oh my god i think i have fixed the "you are annoying everyone by just existing" brain issues that I got from family roadtrip.
just started thinking about the old ladies at my craft group bc im trying to put together a reply to an email one of them sent while i was away, and im like genuinely about to cry because they are all so nice to me and i can really tell they Actually want me there and have taken a real liking to me for some reason and i'm just like,,, so baffled and pleased about it fdjkl.
obviously i am not annoying because those ladies actually enjoy my presence even though I am very anxious and a little strange !!! and even if i am annoying, they still genuinely enjoy me being there and show that through the way they talk to me and about me and look so happy when I walk into the meeting room each week !!
2 notes
·
View notes
31.08.23
I keep thinking about coming back to posting online but every time I finally manage to fight the anxiety and make it back to this page, I draw up blank and end up leaving again...I suppose part of me is incredibly ashamed and embarrassed (about everything that my 'life' is/has been/become) whilst also being utterly exhausted and tired of hearing and saying the same things over and over again. I hate it.
This space was such a positive space for me in recovery in the past, it helped me beyond belief and I met some of the most incredible souls through it. Right now I need everything I can get. Life has been feeling incredibly heavy and hard for longer than I care to admit. I have not been okay (even typing that is hard) and I am finding it hard to see/believe that things can ever get better.
14 notes
·
View notes