. 

it might be too country of me to ask for it to be cold with lots of crushed ice.

Slow or fast writer?

I'd say i have my spurts of fast writing, but i think the slower i write; the more I get out.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Real life, i think is the most agreeable answer at the moment. I like people watching or taking my own life experience and stories I've heard over the years and not replicating them but retelling them from my lense on life; which is very...dramatic and mystical to say the least.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Oh, theres so many options for this...but a cook/pub/tavern owner would be the first thing. I love feeding people and making sure they have a place to get warm food, and it'd be pretty cheap too! Or, house staff to some hoity-toity family, maybe get their son or daughter to fall in love with me so I can get some inheritance...but daddy, i love them kind moment

Most fav book cliche:

nerdy girl gets the jock

Least favorite cliche:

misunderstandings/miscommunication; oh god shoot me now! or the "she's hotter without her glasses" move (9x/10 the glasses are what makes them hot!)

Favorite scene to write?

Lore dumping scenes! They may be long and a little tedious to get through but they give so much insight into the smaller behaviors that characters have.

why does character A pick their nose comfortably in public? cause once upon a time; their grammy said it was okay and it's better than having it hang in there all day with people noticing!

I think my favorite so far though, is Warren and Sabryna's talk after a disastrous dinner. It was something in that moment, that they both really needed. Tough conversations equals great rewards in this case.

Reason for writing?

Cause I can! I mean; I'd really come to hate myself if i didn't let these ideas meet the paper or the keyboard in this matter. I think its very freeing to create something of your own, just getting past what others may think is the hard part.

and yall i cant draw for shit besides doodles so i guess writing is it for me.

no pressure tags below! sorry if you were double tagged! @rumeysawrites @inadequatecowboy @lady-grace-pens @tito-sober @shepardsherd @dyrewrites @goldfinchwrites @caninecomplex